1
00:00:03,067 --> 00:00:04,267
(male narrator)
Previously,

2
00:00:04,267 --> 00:00:06,667
on a very special
Clone High...

3
00:00:06,667 --> 00:00:08,600
Joan made a declaration.

4
00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:10,067
Abe, I want you.

5
00:00:10,067 --> 00:00:13,933
(narrator)
And Abe found a new form
of recreation.

6
00:00:13,933 --> 00:00:15,767
He's not gay or anything.

7
00:00:15,767 --> 00:00:17,267
Abe actually likes Cleo,

8
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,800
a girl.

9
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:20,933
That was just a hilarious
plot twist.

10
00:00:20,933 --> 00:00:24,000
Hey, you miss an episode,
it's your funeral.

11
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,633
I'm talking to you, Doug.

12
00:00:26,633 --> 00:00:29,733
(Abandoned Pools singing)
* Way, way back in the 1980s

13
00:00:29,733 --> 00:00:32,700
* Secret government employees

14
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:35,500
* Dug up famous
guys and ladies *

15
00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:38,500
* And made amusing
genetic copies *

16
00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:41,433
* Now the clones
are sexy teens now *

17
00:00:41,433 --> 00:00:44,333
* They're going to make it
if they try *

18
00:00:44,333 --> 00:00:47,333
* Loving, learning,
sharing, judging *

19
00:00:47,333 --> 00:00:53,333
* Time to laugh
and shiver and cry *

20
00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:56,100
* Clone High

21
00:00:56,100 --> 00:01:01,733
* Clone High

22
00:01:01,733 --> 00:01:05,533
[marching band playing]

23
00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:06,933
(Gandhi)
Wow.

24
00:01:06,933 --> 00:01:09,600
I've never seen so few fans
at a cross-country meet.

25
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:10,600
[crowd cheering]

26
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,133
[panting]

27
00:01:13,133 --> 00:01:15,367
Lope, Abe Lincoln, lope.

28
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:17,267
[panting]

29
00:01:17,267 --> 00:01:18,833
Man, it's hot.

30
00:01:18,833 --> 00:01:21,533
I think I'll pour this
sports drink all over myself.

31
00:01:21,533 --> 00:01:22,533
[drink splashing]

32
00:01:22,533 --> 00:01:24,333
Ooh, it's sticky.

33
00:01:24,333 --> 00:01:25,400
[pants]

34
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:26,333
[crash]
Dinger!

35
00:01:27,467 --> 00:01:28,733
I won.

36
00:01:28,733 --> 00:01:31,333
And I didn't even
scuff my loafers.

37
00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:32,567
Oh, my God.

38
00:01:32,567 --> 00:01:34,400
We just won a cross-country
dual meet.

39
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:38,133
Let's destroy property to show
how much we appreciate the team!

40
00:01:38,133 --> 00:01:40,233
(all)
Riot! Riot!

41
00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:42,067
Do it with a stop sign.

42
00:01:42,067 --> 00:01:43,067
[crash]

43
00:01:43,067 --> 00:01:44,667
[car alarm wailing]

44
00:01:44,667 --> 00:01:45,933
- Yeah, books!
- Riot! Riot!

45
00:01:45,933 --> 00:01:46,933
[explosion booms]

46
00:01:46,933 --> 00:01:49,067
Ready, okay.

47
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,067
[crash, thud]

48
00:01:50,067 --> 00:01:51,067
Riot!

49
00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:52,067
[crash]

50
00:01:52,067 --> 00:01:53,067
(rioters)
Riot! Riot!

51
00:01:53,067 --> 00:01:55,067
Yeah, books!

52
00:01:55,067 --> 00:01:56,067
(all)
Riot! Riot!

53
00:01:56,067 --> 00:01:57,067
[metal crunches]

54
00:01:57,067 --> 00:01:58,067
(all)
Riot!

55
00:01:58,067 --> 00:01:59,533
[metal clangs]

56
00:01:59,533 --> 00:02:02,467
[laughing maniacally]

57
00:02:02,467 --> 00:02:04,333
[growling]

58
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,333
(man)
Flip the pool!

59
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:06,333
[pool thuds]

60
00:02:06,333 --> 00:02:07,467
Thank you!

61
00:02:07,467 --> 00:02:08,600
[fire whooshes]

62
00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:10,833
[yelling]

63
00:02:10,833 --> 00:02:11,933
[bricks thud]

64
00:02:11,933 --> 00:02:13,833
[heavy metal music]

65
00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:16,067
Those loveable scamps.

66
00:02:16,067 --> 00:02:18,567
They're rioting
at a college level.

67
00:02:18,567 --> 00:02:19,733
[crash, thud]

68
00:02:19,733 --> 00:02:21,067
Riot!

69
00:02:21,067 --> 00:02:22,267
[distant screaming]

70
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:23,500
(Mr. Sheepman)
Now, let's talk about

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00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:26,200
yesterday's horrifying
shenanigans,

72
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,933
and feel free to say anything,
'cause today,

73
00:02:28,933 --> 00:02:32,300
I'm gonna be your "care-iff,"
you see.

74
00:02:33,867 --> 00:02:35,467
Okay.
Moving on.

75
00:02:35,467 --> 00:02:37,667
I know teenagers
have an awful lot

76
00:02:37,667 --> 00:02:42,233
of confusing feelings,
but today it is unlawful

77
00:02:42,233 --> 00:02:43,733
to bottle 'em up.

78
00:02:43,733 --> 00:02:46,133
You got to let 'em out!

79
00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:48,867
Like I do, every night
between 10:00 and 10:15

80
00:02:48,867 --> 00:02:50,667
on a pillow
shaped like my father.

81
00:02:51,733 --> 00:02:53,433
So let's brainstorm

82
00:02:53,433 --> 00:02:56,533
some constructive ways
we can express ourselves.

83
00:02:56,533 --> 00:02:58,700
Uh, Joan of Arc makes movies.

84
00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:00,633
Uh, I make films,
'kay?

85
00:03:00,633 --> 00:03:01,633
On video.

86
00:03:01,633 --> 00:03:03,433
Experimental video art

87
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,267
technically not
intended for audiences.

88
00:03:05,267 --> 00:03:06,867
Okay, wonderful.

89
00:03:06,867 --> 00:03:08,767
Making films is a...

90
00:03:08,767 --> 00:03:11,300
is a--is a relatively
inexpensive way

91
00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:13,667
to express oneself,
I guess.

92
00:03:13,667 --> 00:03:15,067
I'd like to help.

93
00:03:15,067 --> 00:03:17,567
I was on that
cross-country team.

94
00:03:17,567 --> 00:03:20,533
For this reason,
I hereby volunteer

95
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,333
to organize the first annual

96
00:03:22,333 --> 00:03:24,367
Take Back the Afternoon
film festival

97
00:03:24,367 --> 00:03:26,500
to save Clone High!

98
00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:28,100
Fantastic.

99
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:30,700
Now we'll never have
another riot.

100
00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:31,833
[eerie music]

101
00:03:31,833 --> 00:03:33,300
Listen, we've all done things

102
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,100
we're not proud of after
a good cross-country meet.

103
00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:36,767
But that riot was unacceptable.

104
00:03:36,767 --> 00:03:38,100
Unacceptable?

105
00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:39,567
Did you see the pool?

106
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,133
They flipped the bitch.

107
00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:43,700
Principal Scudworth, if you were
running this school properly,

108
00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:44,767
there would be no riots,

109
00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:46,133
only clone soldiers trained

110
00:03:46,133 --> 00:03:48,633
for superior intellectual
and physical combat.

111
00:03:48,633 --> 00:03:49,867
Little do they know

112
00:03:49,867 --> 00:03:52,567
I have my own plans
for these clones,

113
00:03:52,567 --> 00:03:55,867
plans that don't involve
these Shadowy Figures at all.

114
00:03:55,867 --> 00:03:57,200
[laughs]

115
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,100
You're talking in a normal
indoor speaking voice.

116
00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:03,600
So I am.

117
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,167
[whispering]
Little do they know

118
00:04:05,167 --> 00:04:07,200
I have my own plans
for these--

119
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:08,400
Scudworth.

120
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,167
You're walking
on thin ice, man,

121
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,933
clone of Karen Carpenter thin.

122
00:04:11,933 --> 00:04:14,667
I think this is an issue
we should talk about...

123
00:04:14,667 --> 00:04:17,067
in person.

124
00:04:17,067 --> 00:04:19,300
Maybe we could have dinner.

125
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,167
Perhaps the Olive Garden.

126
00:04:21,167 --> 00:04:23,333
It's like eating
in the private kitchen

127
00:04:23,333 --> 00:04:26,067
of a delightful
Italian stereotype.

128
00:04:26,067 --> 00:04:29,433
We were thinking
somewhere more intimate.

129
00:04:29,433 --> 00:04:30,767
Your house.
Next Friday.

130
00:04:30,767 --> 00:04:32,300
No dairy.

131
00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:33,300
Please.

132
00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:34,367
[TV buzzes off]

133
00:04:34,367 --> 00:04:35,567
Damn it!

134
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:36,800
I haven't been

135
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:39,200
to the Olive Garden
in, like, forever!

136
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:40,667
[gentle music]

137
00:04:40,667 --> 00:04:41,667
[door creaks]

138
00:04:41,667 --> 00:04:43,067
[cheers and applause]

139
00:04:43,067 --> 00:04:45,933
Mr. Butlertron, my bosses
are coming over for dinner

140
00:04:45,933 --> 00:04:47,900
and look at this place.

141
00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:50,467
I haven't changed a thing
since I got my degree

142
00:04:50,467 --> 00:04:53,633
in the mad sciences
from ASU!

143
00:04:53,633 --> 00:04:56,067
[electronic voice]
Maybe some
overpriced knickknacks

144
00:04:56,067 --> 00:04:57,933
will add a touch of class.

145
00:04:57,933 --> 00:04:59,367
They've got
a great selection

146
00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:02,467
down at Restoration Pottery Pier
and Barrel.

147
00:05:02,467 --> 00:05:06,100
Are you thinking what
I'm programmed to be thinking?

148
00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:08,567
(both)
Shopping spree!

149
00:05:08,567 --> 00:05:09,833
[laughter]

150
00:05:09,833 --> 00:05:10,833
[door bangs]

151
00:05:10,833 --> 00:05:11,833
Shaka braddah!

152
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:13,067
George Washington
Carver!

153
00:05:13,067 --> 00:05:14,667
Damn it,
Gandhi.

154
00:05:14,667 --> 00:05:16,267
You know how I hate
to be interrupted

155
00:05:16,267 --> 00:05:17,500
while I'm in
my peanut lab.

156
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:18,867
Okay, check this out.

157
00:05:18,867 --> 00:05:21,100
I have this ass-kicking idea
for the film fest.

158
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:23,100
It's about these two cops,
and they're different,

159
00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:24,667
but in many ways,
they're the same.

160
00:05:24,667 --> 00:05:26,133
It's starring me,
and check this out.

161
00:05:26,133 --> 00:05:27,733
- It's starring you.
- No.

162
00:05:27,733 --> 00:05:30,633
See, it's two different cops
from two different precincts

163
00:05:30,633 --> 00:05:33,433
learning to fight crime
together as buddies.

164
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:34,433
Please go
away.

165
00:05:34,433 --> 00:05:35,433
Check this out.

166
00:05:35,433 --> 00:05:36,700
You play Leon Black,

167
00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:39,233
and I'm Tandoori Jones.

168
00:05:39,233 --> 00:05:40,800
And you won't believe
what it's called.

169
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,567
- Black and Tan?
- Black and Tan!

170
00:05:42,567 --> 00:05:44,300
High five!
Racial pride!

171
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:48,067
I don't like those
movies, Mahatma.

172
00:05:48,067 --> 00:05:49,433
They're filled
with bad dialogue

173
00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:50,700
and trite plot twists,

174
00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:52,233
and they perpetuate
racial stereotypes.

175
00:05:52,233 --> 00:05:53,300
[paper rustles]

176
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:54,667
Nah, dog.

177
00:05:54,667 --> 00:05:57,267
See, this is about dissing
racial stereotypes.

178
00:05:57,267 --> 00:05:58,800
You know the old one about
how Indians and Blacks

179
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,133
don't get along?

180
00:06:00,133 --> 00:06:01,167
No.

181
00:06:01,167 --> 00:06:02,500
Well, Black and Tan will prove

182
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:03,733
that even though
we're different,

183
00:06:03,733 --> 00:06:06,167
we're ultimately
a hilarious combo.

184
00:06:06,167 --> 00:06:08,433
Good day, Gandhi.

185
00:06:08,433 --> 00:06:10,267
Good day.

186
00:06:10,267 --> 00:06:11,367
There's a part for the peanut.

187
00:06:13,067 --> 00:06:15,433
We're listening.

188
00:06:15,433 --> 00:06:17,233
[laughs]

189
00:06:17,233 --> 00:06:20,867
[rock music]

190
00:06:20,867 --> 00:06:22,133
Next.

191
00:06:22,133 --> 00:06:23,967
[whispering]
Thank God I got the key

192
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,533
to this editing room.

193
00:06:25,533 --> 00:06:27,100
Oh, yeah.

194
00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:28,933
Casting couch.

195
00:06:28,933 --> 00:06:30,200
[gentle music]

196
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:31,600
(Joan)
Wow.

197
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,567
Clip art.

198
00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:36,900
You know, I'm glad we get
to spend some time alone.

199
00:06:36,900 --> 00:06:37,900
Hi, Abe.

200
00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:39,200
My film is really
coming along.

201
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,600
I'm doing an autobiography
called

202
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,800
The Best of the Best
of the Best

203
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,200
of the Best
of the Best.

204
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,400
The whole premise is
how tough it is to be me.

205
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:46,500
Popular,
smart,

206
00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:47,500
well-traveled,

207
00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:48,833
and incredibly
well-endowed

208
00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:49,967
boob-wise.

209
00:06:49,967 --> 00:06:51,700
Hey, is there a time limit
on the films?

210
00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:53,467
Would you tell
a sunset

211
00:06:53,467 --> 00:06:55,967
that it couldn't
last forever?

212
00:06:55,967 --> 00:06:58,067
Sunsets last
six minutes.

213
00:06:58,067 --> 00:06:59,333
Does a sunset
have a soundtrack

214
00:06:59,333 --> 00:07:01,400
featuring
Smash Mouth?

215
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:02,933
See ya.

216
00:07:02,933 --> 00:07:04,067
And, Abe,

217
00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:05,567
I'll see you...

218
00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:07,600
at the movies.

219
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,733
Wow.

220
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,300
[gasps]

221
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:13,433
[whimpers]

222
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,867
[sobbing]

223
00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:18,733
Joan!

224
00:07:18,733 --> 00:07:21,633
[panting]

225
00:07:21,633 --> 00:07:23,967
Joan, thank God
you're okay.

226
00:07:23,967 --> 00:07:25,967
I've been looking all over
the restaurant for you.

227
00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:29,100
Abe, we put out an APB
on your missing friend.

228
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:31,233
It's okay, officer.
I found her.

229
00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:32,933
What are you
doing here?

230
00:07:32,933 --> 00:07:33,967
It's not safe.

231
00:07:33,967 --> 00:07:35,833
This table's not
even bussed.

232
00:07:35,833 --> 00:07:36,867
[sighs]

233
00:07:36,867 --> 00:07:38,533
I don't know how to say this.

234
00:07:38,533 --> 00:07:40,600
You don't have to.

235
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,567
You think the film fest
is too commercial.

236
00:07:42,567 --> 00:07:44,567
- I do?
- Yes.

237
00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:47,233
Film at Clone High used to be
just you and Andy Warhol

238
00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:48,967
and your disturbing art films.

239
00:07:48,967 --> 00:07:51,333
But now Cleo's got her epic,
Gandhi's doing his cop movie,

240
00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:54,167
and Mother Teresa's got that
teen slasher sex romp.

241
00:07:54,167 --> 00:07:56,167
But it's not about them.

242
00:07:56,167 --> 00:07:58,267
This festival's
all about you,

243
00:07:58,267 --> 00:07:59,267
Joan.

244
00:07:59,267 --> 00:08:00,700
Me?

245
00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:01,767
Abe?

246
00:08:01,767 --> 00:08:04,800
You and me
and what you have

247
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:05,800
here...

248
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:06,800
[moans]

249
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,500
Heart-wise.

250
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:09,767
Like my film.

251
00:08:09,767 --> 00:08:11,467
It's everything
I've been wadding up

252
00:08:11,467 --> 00:08:13,733
in the sad chamber
of my heart.

253
00:08:13,733 --> 00:08:16,133
And now I'm shooting that wad.

254
00:08:16,133 --> 00:08:17,933
In 35 millimeter.

255
00:08:17,933 --> 00:08:19,333
Joan, isn't there
just one thing

256
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:22,067
in that beautiful
and honest heart of yours

257
00:08:22,067 --> 00:08:23,433
that you need
to express?

258
00:08:23,433 --> 00:08:24,433
Yes, Abe.

259
00:08:24,433 --> 00:08:25,433
I love--

260
00:08:25,433 --> 00:08:27,167
Shh.

261
00:08:27,167 --> 00:08:28,967
- Don't tell me.
- Mm?

262
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,500
- Show me...
- Mm.

263
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:32,867
In your film.

264
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:37,833
Well,
I'll see you guys.

265
00:08:43,300 --> 00:08:44,400
[rock music]

266
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:45,567
(Ang)
Okay, now, Cleo, baby.

267
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,167
This is the shot
where you reveal

268
00:08:47,167 --> 00:08:49,667
how difficult
your life really is.

269
00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:50,667
And go.

270
00:08:50,667 --> 00:08:53,067
Oh, I'm sorry, Ang.

271
00:08:53,067 --> 00:08:54,467
Am I having a nightmare?

272
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:55,733
Because if I was awake,

273
00:08:55,733 --> 00:08:57,467
those cue cards would be
written in calligraphy!

274
00:08:57,467 --> 00:08:58,700
Oh, my God.

275
00:08:58,700 --> 00:09:00,233
I am so sorry.

276
00:09:00,233 --> 00:09:02,167
Get the hell out of here.

277
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,867
You are not my son.

278
00:09:03,867 --> 00:09:04,933
[whimpers]

279
00:09:04,933 --> 00:09:07,300
Okay, remember,
you're Gabe.

280
00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:08,600
Gabe

281
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,300
[French accent]
"Link-on."

282
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,100
Now, your motivation
is that you're in love

283
00:09:12,100 --> 00:09:13,467
with your best friend,

284
00:09:13,467 --> 00:09:15,333
but you just
haven't told her yet.

285
00:09:15,333 --> 00:09:16,333
And go.

286
00:09:16,333 --> 00:09:17,467
Line.

287
00:09:17,467 --> 00:09:19,533
[scoffs]
There is no line right now.

288
00:09:19,533 --> 00:09:20,833
You just scream
and weep.

289
00:09:20,833 --> 00:09:22,100
And go.

290
00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:25,300
[screaming]

291
00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:28,200
Ah, boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo.

292
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,500
At first, I thought
you were whack, Black.

293
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:33,733
But now, we've both learned
that when East meets West,

294
00:09:33,733 --> 00:09:35,233
it's deadly.

295
00:09:35,233 --> 00:09:37,567
(Peanut)
Uno momento,
Black and Tan.

296
00:09:37,567 --> 00:09:38,567
[suspenseful music]

297
00:09:38,567 --> 00:09:40,167
Eat shell!

298
00:09:40,167 --> 00:09:43,167
[gunfire]

299
00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:46,167
[laughing maniacally]

300
00:09:46,167 --> 00:09:49,067
[dramatic music]

301
00:09:49,067 --> 00:09:51,267
Go to hell,
Señor Peanie!

302
00:09:51,267 --> 00:09:54,400
Last one there's a rotten heuvo.

303
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:57,867
[laughing maniacally]

304
00:09:57,867 --> 00:09:58,900
Say what?

305
00:09:58,900 --> 00:09:59,900
(Gandhi)
Cut.

306
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,133
No, no,
no, man.

307
00:10:01,133 --> 00:10:02,933
You're making me
fall asleep.

308
00:10:02,933 --> 00:10:04,600
To death, bro.

309
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,600
Okay, the line is,

310
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,500
"Say wha-a-a-at?"

311
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:10,400
- "Say what?"
- "Say wha-a-a-at?"

312
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:11,867
- "Say what?"
- "Say"...

313
00:10:11,867 --> 00:10:13,500
- "Say"...
- "Wha-a-a-at?"

314
00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:14,600
- "What?"
- "Say wha-a-a-at?"

315
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,167
Gandhi!

316
00:10:16,167 --> 00:10:17,833
This character is not me.

317
00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:19,400
- Say wha-a-a-t?
- Stop it!

318
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:20,533
Listen!

319
00:10:20,533 --> 00:10:22,600
You and I
don't get along.

320
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,300
I'm off the project.

321
00:10:27,700 --> 00:10:31,167
Watch out for that water tower!

322
00:10:31,167 --> 00:10:32,367
[dramatic music]

323
00:10:32,367 --> 00:10:34,233
[Gandhi grunts]

324
00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:36,800
[water tower crashes]

325
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:38,600
Wow, G-Dub.

326
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,567
You saved my life.

327
00:10:40,567 --> 00:10:43,367
Hey man, would you stay
if I rewrote your character?

328
00:10:43,367 --> 00:10:44,733
No.

329
00:10:44,733 --> 00:10:46,600
I'll rewrite it.

330
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:48,700
My way.

331
00:10:48,700 --> 00:10:51,900
Say wha-a-a-at?

332
00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:54,500
Remember, this film
is my heart.

333
00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:57,667
I want your voice to weep
with honesty and truth

334
00:10:57,667 --> 00:10:59,833
and all that is real
in this world.

335
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,667
And go.

336
00:11:01,667 --> 00:11:03,167
[deadpan] There's nothing
in the rulebook

337
00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:04,833
that says a giraffe
can't play football.

338
00:11:04,833 --> 00:11:06,267
No, feel it!

339
00:11:06,267 --> 00:11:08,367
[deadpan, slower]
There's nothing in the rulebook

340
00:11:08,367 --> 00:11:12,133
that says a giraffe
can't play football.

341
00:11:12,133 --> 00:11:15,067
[clapping slowly]

342
00:11:16,367 --> 00:11:18,433
[gentle music]

343
00:11:18,433 --> 00:11:20,867
Get out your fun-brella,
Mr. B.,

344
00:11:20,867 --> 00:11:23,633
because it's raining style.

345
00:11:23,633 --> 00:11:25,233
(male singer)
* When you need a new start

346
00:11:25,233 --> 00:11:26,433
* Just look in your heart

347
00:11:26,433 --> 00:11:28,967
* And begin the redecoration

348
00:11:28,967 --> 00:11:30,800
* Your problems will end

349
00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:32,167
* When you start to spend

350
00:11:32,167 --> 00:11:34,533
* On a rug from
a third world nation *

351
00:11:34,533 --> 00:11:37,800
* We're expressing ourselves *

352
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,533
* Expressing ourselves

353
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:40,533
[Joan grunts]

354
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,067
* Sometimes it's fun *

355
00:11:42,067 --> 00:11:43,133
* When you are young

356
00:11:43,133 --> 00:11:46,167
* To bottle up your emotions

357
00:11:46,167 --> 00:11:47,567
* But then you realize

358
00:11:47,567 --> 00:11:48,833
* We're all gonna die *

359
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,533
* If we don't get
into the motion *

360
00:11:51,533 --> 00:11:53,467
* Of expressing ourselves

361
00:11:53,467 --> 00:11:54,733
* Do it right

362
00:11:54,733 --> 00:11:57,067
* Working real hard
all through the night *

363
00:11:57,067 --> 00:11:59,500
* To let everybody know

364
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:02,267
* Who we are

365
00:12:02,267 --> 00:12:05,300
* Who we are

366
00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:08,467
* Who we are

367
00:12:08,467 --> 00:12:10,300
* Expressing yourself

368
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:12,100
[machinery whirring]

369
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:13,967
Well, there it is.

370
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,433
I'm finished.

371
00:12:15,433 --> 00:12:16,700
(JFK)
Well, I'm not.

372
00:12:16,700 --> 00:12:18,433
Keep it down
over there.

373
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:21,067
Finally, a film
that perfectly expresses

374
00:12:21,067 --> 00:12:22,900
all of my feelings for Abe.

375
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:24,067
Hey, Joan.

376
00:12:24,067 --> 00:12:25,467
What was that you were
saying quietly?

377
00:12:25,467 --> 00:12:27,067
Abe!
Hi.

378
00:12:27,067 --> 00:12:28,167
I just finished my film,

379
00:12:28,167 --> 00:12:29,900
and it really expresses
my true--

380
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:31,433
I'm so
proud of you.

381
00:12:31,433 --> 00:12:33,933
Opening yourself up and
expressing what's inside--

382
00:12:33,933 --> 00:12:36,167
you're such an honest
and true friend.

383
00:12:36,167 --> 00:12:37,233
Friend?

384
00:12:37,233 --> 00:12:38,600
It's been hard
for me because

385
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,967
I'm trying to win over Cleo
and run the film fest.

386
00:12:40,967 --> 00:12:42,100
But knowing
that I have you

387
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:44,067
as a pal gives me
the strength to do it.

388
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:46,067
- Pal?
- Don't worry, bro.

389
00:12:46,067 --> 00:12:47,300
Cleo will never
take your place

390
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,467
as my best friend.

391
00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:49,600
Bro?

392
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,367
Yeah, even closer
than a sister.

393
00:12:51,367 --> 00:12:53,467
So close that we could
sleep in the same bed

394
00:12:53,467 --> 00:12:54,533
and never touch or kiss.

395
00:12:54,533 --> 00:12:55,600
So anyway,

396
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,867
thanks for expressing
yourself, man.

397
00:12:58,867 --> 00:13:00,100
Man.

398
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,533
[whooshing]

399
00:13:02,533 --> 00:13:03,800
[crash]

400
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,100
Joan, I almost forgot
to pick up your--

401
00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:07,967
Amigo? Buddy? Fella?

402
00:13:07,967 --> 00:13:08,967
Where are you, guy?

403
00:13:08,967 --> 00:13:10,133
[melancholy music]

404
00:13:10,133 --> 00:13:13,067
Hey, what's this?

405
00:13:13,067 --> 00:13:15,800
You're going to express
yourself, Joan,

406
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,333
even if I have
to do it for you.

407
00:13:18,333 --> 00:13:19,833
[inhales deeply]

408
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:21,500
(JFK)
Do you mind?

409
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:25,067
Some of us are nailing
Catherine the Great here.

410
00:13:25,067 --> 00:13:28,900
Or should I say
Catherine the So-So?

411
00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:30,367
*

412
00:13:32,967 --> 00:13:33,967
[drumroll]

413
00:13:33,967 --> 00:13:36,333
[camera shutters clicking]

414
00:13:36,333 --> 00:13:38,533
[stirring orchestral music]

415
00:13:38,533 --> 00:13:40,667
Wha--

416
00:13:40,667 --> 00:13:42,433
Abe, Abe, Abe,

417
00:13:42,433 --> 00:13:43,633
why is my name
on the program?

418
00:13:43,633 --> 00:13:45,700
Because it deserves to be.

419
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:47,333
I found your film
in the trash can,

420
00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:48,500
and I submitted it.

421
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:50,667
No, no, you don't
understand, Abe.

422
00:13:50,667 --> 00:13:52,867
This film is embarrassing...

423
00:13:52,867 --> 00:13:54,333
[whispering]
For both of us.

424
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:57,133
How could I be embarrassed
by a friend?

425
00:13:57,133 --> 00:13:58,533
Pow, pow-pow, pow, pow.

426
00:13:58,533 --> 00:13:59,533
Who's got the legs?

427
00:13:59,533 --> 00:14:01,100
Me, that's who, me.

428
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:02,533
Who knows, Joan?

429
00:14:02,533 --> 00:14:06,133
Maybe your film
will change the world.

430
00:14:06,133 --> 00:14:08,600
[whispering]
That's what I'm afraid of.

431
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,900
[banging]
- Open up, Thomas Edison!

432
00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:12,733
I know what you're
after, Joan.

433
00:14:12,733 --> 00:14:13,733
[snorts]

434
00:14:13,733 --> 00:14:14,833
And you're not
gonna get it.

435
00:14:14,833 --> 00:14:16,700
But you don't
understand.

436
00:14:16,700 --> 00:14:18,167
Or do I?
[snorts]

437
00:14:18,167 --> 00:14:19,167
No!

438
00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:20,167
Or is it yes?

439
00:14:20,167 --> 00:14:22,200
No!
Let me in!

440
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,267
You can try
all you want, Joan.

441
00:14:24,267 --> 00:14:25,367
[snorts]

442
00:14:25,367 --> 00:14:26,700
But we both know that
even an angry woman

443
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,933
can't claw through steel
that's 2 feet thick.

444
00:14:28,933 --> 00:14:30,833
[snorting]

445
00:14:30,833 --> 00:14:32,067
[gentle music]

446
00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:34,233
Well, the apartment's
all finished.

447
00:14:34,233 --> 00:14:36,800
I couldn't have done it
without you, Mr. B.

448
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,200
And speaking of without you,

449
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,767
go hide in the kitchen.

450
00:14:39,767 --> 00:14:41,933
But Wesley--

451
00:14:41,933 --> 00:14:45,333
My entire career is riding on
the success of this dinner.

452
00:14:45,333 --> 00:14:47,833
And I don't need
the electronic help

453
00:14:47,833 --> 00:14:48,933
muddling it up.

454
00:14:48,933 --> 00:14:50,833
[Mr. Butlertron squeaking]

455
00:14:50,833 --> 00:14:54,067
Don't let him see you cry.

456
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:57,333
Just make it to the kitchen.

457
00:14:57,333 --> 00:14:58,800
[door thuds]

458
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,800
[Mr. Butlertron wailing]

459
00:15:03,733 --> 00:15:05,867
(male narrator)
[intensely] Meet Leon Black,

460
00:15:05,867 --> 00:15:09,633
a Harvard-educated scientist
turned expert police detective.

461
00:15:09,633 --> 00:15:11,533
(male narrator)
[jovially] Meet Tandoori Jones,

462
00:15:11,533 --> 00:15:15,467
a jive-talking, smooth-walking,
typical Indian supercop

463
00:15:15,467 --> 00:15:17,333
who plays by his own rules:

464
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,833
none!

465
00:15:18,833 --> 00:15:20,300
(male narrator)
[intensely] Together,
they are...

466
00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:23,233
[gunfire]

467
00:15:28,933 --> 00:15:31,467
Black and Tan.

468
00:15:31,467 --> 00:15:33,067
[car tires squealing,
sirens wailing]

469
00:15:33,067 --> 00:15:34,300
[gunfire]

470
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,833
Thus concludes
this caper.

471
00:15:36,833 --> 00:15:39,367
And speaking
of capers,

472
00:15:39,367 --> 00:15:42,100
I thought we ordered
from a deli.

473
00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:44,133
Oh, it's from a deli
all right.

474
00:15:44,133 --> 00:15:45,567
New Delhi,

475
00:15:45,567 --> 00:15:47,067
India.

476
00:15:47,067 --> 00:15:49,300
We've been transferred there
for our next adventure.

477
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:51,700
What is that
you say?

478
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:53,133
[explosion booms]

479
00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:57,167
[intense music]

480
00:15:57,167 --> 00:15:58,500
[cheers and applause]

481
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,867
Now I'd like
to introduce my film

482
00:16:00,867 --> 00:16:02,533
It Takes a Hero.

483
00:16:02,533 --> 00:16:04,967
Here is my soul, friends.

484
00:16:04,967 --> 00:16:06,367
My soul.

485
00:16:06,367 --> 00:16:09,367
[dramatic music]

486
00:16:09,367 --> 00:16:11,267
*

487
00:16:11,267 --> 00:16:12,967
[crowd cheering]

488
00:16:12,967 --> 00:16:13,900
(man)
Hut.

489
00:16:15,533 --> 00:16:16,533
[thud]

490
00:16:16,533 --> 00:16:18,700
*

491
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:20,400
[crowd gasps]

492
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:25,100
*

493
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:26,667
I love you.

494
00:16:26,667 --> 00:16:28,900
*

495
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:30,733
[whistle blows]

496
00:16:30,733 --> 00:16:32,067
[giraffe grunts]

497
00:16:32,067 --> 00:16:34,833
[deadpan]
He's going home.

498
00:16:34,833 --> 00:16:35,833
[crowd cheering]

499
00:16:35,833 --> 00:16:37,467
[warbling tone]

500
00:16:37,467 --> 00:16:39,633
I have your baby in me,
giraffe!

501
00:16:39,633 --> 00:16:41,300
[dramatic musical flourish]

502
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:42,867
[projector whirring]

503
00:16:42,867 --> 00:16:45,267
[applause,
indistinct murmuring]

504
00:16:45,267 --> 00:16:46,267
Wow.

505
00:16:46,267 --> 00:16:48,067
[exhales]

506
00:16:48,067 --> 00:16:49,800
Single tear.
[chuckles]

507
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,800
Okay.
[chuckles]

508
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,367
Our next film, by Cleopatra,
is titled

509
00:16:54,367 --> 00:16:56,467
The Best of the Best of the--

510
00:16:56,467 --> 00:16:57,467
Oh, my God!

511
00:16:57,467 --> 00:16:58,467
[crash]

512
00:16:58,467 --> 00:17:00,400
Ow.

513
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,633
Damn coal-powered projectors.

514
00:17:02,633 --> 00:17:03,833
[snorts]

515
00:17:03,833 --> 00:17:05,567
Well, all of the films
are ruined...

516
00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:07,400
There is no God!

517
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,067
There is a God!

518
00:17:09,067 --> 00:17:12,333
Except Joan's film, which is
somehow expanded in the fire

519
00:17:12,333 --> 00:17:14,233
and will now be seen
in wide-screen.

520
00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:15,233
[snorts]

521
00:17:15,233 --> 00:17:16,800
[grunts]
There is no God.

522
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,067
This is
a sign, Joan.

523
00:17:19,067 --> 00:17:20,367
If you don't
express yourself,

524
00:17:20,367 --> 00:17:21,733
you'll just keep
saying, "Fine"

525
00:17:21,733 --> 00:17:23,467
when someone asks you
how you are.

526
00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:24,767
And then one day,
someone will say,

527
00:17:24,767 --> 00:17:25,933
"How are you, Joan?"

528
00:17:25,933 --> 00:17:28,067
And you know what
your answer will be?

529
00:17:28,067 --> 00:17:29,333
There won't be one,

530
00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:31,100
because you'll be dead.

531
00:17:33,333 --> 00:17:34,300
[crickets chirping,
dog barks]

532
00:17:38,067 --> 00:17:39,333
So...

533
00:17:39,333 --> 00:17:41,867
Religion's
for fools, eh?

534
00:17:41,867 --> 00:17:43,767
Fools and
liberals.

535
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,867
[tender piano music]

536
00:17:50,867 --> 00:17:52,433
(Mr. Butlertron)
Hello.

537
00:17:52,433 --> 00:17:54,233
Am I in space?

538
00:17:54,233 --> 00:17:57,933
Because you all look
out of this world.

539
00:17:57,933 --> 00:18:01,533
[laughter]

540
00:18:01,533 --> 00:18:04,267
[creaks]

541
00:18:04,267 --> 00:18:06,267
Board of
Shadowy Figures,

542
00:18:06,267 --> 00:18:08,500
I'd like you to meet
Mr. Butlertron,

543
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:12,967
my butle--
no, my friend.

544
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,633
Well, Scudworth,
I must confess

545
00:18:14,633 --> 00:18:16,867
we actually came
to dinner tonight to kill you.

546
00:18:16,867 --> 00:18:18,133
[laughter]

547
00:18:18,133 --> 00:18:19,467
But we've had
such a wonderful time

548
00:18:19,467 --> 00:18:22,133
that we're going
to give you another chance.

549
00:18:22,133 --> 00:18:23,900
Oh, Mr. B.

550
00:18:23,900 --> 00:18:25,633
You've done
it again.

551
00:18:25,633 --> 00:18:27,467
[applause]

552
00:18:27,467 --> 00:18:31,067
Look, I think it's obvious
what this is about,

553
00:18:31,067 --> 00:18:34,067
so let's just get it over with.

554
00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:35,933
[solemn violin music]

555
00:18:35,933 --> 00:18:37,767
Whisper,
whisper.

556
00:18:37,767 --> 00:18:38,933
Hush,
hush.

557
00:18:38,933 --> 00:18:40,400
[clock ticking]

558
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,767
[dolphins chattering]

559
00:18:43,767 --> 00:18:46,500
[screaming]

560
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,100
Ah, boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo.

561
00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:50,400
[distorted whimpering]

562
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,733
Celine Dion-athon,
Celine Dion-athon.

563
00:18:52,733 --> 00:18:55,333
[railroad crossing bell dinging]

564
00:18:55,333 --> 00:18:56,533
[distorted moaning]

565
00:18:56,533 --> 00:18:57,533
[zap]

566
00:18:57,533 --> 00:18:58,600
[whirring and buzzing]

567
00:18:58,600 --> 00:18:59,600
[fire whooshes]

568
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,067
[violin music]

569
00:19:01,067 --> 00:19:02,167
[coughing]

570
00:19:02,167 --> 00:19:03,500
[bag pipe blares off-key]

571
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:05,067
[telephone rings]

572
00:19:05,067 --> 00:19:06,667
Whisper.

573
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:09,233
[distorted, drawn-out]
Whisper.

574
00:19:09,233 --> 00:19:10,800
Whisper.

575
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,067
(both)
Paella.

576
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:13,200
[slap]

577
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,933
- Shh.
[eerie violin music]

578
00:19:15,933 --> 00:19:20,200
[projector whirring]

579
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,500
(all)
Huh.

580
00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:24,500
Ha, ha, ha-ha-ha!
You love Abe!

581
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:26,067
[sighs]
Go away, Sigmund Freud.

582
00:19:26,067 --> 00:19:28,067
Could it be
any more obvious?

583
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:29,167
Hmm-hmm-hmm,
hmm, hmm, hmm.

584
00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:30,867
- Hmm-hmm-hmm--
[metal clangs]

585
00:19:30,867 --> 00:19:32,667
Well, that's it.

586
00:19:32,667 --> 00:19:35,867
Wasn't this
the best film fest ever?

587
00:19:35,867 --> 00:19:37,267
(audience)
Yeah!

588
00:19:37,267 --> 00:19:39,600
I can't hear you, Clone High.

589
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,800
[all chanting]
Film fest! Film fest!

590
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,100
Film fest! Film fest!

591
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:46,100
Film fest!
Film fest!

592
00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:47,933
Film fest! Film fest!

593
00:19:47,933 --> 00:19:49,100
Film fest!
Film fest!

594
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:51,300
Film fest! Film fest!

595
00:19:51,300 --> 00:19:52,967
[gentle acoustic guitar music]

596
00:19:52,967 --> 00:19:55,833
So I guess things
are totally different now.

597
00:19:55,833 --> 00:19:57,133
Not really.

598
00:19:57,133 --> 00:19:58,233
Everyone's still
rioting.

599
00:19:58,233 --> 00:20:00,300
No, I mean my film.

600
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:03,067
Now you know the truth
about how I feel.

601
00:20:03,067 --> 00:20:05,400
Uh...
yeah.

602
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,467
And it doesn't
change things?

603
00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:08,800
Uh...

604
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,300
no?

605
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:13,067
Thanks for not
making this too weird.

606
00:20:13,067 --> 00:20:14,633
I just felt so exposed

607
00:20:14,633 --> 00:20:18,000
because mine was the only film
that was truly personal.

608
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,100
What?

609
00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:21,133
Did you watch
my movie, Joan,

610
00:20:21,133 --> 00:20:23,267
or did you
just see it?

611
00:20:23,267 --> 00:20:25,833
Unlike you, I didn't make
a beeline for the obvious.

612
00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:28,433
I used a little something
called symbolism.

613
00:20:28,433 --> 00:20:32,267
You see, Joan,
I was that giraffe.

614
00:20:32,267 --> 00:20:33,333
Wow.

615
00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:35,500
So if you were
the giraffe,

616
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:38,167
who was that
little girl?

617
00:20:38,167 --> 00:20:39,667
Good night, Joan.

618
00:20:39,667 --> 00:20:41,800
Good night.

619
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,500
*

620
00:20:43,500 --> 00:20:46,467
(male singer)
* And a chill is in the air

621
00:20:46,467 --> 00:20:48,300
*

622
00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:52,033
(male narrator)
Next time, on a very special
Clone High...

623
00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:55,900
JFK and Cleo
break up for reals.

624
00:20:55,900 --> 00:20:58,367
Joan and Cleo duke it out

625
00:20:58,367 --> 00:20:59,733
lady style.

626
00:20:59,733 --> 00:21:02,600
And something tragic
may or may not happen.

627
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:04,100
[car crashes]

628
00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:07,067
(Abandoned Pools singing)
* Way, way back in the 1980s

629
00:21:07,067 --> 00:21:09,633
* Secret government
employees *

630
00:21:09,633 --> 00:21:12,533
* Dug up famous
guys and ladies *

631
00:21:12,533 --> 00:21:15,433
* And made amusing
genetic copies *

632
00:21:15,433 --> 00:21:18,367
* Now the clones
are sexy teens now *

633
00:21:18,367 --> 00:21:21,233
* They're going to
make it if they try *

634
00:21:21,233 --> 00:21:24,167
* Loving, learning,
sharing, judging *

635
00:21:24,167 --> 00:21:30,367
* Time to laugh and
shiver and cry *

636
00:21:30,367 --> 00:21:33,533
* Clone High