1
00:00:54,140 --> 00:00:55,580
Hey, Timmy, get me a hot dog.

2
00:01:14,980 --> 00:01:17,900
Hey, Dave.
I like your Dukes of H.azzard T-shirt.

3
00:01:18,060 --> 00:01:20,340
Well, thanks, Sara.
I like your CH.iPs T-shirt.

4
00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:22,660
-Thanks.
-Fun party, huh?

5
00:01:22,820 --> 00:01:25,260
Yeah. Except for Arnie Shankman
being here.

6
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:28,460
Wedgie! Wedgie! Wedgie!

7
00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:32,180
I feel bad for him with his sister
losing her mind and all.

8
00:01:35,380 --> 00:01:36,420
Whatever.

9
00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:39,620
You know what we should do?
Play Truth or Dare.

10
00:01:39,860 --> 00:01:42,060
-You want to?
-Sure.

11
00:01:42,260 --> 00:01:44,900
Okay, l'll go first. Truth or dare?

12
00:01:45,420 --> 00:01:46,340
Truth.

13
00:01:47,060 --> 00:01:48,740
Have you ever kissed a girl before?

14
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,420
-Well, l--
-Family doesn't count.

15
00:01:51,580 --> 00:01:54,420
-Maybe l'll take dare.
-Okay.

16
00:01:55,220 --> 00:01:56,460
I dare you to kiss me.

17
00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:58,540
Right here?

18
00:01:58,740 --> 00:02:02,380
Yeah. I want everyone to see
that your first kiss is with me.

19
00:02:27,700 --> 00:02:30,860
Got any mustard for that cocktail frank,
butt-lick?

20
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:44,500
-David Buznik.
-Ijust landed in St. Louis.

21
00:02:44,660 --> 00:02:48,060
-I hope you wrote my speech.
-I did, sir. I pulled an all nighter.

22
00:02:48,340 --> 00:02:51,100
I look forward to this, Mr. Head.
Never been to St. Louis.

23
00:02:51,340 --> 00:02:53,900
Thank you for allowing me
to come on this trip--

24
00:02:56,140 --> 00:02:58,060
Yeah. Yeah. Okay, that sounds great.

25
00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:00,860
If we finish our work,
l'd love to go to a jazz club.

26
00:03:01,020 --> 00:03:01,980
Terrific.

27
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,100
-He hung up on you again, didn't he?
-Yes. Yes, he did.

28
00:03:05,340 --> 00:03:08,780
He's a jerk. You came up with the idea
for the Husky Cat clothing line.

29
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:11,660
He didn't say thank you.
He should give you a promotion.

30
00:03:11,820 --> 00:03:14,700
There's a creative executive position
that just opened up, so....

31
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:17,900
Bring that up on the trip.
You gotta stick up for yourself.

32
00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:20,140
I know. I'll figure something out.

33
00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:23,300
I gotta go. Sorry.

34
00:03:23,460 --> 00:03:26,260
I'm gonna miss you.

35
00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:28,940
That guy's looking at us.

36
00:03:29,140 --> 00:03:31,660
You know l don't like it when people
watch me kiss.

37
00:03:31,860 --> 00:03:32,940
I'm sorry.

38
00:03:34,140 --> 00:03:35,340
Take care.

39
00:03:36,380 --> 00:03:38,420
Okay. Bye.

40
00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:41,100
Dave....

41
00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:45,300
-Have a good flight.
-Okay.

42
00:03:53,820 --> 00:03:54,860
I'm sorry.

43
00:04:02,780 --> 00:04:04,660
I think you're in my seat.

44
00:04:05,460 --> 00:04:08,940
Come on, pal. I'm already settled in
here. Can't you sit somewhere else?

45
00:04:09,780 --> 00:04:12,260
You're supposed to sit in the seat
they assigned you.

46
00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:15,260
Nobody cares. Just sit in the seat
l'm supposed to sit in.

47
00:04:17,940 --> 00:04:20,820
Excuse me. This seat's available.

48
00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:26,180
Okay. Thank you.

49
00:04:27,380 --> 00:04:28,820
You're very welcome.

50
00:04:32,020 --> 00:04:33,260
No air.

51
00:04:34,260 --> 00:04:35,700
That's too bad, huh?

52
00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:48,820
You're on my side of the armrest.

53
00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:51,060
We're not gonna have problems,
are we?

54
00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:52,660
No.

55
00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:26,260
I'm wetting my Jockeys here.

56
00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:34,980
You gotta get a load of this, keed.

57
00:05:35,140 --> 00:05:36,900
I mean, you like comedies?

58
00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:41,300
I just haven't been sleeping a lot
lately so l was trying to catch some....

59
00:05:47,780 --> 00:05:49,740
Look at this actress here.

60
00:05:50,740 --> 00:05:54,420
What is your position
on breast implants?

61
00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:57,140
This guy.

62
00:05:57,300 --> 00:05:59,740
I can just watch the movie with you.

63
00:06:00,820 --> 00:06:01,780
Excuse me.

64
00:06:01,940 --> 00:06:04,060
-Could l get a headset?
-Certainly.

65
00:06:04,380 --> 00:06:05,420
Thank you.

66
00:06:10,260 --> 00:06:12,580
Probably make out
with my next boyfriend.

67
00:06:16,140 --> 00:06:17,860
Oh, my God, it was disgusting.

68
00:06:19,020 --> 00:06:19,980
Miss?

69
00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:22,140
I'll be right there, sir.

70
00:06:23,420 --> 00:06:24,940
Where's your headset?

71
00:06:25,540 --> 00:06:28,340
She's busy right now, but it's coming.

72
00:06:28,940 --> 00:06:33,020
For crying out loud. You're missing
important plot points.

73
00:06:35,780 --> 00:06:37,380
Ma'am?

74
00:06:37,620 --> 00:06:39,540
Could you give me a second, sir?

75
00:06:49,620 --> 00:06:50,780
Excuse me.

76
00:06:51,140 --> 00:06:53,220
Could l maybe get that headset,
please?

77
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:56,820
-Do not raise your voice to me, sir.
-I wasn't raising my voice.

78
00:06:56,980 --> 00:06:58,020
Just calm down.

79
00:06:58,180 --> 00:06:59,980
I am calm. I just want my headset.

80
00:07:00,140 --> 00:07:02,660
Our country is going through
a difficult time now.

81
00:07:02,820 --> 00:07:04,300
If you won't cooperate--

82
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:07,380
I don't know where a headset
ties into patriotism.

83
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:09,500
Is there a problem here, sir?

84
00:07:10,540 --> 00:07:11,660
I don't think so.

85
00:07:11,820 --> 00:07:14,660
Can you come to the back with me
so we can have a talk?

86
00:07:14,820 --> 00:07:16,820
A talk about what? There's not a
problem.

87
00:07:16,980 --> 00:07:19,500
-The stewardess just keeps--
-Flight attendant.

88
00:07:19,820 --> 00:07:21,980
The flight attendant keeps
ignoring me when--

89
00:07:22,140 --> 00:07:23,140
Calm down.

90
00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:25,180
I am calm.
What is it with you people?

91
00:07:25,740 --> 00:07:26,900
"You people"?

92
00:07:27,260 --> 00:07:28,620
Now wait a minute.

93
00:07:28,780 --> 00:07:31,260
I don't mean you people.
I mean you people.

94
00:07:31,420 --> 00:07:34,140
I will not tolerate any racist
behavior on the plane.

95
00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:36,380
This is a difficult time
for our country.

96
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:39,100
I'm not a racist.
I just want to watch the movie.

97
00:07:39,260 --> 00:07:42,700
I'm only going to say this
one more time, sir. Calm down.

98
00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:43,900
I'm calm!

99
00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:52,500
All rise.

100
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:58,420
-What do you think?
-Not guilty. It's a no-brainer.

101
00:07:58,580 --> 00:08:04,820
Mr. Buznik. In case 723, assault and
battery against a flight attendant...

102
00:08:05,580 --> 00:08:06,660
...l find you guilty.

103
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:12,100
I'm ordering you to pay a fine
of $3500.

104
00:08:12,260 --> 00:08:13,380
Thank God you're okay.

105
00:08:13,540 --> 00:08:16,260
In addition, to prevent
further acts of rage...

106
00:08:16,420 --> 00:08:21,300
...this court orders you to undergo 20
hours of anger management therapy.

107
00:08:22,540 --> 00:08:24,020
Anger management?

108
00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:37,620
Oh, my goodness. Bobby Knight.

109
00:08:37,940 --> 00:08:40,660
-You're in this group?
-Oh, yeah. This is my first day.

110
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:44,140
-It's my first day also.
-I hope this class cures me.

111
00:08:44,340 --> 00:08:45,900
Working on the anger problem?

112
00:08:46,460 --> 00:08:49,180
Anger? lsn't this
Sexaholics Anonymous?

113
00:08:51,020 --> 00:08:53,380
No. I think that's down the hall.

114
00:08:53,580 --> 00:08:56,620
Well, the hell with this!
l'm going home!

115
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,300
Dr. Rydell?

116
00:09:22,620 --> 00:09:24,700
You don't remember me, do you?

117
00:09:25,140 --> 00:09:30,140
-I sat next to you on the plane.
-Oh, yeah, the headset guy.

118
00:09:30,860 --> 00:09:33,260
-Good to see you again.
-Good to see you too.

119
00:09:33,460 --> 00:09:34,620
That was a crazy flight.

120
00:09:34,780 --> 00:09:38,260
They actually sentenced me
to anger management for that.

121
00:09:38,420 --> 00:09:39,540
Really?

122
00:09:39,740 --> 00:09:41,140
Wow.

123
00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:43,740
This is incredible.
You could sign this for me...

124
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:46,780
...and tell them l don't have
an anger problem if you want.

125
00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:50,860
I can't just sign your papers.

126
00:09:51,020 --> 00:09:53,100
I didn't do anything wrong.
You know that.

127
00:09:54,780 --> 00:09:55,860
All right.

128
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,540
How's this?

129
00:09:58,740 --> 00:10:00,100
Just hang for one session...

130
00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:03,700
...so l can at least say
l gave you a proper analysis.

131
00:10:03,860 --> 00:10:06,740
-Then l'll sign your papers.
-Okay.

132
00:10:08,620 --> 00:10:10,660
-Shall we?
-Oh, yes. Yes.

133
00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:10,980
So my boss, he was talking to me
about how many sick days l've taken.

134
00:10:10,980 --> 00:10:14,620
So my boss, he was talking to me
about how many sick days l've taken.

135
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,940
And l was like, you know,
"Don't go there."

136
00:10:17,220 --> 00:10:20,740
But he kept on about wanting to see
a doctor's note or something.

137
00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:24,460
And l said, "Look, l'm seriously
serious. You don't want to go there."

138
00:10:24,740 --> 00:10:27,940
But he kept talking and talking,
being such a nag...

139
00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:30,420
...and then l just blacked out.

140
00:10:30,580 --> 00:10:31,660
I blacked out.

141
00:10:31,860 --> 00:10:35,300
And when l woke up, l was standing
over him and l was screaming:

142
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:39,980
"l told you not to go there!
l told you not to go there!"

143
00:10:41,780 --> 00:10:43,980
How do you feel you
handled that situation?

144
00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:46,740
Not as well as l could've.

145
00:10:46,900 --> 00:10:51,980
Remember, Lou, temper's the one
thing you can't get rid of by losing it.

146
00:10:54,380 --> 00:10:57,420
Now, Fury Fighters, let's say hello
to someone...

147
00:10:57,580 --> 00:11:01,580
...who's joining our quest to get
the anger monkeys off our backs:

148
00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:03,740
-Dave.
-Hi, Dave.

149
00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:04,860
Hi.

150
00:11:05,580 --> 00:11:09,060
Good news, l fed my anger monkey
a banana this morning...

151
00:11:09,220 --> 00:11:10,740
...and he's feeling much better.

152
00:11:13,260 --> 00:11:16,540
More good news, you won't have to
listen to those lame jokes...

153
00:11:16,700 --> 00:11:18,660
...because l'm only here
for one session.

154
00:11:18,820 --> 00:11:22,900
Dave assaulted a female
flight attendant in midair.

155
00:11:23,660 --> 00:11:26,340
-Nice.
-I bet you beat her good.

156
00:11:26,780 --> 00:11:29,820
I didn't beat anybody.
I touched a woman.

157
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,940
Liar. Bullshitter.
You're a woman beater.

158
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:34,860
You can't admit it because you're
a piece of garbage.

159
00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:39,220
I don't know about all that,
but now l understand why you're here.

160
00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:43,140
I'm here because l was verbally
attacked by my neighbor.

161
00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:45,660
And l took a dump on his porch.

162
00:11:46,020 --> 00:11:49,420
I guess you're better than me.
That's why you can't cop to your rage.

163
00:11:49,620 --> 00:11:51,180
You're superior. He's superior.

164
00:11:51,340 --> 00:11:55,180
-Maybe Dave's not ready yet, Chuck.
-You're not ready. Hear what he said?

165
00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:57,740
Let's introduce Dave
to some of the rest of us.

166
00:11:57,900 --> 00:12:00,620
Girls, why don't you tell Dave
what brought you here.

167
00:12:00,780 --> 00:12:04,420
I'm sure he'd love to listen
to what you guys have to say.

168
00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:05,940
We always do.

169
00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:09,380
-Come on, Dave. Join us.
-Okay.

170
00:12:12,020 --> 00:12:15,060
Okay. Well, we're
in the adult film industry.

171
00:12:15,220 --> 00:12:16,340
And we're lovers.

172
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:19,380
One day, Gina was having sex
with this Filipino guy Melo...

173
00:12:19,540 --> 00:12:22,460
-...which was cool, it was in the script.
-Sure.

174
00:12:22,620 --> 00:12:25,020
And then l asked Melo
back to the house with us...

175
00:12:25,180 --> 00:12:28,500
...which is cool, because,
well, we like a little variety.

176
00:12:28,860 --> 00:12:30,300
Variety's good.

177
00:12:30,980 --> 00:12:32,980
So anyway, in the middle
of our session...

178
00:12:33,140 --> 00:12:36,020
...l look up and l see Gina
kissing Melo on the mouth...

179
00:12:36,180 --> 00:12:39,580
...which is not cool because it
violates our threesome code of ethics.

180
00:12:39,740 --> 00:12:41,980
-Stacy bit my toe off.
-Then Melo freaks out...

181
00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:45,540
-...and calls me a crazy skank.
-Nobody talks to my bitch that way.

182
00:12:45,700 --> 00:12:47,820
-So l stapled his lips shut.
-Here we are.

183
00:12:49,460 --> 00:12:51,820
Well, we've all been there.

184
00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:55,900
-I like him.
-Yeah, he's funny.

185
00:12:56,180 --> 00:12:57,460
Not as funny as you.

186
00:13:00,220 --> 00:13:01,420
I like that.

187
00:13:03,420 --> 00:13:06,740
-All right, girls.
-Let it go. Let it go a little bit longer.

188
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,140
Walk it off.

189
00:13:10,740 --> 00:13:14,700
Nate. Didn't we decide that you
shouldn't listen to the ball game?

190
00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:18,220
Don't worry, Dr. B, it's just a regular
season game. Not important.

191
00:13:18,420 --> 00:13:20,060
H.e missed the lay-up!

192
00:13:20,260 --> 00:13:23,380
See? lverson just missed a lay-up
at the buzzer, Sixers lose.

193
00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:24,980
Who gives a crap, huh?

194
00:13:25,140 --> 00:13:27,300
I mean, it's just a silly game, anyways.

195
00:13:31,860 --> 00:13:34,700
The anger sharks are swimming
in my head.

196
00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:36,580
You gotta dunk that shit!

197
00:13:36,740 --> 00:13:38,820
You gotta dunk that shit!

198
00:13:38,980 --> 00:13:40,780
Listen to me. Stay with me, Nate.

199
00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:42,820
Now, repeat after me, Nate:

200
00:13:42,980 --> 00:13:45,100
Goosfraba.

201
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:47,060
Goos blah blah.

202
00:13:47,220 --> 00:13:49,620
Not "blah blah," Nate.

203
00:13:49,940 --> 00:13:52,220
Goosfraba.

204
00:13:52,820 --> 00:13:54,860
Goosfraba.

205
00:13:55,060 --> 00:13:56,700
That's good. Slower.

206
00:13:56,860 --> 00:14:00,460
Goosfraba.

207
00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:01,740
How do you feel?

208
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:03,260
Better.

209
00:14:05,940 --> 00:14:07,340
Good job, Nate.

210
00:14:07,540 --> 00:14:10,060
That sound is a derivation
of an old Eskimo word...

211
00:14:10,260 --> 00:14:12,500
...that mothers used to calm
their children.

212
00:14:12,660 --> 00:14:14,660
-I see.
-Eskimos seem nice.

213
00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:17,500
-They do.
-I think Eskimos are smug.

214
00:14:17,660 --> 00:14:19,060
Hold that thought, Chuck.

215
00:14:19,660 --> 00:14:21,140
So, Dave...

216
00:14:21,700 --> 00:14:23,060
...tell us about yourself.

217
00:14:23,220 --> 00:14:24,180
Who are you?

218
00:14:24,660 --> 00:14:27,420
Well, l am an executive assistant...

219
00:14:27,580 --> 00:14:29,820
...at a major pet products company.

220
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:34,740
I don't want you to tell us what you do.
I want you to tell us who you are.

221
00:14:35,380 --> 00:14:36,780
All right.

222
00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:39,820
I'm a pretty good guy.

223
00:14:40,340 --> 00:14:42,780
I like playing tennis on occasion....

224
00:14:43,060 --> 00:14:46,060
Also, not your hobbies, Dave,
just simple:

225
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:47,700
Tell us who you are.

226
00:14:48,940 --> 00:14:50,220
I just....

227
00:14:51,380 --> 00:14:55,380
Maybe you could give me an example
of what a good answer would be.

228
00:14:55,540 --> 00:14:56,620
What did you say?

229
00:14:57,660 --> 00:14:59,980
You want Lou to tell you who you are?

230
00:15:02,180 --> 00:15:03,740
No, l just....

231
00:15:06,060 --> 00:15:08,780
I'm a nice, easygoing man.

232
00:15:09,620 --> 00:15:12,060
I might be a little bit
indecisive at times.

233
00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:15,460
Dave, you're describing
your personality.

234
00:15:15,620 --> 00:15:16,900
I want to know...

235
00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:20,660
-...who you are.
-What the hell do you want me to say?

236
00:15:25,780 --> 00:15:29,060
I mean, l'm sorry. I just....
I want to answer your question.

237
00:15:29,260 --> 00:15:32,220
I'm just not doing it right, l guess.

238
00:15:32,380 --> 00:15:36,020
I think we're getting a picture, Dave.

239
00:15:36,180 --> 00:15:39,020
-Let's move on.
-Dr. Rydell, l'd like to know something.

240
00:15:39,180 --> 00:15:41,260
Why is it that Chuck
thinks he can smoke?

241
00:15:41,420 --> 00:15:44,860
I do whatever l want when l want,
you little Spanish fruit topping.

242
00:15:45,540 --> 00:15:47,780
Honey, at least l didn't
make my aunt pregnant.

243
00:15:51,580 --> 00:15:53,340
What are you laughing at, Dave?

244
00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:57,980
Just laughing. I don't know.
I'm not laughing at you.

245
00:15:58,140 --> 00:16:01,220
Were you laughing with me?
Because l'm not laughing.

246
00:16:02,180 --> 00:16:04,420
Am l out of line,
or is this guy pushing me?

247
00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:07,060
Well, how do you feel, Chuck?

248
00:16:07,260 --> 00:16:11,100
I went from happy to angry, skipped
sad. Now l feel like kicking his ass.

249
00:16:11,460 --> 00:16:12,900
Then we'll see who's laughing.

250
00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:16,380
What? Think you're better than me
because you've got both your nuts?

251
00:16:17,140 --> 00:16:20,620
All right, man. All right. Come on.
Come on, big boy. Pretty boy.

252
00:16:22,060 --> 00:16:26,180
All right. Is it worth going back
to the penitentiary, Chuck?

253
00:16:26,340 --> 00:16:29,420
-So he's laughing at you.
-I'm not laughing at him.

254
00:16:34,340 --> 00:16:35,660
Goosfraba.

255
00:16:39,700 --> 00:16:42,460
-Goosfraba.
-Okay.

256
00:16:43,620 --> 00:16:46,100
Good job, Chuck.
That was really good.

257
00:16:48,020 --> 00:16:49,180
Where's the coffee cake?
l was looking forward to it.

258
00:16:49,180 --> 00:16:50,580
Where's the coffee cake?
l was looking forward to it.

259
00:16:50,740 --> 00:16:53,380
I haven't been to the Actors Studio
in quite some time.

260
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:56,340
-I'm sure your audition will go well.
-Thanks. I hope so.

261
00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:57,620
-Good night.
-All right.

262
00:16:57,780 --> 00:16:59,020
-Thanks, Buddy.
-Bye-bye.

263
00:16:59,180 --> 00:17:01,260
That was a little bit insane.

264
00:17:01,540 --> 00:17:04,580
If l had to do 20 hours of that,
l'd end up killing myself.

265
00:17:04,740 --> 00:17:05,700
Here you go.

266
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:08,700
Twenty hours in my class
would be pointless for you.

267
00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:10,060
I agree.

268
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:13,660
I think l'm going to recommend
to the court that we double your time.

269
00:17:14,260 --> 00:17:15,420
What do you mean?

270
00:17:15,580 --> 00:17:17,100
Let me explain something.

271
00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:20,900
There are two kinds of angry people:
explosive and implosive.

272
00:17:21,260 --> 00:17:24,940
Explosive is the kind of individual that
you see screaming at the cashier...

273
00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:26,860
...for not taking their coupons.

274
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:31,620
Implosive is the cashier
who remains quiet, day after day...

275
00:17:31,820 --> 00:17:35,140
...and finally shoots everyone
in the store.

276
00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:36,820
You're the cashier.

277
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:41,740
No. I'm the guy hiding in the frozen
food section dialing 91 1 , l swear.

278
00:17:41,980 --> 00:17:43,940
I'm going to assign you an anger ally...

279
00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:46,500
...to help calm you down
when you're losing it.

280
00:17:46,780 --> 00:17:47,740
Chuck.

281
00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:50,620
Not Chuck. Give me Bobby Knight,
or the porno girls.

282
00:17:50,780 --> 00:17:52,500
Heard we're partnering up, huh?

283
00:17:52,820 --> 00:17:54,220
-Yes.
-Here's my number.

284
00:17:54,420 --> 00:17:56,860
Great. "You're going to die, bitch."

285
00:17:57,260 --> 00:17:59,820
Oops, that's a letter l'm writing
to Geraldo Rivera.

286
00:18:00,020 --> 00:18:01,500
-I see.
-My bad. Here.

287
00:18:01,740 --> 00:18:03,980
That's the number. Good. Thank you.

288
00:18:05,820 --> 00:18:08,340
Dave and Chuck...

289
00:18:09,540 --> 00:18:12,620
...working together as a team.

290
00:18:13,140 --> 00:18:17,140
-It's a win-win situation.
-Yeah, feels it.

291
00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:19,060
Dave's particulars.

292
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:21,060
I'll see you soon.

293
00:18:28,380 --> 00:18:30,420
The Yanks are great this season.

294
00:18:30,580 --> 00:18:32,940
Dave thinks they could beat Seattle's
win record.

295
00:18:33,140 --> 00:18:36,340
Remember at Brown when we
saw Ron Guidry win his 20th?

296
00:18:36,540 --> 00:18:38,260
Oh, man. He was on fire that year.

297
00:18:38,460 --> 00:18:39,540
We could've been too.

298
00:18:39,740 --> 00:18:42,860
Andrew, don't start or l can't
hang out with you anymore.

299
00:18:43,060 --> 00:18:46,020
Sorry, it's just hard. I'll never meet
anyone as good as you.

300
00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:48,780
You will. She'll be a very lucky lady.

301
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,420
Thanks for being my best friend.

302
00:18:53,220 --> 00:18:54,380
Linda.

303
00:18:54,540 --> 00:18:56,620
-Hey, Dave.
-Andrew.

304
00:18:56,820 --> 00:18:58,300
Good to see you guys hugging.

305
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:00,980
How was the doctor?

306
00:19:01,660 --> 00:19:03,060
Psychotic.

307
00:19:03,260 --> 00:19:06,700
Well, did you get any good
promotion news from Mr. Head?

308
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:09,660
I wasn't able to talk to him
about that yet, but l will.

309
00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:13,820
Not that crowded here.
You'd think it would be packed.

310
00:19:13,980 --> 00:19:17,940
I rented the place. I figured it'd be
more fun if it was just Brown alumni.

311
00:19:18,140 --> 00:19:20,340
Where'd you go to college again?

312
00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:22,140
Trenton Community College.

313
00:19:24,220 --> 00:19:27,340
You had a hard day.
Let me buy you a milk shake.

314
00:19:28,060 --> 00:19:29,140
Later, Andrew.

315
00:19:29,340 --> 00:19:32,340
--once you cast your line in,
so during retrieval...

316
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:35,340
...it'll help you to create a realistic
and a erratic....

317
00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:38,780
Hey, Dave.

318
00:19:39,020 --> 00:19:42,540
-Hey. Andrew, what's up?
-Not much.

319
00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:45,180
You always try to simulate live bait.

320
00:19:45,420 --> 00:19:49,740
Okay, they got fishing while you
go to the bathroom. That's nice.

321
00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:51,980
Yep. Bass fishing.
Hey, he caught one.

322
00:19:52,780 --> 00:19:54,460
Be aware ofyour presentation...

323
00:19:54,620 --> 00:19:58,220
...and make sure that,
as you work it along....

324
00:19:58,580 --> 00:19:59,660
Oh, yeah.

325
00:20:02,420 --> 00:20:03,700
Congratulations.

326
00:20:03,860 --> 00:20:06,460
Now that is a big one, folks.

327
00:20:12,180 --> 00:20:13,980
Always a blast being with your friends.

328
00:20:14,140 --> 00:20:15,540
It was a great night.

329
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:17,620
Yankees winning, beer and hot dogs.

330
00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:20,820
Yeah, you like those foot-long
hot dogs, don't you?

331
00:20:21,940 --> 00:20:26,540
So l saw your boy Andrew
at the urinal.

332
00:20:26,940 --> 00:20:28,300
Saw his...

333
00:20:28,940 --> 00:20:31,020
-...thing.
-You were looking?

334
00:20:31,220 --> 00:20:32,940
Yeah, unfortunately.

335
00:20:33,140 --> 00:20:37,460
So, now, did this guy grow up near
a nuclear power plant or something?

336
00:20:37,780 --> 00:20:39,300
What are you talking about?

337
00:20:39,460 --> 00:20:43,700
Never really seen nothing like that
before. Didn't it used to scare you?

338
00:20:43,860 --> 00:20:44,780
I never saw it.

339
00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:46,700
You never saw it?

340
00:20:46,980 --> 00:20:50,340
No, l told you, l never slept with him.
Why, is it huge?

341
00:20:50,980 --> 00:20:52,620
No. No. No. No.

342
00:20:52,820 --> 00:20:56,140
It's actually quite petite.

343
00:20:56,420 --> 00:20:58,260
I felt bad for him.

344
00:20:58,740 --> 00:21:01,940
It looked like it belonged on a baby
and it had a funny color.

345
00:21:03,140 --> 00:21:05,620
I bet he got a lot of snickers
in the locker room.

346
00:21:05,860 --> 00:21:07,700
Like, "What the hell's that thing?"

347
00:21:07,860 --> 00:21:11,060
When you're in a locker room,
you must feel good about yourself.

348
00:21:11,220 --> 00:21:15,820
I do. If there are 20 naked guys
in there, l'm usually in the top 1 8.

349
00:21:16,140 --> 00:21:18,500
-Which isn't bad.
-You're doing really good.

350
00:21:18,660 --> 00:21:19,940
Thanks.

351
00:21:23,940 --> 00:21:27,220
-Who's that?
-I don't know. Let me get rid of them.

352
00:21:28,820 --> 00:21:31,820
-Hello?
-Dave, it's me, Chuck.

353
00:21:32,340 --> 00:21:34,460
-Who's Chuck?
-Your anger ally.

354
00:21:34,620 --> 00:21:36,420
I'm in a mood, Dave. A bad mood.

355
00:21:36,660 --> 00:21:37,940
A very bad mood.

356
00:21:38,100 --> 00:21:41,500
I was fired from my ice-cream truck job
today. No more Fudgeicles.

357
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:44,300
-What's an anger ally?
-Who's that?

358
00:21:44,660 --> 00:21:45,660
She making fun of me?

359
00:21:46,740 --> 00:21:48,820
No. That's my girlfriend.

360
00:21:48,980 --> 00:21:52,940
You tell her to put a sock in it because
l need to talk to you right now!

361
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:55,260
We're a little busy right now.

362
00:21:55,460 --> 00:21:57,420
You're busy? We're all busy, okay?

363
00:21:57,780 --> 00:22:01,100
You come down here before
a black wolf swallows my brain!

364
00:22:10,420 --> 00:22:13,620
After l got kicked out of the Army,
l went through a real bad time:

365
00:22:13,780 --> 00:22:18,180
Hookers, booze, shooting holes in the
ceiling, screaming myself to sleep.

366
00:22:18,900 --> 00:22:21,220
Finally, my parents said l
had to move out.

367
00:22:22,020 --> 00:22:25,100
I'm guessing that's when you decided
to shack up with your aunt.

368
00:22:25,620 --> 00:22:27,340
Don't get cute, wiseass!

369
00:22:28,020 --> 00:22:28,980
But, yes.

370
00:22:30,580 --> 00:22:32,540
What's with the watch, huh?
Am l boring you?

371
00:22:32,700 --> 00:22:37,380
We ordered the drinks 1 5 minutes ago
and l kind of gotta get back.

372
00:22:38,060 --> 00:22:39,460
Miss? Excuse me, miss?

373
00:22:39,660 --> 00:22:42,340
Is this Slow And Stupid Waitress Day?

374
00:22:42,500 --> 00:22:44,500
I'm sorry. I be right with you.

375
00:22:44,860 --> 00:22:47,980
Damn, man, reminds me
of these chicks back in the war.

376
00:22:48,180 --> 00:22:50,940
Would give you the old licky-licky,
then fry your banana.

377
00:22:51,140 --> 00:22:52,100
Settle.

378
00:22:52,260 --> 00:22:56,540
I have seen some shit, man.
I kid you not, l have seen some shit.

379
00:22:57,780 --> 00:23:01,500
Wake up to the sound
of kids screaming.

380
00:23:01,900 --> 00:23:03,580
Explosions everywhere.

381
00:23:04,860 --> 00:23:06,660
Never know when your number's up.

382
00:23:06,860 --> 00:23:08,500
Vietnam, huh?

383
00:23:10,140 --> 00:23:12,460
-Grenada, man.
-Grenada?

384
00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:15,420
Wasn't that like 1 2 hours long?

385
00:23:20,020 --> 00:23:20,980
Did you see that?

386
00:23:21,460 --> 00:23:25,100
-See what?
-That guy. He just gave me a look.

387
00:23:26,740 --> 00:23:27,980
He didn't give you a look.

388
00:23:28,180 --> 00:23:31,980
And l'm pretty sure l heard him mutter
some kind of anti-Semitic remark.

389
00:23:33,140 --> 00:23:34,340
Are you Jewish?

390
00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:38,100
I could be. But, no. Half lrish,
half ltalian, half Mexican.

391
00:23:39,740 --> 00:23:41,700
Let's go give those guys some tsuris.

392
00:23:42,300 --> 00:23:44,740
Well, the guy on the left is blind,
Chuck.

393
00:23:44,980 --> 00:23:46,660
I hear you.

394
00:23:47,060 --> 00:23:48,020
He's yours.

395
00:23:48,420 --> 00:23:50,100
No. That's not what l was saying.

396
00:23:51,580 --> 00:23:52,580
-Hey.
-What the hell?

397
00:23:52,740 --> 00:23:54,340
Got something against guys
with hair?

398
00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:55,460
What's going on?

399
00:24:01,420 --> 00:24:02,940
Don't! Stop it! Stop!

400
00:24:03,100 --> 00:24:05,140
Stop! Goosfraba!

401
00:24:05,300 --> 00:24:06,260
You piece of shit!

402
00:24:13,940 --> 00:24:15,780
Stop it! Stop it!

403
00:24:19,580 --> 00:24:20,980
Welcome back, Mr. Buznik.

404
00:24:21,540 --> 00:24:25,100
I see you've managed to brutalize
a cocktail waitress this time.

405
00:24:25,700 --> 00:24:29,020
I guess beating up stewardesses
can get old after a while.

406
00:24:29,220 --> 00:24:31,220
Flight attendant, Your Honor.

407
00:24:31,540 --> 00:24:34,380
I didn't hit her on purpose,
Your Honor.

408
00:24:34,580 --> 00:24:36,540
I was being attacked by someone...

409
00:24:36,740 --> 00:24:39,220
...and while l was
trying to take away his....

410
00:24:39,420 --> 00:24:40,820
His....

411
00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:43,540
Trying to take away my cane,
Your Honor.

412
00:24:44,980 --> 00:24:47,660
You cracked a waitress in the face...

413
00:24:47,860 --> 00:24:50,420
...while attempting to steal
a blind man's cane?

414
00:24:50,900 --> 00:24:54,420
Your Honor, we're not even sure
how blind this man really is.

415
00:25:00,540 --> 00:25:02,620
Okay. My bad. Moving on.

416
00:25:02,940 --> 00:25:04,940
Happy now, ass-wipe?

417
00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:08,420
Mr. Buznik, l don't know
why you hate women.

418
00:25:08,660 --> 00:25:10,220
Maybe you don't know either...

419
00:25:10,420 --> 00:25:15,220
...but l'll let you think about it while
you spend one year in a state prison.

420
00:25:15,460 --> 00:25:17,780
-Isn't that a bit harsh, Your Honor?
-No!

421
00:25:18,420 --> 00:25:19,380
Okay.

422
00:25:22,740 --> 00:25:26,220
-May l approach, Your Honor?
-By all means, Dr. Rydell.

423
00:25:26,420 --> 00:25:27,380
Thank you.

424
00:25:36,500 --> 00:25:38,540
-It's been a while.
-Yes, it has.

425
00:25:38,740 --> 00:25:41,260
-You look marvelous, Brenda.
-Thank you.

426
00:25:41,460 --> 00:25:43,060
-And how are the boys?
-Fantastic.

427
00:25:43,220 --> 00:25:46,020
James made the basketball team,
Raheem landed the lead...

428
00:25:46,180 --> 00:25:47,620
...in Fiddler on the Roof.

429
00:25:47,780 --> 00:25:51,220
Raheem will make
a breathtaking Tevye, l'm sure.

430
00:25:51,860 --> 00:25:55,580
So do you have a take
on this Buznik guy?

431
00:25:55,780 --> 00:25:57,420
Is this good or bad?

432
00:25:57,980 --> 00:26:00,460
Well, it's bad that he's
talking to her...

433
00:26:00,660 --> 00:26:02,220
...but it's good that....

434
00:26:03,540 --> 00:26:06,060
No, it's bad. It's all bad.

435
00:26:06,500 --> 00:26:09,820
-You think you can help him?
-I think so, Your Honor.

436
00:26:10,100 --> 00:26:14,860
If l can't, l'll tear him apart
with my bare hands.

437
00:26:22,420 --> 00:26:23,380
Mr. Buznik...

438
00:26:23,580 --> 00:26:26,900
...because of the enormous respect
l have for Dr. Rydell...

439
00:26:27,060 --> 00:26:29,940
...l'm placing you in his intensive
anger management program...

440
00:26:30,100 --> 00:26:31,340
...for 30 days.

441
00:26:31,740 --> 00:26:35,620
But if you fail to strictly adhere
to the rules of his program...

442
00:26:35,780 --> 00:26:38,580
...you will spend the next year
in state prison.

443
00:26:51,300 --> 00:26:53,700
-Buddy?
-Good evening. Ready to get it on?

444
00:26:53,900 --> 00:26:55,460
Get what on?
What are you doing here?

445
00:26:55,620 --> 00:26:56,980
Well, well, well.

446
00:26:57,140 --> 00:26:58,460
The lair of the rage rhino.

447
00:26:58,660 --> 00:27:01,460
I smell the effluvium
of pain and frustration.

448
00:27:01,660 --> 00:27:03,780
-Where should we put my stuff?
-What stuff?

449
00:27:04,180 --> 00:27:06,540
We've got 30 days
to control your anger.

450
00:27:06,740 --> 00:27:09,220
My approach dictates
intense observation.

451
00:27:09,460 --> 00:27:12,140
What better vantage point
than bunkmates?

452
00:27:12,860 --> 00:27:14,940
Put that there, Dan,
thank you very much.

453
00:27:15,140 --> 00:27:20,140
No. No. I'm sorry. Guys, l don't think
you should be moving in with me.

454
00:27:20,380 --> 00:27:21,500
Sit down, Dave.

455
00:27:23,860 --> 00:27:25,660
Let's be perfectly clear about this.

456
00:27:25,980 --> 00:27:28,020
You've been deemed
a threat to society.

457
00:27:28,220 --> 00:27:30,460
I believe that radical,
round-the-clock therapy...

458
00:27:30,620 --> 00:27:33,580
...is the only way to effect
a meaningful and positive change...

459
00:27:33,780 --> 00:27:34,780
...in your behavior.

460
00:27:35,020 --> 00:27:36,980
Now we can do it here
or Rikers lsland.

461
00:27:37,180 --> 00:27:39,380
-Anything else, Dr. B?
-No thanks, Dan.

462
00:27:39,580 --> 00:27:41,820
We'll install the wiretaps tomorrow.

463
00:27:42,020 --> 00:27:42,980
Wiretaps?

464
00:27:43,220 --> 00:27:45,540
-Is this your CD collection?
-Yes.

465
00:27:46,420 --> 00:27:47,620
Oh, my.

466
00:27:49,460 --> 00:27:50,940
What are you doing?

467
00:27:51,100 --> 00:27:54,180
I don't want you listening
to any angry music.

468
00:27:54,340 --> 00:27:56,060
The Carpenters are angry?
l mean....

469
00:27:57,140 --> 00:27:58,620
Don't be naive, Dave.

470
00:27:58,940 --> 00:28:01,820
"Close to You."
"We've Only Just Begun."

471
00:28:02,020 --> 00:28:04,620
Songs of madness and obsession.

472
00:28:05,820 --> 00:28:07,500
Who's going to pay for that?

473
00:28:07,700 --> 00:28:12,460
Retard your anger level a few notches
and listen to me. Can you do that?

474
00:28:12,860 --> 00:28:15,540
Yeah. It's retarded. I'm retarded.

475
00:28:16,540 --> 00:28:17,660
Good.

476
00:28:17,820 --> 00:28:21,340
Now then, we need to go over
some ground rules.

477
00:28:24,060 --> 00:28:26,060
My girlfriend got me that.

478
00:28:27,940 --> 00:28:31,020
You're to refrain from violent acts
including verbal assault...

479
00:28:31,180 --> 00:28:32,540
...and vulgar hand gestures.

480
00:28:32,740 --> 00:28:35,340
You may not use rage-enhancing
substances...

481
00:28:35,540 --> 00:28:39,100
...such as caffeine, nicotine, alcohol,
crack cocaine...

482
00:28:39,300 --> 00:28:41,780
...Slippy-Flippies, Jelly Stingers,
Trick Sticks...

483
00:28:41,940 --> 00:28:43,660
...Bing Bangs or Flying Willards.

484
00:28:43,860 --> 00:28:46,460
-How about Fiddle Faddles?
-Under my supervision.

485
00:28:46,900 --> 00:28:49,540
Also, if you are unable
to stop masturbating...

486
00:28:49,700 --> 00:28:53,020
...please do so without the use
of any pornographic images...

487
00:28:53,220 --> 00:28:56,700
...depicting quote-unquote
"angry sex."

488
00:28:56,900 --> 00:29:00,220
That having been said,
l'm a pretty good guy...

489
00:29:00,380 --> 00:29:02,260
...and l think you'll be
pleasantly surprised...

490
00:29:02,420 --> 00:29:04,260
...at how much fun we can have.

491
00:29:04,420 --> 00:29:08,620
Jeez, without Slippy-Flippies or angry
masturbating? How is that possible?

492
00:29:08,780 --> 00:29:12,780
Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin.
From now on, unacceptable.

493
00:29:13,660 --> 00:29:15,460
Dave, l got this for you.

494
00:29:15,700 --> 00:29:18,100
It's a wonderfully therapeutic tool.

495
00:29:18,300 --> 00:29:20,980
Record your thoughts on this
whenever you feel angry.

496
00:29:22,260 --> 00:29:24,380
I'm feeling very angry right now...

497
00:29:24,540 --> 00:29:27,500
...because l only have one bed
and no couch.

498
00:29:27,700 --> 00:29:29,020
Not a problem.

499
00:29:31,380 --> 00:29:36,460
In Europe, it's not considered unusual
for three or four men to share a bed.

500
00:29:36,820 --> 00:29:39,980
Yeah, well, that's why l'm
proud to be an American.

501
00:29:42,260 --> 00:29:43,500
By the way....

502
00:29:48,980 --> 00:29:51,020
I like to sleep in the nude.

503
00:30:26,100 --> 00:30:27,660
You hear that frog?

504
00:30:28,340 --> 00:30:29,260
Nope.

505
00:30:46,420 --> 00:30:47,340
What do you want?

506
00:30:47,540 --> 00:30:50,220
I'm just recording your demeanor
upon awakening.

507
00:30:51,420 --> 00:30:54,260
Good to see you got your underwear
back on.

508
00:30:54,900 --> 00:30:55,940
6:30?

509
00:30:56,180 --> 00:30:57,940
I don't gotta be up till 7.

510
00:30:58,140 --> 00:30:59,820
You've got to make my breakfast.

511
00:31:00,980 --> 00:31:03,980
Dave, cooking is very relaxing
and therapeutic.

512
00:31:04,500 --> 00:31:07,740
I want two eggs,
over easy and unfertilized...

513
00:31:07,940 --> 00:31:10,180
...wheat toast, dry, and please...

514
00:31:10,340 --> 00:31:11,940
...tell me you've got ketchup.

515
00:31:12,180 --> 00:31:14,100
There's a Denny's down the street.

516
00:31:14,300 --> 00:31:15,620
Not only do they have ketchup...

517
00:31:15,780 --> 00:31:18,220
...but they got the angriest waitresses
l've seen.

518
00:31:18,420 --> 00:31:21,580
You could have a blast with
the goosfraba thing down there.

519
00:31:21,940 --> 00:31:22,900
Lame-o.

520
00:31:44,220 --> 00:31:45,220
Your eggs.

521
00:31:53,780 --> 00:31:57,260
-Holy shit!
-I said over easy! !

522
00:32:02,420 --> 00:32:03,740
Now, why did l do that?

523
00:32:04,340 --> 00:32:07,180
Because l refused to spoon with you
last night?

524
00:32:08,980 --> 00:32:12,700
The angry man opens his mouth
and shuts his eyes.

525
00:32:14,260 --> 00:32:15,420
Alpha-Bits.

526
00:32:15,700 --> 00:32:19,780
No matter how old l get,
always a culinary delight.

527
00:32:20,020 --> 00:32:23,380
No explanation for the egg throwing.
He's a psycho.

528
00:32:23,860 --> 00:32:27,060
Don't sulk, Dave. Eat. Sit down.

529
00:32:27,380 --> 00:32:29,100
We'll be off to work in a jiffy.

530
00:32:30,260 --> 00:32:34,860
"We'll be off to work." Now, by "we'll,"
l assume you mean just me, right?

531
00:32:35,060 --> 00:32:37,460
Well, l have to join you at work.

532
00:32:37,660 --> 00:32:38,860
Full contact.

533
00:32:39,380 --> 00:32:42,740
That will make me look nuts, Buddy,
bringing a shrink to work...

534
00:32:42,940 --> 00:32:45,140
...you whipping eggs at people.
I don't know.

535
00:32:45,380 --> 00:32:49,220
You must never be ashamed that you
sought help for yourself, Dave.

536
00:32:49,420 --> 00:32:50,900
It's not a weakness.

537
00:32:53,620 --> 00:32:55,460
I mean, l gotta be there by 9:00.

538
00:32:55,660 --> 00:32:58,580
I don't think we'll make it on time.
You're not even dressed.

539
00:32:58,740 --> 00:33:01,620
The Talmud says:
"Wherever you look...

540
00:33:02,580 --> 00:33:04,500
...there's something to be seen."

541
00:33:05,340 --> 00:33:06,580
Look, Dave.

542
00:33:18,380 --> 00:33:21,140
-What exactly was that all about?
-What?

543
00:33:21,300 --> 00:33:24,820
You just ran through a red light.
Are you trying to get us both killed?

544
00:33:24,980 --> 00:33:28,660
I'm a little flustered right now.
I have to be to work in eight minutes.

545
00:33:29,260 --> 00:33:30,180
Flustered?

546
00:33:33,220 --> 00:33:35,980
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, man!

547
00:33:36,260 --> 00:33:39,980
-Holy shit! What are you doing?
-I need you to unfluster.

548
00:33:40,500 --> 00:33:43,620
My boss is going to go nuts on me
if we're late, so please?

549
00:33:43,780 --> 00:33:46,060
We will proceed when you
are centered.

550
00:33:46,220 --> 00:33:47,500
I'm centered, l'm centered.

551
00:33:47,700 --> 00:33:50,380
There's 1 0,000 people behind us.
Let's go, crazy man.

552
00:33:52,940 --> 00:33:55,420
What is that? ls that good?

553
00:33:55,820 --> 00:33:57,340
We're going to sing a song.

554
00:33:57,780 --> 00:34:01,420
No. I don't want to sing a song.
I want to go to.... I've gotta go.

555
00:34:01,620 --> 00:34:02,700
Here we go.

556
00:34:02,900 --> 00:34:06,460
The magic of Leonard Bernstein
and Stephen Sondheim's...

557
00:34:06,660 --> 00:34:09,140
... West Side Story.

558
00:34:10,740 --> 00:34:12,260
"l Feel Pretty."

559
00:34:13,300 --> 00:34:15,500
Get this moving.
What the hell's your problem?

560
00:34:15,700 --> 00:34:18,140
Shut your pie-hole!
We're working here!

561
00:34:18,580 --> 00:34:19,740
Wow. Sorry.

562
00:35:15,060 --> 00:35:16,860
Move your ass, dipshit!

563
00:35:27,220 --> 00:35:28,340
Burn in hell!

564
00:35:43,020 --> 00:35:44,140
Yes!

565
00:35:47,740 --> 00:35:49,620
You feel stunning.

566
00:35:49,820 --> 00:35:51,540
And entrancing.

567
00:36:09,140 --> 00:36:10,860
You're late.

568
00:36:11,060 --> 00:36:14,340
Yes. There was a little bit
of a tie up on the bridge.

569
00:36:14,500 --> 00:36:17,380
I didn't ask for a traffic report.
You're always late.

570
00:36:17,540 --> 00:36:20,820
Now is the first time l've been late.
But you're right. I'm sorry.

571
00:36:20,980 --> 00:36:22,180
May l interject?

572
00:36:22,540 --> 00:36:25,860
You were about to say something else
before you said, "l'm sorry."

573
00:36:26,020 --> 00:36:27,940
We mustn't absorb and repress.

574
00:36:28,100 --> 00:36:31,740
-Who's this?
-I'm his anger management therapist.

575
00:36:32,340 --> 00:36:34,060
You're in anger management?

576
00:36:35,540 --> 00:36:37,860
Temporarily, yeah.

577
00:36:38,180 --> 00:36:41,100
Do you remember the flight
to St. Louis...

578
00:36:41,300 --> 00:36:44,460
...that l was on when they had to
turn the plane around?

579
00:36:44,620 --> 00:36:47,300
Yeah, yeah. Because of that unruly
passenger in coach.

580
00:36:47,460 --> 00:36:48,900
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

581
00:36:49,060 --> 00:36:51,220
He doesn't like people
touching his clubs.

582
00:36:53,340 --> 00:36:56,220
Well, that unruly passenger was me.

583
00:36:56,380 --> 00:37:00,700
I got arrested at Kennedy. That's why
l didn't make the next flight.

584
00:37:01,300 --> 00:37:03,420
You said your apartment caught fire.

585
00:37:03,580 --> 00:37:06,660
Dissembling is a common tool
of the anger junkie.

586
00:37:07,780 --> 00:37:11,220
Might l have your first name,
Mr. Head? And tell me it isn't Dick.

587
00:37:12,900 --> 00:37:15,460
-It's Frank.
-Fran.

588
00:37:16,180 --> 00:37:18,340
Isn't that normally a girl's name?

589
00:37:19,140 --> 00:37:20,660
What went on on that flight?

590
00:37:21,060 --> 00:37:23,860
To be honest with you,
it was a mix-up. I....

591
00:37:24,100 --> 00:37:26,380
Jibber jabber. Jibber jabbering.
Mumbo jumbo.

592
00:37:26,540 --> 00:37:28,900
Denial. Key, key, key, key, key, key.

593
00:37:29,100 --> 00:37:32,260
Fran, your assistant beat the bejesus
out of a flight attendant.

594
00:37:32,420 --> 00:37:34,060
-I didn't.
-You broke her nose.

595
00:37:34,220 --> 00:37:36,180
I broke the cocktail waitress's nose.

596
00:37:37,620 --> 00:37:40,140
I mean, l accidentally did that.

597
00:37:40,300 --> 00:37:42,220
Dave, you have a disease.

598
00:37:42,420 --> 00:37:46,020
Would you apologize if you
were a diabetic? Of course not.

599
00:37:46,180 --> 00:37:50,100
Why do you feel you have to apologize
because you're suffering from T.A.S.?

600
00:37:51,140 --> 00:37:52,100
T.A.S.?

601
00:37:52,260 --> 00:37:53,900
Toxic Anger Syndrome.

602
00:37:55,300 --> 00:37:56,620
I don't have T.A.S.

603
00:37:56,780 --> 00:37:59,780
He's angry. It's a sickness,
not a crime, Fran.

604
00:37:59,940 --> 00:38:01,380
His name is Frank!

605
00:38:05,380 --> 00:38:07,700
No. I'm sorry.

606
00:38:19,540 --> 00:38:22,060
Clothes for cats
isn't really a new idea...

607
00:38:22,220 --> 00:38:25,740
...but there was never really a line
made for overweight cats...

608
00:38:25,900 --> 00:38:28,700
...who might feel a little
self-conscious...

609
00:38:28,860 --> 00:38:30,860
...about how they look
in certain outfits.

610
00:38:31,060 --> 00:38:34,180
That's why l got the baggy sweater
on him, to cover up his gut.

611
00:38:34,340 --> 00:38:37,060
And the beret to take attention
off his plump head.

612
00:38:37,220 --> 00:38:41,060
Oh, little Meatball.
You tie this up tight...

613
00:38:41,220 --> 00:38:43,460
...and away goes the chin.

614
00:38:43,620 --> 00:38:45,260
I'm so handsome.

615
00:38:48,340 --> 00:38:51,980
-Hey, Dave. This is your office?
-Andrew.

616
00:38:52,140 --> 00:38:54,620
-What are you doing here?
-I played golf with Frank.

617
00:38:54,980 --> 00:38:58,140
He's friends with my dad. We're
members of the same country club.

618
00:38:58,300 --> 00:39:01,220
Really? l've been wanting to play golf
with him a long time.

619
00:39:01,380 --> 00:39:03,260
-Is it awesome there?
-It's nice.

620
00:39:07,940 --> 00:39:10,980
So, anyway, Dave, how's
anger management going?

621
00:39:11,940 --> 00:39:13,260
Who told you about that?

622
00:39:13,420 --> 00:39:15,900
Linda's my best friend.
There's no secrets between us.

623
00:39:16,060 --> 00:39:19,540
For the love of Mike!
This guy's your girl's best friend?

624
00:39:19,780 --> 00:39:22,500
No. I mean, l like to consider myself
her best friend...

625
00:39:22,700 --> 00:39:27,300
...but Andrew is her best friend friend,
if that makes any sense.

626
00:39:27,460 --> 00:39:30,460
You ought to golf yourself.
You look a little stressed out.

627
00:39:32,420 --> 00:39:33,860
I gotta go. Bye.

628
00:39:37,860 --> 00:39:39,180
Well, well, well.

629
00:39:39,460 --> 00:39:41,580
This guy's got quite a basket on him.

630
00:39:41,780 --> 00:39:43,820
Really? l didn't notice that.

631
00:39:44,180 --> 00:39:47,460
Do you really want the love of your life
hanging around with a guy...

632
00:39:47,660 --> 00:39:51,060
...who looks as though he could satisfy
a blue whale?

633
00:39:51,540 --> 00:39:54,420
Well, it's....
I'm doing okay myself, pal.

634
00:39:54,740 --> 00:39:57,140
Maybe it's the way his pants fit him.

635
00:39:58,980 --> 00:40:00,020
What's up?

636
00:40:01,460 --> 00:40:03,940
-This is your young lady?
-That's my Linda.

637
00:40:04,100 --> 00:40:06,100
My, oh, my.

638
00:40:07,140 --> 00:40:10,420
I was toying with the notion
that you were gay...

639
00:40:10,580 --> 00:40:12,860
...because of the kitty-cat clothes,
so forth.

640
00:40:13,820 --> 00:40:14,940
What does she do?

641
00:40:15,420 --> 00:40:19,140
She teaches poetry. Poetry teacher.

642
00:40:19,460 --> 00:40:21,220
I love poetry.

643
00:40:23,220 --> 00:40:25,860
Oh, my, my, my. It's....

644
00:40:26,340 --> 00:40:28,900
Yes, it's a good picture of her.

645
00:40:32,020 --> 00:40:35,620
Well, apparently Dr. Rydell has a
history of unorthodox techniques.

646
00:40:35,780 --> 00:40:37,540
He's got a dozen lawsuits pending.

647
00:40:37,700 --> 00:40:40,140
So it's not just me.
This guy is nuts, isn't he?

648
00:40:40,340 --> 00:40:41,300
Or a genius.

649
00:40:41,460 --> 00:40:46,700
But if you could prove that he's nuts:
audiotape, video, picture, whatever...

650
00:40:46,900 --> 00:40:48,380
...l'll arrange a hearing.

651
00:40:50,780 --> 00:40:52,540
I gotta go. I think he's coming.

652
00:41:00,220 --> 00:41:01,420
Hi, Nancy.

653
00:41:01,620 --> 00:41:03,420
What are you doing
in the ladies' room?

654
00:41:04,020 --> 00:41:07,980
Sorry. I just heard you guys
got cleaner seats than us.

655
00:41:08,620 --> 00:41:10,540
Not after l get through with them.

656
00:41:13,620 --> 00:41:17,500
I don't care for the way you've
ironed my shirts, Dave. Try it again.

657
00:41:17,660 --> 00:41:21,540
-I've been very patient with you.
-Beware the fury of the patient man.

658
00:41:21,740 --> 00:41:24,220
-I'm serious!
-Too serious.

659
00:41:24,420 --> 00:41:25,860
Get undressed.

660
00:41:26,420 --> 00:41:27,980
What did you say?

661
00:41:29,340 --> 00:41:30,380
Take off your clothes.

662
00:41:30,580 --> 00:41:33,020
I've got a stress-reduction technique
to show you.

663
00:41:33,180 --> 00:41:35,980
-It'll be good for you.
-Take off my clothes?

664
00:41:36,180 --> 00:41:38,300
Do you want to see me naked, Buddy?

665
00:41:40,660 --> 00:41:42,220
Are you a homophobe, Dave?

666
00:41:42,420 --> 00:41:47,340
No, l'm a pulling-my-penis-out-
in-front-of-you-a-phobe.

667
00:41:48,420 --> 00:41:51,180
Let's take a walk on the wild side.

668
00:42:04,340 --> 00:42:05,980
-What's up, baby?
-Why are we here?

669
00:42:06,140 --> 00:42:07,460
I'm not a homophobe.

670
00:42:07,620 --> 00:42:10,260
My lawyer's gay. His boyfriend is gay.

671
00:42:10,420 --> 00:42:12,820
And are they all aware
that you despise them?

672
00:42:13,260 --> 00:42:15,220
Looking for company, baby?

673
00:42:15,380 --> 00:42:17,140
No. We're not. Thank you.

674
00:42:17,300 --> 00:42:18,900
It's worth 50 bucks...

675
00:42:19,060 --> 00:42:23,660
...if you get in the back seat with
my friend here and have a little chat.

676
00:42:23,820 --> 00:42:25,460
My pleasure, Mr. Eyebrows.

677
00:42:27,500 --> 00:42:29,140
Oh, boy, here we go.

678
00:42:32,140 --> 00:42:34,580
-Hello.
-Hey. Good to see you.

679
00:42:35,620 --> 00:42:38,500
-What's your name, baby?
-Melvin.

680
00:42:38,660 --> 00:42:41,140
His name is David. Don't dissemble.

681
00:42:41,300 --> 00:42:44,580
I'm not dissembling.
That's my Hebrew name.

682
00:42:44,740 --> 00:42:47,940
I'm Galaxia. That's my German name.

683
00:42:48,140 --> 00:42:49,380
Great.

684
00:42:49,540 --> 00:42:52,620
Where are you from originally,
Hebrew Melvin?

685
00:42:52,820 --> 00:42:53,860
Brooklyn.

686
00:42:54,340 --> 00:42:57,260
What part of Germany
do you hail from?

687
00:42:57,460 --> 00:43:01,860
I'm from a little Bavarian village
called Lickin Zee Dickin.

688
00:43:02,020 --> 00:43:02,980
Care to visit?

689
00:43:03,500 --> 00:43:07,500
Actually, l like to spend
most of my time...

690
00:43:07,660 --> 00:43:09,940
...in Girls Without Wieners-ville.

691
00:43:10,340 --> 00:43:12,180
I'm more comfortable there.

692
00:43:14,820 --> 00:43:17,300
He's just not used to male intimacy.

693
00:43:17,620 --> 00:43:20,620
Well, that's okay, because l'm a lady.

694
00:43:20,900 --> 00:43:22,260
Oops, no, l'm not.

695
00:43:22,420 --> 00:43:23,420
Whoa! There it is.

696
00:43:24,340 --> 00:43:27,020
I feel like dancing. Dancing.

697
00:43:28,740 --> 00:43:29,700
Oh, my God.

698
00:43:30,260 --> 00:43:32,820
What does this have to do
with anger management?

699
00:43:32,980 --> 00:43:36,460
-Oh, are you an angry boy?
-No.

700
00:43:36,620 --> 00:43:38,100
Do you need some discipline?

701
00:43:38,300 --> 00:43:39,460
No, thank you very--

702
00:43:39,620 --> 00:43:41,620
Oh! Hey! Hey, watch that shit!

703
00:43:41,860 --> 00:43:44,980
Listen, ladies! Gentleman! Lentleman!

704
00:43:45,140 --> 00:43:48,140
I'm not having sex with a she-male!
Relax!

705
00:43:48,340 --> 00:43:50,700
Galaxia, you may
get out of the car now.

706
00:43:50,900 --> 00:43:53,380
Your services are no longer required.

707
00:43:54,740 --> 00:43:55,940
You know what?

708
00:43:56,340 --> 00:43:57,940
You guys are freaks.

709
00:44:00,580 --> 00:44:02,060
Give me the tape recorder.

710
00:44:04,580 --> 00:44:05,700
Come on.

711
00:44:08,340 --> 00:44:10,660
Patient number 1 35, David Buznik...

712
00:44:10,820 --> 00:44:14,420
...has learned the difference between
unhealthy anger and righteous anger.

713
00:44:14,580 --> 00:44:18,940
Thus he has advanced
to the second level of my program.

714
00:44:19,140 --> 00:44:21,420
Great. Can l go throw up now?

715
00:44:26,740 --> 00:44:28,940
I'm a lady. Oops, no, l'm not.

716
00:44:29,100 --> 00:44:31,700
-Whoa, there it is.
-I feel like dancing.

717
00:44:31,940 --> 00:44:34,980
Wasn't that sick?
She looked like Olivia Newton-John...

718
00:44:35,140 --> 00:44:38,820
...if she was really ugly
and had huge balls.

719
00:44:38,980 --> 00:44:41,540
But Buddy didn't order you
to have sex.

720
00:44:41,700 --> 00:44:43,460
I'm getting a call. Please hang on.

721
00:44:43,980 --> 00:44:46,180
-Hello?
-Is Buddy there ?

722
00:44:46,860 --> 00:44:48,900
No, he's in the shower right now.

723
00:44:49,100 --> 00:44:50,660
This is Becky, his assistant.

724
00:44:50,820 --> 00:44:52,900
Just tell him his mom called
from Boston.

725
00:44:53,100 --> 00:44:55,940
She said she's having
some minor surgery.

726
00:44:56,140 --> 00:45:01,100
It's not serious, but she'll be at Boston
County H.ospital for the next two days.

727
00:45:12,500 --> 00:45:16,940
Miracles of modern science.
I am stimulating my hair follicles...

728
00:45:17,100 --> 00:45:19,180
...and brushing my teeth
at the same time.

729
00:45:19,860 --> 00:45:21,660
It looks really good.

730
00:45:24,660 --> 00:45:25,620
What's the matter?

731
00:45:25,940 --> 00:45:29,420
Your mom. They took her
to the hospital, Buddy.

732
00:45:30,020 --> 00:45:31,420
What's wrong with my mother?

733
00:45:31,580 --> 00:45:34,380
She's having surgery.

734
00:45:34,540 --> 00:45:35,540
I'm sorry.

735
00:45:35,700 --> 00:45:39,220
-Is it serious?
-When is surgery not serious?

736
00:45:39,540 --> 00:45:41,820
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're right.

737
00:45:42,020 --> 00:45:44,820
Maybe l better get up to Boston...

738
00:45:44,980 --> 00:45:47,860
...see what's going on up there.

739
00:45:48,020 --> 00:45:51,340
Yeah. Yeah.
Why don't you just go up there.

740
00:45:51,700 --> 00:45:54,540
Spend some quality time. I'll stay here.

741
00:45:54,700 --> 00:45:56,260
It'll be good for you guys.

742
00:45:56,420 --> 00:45:57,780
Oh, God.

743
00:46:02,660 --> 00:46:06,220
You're all l got, Mom.
Please don't leave me.

744
00:46:11,660 --> 00:46:14,340
No more clam chowder.

745
00:46:16,660 --> 00:46:17,620
Buddy...

746
00:46:17,780 --> 00:46:19,220
...it was a joke.

747
00:46:19,820 --> 00:46:22,300
I'm sorry.
You don't have to cry anymore.

748
00:46:24,180 --> 00:46:26,060
-A joke?
-Yeah.

749
00:46:26,260 --> 00:46:27,780
Oh, boy.

750
00:46:28,020 --> 00:46:30,620
A joke. A jo-- I....

751
00:46:30,820 --> 00:46:33,060
I can't believe that l fell for that one.

752
00:46:35,140 --> 00:46:37,740
I really thought my mother
was having surgery.

753
00:46:39,220 --> 00:46:41,500
I'm going to get you back for that one.

754
00:46:45,380 --> 00:46:48,420
Just so you know,
she really is having surgery.

755
00:46:51,140 --> 00:46:53,260
I thought you said you were joking.

756
00:46:53,460 --> 00:46:55,500
No, the serious part was the joke.

757
00:46:55,700 --> 00:46:58,860
She's having surgery,
but just minor surgery.

758
00:46:59,780 --> 00:47:03,020
Maybe l better get up to Boston...

759
00:47:03,220 --> 00:47:06,260
...see what's really going on up there.

760
00:47:06,420 --> 00:47:09,900
Why don't you--? You just
shoot up there. I'll be here.

761
00:47:13,940 --> 00:47:14,860
What?

762
00:47:15,260 --> 00:47:18,700
-I can't believe he's making me go.
-How come you guys aren't flying?

763
00:47:18,900 --> 00:47:22,780
Because Dr. Cocoa Puff said legally
l'm not allowed to get on a plane.

764
00:47:22,940 --> 00:47:25,540
Meanwhile, l've got Head up my ass
about that catalog.

765
00:47:25,700 --> 00:47:28,340
I've got to get it done with nut-boy
in Boston.

766
00:47:28,580 --> 00:47:30,500
Why can't Head write his own catalog?

767
00:47:30,660 --> 00:47:32,980
Because l've got to earn
that promotion.

768
00:47:33,140 --> 00:47:35,940
You've been doing his job for years.
You should be his--

769
00:47:36,100 --> 00:47:38,860
I'm sorry. I know this is really
stressing you out.

770
00:47:39,060 --> 00:47:42,020
I'm sure that it's going to be over
before you know it.

771
00:47:42,180 --> 00:47:45,220
Yeah, if l don't get caught
popping any Jelly Stingers.

772
00:47:45,380 --> 00:47:47,260
Well, that's going to be tough!

773
00:47:57,540 --> 00:47:59,500
Oh, God. There he is.

774
00:47:59,700 --> 00:48:01,540
-That's him?
-Yes.

775
00:48:04,500 --> 00:48:06,980
What? Oh. Okay, l'll hold that.

776
00:48:07,380 --> 00:48:08,300
My--

777
00:48:08,500 --> 00:48:10,060
The quiet warmth

778
00:48:10,260 --> 00:48:14,780
Smoldering beneath the rituals
Of hope for familiarity

779
00:48:15,060 --> 00:48:17,620
A coursing underground river

780
00:48:17,780 --> 00:48:21,020
Pregnant with the chance currents
Of knowledge and love

781
00:48:21,180 --> 00:48:24,380
-What?
-That's my poem! l wrote that.

782
00:48:24,540 --> 00:48:25,740
I know.

783
00:48:25,940 --> 00:48:28,140
That is your poem. I love that poem.

784
00:48:28,340 --> 00:48:30,820
I found it crumpled up
behind the sports pages...

785
00:48:30,980 --> 00:48:32,980
...on the floor of David's bedroom.

786
00:48:34,260 --> 00:48:38,540
-Shades of early Emily Dickinson.
-Who was great on Police Woman.

787
00:48:38,820 --> 00:48:43,020
Thank you. And thank you
for rescuing it from the floor.

788
00:48:44,420 --> 00:48:46,540
I think l better get going.

789
00:48:47,500 --> 00:48:50,700
I'll miss you, big guy,
so take good care.

790
00:48:50,860 --> 00:48:52,620
-How about a kiss?
-I'd love a kiss.

791
00:48:52,820 --> 00:48:55,460
I think she's talking to me.
I think l can handle it.

792
00:48:55,620 --> 00:48:57,900
So why don't you back up
an inch or two.

793
00:48:58,060 --> 00:48:59,140
Got it.

794
00:49:00,260 --> 00:49:01,940
Thank you. And, take care.

795
00:49:02,180 --> 00:49:04,140
Have a great trip, you guys.

796
00:49:04,340 --> 00:49:05,540
Oh, we will.

797
00:49:05,700 --> 00:49:06,900
Bye.

798
00:49:12,900 --> 00:49:13,860
What?

799
00:49:14,060 --> 00:49:17,260
Some mindless nitwit
is parked behind me.

800
00:49:17,460 --> 00:49:18,860
Good. Then we can't go.

801
00:49:19,020 --> 00:49:20,500
No, l can get out.

802
00:49:20,780 --> 00:49:23,500
-Get in.
-I don't know how you'll get out.

803
00:49:23,980 --> 00:49:27,540
Try to wiggle out, you're going to get
a ding. But you know everything.

804
00:49:32,700 --> 00:49:33,780
What's he doing?

805
00:49:41,940 --> 00:49:44,940
Well, you're batting a thousand...

806
00:49:45,140 --> 00:49:46,820
...in craziness.

807
00:49:49,620 --> 00:49:51,340
Now we're bumping into cars.

808
00:49:51,540 --> 00:49:54,060
I'm just making a little room
to back up.

809
00:49:54,260 --> 00:49:56,140
If l had lost my temper...

810
00:49:56,300 --> 00:49:58,540
...would l have had
the presence of mind...

811
00:49:58,700 --> 00:50:01,540
...to leave my card
and my insurance information?

812
00:50:01,700 --> 00:50:05,140
Whatever, Mr. Insane-Vein-Popping-
A-Little-Too-Far-Out-Of-His-Head-...

813
00:50:05,300 --> 00:50:06,780
...While-Swinging-The-Bat Guy.

814
00:50:14,540 --> 00:50:16,740
I think you've got room to back up.

815
00:50:28,980 --> 00:50:31,660
Why haven't you taken Linda
off the market?

816
00:50:31,820 --> 00:50:33,140
Think you can do better?

817
00:50:33,300 --> 00:50:36,420
I'm going to ask her to marry me
when l'm ready.

818
00:50:36,580 --> 00:50:39,460
Nobody wants to settle down
with a 35-year-old secretary.

819
00:50:39,660 --> 00:50:41,060
Procrastination, Dave.

820
00:50:41,260 --> 00:50:42,620
I'm not procrastinating.

821
00:50:42,780 --> 00:50:45,100
I even think about how l'm
going to pop the question.

822
00:50:45,300 --> 00:50:48,740
Husky down jacket.
Husky Eskimo look.

823
00:50:48,900 --> 00:50:52,580
What's your plan,
ask her at a Yankee game?

824
00:50:53,780 --> 00:50:55,540
Actually, yes. How did you know?

825
00:50:55,700 --> 00:50:57,940
I said the corniest thing
l could think of.

826
00:50:58,140 --> 00:51:00,980
If you knew Linda, you'd know
how uncorny it would be to her.

827
00:51:01,140 --> 00:51:03,740
Putting up a "Marry me, please"
on the scoreboard...

828
00:51:03,900 --> 00:51:07,100
...proclaiming my love for her
in front of thousands of strangers.

829
00:51:07,780 --> 00:51:11,660
As you seem to have noticed, l'm
a little bit jumpy with public affection.

830
00:51:12,380 --> 00:51:14,740
You seemed to be lovey-dovey
back there.

831
00:51:16,100 --> 00:51:18,700
Glad you think that's funny.
I gotta work.

832
00:51:35,380 --> 00:51:37,740
A five-hour trip to find out Mommy
had a jelly bean...

833
00:51:37,940 --> 00:51:38,980
...removed from her nose.

834
00:51:39,140 --> 00:51:41,420
I'm glad l missed work.
Can we eat now?

835
00:51:59,020 --> 00:52:00,900
You could have her, you know.

836
00:52:02,740 --> 00:52:05,740
I'm sure she'd love to hang out
with a goofy secretary...

837
00:52:05,940 --> 00:52:08,380
...whose only talent
is nostril wiggling.

838
00:52:09,100 --> 00:52:11,340
-Girls love that.
-Dave...

839
00:52:11,540 --> 00:52:15,220
...you've got a lot more going for you
than wiggly nostrils.

840
00:52:15,420 --> 00:52:18,060
I want you to go over there
and ask that woman out.

841
00:52:18,700 --> 00:52:19,900
No, l got a girlfriend.

842
00:52:20,780 --> 00:52:25,020
I'm not telling you to elope with her.
Just go over and flirt a little bit.

843
00:52:25,180 --> 00:52:28,020
Flirting is cheating's ugly cousin,
Buddy.

844
00:52:28,260 --> 00:52:29,860
I'm not a cheater.

845
00:52:30,180 --> 00:52:33,540
Is it cheating if you're passed around
the cell block like a peace pipe?

846
00:52:33,740 --> 00:52:38,700
Because that is what's on the docket
for you if you don't go and ask her out.

847
00:52:38,860 --> 00:52:39,980
Okay, Dave?

848
00:52:40,940 --> 00:52:42,060
Oh, God.

849
00:52:46,300 --> 00:52:47,900
That's my boy.

850
00:52:52,460 --> 00:52:53,940
Excuse me.

851
00:52:55,060 --> 00:52:58,620
I was wondering if l could buy you
a drink. I see that you have a drink...

852
00:52:58,780 --> 00:53:02,020
...but l could get you another
when you're through with that one.

853
00:53:03,220 --> 00:53:05,100
Bite me.

854
00:53:06,500 --> 00:53:08,980
Nice meeting you. Okay.

855
00:53:13,340 --> 00:53:15,340
Can you guess why she rejected you?

856
00:53:15,500 --> 00:53:19,620
She wanted to be like the 2000 other
girls who said that to me growing up?

857
00:53:19,780 --> 00:53:22,220
No. Self-hypnotic negative imagery.

858
00:53:22,740 --> 00:53:26,220
Confidence is the key
to winning a young lady's attention.

859
00:53:27,060 --> 00:53:28,940
Now, listen to me very carefully.

860
00:53:29,140 --> 00:53:31,620
-Approach Miss Thing again.
-No.

861
00:53:31,820 --> 00:53:32,820
With confidence.

862
00:53:32,980 --> 00:53:35,020
And if she says no this time...

863
00:53:35,220 --> 00:53:38,380
...l will admit that l am a failure
as a therapist...

864
00:53:38,540 --> 00:53:40,620
...and release you from my program.

865
00:53:40,940 --> 00:53:43,060
You'll release me from your program?

866
00:53:51,980 --> 00:53:54,300
Just go over there
and repeat the following...

867
00:53:54,860 --> 00:53:56,140
...verbatim:

868
00:53:56,460 --> 00:53:58,780
I'm sorry l was so rude before...

869
00:53:58,940 --> 00:54:02,180
...but it's difficult for me
to express myself...

870
00:54:02,340 --> 00:54:06,140
...when l'm on the verge of exploding
in my pants.

871
00:54:10,060 --> 00:54:12,180
-Get out of here.
-Trust me, Dave.

872
00:54:12,500 --> 00:54:15,780
If you are calm as well as witty,
she will respond.

873
00:54:15,940 --> 00:54:19,180
Witty went out the window with
the pants explosion thing, thanks.

874
00:54:19,700 --> 00:54:21,540
My offer stands.

875
00:54:25,860 --> 00:54:27,700
So if l repeat that crazy shit...

876
00:54:27,980 --> 00:54:31,860
...you probably stole from
a porno flick, you sick bastard...

877
00:54:32,300 --> 00:54:34,060
...and get rejected...

878
00:54:34,260 --> 00:54:36,180
...you'll release me from the program?

879
00:54:36,820 --> 00:54:37,780
Exactly.

880
00:54:38,420 --> 00:54:39,940
Here we go.

881
00:54:42,700 --> 00:54:44,660
Go get them, Mr. Johnson.

882
00:55:09,300 --> 00:55:13,540
I'm sorry l was so rude before...

883
00:55:14,860 --> 00:55:19,980
...but it's difficult for me...

884
00:55:20,820 --> 00:55:24,420
...to express myself...

885
00:55:37,500 --> 00:55:40,380
...when l am on the verge...

886
00:55:42,860 --> 00:55:45,980
...of exploding in my pants.

887
00:55:49,220 --> 00:55:52,180
You are too cute.

888
00:55:52,900 --> 00:55:54,260
Get the fuck out of here.

889
00:55:56,900 --> 00:55:58,820
-I'm Kendra.
-I'm Dave.

890
00:55:59,060 --> 00:56:00,220
Let me buy you a drink.

891
00:56:01,620 --> 00:56:03,420
Can l get a cosmopolitan?

892
00:56:11,740 --> 00:56:13,380
I couldn't take it anymore...

893
00:56:13,580 --> 00:56:16,740
...so finally l just tell my boss:

894
00:56:16,940 --> 00:56:20,820
"Hey, baldy, if l want crap out of you,
l'll squeeze your head."

895
00:56:21,300 --> 00:56:24,980
-I didn't say that, but l should have.
-You are so funny.

896
00:56:25,180 --> 00:56:28,020
Too bad you're leaving town.
We could have fun together.

897
00:56:29,340 --> 00:56:31,900
Unfortunately, l am leaving
in the morning.

898
00:56:32,060 --> 00:56:34,300
In fact, l think l gotta get back
to my friend.

899
00:56:42,260 --> 00:56:43,260
What's the matter?

900
00:56:44,500 --> 00:56:46,620
-You gotta be kidding me.
-What's wrong?

901
00:56:46,820 --> 00:56:48,620
My friend took off on me.

902
00:56:48,820 --> 00:56:50,580
I can give you a ride.

903
00:56:50,860 --> 00:56:52,620
I don't even know where the guy lives.

904
00:56:52,780 --> 00:56:55,660
We can hang out at my place until you
get in touch with him.

905
00:57:02,820 --> 00:57:05,380
I bet there's like 50 Rydells in here.

906
00:57:05,580 --> 00:57:07,820
I shouldn't eat this. I'm getting so fat.

907
00:57:08,140 --> 00:57:09,700
What? You're not fat.

908
00:57:09,860 --> 00:57:12,500
My clothes hide it, but l'm
getting gooey right here.

909
00:57:12,780 --> 00:57:14,140
I don't see any goo.

910
00:57:14,380 --> 00:57:16,740
You want to see goo,
l'll show you my ass.

911
00:57:17,100 --> 00:57:19,860
Well, l see it,
and l didn't five years ago.

912
00:57:20,020 --> 00:57:22,780
I went out with this guy,
and he wouldn't sleep with me.

913
00:57:22,940 --> 00:57:26,780
And l asked him why, and he said that
when he saw me without my clothes...

914
00:57:27,660 --> 00:57:29,260
...that l look like a porker.

915
00:57:29,460 --> 00:57:32,940
He was probably just nervous
because you're beautiful and....

916
00:57:33,260 --> 00:57:36,140
Anyways, you're not a porker.
You're the un-porker.

917
00:57:36,340 --> 00:57:38,100
You're Sizzlean.

918
00:57:40,820 --> 00:57:44,180
-You're so sweet, Dave.
-Well, you're sweet, Kendra.

919
00:57:44,380 --> 00:57:48,260
Thanks for having me here.
He said her name was Rose.

920
00:57:48,500 --> 00:57:49,860
Rose.

921
00:57:51,300 --> 00:57:54,020
Rose Rydell. Rose Rydell.
Rose Rydell.

922
00:57:54,180 --> 00:57:56,300
Rose Rydell! l got it!

923
00:58:00,740 --> 00:58:01,700
Kendra...

924
00:58:02,740 --> 00:58:05,780
...even though l'd love to see you
take that bra off...

925
00:58:06,020 --> 00:58:10,140
...because it represents a team
l've hated my entire life...

926
00:58:10,540 --> 00:58:12,500
...l think you gotta keep it on.

927
00:58:12,660 --> 00:58:13,700
Why?

928
00:58:14,580 --> 00:58:16,900
Because l got a girlfriend.

929
00:58:19,420 --> 00:58:21,460
I'm not a child, Dave.

930
00:58:21,660 --> 00:58:24,860
If you think l'm a porker, then just
come right out and say it.

931
00:58:25,060 --> 00:58:26,700
No. I don't think you're a porker.

932
00:58:26,860 --> 00:58:29,540
Then why when the idea of sleeping
with me comes up...

933
00:58:29,700 --> 00:58:31,900
...do you all of a sudden
have a "girlfriend"?

934
00:58:32,060 --> 00:58:34,500
Because l do. I do. I have a girlfriend.

935
00:58:34,700 --> 00:58:36,500
Said the liar to the beached whale!

936
00:58:36,660 --> 00:58:38,060
You're not a beached whale.

937
00:58:38,220 --> 00:58:40,460
If anything, you could even
gain a few pounds.

938
00:58:41,540 --> 00:58:43,820
So now l'm too skinny for you?

939
00:58:44,100 --> 00:58:45,340
No. I didn't mean that.

940
00:58:45,540 --> 00:58:48,420
-Is this what you want, Dave?
-No.

941
00:58:48,620 --> 00:58:50,140
If l put on a few pounds...

942
00:58:50,300 --> 00:58:53,940
...will you be able to stifle your vomit
long enough to have sex with me?!

943
00:58:54,300 --> 00:58:55,580
Holy shit.

944
00:58:55,820 --> 00:58:59,020
Are you such a hot stud
that you'll break me in two?!

945
00:58:59,180 --> 00:59:02,260
You're angry right now. Wanna sing?
Do you know "l Feel Pretty"?

946
00:59:03,900 --> 00:59:05,620
-Get out! Get out!
-Stop!

947
00:59:05,860 --> 00:59:06,940
Get out!

948
00:59:07,140 --> 00:59:08,820
Get out! !

949
00:59:09,340 --> 00:59:10,660
Porker!

950
00:59:10,860 --> 00:59:11,780
Fatty!

951
00:59:12,620 --> 00:59:14,500
No! !

952
00:59:27,380 --> 00:59:28,420
How did it go, pal?

953
00:59:28,660 --> 00:59:31,580
-Why'd you ditch me?
-What are you talking about?

954
00:59:31,740 --> 00:59:33,220
You gave me the signal.

955
00:59:33,500 --> 00:59:35,460
I didn't give you the signal to leave.

956
00:59:35,620 --> 00:59:39,060
I gave you the signal to say your
gross pickup line actually worked.

957
00:59:39,220 --> 00:59:41,100
Well, of course it did.

958
00:59:41,460 --> 00:59:44,780
So did Little Davey need
some anger management?

959
00:59:44,940 --> 00:59:47,180
-That chick was killer.
-Serial killer.

960
00:59:47,340 --> 00:59:49,740
She tried to chocolate me to death.

961
00:59:49,900 --> 00:59:51,860
Anyways, l don't cheat on Linda.

962
00:59:52,860 --> 00:59:56,140
-Speaking of Linda, she called earlier.
-Oh, yeah?

963
00:59:56,420 --> 00:59:59,580
She seemed a little bit
bent out of shape.

964
00:59:59,780 --> 01:00:02,980
-About what?
-Your being out with another woman.

965
01:00:03,140 --> 01:00:06,060
-How would she know that?
-I told her.

966
01:00:06,220 --> 01:00:08,460
-What else could l do?
-What else could you do?

967
01:00:08,620 --> 01:00:12,940
You could've told her something else.
I was at the bank. I was at the store.

968
01:00:13,100 --> 01:00:15,940
I ate bad guacamole
and l couldn't stop shitting!

969
01:00:16,100 --> 01:00:17,860
Any of those would have been fine!

970
01:00:18,300 --> 01:00:20,940
Well, l'm sorry, Dave, but l don't lie
for my patients.

971
01:00:21,100 --> 01:00:24,500
You want to leave your friend and
run off and chase some hot babe...

972
01:00:24,780 --> 01:00:26,660
...you can't expect me to cover for you.

973
01:00:26,820 --> 01:00:29,380
I did what you told me to do,
you sick, demented man.

974
01:00:32,860 --> 01:00:34,300
What are you laughing at?

975
01:00:35,340 --> 01:00:36,740
What's so funny?

976
01:00:38,380 --> 01:00:42,940
Kendra is an ex-patient of mine,
an actress. Pretty good one too.

977
01:00:43,100 --> 01:00:47,420
I arranged for her to be in the bar
and for you to pick her up.

978
01:00:51,100 --> 01:00:52,300
You were messing with me?

979
01:00:52,460 --> 01:00:55,100
Yeah. You know, just a joke
between friends...

980
01:00:55,260 --> 01:00:58,500
...like the one you pulled on me
about my dying mother.

981
01:00:58,660 --> 01:01:00,860
I told you l'd get you back for that.

982
01:01:02,020 --> 01:01:02,980
All right.

983
01:01:06,380 --> 01:01:08,460
So you really didn't talk to Linda.

984
01:01:08,820 --> 01:01:12,100
Of course l did.
That's what made it so funny.

985
01:01:14,860 --> 01:01:16,140
Where's your phone?

986
01:01:16,340 --> 01:01:20,420
She's not home, Dave.
She went out with her pal Andrea.

987
01:01:20,740 --> 01:01:23,060
She doesn't know any Andreas.
You mean Andrew?

988
01:01:23,260 --> 01:01:27,740
Yeah, that's it.
Andrew, the testicle with legs.

989
01:01:27,980 --> 01:01:30,340
"The testicle with legs." Great! !

990
01:01:30,540 --> 01:01:34,020
Now wait a minute. Calm down a bit.
Try some deep breathing.

991
01:01:34,180 --> 01:01:36,980
Maybe just hum a little "l Feel Pretty."

992
01:01:37,220 --> 01:01:40,580
No! ! How about you hum
the "l'm a Crazy Asshole" song?

993
01:01:40,740 --> 01:01:43,340
And take me home, you
psychotic piece of wacko.

994
01:01:44,220 --> 01:01:46,620
I never thought you'd take it like this.

995
01:01:57,140 --> 01:02:00,580
So, what, we're not going to talk at all?

996
01:02:03,140 --> 01:02:07,060
Would you forgive me if l told you
l called Linda last night...

997
01:02:07,340 --> 01:02:10,740
...after our little fracas
and explained that it was my fault?

998
01:02:11,100 --> 01:02:12,060
What did she say?

999
01:02:12,300 --> 01:02:17,340
Well, she's not mad at you anymore,
but she let me have it pretty good.

1000
01:02:17,540 --> 01:02:19,540
You deserved it. I did nothing wrong.

1001
01:02:19,700 --> 01:02:21,300
I know. I know.

1002
01:02:23,060 --> 01:02:24,020
Friends?

1003
01:02:26,540 --> 01:02:29,540
-Take a little nap.
-I am tired.

1004
01:02:29,700 --> 01:02:31,460
Well, you had a rough night.

1005
01:02:44,660 --> 01:02:46,180
Stop with the cupcake!

1006
01:02:47,580 --> 01:02:50,420
Rise and shine, Sir Snoozola.

1007
01:02:51,220 --> 01:02:53,100
What's going on? Where are we?

1008
01:02:53,260 --> 01:02:55,980
Well, at a great deal of expense
and effort...

1009
01:02:56,140 --> 01:02:59,580
...we have managed to locate
your grade school bête noire...

1010
01:02:59,740 --> 01:03:00,700
...Arnie Shankman.

1011
01:03:00,860 --> 01:03:03,940
We do desire a confrontation with him,
do we not?

1012
01:03:04,660 --> 01:03:07,780
What? Do you mean the kid
who bullied me in fifth grade?

1013
01:03:07,940 --> 01:03:11,780
Dave, l think it's pivotal for you
to confront your childhood nemesis.

1014
01:03:12,100 --> 01:03:15,460
Remember, for 22 more days,
you are mine.

1015
01:03:17,260 --> 01:03:18,940
This is where Arnie Shankman lives?

1016
01:03:22,980 --> 01:03:25,940
You're kidding me. You're going to
make me confront a monk.

1017
01:03:27,220 --> 01:03:28,340
Great.

1018
01:03:34,020 --> 01:03:36,740
Are you ashamed that you
never stood up to him?

1019
01:03:36,900 --> 01:03:38,660
No. He was just a kid lashing out...

1020
01:03:38,820 --> 01:03:41,220
...because his sister got sent
to an insane asylum.

1021
01:03:41,420 --> 01:03:43,860
I'm surprised your research
didn't tell you that.

1022
01:03:44,940 --> 01:03:46,260
This doesn't look like him.

1023
01:03:49,220 --> 01:03:51,220
Excuse me, Arnie Shankman?

1024
01:03:52,420 --> 01:03:54,980
Sorry about waking you up.

1025
01:03:55,700 --> 01:03:58,020
My name is Pana Kamanana...

1026
01:03:58,500 --> 01:04:01,500
...but, yes, l was once known
as Arnie Shankman.

1027
01:04:01,860 --> 01:04:02,980
Arnie....

1028
01:04:03,140 --> 01:04:05,540
Pana Kamanana...

1029
01:04:05,940 --> 01:04:08,060
...Dave Buznik
from elementary school.

1030
01:04:09,460 --> 01:04:11,340
David Buznik.

1031
01:04:11,620 --> 01:04:14,460
This is the last place l thought
l'd find you, a monastery.

1032
01:04:14,620 --> 01:04:18,060
You could say l've gone through
a rather dramatic transformation.

1033
01:04:18,220 --> 01:04:20,380
Could you excuse him for a second,
Peanuts?

1034
01:04:22,340 --> 01:04:24,460
His name's not Peanuts.
It's Pana Manapia.

1035
01:04:24,620 --> 01:04:27,940
You want me to fight a monk?
He's not even allowed to hurt a plant.

1036
01:04:28,100 --> 01:04:31,380
For Pete's sake, this is the monk
that twisted your tits!

1037
01:04:31,540 --> 01:04:33,900
Confront him or you're going to prison!

1038
01:04:34,100 --> 01:04:36,540
All right. All right. All right.

1039
01:04:41,900 --> 01:04:44,940
Anyways, what l wanted to say to you
was...

1040
01:04:45,300 --> 01:04:49,300
...when we were kids, you kind of
bullied me around a little bit...

1041
01:04:49,460 --> 01:04:53,700
...and l never really did anything
to deserve that kind of treatment.

1042
01:04:53,900 --> 01:04:56,300
Of course not. I was a real cretin then.

1043
01:04:56,500 --> 01:04:58,820
I did a lot of horrible things as a kid.

1044
01:04:58,980 --> 01:05:02,100
I pushed you around.
I called you nasty names.

1045
01:05:02,380 --> 01:05:04,980
You pulled my gym shorts down
in front of Sara Plowman.

1046
01:05:06,540 --> 01:05:08,980
That actually was pretty funny.

1047
01:05:09,460 --> 01:05:11,540
Jeez, l don't think that it was.

1048
01:05:11,780 --> 01:05:14,860
Now, come, David.
Humor is the spice of life.

1049
01:05:15,060 --> 01:05:16,940
The look on your face was priceless.

1050
01:05:17,460 --> 01:05:19,900
"Oh! Sara saw my pee-pee!"

1051
01:05:20,940 --> 01:05:23,460
So Pena likes the spicy humor.

1052
01:05:23,660 --> 01:05:27,460
Maybe he'd enjoy the knee-slapper
you told me about the great Buddha.

1053
01:05:27,660 --> 01:05:29,140
What did you say about Buddha?

1054
01:05:29,300 --> 01:05:32,780
Dave said, "How does a guy
who weighs over 600 pounds...

1055
01:05:32,940 --> 01:05:35,940
...have the balls to teach people
about self-discipline?"

1056
01:05:37,100 --> 01:05:38,860
Let's not make fun of my God, here.

1057
01:05:39,020 --> 01:05:42,420
You know what else Dave finds
particularly piquant?

1058
01:05:42,660 --> 01:05:46,060
Recalling your nut-job sister
struggling with her underpants...

1059
01:05:46,220 --> 01:05:47,260
...in a straitjacket.

1060
01:05:47,420 --> 01:05:48,700
You think that's funny?

1061
01:05:48,860 --> 01:05:50,860
Dave used to con her
into getting naked...

1062
01:05:51,020 --> 01:05:53,700
...by saying that her clothes
had ghosts in them.

1063
01:05:53,860 --> 01:05:55,020
That never happened.

1064
01:05:55,180 --> 01:05:57,220
Then he'd pull out his winkie
and tell her...

1065
01:05:57,380 --> 01:05:59,940
...it was a strawberry ice-cream cone.

1066
01:06:00,940 --> 01:06:03,580
Is that what you've come here
to tell me?

1067
01:06:03,740 --> 01:06:06,500
Did you expose yourself...

1068
01:06:06,780 --> 01:06:07,940
...to my sister?

1069
01:06:09,820 --> 01:06:13,980
-And don't shove me again.
-It's shower-room humiliation again.

1070
01:06:14,140 --> 01:06:17,500
He's giving you a wet willie and
making you chew on his jockstrap...

1071
01:06:17,660 --> 01:06:19,500
...and fart blossom and all this.

1072
01:06:20,180 --> 01:06:24,460
Answer me, Buznik!
Did you get it on with my sister?

1073
01:06:26,140 --> 01:06:28,060
Over and over again.

1074
01:06:29,380 --> 01:06:32,220
And she moaned like a wildebeest.

1075
01:06:32,380 --> 01:06:34,260
Wildebeest.

1076
01:06:37,380 --> 01:06:39,220
Whoo! Now, that felt good!

1077
01:06:39,380 --> 01:06:41,380
I wasn't expecting that
from a Buddhist.

1078
01:06:42,660 --> 01:06:46,020
-I'm a little pissed off right now.
-You all right? You're all right.

1079
01:06:51,220 --> 01:06:53,260
David! David! No, David!

1080
01:06:53,420 --> 01:06:54,980
Easy, boy!

1081
01:06:55,180 --> 01:06:56,460
Sorry.

1082
01:06:57,540 --> 01:06:58,660
Help me, brother.

1083
01:06:58,860 --> 01:07:01,300
-Help me.
-Okay. Come on. Come on.

1084
01:07:01,580 --> 01:07:04,140
Okay, we're even. We're even now.

1085
01:07:04,420 --> 01:07:06,820
-I went crazy. I'm so sorry.
-I started it.

1086
01:07:07,020 --> 01:07:08,460
-I started it.
-It's all right.

1087
01:07:08,620 --> 01:07:10,340
And l'm gonna finish it!

1088
01:07:11,540 --> 01:07:13,420
Now we're even, butt-lick!

1089
01:07:13,780 --> 01:07:15,700
No! Don't! Don't! Don't!

1090
01:07:15,860 --> 01:07:19,460
"What's that, Auntie Em?
lt's a twister!"

1091
01:07:19,700 --> 01:07:21,180
My nipples!

1092
01:07:21,340 --> 01:07:23,860
Pena! Look! Your sister's back.

1093
01:07:24,020 --> 01:07:26,340
I got Casper in my clothes!

1094
01:07:28,420 --> 01:07:30,660
-Pretty good.
-Thanks, baby.

1095
01:07:30,820 --> 01:07:31,780
I'll kill you!

1096
01:07:32,660 --> 01:07:34,540
You want that rake?

1097
01:07:34,700 --> 01:07:37,220
You can't get that rake from me!

1098
01:07:37,380 --> 01:07:38,780
Look, everybody!

1099
01:07:38,940 --> 01:07:40,820
Pana Banana's got a heinie.

1100
01:07:41,060 --> 01:07:43,220
-He's got a heinie!
-I give!

1101
01:07:43,380 --> 01:07:45,020
-I give!
-All right. I'm sorry.

1102
01:07:45,420 --> 01:07:48,500
-Friends?
-You suck!

1103
01:07:51,460 --> 01:07:52,420
Shankman!

1104
01:07:52,580 --> 01:07:54,980
Wedgie! Wedgie! Wedgie!

1105
01:07:55,180 --> 01:07:57,180
-I've seen enough.
-Hold it right there.

1106
01:07:57,340 --> 01:07:59,500
This party's by invitation only.

1107
01:08:03,260 --> 01:08:05,420
Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!

1108
01:08:11,500 --> 01:08:13,420
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

1109
01:08:19,340 --> 01:08:21,340
Hold it back there! Come on, come on.

1110
01:08:21,500 --> 01:08:22,500
Start the car!

1111
01:08:22,700 --> 01:08:24,700
Go! Go! Go! Come on, let's go!

1112
01:08:24,860 --> 01:08:26,860
Now! Now! Now! Now!

1113
01:08:33,580 --> 01:08:34,700
Oh, boy!

1114
01:08:34,860 --> 01:08:36,620
We were like Butch and Sundance!

1115
01:08:36,780 --> 01:08:40,100
Oh, my God! l thought you
were going to shoot somebody!

1116
01:08:43,980 --> 01:08:46,940
You really threw me some curves
back there, kid.

1117
01:08:47,100 --> 01:08:49,740
I never expected it to go that way.

1118
01:08:50,140 --> 01:08:52,780
But you kicked some serious
monk ass there, baby.

1119
01:08:52,940 --> 01:08:54,540
You're damn right, baby!

1120
01:08:54,780 --> 01:08:58,140
-How did it feel?
-I feel good! l feel incredible!

1121
01:08:58,380 --> 01:09:02,300
I feel bad about molesting his sister
all those times, but it's all right!

1122
01:09:03,100 --> 01:09:06,860
-You really molested a crazy girl?
-No. Got you.

1123
01:09:09,100 --> 01:09:12,380
Congratulations, keed,
you've reached level three.

1124
01:09:16,300 --> 01:09:19,020
I would never have done anything
with that girl.

1125
01:09:19,180 --> 01:09:23,500
Don't worry. Dr. Rydell explained
everything to me, and l get it.

1126
01:09:23,660 --> 01:09:28,540
Dr. Rydell brought up an interesting
fact about me being a procrastinator...

1127
01:09:28,700 --> 01:09:31,820
...and l was going to wait
for a Yankee game to do this...

1128
01:09:31,980 --> 01:09:33,100
...but....

1129
01:09:33,340 --> 01:09:37,180
I don't know. I.... It's something
l wanted to say to you...

1130
01:09:37,380 --> 01:09:40,940
...and l'm having a hard time saying it
for some reason. But....

1131
01:09:43,180 --> 01:09:47,100
It's just that monks, they talk shit...

1132
01:09:47,260 --> 01:09:48,980
...but they can't back it up.

1133
01:09:51,580 --> 01:09:54,420
That's what was so hard
to say to me?

1134
01:09:59,820 --> 01:10:04,060
You know, when l was on the phone
with Buddy, he gave me some advice.

1135
01:10:04,220 --> 01:10:07,980
That's great.
His advice is a little cuckoo...

1136
01:10:08,220 --> 01:10:10,060
...but somehow it works.

1137
01:10:10,220 --> 01:10:13,260
Well, then l guess l'll just do
what he suggested.

1138
01:10:16,780 --> 01:10:19,620
I don't think that we should
see each other for a while.

1139
01:10:20,460 --> 01:10:24,460
Buddy thinks that a trial separation
will ultimately...

1140
01:10:25,460 --> 01:10:27,580
...strengthen our relationship.

1141
01:10:33,820 --> 01:10:35,380
Now, Fury Fighters...

1142
01:10:35,540 --> 01:10:38,660
...what keys do we need to possess
before we can--?

1143
01:10:38,820 --> 01:10:40,140
Dave. You're late.

1144
01:10:40,300 --> 01:10:43,100
-Can l talk to you alone, please?
-Sure you can--

1145
01:10:51,980 --> 01:10:54,620
You told Linda we should have
a trial separation?

1146
01:10:54,820 --> 01:10:56,060
-Yes.
-Yes?!

1147
01:10:56,300 --> 01:10:57,380
Yes!

1148
01:10:57,620 --> 01:11:01,100
Separating from Linda
is a crucial part of our strategy.

1149
01:11:01,260 --> 01:11:03,420
My strategy is to keep my girlfriend.

1150
01:11:03,660 --> 01:11:06,700
All right. Strictly as a friend.

1151
01:11:07,220 --> 01:11:09,820
Linda's been thinking about
leaving you for some time.

1152
01:11:10,300 --> 01:11:13,500
She loves you, but she
recognizes you're a neurotic mess.

1153
01:11:13,740 --> 01:11:14,700
You're jealous...

1154
01:11:14,860 --> 01:11:18,900
...self-loathing, resentful, insecure
and a premature ejaculator.

1155
01:11:19,260 --> 01:11:21,420
She told you l was
a premature ejaculator?

1156
01:11:21,580 --> 01:11:22,860
That part l was assuming.

1157
01:11:23,500 --> 01:11:25,700
I haven't done that in,
like, eight months.

1158
01:11:25,860 --> 01:11:31,100
Anyway, a trial separation will make
you both gain a deeper appreciation...

1159
01:11:31,340 --> 01:11:33,340
...for David Buznik.

1160
01:11:33,900 --> 01:11:37,820
After she dates a couple of losers,
she'll be begging you to take her back.

1161
01:11:42,460 --> 01:11:46,700
So l've been thinking about it,
Linda...

1162
01:11:47,020 --> 01:11:51,300
...and a trial separation is exactly
what we need.

1163
01:11:51,500 --> 01:11:54,460
And ifyou want to start seeing...

1164
01:11:54,700 --> 01:11:57,260
...other penises-- People...

1165
01:11:59,980 --> 01:12:01,620
...l want you to feel free.

1166
01:12:01,820 --> 01:12:03,700
You sound upset. Are you all right?

1167
01:12:05,940 --> 01:12:10,580
I'm fine. Just date anybody you'd like.

1168
01:12:10,780 --> 01:12:12,620
And don't hold back, okay?

1169
01:12:12,820 --> 01:12:16,820
Because there's a lot of nice guys
out there and l'm cool with it.

1170
01:12:17,020 --> 01:12:18,500
I'll be strong.

1171
01:12:21,740 --> 01:12:24,740
So the guy asked me for change.
I laughed. He cursed.

1172
01:12:24,900 --> 01:12:25,900
I whizzed on him.

1173
01:12:26,540 --> 01:12:29,580
-What else could l do, huh?
-You should've tossed a rock at him.

1174
01:12:29,820 --> 01:12:32,940
That's your solution for everything.
The guy's homeless, right?

1175
01:12:33,140 --> 01:12:34,860
Let him be. Set your anger free.

1176
01:12:35,340 --> 01:12:39,060
Look at you, Lou. You've really calmed
down since working with Dr. B.

1177
01:12:39,220 --> 01:12:41,100
-We all have.
-Hey, fellas.

1178
01:12:41,660 --> 01:12:43,620
Could you bring it down a little bit?

1179
01:12:43,820 --> 01:12:46,540
We're trying to have dinner.
The walls are really thin.

1180
01:12:46,700 --> 01:12:49,340
-This is a free country!
-What's going on with you?!

1181
01:12:49,580 --> 01:12:51,660
-Are you crazy?!
-Go in! Just go in.

1182
01:12:53,620 --> 01:12:55,500
Goosfraba! Goosfraba!

1183
01:12:55,660 --> 01:12:58,620
Goosfraba.

1184
01:12:58,860 --> 01:13:01,300
Very good.
What are you guys doing here?

1185
01:13:01,500 --> 01:13:03,700
I need to see Dr. B. I'm in crisis.

1186
01:13:03,900 --> 01:13:06,420
He's not here.
Why don't you go look for him?

1187
01:13:06,580 --> 01:13:10,860
Davey, your girlfriend stopped by
and she dropped these off for you.

1188
01:13:12,060 --> 01:13:14,380
Those are her keys to my apartment.

1189
01:13:14,540 --> 01:13:16,660
I think your girlfriend's cheating
on you.

1190
01:13:16,980 --> 01:13:19,540
-Why?
-I heard her on her cell phone...

1191
01:13:19,700 --> 01:13:21,340
...talking to a guy...

1192
01:13:21,820 --> 01:13:24,940
-...making a date.
-I'm so sorry, Dave.

1193
01:13:25,340 --> 01:13:26,700
Andrew.

1194
01:13:26,940 --> 01:13:28,100
I'll kill that guy.

1195
01:13:29,580 --> 01:13:32,780
She ain't cheating on me by the way.
We agreed to take a break.

1196
01:13:32,940 --> 01:13:36,300
She's not taking a break
from the old sausage, huh?

1197
01:13:36,860 --> 01:13:37,820
Sorry.

1198
01:13:38,060 --> 01:13:40,740
She's meeting the Andrew at Mort's
on 86th Street now...

1199
01:13:40,900 --> 01:13:42,100
...if you want to go watch.

1200
01:13:44,020 --> 01:13:46,260
No. No, l can't do that.

1201
01:13:51,660 --> 01:13:52,620
We're here.

1202
01:13:53,220 --> 01:13:56,260
-Both of you showed up?
-You like Stacy better or something?

1203
01:13:56,420 --> 01:14:00,420
It's just that l want to go on a fake
date to get my girlfriend jealous...

1204
01:14:00,580 --> 01:14:02,660
...so l really only needed
one of you guys.

1205
01:14:02,860 --> 01:14:04,740
Well, now she'll be twice as jealous.

1206
01:14:04,940 --> 01:14:07,940
-So do you know the guy she's with?
-I think l might.

1207
01:14:08,100 --> 01:14:09,340
Let me ask you something.

1208
01:14:09,500 --> 01:14:13,540
Because of your profession
you probably have seen a lot of them.

1209
01:14:13,700 --> 01:14:17,860
Does size count at all, or is that just
some weird thing guys think about?

1210
01:14:18,020 --> 01:14:20,780
This is where Gina and l
always get into a heated debate.

1211
01:14:20,940 --> 01:14:22,700
I like them when they're really big.

1212
01:14:22,860 --> 01:14:25,420
And l think it's better
when they're enormous.

1213
01:14:32,220 --> 01:14:33,580
Good evening.

1214
01:14:33,740 --> 01:14:35,780
Table for three?

1215
01:14:35,940 --> 01:14:38,700
-May we take your coats?
-No. We're okay.

1216
01:14:38,860 --> 01:14:41,100
The girls are gonna
take their coats off.

1217
01:14:41,260 --> 01:14:43,300
Would you like a boobs--? Booth?

1218
01:14:46,780 --> 01:14:50,820
Actually, could you give us a table
overlooking that table right there?

1219
01:14:50,980 --> 01:14:52,860
-Sure. Right this way.
-Thank you.

1220
01:14:56,460 --> 01:14:59,340
Oh, my God. It's Stacy and Gina.

1221
01:14:59,500 --> 01:15:00,860
Who?

1222
01:15:01,020 --> 01:15:02,500
Nobody.

1223
01:15:02,700 --> 01:15:04,820
I'm so hungry l could eat you, Dave.

1224
01:15:05,140 --> 01:15:06,580
Yummy. Yummy.

1225
01:15:07,820 --> 01:15:10,260
-Let's get wasted tonight.
-Definitely.

1226
01:15:10,420 --> 01:15:13,460
Have fun.
Lucky son of a bitch.

1227
01:15:15,580 --> 01:15:17,420
What?

1228
01:15:19,340 --> 01:15:20,940
I can't believe this.

1229
01:15:21,100 --> 01:15:22,380
Excuse me.

1230
01:15:22,540 --> 01:15:27,020
Linda. I'm a little embarrassed. I
didn't know you were going to be here.

1231
01:15:27,220 --> 01:15:29,580
I guess not. Are those your friends?

1232
01:15:29,740 --> 01:15:33,340
I'm supposed to date other people
so l figured l'd give it a try.

1233
01:15:37,660 --> 01:15:41,020
Gina, can you stop sucking
on Stacy's finger for one second?

1234
01:15:41,180 --> 01:15:43,260
I want to introduce you to somebody.

1235
01:15:43,820 --> 01:15:47,020
-Stacy, Gina, this is Linda.
-Nice to meet you.

1236
01:15:47,260 --> 01:15:49,820
And l'd like you to meet my date.

1237
01:15:50,380 --> 01:15:53,020
Ladies, this is Buddy Rydell.

1238
01:15:53,540 --> 01:15:56,140
-Look, Dave, it's Buddy.
-I see.

1239
01:15:56,300 --> 01:15:59,140
-You know Stacy and Gina?
-Yes, yes, l do.

1240
01:15:59,300 --> 01:16:01,900
We're in Dave's anger group.
Fury Fighters!

1241
01:16:03,460 --> 01:16:05,940
Well, gee whiz.
Here's your Rémy, Linda.

1242
01:16:06,140 --> 01:16:07,980
This is a bit awkward.

1243
01:16:08,140 --> 01:16:09,660
I mean, group members...

1244
01:16:09,820 --> 01:16:12,140
...are not supposed to get
romantically involved.

1245
01:16:12,300 --> 01:16:15,140
-Yeah! l agree with that.
-You know that.

1246
01:16:15,300 --> 01:16:18,260
I'd like to talk to you alone
for a second.

1247
01:16:18,420 --> 01:16:22,020
There's a rage control technique l'd
like to go over with you right now.

1248
01:16:22,180 --> 01:16:23,780
Of course. Excuse me--

1249
01:16:25,220 --> 01:16:26,220
What?

1250
01:16:28,140 --> 01:16:30,500
-Two of the usual, Duke.
-Coming right up, Dr. B.

1251
01:16:30,660 --> 01:16:33,420
You're the biggest backstabbing
piece of crap l ever met.

1252
01:16:34,340 --> 01:16:35,460
What are you saying?

1253
01:16:35,620 --> 01:16:37,740
I'm trying to give you a hand.
It's my job.

1254
01:16:37,900 --> 01:16:40,420
Bullshit!
Your job is to steal my girlfriend?!

1255
01:16:40,620 --> 01:16:42,860
My job is trying to prevent
Mr. Andrew...

1256
01:16:43,020 --> 01:16:45,860
...from unleashing the Whopper
with Cheese.

1257
01:16:46,340 --> 01:16:48,940
That's right. Since you've
been out of the picture...

1258
01:16:49,100 --> 01:16:51,660
...Andrew's been burning up the wires
night and day...

1259
01:16:51,940 --> 01:16:55,300
...trying to rekindle those
hotsie-totsie nights up at Brown U.

1260
01:16:55,460 --> 01:16:58,220
-How would you know?
-You think l only tapped your phone?

1261
01:16:58,380 --> 01:16:59,820
What was she saying?

1262
01:16:59,980 --> 01:17:03,620
The good news is, l already launched
a preemptive strike.

1263
01:17:03,780 --> 01:17:06,500
Now the situation is contained.

1264
01:17:06,660 --> 01:17:08,580
You and l control the game.

1265
01:17:08,780 --> 01:17:09,740
How?

1266
01:17:09,900 --> 01:17:13,100
I will be uncharacteristically
aggressively boring.

1267
01:17:13,260 --> 01:17:17,060
I keep talking about myself,
acting arrogant and obnoxious.

1268
01:17:17,380 --> 01:17:20,100
When Linda sees what
the dating world is really like...

1269
01:17:20,260 --> 01:17:23,780
...then guess who comes out
smelling like a white mushroom?

1270
01:17:27,500 --> 01:17:30,820
-You swear to me this will work?
-The ball's already up in the air.

1271
01:17:31,140 --> 01:17:33,860
Incidentally, nice move
bringing the girls.

1272
01:17:34,500 --> 01:17:37,380
Very strong. Come on.

1273
01:17:37,540 --> 01:17:40,140
I'll see you at home
in a half-hour, keed.

1274
01:17:42,660 --> 01:17:44,940
That's 25 dollars, pal.

1275
01:17:45,180 --> 01:17:46,820
We don't....

1276
01:18:19,500 --> 01:18:21,260
Where were you? lt's 1 :00.

1277
01:18:21,500 --> 01:18:25,460
When you hear what happened, you'll
bow down and worship me like a god.

1278
01:18:25,620 --> 01:18:27,660
-Better be good. Give it to me.
-Okay.

1279
01:18:27,820 --> 01:18:30,780
After dinner, she insisted we go home.
So we hop on the bus--

1280
01:18:30,940 --> 01:18:33,380
The bus? You took the bus?
What happened to your car?

1281
01:18:33,580 --> 01:18:35,140
I was way too smashed to drive.

1282
01:18:35,300 --> 01:18:40,300
I told her l didn't want to waste money
on a cab. That did not go down well.

1283
01:18:41,340 --> 01:18:42,780
Okay. I like that.

1284
01:18:42,940 --> 01:18:45,020
So we get to her house...

1285
01:18:45,340 --> 01:18:48,380
...we have some kind of a weird
argument...

1286
01:18:48,540 --> 01:18:51,740
...about the number of syllables
in a haiku.

1287
01:18:51,900 --> 01:18:53,220
Poetry garbage.

1288
01:18:53,460 --> 01:18:56,620
She said it was getting late,
we kissed and l headed on home.

1289
01:18:57,620 --> 01:19:00,340
Now, you say you kissed?

1290
01:19:00,540 --> 01:19:03,100
It was nothing. Little five-second kiss.
That's all.

1291
01:19:03,260 --> 01:19:04,700
Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

1292
01:19:04,940 --> 01:19:07,300
You're having this horrible evening.

1293
01:19:07,500 --> 01:19:10,780
-How do you end up kissing, again?
-I wish l knew, keed.

1294
01:19:10,940 --> 01:19:13,420
We were both pretty geezed up.

1295
01:19:13,660 --> 01:19:17,340
One second we're fighting,
and the next second we're laughing...

1296
01:19:17,580 --> 01:19:19,820
...and then just a quick
1 0-second kiss.

1297
01:19:19,980 --> 01:19:22,340
I thought that you said five seconds.

1298
01:19:22,500 --> 01:19:24,100
First it was a five-second one...

1299
01:19:24,260 --> 01:19:27,500
...and then a little break because
my beard gave her a tickle.

1300
01:19:27,820 --> 01:19:30,500
She's cute.
And then a 1 0-second Frencher.

1301
01:19:31,580 --> 01:19:35,660
You had your crazy, corroded tongue
in my girlfriend's mouth?

1302
01:19:37,260 --> 01:19:39,980
Just a second. Just one second, Dave.

1303
01:19:40,300 --> 01:19:42,900
Dr. B, let it bip.

1304
01:19:43,540 --> 01:19:45,540
Well, hello.

1305
01:19:47,380 --> 01:19:49,580
I shouldn't really talk right now.

1306
01:19:50,220 --> 01:19:52,740
Well, l suppose you're right.

1307
01:19:54,100 --> 01:19:55,860
It's got to be done.

1308
01:19:57,420 --> 01:19:58,580
Who was that? Linda?

1309
01:20:02,580 --> 01:20:06,500
I've got some good news for you
and some potentially upsetting news.

1310
01:20:06,700 --> 01:20:08,460
First, the good news.

1311
01:20:08,620 --> 01:20:11,140
I'm going to sign your papers.
You're a free man.

1312
01:20:11,340 --> 01:20:13,460
Let me hear
the potentially upsetting news.

1313
01:20:14,580 --> 01:20:17,940
Linda and l have fallen
for one another.

1314
01:20:18,100 --> 01:20:19,500
Pretty hard too.

1315
01:20:19,820 --> 01:20:22,740
David, l hope you believe me
when l say this:

1316
01:20:22,900 --> 01:20:24,660
I didn't intend for this to happen.

1317
01:20:24,820 --> 01:20:27,500
It was no one's fault, l guess.
It was just--

1318
01:20:27,660 --> 01:20:29,140
Wait a minute.

1319
01:20:33,100 --> 01:20:34,940
I figured this out.

1320
01:20:41,620 --> 01:20:43,020
You're messing with me.

1321
01:20:43,660 --> 01:20:45,300
I wish l were, Dave.

1322
01:20:45,780 --> 01:20:50,420
However, l did insist that we not
go forward without your blessing...

1323
01:20:50,580 --> 01:20:55,340
...because we're best friends.
So, what do you say, Dave?

1324
01:20:55,860 --> 01:20:58,580
Is it all right if l date your ex?

1325
01:21:02,860 --> 01:21:04,340
Welcome back, Mr. Buznik.

1326
01:21:04,500 --> 01:21:07,060
I am appalled by your assault
on Dr. Rydell.

1327
01:21:07,220 --> 01:21:10,500
Obviously, anger management
has been a complete failure for you.

1328
01:21:10,660 --> 01:21:14,460
I'm setting a trial date for 3 weeks
from today for attempted murder.

1329
01:21:14,620 --> 01:21:18,220
As for Dr. Rydell's safety,
l'm issuing a restraining order.

1330
01:21:18,380 --> 01:21:21,580
Which means that at no time can you
come within 500 feet of him...

1331
01:21:21,740 --> 01:21:24,020
...or his lovely new girlfriend, Linda.

1332
01:21:24,180 --> 01:21:25,860
Court is adjourned.

1333
01:21:44,100 --> 01:21:45,740
Coming, Peaches.

1334
01:21:54,020 --> 01:21:55,620
Are you kidding me?

1335
01:22:01,180 --> 01:22:04,100
Numb-nuts, where's the catalog
for my Fat Cat clothing line?

1336
01:22:04,260 --> 01:22:05,660
I said l'd have it by 3.

1337
01:22:07,180 --> 01:22:09,340
-Okay.
-Get in gear.

1338
01:22:12,820 --> 01:22:14,220
I'm so sorry l'm late.

1339
01:22:14,380 --> 01:22:16,900
I hope you have it.
My presentation's in two hours.

1340
01:22:17,100 --> 01:22:20,060
What's this? Your fat-shit cat's
been sitting there all day.

1341
01:22:20,300 --> 01:22:21,700
Don't worry about him.

1342
01:22:21,860 --> 01:22:24,620
Here you go.
I think you're gonna like it.

1343
01:22:31,780 --> 01:22:32,740
It's good stuff.

1344
01:22:33,500 --> 01:22:35,380
That's a good picture, l think.

1345
01:22:37,140 --> 01:22:38,420
What the hell is this?!

1346
01:22:38,580 --> 01:22:41,540
You keep telling everybody you
created the Husky Cat line.

1347
01:22:41,740 --> 01:22:44,100
I thought you'd want your picture
in there. No?

1348
01:22:44,260 --> 01:22:46,460
Question: Can l get two couches
in my office?

1349
01:22:46,620 --> 01:22:49,140
If friends come over, l want them
to feel comfortable.

1350
01:22:49,300 --> 01:22:50,340
What office?

1351
01:22:50,500 --> 01:22:54,700
Frank was nice enough to give me
some creative executive position.

1352
01:22:56,500 --> 01:22:59,340
-You gave him the job that l wanted?
-He earned it.

1353
01:22:59,500 --> 01:23:01,900
Why can't you be happy for me?
Linda's gonna be.

1354
01:23:02,140 --> 01:23:04,780
Know something?
l'm sick of you hanging out with Linda.

1355
01:23:04,940 --> 01:23:07,340
She dumped you 1 5 years ago.
Get over it.

1356
01:23:07,500 --> 01:23:08,860
I wouldn't worry about me.

1357
01:23:09,020 --> 01:23:12,100
It's your pal Buddy who's taking her
to the Yankee game tonight.

1358
01:23:12,820 --> 01:23:14,220
Yankee game.

1359
01:23:15,420 --> 01:23:17,500
Did he steal my proposal idea?

1360
01:23:18,140 --> 01:23:20,660
Buznik, your behavior
is unacceptable.

1361
01:23:21,820 --> 01:23:23,580
Unacceptable?

1362
01:23:24,220 --> 01:23:29,020
I've been getting your coffee and
doing your work for five years now.

1363
01:23:29,180 --> 01:23:31,220
When a good position
actually opens up...

1364
01:23:31,460 --> 01:23:33,740
...you give it to the biggest dick
in the world?

1365
01:23:33,900 --> 01:23:37,700
I don't know about the world, but it's
definitely the biggest one in the room.

1366
01:23:39,020 --> 01:23:41,540
Now, when l started here...

1367
01:23:41,740 --> 01:23:44,620
...l was promised advancement
opportunities.

1368
01:23:44,780 --> 01:23:47,780
And breaking that promise, to me,
is unacceptable.

1369
01:23:49,540 --> 01:23:52,500
You see? l golf also.
You should bring me sometime.

1370
01:23:52,740 --> 01:23:56,780
So when l get out of jail, sometime
in the next two to five years...

1371
01:23:56,940 --> 01:24:01,540
...l expect you to give me the position
that Andrew just resigned from.

1372
01:24:02,220 --> 01:24:04,380
-Okay.
-Great.

1373
01:24:04,580 --> 01:24:06,620
Have fun looking like Colonel Klink.

1374
01:24:09,140 --> 01:24:12,580
By the way, his name is not
Fat-shit Cat, it's Meatball...

1375
01:24:12,740 --> 01:24:15,300
...and he's eating your crab cakes
right now.

1376
01:24:20,980 --> 01:24:24,740
-You starting to get excited?
-Are you kidding? l'm out of my mind.

1377
01:24:24,900 --> 01:24:26,500
This is going to be some night.

1378
01:24:29,220 --> 01:24:30,860
Come on. Come on.

1379
01:24:40,300 --> 01:24:43,380
-Dr. B, how's it going?
-Very well, thank you.

1380
01:24:43,940 --> 01:24:45,940
Always a thrill. Right this way.

1381
01:24:48,940 --> 01:24:51,020
Where the hell's a spot?
Where's a spot?

1382
01:24:52,300 --> 01:24:53,340
Whoa! Watch it, man!

1383
01:24:53,500 --> 01:24:53,660
Your attention, please.

1384
01:24:53,660 --> 01:24:55,020
Your attention, please.

1385
01:24:55,180 --> 01:24:56,940
Before tonight's National Anthem...

1386
01:24:57,100 --> 01:25:00,060
...Metropolitan Opera star Robert
Merrill...

1387
01:25:00,220 --> 01:25:04,780
...will present a special moment
for two special people.

1388
01:25:05,020 --> 01:25:06,940
I love when they do this.

1389
01:25:07,900 --> 01:25:11,460
-Good.
-Ladies and gentlemen, Robert Merrill.

1390
01:25:25,900 --> 01:25:27,780
Linda?! Linda!

1391
01:25:45,260 --> 01:25:48,020
What the hell do you think
you're doing?

1392
01:25:48,940 --> 01:25:50,340
Wait, don't l know you?

1393
01:25:50,540 --> 01:25:52,380
-Come on.
-Where's your German accent?

1394
01:25:56,940 --> 01:25:58,700
You have me confused
with somebody--

1395
01:25:58,860 --> 01:26:01,420
I wanna get on the field.
I'm a fan of Mr. Merrill's.

1396
01:26:01,580 --> 01:26:04,100
-There's no fans allowed on that field.
-Galaxia.

1397
01:26:05,140 --> 01:26:06,100
It's Gary.

1398
01:26:06,260 --> 01:26:09,780
Whatever. Someone else will marry
my woman if you don't let me go.

1399
01:26:11,220 --> 01:26:14,180
-Hebrew Melvin's in love.
-Very much.

1400
01:26:15,700 --> 01:26:17,700
I can't stop love.

1401
01:26:17,940 --> 01:26:19,660
-Go.
-Thank you.

1402
01:26:21,100 --> 01:26:24,220
Don't think l don't owe you
a couple smacks by the way.

1403
01:26:25,260 --> 01:26:28,940
Good evening. Tonight, romance
comes to Yankee Stadium.

1404
01:26:31,100 --> 01:26:33,340
Oh, my God, it's Dave.

1405
01:26:33,820 --> 01:26:35,540
What the heck are you doing here?

1406
01:26:35,780 --> 01:26:38,100
-I wanna borrow this for a second.
-That's my mike!

1407
01:26:38,260 --> 01:26:39,700
Linda? Where are you?

1408
01:26:40,380 --> 01:26:41,620
Don't move.

1409
01:26:42,060 --> 01:26:44,420
Linda? Are you out there, honey?

1410
01:26:45,940 --> 01:26:47,900
Linda, l'm not mad at you.

1411
01:26:51,020 --> 01:26:52,100
Oh, shit.

1412
01:26:54,580 --> 01:26:56,540
I know that crazy man
brought you here.

1413
01:26:58,660 --> 01:27:00,500
Davey's going crazy!

1414
01:27:00,660 --> 01:27:03,340
I've done crazier stuff than that
to win back a chick.

1415
01:27:03,500 --> 01:27:05,500
Once l ran naked
through a subway station.

1416
01:27:05,660 --> 01:27:07,020
How was that supposed to work?

1417
01:27:07,500 --> 01:27:09,780
I guess l never really
thought it through.

1418
01:27:11,620 --> 01:27:13,780
I gotta tell you something personal!

1419
01:27:14,900 --> 01:27:16,420
This kid lost his marbles.

1420
01:27:18,340 --> 01:27:19,780
I'm over here!

1421
01:27:21,780 --> 01:27:24,500
Linda, think about
what you're doing to us.

1422
01:27:26,980 --> 01:27:28,500
Sweet tackle. Wow!

1423
01:27:28,660 --> 01:27:30,540
Dave just got leveled!

1424
01:27:31,540 --> 01:27:34,980
-Nobody messes with my microphone.
-I'm sorry.

1425
01:27:35,260 --> 01:27:36,540
Bob?

1426
01:27:37,620 --> 01:27:39,820
-Everything all right, Buddy?
-Oh, yeah.

1427
01:27:39,980 --> 01:27:41,660
I've never seen you so excited.

1428
01:27:41,820 --> 01:27:44,460
It's not every day a man
gets to propose marriage...

1429
01:27:44,620 --> 01:27:46,100
...to the woman he loves.

1430
01:27:46,260 --> 01:27:48,980
Now, here's what l want you to write
on the scoreboard.

1431
01:27:49,140 --> 01:27:52,820
Linda! Linda, l've loved you
since the day l met you!

1432
01:27:52,980 --> 01:27:55,060
I won't let you do this to us!

1433
01:27:56,460 --> 01:27:58,220
Don't marry him!

1434
01:27:58,540 --> 01:27:59,980
Don't marry him!

1435
01:28:01,260 --> 01:28:02,980
Wait!

1436
01:28:03,780 --> 01:28:06,300
Let this man finish
what he came here to say.

1437
01:28:07,180 --> 01:28:08,340
Let the man back in.

1438
01:28:08,500 --> 01:28:11,660
-Who was that guy?
-I think it's Regis Philbin.

1439
01:28:14,060 --> 01:28:17,100
Thank you, Mayor Giuliani.
You're the man, by the way.

1440
01:28:18,860 --> 01:28:21,660
This clown better hurry up.
My arm's starting to ice over.

1441
01:28:21,820 --> 01:28:24,220
Chill, Rocket. Goosfraba.

1442
01:28:24,380 --> 01:28:25,700
Goosfraba.

1443
01:28:26,460 --> 01:28:28,300
Goosfraba.

1444
01:28:31,020 --> 01:28:34,700
I can understand why you wanted
to see other people. I really can.

1445
01:28:35,060 --> 01:28:37,460
Buddy Rydell is a psycho!

1446
01:28:37,940 --> 01:28:40,180
But he was right about one thing.

1447
01:28:41,420 --> 01:28:43,340
I was an angry guy.

1448
01:28:43,860 --> 01:28:45,940
Mainly angry at myself...

1449
01:28:46,100 --> 01:28:49,060
...for letting people treat me like crap
all the time.

1450
01:28:49,460 --> 01:28:51,860
But l don't want to be that angry guy
anymore.

1451
01:28:52,020 --> 01:28:53,380
I wanna change.

1452
01:28:53,700 --> 01:28:54,980
If you give me a chance...

1453
01:28:55,140 --> 01:28:58,820
...l can show you that l got the guts
to stand up for what l believe in.

1454
01:28:58,980 --> 01:29:00,500
And l believe in us, Linda.

1455
01:29:00,780 --> 01:29:04,740
I love you with all my heart,
and l know you love me back.

1456
01:29:05,580 --> 01:29:07,180
I should be your husband...

1457
01:29:07,740 --> 01:29:09,420
...not that weirdo.

1458
01:29:10,860 --> 01:29:15,500
I want to have a family with you.
I want to have kids with you.

1459
01:29:15,660 --> 01:29:18,380
Kids who have your eyes...

1460
01:29:18,540 --> 01:29:19,860
...and your lips...

1461
01:29:20,460 --> 01:29:21,740
...and my...

1462
01:29:22,420 --> 01:29:24,460
...last name.
That's all l wish on them.

1463
01:29:26,540 --> 01:29:28,900
Please marry me, Linda.

1464
01:29:34,420 --> 01:29:37,740
Before l make my decision,
you have to do something for me.

1465
01:29:41,260 --> 01:29:44,300
You have to kiss me
in front of all these people!

1466
01:29:50,060 --> 01:29:51,860
You can do it, David!

1467
01:29:53,740 --> 01:29:55,860
Give her a five-second Frencher!

1468
01:29:59,620 --> 01:30:01,780
Kiss her, David.

1469
01:30:02,660 --> 01:30:04,260
Kiss her, David.

1470
01:30:06,100 --> 01:30:07,860
Kiss her, David!

1471
01:30:08,780 --> 01:30:10,820
Kiss her, David.

1472
01:30:18,060 --> 01:30:20,060
Go Yankees!

1473
01:30:36,700 --> 01:30:38,820
Dave's a dirty boy.

1474
01:30:40,900 --> 01:30:42,420
That wasn't so bad, was it?

1475
01:30:42,900 --> 01:30:47,100
I can't believe you actually
started to fall for that crazy man.

1476
01:30:47,260 --> 01:30:49,540
Buddy's not such a bad guy.

1477
01:30:54,700 --> 01:30:57,780
Congratulations! You just graduated
from anger management!

1478
01:31:19,540 --> 01:31:22,020
I'm glad your car died.
The train's romantic.

1479
01:31:22,180 --> 01:31:23,620
Don't change the subject.

1480
01:31:23,820 --> 01:31:28,460
You're telling me the past two weeks
of my life was just therapy?

1481
01:31:28,660 --> 01:31:29,860
Well....

1482
01:31:30,220 --> 01:31:31,180
Yeah.

1483
01:31:31,500 --> 01:31:33,540
I met with Buddy
after reading his book...

1484
01:31:33,740 --> 01:31:36,940
...and l told him about some
of the things going on in your life...

1485
01:31:37,140 --> 01:31:41,900
...and how upset it was making you
and how nuts it was making me.

1486
01:31:43,500 --> 01:31:46,660
He said that he thought he could help,
but it would be tough.

1487
01:31:46,860 --> 01:31:48,780
So how much of this thing was a
setup?

1488
01:31:49,020 --> 01:31:53,140
Well, the guy in your seat on the
plane, the flight attendant, thejudge...

1489
01:31:53,300 --> 01:31:55,220
...they're all friends of Buddy's.

1490
01:31:55,380 --> 01:31:58,620
What about the air marshal
who tasered me? Was he in on it?

1491
01:31:58,780 --> 01:32:00,540
No, he wasjust having a bad day.

1492
01:32:00,700 --> 01:32:03,180
Son of a bitch.

1493
01:32:14,420 --> 01:32:16,580
Skipper, how you doing?

1494
01:32:18,500 --> 01:32:21,420
Buddy Rydell, you're a great man.

1495
01:32:21,700 --> 01:32:24,940
I was just doing my job.
I never doubted you for a minute.

1496
01:32:25,260 --> 01:32:27,500
Except when Galaxia
had ahold of you.

1497
01:32:29,340 --> 01:32:31,580
Did you just call that guy
Buddy Rydell?

1498
01:32:32,940 --> 01:32:35,660
A guy named Buddy Rydell
left this card...

1499
01:32:35,820 --> 01:32:37,380
...on what's left of my Lexus!

1500
01:32:37,540 --> 01:32:40,020
Oh, yeah. For insurance purposes.

1501
01:32:40,180 --> 01:32:42,060
Your insurance was canceled!

1502
01:32:44,300 --> 01:32:46,060
Grenada!

1503
01:32:46,860 --> 01:32:50,060
Don't point that gun at Buddy.
I'm the one who smashed your car up.

1504
01:32:50,220 --> 01:32:51,300
-Dave?!
-No!

1505
01:32:51,500 --> 01:32:53,060
I'm sick of guys like this.

1506
01:32:53,220 --> 01:32:55,460
You wanna mess with my friends,
shoot me first.

1507
01:32:55,620 --> 01:32:56,780
-Don't!
-Are you crazy?

1508
01:32:57,100 --> 01:32:58,220
Settle down.

1509
01:32:58,380 --> 01:33:00,940
Butt out! Tough guy's
going to learn a lesson.

1510
01:33:02,220 --> 01:33:05,460
I'm not afraid. Dr. Rydell taught me
not to be afraid of anybody.

1511
01:33:07,820 --> 01:33:09,900
Can l ask you a question, though?

1512
01:33:18,260 --> 01:33:19,820
Got you!

1513
01:33:23,660 --> 01:33:26,540
Dr. B, Davey just pulled a joke on us!

1514
01:33:26,740 --> 01:33:28,980
And how does that
make you feel, Lou?

1515
01:33:40,620 --> 01:33:42,420
Chuck.

1516
01:33:42,580 --> 01:33:44,940
We were just doing a joke.
That's my friend.

1517
01:33:45,140 --> 01:33:46,500
Are you okay?

1518
01:33:50,220 --> 01:33:52,580
He feels stunning.