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>>> jimmy, thank you for
everything, jimmy.

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Thank you for everything, and I
was recently honored to receive

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00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:19,918
the coalition's endorsement, and
I want to thank you, you're

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really amazing.
Thank you.

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And a tough guy and a good guy.
>> dicky: From hollywood, it's

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00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:27,226
"jimmy kimmel live."
tonight,

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00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:31,296
taraji p. Henson.
Luke combs.

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And music from
nathaniel rateliff.

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And now jimmy kimmel!
>> jimmy: Hi, everyone, thank

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you.
I'm jimmy.

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I'm the host,
thank you for watching.

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I tell you what,
it took almost the whole four

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years, but donald trump finally
got a massive crowd to cheer him

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outside the white house.
Congratulations to him.

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What a weekend.
People were dancing in the

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streets like ewoks after they
blew up the death star.

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Darth tax evader has been
toppled.

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And america responded with a
dance party.

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♪
♪ young man, there's no need to

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feel down ♪
♪ I said young man, pick

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yourself off the ground ♪
♪ I said young man, because

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you're in a new town ♪
♪ there's no need to be unhappy,

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it's fun to stay at the ymca ♪
♪ it's fun to stay at the ymca,

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they have everything for young ♪
♪ men to enjoy, you can hang out

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with all the boys ♪
♪ it's fun to stay at the

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ymca ♪
>> jimmy: That's right, you

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think she has any idea what the
ymca is?

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Only 71 more days, melania, then
this scene outside the white

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house on Saturday, where a
reporter from fox news got a

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fresh whiff of victory.
>> reporter: We haven't seen the

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violence or anger we saw in June
on black lives matter plaza,

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might have something to do with
the fact there's pungent smell

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of marijuana here.
>> jimmy: That's right,

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weed can overcome.
There were celebrations all

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across the country which is
unusual.

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This doesn't typically happen
after an election, but this one

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was different.
>> having a competent

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administration won't make the
coronavirus better in many, many

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communities, you'll have better
unity in terms of messaging --

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>> jimmy: Go back, look right
there, senator

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john mccain, returned from the
great beyond to celebrate!

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Isn't that something?
>> fantastic.

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>> jimmy: Donald trump is not
accepting

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the results of the election.
But joe biden is getting

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congratulatory calls from former
presidents, world leaders, and

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even his own vp, kamala harris,
who we slowed down to half speed

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for the first of -- who knows?
What could be many editions of

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"drunk kamala harris."
♪

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>> we did it!
We did it, joe!

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You're going to be the next
president of the united states.

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♪
>> jimmy: Trump may be going,

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but we still
have a show to do.

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Joe biden may be the oldest
president ever elected, but he's

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also the president with the
youngest teeth.

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On Saturday, the president-elect
reached out to those who didn't

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vote for him.
He said it's time to stop the

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harsh rhetoric.
To lower the temperature.

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To see each other again.
To listen to each other again.

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He said we must stop treating
each other like enemies.

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We are not enemies.
We are americans.

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Which is a nice sentiment.
And refreshing to hear.

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But I'm not sure joe understands
what he's up against.

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The likes of slimy
yellevangelist,

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kenneth copeland, who gave a
sermon yesterday that would make

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jesus barf up a loaf and a fish.
>> the media said what?

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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, the
media said joe biden's president

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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
woo!

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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
>> jimmy: Well if they don't

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have covid now, I guess there's
no way to get it.

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That doesn't seem
completely demonic at all!

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The preacher with three private
jets?

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Laughing in tongues?
Meanwhile, our out of touch with

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reality-host is not letting go.
He is both melting and

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doubling down on his claim that
the election was stolen from

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him.
On Saturday morning, the

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prisoner-elect wrote, "I won
this election by a lot."

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which was funny.
And then, about an hour later,

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all the major news networks
called the election for biden.

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Trump was not watching tv for a
change.

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When it happened, he was out
playing golf.

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There he is, unhappy gilmore.
Making the deepest divots of his

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life.
Team trump is not cooperating

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with the biden team.
Not only is the administration

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holding up the transition, they
are getting all the sycophants

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on board to question the
integrity of the election.

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Of course, they aren't
questioning the results of the

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races in the house and senate.
I wonder why that is?

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Why would the democrats have
cheated and stolen the

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presidency, but given up the
senate and house seats on the

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same "illegal" ballots?
Is it like when you cheat on a

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test, but purposely get a few
wrong just to throw the teacher

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off the scent?
Are we supposed to believe

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there's a universe where
nancy pelosi could have sent

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mitch mcconnell back to the
exotic pet store he came from,

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and she chose not to?
Some trump supporters took to

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twitter to say things like, "if
you don't include california,

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donald trump won the popular
vote."

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right.
And if you don't count the

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murders, ted bundy was a pretty
good guy.

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One advisor for the
trump campaign said the word

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"concede" is not in their
vocabulary.

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Along with a lot of words.
And listen, I get that this is

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hard for donald trump.
Processing this loss is going to

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take time.
I mean, this is the first time

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he's ever failed at anything
besides trump casinos,

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his airlines, mortgage,
trump steaks, trump university,

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trump magazine, and donald jr.
Eric, et cetera.

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They keep saying "give him
time."

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and we will give him time.
He has until January 19th.

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Then he's out.
Time's up.

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On the 20th.
If trump really does refuse to

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leave the white house, they
should just rename it "vietnam."

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he'll get out of it immediately.
He's not going to win this,

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even he knows that, but he also
cannot admit he lost, because

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he's a poorly-raised little
monster who was born a

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millionaire.
Every other losing candidate for

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president found it within
themselves to concede, and to

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remind our dear leader of that,
we combed through concession

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speeches of the past, from
which, perhaps he will find some

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inspiration.
Please don't hang his portrait

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>> our entire administration
will work closely with his team

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to ensure the smooth transition
of power.

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>> the president is my opponent,
not my enemy, I wish him well

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and pledge my support.
>> what remains of partisan

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rhetoric must be put aside, god
bless his stewardship of this

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country.
>> I pledge to do my part to

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bridge the partisan divide.
>> whether they supported me or

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president obama, I wish god
speed to former opponent who

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will be my president.
>> nation chose another leader

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so we join with us to pray for
him and this great nation.

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>> we must accept this result
and then look to the future.

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Donald trump is going to be our
president, we owe him an open

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mind and the chance to lead.
>> if you count the legal votes,

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I easily win.
If you count the illegal votes,

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they can try to steal the
election from us, if you count

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the votes that came in late.
We're looking at them very

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strongly.
>> jimmy: Please don't hang his

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portrait
in the white house.

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Just smash a mango on the wall
instead.

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Put his name under it.
So far trumpland's bigly idea

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for how to prove there was voter
fraud is to set up a hotline.

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Where you could call in and
report shenanigans.

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Sadly, that hotline was
immediately flooded with prank

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calls.
Which is a shame.

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And no one was more outraged
than the president's fourth

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favorite son, eric.
Who tweeted, "the @dnc is

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spamming our voter fraud hotline
to bog down thousands of

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complaints we are receiving!
Wonder what they have to hide?"

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good question, eric.
This is the hotline number.

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(888) 503-3526.
And folks, please, for the love

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of eric, do not call this number
and claim to have discovered a

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shoebox full of mail-in ballots
with the name bob abooey on

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them.
Again, the number not to call

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is, (888) 503-3526.
Keep it and especially don't

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share it with people on tiktok,
because, what?

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Oh no.
Too late.

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00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:10,208
>> how can I help you?
>> do you know what's going on?

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>> what's going on sir?
♪ what's going on ♪

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>> what was the voter fraud you
witnessed?

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>> people literally spreading
poop all over their ballots.

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>> we feel.
♪ downtrod, downtrod ♪

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>> so fast.
>> I was in line and there was

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this guy there, I don't know
this is considered fraud or

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anything, but he was challenging
to a fiddle competition.

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>> trump 2028, make america
great again again again.

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>> that is against the law of
our country.

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>> you're one of those liberals,
ain't you?

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>> absolutely not.
>> let me talk to your manager.

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>> trump national warroom.
♪

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>> jimmy: Tok them up!
This was not a prank.

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Or maybe it was.
I think it may have been.

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Did you hear about that little
four seasons mix-up?

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This is good,
so on Saturday, the president

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tweeted, "lawyers press
conference at

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four seasons, philadelphia.
11:00 a.M."

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then ten minutes later, he
replaced that tweet with this

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one, "big press conference today
in philadelphia at four seasons

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total landscaping 11:30am!"
four seasons total landscaping

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is a landscaping company in
philadelphia.

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They do yards and
for reasons that are still

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unknown, they had rudy giuliani
making a speech from there.

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And this visual should tell you
all you need to know about how

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it's going, okay?
A big ugly garage door.

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Cement wall.
A garden hose.

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An adult novelty shop right next
door.

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With booths and everything.
This is rudy giuliani at his

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00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:11,863
rudiest.
The former mayor made a grand

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entrance at the landscaping
place, he had some words to say,

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and after he said them, he made
a swift exit.

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This is the second-most
embarrassing thing to happen to

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rudy this month.
He somehow managed to out-borat

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himself.
>> I know this city has a sad

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history of voter fraud.
After all, joe frazier is still

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00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,760
voting here.
Kind of hard since he died five

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years ago, but joe continues to
vote.

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If I recall correctly, joe was a
republican, so maybe I shouldn't

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complain.
But we should see if joe is

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voting democrat or republican
now from the grave.

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Also will smith's father has
voted here twice since he died.

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00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:06,351
>> jimmy:
Go lay down in your coffin and

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00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,619
close the lid, re-count dracula.
So there you go.

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Trump's run for president began
on a golden escalator and ended

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00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:11,656
in an alley, next to a dildo
store.

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00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:13,925
Say what you want about them,
they know how to bookend a

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00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,195
story.
The even bigger news, pfizer

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00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:20,865
today announced they have been
working on a vaccine that is

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more than 90% effective in
preventing the coronavirus.

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00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:26,838
That's right, the makers of
viagra figured out how to give

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everyone a boner again.
Thanks.

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00:13:30,544 --> 00:13:32,110
The ceo of pfizer said the
timing of the announcement

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00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,679
coming after the election had
nothing to do with politics.

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But they did name the vaccine
"joebidenol."

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00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:46,591
they are hoping to have
15-20 million doses of the

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00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,459
vaccine available and approved
by the end of the year.

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00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:51,262
That is great news.
I never thought I'd be rooting

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00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:52,897
for a big pharmaceutical
company.

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00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:54,432
But I also never thought I'd be
rubbing purell on my vegetables.

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00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:55,500
They'd better get a batch of
those vaccines to the

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white house.
Because there is a new, new

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00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:05,143
outbreak in the west wing.
At least five more staffers have

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00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:06,311
tested positive, including
trump's chief of staff,

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00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,779
mark meadows, who was seen
maskless with djtj at trump's

225
00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:10,248
post-election party Tuesday
night.

226
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:14,219
And you know who else tested
positive?

227
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:17,622
Our favorite,
dr. Ben carson.

228
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:22,794
Was at the white house that
night and now has the virus.

229
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:27,232
He, by the way, is on
the coronavirus task force.

230
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:31,502
He does usually wear a mask.
I

231
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,571
the problem is it's this one.
Carson's spokesperson said ben

232
00:14:33,607 --> 00:14:34,505
"is in good spirits and feels
fortunate to have access to

233
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:35,640
effective therapeutics."
I'm glad he does.

234
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,976
Donald trump has two black
friends, he gave them both

235
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:42,380
covid.
It makes sense that no one in

236
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:44,482
the white house wears a mask, I
would want to die if I worked

237
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,684
there too.
Joe biden today unveiled his new

238
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:54,792
coronavirus task force.
He is planning to spend

239
00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:55,860
his first days in office issuing
executive orders to try to undo

240
00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:56,928
some of the damage.
Basically, biden is going to fly

241
00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:59,063
around the earth
counter-clockwise like superman,

242
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:03,301
and reverse everything trump
did.

243
00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:05,136
There is a lot to untangle.
And we still have more than two

244
00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:06,537
months to go.
There have been so many

245
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,240
"moments" over the last four
years, it's hard to remember

246
00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:10,475
even a tenth of it.
So much incompetence, so many

247
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:14,679
lies, one day there will be a
ten-part miniseries about it on

248
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:17,348
hbo, but in the meantime, there
is a way to immortalize the many

249
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:21,085
mistruths and mishaps while also
filling your china cabinet with

250
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:24,289
a historic heirloom that can be
handed down from generation to

251
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:31,195
generation.
>> this is an important

252
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:35,333
announcement, president trump
has topped more than 20,000 lies

253
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:41,773
in office.
>> frankly, we did win this

254
00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:43,274
election.
>> now celebrate his historic

255
00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:51,382
achievement, with the trump lies
commemorative plate collection.

256
00:15:51,418 --> 00:16:00,191
Elegant plates inscribed with
the most memorable falsehoods.

257
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:05,863
Constructed in china but marked
made in the usa.

258
00:16:05,899 --> 00:16:10,668
Receive a prevarication every
day every month for rest of your

259
00:16:10,704 --> 00:16:13,237
time on earth.
So many lies, so many plates and

260
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,907
you'll have to make room for all
of them.

261
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:19,978
Boxes and boxes full of precious
lies stacked up high.

262
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:24,182
Satisfaction guaranteed.
Cancel any time but we'll keep

263
00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:28,219
stuffing your house with lying
plates until we have every

264
00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:32,924
nickel, and your home.
>> holy [ bleep ] that's a lot

265
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:36,427
of plates.
>> the donald trump

266
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:39,230
commemorative plate collection,
make america plate again.

267
00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:43,434
>> look at all these [ bleep ]
plates.

268
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:45,837
>> no habla espanol.
>> jimmy:

269
00:16:45,872 --> 00:16:47,472
We have a good show for you
tonight.

270
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,941
Luke combs is with us, we've got
music from nathaniel rateliff,

271
00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:50,408
and we'll be right back with
taraji p. Henson.

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00:16:56,850 --> 00:17:02,186
♪
>> jimmy: Welcome back.

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00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:08,893
Tonight, country music superstar
luke combs will join us.

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00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:10,495
Then, after luke, his album is
called "and it's still

275
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:15,933
all right" music from
nathaniel rateliff.

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00:17:15,969 --> 00:17:17,035
Terrific.
We've got new shows this week

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00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:24,108
with gillian anderson, dr. Phil,
john king from cnn,

278
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:27,812
emmanuel acho, ellen pompeo,
and music from ty dolla sign,

279
00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:30,648
maren morris, and
chris stapleton.

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00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:34,152
Please join us for all of that.
Now that the presidential race

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00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:36,120
is mostly decided, we turn our
attention to other competitions

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00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:37,989
of note.
On November 22nd, our first

283
00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:40,491
guest will host the
american music awards here on

284
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:46,664
abc.
Please welcome taraji p. Henson.

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00:17:46,699 --> 00:18:02,914
♪
[ cheers and applause ]

286
00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:05,083
>> in the house!
>> jimmy: How are you?

287
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:09,020
Welcome.
I like your hair.

288
00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:12,657
Your hair looks great.
>> thank you.

289
00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:16,027
>> jimmy: Is that permanent?
>> it's a wig, trade-off, you

290
00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:18,463
like it?
>> jimmy: I do.

291
00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:23,034
>> you want to be peg bundy next
Halloween?

292
00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:25,570
>> jimmy: It is peg bundy, isn't
it?

293
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:30,541
Welcome, it's good to have you
here.

294
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:33,111
Ha
happy belated birthday, you

295
00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:36,247
turned 50 over the summer, I
couldn't believe it.

296
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:40,051
>> I think the nurse was drunk.
>> jimmy: Put the wrong year.

297
00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:44,188
I know, whatever you're very
youthful.

298
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:47,291
When you were 12 did people
think you were 4?

299
00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:54,098
>> that's funny, but I was 26
playing 16 here in hollywood.

300
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:59,904
I was a fully grown woman and
they were children.

301
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:03,641
>> jimmy: The other actors?
That's funny.

302
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:09,046
>> and I was the -- we would
have a break in between scenes,

303
00:19:09,082 --> 00:19:14,719
looking around, run out to my
trailer get my cigarettes and be

304
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:18,389
smoking like, taraji, we're
ready, get away from me kid,

305
00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:21,959
I'll be in there in a minute.
>> jimmy: That is funny.

306
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:25,696
You're hosting the american
music awards.

307
00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:28,299
That's a big deal.
Are you looking forward to it?

308
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:32,803
>> I am so excited.
I mean it's bitter sweet because

309
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:38,109
I'm a theater actress, trained
in theater, love a live

310
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:40,645
audience.
But you know, obviously because

311
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:44,815
of covid, that bitch.
>> jimmy: Right.

312
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,417
>> no one can go outside and
play.

313
00:19:46,452 --> 00:19:49,453
We're all punished.
>> jimmy: Had you agreed to host

314
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:54,659
it before covid hit?
>> actually no, happened after.

315
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,595
>> jimmy: You knew what you were
getting into.

316
00:19:57,630 --> 00:20:00,932
>> I knew what I was getting
into.

317
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:03,201
At this point I'll do anything
to get out of the house.

318
00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:05,937
>> jimmy: Will the bands be with
us playing?

319
00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:09,607
>> yes.
>> jimmy: No audience right?

320
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:12,043
>> no audience.
>> jimmy: Like a concert for

321
00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:14,812
you.
>> basically.

322
00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:15,880
>> jimmy: That's great in some
ways.

323
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:22,019
Who is on the bill?
>> you know, they didn't send me

324
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:36,634
everything yet, but not b2k.
>> jimmy: That might be

325
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:43,808
hamburger.
>> the asian group.

326
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:47,411
>> jimmy: Bts.
>> they're great.

327
00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:50,648
>> jimmy: Have enthusiastic
fans, they will be mad you're

328
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:56,220
only one there and you called
them b2k.

329
00:20:56,256 --> 00:21:00,591
>> eat your heart out.
We'll be besties before this is

330
00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:04,996
over.
>> jimmy: Who was your bts as

331
00:21:05,031 --> 00:21:06,497
teenager?
>> new edition.

332
00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:09,100
>> jimmy: Me too.
>> did it for me.

333
00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:14,538
>> jimmy: I won't get into it
but I invented a dance still

334
00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:18,609
done at family weddings to their
song.

335
00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:22,913
>> you have to show it, where's
the deejay?

336
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:32,223
>> jimmy: A little bit of it,
"cool it now," starts like this,

337
00:21:32,258 --> 00:21:35,293
literal interpretation of the
song.

338
00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:39,430
>> looks pretty easy.
>> jimmy: All-time favorite?

339
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:52,276
>> yeah, then boyz ii men came.
They were older.

340
00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:53,611
B
boyz ii men and then becoming a

341
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:58,549
young lady, falling in love and
dating, so we needed more mature

342
00:21:58,584 --> 00:22:02,653
music.
I still made horrible choices.

343
00:22:02,689 --> 00:22:04,989
>> jimmy: You're a prince nut,
too, right?

344
00:22:05,024 --> 00:22:08,526
You talked about meeting him.
>> listen to me, when I was a

345
00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:12,863
teenager, we had -- I was
president of the prince fan

346
00:22:12,899 --> 00:22:14,365
club.
>> jimmy: For real, a real

347
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,702
thing?
>> it was our real thing.

348
00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:21,972
>> jimmy: Name?
>> lavender lovers, loved

349
00:22:22,008 --> 00:22:25,943
everything purple.
We had sweatshirts and I just

350
00:22:25,978 --> 00:22:32,483
got rid of my boombox that I had
lavender lover spray painted

351
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:35,986
like graffiti on the side.
>> jimmy: What did you do with

352
00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:37,054
it?
>> I don't know.

353
00:22:37,090 --> 00:22:41,392
>> jimmy: You threw your
childhood in the garbage?

354
00:22:41,427 --> 00:22:43,594
>> don't make me feel like --
yeah, I did.

355
00:22:43,629 --> 00:22:46,764
>> jimmy: Something else.
Did you see him live?

356
00:22:46,799 --> 00:22:51,802
>> I did see prince live.
Mom and dad both signed off on

357
00:22:51,838 --> 00:22:58,008
me playing hooky, me and my best
friend, her parents to, standing

358
00:22:58,044 --> 00:23:02,046
in line all day and played
hooky, got prince tickets.

359
00:23:02,081 --> 00:23:06,984
>> jimmy: How long was the line?
>> wrapped around the building.

360
00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:11,722
It was at the basketball team
plays in d.C., been so long,

361
00:23:11,758 --> 00:23:16,360
they changed it now.
>> jimmy: Where the wizards

362
00:23:16,396 --> 00:23:17,762
play, you were standing in line
there.

363
00:23:17,797 --> 00:23:22,400
>> wrapped around the building,
stadium, blocks long, and kept

364
00:23:22,435 --> 00:23:25,669
selling out.
We were crying, but he added

365
00:23:25,705 --> 00:23:28,038
another show, emotional roller
coaster.

366
00:23:28,074 --> 00:23:33,944
Finally got up to the front, he
added a show, yay!

367
00:23:33,980 --> 00:23:38,315
He must have added like four
shows while we were standing

368
00:23:38,351 --> 00:23:39,683
there.
>> jimmy: And canceled three of

369
00:23:39,719 --> 00:23:42,319
them later.
>> no, he didn't.

370
00:23:42,355 --> 00:23:46,524
Prince in the younger days.
I didn't say that.

371
00:23:46,559 --> 00:23:51,328
>> jimmy: We're sorry, prince.
We're going to take a break and

372
00:23:51,364 --> 00:23:54,365
then do something interesting if
you don't mind.

373
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:58,502
We collected text message
exchanges from members of the

374
00:23:58,538 --> 00:24:03,374
staff, with family and friends.
Thought might be fun to

375
00:24:03,409 --> 00:24:06,744
dramatize them.
When we come back.

376
00:24:06,779 --> 00:24:10,614
Taraji p. Henson is with us,
hosting the american music

377
00:24:10,650 --> 00:24:13,584
awards.
We'll be right back.

378
00:24:13,619 --> 00:24:16,787
>> dicky: Portions of "jimmy
kimmel live" brought to you by

379
00:24:16,823 --> 00:24:17,588
--
♪

380
00:24:25,097 --> 00:24:29,900
>> jimmy: Welcome back.
We are back with taraji p.

381
00:24:29,936 --> 00:24:32,069
Henson.
Taraji, I mentioned before the

382
00:24:32,104 --> 00:24:37,808
break what we're going to do is
dramatize, act out some text

383
00:24:37,844 --> 00:24:40,711
message exchanges that went on
between our staffers and their

384
00:24:40,746 --> 00:24:44,248
family and friends from the
election, election week.

385
00:24:44,283 --> 00:24:47,485
What were you doing on election
night itself?

386
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:52,022
>> I was actually -- election
night I was watching a movie.

387
00:24:52,058 --> 00:24:59,797
Couldn't watch it.
I had to disengage my anxiety.

388
00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:01,665
>> jimmy: What movie did you
watch?

389
00:25:01,701 --> 00:25:08,372
>> russell crowe, "unhinged."
I was unhinged so I had my

390
00:25:08,407 --> 00:25:16,947
bottle of vod -- I mean my water
bottle and watched "unhinged,"

391
00:25:16,983 --> 00:25:21,085
two friends were glued to the
tube so I would hit them with

392
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,153
eyeball emoji and they would
text me.

393
00:25:23,189 --> 00:25:28,826
>> jimmy: Here's what you missed
and action going on while were

394
00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:32,930
sending eyeball emojis back and
forth,

395
00:25:32,965 --> 00:25:37,735
it's time for election text
theater.

396
00:25:37,770 --> 00:25:40,070
Tuesday night.
Are things bad yet?

397
00:25:40,106 --> 00:25:41,705
>> yup.
[ bleep ]

398
00:25:41,741 --> 00:25:45,142
I don't get it.
>> jimmy: It's gonna be okay

399
00:25:45,177 --> 00:25:46,911
though, right?
>> I don't get it.

400
00:25:46,946 --> 00:25:49,980
I don't know how this is
happening again.

401
00:25:50,016 --> 00:25:51,815
>> jimmy: Nate silver needs to
retire.

402
00:25:51,851 --> 00:25:53,450
I've lost all confidence in what
that nerd says.

403
00:25:53,486 --> 00:26:04,962
>> it's like a nightmare.
>> jimmy: End of exchange.

404
00:26:04,997 --> 00:26:05,696
Thank you.
Wednesday night.

405
00:26:05,731 --> 00:26:07,364
Oh god.
This can't be happening.

406
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:11,101
>> it's not.
>> jimmy: It feels like it is.

407
00:26:11,137 --> 00:26:12,202
>> I don't know why I just took
a shower.

408
00:26:12,238 --> 00:26:18,042
I'm profusely sweating.
>> jimmy: My whole body just

409
00:26:18,077 --> 00:26:21,645
took a violent turn,
diarrhea city.

410
00:26:21,681 --> 00:26:24,582
>> exit polls are worthless.
I'm sending you weed gummies.

411
00:26:24,617 --> 00:26:26,417
>> jimmy: Omg!
Georgia!

412
00:26:26,452 --> 00:26:29,787
>> if we win georgia, I may cry
my eyes out of my head.

413
00:26:29,822 --> 00:26:31,855
>> jimmy: I will put on my nikes
and run to georgia.

414
00:26:31,891 --> 00:26:32,756
Tonight.
With a backpack full of

415
00:26:32,792 --> 00:26:37,728
champagne.
I'll get there sometime before

416
00:26:37,763 --> 00:26:49,173
the inauguration.
>> and scene.

417
00:26:49,208 --> 00:26:50,074
Thursday night.
Just finished class, nice

418
00:26:50,109 --> 00:26:53,243
distraction.
About to dive into cnn and

419
00:26:53,279 --> 00:26:56,714
overpriced cpk order.
Anxiety city is my new place of

420
00:26:56,749 --> 00:27:00,451
residence.
>> jimmy: I'm feeling positive!

421
00:27:00,486 --> 00:27:05,556
I'd like to take a virtual pasta
class.

422
00:27:05,591 --> 00:27:09,627
>> so stressed but was prepared
for this.

423
00:27:09,662 --> 00:27:13,731
Downing roé.
>> jimmy: Lololol.

424
00:27:13,766 --> 00:27:16,367
>> super pissed at kentucky.
Never going there.

425
00:27:16,402 --> 00:27:21,505
>> jimmy: And scene.
Friday night.

426
00:27:21,540 --> 00:27:24,041
So.
On.

427
00:27:24,076 --> 00:27:29,346
Edge.
I'm hopeful but also practicing

428
00:27:29,382 --> 00:27:31,415
the canadian national anthem.
>> these early results are

429
00:27:31,450 --> 00:27:33,851
giving me an ulcer.
Oh, man.

430
00:27:33,886 --> 00:27:36,120
>> jimmy: I know.
It's still totally up in the

431
00:27:36,155 --> 00:27:37,788
air.
>> my brain hurts.

432
00:27:37,823 --> 00:27:40,591
>> jimmy: I'm on my second
mezcal.

433
00:27:40,626 --> 00:27:42,159
>> I had a drink before this
apple cider martini, and now I'm

434
00:27:42,194 --> 00:27:43,027
having a third.
How.

435
00:27:43,062 --> 00:27:45,129
Is.
It.

436
00:27:45,164 --> 00:27:48,232
This close?!?
>> jimmy: I had to take a

437
00:27:48,267 --> 00:27:49,700
flexeril just to fall asleep
last night.

438
00:27:49,735 --> 00:28:01,845
>> and scene.
Saturday morning.

439
00:28:01,881 --> 00:28:06,383
>> jimmy:
They called pennsylvania!

440
00:28:06,419 --> 00:28:07,951
>> he wooonnb
>> jimmy: I feel like I just

441
00:28:07,987 --> 00:28:09,820
lost 245 pounds.
>> it's christmas in my house

442
00:28:09,855 --> 00:28:22,466
bitches.
>> jimmy: And, fin.

443
00:28:22,501 --> 00:28:24,435
Taraji p. Henson hosts
"the american music awards"

444
00:28:24,470 --> 00:28:26,036
live, Sunday, November 22nd at
8:00 here on abc.

445
00:28:26,072 --> 00:28:31,308
We'll be back with luke combs.
Thank you taraji.

446
00:28:31,343 --> 00:28:32,976
>> thank you.
>> dicky: This week on "jimmy

447
00:28:35,114 --> 00:28:42,886
kimmel live," dr. Phil mcgraw,
gillian anderson, ellen pompeo,

448
00:28:42,922 --> 00:28:47,991
john king and emmanuel acho,
plus music.

449
00:28:48,027 --> 00:28:50,627
This week on "jimmy kimmel
live."

450
00:28:57,903 --> 00:29:03,207
♪
>> jimmy: Welcome back.

451
00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:05,776
Music from nathaniel rateliff is
on the way.

452
00:29:05,811 --> 00:29:09,947
Our next guest is a cma and acm
award winning,

453
00:29:09,982 --> 00:29:15,319
multi-platinum-selling country
music superstar who had a better

454
00:29:15,354 --> 00:29:16,854
year than pretty much everyone
else.

455
00:29:16,889 --> 00:29:20,958
His deluxe album,
"what you see ain't

456
00:29:20,993 --> 00:29:22,259
always what you get" is
out now.

457
00:29:22,294 --> 00:29:26,897
Please welcome luke combs.
How are you?

458
00:29:26,932 --> 00:29:32,903
>> good, how about yourself?
>> jimmy: Good, where are you

459
00:29:32,938 --> 00:29:34,972
now?
>> at home, outside of

460
00:29:35,007 --> 00:29:37,341
nashville.
>> jimmy: How are you keeping

461
00:29:37,376 --> 00:29:39,543
busy?
>> writing a lot of songs, got

462
00:29:39,578 --> 00:29:41,445
some chickens, which has been
good.

463
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:46,650
>> jimmy: To raise as pets?
>> no -- well I guess pets.

464
00:29:46,685 --> 00:29:51,021
They give us eggs, you know, pay
the rent a little bit.

465
00:29:51,056 --> 00:29:55,259
>> jimmy: Yeah, right.
Dogs don't give eggs, do they?

466
00:29:55,294 --> 00:30:01,465
>> you get love and compassion
but I can't put those in a

467
00:30:01,500 --> 00:30:03,167
skillet, you know what I'm
saying?

468
00:30:03,202 --> 00:30:08,138
>> jimmy: If a dog were to give
you egg, probably shouldn't eat

469
00:30:08,174 --> 00:30:09,239
it.
How many chickens?

470
00:30:09,275 --> 00:30:14,211
This is right up my alley.
>> seven, soon to be ten.

471
00:30:14,246 --> 00:30:19,483
>> jimmy: Rooster or hens?
>> no rooster.

472
00:30:19,518 --> 00:30:21,251
>> jimmy: Did you know one of
the hens becomes the rooster

473
00:30:21,287 --> 00:30:26,089
when there's no rooster?
>> I was aware, before we got

474
00:30:26,125 --> 00:30:31,695
chickens, looking to get eggs
from somebody, had sign that

475
00:30:31,730 --> 00:30:37,067
said rooster eggs and
father-in-law was able to trick

476
00:30:37,102 --> 00:30:42,873
buddy into asking for the free
rooster eggs, got a kick out of

477
00:30:42,908 --> 00:30:44,942
that.
>> jimmy: You're a big carolina

478
00:30:44,977 --> 00:30:46,977
panthers fan, they're on a roll,
huh?

479
00:30:47,012 --> 00:30:50,180
>> they're trying, almost beat
the chiefs.

480
00:30:50,216 --> 00:30:54,618
Quote/unquote rebuilding year,
but looking good, played hard.

481
00:30:54,653 --> 00:30:56,787
I'm pumped.
>> jimmy: Didn't you make a

482
00:30:56,822 --> 00:31:02,793
weird bet with your friend?
>> bet my band member neil on

483
00:31:02,828 --> 00:31:06,997
the falcons game that I would
have to be vegan three months or

484
00:31:07,032 --> 00:31:10,367
he had to grow hair out three
months.

485
00:31:10,402 --> 00:31:14,104
>> jimmy: What's so bad about
growing your hair out?

486
00:31:14,139 --> 00:31:20,978
>> he shaves his head bald
because he's got the monk style.

487
00:31:21,013 --> 00:31:26,383
We were going to make him grow
hair out three months and not

488
00:31:26,418 --> 00:31:35,058
wear a hat on stage on shows.
Do you remember shows?

489
00:31:35,094 --> 00:31:38,629
>> jimmy: Where humans used to
congregate.

490
00:31:38,664 --> 00:31:41,265
>> we had them back in the olden
days.

491
00:31:41,300 --> 00:31:44,301
>> jimmy: You lost the bet.
>> I did.

492
00:31:44,336 --> 00:31:49,806
45 days I made it.
>> jimmy: 45 days, didn't do

493
00:31:49,842 --> 00:31:53,610
whole three months.
>> okay, I went fishing and

494
00:31:53,646 --> 00:31:59,349
caught some mangrove snapper and
couldn't not eat it.

495
00:31:59,385 --> 00:32:03,253
Too good.
>> jimmy: Did you tell neil the

496
00:32:03,289 --> 00:32:06,690
bet was off?
>> I told neil.

497
00:32:06,725 --> 00:32:10,127
He was not too upset.
I guess he didn't have a choice.

498
00:32:10,162 --> 00:32:16,033
>> jimmy: You got married in the
middle of this all going on.

499
00:32:16,068 --> 00:32:17,067
Congratulations.
Did the pandemic put a little

500
00:32:17,102 --> 00:32:21,038
bit of a pin in the fun?
>> just a little bit, man.

501
00:32:21,073 --> 00:32:25,008
We had to change venues a week
before the wedding, that was

502
00:32:25,044 --> 00:32:26,777
really interesting.
>> jimmy: Why?

503
00:32:26,812 --> 00:32:30,447
Because they closed down?
>> the city where we got

504
00:32:30,482 --> 00:32:34,718
married, they imposed
regulations a week before our

505
00:32:34,753 --> 00:32:41,558
wedding to limit gatherings from
I guess open-ended to -- they

506
00:32:41,593 --> 00:32:46,730
limited to 50 or less.
>> jimmy: That did not work for

507
00:32:46,765 --> 00:32:49,833
you?
>> but we made it work and it

508
00:32:49,868 --> 00:32:50,968
was great.
>> jimmy: Have to kick certain

509
00:32:51,003 --> 00:32:56,340
people out of the wedding?
>> had to cut from 175 to 50.

510
00:32:56,375 --> 00:33:00,243
>> jimmy: Oh, my god, hard
enough to make the seating

511
00:33:00,279 --> 00:33:06,116
chart, then call 125 people and
tell them they didn't make the

512
00:33:06,151 --> 00:33:07,451
cut.
>> but everybody understood.

513
00:33:07,486 --> 00:33:09,653
It relieved a little bit of
pressure.

514
00:33:09,688 --> 00:33:13,223
Lot of people felt they would
let us down if they didn't go,

515
00:33:13,258 --> 00:33:17,861
so it ended up being great.
And everybody we wanted, almost

516
00:33:17,896 --> 00:33:20,464
everybody we wanted there was
there.

517
00:33:20,499 --> 00:33:23,834
It was perfect.
It's really about me and her

518
00:33:23,869 --> 00:33:28,505
being there.
>> jimmy: Did you write your own

519
00:33:28,540 --> 00:33:30,240
vows?
>> we did not write our own

520
00:33:30,275 --> 00:33:33,710
vows.
My wife was worried because I am

521
00:33:33,746 --> 00:33:36,613
a songwriter, mine might have
been --

522
00:33:36,648 --> 00:33:40,050
>> jimmy: If your vow was what
you see ain't always what you

523
00:33:40,085 --> 00:33:45,555
get, might get nervous.
>> yeah, she might not like

524
00:33:45,591 --> 00:33:47,190
that.
>> jimmy: Haven't had a chance

525
00:33:47,226 --> 00:33:51,061
or honeymoon yet?
>> we've had, in a way we've

526
00:33:51,096 --> 00:33:55,399
been hanging out together last
eight months, every day.

527
00:33:55,434 --> 00:33:57,367
That's been really great in a
lot of ways.

528
00:33:57,403 --> 00:34:02,472
We haven't -- that's not
something I got to do a lot last

529
00:34:02,508 --> 00:34:05,842
four or five years.
>> jimmy: Been on the road so

530
00:34:05,878 --> 00:34:07,677
much, right.
>> spend quality time I wanted

531
00:34:07,713 --> 00:34:10,781
with her.
That's been fantastic to have in

532
00:34:10,816 --> 00:34:14,317
the midst -- I try to find
bright spots in the year.

533
00:34:14,353 --> 00:34:19,956
>> jimmy: A bright spot is the
cmas, you're nominated for album

534
00:34:19,992 --> 00:34:22,559
of the year and entertainer of
the year.

535
00:34:22,594 --> 00:34:29,433
Which is as I recall, garth
brooks last year said as he won

536
00:34:29,468 --> 00:34:32,235
one day you're going to win this
award and he's removed himself

537
00:34:32,271 --> 00:34:37,541
from the competition, pulled a
big oprah move and pulled

538
00:34:37,576 --> 00:34:41,378
himself out of the contest,
which is a nice thing to do, I

539
00:34:41,413 --> 00:34:43,080
guess.
Do you know garth?

540
00:34:43,115 --> 00:34:47,717
>> never met garth, actually.
>> jimmy: That's crazy, how is

541
00:34:47,753 --> 00:34:50,554
that possible?
>> we've been as close to in the

542
00:34:50,589 --> 00:34:56,560
same large room of people as
each other, just never happened.

543
00:34:56,595 --> 00:34:58,662
>> jimmy: Were you too nervous
to speak to him?

544
00:34:58,697 --> 00:35:01,998
>> I definitely wasn't just
going to run up to him and

545
00:35:02,034 --> 00:35:06,136
expect him to know who I was,
you know what I mean?

546
00:35:06,171 --> 00:35:10,407
What do you say to a guy.
>> jimmy: Hi, garth, I'm luke.

547
00:35:10,442 --> 00:35:15,045
>> I guess I could.
>> jimmy: I could help you with

548
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:19,049
this, I'm going to broker this
get together.

549
00:35:19,084 --> 00:35:20,350
>> yeah.
>> jimmy: We're going to

550
00:35:20,385 --> 00:35:25,388
dispense with all the
uncomfortableness and I'm sure

551
00:35:25,424 --> 00:35:28,125
you'll hit it off forever and
ever.

552
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:29,359
>> hope so.
Would be cool.

553
00:35:29,394 --> 00:35:33,697
>> jimmy: Congratulations, I
think you have good shot winning

554
00:35:33,732 --> 00:35:36,566
entertainer of the year, album
of the year.

555
00:35:36,602 --> 00:35:37,767
If you could pick one, which do
you want?

556
00:35:37,803 --> 00:35:40,570
>> I don't know, that's loaded
question.

557
00:35:40,606 --> 00:35:45,976
Feel like either one, to me,
that's not a good answer,

558
00:35:46,011 --> 00:35:49,012
totally dodging here.
>> jimmy: It's okay.

559
00:35:49,047 --> 00:35:53,083
>> I'm the guy that's like I
feel like I was never supposed

560
00:35:53,118 --> 00:35:57,387
to make it this far in the sense
of -- I don't know, I can't

561
00:35:57,422 --> 00:36:00,991
believe all the things that have
happened to me have happened to

562
00:36:01,026 --> 00:36:02,359
me.
This is my third time on your

563
00:36:02,394 --> 00:36:03,994
show.
That's insane to me.

564
00:36:04,029 --> 00:36:09,733
So I think just anything like
this is incredible.

565
00:36:09,768 --> 00:36:13,303
>> jimmy: This is a big part of
why people love you, luke.

566
00:36:13,338 --> 00:36:18,208
That's it.
You're a humble gentleman.

567
00:36:18,243 --> 00:36:22,746
Congratulations on everything,
marriage, album, all that stuff.

568
00:36:22,781 --> 00:36:28,151
This is the album, "what you see
ain't always what you get," and

569
00:36:28,187 --> 00:36:29,119
watch the
cma awards this Wednesday, here

570
00:36:29,154 --> 00:36:32,189
on abc.
We'll be right back with music

571
00:36:32,224 --> 00:36:35,125
from nathaniel rateliff.
Thanks luke.

572
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:36,760
>> dicky: The "jimmy kimmel
live" concert

573
00:36:36,795 --> 00:36:38,595
series is presented by
mercedes-benz. The best or

574
00:36:47,639 --> 00:36:50,740
>> the "jimmy kimmel live"
concert series is presented by

575
00:36:50,776 --> 00:36:53,176
mercedes-benz. The best or
nothing.

576
00:36:53,212 --> 00:36:54,311
>> jimmy: I want to thank
taraji p. Henson and luke combs,

577
00:36:54,346 --> 00:36:58,848
apologies to matt damon.
"nightline" is next but first,

578
00:36:58,884 --> 00:37:02,519
his album is called
"and it's still all right."

579
00:37:02,554 --> 00:37:19,636
with the title track here is
nathaniel rateliff!

580
00:37:24,476 --> 00:37:29,913
♪ it ain't all right the
hardness of my head ♪

581
00:37:29,948 --> 00:37:36,152
♪ now close your eyes and spin
around ♪

582
00:37:36,188 --> 00:37:37,954
♪ say hard times you could find
that it ♪

583
00:37:37,990 --> 00:37:50,367
♪ ain't the way that you want
♪ but it's still all right late

584
00:37:50,402 --> 00:37:57,807
at night ♪
♪ do you lay around wondering

585
00:37:57,843 --> 00:38:03,913
♪ counting all the lines it
ain't so funny now ♪

586
00:38:03,949 --> 00:38:06,716
♪ times are hard you get this
far ♪

587
00:38:06,752 --> 00:38:14,457
♪ but it ain't the way that you
want ♪

588
00:38:14,493 --> 00:38:16,526
♪ I'll be damned if this old
man ♪

589
00:38:16,561 --> 00:38:26,670
♪ don't start to counting his
losses ♪

590
00:38:26,705 --> 00:38:36,479
♪ but it's still alright they
say you learn ♪

591
00:38:36,515 --> 00:38:42,052
♪ a lot out there how to scorch
and burn ♪

592
00:38:42,087 --> 00:38:46,389
♪ gonna have to bury your
friends ♪

593
00:38:46,425 --> 00:38:47,557
♪ and then you'll find it get
worse ♪

594
00:38:47,592 --> 00:38:51,828
♪ standing out on the ledge with
no way to get down ♪

595
00:38:51,863 --> 00:38:55,899
♪ start praying for wings to
grow ♪

596
00:38:55,934 --> 00:39:16,186
♪ baby just let go it ain't
alright ♪

597
00:39:31,603 --> 00:39:42,078
♪ you keep spinning out ahead it
was cold outside ♪

598
00:39:42,114 --> 00:39:46,216
♪ when I hit the ground said I
could sleep here ♪

599
00:39:46,251 --> 00:39:50,620
♪ forget all the fear it will
take time to grow ♪

600
00:39:50,655 --> 00:40:02,565
♪ maybe I don't know hey
tonight ♪

601
00:40:02,601 --> 00:40:09,305
♪ if you think about it
remembering all the times ♪

602
00:40:09,341 --> 00:40:13,476
♪ that you pointed out say the
glass is clear ♪

603
00:40:13,512 --> 00:40:26,022
♪ but all this fear starts a
leaving a mark ♪

604
00:40:26,057 --> 00:40:29,259
♪ your idle hands are all that
stands ♪

605
00:40:29,294 --> 00:41:00,156
♪ from your time in the dark but
it's still all right ♪