>> Announcer: FROM HOLLYWOOD,
IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!"
TONIGHT, AMY ADAMS, JACK HUSTON,
AND MUSIC FROM JEWEL.
AND NOW, JIMMY KIMMEL!
>> Jimmy: HELLO.
I'M JIMMY.
I'M THE HOST OF THE SHOW.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING.
THANK YOU FOR JOINING US ON WEEK
THREE OF OUR ELECTION NIGHT
COVERAGE.
IT IS NOW DAY 20 OF
SQUATTERGATE.
AND WE STILL HAVEN'T SEEN THE
PRESIDENT CONCEDE.
WE'VE BARELY EVEN SEEN THE
PRESIDENT.
ON SATURDAY, THEY HAD A VIRTUAL
G‐20 SUMMIT WITH LEADERS FROM
19 OTHER COUNTRIES.
INSTEAD OF PARTICIPATING, TRUMP
WAS BUSY TWEETING.
THIRTEEN MINUTES INTO THE
SUMMIT, HE TOOK A BREAK TO
WRITE, "THE FAKE NEWS IS NOT
TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT
'COVID,' IN QUOTES FOR NO
REASON, IS RUNNING WILD ALL OVER
THE WORLD, NOT JUST IN THE U. S.
I WAS AT THE VIRTUAL
G‐20 MEETING EARLY THIS MORNING
AND THE BIGGEST SUBJECT WAS
COVID."
YEAH, NO KIDDING.
SAYING COVID IS THE BIGGEST
TOPIC AT THE G‐20 IS LIKE
SAYING, "I WAS AT THE OSCARS,
AND THE BIG SUBJECT WAS MOVIES."
AND THEN, HE SKIPPED THE SESSION
DEVOTED TO PANDEMIC RESPONSE TO
PLAY GOLF AGAIN.
THERE'S THE CARAVAN OF CARTS.
AND THERE HE IS, AIN'T‐DOIN',
JACK NICKLAUS.
AS GRACEFUL AS A DUMPTRUCK.
HE GOLFED ON SATURDAY AND SUNDAY
THIS WEEKEND.
I'VE NEVER SEEN A GUY TRY SO
HARD TO KEEP A JOB HE DOESN'T
EVEN DO.
THIS IS HIS SCHEDULE TODAY.
NO PUBLIC EVENTS AGAIN.
JUST SOME EATING AND PRIVATE
SCREAMING INTO A MYPILLOW.
ON FRIDAY, HE DID DO SOMETHING.
HE ATTEMPTED TO PERSONALLY
INTERFERE IN THE ELECTION.
HE INVITED THE SENATE MAJORITY
LEADER AND SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE
FOR THE STATE OF MICHIGAN TO THE
WHITE HOUSE.
FOR SOME BIGLY BUTTERING UP.
THAT DIDN'T WORK, BECAUSE TODAY,
THE MICHIGAN BOARD OF CANVASSERS
CERTIFIED THE RESULTS,
OFFICIALLY DECLARING JOE BIDEN
THE WINNER.
TRUMP HAD ANOTHER BIG LOSS IN
PENNSYLVANIA TOO.
TRUMP'S SO‐CALLED "ELITE STRIKE
FORCE" OF LAWYERS HAS BEEN
STRIKING OUT.
"STEAL TEAM SIX" IS NOW 1 AND
35 IN COURT.
NBC NEWS REPORTED TODAY THAT
TRUMP IS CONCERNED THAT HIS
LEGAL TEAM IS MADE UP OF "FOOLS
THAT ARE MAKING HIM LOOK BAD."
YEAH, THEY SAID THE SAME THING
ABOUT YOU.
ONE OF HIS NEW CHARACTERS WAS
INTRODUCED LAST WEEK AND KILLED
OFF THIS WEEKEND.
HER NAME IS SIDNEY POWELL.
SHE WAS PUSHING A CONSPIRACY
THEORY THAT SAID THE
GOVERNOR OF GEORGIA, WHO IS A
BOTH REPUBLICAN AND BIG TRUMP
SUPPORTER WAS BRIBED BY THE
VOTING MACHINE COMPANY TO THROW
THE ELECTION TO BIDEN.
I GUESS THAT WAS TOO MUCH EVEN
FOR TRUMP.
BECAUSE A WEEK AFTER HE WELCOMED
SIDNEY POWELL TO WHAT HE
DESCRIBED AS A "TRULY GREAT"
LEGAL TEAM, THE CAMPAIGN PUT OUT
A STATEMENT SAYING
"SIDNEY POWELL IS PRACTICING LAW
ON HER OWN.
SHE IS NOT A MEMBER OF THE TRUMP
LEGAL TEAM.
SHE IS ALSO NOT A LAWYER FOR THE
PRESIDENT IN HIS PERSONAL
CAPACITY."
TRUMP PUT TOGETHER A REAL
CRACKERJACK TEAM OF ATTORNEYS,
IN THAT HE APPEARS TO HAVE
ACTUALLY FOUND THEM INSIDE BOXES
OF CRACKERJACKS.
THE LEAD ATTORNEY WORKING FOR
TRUMP ON THE RECOUNT IN
WISCONSIN, A GUY NAMED
JIM TROUPIS, SAYS HE WANTS ALL
IN‐PERSON ABSENTEE BALLOTS TO BE
THROWN OUT.
WHICH IS INTERESTING BECAUSE HE,
AND HIS WIFE, VOTED ABSENTEE
BALLOTS IN PERSON.
WHEN REPORTERS ASKED HIM ABOUT
IT, HE REFUSED TO ANSWER.
THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
THIS IS NO LONGER JUST
HYPOCRISY.
THIS IS THE HYPOCRALYPSE.
THIS ELECTION IS OVER.
TRUMP SHOULD CONCEDE AND GET ON
WITH THE TRANSITION.
EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.
AFTER HIS GSA ADMINISTRATOR
FINALLY SIGNED OFF ON THE
TRANSITION TODAY, AFTER WEEKS OF
DRAGGING HER FEET, THE PRESIDENT
OPENED THE DOOR A CRACK TO A
TRANSITION.
AT THIS POINT, TRUMP IS LIKE A
DOG THAT IS AFRAID TO GET IN THE
CAR, BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO
GO TO THE VET.
SO HOW DO WE GET HIM OUT OF THE
WHITE HOUSE?
I THINK I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE
THIS.
>>> LET'S HERE IT.
WE TRICK HIM.
WE SEND HIM TO A CITY THAT
SPECIALIZES IN BUILDING REPLICAS
OF FAMOUS LANDMARKS.
THE EIFFEL TOWER, THE PYRAMIDS
OF EGYPT, THE CIRCUS OF CIRCUS.
WHAT WE SHOULD DO IS BUILD TRUMP
HIS OWN WHITE HOUSE IN
LAS VEGAS!
RIGHT ON THE STRIP.
IT'S NOT THAT DIFFICULT.
FIRST, WE BUILD A WHITE HOUSE.
QUIETLY.
THEN, WE SWAP OUT HIS ADDERALL
WITH AMBIEN.
THE MINUTE HE CONKS OUT, WE PUT
HIM ON AIR FORCE ONE, HEAD
STRAIGHT TO McCARRAN AIRPORT.
HE WAKES UP, HE'S RIGHT THERE IN
THE OVAL OFFICE, BUT EVEN BETTER
BECAUSE THIS OVAL OFFICE HAS
SLOT MACHINES!
HE'D LOVE IT.
THE WEATHER WOULD BE BETTER.
PLENTY OF GOLF.
HE'D BE ONE ELEVATOR RIDE AWAY
FROM STRIPPERS, HOOKERS, THE
WHOLE THING!
THE WHITE HOUSE HOTEL AND
CASINO!
IF EVER THERE WAS A WORKABLE
POST‐PRESIDENCY PLAN FOR
DONALD TRUMP, THIS IS IT.
INTRODUCING SIEGFRIED AND TRUMP!
THINK ABOUT IT.
THANK YOU.
WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING.
I DON'T NECESSARILY BELIEVE IN
"SIGNS," BUT AT THE SAME TIME
THAT TRUMP IS ATTACKING THE
FOUNDATION OF OUR DEMOCRACY.
THERE WAS A MUDSLIDE IN SOUTH
DAKOTA.
A BIG MUDSLIDE.
AND YOU CAN SEE, GEORGE, ABE,
TEDDY, AND TOM ARE NOT AMUSED.
THERE ARE MORE NEW COVID CASES
IN TRUMPSYLVANIA.
ANDREW GIULIANI, SON OF RUDY,
AND A SPECIAL ASSISTANT TO THE
PRESIDENT HAS IT.
AND THIS GUY HAS IT TOO!
YOU MAY HAVE SEEN IT BY NOW.
BUT APPARENTLY "I GOT THE RONA."
4
WHY DO BAD THINGS KEEP HAPPENING
TO GOOD PEOPLE?
IF YOU REFER TO IT AS "THE
‘RONA," YOU MIGHT NOT DESERVE
THE VIRUS, BUT YOU DO DESERVE IT
MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE.
DJTJ WILL ISOLATE FOR 14 DAYS ON
HIS FAVORITE STUMP.
YOU EVER READ THE BOOK, "THE
GIVING TREE?"
THAT TERRIBLE BOY HAS COME TO
LIFE.
IT'S INTERESTING THAT DONNY J
GOT IT BECAUSE JUST LAST MONTH,
HE SAID THE NUMBER OF COVID
DEATHS IN THE U. S. WAS "ALMOST
NOTHING."
WHICH ALSO HAPPENS TO BE THE
TITLE OF HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY.
"ALMOST NOTHING."
MEANWHILE, TRUMP SON NUMBER TWO
MIGHT SOON BE THE FIRST LADY OF
NORTH CAROLINA.
ERIC TRUMP'S WIFE, LAURA, IS
SAID TO BE MULLING A RUN FOR THE
SENATE IN THE TAR HEEL STATE.
LARA TRUMP, IF YOU DON'T KNOW,
IS ONE OF THESE WOMEN.
NO ONE IS SURE WHICH.
LARA TRUMP IS FROM
NORTH CAROLINA.
IT'S WEIRD BECAUSE I NEVER
CONSIDERED HER TO BE "FROM"
ANYWHERE.
I JUST ASSUMED SOMEONE LEFT A
BUNCH OF PARTS FROM BROKEN BRATZ
DOLLS IN THE PLAYROOM OF A
MEGACHURCH, AND SHE CAME TO
LIFE.
BUT THIS IS EXCITING.
SENATOR LARA TRUMP!
WHAT AMERICAN CITIZEN WOULDN'T
WANT TO BE REPRESENTED IN
CONGRESS BY THE WIFE OF THE ONLY
TRUMP SON WHO STILL WETS THE
BED?
WE ARE NOW ONLY THREE DAYS AWAY
FROM THE STRANGEST THANKSGIVING
OF OUR COLLECTIVE LIVES.
LAST WEEK, THE CDC URGED
AMERICANS NOT TO TRAVEL.
SO, OF COURSE, THE AIRPORTS ARE
PACKED.
THAT IS THE SCENE IN CHICAGO.
THIS IS PHOENIX.
WHAT DO THEY EXPECT?
WE'RE THE SAME PEOPLE THEY HAD
TO TELL NOT TO EAT TIDE PODS!
HERE'S WHAT'S SO CRAZY.
EVERY YEAR, WE LOOK FOR AN
EXCUSE TO GET OUT OF SPENDING
THANKSGIVING WITH OUR FAMILIES.
NOW, WE FINALLY HAVE ONE AND
EVERYONE'S COMPLAINING.
EMBRACE IT!
HOW MUCH CRANBERRY JELL‐O CAN
YOU EAT?!
THE SAFEST WAY TO CELEBRATE,
OBVIOUSLY, IS TO STAY HOME AND
VIDEOCHAT WITH YOUR FAMILY.
ZOOM IS EVEN LIFTING THEIR FREE
40‐MINUTE TIME LIMIT ON
THANKSGIVING, SO FAMILIES CAN
TALK AS LONG AS THEY LIKE.
GREAT.
PLEASE DON'T ANYONE TELL MY
FAMILY ABOUT THIS.
WE NEED A TIME LIMIT.
OTHERWISE, IT COULD GO ON UNTIL
CHRISTMAS.
GUILLERMO, WHAT'S YOUR PLAN FOR
THANKSGIVING?
JUST STAY AT HOME WITH MY WIFE
AND SON.
>> WILL YOU BE COOKING?
>> NO, WE DON'T LIKE TURKEYS.
SHE WILL BE COOKING CHICKEN.
>> OH, SHE WILL BE MAKING
CHICKEN.
CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, DID YOU
GO TO BOSTON MARKET TO GET CHICK
ESPN.
>> JIMMY, IT'S OUT OF BUSINESS
RIGHT NOW.
>> OUT OF BUSINESS?
>> YEAH, THEY CLOSE IT.
>> I WANTED TO ASK, AND I WILL
TELL YOU WHY I WANTED TO ASK,
LAST YEAR, I ASKED IF YOU WERE
GOING TO GO TO BOSTON MARKET AND
YOU DENIED EVER HAVING GONE TO
BOSTON MARKET FOR CHICKEN.
>> NO, I DID.
ONE TIME I WENT.
>> OH, HOW FAST CAN WE GET THAT
TAPE FROM LAST YEAR?
ALSO, I KNOW GUILLERMO HAS
SPECIAL CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS
ON.
>> OH, YES, I PUT IT ON LAST
NIGHT, I PUT IT ON YESTERDAY.
>> THIS IS A VIDEO THAT
GUILLERMO TEXTED TO DANNY, ONE
OF OUR WRITERS HERE.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT IT.
>> HI, DANNY, LOOK, I HAVE MY
BABY YODA OVER HERE AND BABY
YODA OVER THERE, AND R2D2 AND
R2D2‐2 AND I GOT, I DON'T
REMEMBER WHO IT IS, BUT IT'S
FROM STAR WARS.
LOOK AT THE GUY AND TEXT ME WHO
IT IS.
THANKS, DANNY.
>> THAT'S YOUR YARD?
>> YEAH, THAT'S MY YARD.
>> YOU PUT ALL THAT STUFF UP?
>> YES.
>> WHO DID IT.
>> MY WIFE AND MY SON.
>> YOU ARE STAR WARS CRAZY.
>> THANKS TO MY SON, AND MY GOOD
FRIEND DANNY.
>> HE GOT YOU IN STAR WARS?
>> HE GOT ME TO WATCH THE MOVIES
AND EVERYTHING.
>> I THINK MY WIFE PAID LIKE ‐‐
LIKE WHAT?
>> $400 SOMETHING.
>> WE LOOKED UP THE PRICES FOR
ALL OF THOSE ITEMS.
QUITE A BIT MORE THAN $400.
>> YOU SURE?
I TEXT HER, I SWEAR TO GOD.
SHE SAY LIKE OH, LIKE $450.
>> I BELIEVE THAT SHE LIED TO
YOU.
THAT I'M NOT, I'M NOT
QUESTIONING THAT.
>> DOES SHE LOVE STAR WARS ALSO?
>> ACTUALLY, RIGHT NOW, YES,
BECAUSE OF MY SON.
YES.
WE WATCHED ALL THE STAR WARS
MOVIE, MANDOLOREAN AND
EVERYTHING.
>> YEAH, I WOULD HOPE SO.
>> WE LOVE STAR WARS.
>> YOU REMEMBER JESUS, THE
CHRISTMAS GUY?
>> YEAH.
>> WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?
>> NO, I GOT TO PUT HIM NEXT
WEEKEND.
>> OKAY.
>> STEP BY STEP.
>> R2D2, YODA, JESUS.
>> NO, JESUS, I SPENT THE WHOLE
DAY DOING THAT, I THE DID NOT
HAVE TIME FOR JESUS AND SANTA
CLAUS.
>> WHAT WE ARE TRYING TO SAY IS
PLEASE BE SAFE THIS HOLIDAY
SEASON, BUT IF YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR AN EVEN MORE HIGH TECH WAY
THAN ZOOM TO MAKE THANKSGIVING
FESTIVE, YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE
A LOOK AT THIS.
>> THARNGS ‐‐ THANKSGIVING
WITHOUT YOUR FAMILY IS TOUGH,
BUT THANKLY THERE'S A SOLUTION.
UNCLE RENTAL.
>> OH, TOFU ON THANKSGIVING,
WHAT IS THIS VEGAN CRAP.
>> IT'S LIKE UNCLE DEAN IS
REALLY HERE.
>> HE IS HERE TO MAKE
THANKSGIVING GREAT AGAIN.
WITH 6,000 IGNORANT SAYINGS.
>> OH, THIS IS THAT MR. RODGER'S
MOVIE.
I LOVE TOM HANKS.
>> TOM HANKS IS A PEDO, DRINKS
CHILDREN'S BLOOD I, READ IT ON
FACEBOOK.
>> ADJUST THE BIGOTSPIGOT TO
ADJUST THE RACISM LEVEL TO THE
LEVEL YOU WANT.
>> I SAY NUKE THE ‐‐ AND LET GOD
SORT THEM OUT.
>> OKAY THAT, IS WAY TOO HIGH.
>> IN THIS COUNTRY WE SPEAK
ENGLISH.
>> PERFECT.
>> HOW IS THAT PERFECT.
[ BURPING ]
>> WHAT IS THAT SMELL?
>> YOUR UNCLE RELEASING ODORS,
M
MIMICING AN ORIGINAL UNCLE.
AVAILABLE AT WALGREEN'S.
>> YOU SHOULD PUT HOSE ON YOUR
LAWN.
>> IN TWO WEEKS.
WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
JACK HUSTON IS HERE.
WE'VE GOT MUSIC FROM JEWEL.
AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
AMY ADAMS.
STICK AROUND.
♪
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK.
TONIGHT, FROM "FARGO" ON FX,
JACK HUSTON IS HERE.
AND LATER, THIS BOX SET IS THE
25th ANNIVERSARY REISSUE OF HER
MONSTER ALBUM, "PIECES OF YOU."
FROM THE SHERIDAN OPERA HOUSE IN
TELLURIDE, JEWEL.
YOU CAN JOIN JEWEL AND CROWN
ROYAL TO SAVE AMERICA'S FAVORITE
BARS, CLUBS, AND STAGES BY GOING
TO MAINSTREETALLIANCE.ORG.
TOMORROW NIGHT, KRISTEN STEWART
AND JOSH DUHAMEL, WITH MUSIC
FROM THE GREAT JAMES TAYLOR.
PLEASE JOIN US FOR THAT.
OUR FIRST GUEST IS A MULTI‐OSCAR
NOMINATED, GOLDEN GLOBE WINNING
ACTRESS.
HER NEWEST MOVIE, DIRECTED BY
RON HOWARD, IS CALLED
"HILLBILLY ELEGY."
IT PREMIERES TOMORROW ON
NETFLIX.
PLEASE SAY HELLO TO AMY ADAMS.
>>> HI, AMY.
>> HI, HOW ARE YOU?
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO, WISH I
WAS THERE.
>> ARE YOU REALLY ‐‐
>> I'M REALLY BAD AT THE ZOOM
THING, WE WILL SEE.
>> HAVE YOU BEEN QUARANTINED OR
LOCKED UP OR WHATEVER YOU WANT
TO CALL IT?
>> MORE OR LESS, I WORKED A
LITTLE BIT, BUT MORE OR LESS,
REALLY JUST HUNKER DOWN WITH MY
FAMILY SINCE THIS ALL STARTED,
YEAH.
>> Jimmy: HOW IS THAT GOING?
>> IT'S GOING OKAY.
I'M KIND OF A HOME BODY, SO, I
MEAN, IT'S, IT'S TAKING SOME
GETTING USED TO BE HOME THIS
MUCH, BUT I'M SOCIAL.
I DO A LOT OF ZOOM THINGS.
>> Jimmy: YOU HAVE BECOME MORE
SOCIAL THAN YOU USUALLY ARE?
>> WAY MORE SOCIAL, YEAH, I HAVE
A ZOOM MOM'S GROUP THAT WE GET
TOGETHER AND SORT OF TALK ABOUT
OUR CONCERNS AND CARES.
AND THEN, I DO SOMETHING CALLED
FACETIME ROULETTE, WHERE I
RANDOMLY FACETIME PEOPLE IN MY
CONTACT GROUP TO SEE WHO WILL
ANSWER.
THAT'S FUN.
>> Jimmy: REALLY?
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: IS THERE SOMEBODY THAT
DOES NOT ANSWER?
>> MY SISTER.
>> Jimmy: YOUR SISTER.
>> MY MOM.
THE PEOPLE THAT DO ANSWER, IT'S
FUN.
I GOT JACK McBRAER, HE WILL
ANSWER RANDOMLY LIKE NEXT TO HIS
POOL AND I DO A MOVIE NIGHT ONCE
A WEEK.
WE WATCH A MOVIE AND DO A QUIZ
ABOUT THE MOVIE.
>> Jimmy: WAIT, WHO DOES THE
QUIZ, YOU AND JACK?
OR IS IT ‐‐
>> NO, NO, DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
LIKE ME AND A GROUP OF FRIENDS,
THEY INVITED ME TO IT, WHICH I'M
GRATEFUL FOR.
SO EVERY WEEK WE WATCH A BEST
PICTURE NOMINEE STARTING FROM
1960, WE ARE IN THE 80s NOW, SO
IT'S BEEN A WHILE.
>> Jimmy: I BET YOU DIDN'T THINK
YOU WOULD BE THIS FAR IN TO IT.
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
>> IT'S REALLY FUN.
>> Jimmy: YOU GET THE BEST
PICTURE NOMINEE OR WINNER YOU
LOOK AT?
>> WINNER.
YES.
>> Jimmy: OKAY.
SO WHAT MOVIE WAS 1960, BEST
PICTURE?
>> WELL, I WAS A LITTLE LATE TO
THE GAME.
>> Jimmy: OH, OKAY.
>> THE FIRST ONE, WHY CAN'T I
REMEMBER THE NAME.
I REALIZE I HAVE NOT SEEN MOVIES
THAT I REALLY SHOULD HAVE SEEN.
SO IT'S BEEN GREAT FOR ME.
LIKE, I SAW "THE DEER HUNTER,"
AND "GODFATHER I," "GODFATHER
II."
>> Jimmy: WOW, YOU HAVE NOT SEEN
"THE GODFATHER."
I'M JEALOUS.
C
DID THEY HIT YOU?
WERE THEY WHAT YOU IMAGINED THEY
WOULD BE?
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THEY WERE.
>> YEAH, THEY WERE AMAZING AND I
REALIZED THAT I HAVE A
RETROACTIVE CRUSH ON ROBERT DE
NIRO, TURNS OUT.
>> Jimmy: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
>> I HAVE LIKE A CRUSH ON HIM IN
THE '70s, NOT THAT I WOULD NOT
HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM NOW, BUT I'M
MARRIED.
>> Jimmy: IN THE 70s NOT IN HIS
70s.
>> I MEAN, I'M OPEN TO HAVING A
CRUSH ON HIM IN THE 70s.
I THINK THAT COULD HAPPEN.
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT HIM IN
"THE GODFATHER" AND "THE DEER
HUNTER," I WAS LIKE, WOW, TURNS
OUT, MASSIVE CRUSH, YEAH.
SO THAT'S WHAT I'M GETTING FROM
MOVIE NIGHT.
NOT LIKE A DEEP EDUCATION FROM
CINEMA.
JUST LIKE ROBERT DE NIRO IS
REALLY HOT.
YEAH.
>> Jimmy: I WONDER HOW HE WOULD
FEEL ABOUT THAT?
I WONDER IF HE WOULD BE
FLATTERED, OR HE WOULD SAY, WHY
DIDN'T YOU THINK I WAS HOT
BEFORE, YOU HAVE SEEN ME IN
MOVIES.
>> I THINK I WAS SO FOCUSED ON
HIS TALENT BEFORE, I WAS
DISTRACTED BY HIS ACTING BEFORE.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S A GOOD WAY OF
PUTTING IT.
WHAT ARE OTHER MOVIES THAT
EVERYONE HAS SEEN THAT, BECAUSE
EVERYONE HAS THE MOVIES.
I DON'T THINK THAT WE EXPECT
THAT FROM SOMEBODY WHO IS, YOU
KNOW, WHO HAS ACCOLADES FOR
ACTING LIKE YOU DO.
I THINK WE IMAGINE THAT YOU
WOULD HAVE SEEN EVERY SINGLE
MOVIE.
WHAT IS ONE THAT REALLY STICKS
OUT FOR YOU?
FOR ME, "TOP GUN," I NEVER SAW
"TOP GUN."
>> YOU NEVER SAW "TOP GUN"?
>> Jimmy: YEAH, PEOPLE GET MAD
AND START YELLING AT ME.
>> I WILL NOT YELL AT YOU, BUT I
RECOMMEND YOU SEEING IT.
ISN'T "MAVERICK" COMING OUT?
>> Jimmy: I SHOULD CATCH UP.
I KIND OF FEEL LIKE I KNOW
EVERYTHING.
I FEEL LIKE SO MUCH HAS BEEN
TOLD, IT'S RUINED.
>> I FELT LIKE I HAD SEEN THOSE
MOVIES BECAUSE I HAD SEEN SO
MANY SCENES I THINK I THOUGHT I
HAD SEEN THEM.
>> Jimmy: FOR ME, IT'S THE "MAD"
MAGAZINE, WHEN THEY DID THE
MAGAZINE VERSION OF THE MOVIE, I
FELT LIKE I HAD SEEN THOSE.
>> I LIKED THE FOLDING PICTURES.
>> Jimmy: AND THEY NEVER SPELLED
ANYTHING THAT MADE ANY SENSE.
IT WAS ALWAYS A STRETCH.
>> IT WAS ALWAYS CAN ‐‐
>> Jimmy: WHAT OTHER MOVIES HAVE
YOU SEEN THAT WERE MAYBE NOT
AACADEMY AWARD WINNERS?
>> I DON'T KNOW, THAT'S A REALLY
GOOD QUESTION.
I'M TRYING TO THINK.
I KNOW WHICH MOVIES I HAVE SEEN
A LOT OF THAT MIGHT SHOCK AND
HORRIFY YOU, BUT NO.
>> Jimmy: HAVE YOU SEEN "STAR
WARS."
>> I HAVE SEEN "STAR WARS,"
MANY, MANY, MANY, MANY TIMES.
LIKE WE WILL DO "STAR WARS"
MARATHONS.
>> Jimmy: IF YOU WANT TO SEE IT
ONE MORE TIME, DRIVE BY
GUILLERMO'S HOUSE.
>> I LOVE YOUR BABY YODA LAWN
ORNAMENTS, THOSE ARE AMAZING.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH, THANK
YOU.
>> THOSE ARE GREAT.
>> Jimmy: HIS WIFE LIED TO HIM
AND TOLD HIM IT COST LESS THAN
HALF OF WHAT IT ACTUALLY COST.
>> I MEAN ‐‐
>> 450.
>> Jimmy: SHE TOLD HIM LESS THAN
$450.
>> I WILL GOOGLE THAT TONIGHT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
WHAT IS YOUR PLAN FOR
THANKSGIVING, JUST THE FAMILY?
>> YEAH, JUST MY HUSBAND AND MY
DAUGHTER.
MYSELF.
SO, I'M GOING TO DO, I WILL
REALLY MISS MY FAMILY, BUT, YOU
KNOW, WE WILL MAKE IT WORK.
>> Jimmy: ONE OF THE LAST TIMES
YOU WERE HERE BEFORE THE WORLD
CLOSED DOWN.
IT WAS CHRISTMAS OR
THANKSGIVING, ONE OF THE
HOLIDAYS.
AS I RECALL, YOU ARE FROM A VERY
BIG FAMILY.
YOU HAD EVERYONE STAYING AT YOUR
HOUSE, YOU HAD AIR MATTRESSES
ALL OVER THE GROUND.
>> THAT SOUNDS RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: IT WAS A TRIAGE TYPE
SITUATION.
>> ANY TIME I HAVE GUESTS, IT'S
LIKE A TRIAGE SITUATION.
>> Jimmy: ARE YOU GOING TO DO A
ZOOM THING WHERE YOU ARE ALL
INTERACTING WHILE YOU EAT?
>> UM, PROBABLY NOT WHILE WE
EAT.
IT WILL PROBABLY JUST BE US.
I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
DINNER.
ALTHOUGH, I'M VERY EXCITED.
I WAS NOT SURE WHAT TO DO ABOUT
THE TURKEY, BECAUSE I WAS THE
ONLY ONE IN TO THE TURKEY.
I DID FIND A LITTLE PETITE
TURKEY.
>> Jimmy: YOU DID?
>> I DID.
>> Jimmy: THOSE ARE CALLED
CHICKENS.
>> NO, NO, IT'S LIKE A LITTLE ‐‐
IT'S DETHAWING IN MY FRIDGE I'M
EXCITED.
>> Jimmy: HOW MANY TIMES IS THE
BABY TURKEY YOU ARE EATING?
>> OH, NO, YOU CALLED IT A BABY.
I THOUGHT IT WAS A MINITURE, UH
OH, THAT MAKES ME THINK ABOUT IT
DIFFERENTLY.
>> Jimmy: THEY DON'T HIT THEM
WITH A SHRINK RAY.
>> HUH, UH OH.
>> Jimmy: MAYBE IT'S A SPECIAL
PONY TURKEY OR SOMETHING LIKE
THAT, THAT YOU ARE EATING.
AM I MAKING IT WORSE?
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, I'M
HAVING A DILEMMA.
MY DAUGHTER IS DEFINITELY NOT
GOING TO EAT IT NOW FOR SURE.
THAT'S FOR SURE.
>> Jimmy: WHEN WE COME BACK, WE
WILL SEE A SCENE FROM "HILLBILLY
ELEGY" WITH AMY ADAMS, WE WILL
BE RIGHT BACK.
>> PORTIONS OF
"JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" ARE BROUGHT
TO YOU BY PAYPAL.
DOWNLOAD THE PAYPAL AND VENMO
APPS TO SHOP SAFE WITH Q‐R CODES
AT CVS.
>>> I CHANGED MY MIND.
>> I BEGGED THEM TO LET YOU STAY
HERE.
>> WELL, NOBODY ASKED YOU TO.
NOT A CHARITY CASE.
>> WHY AM I HERE, MOM?
>> FEEL SUPERIOR, MAYBE.
>> HOW CAN YOU BE SO ‐‐ SELFISH?
DO YOU CARE WHAT YOU DO TO
LYNDSAY.
>> J. D., SHUT UP.
>> YOU LEAVE LYNDSAY OUT OF
THIS.
>> YOU DID THE SAME THING FROM
MAMAW, YOU TOOK AND TOOK FROM
HER UNTIL SHE WAS PRACTICALLY
BANKRUPT.
>> YEAH, SHE WAS A SAINT.
>> ALL SHE DID WAS BAIL YOU OUT.
>> WHEN IT MATTERED.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS BASED ON A
TRUE STORY, THIS REALLY
HAPPENED?
>> YES, IT IS BASED ON THE BOOK,
SAME TITLE.
IT CHRONICLES HIS LIFE IN OHIO,
WITH ANCESTORS FROM APPLACHIA
AND KENTUCKY.
>> Jimmy: THEY INTERVIEWED THE
WOMEN YOU PLAYED, AND THE
WOMAN ‐‐ OH, BOY, I WONDER WHAT
SHE THOUGHT OF BEING PORTRAYED
THAT WAY?
>> I'M ALWAYS VERY, HM‐MM,
SENSITIVE TO WHAT THEIR
EXPERIENCE MUST BE.
I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET TO
MEET HER AND TALK THROUGH WHAT
WE WERE DOING.
SHE READ THE BOOK, SO SHE KNEWS
THE A ROUGH TIME IN HER LIFE
BEING HIGHLIGHTED.
I WAS REALLY, REALLY NERVOUS AND
INTIMIDATED.
>> Jimmy: I WOULD THINK SO.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YOU MET HER AFTER THE
FILM?
>> BEFORE.
>> Jimmy: OH, BEFORE.
>> AS PART OF THE RESEARCH.
THE FAMILY INVITED US IN SO WE
GOT TO MEET A LOT OF THE FAMILY
MEMBER‐S.
>> Jimmy: IF SOMEBODY SEEMS
REALLY SCAREY AND YOU MEET THEM
BEFORE YOU SHOOT THE MOVIE,
WOULD YOU REEL ITAD ‐‐ IT IN
FOR SAFETY SAKE?
>> WHAT ARE YOU SAY SOMEING?
IT DEPENDS.
THIS IS A SPECIFIC TIME IN HER
LIFE WHERE SHE IS GOING THROUGH
A LOT OF STRUGGLES.
>> Jimmy: I ASSUME IT'S A WIG
THAT YOU ARE WEARING IN THAT
SCENE?
>> NO, THAT ‐‐ NO, YES, THAT'S A
WIG.
I HAD TWO DIFFERENT WIGS.
THAT WAS HER WHEN SHE WAS OLDER
AND THEN I PLAY HER AND HER 30s
AS WELL.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU LIKE A WIG?
IS A WIG SOMETHING THAT HELPS
YOU GET IN TO IT?
>> IT'S, YEAH, I LOVE A WIG.
AND I LIKE THAT IT TAKES A LOT
OF TIME OFF THE PREP IN THE
MORNING.
YOU JUST GET TO PUT THE WIG ON.
AND ‐‐ YEAH.
AND THE WIG IN THIS.
I NICKNAMED HER BECAUSE IT WAS
HOT AND IT FELT LIKE I WAS W
WEARING AN ANIMAL ON MY HEAD IT
WAS BEAVERLY INSTEAD OF BEVERLY.
>> Jimmy: GLENN CLOSE PLAYS YOUR
MOM IN THE MOVIE, HAD YOU MET
HER BEFORE?
>> WE MET EACH OTHER BACK AND
FORTH.
I CALL IT A RED CARPET
FRIENDSHIP, WHERE YOU JUST KIND
OF WAVE ACROSS.
I BOW TO HER ACROSS THE RED
CARPET.
IT WAS GREAT MEETING HER.
SHE IS SUCH AN AMAZING WOMAN,
AND SPEAKING OF THE REAL LIFE
COUNTERPART TO THE ROLE SHE
PLAYED, IT'S UNCANNY.
>> Jimmy: SEEMS THAT YOU HIT IT
ALL.
I HAVE A VIDEO THAT GLENN POSTED
TO INSTAGRAM.
TELL US WHAT WE ARE GOING TO SEE
IN THE VIDEO?
>> IS THIS A VIDEO OF ME ON A
BICYCLE.
>> Jimmy: YES.
YES.
IT INVOLVES ‐‐ YES.
>> OH, MY GOD, SO FUNNY.
>> YEAH, I'M FEEDING A GOAT.
>> Jimmy: UH‐HUH.
THIS IS CALLED GOATS ON THE
ROOF?
>> IT'S CALLED GOATS ON THE
ROOF.
IT'S IN CLAYTON, GEORGIA.
THERE'S GOATS THE ROOF.
IT WOULD BE VERY DISAPPOINTING
IF IT WERE CALLED KBOET ED GOAT
ROOF AND THERE'S NO GOATS ON THE
ROOF.
YOU PUT THE FOOD IN IT AND YOU
RIDE THE BIKE AND IT WHEELS IT
UP AND YOU FEED THE GOATS ON THE
ROOF.
>> Jimmy: THE PEOPLE AT GOATS ON
THE ROOF MUST LAUGH HARD.
NOT ONLY DO THEY PAY TO FEED THE
ANIMALS THEY GET ON A BIKE TO
MAKE THE FOOD GO UP TO THE ROOF.
>> I HAD A LOT OF FUN AT GOATS
ON THE ROOF.
I DID.
>> Jimmy: WELL.
>> THEY ARE SO SWEET.
>> Jimmy: WHY WOULDN'T YOU.
THANK YOU FOR BEING WITH US.
HAVE A GREAT THANKSGIVING AND I
HOPE THAT TINY TURKEY COMES OUT
AND YOU DON'T SHED A TEAR.
>> I'M SO UPSET ABOUT THE BABY
TURKEY THING.
I CANNOT TELL YOU.
I HAVE A LOT OF THINKING TO DO.
THANK YOU, SIR IS.
>> Jimmy: WE WILL MAIL YOU
SPAGHETTI.
AMY ADAMS.
"HILLBILLY ELEGY" WITH PREMIERS
TOMORROW ON NETFLIX.
WE WILL BE BACK WITH JACK
HUSTON.
♪
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK,
JACK HUSTON AND MUSIC FROM JEWEL
ARE ON THE WAY.
THE HOLIDAYS WILL SOON BE UPON
US, BUT WITH THE VIRUS STILL OUT
THERE, SHOPPING HAS BECOME A
CHALLENGE.
NO CHALLENGE IS TOO CLALG
CHALLENGING FOR OUR RESIDENT
SHOPAHOLIC, GUILLERMO.
>> HI, I'M GETTING SHOPPING DOWN
AT CVS, HOW AM I GOING TO PAY
SAFELY WITHOUT TOUCHING A BUNCH
OF STUFF.
>> WELL ‐‐
>> I HAVE AN IDEA.
>> SIR, YOU DON'T, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO DO THIS.
SIR.
>> OKAY, HERE.
>> OKAY.
>> SIR.
>> I GOT A BITE, I GOT A BIG
ONE.
>> SIR, WE DON'T.
>> QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, QUACK,
QUACK, QUACK, QUACK, YOU DON'T
LIKE DUCKS?
YOU GOING TO LOVE THIS.
>> SIR, NONE OF THIS IS
NECESSARY.
>> OH, OKAY.
>> PAYPAL AND VENMO QR CODES ARE
AVAILABLE.
SCAN THE CODE, PAY AND GO.
USING THE SCAN TO GO FEATURE.
>> THAT WAS EASY, SAFE AND TOUCH
FREE.
>> I GUESS I WILL NOT BE NEEDING
THIS.
>> DOWNLOAD THE PAYPAL, AND
VENMO APPS TO MAKE TOUCHLESS
PAYMENTS IN CVS STORES TODAY.
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK.
OUR NEXT GUEST IS A TALENTED
ACTOR FROM A LEGENDARY SHOW
BUSINESS FAMILY, YOU KNOW HIM
FROM "BOARDWALK EMPIRE" AND
SEASON FOUR OF "FARGO" ON FX.
PLEASE WELCOME JACK HUSTON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> HOW ARE YOU?
>> Jimmy: WOW.
WE SHOULD JUST GO WITH THE BOW.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IN SQUJAPAN, THEY HAD IT RIGHT.
THE BOW WAS ACCEPTABLE.
LIKE ON "THE TONIGHT" SHOW, THEY
ALWAYS HAD A BOW.
IT'S VERY OLD SCHOOL.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU.
>> Jimmy: I'VE BEEN CAN DOING
WELL, I'M WATCHING YOU ON
"FARGO," ONE OF MY FAVORITE
SHOWS.
>> IT'S A GOOD SHOW.
>> Jimmy: WE CAN TALK ABOUT YOUR
CHARACTER.
>> WHY IS.
>> Jimmy: I'M GOING TO SAY
SOMETHING, FIRST TIME I SAW YOU
PLAYING THIS GUY.
I FELT SORRY FOR YOU.
I WAS LIKE, THIS MUST BE AN
ABS
ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE TO HAVE THE
TICKS AND KNOCKING AND ALL THE
STUFF AND TO SUMMON THAT AND TO
PUT IT IN YOUR PSYCHE.
>> MY FIRSTS MEETING WITH NOAH,
A GENIUS, HE IS AMAZING.
THE ONLY TIDBIT ABOUT MY
CHARACTER BEFORE I SIGNED ON WAS
HE IS A KANSAS CITY DETECTIVE
WITH OCD, THAT WAS IT, THAT WAS
THE END OF IT.
I REMEMBER IT WAS MY FIRST DAY
OF WORK.
AS AN ACTOR, YOU CONSTANTLY TRY
TO PLAY IT DOWN.
THE SUBTLETY, THE CAMERA IS
RIGHT THERE.
I HAD BEEN WORKING ON THIS.
AND MY CHARACTER, YOU KNOW, HE
DOES EVERYTHING IN FIVEs.
I WAS DOING THESE WITH MY
FINGERS AND MY LEGS GOING AND
ALL THE REST OF IT.
I THINK I'M GOING TO GO IN AND
START SLOW.
AND I'M GOING IN WITH MY FIRST
SCENE, AND I GO OUT, AND I WAS
LIKE, GO A LITTLE FURTHER.
OKAY.
I GO OUT AND MY LEG STARTS GOING
AND I DO, THIS AND HE CUT CACAN‐
HE CUT AND HE SAID, GO A LITTLE
FURTHER.
AND EVERY TIME HE WOULD GO, GO A
LITTLE FURTHER.
BY THE END MY EYE WAS TWITCHING
AND MY FACE WAS TWITCHING AND I
WAS DOING THE FINGERS AND MOVING
THINGS ON THE DESK AND THEN HE
GOES, OKAY.
GOOD, NOW PULL IT BACK.
AND I WAS LIKE, OH, I GET IT.
BECAUSE WHAT HE WANTED ME TO
FEEL AND EXPERIENCE WAS, HE
WANTED TO GET ALL OF THESE
THINGS OUT OF ME TO KNOW WHAT
WAS ACTUALLY HAPPENING INSIDE,
IF YOU HAVE OCD, WHAT YOU DO, DO
IS ONLY A FRACTION OF WHAT YOU
WANT TO DO.
SO, YOU KNOW, IF I'M KNOCKING
FIVE TIMES, I'M PROBABLY WANTING
TO KICK SOMETHING 50 TIMES AND
DO SOMETHING ELSE AND MOVE
EVERYTHING.
SO, IT WAS SORT OF A REALLY GOOD
TOOL.
BUT I ‐‐
>> Jimmy: YEAH, DO YOU THINK
THAT HE WENT IN TO FILMING THAT
DAY, KNOWING THAT THAT WAS HOW
HE WAS GOING TO HANDLE IT?
THAT HE WAS GOING TO FILL WITH
YOU AS MANY TICKS AS HUMANLY
POSSIBLE AND THEN TELL YOU TO
TRY TO PRETEND YOU DON'T HAVE
OCD?
>> IT'S INTERESTING, IT MAY BE
THE GENIUS OF NOAH, LIKE YOU
SAID.
IT WAS THE BEST DIRECTION THAT I
EVER GOT.
KEEP GOING, KEEP GOING, GO
FURTHER.
YOU CAN ALWAYS PULL IT BACK, BUT
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW FAR YOU CAN
GO UNTIL YOU ARE GIVEN THE SORT
OF ‐‐ BUT THAT WAS.
>> Jimmy: DID IT BE STRESSFUL
FOR YOU AS FAR AS MAINTAINING
THAT GOES?
>> I HAVE SO MUCH SIMPLE IS THI.
‐‐ I HAVE SO MUCH SYMPATHY FOR
PEOPLE.
>> Jimmy: I HAVE THAT, YOU KIND
OF DO A BIT OF COUNTING AND
YEAH ‐‐
>> YEAH, TOTALLY.
>> Jimmy: IT'S FRUSTRATING.
>> IT'S FUNNY WHEN I SPEAK TO
PEOPLE ABOUT IT.
WHAT I DEVELOPED FROM THIS, WAS
I DRINK A LOT OF COUFFEE, AND
THERE'S A LINE WHERE A GUY SAID
ROUGH NIGHT.
AND I SAY, EVERY NIGHT IS A
ROUGH NIGHT.
I DEVELOPED A WEIRD FACIAL TICK
THAT ‐‐
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> IT SUDDENLY STARTS GOING.
AND MY FACE STARTED GOING AND I
REALIZED AS SOON AS THEY SAID
ACTION, MY FACE WOULD GO,
BECAUSE I WAS HOLDING SO MUCH
IN.
AND THEN I OFFERED SPECIFICALLY
SORT OF HARD CORE, I HAD JUST
BROKEN FOR CHRISTMAS BREAK AND I
WAS ON THE WAY TO THE AIRPORT
AND I FINISHED AND MY FACE IS
JUST GOING AND I CANNOT STOP IT.
I AM LIKE, CALLING MY PARTNER,
SHANNON, AND I'M LIKE, THIS IS
ME NOW.
I HAVE, I HAVE DEVELOPED A
FACIAL TICK AND I TRULY BELIEVE
IT TOOK ME THREE DAYS TO LOSE
IT.
>> Jimmy: WOW.
>> I HAD GONE SO FAR IN TO IT.
>> Jimmy: WOW.
>> IT WAS INSANE.
IT WAS A MESS.
YEAH, CRAZY.
>> Jimmy: THAT IS DISTURBING.
COULD BE WORSE BY THE WAY TOO.
>> I KNOW.
>> Jimmy: WHAT WILL YOU DOER FOR
THANKSGIVING?
DO YOU VISIT THE HUSTON FAMILY?
DO YOU HAVE A CONGREGATION OF
SOME KIND?
>> YEAH, WE GO TO MY AUNT
ANGELICA.
ANT JELLY, MY KIDS CALL HER.
WE GO TO HER RANCH.
>> Jimmy: IS IT A REAL RANCH
WITH ANIMALS AND EVERYTHING?
>> IT IS, A LOT OF AN IMALANIMAE
WANTED AND SOME UNWANTED, I WILL
BE HONEST.
I HAVE THE WORST FATHER OF
SPIDERS SINCE A CHILD.
I SEE A SPIDER AND YOU THINK IT
WAS MY DAUGHTER SCREAMING.
>> Jimmy: REALLY?
>> I HAVE IT HORRIFICALLY.
AND SUBSEQUENTLY, I HAVE NOW
MANAGED TO PLACE MY FEARS
ENTIRELY ON MY CHILDREN.
I HAVE A 4‐YEAR‐OLD BOY AND A
7‐YEAR‐OLD DAUGHTER.
AND THEY, WHEN I THINK I SHRIEK
AT A SPIDER NOW, BECAUSE OF
DADDY EVERY TIME SEEING A SPIDER
RUNNING OUT OF THE ROOM, THEY
TAKE IT TO ‐‐
>> Jimmy: THAT'S HOW IT GOES.
>> IT GOES INSANE.
>> Jimmy: I PRETEND I'M NOT
AFRAID OF ANYTHING WITH MY
CHILDREN.
MY SON, WE WENT TO IDAHO AND HE
WAS HOLDING A SNAKE.
AND I'M LIKE ‐‐ AND IT'S ALSO,
WHEN YOU REALIZE A 3‐YEAR‐OLD IS
MORE MAN THAN YOU ARE.
>> ALL THE TIME.
THE WHOLE TIME.
MY KIDS THE WHOLE TIME, IT'S SO
FUNNY YOU SAY THAT ABOUT YOUR
CHILDREN.
BECAUSE I REMEMBER LAST TIME WE
WENT, IT WAS IN THE SUMMER AND
YOU KNOW, EVERY SORT OF DAY,
THERE WAS ABOUT SORT OF
20‐‐30SHRIEKS, MAINLY FROM ME,
SOME FROM MY CHILDREN.
SEEING A LITTLE SPIDER AND I
REMEMBER IT WAS THE LAST NIGHT
AND I WAS SITTING ON THE PORCH,
AND I HEAR THIS BLOOD CURDLING
SCREAM, AND SHE SAW A SPIDER AND
I WAS LIKE, OKAY, I TOOK IT TOO
FAR.
COME ON, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
I WALK IN THE BEDROOM THAT I'M
SHARING WITH MY DAUGHTER AND MY
PARTNER IS IN ANOTHER ROOM WITH
MY SON.
AND ON THE WALL, I'M NOT JOKING
IS A TARANTULA SIDE SPIDER ABOVE
MY BED WHERE WE HAVE BEEN
SLEEPING EVERY NIGHT.
>> Jimmy: WOW.
>> I'M LIKE, THAT IS A MASSIVE
SPIDER.
WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE.
SO, OBVIOUSLY I GET SHANNON, MY
PARTNER TO COME IN AND TAKE IT
OUT WHILE WE ALL RAN AWAY.
>> Jimmy: REALLY?
WAIT A MINUTE, HOW DOES THAT
WORK EXACTLY?
>> SHE KNOWS ME BETTER THAN
ANYBODY.
>> Jimmy: SHE GOT A TARANTULA
OUT OF THE ROOM.
?
>> YEAH, SHE JUST PUTS IT
TOGETHER, SHE IS LIKE, YOU GUYS
ARE RIDICULOUS.
I SAID TO MY DAUGHTER, WE ARE
GOING TO AUNTIE JELLIES FOR
THANKSGIVING AND SHE IS LIKE,
I'M NOT GOING THERE.
AND I WAS LIKE, IS IT ABOUT THE
SPIDER?
AND SHE WAS LIKE, I'M NOT GOING
THERE.
AND I GO, UM, LISTEN, EVERY
NIGHT BEFORE WE GO TO BED, I
WILL PULL THE BED OUT, WE WILL
GO THROUGH EVERY DRAWER.
I WAS TRYING TO BE COOL.
IF MY DAUGHTER WAS NOT THERE.
I WOULD BE DOING IT ANYWAY.
I WOULD BE PULLING THE BED UP.
I WAS CHECKING, I WAS TRYING TO
BE LIKE, LISTEN, IT'S
RIDICULOUS.
I CANNOT ACT THIS WAY ABOUT
SPIDERS.
>> Jimmy: DON'T WORRY, IF YOU
HEAR DADDY SCREAMING AND WETTING
HIMSELF, THEN YOU WILL KNOW
THERE'S A SPIDER IN THE ROOM AND
YOU SHOULD RUN.
>> EXACTLY.
IT'S TRUE.
TAKE YOUR CUE FROM ME, HONEY.
OKAY.
>> Jimmy: HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT
IMMERSING YOURSELF IN SPIDERS.
WOULD YOU PLAY SPIDERMAN IF THEY
WANTED YOU TO?
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S FUNNY.
I HAD A LOT OF WEIRD RUN‐INS
WITH SPIDERS.
OUT OF NOWHERE, I HAVE ALMOST
SAT ON A RED BACK SPIDER.
I SLEPT UNDER A BUSH OF
TARANTUALS IN AUSTRALIA.
AND ONCE IN URUGUAY, A SPIDER
FLIPPED SOMETHING ON ME AND GAVE
ME A SWOLLEN EYE.
>> Jimmy: YOU ARE BEING CHASED
BY SPIDERS.
>> SPIDERS PLAGUE MY LIFE.
>> Jimmy: YOU HAVE SPIDERS AND
TICKS.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, THE SHOW
IS GREAT, IT'S CALLS "FARGO,"
SEASON FOUR.
THANKS, JACK, WE WILL BE RIGHT
BACK WITH JEWEL.
>> MUSIC ON "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"
IS PRESENTED BY CROWN ROYAL, WHO
IS HELPING SUPPORT BARS, CLUBS
AND STAGES IN DANGER OF BEING
LOST FOREVER. VISIT
"MAINSTREETALLIANCE.ORG" TO
LEARN MORE.
I WANT TO THANK AMY ADAMS AND
JACK HUSTON, APOLOGIES TO
MATT DAMON.
WE RAN OUT OF TIME FOR HIM.
"NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT BUT FIRST,
CELEBRATING THE 25th ANNIVERSARY
OF HER ALBUM, "PIECES OF YOU"
WITH THIS BOX SET.
FROM THE SHERIDAN OPERA HOUSE IN
TELLURIDE, COLORADO, JEWEL!
♪
♪ PEOPLE LIVIN' THEIR LIVES FOR
YOU ON TV THEY SAY THEY'RE
BETTER ♪
♪ THAN YOU AND YOU AGREE HE SAYS
"HOLD MY CALLS FROM BEHIND
THOSE ♪
♪ COLD BRICK WALLS" SAYS "COME
HERE BOYS THERE AIN'T NOTHING ♪
♪ FOR FREE" ANOTHER DOCTOR'S
BILL A LAWYER'S BILL ♪
♪ ANOTHER CUTE CHEAP THRILL YOU
KNOW YOU LOVE HIM IF YOU PUT IN
YOUR WILL ♪
♪ BUT WHO WILL SAVE YOUR SOULS
WHEN IT COMES ♪
♪ TO THE FLOWERS?
WHO, WHO WILL SAVE YOUR SOULS ♪
♪ AFTER THOSE LIES THAT YOU
TOLD, BOY?
AND WHO WILL ♪
♪ SAVE YOUR SOULS IF YOU WON'T
SAVE YOUR OWN? ♪
♪ LA DA DE DA DE DA LA DA DA DA
DA ♪
♪ NOW SOME ARE WALKING, SOME ARE
TALKING, SOME ARE STALKING THE
KILL.
YOU HAVE THE SO‐CALLED SOCIAL
SECURITY, BUT THAT DON'T PAY
YOUR BILLS BECAUSE THERE'S
ADDICTIONS TO FEED AND MOUTHS TO
PAY ♪
♪ BARGAIN WITH THE DEVIL SO YOU
ARE OKAY TODAY ♪
♪ TAKE THAT MONEY BE AND RUN
♪ ONE OF THOSE THINGS THOSE
STRINGS, THOSE RINGS, THOSE
STRINGS ♪
♪
♪ THE COPS WANT SOMEONE TO BUST
DOWN ON ORLEANS AVENUE ♪
♪ WHO WILL SAVE YOUR SOULS WHEN
IT COMES TO THE MEMORIES ♪
♪
♪ SAVE YOUR SOUL AFTER ALL OF
THOSE LIES YOU TOLD ♪
♪ WHO IS SAFE
♪ SAVE YOUR SOUL
♪ IF YOU WON'T SAVE YOUR OWN
♪