Captions by VITAC...
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CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY
CARTOON NETWORK
SO, YOU MUST NOT HAVE GOTTEN
THE LAST 37 VIDEOS I SENT YOU
GUYS.
HEY, THAT'S COOLIO.
STUFF LIKE THAT HAPPENS.
SO I'M MAKING YOU ANOTHER ONE.
AND BY THE END OF THIS TAPE, I'M
SURE YOU'LL REALIZE THAT I'M
TOTALLY KIDS NEXT DOOR MATERIAL!
WHEN EVIL ADULTS LIKE THE
HOMEWORKINATOR TRY MAKING KIDS
TAKE TESTS 27 HOURS A DAY, I'LL
GIVE 'EM THIS!
AND THIS!
[ GRUNTING ]
I TOLD YOU TO KEEP IT DOWN UP
THERE, KIDS!
OH, YEAH?!
TRY MAKING ME, EVIL ADULT!
WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
NOTHING, MOM.
I'LL DEAL WITH HER AND HER
FIENDISH ADULT WAYS LATER.
[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ]
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
OH, BOY! OH, BOY! OH, BOY!
COME ON! COME ON!
OH, MAN.
THIS STINKS.
I GOT TO GO BEAT SOMETHING UP.
TAKE THAT! HAH!
YOU CAN'T BEAT...
[ SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ]
WHAT YOU GOT?
SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT.
YES!
LIFT-OFF.
ULTRA-WORLDWIDE HIGH SCORE!
HUH?
HEY!
WHAT GIVES?!
"ARE YOU IN?"
AM I IN WHAT?
"WHAT ARE YOUR PARENTS DOING?"
UH, I DON'T KNOW.
"CHECK"?
UH, OKAY, BUT DON'T GO ANYWHERE.
[ GASPS ]
[ SHRIEKING ]
I-I-I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
MY PARENTS ARE...
DOING THE DISHES?
WHAT'S WEIRD ABOUT THAT?
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
"IF YOU WANT TO LEARN WHAT YOUR
PARENTS ARE REALLY UP TO, THEN
COME HERE."
[ GASPS ]
THE KIDS NEXT DOOR!
YES!
YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!
I'M GONNA FIGHT ADULT EVIL!
I'M GONNA FIGHT ADULT... UHH!
HELLO?! ANYONE HERE?!
HELLO!
MAN, SOMEONE'S MESSING WITH ME.
THIS PLACE IS TOTALLY ABANDONED.
IT WAS ABANDONED.
NOW WE USE IT TO INTERROGATE NEW
RECRUITS.
COOL!
- THEN I'M YOUR... - UNH-UNH.
- [ MOTOR WHIRRING ] - [ BEEP ]
FRISK HIM.
THOUGHT YOU COULD SNEAK IN A
SPYRATRON VOICE RECORDER, HUH?
UH, NUMBUH 4, THAT WAS JUST A
VIDEO GAME.
I KNOW.
- I JUST LIKE SMASHING ROOKIES' - STUFF.
UM, AM I IN THE KIDS NEXT
DOOR NOW?
BILLY, BILLY, BILLY.
IT'S BOBBY.
WHATEVER.
YOU HAVEN'T EVEN MET HIM YET.
GOOD EVENING, BOBBY.
PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT.
UH, OKAY.
FEEL FREE TO CHOOSE A
LOLLIPOP, BOBBY, BUT THIS ISN'T
JUST ANY CHOICE.
IF YOU TAKE THE CHERRY ONE,
YOU'LL ENJOY A NICE, SWEET
LOLLY.
- UPON SUCKING YOUR WAY TO THE GUM - CORE, YOU'LL FORGET EVERYTHING
THAT'S HAPPENED HERE AND YOU CAN
RETURN TO YOUR LIFE AS A NORMAL
KID.
BUT IF YOU TAKE THE BOYSENBERRY,
THERE'S NO TURNING BACK.
THE SOUR, TANGY TASTE WILL OPEN
YOUR MIND.
YOU'LL SEE WHAT THE KIDS NEXT
DOOR SEE.
YOU'LL KNOW WHAT WE KNOW.
IT'S YOUR CHOICE, BOBBY.
RED OR BLUE?
EXCELLENT CHOICE.
- [ GASPS ] - UHH!
HANG ON TO YOUR HEINIE 'CAUSE
YOU'RE GOING FOR A RIDE.
COOLIO!
HOLY MACKEREL.
THOSE ARE MY PARENTS, AND THAT'S
MY SPECIAL PLATE.
BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY THAT'S
NO ORDINARY PLATE, BOBBY.
IT'S A COMPLICATED COMPUTER
DISK.
FROM YOUR KITCHEN'S DISHWASHER,
IT WILL BE CARRIED TO A GIANT
CENTRAL MAINFRAME, WHERE ITS
DATA WILL BE EXTRACTED AND PUT
TO USE.
DATA?
DNA, BOBBY.
THE DISK STORES YOUR GENETIC
MATERIAL, WHICH IT ABSORBS FROM
YOUR UNFINISHED FOOD.
AS IT TURNS OUT, YOU SHOULD HAVE
CLEANED YOUR PLATE.
BUT WHAT DOES IT WANT WITH MY
DNA?
THE ADULTS WANT TO MAKE AN
EXACT REPLICA OF YOU, BOBBY, BUT
- MUTATED TO BE PERFECT IN THEIR - EYES.
PLEASE, MAY I QUIETLY DO SOME
CHORES NOW?
THANK YOU, MOTHER AND FATHER.
BUT WHAT HAPPENS TO THE REAL
ME?
YOU?
THE REPLICA CAN'T SURVIVE
WITHOUT YOUR DNA, SO YOUR
SALIVA IS MILKED TO FEED IT.
THIS IS WHAT THE ADULTS HAVE IN
STORE FOR US.
THIS IS HOW WE WILL LIVE, BOBBY.
NO!
WE'VE GOT TO STOP THIS FROM
HAPPENING.
WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP?
WE NEED ONE OF THOSE DISKS
FROM THIS LOCATION.
BUT WHY CAN'T I JUST GO BACK
TO MY HOUSE AND GET ONE?
WE DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR
SUGGESTIONS!
JUST DO AS WE SAY!
SO, ARE YOU IN, OR ARE YOU
OUT?
HMM.
NOW, WHERE'S THAT DISK?
YES!
AND BINGO WAS HIS NAME-O.
UHH!
WHAT IS THAT BOY DOING WITH
OUR FINE CHINA, MR. WINK?
MOST ANNOYING, MR. FIBB.
FINE CHINA?!
I KNOW WHAT THIS REALLY IS, AND
WE KIDS NEXT DOOR ARE GOING TO
STOP YOU!
KIDS NEXT DOOR?!
WAIT! NO! OW! UHH!
OW! OW! MY HAIR!
OW! UHH!
GOT IT.
AM I IN THE KIDS NEXT DOOR NOW?
SHOOT, IF IT WAS THAT EASY,
EVERY JOE AND JANE IN THE
SANDBOX WOULD BE OPERATIVES.
NOW, WE NEED SOME NONKID SALIVA
ON THAT DISK.
ONE STRAND OF ADULT DNA UPLOADED
INTO THE DISHWASHER MAINFRAME,
AND A WHOLE CROP OF REPLICA KIDS
WILL BE RUINED.
AND WE'VE IDENTIFIED THE
PERFECT ADULT TARGET.
AND YOU GET TO WEAR THIS!
[ CATS MEOWING ]
[ Mumbling ] WHERE'S THE
SCRATCHING POST?
[ SNORES ]
[ MUMBLING ]
UHH!
[ GASPS ]
[ GRUNTS ]
UHHH!
WHEW.
THAT WAS...
[ CATS SNARLING ]
[ SHRIEKS ]
ME-OW.
IMPOSTER!
UHH!
[ GRUNTS ]
UHH!
[ SNARLING CONTINUES ]
UHH! OHH!
UH-OH.
OH, NO!
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
KITTY...
COME BACK!
[ SHRIEKS ]
IT'S THAT PESKY BOY AGAIN,
MR. WINK.
AND AGAIN WITH OUR FINE
CHINA, MR. FIBB.
OW! CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS?!
OW! PLEASE, STOP!
[ GROANING ]
HUH?
WAH!
DID YOU GET THE SALIVA,
BOBBY?
IT'S RIGHT... HERE.
AM I IN NOW?
A JOB WELL-DONE, BOBBY.
YOU MIGHT BE THE ONE...
TO RUN ALL DISH-AND-SAUCER-BASED
MISSIONS FOR THE KIDS NEXT DOOR.
BUT BEFORE THAT, YOU HAVE TO
PUT THAT SALIVA-COVERED DISH
INTO THE ADULTS' DISHWASHER
MAINFRAME.
WHEN THE INFORMATION ON THAT
DISK IS DOWNLOADED, THE WHOLE
SYSTEM WILL CRASH.
COOLIO!
WHOA.
UHH!
[ SHRIEKS ]
[ DING ]
[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]
[ GRUNTS ]
NUMBUH 2 SAID THE DISH SHOULD GO
IN SLOT 87,000,570 "B."
87,000,570 "B."
87,000,568.
69.
BINGO!
[ ALARM BLARING ]
OH, NO! THE DOOR!
[ PANTING ]
RUN!
[ GRUNTS ]
UHH-HAH-HAH!
UHH!
[ COUGHS ]
[ BURPS ]
AND NOW FOR YOUR NEXT
MISSION.
OH, NO!
YOU PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!
THIS ISN'T WORTH IT.
ALL THAT JUST TO INFILTRATE THE
KIDS NEXT DOOR AND DESTROY IT
FROM THE INSIDE?!
[ GRUNTS ]
THE INTERESTING TWINS FROM
BENEATH THE MOUNTAIN!
FATHER'S GREATEST SPIES...
DID NOT COME ALL THE WAY TO
THIS COUNTRY TO BE HUMILIATED BY
YOU, KIDS NEXT DOOR!
WE HEREBY REFUSE TO SPY ON
YOU...
ANY LONGER!
Together: BUT WE'LL BE BACK.
[ LAUGHING ]
VICTORY IS OURS!
UHH!
[ BOTH GROAN ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
WOW!
THE INTERESTING TWINS!
WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED THAT?!
WE KNEW ALL ALONG, NUMBUH 3.
WE DID?
YEAH.
BUT CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY FELL
FOR ALL THAT DISHWASHER MUMBO
JUMBO?
ACTUALLY, IT'S NOT MUMBO
JUMBO, NUMBUH 4.
HEY, COME ON, GUYS!
STOP MESSING WITH ME!
GUYS!
WHAT'S THE STATUS ON THIS
ONE, NUMBUH 411?
SECTOR "W" JUST BROUGHT HIM
IN, AND IT'S NOT PRETTY.
GUM ATTACK?
WORSE.
[ SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY ]
GET HIM TO OPERATING ROOM 74
STAT!
ALL RIGHT, PEOPLES.
LET US SEE WHAT WE ARE TO BE
WORKING WITH HERE.
[ ALL SCREAM ]
[ SHUDDERS ]
TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE, PEOPLES.
SKYSORS.
MOLECULAR RETRACTORS.
[ DRILL WHIRRING ]
UH, HE'S NOT LOOKING GOOD.
- I HAVE GOOD KNOWLEDGE OF - THIS.
MOUSSE-ATANEOUS SCOOP NOW.
MOUSSE-ATANEOUS SCOOP.
YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE.
I'VE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL!
STYLATONIC CRIMPER.
STAT...
I SAID "STYLATONIC"...
[ FLATLINE ]
[ GASPS ]
COVER HIM UP.
I DON'T WANT HIS SECTOR TO SEE
HIM LIKE THIS.
COOL!
NUMBUH 305, IS HE GONNA BE
OKAY?
- PLEASE TELL ME PADDY WILL BE ALL - RIGHT.
I AM SORRY, NUMBUH 83.
[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
WE DID EVERYTHING WE COULD.
CAN WE AT LEAST SEE HIM?
WELL, OF COURSE YOU CAN, BUT
I MUST WARN YOU... HE IS, UM,
WELL, VERY HARD TO BE LOOKING AT
RIGHT NOW.
PADDY, ARE YOU OKAY?
[ BOTH SCREAM ]
NO! DON'T LOOK AT ME!
I'M HIDEOUS.
YES, YOU ARE.
EVERY YEAR, THOUSANDS OF DADS
TRY TO CUT THEIR KIDS' HAIR
INSTEAD OF TAKING THEM TO A REAL
BARBERSHOP.
WE HERE AT KIDS NEXT DOOR
HAIRSTYLE HEADQUARTERS CAN TRY
TO STYLE IT BACK TO SOME KIND OF
COOLNESS, BUT SOMETIMES [CRIES]
IT'S JUST TOO LATE.
WELL, IT DOESN'T LOOK THAT
BAD, PADDY.
YES, IT DOES!
AND YOU KNOW IT!
[ CRIES ]
THERE HE IS!
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
UHH!
OH!
THIS IS SO CONFUSING FOR ME.
WHEW!
THOSE KIDS NEXT DOOR STYLISTS
WANTED TO RUB DOG POOP ON MY
- HEAD TO SEE IF IT WOULD GROW MY - HAIR BACK.
OF ALL THE CRAZY, RIDICULOUS...
LEAPING LIZZIES!
WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU?
IT WASN'T THEM.
IT WAS MY DAD.
I USED TO HAVE GREAT HAIR...
REALLY COOL HAIR... AND THEN HE
HAD TO GO AND CUT IT!
[ CRYING ]
I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND.
I USED TO HAVE REALLY COOL HAIR,
TOO.
YOU... YOU DID?
YES... A LONG TIME AGO,
BEFORE I WAS EVEN IN THE KIDS
NEXT DOOR.
AT LEAST YOURS WILL GROW BACK.
MINE IS GONE FOREVER.
I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.
I JUST FEEL BAD FOR MY LITTLE
BROTHER.
- HE MUST BE FREAKING OUT RIGHT - NOW.
YOUR BROTHER?
YEAH. SHAUNIE.
DAD SAID HE WAS GONNA CUT HIS
HAIR FIRST THING TOMORROW
MORNING.
BUT THAT'S ONLY IN A COUPLE
OF HOURS!
WELL, NO KID'S GETTING A BAD
HAIRCUT ON MY WATCH, BUT I'M
GOING TO NEED YOUR HELP.
NUMBUHS, SECTORS.
NUMBUH 83, SIR.
SODA, SNACKS, AND TREATS
OFFICER.
SECTOR "W."
NUMBUH 84, SIR.
TACTICAL YO-YO SPECIALIST.
SECTOR "W."
NUMBUH 85, SIR!
FREAK SHOW OF SECTOR "W."
[ CRIES ]
LISTEN, PADDY, YOU STAY HERE
AND SAVE YOUR ENERGY.
YOU'RE GOING TO NEED IT TO DEAL
WITH EVERYONE MAKING FUN OF YOUR
HAIR.
- IN THE MEANTIME, THE REST OF US - WILL RESCUE YOUR BROTHER BEFORE
HE GOES UNDER THE SHEARS.
I DON'T KNOW.
MY DAD'S KIND OF A SOREHEAD.
AND IF YOU WAKE UP MY SISTER,
FORGET IT.
SHE'S WORSE THAN HIM.
I'VE YET TO MEET AN ADULT OR
OLDER SISTER THE KIDS NEXT DOOR
COULDN'T HANDLE.
KIDS NEXT DOOR G.O.G.O.
G.O.R.I.L.L.A.
- GIANT, OVERSIZED - GROUND-POLLUTERATING GIZMO
OBVIOUSLY RESEMBLES IMPOSSIBLY
LARGE LUMBERING APE.
OBVIOUSLY RESEMBLES IMPOSSIBLY
LARGE LUMBERING APE.
SONYA, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO
DO... TELL THE WHOLE
NEIGHBORHOOD WE'RE HERE?
BUT I'M AFRAID OF THE DARK!
I DON'T CARE IF...
Shh!
[ SNORING ]
THAT MUST BE THE AMATEUR
BARBER.
- WE BETTER GET PADDY'S BROTHER - AND GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE HE
WAKES UP.
COOL.
MUST BE THE SISTER'S ROOM.
SHE'S GOT MORE RAINBOW MONKEYS
THAN NUMBUH 3.
LOOK.
WHAA!
YAH!
SONYA!
PLEASE, DAD, NO!
DON'T CUT MY HAIR LIKE PADDY'S!
DON'T WORRY, SHAUNIE.
- THE KIDS NEXT DOOR ARE HERE TO - RESCUE YOU.
- JUST PACK YOUR THINGS, AND LET'S - GET OUT OF HERE.
GEE, I DON'T KNOW.
MY DAD'S GONNA BE AWFUL SORE IF
I MISS BREAKFAST.
FINE!
ENJOY YOUR RAINBOW MUNCHIES
WHILE YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR
BROTHER!
JAMMERING JIPPERS!
I'M WITH YOU GUYS!
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
LET'S MOVE OUT AND...
Shh!
[ SNORING ]
SONYA!
PULL THE... HUH?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY
HOUSE, NUMBUH 1?!
AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF
BED, SHAUNIE?!
I'M JUST GETTING A DRINK OF
WATER, DAD.
MR. BOSS.
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN A VILLAIN
LIKE YOU WOULD DO SUCH A THING
TO A KID'S HAIR.
BUT TO YOUR OWN SON?!
WHAT? IT LOOKS GREAT.
- A REAL WORK OF ART, IF YOU ASK - ME.
KNOCK IT OFF.
WE'RE TAKING SHAUNIE AWAY AND
PUTTING HIM INTO THE KIDS NEXT
DOOR HAIRCUT-PROTECTION PROGRAM
SO YOU'LL NEVER DO TO HIM WHAT
YOU DID TO PADDY.
OH, NO, YOU DON'T.
SHAUNIE, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
OKAY, DAD.
NOT A CHANCE.
YOU'RE COMING WITH US.
ALL RIGHT, NUMBUH 1!
WE'LL DO THIS THE HARD WAY!
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
LOOK OUT!
UHH!
DAD, STOP! PLEASE!
THERE'S NO WAY I'M PAYING 4
BUCKS FOR A HAIRCUT AT SOME
FANCY-SCHMANCY BARBERSHOP,
SHAUNIE, SO I'M CUTTING YOUR
HAIR TOMORROW, KIDS NEXT DOOR OR
NOT!
UHH!
[ PANTING ]
WAHH!
HUH?
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
UHH.
HYAH!
NICE SHOT, NUMBUH 84.
NOW REEL HIM IN.
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
IN THIS HOUSE, BRATS DON'T GET
FREE RIDES.
LOOKS LIKE YOU TWO COULD USE A
LITTLE OFF THE TOP.
COME IN, KIDS NEXT DOOR
COMMAND.
WE NEED IMMEDIATE BACKUP.
THIS BETTER BE GOOD,
SECTOR "W"!
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME
IT IS?!
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
[ SCREAMING ]
NOW TO STUFF YOU BRATS INTO
MY DEEP, DARK BASEMENT UNTIL I
FIGURE OUT HOW TO DISPOSE OF
YOU.
DARK BASEMENT?!
HEY, HEY, HEY, KID.
WHAT... WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
[ SCREAMING ]
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
WHAT IS ALL THE RACKET
ABOUT?!
[ GASPS ]
DADDY?
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!
NUMBUH 86, MR. BOSS IS YOUR
DAD?
NOT COOL.
OF COURSE HE'S MY DAD!
THIS IS MY HOUSE!
DUH!
BUT HE'S MY SECTOR'S
ARCHENEMY.
HE HATES KIDS.
DADDY, IS THIS TRUE?
UH, OF COURSE NOT, FANNY.
OH, COME ON!
WHAT ABOUT THE TIME YOU TRIED
SENDING ALL YOUR EMPLOYEES'
DAUGHTERS TO PLUTO?
NOT MY DAUGHTER.
I LOVE MY KIDS.
IT'S JUST EVERYONE ELSE'S I
HATE.
BUT, FANNY, YOU'RE ONE OF THE
KIDS NEXT DOOR LIKE NUMBUH 1 AND
HIS BRATTY FRIENDS?
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?
I-I WAS AFRAID YOU WOULDN'T
LOVE ME ANYMORE IF YOU KNEW I
FOUGHT ADULT TYRANNY.
[ Crying ] OH, DADDY!
[ MUTTERING ]
OH, JEEZ, FANNY.
CALM DOWN, FOR PETE'S SAKE.
IT'S OKAY IF YOU'RE IN THE
STUPID KIDS NEXT DOOR.
YOU'RE STILL MY LITTLE
FANNY PANTS.
REALLY?
SURE.
AND I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS KEEP
BATTLING ADULT TYRANNY, AND ME
AND MY FRIENDS WILL KEEP TRYING
TO MAKE OTHER KIDS' LIVES
MISERABLE.
[ GIGGLING ]
NOT IF THE KIDS NEXT DOOR STOPS
YOU FIRST, DADDY.
[ LAUGHS ]
THAT'S MY GIRL!
DAD, DOES THIS MEAN YOU'RE
STILL CUTTING MY HAIR TOMORROW?
DO YOU MIND, SHAUNIE?!
DAD AND I ARE TRYING TO HAVE A
MOMENT HERE!
KNOCK IT OFF, YOU TWO!
HEY, AS LONG AS WE'RE UP, WHO
WANTS PANCAKES?
I WANT PANCAKES!
HOW ABOUT YOU KIDS?
YOU WANT SOME PANCAKES?
UH, SURE.
PANCAKES WOULD BE GREAT.
THEN GO TO A DINER!
NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
[ SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY ]
5... 4... 3... 2... 1.
♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR
[ ELECTRIC GUITAR SOLO ]
♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR
5...
4...
3...
2...
1.
♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR
[ ELECTRIC GUITAR SOLO ]
♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR
5... 4... 3... 2... 1.