1
00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,500
(Man) 'Whenever I get gloomy
with the state of the world,

2
00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,700
'I think about the arrivals gate
at Heathrow airport.

3
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:24,600
'General opinion makes out
that we live in a world of hatred and greed

4
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,500
'but I don't see that.

5
00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:29,000
'Seems to me that love is everywhere.

6
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:33,500
'Often it's not particularly dignified
or newsworthy but it's always there.

7
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:37,300
'Fathers and sons, mothers and daughters,
husbands and wives,

8
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:40,400
'boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends.

9
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:42,600
'When the planes hit the Twin Towers,

10
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:47,300
'none of the phone calls from people on
board were messages of hate or revenge,

11
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,800
'they were all messages of love.

12
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:56,100
'lf you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling
you'll find that love actually is all around.'

13
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,600
(Music) I feel it in my fingers

14
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,800
(Music) I feel it in my toes

15
00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:22,500
(Music) Feel it in my toes, yeah

16
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:27,000
(Music) Love is all around me
And so the... (Music)

17
00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:30,100
- (Feedback)
- I'm afraid you did it again, Bill.

18
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:34,400
(Sighs) It's just I know the old version
so well, you know.

19
00:02:34,700 --> 00:02:36,900
Well, we all do.

20
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,300
That's why we're making the new version.

21
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:41,100
Right, OK, let's go.

22
00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:44,100
((Music) Intro begins)

23
00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:47,900
(Music) I feel it in my fingers
(Music) In my fingers

24
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:51,200
(Music) I feel it in my toes

25
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:55,600
(Music) Feel it in my toes, yeah

26
00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:58,300
(Music) Love is all ar... (Music)

27
00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:02,200
Oh, fuck, wank, bugger,
shitting arsehead and hole.

28
00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:06,300
Start again.

29
00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:09,500
((Music) Intro begins)

30
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,700
(Music) I feel it in my fingers
(Music) In my fingers

31
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:17,800
(Music) I feel it in my toes

32
00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:22,400
(Music) Feel it in my toes, yeah

33
00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:26,100
(Music) Christmas is all around me
(Music) All around me

34
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:29,300
(Music) And so the feeling grows

35
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:33,800
(Music) So the feeling grows

36
00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:37,500
(Music) It's written in the wind
(Music) In the wind

37
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:40,200
(Music) It's everywhere I go

38
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:44,800
(Music) Everywhere I go

39
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:48,600
(Music) So if you really love Christmas
(Music) Love Christmas

40
00:03:48,900 --> 00:03:51,400
(Music) Come on and let it snow

41
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,500
(Music) Come on and let it... (Music)

42
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,900
This is shit, isn't it?

43
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,600
Yep, solid gold shit, maestro.

44
00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:26,300
- God, I'm so late.
- It's just round the corner, you'll make it.

45
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,600
You sure you don't mind
me going without you?

46
00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:32,000
No, really. I'm just feeling so rotten.

47
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,800
- I love you.
- I know.

48
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:39,000
I love you even when you're sick
and look disgusting.

49
00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:42,500
I know. Now, go or you will actually miss it.

50
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:44,500
Right.

51
00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:51,700
- Did I mention that I love you?
- Yes, you did. Get out, loser.

52
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,900
Karen, it's me again.

53
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:16,400
I'm sorry, I literally don't have
anybody else to talk to.

54
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,600
Absolutely. Horrible moment, though.
Can I call you back?

55
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,200
Of course.

56
00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:26,100
Doesn't mean I'm not terribly concerned
that your wife just died.

57
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,500
Understood.

58
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,900
Er, bugger off, call me later.

59
00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:36,400
So what's this big news?

60
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:39,100
We've been given our parts
in the nativity play

61
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,000
and I'm the lobster.

62
00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:42,800
- The lobster?
- Yeah.

63
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:46,500
- In the nativity play?
- Yeah. First Lobster.

64
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:50,000
There was more than one lobster present
at the birth of Jesus?

65
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,100
Duh.

66
00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:58,900
Best sandwiches in Britain.

67
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,400
Try my lovely nuts?

68
00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:07,500
Beautiful muffin for a beautiful lady.

69
00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:13,000
Morning, my future wife.

70
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,500
(Man) OK, you can stop there. Thanks.

71
00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:36,000
(2nd man) I need a couple of orange gels.

72
00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:39,400
By the way, he introduced me as John
but everyone calls me Jack.

73
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:42,700
Oh, fine. Nice to meet you, Jack.

74
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:44,900
He got me right, though. I'm just Judy.

75
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,500
Great, Just Judy!

76
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,200
- No surprises?
- No surprises.

77
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,800
- Not like the stag night?
- Unlike the stag night.

78
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:02,500
- You admit the prostitutes were a mistake?
- I do.

79
00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:06,100
And it would've been much better
if they'd not turned out to be men?

80
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,300
That is true.

81
00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:12,700
Good luck, kiddo.

82
00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:27,200
(Cheering, applause)

83
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,800
(Press shouting) Prime Minister, over here!

84
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,000
(Cheering)

85
00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:52,100
Thank you.

86
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:58,000
- Welcome, Prime Minister.
- Woh! I must work on my wave.

87
00:07:58,300 --> 00:08:00,200
How are you?

88
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:02,400
- How are you feeling?
- Erm...

89
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,700
Cool. Powerful.

90
00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:07,300
Would you like to meet
your household staff?

91
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,200
Yes, I would like that very much indeed.

92
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:13,700
Anything to put off
actually running the country.

93
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,900
- This is Terence. He's in charge.
- Morning, sir.

94
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:20,700
Good morning.
I had an uncle called Terence.

95
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:24,900
Hated him, I think he was a pervert.
But I very much like the look of you.

96
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,200
- This is Pat.
- Hello, Pat.

97
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,800
Good morning, sir. I'm the housekeeper.

98
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,500
Oh, right. I should be easier than the last lot.

99
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,400
No nappies, no teenagers, no scary wife.

100
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:38,300
And this is Natalie. She's new, like you.

101
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:42,000
- Hello, Natalie.
- Hello, David. I mean, sir.

102
00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:44,500
Shit, I can't believe I've just said that.

103
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:48,200
And now I've gone and said "shit".
Twice. I'm so sorry, sir.

104
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,700
You could've said "fuck"
and we'd have been in real trouble.

105
00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:55,600
Thank you, sir. I had a premonition
I was gonna fuck up on my first day.

106
00:08:57,500 --> 00:09:00,300
Oh, piss it!

107
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:05,000
Right, I'll get my things
and then let's fix the country, shall we?

108
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,100
Yeah, I can't see why not.

109
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:22,700
- It's all right.
- Did you see what I did?

110
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:24,800
- Yes, I did.
- I just went "blurh".

111
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,200
- Hello there.
- I'm right over here.

112
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:30,600
Yeah, I'm in here. OK. Good. Thank you.

113
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,700
Ah.

114
00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:34,700
(Clears throat)

115
00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:39,100
Oh, no.

116
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,400
That is so inconvenient.

117
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:46,200
In the presence of God,
Peter and Juliet have given their consent

118
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:50,900
and made their marriage vows
to each other.

119
00:09:51,100 --> 00:09:54,100
They've declared their marriage
by the giving of rings.

120
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:58,200
I therefore proclaim
that they are husband and wife.

121
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,200
((Music) Organ plays Wedding March)

122
00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:07,000
And you resisted
the temptation for surprises.

123
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,300
Yeah, I'm mature now.

124
00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:13,400
((Music) Wedding March becomes
La Marseillaise)

125
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,900
(Chorus) (Music) Love, love, love

126
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,900
(Music) Love, love, love

127
00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:30,500
- (Music) Love, love, love... (Music)
- Did you do this?

128
00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:33,600
Er, no.

129
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:37,800
(Music) Love, love, love, love

130
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:42,900
(Music) There's nothing you can do
that can't be done (Music)

131
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,000
Oh, it...

132
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,900
(Music) There's nothing you can sing
that can't be sung

133
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:53,000
(Music) There's nothing you can say
but you can learn how to play the game

134
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:56,500
(Music) It's easy

135
00:10:57,900 --> 00:11:00,200
(Music) All you need is love

136
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:05,100
(Music) All you need is love

137
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:11,700
(Music) All you need is love, love

138
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,200
(Music) Love is all you need... (Music)

139
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,800
Look, it's Pikey.

140
00:11:30,900 --> 00:11:33,700
Hello! What the hell are you doing here?

141
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,600
Oh, I just popped over
to borrow some old CDs.

142
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,600
- The lady of the house let you in, did she?
- Yeah.

143
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:43,000
- Lovely, obliging girl.
- Yeah.

144
00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:46,500
I thought I'd pop back and see
if she's better. This is good.

145
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:50,800
- Oh.
- Listen, erm, I've been thinking.

146
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:55,300
I think we ought to take Mum out for
her birthday on Friday. What do you think?

147
00:11:55,600 --> 00:12:00,000
- I just feel we've been bad sons this year.
- Sounds fine. A bit boring but fine.

148
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:02,200
(Girlfriend) Hurry up, big boy!

149
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:06,300
I'm naked and I want you at least twice
before Jamie gets home.

150
00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:10,600
(Music and chatter)

151
00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:19,100
(Juliet) I am so happy to see you!

152
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:23,200
- Delicious delicacy?
- Er, no, thanks.

153
00:12:28,900 --> 00:12:31,100
Taste explosion?

154
00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:45,200
- Food?
- No, thanks.

155
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:47,300
Yeah, a bit dodgy, isn't it?

156
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:51,000
Looks like a dead baby's finger. Oooh.

157
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:53,600
Oh. Tastes like it, too.

158
00:12:57,300 --> 00:12:59,300
I'm Colin, by the way.

159
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:01,900
- I'm Nancy.
- Wicked.

160
00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:04,400
- What do you do, Nancy?
- I'm a cook.

161
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,400
- Ever do weddings?
- Yes, I do.

162
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:10,300
- They should've asked you to do this one.
- They did.

163
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:13,900
- God, I wish you hadn't have turned it down.
- I didn't.

164
00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:16,200
(Embarrassed giggle) Right.

165
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:22,200
- I've worked out why I can't find true love.
- Why is that?

166
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,800
English girls. They're stuck up, you see.

167
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:29,600
And I am primarily attractive to girls
who are cooler, game for a laugh.

168
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:33,900
Like American girls.
So I should just go to America!

169
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:37,100
I'd get a girlfriend there instantly.
What do you think?

170
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:39,500
I think it's crap, Colin.

171
00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:41,400
That's where you're wrong.

172
00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:44,400
American girls would dig me
with my cute British accent.

173
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:48,600
- You don't have a cute British accent.
- Yes, I do! I'm going to America.

174
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:52,100
Colin, you're a Ionely, ugly arsehole.
Accept it.

175
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:57,100
Never. I am Colin, God of Sex.
I'm just on the wrong continent, that's all.

176
00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:00,100
Bit of quiet
while we finish the lighting, guys!

177
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:04,900
- The traffic today was just...
- Unbelievable.

178
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,400
Judy, could you take the top off this time?

179
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:11,600
Lighting need to know when we're gonna
see the, erm, nipples and when we're not.

180
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:15,300
Yes, OK. Right.
At least it's nice and warm in here.

181
00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:16,900
Not always the case, is it?

182
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:20,600
I was standing in for Brad Pitt once
on Seven Years In Tibet...

183
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,900
- Yes, yeah.
- Bloody freezing...

184
00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:26,000
Guys, time's tight
and we have to get the actors in.

185
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,300
- Fine.
- I promise I won't look.

186
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:30,300
(Judy laughs)

187
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:35,200
(Director) Right, let's have
another look at that, please.

188
00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:48,600
Can you just put your hands on her breasts?

189
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:51,000
- OK, yeah. Is that all right?
- Yes.

190
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,900
I'll warm them up!

191
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,600
- And massage them, please.
- Right.

192
00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:08,900
It's junction 13 that's just murder, isn't it?
Total gridlock this morning.

193
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:17,900
Jo and I had a lot of time
to prepare for this moment.

194
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,500
Some of her requests,

195
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:26,200
for instance, that I should bring
Claudia Schiffer as my date to the funeral,

196
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:30,100
I was confident she expected me to ignore.

197
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:33,400
But others she was pretty damn clear about.

198
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:38,000
When she first mentioned
what's about to happen,

199
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,800
I said, "Over my dead body."

200
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:44,900
And she said, "No, Daniel, over mine."

201
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:48,100
And as usual, my darling girl...

202
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,200
and Sam's darling mum was right.

203
00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:58,400
So she's going to say her final farewell
to you not through me but,

204
00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:00,700
inevitably,

205
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,000
ever so coolly,

206
00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:08,600
through the immortal genius
of the Bay City Rollers.

207
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:13,000
(On speakers)
(Music) Bye bye baby, baby goodbye

208
00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:17,300
(Music) Goodbye baby, baby bye bye

209
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:19,300
(Music) Bye bye baby

210
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:24,400
(Music) Don't make me cry
(Music) Goodbye baby, baby bye bye

211
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:28,400
(Music) You're the one girl in town I'd marry

212
00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:33,800
(Music) Girl I'd marry you now if I were free

213
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:39,000
(Music) I wish it could be

214
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:43,000
(Music) I could love you but why begin it?

215
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,200
(Music) Cos there ain't any future in it

216
00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:49,800
(Music) She's got me but I'm not free so... (Music)

217
00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:53,600
(From DJ booth)
(Music) Bye bye baby, baby goodbye

218
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:58,300
(Music) Goodbye baby, baby bye bye

219
00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:01,200
(Music) Bye bye baby, don't make me cry

220
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:05,300
(Music) Goodbye baby, baby bye bye

221
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:07,200
(Music) Wish I never had known you... (Music)

222
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,900
Do you love him?

223
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,000
Er, er, what?

224
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:15,800
No, l-I just thought I'd ask bluntly
in case it was the right question

225
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:20,600
and you needed someone to talk to about it
and no one had ever asked you.

226
00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:25,500
No. No. No is the answer. Absolutely not.

227
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:27,700
(Music)... on my finger... (Music)

228
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,700
So that's a no, then?

229
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,900
Yes. Erm...

230
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,400
(Music) Bye bye baby, baby goodbye

231
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,600
(Music) Goodbye baby, baby bye bye... (Music)

232
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:39,500
This DJ, what do you reckon?

233
00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:42,500
- The worst in history?
- Probably.

234
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,000
I think it all hangs on the next song.

235
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:47,100
Now here's one for the lovers.

236
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:51,100
That's quite a few of you,
I shouldn't be surprised and a half.

237
00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:53,500
((Music) S Club Juniors: Puppy Love)

238
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,200
(Music) And they called it... (Music)

239
00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:02,300
- He's done it, it's official.
- Worst DJ in the world.

240
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:06,600
(Music) Oh, I guess they'll never know... (Music)

241
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,100
(Knocks)

242
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:11,900
Sarah's waiting for you.

243
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,500
Oh, yes, of course, erm...

244
00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:18,500
Great, er, good, good.

245
00:18:18,700 --> 00:18:22,700
How are you doing, Mia?
Settling in fine? Learning who to avoid?

246
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,600
Absolutely.

247
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,700
- Harry?
- Sarah,

248
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:35,700
switch off your phone and tell me exactly
how long it is that you've been working here.

249
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:41,600
Two years, seven months,

250
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:44,300
three days and, I suppose, what, two hours?

251
00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:49,300
And how long have you been in love
with Karl, our enigmatic chief designer?

252
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,600
Um...

253
00:18:55,600 --> 00:19:00,400
Two years, seven months, three days
and, I suppose, an hour and 30 minutes.

254
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,300
Thought as much.

255
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,400
- Do you think everybody knows?
- Yes.

256
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,800
- Do you think Karl knows?
- Yes.

257
00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:10,800
Oh, that is... that is bad news.

258
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:16,200
I just thought that maybe the time
had come to do something about it.

259
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:19,800
- Like what?
- Invite him out for a drink

260
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:24,700
then casually mention you'd like to marry
him and have lots of sex and babies.

261
00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:27,200
- You know that?
- Yes.

262
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:30,700
And so does Karl.

263
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,200
Think about it, for all our sakes.

264
00:19:33,300 --> 00:19:35,800
It's Christmas.

265
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,800
Certainly. Excellent. Will do.

266
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,100
Thanks, boss.

267
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,000
- Hi, Sarah.
- Hi, Karl.

268
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:53,400
((Music) On radio: Christmas Is All Around)

269
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:55,500
(Mobile)

270
00:19:57,700 --> 00:20:00,800
Babe. Absolutely, fire away.

271
00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:04,200
Mia, Mia, would you turn that down?

272
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,000
What is that?

273
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,700
That was the Christmas effort
from the once great Billy Mack.

274
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,700
Oh, dear me, how are the mighty fallen.

275
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:20,200
I can safely say that is the worst record
I've heard this century...

276
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:24,600
Oh, and coincidentally,
I believe Billy will be a guest

277
00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:27,400
on my friend Mike's show
in a few minutes' time.

278
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,700
Welcome back, Bill.

279
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,800
Billy, welcome back to the airwaves.

280
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,000
New Christmas single,
cover of Love Is All Around.

281
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:41,300
Except we've changed
the word "love" to "Christmas".

282
00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:44,600
Yes, is that an important message
to you, Bill?

283
00:20:44,900 --> 00:20:47,200
(Snorts) Not really, Mike.

284
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:51,500
Christmas is a time for people
with someone they love in their lives.

285
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:54,200
- And that's not you?
- That's not me, Michael.

286
00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:58,200
When I was young and successful,
I was greedy and foolish

287
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:02,300
and now I'm left with no one,
wrinkled and alone.

288
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:05,200
- Wow. Thanks for that, Bill.
- For what?

289
00:21:05,300 --> 00:21:08,100
For actually giving
a real answer to a question.

290
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:11,800
It doesn't often happen here
at Radio Watford, I can tell you.

291
00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:15,700
- Ask me anything, I'll tell you the truth.
- Best shag you ever had?

292
00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:18,500
- Britney Spears.
- Wow.

293
00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:20,900
No, only kidding! (Snorts)

294
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:23,400
- She was rubbish.
- OK, here's one.

295
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:27,900
How do you think the new record
compares to your old, classic stuff?

296
00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:31,500
Come on, Mikey, you know as well as I do
the record's crap.

297
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:33,400
(Bill laughing)

298
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:36,800
But wouldn't it be great
if number one this Christmas

299
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,200
wasn't some smug teenager

300
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:43,500
but an old ex-heroin addict
searching for a comeback at any price?

301
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:47,200
Those young popsters come Christmas
will be stretched out naked

302
00:21:47,300 --> 00:21:49,900
with a cute bird balancing on their balls

303
00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:53,500
and I'll be stuck in some dingy flat
with me manager Joe,

304
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:55,800
ugliest man in the world,

305
00:21:56,000 --> 00:22:00,200
fucking miserable because
our fucking gamble didn't pay off.

306
00:22:00,500 --> 00:22:05,600
So if you believe in Father Christmas,
children, like your Uncle Billy does,

307
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:09,400
buy my festering turd of a record.

308
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,500
And particularly enjoy
the incredible crassness

309
00:22:12,700 --> 00:22:17,000
of the moment we try to squeeze
an extra syllable into the fourth line.

310
00:22:17,300 --> 00:22:19,500
I think you're referring to

311
00:22:19,500 --> 00:22:21,700
"If you really love Christmas..."

312
00:22:21,900 --> 00:22:25,000
"Come on and let it snow." Ouch.

313
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,200
So, here it is one more time,

314
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,600
the dark horse for this year's
Christmas number one,

315
00:22:30,700 --> 00:22:35,000
Christmas Is All Around.
Thank you, Billy. After this, the news.

316
00:22:35,300 --> 00:22:37,700
Is the new prime minister in trouble already?

317
00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:42,800
(Music) I feel it in my fingers
I feel it in my toes (Music)

318
00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:46,500
- OK. What's next?
- The President's visit.

319
00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:50,700
Ah, yes, yes. I fear this is going to be
a difficult one to play. Alex.

320
00:22:51,900 --> 00:22:56,000
There's a strong feeling in the party
we mustn't allow ourselves to be bullied

321
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,600
- like the last government.
- (AIl) Here, here.

322
00:22:58,900 --> 00:23:02,800
This is our first really important test,
let's take a stand.

323
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:07,500
Right. Right. I understand that
but I have decided...

324
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:11,300
not to. Not this time.

325
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:15,800
Let's not forget that America
is the most powerful country in the world.

326
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,500
I'm not going to act like a petulant child.

327
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:24,100
Who do you have to screw round here
to get a cup of tea and a biscuit?

328
00:23:31,300 --> 00:23:33,100
Right.

329
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:34,900
(Knocking)

330
00:23:34,900 --> 00:23:37,000
Yeah, come in.

331
00:23:41,300 --> 00:23:43,900
- These are from the Treasury...
- Uh-huh.

332
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,000
...and these are for you.

333
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:48,900
Excellent. Thanks a lot.

334
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:53,100
I was hoping you'd win, not that
I wouldn't have been nice to the other bloke,

335
00:23:53,300 --> 00:23:57,100
just always given him the boring biscuits
with no chocolate.

336
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,000
Thanks very much. Thanks...

337
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,900
Natalie.

338
00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:12,100
God, come on, get a grip.
You're the Prime Minister, for God's sake.

339
00:24:14,300 --> 00:24:16,700
So what do you reckon
to our new prime minister?

340
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:21,300
Oh, I like him. I can't understand
why he's not married, though.

341
00:24:21,500 --> 00:24:24,500
You know the type, he's married to his job.

342
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:27,900
Either that or gay as a picnic basket.

343
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,200
Excuse me, Judy, if you could
just lower the nipples

344
00:24:31,300 --> 00:24:33,700
- and cheat them a bit to the left?
- OK.

345
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,700
I have to say, Judy, this is a real pleasure,

346
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:43,400
it's lovely to find someone
I can actually chat to.

347
00:24:43,500 --> 00:24:45,500
- Thank you!
- Oh, well, you know.

348
00:24:45,700 --> 00:24:47,300
- And ditto.
- Thank you.

349
00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:49,800
The move again, please, Judy.

350
00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:52,300
- Ooh, sorry.
- Oh, God, sorry. You all right?

351
00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:58,500
- Exciting news!
- What?

352
00:24:58,700 --> 00:25:01,900
I've bought a ticket to the States.
I'm off in three weeks.

353
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,400
- No.
- Yes!

354
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:07,600
- To a fantastic place called Wisconsin.
- No!

355
00:25:07,700 --> 00:25:11,200
Yes! Wisconsin babes,
here comes Sir Colin!

356
00:25:11,500 --> 00:25:15,500
No, Col! There are a few babes in America,
I grant you,

357
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,400
but they're going out
with rich, attractive guys.

358
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,700
Tone, you're just jealous.

359
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:25,600
You know perfectly well
that any bar anywhere in America

360
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:30,100
contains ten girls more beautiful
and more likely to have sex with me

361
00:25:30,300 --> 00:25:34,800
- than the whole of the United Kingdom.
- That is total bollocks. You're mad.

362
00:25:34,900 --> 00:25:39,700
No, I'm wise. Stateside I am Prince William
without the weird family.

363
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,200
- No, Colin, no!
- Yes!

364
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:43,500
- Nyet!
- Da!

365
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:44,900
- Nein!
- Ja, darling!

366
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:48,600
Right, the Christmas party,
not my favourite night of the year

367
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,100
and your unhappy job to organise.

368
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:54,100
- Tell me.
- It's basic, really.

369
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:57,900
Find a venue, over-order on the drinks,
bulk buy the guacamole

370
00:25:58,100 --> 00:26:02,000
and advise the girls to avoid Kevin
if they want their breasts unfondled.

371
00:26:02,300 --> 00:26:06,600
- Wives and family and stuff?
- Yeah. I mean, not children.

372
00:26:06,700 --> 00:26:10,200
But their wives and girlfriends, et cetera.

373
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:16,000
Oh, Christ, you haven't got some horrible
six-foot, tight-T-shirt-wearing boyfriend?

374
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:20,800
No. I'll just be hanging around the mistletoe,
hoping to be kissed.

375
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,000
Really?

376
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,100
Right.

377
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:40,300
He now spends all the time in his room.
I mean, he'll be up there now.

378
00:26:40,500 --> 00:26:44,000
- That's not unusual. My horrid son...
- Bernard?

379
00:26:44,300 --> 00:26:48,600
Bernard. Stays in his room all the time.
Thank goodness.

380
00:26:48,900 --> 00:26:51,600
Yeah, but Karen, this is all the time.

381
00:26:53,100 --> 00:26:57,100
I'm afraid that there's something
really wrong, you know?

382
00:26:57,300 --> 00:26:59,300
I mean, clearly it's about his mum

383
00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:04,400
but Christ, he might be injecting heroin
into his eyeballs for all I know.

384
00:27:04,700 --> 00:27:06,400
(Karen) At the age of 11?

385
00:27:06,500 --> 00:27:10,600
(Daniel) Well, maybe not his eyeballs, then.
Maybe just his veins.

386
00:27:10,900 --> 00:27:15,100
The problem is his mum
always used to talk to him, you know, and...

387
00:27:16,900 --> 00:27:22,000
I don't know, this whole stepfather thing
seems suddenly to somehow matter

388
00:27:22,300 --> 00:27:24,500
like it never did before.

389
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:29,200
Listen, it was always going to be
a totally shit time.

390
00:27:29,500 --> 00:27:31,900
Just be patient.

391
00:27:32,100 --> 00:27:34,400
And maybe check the room for needles.

392
00:27:34,500 --> 00:27:39,300
And then when he sometimes does
come out, it's obvious he's been crying.

393
00:27:48,700 --> 00:27:52,100
It's just such a ridiculous waste.

394
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:55,500
And now if it's going to ruin
Sam's life as well...

395
00:27:56,900 --> 00:27:59,700
I just don't know.

396
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:02,400
Get a grip.

397
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:04,700
People hate sissies.

398
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:08,000
No one's ever gonna shag you
if you cry all the time.

399
00:28:08,100 --> 00:28:11,000
Yeah. Absolutely.

400
00:28:11,100 --> 00:28:13,100
Helpful.

401
00:28:20,900 --> 00:28:24,600
So, what's the problem, Samuel?

402
00:28:26,700 --> 00:28:31,300
Is it just Mum or is it something else, huh?

403
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:34,900
Maybe school?

404
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:38,100
Are you being bullied?

405
00:28:39,300 --> 00:28:41,400
Or is it something worse?

406
00:28:43,300 --> 00:28:45,500
Can you give me any clues at all?

407
00:28:47,100 --> 00:28:50,200
- You really want to know?
- I really want to know.

408
00:28:50,500 --> 00:28:52,900
Even though you won't be able to help?

409
00:28:53,100 --> 00:28:55,600
Even if that's the case, yeah.

410
00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:00,000
OK. Well...

411
00:29:01,300 --> 00:29:04,000
truth is, actually...

412
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,000
I'm in love.

413
00:29:07,100 --> 00:29:08,600
Sorry?

414
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:13,200
I know I should be thinking
about Mum and I am but I'm in love.

415
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:17,500
I was before she died
and there's nothing I can do about it.

416
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:21,700
- Aren't you a bit young to be in love?
- No.

417
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,700
Ah, well. OK, well...

418
00:29:26,700 --> 00:29:29,200
I'm a little relieved.

419
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,500
- Why?
- Because I...

420
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,700
thought it'd be something worse.

421
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,700
Worse than the total agony of being in love?

422
00:29:37,900 --> 00:29:40,500
Er...

423
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,200
No, you're right.

424
00:29:43,300 --> 00:29:45,400
Total agony.

425
00:30:22,500 --> 00:30:24,700
- Night, Sarah.
- Night, Karl.

426
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,200
(Mobile)

427
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:36,600
Yeah, absolutely.

428
00:30:37,900 --> 00:30:40,000
Free as a bird. Fire away.

429
00:31:11,500 --> 00:31:13,600
Alone again.

430
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,700
Naturally.

431
00:31:16,700 --> 00:31:18,800
- I'll deal with it.
- Mm.

432
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:23,500
- Ah. Natalie.
- Sir.

433
00:31:25,500 --> 00:31:27,100
Thanks.

434
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,200
Natalie.

435
00:31:31,500 --> 00:31:34,200
Erm, I'm starting to feel...

436
00:31:35,500 --> 00:31:39,100
uncomfortable about us
working so closely every day

437
00:31:39,300 --> 00:31:43,700
and me knowing so little about you,
it seems elitist and wrong.

438
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,700
Well, there's not much to know.

439
00:31:46,900 --> 00:31:50,300
Well, erm, where do you live, for instance?

440
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,500
Wandsworth. The dodgy end.

441
00:31:52,700 --> 00:31:55,900
- Ah, my sister lives in Wandsworth.
- Oh.

442
00:31:57,300 --> 00:31:59,800
So which exactly is the dodgy end?

443
00:31:59,900 --> 00:32:03,400
At the end of the high street,
Harris Street, near the Queen's Head.

444
00:32:03,700 --> 00:32:06,400
- Oh, yeah, yeah, that is dodgy.
- Hm.

445
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:10,700
Erm, and you live
with your husband? Boyfriend?

446
00:32:12,100 --> 00:32:15,000
- Three illegitimate but charming children?
- No.

447
00:32:15,100 --> 00:32:19,600
I've just split up with my boyfriend, so
I'm back with my mum and dad for a while.

448
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:24,000
- Ah. Sorry.
- No, it's fine.

449
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,600
I'm well shot of him.

450
00:32:26,700 --> 00:32:29,400
- He said I was getting fat.
- I beg your pardon?

451
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:33,400
He said no one'd fancy a girl
with thighs the size of tree trunks.

452
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:36,100
Not a nice guy, actually, in the end.

453
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:39,600
No.

454
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:48,800
You know, erm...

455
00:32:49,500 --> 00:32:52,700
being Prime Minister,
I could just have him murdered.

456
00:32:53,900 --> 00:32:56,300
Thank you, sir. I'll think about it.

457
00:32:56,400 --> 00:33:00,200
Do. The SAS are absolutely charming.

458
00:33:00,500 --> 00:33:04,300
Ruthless, trained killers
are just a phone call away.

459
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:12,100
Oh, God.

460
00:33:14,900 --> 00:33:17,200
Did you have this kind of problem?

461
00:33:19,700 --> 00:33:22,200
Yeah, course you did, you saucy minx.

462
00:33:22,300 --> 00:33:25,600
So, let's go. We can definitely crack this.

463
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:27,900
Remember, I was a kid once, too.

464
00:33:28,100 --> 00:33:32,300
So, come on, it's someone at school. Right?

465
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:34,400
- Yeah.
- Uh-huh. Good, good.

466
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:37,500
And what does she, he, feel about you?

467
00:33:37,700 --> 00:33:40,500
SHE doesn't even know my name.

468
00:33:40,700 --> 00:33:43,400
And even if she did, she'd despise me.

469
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:45,900
She's the coolest girl in school.

470
00:33:46,100 --> 00:33:50,000
And everyone worships her
because she's heaven.

471
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,600
Good. Good.

472
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,100
Well,

473
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,800
basically you're fucked, aren't you?

474
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:03,300
((Music) All I Want For Christmas Is You)

475
00:34:05,100 --> 00:34:07,500
Hi there and welcome back.

476
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:11,800
So, three weeks till Christmas, looks like
the real competition is gonna be Blue.

477
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:16,400
I saw them on the show last week.
They weren't very nice about my record.

478
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:18,900
No. Little scamps.

479
00:34:19,100 --> 00:34:22,400
But very, very talented musicians.

480
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:26,800
Yeah. I understand you've got a prize
for our competition winners.

481
00:34:26,900 --> 00:34:28,300
Yes, I have, Ant or Dec.

482
00:34:28,500 --> 00:34:32,400
It's a personalised felt-tip pen.

483
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:34,200
Oh, great.

484
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:37,900
It's brilliant. It even writes on glass,

485
00:34:38,100 --> 00:34:42,700
so if you've got a framed picture,
like, for instance, this one of Blue,

486
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:44,900
you can just write on it.

487
00:34:57,100 --> 00:34:58,700
(Kids snickering)

488
00:34:58,700 --> 00:35:02,500
(Dec) Er, a lot of kids watching, Billy.
(Billy) Oh, yeah.

489
00:35:02,700 --> 00:35:05,500
Hiya, kids.

490
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:08,900
Here's an important message
from your Uncle Bill -

491
00:35:09,100 --> 00:35:11,200
don't buy drugs.

492
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:16,200
Become a pop star
and they give you them for free.

493
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:21,000
And I do believe it's a commercial break.
We'll see you soon. Bye-bye.

494
00:35:21,300 --> 00:35:25,900
(Music) All I want for Christmas is you (Music)

495
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:37,200
- Look at him! Eurh!
- Just a minute.

496
00:35:37,500 --> 00:35:39,900
Actually, they're not funny. They're art.

497
00:35:41,300 --> 00:35:43,400
(Laughing)

498
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:47,200
OK, let's say, er, Thursday, my place.

499
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:51,600
Great. I've got Juliet on the other line,
she wants to ask you a favour.

500
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:56,600
- (Sighing) OK, fine.
- Thanks and, er, be nice.

501
00:35:56,800 --> 00:36:01,800
- I'm always nice.
- 'You know what I mean, Marky, be friendly.'

502
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,300
- I'm always...
- (Juliet) 'Mark? '

503
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:07,300
Hi. How was the honeymoon?

504
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:10,100
It was great.
Thanks for the gorgeous sendoff.

505
00:36:10,300 --> 00:36:13,800
- So, what can I do for you?
- 'It's only a tiny favour.'

506
00:36:13,900 --> 00:36:16,800
I've just tried the wedding video
and it's a disaster.

507
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,900
- 'It's come out all blue and wibbly.'
- I'm sorry.

508
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:23,700
I remember you filming a lot
and I wondered if I could look at it.

509
00:36:23,900 --> 00:36:25,900
To be honest, I didn't really...

510
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:30,600
Please. All I want is one shot of me
in a wedding dress that isn't turquoise.

511
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:35,600
I'll have a look but I'm pretty sure I wiped it,
so don't get any hopes up.

512
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,600
- 'Must go.'
- (Click)

513
00:36:43,300 --> 00:36:46,000
Any progress with our matchmaking plans?

514
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:49,900
No. I've done fuck-all and never will
because he's too good for me.

515
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,200
How true.

516
00:36:53,700 --> 00:36:55,600
- (Sarah) Stop.
- (Mobile)

517
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:57,900
And of course, your mobile goes.

518
00:36:59,100 --> 00:37:01,700
Hello. Hi. How you doing?

519
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,600
- So, how's the Christmas party going?
- Good.

520
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:07,900
Think I've found a venue.

521
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:11,300
- What's it like?
- Good. Good.

522
00:37:11,500 --> 00:37:16,500
It's an art gallery. Full of dark corners
for doing dark deeds.

523
00:37:18,500 --> 00:37:21,700
Oh. Right.

524
00:37:21,900 --> 00:37:25,900
Good. Well, I suppose I should
take a look at it or something.

525
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,200
You should.

526
00:37:36,100 --> 00:37:38,000
(Typewriter clacking)

527
00:37:38,900 --> 00:37:40,900
(Bell tinkles)

528
00:37:47,300 --> 00:37:48,800
Ah, bonjour, Eleonore.

529
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,700
Bonjour, Monsieur Bennett. Welcome back.

530
00:37:51,900 --> 00:37:53,900
And this year you bring a lady guest?

531
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:57,200
No. There's a change of situation. Just me.

532
00:37:57,300 --> 00:38:01,600
- Oh. Am I sad or not sad?
- I think you're not surprised.

533
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:04,500
- And you stay here till Christmas?
- Yeah, yeah.

534
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:09,600
Good. Well, I find you
a perfect lady to clean the house.

535
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,400
This is Aurelia.

536
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:14,500
Ah.

537
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:18,500
- Er, bonjour, Aurelia.
- Bonjour.

538
00:38:18,700 --> 00:38:23,600
(French) Er, je suis, er, très heureux
de vous avoir ici.

539
00:38:24,700 --> 00:38:28,900
Unfortunately, she cannot speak French,
just like you.

540
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:30,900
She's Portuguese.

541
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,500
(Italian) Ah, ah, buongiorno.

542
00:38:33,700 --> 00:38:35,600
Eusebio, er, er...

543
00:38:35,700 --> 00:38:38,000
(Pidgin Spanish) Er, molto bueno...

544
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:44,300
I think she's ten years too young
to remember a footballer called Eusebio.

545
00:38:44,500 --> 00:38:46,800
And "molto bueno" is Spanish.

546
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:48,400
Right.

547
00:38:48,500 --> 00:38:51,200
Anyway, it's nice to meet you and...

548
00:38:51,900 --> 00:38:54,000
Can you drive her home after her work?

549
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:57,900
Oh, absolutely, yes.
Con-Con grande, er, pl-plesura.

550
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,100
Which is what? Turkish?

551
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:09,900
(Pidgin Portuguese) Bello.

552
00:39:11,700 --> 00:39:13,700
Er, bella.

553
00:39:14,900 --> 00:39:17,200
Er, mon-montagno,

554
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:19,300
arvarez...

555
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,800
No, right. Silence is golden.

556
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,100
As the Tremeloes said.

557
00:39:31,100 --> 00:39:32,700
Clever guys,

558
00:39:32,900 --> 00:39:37,900
although I think the original version was
by Frankie Valli And The Four Seasons.

559
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:40,100
Gr-great band.

560
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:42,700
((Music) High-pitched humming:
Silence Is Golden)

561
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:45,100
Oh, shut up.

562
00:39:45,300 --> 00:39:47,600
(Cheering)

563
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,100
(Press) Mr President!

564
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,600
- Over here, sir!
- What will you be talking about?

565
00:40:04,100 --> 00:40:05,700
Mr President, welcome.

566
00:40:05,900 --> 00:40:07,400
It's a pleasure to meet you.

567
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:10,300
Come through.
I'm sorry your wife couldn't make it.

568
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:13,600
So is she. Although she would have been
kind of Ionely.

569
00:40:13,700 --> 00:40:15,700
Yes. Pathetic, isn't it?

570
00:40:15,900 --> 00:40:18,300
Just never been able to tie a girl down.

571
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:21,000
Not sure that politics and dating go together.

572
00:40:21,100 --> 00:40:24,000
Really? I've never found that.

573
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:28,500
Yeah, you're still sickeningly handsome,
whereas I look like my Aunt Mildred.

574
00:40:28,700 --> 00:40:33,200
- Very jealous of your plane, by the way.
- Thank you. We love that thing.

575
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:35,600
Ah, Natalie. Hi.

576
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:38,400
Morning, ma'am. How's your day so far?

577
00:40:38,500 --> 00:40:41,100
- (Natalie giggles)
- Excellent.

578
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:47,600
(Sighs) My goodness,
that's a pretty little son of a bitch.

579
00:40:47,700 --> 00:40:49,700
Did you see those pipes?

580
00:40:49,900 --> 00:40:52,900
Yeah, she's terrific. At her job.

581
00:40:53,100 --> 00:40:57,600
No, absolutely not. We cannot
and will not consult on that either.

582
00:40:57,900 --> 00:40:59,700
That is unexpected.

583
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:02,200
Well, it shouldn't be.

584
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:05,400
The last administration
made it perfectly clear.

585
00:41:05,700 --> 00:41:08,500
We're being consistent with their policies.

586
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,400
With all respect, they were bad policies.

587
00:41:11,500 --> 00:41:14,600
Thanks, Alex. I don't think
we're making progress here.

588
00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:18,500
Let's, erm... move on, shall we?

589
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:24,500
Well, now, that was an interesting day.

590
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:30,100
Sorry if our line was firm but there's
no point in tiptoeing around today,

591
00:41:30,300 --> 00:41:33,000
then just disappointing you for four years.

592
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:36,000
I have plans and I plan to see them through.

593
00:41:36,100 --> 00:41:39,100
Absolutely.
There is one final thing to look at.

594
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:42,400
It's very close to my heart.
Just give me a second.

595
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,100
I'll give you anything you ask for.

596
00:41:45,300 --> 00:41:48,200
As long as it's not something
I don't wanna give.

597
00:41:53,100 --> 00:41:54,700
Hi.

598
00:41:54,900 --> 00:41:56,800
Pathetic.

599
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:21,000
It's great Scotch.

600
00:42:21,100 --> 00:42:24,900
I'II, erm... I'll be going, then.

601
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:28,800
Er, Natalie,

602
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:33,700
I hope to see much more of you
as our countries work toward a better future.

603
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:36,400
Thank you, sir.

604
00:42:52,700 --> 00:42:54,600
Er, yes, Peter.

605
00:42:54,700 --> 00:42:56,900
Mr President, has it been a good visit?

606
00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:00,500
Very satisfactory indeed.

607
00:43:00,700 --> 00:43:03,300
We got what we came for

608
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:06,800
and our special relationship
is still very special.

609
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,400
Prime Minister?

610
00:43:09,500 --> 00:43:13,900
I love that word "relationship".
Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it?

611
00:43:14,100 --> 00:43:17,500
I fear that this has become
a bad relationship.

612
00:43:18,900 --> 00:43:22,800
A relationship based on
the President taking what he wants

613
00:43:23,100 --> 00:43:27,900
and casually ignoring all those things
that really matter to, erm...

614
00:43:30,700 --> 00:43:32,700
Britain.

615
00:43:32,900 --> 00:43:36,900
We may be a small country
but we're a great one, too.

616
00:43:37,100 --> 00:43:40,200
The country of Shakespeare,
Churchill, the Beatles,

617
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:43,500
- Sean Connery, Harry Potter.
- (Laughter)

618
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,500
- David Beckham's right foot.
- (Laughter)

619
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,200
David Beckham's left foot, come to that.

620
00:43:49,500 --> 00:43:53,400
And a friend who bullies us
is no longer a friend.

621
00:43:53,500 --> 00:43:56,600
And since bullies only respond to strength,
from now onward,

622
00:43:56,900 --> 00:44:00,500
I will be prepared to be much stronger.

623
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:03,700
And the President
should be prepared for that.

624
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,700
(Press clamouring)

625
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:15,800
Mr President!

626
00:44:19,900 --> 00:44:21,100
Joe.

627
00:44:22,300 --> 00:44:24,400
It's your sister on line four.

628
00:44:25,900 --> 00:44:30,300
All right. Er, yes, I'm very busy
and important, how can I help you?

629
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:32,500
Have you gone completely insane?

630
00:44:32,700 --> 00:44:36,300
- You can't always be sensible.
- 'You can if you're Prime Minister.'

631
00:44:36,500 --> 00:44:39,200
- It's the Chancellor on the other line.
- It isn't!

632
00:44:39,300 --> 00:44:42,000
- 'I'll call you back.'
- No, you won't!

633
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:49,700
The trouble with being the Prime Minister's
sister is it puts your life into perspective.

634
00:44:49,900 --> 00:44:52,900
What did my brother do today?
He fought for his country.

635
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:57,500
What did I do?
I made a papier-mâché lobster head.

636
00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:00,300
What is this we're listening to?

637
00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:02,600
Joni Mitchell.

638
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:05,500
I can't believe you still listen to Joni Mitchell.

639
00:45:05,700 --> 00:45:09,100
I love her and true love lasts a lifetime.

640
00:45:10,700 --> 00:45:15,500
Joni Mitchell is the woman who taught
your cold English wife how to feel.

641
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:19,800
Did she? Oh, well, that's good,
I must write to her and say thanks.

642
00:45:21,300 --> 00:45:23,500
Which doll for Daisy's friend Emily?

643
00:45:23,700 --> 00:45:27,700
The one that looks like a transvestite
or the one that looks like a dominatrix?

644
00:45:29,100 --> 00:45:32,400
(Female DJ) 'It's almost enough
to make you feel patriotic,

645
00:45:32,700 --> 00:45:36,200
'so here's one
for our arse-kicking prime minister.

646
00:45:36,300 --> 00:45:38,900
'A golden oldie for a golden oldie.'

647
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:41,500
((Music) Pointer Sisters: Jump)
(Music) Hold me

648
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:44,300
(Music) I'll give you all that you need

649
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:48,400
(Music) Wrap your love around me

650
00:45:48,500 --> 00:45:52,100
(Music) You're so excited
I can feel you getting hotter

651
00:45:52,300 --> 00:45:54,000
(Music) Oh baby

652
00:45:54,100 --> 00:45:58,500
(Music) I'll take you down, I'll take you down

653
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:01,100
(Music) Where no one's ever gone before

654
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:03,000
(Music) And if you want more

655
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:07,700
(Music) If you want more, more, more

656
00:46:07,900 --> 00:46:10,600
(Music) Jump for my love

657
00:46:10,700 --> 00:46:12,600
(Music) Jump in

658
00:46:12,700 --> 00:46:14,400
(Music) And feel my touch

659
00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:18,600
(Music) Jump, if you wanna taste
my kisses in the night then

660
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:21,400
(Music) Jump for my love

661
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:26,900
(Music) I'll take you down, I'll take you down

662
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:28,600
(Music) Where no one's ever gone (Music)

663
00:46:28,700 --> 00:46:30,600
- (Music stops)
- Yeah, erm,

664
00:46:30,700 --> 00:46:35,700
Mary, can we move the Japanese
ambassador to four o'clock tomorrow?

665
00:46:35,900 --> 00:46:39,300
- Certainly, sir.
- Terrific. Thanks so much.

666
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,400
Erm. Would you like the last, er?

667
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:51,800
(Portuguese) Thank you very much but no.

668
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,000
If you saw my sister, you'd understand why.

669
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:56,200
That's all right, more for me.

670
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:58,500
(Portuguese)
Just don't go eating it all yourself,

671
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:00,100
you're getting chubbier every day.

672
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:04,500
I'm very lucky I've got a constitution
where I never put on weight.

673
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:06,800
(Phone)

674
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:10,500
- Hello.
- (Ringing continues)

675
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,800
Oop. Sorry.

676
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:22,000
(Ringing continues)

677
00:47:23,300 --> 00:47:24,900
Hello?

678
00:47:40,900 --> 00:47:43,300
- Thank you.
- (Portuguese) Nao!

679
00:47:43,500 --> 00:47:46,600
- Eu peco imensa desculpa.
- Oh, no. Hold on.

680
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:49,300
- God, it's half the book. Oh, no.
- Que desastre.

681
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:52,800
Just leave them, please!
They're not important.

682
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:55,600
They're not worth it!

683
00:47:55,700 --> 00:47:58,600
Stop! Stop.

684
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:01,300
Aa-ahh.

685
00:48:02,500 --> 00:48:04,700
It's all just rubbish.

686
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:08,500
Just leave it.

687
00:48:20,500 --> 00:48:23,600
Oh, God, she's in.

688
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:27,400
And now she'll think I'm a total spaz
if I don't go in too.

689
00:48:28,700 --> 00:48:31,000
(Portuguese) Fuck - it's cold!

690
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:36,800
Fuck - it's freezing! Fuck!

691
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:40,200
(Portuguese) This stuff better be good.

692
00:48:40,900 --> 00:48:43,800
It's not worth it,
this isn't bloody Shakespeare.

693
00:48:43,900 --> 00:48:45,700
(Portuguese) I don't want to drown

694
00:48:45,900 --> 00:48:48,500
saving some shit my grandmother
could have written.

695
00:48:48,700 --> 00:48:50,100
Just stop. Stop.

696
00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:52,900
(Portuguese) What kind of idiot
doesn't make copies?

697
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:54,800
I really must do copies.

698
00:48:56,300 --> 00:48:58,400
There'd better not be eels in here.

699
00:48:58,500 --> 00:49:01,500
(Portuguese) Try not to disturb the eels.

700
00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:03,700
Oh, what the hell is that?

701
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,200
Thank you. Thank you so much.

702
00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:24,000
I know. I'll name
one of the characters after you.

703
00:49:24,300 --> 00:49:28,600
(Portuguese) Maybe you could name
one of the characters after me.

704
00:49:28,900 --> 00:49:31,900
Or give me 50% of the profits.

705
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:35,100
Or I could give you 5% of the profits.

706
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:40,900
(Portuguese) What kind of book is it?

707
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:51,900
- Romance?
- Yes.

708
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,900
It's, erm...
(Imitates horror film sound effects)

709
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:56,200
Ah, er...

710
00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:58,500
(Portuguese) Thriller... crime...

711
00:49:58,700 --> 00:50:02,500
(Portuguese) Sim.
(English) Crime. Crime, murder.

712
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:04,300
(Portuguese) Frightening? (Gasps)

713
00:50:04,500 --> 00:50:07,400
Er, scary? Yes, sometimes scary.

714
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:11,900
And, er, sometimes not.
Mainly scary how bad the writing is.

715
00:50:21,300 --> 00:50:23,700
Mm.

716
00:50:25,700 --> 00:50:29,400
(Portuguese) I'd better get back to work.

717
00:50:29,500 --> 00:50:33,100
- Ah.
- (Portuguese) Later you'll drive me home?

718
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:35,400
Sure.

719
00:50:38,700 --> 00:50:41,600
It's my favourite time of day...

720
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:43,700
driving you.

721
00:50:46,100 --> 00:50:50,500
(Portuguese) It's the saddest part
of my day, leaving you.

722
00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:58,100
Sorry.

723
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:28,800
(TV) 'And coming up
later this morning, it's this guy... '

724
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:33,300
(Music) There's no beginning, there'll be no end

725
00:51:33,500 --> 00:51:37,100
- (Music) Cos on Christmas...
- '... the bad grandad of rock'n'roll,

726
00:51:37,300 --> 00:51:39,800
'here at 10:30. Do not switch off.'

727
00:51:45,900 --> 00:51:47,700
Banoffee pie?

728
00:51:47,900 --> 00:51:49,600
No, thanks.

729
00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:53,000
Thank God. You would've broken my heart
if you'd said yes.

730
00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:56,600
Right, well, lucky you.

731
00:51:56,700 --> 00:52:00,500
- Can I come in?
- Er, yeah, well, I'm a bit busy...

732
00:52:00,700 --> 00:52:05,400
I was just passing and I thought
we might check that video thing out.

733
00:52:05,700 --> 00:52:08,500
I thought I might be able
to swap it for some pie

734
00:52:08,700 --> 00:52:10,900
or maybe Munchies?

735
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:15,200
Actually, I was serious - I don't know
where it is. I'll have a look tonight.

736
00:52:15,500 --> 00:52:18,300
Mark, can I say something?

737
00:52:18,500 --> 00:52:20,500
Yeah.

738
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:24,000
I know you're Peter's best friend

739
00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:29,100
and I know you've never
particularly warmed to me.

740
00:52:29,500 --> 00:52:32,300
Look, don't, don't argue.

741
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:34,700
We've never got friendly.

742
00:52:34,900 --> 00:52:37,300
But I wanted to say, I hope that can change.

743
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:41,400
I'm nice. I really am.
Apart from my terrible taste in pie and...

744
00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:45,400
It would be great if we could be friends.

745
00:52:46,100 --> 00:52:48,000
Absolutely. Absolutely.

746
00:52:51,800 --> 00:52:54,100
Great.

747
00:52:54,300 --> 00:52:57,100
Doesn't mean we'll be able
to find the video, though.

748
00:52:57,300 --> 00:53:01,000
I had a real search when you first called
and couldn't find it so...

749
00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:04,100
This one says
"Peter and Juliet's Wedding".

750
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:06,400
Do you think we might be on the right track?

751
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:11,000
Er, yeah, well... Wow. That-that could be it.

752
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:13,900
- Do you mind if I?
- I've probably taped over it.

753
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:17,000
Almost everything's episodes of West Wing.

754
00:53:18,300 --> 00:53:20,200
Oh.

755
00:53:21,900 --> 00:53:23,900
Oh, bingo.

756
00:53:25,700 --> 00:53:27,700
That's lovely.

757
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:29,800
Well done, you.

758
00:53:31,300 --> 00:53:33,500
Oh, that's gorgeous.

759
00:53:34,900 --> 00:53:38,900
Thank you so much, Mark,
this is exactly what I was hoping for.

760
00:53:46,100 --> 00:53:48,300
I look quite pretty.

761
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:57,700
You've stayed rather close.

762
00:54:51,900 --> 00:54:54,100
They're all of me.

763
00:54:58,200 --> 00:55:01,200
(Mark) Yeah. Yeah.

764
00:55:01,500 --> 00:55:03,400
Yes.

765
00:55:33,700 --> 00:55:35,600
But...

766
00:55:36,700 --> 00:55:38,900
you never talk to me.

767
00:55:41,300 --> 00:55:43,300
You always talk to Peter.

768
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:48,100
You don't like me.

769
00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:51,300
I hope it's useful.

770
00:55:51,500 --> 00:55:54,500
Don't show it around too much.

771
00:55:54,700 --> 00:55:57,800
Needs a bit of editing.

772
00:55:57,900 --> 00:56:01,500
Look, I've got to get to a... lunch.

773
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:03,500
Early lunch.

774
00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:06,500
You can just show yourself out, can't you?

775
00:56:12,300 --> 00:56:16,500
It's a... self-preservation thing, you see.

776
00:56:19,700 --> 00:56:21,700
((Music) Dido: Here With Me)

777
00:56:27,900 --> 00:56:30,800
(Music) Oh I am what I am

778
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:33,800
(Music) I'll do what I want

779
00:56:34,100 --> 00:56:38,700
(Music) But I can't hide

780
00:56:38,900 --> 00:56:41,000
(Music) And I won't go

781
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:44,700
(Music) I won't sleep

782
00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:47,600
(Music) And I can't breathe

783
00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:50,700
(Music) Until you're resting here with me

784
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:53,500
(Music) And I won't leave

785
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:56,300
(Music) And I can't hide

786
00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:59,200
(Music) I cannot be

787
00:56:59,300 --> 00:57:01,800
(Music) Until you're resting here

788
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:04,700
(Music) And I won't go

789
00:57:04,900 --> 00:57:07,600
(Music) And I won't sleep

790
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:10,600
(Music) And I can't breathe

791
00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:15,100
(Music) Until you're resting here with me (Music)

792
00:57:15,300 --> 00:57:18,100
- (Knocking)
- Yeah.

793
00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:23,400
Annie, my darling, my dream, my boat.

794
00:57:24,500 --> 00:57:26,600
Ah...

795
00:57:26,700 --> 00:57:29,200
- Need you to do a favour for me.
- Of course.

796
00:57:29,400 --> 00:57:31,400
Anything for the hero of the hour.

797
00:57:33,300 --> 00:57:36,200
Don't ask me why,
and don't read stuff into this,

798
00:57:36,300 --> 00:57:38,700
it's just a weird personality thing.

799
00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:41,800
But, erm, you know Natalie who works here?

800
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:44,500
The chubby girl?

801
00:57:44,600 --> 00:57:46,600
Ooh, would we call her chubby?

802
00:57:46,600 --> 00:57:51,100
I think there's a pretty sizeable arse there,
yes, sir. Huge thighs.

803
00:57:52,500 --> 00:57:55,400
Yeah. Well, whatever, erm...

804
00:57:56,700 --> 00:58:00,400
I'm sure she's a lovely girl
but I wonder if you could, erm...

805
00:58:03,100 --> 00:58:06,000
redistribute her?

806
00:58:06,100 --> 00:58:08,100
It's done.

807
00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:45,300
Hey, Sammo. Can't sleep?

808
00:58:46,100 --> 00:58:48,200
I got some terrible news today.

809
00:58:48,300 --> 00:58:50,200
Let's have it.

810
00:58:50,400 --> 00:58:53,300
- Joanna's going back to America.
- Your girl's American?

811
00:58:53,500 --> 00:58:55,900
Yes, she's American.

812
00:58:56,100 --> 00:58:58,400
And she's not my girl.

813
00:58:58,500 --> 00:59:02,500
And she's going back to America.
That's the end of my life as I know it.

814
00:59:02,700 --> 00:59:04,800
That is bad news.

815
00:59:06,900 --> 00:59:09,300
Well, we need Kate

816
00:59:09,500 --> 00:59:12,700
and we need Leo, and we need them now.

817
00:59:12,900 --> 00:59:14,700
Come on.

818
00:59:18,400 --> 00:59:20,500
'Hold on. Hold on.

819
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:22,800
'Keep your eyes closed.

820
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:27,300
- 'Do you trust me? '
- 'I trust you.'

821
00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:30,900
- Do you trust me?
- I trust you.

822
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:33,500
- Fool!
- Get off, you big bully.

823
00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:39,200
'AII right, open your eyes.'

824
00:59:42,500 --> 00:59:45,900
You know, Sammy,
I'm sure she's unique and extraordinary

825
00:59:46,100 --> 00:59:49,000
but general wisdom is that in the end,

826
00:59:49,200 --> 00:59:52,500
there isn't just one person for each of us.

827
00:59:53,700 --> 00:59:55,700
There was for Kate and Leo.

828
00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:58,400
There was for you.

829
00:59:58,500 --> 01:00:00,400
And there is for me.

830
01:00:00,500 --> 01:00:02,400
She's the one.

831
01:00:04,200 --> 01:00:07,000
Fair enough. And her name's Joanna?

832
01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:10,200
Yeah, I know. Same as Mum.

833
01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:23,000
- (Knocking)
- Yeah.

834
01:00:26,900 --> 01:00:29,900
- Prime Minister.
- Thank you very much.

835
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:48,000
(Pidgin Portuguese)
Oh. Appolo... Erm, appologia.

836
01:00:48,100 --> 01:00:53,100
Grande, er... grande familio,
grande tradizione de Christmas presents.

837
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:55,400
Stupido.

838
01:01:21,500 --> 01:01:24,100
Well, goodbye.

839
01:01:24,400 --> 01:01:26,400
(Portuguese) Thank you.

840
01:01:29,500 --> 01:01:31,900
Erm, it was, erm...

841
01:01:33,100 --> 01:01:36,000
(Portuguese) I will miss you.

842
01:01:37,400 --> 01:01:40,200
And your very slow typing...

843
01:01:41,500 --> 01:01:44,200
and your very bad driving.

844
01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:37,600
(Car horn)

845
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:49,000
(Music) You know I love Christmas, I always will

846
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:55,000
(Music) My mind's made up, the way that I feel

847
01:02:56,600 --> 01:03:01,000
(Music) There's no beginning, there'll be no end

848
01:03:01,200 --> 01:03:06,100
(Music) Cos on Christmas you can depend (Music)

849
01:03:12,500 --> 01:03:14,500
Daniel!

850
01:03:15,600 --> 01:03:19,500
- I have a plan.
- Thank the Lord. Tell me.

851
01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:22,800
- Well, girls love musicians, don't they?
- Uh-huh.

852
01:03:22,900 --> 01:03:25,800
- Even the weird ones get girlfriends.
- That's right.

853
01:03:25,900 --> 01:03:28,300
Meat Loaf definitely got laid at least once.

854
01:03:28,400 --> 01:03:32,100
For God's sake,
Ringo Starr married a Bond girl.

855
01:03:32,300 --> 01:03:36,200
Whatever. There's this big concert
at the end of term and Joanna's in it.

856
01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:40,100
I thought if I was in the band
and played superbly,

857
01:03:40,300 --> 01:03:43,200
she might fall in love with me.
What do you think?

858
01:03:43,500 --> 01:03:46,300
I think it's brilliant, I think it's stellar.

859
01:03:46,400 --> 01:03:50,200
Apart from the one obvious
tiny little baby little hiccup.

860
01:03:50,300 --> 01:03:53,500
- I don't play a musical instrument?
- Yes, sir.

861
01:03:54,500 --> 01:03:56,500
A tiny, insignificant detail.

862
01:03:56,700 --> 01:03:58,700
(Loud, repetitive snare hits)

863
01:03:59,900 --> 01:04:02,200
((Music) Sugababes: Too Lost In You)
(Music) You look into my eyes

864
01:04:02,300 --> 01:04:04,900
(Music) I go out of my mind

865
01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:06,900
(Music) I can't see anything

866
01:04:07,100 --> 01:04:09,500
(Music) Cos this love's got me blind

867
01:04:09,700 --> 01:04:12,400
(Music) I can't help myself

868
01:04:12,600 --> 01:04:14,200
(Music) I can't break this spell

869
01:04:14,300 --> 01:04:17,900
(Music) I can't even try

870
01:04:19,200 --> 01:04:23,600
(Music) Baby, I'm too lost in you

871
01:04:23,900 --> 01:04:26,000
(Music) Caught in you

872
01:04:26,100 --> 01:04:29,500
(Music) Lost in everything about you

873
01:04:29,600 --> 01:04:33,900
(Music) So deep I can't sleep, I can't... (Music)

874
01:04:34,200 --> 01:04:36,800
I suppose I'd better do the duty round.

875
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:38,900
You're a saint.

876
01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:45,900
(Laughs)

877
01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:48,600
Any chance of a dance with the boss?

878
01:04:49,800 --> 01:04:52,000
Yeah, sure, sure.

879
01:04:52,100 --> 01:04:54,400
As long as your boyfriend doesn't mind.

880
01:04:57,300 --> 01:04:59,200
Not my boyfriend.

881
01:04:59,400 --> 01:05:01,400
(Music) And you're all I see

882
01:05:01,600 --> 01:05:04,000
(Music) And you're all I need

883
01:05:04,200 --> 01:05:06,200
(Music) Help me, baby
(Music) Help me, baby

884
01:05:06,300 --> 01:05:07,700
(Music) Help me, baby

885
01:05:07,900 --> 01:05:13,000
(Music) Oh baby, I'm too lost in you

886
01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:14,400
(Music) Caught in you... (Music)

887
01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:17,000
You're looking very pretty tonight.

888
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:20,900
It's for you.

889
01:05:22,400 --> 01:05:24,400
Sorry?

890
01:05:26,900 --> 01:05:29,100
It's all for you, sir.

891
01:05:31,100 --> 01:05:32,900
(Music) You do

892
01:05:32,900 --> 01:05:35,900
(Music) I'm too lost in you
(Music) Baby, baby

893
01:05:36,200 --> 01:05:40,200
(Music) Baby, I'm too lost in you
(Music) Yeah, yeah

894
01:05:40,400 --> 01:05:42,700
(Music) Caught in you

895
01:05:42,900 --> 01:05:45,900
(Music) Lost in everything about you

896
01:05:46,200 --> 01:05:50,100
(Music) So deep I can't sleep (Music)

897
01:05:51,400 --> 01:05:55,900
'This must be very exciting for you,
fighting for the Christmas number one.

898
01:05:56,100 --> 01:05:59,100
- 'How's it looking so far? '
- 'Very bad indeed.

899
01:05:59,300 --> 01:06:02,300
'Blue are outselling me five to one

900
01:06:02,500 --> 01:06:05,500
'but I'm hoping for a late surge.

901
01:06:05,700 --> 01:06:08,600
'And, if I reach number one,

902
01:06:08,800 --> 01:06:14,500
'I promise to sing a song stark naked
on TV on Christmas Eve.'

903
01:06:15,900 --> 01:06:18,500
- 'Do you mean that? '
- 'Of course I do, Michael.

904
01:06:18,600 --> 01:06:21,600
'Do you want a preview? You old flirt.'

905
01:06:21,700 --> 01:06:24,000
(Parkinson laughing)

906
01:06:25,200 --> 01:06:27,000
'That'll never make number one.'

907
01:06:27,400 --> 01:06:30,300
((Music) Justin Timberlake: Like I Love You)

908
01:06:30,500 --> 01:06:33,800
(Music) And I burn every track
Clipse and J Timberlake... (Music)

909
01:06:33,900 --> 01:06:37,400
I suppose it's his job
to dance with everyone, isn't it?

910
01:06:37,600 --> 01:06:39,800
Some more than others.

911
01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:45,200
Just one dance?

912
01:06:45,300 --> 01:06:48,700
- Before we run out of chances.
- Who, me?

913
01:06:48,800 --> 01:06:52,800
- Unless you just...
- No! No! Good.

914
01:06:53,100 --> 01:06:55,100
Yes. Thanks.

915
01:06:56,700 --> 01:07:00,700
(Music) You're a good girl
And that's what makes me trust you like I do

916
01:07:00,800 --> 01:07:03,400
(Music) Late at night I talk to you

917
01:07:03,500 --> 01:07:05,000
(Music) Hey

918
01:07:05,100 --> 01:07:07,100
(Music) You will know the difference when... (Music)

919
01:07:07,200 --> 01:07:09,400
(Music changes to slow tune)

920
01:07:09,500 --> 01:07:11,700
((Music) Norah Jones: Turn Me On)

921
01:07:15,600 --> 01:07:19,400
(Music) Like a flower

922
01:07:19,700 --> 01:07:23,600
(Music) Waiting to bloom

923
01:07:25,900 --> 01:07:28,600
(Music) Like a light bulb

924
01:07:29,800 --> 01:07:32,100
(Music) In a dark room

925
01:07:34,300 --> 01:07:36,900
(Music) I'm just sitting here

926
01:07:37,100 --> 01:07:39,700
(Music) Waiting for you

927
01:07:39,900 --> 01:07:42,100
(Music) To come on home

928
01:07:42,200 --> 01:07:44,200
(Music) And turn me on

929
01:07:50,300 --> 01:07:53,100
(Music) Like the desert

930
01:07:54,200 --> 01:07:58,800
(Music) Waiting for the rain

931
01:08:00,200 --> 01:08:02,600
(Music) Like a schoolkid

932
01:08:04,300 --> 01:08:07,000
(Music) Waiting for the spring

933
01:08:08,900 --> 01:08:10,600
(Music) I'm just sitting here

934
01:08:10,800 --> 01:08:15,600
(Music) Waiting for you to come on home

935
01:08:15,800 --> 01:08:19,000
(Music) And turn me on

936
01:08:19,100 --> 01:08:23,900
(Music) Turn me on (Music)

937
01:08:24,100 --> 01:08:26,200
Well, then. I'd better go.

938
01:08:26,400 --> 01:08:28,300
OK.

939
01:08:29,800 --> 01:08:32,000
- Good night.
- Good night.

940
01:08:49,200 --> 01:08:51,200
Actually...

941
01:08:51,400 --> 01:08:53,600
- I don't have to go.
- Right. Good.

942
01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:55,800
- I mean...
- No, that's good.

943
01:08:56,900 --> 01:09:00,300
Just, erm, would you excuse me
for one second?

944
01:09:00,400 --> 01:09:03,000
- Sure.
- Just one second.

945
01:09:10,500 --> 01:09:13,800
Erm, OK, that's done. Erm...

946
01:09:15,600 --> 01:09:19,000
Why don't you come upstairs
in about ten seconds?

947
01:09:19,200 --> 01:09:21,400
- Ten seconds.
- Ten seconds.

948
01:09:30,400 --> 01:09:32,500
((Music) Eva Cassidy: Songbird)

949
01:09:46,200 --> 01:09:50,300
(Music) For you

950
01:09:51,700 --> 01:09:56,300
(Music) There'll be no crying

951
01:09:58,800 --> 01:10:04,700
(Music) For you

952
01:10:06,500 --> 01:10:11,100
(Music) The sun will be shining

953
01:10:11,800 --> 01:10:16,800
(Music) Cos I feel that when I'm with you

954
01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:21,700
(Music) It's all right... (Music)

955
01:10:22,000 --> 01:10:24,300
- Just tug it.
- OK.

956
01:10:24,500 --> 01:10:29,700
(Music) I know it's right

957
01:10:29,900 --> 01:10:33,300
(Music) And the songbirds

958
01:10:33,500 --> 01:10:42,100
(Music) Keep singing like they know the score

959
01:10:42,500 --> 01:10:45,700
(Music) And I love you, I love you, I love you... (Music)

960
01:10:45,800 --> 01:10:48,500
You're beautiful.

961
01:10:48,700 --> 01:10:52,900
(Music) Like never before... (Music)

962
01:11:05,900 --> 01:11:07,900
(Mobile)

963
01:11:11,900 --> 01:11:14,100
l-I'd better answer that.

964
01:11:18,500 --> 01:11:21,500
Hello. Hi. Hello, darling.

965
01:11:21,700 --> 01:11:24,600
No, no, I'm not busy. No, fire away.

966
01:11:25,800 --> 01:11:27,600
Right.

967
01:11:27,700 --> 01:11:31,600
Yes, I... I'm not quite sure
it's gonna be possible

968
01:11:31,800 --> 01:11:34,400
to get the Pope on the phone tonight but...

969
01:11:35,600 --> 01:11:41,000
Yes. Yes, I'm sure he's very good
at exorcism but...

970
01:11:44,700 --> 01:11:47,100
Well, I'm sure...

971
01:11:47,300 --> 01:11:50,900
Jon Bon Jovi is as well
and I'll definitely look into it.

972
01:11:51,100 --> 01:11:54,500
OK? OK, I'll talk to you later.

973
01:11:54,800 --> 01:11:56,700
All right, bye-bye.

974
01:12:02,200 --> 01:12:06,000
- Sorry about that.
- No, it's fine.

975
01:12:06,100 --> 01:12:09,000
It's my brother, he's not well, he calls a lot.

976
01:12:11,100 --> 01:12:13,500
- I'm sorry.
- No, it's fine. It's fine.

977
01:12:13,600 --> 01:12:16,800
I mean, it's not really fine, it is what it is,

978
01:12:17,100 --> 01:12:20,600
and there being no parents now
and us being over here,

979
01:12:20,800 --> 01:12:26,000
it's my job to keep an eye on him.
Not my job, obviously, I'm glad to do it...

980
01:12:26,300 --> 01:12:30,900
That's OK. Life is full
of interruptions and complications.

981
01:12:33,700 --> 01:12:35,200
So...

982
01:12:47,100 --> 01:12:49,100
(Mobile)

983
01:12:52,200 --> 01:12:54,200
Will it make him better?

984
01:12:55,700 --> 01:12:57,400
No.

985
01:12:57,500 --> 01:12:59,400
Then maybe...

986
01:13:00,400 --> 01:13:02,400
don't answer.

987
01:13:09,800 --> 01:13:12,300
Hey. How you doing?

988
01:13:13,200 --> 01:13:16,100
Right, right. Oh, no, please.

989
01:13:16,200 --> 01:13:19,400
Oh, please, please don't, little darling.

990
01:13:19,500 --> 01:13:24,100
Between the two of us we'll find the answer
and it won't hurt any more.

991
01:13:24,400 --> 01:13:26,300
No, no.

992
01:13:26,400 --> 01:13:28,400
I'm-I'm not busy. I...

993
01:13:30,200 --> 01:13:33,400
Of course, if you want me
to come over I will. Mm-hm.

994
01:13:35,200 --> 01:13:37,000
OK.

995
01:13:46,000 --> 01:13:48,800
That was a good night.

996
01:13:48,900 --> 01:13:51,500
- Except I felt fat.
- Don't be ridiculous.

997
01:13:51,800 --> 01:13:53,300
It's true.

998
01:13:53,400 --> 01:13:57,400
Nowadays the only clothes I can get into
were once owned by Pavarotti.

999
01:13:57,700 --> 01:14:00,500
I always think Pavarotti dresses very well.

1000
01:14:04,200 --> 01:14:06,200
Mia's very pretty.

1001
01:14:08,100 --> 01:14:10,100
Is she?

1002
01:14:11,600 --> 01:14:14,500
You know she is, darling.

1003
01:14:14,700 --> 01:14:16,800
Be careful there.

1004
01:14:40,100 --> 01:14:42,700
Have you been watching stuff on TV?

1005
01:14:44,200 --> 01:14:46,700
Yeah.

1006
01:14:46,800 --> 01:14:48,700
- Every night.
- Good.

1007
01:14:48,900 --> 01:14:51,000
And every day.

1008
01:14:58,000 --> 01:15:02,800
- The nurses are trying to kill me.
- Nobody's trying to kill you, babe.

1009
01:15:09,000 --> 01:15:11,000
Thank you.

1010
01:15:13,800 --> 01:15:16,200
Don't do that, my darling.

1011
01:15:18,600 --> 01:15:20,600
Thank you.

1012
01:15:27,800 --> 01:15:29,800
Don't do that.

1013
01:15:55,300 --> 01:15:57,000
(Dog barking in distance)

1014
01:16:02,600 --> 01:16:06,900
Right. Back at three. Christmas shopping,
never easy or pleasant.

1015
01:16:07,100 --> 01:16:09,900
Are you gonna get me something?

1016
01:16:10,100 --> 01:16:12,100
Er...

1017
01:16:13,700 --> 01:16:15,700
I don't know, I hadn't thought.

1018
01:16:15,900 --> 01:16:17,700
Where's Sarah, by the way?

1019
01:16:17,700 --> 01:16:20,400
She couldn't make it in. Family thing.

1020
01:16:20,600 --> 01:16:24,200
There's a word for hangover
I've never heard before.

1021
01:16:24,400 --> 01:16:28,400
- See you later.
- Yes. Looking forward to it.

1022
01:16:31,900 --> 01:16:33,900
A lot.

1023
01:16:46,100 --> 01:16:48,200
Are you gonna give me something?

1024
01:16:49,200 --> 01:16:51,900
I thought I made it clear last night.

1025
01:16:52,000 --> 01:16:55,600
When it comes to me,
you can have everything.

1026
01:16:55,900 --> 01:16:59,200
So, erm, what do you need?

1027
01:17:00,600 --> 01:17:04,500
Something along the stationery line?
Are you short of staplers?

1028
01:17:04,700 --> 01:17:08,000
No. I don't want something I need.

1029
01:17:08,200 --> 01:17:11,500
I want something I want. Something pretty.

1030
01:17:12,800 --> 01:17:14,700
Right.

1031
01:17:15,800 --> 01:17:17,800
Right.

1032
01:17:25,300 --> 01:17:28,900
Sorry I'm late, I had to drop off
Bernie at rehearsal.

1033
01:17:32,900 --> 01:17:35,400
Right, listen, you keep yourself occupied

1034
01:17:35,600 --> 01:17:38,600
while I do the boring stuff for our mothers.

1035
01:18:00,800 --> 01:18:02,800
- Thank you.
- Thank you.

1036
01:18:02,900 --> 01:18:05,500
Looking for anything in particular, sir?

1037
01:18:05,800 --> 01:18:09,300
Yes. That necklace there, how much is it?

1038
01:18:09,400 --> 01:18:11,500
It's £270.

1039
01:18:13,000 --> 01:18:17,000
- Erm, all right. Er, I'll have it.
- Lovely.

1040
01:18:20,200 --> 01:18:23,100
Would you like it... giftwrapped?

1041
01:18:23,300 --> 01:18:26,000
- Yes, all right.
- Lovely.

1042
01:18:29,100 --> 01:18:31,300
Let me just pop it in the box.

1043
01:18:33,100 --> 01:18:34,500
There.

1044
01:18:34,500 --> 01:18:38,000
- Look, could we be quite quick?
- Certainly, sir.

1045
01:18:38,300 --> 01:18:41,000
Ready in the flashiest of flashes.

1046
01:18:48,600 --> 01:18:50,200
- There.
- That's great.

1047
01:18:50,300 --> 01:18:53,000
Not quite finished.

1048
01:18:56,600 --> 01:19:01,100
- I don't need a bag, I'll put it in my pocket.
- Oh, this isn't a bag, sir.

1049
01:19:01,400 --> 01:19:04,600
- Really?
- This is so much more than a bag.

1050
01:19:11,600 --> 01:19:13,600
Ooh!

1051
01:19:28,000 --> 01:19:30,300
Could we be quite quick, please?

1052
01:19:30,400 --> 01:19:33,100
Prontissimo.

1053
01:19:51,500 --> 01:19:54,200
- What's that?
- A cinnamon stick, sir.

1054
01:19:54,300 --> 01:19:57,700
- Actually, I really can't wait.
- You won't regret it, sir.

1055
01:19:58,000 --> 01:20:00,200
Want to bet?

1056
01:20:00,200 --> 01:20:02,600
'Tis but the work of a moment.

1057
01:20:06,200 --> 01:20:08,400
There we go. Almost finished.

1058
01:20:08,500 --> 01:20:12,800
Are you gonna dip it in yogurt?
Cover it with chocolate buttons?

1059
01:20:13,100 --> 01:20:16,100
No, sir, we're going to pop it
in the Christmas box.

1060
01:20:16,200 --> 01:20:17,800
I don't want a Christmas box.

1061
01:20:17,900 --> 01:20:20,600
- But you wanted it giftwrapped.
- I did but...

1062
01:20:20,700 --> 01:20:22,500
- The final flourish.
- Can I pay?

1063
01:20:22,600 --> 01:20:25,200
- All we need now...
- Oh, God.

1064
01:20:25,400 --> 01:20:27,500
...is a sprig of holly.
- No, no, no, no.

1065
01:20:27,600 --> 01:20:29,600
- No bloody holly.
- But sir...

1066
01:20:29,700 --> 01:20:32,300
- Leave it.
- Ooh!

1067
01:20:32,500 --> 01:20:36,300
- Loitering around the jewellery section?
- No. I was just looking around.

1068
01:20:36,500 --> 01:20:39,000
Don't worry. My expectations
are not that high

1069
01:20:39,200 --> 01:20:42,700
after 13 years of
Mr Oh-But-You-Always-Love-Scarves.

1070
01:20:42,900 --> 01:20:44,900
Actually, I do love this one.

1071
01:20:45,100 --> 01:20:47,200
((Music) Darlene Love: All Alone On Christmas)

1072
01:20:47,300 --> 01:20:49,400
(Music) I've gotta know

1073
01:20:49,600 --> 01:20:55,500
(Music) Where do the Ionely hearts go... (Music)

1074
01:20:55,700 --> 01:20:59,000
- Hey!
- What are you doing here?

1075
01:20:59,200 --> 01:21:02,100
Had to rent out my flat to pay for my ticket.

1076
01:21:02,300 --> 01:21:05,500
You're not actually going ahead
with this stupid plan?

1077
01:21:05,700 --> 01:21:07,300
I bloody am.

1078
01:21:07,500 --> 01:21:10,700
You think this is full of clothes?
Like hell it is.

1079
01:21:10,800 --> 01:21:13,800
It is chock-a-block full of condoms.

1080
01:21:14,000 --> 01:21:17,300
Excellent. Excellent.
Perfect, keep that going.

1081
01:21:17,500 --> 01:21:19,700
(Clears throat) Look, erm...

1082
01:21:21,200 --> 01:21:23,600
sorry to be a bit forward and all that but...

1083
01:21:23,800 --> 01:21:28,200
you don't fancy going for a Christmas drink,
do you? I mean, nothing implied.

1084
01:21:28,500 --> 01:21:33,900
Just maybe go and see something
Christmassy or something.

1085
01:21:34,100 --> 01:21:37,300
Obviously, if you don't want to,
you don't have to. I...

1086
01:21:37,500 --> 01:21:39,100
I'm rambling now, sorry.

1087
01:21:39,300 --> 01:21:41,900
No. That would be lovely.

1088
01:21:42,000 --> 01:21:44,300
Oh, great.

1089
01:21:46,800 --> 01:21:48,000
Yay!

1090
01:21:48,200 --> 01:21:50,200
You know, that is really great.

1091
01:21:50,400 --> 01:21:55,200
Normally, I'm really shy, takes me ages
to get the courage up, so thank you.

1092
01:21:55,400 --> 01:21:57,500
(Repetitive drumbeats)

1093
01:22:01,800 --> 01:22:07,000
- Explain again why you're so late.
- Can't a man have any secrets?

1094
01:22:07,200 --> 01:22:11,300
We've been waiting for hours,
it's the first ever preview.

1095
01:22:11,600 --> 01:22:13,500
(Music)... is a thing of the past

1096
01:22:13,700 --> 01:22:17,000
(Music) Maybe you can bring us all hope this year

1097
01:22:17,200 --> 01:22:20,100
(Music) Visions of sugarplums
have disappeared... (Music)

1098
01:22:20,200 --> 01:22:24,200
(Karen) It was a starry night
in ancient Jerusalem

1099
01:22:24,300 --> 01:22:27,400
and the baby Jesus was in his manger.

1100
01:22:35,600 --> 01:22:39,200
Sherlock Holmes is not a real detective.

1101
01:22:39,400 --> 01:22:42,300
(Russian) Is this the way to the train station?

1102
01:22:42,500 --> 01:22:45,500
I would like half-pint of churly.

1103
01:22:46,800 --> 01:22:49,400
I would like a one-day Travelcard.

1104
01:22:49,500 --> 01:22:53,100
(Portuguese) Oh, my God,
I've got a terrible stomachache.

1105
01:22:53,300 --> 01:22:55,500
It must have been the prawns.

1106
01:22:55,600 --> 01:22:58,100
Milton Keynes has many roundabouts.

1107
01:22:59,400 --> 01:23:03,400
(Portuguese) My goodness,
this is a very big fish!

1108
01:23:03,700 --> 01:23:06,600
It tastes delicious!

1109
01:23:06,700 --> 01:23:08,400
(Music) All alone on Christmas

1110
01:23:08,500 --> 01:23:11,100
(Music) Nobody ought to be alone on Christmas

1111
01:23:11,200 --> 01:23:15,000
(Music) All alone on Christmas
(Music) Nobody ought to be alone on Christmas

1112
01:23:15,200 --> 01:23:16,600
(Music) Tell me I've got to know

1113
01:23:16,800 --> 01:23:21,300
(Music) Nobody ought to be alone on Christmas
(Music) Don't leave me alone (Music)

1114
01:23:21,500 --> 01:23:26,100
- You'll come back a broken man.
- Yeah, back broken from too much sex.

1115
01:23:26,400 --> 01:23:28,700
You are on the road to disaster.

1116
01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:32,200
No, I am on shag highway, heading west.

1117
01:23:32,900 --> 01:23:34,800
Farewell, failure.

1118
01:23:34,900 --> 01:23:38,700
America, watch out!
Here comes Colin Frissell.

1119
01:23:38,900 --> 01:23:42,400
(Music) And he's got a big knob (Music)

1120
01:23:43,600 --> 01:23:46,400
((Music) Santana Featuring Rob Thomas:
Smooth)

1121
01:23:53,200 --> 01:23:55,700
- Take me to a bar.
- What kind of bar?

1122
01:23:55,900 --> 01:23:59,100
Just any bar.
Just your average American bar.

1123
01:24:00,100 --> 01:24:02,900
(On jukebox) (Music) Man, it's a hot one

1124
01:24:03,000 --> 01:24:06,200
(Music) Like seven inches
from the midday sun... (Music)

1125
01:24:06,300 --> 01:24:10,000
- Can I help you?
- Yes. I'd like a Budweiser, please.

1126
01:24:10,200 --> 01:24:13,500
- King of beers.
- Bud coming up.

1127
01:24:14,600 --> 01:24:16,800
Oh, my God.

1128
01:24:16,900 --> 01:24:18,700
Are you from England?

1129
01:24:20,400 --> 01:24:22,800
- Yes.
- Oh...

1130
01:24:22,900 --> 01:24:25,800
that is so cute.

1131
01:24:25,900 --> 01:24:29,500
Hi, I'm Stacey. (Giggles)

1132
01:24:29,700 --> 01:24:31,700
Jeannie?

1133
01:24:33,600 --> 01:24:35,700
Yeah?

1134
01:24:35,800 --> 01:24:38,500
- This is...
- Colin.

1135
01:24:40,100 --> 01:24:42,300
Frissell.

1136
01:24:42,400 --> 01:24:44,500
Cute name.

1137
01:24:44,600 --> 01:24:47,300
- Jeannie.
- He's from England.

1138
01:24:47,500 --> 01:24:49,600
Yep. Basildon.

1139
01:24:49,800 --> 01:24:52,600
- Oh.
- Oh.

1140
01:24:52,700 --> 01:24:57,500
Wait till Carol-Anne gets here.
She's crazy about English guys.

1141
01:24:57,700 --> 01:24:59,800
(Stacey) Uh-huh.

1142
01:25:02,900 --> 01:25:06,800
- Hey, girls.
- Carol-Anne, come meet Colin.

1143
01:25:07,000 --> 01:25:09,500
He's from England.

1144
01:25:09,700 --> 01:25:13,700
Well, step aside, ladies. This one's on me.

1145
01:25:17,000 --> 01:25:19,500
- Hey, gorgeous.
- (Gentle growl)

1146
01:25:21,400 --> 01:25:23,400
That is so funny!

1147
01:25:24,800 --> 01:25:27,100
- What do you call that?
- Er, bottle.

1148
01:25:27,200 --> 01:25:29,300
(With English accent) "Bottle."

1149
01:25:29,400 --> 01:25:31,400
- What about this?
- Er, straw.

1150
01:25:31,600 --> 01:25:33,400
(Girls) "Straw."

1151
01:25:33,500 --> 01:25:35,400
- What about this?
- Table.

1152
01:25:36,700 --> 01:25:38,700
- Table. The same.
- Oh, it's the same.

1153
01:25:38,900 --> 01:25:42,100
- Where are you staying?
- I don't actually know.

1154
01:25:42,400 --> 01:25:45,100
I'll just check into a motel like in the movies.

1155
01:25:45,200 --> 01:25:48,400
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, that is so cute.

1156
01:25:48,600 --> 01:25:53,100
No, no, no, listen. This may be a bit pushy
cos we just met you but...

1157
01:25:53,400 --> 01:25:55,800
why don't you come back
and sleep at our place?

1158
01:25:56,000 --> 01:25:58,000
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1159
01:25:58,200 --> 01:26:01,100
Well, if it's not too much
of an inconvenience.

1160
01:26:01,200 --> 01:26:04,100
- Hell no!
- But there's one problem.

1161
01:26:04,400 --> 01:26:06,400
What?

1162
01:26:06,400 --> 01:26:10,000
Well, we're not the richest of girls,
you know.

1163
01:26:10,200 --> 01:26:15,000
So we just have a little bed and no couch.

1164
01:26:15,200 --> 01:26:18,500
So you'd have to share with all three of us.

1165
01:26:18,600 --> 01:26:24,800
And on this cold, cold night it's gonna be
crowded and sweaty and stuff.

1166
01:26:25,200 --> 01:26:27,800
And we can't even afford pyjamas.

1167
01:26:28,000 --> 01:26:30,300
No?

1168
01:26:30,400 --> 01:26:32,900
Which means...

1169
01:26:33,000 --> 01:26:35,100
we would be naked.

1170
01:26:39,900 --> 01:26:41,500
No, no, I think it'd be fine.

1171
01:26:41,700 --> 01:26:44,000
- (Girls) Great.
- Erm...

1172
01:26:44,100 --> 01:26:47,100
The thing that's gonna make it
more crowded...

1173
01:26:47,300 --> 01:26:49,400
Harriet. You haven't met Harriet.

1174
01:26:49,500 --> 01:26:51,300
- There's a fourth?
- Yeah.

1175
01:26:51,500 --> 01:26:55,600
Don't worry, you're totally gonna like her
cos she is "the sexy one".

1176
01:26:55,900 --> 01:26:58,500
- Really? Wow.
- Yeah.

1177
01:26:58,700 --> 01:27:02,400
- Praise the Lord!
- Oh, and he's a Christian.

1178
01:27:05,000 --> 01:27:06,500
(AIl) Cheers.

1179
01:27:06,700 --> 01:27:09,100
(Music) If I could

1180
01:27:09,300 --> 01:27:11,300
(Music) Then I would

1181
01:27:11,500 --> 01:27:15,500
(Music) I'll go wherever you will go

1182
01:27:15,800 --> 01:27:17,700
(Music) Way up high

1183
01:27:17,900 --> 01:27:19,900
(Music) Or down low

1184
01:27:20,000 --> 01:27:24,100
(Music) I'll go wherever you will go

1185
01:27:24,200 --> 01:27:27,500
(Music) If I could turn back... (Music)

1186
01:27:27,700 --> 01:27:30,800
One present only each tonight.
Who's got one for Dad?

1187
01:27:31,000 --> 01:27:32,900
- I have.
- Let Mummy go first.

1188
01:27:33,000 --> 01:27:36,100
- I'll get it.
- No, no, no. I want to choose mine.

1189
01:27:36,200 --> 01:27:38,400
I think I want...

1190
01:27:40,700 --> 01:27:44,300
...this one.
- I have bought the traditional scarf as well

1191
01:27:44,600 --> 01:27:48,400
but this is my other,
slightly special, personal one.

1192
01:27:48,500 --> 01:27:50,600
Thank you.

1193
01:27:50,700 --> 01:27:52,800
That's a real first.

1194
01:27:52,900 --> 01:27:55,300
- Rip it!
- What is it?

1195
01:27:55,400 --> 01:27:57,900
I'm going to... All right, I'll rip it.

1196
01:28:04,600 --> 01:28:06,900
God, that's a surprise.

1197
01:28:08,200 --> 01:28:09,900
(Daisy) What is it?

1198
01:28:11,900 --> 01:28:15,500
It's a CD. Joni Mitchell, wow.

1199
01:28:15,600 --> 01:28:17,900
To continue your emotional education.

1200
01:28:18,000 --> 01:28:20,200
Yes.

1201
01:28:20,300 --> 01:28:22,700
Goodness.

1202
01:28:22,800 --> 01:28:24,700
That's great.

1203
01:28:24,900 --> 01:28:27,700
- My brilliant wife.
- Ah, yes.

1204
01:28:30,100 --> 01:28:34,200
Actually, do you mind if I just absent myself
for a second?

1205
01:28:34,500 --> 01:28:37,300
All that ice cream. Er...

1206
01:28:37,400 --> 01:28:40,600
Darling, could you make sure
the kids are ready to go?

1207
01:28:40,800 --> 01:28:43,800
- Back in a minute.
- (Harry to kids) All right, take it easy.

1208
01:28:44,300 --> 01:28:46,200
(Bernie) Mine first. Mine.

1209
01:28:46,700 --> 01:28:49,400
((Music) Joni Mitchell: Both Sides Now)
(Music) Moons and Junes

1210
01:28:49,500 --> 01:28:51,800
(Music) And Ferris wheels

1211
01:28:53,400 --> 01:28:58,400
(Music) The dizzy dancing way that you feel

1212
01:28:58,700 --> 01:29:03,600
(Music) As every fairy tale comes real

1213
01:29:06,200 --> 01:29:08,500
(Music) I've looked at love that way

1214
01:29:12,300 --> 01:29:15,900
(Music) But now it's just another show

1215
01:29:18,200 --> 01:29:22,600
(Music) And you leave 'em laughing when you go

1216
01:29:24,100 --> 01:29:26,700
(Music) And if you care

1217
01:29:27,000 --> 01:29:29,100
(Music) Don't let them know

1218
01:29:30,900 --> 01:29:34,000
(Music) Don't give yourself away

1219
01:29:37,000 --> 01:29:39,200
(Music) I've looked at love

1220
01:29:39,400 --> 01:29:42,200
(Music) From both sides now

1221
01:29:42,300 --> 01:29:44,400
(Music) From give and take

1222
01:29:45,600 --> 01:29:48,700
(Music) And still somehow

1223
01:29:49,000 --> 01:29:54,000
(Music) It's love's illusions that I recall

1224
01:29:56,000 --> 01:29:58,400
(Music) I really don't know love

1225
01:30:02,800 --> 01:30:05,400
(Music) I really don't know love at all

1226
01:30:17,300 --> 01:30:19,500
(Music) Tears and fears

1227
01:30:19,600 --> 01:30:22,300
(Music) And feeling proud

1228
01:30:23,600 --> 01:30:28,400
(Music) To say I love you right out loud

1229
01:30:29,700 --> 01:30:32,300
(Music) Dreams and schemes

1230
01:30:32,400 --> 01:30:35,100
(Music) And circus crowds

1231
01:30:36,600 --> 01:30:39,600
(Music) I've looked at life that way

1232
01:30:41,200 --> 01:30:43,300
(Music) Oh but now old friends... (Music)

1233
01:30:43,400 --> 01:30:45,000
Oh, my God.

1234
01:30:45,200 --> 01:30:48,100
It's a miracle. You're all dressed.

1235
01:30:48,300 --> 01:30:51,200
Come on, come on, come on,
we're horribly late.

1236
01:30:51,400 --> 01:30:53,700
Come on, then. In the car. In the car.

1237
01:30:55,100 --> 01:30:57,800
(Music) Well something's lost

1238
01:30:58,000 --> 01:30:59,800
(Music) But something's gained

1239
01:31:01,200 --> 01:31:04,400
(Music) In living every day (Music)

1240
01:31:04,900 --> 01:31:07,800
- Has she noticed you yet?
- No.

1241
01:31:08,000 --> 01:31:12,400
But the thing about romance is people
only get together right at the very end.

1242
01:31:12,700 --> 01:31:14,800
Of course.

1243
01:31:15,900 --> 01:31:19,600
By the way, I feel bad. I never ask you
how your love life is going.

1244
01:31:19,900 --> 01:31:21,800
Er-huh!

1245
01:31:22,000 --> 01:31:23,700
No.

1246
01:31:23,800 --> 01:31:26,600
As you know,
that was a done deal long ago.

1247
01:31:28,000 --> 01:31:32,800
Unless Claudia Schiffer calls, in which case
I want you out of here straightaway,

1248
01:31:33,100 --> 01:31:36,200
- you wee motherless mongrel.
- Oh!

1249
01:31:36,400 --> 01:31:40,100
No, no. We'll want to have sex
in every room, including yours.

1250
01:31:41,000 --> 01:31:43,900
(Male DJ)
'It's a rainy Christmas Eve all over the UK

1251
01:31:44,200 --> 01:31:48,100
'and the question is who is number one
on the Radio One chart show tonight?

1252
01:31:48,300 --> 01:31:52,100
'Is it Blue or the unexpected
Christmas sensation from Billy Mack?

1253
01:31:52,400 --> 01:31:56,100
'You might have guessed it
although you may not believe it.

1254
01:31:56,400 --> 01:31:58,500
'It's Billy Mack.'

1255
01:32:00,800 --> 01:32:03,400
- You are the champion!
- (Crowd) Shh.

1256
01:32:03,500 --> 01:32:05,400
- 'Hi, Billy.'
- Hello.

1257
01:32:05,500 --> 01:32:09,200
'We're live across the nation
and you're number one.

1258
01:32:09,400 --> 01:32:11,900
- 'How will you be celebrating? '
- I don't know.

1259
01:32:12,100 --> 01:32:15,100
Er, either I could behave like
a real rock'n'roll loser

1260
01:32:15,300 --> 01:32:17,900
and get drunk with my fat manager...

1261
01:32:18,200 --> 01:32:20,200
or, when I hang up,

1262
01:32:20,400 --> 01:32:25,100
I'll be flooded by invitations
to a large number of glamorous parties.

1263
01:32:25,300 --> 01:32:28,800
'Let's hope it's the latter. Here it is.
Number one, from Billy Mack,

1264
01:32:29,000 --> 01:32:33,100
- 'it's Christmas Is All Around.'
- Oh, Jesus, not that crap again.

1265
01:32:33,300 --> 01:32:35,900
(Music) I feel it in my fingers... (Music)

1266
01:32:36,000 --> 01:32:38,400
Bill, it's for you, babe.

1267
01:32:39,500 --> 01:32:41,800
Hello. Elton.

1268
01:32:42,000 --> 01:32:45,400
O-Of course. Of course.

1269
01:32:45,600 --> 01:32:48,900
Send an embarrassingly big car
and I'll be there.

1270
01:32:49,000 --> 01:32:50,700
(Crowd laughing)

1271
01:32:50,800 --> 01:32:54,300
It's gonna be a very good Christmas.

1272
01:32:54,600 --> 01:32:56,600
(Cheering)

1273
01:33:02,500 --> 01:33:05,200
- Right.
- I'd better be getting inside, actually.

1274
01:33:05,300 --> 01:33:09,400
- My mum and... you know.
- Of course, yeah. It's getting a bit cold.

1275
01:33:09,600 --> 01:33:12,000
Erm...

1276
01:33:12,100 --> 01:33:14,900
- Well, good night.
- Night.

1277
01:33:17,500 --> 01:33:19,300
Er...

1278
01:33:24,800 --> 01:33:27,800
Er... OK.

1279
01:33:40,600 --> 01:33:43,200
All I want for Christmas...

1280
01:33:43,400 --> 01:33:46,800
- is you.
- (Laughs nervously)

1281
01:33:46,900 --> 01:33:49,500
Right.

1282
01:33:49,600 --> 01:33:52,500
Thank you. Good.

1283
01:33:52,700 --> 01:33:54,500
Good night.

1284
01:33:55,700 --> 01:33:58,900
Ha ha ha! Ho.

1285
01:33:59,100 --> 01:34:03,200
((Music) Otis Redding: White Christmas)
(Music) I'm, I'm dreaming

1286
01:34:04,600 --> 01:34:08,100
(Music) Dreaming of a white... (Music)

1287
01:34:08,300 --> 01:34:10,800
Oh, look, everyone, it's Uncle Jamie.

1288
01:34:11,000 --> 01:34:13,700
Hi, Uncle Jamie!

1289
01:34:13,900 --> 01:34:18,000
Yes, oh, splendid. It's lovely to see you all.

1290
01:34:18,200 --> 01:34:20,600
And, er...

1291
01:34:21,800 --> 01:34:23,100
I'm off, actually.

1292
01:34:23,200 --> 01:34:26,000
But Jamie, darling.

1293
01:34:26,200 --> 01:34:28,600
Sorry.

1294
01:34:28,800 --> 01:34:31,400
Man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

1295
01:34:34,500 --> 01:34:36,400
I hate Uncle Jamie!

1296
01:34:36,500 --> 01:34:39,700
(Girl) I hate Uncle Jamie.
(Boy) I hate Uncle Jamie.

1297
01:34:39,900 --> 01:34:42,000
(Music) And try to listen

1298
01:34:43,800 --> 01:34:46,700
(Music) To hear

1299
01:34:47,000 --> 01:34:49,200
(Music) Hear for the sleigh bells

1300
01:34:49,300 --> 01:34:51,300
(Music) That are ringing in the snow... (Music)

1301
01:34:51,400 --> 01:34:54,200
Gatwick airport, please. Fast as you can.

1302
01:34:55,300 --> 01:34:57,500
((Music) Song continues on radio, quietly)

1303
01:34:58,700 --> 01:35:01,100
(Music) l-l-I

1304
01:35:02,300 --> 01:35:04,300
(Music) I'm dreaming

1305
01:35:06,400 --> 01:35:09,000
(Music) Of a white... (Music)

1306
01:35:09,200 --> 01:35:11,900
- Night, Sarah.
- Night, Karl.

1307
01:35:12,800 --> 01:35:14,800
I, er...

1308
01:35:19,000 --> 01:35:21,800
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.

1309
01:35:26,500 --> 01:35:29,900
(Music) I want you to know, may your day

1310
01:35:30,000 --> 01:35:33,100
(Music) May your day

1311
01:35:33,300 --> 01:35:37,500
(Music) Be so merry, merry and bright... (Music)

1312
01:35:42,200 --> 01:35:45,100
Hi, babe, how's it going? Yeah.

1313
01:35:45,300 --> 01:35:47,900
Is it all party, party, party down there?

1314
01:35:48,100 --> 01:35:50,100
(Music) All of your Christmases

1315
01:35:51,300 --> 01:35:53,700
(Music) And may all

1316
01:35:53,900 --> 01:35:57,100
(Music) And may all of your Christmases

1317
01:35:58,800 --> 01:36:00,600
(Music) Baby may your days

1318
01:36:00,700 --> 01:36:04,300
(Music) May your days be merry

1319
01:36:04,500 --> 01:36:06,600
(Music) Merry, so merry... (Music)

1320
01:36:06,800 --> 01:36:09,800
- Sam, time for dinner.
- I'm not hungry.

1321
01:36:10,000 --> 01:36:13,400
Sam, I've done chicken kebabs.

1322
01:36:13,500 --> 01:36:15,700
(Sam) Look at the sign on the door.

1323
01:36:15,800 --> 01:36:17,800
(Drumming)

1324
01:36:19,900 --> 01:36:21,900
Right.

1325
01:36:27,700 --> 01:36:30,400
It's a little long.

1326
01:36:30,500 --> 01:36:36,300
(Music) Dreaming,
dreaming of a white, white Christmas... (Music)

1327
01:36:36,500 --> 01:36:38,400
(Doorbell)

1328
01:36:38,600 --> 01:36:40,600
I'll get it.

1329
01:36:46,900 --> 01:36:49,800
- Oh, hi.
- (Peter) Who is it?

1330
01:36:54,400 --> 01:36:56,200
It's carol singers.

1331
01:36:56,400 --> 01:36:58,400
Give them a quid and tell them to bugger off.

1332
01:36:58,500 --> 01:37:00,700
(Turns volume up)

1333
01:37:02,100 --> 01:37:06,800
(Music) Silent night

1334
01:37:07,100 --> 01:37:11,300
(Music) Holy night

1335
01:37:11,600 --> 01:37:15,900
(Music) All is calm

1336
01:37:16,100 --> 01:37:20,400
(Music) All is bright

1337
01:37:20,500 --> 01:37:24,900
(Music) Round yon virgin

1338
01:37:25,200 --> 01:37:29,400
(Music) Mother and child

1339
01:37:29,600 --> 01:37:33,500
(Music) Holy infant

1340
01:37:33,800 --> 01:37:38,200
(Music) So tender and mild

1341
01:37:38,400 --> 01:37:46,200
(Music) Sleep in heavenly peace

1342
01:37:47,900 --> 01:37:53,000
(Music) Sleep in heavenly peace

1343
01:37:56,900 --> 01:38:00,900
(Music) Silent night

1344
01:38:01,100 --> 01:38:05,400
(Music) Holy night

1345
01:38:05,700 --> 01:38:09,800
(Music) Shepherds quake

1346
01:38:10,000 --> 01:38:11,900
(Music) At the sight... (Music)

1347
01:38:12,100 --> 01:38:14,100
(Whispers) Merry Christmas.

1348
01:38:14,200 --> 01:38:18,300
(Music) Glories stream

1349
01:38:18,500 --> 01:38:22,700
(Music) From heaven afar

1350
01:38:23,600 --> 01:38:32,100
(Music) Heavenly hosts sing alleluia

1351
01:38:32,600 --> 01:38:40,400
(Music) Christ the saviour is born

1352
01:38:41,800 --> 01:38:47,100
(Music) Christ the saviour is born (Music)

1353
01:38:50,300 --> 01:38:52,900
Enough.

1354
01:38:53,100 --> 01:38:54,900
Enough now.

1355
01:38:55,100 --> 01:38:57,000
(Sound turned down)

1356
01:39:00,400 --> 01:39:02,300
(Doorbell)

1357
01:39:02,400 --> 01:39:06,900
What the hell are you doing here?
You're supposed to be at Elton John's.

1358
01:39:07,200 --> 01:39:12,200
Well, I was there for a minute or two
and then I had an epiphany.

1359
01:39:12,400 --> 01:39:14,700
- Really?
- Yeah.

1360
01:39:14,900 --> 01:39:16,900
Come on. Just come up.

1361
01:39:17,000 --> 01:39:20,100
So what was this epiphany?

1362
01:39:20,200 --> 01:39:22,900
Erm, it... it was about Christmas.

1363
01:39:23,100 --> 01:39:25,300
You realised it was all around.

1364
01:39:25,500 --> 01:39:29,700
No. I realised that Christmas is the time
to be with the people you love.

1365
01:39:31,000 --> 01:39:32,400
Right.

1366
01:39:32,600 --> 01:39:39,100
And I realised that, as dire chance
and fateful cockup would have it,

1367
01:39:39,400 --> 01:39:41,300
here I am,

1368
01:39:41,500 --> 01:39:43,700
mid-fifties,

1369
01:39:43,900 --> 01:39:46,900
and without knowing it,
I've spent most of my adult life

1370
01:39:47,100 --> 01:39:50,800
with a chubby employee. (Snorts)

1371
01:39:51,000 --> 01:39:53,600
And, much as it grieves me to say it,

1372
01:39:53,800 --> 01:39:59,300
it might be that the people I love is, in fact...

1373
01:40:00,700 --> 01:40:03,500
you.

1374
01:40:04,700 --> 01:40:06,800
Well, this is a surprise.

1375
01:40:06,900 --> 01:40:08,600
Yeah.

1376
01:40:08,700 --> 01:40:10,900
Ten minutes at Elton John's and you're gay?

1377
01:40:11,000 --> 01:40:13,000
No, look. I'm serious here.

1378
01:40:13,200 --> 01:40:18,800
I left Elton's and a hefty number
of half-naked chicks with their mouths open

1379
01:40:19,200 --> 01:40:23,300
in order to hang out with you at Christmas.

1380
01:40:25,000 --> 01:40:30,200
- Well, Bill...
- It's a terrible, terrible mistake, chubs...

1381
01:40:34,300 --> 01:40:37,500
but you turn out to be
the fucking love of my life.

1382
01:40:41,100 --> 01:40:44,900
And to be honest,
despite all my complaining...

1383
01:40:46,900 --> 01:40:49,300
we have had a wonderful life.

1384
01:40:53,900 --> 01:40:55,500
Well...

1385
01:40:57,300 --> 01:40:59,500
thank you.

1386
01:41:01,300 --> 01:41:04,200
I mean, come on, it's been an honour.

1387
01:41:05,800 --> 01:41:08,100
I feel very proud.

1388
01:41:08,300 --> 01:41:10,300
Oh, look, don't be a moron.

1389
01:41:18,600 --> 01:41:21,200
(Clears throat)

1390
01:41:21,300 --> 01:41:24,600
Come on, let's get pissed and watch porn.

1391
01:41:44,200 --> 01:41:46,600
(Natalie) 'Dear sir, Dear David,

1392
01:41:46,700 --> 01:41:50,000
'Merry Christmas and I hope you have
a very happy New Year.

1393
01:41:50,300 --> 01:41:52,700
'I'm very sorry
about the thing that happened.

1394
01:41:52,900 --> 01:41:55,900
'It was a very odd moment
and I feel like a prize idiot.

1395
01:41:56,000 --> 01:41:57,800
'Particularly because -

1396
01:41:58,000 --> 01:42:00,700
'if you can't say it at Christmas,
when can you, eh? -

1397
01:42:00,800 --> 01:42:04,400
'I'm actually yours. With love, your Natalie.'

1398
01:42:24,600 --> 01:42:26,700
Jack, yeah, I need a car.

1399
01:42:26,800 --> 01:42:28,800
Right now. Thank you.

1400
01:42:29,000 --> 01:42:31,100
((Music) Pointer Sisters: Jump)

1401
01:42:40,500 --> 01:42:42,700
Oh, don't wait up.

1402
01:42:46,600 --> 01:42:48,900
I'd like to go to Wandsworth, the dodgy end.

1403
01:42:49,000 --> 01:42:51,200
Very good, sir.

1404
01:42:51,300 --> 01:42:54,800
(Music) Tell me how you want me

1405
01:42:55,000 --> 01:42:58,500
(Music) I can feel it in your heart beat

1406
01:42:58,800 --> 01:43:01,700
(Music) I know you like what you see... (Music)

1407
01:43:01,800 --> 01:43:04,600
(Terry) Harris Street. What number, sir?

1408
01:43:04,800 --> 01:43:09,500
(David) Oh, God, it's the longest street
in the world and I have absolutely no idea.

1409
01:43:09,700 --> 01:43:12,600
(Music) Wrap your love around me

1410
01:43:12,800 --> 01:43:15,700
(Music) You're so excited
I can feel you getting hotter (Music)

1411
01:43:15,800 --> 01:43:17,700
(Doorbell)

1412
01:43:17,900 --> 01:43:19,700
Hello, does Natalie live here?

1413
01:43:19,900 --> 01:43:23,200
- No.
- Right, fine, thank you. Sorry to disturb.

1414
01:43:23,400 --> 01:43:25,400
Here, aren't...

1415
01:43:25,600 --> 01:43:28,800
Aren't you the Prime Minister?

1416
01:43:29,000 --> 01:43:33,500
- Er, yes. In fact, I am. Merry Christmas.
- Oh.

1417
01:43:33,700 --> 01:43:37,400
Part of the service now. Trying to get round
everyone by New Year's Eve.

1418
01:43:37,700 --> 01:43:39,700
(Doorbell)

1419
01:43:41,900 --> 01:43:45,100
Ah. Hello. Does Natalie live here?

1420
01:43:45,200 --> 01:43:47,800
- No, she doesn't.
- Oh dear. OK.

1421
01:43:47,900 --> 01:43:51,100
- Are you singing carols?
- Er, no. No, I'm not.

1422
01:43:51,200 --> 01:43:54,400
- Please, sir, please.
- Please.

1423
01:43:57,400 --> 01:43:59,200
Well, I suppose I could.

1424
01:43:59,300 --> 01:44:01,100
Please.

1425
01:44:02,500 --> 01:44:04,600
- All right.
- (Girls cheer)

1426
01:44:07,100 --> 01:44:09,900
(Music) Good King Wenceslas looked out

1427
01:44:10,100 --> 01:44:13,700
(Music) On the feast of Stephen

1428
01:44:14,000 --> 01:44:17,300
(Joins in with rich, deep voice)
(Music) When the snow lay round about

1429
01:44:17,500 --> 01:44:20,800
(Music) Deep and crisp and even

1430
01:44:21,000 --> 01:44:24,400
(Music) Brightly shone the moon that night (Music)

1431
01:44:24,600 --> 01:44:27,000
- (Doorbell)
- Hello. Sorry to disturb.

1432
01:44:27,200 --> 01:44:30,100
- Does Natalie live here?
- No.

1433
01:44:30,200 --> 01:44:32,300
She lives next door.

1434
01:44:34,800 --> 01:44:37,400
Ah. Brilliant.

1435
01:44:37,500 --> 01:44:40,400
You're not who I think you are, are you?

1436
01:44:40,600 --> 01:44:42,700
Yes and I'm sorry about all the cockups.

1437
01:44:42,800 --> 01:44:46,100
My cabinet are absolute crap.
We hope to do better next year.

1438
01:44:46,300 --> 01:44:48,400
Merry Christmas to you.

1439
01:45:01,100 --> 01:45:01,700
(Doorbell)

1440
01:45:03,300 --> 01:45:07,000
- (Chatting stops suddenly)
- Ah. Hello.

1441
01:45:07,200 --> 01:45:09,400
Is, er, Natalie in?

1442
01:45:09,400 --> 01:45:12,200
Oh, where the fuck is my fucking coat?

1443
01:45:13,700 --> 01:45:17,500
- Oh. Hello.
- Hello.

1444
01:45:17,700 --> 01:45:22,600
Erm, this is my mum and my dad
and my Uncle Tony and my Auntie Glynne.

1445
01:45:22,900 --> 01:45:24,800
- Hello.
- Very nice to meet you.

1446
01:45:24,900 --> 01:45:28,600
And, erm... this is the Prime Minister.

1447
01:45:28,700 --> 01:45:31,500
Yes, we can see that, darling.

1448
01:45:31,800 --> 01:45:34,500
And erm, unfortunately, we're very late.

1449
01:45:34,600 --> 01:45:37,600
It's the school Christmas concert,
you see, David.

1450
01:45:37,800 --> 01:45:41,100
All the local schools have joined together,
even St Basil's...

1451
01:45:41,200 --> 01:45:44,900
- Too much detail, Mum.
- Anyway, how can we help, sir?

1452
01:45:45,200 --> 01:45:48,900
Well, I... just needed Natalie...

1453
01:45:51,900 --> 01:45:53,900
on some state business.

1454
01:45:54,000 --> 01:45:58,500
- Oh.
- Right, yes. Of course.

1455
01:45:58,700 --> 01:46:00,400
Right, er...

1456
01:46:00,500 --> 01:46:03,100
Well, perhaps you should
come on later, Plumpy.

1457
01:46:03,200 --> 01:46:04,600
Er, Natalie.

1458
01:46:04,700 --> 01:46:07,200
I don't want to make you late for the concert.

1459
01:46:07,300 --> 01:46:10,800
- No, it's nothing, really.
- Keith'll be very disappointed.

1460
01:46:11,100 --> 01:46:15,100
- No, really, it doesn't matter.
- The octopus costume's taken me months.

1461
01:46:15,200 --> 01:46:17,200
Eight is a lot of legs, David.

1462
01:46:17,300 --> 01:46:19,800
Mm. Erm...

1463
01:46:21,700 --> 01:46:23,700
Listen, why don't I give you a lift

1464
01:46:23,900 --> 01:46:28,800
and then we can talk about
this state business business in the car.

1465
01:46:30,600 --> 01:46:32,000
OK.

1466
01:46:32,100 --> 01:46:34,800
- Lovely, yes.
- Thank you.

1467
01:46:35,100 --> 01:46:37,100
Hold tight, everybody.

1468
01:46:43,700 --> 01:46:46,500
- How far is this place?
- Just round the corner.

1469
01:46:46,600 --> 01:46:49,200
Ah, right. Well, er...

1470
01:46:51,200 --> 01:46:53,400
I just wanted to say...

1471
01:46:55,400 --> 01:46:57,500
thank you for the Christmas card.

1472
01:46:57,700 --> 01:46:59,400
You're welcome.

1473
01:46:59,600 --> 01:47:01,400
Look, I'm so sorry about that day.

1474
01:47:01,500 --> 01:47:04,700
I came in and he slinked towards me
and there was a fire

1475
01:47:04,900 --> 01:47:09,200
and he's the President of the United States
and nothing happened, I promise.

1476
01:47:09,500 --> 01:47:12,500
I just felt like such a fool because...

1477
01:47:12,700 --> 01:47:15,800
I think about you all the time, actually.

1478
01:47:16,000 --> 01:47:19,200
- And I think you're the man that I really...
- We're here.

1479
01:47:19,500 --> 01:47:21,100
...Iove.
- Oh, wow.

1480
01:47:21,100 --> 01:47:23,700
That really was just round the corner. Er...

1481
01:47:25,500 --> 01:47:27,500
Erm...

1482
01:47:30,100 --> 01:47:32,200
Ow!

1483
01:47:36,500 --> 01:47:38,700
(Sighs)

1484
01:47:38,900 --> 01:47:41,100
Well, look, I...

1485
01:47:42,900 --> 01:47:45,300
I think I'd better not come in, you know?

1486
01:47:46,400 --> 01:47:49,900
Nobody wants some politician
stealing the kids' thunder.

1487
01:47:50,000 --> 01:47:53,500
No, please come. It'll be great.

1488
01:47:53,700 --> 01:47:56,300
No, I'd... I'd better not.

1489
01:47:57,500 --> 01:48:02,100
But I will be very sorry

1490
01:48:02,300 --> 01:48:04,400
to drive away from you.

1491
01:48:06,000 --> 01:48:08,100
Just give me one second.

1492
01:48:22,100 --> 01:48:25,100
John's been very mysterious.
Where did you two meet?

1493
01:48:25,300 --> 01:48:28,300
- Erm... erm...
- Um... um...

1494
01:48:31,500 --> 01:48:33,500
No!

1495
01:49:04,900 --> 01:49:08,500
Come on in. We can watch from backstage.

1496
01:49:08,600 --> 01:49:10,700
OK. Terry, I won't be long.

1497
01:49:14,300 --> 01:49:17,100
Look, this has to be a very secret visit, OK?

1498
01:49:17,300 --> 01:49:21,300
Don't worry. This was my school.
I know my way around. Come on.

1499
01:49:24,200 --> 01:49:27,300
Look, the sheep are ready already
and you're not even...

1500
01:49:27,400 --> 01:49:31,300
- Oh, David.
- Ah!

1501
01:49:31,600 --> 01:49:33,800
Oh, how are you?

1502
01:49:33,900 --> 01:49:37,900
Hi, guys. Hey, hey, hey. You all right?

1503
01:49:38,000 --> 01:49:40,100
What the hell are you doing here?

1504
01:49:40,200 --> 01:49:43,100
- Well, you know...
- We always tell your secretary

1505
01:49:43,400 --> 01:49:47,900
that these things are going on but it never
occurred to me you'd actually turn up.

1506
01:49:48,200 --> 01:49:50,000
I thought it was time I did.

1507
01:49:50,100 --> 01:49:53,300
I didn't want anyone to see,
so I'm gonna hide somewhere.

1508
01:49:53,600 --> 01:49:55,900
Good luck, Daisy, good luck, Bernie.

1509
01:49:56,100 --> 01:49:59,700
I've never been gladder
to see my stupid big brother.

1510
01:49:59,800 --> 01:50:03,000
- Thank you.
- All right.

1511
01:50:03,200 --> 01:50:06,100
Oh, now. We haven't been introduced.

1512
01:50:06,200 --> 01:50:09,200
Right. Well, this is Gavin.

1513
01:50:09,300 --> 01:50:11,400
- Hello, Gavin.
- My copper.

1514
01:50:11,600 --> 01:50:13,600
And this is Natalie, who's my, erm...

1515
01:50:13,700 --> 01:50:16,500
- who's my, erm, catering manager.
- Oh.

1516
01:50:16,600 --> 01:50:18,600
- Hi.
- Catering manager.

1517
01:50:18,800 --> 01:50:20,800
Watch he keeps his hands off you.

1518
01:50:20,900 --> 01:50:23,000
20 years ago, you'd have been his type.

1519
01:50:23,200 --> 01:50:27,900
I'll be very careful. Don't try something, sir,
just because it's Christmas.

1520
01:50:28,200 --> 01:50:30,200
- No, seriously.
- (Bell)

1521
01:50:30,400 --> 01:50:32,700
Come on. Showtime. Quickly.

1522
01:50:32,800 --> 01:50:35,400
- Look, see you after, yeah?
- Probably.

1523
01:50:35,500 --> 01:50:38,400
- Thank you, Prime Minister.
- It's all right.

1524
01:50:38,500 --> 01:50:40,600
- Come on.
- Right.

1525
01:50:40,800 --> 01:50:43,900
(Music) Catch a falling star
and put it in your pocket

1526
01:50:44,200 --> 01:50:48,600
(Music) Save it for a rainy day

1527
01:50:48,700 --> 01:50:52,700
(Music) Catch a falling star
And put it in your pocket

1528
01:50:52,900 --> 01:50:55,900
(Music) Never let it fade away

1529
01:50:57,200 --> 01:51:01,100
(Music) Never let it fade away

1530
01:51:01,900 --> 01:51:06,800
(Music) Never let it fade away (Music)

1531
01:51:07,100 --> 01:51:09,100
(Cheering, applause)

1532
01:51:14,700 --> 01:51:18,100
Hillier School would now like to present
their Christmas number.

1533
01:51:18,400 --> 01:51:21,200
Lead vocals by ten-year-old
Joanna Anderson,

1534
01:51:21,400 --> 01:51:23,900
backing vocals coordinated by her mother,

1535
01:51:24,000 --> 01:51:26,200
the great Mrs Jean Anderson.

1536
01:51:26,300 --> 01:51:29,100
Erm, some of the staff
have decided to help out

1537
01:51:29,300 --> 01:51:33,600
and for this, we ask you to forgive us.

1538
01:51:33,900 --> 01:51:35,700
Thank you.

1539
01:51:35,800 --> 01:51:37,600
(Applause)

1540
01:51:41,500 --> 01:51:44,900
(A capella) (Music) I don't want a lot for Christmas

1541
01:51:45,100 --> 01:51:49,200
(Music) There's just one thing I need

1542
01:51:49,500 --> 01:51:52,700
(Music) I don't care about the presents

1543
01:51:52,900 --> 01:51:56,700
(Music) Underneath the Christmas tree

1544
01:51:56,800 --> 01:52:00,300
(Music) I just want you for my own

1545
01:52:00,600 --> 01:52:04,300
(Music) More than you could ever know

1546
01:52:04,400 --> 01:52:08,200
(Music) Make my wish come true

1547
01:52:08,400 --> 01:52:12,400
(Music) All I want for Christmas

1548
01:52:12,700 --> 01:52:20,100
(Music) Is you

1549
01:52:22,400 --> 01:52:25,000
(Music) I don't want a lot for Christmas

1550
01:52:25,100 --> 01:52:28,300
(Music) There's just one thing I need

1551
01:52:28,400 --> 01:52:31,300
(Music) I don't care about the presents

1552
01:52:31,500 --> 01:52:34,500
(Music) Underneath the Christmas tree

1553
01:52:34,800 --> 01:52:38,000
(Music) I just want you for my own

1554
01:52:38,100 --> 01:52:41,000
(Music) More than you could ever know

1555
01:52:41,100 --> 01:52:44,100
(Music) Make my wish come true

1556
01:52:44,300 --> 01:52:48,900
(Music) All I want for Christmas is you

1557
01:52:50,600 --> 01:52:52,800
(Music) You baby

1558
01:52:53,000 --> 01:52:56,800
(Music) Oh, all the lights are shining

1559
01:52:57,000 --> 01:53:01,000
(Music) So brightly everywhere

1560
01:53:01,200 --> 01:53:04,800
(Music) And the sound of children's laughter
fills the air

1561
01:53:05,000 --> 01:53:07,300
(Music) Laughter fills the air

1562
01:53:07,400 --> 01:53:10,300
(Music) Everyone is singing
(Music) Oh yeah

1563
01:53:10,400 --> 01:53:12,700
(Music) I hear those sleigh bells ringing

1564
01:53:12,900 --> 01:53:15,600
(Music) Santa won't you bring me my honey

1565
01:53:15,800 --> 01:53:19,200
(Music) Won't you please bring my baby to me

1566
01:53:19,300 --> 01:53:22,200
(Music) I don't want a lot for Christmas

1567
01:53:22,300 --> 01:53:25,700
(Music) This is all I'm asking for
(Music) All I'm asking for

1568
01:53:26,000 --> 01:53:28,800
(Music) I just wanna see my baby

1569
01:53:28,900 --> 01:53:32,000
(Music) Standing right outside my door

1570
01:53:32,100 --> 01:53:34,700
(Music) Cos I just want you for my own

1571
01:53:34,900 --> 01:53:38,100
(Music) More than you could ever know
(Music) You will ever know

1572
01:53:38,300 --> 01:53:41,500
(Music) Make my wish come true

1573
01:53:41,700 --> 01:53:45,700
(Music) All I want for Christmas

1574
01:53:45,900 --> 01:53:49,400
(Music) Is you

1575
01:53:49,500 --> 01:53:51,800
(Music) All I want for Christmas

1576
01:53:51,900 --> 01:53:55,300
(Music) And you and you

1577
01:53:55,600 --> 01:53:58,400
(Music) And you and you
(Music) All I want for Christmas

1578
01:53:59,300 --> 01:54:02,700
(Music) All I want for Christmas (Music)

1579
01:54:03,000 --> 01:54:05,300
(Cheering, whistling)

1580
01:54:19,200 --> 01:54:21,100
Right.

1581
01:54:24,200 --> 01:54:26,500
So, not quite as secret as we'd hoped.

1582
01:54:26,600 --> 01:54:28,800
- What do we do now?
- Smile.

1583
01:54:30,000 --> 01:54:31,900
Little bow.

1584
01:54:35,400 --> 01:54:37,500
And a wave.

1585
01:54:50,900 --> 01:54:54,100
Absolutely no idea.
I mean, can you imagine?

1586
01:54:54,200 --> 01:54:56,200
I'll see you later, all right?

1587
01:54:56,400 --> 01:54:58,400
I'll speak to you. Bye.

1588
01:55:01,000 --> 01:55:05,000
Tell me, if you were in my position,
what would you do?

1589
01:55:05,100 --> 01:55:07,100
What position is that?

1590
01:55:07,300 --> 01:55:10,900
Imagine your husband
bought a gold necklace

1591
01:55:11,100 --> 01:55:14,100
and, come Christmas,
gave it to somebody else.

1592
01:55:14,200 --> 01:55:16,900
- Oh, Karen...
- Would you wait around to find out...

1593
01:55:17,100 --> 01:55:19,600
- Good night.
- Night, darling. Happy Christmas.

1594
01:55:19,800 --> 01:55:22,600
Would you wait around to find out
if it's just a necklace

1595
01:55:22,900 --> 01:55:25,200
or if it's sex and a necklace

1596
01:55:25,300 --> 01:55:28,900
or if, worst of all, it's a necklace and love?

1597
01:55:30,300 --> 01:55:35,200
Would you stay? Knowing life
would always be a little bit worse?

1598
01:55:35,500 --> 01:55:38,900
- Or would you cut and run?
- Oh, God.

1599
01:55:43,600 --> 01:55:46,300
I am so in the wrong.

1600
01:55:46,400 --> 01:55:48,400
A classic fool.

1601
01:55:48,600 --> 01:55:51,600
Yes, but you've also made a fool out of me.

1602
01:55:51,800 --> 01:55:54,500
You've made the life I lead foolish, too.

1603
01:55:57,100 --> 01:56:00,000
Darling. Ooh, darlings!

1604
01:56:00,100 --> 01:56:03,200
Oh, you were wonderful.

1605
01:56:03,400 --> 01:56:06,300
My little lobster, you were so...

1606
01:56:06,400 --> 01:56:08,600
What is that word?

1607
01:56:08,800 --> 01:56:10,900
Orange.

1608
01:56:11,100 --> 01:56:14,100
Come on, I've got treats at home.
Dad's coming.

1609
01:56:15,700 --> 01:56:20,200
Sammy! Fantastic show!
Classic drumming, son.

1610
01:56:20,500 --> 01:56:24,400
- Thanks. Plan didn't work, though.
- Tell her, then.

1611
01:56:24,600 --> 01:56:26,400
- Tell her what?
- That you love her.

1612
01:56:26,600 --> 01:56:29,400
No way. Anyway, they fly tonight.

1613
01:56:29,600 --> 01:56:34,700
Even better. Sam, you've got nothing to lose
and you'll always regret it if you don't.

1614
01:56:36,500 --> 01:56:38,700
I never told your mum enough.

1615
01:56:38,800 --> 01:56:43,100
I should have told her every day
because she was perfect every day.

1616
01:56:44,400 --> 01:56:48,500
You've seen the films, kiddo.
It ain't over till it's over.

1617
01:56:50,700 --> 01:56:55,200
OK, Dad. Let's do it. Let's go get the shit
kicked out of us by love.

1618
01:56:55,500 --> 01:56:57,700
Yes.

1619
01:56:57,900 --> 01:57:00,100
- Just give me one sec.
- Yeah.

1620
01:57:01,700 --> 01:57:04,400
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Sorry.

1621
01:57:04,600 --> 01:57:06,600
That's OK.

1622
01:57:06,800 --> 01:57:10,100
- My fault.
- No, no, really, it wasn't.

1623
01:57:10,400 --> 01:57:13,200
You're Sam's dad, aren't you?

1624
01:57:13,300 --> 01:57:16,100
Yeah. Stepdad, actually.

1625
01:57:16,200 --> 01:57:19,000
- Daniel.
- I'm Carol.

1626
01:57:19,100 --> 01:57:20,800
Carol.

1627
01:57:21,000 --> 01:57:25,200
- OK, I'm back. Let's go.
- Yeah. Well...

1628
01:57:26,700 --> 01:57:28,900
I hope we'll meet again, Karen.

1629
01:57:29,100 --> 01:57:31,200
Carol. (Laughs)

1630
01:57:32,700 --> 01:57:37,200
- I'll make sure we do.
- Yeah? Good.

1631
01:57:38,900 --> 01:57:40,900
(Carol laughs)

1632
01:57:45,200 --> 01:57:47,200
- Tell her.
- What?

1633
01:57:47,300 --> 01:57:50,200
- You know...
- Don't be such an arse.

1634
01:57:53,900 --> 01:57:56,000
- Look, there she is.
- Where?

1635
01:57:56,100 --> 01:57:58,300
Over there.

1636
01:58:00,300 --> 01:58:02,200
Oh, no.

1637
01:58:03,400 --> 01:58:06,300
It's OK, we'll go to the airport.
I know a short cut.

1638
01:58:21,600 --> 01:58:23,700
(Portuguese) Good evening.

1639
01:58:23,800 --> 01:58:26,700
- Senhor Barros?
- Sim.

1640
01:58:26,900 --> 01:58:30,400
I am here to ask your daughter

1641
01:58:30,700 --> 01:58:32,500
for her hands in marriage.

1642
01:58:32,600 --> 01:58:34,700
You want to marry my daughter?

1643
01:58:34,900 --> 01:58:36,700
Yes.

1644
01:58:36,900 --> 01:58:38,300
Come here,

1645
01:58:38,400 --> 01:58:39,900
there is a man at the door.

1646
01:58:41,500 --> 01:58:43,600
He wants to marry you.

1647
01:58:43,800 --> 01:58:45,100
But I've never seen him before.

1648
01:58:45,100 --> 01:58:46,500
Who cares?

1649
01:58:46,600 --> 01:58:48,800
You're going to sell me
to a complete stranger?

1650
01:58:48,900 --> 01:58:51,800
Sell? Who said sell? I'll pay him.

1651
01:58:52,000 --> 01:58:56,500
Pardon me. I'm meaning
your other daughter - Aurelia.

1652
01:58:56,800 --> 01:59:00,400
She's not here - she's at work. I'll take you.

1653
01:59:00,600 --> 01:59:02,100
You! Stay here.

1654
01:59:02,100 --> 01:59:04,900
As if I would. Stupid!

1655
01:59:08,000 --> 01:59:12,600
Father is about to sell Aurelia
as a slave to this Englishman.

1656
01:59:16,600 --> 01:59:18,600
Wait. Wait.

1657
01:59:22,100 --> 01:59:23,400
Oh, no.

1658
01:59:25,000 --> 01:59:26,800
You better not say yes, Father.

1659
01:59:26,900 --> 01:59:29,800
Shut up, Miss Dunkin' Donut 2003.

1660
01:59:35,000 --> 01:59:38,500
- Look, we're not actually flying.
- You can't come through.

1661
01:59:38,600 --> 01:59:42,900
Not even to let the boy say goodbye
to the love of his life?

1662
01:59:44,800 --> 01:59:46,700
No.

1663
01:59:48,900 --> 01:59:52,000
- I'm sorry, Sam.
- Boarding pass, sir?

1664
01:59:52,100 --> 01:59:55,600
Just a moment, I know I've got it.
Would you hang on to that?

1665
01:59:55,700 --> 01:59:57,700
- Unless...
- What?

1666
01:59:57,800 --> 02:00:00,300
- Do you want to make a run for it?
- Hold on to that.

1667
02:00:00,400 --> 02:00:02,900
- You think I should?
- Yeah.

1668
02:00:03,700 --> 02:00:06,600
- OK.
- Yes!

1669
02:00:06,800 --> 02:00:11,000
I must have left them
where I was having a cup of coffee.

1670
02:00:28,400 --> 02:00:31,000
(Beeping)

1671
02:01:13,000 --> 02:01:15,500
(Inaudible through glass)

1672
02:01:16,800 --> 02:01:19,100
(Chattering excitedly)

1673
02:01:23,900 --> 02:01:26,500
Apparently he is going to kill Aurelia.

1674
02:01:26,700 --> 02:01:28,800
Cool!

1675
02:02:03,200 --> 02:02:05,100
Joanna.

1676
02:02:06,300 --> 02:02:08,200
Sam?

1677
02:02:11,500 --> 02:02:15,700
- I thought you didn't know my name.
- Course I do.

1678
02:02:15,900 --> 02:02:19,400
Oh, Jesus. Here, I've gotta run.

1679
02:03:12,100 --> 02:03:14,600
- (Portuguese) Where is Aurelia?
- Why should I tell you?

1680
02:03:14,700 --> 02:03:16,700
This man wants to marry her.

1681
02:03:16,800 --> 02:03:19,500
He can't do that - she's our best waitress.

1682
02:03:38,500 --> 02:03:40,300
Boa noite, Aurelia.

1683
02:03:41,800 --> 02:03:43,800
Boa noite, Jamie.

1684
02:03:59,200 --> 02:04:02,100
Beautiful Aurelia...

1685
02:04:02,200 --> 02:04:06,300
I've come here with a view to asking you...

1686
02:04:07,500 --> 02:04:09,600
to marriage me.

1687
02:04:11,100 --> 02:04:15,700
I know I seems an insane person
because I hardly knows you

1688
02:04:17,600 --> 02:04:24,300
but sometimes things are so transparency,

1689
02:04:25,900 --> 02:04:29,200
they don't need evidential proof.

1690
02:04:31,200 --> 02:04:37,000
And I will inhabit here,
or you can inhabit with me in England.

1691
02:04:37,300 --> 02:04:39,700
Definitely go for England, girl.

1692
02:04:39,900 --> 02:04:43,000
You'll meet Prince William -
then you can marry him instead.

1693
02:04:44,100 --> 02:04:49,900
Of course I don't expecting you
to be as foolish as me,

1694
02:04:51,000 --> 02:04:55,500
and of course I prediction you say no...

1695
02:04:56,900 --> 02:05:04,400
but it's Christmas
and I just wanted to... check.

1696
02:05:09,000 --> 02:05:12,500
Oh, God - say yes, you skinny moron.

1697
02:05:15,400 --> 02:05:17,300
(English) Thank you.

1698
02:05:19,300 --> 02:05:21,300
That will be nice.

1699
02:05:23,600 --> 02:05:26,300
Yes is being my answer.

1700
02:05:28,000 --> 02:05:30,200
Easy question.

1701
02:05:30,400 --> 02:05:32,800
(Portuguese) What did you say?

1702
02:05:32,900 --> 02:05:34,200
Yes, of course.

1703
02:05:34,600 --> 02:05:36,900
(Cheering)

1704
02:05:37,100 --> 02:05:39,300
Bravo!

1705
02:06:04,700 --> 02:06:06,800
(English) You learned English?

1706
02:06:07,500 --> 02:06:09,600
Just in cases.

1707
02:06:26,100 --> 02:06:28,900
((Music) Beach Boys: God Only Knows)

1708
02:06:43,200 --> 02:06:45,900
(Music) I may not always love you

1709
02:06:47,000 --> 02:06:50,400
(Music) But long as there are stars above you... (Music)

1710
02:06:50,500 --> 02:06:51,900
Hello, Daisy.

1711
02:06:52,100 --> 02:06:54,900
- This one's Greta.
- Hello, Greta.

1712
02:06:55,100 --> 02:06:57,300
(Music) I'll make you so sure about it... (Music)

1713
02:06:57,500 --> 02:07:01,400
Here she is. This is Aurelia.
This is Juliet. This is Peter.

1714
02:07:01,600 --> 02:07:04,600
- Mark, didn't see you there.
- Just thought I'd tag along.

1715
02:07:04,800 --> 02:07:07,600
Jamie's friends are so good-Iooking.

1716
02:07:07,800 --> 02:07:10,000
He never tells me this.

1717
02:07:10,100 --> 02:07:13,100
I think maybe now
I have made the wrong choice,

1718
02:07:13,400 --> 02:07:15,000
picked wrong Englishman.

1719
02:07:15,100 --> 02:07:17,200
She can't speak English properly.

1720
02:07:18,200 --> 02:07:20,300
(Daisy) Dad! Dad!

1721
02:07:22,500 --> 02:07:24,000
Oh, God.

1722
02:07:24,200 --> 02:07:27,300
- Did you get us any presents?
- Matter of fact, I did.

1723
02:07:27,400 --> 02:07:29,800
(Bernie) Thanks, Dad.

1724
02:07:32,400 --> 02:07:35,400
- How are you?
- I'm fine. I'm fine.

1725
02:07:37,600 --> 02:07:39,700
Good to have you back.

1726
02:07:39,800 --> 02:07:42,100
Come on. Home.

1727
02:07:45,100 --> 02:07:47,100
There she is.

1728
02:07:48,500 --> 02:07:52,100
- Hi.
- Hello.

1729
02:07:52,400 --> 02:07:56,300
- Aw, he should have kissed her.
- No, that's cool.

1730
02:07:58,400 --> 02:08:01,800
- All right?
- Hey. What are you two doing here?

1731
02:08:01,900 --> 02:08:04,400
- I might get a shag at last.
- Naughty.

1732
02:08:04,600 --> 02:08:07,900
- Got to go.
- Bye.

1733
02:08:08,100 --> 02:08:09,900
Yahoo!

1734
02:08:13,100 --> 02:08:15,500
Now, this is Harriet.

1735
02:08:16,600 --> 02:08:21,100
- Hi. Really pleased to meet you.
- Hello, Harriet.

1736
02:08:21,400 --> 02:08:25,100
I hope you don't mind,
I sort of brought my sister to stay.

1737
02:08:27,100 --> 02:08:31,300
This is Carla. She's real friendly.

1738
02:08:31,600 --> 02:08:33,800
Hello, you must be Tony.

1739
02:08:35,700 --> 02:08:37,700
I heard you were gorgeous.

1740
02:08:37,900 --> 02:08:40,600
(Music) God only knows
what I'd be without you... (Music)

1741
02:08:40,700 --> 02:08:42,500
(Press shouting)

1742
02:08:42,700 --> 02:08:46,200
(Music) God only knows what I'd be without you

1743
02:08:46,500 --> 02:08:49,900
(Music) God only knows
what I'd be without you... (Music)

1744
02:08:50,100 --> 02:08:52,500
- God, you weigh a lot.
- Oh, shut your face.

1745
02:08:53,800 --> 02:08:57,700
(Music) God only knows what I'd be without you
(Music) God only knows

1746
02:08:57,900 --> 02:09:01,600
(Music) God only knows what I'd be without you

1747
02:09:01,900 --> 02:09:05,600
(Music) God only knows what I'd be without you
(Music) God only knows

1748
02:09:05,800 --> 02:09:09,600
(Music) God only knows what I'd be without you

1749
02:09:09,700 --> 02:09:13,700
(Music) God only knows what I'd be without you
(Music) God only knows

1750
02:09:14,000 --> 02:09:17,300
(Music) God only knows what I'd be without you

1751
02:09:17,500 --> 02:09:21,500
(Music) God only knows what I'd be without you
(Music) God only knows

1752
02:09:21,700 --> 02:09:25,400
(Music) God only knows what I'd be without you

1753
02:09:25,700 --> 02:09:29,500
(Music) God only knows what I'd be without you
(Music) God only knows

1754
02:09:29,600 --> 02:09:33,500
(Music) God only knows what I'd be without you

1755
02:09:33,800 --> 02:09:37,400
(Music) God only knows what I'd be without you
(Music) God only knows

1756
02:09:37,600 --> 02:09:41,600
(Music) God only knows what I'd be without you

1757
02:09:41,700 --> 02:09:45,300
(Music) God only knows what I'd be without you
(Music) God only knows

1758
02:09:45,500 --> 02:09:49,300
(Music) God only knows what I'd be without you

1759
02:09:49,400 --> 02:09:53,100
(Music) God only knows what I'd be without you
(Music) God only knows

1760
02:09:53,400 --> 02:09:58,300
(Music) God only knows what I'd be without you (Music)

1761
02:10:00,600 --> 02:10:02,900
((Music) Kelly Clarkson: The Trouble With Love Is)

1762
02:10:17,400 --> 02:10:20,800
(Music) Love can be a many splendored thing

1763
02:10:20,900 --> 02:10:24,900
(Music) Can't deny the joy it brings

1764
02:10:25,100 --> 02:10:28,400
(Music) A dozen roses, diamond rings

1765
02:10:28,700 --> 02:10:32,700
(Music) Dreams for sale and fairy tales

1766
02:10:32,800 --> 02:10:36,300
(Music) It'll make you hear a symphony

1767
02:10:36,600 --> 02:10:40,300
(Music) And you just want the world to see

1768
02:10:40,400 --> 02:10:43,900
(Music) But like a drug that makes you blind

1769
02:10:44,200 --> 02:10:46,400
(Music) It'll fool ya every time

1770
02:10:46,500 --> 02:10:49,900
(Music) The trouble with love is

1771
02:10:51,200 --> 02:10:55,200
(Music) It can tear you up inside

1772
02:10:55,300 --> 02:10:59,100
(Music) Make your heart believe a lie

1773
02:10:59,300 --> 02:11:02,200
(Music) It's stronger than your pride

1774
02:11:02,400 --> 02:11:06,500
(Music) The trouble with love is

1775
02:11:06,700 --> 02:11:10,800
(Music) It doesn't care how fast you fall

1776
02:11:11,000 --> 02:11:14,600
(Music) And you can't refuse the call

1777
02:11:14,700 --> 02:11:17,700
(Music) See you got no say at all

1778
02:11:19,800 --> 02:11:23,400
(Music) Now I was once a fool, it's true

1779
02:11:23,600 --> 02:11:27,500
(Music) I played the game by all the rules

1780
02:11:27,700 --> 02:11:30,900
(Music) But now my world's a deeper blue

1781
02:11:31,100 --> 02:11:34,300
(Music) I'm sadder but I'm wiser too

1782
02:11:35,400 --> 02:11:38,500
(Music) I swore I'd never love again

1783
02:11:39,300 --> 02:11:42,700
(Music) I swore my heart would never mend

1784
02:11:43,400 --> 02:11:46,600
(Music) Said love wasn't worth the pain

1785
02:11:46,900 --> 02:11:49,500
(Music) But then I hear it call my name

1786
02:11:49,600 --> 02:11:53,700
(Music) The trouble with love is

1787
02:11:53,900 --> 02:11:57,700
(Music) It can tear you up inside

1788
02:11:58,000 --> 02:12:01,700
(Music) Make your heart believe a lie

1789
02:12:01,900 --> 02:12:04,900
(Music) It's stronger than your pride

1790
02:12:05,100 --> 02:12:09,400
(Music) The trouble with love is

1791
02:12:09,600 --> 02:12:13,600
(Music) It doesn't care how fast you fall

1792
02:12:13,900 --> 02:12:17,300
(Music) And you can't refuse the call

1793
02:12:17,400 --> 02:12:20,300
(Music) See you got no say at all

1794
02:12:23,100 --> 02:12:25,800
(Music) Every time I turn around

1795
02:12:26,000 --> 02:12:29,500
(Music) I think I've got it all figured out

1796
02:12:29,600 --> 02:12:33,400
(Music) My heart keeps calling
And I keep on falling

1797
02:12:33,700 --> 02:12:37,900
(Music) Over and over again

1798
02:12:38,200 --> 02:12:42,000
(Music) The sad story always ends the same

1799
02:12:42,200 --> 02:12:44,900
(Music) Me standing in the pouring rain

1800
02:12:46,000 --> 02:12:48,900
(Music) It seems no matter what I do

1801
02:12:49,000 --> 02:12:51,800
(Music) It tears my heart in two

1802
02:12:51,900 --> 02:12:56,700
(Music) The trouble with love is
(Music) The trouble with love

1803
02:12:57,000 --> 02:13:00,500
(Music) It can tear you up inside
(Music) It can tear you up inside

1804
02:13:00,800 --> 02:13:05,100
(Music) Make your heart believe a lie
(Music) Make your heart believe a lie

1805
02:13:05,400 --> 02:13:07,600
(Music) It's stronger than your pride

1806
02:13:07,800 --> 02:13:12,500
(Music) The trouble with love is
(Music) It's in your heart, it's in your soul

1807
02:13:12,800 --> 02:13:16,000
(Music) It doesn't care how fast you fall
(Music) You're losing that control

1808
02:13:16,100 --> 02:13:19,900
(Music) And you can't refuse the call

1809
02:13:20,200 --> 02:13:23,100
(Music) See you got no say at all

1810
02:13:23,200 --> 02:13:27,900
(Music) The trouble with love is
(Music) Ooh, yeah

1811
02:13:28,200 --> 02:13:32,200
(Music) It can tear you up inside
(Music) Ooh (Music)

1812
02:13:32,500 --> 02:13:34,500
((Music) Girls Aloud: Jump)

1813
02:13:39,600 --> 02:13:44,900
(Music) Your eyes tell me how you want me

1814
02:13:45,100 --> 02:13:48,400
(Music) I can feel it in your heartbeat

1815
02:13:48,600 --> 02:13:52,100
(Music) You're so excited
I can feel you getting hotter

1816
02:13:52,400 --> 02:13:54,100
(Music) Oh baby

1817
02:13:54,300 --> 02:13:58,700
(Music) I'll take you down, I'll take you down

1818
02:13:59,000 --> 02:14:01,300
(Music) Where no one's ever gone before

1819
02:14:01,500 --> 02:14:03,300
(Music) And if you want more

1820
02:14:03,400 --> 02:14:07,300
(Music) If you want more, more, more

1821
02:14:07,600 --> 02:14:11,000
(Music) Then jump for my love

1822
02:14:11,300 --> 02:14:13,000
(Music) Jump in

1823
02:14:13,000 --> 02:14:14,900
(Music) And feel my touch

1824
02:14:15,100 --> 02:14:18,200
(Music) Jump
(Music) If you want to taste my kisses in the night

1825
02:14:18,500 --> 02:14:22,500
(Music) Then jump for my love

1826
02:14:22,600 --> 02:14:25,400
(Music) I know my heart
(Music) I know my heart can make you happy

1827
02:14:25,700 --> 02:14:29,100
(Music) Jump in
(Music) You know these arms can fill you up

1828
02:14:29,300 --> 02:14:32,600
(Music) Jump
(Music) If you want to taste my kisses in the night

1829
02:14:32,800 --> 02:14:36,300
(Music) Then jump for my love (Music)