1
00:00:03,533 --> 00:00:06,400
(male narrator)
Previously, on a
very special Clone High...

2
00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:10,300
This is a really long episode,
so I'm gonna go fast.

3
00:00:10,300 --> 00:00:11,733
Joan likes Abe.
Abe's dating Cleo.

4
00:00:11,733 --> 00:00:12,867
It's a crazy love triangle.

5
00:00:12,867 --> 00:00:14,433
Let's start the show.

6
00:00:14,433 --> 00:00:16,800
(Abandoned Pools singing)
* Way, way back in the 1980s

7
00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:19,733
* Secret government employees

8
00:00:19,733 --> 00:00:22,633
* Dug up famous
guys and ladies *

9
00:00:22,633 --> 00:00:25,667
* And made amusing
genetic copies *

10
00:00:25,667 --> 00:00:28,467
* Now the clones
are sexy teens now *

11
00:00:28,467 --> 00:00:31,300
* They're going to make it
if they try *

12
00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:34,533
* Loving, learning,
sharing, judging *

13
00:00:34,533 --> 00:00:40,533
* Time to laugh
and shiver and cry *

14
00:00:40,533 --> 00:00:43,267
* Clone High

15
00:00:43,267 --> 00:00:48,933
* Clone High

16
00:00:48,933 --> 00:00:52,933
(Toots)
It all started
when folks around here

17
00:00:52,933 --> 00:00:55,433
noticed a storm was a-brewing.

18
00:00:55,433 --> 00:00:56,667
[dramatic music]

19
00:00:56,667 --> 00:00:59,300
[shutters clanging]

20
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:00,367
[shutters slam shut]

21
00:01:00,367 --> 00:01:01,633
Brr.

22
00:01:01,633 --> 00:01:03,467
Storm's a-brewing.

23
00:01:03,467 --> 00:01:05,867
[chair creaking]

24
00:01:05,867 --> 00:01:08,700
[lightning cracking]

25
00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:11,633
Storm's a-brewing.

26
00:01:11,633 --> 00:01:13,633
[lightning cracks]

27
00:01:13,633 --> 00:01:15,733
Storm's a-brewing...

28
00:01:15,733 --> 00:01:17,200
in my heart.

29
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:18,200
[door creaks]

30
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:19,967
[slurred]
Cleopatra.

31
00:01:19,967 --> 00:01:22,067
I thought I told you--

32
00:01:22,067 --> 00:01:23,400
Oh, spin the bottle.

33
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:24,333
Can I play?

34
00:01:25,467 --> 00:01:26,467
[lightning cracks]

35
00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:27,533
Now, listen here.

36
00:01:27,533 --> 00:01:29,433
I may be blind,

37
00:01:29,433 --> 00:01:32,233
but don't worry about
this storm, Joan of Arc.

38
00:01:32,233 --> 00:01:35,400
I built this house
like Noah built his ark:

39
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:36,700
ready for a flood.

40
00:01:36,700 --> 00:01:37,700
Yep.

41
00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:39,167
This house...

42
00:01:39,167 --> 00:01:40,233
is flood-proof.

43
00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:41,767
[lightning cracks]

44
00:01:41,767 --> 00:01:44,767
[fire crackling]

45
00:01:44,767 --> 00:01:46,733
It's gone, Toots.

46
00:01:46,733 --> 00:01:49,067
All gone.

47
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,700
What a terrible flood.

48
00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:51,867
[oar screeching]

49
00:01:51,867 --> 00:01:53,067
Holler when you see land,
Joanie.

50
00:01:53,067 --> 00:01:54,067
[oar screeching]

51
00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:55,300
Holler when you see land.

52
00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:56,300
[oar screeching]

53
00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:59,300
[rock music]

54
00:01:59,300 --> 00:02:00,933
*

55
00:02:00,933 --> 00:02:02,300
(Abe)
Joan, are you okay?

56
00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:04,433
We heard about
your house burning down.

57
00:02:04,433 --> 00:02:05,433
It's okay, Abe.

58
00:02:05,433 --> 00:02:06,800
I don't need
your pity.

59
00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:09,067
Is it true you're living
under the gym bleachers?

60
00:02:09,067 --> 00:02:11,067
And I really
don't need your pity.

61
00:02:11,067 --> 00:02:12,900
So where do we put
the canned goods?

62
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,700
'Cause I brought you
some beef broth.

63
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:16,133
It's still good, just dented.

64
00:02:16,133 --> 00:02:17,400
I'm a vegetarian.

65
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,433
And here's a musty old
Hypercolor shirt

66
00:02:19,433 --> 00:02:20,700
I found in our dust rag drawer.

67
00:02:20,700 --> 00:02:22,333
I know it's out of style,

68
00:02:22,333 --> 00:02:25,567
but you poor people don't care
about that sort of thing, right?

69
00:02:25,567 --> 00:02:27,500
I'll can you good,
I will.

70
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:28,500
Girls.

71
00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:30,100
Girls, please.

72
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:32,300
You know how I feel
about conflict.

73
00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:34,200
I'm against it.

74
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:35,733
Now, I love you both.

75
00:02:35,733 --> 00:02:37,400
One in a completely
platonic way,

76
00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:39,100
the other with a fiery passion

77
00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:41,867
that most people know
but once in a lifetime.

78
00:02:41,867 --> 00:02:43,400
By the way,
that one's not you, Joan.

79
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:44,600
It's Cleo.

80
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,633
Well, I'm glad
we had this talk.

81
00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:48,500
Now, let's never
speak of this again.

82
00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:50,367
[shoes pattering]

83
00:02:50,367 --> 00:02:52,767
Mail call.

84
00:02:52,767 --> 00:02:54,300
[gasps]

85
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:56,767
Oh, calligraphy!

86
00:02:56,767 --> 00:02:57,767
[gasps]

87
00:02:57,767 --> 00:02:59,467
I've finally been invited

88
00:02:59,467 --> 00:03:03,167
to the annual high society
principal's ball.

89
00:03:03,167 --> 00:03:05,700
This year, it's being held
in the ballroom

90
00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:07,267
at the local pie factory.

91
00:03:07,267 --> 00:03:09,400
So much classier than
the ballroom

92
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,567
at the seltzer factory.

93
00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:16,067
Mr. Butlertron, I'd be honored
if you'd be my plus one.

94
00:03:16,067 --> 00:03:18,633
I'm walking on sunshine.

95
00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:20,533
Whoa-whoa.

96
00:03:22,633 --> 00:03:25,967
(both)
High society, here we come.

97
00:03:25,967 --> 00:03:27,200
- Yippety ta-ta.
- * Yip, ta-ta

98
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,433
- Yippety ta-ta.
- * Yip, ta-ta

99
00:03:28,433 --> 00:03:30,300
- Yippety ta-ta.
- * Yip, ta-ta

100
00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:32,233
[rock music]

101
00:03:32,233 --> 00:03:34,233
Welcome to the Grassy Knoll.

102
00:03:34,233 --> 00:03:37,767
Try our new smoothie,
the Jack Ruby red berry blast.

103
00:03:37,767 --> 00:03:39,067
Sure.

104
00:03:39,067 --> 00:03:40,700
Can I, err,
uh...

105
00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:42,633
add melons to that?

106
00:03:42,633 --> 00:03:44,067
[laughs]

107
00:03:44,067 --> 00:03:45,167
Melons.

108
00:03:45,167 --> 00:03:46,867
And, uh...

109
00:03:46,867 --> 00:03:47,867
coconuts?

110
00:03:47,867 --> 00:03:48,867
(Gandhi)
Yeah!

111
00:03:48,867 --> 00:03:50,867
Can I get yams?

112
00:03:50,867 --> 00:03:52,633
Hey, find your own joke, shorty.

113
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:54,467
The booby bit is mine.

114
00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:58,133
I would like to add
some cans of milk.

115
00:03:58,133 --> 00:03:59,133
[laughs]

116
00:03:59,133 --> 00:04:00,200
Yeah!

117
00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:01,867
And some jugs
of cream.

118
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:02,867
[laughs]

119
00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:04,267
That's it, pal.

120
00:04:04,267 --> 00:04:07,133
You just ordered yourself up
a knuckle sandwich.

121
00:04:07,133 --> 00:04:08,900
(all)
Fight! Fight!
Fight!

122
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:10,867
- Fight! Fight!
- Oh, my God!

123
00:04:10,867 --> 00:04:11,900
Fight!

124
00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:14,067
Guys, guys, please!

125
00:04:14,067 --> 00:04:16,200
I have the DNA
of Abraham Lincoln.

126
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,867
Resolving disputes
is in my nature.

127
00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:20,633
Now, why don't we all take
a deep breath.

128
00:04:20,633 --> 00:04:21,900
[Gandhi grunting]

129
00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:24,367
How do you like
that berry blast?

130
00:04:24,367 --> 00:04:26,667
And by berry blast,
I mean...

131
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:29,300
a blast to your berries.

132
00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:30,300
[laughs]

133
00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:31,300
[spits]

134
00:04:31,300 --> 00:04:32,467
Pun thief.

135
00:04:32,467 --> 00:04:33,733
Huh.

136
00:04:33,733 --> 00:04:37,867
Conflict mediation seminar,
here I come.

137
00:04:37,867 --> 00:04:39,633
(King, Jr.)
I had a dream.

138
00:04:39,633 --> 00:04:43,067
A dream we'd have
ham and cheese sandwiches

139
00:04:43,067 --> 00:04:44,267
for lunch.

140
00:04:44,267 --> 00:04:46,867
But, Moses, you are shattering
my dream.

141
00:04:46,867 --> 00:04:49,533
But Martin Luther King, Jr.

142
00:04:49,533 --> 00:04:51,267
You know I'm a Jew

143
00:04:51,267 --> 00:04:54,067
and also
lactose intolerant.

144
00:04:54,067 --> 00:04:55,700
Freeze!

145
00:04:55,700 --> 00:04:59,300
Now let's resolve this fight
using conflict mediation.

146
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:02,833
Try passing this egg
from one spoon to another

147
00:05:02,833 --> 00:05:04,400
using only your mouths.

148
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:07,500
[metal clinks]

149
00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:08,767
Wow.

150
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:11,833
I never saw it from
that perspective before.

151
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:13,133
Me either.

152
00:05:13,133 --> 00:05:17,067
I now realize I should
be more tolerant of lactose.

153
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,067
[applause]

154
00:05:19,067 --> 00:05:21,067
Welcome home, Abe.

155
00:05:21,067 --> 00:05:23,067
Welcome home.

156
00:05:23,067 --> 00:05:24,333
- Yippety ta-ta.
- * Yip, ta-ta

157
00:05:24,333 --> 00:05:26,067
- Yippety ta-ta.
- * Yip, ta-ta

158
00:05:26,067 --> 00:05:27,067
Principal Scudworth.

159
00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:28,067
[singing stops abruptly]

160
00:05:28,067 --> 00:05:30,400
I trust we're not...

161
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:31,333
interrupting.

162
00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:33,667
Um...

163
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,900
No.

164
00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:36,533
We have a little present
for you, Cinnamon.

165
00:05:36,533 --> 00:05:38,767
It's a token of our thanks
for going one full year

166
00:05:38,767 --> 00:05:40,533
without planning
your own suspicious plot

167
00:05:40,533 --> 00:05:42,133
behind our backs.

168
00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:44,367
[door creaks]

169
00:05:44,367 --> 00:05:45,600
[Principal Scudworth gasps]

170
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:48,567
A toy robotic dog?

171
00:05:48,567 --> 00:05:50,500
The perfect present!

172
00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:53,733
Clearly expensive, yet something
I would never buy for myself.

173
00:05:53,733 --> 00:05:55,067
It shows you care

174
00:05:55,067 --> 00:05:58,067
but don't really know
anything about me.

175
00:05:58,067 --> 00:05:59,300
I love it!

176
00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:01,833
His name is ECyboPooch.

177
00:06:01,833 --> 00:06:03,067
Finally!

178
00:06:03,067 --> 00:06:06,567
A robot to love
and call my very own.

179
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:08,133
[squeaks]

180
00:06:08,133 --> 00:06:09,133
What?

181
00:06:09,133 --> 00:06:10,167
[electronic whirr]

182
00:06:10,167 --> 00:06:11,800
(Cleopatra)
Okay, guys.

183
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:14,067
With the nonperishable foods,
keep in mind

184
00:06:14,067 --> 00:06:16,367
that you can totally take
the wrapper off cat food,

185
00:06:16,367 --> 00:06:17,467
and they'll think it's tuna.

186
00:06:17,467 --> 00:06:18,900
(Toots)
Mm-mm.

187
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:20,833
Joan, your friends
sure are generous.

188
00:06:20,833 --> 00:06:22,733
Wait.
Cleo is not my friend.

189
00:06:22,733 --> 00:06:24,833
That ho bag is just
pretending to care

190
00:06:24,833 --> 00:06:27,067
to make me feel even worse
about being homeless.

191
00:06:27,067 --> 00:06:30,233
Well, you don't have to worry
about that anymore, Joanie.

192
00:06:30,233 --> 00:06:32,900
'Cause I found us
a big old house to live in.

193
00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:33,900
Really?

194
00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:35,300
Now, as you know,

195
00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:37,067
I've been courting
a fine-looking lady friend

196
00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:38,567
for a while now.

197
00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:41,900
And she's generously offered
to let us move into her home.

198
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:43,867
Cleo's drunk foster mom,

199
00:06:43,867 --> 00:06:45,100
come on out here, girl.

200
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:46,433
[grunting]

201
00:06:46,433 --> 00:06:47,833
Cleo's mom?

202
00:06:47,833 --> 00:06:50,367
She has a daughter
about your age too.

203
00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:52,800
Now, I don't really recall
the girl's name.

204
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,867
Something like
Cle-gloo--

205
00:06:54,867 --> 00:06:56,133
Cledis--
Cle--Cledis.

206
00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:57,467
That's it--Cledis.
Her name's Cledis.

207
00:06:57,467 --> 00:06:58,667
No, that's not it.

208
00:06:58,667 --> 00:07:00,933
Anyway, I'm sure you two
will get along.

209
00:07:00,933 --> 00:07:02,067
[wind blowing]

210
00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:05,067
[thunder clapping]

211
00:07:05,067 --> 00:07:05,933
[wind blowing]

212
00:07:08,467 --> 00:07:11,267
[thunder clapping]

213
00:07:11,267 --> 00:07:13,467
[dramatic music]

214
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:15,467
Storm's still
a-brewing.

215
00:07:15,467 --> 00:07:16,467
[lighting cracks]

216
00:07:16,467 --> 00:07:18,100
Metaphorically, too.

217
00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:20,300
[humming]

218
00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:21,867
[slurping]

219
00:07:21,867 --> 00:07:23,967
It's so nice I don't have to
drive all the way over here

220
00:07:23,967 --> 00:07:26,233
when I want to make sweet,
sweaty music with you,

221
00:07:26,233 --> 00:07:28,600
Cleo's drunk foster mom.

222
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,733
[whispering]
I got to speak in code

223
00:07:30,733 --> 00:07:33,633
so the kids don't know
what I'm talking about.

224
00:07:33,633 --> 00:07:36,633
[grunting]

225
00:07:36,633 --> 00:07:37,567
How you like that there?

226
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:41,833
I never thought hell
would be this pink.

227
00:07:41,833 --> 00:07:42,933
[drawer squeaks]

228
00:07:42,933 --> 00:07:45,433
You can put all your stuff
in here.

229
00:07:45,433 --> 00:07:46,833
If we're gonna
share a room,

230
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,800
I just need you to sign
this confidentiality agreement.

231
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,967
It prohibits you
from discussing such things

232
00:07:51,967 --> 00:07:53,600
as my pre-makeup
morning face

233
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,800
and my mid-afternoon
bowel movement.

234
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:56,967
Hey, hey.

235
00:07:56,967 --> 00:07:58,633
How are my two favorite girls?

236
00:07:58,633 --> 00:08:00,067
Abe, remind me.

237
00:08:00,067 --> 00:08:02,100
Now, do you like Cleo
'cause she's conceited

238
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:03,933
or 'cause she's a whore?

239
00:08:03,933 --> 00:08:05,900
[laughing]
Whoa!

240
00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:06,900
[laughs]

241
00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:07,900
Yeah, and Abe.

242
00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:09,367
Remind me.

243
00:08:09,367 --> 00:08:11,367
Is Joan your best friend
because of some elaborate joke,

244
00:08:11,367 --> 00:08:12,367
or is it sympathy?

245
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,633
[laughs heartily]

246
00:08:14,633 --> 00:08:16,333
That's rich.

247
00:08:16,333 --> 00:08:17,500
But, seriously,

248
00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:19,567
maybe I can help
resolve your conflict

249
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:22,433
in an efficient,
yet ineffectual manner.

250
00:08:22,433 --> 00:08:24,433
Who's up for a trust game?

251
00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:28,700
Joan, you fall backwards
into Cleo's arms.

252
00:08:28,700 --> 00:08:31,667
And, Cleo, you catch Joan
to show she can rely on you.

253
00:08:31,667 --> 00:08:33,567
I'm so confident you two
can work this out,

254
00:08:33,567 --> 00:08:36,300
I'm not even gonna stay
to watch the magic.

255
00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:37,700
Proceed.

256
00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:39,400
*

257
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:40,333
[thud!]

258
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:42,967
*

259
00:08:42,967 --> 00:08:45,267
[thunder claps]

260
00:08:45,267 --> 00:08:46,733
(Mr. Butlertron)
Oh, Wesley.

261
00:08:46,733 --> 00:08:49,300
I can't wait
for the principal's ball.

262
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:52,167
I hammered out the dents
in my good tuxedo.

263
00:08:52,167 --> 00:08:54,067
Not now, Mr. B.

264
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,300
I'm learning how to use
ECyboPooch.

265
00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:57,633
Ooh.

266
00:08:57,633 --> 00:09:00,367
It says if you
stroke his sensor,

267
00:09:00,367 --> 00:09:03,133
he wags his tail.

268
00:09:03,133 --> 00:09:04,767
How lifelike!

269
00:09:04,767 --> 00:09:06,067
(Mr. Butlertron)
Lifelike?

270
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:08,967
I can hold complex
conversations with you

271
00:09:08,967 --> 00:09:11,333
in two distinct intonations.

272
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:15,767
And if I hit Enter, Command,
F4, Turbo, Turbo, Select,

273
00:09:15,767 --> 00:09:17,467
and then clap twice,

274
00:09:17,467 --> 00:09:19,700
ECyboPooch will sit up
and bark!

275
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:21,200
[thudding]

276
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:22,267
[laughs]

277
00:09:22,267 --> 00:09:23,600
What a cutie pie!

278
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:24,633
[tuxedo clangs]

279
00:09:24,633 --> 00:09:26,167
Don't be fooled.

280
00:09:26,167 --> 00:09:27,867
That mangy mutt
is up to no good.

281
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:32,533
Mr. B, I will not tolerate
your unfounded paranoia!

282
00:09:32,533 --> 00:09:36,100
ECyboPooch is part
of this family,

283
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:39,167
and he deserves your e-respect.

284
00:09:39,167 --> 00:09:43,833
Well, I wish I was never born
into this stupid family.

285
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,867
(Principal Scudworth)
Oh, well then that's it!

286
00:09:45,867 --> 00:09:48,567
You're not cooking
me dinner tonight.

287
00:09:48,567 --> 00:09:50,800
[yelling]
How do you like that?

288
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,567
(Gandhi)
Oh, yeah.

289
00:09:52,567 --> 00:09:55,200
Joan and Cleo living together.

290
00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:57,200
If that curtain wasn't there,
I'd be seeing

291
00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:00,700
some naughty babe-on-chick
action right about now.

292
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:01,700
[laughs]

293
00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:02,867
Hey, what gives?

294
00:10:02,867 --> 00:10:04,133
First you steal my jokes,

295
00:10:04,133 --> 00:10:06,033
now my peeping bush?

296
00:10:06,033 --> 00:10:08,700
I'm counting to ten,
and then sock-o.

297
00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:09,700
Shut up.

298
00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:10,900
You shut up.

299
00:10:10,900 --> 00:10:12,433
No...

300
00:10:12,433 --> 00:10:13,700
you shut up.

301
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:14,833
[gasps]

302
00:10:14,833 --> 00:10:17,367
Did you just tell me
to shut up?

303
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:18,500
I did.

304
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:19,567
- Shut up.
- Shut up.

305
00:10:19,567 --> 00:10:20,567
- Shut up.
- Shut up.

306
00:10:20,567 --> 00:10:22,400
- Shut up!
- Shut up.

307
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:25,267
[both yelling]
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

308
00:10:25,267 --> 00:10:27,567
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

309
00:10:27,567 --> 00:10:30,700
[yelling
indistinctly]

310
00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:33,200
[thud!]

311
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:38,767
*

312
00:10:38,767 --> 00:10:39,967
(Abe)
Psst.

313
00:10:39,967 --> 00:10:41,533
Joan.

314
00:10:41,533 --> 00:10:43,067
You're a girl,
right?

315
00:10:43,067 --> 00:10:44,733
Do you know how
to remove a bra?

316
00:10:44,733 --> 00:10:46,467
[growls]

317
00:10:46,467 --> 00:10:48,167
I mean, do you step into it
like pants,

318
00:10:48,167 --> 00:10:50,400
or pull it over
like a shirt?

319
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,333
Why don't you just
take the tissues out,

320
00:10:52,333 --> 00:10:53,333
and it'll fall off.

321
00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:54,500
[gasps]

322
00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:55,867
You signed the nondisclosure
agreement.

323
00:10:55,867 --> 00:10:57,433
I hope you have
good lawyers

324
00:10:57,433 --> 00:10:59,433
'cause I'm gonna sue your
hand-me-down pants off,

325
00:10:59,433 --> 00:11:00,500
bleacher trash.

326
00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:02,467
Girls, girls, girls.

327
00:11:02,467 --> 00:11:04,067
You're both human beings.

328
00:11:04,067 --> 00:11:07,167
You both put your bras on
one leg at a time.

329
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,300
In my conflict mediation
seminar,

330
00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:11,900
we learn to channel
the cold pricklies

331
00:11:11,900 --> 00:11:13,300
that divide us

332
00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:16,167
into warm fuzzies
that unite us...

333
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,500
By painting
our emotions.

334
00:11:20,567 --> 00:11:21,667
Huh?

335
00:11:21,667 --> 00:11:22,900
I'll get the smocks.

336
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:24,867
And I know what I'm gonna paint:

337
00:11:24,867 --> 00:11:26,300
a dividing line...

338
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:27,633
right down the middle
of the room.

339
00:11:27,633 --> 00:11:28,733
Great.

340
00:11:28,733 --> 00:11:29,933
That sort of thing
works out

341
00:11:29,933 --> 00:11:32,267
on situation comedies
all the time.

342
00:11:32,267 --> 00:11:33,267
[thunder cracks]

343
00:11:33,267 --> 00:11:35,900
[dramatic music]

344
00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:38,900
[cheery music]

345
00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:40,133
*

346
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,367
So how are the conflicts?

347
00:11:42,367 --> 00:11:44,467
Mediated?

348
00:11:44,467 --> 00:11:45,400
Hello?

349
00:11:49,967 --> 00:11:51,233
Dinger.

350
00:11:51,233 --> 00:11:52,567
Abe,
get down.

351
00:11:52,567 --> 00:11:53,567
Down!

352
00:11:53,567 --> 00:11:55,533
[Joan yelling]

353
00:11:55,533 --> 00:11:57,333
[rock music]

354
00:11:57,333 --> 00:11:59,267
Joan's gone crazy
since we divided the room.

355
00:11:59,267 --> 00:12:01,233
She's like a monkey
in every way!

356
00:12:01,233 --> 00:12:03,067
*

357
00:12:03,067 --> 00:12:05,833
(Abe)
I sure didn't think you'd paint
the line horizontally.

358
00:12:05,833 --> 00:12:07,267
Bunk beds, Abe.

359
00:12:07,267 --> 00:12:08,267
Think!

360
00:12:08,267 --> 00:12:09,267
[groans]

361
00:12:09,267 --> 00:12:11,500
*

362
00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:13,233
Yankee go home.

363
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:14,733
*

364
00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:16,900
Okay, I'm hearing
that Cleo is saying

365
00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:18,767
she would be respectful of Joan
if she--

366
00:12:18,767 --> 00:12:20,833
Die, Dixie slut.

367
00:12:20,833 --> 00:12:23,067
And Joan brings a good point
to the table.

368
00:12:23,067 --> 00:12:25,800
*

369
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:26,833
That's enough.

370
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,100
[cat meows]

371
00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:30,900
Joan in the north
and Cleo in the south,

372
00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:33,333
hear me when I say:

373
00:12:33,333 --> 00:12:36,900
a bedroom divided against itself
cannot stand.

374
00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:37,933
[flames whoosh]

375
00:12:37,933 --> 00:12:38,933
[lighter clicks]

376
00:12:38,933 --> 00:12:40,467
[flames whooshing]

377
00:12:40,467 --> 00:12:43,367
(man)
* There's battle lines
that bisect *

378
00:12:43,367 --> 00:12:45,467
[explosion]

379
00:12:45,467 --> 00:12:46,467
* Nobody's correct *

380
00:12:46,467 --> 00:12:47,500
[glass shatters]

381
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,967
* If everybody's incorrect *

382
00:12:48,967 --> 00:12:50,100
*

383
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:51,500
[gasps]

384
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:52,700
(man)
* Folks fighting everywhere
you go *

385
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:53,700
Hmm?

386
00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:54,833
[smacking]

387
00:12:54,833 --> 00:12:55,933
Huh?

388
00:12:55,933 --> 00:12:57,067
(man)
* Let he without sin

389
00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:58,067
* Cast the first stone

390
00:12:58,067 --> 00:12:59,367
[gasps]

391
00:12:59,367 --> 00:13:00,767
(man)
* Let's say we pause talking *

392
00:13:00,767 --> 00:13:02,067
* Do-da, day

393
00:13:02,067 --> 00:13:04,600
* What's so civil
about war anyway? *

394
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,300
*

395
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:08,300
* Get it?

396
00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:10,833
*

397
00:13:16,333 --> 00:13:18,133
[water splashes]

398
00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:25,067
[dramatic music]

399
00:13:25,067 --> 00:13:27,800
Cuff link me so we can get
your stupid principal's ball

400
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:28,800
over with.

401
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,233
Huh.

402
00:13:30,233 --> 00:13:32,233
There's something
I was supposed to tell you.

403
00:13:32,233 --> 00:13:34,800
[metal clicking]

404
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,400
[gasps]

405
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,400
Bollocks.

406
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,300
You selfish meat-filled clog.

407
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:43,200
Oh, real mature, Mr. Jerkatron.

408
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,800
You know if I don't spend time
with ECyboPooch

409
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,367
his eyes dim.

410
00:13:47,367 --> 00:13:51,067
Oh, at least I'm not
a giant pompous china doll

411
00:13:51,067 --> 00:13:54,100
whose evil plans
suck the devil's ass.

412
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,900
That's right,
Wesley.

413
00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:58,933
Find yourself
a new best friend.

414
00:13:58,933 --> 00:14:00,400
[mockingly]
Oh!

415
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:04,800
Wherever will I find
a new best friend?

416
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,967
Pound, nine,
clap, clap, enter!

417
00:14:07,967 --> 00:14:08,967
[ECyboPooch barks]

418
00:14:08,967 --> 00:14:10,400
[pants]

419
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:14,433
I'll expect your resignation
on my desk in the morning.

420
00:14:14,433 --> 00:14:16,833
Oh, and, Lynn?

421
00:14:16,833 --> 00:14:19,567
I know which CDs are mine.

422
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,233
*

423
00:14:21,233 --> 00:14:24,233
[muttering indistinctly]

424
00:14:24,233 --> 00:14:26,300
[wood cracking]

425
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:29,300
[muttering angrily]

426
00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:31,067
[gasps]

427
00:14:31,067 --> 00:14:32,067
[wind howling]

428
00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:33,067
[paper rustling]

429
00:14:33,067 --> 00:14:36,300
*

430
00:14:36,300 --> 00:14:38,500
Oh, original Abe Lincoln.

431
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:40,600
There's so much conflict.

432
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:41,900
I wish there was some way

433
00:14:41,900 --> 00:14:44,167
I could find out
what you would do.

434
00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:45,567
Wait a minute!

435
00:14:45,567 --> 00:14:48,700
Original Abe Lincoln, eh?

436
00:14:48,700 --> 00:14:51,133
[lively music]

437
00:14:51,133 --> 00:14:52,933
[electronic whirring]

438
00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:53,967
[feet thud]

439
00:14:53,967 --> 00:14:56,900
And now,
señors and señoritas,

440
00:14:56,900 --> 00:15:01,767
introducing el 16th presidente
of Los Estados Unidos,

441
00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:04,433
Abraham Lincoln.

442
00:15:05,567 --> 00:15:08,233
Wow, robomatronic
Abraham Lincoln.

443
00:15:08,233 --> 00:15:09,567
He's so realistic.

444
00:15:09,567 --> 00:15:12,533
I mean, they really
captured my grace.

445
00:15:12,533 --> 00:15:14,600
Fervently we do pray

446
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,700
that this mighty scourge of war

447
00:15:16,700 --> 00:15:18,567
may speedily pass away.

448
00:15:18,567 --> 00:15:21,067
Yes, all the fighting
should be stopped.

449
00:15:21,067 --> 00:15:22,800
Oh, great stuff,
great--oh.

450
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:23,800
This is good.

451
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,367
I got to get some of this down.

452
00:15:26,367 --> 00:15:28,167
And, fellow Americans,

453
00:15:28,167 --> 00:15:31,733
as we weave the fabric
of our nation back together,

454
00:15:31,733 --> 00:15:33,600
I say to you,

455
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,433
try the churros.

456
00:15:36,433 --> 00:15:37,433
[electronic whirring]

457
00:15:37,433 --> 00:15:39,567
I will, Mr. President.

458
00:15:39,567 --> 00:15:41,400
I will.

459
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,333
Now, y'all keep
your Yankee arms

460
00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:45,733
and carpet binder legs
inside the boat,

461
00:15:45,733 --> 00:15:49,300
'cause you're fixing to enter
Ford's Theatre.

462
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:51,233
Whee!

463
00:15:51,233 --> 00:15:52,700
[gunshot]

464
00:15:52,700 --> 00:15:54,233
[suspenseful music]

465
00:15:54,233 --> 00:15:55,867
[thunder cracking]

466
00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:57,633
Are you trying
to smother me to death?

467
00:15:57,633 --> 00:15:58,800
Oh, I'm sorry.

468
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,567
I didn't see you there.

469
00:16:00,567 --> 00:16:02,600
You're so flat-chested.

470
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,600
[thudding]

471
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:07,300
Enough fooling around.

472
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,300
Choose your pillow,

473
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,233
'cause it is on.

474
00:16:10,233 --> 00:16:12,100
[smack!]

475
00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:13,467
[smack!]

476
00:16:13,467 --> 00:16:14,467
[gasps]

477
00:16:14,467 --> 00:16:15,467
[thud!]

478
00:16:15,467 --> 00:16:17,400
[both grunting]

479
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:18,400
[gasps]

480
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,333
[both grunting]

481
00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:21,333
[spits]

482
00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:22,333
Look.

483
00:16:22,333 --> 00:16:24,067
Holy Toledo.

484
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:26,300
They're fighting
in their skivvies!

485
00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:29,300
[Yakety Sax playing]

486
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:35,233
*

487
00:16:35,233 --> 00:16:36,233
[bra snaps]

488
00:16:36,233 --> 00:16:37,233
[boing!]

489
00:16:37,233 --> 00:16:40,333
*

490
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,267
[whistle blows]

491
00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:44,533
*

492
00:16:44,533 --> 00:16:46,067
[whistle blows]

493
00:16:46,067 --> 00:16:49,067
[quiet, solemn music]

494
00:16:49,067 --> 00:16:51,133
*

495
00:16:51,133 --> 00:16:52,633
[whistles]

496
00:16:52,633 --> 00:16:54,300
Classy.

497
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:57,300
[Yakety Sax playing]

498
00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:59,200
*

499
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,233
I am pleased
as punch.

500
00:17:01,233 --> 00:17:03,200
There is an impenetrable
slide curtain

501
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,967
between the ballroom and
the rest of the pie factory.

502
00:17:05,967 --> 00:17:06,967
[solemn music]

503
00:17:06,967 --> 00:17:07,967
[crashing]

504
00:17:07,967 --> 00:17:09,567
[all yelling]

505
00:17:09,567 --> 00:17:11,533
[Yakety Sax playing]

506
00:17:11,533 --> 00:17:12,867
[pies squishing]

507
00:17:12,867 --> 00:17:14,500
Well, I never.

508
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:16,400
This is an outrage.

509
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,233
Fetch me a pie,
darling.

510
00:17:18,233 --> 00:17:19,600
*

511
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:20,800
[pie squishes]

512
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,667
Chicken potpie,
Principal Scudworth?

513
00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:24,800
Why, thank you.

514
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:26,300
[pie squishes]

515
00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:27,367
Oh, my God!

516
00:17:27,367 --> 00:17:28,933
Great gravy!

517
00:17:28,933 --> 00:17:31,133
It's burning my flesh!

518
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,967
But it's so delicious!

519
00:17:33,967 --> 00:17:37,167
*

520
00:17:37,167 --> 00:17:38,400
[crashing]

521
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:39,400
[blow lands]

522
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:42,333
[electronic whirring]

523
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:48,667
Come in, Evil Board
of Shadowy Figures.

524
00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:51,167
This is ECyboPooch
with damning evidence

525
00:17:51,167 --> 00:17:52,567
of Scudworth.

526
00:17:52,567 --> 00:17:57,233
I will now upload said evidence
via a 2,400 baud modem.

527
00:17:57,233 --> 00:17:59,300
[dial-up static]

528
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:02,133
There you are,
you little scamp.

529
00:18:02,133 --> 00:18:03,467
[lasers zap]

530
00:18:03,467 --> 00:18:06,500
Not so fast, ECybo snitch.

531
00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:08,467
[dramatic music]

532
00:18:08,467 --> 00:18:11,467
[lasers zapping]

533
00:18:11,467 --> 00:18:12,700
[explosion]

534
00:18:14,133 --> 00:18:18,100
My robot's intuition
told me he was a spy.

535
00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:19,067
And I found this.

536
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:25,700
You broke ECyboPooch
to death!

537
00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:27,600
[yells]

538
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:28,600
[yells]

539
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:29,600
[grunts]

540
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:31,167
[Yakety Sax playing]

541
00:18:31,167 --> 00:18:33,433
Everyone,
stop your pie war!

542
00:18:33,433 --> 00:18:35,067
I have something
to say.

543
00:18:35,067 --> 00:18:36,367
*

544
00:18:36,367 --> 00:18:37,933
Please!

545
00:18:37,933 --> 00:18:40,867
My eight-inch Abe
wants to talk to you.

546
00:18:40,867 --> 00:18:42,967
He's in my pants.

547
00:18:42,967 --> 00:18:44,533
Come on,
everybody!

548
00:18:44,533 --> 00:18:46,200
Let's go out
behind this building,

549
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,533
and I'll show him
to you.

550
00:18:48,867 --> 00:18:49,833
(all)
Mm.

551
00:18:52,967 --> 00:18:54,400
[crowd gasps]

552
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,667
[crowd sighs]

553
00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:58,900
Officially licensed Abe Lincoln
merchandise,

554
00:18:58,900 --> 00:19:01,333
do your thing.

555
00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:03,833
Try the churros.

556
00:19:06,267 --> 00:19:07,667
The point is:

557
00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:08,967
I learned something today

558
00:19:08,967 --> 00:19:11,700
from a replica of the original
Abe Lincoln.

559
00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:13,400
And now it's time
for this replica

560
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,167
of the original Abe Lincoln
to pass that message along.

561
00:19:16,167 --> 00:19:19,367
As my clone father
once so eloquently said...

562
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:20,800
[clears throat]

563
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:24,133
"Fervently we do prawn."

564
00:19:24,133 --> 00:19:25,133
Prawn?

565
00:19:25,133 --> 00:19:26,733
No, that can't be right.

566
00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:28,767
Something about a scourge.

567
00:19:28,767 --> 00:19:31,067
No, I don't even know how
to spell "scourge."

568
00:19:31,067 --> 00:19:33,300
No, but I guess this could
be "scourge."

569
00:19:33,300 --> 00:19:34,300
Yeah, no, it is "scourge."

570
00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:35,500
This is definitely "scourge."

571
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:38,367
[patriotic music]

572
00:19:38,367 --> 00:19:40,333
[Yakety Sax plays]

573
00:19:40,333 --> 00:19:43,333
[pies squishing]

574
00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:45,700
*

575
00:19:45,700 --> 00:19:48,467
[crowd laughing]

576
00:19:48,467 --> 00:19:51,067
[laughs]

577
00:19:51,067 --> 00:19:52,300
[laughter]

578
00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:53,300
(man)
Oh, it's raining.

579
00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:54,300
[laughter]

580
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:55,533
[thunder cracks]

581
00:19:55,533 --> 00:19:56,800
(man)
Did you notice it's raining?

582
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:57,800
[laughter]

583
00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:59,267
(man)
It's raining.

584
00:19:59,267 --> 00:20:01,467
(Toots)
But in the end,
the storm came,

585
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:04,367
and it wiped away
all that bad feelings

586
00:20:04,367 --> 00:20:05,900
and also the pie.

587
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:09,633
Eventually, the heavens
got all their crying out,

588
00:20:09,633 --> 00:20:11,767
and it was time
to be happy again.

589
00:20:11,767 --> 00:20:14,500
And like the north and south,

590
00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:16,867
Joan and Cleo realized
it was time to put an end

591
00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:19,033
to their overt hatred
for each other.

592
00:20:19,033 --> 00:20:22,800
And instead, have an understood,
unspoken hatred.

593
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,000
And Principal Scudworth
and Mr. B,

594
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,000
well, they learned--

595
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,167
Toots.

596
00:20:27,167 --> 00:20:28,300
[slurred]
Who are you talking to?

597
00:20:29,633 --> 00:20:32,100
Now, I'm a blind man.

598
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:35,467
You telling me I've been talking
to myself the whole time?

599
00:20:35,467 --> 00:20:38,567
Well, if that ain't the most
embarrassing thing.

600
00:20:40,167 --> 00:20:41,167
[eye squishes]

601
00:20:41,167 --> 00:20:42,967
[Yakety Sax playing]

602
00:20:42,967 --> 00:20:46,900
(announcer)
Next time, on a very special
Clone High.

603
00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:50,200
The whole thing's a friggin'
rock opera,

604
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,533
starring Jack Black.

605
00:20:52,533 --> 00:20:54,667
Want to see more?

606
00:20:54,667 --> 00:20:57,133
Watch the friggin' show.

607
00:20:57,133 --> 00:20:58,767
It's free, buddy.

608
00:21:00,367 --> 00:21:02,167
I'm drunk.

609
00:21:02,167 --> 00:21:04,767
(Abandoned Pools singing)
* Way, way back in the 1980s

610
00:21:04,767 --> 00:21:07,700
* Secret government employees

611
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:10,533
* Dug up famous
guys and ladies *

612
00:21:10,533 --> 00:21:13,533
* And made amusing
genetic copies *

613
00:21:13,533 --> 00:21:16,433
* Now the clones
are sexy teens now *

614
00:21:16,433 --> 00:21:19,333
* They're going to make it
if they try *

615
00:21:19,333 --> 00:21:22,300
* Loving, learning,
sharing, judging *

616
00:21:22,300 --> 00:21:28,300
* Time to laugh
and shiver and cry *

617
00:21:28,300 --> 00:21:31,600
* Clone High