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NOW ACCESSING
HISTORICAL DATABASES.
YOU HAVE SELECTED
HISTORICAL FILE NUMBER 72368,
THE CREATION OF ADULTS.
Numbuh 1: IN THE BEGINNING,
THERE WERE CHILDREN,
AND FOR A TIME,
IT WAS PRETTY COOL.
THE KIDS PLAYED ON THE BEACHES,
EXPLORED THE WILD FORESTS,
AND RELAXED IN THE FIELDS.
THE WORLD WAS THEIR BIG,
ENDLESS PLAYGROUND.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THEY BUILT THEMSELVES
SIMPLE TREE HOUSES,
AND THEY LIVED WITHOUT RULES
OR NAP TIMES.
BUT IT WAS NOT LONG
BEFORE THEY BECAME BORED,
AS CHILDREN DO.
SOON THEIR PERFECT SOCIETY
GAVE WAY TO LAZINESS.
THUS DID CHILDREN DECIDE
TO CREATE ADULTS
IN THEIR OWN IMAGE,
ONLY FATTER, FUNNIER-LOOKING,
AND BIGGER,
SO THEY COULD REACH CEREAL BOXES
ON HIGH SHELVES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THE CHILDREN DRESSED THE ADULTS
IN STUPID OUTFITS
SO THEY COULD LAUGH AT THEM
AND GIVE THEM GOOFY NAMES
LIKE MR. PLOPPIT.
THEY ADULTS,
LOYAL AND EAGER TO PLEASE,
WORKED TIRELESSLY TO DO
THE CHILDREN'S BIDDING,
MAKING THEM PEANUT BUTTER
AND JELLY SANDWICHES,
CLEANING UP ALL OF THEIR MESSES,
AND BUILDING LARGER
AND MORE ELABORATE TREE HOUSES
FOR CHILDREN TO PLAY IN.
OHH! OH! OW! OHH-OH!
AND YET THE ADULTS GOT
NO RESPECT FROM CHILDREN,
THESE STRANGE,
SHORT-LEGGED CREATURES
WITH SNOT RUNNING DOWN
THEIR NOSES.
WITH THE ADULTS
ALREADY OVERWORKED
- AND GIVEN NO TIME - TO THEMSELVES,
THE CHILDREN DEMANDED
THAT THEY CONSTRUCT
THE COOLEST MONUMENT YET...
A GRAND TREE HOUSE,
ONE LARGER THAN ALL
THE TREE HOUSES BEFORE IT
THAT ALL OF KID-DOM
COULD LIVE IN AND PLAY,
AND THEY CALLED IT
"THE SUPER-DOUBLE-MEGA-TRIPLE
TREE HOUSE."
THE ADULTS WORKED ENDLESSLY
AROUND THE CLOCK
TO KEEP THIS SEEMINGLY
IMPOSSIBLE VISION,
WHILE STILL KEEPING UP
WITH THEIR COOKING, LAWN-MOWING,
AND ATTENDING
TO THEIR CHILDREN'S WHIMS,
LIKE PLAYING HORSEY...
[ HOOTS ]
OH, GIDDYUP, BOY!
IT WAS NOT LONG BEFORE SEEDS
OF DISSENT TOOK ROOT.
MR. WIGGLESTEIN... A NAME
THAT WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.
HE WAS THE FIRST OF HIS KIND
TO RISE UP AGAINST CHILDREN
IN WHAT WOULD COME TO BE KNOWN
AS "THE REALLY BAD THING
THAT HAPPENED."
AT MR. WIGGLESTEIN'S TRIAL,
THE PROSECUTION ARGUED FOR
A CHILD'S RIGHT TO PLAY HORSEY
WHENEVER AND AS MUCH
AS HE OR SHE WANTED.
BUT MR. WIGGLESTEIN TESTIFIED
- THAT HE HAD - HAD A ROUGH DAY AT WORK
- AND JUST DIDN'T FEEL - LIKE PLAYING HORSEY.
PRESSED TO THE POINT OF MADNESS
BY HIS CHILD'S CONSTANT WHINING,
MR. WIGGLESTEIN FINALLY SNAPPED.
IN A BLIND RAGE,
HE GRABBED THE CHILD
AND RAPIDLY PADDLED HIS BOTTOM
WITH HIS HAND.
- THIS NEW, - RATHER STING-Y ACT,
WAS FROM THEN ON CALLED
"SPANKING"
AND FOREVER CHANGED
THE RELATIONSHIP
BETWEEN KIDS AND ADULTS.
THE FURIOUS LEADERS OF CHILDREN
QUICKLY ORDERED THE IMMEDIATE
EXILE OF MR. WIGGLESTEIN
AND EVERY ONE OF HIS KIND FROM
EVERY TREE HOUSE ON THE PLANET.
BANISHED FROM CHILDLAND,
THE ADULTS SET OFF TO FIND
THEIR OWN PROMISED LAND,
A PLACE WITHOUT TREE HOUSES,
WHERE CHILDREN
WOULDN'T ALWAYS COMPLAIN
AND JUMP UP AND DOWN
ON THE BED...
A PLACE THEY COULD CALL HOME.
THEY CHRISTENED THIS NEW PLACE
"CLEVELAND,"
AND IN TIME, IT PROSPERED.
THE ADULTS BUILT
SUBURBAN HOUSES,
WENT TO LECTURE SERIES,
AND ATE LIVERWURST SANDWICHES.
EVENTUALLY, THEIR INDUSTRIES
BRED PRODUCTS
THAT NOT EVEN CHILDHOOD
COULD RESIST.
AND THEY CALLED THEM "TOYS."
BUT THE ADULTS' DEMAND FOR MONEY
MADE IT DIFFICULT FOR CHILDREN
TO OBTAIN THESE TOYS
WITHOUT HAVING TO STOOP TO TASKS
LIKE DELIVERING NEWSPAPERS
AND MOWING LAWNS FOR THE ADULTS.
THE CHILDREN WERE OUTRAGED.
WHY SHOULD THEY BE FORCED TO PAY
FOR THE ADULTS' CREATIONS
WHEN THE ADULTS WERE CREATIONS
OF THEIR OWN?
MANY AMONG THEM WISHED
TO SIMPLY TAKE THE TOYS
BUT KNEW THEY COULD NOT DO SO,
SO LONG AS ADULTS HELD
THE PAINFUL THREAT
OF SPANKING OVER THEM.
SO THE CHILDREN DEVISED
A DESPERATE ACT,
ONE THAT KIDS WOULD ATTEMPT
AGAIN IN THE FUTURE
WITH SIMILARLY DISASTROUS
RESULTS...
THE DESTRUCTION OF COFFEE,
THE ADULTS' ENERGY SOURCE.
WITHOUT IT, THE CHILDREN
COULD MARCH RIGHT INTO CLEVELAND
AND TAKE THE TOYS FROM
THE CRANKY AND POWERLESS ADULTS.
THE PROLONGED BOMBING
OF CLEVELAND'S COFFEE SHOPS
LASTED FOR WEEKS,
BUT UNLIKE
THE CHILDREN'S DELICATELY
- AND SHODDILY CRAFTED - TREE HOUSES,
THE ADULTS' COFFEE SHOPS
HAD NOTHING TO FEAR
FROM WATER BALLOONS.
Man: HELLO, ADULTS!
THE AGE OF CHILDREN IS OVER.
Numbuh 1: OUTRAGED AT THE
CHILDREN'S UNWARRANTED ATTACK,
THE ADULTS DECIDED
THE CHILDREN NEEDED
WHAT THEY CALLED
"THE BIG TIME OUT."
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
[ THUD ]
CHARGE!
RUN AWAY LIKE LITTLE GIRLS!
[ SHOUTING AND SCREAMING ]
WHOA!
NO! OW, OW!
[ GASPS ]
OH, THE PAIN!
THE STING-INESS!
OH, THE STING-INESS! OH, MY...
Numbuh 1: THUS DID CLEVELAND'S
TROOPS ADVANCE OUTWARD
IN EVERY DIRECTION,
AND ONE BY ONE, THE TREE HOUSES
OF CHILDREN FELL.
IT WAS NOT LONG BEFORE
CHILDHOOD'S GREATEST MONUMENT,
THE VERY SYMBOL OF THEIR GREED,
CAME UNDER ATTACK,
AND THE CHILDREN RAN AWAY.
[ ADULT LAUGHTER ]
VICTORY!
- THAT HURT THEM MORE - THAN IT HURT ME!
WITH THE FALL
- OF THE SUPER-DOUBLE-MEGA-TRIPLE - TREE HOUSE,
THE CHILDREN FELL BACK
TO THE ONLY REMAINING PLACE
WHERE THEY COULD ESCAPE
THE POWERFUL ADULTS... THE MOON.
- SATISFIED WITH THEIR VICTORY - OVER THE EARTH,
THE ADULTS ALLOWED THE CHILDREN
TO LIVE ON THE MOON,
WHERE THEY COULD MAKE
ALL THE NOISE THEY WANTED
AND STAY UP ALL NIGHT EATING
CANDY AND WATCHING CARTOONS.
AND FOR A TIME,
IT WASN'T SO BAD.
BUT IT WAS NOT LONG BEFORE
CHILDREN BEGAN TO YEARN
- FOR THE OCEANS - THEY ONCE SWAM IN,
THE FORESTS THEY ONCE EXPLORED,
AND THE TOYS THEY ONCE
PLAYED WITH ON EARTH.
IT WAS AT THIS VERY SAME TIME
THAT ADULTS FELL VICTIM TO THE
SAME SINS OF LAZINESS AND GREED
THAT HAD BEFALLEN THE CHILDREN
BEFORE THEM.
THEY MISSED HAVING KIDS
DOING CHORES FOR THEM...
TAKING OUT THEIR TRASH
AND SHOVELING SNOW
FROM THEIR DRIVEWAYS.
SO THE ADULT AMBASSADORS
CAME TO THE MOON BASE
WITH PLANS FOR A CIVIL, STABLE
RELATIONSHIP WITH CHILDREN,
ONE WHERE THEY COULD ALL LIVE
ON THE EARTH
IN HARMONY AND EQUALITY.
THE CHILDREN DECIDED
TO WILLINGLY RETURN TO THE EARTH
AND LIVE TOGETHER WITH ADULTS
IN SMALL GROUPINGS
CALLED "FAMILIES."
CHILDREN AND ADULTS COULD
FINALLY LIVE TOGETHER AS EQUALS.
OR COULD THEY?!
SOON AFTERWARDS,
THE ADULTS CREATED PLACES
TO IMPRISON CHILDREN
CALLED "SCHOOLS"
- WHERE THEY DRAINED OUT - ALL OF OUR MEMORIES
SO THAT WE'D FORGET
WE CREATED THEM.
AND IF THAT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH,
THEY INVENTED HOMEWORK
AND AFTER-SCHOOL ACTIVITIES
TO CONTROL US EVEN MORE.
AND DO YOU HEAR THAT... BZZZ!
COMING FROM THE FLUORESCENT
LIGHTS ABOVE YOUR HEADS?
THAT'S THE ADULT MICROWAVE
CRANIAL JELLIFIER
SLOWLY TURNING OUR BRAINS
INTO MILK SHAKES.
AND THE STUFF THEY SERVE
ON THURSDAYS IN THE CAFETERIA?
IT'S RAINBOW MONKEY.
THEY'RE MAKING US EAT
RAINBOW MONKEY!
- AND THEN THEY MAKE YOU BRUSH - YOUR TEETH,
BECAUSE IF YOUR TEETH ROT OUT,
- THEN THEY CAN'T IMPLANT - THE SUBMOLAR TRACKING DEVICES
THEY USE TO TELL WHERE
YOU GO WHEN YOU ESCAPE!
IT'S A LIE!
EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS A LIE!
[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
MR. UNO, THAT'S ENOUGH.
RISE UP AND THROW OFF
THE OPPRESSION! RISE UP!!
THAT'S ENOUGH!!
BUT I WAS JUST GETTING
TO THE GOOD PART.
MR. UNO, THAT REPORT HAS
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO
WITH THE SIGNING OF THE
DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE.
DOESN'T IT, MR. FRYBINGLE?
I LIKE THE PART
WITH THE GIANT-ROBOT WAR.
[ IMITATING MACHINE-GUN FIRE ]
- WELL, I LIKE - WHEN MY STUDENTS
ACTUALLY USE THEIR TEXTBOOKS
TO WRITE A REPORT
- AND NOT THEIR RIDICULOUS - IMAGINATIONS.
SO I'M GIVING YOU
A DOUBLE F-MINUS.
[ BELL RINGS ]
AW, HE'S CRAZY,
NUMBUH 1.
HOW COULD HE NOT LIKE THE PART
WITH THE WATER BALLOONS?
OH, AND THE GIANT TREE HOUSE
WAS SO COOL!
THEY KNOW.
ALL RIGHT, KIDS NEXT DOOR,
JUST ANOTHER REMINDER.
HAMSTERS, UNFORTUNATELY,
DO NOT CLEAN THEMSELVES.
BUT NUMBUH 2 IS... AAH!
[ Scottish accent ]
LISTEN UP!
I REQUIRE VOLUNTEERS FOR
AN EXTRA SUPERSECRET MISSION.
OOH, OOH!
PICK ME, NUMBUH 86.
IT'S TO GUARD
THE ULTRAIMPORTANIC
KIDS NEXT DOOR
CODE MODULE, RIGHT?
NO, THE CODE MODULE
IS SAFE AND SECURE
- IN THE KIDS NEXT DOOR - MOON BASE.
YOU CAN'T FOOL ME WITH
YOUR REVERSE PSYCHOLOGIST.
I'VE HEARD THAT
THE CODE MODULE CAN MONITOR
- WHEN EVERY KID - IS WATCHING TV.
WITH INFORMATION LIKE THAT,
ADULTS COULD CHANGE
THE TV SCHEDULE
AND BORIFY KAZILLIONS
OF KI...
THIS MISSION
IS FOR GIRLS ONLY!
GIRLS?!
A BOY WOULD BE
AN UNACCEPTABLE SECURITY RISK.
- SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY, - GIRLS?
GO ON AN ALL-NIGHT MISSION
WITH YOU?
SORRY, BUT NUMBUH 5
IS GONNA BE BUSY
NOT DOING THAT.
- WHAT ABOUT YOU, - NUMBUH 3?
WILL THERE BE POPCORN?
UH, SURE, YEAH.
POPCORN.
BUTTERED POPCORN?
YEAH, SURE.
SUPER EXTRA...
ARE YOU IN OR NOT?!
OKAY.
NOW, LET'S GO OUT
AND FIND MORE RECRUITS
BEFORE IT GETS DARK.
YES, MA'AM.
OH, BOY, OH, BOY! POPCORN.
YAY, YAY, YAY!
I AM GOING ON THAT MISSION
NO MATTER WHAT.
SO, BEFORE WE BEGIN
OUR MISSION,
LET ME INTRODUCE YOU
TO YOUR FELLOW OPERATIVES.
NUMBUH 12, NUMBUH 23,
NUMBUH 3,
AND, UH...
DO I KNOW YOU?
I'M, UH, A NEW OPERATIVE,
NUMBUH 4... 30-TEEN 7?
OKAY.
WELCOME ABOARD,
NUMBER 4 30-TEEN 7.
OUR MISSION IS TO HAVE...
A SLUMBER PARTY.
A CRUDDY SLUMBER PARTY?
I THOUGHT THIS WAS TO GUARD
THE CODE MOD...
I MEAN, UH, HURRAY!
HOW SLUMBERIFIC!
I KNOW IT'S UNUSUAL,
BUT ME MUM IS FORCING ME
TO THROW A SLUMBER PARTY,
AND I HAD TO INVITE SOMEONE.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE
SOME OF YOUR OWN FRIENDS?
OH.
DON'T WORRY, NUMBUH 86.
I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND.
HELLO, LADIES!
DON'T JUST STAND THERE,
FANNY PANTS.
LET ME TAKE YOUR PICTURE.
MOM!
[ LAUGHS ] FANNY!
OH, SHE MAY NOT LIKE ME
TO CALL HER THAT
NOW THAT SHE'S A BIG GIRL,
BUT EVEN IF SHE'S
A BIG FANNY NOW,
SHE'LL ALWAYS BE
"LITTLE FANNY" TO ME.
BUT WHAT ARE WE ALL DOING
STANDING OUT HERE IN THE COLD
LIKE CUCKOO BIRDS?
GET HERE AND, UH...
DO WHATEVER IT IS GIRLS DO
AT SLUMBER PARTIES.
BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO.
DON'T WORRY.
I'LL SHOW YOU. COME ON.
UH-UH-UH.
YOU GET IN THERE, LITTLE MISSY.
HEAVEN FORBID YOU SHOULD MISS
THE SLUMBER PARTY OF THE YEAR.
[ CHUCKLES EVILLY ]
WELL, GIRLS,
WELCOME TO MY ROOM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
RAINBOW MONKEYS?
- I WOULD NEVER - HAVE PEGGED YOU
AS A RAINBOW MONKEY
FANATIC.
I JUST CAN'T RESIST THEM.
AND, IF YOU TELL
ANY OF THE BOYS,
I WILL KILL YOU.
♪ RAINBOW MONKEYS,
RAINBOW MONKEYS ♪
♪ RAINBOW
♪ OH, RED AND ORANGE
♪ AND PINK AND BLUE
♪ RAINBOW MONKEYS,
RAINBOW MONKEYS ♪
♪ WE LOVE YOU
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ GASPS ] [ GASPS ]
[ LAUGHS ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ COUGHING ]
[ GASPS ]
AAH!
YOU THROW A GREAT
SLUMBER PARTY, FANNY.
I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT
WITHOUT YOU, NUMBUH 12.
WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?
- OOH, I WAS HAVING - SO MUCH FUN,
I FORGOT TO CHECK IN WITH
THE KIDS NEXT DOOR MOON BASE.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
OKAY, NUMBUH 3,
TRUTH OR DARE?
TRUTH, SILLY.
OKAY.
DO YOU LIKE NUMBUH 4?
[ COUGHING ]
OF COURSE
I LIKE NUMBUH 4.
WE'RE IN THE SAME UNIT.
NO.
DO YOU LIKE-LIKE
NUMBUH 4?
YOU MEAN, LIKE,
LIKE-LIKE, LIKE-LIKE?
YES! YES!
[ GIGGLES ] [ GIGGLES ]
UH...
- I... - Numbuh 86: AAH!
THAT CAME FROM THE KITCHEN.
COME ON.
I'M SORRY, FANNY,
BUT I CANNOT ALLOW YOU
TO CONTACT MOON BASE COMMAND.
HOW DID YOU KNOW
ABOUT THE MOO...
WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU'RE NOT MY MOM.
CLEVER DEDUCTION...
WHOA!
FOR A BRATTY GIRL.
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
WITH ME MUM?
OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT HER.
SHE THINKS SHE'S WON A SPA DAY
AT CHEZ MASSAGE.
I'D WORRY MORE ABOUT
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO YOU.
CHAD?
SURPRISED TO SEE ME?
SURPRISED TO SEE YOU
WEARING A BRA.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S... IT'S NOT A BRA.
IT'S BATTLE-READY ARMOR.
IT'S FOR DISGUISES
AND STUFF.
WHATEVER YOU SAY,
CHADERELLA.
[ LAUGHS ]
YOU SHUT UP!
NO, YOU SHUT UP!
ONE LOUSY TEEN TRAITOR
IS NO MATCH
FOR FIVE KIDS NEXT DOOR
OPERATIVES.
[ ALL GRUMBLING ]
MAYBE.
BUT I'M MORE THAN A MATCH
IF I'VE GOT A HOSTAGE.
[ ALL GASP ]
MY PERFECT PAJAMA PARTY
RAINBOW MONKEY!
THAT'S RIGHT.
SO JUST STAY WHERE YOU ARE,
AND YOUR BELOVED RAINBOW DOOFUS
MIGHT SURVIVE.
JUST DO WHAT HE SAYS.
I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU,
TEEN BOY.
THE ONLY THING I HATE MORE
THAN RAINBOW DORKEYS
IS CRUDDY TRAITORS
LIKE YOU.
[ PUNCH CONNECTING ]
[ GASPS ]
WHEW!
WHEW! WHEW!
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!
WHEN THERE'S A RAINBOW MONKEY
AT STAKE,
YOU CANNOT START JUMPING AROUND
LIKE A STUPID... BOY?
NUMBUH 4? NUMBUH 4?
NUMBUH 4? NUMBUH4?
OH, UH...
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
HOW DARE YOU TRICK ME TO GET
IN ON MY GIRLS-ONLY MISSION!
WHEN I GET THROUGH WITH YOU,
I'LL...
GUYS, IF CHAD WAS SUPPOSED
TO KEEP US HERE,
THAT MEANS SOMETHING'S
GOING DOWN
AT KIDS NEXT DOOR
MOON BASE.
[ GASPS ]
NUMBUH 86?
I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON
- AN ALL-NIGHT - SUPERSECRET MISSION.
- CHANGE IN PLANS, - NUMBUH 55.
- I NEED TO CHECK THAT - THE CODE MODULE IS SAFE,
SO WE'LL NEED BOTH
OUR AUTHORIZATION CODES.
VOICE AUTHORIZATION CODES,
PLEASE.
AUTHORIZATION "YIPPER."
AUTHORIZATION
"RAINBOW MONKEY HUGS."
COME ON!
WE HAVE NO TIME TO LOSE.
[ COUGHING ]
HUH?
HEY, WAIT A SECOND.
HOW CAN YOU...
BUT IF YOU'RE...
AND THOSE WERE...
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!
NICE BRA, TEENAGER.
THANKS.
BATTLE-READY ARMOR MAKES
SUCH GOOD DISGUISES,
DON'T YOU THINK?
HOLY COW!
IT'S C-C-CREE!
UHHHH!
AAH!
UHH. WHOA-HOA-HOA!
YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST STAYED
AT YOUR LITTLE SLUMBER PARTY,
KIDDIES.
WELL, WE DIDN'T WANT
YOU CRUDDY TEENS
TO MISS OUT
ON THE PILLOW FIGHT!
HYAH! HYAH!
ARMOR ON!
[ ALL GRUNTING ]
HYAH!
AAH!
TAKE THIS!
HUH? AAH!
TIME FOR NIGHT-NIGHT.
HUH?
MIND IF I CUT IN?
AAH!
Numbuh 86: IT'S OVER, CREE.
ALL YOUR DISGUISES
AND DOUBLE CROSSES
CAN'T CHANGE THE FACT
THAT WE KICK YOUR BUTT
EVERY TIME.
RIGHT, TEAM?
RIGHT!
RIGHT! RIGHT!
RIGHT!
WRONG.
I'M SORRY, FANNY.
I REALLY DID HAVE FUN
AT YOUR PARTY.
SHE'S GOT THE CODE MODULE.
NUMBUH 12? WHY?
WELL, I'M ALMOST 13.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO WORK
FOR THE TEENS SOONER OR LATER,
SO I FIGURED,
WHY NOT SOONER?
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
NOOO!
NUMBUH 12.
SHE WAS THE CLOSEST THING
TO A FRIEND I EVER HAD.
DON'T WORRY.
WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
[ WHISTLING ]
WELL, I'M YOUR FRIEND.
EITHER WAY, THIS AIN'T OVER,
NOT BY A LONG SHOT...
FANNY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
5... 4... 3... 2... 1.
♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR
[ ELECTRIC GUITAR SOLO ]
♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR
5...
4...
3...
2...
1.
♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR
[ ELECTRIC GUITAR SOLO ]
♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR
5... 4... 3... 2... 1.