[children playing]
[people laughing, shouting]
(Monk) THINK I'LL GO BACK TO THE ROOM.
YEAH, YOU DON'T WANNA BURN.
YOU'VE BEEN OUT HERE FOR WHAT, TEN MINUTES?
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BATHING SUIT I BOUGHT YOU?
I'M WEARING IT. UNDERNEATH.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA EVEN TRY?
I AM WHAT I AM.
WELL, YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT.
THIS IS MY FIRST VACATION IN THREE YEARS,
AND I'M GONNA MAKE EVERY MINUTE COUNT.
I TRIED DOING THAT ONCE.
MAKING EVERY MINUTE COUNT.
GAVE ME A HEADACHE.
WHAT DOESN'T?
HEY, MOM,
YOU OWE ME AN ICE CREAM SUNDAE.
OH. WE HAD A BET.
MOM SAID YOU WOULDN'T COME OUTSIDE EVEN ONCE.
HA HO, YE OF LITTLE FAITH.
(man) YEAH!
HEY, MOM, CAN I GO JET-SKIING?
NO, IT'S TOO SCARY.
NO, IT'S NOT. ALL THE OTHER KIDS--
NOT FOR YOU, FOR MR. MONK.
THERE'S NOTHING TO DO.
HERE. HERE.
TAKE A QUARTER. LOOK IN THE TELESCOPE.
THE TELESCOPE?
BIG WHOOP.
DO YOU HAVE ANY LOTION ON?
COME HERE.
HEY, LOOK, I CAN SEE OUR ROOM!
AND, UH, THERE'S MR. MONK'S ROOM.
WHICH ONE?
FIRST ONE, THE ONE HE COULDN'T STAY IN
BECAUSE IT SMELLED FUNNY.
[gasps] MOM?
WHAT?
BENJY, WHAT'S WRONG?
WHAT'S WRONG?
[light music]
*
[excited chatter]
(man) I HAVE A FLIGHT TO CATCH. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?
MOM, SHE WAS STABBED. I REALLY THINK SHE'S DEAD.
I KNOW, I KNOW.
I AM SO SORRY YOU HAD TO SEE THAT,
BUT IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.
MR. MONK IS GONNA CHECK IT OUT
WITH THE SECURITY PEOPLE, LOOK.
MS. BRONWYN, THIS IS NOT A PENITENTIARY.
YOU HAVE TO LET THESE PEOPLE COME AND GO.
I'M GONNA LET 'EM GO, TONY,
SOON AS WE CHECK OUT ROOM 401.
YOU KNOW WHO'S IN ROOM 401.
JOHN FENIMORE,
THE C.O.O. OF THE THIRD LARGEST BROKERAGE HOUSE
ON THE WEST COAST.
HE BRINGS HIS STAFF HERE EVERY YEAR FOR A CONFERENCE.
HOW DO WE KNOW THE BOY DIDN'T JUST MAKE IT UP?
NO, NO. HE'S A GOOD BOY.
HE DOESN'T LIE.
ALL CHILDREN LIE.
NOT HIM. NOT TO ME.
WELL, OF COURSE YOU WOULD SAY THAT.
YOU'RE HIS FATHER.
I'M NOT HIS FATHER. HIS MOTHER WORKS FOR ME.
TONY LANDIS, THIS IS ADRIAN MONK,
ADRIAN IS A FORMER HOMICIDE DETECTIVE.
I JUST TALKED TO HIS CAPTAIN IN FRISCO.
HE SAYS WE'RE LUCKY TO HAVE HIM.
MISS BRONWYN, THESE PEOPLE ARE ON VACATION.
OKAY, TONY, TELL YOU WHAT.
WHY DON'T YOU LET 'EM OUT,
AND THEN YOU CAN TELL THE VICTIM'S FAMILY
AND THE POLICE WHY YOU LET THE MURDERER GO.
FINE.
CHECK IT OUT.
AS DISCREETLY AND QUICKLY AND DISCREETLY AS POSSIBLE.
YOU--YOU SAID DISCREETLY TWICE.
EXACTLY.
IN FACT, I'LL SAY IT AGAIN.
DISCREETLY.
[vacuum running]
(Bronwyn) MITZI.
MITZI!
MITZI. [turns off vacuum]
MUY IMPORTANTE.
DID ANYONE COME OUT OF ROOM 401?
NO, MA'AM.
OKAY. GO IN THERE.
CLOSE THE DOOR, AND BE VERY QUIET.
MR. FENIMORE, COULD YOU OPEN THE DOOR PLEASE?
HOTEL SECURITY.
WHAT?
YOU WANT ME TO GO IN BACKWARDS?
NO, NO, NO.
ON THREE, I GO IN HIGH.
YOU FOLLOW ME.
STAY LOW.
OKAY. OKAY.
DO I HAVE SOMETHING ON MY NOSE?
OH, NO.
THAT'S JUST FROM THE STING.
WHAT STING?
NO, THE MOVIE THE STING.
THEY WERE ALWAYS DOING THIS.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
[whispering] I DON'T KNOW.
OKAY, ONE, TWO, THREE...
HOTEL SECURITY!
IS ANYBODY HERE?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THIS HAS GOTTA BE THE WRONG ROOM.
BENJY POINTED IT OUT.
HE SAID FOURTH FLOOR,
LAST ROOM ON THE RIGHT.
WELL, DO YOU SEE ANYTHING?
LOOKS PRETTY CLEAN.
NO. NOTHING. NOT A THING.
TELL ME ABOUT BENJY.
HE'S A GOOD KID.
HE'S...HE WANTS TO BE A WRITER.
HE DRAWS COMIC BOOKS.
HE SAID IT-- IT HAPPENED RIGHT HERE.
SAID SHE PULLED THE CURTAIN DOWN.
MR. MONK, ALL DUE RESPECT,
I'VE SEEN CRIME SCENES.
THIS AIN'T ONE.
WHAT THE HELL?
UH, MR. FENIMORE, HOW YOU DOING?
I'M RITA BRONWYN, HOTEL SECURITY.
THIS IS ADRIAN MONK. HE'S ASSISTING ME.
ASSISTING YOU WITH WHAT?
THERE'S BEEN A REPORT OF AN INCIDENT IN THIS ROOM.
WHAT SORT OF INCIDENT?
A FIGHT.
HERE? NO. SOMEONE MADE A MISTAKE.
WHEN DID YOU LEAVE THIS ROOM, SIR?
ABOUT AN HOUR AGO.
AND WHERE DID YOU GO?
DOWN BY THE LAKE. I FED SOME DUCKS.
WITH YOUR WIFE. NO, I WAS ALONE.
WHERE IS YOUR WIFE AT THE PRESENT MOMENT?
SHE DROVE INTO TOWN TO DO SOME SHOPPING.
WHEN DID THIS INCIDENT SUPPOSEDLY OCCUR?
ABOUT 15 MINUTES AGO.
WELL, THEN, IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN IRENE.
SHE CALLED ME ON MY CELL JUST NOW.
YOU AND YOUR WIFE
ARE HAVING PROBLEMS, SIR?
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?
YOU'RE NOT SLEEPING IN THE SAME ROOM.
THERE'S A TRAVEL ALARM ON THE END TABLE
AND SOME SLIPPERS UNDER THE COUCH.
YOU'RE A VERY CLEVER MAN.
YES, WE HAD AN ARGUMENT.
WE MADE UP THIS MORNING.
TWICE...IF YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN.
YEAH. [clears throat]
MR. FENIMORE,
CAN YOU HAVE YOUR WIFE CALL THE FRONT DESK
AS SOON AS SHE GETS IN? IF YOU INSIST.
OH, SIR, DO YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE A PICTURE OF YOUR WIFE?
YEAH. SURE.
WELL? IS THIS THE WOMAN YOU SAW?
(Benjy) OH, I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE.
SORRY.
BENJY, WAIT HERE FOR ONE SEC, OKAY?
OKAY.
WHAT DID YOU FIND?
ZILCH. IT WAS THE CLEANEST ROOM I'VE EVER SEEN.
REALLY?
I'D STAY THERE.
WOW.
ADRIAN, I HATE TO SAY THIS.
WHAT?
MAYBE HE DID MAKE IT UP.
WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? TO IMPRESS YOU.
MAYBE HE'S TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION.
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT ME, AREN'T YOU?
I SAW WHAT I SAW.
HE SAW WHAT HE SAW.
OKAY. YOU TWO HAVE FUN PLAYING COPS AND ROBBERS.
I'M STILL ON VACATION,
AND I'M GONNA PLAY TENNIS WITH SOMEBODY.
YOU MADE A FRIEND.
YEAH. YOU SHOULD TRY IT SOMETIME.
AND THERE HE IS.
HEY!
HEY. JUST ABOUT TO CALL YOUR ROOM.
* MY SHARONA
BET YOU GET THAT A LOT.
UH, NO, NO, NO. THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME.
UH...
THIS IS MY BOSS, ADRIAN MONK
AND MY SON BENJY.
HEY, HOW YOU DOING, GUYS? SO...
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
YOU LOOK GREAT.
I WON'T BE ABLE TO KEEP MY EYE ON THE BALL.
EXACTLY MY PLAN.
I'LL TAKE THEM.
OKAY. I'LL SEE YOU TWO LATER.
AND DON'T LET HIM GET INTO ANY TROUBLE.
I WON'T.
I WAS TALKIN' TO BENJY.
OH! GOOD SHOT.
(Benjy) MOM COULDA GOT THAT SHOT.
DO YOU THINK SHE'S LETTING HIM WIN?
I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED.
YOU KNOW, WHY DO GIRLS DO THAT?
SOMEDAY YOU'LL UNDERSTAND.
WHEN YOU DO, CALL ME AND EXPLAIN IT TO ME.
NOW, I WANT YOU TO TELL ME AGAIN EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAW.
OKAY.
[coin drops]
DO YOU SEE ANYTHING?
NO.
LOOKS AS CLEAN FROM THE OUTSIDE AS INSIDE.
MR. FENIMORE. HE'S TALKING TO A WOMAN.
I CAN'T SEE HER FACE.
BUT IT'S DEFINITELY NOT HIS WIFE.
BENJY, CAN YOU READ LIPS?
I'M IN SIXTH GRADE.
I CAN BARELY READ WORDS.
(Disher) YEAH, YOU STILL THERE?
YES, I'M HERE.
FENIMORE. JOHN P.
WELL, HE'S A BIG FISH.
CHIEF OPERATING OFFICER FOR MARIN BAY INVESTMENTS.
MAKES A LOTTA MONEY FOR A LOTTA PEOPLE, MONK.
OH, HERE'S A RED FLAG.
HE WAS INDICTED THREE YEARS AGO.
DOMESTIC THING.
FIGHT WITH HIS WIFE GOT OUTTA HAND.
SHE DROPPED THE CHARGES THE NEXT DAY.
IS THAT IT? YEP, THAT'S IT.
SO, UH, WOULD YOU LIKE TO TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON?
I THINK THIS TIME HE MIGHT HAVE KILLED HIS WIFE.
WHERE ARE YOU STAYING, MONK, THE BATES MOTEL?
NO, BUT...I HAVE A FEELING
THIS PLACE IS RUN BY THE SAME COMPANY.
SHE CAN'T JUST QUIT.
HER BOYFRIEND CALLED FROM BUENOS AIRES.
WE HAVE THE LABOR DAY WEEKEND AROUND THE CORNER
AND WE'RE AT FULL CAPACITY.
SHE CAN'T QUIT NOW.
[overlapping in Spanish]
IS THERE A PROBLEM?
LUPE OLIVENCIA JUST QUIT.
OH.
WE OUGHT TO START GIVING THEM GOLD WATCHES
AFTER THREE WEEKS.
[overlapping in Spanish]
BASTA. TU CALMASTE, ALL RIGHT?
MRS. GARCIA, EVERYBODY DOES DOUBLE SHIFTS,
AND I'LL PAY THE OVERTIME.
TONY, I WANTED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
OH, NOTHING. DOORS ARE OPEN.
PEOPLE CAN COME AND GO AS THEY PLEASE.
WELL, HOW MAGNANIMOUS OF YOU.
BUT WE STILL HAVE TO SEARCH THE BAGS.
WHY?
HE'S GOING TO TRY TO DISPOSE OF THE BODY.
WHAT BODY?
MRS. FENIMORE.
AND YOUR THEORY IS BASED ON WHAT?
BENJY WITNESSED A MURDER.
AND I SAW MR. FENIMORE FLIRTING WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.
[laughs] MOST LIKELY HIS ASSISTANT.
HER NAME IS NICOLE YOUNG.
SHE COMES WITH MR. FENIMORE AND HIS STAFF HERE EVERY YEAR.
LOOK, THE POINT IS, MRS. FENIMORE IS M.I.A.
TONY, REMEMBER LAST CHRISTMAS THAT JEWELRY WAS STOLEN,
YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME?
I BELIEVE YOU WERE REPRIMANDED FOR THAT.
FINE.
RIGHT. YOU HAVE ONE HOUR.
[cell phone rings]
AFTER THAT, THE SIEGE IS OVER,
AND WE'RE BACK TO NORMAL.
OR WHAT PASSES FOR NORMAL AROUND HERE.
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
I'M NEVER HAPPY.
LISTEN, I MIGHT HAVE TO STAY AN EXTRA DAY OR TWO
UNTIL WE GET THIS SORTED OUT.
OH, IMPOSSIBLE. QUITE OUT OF THE QUESTION.
WE'RE OVERBOOKED AS IT IS.
COPY THAT. WE'RE ON OUR WAY.
MONK. THEY'RE HEADING FOR HER ROOM.
WE ONLY HAVE ONE HOUR.
MR. FENIMORE, SIR.
(Bronwyn) HI. REMEMBER US?
YES. UNFORTUNATELY.
WE GOT A COUPLE QUESTIONS TO ASK YOU.
CAN IT WAIT? THE HONG KONG MARKET'S ABOUT TO OPEN.
OH. IS THAT WHAT THEY'RE CALLING IT NOW?
ACTUALLY, MA'AM, THE HONG KONG MARKET'S CLOSED TODAY.
IT'S A NATIONAL HOLIDAY,
WHAT THEY CALL LIBERATION DAY.
(Bronwyn) OPEN THE DOOR, WOULD YOU, MA'AM?
WE CAN TALK INSIDE.
WOULD YOU MIND TELLING ME WHAT THE HELL THIS IS ALL ABOUT?
MR. FENIMORE, I AM 65 TO 70% SURE
THAT YOU MURDERED YOUR WIFE.
[door opens]
SURPRISE!
HA HA! I FORGOT ALL ABOUT IT!
OH, MY GOODNESS!
(woman) HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DARLING.
OH, THANK YOU, SWEETIE.
AH. MR. MONK.
I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET IRENE,
MY WIFE.
DARLING MR. MONK IS A DETECTIVE,
AND HE THINKS I KILLED YOU IN OUR SUITE THIS MORNING.
I THINK I'D REMEMBER.
[laughter]
ANYTHING ELSE?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
(Benjy) MISS BRONWYN
WAS A DETECTIVE TOO,
JUST LIKE MR. MONK.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE HAS? SHE HAS A SHOULDER HOLSTER.
REALLY?
I--OOH!
THAT'S GOOD. IS THAT A NEW ONE?
YEAH, IT'S, UM, IT'S CALLED CAPTAIN INVISIBLE.
I LIKE IT.
OKAY, HONEY.
I'LL BE BACK AROUND 10:00.
YOU'RE GONNA STAY WITH MR. MONK TONIGHT, RIGHT?
YEAH, WE'RE JUST GONNA GO TO THE ARCADE.
THAT SHOULD BE FUN.
MM-HMM.
BENJY, HOW DO I LOOK?
DIFFERENT.
GOOD. THAT'S WHAT I WAS GOING FOR.
MOM? WHAT?
YOU BELIEVE ME, DON'T YOU,
ABOUT THE LADY GETTING KILLED?
YOU KNOW, I, UH, I'VE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT THAT,
AND...MAYBE YOU WERE JUST USING YOUR IMAGINATION
LIKE YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE DRAWING YOUR COMIC BOOKS.
I WASN'T! WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?
HEY, LOOK, BENJY,
THERE'S NO BODY.
IT WAS A MISTAKE,
AND THAT'S A GOOD THING
BECAUSE IT MEANS NOBODY WAS REALLY HURT.
MR. MONK BELIEVES ME.
SO, WHAT, YOU'RE GIVING UP NOW OR WHAT?
NOBODY'S GIVING UP, MS. BRONWYN.
OH, YOU CAN CALL ME BRONWYN.
I JUST--I JUST NEED TO LOOK AFTER THE BOY
FOR AN HOUR OR TWO.
OH, I CAN SEE IT NOW.
I'M GONNA BE ALL ALONE DOING THIS.
MR. MONK, WOULD YOU LIKE A TOOTHPICK?
I LIKE 'EM MINTY. YOU CARE FOR ONE?
NO, THANKS. YOU SURE?
THEY'RE INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED. OKAY.
DID YOU CHECK OUT FENIMORE'S ROOM AGAIN?
FROM TOP TO BOTTOM.
DID YOU FIND ANYTHING?
ZIP. IT'S CLEAN.
IT'S LIKE AN OPERATING ROOM UP THERE.
I EVEN RENTED ONE OF THESE THINGS.
SPECTRALITE. INFRARED.
YEAH, I-I'VE HEARD OF THESE.
YEAH? YOU SEEN THE NEW MODEL?
IT'S AWESOME.
CHECKS 14 DIFFERENT BODILY FLUIDS.
14?
YEAH. BLOOD, SALIVA, SEMEN--
OKAY, THAT--THAT-- THAT'S OKAY.
THANK YOU. HOW DOES IT WORK?
I'LL SHOW YA. HERE, WAIT.
GOTTA TURN THESE LIGHTS OFF.
(Monk) OH... OOH.
HO OH...
WHOA!
OH, MY GOD!
OH! UHH! WHOA!
WHOA...
[groaning] AH! OH!
GAH--WHOA, WHOA, WHOA--
OOH! AH!
OH, COME ON!
TURN IT OFF, PLEASE. GOD, PLEASE.
UGH...
[gags]
I...THINK I'D LIKE TO SWITCH ROOMS.
WE'RE ALL BOOKED UP.
(woman) FRONT DESK.
HOUSEKEEPING?
YOU SEE THEM? FLUIDS.
FLUIDS?
BODILY FLUIDS.
I'M GONNA NEED EVERYTHING SCRUBBED.
S-SCRUBBED. HOW DO YOU SAY SCRUBBED?
SCRUBBED. SCRUBBED.
THE CURTAINS, THE CARPETING.
DID YOU BRING BLEACH? BLEACH?
BLEACH, THE WHITE GOD. DIOS BLANCO.
GOOD. THAT'S GOOD.
OKAY, TAKE YOUR TIME.
DON'T WORRY. I'LL PAY EXTRA.
WHATEVER IT TAKES.
DON'T YOU WORRY, PARTNER.
THEY'RE A TEAM OF EXPERTS.
I'M GOING DOWNSTAIRS TO LOOK FOR THE STIFF.
GOOD LUCK, LADIES.
AND GOD BE WITH YOU.
(Sharona's date) HE'S YOUR BOSS, RIGHT?
(Sharona) MM-HMM.
SO WHY DO YOU TWO VACATION TOGETHER?
I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE.
THE LAST TIME I TRIED TO GO WITHOUT HIM,
I HAD TO COME HOME AFTER TWO DAYS.
WAS HE ILL?
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
IT WAS JUST A GARBAGE STRIKE.
THE BAGS WERE PILING UP ON THE STREET.
HE WAS ALMOST CATATONIC. YOU KNOW.
THAT'S LIKE A MARRIAGE.
MORE LIKE A BAD MARRIAGE.
MMM.
SO, UM...
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN MARRIED, OR--
ME? OH, NO.
I MEAN, I'M ALLERGIC TO RICE.
OH...
[chuckling]
THAT'S BLOOD.
[weapons firing]
COME ON. TCH!
IT'S TOO WRINKLED.
OKAY, HERE.
TRY ONE OF MINE.
WHOA. HOW DO YOU KEEP IT LOOKING LIKE NEW?
HAND WASH, NO BLEACH.
TUMBLE DRY, MEDIUM HEAT. COOL IRON.
OKAY.
[coins jingle]
WHOA, WHOA.
OH...
YOU GOT IT?
UH...
SOMEONE'S GLASSES.
PRESCRIPTION.
YOU'D THINK SOMEBODY'D COME LOOKING FOR THEM.
WHAT?
SHE WAS WEARING GLASSES!
WHO? THE WOMAN YOU SAW? THE VICTIM?
YEAH. LIKE THESE?
I THINK SO.
OKAY, LOOK. I'M GONNA GO FIND BRONWYNN.
PUT 'EM RIGHT HERE. OKAY.
CAN I LEAVE YOU HERE FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES?
OKAY. YOU'LL STAY RIGHT HERE?
YEAH. OKAY.
(announcer) LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE HELP ME WELCOME BACK
TO COMEDY NIGHT HERE AT HANOVER LAKE RESORT,
THE MAN ON THE TOP OF THE CIA'S MOST UNWANTED LIST,
CHUCK BYRN!
THANKS VERY MUCH, FOLKS.
HAVE YOU SEEN RITA BRONWYN?
MM. NO.
COULD YOU PAGE HER FOR ME, PLEASE?
(Chuck) IT WAS VERY HOT. UNBELIEVABLY HOT.
IT DIDN'T SAY IN THE BROCHURE
THIS PLACE WAS LOCATED FIVE BLOCKS FROM THE SUN, DID IT?
[laughter] I WENT DOWN--
I SAW THE STRANGEST THING ON THE BEACH TODAY.
I WAS DOWN THERE WALKING AROUND ON THE BEACH, AND--
OH, MY GOD! THAT'S THE GUY!
I SAW THAT GUY ON THE BEACH TODAY,
AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE WAS WEARING?
THE EXACT SAME THING HE'S WEARING RIGHT NOW!
I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. HOW ARE YA?
WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SIR?
ADRIAN! DON'T TELL HIM.
(Chuck) ADRIAN? THAT'S HIS NAME?
THAT'S A NICE WHISPER. I DIDN'T PICK UP ON IT AT ALL.
[laughter] VERY QUIET. VERY EFFECTIVE.
ADRIAN'S YOUR NAME. GOOD TO SEE YOU, ADRIAN.
THANKS FOR COMING DOWN TO THE SHOW.
LET'S GIVE ADRIAN A BIG HAND FOR COMIN' DOWN HERE, HUH?
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
YOU KINDA LOOKED LIKE A LITTLE BIT LIKE A VAMPIRE
OUT THERE ON THE BEACH TODAY.
[scattered titters]
UM...I'M NOT A VAMPIRE.
GOOD THING.
WE'RE ALL GONNA SLEEP BETTER TONIGHT KNOWING THAT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE WITH THE PEANUTS HERE, ADRIAN?
THIS BOWL HAD MORE,
SO I WAS HELPING TO EVEN THEM OUT.
EVENING OUT THE PEANUTS. IT'S AN IMPORTANT JOB.
THINK I MIGHT HAVE HIT THE JACKPOT HERE, FOLKS.
GET COMFY, ADRIAN.
WE'RE GONNA BE TALKING TO YOU FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
[weapons firing]
HEY, BETCHA IT'S NOT REALLY BROKEN.
THEY JUST WANNA MAKE YOU THINK THAT
TO PLAY THE 50 CENT GAMES.
I'VE GOTTA GO.
NOW, THIS IS FASCINATING.
YOU KEEP YOUR SOCKS IN BAGGIES.
I REALLY DON'T THINK IT'S THAT UNUSUAL.
YOU DON'T THINK IT'S THAT UNUSUAL?
REALLY? MAYBE WE COULD ASK AROUND.
DOES ANYONE ELSE HERE KEEP THEIR SOCKS IN BAGGIES?
[laughter] NO!
SORRY, ADRIAN.
I THINK YOU'RE A FREAK. [laughter]
WHOA! NOT SO FAST, ADRIAN. NOT SO FAST.
YOU DON'T LEAVE A SLOT MACHINE WHEN IT'S PAYING OFF, MY FRIEND.
ALL RIGHT? SO YOU BROUGHT YOUR OWN SOAP TO THE HOTEL.
I'M SORRY.
THAT'S RIGHT.
I GUESS BECAUSE THE HOTEL SOAP,
THAT JUST WOULDN'T BE CLEAN.
TOWELS? DID YOU BRING YOUR OWN TOWELS?
YES.
SHEETS? PILLOW CASES?
OF COURSE.
OF COURSE. YEAH.
YOU REALIZE MOST PEOPLE WHO SHOW UP AT HOTELS,
THEY SHOW UP SO THEY CAN STEAL THAT CRAP?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
JUST A LITTLE FUZZ, A LITTLE LINT ON IT.
YEAH, BUT THAT'S MY LINT. YOU CAN'T TAKE MY LINT.
THAT'S MY LINT. THAT'S MY AREA.
THAT'S WHERE I KEEP MY LINT.
IT'S MY SAFE LINT SPOT.
YOU REALLY WANNA PULL IT OFF OF THERE, DON'T YA?
IT'S BREAKING YOU UP INSIDE, ISN'T IT?
[laughter]
AH!
[whispering] ADRIAN, FORGET THE FUZZ. FORGET IT.
OH! OH!
[sighs]
THERE YOU GO, FOLKS. HE'S GOT HIS LINT, HUH?
HOW 'BOUT A BIG HAND FOR HIM?
HOW PROUD YOU MUST BE. YOU GOT LINT!
[laughter, applause]
MOM?
BENJY. BENJY, WHAT'S WRONG?
WHAT IS IT?
(Monk) YOU'RE SURE YOU'RE OKAY? YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED.
I THINK THAT WAS THE IDEA.
AND YOU DIDN'T GET A GOOD LOOK AT THEM.
NO, I'M SORRY.
AND WHEN I WENT BACK, THE BLOOD WAS GONE.
SOMEONE HAD CLEANED IT UP.
OKAY, IT'S RIGHT OVER HERE.
NINJA FURY IV WAS OUT OF ORDER,
BUT THIS KID SAID IT REALLY WASN'T.
SO WHEN I WENT BACK TO PLUG IT IN,
THE BACK FELL OFF, AND THERE SHE WAS.
SHE WAS RIGHT THERE, MOM. I SAW HER.
THEY WOULD HAVE HAD TIME TO MOVE THE BODY.
(Benjy) IT WAS IN THERE. SHE WAS LIKE ALL WRAPPED UP.
IT WAS THE SAME WOMAN YOU SAW IN THE WINDOW.
I THINK SO. OF COURSE IT WAS.
WHY GO TO THE TROUBLE OF INVENTING
AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT VICTIM?
TONY... I BELIEVE HIM.
AND IT ISN'T JUST BENJY.
SOMEBODY TRIED TO KILL MISS BRONWYN.
REALLY?
BUT WHOEVER IT WAS WOULDN'T HAVE RISKED
CARRYING IT DOWN THE HALLWAY.
WHO HAS THE KEY TO THIS DOOR?
THE ENTIRE STAFF.
ABOUT 180 PEOPLE.
ARE YOU THINKING INSIDE JOB?
MAYBE IT'S THAT COMEDIAN.
WOULDN'T THAT BE GREAT?
DO YOU HAVE A PIECE OF PAPER? NO.
ISN'T THAT A NOTE PAD IN YOUR POCKET?
[sighs]
IT'S LIME?
IT'S CALCIUM OXIDE.
QUICKLIME.
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
IT'S USED TO COVER UP SMELLS.
SMUGGLERS USE IT TO FOOL DRUG-SNIFFING DOGS.
OH, I'VE SEEN THE MOB USE IT WHEN THEY TRY TO HIDE A BODY.
YOU'VE SEEN THE MOB USE IT?
I MEAN, IN THAT MOVIE GOODFELLAS I SAW IT.
ACTUALLY, THIS IS GOOD NEWS.
HOW SO?
BECAUSE IT MEANS THE BODY'S
STILL IN THE HOTEL, RIGHT?
SO THAT MEANS WE HAVE TO KEEP CHECKING
EVERY BAG GOING OUT.
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
YOUR TIME IS UP. WE HAD A DEAL.
OH, COME ON, THE DEAL IS OFF, TONY!
WORK WITH US HERE.
IF THEY GET RID OF THE BODY,
WE HAVE NO CASE.
I'LL GIVE YOU UNTIL NOON TOMORROW.
YOU'LL BE CHECKING OUT THEN ANYWAY.
TICK, TICK, TICK.
GOD, I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE GO "TICK, TICK, TICK."
THE BODY IS STILL HERE IN THE HOTEL.
I KNOW IT IS SOMEWHERE INSIDE THIS HOTEL.
BUT WHERE?
[sighs] ADRIAN, YOU'RE RUINING THE LAST HOURS
OF MY VACATION.
HELLO? I'M SOLVING A MURDER.
WELL, DO IT THREE FEET TO THE LEFT.
WELL, WELL. HERE YOU ARE.
HERE I AM.
SO HOW 'BOUT A REMATCH?
ARE YOU A GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT?
OH, I'M A GLUTTON FOR A LOT OF THINGS.
[chuckles] I BET YOU ARE.
OKAY, I'LL BOOK THE COURT.
AND THEN I'M GONNA BEAT THE PANTS OFF OF YOU.
YOU WISH.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
SEE YA.
YOU LIKE HIM?
UH-HUH.
WHY, IS THERE A REASON WHY I SHOULDN'T?
ADRIAN, IF YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT HIM,
YOU HAVE TO TELL ME-- THAT'S THE RULE.
I THOUGHT THE RULE WAS I SHOULD KEEP IT TO MYSELF.
WELL, IT'S A NEW RULE.
WELL, HE, UH-- HE MIGHT BE MARRIED.
MIGHT BE OR IS?
HIS WIFE'S NAME IS JULIE,
OR JULIA-- IT WAS HARD TO READ
BECAUSE THE CHECK WAS UPSIDE DOWN.
WHAT CHECK?
WHEN HE WAS BUYING HIS SUNGLASSES,
THERE WERE TWO NAMES ON THE CHECK.
IT'S A JOINT ACCOUNT.
YOU KNOW, YOU COULD BE WRONG. YOU'RE NOT PERFECT.
THAT'S TRUE.
YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT MR. FENIMORE KILLING HIS WIFE.
MAYBE YOU'RE LOSING YOUR SUPERPOWERS, HMM?
MAYBE I AM.
WHAT?
THE GROUNDSKEEPER,
HE'S USING THE LIME.
WELL, I THINK YOU SHOULD TAKE EIGHT OR NINE HOURS
AND CHECK IT OUT.
[door rattles]
DAH!
[spitting]
[Monk spitting]
DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT MOVING.
WHO YOU CALLING?
WHO DO YOU THINK? SECURITY.
SECURITY EXTENSION, 404.
GIVE MY REGARDS TO BRONWYN.
HOW DO YOU KNOW BRONWYN?
I'M WORKING WITH HER ON A CASE.
OH, YEAH, I-- I'VE SEEN YOU WITH HER.
I'M RAWLEY.
YOU WANT TO TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON?
ONE SECOND.
PBBBT!
PFFFT!
[spits]
WHY DIDN'T YOU REPORT IT, RAWLEY?
REPORT WHAT?
THE MISSING BAGS OF LIME.
HOW'D YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?
I THOUGHT I COULD HANDLE 'EM MYSELF.
HOW MANY DID THEY TAKE?
THREE.
WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?
SOMETIME LAST NIGHT. THAT'S ALL I KNOW.
(Monk) WAS THAT DOOR LOCKED?
ALL THE TIME. DEAD BOLT.
I'M THE ONLY ONE WITH A KEY.
WHAT DO THEY WEIGH, ABOUT 40 POUNDS EACH?
50. HEAVY BAGS.
LOCKED DOOR.
THEY PROBABLY USED THE WINDOW.
THERE HAD TO BE--
THERE HAD TO BE MORE THAN ONE PERSON.
I THINK WE'RE LOOKING FOR A GANG.
DID THEY MOVE THOSE PALLET BOARDS?
THEY DON'T BELONG THERE.
THEY WERE SHORT.
A SHORT GANG OF LIME THIEVES?
IT'S A NUTTY WORLD.
WHOA, SWEETHEART,
WHERE'S YOU LEARN THAT ONE?
UNH!
UNH! UNH!
WHOA!
UNH! OH--
SWEETHEART, TAKE IT EASY, WILL YOU?
OH, I'M SORRY. DID THAT HURT?
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE JULIE PUT SOME ICE ON IT?
OR IS IT JULIA?
IT STINKS IN HERE.
OH, THAT'S THE DISINFECTANT.
THEY CLEANED THE WHOLE ROOM.
OH.
THAT'S NOT THE LAUNDRY. THAT'S THE GARBAGE.
I KNOW.
OKAY, SO WHY ARE YOU THROWING IT AWAY?
THEY WERE IRREDEEMABLE.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
UH, YEAH. THEY GOT DIRTY.
EXACTLY.
LISTEN, I WANTED TO SAY THANKS.
FOR WHAT?
FOR BELIEVING ME WHEN NOBODY ELSE DID.
THOUGH YOU PROBABLY JUST FELT SORRY FOR ME
BECAUSE MY DAD'S NOT AROUND.
HEY, I DON'T HAVE TO BE YOUR FATHER TO BELIEVE YOU.
OR TO BE PROUD OF YOU.
IF YOU SAY YOU SAW A BODY,
THEN SOMETHING HAPPENED HERE...
AND I'M GONNA FIND OUT WHAT IT IS.
I'VE NEVER SEEN A ROOM THIS CLEAN.
SHE MUST'VE WORKED ALL NIGHT.
WELL, IT WASN'T JUST ONE.
IT WAS A WHOLE GROUP OF THEM.
FOUR MAIDS.
A SHORT GANG.
MAIDS.
OKAY, JUST FOR THE RECORD, WHAT WE JUST DID--
BREAKING AND ENTERING.
IT'S WRONG, OKAY?
DON'T--DON'T DO IT.
OKAY.
WHERE ARE WE?
MAIDS' LOCKER ROOM.
YOU THINK THERE ARE DEAD BODIES IN HERE?
MAYBE. IT'S BEEN EVERYWHERE ELSE.
LOOK AT THIS.
"OLIVENCIA." THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT HER.
SHE QUIT YESTERDAY.
(Monk) OH--
WHAT'S WRONG?
SHE NEVER CHANGED BACK INTO
HER STREET CLOTHES.
BENJY,
THE WOMAN YOU SAW-- THE WOMAN WHO WAS ATTACKED--
COULD SHE HAVE BEEN A CHAMBER MAID?
MAYBE.
WELL, WAS SHE WEARING A DRESS SOMETHING LIKE THIS?
I THINK SO.
GOOD.
AT LEAST WE KNOW WHO WE'RE LOOKING FOR.
WHAT?
THAT ONE TILE...
MMM, IT'S UPSIDE DOWN.
[blows]
OH, COOL.
WHAT ARE THEY?
THEY'RE DIGITAL CAMERAS.
I'VE NEVER SEEN THEM THIS SMALL.
WHAT'S THAT, A SCREEN?
YEAH.
SEE, YOU CAN SEE THE PICTURES THEY TOOK.
[electronic blips]
(Benjy) WHAT IS IT?
FINANCIAL DOCUMENTS.
OKAY, THAT'S BORING.
NO, NO. NOT TO SOME PEOPLE.
[voices approaching]
[electronic blips]
MR. MONK.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
UH, WE'RE LOST.
WE WERE LOOKING FOR THE PING-PONG TABLE--
AND FOR THE PING-PONG ROOM.
IT'S FUNNY, I'VE BEEN HERE A WEEK
AND I STILL CAN'T FIND MY WAY AROUND.
BUT WE'RE GONNA FIND IT. IT'S PROBABLY DOWNST--
I TOLD YOU DOWNSTAIRS.
YOU GOTTA ARGUE ABOUT EVERY LITTLE THING.
WE'RE GONNA FIND IT. IT'S GONNA BE--
YEAH. WE GOT IT.
HASTA LUEGO.
(Monk) THE MAIDS' LOCKER ROOM RIGHT DOWN HERE.
GOD, YOU'RE GOOD.
TOOK ME SIX MONTHS TO FIND THIS PLACE.
HEY, LANDIS SAYS YOU'VE GOTTA CHECK OUT BY 4:00 P.M.
NO EXTENSION.
4:00 P.M., THAT ONLY GIVES ME THREE HOURS.
THAT'S ALL CLINT HAD IN DIRTY HARRY.
YEAH, RITA,
YOU HAVE HAD NONFICTIONAL POLICE EXPERIENCES, RIGHT?
YEAH, SURE.
HELLO, LADIES.
THERE'S THE LOCKER.
WHAT'D YOU DO WITH HER CLOTHES?
[speaking Spanish]
OH.
IT WAS HERE.
THEY MUST HAVE GLUED THE TILE BACK ON.
[speaking Spanish]
(Rita) WHAT, NOW SUDDENLY YOU DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH?
WELL, MAYBE YOU UNDERSTAND THIS.
THE PARTY'S OVER.
LA FIESTA ESTA... OVER.
(Rita) WE'RE ONTO YOU.
WE KNOW YOU KILLED LUPE OLIVENCIA.
YOU THINK BECAUSE YOU'RE RICH AND WHITE--
YOU THINK YOU CAN ACCUSE ANYBODY OF ANYTHING?
MRS. GARCIA, I'M NOT ACCUSING ANYBODY OF ANYTHING.
I'M ACCUSING YOU OF MURDER.
[kids chattering]
I SHOULD'VE KNOWN.
FENIMORE'S ROOM WAS TOO CLEAN.
WHO ELSE COULD HAVE PULLED THAT OFF
IN JUST 15 MINUTES?
THEY'RE THE HOUSEKEEPERS FROM HELL.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. THEY'RE STEALING CAMERAS?
NO, THEY'RE STEALING INFORMATION.
CONFIDENTIAL FINANCIAL INFORMATION.
WHO'S MERGING WITH WHOM,
WHO'S ABOUT TO GO UNDER.
IT'S THE PERFECT SETUP.
WE HAVE CONFERENCES HERE ALL THE TIME.
BROKERAGE FIRMS, INVESTMENT COMPANIES.
WHO'S IN A BETTER POSITION TO STEAL INFORMATION?
NOBODY GIVES THE HOUSEKEEPING STAFF A SECOND THOUGHT.
(Rita) THEY'RE INVISIBLE.
SO PEOPLE HIDE THEIR WALLETS,
THEY HIDE THEIR JEWELRY.
NO ONE THINKS TO HIDE
THEIR BRIEFCASES OR THEIR LAPTOPS.
(Monk) THE MAIDS WERE CLEANING UP.
(Rita) LITERALLY.
HEY, MAYBE WE CAN GET THE IRS TO NAIL 'EM
FOR INSIDER TRADING.
NO, I'M GUESSING THEY WERE TOO SMART FOR THAT.
PROBABLY GOT THEIR FRIENDS AND THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS
TO BUY THE STOCKS FOR THEM.
I DON'T GET IT. WHO DID THEY KILL?
THE MISSING MAID. MAID NUMBER FIVE.
LUPE OLIVENCIA.
(Rita) SHE PROBABLY GOT GREEDY.
(Monk) OR MORE LIKELY SHE GREW A CONSCIENCE
AND THEN WANTED OUT.
WHATEVER THE REASON, THEY HAD TO GET RID OF HER.
(Rita) SO THEN THEY WENT TO WORK.
(Monk) IT WAS THE CLEANEST CRIME SCENE IN THE HISTORY OF CRIME.
AND WE CAN'T PROVE A THING!
NOT WITHOUT A BODY.
(Monk) NO BODY, NO CASE.
BUT IT JUST HAS TO BE HERE SOMEWHERE.
BENJY, WHAT IS IT? I FOUND HER AGAIN.
[dramatic music]
*
OKAY, EVERYBODY, CLEAR AWAY. DON'T TOUCH A THING.
OKAY PARTNER, WE GOT 'EM.
I'M GONNA CALL HOMICIDE AND THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY'S OFFICE.
AND THE CORONER'S OFFICE.
WE'RE GONNA NEED A FULL FORENSICS TEAM.
[laughter] HOW LONG WAS THAT?
WAS THAT THE RECORD?
ALL RIGHT.
(Monk) SO IT'S GOTTA BE IN THE HOTEL.
[sighs]
BRONWYN, IF WE DON'T FIND THE CORPSE
IN THE NEXT 20 MINUTES, THEY GET AWAY WITH MURDER.
[speaking Spanish]
(Rita) WAIT!
THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT, MR. MONK.
WE'RE COMPLETELY BOOKED. I AM SO SORRY.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
TONY, THEY ARE STEALING INSIDER INFORMATION
RIGHT FROM UNDER OUR NOSES.
WE ARE CONVINCED THAT THEY MURDERED LUPE OLIVENCIA.
WHERE'S YOUR PROOF? WHERE'S THE BODY?
OKAY, WE CAN'T FIND THE BODY--
BECAUSE IT DOESN'T EXIST.
NOW, IT'S CHECKOUT TIME, MR. MONK.
YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY TRESPASSING IN MY HOTEL.
THE CASE--
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO HOME
AND TELL YOUR THERAPIST ALL ABOUT IT?
TONY, LISTEN, I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU...
WHERE'S YOUR MOM?
SHE'S JUST PICKING UP SOME PICTURES.
THIS PLACE IS THE PITS.
MISSING BODIES, MARRIED MEN.
AND HALF OF THESE DIDN'T EVEN COME OUT.
OOH, I LIKE THIS ONE.
YOU COULD TELL IT WAS THE FIRST DAY--WE WERE SMILING.
[sighs] LET'S GO.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
DRIVE CAREFULLY, MR. MONK.
THIS ISN'T OVER.
I'M GONNA MAIL THIS IN.
I HAVE A COUPLE OF COMMENTS.
I GUESS YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.
I'M GONNA GET 'EM.
I'LL BET YOU WILL.
HAVE ONE FOR THE ROAD.
BENJY, BUCKLE UP.
OKAY.
ADRIAN, JUST LET IT GO.
YOU CAN'T WIN 'EM ALL. COME ON.
[tires screech]
HOW CAN YOU SAY WHEN YOU--
(Monk) I DON'T THINK I CAN WAIT A WHOLE YEAR.
FOR WHAT? OUR NEXT VACATION.
YOU ENJOYED THAT?
OH, I HAD A GREAT TIME.
OKAY, FOR YOUR INFORMATION,
THAT WAS NOT A VACATION, ADRIAN.
A VACATION'S SUPPOSED TO BE FUN AND RELAXING.
THAT WAS MURDER CAMP.
I WAS THINKING THE FIRST WEEK IN NOVEMBER,
THERE'S THIS PLACE IN MONTEREY.
NO, NO, FORGET IT.
NO MORE VACATIONS.
THE NEXT TIME YOU TRY TO MAKE ME TAKE A VACATION,
I SWEAR I'M QUITTING.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST SAID THAT.
YOU SEEM UPSET.
I AM UPSET!
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED?
SHUT UP. VACATION!
SHUT UP!
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