(Monk) WHAT TIME DOES SHE GET IN?
(Sharona) ANY MINUTE. WE HAVE TO HURRY.
(Monk) ALL RIGHT, I FINALLY GET TO MEET
THE FAMOUS AUNT MINN. YEP.
HAVE YOU TOLD HER ABOUT ME?
I THINK YOUR NAME'S COME UP ONCE OR TWICE.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
I TOLD HER THE TRUTH. SORRY.
OH, HOLD ON, SHARONA. WAIT.
WE'RE ON THE WRONG FLOOR.
THIS IS DEPARTURES.
ARRIVALS, UPSTAIRS.
I THINK YOU'D BETTER SIT DOWN.
OKAY, I GOT GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HEAR FIRST? NEITHER.
WELL, YOU GOTTA PICK ONE.
I DON'T WANT TO.
IF YOU TELL ME THE GOOD NEWS FIRST,
I WON'T ENJOY IT
BECAUSE I'LL BE WORRYIN' ABOUT THE BAD NEWS,
WHICH IS COMING NEXT.
BUT IF YOU TELL ME THE BAD NEWS FIRST,
I WON'T EVEN GET A CHANCE TO ENJOY THE GOOD NEWS
BECAUSE I KNOW-- OKAY, OKAY. ADRIAN, ADRIAN.
JUST STOP IT.
[groans] OKAY, I'M JUST GONNA SAY IT.
WE'RE NOT HERE TO PICK UP AUNT MINN.
YES, WE ARE. NO, NO. WE'RE NOT.
AUNT MINN'S NOT COMING HERE.
I'M GOING THERE.
MY, UH, FLIGHT LEAVES IN ABOUT AN HOUR
AND I'M GONNA BE GONE FOR SEVEN DAYS. IN A ROW?
YEAH, IN A ROW.
I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU
'CAUSE I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA FREAK OUT.
NOW, YOU COULD EITHER STAY HERE-- BY MYSELF?
NO, NO, NO.
MY SISTER WOULD LOOK IN ON YOU.
OR YOU CAN COME WITH ME-- I PACKED YOUR THINGS.
NO, NO, I--
OKAY, I'M GONNA NEED A DAY OR TWO TO THINK ABOUT IT.
YOU ONLY GOT FIVE MINUTES.
[male announcer over PA] THIS IS THE FINAL BOARDING CALL
FOR ALPHA AIR FLIGHT 395 TO BOSTON.
ALL PASSENGERS, PLEASE PROCEED TO GATE 10.
AGAIN, THIS IS THE FINAL BOARDING CALL
FOR ALPHA AIR'S FLIGHT 395 TO BOSTON.
ALL PASSENGERS SHOULD PROCEED TO GATE 10.
ADRIAN?
WHAT'S IT GONNA BE?
UH...I'M GONNA STAY HERE.
BY YOURSELF?
NO, I'M GONNA COME WITH YOU.
ON THE PLANE?
YOU SURE?
COULD I BORROW YOUR LIPSTICK?
IT WAS THE ONLY THING WE COULDN'T MATCH.
[silenced gunshots]
[jazzy upbeat music]
*
[female announcer over P.A.] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
PLEASE NOTE, NATIONWIDE AIRLINES FLIGHT 476
TO ST. LOUIS HAS BEEN DELAYED.
I CAN ASSURE YOU, MR. MONK,
THIS PARTICULAR AIRCRAFT HAS AN EXCELLENT SAFETY RECORD.
COULD I SEE IT? ADRIAN.
HE DOESN'T HAVE THE SAFETY RECORD WITH HIM.
HOW LONG WOULD IT TAKE YOU TO GET A COPY?
(woman) NOW HE WANTS TO SEE THE SAFETY RECORD.
UGH! HE'S GONNA SIT RIGHT NEXT TO ME.
I KNOW IT.
AND THE--THE LAST TIME
THE PLANE WAS DISINFECTED WAS WHEN, WOULD YOU SAY?
[male announcer over P.A.] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
PLEASE NOTE ALL UNATTENDED LUGGAGE...
ADRIAN, EMPTY YOUR POCKETS AND PUT YOUR STUFF IN HERE.
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO PUT THEM IN BAGGIES, SIR.
NO, HE DID.
NAIL CLIPPERS.
YOU CAN'T BRING THESE ON BOARD. SORRY.
SO SHE CAN'T FLY. IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?
WE HAVE TO STAY HERE.
NO, WE HAVE TO CONFISCATE THEM.
YOU SURE YOU WANNA GO WITHOUT YOUR NAIL CLIPPERS?
I'LL JUST BUY NEW ONES WHEN WE GET THERE.
BUT THEY MAY NOT HAVE THAT EXACT SAME MODEL.
AH, I DON'T CARE.
(woman) THANK YOU. GO AHEAD.
OKAY, SIR. STEP THROUGH, PLEASE.
YES. JUST STEP THROUGH, SIR.
[metal detector beeps]
BODY CHECK.
SIR, PUT YOUR ARMS UP, PLEASE.
[static blips]
[detector whines]
[static blips]
[detector whines]
HOW DID IT GO?
EVERYTHING WORKED OUT EXACTLY AS I PLANNED.
THEY'LL NEVER FIND HER.
LET'S GO.
[female announcer over P.A.] ATTENTION, PASSENGERS,
BLUE SKY AIR'S FLIGHT...
ADRIAN? HEY.
ARE YOU OKAY?
YOU WANT A SEDATIVE?
THEY'RE VERY MILD. NO. NO, THANKS.
WELL, I BOUGHT SOME MAGAZINES.
YOU BOUGHT ALL THOSE?
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
IT JUST SEEMS LIKE A LOT OF EXTRA WEIGHT.
I AM TELLING YOU, IT'S GONNA BE FINE.
IT'S THE SAFEST WAY TO TRAVEL. I KNOW.
STATISTICALLY, IT'S VERY SAFE.
BUT HERE'S MY PROBLEM.
YOU SEE THAT PLANE TAKING OFF?
I KNOW IT HAPPENS 10,000 TIMES A DAY, BUT IT'S REALLY--
IT'S REALLY NOT POSSIBLE, IS IT, WHEN YOU REALLY--
I MEAN, HOW CAN THEY FLY?
THEY'RE--THEY'RE MADE OF METAL.
THEY WEIGH 200 TONS.
PLUS, NOW YOU'RE ADDING ALL THE MAGAZINES.
ADRIAN, ADRIAN.
LOOK, I KNOW THIS IS VERY HARD FOR YOU.
IT'S A VERY BIG STEP.
AND I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU.
WELCOME.
MRS. CHABROL, IS YOUR HUSBAND WITH YOU?
OH, YES, HE'S JUST, UM,
JUST RUNNING A LITTLE LATE.
(man) WELL, HE BETTER HURRY.
WE'RE JUST ABOUT READY TO GO, MA'AM.
NEXT PASSENGER, PLEASE?
MR. MONK!
IT'S NICE TO HAVE YOU WITH US.
[nervous laughter]
OH, HE'S JUST A LITTLE NERVOUS.
OH, THERE'S NOTHING TO BE NERVOUS ABOUT.
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LET GO OF THAT TICKET.
OKAY. WAIT.
OKAY, TAKE IT. TAKE IT.
QUICK. QUICK.
TROUBLE AHEAD. OH, YEAH.
THIS IS-- THIS ISN'T SO BAD.
THIS IS FIRST CLASS. KEEP WALKIN'.
WE'RE IN STEERAGE. OH.
OH, MY GOD! WHAT?
OH, MY GOD, THAT IS TIM DALY!
I LOVE HIM!
WHAT IS HE, SOME KIND OF ACTOR?
YEAH! YEAH! HE WAS ON THAT SHOW WINGS.
NEVER SAW IT. WAS IT GOOD?
WELL, HE WAS.
HOW YA DOIN'?
OH. HERE, HERE.
ADRIAN, ROW 11. THIS IS US.
"C" AND "D."
[woman scoffs] I KNEW IT.
WHY DO I ATTRACT THE CRAZIES?
NOW, DO YOU WANT THE AISLE OR THE MIDDLE?
OKAY, I'LL--I'LL TAKE THE...
AISLE.
YOU SURE? AISLE. AISLE.
NO, G--UM, NAH, MIDDLE. MIDDLE. OH, MIDDLE.
AISLE! AISLE! I'M JUST GONNA--WAIT.
MISTER. MISTER. AISLE--MIDDLE.
TAKE THIS ONE. I WON'T MIND.
OH, NO, NO, NO.
PLEASE DON'T OFFER HIM A THIRD CHOICE.
HIS HEAD WILL EXPLODE. BUT... [laughs]
BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH, SIR.
THANK YOU. SIT IN THE MIDDLE.
(woman) IT ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME. ALWAYS.
I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT.
GOOD CHOICE.
SO YOU BUSINESS OR PLEASURE?
UH, W--WE'RE GOING TO VISIT HER AUNT IN NEW JERSEY.
SO NEITHER.
[laughs softly]
I'M WARREN BEACH.
"BEACH" LIKE CONEY ISLAND.
OH, ADRIAN MONK.
HI, ADRIAN. HOW ARE YOU?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I'M NOT SICK. NO, HE IS.
WHAT IS THAT?
OH, UM, THAT'S A DIAGRAM.
IT SHOWS YOU WHAT TO DO IN CASE THERE'S AN EMERGENCY.
HOW MUCH TIME DO WE HAVE TO STUDY THIS?
[laughter]
OH, HE'S NOT EXACTLY A FREQUENT FLYER, YOU KNOW.
EXCUSE ME, COULD I HAVE A SCOTCH AND WATER, PLEASE?
(female flight attendant) NOT TILL WE'RE AIRBORNE.
ARE YOU OKAY?
I JUST DON'T FLY VERY OFTEN.
[chime rings]
WHAT'S THAT? OH.
THAT'S YOUR CALL BUTTON
IN CASE YOU NEED HELP.
[chime rings repeatedly]
CAN I HELP YOU?
I WAS JUST TESTING THE BUTTON.
[chime rings repeatedly] SEEMS TO BE WORKING.
SO YOU CAN STOP NOW.
ADRIAN. ADRIAN. [chime rings repeatedly]
SIT DOWN. SIT DOWN.
LET ME GUESS.
FIRST TIME ON A PLANE?
OH, NO, NO. I'VE BEEN ON A PLANE BEFORE.
WHERE'D YOU GO?
WELL, UH, DIDN'T ACTUALLY GO ANYWHERE.
BEFORE WE TOOK OFF, I WAS CRYING SO MUCH,
THEY ASKED MY MOTHER AND ME TO LEAVE THE PLANE.
TELL HER HOW OLD YOU WERE.
I WAS, UH, 20...7.
[laughs softly]
11-D'S A REAL SQUAWKER.
DO YOU NEED ANY HELP? ME?
HONEY, I'VE BEEN DOING THIS JOB FOR 19 YEARS.
I'VE NEVER MET A RIDER I COULDN'T HANDLE.
SO AS A FIRST TIME FLYER,
YOU ARE SITTING NEXT TO THE RIGHT PERSON!
LOOK AT THAT. THAT IS THE MILLION-MILE PIN!
I'M IN SALES.
I FLY TWO, THREE TIMES A WEEK. NEVER HAD AN ACCIDENT.
YOU SEE?
EXCEPT LAST JANUARY
IN SAN DIEGO,
WE OVERSHOT THE RUNWAY.
WE HAD TO DITCH INTO THE OCEAN.
YOU KNOW, THOSE BROCHURES ARE NOT ALWAYS SO ACCURATE.
IN REAL LIFE,
PEOPLE ARE FIGHTING OVER THE LIFE PRESERVERS.
AND YOU KNOW HOW THEY SAY YOUR CUSHION FLOATS?
NOT ALL OF THEM DO.
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE.
[woman coughing repeatedly]
[chime rings repeatedly]
WE MEET AGAIN.
EXCUSE ME, THAT WOMAN BACK THERE IS COUGHING AND COUGHING.
SHE'S NOT COVERING HER MOUTH.
I'M NOT HER MOTHER. I KNOW. IT'S THE AIR.
IT'S ALL RE-CIRCULATING
AND IT FEELS LIKE SHE'S COUGHING RIGHT ON ME.
WE HAVE A SPECIAL SUPPLY OF FRESH AIR UP FRONT.
I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THIS,
BUT I'M GONNA HAVE THE CAPTAIN
PIPE IT DIRECTLY INTO YOUR BLOWER, OKAY?
OKAY.
AH, DON'T TELL ANYBODY ELSE.
THANK YOU.
SHE WAS PATRONIZING ME, WASN'T SHE?
YOU SURE COMPLAIN A LOT.
THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK YOUR NAME IS?
MR. COMPLAINY.
[laughs] KID'S GOT YOUR NUMBER.
YES, IT'S THE FOURTH ROW. OH, BARBARA.
STEFAN! THANK GOD. WHERE WERE YOU?
UH, I WENT TO THE WRONG GATE.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
HER PIN. HER PIN.
WHAT PIN?
THAT--THAT WOMAN'S PIN.
SHE HAS A MILLION-MILE PIN.
SO?
SHE TOLD THE STEWARDESS THAT SHE NEVER FLIES.
THAT'S PRETTY SHARP.
YOU OUGHT TO BE A DETECTIVE.
OH, HE IS A DETECTIVE.
THAT'S WHY HE NOTICES LITTLE THINGS LIKE THAT.
NOTICING LITTLE THINGS.
BASICALLY, THAT'S ALL A SALESMAN DOES.
LISTEN, IF YOU EVER NEED A JOB, CALL ME.
EXTENSION CORDS?
THE LARGEST DISTRIBUTOR OF EXTENSION CORDS IN THE WORLD.
WE HAVE 65% OF THE DOMESTIC MARKET.
WE MAKE THREE-FOOTERS, SIX-FOOTERS,
NINE-FOOTERS-- THAT'S OUR BIG SELLER.
IT'S 50% LONGER THAN THE SIX-FOOTER.
THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S ALL YOU SELL?
I'M FULFILLED.
I MEAN, EVERYBODY TAKES EXTENSION CORDS FOR GRANTED,
BUT JUST TRY TO IMAGINE
HOW THE WORLD WOULD BE WITHOUT THEM.
I GUESS ALL THE FURNITURE WOULD BE A LOT CLOSER TO THE WALLS.
EXACTLY. "IF IT DOESN'T REACH, CALL WARREN BEACH."
[captain over P.A.] GOOD MORNING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
AH, THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING.
[stuttering] WE'RE MOVING. WE'RE ROLLING.
WE'RE GOING. WE'RE MOVING.
WE HAVE TO MOVE. THAT'S HOW IT WORKS.
[flight attendant over P.A.] WELCOME TO NATIONWIDE AIRWAYS FLIGHT 635
NONSTOP TO NEWARK, NEW JERSEY.
IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT OF LOSS OF CABIN PRESSURE,
AN OXYGEN MASK WILL DROP AUTOMATICALLY
FROM THE OVERHEAD COMPARTMENT.
I'M SORRY. YOU WERE TALKING SO FAST.
UH, THE--THE OVERHEAD WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?
COMPARTMENT.
SIMPLY PLACE THE MASK OVER YOUR NOSE AND MOUTH
AND BREATHE NORMALLY. I'M SORRY.
COULD--COULD YOU JUST SAY THAT LITTLE PART AGAIN?
I-I-I COULDN'T SEE.
SIMPLY PLACE THE MASK OVER YOUR NOSE AND MOUTH
AND BREATHE NORMALLY.
MAYBE WE SHOULD TEST THEM.
WE DON'T NEED TO TEST THEM.
BUT--BUT HOW DO WE KNOW THAT THEY'RE WORKING?
(woman) WHAT?
THEY ALL WORK, OKAY?
THERE ARE FOUR EXITS IN THE AIRCRAFT. EXCUSE ME.
TWO IN THE FORECA--
EXCUSE ME. UH, SHH!
"TWO IN THE FORWARD SECTION." GO ON.
AND ONE OVER EACH WING.
IN THE EVENT OF AN EVACUATION,
WE ARE ASKING PASSENGERS SEATED NEAREST TO THE EXITS--
[stuttering] I'M SO SORRY.
HOW CAN WE BE SURE THAT WE HAVE THE BEST PEOPLE
SITTING NEAR THE EXITS?
IF YOU DON'T THINK THAT THE CABIN IS SAFE,
PERHAPS YOU'D BE MORE COMFORTABLE FLYING DOWNSTAIRS
IN THE CARGO BAY?
[laughter and applause] OH.
SHE GOT YA, ADRIAN.
CAN'T FIND HER-- UH, MY PASSPORT.
I CAN'T-- RELAX. RELAX.
MAYBE IT'S IN THE OTHER BAG.
I'LL TAKE A LOOK.
SIR? MA'AM. PLEASE SIT DOWN.
WE'RE UNDERWAY.
OH. THANK GOD.
EXCUSE ME.
CHECK IT OUT. CHECK IT OUT.
PLEASE, SIT DOWN!
YOU MUST TAKE YOUR SEATS.
(Monk) WHEN THEY KISSED IN THE TERMINAL,
SHE HAD TO STAND ON TIPTOE.
SHE'S GROWN AT LEAST TWO INCHES.
VOILA. SIT DOWN, BARBARA.
THANK YOU.
OOH! HERE WE GO. HERE WE GO.
EXCUSE ME, I CAN'T FEEL MY FINGERS.
SHARONA, I HAVE A BAD FEELING.
I'M TELLING YOU, IT'S PERFECTLY SAFE.
I DON'T MEAN THE PLANE.
THAT MAN.
I THINK HE MURDERED HIS WIFE.
YOU DO?
(female flight attendant) CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK?
DO YOU LIKE RIDDLES?
WHY, YES.
GOOD. 'CAUSE I HAVE ONE. DID I SAY YES?
I MEANT NO.
PETE AND REPEAT WERE IN A BOAT.
PETE FELL OUT. WHO WAS LEFT?
REPEAT.
PETE AND REPEAT WERE IN A BOAT.
PETE FELL OUT. WHO WAS LEFT?
REPEAT.
PETE AND REPEAT WERE IN A BOAT.
PETE FELL OUT. WHO WAS LEFT?
REPEAT.
PETE AND REPEAT WERE IN A BOAT.
PETE FELL OUT. WHO WAS LEFT?
IS THAT A NEW SCRIPT?
YEAH. I CAN'T DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT TO DO IT.
HIT MAN'S DIARY. HMM.
IF YOU DO IT, ARE YOU GONNA SHAVE YOUR GOATEE?
WHY?
WELL, IT'S--IT'S--IT'S JUST SOMETHING THAT I NOTICE.
UM, WHEN YOU'RE CLEAN SHAVEN, WHATEVER YOU'RE IN IS A BIG HIT.
REALLY? MM-HMM.
WELL, THINK ABOUT IT.
UM, YOU GOT DINER, WINGS, EARTH TO THE MOON--
THEY--THEY--THEY WERE HUGE.
THAT'S TRUE.
AND I GOT AN AGENT, A LAWYER, AND A MANAGER,
AND THEY NEVER NOTICED THAT.
AND WHEN YOU HAD A MUSTACHE
IN YEAR OF THE COMET, IT...
BOMBED.
PETE AND REPEAT WERE IN A BOAT.
PETE FELL OUT. WHO WAS LEFT?
[whispers] REPEAT.
PETE AND REPEAT WERE IN A BOAT.
PETE FELL OUT. WHO WAS LEFT?
[labored] REPEAT.
PETE AND REPEAT WERE IN A BOAT.
PETE FELL OUT. WHO WAS LEFT?
[whimpering] REPEAT.
PETE AND REPEAT WERE IN A BOAT.
PETE FELL OUT.
WHO WAS LEFT?
REPEAT.
THANK YOU.
PETE AND REPEAT WERE IN A BOAT.
PETE FELL OUT. WHO WAS LEFT?
REPEAT.
PETE AND REPEAT WERE IN A BOAT.
PETE FELL OUT. WHO WAS LEFT? [chime rings repeatedly]
REPEAT.
MR. MONK?
OH, THANK GOD.
WILL YOU HELP ME?
SHE IS RELENTLESS.
MR. MONK,
I HAVE 105 OTHER PASSENGERS.
THE CALL BELL IS FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
GOOD.
WHERE'S YOUR FRIEND? I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
OH, SHE'S, UH, SHE'S IN THE BATHROOM.
NO, SHE'S NOT. IT SAYS, "UNOCCUPIED."
I HOPE SHE DIDN'T LEAVE.
[laughs] HOW FAR COULD SHE GO?
IT'S AN AIRPLANE.
LISTEN, ADRIAN. YOU'RE A MAN OF THE WORLD.
I THINK YOU WOULD APPRECIATE THIS.
YOU SEE WHAT I GOT IN MY HANDS, HERE?
THIS IS THE LONGEST
TRI-PRONG, TRI-OUTLET CORD
EVER MADE DOMESTICALLY.
UH-HUH. IT'S 18 FEET HERE.
WE CALL IT "THE ANACONDA."
IT'S GOT A HOOK.
THIS IS A SPECIAL FEATURE, THE HOOK.
HERE. JUST WATCH.
YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO-- LISTEN. THERE.
LOOK AT HOW GOOD IT HOOKS. BINGO!
WOULD YOU LIKE TO READ THIS?
ME? YEAH.
I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.
YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT I THINK?
SHARONA.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
ADRIAN, I'M BUSY.
I NEED HELP.
UM, THIS IS MY BOSS, ADRIAN MONK.
OH, HI, TIM DALY.
YEAH. HELLO.
UH, I'M TOLD YOU'RE VERY TALENTED.
I REALLY NEED YOU BACK THERE.
WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO YOUR SEAT?
COUNT THE CLOWNS.
I ALREADY DID. 23.
EXCUSE ME.
SHE'S NOT ALLOWED UP HERE IS SHE?
I'M SORRY, MA'AM.
YOU HAVE TO GO BACK TO COACH.
YOU TATTLED ON HER?
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
YOU'RE A FREAKIN' TATTLETALE.
HE CALLED ME A FREAKIN' TATTLETALE.
FOURTH ROW BACK. OVERHEAD COMPARTMENT.
OH, EXCUSE ME.
I JUST NEED AN EXTRA BLANKET.
I THINK I SAW ONE UP HERE.
GOT IT. THANKS.
I GOT IT.
STEFAN "CHAB ROLL." C-H-A-B-R-O-L.
THEY HAVE A CONNECTING FLIGHT TO PARIS AT 5:15.
PARIS.
NOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND,
TIM DALY WANTS ME TO READ THE SCRIPT FOR HIM.
YOU REALLY THINK HE KILLED HIS WIFE?
HE ALWAYS THINKS PEOPLE ARE KILLING EACH OTHER.
THAT'S TRUE.
AND I'LL TELL YOU WHY. BECAUSE THEY ARE.
LISTEN, ADRIAN,
I'M A PRETTY GOOD JUDGE OF PEOPLE.
IF I WASN'T, I COULDN'T SELL EXTENSION CORDS.
SO I THINK I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
YOU'RE UNDER A LOT OF STRESS.
AND YOU ARE TRYING TO AVOID THINKING
THAT THIS PLANE IS GOING TO CRASH INTO A MOUNTAIN.
THANK YOU.
SO YOU'RE DESPERATELY TRYING
TO THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE TO WORRY ABOUT!
HE'S RIGHT.
YOU REALLY THINK SO?
YOU GOTTA RELAX.
LET ME BUY YOU A DRINK.
I DON'T DRINK.
YOU DON'T DRINK. OKAY.
WELL, WAIT, I GOT AN IDEA HERE.
THIS IS A GOOD IDEA.
IT'S BRAND-NEW. NOT OPENED.
THERE YOU GO.
PUT THIS OVER YOUR FACE. THERE YOU GO.
NOW KICK YOUR SHOES OFF.
WE'RE GONNA TEACH YOU TO RELAX, ADRIAN.
GOOD, GOOD, OKAY?
PUSH YOUR SEAT BACK. GIVE HIM A PUSH.
GO BACK. AH!
THERE HE GOES BACK.
THERE YOU GO!
DO YOU MIND?
NO. NO, I DON'T MIND.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW?
I FEEL BETTER.
GOOD. FORGET YOUR PROBLEMS.
GO TO A HAPPY PLACE.
GO TO SEAWORLD.
I DON'T LIKE CROWDS.
IT'S CLOSED. IT'S A HOLIDAY.
YOU'RE THERE ALONE. EASY.
THERE WAS NO MURDER, WAS THERE?
NO.
THERE ARE NO KILLERS ABOARD.
NO KILLERS.
[silent]
(female flight attendant) MRS. CHABROL. THERE WE GO.
OH, WHAT--WHAT'S THIS?
YOUR VEGETARIAN MEAL.
OH, NO, NO.
NO, I-I WANTED TURKEY.
OH, I'M SORRY.
DIDN'T YOU CALL AHEAD FOR THE VEGETARIAN?
UH, I ORDERED IT, SWEETHEART.
REMEMBER? I TOLD YOU. OH!
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
WHAT?
SHE FORGOT SHE WAS A VEGETARIAN?
WHO FORGETS THEY'RE VEGETARIAN?
IT'S LIKE FORGETTING YOU'RE REPUBLICAN.
SOMETHING'S GOING ON HERE.
I'M GONNA CALL CAPTAIN STOTTLEMEYER
AS SOON AS WE LAND.
WHY DON'T YOU CALL HIM NOW?
THAT'S A PHONE.
[telephone rings]
DISHER.
IT'S ADRIAN MONK. IS THE CAPTAIN THERE?
NO, MONK. IT'S SUNDAY.
WHERE ARE YOU?
UH, I'M, UH, I'M IN AN AIRPLANE.
FLYING. UH, I'M FLYING.
HAVE YOU BEEN KIDNAPPED?
NO. GOING TO NEW JERSEY.
ON AN AIRPLANE.
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
LISTEN.
DID ANYTHING STRANGE HAPPEN AT THE AIRPORT THIS MORNING?
STRANGE AS IN WHAT?
DID--DID A BODY TURN UP?
FEMALE, 5'7", MID-FORTIES.
HOLD ON.
[typing]
NO, NOT A THING.
WHAT'S GOIN' ON, MONK?
PASSENGER ON THE PLANE.
THINK HE MIGHT HAVE MURDERED HIS WIFE JUST BEFORE WE LEFT.
MONK, THERE'S NOTHING ON THE SHEET.
COULD YOU CHECK THE GUY OUT?
NAME IS STEFAN CHABROL.
C-H-A-B-R-O-L.
FINE. I'LL DO WHAT I CAN.
ARE YOU REALLY UP THERE IN AN AIRPLANE?
IT'S BETTER THAN BEING UP HERE NOT IN AN AIRPLANE.
I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
OKAY.
[gears shifting]
WHAT'S THAT? WHAT IS THAT?
I DON'T KNOW. THE FLAPS OR SOMETHING.
DID YOU SEE THAT?
NO.
DID YOU SEE--HE KNEW WE WERE GONNA TURN.
HE KNOWS ABOUT PLANES.
SHARONA, WAKE UP. SHARONA.
[whispering] WAKE UP.
HE KNOWS ABOUT AIRPLANES.
HE LIFTED HIS GLASS.
DISHER.
RANDY, I THINK HE WORKS FOR THE AIRLINES.
Y--YEAH, HANG ON. I JUST FOUND HIM.
YOU'RE RIGHT. HE'S A PILOT.
HE FLIES FOR PARIS AIR.
HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?
I'LL TELL YOU LATER.
IS THERE ANYTHING ON THE WIFE?
YEAH, WIFE.
BARBARA. MAIDEN NAME LESSER.
SHE'S A TRUST FUND BABY.
DETAILS.
WELL, HER FAMILY OWNS LESSER PHARMACEUTICALS.
HER MOTHER AND FATHER BOTH DECEASED.
IF STEFAN WANTED TO BE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN,
AND KEEP THE CASH FLOWING...
THEY'D HAVE TO PRETEND THE WIFE WAS STILL ALIVE.
THERE'S YOUR MOTIVE.
CHABROL FOUND AN ACCOMPLICE WHO'S BARBARA LESSER'S DOUBLE.
A DEAD RINGER.
THEY KILLED HER AT THE AIRPORT
AFTER SHE CHECKED IN.
SO OFFICIALLY, SHE'S BOARDED THE PLANE
AND THEY'RE PROBABLY NEVER COMING BACK.
THEY'RE JUST GONNA STAY IN FRANCE AND COLLECT THE MONEY.
WELL, WE NEED A BODY, MONK.
WHERE'S THE BODY?
THAT'S THE QUESTION.
THEY HAD TO MAKE SURE IT WOULD NEVER BE FOUND.
WELL, IT CAN'T BE ON THE PLANE.
IT'S STILL GOTTA BE AT THE AIRPORT SOMEWHERE.
MONK, I'M ON MY WAY.
OH, EXCUSE ME.
I KNOW THIS MAY BE NONE OF MY BUSINESS,
BUT YOU SEE THAT MAN IN 11-D,
DO YOU KNOW HIM? NO.
SHOULD I?
WELL, HE'S BEEN TALKING ABOUT YOU THE WHOLE TRIP.
HE THINKS YOU MURDERED YOUR WIFE.
HE WHAT? YEAH. DON'T WORRY.
NO ONE'S GONNA BELIEVE HIM.
HE'S A REAL FRUITCAKE.
BUT YOU MIGHT WANNA--
MIGHT WANNA KEEP AN EYE ON HIM, YOU KNOW?
YES. YES, I WILL.
I'M TELLIN' YOU.
YOU'RE WASTING MY TIME AND YOUR TIME.
THIS AIRPORT'S THE MOST SECURE
PIECE OF REAL ESTATE IN THE CITY.
IF THERE WAS A BODY SOMEWHERE, WE WOULD HAVE FOUND IT.
NOW, I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GETTING
YOUR INFORMATION FROM--
I'LL TELL YOU WHERE I'M GETTING
MY INFORMATION FROM: ADRIAN MONK.
MAYBE YOU'VE HEARD OF HIM.
NO.
STEFAN!
BERNARD.
WHAT A SMALL WORLD.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?
NO.
I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOUR FATHER.
GOD REST HIS SOUL.
ARE YOU HEADING BACK HOME?
UH, THAT'S RIGHT. YES, ME TOO.
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE THE BIG ANNIVERSARY PARTY. AH.
BARBARA, RAVISSANTE, COMME TOUJOURS.
IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.
TO MEET ME?
WELL, YOU DON'T REMEMBER.
YOU'RE BREAKING AN OLD MAN'S HEART.
I TAUGHT YOU HOW TO WALTZ THAT NIGHT.
OH, YES. OF COURSE YOU DID.
I'M SORRY. I'D FORGOTTEN.
[speaking French]
I'M SORRY, I DON'T SPEAK FRENCH.
SINCE WHEN?
WE SPOKE FOR OVER AN HOUR.
THAT WAS ONLY THREE YEARS AGO.
UH, BERNARD.
[whispering in French]
EXCUSE ME.
OH! I'M SO SORRY, MONSIEUR. I AM SORRY.
LET ME GET YOU A NAPKIN.
NO. NO, I'M--I'M FINE.
VERY WELL.
SHARONA, WAKE UP.
WAKE UP! WAKE UP!
HE SPILLED HIS WINE.
OH. IT'S--IT'S STAINING.
I CAN FEEL IT.
STAIN REMOVER.
ADD WATER AND RUB IT IN.
WOULD YOU DO IT?
I--IF YOU DID IT,
THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE TO DO IT.
[captain over P.A.] THIS IS THE CAPTAIN.
WE'RE EXPERIENCING SOME MINOR TURBULENCE.
PLEASE REMAIN SEATED.
WE SHOULD BE OUT OF THIS MOMENTARILY.
COULD YOU PUT YOUR TRAY UP, MA'AM?
HERE. LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT.
MAY I HELP YOU?
I, UH...
I WAS LOOKING FOR SOME, UH, MAGAZINES.
OH, MERCI.
AH, THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING.
THE WOMAN IS OBVIOUSLY NOT BARBARA.
[laughing] I SAW NOTHING.
I KNEW YOU'D UNDERSTAND.
TO OUR WIVES AND LOVERS.
MAY THEY NEVER MEET.
[whispers in French]
HELLO? [banging on door]
EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME.
HELLO! [fiddling with latch]
HELLO?
THIS ISN'T HAPPENING. HELLO?
ADRIAN.
ADRIAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?
WHAT IS THAT?
IT'S MY WILL.
EXCUSE ME.
EXCUSE ME, NEIL!
WHAT? WE HAVE A SITUATION.
YOU BETTER CALL BOBBY.
HE'S DEAD.
(female flight attendant) WE COULD DIVERT TO PITTSBURGH.
NO, THIS TIME OF DAY,
THEY'D PROBABLY GIVE US PRIORITY RIGHT INTO NEWARK.
WHAT IS THIS?
THAT'S HEART MEDICINE.
WELL, THE GUY HAD A HEART ATTACK.
I DON'T THINK SO.
ARE YOU A DOCTOR?
NO, SIR. I'M A HOMICIDE DETECTIVE.
CAN I SEE SOME I.D.?
WELL, ACTUALLY, UM, I'M NOT CURRENTLY ACTIVE.
MM-HMM.
BUT THERE IS A SITUATION ON THE PLANE.
I'VE BEEN WATCHING TWO OF YOUR PASSENGERS.
I THINK THEY MIGHT HAVE BEEN INVOLVED
IN A HOMICIDE BACK AT THE AIRPORT.
AND IN THIS. BOBBY.
THIS IS THE MAN THAT I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT.
SIR, I'M GONNA ASK YOU TO GO BACK TO YOUR SEAT.
NO, NO. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
YOU'RE MAKING A SCENE.
NOW, PLEASE, TURN AROUND AND GO BACK TO YOUR SEAT.
[whisper] WINE GLASS.
WHAT HAPPENED?
THE OLD MAN KNEW THAT'S NOT HIS REAL WIFE.
I THINK THEY KILLED HIM.
THEY WHAT?
CAN YOU PROVE IT?
AN AUTOPSY WOULD.
BUT THAT'D TAKE THREE OR FOUR DAYS.
THEY'LL BE IN FRANCE BY THEN.
IT'D TAKE YEARS TO EXTRADITE THEM.
UNLESS I HAVE PROOF.
PHYSICAL PROOF.
WHAT IS IT?
I DON'T KNOW.
SOME KIND OF POWDER. DO YOU HAVE A MATCH?
YES. GET A LOAD OF THIS.
THE COMPANY GAVE ME THIS
FOR SELLING 1,000 MILES OF EXTENSION CORD.
WHAT IS IT WE'RE DOING NOW, ADRIAN?
BURNING OFF THE ALCOHOL RESIDUE.
(man) HEY, STEWARDESS. THAT GUY HAS A LIGHTER.
WHAT IS IT? ETHYLENE.
IT'S A SOLVENT USED IN REFRIGERATOR COOLANT.
EXCUSE ME.
WERE YOU JUST USING THAT?
NO.
(girl) YES, HE WAS.
I COULD SEE HIM.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
HE WAS JUST PLAYING WITH IT.
IT--IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
OH, YOU'RE RIGHT IT WON'T.
GIVE IT TO ME, PLEASE?
I'M SORRY.
THE COMPANY GAVE IT TO ME.
YOU'LL GET IT WHEN WE LAND. AND THE GLASS.
NO! NO, NO, NO. NOT THE GLASS.
THAT'S MATERIAL EVIDENCE.
WHERE DID YOU DUMP HER?
PARDON ME? YOUR WIFE.
WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE BODY?
HE'S UPSET.
I-I-I SPILLED SOME WINE ON HIM EARLIER.
MR. MONK, I AM ONLY GONNA SAY THIS ONCE.
IT IS A FEDERAL OFFENSE TO DISOBEY A FLIGHT ATTENDANT.
BUT-- IF YOU GET OUT OF YOUR SEAT AGAIN,
I WILL CALL THE AIR MARSHALS
AND HAVE THEM MEET YOU WHEN WE LAND.
SIT DOWN!
WHAT--WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU WON'T BE NEEDING THAT AGAIN.
UGH!
LOOK AT ME. I'M SHAKING!
YOU'LL BE FINE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I THOUGHT YOU'D QUIT.
I DID!
MAYBE IT'S IN ONE OF THESE SUITCASES.
NOT POSSIBLE.
EVERYTHING'S X-RAYED.
HOW LATE YOU THINK WE'RE GONNA GO?
I DON'T KNOW. 'CAUSE HERE'S THE THING.
MY SHIFT ENDS AT NOON.
AFTER THAT, IT'S OVERTIME.
PLUS TODAY'S SUNDAY
SO THAT'S ANOTHER $25 AN HOUR.
HE'S A PILOT.
YEAH? SO IF HE HAD VALID I.D.,
HE COULD GO ANYWHERE HE WANTED TO, RIGHT?
JUST ABOUT.
OKAY.
ARE YOU OKAY? SHH!
I'VE SEEN MONK DO THIS A HUNDRED TIMES.
YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS MOVIE.
I CAN'T? NO.
NO. I-I WON'T LET YOU.
THIS CHARACTER, GLENN, KILLS PEOPLE.
WELL, YEAH. HE'S A HIT MAN.
OKAY, LOOK.
ON PAGE 57, HE CHOPS OFF A GUY'S FOOT.
YOU CAN'T CHOP OFF A GUY'S FOOT.
YOU'RE TIM DALY.
YOU'RE A NICE GUY AND THAT'S WHY WE LOVE YOU.
YEAH, I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD CHANGE OF PACE.
OKAY, LOOK.
ALL I KNOW IS THAT IF I GO TO A MOVIE
AND I SEE YOU CHOPPING OFF A GUY'S FOOT,
I'M GONNA WANT MY MONEY BACK.
YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M GONNA PASS.
I'M GONNA CALL MY AGENT RIGHT NOW AND LEAVE A MESSAGE.
REALLY? BECAUSE OF ME?
YOU'RE MY GUARDIAN ANGEL.
HIS SHOES.
WHOSE SHOES?
CHABROL'S.
BEFORE WE LEFT THE AIRPORT,
HE WAS GETTING HIS SHOES SHINED.
THAT'S WHY HE WAS LATE GETTING ON THE PLANE.
SO?
SO WHY WOULD A MAN WHO JUST KILLED HIS WIFE
BE WORRIED ABOUT HIS SHOES?
BECAUSE HE...
I DON'T KNOW.
[coughs, whispers] I NEED AN EXTENSION CORD.
IT DOESN'T REACH.
CALL WARREN BEACH.
MAY I SUGGEST THE ANACONDA?
I'LL NEED IT BACK.
IT'S THE PROTOTYPE.
WHAT DID HE STEP IN?
CEMENT.
DID YOU SAY CEMENT?
IS THERE A CONSTRUCTION SITE AT THE AIRPORT?
CONSTRUCTION NEAR THE AIRPORT.
YEAH, THEY'RE RENOVATING THE TERMINAL.
IT'S RIGHT THROUGH THERE.
GOOD, LET'S GO.
UM, HERE'S THE THING.
I'M OVERDUE FOR MY BREAK.
SHUT UP AND SHOW ME WHERE IT IS.
[man over P.A.] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
THE CAPTAIN HAS TURNED ON THE SEAT BELT SIGN.
PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT YOUR CARRY-ON LUGGAGE
IS STOWED UNDERNEATH THE SEAT IN FRONT OF YOU
OR IN THE OVERHEAD BINS.
THANK YOU.
(Monk) WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF TIME, RANDY.
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?
MONK, IT'S A CONSTRUCTION SITE
RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER FROM THE LADIES' ROOM.
IT'S PERFECT.
THEY'VE BEEN POURING CONCRETE HERE ALL WEEK.
IF HE HAD SECURITY CLEARANCE, HE COULD HAVE CARRIED HER
BACK HERE IN A SUITCASE OR SOMETHING.
(man) WE POURED THE FOUNDATION THIS MORNING.
IT'S ALREADY HARDENED.
WHAT WOULD IT TAKE TO DIG IT UP?
FOUR GUYS, A COUPLE OF DRILLS,
AND A COURT ORDER.
FINE. DO IT. HOW LONG?
HOUR AND A HALF.
MONK, IT'S GONNA BE AN HOUR AND A HALF TO DIG IT UP.
WE DON'T HAVE AN HOUR AND A HALF.
THEY'RE GONNA BE ON A PLANE TO PARIS AT 5:15.
WELL, THEN, YOU HAVE TO STALL THEM.
WHAT DID HE SAY?
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO STALL THEM.
WELL, THIS IS A FLIGHT I'LL NEVER FORGET,
ALTHOUGH I'LL SURE TRY TO.
ADRIAN, I'VE BEEN THINKING OVER YOUR THEORY
ABOUT THE FRENCH COUPLE
AND I'VE COME TO A CONCLUSION.
I'D LIKE MY CARD BACK.
THANK YOU. BYE!
SWEET!
WHAT IS?
DOUBLE OVERTIME.
SHARONA!
OH, AUNT MINN! OH, LOOK AT YOU!
WE'RE LOSIN' 'EM. (Aunt Minn) HOW WAS YOUR FLIGHT?
SEE THAT GUY OVER THERE?
(Monk) WE NEED TO GO.
(Sharon) HE KILLED HIS WIFE
AND POISONED A GUY ON THE PLANE.
SHARONA. ADRIAN THINKS HE USED REFRIGERATOR COOLANTS.
WE HAVE TICKETS TO THE MUSIC MAN.
THAT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
EXCUSE ME.
[female announcer over P.A.] FINAL BOARDING CALL
FOR FLIGHT 17 TO PARIS, DEPARTING FROM GATE 29.
THIS IS A FINAL BOARDING CALL.
PLEASE CHECK IN AT THE DESK AT GATE 29 IMMEDIATELY.
DISHER. MONK HERE.
MONK, WE'VE FOUND SOMETHING.
IT--IT MIGHT BE THE BODY.
WE'LL KNOW FOR SURE IN 20 MINUTES.
WE'RE TOO LATE.
DISHER NEEDS 20 MINUTES.
THEY'RE ALREADY ON THE PLANE.
[woman over P.A.] BONJOUR, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
WELCOME ABOARD FLIGHT 17 NON-STOP TO PARIS.
OH, PARIS, PARIS, PARIS, PARIS.
LIEUTENANT? LIEUTENANT!
DO YOU THINK YOU CAN FIND A DUTY ROSTER
FOR A FLIGHT LEAVING NEWARK?
DUTY ROSTER, YEAH. I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
DUTY ROSTER.
ALL FLIGHTS OUT OF NEWARK.
GO!
HI! HELLO. [coughs]
[gruff voice] YEAH, I'M, UH, WORRIED ABOUT A BUDDY OF MINE, UH,
CAPTAIN CLAUDE PRITCHARD.
(man over phone) CLAUDE PRITCHARD THE PILOT. YEAH.
HE'S ON THE TARMAC RIGHT NOW.
HE'S BEEN CLEARED TO TAKE OFF.
SO HE MADE IT OKAY. WHAT A RELIEF.
UNBELIEVABLE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
UH, OH, HE WAS IN PRETTY BAD SHAPE WHEN I LEFT HIM.
WE WERE OUT PARTYING ALL LAST NIGHT
AND INTO THIS MORNING.
AND WE'RE JUST PARTY BOYS.
(man over phone) PARTY BOYS?
YEAH. YEAH.
IT--IT--IT WAS PRETTY UGLY THERE FOR--
I TRIED TO TAKE HIS KEYS AWAY,
BUT YOU KNOW HOW
OLD CLAUDE GETS
WHEN HE'S TOTALLY...
[silence]
HAMMERED.
[woman over P.A.] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
WE HAVE BEEN ASKED TO RETURN TO THE GATE.
PLEASE STAY IN YOUR SEATS.
WE WILL BE UNDERWAY IN JUST A FEW MOMENTS.
MONK, WE FOUND HER.
FEMALE, MID-FORTIES, JUST LIKE YOU SAID.
I ALREADY PUT A CALL INTO THE NEWARK P.D.
THEY SHOULD BE PICKIN' UP OUR GUY AS WE SPEAK.
MONSIEUR MONK, IS IT TRUE THIS WAS YOUR FIRST FLIGHT?
THAT'S RIGHT.
ON NE PEUT PAS TOUS PREVENIR.
ONE CANNOT PREPARE FOR EVERYTHING.
YEAH. ALL RIGHT. OOH, 'SCUSE ME.
TIM?
ALL RIGHT, I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.
TIM, HI, UM, I WANTED TO GIVE YOU MY NUMBER.
I'M GONNA BE IN TOWN ALL WEEK.
GEORGE CLOONEY JUST SIGNED ON TO DO THE PART IN THAT MOVIE.
THE ONE I READ?
THEY'RE TALKING TO SCORSESE TO DIRECT.
OH. HE'S GOOD.
YEAH.
HEY, HEY, UM, CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING?
EVEN IF IT'S A BLOCKBUSTER
AND GEORGE CLOONEY WINS AN OSCAR,
I'M NOT GONNA GO SEE IT, ON PRINCIPLE.
THANK YOU.
UH, DON'T FORGET THIS.
BYE.
ISN'T HE FAMOUS?
HE'S SOME KIND OF ACTOR.
SHARONA'S HELPING HIM WITH HIS CAREER.
OH, HOW EXCITING!
GOOD TO SEE YOU!
YEAH, SO, UH, HOW'S YOUR CAT DOIN'?
OH, I LOVE MY KITTY, YOU KNOW?
[plane flies overhead]
IT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE.
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