1 00:00:03,150 --> 00:00:05,730 This is a show about a world famous foot surgeon. 2 00:00:07,273 --> 00:00:09,406 who's only four years old. 3 00:00:10,328 --> 00:00:12,546 - Ouch! - And not very good. 4 00:00:12,617 --> 00:00:14,187 Hi. 5 00:00:14,361 --> 00:00:15,561 I'm kidding. 6 00:00:18,598 --> 00:00:20,683 This is a show about possibilities. 7 00:00:20,707 --> 00:00:22,152 the endless possibilities 8 00:00:22,176 --> 00:00:24,117 that life serves up to us every day. 9 00:00:24,142 --> 00:00:25,851 [alarm buzzes] 10 00:00:25,876 --> 00:00:27,063 [drink spills] 11 00:00:27,125 --> 00:00:32,148 [electricution sounds] 12 00:00:33,090 --> 00:00:35,160 I didn't say they were all good possibilities. 13 00:00:37,594 --> 00:00:39,636 Have you ever thought about how many different things 14 00:00:39,660 --> 00:00:41,600 can happen at any given moment? 15 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:46,843 I'm young, but who knows what my arteries look like. 16 00:00:47,257 --> 00:00:50,625 And what if in my last breath I tried to dial 9-1-1? 17 00:00:50,664 --> 00:00:51,725 [operator] For what city? 18 00:00:51,765 --> 00:00:54,296 ...only I accidentally dial 4-1-1? 19 00:00:54,460 --> 00:00:56,747 [heartbeat noise] I'm dying? 20 00:00:56,772 --> 00:00:57,937 For what listing? 21 00:00:58,410 --> 00:00:59,210 Help me. 22 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,310 Please hold while an operator checks for that number. 23 00:01:02,383 --> 00:01:03,929 [faster heartbeat] 24 00:01:04,035 --> 00:01:06,035 [thump] 25 00:01:06,060 --> 00:01:08,226 Or the pain in my chest could hve just as easily 26 00:01:08,251 --> 00:01:09,894 turned out to have been indigestion. 27 00:01:09,918 --> 00:01:10,795 [belch] 28 00:01:14,830 --> 00:01:16,510 I think about this stuff constantly. 29 00:01:16,890 --> 00:01:18,330 That's probably why I'm a writer. 30 00:01:18,660 --> 00:01:20,850 Writers are obsessed with possibilities. 31 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:22,640 Here's one... 32 00:01:22,804 --> 00:01:25,812 ♪♪ [Joan Jett's "Crimson and Clover" plays] This is Wendy. 33 00:01:26,098 --> 00:01:28,601 The new receptionist in the office where I work. 34 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,039 I have a huge crush on her. 35 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:37,484 Andy... 36 00:01:39,090 --> 00:01:40,093 Wendy? 37 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,031 What are you doing here? 38 00:01:42,210 --> 00:01:43,578 I just had to see you... 39 00:01:43,620 --> 00:01:45,437 luckily your front door was open. 40 00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:46,953 I don't believe this. 41 00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:49,020 I never leave my front door open. 42 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:50,898 No, that's stupid. 43 00:01:51,090 --> 00:01:53,492 It's probably what I'd say, but I'd regret it. 44 00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:55,039 I Don't believe this. 45 00:01:55,290 --> 00:01:58,265 It's like my whole life has been leading up to this moment. 46 00:01:58,590 --> 00:02:02,268 You and me blending together they're into a perfect... 47 00:02:03,285 --> 00:02:04,498 Oh, what's that word... 48 00:02:04,531 --> 00:02:07,190 you know, it's when things blend together? Uh... 49 00:02:07,926 --> 00:02:09,213 It's not osmosis-- 50 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,143 She's right, I should just shut up. 51 00:02:11,490 --> 00:02:14,010 [song continues] 52 00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:14,900 See? 53 00:02:15,043 --> 00:02:16,581 Anything can happen... 54 00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:18,726 [alarm buzzes] 55 00:02:18,750 --> 00:02:20,979 including what usually does. 56 00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:26,683 ♪ You don't have to understand why ♪ 57 00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:31,128 ♪ You don't have to look over your sholder all the time ♪ 58 00:02:31,283 --> 00:02:33,745 ♪ You never know just what's around the bend ♪ 59 00:02:33,824 --> 00:02:35,667 ♪ Where to go and where you've been ♪ 60 00:02:35,692 --> 00:02:37,692 ♪ Just see the world through my eyes ♪ 61 00:02:37,761 --> 00:02:40,909 ♪ And I think you'd be surprised ♪ 62 00:02:43,701 --> 00:02:46,010 Shanghai, 1941... 63 00:02:46,989 --> 00:02:49,291 ...also has nothing to do with this show. 64 00:02:50,285 --> 00:02:52,175 All right, let's do some housekeeping. 65 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,223 I live in Chicago. 66 00:02:53,288 --> 00:02:54,434 {\an8}I worked for the fifth largest 67 00:02:54,459 --> 00:02:55,535 {\an8}company in America... 68 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:56,444 {\an8}Pickering Industries. 69 00:02:58,023 --> 00:02:59,834 {\an8}We make everything from 70 00:02:59,859 --> 00:03:01,886 {\an8}nightlights to nuclear missiles. 71 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:04,574 {\an8}Oh look, here's the dead guy 72 00:03:04,598 --> 00:03:06,878 {\an8}who founded it over a hundred years ago. 73 00:03:07,710 --> 00:03:09,369 {\an8}Hello, Mr. Pickering. 74 00:03:11,529 --> 00:03:13,066 {\an8}The problem with America 75 00:03:13,171 --> 00:03:15,410 is the negro, and the Jew. 76 00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:17,196 {\an8}You're just a huge 77 00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:19,143 {\an8}racist bastard, aren't you? 78 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,249 {\an8}maybe so, but... 79 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,574 {\an8}in 1903, I revolutionized 80 00:03:23,609 --> 00:03:26,438 {\an8}the manufacturing of the steel ingot. 81 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:27,845 {\an8}What have you done... 82 00:03:27,870 --> 00:03:30,120 {\an8}besides right a bunch of short stories 83 00:03:30,145 --> 00:03:32,600 {\an8}you can't even get published? 84 00:03:33,762 --> 00:03:35,195 I got one published. 85 00:03:35,220 --> 00:03:36,389 {\an8}One. 86 00:03:37,169 --> 00:03:39,287 {\an8}What kind of man calls himself 87 00:03:39,312 --> 00:03:41,262 a "writer" anyway? 88 00:03:42,349 --> 00:03:44,367 {\an8}I'll tell you what kind... 89 00:03:44,612 --> 00:03:46,907 The homosexual. 90 00:03:50,774 --> 00:03:53,977 All right, so, big company-- founded by a jerk. 91 00:03:54,230 --> 00:03:56,096 My job is writing manuals for-- 92 00:03:56,390 --> 00:03:57,565 Whoa. 93 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:01,770 ♪♪ [Etta James' "At Last" plays] 94 00:04:03,065 --> 00:04:03,865 Wendy. 95 00:04:11,496 --> 00:04:14,592 [song continues] 96 00:04:26,029 --> 00:04:28,029 [song stops abruptly] 97 00:04:28,163 --> 00:04:30,794 Andy, this came for you from upstairs. 98 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:32,268 What? 99 00:04:32,497 --> 00:04:35,012 This... came for you from upstairs. 100 00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:36,946 Upstairs. 101 00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:43,714 Oh, I wish I could just once be suave. 102 00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,979 This came for you, from upstairs. 103 00:04:46,980 --> 00:04:48,264 Thanks. 104 00:04:48,970 --> 00:04:51,370 Did you know that when the Moon first formed, 105 00:04:51,409 --> 00:04:53,241 It was so close to the Earth that it 106 00:04:53,306 --> 00:04:55,530 would have appeared fifteen times larger 107 00:04:55,530 --> 00:04:57,473 in the night sky that it does today? 108 00:04:58,427 --> 00:05:02,307 [speaking Italian]. 109 00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:05,900 [laughs] 110 00:05:07,729 --> 00:05:10,149 Oh my god, you were serious? 111 00:05:10,238 --> 00:05:12,491 [laughs derisively] 112 00:05:12,516 --> 00:05:14,340 See? A lot can go wrong. 113 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,741 Better to... keep my mouth shut. 114 00:05:18,105 --> 00:05:19,805 - Taste this. - No. 115 00:05:19,830 --> 00:05:20,760 it's good, it's like a... 116 00:05:20,785 --> 00:05:22,698 fruit loaf, or something. 117 00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:24,373 I'm obsessed with the new receptionist. 118 00:05:24,398 --> 00:05:26,195 My Mom sent me like 300 pounds of it. 119 00:05:26,229 --> 00:05:28,147 She's so beautiful. 120 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:29,796 Well, if she knows how to form and bake 121 00:05:29,821 --> 00:05:31,917 mass quantities of the fruit that's for sure. 122 00:05:31,951 --> 00:05:34,251 You think she could ever be interested in me? 123 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:37,298 I dunno, maybe after my Dad dies. 124 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:41,120 Keith, I'm talking about Wendy, the new receptionist 125 00:05:41,250 --> 00:05:42,990 Oh yeah, she's hot. 126 00:05:43,570 --> 00:05:44,370 Yeah... 127 00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:46,259 She seems so unattainable, though. 128 00:05:46,620 --> 00:05:47,786 Definitely. 129 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:48,680 Only... 130 00:05:49,230 --> 00:05:50,383 she's not. 131 00:05:51,879 --> 00:05:52,988 Oh, my god 132 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:53,960 Wait! 133 00:05:54,605 --> 00:05:57,317 Did you have sex with my Wendy? 134 00:05:57,674 --> 00:05:59,199 It does not feel right talking about it. 135 00:05:59,340 --> 00:06:01,632 how could you do that? You know how I feel about her! 136 00:06:01,748 --> 00:06:02,972 She's been here like, a month. 137 00:06:02,997 --> 00:06:04,647 You haven't even talked to her. 138 00:06:04,783 --> 00:06:06,653 What's up with that, by the way? 139 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:08,225 I'm shy. 140 00:06:08,580 --> 00:06:10,012 It's endearing. 141 00:06:10,830 --> 00:06:13,030 You can't relate to this because you're too good looking. 142 00:06:13,111 --> 00:06:14,225 I'm not dissin' you. 143 00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:15,090 Seriously. 144 00:06:15,630 --> 00:06:17,160 You see something, it's yours. 145 00:06:17,350 --> 00:06:18,150 Wendy... 146 00:06:18,180 --> 00:06:19,140 fruit loaf... 147 00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:20,481 good teeth. 148 00:06:20,670 --> 00:06:22,931 You have no idea what it's like to be around someone 149 00:06:22,955 --> 00:06:25,289 - so attractive you can't even talk to them. - Hi Suzy! 150 00:06:25,590 --> 00:06:26,790 [Suzy] Hi, Keith! 151 00:06:27,030 --> 00:06:28,010 I'm sorry, what? 152 00:06:28,329 --> 00:06:29,129 [Andy] It's true. 153 00:06:29,370 --> 00:06:31,445 Things just come to good looking people. 154 00:06:31,470 --> 00:06:34,090 The world likes them more, treat them better... 155 00:06:34,115 --> 00:06:35,862 Keith? Big problem with the-- 156 00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:39,719 I'm sorry you're too handsome for this mess. 157 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,350 I'll dump it on someone else. 158 00:06:41,430 --> 00:06:42,230 Thanks. 159 00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:44,135 Oh, god, I almost forgot... 160 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:46,385 Because you are so handsome... 161 00:06:46,410 --> 00:06:47,675 a bunch of us chipped in... 162 00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,915 and got you an envelope full of money. 163 00:06:50,550 --> 00:06:52,210 You guys... 164 00:06:52,790 --> 00:06:53,870 [Andy] I know what you're thinking-- 165 00:06:53,970 --> 00:06:56,516 Keith's my friend, and I'm just being bitter. 166 00:06:56,670 --> 00:06:59,817 But I had my heart broken, so I'm allowed to lash out. 167 00:06:59,909 --> 00:07:02,180 Like you're all so perfect. 168 00:07:09,450 --> 00:07:10,579 Who are you? 169 00:07:10,719 --> 00:07:11,965 I'm Byron. 170 00:07:12,359 --> 00:07:14,446 What are you doing in my office? 171 00:07:14,677 --> 00:07:15,999 This is my office. 172 00:07:16,380 --> 00:07:17,430 No, it's not. 173 00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:18,695 Yes... 174 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:19,520 it is. 175 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:23,100 Then, why are all my things in your office? 176 00:07:23,449 --> 00:07:26,291 Oh! Well, I figured that that was just some kind of a... 177 00:07:26,430 --> 00:07:27,155 prank? 178 00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:27,980 You know? 179 00:07:28,108 --> 00:07:30,123 You know, like uh... like, hey! 180 00:07:30,148 --> 00:07:32,227 Hey, let's put a whole bunch of stuff in the new guy's office... 181 00:07:32,261 --> 00:07:34,934 You know? Make him feel like he doesn't belong. 182 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,145 Like-like-like he is just... 183 00:07:37,170 --> 00:07:39,870 hated and despised. 184 00:07:40,170 --> 00:07:41,585 Won't that be funny? 185 00:07:41,930 --> 00:07:44,827 Yeah, maybe we can get to kill himself? 186 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:49,954 I like the way your mind works. 187 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:51,858 But still it's... 188 00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:52,830 Mm office. 189 00:07:53,550 --> 00:07:55,350 Your writing the manual for the new 190 00:07:55,590 --> 00:07:57,717 Blackfish Torpedo project, right? 191 00:07:57,913 --> 00:08:00,365 Oh yeah, I never finished telling you what I do. 192 00:08:00,390 --> 00:08:02,705 I write manuals for industrial products. 193 00:08:02,730 --> 00:08:05,615 Like the new Pickering Industries Blackfish Torpedo. 194 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:09,907 With a range of over five miles the enhanced XP guidance and homing system 195 00:08:09,941 --> 00:08:12,549 can deliver over 700 pounds of high explosives 196 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,335 with hull-crushing accuracy. 197 00:08:16,590 --> 00:08:19,856 But none of that explains what the hell this guy's doing here. 198 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:22,298 I have no idea why he's in your office. 199 00:08:22,380 --> 00:08:24,240 You're the head of the department. 200 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:26,350 Shouldn't you know things like that? 201 00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:28,475 This is Arnich's fault. 202 00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:31,760 He purposely doesn't tell me things to make me look bad. 203 00:08:31,876 --> 00:08:33,528 The man is a ferret. 204 00:08:33,695 --> 00:08:35,220 A horrible little ferret. 205 00:08:35,740 --> 00:08:37,073 Aren't ferrets cute? 206 00:08:37,098 --> 00:08:38,075 Yeah, they're very cute. 207 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,456 The man is a slug. 208 00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:40,205 That's better. 209 00:08:40,230 --> 00:08:43,030 A horrible little-- Hey, Arnich, hi, it's Jessica. 210 00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:44,525 Tell him we're not putting up with it. 211 00:08:44,550 --> 00:08:47,669 So apparently there's some new guy and Andy's office 212 00:08:47,712 --> 00:08:49,085 I demand respect! 213 00:08:49,110 --> 00:08:51,515 And since I am the head of the department 214 00:08:51,539 --> 00:08:53,128 And get us new coffee maker. 215 00:08:53,220 --> 00:08:55,175 Okay, what you're doing right now-- 216 00:08:55,209 --> 00:08:56,897 is working against you. 217 00:08:57,002 --> 00:08:59,944 [Andy] I know, Jessica's pretty, and I can talk to her... 218 00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:01,612 but I've known Jessica for years. 219 00:09:01,636 --> 00:09:04,124 Before she became my boss, we used to work together. 220 00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:06,497 We even tried to go out once. 221 00:09:08,959 --> 00:09:09,740 Nah. 222 00:09:09,990 --> 00:09:10,969 Yoiu sure? 223 00:09:11,078 --> 00:09:12,317 Aren't you? 224 00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:20,480 Yeah. 225 00:09:22,230 --> 00:09:24,387 Maybe we should try sleeping together. 226 00:09:24,961 --> 00:09:25,608 I don't know. 227 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:29,475 I think this might be one of those situations where having bad sex won't help. 228 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,073 I think we've just been friends for too long. 229 00:09:32,340 --> 00:09:35,280 We might have crossed a line that time that I held your hair while you were 230 00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:37,434 - vomiting. - Oh yeah, that was nice. 231 00:09:37,523 --> 00:09:38,977 Yeah. 232 00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:42,149 Okay. His name is Byron Togler... 233 00:09:42,173 --> 00:09:43,860 He's a new illustrator who's going to be working 234 00:09:43,860 --> 00:09:45,501 with you on the Blackfish manual. 235 00:09:45,630 --> 00:09:47,522 Now, here's the part that you're not gonna like. 236 00:09:47,547 --> 00:09:50,501 I am not sharing my office with him. 237 00:09:51,269 --> 00:09:53,792 Look at him: Eating his sandwich... 238 00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:55,429 sharpening his pencil... 239 00:09:55,980 --> 00:09:57,942 This isn't working at all. 240 00:10:00,630 --> 00:10:01,721 Hey. 241 00:10:15,164 --> 00:10:16,087 Hey. 242 00:10:18,614 --> 00:10:20,188 Wanna potato chip? 243 00:10:21,224 --> 00:10:22,610 No thanks. 244 00:10:23,726 --> 00:10:26,419 A potato chip. Right. 245 00:10:26,483 --> 00:10:29,055 Like I can be bought off with a fried legume, or... 246 00:10:29,164 --> 00:10:30,657 whatever they are. 247 00:10:30,794 --> 00:10:32,479 Oh, a potato chip! 248 00:10:32,504 --> 00:10:34,495 Let's be best friends! 249 00:10:35,878 --> 00:10:37,370 I'm becoming incredibly hostile. 250 00:10:37,474 --> 00:10:39,015 What they did to you isn't right. 251 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:42,034 I cannot spend eight hours a day with this guy. 252 00:10:42,833 --> 00:10:44,523 You're here eight hours? 253 00:10:44,624 --> 00:10:45,833 Aren't you? 254 00:10:46,664 --> 00:10:47,786 Always. 255 00:10:48,853 --> 00:10:50,889 My point is, you can't just take this lying down. 256 00:10:50,914 --> 00:10:52,698 You have to take action. 257 00:10:52,934 --> 00:10:54,221 Keith was right. 258 00:10:54,494 --> 00:10:57,914 And I decided my action would be to get Byron fired. 259 00:10:59,024 --> 00:11:01,214 I know it sounds mean, but-- 260 00:11:01,403 --> 00:11:04,837 It was nothing personal. I just wanted my office back. 261 00:11:05,961 --> 00:11:07,893 But how would I do it? 262 00:11:13,154 --> 00:11:14,524 Too obvious. 263 00:11:23,093 --> 00:11:25,618 I had about a hundred other letter ideas... 264 00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:27,218 But none of them were any better... 265 00:11:27,242 --> 00:11:31,077 and some of them reflect badly on me psychologically. 266 00:11:33,644 --> 00:11:35,528 I decided the only thing I could do 267 00:11:35,613 --> 00:11:38,623 was alter one of the schematics Byron was working on. 268 00:11:38,804 --> 00:11:42,378 Arnich-- that's the weasel upstairs and checks our work every night-- 269 00:11:42,403 --> 00:11:44,389 he has no tolerance for mistakes. 270 00:11:44,414 --> 00:11:46,993 So Byron would be gone by morning. 271 00:11:49,874 --> 00:11:51,778 That's it!? 272 00:11:52,238 --> 00:11:55,124 In my day, if you wanted to sabotage a man... 273 00:11:55,336 --> 00:11:57,875 you'd liquor him up, stuff him in a duffel bag and 274 00:11:58,128 --> 00:12:00,626 mail him to the kaiser. 275 00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:03,780 I'll try my way first. 276 00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:05,557 Of course you will. 277 00:12:06,134 --> 00:12:07,491 Sodomite! 278 00:12:16,034 --> 00:12:19,034 I thought it was important for you to see a nice side of me. 279 00:12:19,225 --> 00:12:22,579 A bad person would never enjoy hobbies like this. 280 00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,589 Obviously, Arnich caught the mistake... 281 00:12:33,614 --> 00:12:35,479 and Byron got fired. 282 00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:37,218 I wish I had a puppy to give him. 283 00:12:37,364 --> 00:12:38,839 Good morning. 284 00:12:39,254 --> 00:12:40,362 Hi Andy. 285 00:12:42,284 --> 00:12:44,815 God, he's taken it so hard. 286 00:12:45,194 --> 00:12:47,394 Should I try to comfort him? 287 00:12:48,794 --> 00:12:50,138 Come here... 288 00:12:55,605 --> 00:12:57,716 Your arms are very powerful. 289 00:12:58,184 --> 00:13:00,099 Please, just enjoy them. 290 00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:02,745 Byron? 291 00:13:02,933 --> 00:13:03,733 YeS? 292 00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:05,450 Are you okay? 293 00:13:05,988 --> 00:13:06,788 Yes. 294 00:13:07,416 --> 00:13:08,751 You're crying... 295 00:13:09,104 --> 00:13:10,284 Yes. 296 00:13:10,633 --> 00:13:14,190 You know, sometimes bad things happen... 297 00:13:14,324 --> 00:13:16,876 - and when they do-- - My girlfriend left me. 298 00:13:17,114 --> 00:13:17,809 What? 299 00:13:17,834 --> 00:13:19,474 This morning. She left. 300 00:13:19,704 --> 00:13:22,345 After two... years. 301 00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:25,219 - She said that she didn't-- - That's why you're crying? 302 00:13:25,244 --> 00:13:25,939 Yes. 303 00:13:25,964 --> 00:13:28,653 - She said that she didn't-- - Arnich didn't call from upstairs? 304 00:13:28,754 --> 00:13:29,347 No. 305 00:13:29,414 --> 00:13:31,004 - That she didn't-- - This is impossible. 306 00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:33,134 Arnich checks our work every night. 307 00:13:33,314 --> 00:13:35,809 How could he not find such a huge mistake? 308 00:13:35,833 --> 00:13:38,653 She said that she didn't love me anymore. 309 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:46,050 What do you mean this is impossible? 310 00:13:47,834 --> 00:13:48,833 What? 311 00:13:48,914 --> 00:13:50,294 You said this is impossible. 312 00:13:51,139 --> 00:13:52,160 Uh... 313 00:13:52,184 --> 00:13:54,185 I'm just really surprised, 'cause... 314 00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:57,017 You two seemed really good together. 315 00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,093 You... you never saw us together. 316 00:14:01,124 --> 00:14:04,039 Byron where you or were you not good together? 317 00:14:04,554 --> 00:14:05,504 We were. 318 00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:08,472 - Then why are you fighting me? - I'm so sorry! 319 00:14:08,609 --> 00:14:10,609 [sobs] 320 00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:14,692 So Arnich really didn't catch the mistake? 321 00:14:14,924 --> 00:14:16,000 No. 322 00:14:17,241 --> 00:14:19,428 I can't believe I'm workin' this hard. 323 00:14:19,544 --> 00:14:21,352 What if no one catches it? 324 00:14:22,283 --> 00:14:24,291 Well, they have to. 325 00:14:25,036 --> 00:14:26,996 What if they don't? 326 00:14:32,894 --> 00:14:36,752 Then I will have ruined America's war fighting potential. 327 00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:44,234 And possibly destroyed a city of mer-people. 328 00:14:44,780 --> 00:14:46,821 You could dedicate your life to the creation of a world 329 00:14:46,845 --> 00:14:48,979 where a torpedo would never be fired in anger. 330 00:14:49,004 --> 00:14:51,342 And that pays like nothing. 331 00:14:51,587 --> 00:14:55,248 [doorbell rings] Should I tell Arnich? 332 00:14:56,534 --> 00:14:58,754 You'd lose your job. 333 00:15:01,304 --> 00:15:02,358 Hi. 334 00:15:02,954 --> 00:15:05,268 I hope you don't mind, I invited Byron to dinner. 335 00:15:05,324 --> 00:15:08,998 I figured to be a good idea for us all to get to know each other. 336 00:15:11,174 --> 00:15:11,974 Hi. 337 00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:14,701 We decided to eat in. 338 00:15:14,954 --> 00:15:18,344 At first I was distant not wanting to get too attached. 339 00:15:30,825 --> 00:15:33,824 The problem was, Byron was a good guy... 340 00:15:34,214 --> 00:15:36,987 and the four of us had a nice evening together. 341 00:15:41,954 --> 00:15:44,242 We played folk songs. 342 00:15:46,039 --> 00:15:48,060 Wrestled. 343 00:15:54,874 --> 00:15:59,877 Wrote letters for Amnesty International on behalf of political prisoners. 344 00:16:09,259 --> 00:16:12,614 Then we all hugged each other goodbye. 345 00:16:13,214 --> 00:16:15,289 All right, none of this really happened 346 00:16:15,314 --> 00:16:18,403 But we did have Chinese food, and we all like Byron. 347 00:16:19,034 --> 00:16:21,244 And I felt awful. 348 00:16:23,022 --> 00:16:26,282 The next day, I wore a puppy-lined jacket to work. 349 00:16:26,306 --> 00:16:30,532 Would a bad person encase themselves in puppies like this? 350 00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:32,308 I think not. 351 00:16:34,804 --> 00:16:38,158 Actually, the next day I was sitting alone in my office... 352 00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:40,073 [Wendy] Hi, Andy. 353 00:16:40,307 --> 00:16:44,408 ♪♪ [Pat Benatar's "We Belong" plays] 354 00:16:52,784 --> 00:16:54,784 [music abruptly stops] 355 00:16:54,883 --> 00:16:56,883 This came for you. 356 00:16:57,944 --> 00:16:59,453 Thanks. 357 00:17:02,924 --> 00:17:04,789 So, uh, how's it going? 358 00:17:04,814 --> 00:17:05,557 Fine. 359 00:17:05,624 --> 00:17:07,714 I really like working here, and... 360 00:17:07,784 --> 00:17:10,849 Chicago's great-- there's so much to see and do... 361 00:17:10,874 --> 00:17:12,949 Well, it is the "windy city." 362 00:17:12,974 --> 00:17:15,225 A total non-sequitur. 363 00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:19,127 Unless I meant she can see and do things involving wind. 364 00:17:19,424 --> 00:17:20,772 I guess. 365 00:17:22,904 --> 00:17:25,508 - I slept with-- - Do you like puppies? 366 00:17:27,524 --> 00:17:29,795 We can talk about your thing first. 367 00:17:30,464 --> 00:17:32,674 It's just that I'm new in town, and I didn't know anybody... 368 00:17:32,698 --> 00:17:34,790 and Keith seemed like a really nice guy. 369 00:17:34,815 --> 00:17:37,969 But now, he hasn't called, and I know you're his friend, and I just... 370 00:17:37,994 --> 00:17:40,729 wanted to ask you if he's a jerk. He's a jerk, right? 371 00:17:40,754 --> 00:17:41,839 And I was stupid. 372 00:17:41,864 --> 00:17:42,998 Really stupid. 373 00:17:43,034 --> 00:17:45,303 Stupid stupid stupid. 374 00:17:48,564 --> 00:17:49,879 So you're thing... 375 00:17:49,904 --> 00:17:53,096 Puppies, yeah. I think they're great! 376 00:17:56,054 --> 00:17:57,578 Wendy, wait. 377 00:17:59,864 --> 00:18:01,670 I just want you to know that... 378 00:18:01,754 --> 00:18:03,739 Keith is not a bad guy. 379 00:18:03,764 --> 00:18:06,214 He's just... you know, he's... 380 00:18:06,284 --> 00:18:07,973 good looking. 381 00:18:07,998 --> 00:18:09,030 Meaning what? 382 00:18:09,203 --> 00:18:12,304 Meaning... things just come to him. 383 00:18:12,584 --> 00:18:13,936 Easily. 384 00:18:14,984 --> 00:18:16,934 You, you know how it is. 385 00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:18,809 I know how it is? 386 00:18:19,184 --> 00:18:20,975 What are you saying, that I'm good looking 387 00:18:20,999 --> 00:18:23,945 and so I automatically get whatever I want? 388 00:18:24,614 --> 00:18:26,260 You're upset. 389 00:18:26,744 --> 00:18:28,144 But remember it's... 390 00:18:28,694 --> 00:18:31,211 Keith. Keith is the one. Keith. 391 00:18:31,574 --> 00:18:34,502 Andy, most guys won't even talk to me. 392 00:18:34,694 --> 00:18:35,494 Please. 393 00:18:35,986 --> 00:18:37,246 You won't. 394 00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,131 I'm shy. 395 00:18:39,824 --> 00:18:41,377 It's endearing. 396 00:18:42,444 --> 00:18:44,629 All right. All right. You're right, 397 00:18:44,654 --> 00:18:46,035 I'm a bigot. 398 00:18:46,304 --> 00:18:48,563 I assume things about the attractive 399 00:18:48,606 --> 00:18:50,359 that I shouldn't, like... 400 00:18:50,384 --> 00:18:52,459 they get whatever they want, or... 401 00:18:52,484 --> 00:18:55,039 their females wouldn't be interested in me. 402 00:18:55,964 --> 00:18:58,194 But that's wrong, and I'm sorry. 403 00:18:59,144 --> 00:19:00,794 Thank you. 404 00:19:01,973 --> 00:19:04,902 You're a good guy. You should talk to me more. 405 00:19:07,183 --> 00:19:08,877 Nicely done. 406 00:19:09,154 --> 00:19:11,914 Your destroying the career of an innocent man 407 00:19:11,949 --> 00:19:15,166 and you're well on your way to mounting the floozy. 408 00:19:15,254 --> 00:19:17,627 She is not a floozy. She's a nice girl. 409 00:19:17,725 --> 00:19:18,860 Right. 410 00:19:18,884 --> 00:19:21,836 And your a "good guy." 411 00:19:22,154 --> 00:19:23,281 No? 412 00:19:23,803 --> 00:19:26,777 You're very much like me. 413 00:19:27,195 --> 00:19:28,418 Eww. 414 00:19:28,774 --> 00:19:30,508 Except you're weak. 415 00:19:30,614 --> 00:19:31,924 And fat. 416 00:19:35,410 --> 00:19:37,051 Arnich Ardway. 417 00:19:37,334 --> 00:19:39,135 I was hoping you wouldn't have to meet him, but... 418 00:19:39,214 --> 00:19:40,762 here we are. 419 00:19:41,204 --> 00:19:44,336 See this thing is supposed to be connected to the gyroscope 420 00:19:44,534 --> 00:19:47,471 but I connected it to this thing it looks like a crock pot. 421 00:19:48,115 --> 00:19:49,522 You changed the schematics. 422 00:19:49,604 --> 00:19:50,830 Yes. 423 00:19:51,284 --> 00:19:52,539 Intentionally. 424 00:19:52,874 --> 00:19:55,352 If it helps me keep my job then, no. 425 00:19:55,454 --> 00:19:57,948 I was walking by them with a pencil, wearing my new 426 00:19:57,972 --> 00:20:00,049 - banana peel shoes-- - You've never... 427 00:20:00,074 --> 00:20:01,670 taken this job seriously. 428 00:20:01,736 --> 00:20:03,692 I'm still good at it. 429 00:20:03,816 --> 00:20:05,355 Arnich-- I got your message. 430 00:20:05,380 --> 00:20:08,296 Just give us the drawings, and will go correct them. 431 00:20:08,330 --> 00:20:09,870 Yeah, um... 432 00:20:10,049 --> 00:20:11,355 I decided to go another way-- 433 00:20:11,380 --> 00:20:13,005 I'm gonna to get Andy fired instead. 434 00:20:13,030 --> 00:20:15,142 Oh, no question, he definitely deserves that. 435 00:20:15,167 --> 00:20:15,825 Hey! 436 00:20:15,850 --> 00:20:17,440 But Arnich, if you report Andy... 437 00:20:17,464 --> 00:20:19,810 then I'll report that you missed this huge 438 00:20:19,810 --> 00:20:21,843 obvious mistake until he pointed it out 439 00:20:21,867 --> 00:20:24,957 and that's gonna make you look really, really bad. 440 00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:26,876 - Oh! - Hmmm? 441 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,493 [chuckles] 442 00:20:28,517 --> 00:20:29,640 I woulda caught it. 443 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:30,705 But you didn't. 444 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:31,530 But I would have. 445 00:20:31,570 --> 00:20:32,546 But you didn't 446 00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:33,345 But I would have. 447 00:20:33,370 --> 00:20:34,667 But you didn't. 448 00:20:36,550 --> 00:20:38,473 You're doin' great. Go on. 449 00:20:38,590 --> 00:20:39,957 Arnich... 450 00:20:40,420 --> 00:20:42,035 You signed off on them. 451 00:20:42,060 --> 00:20:43,575 No, I didn't. 452 00:20:47,381 --> 00:20:50,042 Can I just... see those? For a second? 453 00:20:50,238 --> 00:20:52,679 No, I'm gonna keep 'em instead. 454 00:20:52,704 --> 00:20:56,230 Don't ever assign anyone to my department again 455 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:58,623 without telling me about it. 456 00:20:59,646 --> 00:21:03,936 Yeah! And we need a new coffee maker, 'cause-- 457 00:21:04,510 --> 00:21:08,949 Jessica great. Strong, forgiving-- she'd do anything for a friend. 458 00:21:09,057 --> 00:21:12,062 And Byron... A good artist. Easy to hang with. 459 00:21:12,088 --> 00:21:16,176 And Keith.. Attractive on the outside, and on the inside. 460 00:21:16,570 --> 00:21:20,928 And Wendy... She wants me to talk to her more, and she's so pretty. 461 00:21:20,953 --> 00:21:23,551 All good well-meaning individuals. 462 00:21:23,655 --> 00:21:28,726 And together... we're a group of galactic time fighters. 463 00:21:28,752 --> 00:21:31,743 [whoosh!] ♪♪ [heroic music] 464 00:21:31,768 --> 00:21:34,935 All right, I don't have a big finish. 465 00:21:35,170 --> 00:21:38,383 Because most events in life Don't have a big finish. 466 00:21:38,590 --> 00:21:40,158 I got to keep my job. 467 00:21:40,232 --> 00:21:43,829 I realized I have good friends, and I did what was right. 468 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:45,795 Oh, and one more thing... 469 00:21:45,820 --> 00:21:49,767 You'll think it's corny, but I'd never lie to you, so here it is. 470 00:21:50,716 --> 00:21:53,449 I got Byron an electric pencil sharpener. 471 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,270 Don't make a big deal out of it... 472 00:21:55,295 --> 00:21:57,403 I stole it out of Arnich's office. 473 00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:02,725 {\an8}♪♪ [theme music]