1
00:00:03,533 --> 00:00:05,833
(male narrator)
Previously, on a
very special Clone High...

2
00:00:05,833 --> 00:00:07,833
Joan made a pass at Abe,

3
00:00:07,833 --> 00:00:09,900
Cleo made a pass at Joan,

4
00:00:09,900 --> 00:00:11,567
and Abe scored,

5
00:00:11,567 --> 00:00:14,133
but not on the court.

6
00:00:14,133 --> 00:00:16,833
I find sports metaphors
very useful

7
00:00:16,833 --> 00:00:19,400
for making
veiled sexual references.

8
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:22,300
(Abandoned Pools singing)
* Way, way back in the 1980s

9
00:00:22,300 --> 00:00:25,233
* Secret government employees

10
00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:28,133
* Dug up famous
guys and ladies *

11
00:00:28,133 --> 00:00:31,167
* And made amusing
genetic copies *

12
00:00:31,167 --> 00:00:33,967
* Now the clones
are sexy teens now *

13
00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:36,800
* They're going to make it
if they try *

14
00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,800
* Loving, learning,
sharing, judging *

15
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:46,033
* Time to laugh
and shiver and cry *

16
00:00:46,033 --> 00:00:48,767
* Clone High

17
00:00:48,767 --> 00:00:54,400
* Clone High

18
00:00:56,267 --> 00:00:59,833
Abe, not here.

19
00:00:59,833 --> 00:01:03,400
The first kiss sets the tone
for the whole relationship.

20
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,067
It has to be perfect.

21
00:01:05,067 --> 00:01:08,100
Gosh, Cleo, what else can I do
to make this perfect?

22
00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:11,700
I'm wearing eight magazines'
worth of Drakkar Noir.

23
00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:14,667
Well, I mean, I hate to bring up
my first kiss with JFK.

24
00:01:14,667 --> 00:01:15,667
Please don't.

25
00:01:15,667 --> 00:01:17,267
We were in the back of his van,

26
00:01:17,267 --> 00:01:20,067
parked behind the Laundromat,
empty wine coolers

27
00:01:20,067 --> 00:01:22,467
jabbing into our writhing
naked bodies.

28
00:01:22,467 --> 00:01:23,867
Naked bodies?

29
00:01:23,867 --> 00:01:26,400
Look, Abe, I'm the clone
of Cleopatra,

30
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:28,333
the most glamorous woman
in history.

31
00:01:28,333 --> 00:01:30,133
I need our first kiss
to be passionate,

32
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:32,133
dramatic, unexpected,
and ideally,

33
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:33,600
accompanied by fireworks.

34
00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,200
[fireworks popping and hissing]

35
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:37,167
You know what I'm
in the mood for right now?

36
00:01:38,300 --> 00:01:39,700
A salad.

37
00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:43,067
(Joan)
What do you mean,
you haven't kissed her yet?

38
00:01:43,067 --> 00:01:44,700
What about that night
at JFK's party

39
00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:46,667
when everyone was drinking
non-alcoholic beer?

40
00:01:46,667 --> 00:01:49,800
What a hilarious night.

41
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:51,833
This is our first kiss
as boyfriend and girlfriend,

42
00:01:51,833 --> 00:01:53,167
and Cleo needs it to be perfect.

43
00:01:53,167 --> 00:01:55,333
But JFK used to just
park his van--

44
00:01:55,333 --> 00:01:56,633
Yeah, yeah.
I heard.

45
00:01:56,633 --> 00:01:58,633
Yeah, so did everyone
in fifth period English.

46
00:01:58,633 --> 00:01:59,700
She's a screamer, Abe.

47
00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:01,167
Enough!

48
00:02:01,167 --> 00:02:04,167
Man, you wanted a kiss,
but instead you got bubkes.

49
00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:05,167
[gasps]

50
00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:06,767
Kiss, bubkes.

51
00:02:06,767 --> 00:02:08,200
I just totally rhymed.

52
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:09,633
I rhymed!

53
00:02:09,633 --> 00:02:11,067
Wait,
rhymed, rhymed.

54
00:02:11,067 --> 00:02:12,067
[gasps]

55
00:02:12,067 --> 00:02:13,367
I did it again!

56
00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:15,333
What's so great
about accidentally rhyming?

57
00:02:15,333 --> 00:02:18,100
There are no accidents
in rhyming, dog.

58
00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:19,767
You see, rhyming's
a godlike force

59
00:02:19,767 --> 00:02:22,200
that chooses people for stardom.

60
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,333
It happened to Bubba Sparxxx,
and now it is happening to me.

61
00:02:25,333 --> 00:02:29,233
You kind of just rhymed
kiss with kiss, Gandhi.

62
00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:32,933
Please, call me G-Spot.

63
00:02:32,933 --> 00:02:33,933
Whatever.

64
00:02:33,933 --> 00:02:35,467
Abe, forget Cleo.

65
00:02:35,467 --> 00:02:37,333
I mean, if two people
are in love,

66
00:02:37,333 --> 00:02:42,133
the first kiss will just happen
at the right moment...

67
00:02:42,133 --> 00:02:44,100
like this.

68
00:02:45,167 --> 00:02:47,067
[laughing]

69
00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:48,300
Thanks, Joan.

70
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:52,367
Your fake infatuation bit
never fails to amuse.

71
00:02:52,367 --> 00:02:54,833
You should join
an improv troupe.

72
00:02:54,833 --> 00:02:57,900
(Principal Scudworth)
Once I implant
these brain-wave transmitters

73
00:02:57,900 --> 00:03:00,933
into the clones' brains,
I will be able

74
00:03:00,933 --> 00:03:05,300
to see and hear everything
they taste and smell.

75
00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:07,767
We'll start with the As.

76
00:03:07,767 --> 00:03:10,533
I've got John Adams.

77
00:03:10,533 --> 00:03:13,100
John Quincy Adams.

78
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:14,533
Sam Adams.

79
00:03:14,533 --> 00:03:15,567
Abigail--

80
00:03:15,567 --> 00:03:18,300
Damn, there's a lot of Adams!

81
00:03:18,300 --> 00:03:22,433
Now, you know how I like
to perform evil surgery.

82
00:03:22,433 --> 00:03:25,267
Everything
has to be just so.

83
00:03:25,267 --> 00:03:26,733
[saw buzzing]

84
00:03:26,733 --> 00:03:29,233
*

85
00:03:29,233 --> 00:03:32,133
Why, that sounds like
the pizzicato tiptoeing

86
00:03:32,133 --> 00:03:34,333
of a pesky skunk.

87
00:03:34,333 --> 00:03:36,733
Unacceptable!

88
00:03:36,733 --> 00:03:40,100
[chattering]

89
00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:42,067
This isn't a skunk.

90
00:03:42,067 --> 00:03:44,633
Some kind of hissing
novelty candle

91
00:03:44,633 --> 00:03:47,400
for a giant birthday cake.

92
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:50,167
[loud booming]

93
00:03:50,167 --> 00:03:53,167
Try and catch me, bitch.

94
00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:56,100
[screaming]

95
00:03:58,833 --> 00:04:00,067
Oh, my God!

96
00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:03,067
[lively music]

97
00:04:03,067 --> 00:04:05,733
*

98
00:04:05,733 --> 00:04:08,567
(Cleopatra)
After we have
our perfect first kiss,

99
00:04:08,567 --> 00:04:10,200
I'm gonna
do things to you

100
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:11,667
that would shock
the college boy

101
00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:13,200
I hooked up with
at cheerleading camp.

102
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,333
Wait, what college boy?

103
00:04:14,333 --> 00:04:17,067
Shh, don't talk.

104
00:04:17,067 --> 00:04:19,467
This moment feels perfect.

105
00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:22,133
Kissably perfect.

106
00:04:22,133 --> 00:04:23,133
Dinger!

107
00:04:23,133 --> 00:04:24,400
[slurring]
Hey, hot lips.

108
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,267
This letter got mixed up
in my disability checks.

109
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:31,500
You know, I used to be pretty
when I was in school.

110
00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:33,467
Now look at me!

111
00:04:33,467 --> 00:04:35,200
[gasping]
Oh, my God.

112
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,833
I applied to be a dancer

113
00:04:36,833 --> 00:04:40,567
on Ashley Angel from O-Town's
Spring Break Dance Academy.

114
00:04:40,567 --> 00:04:43,867
The Ashley Angel from O-Town?

115
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:47,833
From TV's gift to pop music
and the world, O-Town?

116
00:04:47,833 --> 00:04:51,433
Wow, he's like the Beatles
and Jesus rolled into one.

117
00:04:51,433 --> 00:04:52,867
If I get in,
it'll look so great

118
00:04:52,867 --> 00:04:54,500
on my college application.

119
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:56,567
Come on, that show
is just a porn substitute

120
00:04:56,567 --> 00:04:58,667
with questionable
academic value.

121
00:04:58,667 --> 00:05:00,500
No, no.

122
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:03,733
Since Ashley Angel from O-Town
became dean of admissions,

123
00:05:03,733 --> 00:05:05,933
he's turned it into
a prestigious dance academy

124
00:05:05,933 --> 00:05:08,233
that just happens to have
the cameras running.

125
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:10,667
[screams]

126
00:05:10,667 --> 00:05:12,300
Oh, I can't believe it!
I'm in!

127
00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:15,100
I'm going to study under
Ashley Angel from O-Town.

128
00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:19,267
But they tape that show far away
on the sunny beaches of Canada.

129
00:05:19,267 --> 00:05:21,300
What about us?

130
00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:22,367
[screams]

131
00:05:22,367 --> 00:05:24,733
Ashley Angel
from O-Town!

132
00:05:24,733 --> 00:05:26,467
Oh! Oh, it's so cold.

133
00:05:26,467 --> 00:05:27,467
Oh, it's so cold.

134
00:05:27,467 --> 00:05:28,900
I like it.

135
00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:33,200
Ashley Angel from O-Town, eh?

136
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:37,867
* For purple
mountains' majesty *

137
00:05:37,867 --> 00:05:42,400
* Above the fruited plain

138
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,767
[laughing]

139
00:05:44,767 --> 00:05:46,233
Fruited plain!

140
00:05:46,233 --> 00:05:47,633
Fruit!

141
00:05:47,633 --> 00:05:49,467
It has two meanings!

142
00:05:49,467 --> 00:05:52,400
[laughing]

143
00:05:55,067 --> 00:05:56,267
[coughing]

144
00:05:56,267 --> 00:05:57,967
JFK, man,
you got to help me.

145
00:05:57,967 --> 00:05:58,967
Oh, God!

146
00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:00,200
You're the only dude I know

147
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,267
who has a recording studio
in his crib.

148
00:06:02,267 --> 00:06:04,200
What are you talking
about, bald nerd?

149
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:07,067
I got to lay down a rap demo
for Ashley Angel from O-Town.

150
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,367
Who?

151
00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:09,900
He's that teen idol
from that boy band.

152
00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:10,967
- 'NSYNC?
- No.

153
00:06:10,967 --> 00:06:12,067
- Backstreet Boys?
- No.

154
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:13,467
- 98 Degrees?
- No.

155
00:06:13,467 --> 00:06:15,067
- Menudo?
- No.

156
00:06:15,067 --> 00:06:16,500
He's in the band O-Town.

157
00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:18,067
Oh, you mean
the superstar

158
00:06:18,067 --> 00:06:20,400
who hosts the spring break
dance academy?

159
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:21,967
His connections
to the music industry

160
00:06:21,967 --> 00:06:23,933
will help me fulfill
my weeklong dream

161
00:06:23,933 --> 00:06:26,200
of becoming an international
rap sensation.

162
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,767
No can do!

163
00:06:27,767 --> 00:06:30,600
I'm recording my annual
Fourth of July album

164
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:33,067
and laughing at gay lyrics.

165
00:06:33,067 --> 00:06:34,267
Check this out!

166
00:06:34,267 --> 00:06:39,267
G-Spot rocks the G-spot!
G-Spot rocks the G-spot.

167
00:06:39,267 --> 00:06:41,633
Wow, that rhymed.

168
00:06:41,633 --> 00:06:45,167
Say hello to the next
Bubba Sparxxx!

169
00:06:46,633 --> 00:06:48,067
(woman)
This is the final
boarding announcement

170
00:06:48,067 --> 00:06:49,700
for flight 100 to Canada City.

171
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:55,200
Cleo!

172
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:56,867
[gasps]

173
00:06:56,867 --> 00:06:59,533
Don't get on that plane.

174
00:06:59,533 --> 00:07:01,800
Abe, what are you doing here?

175
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:06,167
Stopping you from making
the biggest mistake of my life.

176
00:07:06,167 --> 00:07:09,233
Abe, if you
ask me to stay,

177
00:07:09,233 --> 00:07:12,467
you'll be stomping out
the fire of my dreams.

178
00:07:12,467 --> 00:07:16,567
The only fire I care about
is the flame of our love.

179
00:07:16,567 --> 00:07:18,100
And I couldn't live
if you passed

180
00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:20,400
that burning sensation
to another guy.

181
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,267
Look, Abe, I'd like
nothing more

182
00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:24,867
than to let you feel me up
like you were my dentist,

183
00:07:24,867 --> 00:07:27,100
but I care too much
about our future together.

184
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:28,367
Back up.
What dentist?

185
00:07:28,367 --> 00:07:29,733
Dr. Tucker?

186
00:07:29,733 --> 00:07:35,067
All that matters is you,
is us, is now.

187
00:07:35,067 --> 00:07:38,067
[both breathing shakily]

188
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:40,833
All aboard!

189
00:07:40,833 --> 00:07:42,933
All aboard for Canada City!

190
00:07:44,900 --> 00:07:47,267
Can you at least take
the jacket I gave you?

191
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:49,100
Oh, Abe, I'll
wear it on TV.

192
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:50,567
I promise.

193
00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:53,067
It'll be our secret message.

194
00:07:53,067 --> 00:07:55,467
Part of you is inside of me.

195
00:07:57,167 --> 00:08:02,667
Cleo!

196
00:08:03,767 --> 00:08:05,800
Don't get on that plane...

197
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,067
yet!

198
00:08:07,067 --> 00:08:08,533
First, take this demo

199
00:08:08,533 --> 00:08:10,467
to give to Ashley Angel
from O-Town.

200
00:08:10,467 --> 00:08:12,933
Ew! Get away from me.

201
00:08:14,767 --> 00:08:16,233
Now get on that plane!

202
00:08:16,233 --> 00:08:19,100
Bu--oh.

203
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:21,867
Hey, man, thanks
for stalling her.

204
00:08:23,533 --> 00:08:26,200
Can I borrow ten bucks
for an airport cookie?

205
00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:31,500
*

206
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:34,067
Man, I can't believe
the only way

207
00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:36,400
I can see my girlfriend
is on TV.

208
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,767
[sighs]
I know how you feel, man.

209
00:08:38,767 --> 00:08:42,233
*

210
00:08:42,233 --> 00:08:44,300
Abe, be realistic.

211
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:45,867
I'll bet Cleo's
already hooked up

212
00:08:45,867 --> 00:08:47,433
with Ashley Angel
from O-Town.

213
00:08:47,433 --> 00:08:48,600
Wrong-o!

214
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,867
We made a deal
to remain faithful.

215
00:08:50,867 --> 00:08:53,433
No touching
below the eyebrows.

216
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:54,700
[laughs]

217
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:58,067
Abe, all celebrities
are completely hairless.

218
00:08:58,067 --> 00:08:59,567
They put the eyebrows on
in editing

219
00:08:59,567 --> 00:09:02,767
to make sure the actors make
the right facial expressions.

220
00:09:02,767 --> 00:09:05,667
We'll see who's laughing
when Cleo's wearing

221
00:09:05,667 --> 00:09:09,900
my letterman's jacket
on a cable TV show,

222
00:09:09,900 --> 00:09:12,267
which, coincidentally,
is starting right now.

223
00:09:12,267 --> 00:09:13,833
*

224
00:09:13,833 --> 00:09:15,300
(Ashley)
What's up?

225
00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:18,400
Welcome to sunny Canada,
where it's always spring break.

226
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,300
It is I,
Ashley Angel from O-Town,

227
00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:22,233
and I command you to do dance.

228
00:09:22,233 --> 00:09:25,233
[girls grunting and panting]

229
00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:28,700
I can't believe my eyes.

230
00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:31,300
She's not wearing my jacket!

231
00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:35,833
*

232
00:09:35,833 --> 00:09:37,100
Hey, mate, would it be cool

233
00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:39,533
if I played this random demo
on live TV?

234
00:09:39,533 --> 00:09:42,167
Sure, teen dance shows
are all about taking chances

235
00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:43,633
on undiscovered
young artists.

236
00:09:43,633 --> 00:09:45,067
[whirring]

237
00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:47,633
[funky music]

238
00:09:47,633 --> 00:09:49,533
(Ghandi)
Aww...

239
00:09:49,533 --> 00:09:51,133
Oh, yeah.

240
00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:52,900
*

241
00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:53,933
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.

242
00:09:53,933 --> 00:09:56,467
*

243
00:09:56,467 --> 00:09:58,967
* G-Spot rocks the G-spot

244
00:09:58,967 --> 00:10:01,633
* G-Spot
rocks the G-spot *

245
00:10:01,633 --> 00:10:03,133
* What's my name? *

246
00:10:03,133 --> 00:10:04,167
(all)
G-Spot!

247
00:10:04,167 --> 00:10:05,700
(Gandhi)
* What do I rock?

248
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:06,867
(all)
The G-spot!

249
00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:08,333
(Ghandi)
* G-Spot rocks the G-spot.

250
00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:11,933
So, scholar dancers,
you think this bad boy's a hit?

251
00:10:11,933 --> 00:10:13,033
[crowd cheering]

252
00:10:13,033 --> 00:10:13,967
(Gandhi)
* What's my name? *

253
00:10:13,967 --> 00:10:15,000
(all)
G-Spot!

254
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,267
(Gandhi)
* What do I rock?

255
00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:17,300
* G-spot!

256
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,800
* G-Spot rocks the G-spot

257
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:22,167
(Cleopatra)
Abe, did you see me on TV?

258
00:10:22,167 --> 00:10:25,233
I saw you,
but you know what I didn't see?

259
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:26,833
My letterman's jacket!

260
00:10:26,833 --> 00:10:28,333
And you know
where I didn't see it?

261
00:10:28,333 --> 00:10:29,600
On you!

262
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,067
(Cleopatra)
What are you talking about?

263
00:10:31,067 --> 00:10:32,933
Of course I was wearing
your jacket.

264
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:33,933
[Cleopatra laughs]

265
00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:34,933
Who's there with you?

266
00:10:34,933 --> 00:10:36,133
(Cleopatra)
Just Ashley.

267
00:10:36,133 --> 00:10:39,133
[laughing]
Stop tickling me. Stop!

268
00:10:39,133 --> 00:10:42,833
You call Professor Angel
by his first name?

269
00:10:42,833 --> 00:10:44,800
Hey, let me talk
to that dog.

270
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,367
Don't worry, dog,
Cleo's in good hands.

271
00:10:46,367 --> 00:10:47,833
She's a real party girl.

272
00:10:47,833 --> 00:10:51,133
Well, don't expect her to party
with you, Professor.

273
00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:52,533
We have an agreement.

274
00:10:52,533 --> 00:10:54,633
Nothing below the eyebrows.

275
00:10:54,633 --> 00:10:56,300
Eyebrows?

276
00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:59,833
Dog, I'm an incredibly huge,
unbelievably famous celebrity.

277
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,400
I'm completely hairless.

278
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:02,833
So it's true!

279
00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:06,433
You've made a cuckold
out of me.

280
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:07,733
Abe, wait!

281
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:10,967
Send back my
letterman's jacket, Cleo.

282
00:11:10,967 --> 00:11:14,133
I'll need it to wipe my broken
heart off the floor...

283
00:11:14,133 --> 00:11:16,833
and to wear when it's chilly.

284
00:11:16,833 --> 00:11:19,867
My evil surgery certainly
won't be disturbed

285
00:11:19,867 --> 00:11:22,267
in this expensive china store.

286
00:11:22,267 --> 00:11:26,067
(Skunky-Poo)
Yoo-hoo!

287
00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:28,933
[siren blaring]

288
00:11:28,933 --> 00:11:30,700
[heart thumping]

289
00:11:30,700 --> 00:11:32,933
*

290
00:11:32,933 --> 00:11:36,067
Ma'am, I believe
this lipstick of dynamite

291
00:11:36,067 --> 00:11:37,300
belongs to you.

292
00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:39,067
*

293
00:11:39,067 --> 00:11:40,233
[loud booming]

294
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,667
[screaming]

295
00:11:42,667 --> 00:11:45,233
That dynamite
really smarts!

296
00:11:45,233 --> 00:11:48,967
[screaming]

297
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,100
[glass shattering]

298
00:11:58,167 --> 00:12:00,367
G-Spot, you claim
rhyming chose you,

299
00:12:00,367 --> 00:12:03,267
yet you have only one song,
which has only one rhyme,

300
00:12:03,267 --> 00:12:06,100
which is actually just
the same word repeated.

301
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,567
Are you at least trying
to write another song?

302
00:12:08,567 --> 00:12:10,233
(Ghandi on recording)
* G-Spot rocks the G-spot

303
00:12:10,233 --> 00:12:11,867
[dolphin chirping]

304
00:12:11,867 --> 00:12:15,100
I could ask you
the same question.

305
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:18,067
Are you trying
to write a hit song?

306
00:12:18,067 --> 00:12:19,500
I'm a reporter.

307
00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:20,967
(Ghandi on recording)
* G-Spot rocks the G-spot

308
00:12:20,967 --> 00:12:22,800
(woman)
This is the final
boarding announcement

309
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,500
for flight 100
to Exclamation, USA.

310
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:33,500
* Cleo!

311
00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:34,567
[gasps]

312
00:12:34,567 --> 00:12:36,567
Don't get on that plane.

313
00:12:36,567 --> 00:12:39,367
Ashley, what are you doing here?

314
00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:42,667
Stopping you from making
the biggest mistake of my life.

315
00:12:42,667 --> 00:12:44,700
I want to stay,
but I have to

316
00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:46,800
make things right
with my boyfriend...

317
00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:49,800
Abe.

318
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,767
But you've got
so much talent, dog.

319
00:12:51,767 --> 00:12:54,100
I knew it the moment I felt you
grinding into my business.

320
00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:55,533
All aboard!

321
00:12:55,533 --> 00:12:58,767
All aboard
for Exclamation, USA.

322
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,133
The girls who dance
on beach shows

323
00:13:02,133 --> 00:13:04,067
always achieve greatness.

324
00:13:04,067 --> 00:13:07,433
Look at Jenny McCarthy
and Maya Angelou.

325
00:13:07,433 --> 00:13:09,533
Don't you want
to be a star, dog?

326
00:13:09,533 --> 00:13:10,900
Of course.

327
00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:12,433
Everyone wants that,

328
00:13:12,433 --> 00:13:15,067
except ugly people who are
ashamed of the way they look.

329
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:17,733
Then stay with me.

330
00:13:17,733 --> 00:13:20,633
We'll party on the beaches
of Canada every day,

331
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,100
just you and me...

332
00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:24,200
[crowd cheering]

333
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,500
And them.

334
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:26,867
They follow me everywhere.

335
00:13:26,867 --> 00:13:27,867
[crowd cheering]

336
00:13:27,867 --> 00:13:30,367
I think my manager
pays them.

337
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:37,400
[melancholy music]

338
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,400
Surprise!

339
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,400
[screams]

340
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,567
You're not my science book!

341
00:13:40,567 --> 00:13:42,200
[metal clanging]

342
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:44,267
Baby, I came back
to be with you,

343
00:13:44,267 --> 00:13:46,067
but you're not you.

344
00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:48,167
Where's the you
who gave me flowers,

345
00:13:48,167 --> 00:13:50,667
who massaged my thighs?

346
00:13:50,667 --> 00:13:52,500
Oh wait, that was
my tennis instructor.

347
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:54,067
You lied, baby.

348
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:56,067
You didn't wear
the letterman's jacket.

349
00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:57,600
Baby, I did wear it.

350
00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:58,933
I swear it, baby.

351
00:13:58,933 --> 00:14:01,633
Baby, I watched the show.

352
00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:03,300
I have eyes, you know.

353
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:06,433
They're right under
my eyebrows!

354
00:14:06,433 --> 00:14:07,767
[gasps]

355
00:14:07,767 --> 00:14:10,633
[crying]

356
00:14:10,633 --> 00:14:13,467
*

357
00:14:13,467 --> 00:14:17,400
Everyone knows
skunks love free bacon.

358
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,367
So when Skunky-Poo comes
to sample the treats,

359
00:14:20,367 --> 00:14:23,367
it won't be bacon
he'll get a taste of.

360
00:14:23,367 --> 00:14:25,767
Rather, it'll be
his own medicine!

361
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:30,967
*

362
00:14:30,967 --> 00:14:32,600
[laughing and wheezing]

363
00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:33,867
*

364
00:14:33,867 --> 00:14:35,133
Ha-ha!

365
00:14:35,133 --> 00:14:37,167
*

366
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,333
[pen squeaking]

367
00:14:39,767 --> 00:14:42,300
Free bacon for Scudworths?

368
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:44,333
Why, I'm a Scudworth.

369
00:14:48,967 --> 00:14:49,967
[thud]

370
00:14:49,967 --> 00:14:52,867
Oh, my God!
The agony!

371
00:14:52,867 --> 00:14:54,233
Nothing could be worse

372
00:14:54,233 --> 00:14:57,900
than the pain I feel
at this moment!

373
00:14:57,900 --> 00:14:59,667
But at least I still have

374
00:14:59,667 --> 00:15:02,167
this bacon to enjoy.

375
00:15:04,833 --> 00:15:06,133
[loud booming]

376
00:15:06,133 --> 00:15:09,067
[screaming]

377
00:15:12,867 --> 00:15:14,767
[screaming]
Why, Skunky, why?

378
00:15:14,767 --> 00:15:16,100
(Ghandi on recording)
* G-Spot rocks...

379
00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:18,067
How do you put out an album
for every holiday,

380
00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:20,067
and I can't even
think of another song?

381
00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:22,667
You just gave me a great idea!

382
00:15:22,667 --> 00:15:27,667
What if we take a sample
of a song that already exists,

383
00:15:27,667 --> 00:15:31,233
and you rap over that sample?

384
00:15:31,233 --> 00:15:33,067
I call it...

385
00:15:33,067 --> 00:15:34,933
song-taking!

386
00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:37,067
Uh, wouldn't that be against

387
00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:39,333
the rapper's code
of originality?

388
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:44,733
That's not dancing.
It's filth!

389
00:15:44,733 --> 00:15:46,933
It's letterman-jacketless filth!

390
00:15:48,233 --> 00:15:50,100
And I don't condone it!

391
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:52,600
Abe, you need
to forget about Cleo

392
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,200
and find yourself
a new girl.

393
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,133
[clears throat]

394
00:15:57,233 --> 00:15:58,833
You're right,
Joan of Arc.

395
00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:02,333
I'm gonna turn off this tape
and find another girl,

396
00:16:02,333 --> 00:16:04,067
possibly a redhead.

397
00:16:04,067 --> 00:16:06,067
Yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes!

398
00:16:06,067 --> 00:16:07,400
Wait, what's that?

399
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,867
VCR, pause tape.

400
00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:10,967
What's that
around Cleo's neck?

401
00:16:10,967 --> 00:16:13,867
The world's
ugliest necklace.

402
00:16:13,867 --> 00:16:17,600
Probably a gift
from Ashley Angel from O-Town.

403
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,067
VCR, zoom in
on Cleo's necklace.

404
00:16:20,067 --> 00:16:22,433
[mechanical beeping]

405
00:16:22,433 --> 00:16:23,567
My jacket!

406
00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:25,233
Joan, she did wear it!

407
00:16:25,233 --> 00:16:26,767
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

408
00:16:26,767 --> 00:16:27,800
Lucky me!

409
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,600
No. No, no.
It doesn't count!

410
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:31,900
The arms--the arms
aren't even through the sleeves!

411
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:35,467
She violated the spirit
of your agreement.

412
00:16:35,467 --> 00:16:37,367
Telephone, dial Cleo's number.

413
00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:38,367
[beeping]

414
00:16:38,367 --> 00:16:39,867
Yo.

415
00:16:39,867 --> 00:16:41,100
Is Cleo there?

416
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,100
[slurring]
Cleo's at the airport.

417
00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:46,567
She's going back to be
with Ashley Angel from O-Town.

418
00:16:46,567 --> 00:16:50,733
But I'm here, Abe,
if you want to party.

419
00:16:50,733 --> 00:16:51,833
Ew.

420
00:16:51,833 --> 00:16:57,800
Cleo!

421
00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,067
[gasps]

422
00:16:59,067 --> 00:17:01,800
Don't get on that plane.

423
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,600
[gasps]

424
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:04,600
[gasps]

425
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:08,067
Buddy Holly!

426
00:17:08,067 --> 00:17:10,133
Is there any room on your plane?

427
00:17:10,133 --> 00:17:11,367
Well, let me see.

428
00:17:11,367 --> 00:17:13,433
It's me, Ritchie Valens,
the Big Bopper,

429
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:18,300
Jim Croce, Stevie Ray Vaughan,
and half of Lynyrd Skynyrd.

430
00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:20,767
Yeah, I guess there's room
for one more.

431
00:17:20,767 --> 00:17:21,967
[clattering]

432
00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:25,133
Oh...

433
00:17:25,133 --> 00:17:26,467
okay.

434
00:17:26,467 --> 00:17:30,067
Abe!

435
00:17:30,067 --> 00:17:32,067
Don't get on that plane.

436
00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:33,967
I can't stand
to not see you

437
00:17:33,967 --> 00:17:36,400
not make the biggest mistake
of one of our lives.

438
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:37,400
What?

439
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,067
Huh?
None of that matters.

440
00:17:39,067 --> 00:17:41,800
Cleo's flight has
a layover in Atlanta City.

441
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,467
If we drive,
we can meet her there,

442
00:17:44,467 --> 00:17:46,767
and it'll save you
three days' travel time.

443
00:17:46,767 --> 00:17:47,767
[exasperated sigh]

444
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,100
And about $90.

445
00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:50,200
Done.

446
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,300
Thanks, pal.

447
00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:52,767
Let's roll!

448
00:17:52,767 --> 00:17:57,367
Scudworth!

449
00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:59,233
Don't get on that plane!

450
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:11,300
Cleo!

451
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,433
[gasps]

452
00:18:12,433 --> 00:18:15,133
Don't get on that plane!

453
00:18:15,133 --> 00:18:18,067
I saw the necklace, Cleo.
I saw it!

454
00:18:18,067 --> 00:18:19,300
Oh, Abe.

455
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:21,433
I wore the jacket
in Ashley's hot tub,

456
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:22,433
and it shrank.

457
00:18:22,433 --> 00:18:24,967
Ashley's hot tub?

458
00:18:24,967 --> 00:18:27,067
All that doesn't matter, baby.

459
00:18:27,067 --> 00:18:28,667
Just come home with me.

460
00:18:28,667 --> 00:18:30,500
We'll start a new life together.

461
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:32,800
Abe, I want that
more than anything.

462
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,767
But, you see, when I'm 25
and looking back on my life,

463
00:18:35,767 --> 00:18:39,700
I don't want to regret
not getting on this plane.

464
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:41,733
[whispering]
You were the one.

465
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,800
[melancholy music]

466
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:53,800
*

467
00:18:53,800 --> 00:19:00,367
(man)
* I, I don't wanna forget *

468
00:19:00,367 --> 00:19:05,067
* How we got this far

469
00:19:05,067 --> 00:19:06,433
[screams]

470
00:19:06,433 --> 00:19:07,600
Cleo!

471
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,900
But I--
how did you--

472
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:12,500
Love works
in mysterious ways.

473
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:13,500
But you were just--

474
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,733
Shh.

475
00:19:15,733 --> 00:19:19,833
(man)
* I close my eyes
and drift away *

476
00:19:19,833 --> 00:19:22,800
[fireworks popping and hissing]

477
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,467
Thanks, Joan.

478
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:27,467
I'm kissing my girlfriend
because of you.

479
00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:28,733
*

480
00:19:28,733 --> 00:19:31,167
Dinger.

481
00:19:31,167 --> 00:19:33,567
Yo, cabana boy!

482
00:19:33,567 --> 00:19:37,400
Bring me a hot dog
with a side of catsup!

483
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,200
*

484
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,900
This catsup will really
spice up my dog.

485
00:19:43,900 --> 00:19:45,167
*

486
00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:46,567
Darn it.

487
00:19:46,567 --> 00:19:50,933
It seems to be blocked
by some sort of lit fuse.

488
00:19:50,933 --> 00:19:51,933
[loud booming]

489
00:19:51,933 --> 00:19:53,400
[screaming]

490
00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:58,533
[screaming]

491
00:19:58,533 --> 00:20:00,200
Ah-ha!

492
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,633
*

493
00:20:03,633 --> 00:20:07,667
It is I,
Ashley Angel from O-Town.

494
00:20:07,667 --> 00:20:10,633
Anyway, I'm here
with a brand-new video.

495
00:20:10,633 --> 00:20:14,667
It's G-Spot's follow-up,
"UR A G Old Flag."

496
00:20:14,667 --> 00:20:16,133
*

497
00:20:16,133 --> 00:20:18,500
Oh, yeah.

498
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:22,233
(JFK)
* You're a grand old flag,
you're a high-flying flag *

499
00:20:22,233 --> 00:20:23,733
Flag.

500
00:20:23,733 --> 00:20:25,467
(JFK)
* And forever in peace
may you wave *

501
00:20:25,467 --> 00:20:27,100
Wave, ya'll.

502
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:30,133
(JFK)
* You're the emblem
of the land I love *

503
00:20:30,133 --> 00:20:31,567
Emblem.

504
00:20:31,567 --> 00:20:33,467
(JFK)
* The home of the free
and the brave *

505
00:20:33,467 --> 00:20:35,200
Uh-huh, uh-huh,
uh-huh, uh-huh.

506
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:38,100
(JFK)
* Every heart beats true
for the red, white, and blue *

507
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:39,700
One time,
two time.

508
00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:42,400
(JFK)
* Where there's never
a boast or brag *

509
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:43,900
Do the Bartman.

510
00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:46,533
(JFK)
* Should auld acquaintance
be forgot *

511
00:20:46,533 --> 00:20:48,067
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.

512
00:20:48,067 --> 00:20:50,433
(JFK)
* Keep your, uh, eye
on the grand old flag *

513
00:20:50,433 --> 00:20:52,000
Oh, yeah.
Flag!

514
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:56,633
(narrator)
Next time,
on a very special Clone High...

515
00:20:56,633 --> 00:20:59,233
* Bow-chicka-bow-bow

516
00:20:59,233 --> 00:21:01,267
* Bow-chicka-bow-bow

517
00:21:01,267 --> 00:21:03,667
Girl fight.

518
00:21:03,667 --> 00:21:06,300
(Abandoned Pools singing)
* Way, way back in the 1980s

519
00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:09,233
* Secret government
employees *

520
00:21:09,233 --> 00:21:11,967
* Dug up famous
guys and ladies *

521
00:21:11,967 --> 00:21:14,967
* And made amusing
genetic copies *

522
00:21:14,967 --> 00:21:17,867
* Now the clones
are sexy teens now *

523
00:21:17,867 --> 00:21:20,833
* They're gonna make
it if they try *

524
00:21:20,833 --> 00:21:23,700
* Loving, learning,
sharing, judging *

525
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:29,867
* Time to laugh and
shiver and cry *

526
00:21:29,867 --> 00:21:32,800
* Clone High