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00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:18,369
NARRATOR: There are
gajillions of stories
of mischief and fun,

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00:01:18,454 --> 00:01:23,040
but to keep things simple,
let's start with just one

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00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:27,920
about a mom and two kids
and a house and a hat

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00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:31,883
that, oddly enough,
was worn by a cat.

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00:01:32,468 --> 00:01:36,429
But soon enough
we will get to all that.

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00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:40,433
In the valley that stretches
from this hill to that hill,

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00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,393
a city is nestled.

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00:01:42,478 --> 00:01:45,730
That city is Anville.

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00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:46,939
BOY: Hurry up!
We'll miss the movie!

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00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,065
Any more tutti-frutti?

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00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:49,108
I'll check.
Thanks!

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00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:53,446
It's a town that's not huge,
but quite big enough

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00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:57,408
for buyers and sellers
to sell and buy stuff,

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00:01:57,493 --> 00:02:01,954
from shoes and shirts
and elongated ladders

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00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:06,751
to sailboats
and gibble-grated
berry-juice bladders.

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00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:13,090
So our story
begins at the corner
of Main and Montroob

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00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:15,718
in the spotless
real estate office

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00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:19,180
run by Hank Humberfloob.

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00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:20,807
WOMAN:
Humberfloob Real Estate.

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00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,558
How can we make
your dreams come true?

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00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:25,561
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

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What do you mean,
you're leaving?

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00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,318
You're a babysitter.

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00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,153
Babysitters don't leave.
They sit.

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00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:35,947
Baby-leavers leave.

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00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:37,782
AMY: I'm sorry. I really
gotta go, Miss Walden.

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Well, I need to
come home right away.

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I forgot.

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00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,328
All right.
Thank you, Amy.

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00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:43,412
Sorry.

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00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:50,002
Attention, everyone.
It's 9:02.

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00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:52,338
Staff meeting.
Staff meeting.

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00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,340
(ALL MUTTERING)

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00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:57,510
First I'd like
to welcome aboard

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00:02:57,594 --> 00:03:00,847
our newest member
of the Humberfloob family,

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00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,932
Jim McFlinnagan!

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00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:05,142
(ALL GASPING)
Mr. Humberfloob,
I wanted to thank you...

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00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:07,186
Fired.
I beg your pardon?

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00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:08,980
Fired.

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00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:10,064
But I...

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00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:14,610
Fired!

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00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:26,414
As you know, tonight is our
bimonthly Meet & Greet party.

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00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:29,458
Tonight's host
is Joan Walden.

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00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,543
(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)

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00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:33,588
This is where people can
meet our real estate agents

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00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:37,633
in an informal,
yet hygienic setting.

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00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:41,178
Mr. Humberfloob, I have
to get home to my kids.

48
00:03:42,598 --> 00:03:43,973
Ah, yes.

49
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,852
Your children.

50
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:52,481
Joan, let me make
this perfectly clear.

51
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:55,860
If your house is as
messy as last time,

52
00:03:57,321 --> 00:04:01,616
you're fired!

53
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:06,329
That's pretty clear,
Mr. Humberfloob.

54
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,914
Don't worry. I promise,

55
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:10,333
my kids'll be on
their best behavior.

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00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,085
Great.

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00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:15,922
(PHONE RINGING)

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00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:17,548
WOMAN:
Humberfloob Real Estate.

59
00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:19,091
How can we make
your dreams come true?

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00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,343
Please hold.

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00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:24,639
NARRATOR: If you
leave Humberfloob's
and turn left onto Main,

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00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:29,018
three miles down
you'll find Lipplapper Lane,

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00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:32,605
a pleasant-enough street
in a pleasant-enough way

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00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:36,943
where a neighbor
greeted neighbor
with a neighborly "Hey!"

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00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:38,527
WOMAN: Hey!
MAN: Hey!

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00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:42,990
Here the hedges were hedged,
the weeds were all weeded,

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00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:48,162
and lawns were mowed daily,
twice daily if needed.

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00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:53,042
And at the end
of this street,
in a house like any other,

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00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:58,005
something
magical would happen
to a sister and her brother.

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00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:00,508
(BARKING)

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00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:08,849
(SHUSHING)

72
00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:10,851
Nevins, stealth mode.

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00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:12,645
Today's to-do list.

74
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,730
Number one:
Make to-do list.

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00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,483
Number two:
Practice coloring.

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00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:20,319
Number three:
Research graduate schools.

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00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,072
Number four:
Be spontaneous.

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00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,492
Number five:
Create lasting
childhood memories.

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00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:29,453
And number six: Amend will.

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00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:33,749
What is he doing?

81
00:05:51,727 --> 00:05:54,603
Number 1 0:
Make tomorrow's to-do list.

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00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,443
Ladies and gentlemen!

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00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,486
Nevins,
your attention, please.

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00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:05,656
You are about to
witness the third
most spectacular stunt

85
00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:08,117
ever performed
under this roof!

86
00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:10,077
Do you know
how hard it's getting

87
00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:12,163
to tell people
that we're related?

88
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:15,124
Relax.
I'll put everything back.

89
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:28,304
And now,
for the indoor stair luge!

90
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,389
Indoor stair luge?

91
00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:32,558
I'll have to add
this one to my list.

92
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:35,394
Go have no fun
somewhere else.

93
00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:39,148
It is showtime!

94
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:43,360
Whoa!

95
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:52,411
WOMAN: Oh, my word!

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00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:55,498
Nevins!

97
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:58,209
Nevins, come back!

98
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,630
Hey, Mom. What's up?

99
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,969
You are so lucky you
didn't ruin this dress.

100
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:13,224
Mom, I know you're angry,
but there's something
you need to know.

101
00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:15,101
This was all
Sally's fault.

102
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:16,227
Oh, really?

103
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,437
And how, exactly,
was it Sally's fault?

104
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:20,606
Give me a minute.
I'm working on it.

105
00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:22,191
Save it, Conrad.

106
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:26,445
Why today? Why did
you have to pick today
to destroy the house?

107
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:28,280
You know
what's happening today.

108
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,157
I tried to tell him, Mom.

109
00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:32,660
"Mom's throwing a very
important party," I said.

110
00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:34,954
"All of her important
clients will be here."

111
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:36,997
But he went right ahead
and wrecked the house,

112
00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:38,624
and let Nevins get away.

113
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:41,460
Now, again, I hope
you're going to ground him.

114
00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:43,254
Yes, Sally, for a week,

115
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:44,505
but that's none
of your business.

116
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,006
A week?
Come on. Two days.

117
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:50,469
I asked you to do one
thing today, Conrad,
keep the house clean.

118
00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:51,929
Do you know how
frustrating it is

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00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:55,432
that you're always doing
the exact opposite of
what I say?

120
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,017
QUINN: Knock, knock, knock.

121
00:07:57,561 --> 00:07:59,228
Someone lose a dog?

122
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:04,567
I found him next door
in my yard, again.

123
00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:06,402
You are a saint.

124
00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:09,655
And here I thought you
were only dating me
for my good looks.

125
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:12,241
Lucky us.
Larry Quinn is here.

126
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:15,411
Hey-a, sport.
Call me Lawrence. Okay?

127
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:18,789
You rescued Nevins.
Thanks, Lawrence.

128
00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:20,082
It was my pleasure, Sally.

129
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,667
Anything for
my little princess.

130
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:22,918
Oh, I don't
wanna be a princess.

131
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,461
In a constitutional monarchy,

132
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:26,422
parliament has
all the real power.

133
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:30,092
I see.
Okay, that's great.

134
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:31,844
Look, pal, be a sport.

135
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:34,555
Why don't you go
tidy up the living room.

136
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,307
Okay, dude?

137
00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:38,017
I don't have to
listen to you, Larry.

138
00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:40,436
Conrad,
do what Lawrence says.

139
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:57,661
Have you given
some thought about
the Wilhelm Academy?

140
00:08:57,787 --> 00:09:01,373
You mean the
Colonel Wilhelm Military
Academy for Troubled Youth?

141
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:03,918
That's the one, Joan.

142
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,629
I'm not sure
it's right for Conrad.

143
00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:09,506
Oh, Joan, Joan.

144
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,718
Joan, Joan, Joan.

145
00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:16,597
I have so much
respect for you, Joan.

146
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:20,601
Single mother,
career woman, raising
two children on your own,

147
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:24,813
and still finding time
to be the best darned
real estate agent in town.

148
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:29,360
I know
how hard it is, Joan.

149
00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:30,611
It is hard.

150
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,738
Oh, I know.

151
00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:36,158
And I know how
hard you're trying.

152
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:39,578
This is a once-in-a-
lifetime proposition,

153
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:40,996
and you must act now.

154
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:43,415
The Colonel Wilhelm
Military Academy
for Troubled Youth

155
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,210
is what we call
in the sales game
a win-win scenario.

156
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:47,753
A top-flight
military school,

157
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:51,006
and it's only
eight hours away.

158
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:53,842
(PHONE RINGING)

159
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:56,053
Oh, the phone.

160
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,230
I heard what you said.

161
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:08,816
I'm not going to
military school, Larry.

162
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,734
Look, buddy,

163
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:13,696
I know I'm not your dad,

164
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:16,949
and this is probably
really strange for you,

165
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,868
your neighbor's
dating your mom.

166
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,538
But here's the thing, son.
Come here.

167
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:25,374
I don't like you, either.

168
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,751
But I'm gonna marry your mom.

169
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:31,630
And if it was up to me,
you'd be at
military school today.

170
00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:34,633
I'm not going to
military school.

171
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:36,635
I think you're gonna love it.

172
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:40,889
It's just like summer camp,
except with brutal forced
marches

173
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,891
and soul-crushing discipline.

174
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,352
And one more thing,
it's Lawrence,

175
00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:48,480
you snot-nosed son
of a wonderful woman

176
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,649
who I'm absolutely
crazy about!

177
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:51,984
Gosh, I love children!

178
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,736
Oh, Joan,
I didn't see you there.

179
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:55,571
Would you be
a doll and help me

180
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,281
bring up chairs
from the basement?

181
00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,117
Nothing would give me
more pleasure, Joan,
but I do have to run.

182
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:02,703
I have a very important
sales conference downtown.

183
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,747
Oh. Okay.

184
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,749
Well, I'll see you
at the party tonight.

185
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,083
Sure.

186
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:32,691
Mom,
that guy's a total phony.

187
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:33,734
You can't let Larry...

188
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,194
It's Lawrence, Conrad.

189
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:36,612
(DOORBELL RINGING)

190
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:40,032
Kate's Catering.
I'm here to do
your party tonight.

191
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,409
Oh, hi. Where's Kate?

192
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:43,827
I'm Kate.

193
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,496
Oh. Okay.

194
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,581
Right this way, Kate.

195
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,334
Quiet!

196
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:51,752
Two weeks ago
you said you would...

197
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:52,878
(JOAN YELLING)

198
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,380
I "specialed" it. See?

199
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:56,423
Quiet! Nevins!

200
00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,802
I said quiet!

201
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:04,890
Joan Walden Real Estate.

202
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,434
Be it ever so humble,
there's no place like Joan.

203
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,561
This is Mr. Humberfloob.

204
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,397
Oh, hi, Mr. Humberfloob.

205
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,315
Joan, I need you to
come back to the office.

206
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:15,651
Today?
Yes, Joan.

207
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,069
No problem?

208
00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:18,570
No problem at all.

209
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:19,822
Great!

210
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:23,534
What's going on, Mommy?

211
00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:26,453
Mommy has to go
back to the office.

212
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:29,540
Oh, I hope
Mrs. Kwan can baby-sit.

213
00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:30,916
Not Mrs. Kwan!

214
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,334
(DOORBELL RINGING)

215
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,548
Hi, Mrs. Kwan.
Hi.

216
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:40,926
I'm running late.
Thanks for baby-sitting
on such short notice.

217
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,177
Yeah.

218
00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:44,138
Okay, Mrs. Kwan.

219
00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:46,223
I'll be back in
a couple of hours.

220
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:47,266
Hi.

221
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:51,103
Conrad's grounded,
so no video games.

222
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,980
Sally? Last chance.

223
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:56,150
If you wanna make cupcakes,
I can take you to your
friend Ginny's house.

224
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:57,693
(SNARLING)
SALLY: Ginny's not
my friend anymore.

225
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,278
Last time
we made cupcakes,

226
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:00,988
she wanted to
be the head chef.

227
00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:02,698
I'm the head chef.

228
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,324
What about Denise, then?

229
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:07,453
She talked back to me,
so I ordered her not
to speak to me anymore.

230
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:09,037
And you don't like bossy?

231
00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,664
I won't tolerate it.

232
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:11,874
Right.

233
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:15,377
If you're both staying,
remember the rules.

234
00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:18,464
Conrad: No playing
ball in the house,
no fighting,

235
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:20,466
no answering the phone,
"City morgue"...

236
00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,551
Mommy,
can't I have some rules?

237
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:25,971
No chewing tobacco.

238
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:28,182
Thanks, Mom.
You have my word.

239
00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:33,395
And absolutely
no one sets foot
in the living room, or else.

240
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,314
Or else what?
You're gonna do
what Larry said

241
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:37,191
and send me to
military school?

242
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:40,819
Maybe if you'd just behave,
I wouldn't have to consider
military school.

243
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:42,905
I wish I could trust you.

244
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,492
I wish I had
a different mom.

245
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:50,037
Well, sometimes
I wish the same thing.

246
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:54,917
(DOOR CLOSING)

247
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,812
Good luck
with your meeting.

248
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:42,214
Children, would you like to
watch television with me?

249
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:44,091
We don't have to
tell your mother.

250
00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:45,425
(TV PLAYING)

251
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:47,844
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

252
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,765
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)

253
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:56,770
Taiwanese parliament.
Taiwanese parliament.

254
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,730
You tell them, Kwi-Chang.

255
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:00,232
No more big government.

256
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:02,943
Rip his heart out!

257
00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:16,915
Hit me!

258
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:19,626
(THUDDING)

259
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:22,713
NARRATOR: So they
slumped in their chairs,

260
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,673
too glum to complain,

261
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:29,052
and to make matters worse,
it started to rain.

262
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:36,393
They sat in the house
on that cold, cold, wet day

263
00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:40,397
with no fun to have
and no games to play.

264
00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:44,901
They could just
stare out the window
or perhaps get a nap in,

265
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:49,197
and hope that something,
anything might happen.

266
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,949
Quit bothering the fish.

267
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:53,452
I know.
"Quit bothering the fish."

268
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:54,828
Spit hand!
Oh, gross!

269
00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:56,705
Get that away from me!

270
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,208
(THUDDING)
Get it away!

271
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:01,877
NARRATOR:
Then something went bump.

272
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:02,961
What was that?

273
00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:04,046
(BARKING)

274
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:07,424
How that bump made them jump.

275
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:08,800
(THUDDING)

276
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,969
I think it came
from the closet.

277
00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,433
(THUDDING CONTINUES)

278
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:40,207
(GRUNTS)

279
00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:43,919
Conrad?

280
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,588
Conrad.

281
00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:49,675
Come on, Conrad.

282
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:51,635
(SCREAMS)

283
00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:53,387
(CHUCKLING)

284
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,182
You shouldn't scare people.

285
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,850
You should've seen
the look on your face.

286
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:00,602
It was like
you saw a monster...

287
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:03,146
A monster? Where?

288
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:04,898
(SCREAMING)

289
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:07,609
That could've gone better.

290
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,535
SALLY: What was that?
CONRAD: I don't know.

291
00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:18,161
Looked like a humongous cat.

292
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:20,372
"Humongous"?

293
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:23,959
I prefer the term
"big-boned" or "jolly."
Now, what are we hiding from?

294
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,168
(LAUGHING)

295
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:26,253
(SCREAMING)

296
00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:35,137
That was a giant cat.

297
00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:36,805
But that's impossible,
isn't it?

298
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,807
It's entirely impossible.

299
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,685
You know, I like this
hiding place a lot better.

300
00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:43,645
They'll never
find us here.

301
00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:47,232
Scream and run.

302
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:48,483
(SCREAMING)

303
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,360
And there they go.

304
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:55,240
Who are you?

305
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:56,950
Who? Me?

306
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:59,578
Why, I'm the Cat in the Hat.

307
00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:01,246
There's no doubt about that.

308
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,749
I'm a super-fun-diferous
feline

309
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:06,334
who's here to make
sure that you're...

310
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:11,298
Meeline? Key lime?

311
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,551
Turpentine?

312
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,762
I got nothing.

313
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,638
I'm not so good
with the rhyming.

314
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,474
Not really, no.

315
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:24,436
Look,
I'm a cat that can talk.

316
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,354
That should be
enough for you people!

317
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,941
I can talk!
I'm a cat! Yes!

318
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:32,277
Where did you come from?

319
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,281
How do I put this?

320
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:39,117
When a mommy cat
and a daddy cat

321
00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:41,119
love each other very much,

322
00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:42,412
they decide that...

323
00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:44,080
Oh, no, no, no, no.

324
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,082
Where did you come from?

325
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:48,376
My place!
Where do you think?

326
00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:52,339
No, how did you get here?

327
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,049
I drove!

328
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,343
Look, I've been
here two whole minutes,

329
00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:58,386
and no one has
offered me a drink.

330
00:18:58,471 --> 00:18:59,471
(EXCLAIMS)

331
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,349
Sorry, Mr. Cat.
Would you like some milk?

332
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:04,518
Milk? No!

333
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:07,354
Lactose intolerant.
Gums up the works.

334
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,565
You'll thank me later.

335
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:16,696
Hello! Surf's up!

336
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:19,324
Yeah.

337
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:20,617
(WHOOPING)

338
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:28,792
Nice spread you got here.

339
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:31,044
Homina-homina-homina-homina!

340
00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,296
Who is this?

341
00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:36,883
Oh!

342
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:39,886
That's my mom.

343
00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:41,638
Awkward, yeah.

344
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:44,641
Yes, this place will do
quite nicely, actually.
Yeah.

345
00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:48,019
Although those
drapes are a train wreck.

346
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,859
And this
is the lumpiest
couch I ever sat on.

347
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:56,570
Who is this dreadfully
uncomfortable woman?

348
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:59,114
Get off her.
That's our baby-sitter.

349
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,408
What the... Baby-sitter?

350
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,702
You don't need one
of those, do you?

351
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,543
Let me get this straight.

352
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:15,630
You pay this woman
to sit on babies?

353
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:17,966
That's disgusting!

354
00:20:19,594 --> 00:20:20,969
I'd do it for nothing!

355
00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:29,895
Now, let's see what
the old phunometer
has to say.

356
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:30,896
"Phunometer"?

357
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,606
Yeah.
It measures
how fun you are.

358
00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:40,280
Hi.

359
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:44,993
Huh?

360
00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:48,163
Oh.

361
00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:54,085
Ah, control freak. Yeah.

362
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:55,837
Now, you.

363
00:20:58,132 --> 00:20:59,758
Hi. How are you?

364
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:02,469
Whoa!

365
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:07,724
(CHUCKLING)

366
00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:10,852
Oh.

367
00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:12,938
Tap it.

368
00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:14,189
Listen, kid,

369
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,775
you can
tap it with a hammer,
it ain't gonna change.

370
00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:20,153
Just as I suspected.

371
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:22,197
You guys are
both out of whack.

372
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,866
You're a control freak,
and you're a rule-breaker.

373
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:25,992
That'll be $700.

374
00:21:26,077 --> 00:21:27,994
Who's your insurance carrier?

375
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:29,496
So, what do we do?

376
00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:31,706
Well, there are two
treatments I'd recommend.

377
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,333
One is a series
of painful shots

378
00:21:33,417 --> 00:21:35,377
injected into your
abdomen and kneecap.

379
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:39,839
And the other
involves a musical number!

380
00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:42,384
(SINGING) Me-Me-Me-Meow

381
00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:44,427
How many shots?

382
00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:48,056
"How many shots?"
Aren't you precious?

383
00:21:58,943 --> 00:22:00,402
Maestro!

384
00:22:03,781 --> 00:22:05,782
(SINGING) I know it is wet

385
00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:08,994
And the sun is not sunny

386
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:14,249
But we can have
lots of good fun
that is funny

387
00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:16,668
It's fun to have fun

388
00:22:16,752 --> 00:22:22,382
But you got to know how

389
00:22:27,722 --> 00:22:29,264
Hair ball.

390
00:22:31,225 --> 00:22:35,020
I know lots of
good tricks and I'll...

391
00:22:35,104 --> 00:22:36,980
FISH: Stop this right now!

392
00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:38,857
Who said that?
Me!

393
00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:40,316
Remember? The fish?

394
00:22:40,401 --> 00:22:44,195
Came home in a Baggie,
loved me for two weeks,
and then nothing!

395
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,447
The fish is talking!

396
00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:48,199
Well, sure, he can talk.
But is he saying anything?

397
00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:49,784
No, not really. No.

398
00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:53,038
Hey, Socks, can it!
This cat should not be here.

399
00:22:53,122 --> 00:22:55,832
He should not be about.
He should not be here
when your mother is out.

400
00:22:55,916 --> 00:22:57,834
Come on, kids.
You gonna listen to him?

401
00:22:57,918 --> 00:22:59,669
He drinks where he pees.

402
00:23:08,095 --> 00:23:10,847
There was this cat I knew
back home where I was bred

403
00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:13,767
He never listened to
a single thing his mother said

404
00:23:13,851 --> 00:23:16,644
He never used the litter box
He made a mess in the hall

405
00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:20,482
That's why they
sent him to a vet
To cut off both his ba...

406
00:23:20,691 --> 00:23:22,817
Ba, ba...

407
00:23:23,652 --> 00:23:26,196
Boy, that wasn't
fun, fun, fun

408
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,907
He never learns
You can have fun, fun, fun

409
00:23:28,991 --> 00:23:29,991
But less is more

410
00:23:30,076 --> 00:23:32,911
They may ship
you off to school
so rein it in a little

411
00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:35,705
We can't spell "fun"
without "U" in the middle

412
00:23:35,790 --> 00:23:38,917
Children, this cat is
currently in violation of...

413
00:23:39,001 --> 00:23:40,710
1 7 of your mother's rules.

414
00:23:40,795 --> 00:23:42,420
City morgue!
Eighteen!

415
00:23:45,132 --> 00:23:46,633
(PEOPLE CHEERING)

416
00:23:50,179 --> 00:23:51,387
Olé!

417
00:23:51,472 --> 00:23:52,472
(BULL BRAYING)

418
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:02,690
You can juggle work and play
but you have to know the way

419
00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:05,527
You can keep or float a wish
like the way I do this fish

420
00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:08,404
You can be a happy fella
Someone throw me that umbrella

421
00:24:08,489 --> 00:24:10,949
And that rake, that cake
Life's what you make it

422
00:24:11,033 --> 00:24:13,118
So have fun, fun, fun

423
00:24:13,202 --> 00:24:16,037
Go insane and have
some fun, fun, fun

424
00:24:16,122 --> 00:24:18,873
Just look at me
Fun, fun, fun

425
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:21,543
No more rain
Look, it's the sun, sun, sun

426
00:24:21,627 --> 00:24:24,045
So can't you see
I'm as happy as a clam

427
00:24:24,130 --> 00:24:25,463
I'm as fit as a fiddle

428
00:24:25,548 --> 00:24:27,215
Yeah,
the dogs may bark about you

429
00:24:27,341 --> 00:24:28,967
And the purebred
chaps may doubt you

430
00:24:29,051 --> 00:24:30,760
FISH: Getting motion sickness!

431
00:24:31,137 --> 00:24:33,138
Milk? Big mistake.

432
00:24:34,223 --> 00:24:36,432
But remember this
You can't have
fun without "U"...

433
00:24:36,517 --> 00:24:37,892
I can't breathe!

434
00:24:39,019 --> 00:24:40,103
Whoa!

435
00:24:40,938 --> 00:24:43,148
I knew that milk would
come back to haunt me.

436
00:24:43,232 --> 00:24:44,399
Help! Help!

437
00:24:44,650 --> 00:24:46,693
(BURPING)

438
00:24:53,993 --> 00:25:00,290
"U" in the middle

439
00:25:04,086 --> 00:25:05,336
Bravo, Cat.

440
00:25:05,421 --> 00:25:07,547
Huh?
These children
are smart enough

441
00:25:07,631 --> 00:25:09,257
not to fall for
your MTV-style flash

442
00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:11,926
at the expense of
content and moral values.

443
00:25:12,219 --> 00:25:13,511
That was wicked cool.

444
00:25:13,637 --> 00:25:14,971
Do it again.

445
00:25:15,055 --> 00:25:18,308
I'd love to,
but Shamu is right.
I really should be going.

446
00:25:18,392 --> 00:25:19,350
No, don't go.

447
00:25:19,435 --> 00:25:21,144
No, I should go.

448
00:25:21,228 --> 00:25:24,189
I should let
you and the fish have all
your fun conjugating verbs,

449
00:25:24,273 --> 00:25:26,357
cleaning your room,
doing long division.

450
00:25:26,442 --> 00:25:28,568
No, you have to stay.

451
00:25:29,278 --> 00:25:30,904
All right, I'll stay.
Oh, yeah!

452
00:25:30,988 --> 00:25:31,946
Yeah!

453
00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:35,283
But if I'm gonna stay,
there's something
I wanna show you.

454
00:25:35,492 --> 00:25:39,787
Something magical
and full of wonder.

455
00:25:41,707 --> 00:25:43,249
It's called a contract.

456
00:25:43,792 --> 00:25:45,043
You want us to sign this?

457
00:25:45,127 --> 00:25:47,212
Just a formality, really.
Yeah.

458
00:25:47,296 --> 00:25:48,713
Who are they?

459
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:53,051
Magical time-traveling elves.

460
00:25:54,011 --> 00:25:55,887
Yeah. Magic.

461
00:25:59,266 --> 00:26:01,059
Okay, they're my lawyers.

462
00:26:01,143 --> 00:26:03,228
Liability issues,
litigious society,

463
00:26:03,312 --> 00:26:05,396
frivolous lawsuits.
You understand.

464
00:26:05,481 --> 00:26:07,232
Basically,
this contract guarantees

465
00:26:07,316 --> 00:26:09,025
you can have all
the fun you want,

466
00:26:09,109 --> 00:26:11,486
and nothing bad's
ever gonna happen.

467
00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:12,570
All the fun we want?

468
00:26:12,655 --> 00:26:13,655
Yeah.

469
00:26:13,739 --> 00:26:14,822
Nothing bad will happen?

470
00:26:14,907 --> 00:26:15,990
No.

471
00:26:16,909 --> 00:26:20,370
Come on, Sal,
for once in your life
try something spontaneous.

472
00:26:22,706 --> 00:26:25,333
It goes against my
better instincts, but...

473
00:26:27,336 --> 00:26:28,753
Fine.

474
00:26:28,837 --> 00:26:30,546
Beautiful. Initial here.

475
00:26:30,631 --> 00:26:32,840
And here. And here.

476
00:26:32,925 --> 00:26:34,175
Not here!

477
00:26:35,844 --> 00:26:37,262
Turn it over.

478
00:26:38,514 --> 00:26:39,681
This is nothing.

479
00:26:41,016 --> 00:26:42,225
Scratch this.

480
00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:43,851
Smell that! Terrific.

481
00:26:43,936 --> 00:26:45,853
Yadee-yadee-yadee.

482
00:26:46,021 --> 00:26:47,397
Sign the bottom.

483
00:26:49,316 --> 00:26:51,359
Great! Okay, gimme five!

484
00:26:54,238 --> 00:26:55,363
Four.

485
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,702
Let's get this party started!

486
00:27:01,161 --> 00:27:03,329
Hey, check out this room!

487
00:27:05,374 --> 00:27:06,416
What now?

488
00:27:06,500 --> 00:27:09,460
Mom says
we're not allowed in the
living room today, or else.

489
00:27:09,545 --> 00:27:11,129
She's worried
we'll mess up the couches

490
00:27:11,255 --> 00:27:12,880
by jumping
on 'em or something.

491
00:27:12,965 --> 00:27:16,259
And she's right.
You can't jump on these.

492
00:27:16,343 --> 00:27:18,803
Not like this.
They need some adjustment.

493
00:27:18,887 --> 00:27:20,179
(CAT WHOOPING)

494
00:27:22,266 --> 00:27:25,226
Let's take
a look under the hood.

495
00:27:26,895 --> 00:27:27,979
Yeah.

496
00:27:28,814 --> 00:27:30,231
Use my jack.

497
00:27:30,274 --> 00:27:32,191
(FARTING)
Sorry.

498
00:27:32,276 --> 00:27:34,193
What have we got here?
Whew.

499
00:27:36,613 --> 00:27:38,489
Here we go.

500
00:27:39,116 --> 00:27:41,993
It's oversized.
That's unusual.

501
00:27:42,619 --> 00:27:43,703
Here it is.

502
00:27:44,413 --> 00:27:45,455
(ELEPHANT TRUMPETING)

503
00:27:45,539 --> 00:27:49,292
Down, Simba!
Down, Simba!
Get out of here!

504
00:27:50,919 --> 00:27:53,421
Spray me, would you?
You...

505
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,598
(YELPING)

506
00:28:06,101 --> 00:28:07,226
(ELEPHANT TRUMPETING)

507
00:28:07,311 --> 00:28:08,978
Thanks for the help.

508
00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:12,357
Back in a second.

509
00:28:12,441 --> 00:28:14,067
Who's your couch mechanic?

510
00:28:14,151 --> 00:28:16,569
You ought to
call Mr. Catwrench.

511
00:28:16,653 --> 00:28:18,071
(GRUNTS)

512
00:28:18,155 --> 00:28:20,573
My fur! My fur! My fur!

513
00:28:24,495 --> 00:28:27,163
That ought to do it.
Whoo!

514
00:28:41,303 --> 00:28:44,305
Come on, kids.
I could use
a little company.

515
00:28:44,390 --> 00:28:46,015
What about Mom's party?

516
00:28:46,100 --> 00:28:48,101
What about it?
We signed the contract.

517
00:28:48,394 --> 00:28:49,894
(WHOOPING)

518
00:28:52,689 --> 00:28:54,399
One cushion left, Sally.

519
00:28:54,483 --> 00:28:57,235
She'll never do it.
She doesn't know
how to have fun.

520
00:28:57,319 --> 00:29:00,238
Fun? Sally,
you're better than fun.

521
00:29:00,322 --> 00:29:02,281
Fun is beneath you.

522
00:29:02,366 --> 00:29:03,741
Remember what
your mother told you.

523
00:29:03,826 --> 00:29:06,577
No one sets foot
in the living room...

524
00:29:06,662 --> 00:29:09,414
You know what?
Let's just watch
some flashbacks.

525
00:29:09,665 --> 00:29:14,544
Absolutely no one sets foot
in the living room, or else.

526
00:29:14,837 --> 00:29:20,466
You're fired, fired,
fired, fired, fired, fired,

527
00:29:21,510 --> 00:29:23,970
fired, fired, fired...

528
00:29:24,513 --> 00:29:26,305
And that's why...

529
00:29:30,519 --> 00:29:33,104
FISH: This is where
they buried my brother!

530
00:29:33,188 --> 00:29:34,480
CONRAD: Yeah!

531
00:29:35,524 --> 00:29:36,441
Yippee!

532
00:29:36,525 --> 00:29:37,483
Oh, yeah!

533
00:29:37,568 --> 00:29:39,068
This is amazing!

534
00:29:39,153 --> 00:29:40,611
Like being in the circus!

535
00:29:40,696 --> 00:29:42,905
Yeah, but without
those tortured animals

536
00:29:42,990 --> 00:29:45,158
or drunken clowns
that have hepatitis.

537
00:29:45,451 --> 00:29:48,077
See, kids,
I told you
we could have fun!

538
00:29:48,829 --> 00:29:52,915
The best thing is,
no one will ever know.

539
00:29:53,917 --> 00:29:57,378
Judas Priest. I can't
believe what I'm seeing!

540
00:29:57,963 --> 00:30:02,008
Oh, Mr. Quinn,
I was just telling
Conrad to get off the couch.

541
00:30:02,259 --> 00:30:04,218
Bad, Conrad. Bad.

542
00:30:04,928 --> 00:30:08,347
Sally, baby,
angel, princess,

543
00:30:08,599 --> 00:30:12,226
I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret, okay?

544
00:30:13,061 --> 00:30:15,688
Nobody likes a suck-up!

545
00:30:25,741 --> 00:30:27,408
Where's the cat?
I don't know.

546
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:33,080
(BURPS)

547
00:30:33,582 --> 00:30:34,790
Oh!

548
00:30:35,751 --> 00:30:37,293
Good bread.

549
00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:42,590
What are you two looking at?

550
00:30:47,638 --> 00:30:49,597
(SNEEZES)

551
00:30:50,599 --> 00:30:52,558
Is there a cat in here?

552
00:30:52,893 --> 00:30:54,435
(SNEEZING CONTINUES)

553
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:58,147
I'm gonna...
You're gonna... I have to

554
00:31:01,443 --> 00:31:02,944
get out of here.

555
00:31:08,325 --> 00:31:09,700
See, kids, I told you.

556
00:31:09,785 --> 00:31:11,744
Stick with me,
it'll all work out.

557
00:31:12,454 --> 00:31:13,496
Oh, no!

558
00:31:15,457 --> 00:31:19,210
Little-known fact:
Cats always land
on their tushy.

559
00:31:19,294 --> 00:31:20,962
I thought they always
landed on their feet.

560
00:31:21,046 --> 00:31:23,089
Oh, sure,
now you tell me.

561
00:31:24,841 --> 00:31:26,801
So, kiddo, what do
you want to do for fun?

562
00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:27,969
I wanna make cupcakes.

563
00:31:28,053 --> 00:31:31,889
Cupcakes? Oh, yeah!
To the kitchen!

564
00:31:31,974 --> 00:31:33,182
MAN: Live from the kitchen,

565
00:31:33,267 --> 00:31:34,517
the following is
a paid commercial

566
00:31:34,601 --> 00:31:35,810
announcement for
Astounding Products.

567
00:31:35,894 --> 00:31:38,437
Hi! Welcome to
Astounding Products.

568
00:31:40,941 --> 00:31:43,317
I'm your host,
the guy in the sweater

569
00:31:43,402 --> 00:31:45,486
who asks all
the obvious questions.

570
00:31:45,821 --> 00:31:48,114
Now, here to
tell us about his

571
00:31:48,198 --> 00:31:50,408
astounding product
for making cupcakes,

572
00:31:50,492 --> 00:31:53,578
all the way from Cheshire,
England, please welcome...

573
00:31:53,662 --> 00:31:55,913
Me! Hello!

574
00:31:55,998 --> 00:32:00,293
Now... Hello!
I'm so excited!

575
00:32:00,377 --> 00:32:04,714
Do you love making cupcakes,
but hate all the hard
cupcake work?

576
00:32:04,798 --> 00:32:06,257
I know I do.

577
00:32:06,341 --> 00:32:09,885
Well, forget everything
you know about making
cupcakes,

578
00:32:09,970 --> 00:32:11,971
and say hello

579
00:32:13,015 --> 00:32:15,141
to the amazing Kupkake-inator.

580
00:32:15,225 --> 00:32:16,809
I'm so excited!

581
00:32:18,437 --> 00:32:19,854
Cupcake-a-what?

582
00:32:19,938 --> 00:32:21,856
Kupkake-inator!
ALL: Kupkake-inator!

583
00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:25,735
This amazing device
can instantly make cupcakes

584
00:32:25,819 --> 00:32:28,571
out of anything that
you have in the kitchen.

585
00:32:28,655 --> 00:32:30,281
Wait a minute.
Did you say "anything"?

586
00:32:30,365 --> 00:32:31,407
Anything.

587
00:32:31,491 --> 00:32:32,450
Anything?

588
00:32:32,534 --> 00:32:33,492
Yes, anything.

589
00:32:33,577 --> 00:32:34,744
Anything?

590
00:32:34,828 --> 00:32:35,953
Anything.

591
00:32:36,204 --> 00:32:37,288
Anything?

592
00:32:37,372 --> 00:32:40,291
I'll get you,
and it'll look like
a bloody accident.

593
00:32:40,375 --> 00:32:42,627
Anything.
Now, take off the lid.

594
00:32:42,711 --> 00:32:44,837
You can put in,
I don't know,
a carton of eggs.

595
00:32:44,921 --> 00:32:46,631
What?
How about a pack of hot dogs?

596
00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:47,965
That's incredible!

597
00:32:48,050 --> 00:32:49,300
Why not some ketchup?

598
00:32:49,384 --> 00:32:50,468
Yeah, why not?

599
00:32:50,552 --> 00:32:51,636
How about...
I know what you're thinking.

600
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,180
Even a fire extinguisher.
There we go.

601
00:32:56,224 --> 00:32:58,100
Now, close the lid
and Bob's your flipping uncle.

602
00:32:58,185 --> 00:33:00,269
What an astounding product!

603
00:33:01,021 --> 00:33:02,438
Oh, yeah!

604
00:33:02,522 --> 00:33:04,565
Open the drawer,

605
00:33:05,442 --> 00:33:08,402
fill the patented
Kupkake-inator tray,

606
00:33:09,738 --> 00:33:11,405
close the drawer,

607
00:33:12,282 --> 00:33:15,451
then place it in
a conventional oven.

608
00:33:19,915 --> 00:33:22,583
Delicious cupcakes
are just minutes away.

609
00:33:22,668 --> 00:33:24,794
Did you just say
"minutes away"?

610
00:33:24,878 --> 00:33:26,003
That's impossible!
ALL: That's impossible!

611
00:33:26,088 --> 00:33:27,755
You're not just wrong,
you're stupid.

612
00:33:27,839 --> 00:33:29,423
Now, wait just a minute.

613
00:33:29,508 --> 00:33:31,759
And you're ugly,
just like your mum.

614
00:33:32,386 --> 00:33:34,053
Did you just
call my mother ugly?

615
00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:36,722
Shut up.
I mean it.
I will end you.

616
00:33:36,807 --> 00:33:38,641
(ALL GASPING)

617
00:33:39,267 --> 00:33:41,894
Cat. Your tail.

618
00:33:42,312 --> 00:33:43,771
What about it?

619
00:33:44,356 --> 00:33:47,358
Oh, I see.
I've chopped it off.

620
00:33:47,442 --> 00:33:49,777
That's interesting,
because...

621
00:33:49,861 --> 00:33:52,154
Son of a bi...

622
00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:58,452
Look, I'm not saying
we're going to sue.

623
00:33:58,578 --> 00:34:00,996
I'm just saying
we have a case.

624
00:34:01,331 --> 00:34:03,541
We'll talk later.
Ixnay, ixnay.

625
00:34:04,835 --> 00:34:05,876
Hi.

626
00:34:05,961 --> 00:34:08,796
Cat,
is the oven supposed
to be making that sound?

627
00:34:11,299 --> 00:34:13,884
Of course. That means
they're almost done,
Conrack.

628
00:34:13,969 --> 00:34:16,053
Conrad.
That's what I said, Condor.

629
00:34:16,138 --> 00:34:18,305
Cat!
Now, that's my name!

630
00:34:26,189 --> 00:34:27,231
(OVEN BELL DINGS)

631
00:34:27,315 --> 00:34:29,942
Yep. They're done!

632
00:34:30,569 --> 00:34:31,694
Oh, man!

633
00:34:31,778 --> 00:34:32,987
There's nothing
to worry about.

634
00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:34,655
I'm sure they
still taste fine.

635
00:34:34,865 --> 00:34:35,906
(EXCLAIMS)

636
00:34:35,991 --> 00:34:37,074
They're horrible.

637
00:34:37,159 --> 00:34:40,161
Who wants some?
Come on, come on.

638
00:34:41,830 --> 00:34:43,748
Oh, my cod.

639
00:34:44,833 --> 00:34:47,710
Cat, you need to clean
this mess up, pronto.

640
00:34:47,794 --> 00:34:49,044
We have a contract.

641
00:34:49,129 --> 00:34:50,671
All right, I'll try.

642
00:34:52,507 --> 00:34:55,217
You don't try. You do.

643
00:34:55,594 --> 00:34:58,053
Yes, ma'am.
Right away, ma'am.

644
00:34:59,639 --> 00:35:01,098
I'll be right back.

645
00:35:01,683 --> 00:35:03,058
(CONRAD SCREAMS)

646
00:35:06,772 --> 00:35:08,773
(SNORING)
Hi. How are you?

647
00:35:08,857 --> 00:35:10,149
Okay.

648
00:35:13,653 --> 00:35:15,780
Look. I'm a girl.

649
00:35:20,035 --> 00:35:21,994
Stop! That's...

650
00:35:22,078 --> 00:35:23,829
Mom's dress!
Mom's dress!

651
00:35:25,582 --> 00:35:26,999
This filthy thing?

652
00:35:27,083 --> 00:35:29,126
She was gonna
wear that tonight,
and you ruined it.

653
00:35:29,211 --> 00:35:32,546
Honey, it was ruined
when she bought it.

654
00:35:34,299 --> 00:35:35,466
Yeah.

655
00:35:35,550 --> 00:35:38,052
I told you all
this would happen.

656
00:35:38,136 --> 00:35:41,013
But no one listens to a fish!

657
00:35:41,097 --> 00:35:42,264
A dog goes "woof-woof"

658
00:35:42,349 --> 00:35:44,141
and everybody knows
that little Timmy's
trapped under a log.

659
00:35:44,226 --> 00:35:45,810
But a fish speaks
in plain English...

660
00:35:45,894 --> 00:35:50,523
All right,
everyone, let's just take
a deep breath and calm down.

661
00:35:52,943 --> 00:35:56,570
You know who's gonna solve it?
Me. I am.

662
00:35:57,072 --> 00:36:00,074
I will personally
take care of everything.

663
00:36:01,076 --> 00:36:03,244
And I know just
the guys to do it.

664
00:36:16,424 --> 00:36:18,551
In this box
are two Things.

665
00:36:18,635 --> 00:36:20,427
I will show them to you.

666
00:36:20,512 --> 00:36:24,348
Two Things,
and I call them
Thing One and Thing Two.

667
00:36:24,432 --> 00:36:26,183
These Things
will not bite you.

668
00:36:26,268 --> 00:36:27,935
They want to have fun.

669
00:36:28,061 --> 00:36:32,898
So without further ado,
meet Thing Two and Thing One!

670
00:36:35,986 --> 00:36:37,111
BOTH: Ta-da!

671
00:36:38,113 --> 00:36:39,280
Oh, yeah!

672
00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:44,118
Thing One, Conrad, Sally.
Conrad, Sally, Thing One.

673
00:36:44,202 --> 00:36:46,370
Thing Two, Conrad, Sally.
Conrad, Sally, Thing Two.

674
00:36:46,454 --> 00:36:49,373
Thing One, Thing Two.
Thing Two, Thing One.
Conrad, Sally. Sally, Conrad.

675
00:36:49,457 --> 00:36:50,541
I am the Cat.

676
00:36:50,625 --> 00:36:52,251
Don't belittle me.

677
00:36:52,335 --> 00:36:53,878
Ah, yes, of course.

678
00:36:53,962 --> 00:36:55,671
Thing Two would
like to clarify that

679
00:36:55,755 --> 00:36:57,047
just because
he wears the number two

680
00:36:57,132 --> 00:36:59,884
does not
imply in any way that
he's inferior to Thing One.

681
00:36:59,968 --> 00:37:01,093
And all of the above.

682
00:37:01,177 --> 00:37:04,638
He says you may feel free
to call him Thing "A,"
if you like.

683
00:37:05,015 --> 00:37:08,225
He will also
accept Super Thing,
Thing King, Kid Dynamite,

684
00:37:08,310 --> 00:37:09,476
Chocolate Thun-Da

685
00:37:09,603 --> 00:37:10,895
or Ben.

686
00:37:11,021 --> 00:37:12,313
(THING ONE CHATTERING)

687
00:37:13,690 --> 00:37:16,483
Thing One says
he's Thing One
for a reason,

688
00:37:16,568 --> 00:37:19,194
and some people
should just get used to it.

689
00:37:19,279 --> 00:37:21,655
It's a Thing thing.
You wouldn't understand.

690
00:37:22,490 --> 00:37:23,824
Okay, enough.

691
00:37:23,909 --> 00:37:27,286
You are quickly
turning into one of
my least favorite Things.

692
00:37:27,996 --> 00:37:31,665
Listen, Convex,
you probably
don't wanna do that.

693
00:37:31,875 --> 00:37:33,167
Why not?
It's just a crate.

694
00:37:33,251 --> 00:37:35,044
This isn't just
any old crate.

695
00:37:35,128 --> 00:37:38,088
It's the Trans-dimensional
Transportolator.

696
00:37:38,173 --> 00:37:41,342
It's kind of like
a doorway which leads
from this world to my world.

697
00:37:41,843 --> 00:37:43,719
But it says,
"Made in the Philippines."

698
00:37:43,845 --> 00:37:45,763
Yes,
but not this Philippines.

699
00:37:47,223 --> 00:37:50,100
Look, now,
I'm not usually a rules guy,

700
00:37:50,185 --> 00:37:51,602
but this is a biggie.

701
00:37:51,686 --> 00:37:53,854
No opening the crate.

702
00:37:53,939 --> 00:37:57,066
No lookee, no touchee.
Got it?

703
00:37:57,150 --> 00:38:00,152
THING 2:
Mekka-dekka we should
settle our differences.

704
00:38:00,236 --> 00:38:01,570
(JABBERING)

705
00:38:04,074 --> 00:38:05,908
CAT: Things,
front and center!

706
00:38:06,618 --> 00:38:07,743
CONRAD: Cool.

707
00:38:08,244 --> 00:38:09,995
All right, Things,
I'm not paying you

708
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,039
to stand around
and look pretty.

709
00:38:12,123 --> 00:38:13,832
Here's Mom's dress.

710
00:38:13,917 --> 00:38:15,834
THING 1 : Oh! Mommy's dress!

711
00:38:16,211 --> 00:38:17,920
(THINGS JABBERING)

712
00:38:18,004 --> 00:38:19,088
(GASPING)

713
00:38:20,090 --> 00:38:21,256
What about the couch?

714
00:38:21,383 --> 00:38:22,549
Which couch?

715
00:38:22,634 --> 00:38:25,135
The clean one,
or the horribly
stained one?

716
00:38:25,220 --> 00:38:26,220
(WHEEZING)

717
00:38:28,014 --> 00:38:29,890
(JABBERING)

718
00:38:33,895 --> 00:38:34,895
Ho!

719
00:38:37,232 --> 00:38:38,941
Mekka-dekka. Don't worry!

720
00:38:40,527 --> 00:38:41,986
Incoming!

721
00:38:45,281 --> 00:38:48,450
Cat,
they're wrecking
the whole house!

722
00:39:10,140 --> 00:39:11,682
Conrad, help!

723
00:39:11,808 --> 00:39:13,350
Help yourself!

724
00:39:13,435 --> 00:39:14,768
Want a piece of me?

725
00:39:14,853 --> 00:39:16,103
All right! Come and get it!

726
00:39:16,438 --> 00:39:17,646
(JABBERING)

727
00:39:23,278 --> 00:39:25,446
(EXCLAIMS)

728
00:39:34,956 --> 00:39:36,290
That tickles.

729
00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:38,459
(JABBERING)

730
00:39:38,543 --> 00:39:40,169
Geronimo!

731
00:39:43,631 --> 00:39:46,967
Mine, mine, mine!
Mine, mine, mine!

732
00:39:47,927 --> 00:39:49,470
Ride 'em, cowboy!

733
00:39:49,554 --> 00:39:51,138
(WHOOPING)

734
00:40:00,065 --> 00:40:02,775
If this were my house,
I'd be furious.

735
00:40:09,532 --> 00:40:12,201
Hey! Klondike!

736
00:40:12,285 --> 00:40:15,454
Do you have any idea
what happened to
the lock on this crate?

737
00:40:15,538 --> 00:40:16,747
It's on Nevins' collar.

738
00:40:16,831 --> 00:40:17,998
Nevins?

739
00:40:18,083 --> 00:40:20,417
SALLY: Nevins? Nevins!

740
00:40:20,502 --> 00:40:24,254
Put the dog down!
I said, put the dog down!

741
00:40:24,339 --> 00:40:26,006
Why won't they listen to me?

742
00:40:26,091 --> 00:40:28,092
Oh.
I don't know if this helps,

743
00:40:28,176 --> 00:40:31,595
but the Things always do
the opposite of what you say.

744
00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:33,430
Why do they
always do the opposite?

745
00:40:33,515 --> 00:40:35,140
That's so annoying!

746
00:40:35,225 --> 00:40:37,184
Remind you of anyone,
Conrad?

747
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:38,894
Zinga!

748
00:40:39,771 --> 00:40:41,188
Zinga! Zinga!

749
00:40:41,940 --> 00:40:44,858
Blue! 41! Set!
Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!

750
00:40:45,693 --> 00:40:48,987
Hey, Thing,
don't let go
of that dog!

751
00:40:49,072 --> 00:40:50,864
Let go!

752
00:40:51,199 --> 00:40:54,243
Catch him.
I mean, don't catch him!

753
00:40:56,996 --> 00:40:58,539
Well, this is
just great, Conrad.

754
00:40:58,623 --> 00:41:01,291
The whole house is destroyed,
the party is ruined,

755
00:41:01,376 --> 00:41:03,335
and now Nevins is gone.

756
00:41:03,545 --> 00:41:05,295
Sally, Kojak,

757
00:41:05,713 --> 00:41:07,965
that's nothing compared
to what's gonna happen

758
00:41:08,049 --> 00:41:09,842
if we don't lock this crate.

759
00:41:09,926 --> 00:41:12,302
Take a look.
It's already leaking.

760
00:41:16,683 --> 00:41:18,016
It won't stay shut.

761
00:41:18,101 --> 00:41:20,269
Not without the lock.

762
00:41:20,353 --> 00:41:22,855
Look, if we don't get
that lock off of Nevins

763
00:41:22,939 --> 00:41:24,898
and put it back
on this crate,

764
00:41:24,983 --> 00:41:26,024
we're gonna be staring down

765
00:41:26,109 --> 00:41:28,735
the business end
of the mother of all messes.

766
00:41:31,573 --> 00:41:33,657
We've gotta go
out and find Nevins.

767
00:41:33,741 --> 00:41:35,784
Impossible! Sally!

768
00:41:35,869 --> 00:41:37,995
There's only four
hours till the party.

769
00:41:38,079 --> 00:41:40,831
The fish is right.
We should call Mom
and tell her what happened.

770
00:41:40,915 --> 00:41:44,168
Look at this house!
There's no way we could
explain this to Mom.

771
00:41:44,252 --> 00:41:47,004
We gotta get Nevins
back and lock the crate!

772
00:41:47,088 --> 00:41:49,006
We're staying
and calling Mom.

773
00:41:49,090 --> 00:41:51,341
We're going
and getting the dog.

774
00:41:51,426 --> 00:41:53,594
There is a third option.

775
00:41:54,762 --> 00:41:55,888
There is?

776
00:41:55,972 --> 00:41:58,265
Yes. It involves...

777
00:41:59,559 --> 00:42:00,767
murder.

778
00:42:01,895 --> 00:42:03,228
That's your option?

779
00:42:03,313 --> 00:42:04,396
No.

780
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:05,981
But you guys
both had options.

781
00:42:06,065 --> 00:42:07,774
I just wanted
to have one, too.

782
00:42:08,526 --> 00:42:10,068
Or did I?

783
00:42:11,112 --> 00:42:12,738
Cat, you're not helping!

784
00:42:12,822 --> 00:42:14,823
Come on.
Let's go get that dog.

785
00:42:14,908 --> 00:42:19,453
Now, we just need
a heavy, inanimate object
to weigh down this crate.

786
00:42:25,084 --> 00:42:27,711
There. That ought
to buy us some time.

787
00:42:27,795 --> 00:42:30,005
Come on, kids!
Let's go, go, go!

788
00:42:36,638 --> 00:42:39,431
MAN 1 ON TV:
Identical sister Mitzy...

789
00:42:39,515 --> 00:42:40,724
MAN 2: That's right.

790
00:42:45,396 --> 00:42:46,396
(TINKLING)

791
00:42:46,481 --> 00:42:48,232
(BANGING ON DOOR)

792
00:42:48,316 --> 00:42:49,483
Yeah?

793
00:42:51,402 --> 00:42:52,945
What do you want now?

794
00:42:53,029 --> 00:42:54,446
MAN: Repo.

795
00:42:55,698 --> 00:42:58,909
You're repossessing my TV?

796
00:42:58,993 --> 00:43:00,327
I'm sure I made a payment.

797
00:43:00,411 --> 00:43:01,703
If it's about
that bounced check,

798
00:43:01,788 --> 00:43:03,330
let me give you
a credit card.

799
00:43:03,665 --> 00:43:07,751
That one's expired.
Huh? Oh, come on.

800
00:43:10,255 --> 00:43:14,091
NARRATOR: With the lock
on his collar,
Nevins kept running,

801
00:43:14,175 --> 00:43:18,220
unaware of his part
in the evil Quinn's cunning.

802
00:43:18,304 --> 00:43:19,429
(PHONE RINGING)

803
00:43:20,181 --> 00:43:22,391
Joan Walden Real Estate.
Be it ever so humble,
there's no...

804
00:43:22,475 --> 00:43:23,642
Oh, hi, Joan.

805
00:43:23,726 --> 00:43:25,060
The kids let
the dog out again.

806
00:43:25,603 --> 00:43:26,770
You're kidding.

807
00:43:26,854 --> 00:43:28,021
Don't worry.
I'll go get him,

808
00:43:28,106 --> 00:43:31,149
then we'll
have a conversation
vis-á-vis military school.

809
00:43:31,234 --> 00:43:33,860
I don't know.
Conrad's like you, Lawrence.

810
00:43:33,945 --> 00:43:36,196
He's very sensitive.

811
00:43:37,824 --> 00:43:40,117
But I suppose
it's something
I should consider.

812
00:43:40,201 --> 00:43:42,160
I'll get the dog.
I'll be right over.

813
00:43:48,876 --> 00:43:49,876
(FARTS)

814
00:43:49,961 --> 00:43:51,003
(GRUNTS)

815
00:43:51,629 --> 00:43:52,754
(BARKING)

816
00:43:52,839 --> 00:43:55,299
Okay, there's Nevins.
Stay out of sight.

817
00:44:09,355 --> 00:44:11,732
I thought
the moment needed something.

818
00:44:12,317 --> 00:44:14,609
Oh, what will become of us?

819
00:44:14,694 --> 00:44:16,570
Your mother
will lose her job,

820
00:44:16,654 --> 00:44:19,740
and we'll have to
live on the street.

821
00:44:20,366 --> 00:44:23,452
I can't!
Don't make me go...

822
00:44:23,953 --> 00:44:25,912
I don't know this world!

823
00:44:25,997 --> 00:44:30,042
It's dry! It's like...
I can't... It's too...

824
00:44:30,126 --> 00:44:31,251
CONRAD: Fish!

825
00:44:31,336 --> 00:44:33,170
It's too much!

826
00:44:33,254 --> 00:44:34,963
Would you like to go
back in the toilet?

827
00:44:35,048 --> 00:44:36,548
On second thought,
it's such a beautiful day.

828
00:44:36,632 --> 00:44:37,674
Why spend it indoors?

829
00:44:37,759 --> 00:44:39,134
Thank you.

830
00:44:41,471 --> 00:44:43,055
Okay, kids.
Get out of my way.

831
00:44:43,139 --> 00:44:46,099
This fence is no match
for my cat-like grace
and reflexes.

832
00:44:46,184 --> 00:44:47,309
Here we go.

833
00:44:50,855 --> 00:44:54,024
Okay. Watch me fly, kids.

834
00:44:56,277 --> 00:44:57,402
(CRASHING)

835
00:44:58,571 --> 00:44:59,905
(CONRAD AND SALLY GRUNTING)

836
00:45:00,448 --> 00:45:01,656
(SCREAMS)

837
00:45:02,241 --> 00:45:04,618
I don't think
the little girl's even trying.

838
00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:08,622
What about your
cat-like reflexes?

839
00:45:08,706 --> 00:45:11,750
What about
showing a little effort,
shrimp boat? Now, push!

840
00:45:11,834 --> 00:45:13,126
(EXCLAIMS)

841
00:45:14,629 --> 00:45:16,922
All right, Nevins.

842
00:45:17,131 --> 00:45:18,965
Time to die.

843
00:45:19,050 --> 00:45:21,093
Cat, you scared him away.

844
00:45:22,136 --> 00:45:23,637
Dirty hoe.

845
00:45:25,973 --> 00:45:28,308
I'm sorry, baby.
I love you.

846
00:45:29,894 --> 00:45:31,311
CONRAD: Come on, Cat!

847
00:45:36,818 --> 00:45:38,026
CONRAD: There he is!

848
00:45:41,572 --> 00:45:43,198
Happy birthday, Denise.

849
00:45:43,282 --> 00:45:46,618
Denise?
Everyone I know is there.

850
00:45:47,995 --> 00:45:50,330
There's Ginny and Alan.

851
00:45:50,873 --> 00:45:53,458
How come Denise
didn't invite me
to her birthday?

852
00:45:53,543 --> 00:45:55,752
Don't worry.
Let's just get
Nevins and go.

853
00:45:55,837 --> 00:45:57,754
Okay, kids.
Everyone outside!

854
00:45:57,839 --> 00:45:59,673
(KIDS SHOUTING)

855
00:46:07,515 --> 00:46:09,141
Cat, get down!
They're gonna see you!

856
00:46:09,225 --> 00:46:10,350
Hide!

857
00:46:11,394 --> 00:46:13,520
(CHILDREN SHOUTING)

858
00:46:20,153 --> 00:46:23,071
ALL: Piñata! Piñata! Piñata!

859
00:46:23,156 --> 00:46:27,284
Piñata! Piñata!

860
00:46:28,828 --> 00:46:30,579
Everybody, join in.

861
00:46:35,376 --> 00:46:36,960
GIRL: It's breaking!

862
00:46:38,671 --> 00:46:40,672
Step out of my way.

863
00:46:43,092 --> 00:46:45,218
This cannot end well.

864
00:46:46,345 --> 00:46:47,471
ALL: Piñata! Piñata!

865
00:46:47,555 --> 00:46:48,555
(SCREAMING)

866
00:46:48,639 --> 00:46:50,724
I'm easy

867
00:46:54,061 --> 00:46:56,646
I'm easy like Sunday morning

868
00:46:56,731 --> 00:46:58,398
(SCREAMING)

869
00:47:05,031 --> 00:47:06,823
Oh-ho-ho! Whoo!

870
00:47:07,825 --> 00:47:10,202
I got an idea. Candy!

871
00:47:13,789 --> 00:47:15,123
ALL: Candy!

872
00:47:18,503 --> 00:47:20,253
No!
No!

873
00:47:22,340 --> 00:47:23,965
Get back!
SALLY: Cat!

874
00:47:25,968 --> 00:47:27,427
CAT: I'll get you!

875
00:47:29,972 --> 00:47:31,264
(PHONE RINGING)

876
00:47:31,349 --> 00:47:32,349
(THUDDING)

877
00:47:32,433 --> 00:47:34,100
I'd love to buy some.

878
00:47:34,185 --> 00:47:35,977
Hello, Mrs. Kwan.
It's Joan Walden.

879
00:47:36,062 --> 00:47:38,396
I just called to
check on the kids.
Are they okay?

880
00:47:39,815 --> 00:47:42,192
Those aren't children.

881
00:47:42,443 --> 00:47:44,861
They're little angels.

882
00:47:48,032 --> 00:47:49,366
That's sweet.

883
00:47:49,575 --> 00:47:52,285
Well, all right, Mrs. Kwan.
I'll be home as soon as I can.

884
00:47:52,370 --> 00:47:53,370
Bye-bye.

885
00:47:53,454 --> 00:47:54,496
Bye.

886
00:47:55,456 --> 00:47:57,415
(THINGS JABBERING)

887
00:48:23,943 --> 00:48:27,028
All right, soldier.
Our bogey is in range.

888
00:48:27,113 --> 00:48:29,489
Commence search and destroy.

889
00:48:29,574 --> 00:48:30,782
What?

890
00:48:30,866 --> 00:48:32,409
Search and rescue.

891
00:48:32,493 --> 00:48:35,328
I meant search and rescue.
Come on.

892
00:48:37,498 --> 00:48:39,833
I can't believe
I wasn't invited
to that party.

893
00:48:39,917 --> 00:48:42,419
Hey! You're a lone wolf.

894
00:48:42,545 --> 00:48:45,171
Live alone, die alone.
Yeah.

895
00:48:45,339 --> 00:48:48,466
Can we please get the dog?

896
00:48:48,551 --> 00:48:51,511
Can we please get the dog?
Boo!

897
00:48:54,765 --> 00:48:57,100
CONRAD: Oh, no! Oh, man!

898
00:48:57,518 --> 00:49:00,478
Hello, Nevins.
Good-bye, Conrad.

899
00:49:00,813 --> 00:49:03,189
Not so tough now,
are you?

900
00:49:14,410 --> 00:49:16,828
We're dead.
We're never gonna
get that crate shut.

901
00:49:16,912 --> 00:49:18,163
And I'm getting
shipped off to

902
00:49:18,247 --> 00:49:20,206
Colonel Von Kronk's
School for Wayward Boys!

903
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:22,792
Why don't we take my car?

904
00:49:22,877 --> 00:49:23,960
You have a car?

905
00:49:24,045 --> 00:49:25,962
Yeah, sure.

906
00:49:31,218 --> 00:49:33,470
Wow. That is so cool.

907
00:49:33,554 --> 00:49:35,472
That's just the dust cover.

908
00:49:38,059 --> 00:49:40,143
Here she is,
the Super Luxurious

909
00:49:40,227 --> 00:49:42,312
Omnidirectional
Whatchamajigger.

910
00:49:42,396 --> 00:49:45,065
Or S. L.O.W. for short.

911
00:49:45,149 --> 00:49:47,108
S. L.O.W.?

912
00:49:47,234 --> 00:49:50,320
Yeah, S. L.O.W.
It's better than
the last name we had.

913
00:49:50,404 --> 00:49:53,573
Super Hydraulic
Instantaneous Transporter.

914
00:49:53,741 --> 00:49:55,158
Oh, you mean...

915
00:49:55,242 --> 00:49:57,077
No! Quick, to the SLOW.

916
00:50:01,457 --> 00:50:02,540
Buckle up, kids.

917
00:50:02,625 --> 00:50:04,000
We're on a mission
to get that dog,

918
00:50:04,085 --> 00:50:06,961
and we will not rest
until we find and destroy it.

919
00:50:07,046 --> 00:50:09,255
Rescue it!
Rescue it! Of course,
I meant rescue it.

920
00:50:09,340 --> 00:50:12,676
Whatever.
Remember, kids, there's
nothing faster than SLOW.

921
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:15,929
That's backwards.
It makes no sense.
Look at you.

922
00:50:16,180 --> 00:50:18,723
Okay, here we go.
G. P.S. , check.

923
00:50:18,808 --> 00:50:20,266
DVD, CD, check.

924
00:50:20,351 --> 00:50:22,936
Someone from
Czechoslovakia is a Czech.

925
00:50:24,230 --> 00:50:25,355
Siren.

926
00:50:25,439 --> 00:50:26,606
What are you...
What... Siren?

927
00:50:28,651 --> 00:50:31,152
Let's go!

928
00:50:31,237 --> 00:50:33,405
(FISH WAILING)

929
00:50:34,907 --> 00:50:37,075
CAT: Hi, there!
How are you?

930
00:50:37,159 --> 00:50:38,159
(CAT WHOOPING)

931
00:50:38,244 --> 00:50:39,911
(CAR BACKFIRING)

932
00:50:41,288 --> 00:50:43,123
(ALL SCREAMING)

933
00:50:45,501 --> 00:50:51,047
(SINGING)
I'm sending Conrad away

934
00:50:51,215 --> 00:50:53,466
(BARKING)
Oh! Oh!

935
00:50:55,094 --> 00:50:56,094
Oh!

936
00:50:57,513 --> 00:51:00,473
QUINN: I can't believe
you whizzed on my taco!

937
00:51:03,602 --> 00:51:05,729
Wait till Joan
gets a load of you!

938
00:51:05,813 --> 00:51:07,147
(QUINN LAUGHING)

939
00:51:08,566 --> 00:51:10,108
There they are!

940
00:51:10,234 --> 00:51:11,818
FISH: Red light,
red light, red light!

941
00:51:11,902 --> 00:51:13,319
Red light!

942
00:51:18,409 --> 00:51:19,826
Someone else should drive.

943
00:51:19,994 --> 00:51:21,411
All right. You win.

944
00:51:21,495 --> 00:51:22,787
Concrete, you drive.

945
00:51:22,872 --> 00:51:24,122
Are you serious?

946
00:51:24,206 --> 00:51:25,373
I don't know.

947
00:51:25,458 --> 00:51:29,169
A little voice
inside of me is saying,
"This is a bad idea,"

948
00:51:29,253 --> 00:51:31,129
but I can barely
hear that little voice

949
00:51:31,213 --> 00:51:33,381
because an even
louder little voice

950
00:51:33,466 --> 00:51:35,550
is screaming,
"Let the 1 2-year-old drive!"

951
00:51:36,677 --> 00:51:37,719
Now, punch it!

952
00:51:41,140 --> 00:51:43,057
This is awesome!

953
00:51:49,398 --> 00:51:50,732
I want to drive.

954
00:51:50,816 --> 00:51:52,317
I think that's a great idea.

955
00:51:55,321 --> 00:51:58,239
Wait! Two people
can't drive
at the same time.

956
00:51:58,324 --> 00:52:01,618
You're right.
We should all drive.

957
00:52:02,870 --> 00:52:04,871
(ALL SCREAMING)

958
00:52:06,248 --> 00:52:08,875
Cat! Where are the brakes?

959
00:52:08,959 --> 00:52:10,293
I'll get them.

960
00:52:12,546 --> 00:52:14,464
I think
there's something
wrong with your brakes.

961
00:52:14,548 --> 00:52:16,758
When's the last time
you had them checked?

962
00:52:18,886 --> 00:52:20,053
Bad brake!

963
00:52:27,144 --> 00:52:29,354
FISH: One-way street,
one-way street,
one-way street,

964
00:52:29,438 --> 00:52:30,522
one-way street!

965
00:52:30,606 --> 00:52:31,606
(ALL SCREAMING)

966
00:52:31,690 --> 00:52:33,066
(TRUCK HORN BLARING)

967
00:52:36,195 --> 00:52:37,987
Hey,
Rhode Island license plate.

968
00:52:38,072 --> 00:52:39,405
You never see those.

969
00:52:44,745 --> 00:52:46,162
Om. Om.

970
00:52:54,630 --> 00:52:57,090
Air bag. Standard.

971
00:52:59,426 --> 00:53:02,136
I think I wet my jar.

972
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:04,681
Can we do that again?

973
00:53:12,147 --> 00:53:13,523
Hey, there he is!

974
00:53:16,944 --> 00:53:19,362
Oh, no!
He's going
into Mom's office!

975
00:53:19,780 --> 00:53:20,989
Come on, Cat!

976
00:53:21,407 --> 00:53:22,699
Go, Conrad!

977
00:53:24,410 --> 00:53:25,535
You know, Nevins,

978
00:53:25,619 --> 00:53:28,538
when Joan finds out
you've escaped again,
Conrad will be moving out,

979
00:53:28,622 --> 00:53:30,665
and I'll be moving in.

980
00:53:33,377 --> 00:53:35,003
CONRAD: We've gotta get
Nevins and that lock back.

981
00:53:35,087 --> 00:53:36,754
What are we gonna do?

982
00:53:36,922 --> 00:53:39,048
Don't worry.
I have three plans.

983
00:53:39,633 --> 00:53:40,675
Plan "A"...

984
00:53:40,759 --> 00:53:42,719
(CAT READING)

985
00:53:42,803 --> 00:53:44,721
Done that. Plan "B"...

986
00:53:44,805 --> 00:53:47,390
(CAT READING)

987
00:53:47,474 --> 00:53:48,558
That could work.

988
00:53:48,684 --> 00:53:49,809
What about that one?

989
00:53:50,519 --> 00:53:51,561
Plan "C"...

990
00:53:51,645 --> 00:53:54,814
(CAT READING)

991
00:53:55,900 --> 00:53:58,234
I don't know.
I still like Plan "B."

992
00:53:58,402 --> 00:53:59,402
BOTH: Cat!

993
00:53:59,486 --> 00:54:02,322
Okay, okay. Plan "C."
Look at you.

994
00:54:06,994 --> 00:54:08,119
Excuse me, sir.

995
00:54:08,203 --> 00:54:11,372
I'd like you to
sign my petition. Yeah.

996
00:54:11,457 --> 00:54:13,625
Get out of my way,
you hippie freak.

997
00:54:13,918 --> 00:54:16,419
Are you aware
of the senseless,
wholesale slaughter

998
00:54:16,503 --> 00:54:19,422
of the flatulating,
acid-spitting Zumzizeroo?

999
00:54:20,174 --> 00:54:22,634
What will it take to
get you out of my face?

1000
00:54:22,718 --> 00:54:24,469
Just sign my petition

1001
00:54:24,553 --> 00:54:27,847
with this
large, oversized pen
that requires two hands.

1002
00:54:27,932 --> 00:54:29,015
QUINN: I see.

1003
00:54:31,268 --> 00:54:32,518
Will you hold my dog?

1004
00:54:32,603 --> 00:54:33,811
Yes!

1005
00:54:33,979 --> 00:54:37,148
Okay,
I have a problem
with the word "dog."

1006
00:54:37,232 --> 00:54:39,067
I don't use
the "D" word per se

1007
00:54:39,151 --> 00:54:40,777
'cause I think
it's really, really wrong.

1008
00:54:40,861 --> 00:54:45,365
Yeah. But I will happily
hold your Canine-American.

1009
00:54:45,449 --> 00:54:48,326
I'm more comfortable
with that really, yeah.

1010
00:54:49,078 --> 00:54:53,206
(SINGING) How much is that
Canine-American
in the window

1011
00:54:53,332 --> 00:54:55,833
Cat! Come on!
Cat! Come on!

1012
00:54:58,504 --> 00:55:00,421
Hey, what the...
Go, go, go!

1013
00:55:00,506 --> 00:55:03,257
Come back here!
I'm on to you kids!

1014
00:55:03,342 --> 00:55:06,177
Nothing to see here.
Keep moving! Go!

1015
00:55:06,720 --> 00:55:09,305
Come on! Let's go.
Ah, get in, get in!

1016
00:55:09,390 --> 00:55:11,474
Come on, let's go.
Get in! Hi, hi.

1017
00:55:11,558 --> 00:55:13,434
Get in! Get in!

1018
00:55:13,519 --> 00:55:14,894
(MUSIC PLAYING)

1019
00:55:14,979 --> 00:55:16,729
CAT: Look out below!

1020
00:55:17,481 --> 00:55:19,607
Oh! Sorry. Over there.

1021
00:55:22,528 --> 00:55:25,405
Hey! Hey, hey! Hey, hey!

1022
00:55:33,539 --> 00:55:35,081
QUINN: I got you!

1023
00:55:37,167 --> 00:55:38,835
Here he comes! Cat!

1024
00:55:38,919 --> 00:55:40,336
Cat!

1025
00:55:43,382 --> 00:55:47,510
Where's my hat?
Oh! Go! Go, go!

1026
00:55:47,594 --> 00:55:49,512
Go! Let's go!
My tail, my tail.

1027
00:55:49,596 --> 00:55:51,139
Come on, Cat!

1028
00:55:51,223 --> 00:55:52,765
I'm walking here!

1029
00:55:57,855 --> 00:55:59,147
(EXCLAIMS)

1030
00:56:00,941 --> 00:56:04,027
Joan. Joan!

1031
00:56:06,113 --> 00:56:07,363
I think we lost him.

1032
00:56:07,448 --> 00:56:08,656
Not the pocket.
Not the pocket.

1033
00:56:08,741 --> 00:56:10,408
We got the lock back.
Now let's get home.

1034
00:56:10,492 --> 00:56:12,410
Relax, kid.
I'm all over it.

1035
00:56:14,955 --> 00:56:16,539
Hey.
What's wrong?

1036
00:56:16,623 --> 00:56:17,623
This.

1037
00:56:18,208 --> 00:56:21,419
This is not my hat.
I must have picked up
the wrong hat back there.

1038
00:56:21,503 --> 00:56:23,713
So?
So...

1039
00:56:23,964 --> 00:56:27,675
Without my hat,
I'm just your garden-variety,
six-foot-tall, talking cat.

1040
00:56:27,760 --> 00:56:31,304
Joan, your children
are running around town
like complete maniacs.

1041
00:56:31,388 --> 00:56:36,267
Yes, they are.
With some weird,
hairy man in a big hat.

1042
00:56:37,102 --> 00:56:38,478
You're gonna believe
everything I'm telling you

1043
00:56:38,562 --> 00:56:40,938
once we get to your house,
okay? Come on.

1044
00:56:41,023 --> 00:56:42,565
We're doomed!

1045
00:56:43,025 --> 00:56:45,818
We're dead.
This is all my fault.

1046
00:56:45,903 --> 00:56:47,487
I'm such an idiot.

1047
00:56:47,571 --> 00:56:51,699
Why do I always have
to do the opposite of
what I'm supposed to?

1048
00:56:51,784 --> 00:56:54,035
Wait a second.
That's it! The opposite!

1049
00:56:54,119 --> 00:56:56,746
Hey, Things!
Don't help us!

1050
00:56:56,830 --> 00:56:59,874
Do not show up
and help us
get home right now!

1051
00:57:00,834 --> 00:57:02,919
We're goin'
on a road trip!

1052
00:57:03,003 --> 00:57:04,712
Larry's car?

1053
00:57:05,798 --> 00:57:08,174
How'd you get so smart?

1054
00:57:09,426 --> 00:57:12,637
NARRATOR: So the race was on
to get back home first.

1055
00:57:12,721 --> 00:57:15,431
CONRAD: Hang on! We gotta
beat Mom and Quinn home!

1056
00:57:15,516 --> 00:57:19,519
But back at their home,
things were
just getting worse.

1057
00:57:36,453 --> 00:57:37,954
There's Mom and Larry!

1058
00:57:38,038 --> 00:57:40,456
Step on it, Joan.
Go, go, go.

1059
00:57:41,375 --> 00:57:45,837
Oh, Things,
do not do anything
to slow down my mom.

1060
00:57:45,963 --> 00:57:47,880
THING 1 : Slow down Mom!
THING 2: Slow down Mom!

1061
00:57:54,805 --> 00:57:57,557
(SIREN WAILING)
QUINN: Look, Joan, they
don't beat them every day.

1062
00:57:58,433 --> 00:58:00,226
Oh, great.

1063
00:58:04,398 --> 00:58:05,565
(THING CLEARING THROAT)

1064
00:58:05,649 --> 00:58:07,984
I'm sorry, Officer.
Was I speeding?

1065
00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:11,737
Mekka-dekka license,
appa registration.

1066
00:58:13,282 --> 00:58:15,908
Mekka-dekka,
you're one hot mama.

1067
00:58:16,118 --> 00:58:18,494
Hey, that's my car. Joan,
we better go right away.

1068
00:58:18,579 --> 00:58:20,580
Please let me handle this.

1069
00:58:20,664 --> 00:58:22,999
Sorry, I guess I was
in a hurry to get home.

1070
00:58:23,083 --> 00:58:25,459
I'm not gonna let
them get away with this.

1071
00:58:32,134 --> 00:58:33,676
Meet me at the house!

1072
00:58:45,939 --> 00:58:48,191
Not so fast,
you little maggots!

1073
00:58:48,942 --> 00:58:51,777
Oh, you are so busted.
Now get inside.

1074
00:58:51,862 --> 00:58:55,072
You don't
want to go in there.
It's going to be a total...

1075
00:58:56,783 --> 00:58:58,075
What?

1076
00:58:58,160 --> 00:58:59,619
Sally, what happened?

1077
00:58:59,703 --> 00:59:01,078
What about
the mother of all messes?

1078
00:59:01,163 --> 00:59:02,413
I don't know.

1079
00:59:02,497 --> 00:59:03,706
(SNEEZING)

1080
00:59:03,790 --> 00:59:05,291
Why am I sneezing?

1081
00:59:10,797 --> 00:59:13,090
That'd be me. Boo!

1082
00:59:13,884 --> 00:59:15,384
You're a giant...

1083
00:59:17,095 --> 00:59:19,180
Cat!

1084
00:59:22,517 --> 00:59:24,977
Judas Priest!

1085
00:59:26,521 --> 00:59:27,730
Mamma mia.

1086
00:59:32,152 --> 00:59:34,403
What happened
to our house?

1087
00:59:34,488 --> 00:59:36,781
It's the mother
of all messes.

1088
00:59:36,865 --> 00:59:37,990
Yup!

1089
00:59:38,075 --> 00:59:41,619
Pure, unadulterated fun
without any good sense
or judgment.

1090
00:59:41,703 --> 00:59:44,038
See, Corn Dog,
this is why I warned you

1091
00:59:44,122 --> 00:59:46,040
not to open the crate.

1092
00:59:46,333 --> 00:59:48,751
Although,
on the plus side,

1093
00:59:48,835 --> 00:59:50,503
I think people
will be talking about

1094
00:59:50,587 --> 00:59:52,713
tonight's party for
the rest of their lives.

1095
00:59:55,634 --> 00:59:57,760
We gotta shut the crate!
Come on!

1096
00:59:57,844 --> 00:59:59,178
Okay.

1097
01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:03,349
Let's take
the front hall carpet.

1098
01:00:04,559 --> 01:00:05,893
This can't be
the front hall.

1099
01:00:05,978 --> 01:00:08,771
This is what happens
when you mix
your world and my world.

1100
01:00:08,855 --> 01:00:11,190
Oh, and when you
eat bad shellfish.

1101
01:00:11,858 --> 01:00:13,901
Let's go. Oh, yeah!

1102
01:00:13,986 --> 01:00:15,528
CONRAD: Cat, how
do we find the crate?

1103
01:00:15,612 --> 01:00:16,654
Beats me.

1104
01:00:16,738 --> 01:00:19,824
This hat is worthless,
and it makes me look fat.

1105
01:00:19,908 --> 01:00:21,659
Where's Mrs. Kwan?

1106
01:00:22,452 --> 01:00:25,663
Here she comes,
right on schedule.

1107
01:00:27,874 --> 01:00:29,750
Oh, yeah!

1108
01:00:29,835 --> 01:00:31,669
We're going to
ride Mrs. Kwan?

1109
01:00:32,254 --> 01:00:35,214
Sure! It's the only
way to the crate. Hop on.

1110
01:00:35,882 --> 01:00:37,550
This is gonna be good.

1111
01:00:39,261 --> 01:00:43,180
Please keep
your hands and feet
in the Kwan at all times.

1112
01:00:43,682 --> 01:00:45,016
Enjoy the ride!

1113
01:00:47,728 --> 01:00:50,062
Ladies and gentlemen,
the dining room.

1114
01:00:51,481 --> 01:00:53,190
This is the dining room?

1115
01:00:53,525 --> 01:00:55,735
Hey, look. Chandelier.

1116
01:01:02,534 --> 01:01:04,201
CONRAD: Is that the bathroom?

1117
01:01:05,746 --> 01:01:08,414
You might want to
hold it for a while.

1118
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:12,335
Something like that
really burns my...

1119
01:01:16,298 --> 01:01:20,926
This is amazing!
It's like a ride at
an amusement park!

1120
01:01:21,219 --> 01:01:24,138
You mean,
like at Universal Studios.

1121
01:01:25,724 --> 01:01:26,891
Cha-ching.

1122
01:01:28,393 --> 01:01:30,227
(ALL SCREAMING)

1123
01:01:34,441 --> 01:01:35,608
(SPUTTERING)

1124
01:01:36,943 --> 01:01:39,111
Please exit
the Kwan to your left.

1125
01:01:39,196 --> 01:01:41,072
Have a nice day!

1126
01:01:41,740 --> 01:01:44,950
JOAN: This is ridiculous.
I have to get home.

1127
01:01:45,035 --> 01:01:47,828
Police brutality.
Illegal choke hold.

1128
01:01:49,414 --> 01:01:50,456
Where are we?

1129
01:01:50,540 --> 01:01:51,540
The living room, I think.

1130
01:01:51,625 --> 01:01:53,959
Ah, man.
My eyes are closed.

1131
01:01:54,044 --> 01:01:56,921
If there's no line, could we
go back and do that again?

1132
01:01:57,005 --> 01:01:58,631
There's the crate!

1133
01:02:05,639 --> 01:02:08,682
If we shut the crate,
the house will
go back to normal.

1134
01:02:08,767 --> 01:02:10,559
You have the lock?

1135
01:02:10,644 --> 01:02:12,895
Got it. Come on, let's go.

1136
01:02:15,941 --> 01:02:17,441
Sally!

1137
01:02:17,567 --> 01:02:19,318
(CONRAD GRUNTING)

1138
01:02:19,986 --> 01:02:21,153
Come on!

1139
01:02:21,238 --> 01:02:22,363
It won't shut!

1140
01:02:23,365 --> 01:02:27,201
Sally! Everything is
disappearing up there!

1141
01:02:27,285 --> 01:02:28,285
Help!

1142
01:02:28,370 --> 01:02:29,370
Sally!

1143
01:02:29,871 --> 01:02:30,996
Oh! Oh!

1144
01:02:31,081 --> 01:02:32,331
Sal...

1145
01:02:32,416 --> 01:02:33,749
Help me, Conrad!

1146
01:02:33,834 --> 01:02:35,167
Sally!

1147
01:02:36,837 --> 01:02:40,381
Help me! I can't hold on!

1148
01:02:41,341 --> 01:02:42,758
Hang on!

1149
01:02:42,843 --> 01:02:44,260
Help me, Conrad!

1150
01:02:44,344 --> 01:02:45,553
Help!

1151
01:02:45,637 --> 01:02:47,930
Sally,
I can't reach the lock!

1152
01:02:48,014 --> 01:02:49,098
No!

1153
01:02:49,182 --> 01:02:51,934
I can't save you
unless you let go!

1154
01:02:52,769 --> 01:02:54,270
Okay.

1155
01:02:56,273 --> 01:02:58,149
Help me!

1156
01:03:00,235 --> 01:03:01,777
CONRAD: Yes.

1157
01:03:27,345 --> 01:03:28,971
(QUINN SCREAMING)

1158
01:03:36,605 --> 01:03:38,481
I did it. I did it.

1159
01:03:38,565 --> 01:03:41,317
I did it. I did it. I did it.

1160
01:03:41,401 --> 01:03:43,527
I did it. I did it.

1161
01:03:46,698 --> 01:03:49,617
Okay, "we" did it.

1162
01:03:51,495 --> 01:03:53,454
I don't think
we did anything.

1163
01:03:53,663 --> 01:03:55,164
The place is still a wreck.

1164
01:03:55,248 --> 01:03:57,833
You said
if we shut the crate,
everything would be okay!

1165
01:03:57,918 --> 01:04:00,961
But it's not.
It's a complete disaster.

1166
01:04:01,046 --> 01:04:03,088
Well, what are you gonna do?

1167
01:04:03,757 --> 01:04:05,508
Tennis, anyone?

1168
01:04:12,849 --> 01:04:13,849
(EXCLAIMS)

1169
01:04:15,602 --> 01:04:17,770
Love that new ball smell.
Yeah.

1170
01:04:18,271 --> 01:04:21,398
Hey, your hat,
it's magic again?

1171
01:04:22,275 --> 01:04:23,692
Oops.

1172
01:04:23,777 --> 01:04:25,861
Well, now that
the cat's out of the bag,

1173
01:04:25,946 --> 01:04:28,697
to use an archaic
and cruel-sounding metaphor,

1174
01:04:28,782 --> 01:04:30,115
why don't you serve first?

1175
01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:32,284
You had your real
hat this whole time?

1176
01:04:32,369 --> 01:04:35,621
Yup. I planned
the whole day.

1177
01:04:35,705 --> 01:04:37,706
What do you mean,
you planned the whole day?

1178
01:04:37,791 --> 01:04:39,375
All of it?
Yup.

1179
01:04:39,459 --> 01:04:40,751
The house getting trashed?
Yup.

1180
01:04:40,835 --> 01:04:42,545
Quinn taking Nevins?
Yup.

1181
01:04:42,629 --> 01:04:44,922
Cutting off your tail?
Nope. No.

1182
01:04:45,006 --> 01:04:46,715
(CRASHING)

1183
01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:48,968
You even knew
I'd open the crate?

1184
01:04:49,803 --> 01:04:51,470
Why do you think
I made it my one rule?

1185
01:04:51,555 --> 01:04:53,097
I knew you couldn't resist.

1186
01:04:53,181 --> 01:04:56,267
Now, who's up for a game
of Canadian doubles?

1187
01:04:56,893 --> 01:04:58,185
(GLASS SHATTERING)

1188
01:04:59,646 --> 01:05:01,730
Cat, you said
nothing bad would happen.

1189
01:05:01,815 --> 01:05:04,733
Cat, you need to get out.

1190
01:05:04,818 --> 01:05:06,235
I don't know that game.

1191
01:05:06,319 --> 01:05:09,029
It's not a game.
None of this is a game!

1192
01:05:10,657 --> 01:05:13,909
But I thought
you two wanted
to have fun today.

1193
01:05:13,994 --> 01:05:15,077
Look around, Cat.

1194
01:05:15,161 --> 01:05:18,247
You were right.
It's fun to have fun,
but you have to know how.

1195
01:05:18,331 --> 01:05:20,332
You don't know
when enough is enough.

1196
01:05:20,417 --> 01:05:21,959
Now, go!

1197
01:05:22,794 --> 01:05:24,003
Suzy.

1198
01:05:25,005 --> 01:05:26,547
Cromwell.

1199
01:05:27,424 --> 01:05:28,591
Please.

1200
01:05:28,842 --> 01:05:39,476
Out!
Out!

1201
01:05:55,493 --> 01:05:57,161
Good riddance.

1202
01:05:57,245 --> 01:06:00,414
Now, this may not be the time
for "I told you so," but...

1203
01:06:06,921 --> 01:06:08,881
Like I said,
not the time.

1204
01:06:09,341 --> 01:06:11,300
I'll get the mop
and bucket.

1205
01:06:11,384 --> 01:06:13,302
Conrad, you might
want to get out of here

1206
01:06:13,386 --> 01:06:15,471
until Mom has
a chance to calm down.

1207
01:06:16,473 --> 01:06:20,142
No.
This was my fault.
I'll take the blame.

1208
01:06:20,435 --> 01:06:21,977
Look,
Mom will be home any second.

1209
01:06:22,103 --> 01:06:23,646
Why don't you go upstairs?

1210
01:06:23,730 --> 01:06:26,273
I'm not going upstairs.
I'm staying with you.

1211
01:06:26,358 --> 01:06:27,941
Really? Why?

1212
01:06:28,068 --> 01:06:29,693
Two reasons.

1213
01:06:30,070 --> 01:06:32,154
One,
the stairs are destroyed.

1214
01:06:32,989 --> 01:06:37,034
Two, this is just as
much my fault as yours.

1215
01:06:37,619 --> 01:06:39,620
We should
share the blame.

1216
01:06:41,414 --> 01:06:43,207
Thanks, Sally.

1217
01:06:43,291 --> 01:06:46,293
By the way,
you're a pretty good brother.

1218
01:06:46,920 --> 01:06:48,212
Glad you think that.

1219
01:06:48,296 --> 01:06:50,673
Maybe we can
room together
at military school.

1220
01:06:54,219 --> 01:06:56,637
Well, here goes.

1221
01:07:05,980 --> 01:07:09,108
Bet you thought I'd gone
Bet you felt a sting

1222
01:07:09,192 --> 01:07:12,027
Bet you never thought
I'd have another song to sing

1223
01:07:12,112 --> 01:07:15,072
But now that
you've learned your lesson
Allow me to blow your mind

1224
01:07:15,156 --> 01:07:16,573
By reading to
you the small print

1225
01:07:16,658 --> 01:07:18,033
of the contract
that you signed

1226
01:07:18,118 --> 01:07:21,870
Okay, section eight,
article 93, subparagraph 834.

1227
01:07:21,955 --> 01:07:23,455
Right by the chili stain.

1228
01:07:23,540 --> 01:07:27,543
It reads, "If Conrad,
a.k.a. Concrete,
should open the crate,"

1229
01:07:27,627 --> 01:07:30,838
and we know he will,
"the contract shall
be null and void.

1230
01:07:32,132 --> 01:07:33,882
"However,

1231
01:07:33,967 --> 01:07:36,176
"if Sally and Conrad
should learn
from their mistakes,

1232
01:07:36,261 --> 01:07:38,178
"the contract
shall be reinstated."

1233
01:07:38,263 --> 01:07:41,306
And I think
you two have satisfied
the legal burden of learning.

1234
01:07:41,391 --> 01:07:42,474
Yeah!
Yeah!

1235
01:07:42,559 --> 01:07:44,268
So there's just
one last game to play.

1236
01:07:44,352 --> 01:07:45,686
It's called
"Clean Up the House."

1237
01:07:45,770 --> 01:07:50,149
Kids,
meet the Dynamic Industrial
Renovating Tractormajigger.

1238
01:07:50,650 --> 01:07:51,984
D-l-R-T?
D-l-R-T?

1239
01:07:52,068 --> 01:07:53,652
That's right!

1240
01:07:57,490 --> 01:08:00,868
It's getting
better all the time

1241
01:08:00,952 --> 01:08:04,496
I used to get
mad at my school

1242
01:08:04,581 --> 01:08:07,958
The teachers who
taught me weren't cool

1243
01:08:08,084 --> 01:08:10,002
You're holding me down

1244
01:08:10,086 --> 01:08:11,920
Turning me 'round

1245
01:08:12,005 --> 01:08:15,424
Filling me up with your rules

1246
01:08:15,508 --> 01:08:19,052
I've got to admit
it's getting better
Better

1247
01:08:19,137 --> 01:08:21,764
A little better all the time

1248
01:08:21,848 --> 01:08:23,599
It can't get no worse

1249
01:08:23,683 --> 01:08:27,269
I have to admit
it's getting better
Better

1250
01:08:27,353 --> 01:08:30,314
A little better
since you've been mine

1251
01:08:33,902 --> 01:08:37,362
Me used to be
an angry young man

1252
01:08:37,447 --> 01:08:40,115
Me hiding my head in the sand

1253
01:08:41,034 --> 01:08:44,787
You gave me the word
I finally heard

1254
01:08:44,871 --> 01:08:48,332
I'm doing
the best that I can, yeah

1255
01:08:48,416 --> 01:08:50,959
I've got to admit
it's getting better

1256
01:08:51,044 --> 01:08:54,463
Better
A little better all the time

1257
01:08:54,547 --> 01:08:55,881
Can't get no worse

1258
01:08:55,965 --> 01:08:58,091
I have to admit
it's getting better

1259
01:08:58,176 --> 01:09:00,844
Better
It's getting better

1260
01:09:00,929 --> 01:09:02,012
Since you've been mine

1261
01:09:02,096 --> 01:09:03,138
Oh, yeah!

1262
01:09:03,223 --> 01:09:04,473
Getting so much better

1263
01:09:04,557 --> 01:09:06,350
These drapes are
so out, they're in!

1264
01:09:06,434 --> 01:09:07,851
All the time

1265
01:09:07,936 --> 01:09:09,895
It's getting
better all the time

1266
01:09:10,355 --> 01:09:12,481
Better, better, better

1267
01:09:12,565 --> 01:09:13,565
Spin! Spin!

1268
01:09:13,650 --> 01:09:17,110
It's getting
better all the time

1269
01:09:17,195 --> 01:09:20,531
Better, better, better

1270
01:09:39,050 --> 01:09:43,178
I have to admit
it's getting better

1271
01:09:43,263 --> 01:09:46,723
A little better all the time

1272
01:09:46,808 --> 01:09:50,686
It can't get no worse
Yes,
I admit it's getting better

1273
01:09:50,770 --> 01:09:51,979
It's getting better

1274
01:09:52,063 --> 01:09:53,063
Bye.

1275
01:09:53,147 --> 01:09:55,148
Since you've been mine

1276
01:09:55,233 --> 01:09:59,152
Getting so much
better all the time

1277
01:10:02,824 --> 01:10:05,826
Okay, we had some good times.

1278
01:10:06,035 --> 01:10:07,619
We cleaned up the house.

1279
01:10:07,704 --> 01:10:10,372
We even managed to work in
an up-tempo pop tune
for the soundtrack.

1280
01:10:10,456 --> 01:10:12,416
That's important.

1281
01:10:13,334 --> 01:10:16,336
I guess there's just
one last thing to check.

1282
01:10:29,976 --> 01:10:31,643
Looks like
everything's in balance,

1283
01:10:31,728 --> 01:10:33,437
but you're still smoking
way too many cigars.

1284
01:10:33,521 --> 01:10:36,648
And you, lay off the sauce.

1285
01:10:39,277 --> 01:10:43,822
Cat, this day
has been amazing.

1286
01:10:45,325 --> 01:10:47,284
Thank you, Cat.

1287
01:10:50,163 --> 01:10:51,997
For everything.

1288
01:10:54,417 --> 01:10:56,168
Conrad?

1289
01:10:57,712 --> 01:10:59,671
Sally?

1290
01:11:02,008 --> 01:11:03,133
Adieu.

1291
01:11:06,012 --> 01:11:08,347
SALLY: Cat!
CONRAD: Cat!

1292
01:11:08,431 --> 01:11:09,514
Wait, Cat.

1293
01:11:09,599 --> 01:11:10,641
Don't go.

1294
01:11:18,107 --> 01:11:19,191
JOAN: All right, kids.

1295
01:11:19,275 --> 01:11:20,275
This place
better not be a mess.

1296
01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:22,736
I'm home.

1297
01:11:23,446 --> 01:11:24,863
Hi, Mom.
Hi, Mom.

1298
01:11:25,365 --> 01:11:27,324
Miss Walden, home so soon?

1299
01:11:27,450 --> 01:11:29,409
The children were angels.

1300
01:11:29,661 --> 01:11:31,036
Thanks, Mrs. Kwan.

1301
01:11:31,120 --> 01:11:32,120
Hello, Joan.

1302
01:11:33,498 --> 01:11:35,916
Lawrence,
what happened to you?

1303
01:11:37,669 --> 01:11:40,295
They happened to me.

1304
01:11:40,380 --> 01:11:43,757
Your demonic children.

1305
01:11:45,093 --> 01:11:47,344
They destroyed your house!

1306
01:11:50,056 --> 01:11:51,682
The house was alive.

1307
01:11:51,808 --> 01:11:53,433
The wall was made of paper.

1308
01:11:53,518 --> 01:11:57,396
I fell off the cliff.
And the giant cat...

1309
01:11:59,273 --> 01:12:00,816
The giant cat!

1310
01:12:02,068 --> 01:12:03,568
Tell her.

1311
01:12:03,945 --> 01:12:06,113
Larry, Larry.

1312
01:12:06,531 --> 01:12:08,365
You look terrible,

1313
01:12:09,033 --> 01:12:11,034
and my mom
thinks you're insane.

1314
01:12:11,411 --> 01:12:14,997
This is what we in sales
call "a win-win scenario."

1315
01:12:17,917 --> 01:12:20,293
Joan, you are passing up
the opportunity
of a lifetime.

1316
01:12:20,378 --> 01:12:24,047
You know what kind
of kid your boy is.

1317
01:12:24,132 --> 01:12:27,175
I mean,
who are you
going to believe?

1318
01:12:28,636 --> 01:12:32,055
You're right. I do know
what kind of kid Conrad is.

1319
01:12:32,140 --> 01:12:34,141
He can be irresponsible.
Yes.

1320
01:12:34,225 --> 01:12:35,225
He makes bad choices.

1321
01:12:35,309 --> 01:12:36,309
Yes.

1322
01:12:36,394 --> 01:12:37,978
Sometimes he makes me
want to tear my hair out.

1323
01:12:38,062 --> 01:12:39,604
Yes. Yes. Yes.

1324
01:12:39,689 --> 01:12:43,650
But he's a good kid,
and I believe in him.

1325
01:12:44,485 --> 01:12:45,861
Now, I'd like you to leave.

1326
01:12:45,945 --> 01:12:48,655
Wha... Joan. Joan.

1327
01:12:49,407 --> 01:12:52,200
Joan. Joan.

1328
01:12:52,785 --> 01:12:57,164
Oh, Joan, Joan, Joan.

1329
01:12:59,125 --> 01:13:00,125
(SNEEZES)

1330
01:13:06,007 --> 01:13:08,216
Will you marry me, Joan?

1331
01:13:09,927 --> 01:13:11,720
Oh, Joan, Joan, Joan, Joan.

1332
01:13:12,138 --> 01:13:13,764
(QUINN SOBBING)

1333
01:13:15,808 --> 01:13:17,809
Yes!
Yeah!

1334
01:13:18,853 --> 01:13:20,479
CONRAD: Yeah!

1335
01:13:21,064 --> 01:13:23,732
Oh, that's nice.

1336
01:13:23,816 --> 01:13:24,983
(SNORING)

1337
01:13:29,572 --> 01:13:30,864
MAN: Mr. Humberfloob?

1338
01:13:30,948 --> 01:13:32,074
(EXCLAIMING)

1339
01:13:32,158 --> 01:13:35,452
Almost got me again.
Enjoy the party.

1340
01:13:36,204 --> 01:13:37,204
JOAN: Mr. Humberfloob.

1341
01:13:37,288 --> 01:13:40,457
Joan, the party's a hit
and the house is immaculate.

1342
01:13:40,708 --> 01:13:42,334
Congratulations.

1343
01:13:42,794 --> 01:13:44,586
WOMAN:
Miss Walden. Miss Walden.

1344
01:13:44,712 --> 01:13:47,422
Chicka-ow,
chicka-ow, chica-yee-haw!

1345
01:13:47,507 --> 01:13:48,757
Hi, Mom.

1346
01:13:48,841 --> 01:13:50,509
Honey,
your cupcakes
are a huge hit.

1347
01:13:50,593 --> 01:13:51,927
What did you
put in them?

1348
01:13:52,011 --> 01:13:54,721
Mom, you can make
cupcakes out of anything.

1349
01:13:55,598 --> 01:13:58,517
Are you telling me
you can make cupcakes
out of anything?

1350
01:13:58,601 --> 01:13:59,810
Anything.

1351
01:13:59,936 --> 01:14:01,144
Anything?

1352
01:14:02,271 --> 01:14:04,648
So what did you
kids do today, huh?

1353
01:14:04,982 --> 01:14:08,193
NARRATOR:
Well, what would you do
if your mother asked you?

1354
01:14:08,694 --> 01:14:11,696
The family was whole,
all thanks to the Cat,

1355
01:14:11,781 --> 01:14:14,825
who was
dashing and charming,
no doubt about that.

1356
01:14:14,909 --> 01:14:16,701
He was witty and cultured

1357
01:14:16,786 --> 01:14:20,956
and, well, very endearing
and tremendously attractive,

1358
01:14:21,040 --> 01:14:23,375
but in a sort of real way.

1359
01:14:23,459 --> 01:14:25,252
You know,
kind of an approachable way

1360
01:14:25,336 --> 01:14:27,504
that I think
you don't see these days...

1361
01:14:27,588 --> 01:14:29,631
Hello! I was just...

1362
01:14:29,715 --> 01:14:32,384
I really should be going.

1363
01:14:33,469 --> 01:14:35,554
How'd they get so smart?

1364
01:14:41,102 --> 01:14:42,561
Oh, yeah!

1365
01:14:46,482 --> 01:14:47,941
(CAT LAUGHING)

1366
01:14:57,743 --> 01:14:59,494
Come on, Things!
Let's go!

1367
01:14:59,579 --> 01:15:02,247
What's on my
schedule for tomorrow?

1368
01:15:03,249 --> 01:15:06,251
What do you say
we go on vacation?

1369
01:15:06,335 --> 01:15:08,753
How about Hawaii?
I like Hawaii.

1370
01:15:10,131 --> 01:15:12,174
I should warn you,
there are certain places

1371
01:15:12,258 --> 01:15:14,259
that don't allow
certain Things.

1372
01:15:15,720 --> 01:15:18,221
Oh, Things are complicated.

1373
01:15:40,119 --> 01:15:43,079
Things are getting weird
Things are getting tough

1374
01:15:43,164 --> 01:15:46,625
Nothing's making sense
but you keep on looking up

1375
01:15:46,709 --> 01:15:50,086
They tell you to be true
You're trying every day

1376
01:15:50,171 --> 01:15:53,465
To keep it on the real
Still you gotta find a way

1377
01:15:53,549 --> 01:15:57,052
To make your mama happy
To make your papa proud

1378
01:15:57,136 --> 01:16:00,513
You wanna turn it up
but all you hear
is "tone it down"

1379
01:16:00,598 --> 01:16:04,017
So gather 'round,
I'm here to say

1380
01:16:04,101 --> 01:16:07,479
You'll never
make everybody's day

1381
01:16:07,563 --> 01:16:10,106
But while you're around
you might as well

1382
01:16:10,191 --> 01:16:13,151
Catch the tiger by its tail

1383
01:16:13,444 --> 01:16:15,779
And hang on, hang on, hang on

1384
01:16:15,863 --> 01:16:19,199
Everybody just get on,
get on, get on

1385
01:16:19,283 --> 01:16:22,661
Get started and
go on, go on, go on

1386
01:16:22,745 --> 01:16:28,166
Everybody just hold on

1387
01:16:28,334 --> 01:16:31,795
Sometimes I wanna cry
or throw the towel in

1388
01:16:31,879 --> 01:16:35,215
They try to bring me down
but I'll take it on the chin

1389
01:16:35,341 --> 01:16:38,760
And everywhere I go
the people are the same

1390
01:16:38,844 --> 01:16:42,180
They just want to know
that everything will be okay

1391
01:16:42,348 --> 01:16:45,767
When things are getting rough
you turn it back around

1392
01:16:45,851 --> 01:16:49,187
You gotta turn it up
when they tell
you "tone it down"

1393
01:16:49,355 --> 01:16:52,607
So gather 'round,
I'm here to say

1394
01:16:52,692 --> 01:16:56,111
You'll never
make everybody's day

1395
01:16:56,195 --> 01:16:58,738
But while you're around
you might as well

1396
01:16:58,823 --> 01:17:01,866
Catch the tiger by its tail

1397
01:17:02,118 --> 01:17:04,411
And hang on, hang on, hang on

1398
01:17:04,495 --> 01:17:07,747
Everybody just get on,
get on, get on

1399
01:17:07,915 --> 01:17:11,293
Get started and
go on, go on, go on

1400
01:17:11,377 --> 01:17:15,588
Everybody just hold on

1401
01:17:15,673 --> 01:17:20,635
Just hang on

1402
01:17:34,734 --> 01:17:37,902
So gather 'round,
I'm here to say

1403
01:17:37,987 --> 01:17:41,364
You'll never
make everybody's day

1404
01:17:41,449 --> 01:17:44,159
But while you're around
you might as well

1405
01:17:44,243 --> 01:17:47,162
Catch the tiger by its tail

1406
01:17:47,246 --> 01:17:49,622
And hang on, hang on, hang on

1407
01:17:49,707 --> 01:17:53,126
Everybody just get on,
get on, get on

1408
01:17:53,210 --> 01:17:56,546
Get started and
go on, go on, go on

1409
01:17:56,630 --> 01:18:01,593
Everybody just hold on

1410
01:18:01,677 --> 01:18:03,553
Hang on, hang on, hang on

1411
01:18:03,637 --> 01:18:06,890
Everybody just get on,
get on, get on

1412
01:18:06,974 --> 01:18:10,393
Get started and
go on, go on, go on

1413
01:18:10,478 --> 01:18:14,647
Everybody just hold on

1414
01:18:14,732 --> 01:18:20,195
Just hang on