1 00:00:06,333 --> 00:00:09,375 - [EVIL LAUGHTER] 2 00:00:11,083 --> 00:00:15,250 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP 3 00:00:32,875 --> 00:00:37,917 - I MISSED YOU... BUT MY AIM IS IMPROVING. 4 00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:52,500 - ALL RIGHT, MEN. 5 00:00:52,583 --> 00:00:57,042 YOU MUST DEFEND THIS FORT AT ALL COSTS! 6 00:00:58,125 --> 00:00:59,542 - IF YOU WON'T SURRENDER, 7 00:00:59,625 --> 00:01:03,667 THEN PREPARE TO FACE MY PEAS ACCORD. 8 00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:06,125 - [GUNFIRE] 9 00:01:09,333 --> 00:01:10,375 - [GIGGLING] 10 00:01:10,458 --> 00:01:13,208 - STAY OUT OF MY NEUTRAL ZONE! 11 00:01:13,292 --> 00:01:15,750 [GIGGLING] 12 00:01:18,667 --> 00:01:20,208 ARE YOU PREPARED TO SURRENDER, GENERAL? 13 00:01:20,292 --> 00:01:23,417 - HMM. HOW 'BOUT I GIVE YOU MY ANSWER AFTER LUNCH? 14 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,708 - VERY WELL. PULL UP AND PLACE YOUR ORDER, GENERAL. 15 00:01:26,792 --> 00:01:30,102 - I'll HAVE THE BACON QUINTUPLE CHEESEBURGER WITH ONION RINGS. 16 00:01:30,126 --> 00:01:32,500 - WE ONLY SERVE FRIES AT THIS ESTABLISHMENT. 17 00:01:32,583 --> 00:01:34,292 - HEY, THAT'S NOT FAIR, BILLY. 18 00:01:34,375 --> 00:01:37,000 WHAT KIND OF RESTAURANT DOESN'T HAVE ONION RINGS? 19 00:01:37,083 --> 00:01:40,000 - SO, WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT, IRWIN? 20 00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:43,167 I WIPED OUT YOUR ENTIRE ARMY! 21 00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:46,000 [LAUGHING] 22 00:01:48,583 --> 00:01:49,708 [LAUGHING] 23 00:01:49,792 --> 00:01:52,500 - YOU FORGOT ABOUT MY AIR FORCE! 24 00:01:52,583 --> 00:01:55,542 AIR STRIKE! 25 00:01:55,625 --> 00:01:59,333 - MY MOBILE ARMY FAST FOOD UNIT! 26 00:01:59,417 --> 00:02:03,042 GOOD-BYE, GENERAL. 27 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:06,750 - [CRASH] 28 00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:08,875 - OH, MY JEEP! 29 00:02:08,958 --> 00:02:12,542 UH, BILLY? AREN'T YOU SCARED TO GO DOWN THERE? 30 00:02:12,625 --> 00:02:14,542 - I AIN'T SCARED OF NOTHING! 31 00:02:14,625 --> 00:02:16,792 HERE I COME! 32 00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:17,976 [LAUGHING] 33 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,125 ♪ DO DO WHOP WHOP ♪ 34 00:02:19,208 --> 00:02:21,792 ♪ I'M IN THE BASEMENT, AND I'M LOVING IT! ♪ 35 00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,917 ♪ UH DAH UH UH ♪ 36 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,667 [WHISTLING] 37 00:02:31,792 --> 00:02:34,417 SO, THAT'S WHERE YOU WENT. 38 00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:37,042 HEY, IRWIN, I FOUND IT! 39 00:02:37,125 --> 00:02:39,042 HERE I COME. 40 00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:40,833 HEY, IRWIN, IF YOU'RE EVER DOWN HERE, 41 00:02:40,917 --> 00:02:43,958 WATCH OUT FOR THESE PESKY COBWEBS. 42 00:02:44,542 --> 00:02:46,750 [WHISTLING] 43 00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:51,125 OH, IRWIN! 44 00:02:51,208 --> 00:02:54,875 [GIGGLING] 45 00:02:57,417 --> 00:02:59,167 IRWIN! 46 00:02:59,458 --> 00:03:00,708 IRWIN! 47 00:03:00,792 --> 00:03:02,351 - [MUSIC PLAYING, BABY CRYING, JACKHAMMER HAMMERING] 48 00:03:02,375 --> 00:03:05,167 - OH, WELL, I'M NOT SCARED OF BEING COMPLETELY IMMOBILIZED 49 00:03:05,250 --> 00:03:07,090 AND ALONE IN A DARK AND TERRIFYING ENVIRONMENT. 50 00:03:07,125 --> 00:03:09,458 I'll JUST WAIT HERE UNTIL SOMEBODY SAVES ME. 51 00:03:09,542 --> 00:03:12,000 [WHISTLING] 52 00:03:19,167 --> 00:03:21,750 [BLOWING RASPBERRIES] 53 00:03:21,833 --> 00:03:27,417 OH, FINALLY! A CHAMPION HAS COME TO RESCUE ME! 54 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,208 HUH? 55 00:03:34,750 --> 00:03:37,167 [SCREAMING] 56 00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:39,417 THANK YOU FOR CALLING, THIS IS BILLY. 57 00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:41,625 - [PUDIN MUMBLING] 58 00:03:41,708 --> 00:03:43,667 - YOU KNOW WHAT, PUDIN, I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW. 59 00:03:43,750 --> 00:03:46,250 I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF BEING SCARED TO DEATH. 60 00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:47,185 [LAUGHING] 61 00:03:47,209 --> 00:03:49,292 I'll CALL YOU BACK, OK? 62 00:03:49,375 --> 00:03:51,375 [SCREAMING] 63 00:03:54,292 --> 00:03:55,976 - HUH? DAD? 64 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,375 [LAUGHING] 65 00:03:57,458 --> 00:04:00,375 OH, I DIDN'T SCARE YOU, DID I? 66 00:04:02,625 --> 00:04:04,500 - DIE, EVIL SPIDER! 67 00:04:04,583 --> 00:04:06,708 [SCREAMING] 68 00:04:06,792 --> 00:04:10,208 - OH, DAD, THIS IS JUST LIKE OLD TIMES. 69 00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:11,000 HEY, DAD. 70 00:04:11,083 --> 00:04:12,167 - GET AWAY! 71 00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:14,083 - I'VE GOT SOME REALLY BIG NEWS TO TELL YOU. 72 00:04:14,167 --> 00:04:15,333 - [STAMMERING] 73 00:04:15,417 --> 00:04:18,083 - I'VE JUST LAID THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF EGGS. 74 00:04:18,167 --> 00:04:19,287 DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? 75 00:04:19,333 --> 00:04:20,208 - AAH! 76 00:04:20,292 --> 00:04:21,833 - YEP, YOU'RE GONNA BE A GRANDPA. 77 00:04:21,917 --> 00:04:24,417 - BUT... BUT... THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. 78 00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,083 YOU'RE A BOY SPIDER. 79 00:04:26,167 --> 00:04:28,500 - YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, TOO... 80 00:04:28,583 --> 00:04:30,167 UNTIL I HAD THESE. 81 00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:33,250 - [SCREAMING] 82 00:04:35,083 --> 00:04:37,125 IT'S BACK! AAH! 83 00:04:37,208 --> 00:04:38,875 - WHERE'S HE GOING? 84 00:04:38,958 --> 00:04:41,708 - [SCREAMING] 85 00:04:45,708 --> 00:04:48,750 - OH, HEY, GUYS. HAVE YOU SEEN MY DAD? 86 00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:50,042 - AAH! 87 00:04:50,125 --> 00:04:51,333 - IMPRESSIVE. I'VE BEEN TRYING 88 00:04:51,417 --> 00:04:53,417 TO HAVE THAT POWER OVER HIM FOR YEARS. 89 00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,000 IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR THE DODO, 90 00:04:55,083 --> 00:04:56,518 HE'S UP IN THE OLD BILLBOARD TEA CUP. 91 00:04:56,542 --> 00:04:59,083 - AWESOME, 'CAUSE I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO HIM. 92 00:04:59,167 --> 00:05:01,125 SEE, I JUST LAID A WHOLE BUNCH OF EGGS, 93 00:05:01,208 --> 00:05:04,042 BUT UNLIKE PEOPLE, ONCE WE SPIDERS LAY OUR EGGS, 94 00:05:04,125 --> 00:05:05,875 WE ONLY HAVE 36 HOURS TO LIVE. 95 00:05:05,958 --> 00:05:09,500 ANYWAY, I WON'T BE AROUND TO SEE THE LITTLE FELLAS GROW UP, 96 00:05:09,583 --> 00:05:11,292 SO I NEED SOMEONE TO BE THEIR GODFATHER. 97 00:05:11,375 --> 00:05:15,125 - SOLID PLAN, BUT YOU'RE FORGETTING ONE TINY DETAIL. 98 00:05:15,208 --> 00:05:17,375 BILLY HATES SPIDERS... INCLUDING YOU. 99 00:05:17,458 --> 00:05:19,167 HE'LL JUST END UP STOMPING ON YOUR BABIES. 100 00:05:19,250 --> 00:05:23,083 - NO PROBLEM. THAT'S WHY WE HAVE THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF THEM. 101 00:05:23,167 --> 00:05:24,625 THERE'S NO WAY HE CAN GET 'EM ALL! 102 00:05:24,708 --> 00:05:29,042 AND BESIDES, WHO WOULD WANT TO STEP ON THESE BEAUTIES? 103 00:05:29,125 --> 00:05:31,000 - OOH! 104 00:05:31,083 --> 00:05:32,958 - YOU'RE BASICALLY INSANE. 105 00:05:33,042 --> 00:05:35,083 AS FAR AS YOUR DORKY DAD IS CONCERNED, 106 00:05:35,167 --> 00:05:36,625 HE CAN'T STAY UP THERE FOREVER. 107 00:05:36,708 --> 00:05:38,750 - RIGHT. HE'LL HAVE TO COME DOWN TO EAT. 108 00:05:38,833 --> 00:05:42,083 - NAH, THAT BILLBOARD'S BEEN UP THERE SINCE THE 1940s. 109 00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:44,875 IT'S ALL RUSTED OUT, AND IT WON'T STAND THE EXTRA WEIGHT. 110 00:05:44,958 --> 00:05:48,583 IN FACT, I PREDICT THAT IN THE NEXT 15 SECONDS, THAT... 111 00:05:48,667 --> 00:05:51,000 - UGH! OOH! AH! 112 00:05:51,083 --> 00:05:52,500 - MAKE THAT TWO SECONDS. 113 00:05:52,583 --> 00:05:55,792 - YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY FROM ME THAT EASY. 114 00:05:56,208 --> 00:05:57,542 - [CAR STARTS] 115 00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:58,958 - HEY, GET BACK HERE! 116 00:05:59,042 --> 00:06:01,208 - COME ON, MANDY. THIS OUGHT TO BE FUN... 117 00:06:01,292 --> 00:06:03,917 LIKE WATCHING A TRAIN WRECK. 118 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:09,250 - MANDY! I CAN'T LET HER ESCAPE, BUT I NEED WHEELS. 119 00:06:09,958 --> 00:06:11,144 - WHY, HELLO THERE, LITTLE BOY. 120 00:06:11,168 --> 00:06:13,667 YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD USE SOME READING MATERIAL. 121 00:06:13,750 --> 00:06:17,417 - THE BOOKMOBILE COMES TO THE RESCUE AGAIN. 122 00:06:22,167 --> 00:06:24,167 - AAH! 123 00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:26,375 UGH! UGH! OOH! 124 00:06:26,458 --> 00:06:29,000 [GRUNTING] 125 00:06:29,083 --> 00:06:30,125 - COME ON, DAD. 126 00:06:30,208 --> 00:06:32,144 WHY DON'T SE SIT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT THIS 127 00:06:32,168 --> 00:06:33,708 LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE! 128 00:06:33,792 --> 00:06:35,750 - NEVER! 129 00:06:36,333 --> 00:06:39,042 [GRUNTING] 130 00:06:45,042 --> 00:06:46,333 - OOH, WIENER. 131 00:06:46,417 --> 00:06:50,792 - HEY, NOBODY SWIPES MY HOTDOG! 132 00:06:51,458 --> 00:06:52,583 - [SIREN RINGING] 133 00:06:52,667 --> 00:06:54,708 - AAH! - FREEZE! 134 00:06:54,792 --> 00:06:55,792 - [HORN HONKING] 135 00:06:55,875 --> 00:06:59,000 - SORRY! - LAW BREAKER! GET HIM! 136 00:06:59,083 --> 00:07:00,283 - [SCREAMING] - COMING THROUGH. 137 00:07:01,292 --> 00:07:04,708 - WASN'T THAT SOME SPIDER CHASING A COFFEE CUP? 138 00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,667 - SURE LOOKS LIKE IT, PAW. 139 00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:08,333 - WELL, LET'S GO GIT HIM! 140 00:07:08,417 --> 00:07:09,792 YEE-HA! 141 00:07:09,875 --> 00:07:11,500 - STEP ON IT, GRIM. WE'RE LOSING HIM. 142 00:07:11,583 --> 00:07:14,082 - THIS THING AIN'T SOME FANCY SPORTS CAR. 143 00:07:14,106 --> 00:07:15,542 IT ONLY GOES SO FAST. 144 00:07:15,625 --> 00:07:18,542 I'll HAVE TO CALL FOR BACKUP. 145 00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:25,042 - [MOANING] 146 00:07:28,042 --> 00:07:30,875 - HOLY SMOKES. DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG? 147 00:07:30,958 --> 00:07:33,917 - HEY, YOU! THAT'S MY CAR! 148 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,417 - UH, THAT WOULD EXPLAIN THE SMELL. 149 00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,625 NOT TO WORRY, THOUGH. I'M AN EXCELLENT DRIVER. 150 00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:40,144 I'VE GOT 3 ARMS AT THE 10:00 POSITION 151 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:43,000 AND ANOTHER TWO ARMS AT THE 1:00 POSITION. 152 00:07:43,083 --> 00:07:45,958 - [PANTING] 153 00:07:46,417 --> 00:07:49,125 ZOMBIE DRAG RACERS? 154 00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:50,667 [SCREAMING] 155 00:07:50,750 --> 00:07:53,417 - BAD SPIDER! BAD SPIDER! 156 00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:54,500 AAH! 157 00:07:54,583 --> 00:07:56,167 - [CRASH] 158 00:07:56,250 --> 00:07:57,542 - UGH. - OW. 159 00:07:57,625 --> 00:08:00,167 - [MOANING] 160 00:08:01,083 --> 00:08:02,500 - [SIREN BLARING] 161 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:06,102 - HA HA HA! THIS IS MORE FUN THAN THE FRENCH REVOLUTION! 162 00:08:06,126 --> 00:08:09,750 - 5 BUCKS SAYS THE MET HEAD ENDS UP AT THE BOTTOM OF THE WRECK. 163 00:08:09,833 --> 00:08:13,583 - MY MONEY IS ONE THE OBNOXIOUS ARACHNID. 164 00:08:16,042 --> 00:08:18,500 - KEEP CHASING DEATH AND THE MAIDEN, 165 00:08:18,583 --> 00:08:21,375 AND I'll CHECK OUT 12 MORE BOOKS. 166 00:08:21,458 --> 00:08:23,833 - YOU GOT IT, KID! 167 00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:34,375 - GOTTA LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE YOU CROSS THE STREET. 168 00:08:37,042 --> 00:08:38,083 - [TIRES SCREECH] 169 00:08:38,167 --> 00:08:40,125 - [CRASHING] 170 00:08:40,208 --> 00:08:43,375 - NICE AND SAFE. 171 00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:45,667 - [PANTING] 172 00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:49,208 - DAD? DAD! LOOK AHEAD OF YOU! 173 00:08:49,292 --> 00:08:50,375 - YOU CAN'T TRICK ME. 174 00:08:50,458 --> 00:08:53,500 YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME AND EAT MY GUTS! 175 00:08:53,583 --> 00:08:56,083 [SCREAMING] 176 00:08:56,167 --> 00:08:58,083 - WOW. WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT? 177 00:08:58,167 --> 00:08:59,292 - THAT'S MY SON! 178 00:08:59,375 --> 00:09:02,083 - [MOANING] 179 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,333 - AAH! 180 00:09:05,083 --> 00:09:06,458 MOMMY! 181 00:09:06,542 --> 00:09:09,125 - HOLD ON, DAD. 182 00:09:09,792 --> 00:09:12,750 - GO AHEAD! SAVE YOURSELVES! 183 00:09:12,833 --> 00:09:15,958 THERE'S NO MORE HOPE FOR ME. 184 00:09:16,042 --> 00:09:17,875 - [GASPING] 185 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:20,125 - OH, NO! 186 00:09:24,292 --> 00:09:25,292 GOTCHA. 187 00:09:25,375 --> 00:09:28,667 - [CHEERING] 188 00:09:28,750 --> 00:09:33,018 - IF ONLY EVERYONE HAD A SPIDER THAT SWEET. 189 00:09:33,042 --> 00:09:35,000 - HEY, YOU, COME HERE. 190 00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:36,917 [WHISPERING] 191 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:37,976 - YEAH. 192 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:41,708 ONE FOR YOU, AND ONE FOR YOU. THERE YOU GO, SIR. 193 00:09:41,792 --> 00:09:43,875 I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS, EVERYBODY. 194 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,125 THAT'S RIGHT, LITTLE GUYS. 195 00:09:45,208 --> 00:09:49,042 ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE GONNA TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU. 196 00:09:50,583 --> 00:09:54,125 - AWW. 197 00:09:54,208 --> 00:09:56,833 [SCREAMING] 198 00:09:58,542 --> 00:10:01,125 - [SCREAMING] 199 00:10:03,750 --> 00:10:04,750 - [LAUGHING] 200 00:10:04,833 --> 00:10:07,167 CAREFUL, LITTLE CRITTERS. I'M TICKLISH. 201 00:10:07,250 --> 00:10:08,333 - YAOH! 202 00:10:08,417 --> 00:10:10,083 - HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU HAVE LEFT? 203 00:10:10,167 --> 00:10:13,125 - HMM. IT'S BEEN WELL OVER 36 HOURS 204 00:10:13,208 --> 00:10:14,375 SINCE I LAID THOSE EGGS. 205 00:10:14,458 --> 00:10:15,858 I JUST WISH I HAD A LITTLE MORE TIME 206 00:10:15,917 --> 00:10:17,917 SO I COULD LET DAD KNOW HOW MUCH HE MEANS TO ME. 207 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,042 - WELL, YOU'RE STILL BREATHING... FOR THE MOMENT, 208 00:10:21,125 --> 00:10:22,417 SO ENJOY THE TIME YOU GOT. 209 00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:25,125 - THAT WAS ONE HECK OF A WILD RIDE, DAD. 210 00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,333 THINGS DIDN'T TURN OUT QUITE THE WAY I PLANNED, 211 00:10:27,417 --> 00:10:30,000 BUT IT ALL WORKED OUT IN THE END. 212 00:10:34,083 --> 00:10:36,833 - YOU STOPPED JEFF FROM KICKING THE BUCKET. 213 00:10:36,917 --> 00:10:39,042 THAT'S AWFULLY NICE OF YOU. 214 00:10:39,125 --> 00:10:41,625 - WELL, I DON'T CARE MUCH FOR SPIDERS, 215 00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:47,750 BUT I DO LOVE TO SEE BILLY WET HIS PANTS IN SHEER TERROR! 216 00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:52,042 - I LOVE YOU, DAD. 217 00:10:52,125 --> 00:10:55,125 - [SCREAMING] 218 00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:10,625 - [ROARING] 219 00:11:15,958 --> 00:11:18,625 - [GRUNTING] 220 00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:21,000 - [SCREAMING] 221 00:11:22,125 --> 00:11:24,833 - [ROARING] 222 00:11:29,125 --> 00:11:30,976 - [MOANING] 223 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:34,833 - SORRY ABOUT THAT, KID. MY BAD. 224 00:11:34,917 --> 00:11:36,144 ANYTHING BROKEN? 225 00:11:36,168 --> 00:11:39,125 - THE ONLY THING BROKEN IS MY HEART, YO. 226 00:11:39,208 --> 00:11:45,000 BROKEN BY A TINY XXX WHO WON'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE MY PRESENCE. 227 00:11:45,083 --> 00:11:45,917 [GASPING] 228 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,042 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 229 00:11:47,125 --> 00:11:48,583 JUST YOUR RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS 230 00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:51,083 HAS RESTORED MY HOPE FOR TRUE LOVE! 231 00:11:51,167 --> 00:11:53,125 THANKS FOR LISTENING. 232 00:11:53,208 --> 00:11:55,875 - [SNORING] 233 00:11:57,583 --> 00:11:58,375 [FART] 234 00:11:58,458 --> 00:12:00,000 [GRUNTING] 235 00:12:00,083 --> 00:12:03,917 SAY, YOU DIDN'T HAPPEN TO SEE A BIG, GREEN, SLIMY 236 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:07,208 GASPUNKTENOID COME THROUGH HERE, DID YOU? 237 00:12:07,833 --> 00:12:10,042 THANKS! 238 00:12:12,917 --> 00:12:14,750 TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY, KID. 239 00:12:14,833 --> 00:12:15,917 - HOW'S THAT? 240 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,792 - I'M LOOKING FOR A SIDEKICK. 241 00:12:17,875 --> 00:12:22,125 YOU REMIND ME OF MYSELF WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE. 242 00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:26,375 - HOW DO I REMIND YOU OF YOU? 243 00:12:26,458 --> 00:12:32,667 - WELL... UH... LET'S SEE... 244 00:12:33,250 --> 00:12:37,417 WE BOTH HAVE HUMAN PARENTS... I THINK. 245 00:12:37,500 --> 00:12:39,042 COME ON, KID. WHAT DO YOU SAY? 246 00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:40,958 - GEE, I DON'T KNOW. 247 00:12:41,042 --> 00:12:44,208 - CHICKS DIG THE SIDEKICK. 248 00:12:44,458 --> 00:12:47,125 - SO, WHAT DOES A SIDEKICK DO, ANYWAY? 249 00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:49,167 - WELL, YOU PRETTY MUCH STICK CLOSE TO MY SIDE 250 00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:52,292 AND TELL ME HOW STRONG I AM, HOW GREAT I AM. 251 00:12:52,375 --> 00:12:54,917 MOST IMPORTANT, HOW COOL I AM. 252 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,000 - I'M BASICALLY AN ADORING MOLE? 253 00:12:57,083 --> 00:12:58,958 - WELL... YEAH. 254 00:12:59,042 --> 00:13:00,292 GREAT SULLIVAN'S TOE! 255 00:13:00,375 --> 00:13:02,083 LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT THING! 256 00:13:02,167 --> 00:13:05,500 - NEXT TIME YOU USE GRIM'S SCYTHE TO CONJURE UP A PLAYMATE, 257 00:13:05,583 --> 00:13:07,708 I'M GONNA USE YOUR HEAD AS A PINATA. 258 00:13:07,792 --> 00:13:09,167 - I'M SORRY, MANDY. 259 00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:11,833 OH, PLEASE SAVE US! 260 00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:14,583 - LOOKS LIKE IT'S TIME TO GO TO DEFCON 3. 261 00:13:14,667 --> 00:13:16,458 YOU STAY HERE. WATCH THE TRUCK. 262 00:13:16,542 --> 00:13:21,375 AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T TOUCH MY BREATH MINTS. 263 00:13:22,458 --> 00:13:25,708 - LOOK, GRIM, IT'S HOSS DELGATO! 264 00:13:33,792 --> 00:13:36,083 - AAH! 265 00:13:40,083 --> 00:13:44,042 OH, MR. DELGATO, DO YOU REMEMBER ME? 266 00:13:44,125 --> 00:13:47,042 DO YOU? DO YOU? DO YOU? DO YOU? 267 00:13:47,125 --> 00:13:49,042 - YEAH. YEAH, I DO. 268 00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:52,083 - BECAUSE I'M ONE OF YOUR BIGGEST FANS? 269 00:13:52,167 --> 00:13:56,625 - NO. BECAUSE I HAD A CHIP IMPLANTED IN MY BRAIN 270 00:13:56,708 --> 00:13:59,125 THAT HEATS UP WHENEVER I TALK TO AN IDIOT. 271 00:13:59,208 --> 00:14:03,083 AND RIGHT NOW MY BRAIN FEELS LIKE THE SUN IN A PIZZA OVEN. 272 00:14:03,167 --> 00:14:05,083 - NOT BAD, MR. D. 273 00:14:05,167 --> 00:14:07,542 - NOT BAD YOURSELF. 274 00:14:07,625 --> 00:14:10,083 - [SIGHS] 275 00:14:10,167 --> 00:14:13,208 HOW CAN I IMPRESS MANDY IF I'M ALWAYS ON THE SIDELINES, 276 00:14:13,292 --> 00:14:15,042 NEVER PART OF THE ACTION? 277 00:14:15,125 --> 00:14:17,000 - IT'S TIME FOR THE HOSS-MAN TO LET YOU IN 278 00:14:17,083 --> 00:14:20,125 ON A LITTLE SECRET ABOUT YOURS TRULY. 279 00:14:20,208 --> 00:14:24,083 I WAS ALWAYS PICKED LAST FOR SPORTS GAMES. 280 00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:27,018 - UM, I'll TAKE MRS. WONG. 281 00:14:27,042 --> 00:14:28,250 - OK. LET'S PLAY. 282 00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:29,833 - WAIT. THERE'S ONE MORE. 283 00:14:29,917 --> 00:14:34,208 - OH, YEAH. OK. UH... I'll TAKE KYLE. 284 00:14:34,292 --> 00:14:35,958 - I COULD NEVER GET A DATE. 285 00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:38,792 - SAY, HANDSOME, YOU BUSY TONIGHT? 286 00:14:38,875 --> 00:14:40,250 - WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT, I... 287 00:14:40,333 --> 00:14:45,583 - OH, GOODY. I JUST LOVE THE BRIGHT, REFLECTIVE TYPE. 288 00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,083 - GRR! 289 00:14:47,167 --> 00:14:49,000 THE FINAL STRAW WAS WHEN I WAS 290 00:14:49,083 --> 00:14:51,750 A DOOR-TO-DOOR VEGETABLE PEELER SALESMAN. 291 00:14:51,833 --> 00:14:53,208 - [BUZZER] 292 00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:54,667 - YEAH, CAN I HELP YOU? 293 00:14:54,750 --> 00:14:58,125 - YES, GOOD SIR. HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE VEGGIE PEELER 2000? 294 00:14:58,208 --> 00:14:59,250 - AH, SAY NO MORE. 295 00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:03,208 I JUST ORDERED 10,000 FROM THAT GUY. 296 00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:04,792 - IT WAS RIGHT THEN 297 00:15:04,875 --> 00:15:08,208 THAT I DECIDED TO END MY BORING EXISTENCE. 298 00:15:22,125 --> 00:15:24,208 - SO, WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO KYLE? 299 00:15:24,292 --> 00:15:28,958 - LET'S JUST SAY THAT KYLE IS NO LONGER A PROBLEM. 300 00:15:30,833 --> 00:15:32,542 LOOK, THE POINT I'M TRYING TO MAKE 301 00:15:32,625 --> 00:15:37,184 IS NOBODY IS BORN COOL EXCEPT, OF COURSE... 302 00:15:37,208 --> 00:15:39,917 SPUDLY, YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO BE COOL, 303 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,750 SO STICK WITH ME, AND I'll TEACH YOU EVERYTHING I KNOW. 304 00:15:42,833 --> 00:15:45,750 - I'M NOT SURE. I DON'T THINK I HAVE WHAT IT TAKES 305 00:15:45,833 --> 00:15:48,125 TO BE A COOL SPECTRAL EXTERMINATOR. 306 00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:49,667 - IT'S CALLED CONFIDENCE, KID. 307 00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:51,667 THERE WAS A TIME I DIDN'T HAVE IT, EITHER. 308 00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:53,542 WHY, I WAS SO AFRAID OF THE DARK, 309 00:15:53,625 --> 00:15:55,000 I NEVER CLOSED MY EYES. 310 00:15:55,083 --> 00:15:58,125 ON MY NINTH BIRTHDAY, MY MOM ANNOUNCED TO MY FRIENDS 311 00:15:58,208 --> 00:15:59,500 THAT I WASN'T REALLY A BOY, 312 00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:02,250 AND FROM THAT DAY ON, I WAS TO BE REFERRED TO 313 00:16:02,333 --> 00:16:04,042 AS HER "LITTLE ROSIE." 314 00:16:04,125 --> 00:16:07,750 I WET THE BED SO MUCH MY FATHER CALLED ME "THE MIDNIGHT SAILOR" 315 00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:10,042 UNTIL I WAS 32 YEARS OLD. 316 00:16:10,125 --> 00:16:13,018 I'M 33. 317 00:16:13,042 --> 00:16:16,792 ALL RIGHT, SPUD, BOY. GET READY. YOUR LIFE'S ABOUT TO CHANGE. 318 00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:20,750 - UH, DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU WERE GONNA TEACH ME HOW TO BE COOL? 319 00:16:20,833 --> 00:16:24,042 - YEAH, I WAS. BUT THIS WAY IS A LOT NEATER. 320 00:16:24,125 --> 00:16:25,125 - NEATER? 321 00:16:25,208 --> 00:16:28,167 [SCREAMING] 322 00:16:37,833 --> 00:16:40,185 - AND NOW TO COMPLETE THE TRANSFORMATION. 323 00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:43,125 HOLD STILL WHILE I CHAINSAW YOUR HAND OFF. 324 00:16:43,208 --> 00:16:44,417 - WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS? 325 00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:46,792 I WANT TO BE COOL, BUT NOT CAPTAIN HOOK! 326 00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:51,125 DON'T YOU GOT ANYTHING ELSE A LITTLE LESS DRASTIC, YO? 327 00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,667 YEAH. NOW WE'RE TALKING. 328 00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:00,458 THIS IS MORE LIKE IT. 329 00:17:00,542 --> 00:17:03,667 - LET'S GO GET SOME BAD GUYS. 330 00:17:04,042 --> 00:17:05,167 LOOKS LIKE WE GOT COMPANY. 331 00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:08,792 ANOTHER NASTY GASPUNKTENOID READY TO MAKE TROUBLE 332 00:17:08,875 --> 00:17:09,958 DOWN AT THE PIE WAGON. 333 00:17:10,042 --> 00:17:12,542 - WOW. HOW DO YOU CATCH SOMETHING LIKE THAT? 334 00:17:12,625 --> 00:17:17,018 - IT ALL DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU USE AS BAIT. 335 00:17:17,042 --> 00:17:21,083 - UH, MR. DELGATO, ARE YOU SURE THIS IS GONNA WORK? 336 00:17:21,167 --> 00:17:22,708 - SURE, KID. NO WORRIES. 337 00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:25,042 - DOES THIS SUIT HAVE A DRAIN IN IT? 338 00:17:25,125 --> 00:17:27,583 - [ROARING] 339 00:17:30,167 --> 00:17:33,417 - [SCREAMING] 340 00:17:42,125 --> 00:17:45,000 - [LAUGHING] 341 00:17:45,792 --> 00:17:47,958 A LITTLE TO THE RIGHT NOW. 342 00:17:48,042 --> 00:17:51,750 GOSH, THANKS, MANDY. MY BRAIN IS SO ITCHY TODAY. 343 00:17:51,833 --> 00:17:54,000 - MY PLEASURE, BILLY. 344 00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:55,417 - [LAUGHING] 345 00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:56,083 OH, YEAH. 346 00:17:56,167 --> 00:17:57,500 - IT'S GO TIME, JUNIOR. 347 00:17:57,583 --> 00:18:01,708 YOU'RE READY TO PROVE YOUR COOLNESS AND WIN MANDY'S LOVE? 348 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:07,417 EVEN IF IT MEANS HAVING EVERY LIMB TORN FROM YOUR BODY. 349 00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:09,083 - AH! 350 00:18:09,167 --> 00:18:12,958 - THAT'S WHAT I LIKE. CONFIDENCE. 351 00:18:15,667 --> 00:18:16,458 - [ROARING] 352 00:18:16,542 --> 00:18:20,375 - ALMOST. JUST A FEW MORE... AAH! 353 00:18:20,458 --> 00:18:22,792 WHAT IS THAT? 354 00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:27,625 - FEAR NOT, MORTALS... AND BONY DEAD GUY. 355 00:18:28,083 --> 00:18:30,000 IT IS I, IRWIN THE MANLY, 356 00:18:30,083 --> 00:18:32,125 WHO CONTROLS THIS FEROCIOUS BEAST 357 00:18:32,208 --> 00:18:34,417 WITH MY HUNK-LIKE MANLY COOLNESS. 358 00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:38,375 AND NOW, I HAVE COME TO MAKE YOU MINE. 359 00:18:38,458 --> 00:18:39,708 - WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HEAD 360 00:18:39,792 --> 00:18:42,144 AND WHY DO YOU HAVE A BEATER ON YOUR WRIST? 361 00:18:42,168 --> 00:18:46,625 - AH, YOU ARE WOOED BY MY STUDLY TRANSFORMATION. 362 00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:48,458 - NO, I'M NOT. 363 00:18:48,542 --> 00:18:50,083 - A LITTLE WOOED? 364 00:18:50,167 --> 00:18:50,917 - NEGATIVE. 365 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,958 - A TINY BIT WOOED? 366 00:18:53,042 --> 00:18:55,333 HOW 'BOUT SOMEWHAT... 367 00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,958 - OH, NO! IRWIN! 368 00:18:58,042 --> 00:18:59,625 - [BURPS] 369 00:18:59,708 --> 00:19:01,958 - IRWIN, CAN YOU HEAR ME? 370 00:19:02,042 --> 00:19:04,250 - YES! GET ME OUT OF HERE! 371 00:19:04,333 --> 00:19:07,542 AAH! GET ME OUT OF HERE! 372 00:19:07,625 --> 00:19:09,833 - [LAUGHING] 373 00:19:09,917 --> 00:19:11,125 - HOSS, IS THAT YOU? 374 00:19:11,208 --> 00:19:13,083 - YEAH, IT'S ME, YOU LITTLE HUNKSTER. 375 00:19:13,167 --> 00:19:15,102 IT'S TIME TO FLEX YOUR MANLY GUNS 376 00:19:15,126 --> 00:19:17,042 AND FIGHT YOUR WAY OUT OF THERE. 377 00:19:17,125 --> 00:19:21,292 USE YOUR BLENDER... ARM... THING. 378 00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:25,583 MMM. ANYBODY? 379 00:19:32,750 --> 00:19:34,333 BOY, THIS REMINDS ME OF THE TIMES 380 00:19:34,417 --> 00:19:36,102 I'VE HAD TO BUST OUT OF STOMACHS. 381 00:19:36,126 --> 00:19:38,750 AND IF I HADN'T BRAVELY FOUGHT THROUGH IT, 382 00:19:38,833 --> 00:19:40,033 THEN I WOULD NEVER HAVE BECOME 383 00:19:40,083 --> 00:19:43,542 THE COOL, HUNKY MAN STUD THAT I AM TODAY. 384 00:19:43,625 --> 00:19:46,375 OOH. SORRY ABOUT THAT. 385 00:19:47,375 --> 00:19:48,976 - OW. 386 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,708 [SLURPING] 387 00:19:50,792 --> 00:19:52,083 - SO, COME ON, IRWIN. 388 00:19:52,167 --> 00:19:53,833 FIGHT YOUR WAY OUT AND PROVE TO MANDY 389 00:19:53,917 --> 00:19:57,708 YOU'RE A COOL, STUDLY MAN, AND WIN HER HEART FOREVER! 390 00:19:57,792 --> 00:19:58,792 - YOU'RE KIDDING ME. 391 00:19:58,875 --> 00:20:03,125 I CANNOT BELIEVE... MOVE YOUR ABS, FABIO. 392 00:20:03,708 --> 00:20:05,458 - URGH! 393 00:20:06,875 --> 00:20:08,542 - MANDY, IS THAT YOU? 394 00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:10,125 DO YOU THINK I'M COOL YET? 395 00:20:10,208 --> 00:20:11,875 - I SURE THINK YOU'RE COOL, IRWIN, 396 00:20:11,958 --> 00:20:15,500 ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU GET PUKED OUT OF A GIANT MONSTER. 397 00:20:15,583 --> 00:20:18,125 - OH, BROTHER. 398 00:20:18,208 --> 00:20:19,458 - [ROARING] 399 00:20:19,542 --> 00:20:21,375 - AW, SHUT UP. 400 00:20:22,417 --> 00:20:25,125 UNREAL. 401 00:20:25,208 --> 00:20:26,667 WAY TO GO, HERO. 402 00:20:26,750 --> 00:20:28,333 COME ON, GRIM. 403 00:20:28,417 --> 00:20:31,125 - WELL, SPUDLY, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN NOW. 404 00:20:31,208 --> 00:20:33,375 MY WORK HERE IS DONE. I HAVE TO LEAVE. 405 00:20:33,458 --> 00:20:37,042 - WHERE ARE YOU GOING, HOSS? OFF TO CATCH SOME MORE MONSTERS? 406 00:20:37,125 --> 00:20:38,542 HUH? ARE YOU? ARE YOU? ARE YOU? 407 00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:40,250 - ACTUALLY, THE IDIOT CHIP IN MY BRAIN 408 00:20:40,333 --> 00:20:43,167 IS STARTING TO BURN A HOLE THROUGH MY FOREHEAD. 409 00:20:43,250 --> 00:20:44,583 - BUT YOU CAN'T LEAVE! 410 00:20:44,667 --> 00:20:46,292 WHAT ABOUT MY TRANSFORMED HEAD? 411 00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:50,208 - DON'T WORRY. THAT'LL WEAR OFF IN A COUPLE OF DAYS. 412 00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:53,667 TAKE IT EASY. 413 00:20:54,167 --> 00:20:57,458 - THAT HOSS IS COOLER THAN THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PILLOW. 414 00:20:57,542 --> 00:20:58,958 I LOVE HIM! 415 00:20:59,042 --> 00:21:02,958 - COOL. LOVE. MANDY! 416 00:21:03,042 --> 00:21:07,333 WHAT DO I NEED TO DO TO MAKE YOU THINK I'M COOL 417 00:21:07,417 --> 00:21:09,625 AND WIN YOUR LOVE?! 418 00:21:09,708 --> 00:21:12,417 [CRYING] 419 00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:13,250 - IRWIN? 420 00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:14,542 - YES, MANDY? 421 00:21:14,625 --> 00:21:17,083 - THERE'S SOMETHING I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU. 422 00:21:17,167 --> 00:21:18,500 - YES? 423 00:21:18,583 --> 00:21:20,583 - YOU'RE A NERD. 424 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,958 AND NO SHAGGY HEAD OR UTENSIL ON YOUR HAND 425 00:21:24,042 --> 00:21:26,000 IS EVER GOING TO CHANGE THAT. 426 00:21:26,083 --> 00:21:27,208 IT'S JUST A FACT OF LIFE. 427 00:21:27,292 --> 00:21:30,083 GET USED TO IT. EMBRACE IT. MAKE IT YOUR OWN. 428 00:21:30,167 --> 00:21:34,958 NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M DUE BACK ON PLANET MANDY. 429 00:21:36,250 --> 00:21:39,458 - HEY, COME ON, PAL. DON'T BE SO SAD. 430 00:21:39,542 --> 00:21:41,958 SO YOU'RE A NERD! SO WHAT? 431 00:21:42,042 --> 00:21:44,917 NERDS PLAY AN IMPORTANT ROLE IN THE WORLD. 432 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,167 - OH, YEAH? WHAT? 433 00:21:46,250 --> 00:21:49,583 - WHY, NERDS ARE LIKE THE MOIST TOWELETTES OF THE UNIVERSE. 434 00:21:49,667 --> 00:21:53,542 THEY MAKE EVERYONE ELSE FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES. 435 00:21:53,625 --> 00:21:58,667 - GEE, BILLY, THANKS... I THINK. 436 00:21:59,042 --> 00:22:01,000 - GLAD I COULD HELP. 437 00:22:04,167 --> 00:22:06,375 - UGH. 438 00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:19,333 CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE. www.ncicap.org... 439 00:22:32,083 --> 00:22:35,333 [RIPPING]