1 00:00:29,990 --> 00:00:32,993 I love you. 2 00:00:32,993 --> 00:00:36,997 I want to spend the restof my life with you. 3 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,120 Will you marry me? 4 00:00:42,002 --> 00:00:44,004 Baby, 5 00:00:45,005 --> 00:00:47,007 baby-- 6 00:00:47,007 --> 00:00:49,009 Baby, your breathsmells like dog food. 7 00:00:49,009 --> 00:00:53,013 [ Panting ]With just a hintof rottweiler butt. 8 00:00:53,694 --> 00:00:56,016 You're on notice, Rocco. 9 00:00:56,016 --> 00:00:59,019 When Felicia moves in,you have to clean up your act. 10 00:00:59,019 --> 00:01:01,021 Bon appétit. * Whoa * 11 00:01:01,021 --> 00:01:04,024 * I feel good * 12 00:01:04,024 --> 00:01:08,028 * I knew that I would, now * 13 00:01:08,028 --> 00:01:11,031 * I feel good * 14 00:01:11,031 --> 00:01:14,034 * I knew that I would, now * 15 00:01:14,034 --> 00:01:18,038 * So good, so good * 16 00:01:18,038 --> 00:01:20,040 * I got you * 17 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:24,044 * Whoa, I feel nice * 18 00:01:24,044 --> 00:01:27,047 * Like sugar and spice * 19 00:01:27,047 --> 00:01:31,051 * I feel nice * 20 00:01:31,051 --> 00:01:35,055 * Like sugar and spice * 21 00:01:35,055 --> 00:01:38,058 * So nice, so nice * 22 00:01:38,058 --> 00:01:40,060 * I got you * 23 00:01:48,068 --> 00:01:51,071 * When I hold you in my arms ** 24 00:01:51,071 --> 00:01:54,074 I have a very big surprisefor you. 25 00:01:54,074 --> 00:01:56,597 A very big surprise. 26 00:01:57,077 --> 00:02:02,082 I know you're dying to know,but I'm not gonna tell you,no matter how much you beg. 27 00:02:02,082 --> 00:02:04,084 Nope.Not even a hint. 28 00:02:15,095 --> 00:02:18,098 Wow! This isincredible, Jerry! 29 00:02:18,098 --> 00:02:20,100 What's this all about? 30 00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:25,105 Felicia, from the firstmoment I met you, I-- 31 00:02:25,105 --> 00:02:28,108 [ Groans ]I mean, uh-- 32 00:02:28,108 --> 00:02:31,111 From the first momentI saw you, I, uh-- 33 00:02:32,112 --> 00:02:34,114 Uh, wh-what I'm tryingto say, Felicia, is-- 34 00:02:34,114 --> 00:02:37,117 You're lookin' sickall of a sudden.Are you all right? 35 00:02:37,117 --> 00:02:40,120 Motion sickness.Oh. 36 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:43,123 The reason whyI brought you out here is... 37 00:02:43,123 --> 00:02:45,125 to tell you, to say-- 38 00:02:45,125 --> 00:02:47,127 Yeah? 39 00:02:47,127 --> 00:02:50,130 To ask, communicate-- 40 00:02:50,130 --> 00:02:53,133 Would you justspit it out? 41 00:02:53,133 --> 00:02:57,137 [ Gasping ]Oh, I'm sorry, baby!I didn't mean it! 42 00:02:57,418 --> 00:03:00,140 Don't cover me in pukeand try and call me "baby." 43 00:03:00,140 --> 00:03:03,143 I'll make it upto you, Felicia! 44 00:03:03,143 --> 00:03:06,146 Will you marry me?No! 45 00:03:06,146 --> 00:03:09,149 Oh, thank you!You've made methe happiest-- What? 46 00:03:09,149 --> 00:03:12,152 I met someone.Met someone? 47 00:03:12,152 --> 00:03:15,155 Andre and Ihave all the thingsthat we don't, Jerry. 48 00:03:15,155 --> 00:03:17,157 Andre?I introduced you once. 49 00:03:17,157 --> 00:03:19,159 He details my BMW. 50 00:03:19,159 --> 00:03:24,164 You dump me for a guywho goes to work in a jumpsuitand rubber boots? 51 00:03:24,164 --> 00:03:29,169 Andre and I connecton a level that you and Ijust never could. 52 00:03:29,169 --> 00:03:32,172 Jerry, I'm so sorry. 53 00:03:43,183 --> 00:03:47,187 [ Sighs ]She dumped us, Rocco. 54 00:03:47,187 --> 00:03:51,191 I know you don't care.You can lick your own balls.[ Chuckles ] 55 00:03:53,193 --> 00:03:55,195 [ Sighs ] 56 00:04:07,207 --> 00:04:09,209 [ Beeping ] 57 00:04:26,226 --> 00:04:27,227 [ Ringing ] 58 00:04:27,227 --> 00:04:30,230 [ Answering Machine Clicking ] [ Jerry On Tape ] I'm not in. 59 00:04:30,230 --> 00:04:33,233 Leave a message or don't leave a message. Whatever. 60 00:04:33,354 --> 00:04:36,236 [ Man ] Hello, Jerry. It's me. Pick up. 61 00:04:36,236 --> 00:04:38,238 Dude, I know you're there. 62 00:04:38,238 --> 00:04:41,241 Quit acting like a little kid. You're so immature! 63 00:04:41,241 --> 00:04:43,243 Pick up now,or I'm gonna fartinto the phone. 64 00:04:46,246 --> 00:04:48,248 Leave me alone.I'm wallowingin self-pity. 65 00:04:48,248 --> 00:04:51,251 It's time to rejointhe living, Jerry.We're going out tonight. 66 00:04:51,251 --> 00:04:54,254 - Not interested.- Saddle up the old baloney pony. 67 00:04:54,254 --> 00:04:58,258 It's OperationStorm the Foxholes.China Club, 2100 hours. 68 00:04:58,258 --> 00:05:01,261 Our objective?Penetrate the enemy. 69 00:05:01,261 --> 00:05:04,264 Stop calling me.I'm not going.This is nonnegotiable. 70 00:05:04,264 --> 00:05:07,267 Either meet me tonight,or I'm gonna ask outyour sister. 71 00:05:07,267 --> 00:05:10,270 She'll go out with me'cause she's freaky like that.We both know her. 72 00:05:10,270 --> 00:05:13,273 Ragoni, hang up.The toilet's stuffed up.I got a code-three emergency. 73 00:05:13,273 --> 00:05:15,275 Buddy, I gotta go.See you. 74 00:05:24,284 --> 00:05:26,286 Thanks for fitting me intoday, Daniel. 75 00:05:27,247 --> 00:05:29,289 I'm so tight. 76 00:05:39,299 --> 00:05:42,302 Go really deep this time. 77 00:05:54,314 --> 00:05:56,316 Give it to me harder. 78 00:05:59,319 --> 00:06:01,321 Harder. 79 00:06:03,323 --> 00:06:06,326 Harder. 80 00:06:12,332 --> 00:06:14,334 Harder. 81 00:06:17,337 --> 00:06:20,340 - [ Muscles Cracking ] - Come on, Daniel. Is this the best you can do? 82 00:06:20,340 --> 00:06:23,343 [ Sighs, Panting ] 83 00:06:26,346 --> 00:06:29,349 Ragoni, what the hellare you doing?[ Screams ] 84 00:06:29,349 --> 00:06:32,352 I was justwarmin' her up for you! 85 00:06:33,353 --> 00:06:36,356 ** [ Dance ] 86 00:06:36,356 --> 00:06:38,358 ** [ Continues ] 87 00:06:38,358 --> 00:06:42,362 Marshall,is that you?Nick! Hey! 88 00:06:42,362 --> 00:06:45,365 Long time no see!How you doin'? 89 00:06:45,365 --> 00:06:48,368 You've got to give methe name of your newescort service. 90 00:06:48,368 --> 00:06:51,371 Oh, cut it out, Nick.This is my fiancée, Sheri. 91 00:06:51,692 --> 00:06:55,375 She ain't no escort skank. She and I are in love. 92 00:06:55,375 --> 00:06:57,377 That's right. 93 00:06:57,377 --> 00:07:00,380 Marshall here's the most interesting and exciting man I've ever met. 94 00:07:00,380 --> 00:07:05,225 - And he's a wonderful lover.- Oh, I get it. She's retarded. 95 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:09,389 She's one of the sharpestbartenders at Hooters.Oh, Marshy! 96 00:07:09,389 --> 00:07:13,393 Excuse me, fellas.I'm gonna go trimthe landing strip. 97 00:07:13,393 --> 00:07:16,396 Ooh! And classy too. 98 00:07:17,397 --> 00:07:21,401 We met on a cruise.There's just something aboutthe ocean air, the sun. 99 00:07:21,401 --> 00:07:25,405 It really makes it easyto meet people.We connected right away. 100 00:07:25,405 --> 00:07:28,408 Very first night.With her? 101 00:07:28,408 --> 00:07:30,410 Very first night?Yeah! 102 00:07:30,410 --> 00:07:34,414 And there are dozens of womenjust as friendly as heron board. 103 00:07:34,414 --> 00:07:37,417 Dude, I gotta tell you,whatever you're doing,take a week off... 104 00:07:37,417 --> 00:07:39,419 and get yourselfon one of those boats. 105 00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:44,424 There was a line at the can.Honey, can we skip dinner? 106 00:07:44,424 --> 00:07:48,428 You look so hot,you got me in the moodfor take-out in bed. 107 00:07:48,428 --> 00:07:51,431 [ Both Moaning ] 108 00:07:52,432 --> 00:07:54,434 Tongue. 109 00:07:58,438 --> 00:08:00,440 - Ooh!- Wow! 110 00:08:07,447 --> 00:08:09,449 Wasn't thatcrazy Marshall Geller, 111 00:08:09,449 --> 00:08:12,452 the guy whoused to work in ourhigh school cafeteria? 112 00:08:12,452 --> 00:08:15,455 Nope. That wascrazy Marshall Geller, 113 00:08:15,455 --> 00:08:17,457 my new personal hero. 114 00:08:17,457 --> 00:08:19,459 Dude, let's bolt. 115 00:08:19,459 --> 00:08:22,462 Hanging aroundsome stupid baris no place to meet women. 116 00:08:22,462 --> 00:08:26,466 What are you talkin' about?You've been begging meto come here for months. 117 00:08:26,466 --> 00:08:28,468 Jerry, buddy, 118 00:08:28,468 --> 00:08:30,470 trust me. 119 00:08:30,470 --> 00:08:34,474 I have seen the light. * Come on, gettin' on down * 120 00:08:34,474 --> 00:08:36,476 * Get on down * 121 00:08:36,476 --> 00:08:38,478 * Get on, get on down * 122 00:08:38,478 --> 00:08:42,482 * Get on down, come on Go, go down * 123 00:08:42,482 --> 00:08:44,484 * Get on down * 124 00:08:44,484 --> 00:08:48,488 * Go, go down Get on down, come on * 125 00:08:48,488 --> 00:08:51,491 * Go, go down ** 126 00:08:53,493 --> 00:08:55,495 [ Mutters ] 127 00:09:03,503 --> 00:09:05,505 Aw, son of a bitch! [ Horn Honks ] 128 00:09:05,505 --> 00:09:08,508 That was my space!Fuck you! 129 00:09:08,508 --> 00:09:10,510 Fuck you right back,buddy.Nick, back off. 130 00:09:10,510 --> 00:09:13,513 I don't want to seean out-of-shape slobget his butt kicked. 131 00:09:13,513 --> 00:09:15,515 He ain't thatout of shape.I'm talkin' about you! 132 00:09:15,515 --> 00:09:18,518 You break a sweatchanging your shoes.Oh, stop. Bite me! 133 00:09:18,518 --> 00:09:20,520 - Blow me!- Kiss my ass! 134 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:22,522 - Fuck your mother!- Oh, yeah? 135 00:09:22,522 --> 00:09:24,524 No one would wantto fuck my mother'cause she's too ugly! 136 00:09:25,525 --> 00:09:27,527 Think I lost that one.Oh, yeah. 137 00:09:29,529 --> 00:09:34,534 Okay, it's the seven-day,six-night fun in the sunsingles package... 138 00:09:34,534 --> 00:09:37,537 with the standard three-to-onefemale-to-male ratio. 139 00:09:37,537 --> 00:09:41,541 Whoo-hoo-hoo!Just as the doctor ordered,right, buddy? 140 00:09:41,541 --> 00:09:43,543 I don't know, Nick.I don't thinkI'm ready for this. 141 00:09:43,543 --> 00:09:46,546 Come on!It's been six months! 142 00:09:46,546 --> 00:09:50,550 I don't like the sun,and I get seasick. 143 00:09:50,550 --> 00:09:53,553 - Hmm.- I don't know what to say to strange women. 144 00:09:53,553 --> 00:09:56,556 We're not going forthe discourse. We're goingfor the intercourse! 145 00:09:56,556 --> 00:10:00,560 Sex! That's allyou ever think about!Sex, sex, sex, sex! 146 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:03,563 - We'll take it.- Ha-ha-ha! 147 00:10:03,563 --> 00:10:05,565 There you go.Excellent. 148 00:10:07,567 --> 00:10:09,569 Oh, Larry.You're still here. 149 00:10:09,569 --> 00:10:11,571 Mm-hmm.Your mother died. 150 00:10:11,571 --> 00:10:15,575 - What? When? - This morning. 151 00:10:15,575 --> 00:10:18,578 I'm sorry. I thoughtyou got my Post-it. 152 00:10:18,578 --> 00:10:20,580 [ Larry ] Okay, thanks, Michael. 153 00:10:20,580 --> 00:10:24,584 All right. Gentlemen,I might want you to considerthis stateroom right here. 154 00:10:24,584 --> 00:10:27,587 It's a little bit larger-- 155 00:10:31,591 --> 00:10:35,595 Um, would you excuse mefor just a moment? 156 00:10:35,595 --> 00:10:37,597 Brian, help![ Sobbing ] 157 00:10:37,597 --> 00:10:41,601 [ Bawling ] Mama! 158 00:10:41,601 --> 00:10:43,603 [ Crying Continues ] Oh, God! 159 00:10:43,603 --> 00:10:46,606 - You!- Fuck you, pal! 160 00:10:46,606 --> 00:10:49,609 - Fuck you back.- Fuck your mother!- Oh, yeah? 161 00:10:49,609 --> 00:10:52,612 - No one would fuck my mother 'cause she's too ugly!- We've been through this! 162 00:10:52,612 --> 00:10:57,617 - Excuse me. What seems to be the problem here?- This guy-- pecker face. 163 00:10:57,617 --> 00:11:00,620 This guy's a jerk.All right, Brian.You know what? Enough. 164 00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:03,623 Let me handle this.Check on the ski packages.Yeah. 165 00:11:03,623 --> 00:11:07,627 Over near the Mauigetaways. Remember?Since the changeover? 166 00:11:07,627 --> 00:11:10,630 Yeah, I got 'em.I am so sorry. 167 00:11:10,630 --> 00:11:13,633 Brian's had a little problemwith the-- and the-- 168 00:11:13,633 --> 00:11:15,635 and the-- and the-- 169 00:11:15,635 --> 00:11:18,638 Oh. Yeah, bad news. 170 00:11:18,638 --> 00:11:23,643 But now he's doing fine.He's doing a lot of great workwith unwed teenage mothers. 171 00:11:23,643 --> 00:11:26,646 [ Chuckles ] So-- All right. 172 00:11:26,646 --> 00:11:29,649 [ Clears Throat ]Let's see. 173 00:11:29,649 --> 00:11:32,652 Seven-day, six-nightvacation cruise.Is that correct? 174 00:11:32,652 --> 00:11:34,654 That's the one, yeah.Right. 175 00:11:34,654 --> 00:11:36,656 Yeah.Right. 176 00:11:36,656 --> 00:11:38,658 Okay. 177 00:11:42,662 --> 00:11:44,664 You guys are set,gentlemen. 178 00:11:44,664 --> 00:11:48,668 I think you'llhave a very good time. Please enjoy your vacation. 179 00:11:48,668 --> 00:11:51,671 Thank you very much.And you should probablydo something about that guy. 180 00:11:51,671 --> 00:11:55,675 Don't worry. I've alreadytaken care of it.Good. 181 00:11:55,675 --> 00:11:58,678 And hey,I'm a letter writer. 182 00:11:58,678 --> 00:12:01,681 Duly noted.All right. 183 00:12:05,685 --> 00:12:08,688 Bye-bye, now. 184 00:12:08,688 --> 00:12:10,690 I'm too upsetto work ski packages. 185 00:12:10,690 --> 00:12:12,692 I can't believeyou took care of them. 186 00:12:12,692 --> 00:12:15,695 I took care of them,all right. 187 00:12:15,695 --> 00:12:18,698 'Cause no one callsmy little peckera pecker. 188 00:12:19,699 --> 00:12:20,700 Huh?Yeah. 189 00:12:21,701 --> 00:12:22,943 Yeah.[ Giggling ] 190 00:12:30,710 --> 00:12:34,714 Wow! Look at the sizeof that thing! 191 00:12:34,714 --> 00:12:37,717 And just think--it's filled withavailable women. 192 00:12:37,717 --> 00:12:40,720 Yeah,and here's the beauty partof the whole thing. 193 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:42,722 They can't get away from us.We'll be in the middleof the ocean. 194 00:12:42,722 --> 00:12:45,725 They can try,but they'll drownor get eaten by sharks. 195 00:12:45,725 --> 00:12:48,728 It's perfect! 196 00:12:48,728 --> 00:12:52,732 You know, sometimesI think there's somethingseriously wrong with you. 197 00:12:52,732 --> 00:12:55,735 I can live with that.[ Guffawing ] 198 00:12:55,735 --> 00:12:58,738 Excuse me.Can I ask you something? Yes. 199 00:12:59,739 --> 00:13:02,742 You board everybodyon this ship, right?Yes, sir. 200 00:13:02,742 --> 00:13:04,744 Let me ask you a question,guy-to-guy. 201 00:13:04,744 --> 00:13:09,749 Is there a lot ofsweet ass on this ship?I'm sure you'll be very happy. 202 00:13:09,749 --> 00:13:11,751 Yes!Hear that, Jer?Hey, hey! 203 00:13:11,751 --> 00:13:14,754 All righty!Whoo! 204 00:13:14,754 --> 00:13:18,758 A boat filled withhot, beautiful women! 205 00:13:18,758 --> 00:13:21,761 Yes!Awesome, awesome awesome! 206 00:13:21,761 --> 00:13:24,764 Can't you just feelthe sexy, lovely creatures... 207 00:13:24,764 --> 00:13:26,766 boarding this love boatas we speak? 208 00:13:26,766 --> 00:13:28,768 Watch out!I'm comin'!* Ba-ba, ba-ba, ba-ba * 209 00:13:28,768 --> 00:13:30,770 * Bee-ba, ba-ba, bee-ba ** 210 00:13:30,770 --> 00:13:34,774 Yeah, yeah. Whoo!Nick, you're right!This is great! 211 00:13:34,774 --> 00:13:37,777 Yeah, you know! 212 00:13:37,777 --> 00:13:39,779 [ Nick Yells ] Hey, what's up? 213 00:13:39,779 --> 00:13:41,781 How you doin'? Ooh! 214 00:13:41,781 --> 00:13:44,784 Yeah! All right! 215 00:13:44,784 --> 00:13:46,786 Friendly crowd, huh?Oh, yeah. 216 00:13:46,786 --> 00:13:49,789 Don't you ever doubt me! 217 00:13:58,798 --> 00:14:00,800 What the hellwas that? 218 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:04,804 Well, uh--Onboard entertainment. 219 00:14:04,804 --> 00:14:07,807 You know?I bet Cirque du Soleil'shere, like Vegas! 220 00:14:07,807 --> 00:14:10,810 Oh, cool.Right? 221 00:14:10,810 --> 00:14:12,812 [ Sighs ] 222 00:14:12,812 --> 00:14:14,814 Hey! How are ya? 223 00:14:20,820 --> 00:14:24,824 There it is--stateroom 211. 224 00:14:24,824 --> 00:14:27,827 The number that will beon everyone's lipsby the end of the trip. 225 00:14:31,831 --> 00:14:33,833 Let's do it. 226 00:14:36,836 --> 00:14:38,838 That's weird. 227 00:14:38,838 --> 00:14:42,842 Only one bed.Oh, I know why. 228 00:14:42,842 --> 00:14:47,847 'Cause we're gonna be havingso much sex, one guy's alwaysgonna be sleeping out. 229 00:14:47,847 --> 00:14:51,851 Yeah, right. You better hopethat couch is more comfortablethan it looks. 230 00:14:53,853 --> 00:14:55,855 There's a mirroron the ceiling. 231 00:14:57,857 --> 00:15:00,860 Excelente. That way the babes can watch me... 232 00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:05,865 get my freak on!** [ Humming ] 233 00:15:05,865 --> 00:15:08,868 Check this out, Jer.Four racquetball courts.Hey! 234 00:15:08,868 --> 00:15:10,870 Nine cocktail lounges.Ooh. 235 00:15:10,870 --> 00:15:13,873 A casino.Six and eightsare running mates! 236 00:15:13,873 --> 00:15:18,878 A video arcade.Onboard chest-waxing salon. 237 00:15:18,878 --> 00:15:21,881 Chest waxing?Yeah, of course. 238 00:15:21,881 --> 00:15:23,883 For swimmin'.Let me see that. 239 00:15:26,886 --> 00:15:31,891 "Club Socrates wants you to know you'll be treated like a queen." 240 00:15:32,892 --> 00:15:35,895 You mean "king."Queen.Says so right there. 241 00:15:38,898 --> 00:15:41,901 That's weird.Hmm. 242 00:15:41,901 --> 00:15:43,903 [ Knocking ] 243 00:15:43,903 --> 00:15:45,905 Hello. 244 00:15:45,905 --> 00:15:49,909 Ring, ring, ring.Everybody conga! 245 00:15:49,909 --> 00:15:51,911 ** [ Boom box: Salsa ]* Conga, conga, conga * 246 00:15:51,911 --> 00:15:55,915 * Everybody party Party, party, party * 247 00:15:55,915 --> 00:15:59,919 * 5:00 today **Yeah, baby! 248 00:15:59,919 --> 00:16:02,922 I told you, Jer.This boat is wild! 249 00:16:02,922 --> 00:16:05,925 Where's the party,sweet thing?Stateroom 209. 250 00:16:05,925 --> 00:16:09,929 Ooh!Stateroom 209. Hey! 251 00:16:09,929 --> 00:16:13,933 [ Low Voice ]It's casual.[ Purring ] 252 00:16:15,935 --> 00:16:19,939 [ Horn Blowing ] 253 00:16:21,941 --> 00:16:24,944 To fresh scratcheson our backs. 254 00:16:25,465 --> 00:16:29,949 - Scotch and soda, please. - Coming right up, sir. 255 00:16:29,949 --> 00:16:31,951 ** [ Sound System: Liza Minnelli ] 256 00:16:31,951 --> 00:16:33,953 Oh, please! 257 00:16:33,953 --> 00:16:37,957 Why do they alwayshave to play Liza? 258 00:16:37,957 --> 00:16:40,960 I don't know.I kind of like Lizawith a "Z." 259 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,962 Yeah, she's kinda coolfor makin' out. 260 00:16:42,962 --> 00:16:46,966 I prefer Johnny Mathismyself. 261 00:16:46,966 --> 00:16:50,970 Yeah, if you're gonnamake out with a dude. 262 00:16:53,973 --> 00:16:56,976 That is very funny. 263 00:16:56,976 --> 00:17:00,980 [ Sighs ]My name is Faversham.Lloyd Faversham. 264 00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:02,982 Nick Ragoni.Nick. 265 00:17:02,982 --> 00:17:05,785 Jerry.It's your first cruise? 266 00:17:05,985 --> 00:17:07,987 No, my third.And you? 267 00:17:07,987 --> 00:17:09,989 - Número uno. - Oh. 268 00:17:09,989 --> 00:17:12,992 Then you are going topositively adore it. 269 00:17:12,992 --> 00:17:17,997 - It is one wild, decadent week.- That's why we're here, right? 270 00:17:17,997 --> 00:17:19,999 All-night parties. Excellent. 271 00:17:19,999 --> 00:17:23,002 - Midnight skinny-dipping.- Sign me up! 272 00:17:23,002 --> 00:17:26,005 And if you're into it,lots of sex, 273 00:17:26,005 --> 00:17:28,007 sex... sex. 274 00:17:28,007 --> 00:17:31,010 You hear that, Jer? All the sex a man could want. 275 00:17:31,010 --> 00:17:35,014 Well, then you must visitthe hole-in-one room. 276 00:17:35,014 --> 00:17:38,017 Oh, they have an onboard driving range. 277 00:17:38,017 --> 00:17:42,021 Some of the chaps down theredo swing some very large clubs. 278 00:17:42,021 --> 00:17:46,025 Hmm.You two havean open relationship? 279 00:17:46,025 --> 00:17:49,028 Open? What do you meanby "open relationship"? 280 00:17:49,028 --> 00:17:51,030 I mean, do you date? 281 00:17:51,030 --> 00:17:53,032 Of course we date.That's why we're here.Yeah! 282 00:17:53,032 --> 00:17:59,038 That's absolutely wonderful.We must get together sometime,go for a midnight swim. 283 00:17:59,038 --> 00:18:01,040 Do whatever feels right. 284 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:05,044 That is what a gay cruiseis all about. 285 00:18:05,044 --> 00:18:09,048 ** [ Liza Minnelli Continues ] 286 00:18:09,048 --> 00:18:11,050 I see. 287 00:18:11,050 --> 00:18:13,052 Hear that, Jerry? 288 00:18:13,052 --> 00:18:17,056 We can dowhatever we want,whatever feels right. 289 00:18:17,056 --> 00:18:21,060 That's whata gay cruiseis all about. 290 00:18:21,060 --> 00:18:24,063 Whatever we want to do,we can do it... 291 00:18:24,063 --> 00:18:26,065 becauseit's a gay cruise. 292 00:18:26,065 --> 00:18:31,070 It's a gay cruise, Jerry!Not a bi cruise!It's a gay cruise! 293 00:18:31,070 --> 00:18:34,073 Capital "G," capital "A," capital "Y-M-C-A"... 294 00:18:34,073 --> 00:18:36,075 gay cruise, Jerry! 295 00:18:36,075 --> 00:18:38,077 Damn, damn, damn! 296 00:18:39,078 --> 00:18:42,081 I wonder how many other peoplemade the same mistake I did. 297 00:18:44,083 --> 00:18:46,085 No one! Shit! 298 00:18:46,085 --> 00:18:49,088 Jerry!Don't worry, buddy! 299 00:18:49,088 --> 00:18:54,093 I'm bringing you back home.I'm gonna get you out of here.Let's go! 300 00:18:55,094 --> 00:18:58,097 Help! Help!Somebody help us! 301 00:18:58,097 --> 00:19:00,099 We're straight! 302 00:19:00,099 --> 00:19:04,103 We're straight! Hey! Nick! 303 00:19:04,103 --> 00:19:07,106 Stop acting like a jerk!We'll figure this out. 304 00:19:07,467 --> 00:19:11,110 - What are we gonna do? We gotta get off this boat. - Ooh! 305 00:19:11,110 --> 00:19:14,113 We gotta get off!Excuse me, sir. You know wherewe can get off real quick? 306 00:19:14,113 --> 00:19:18,117 Try the hole-in-one room.I'm starting to think that'snot a real driving range. 307 00:19:18,117 --> 00:19:20,119 In fact,I'm convinced of it. 308 00:19:20,119 --> 00:19:22,121 Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it! 309 00:19:22,121 --> 00:19:25,124 We're trapped like rats! 310 00:19:28,127 --> 00:19:30,129 What? 311 00:19:30,129 --> 00:19:33,132 I checked our itinerary. 312 00:19:33,132 --> 00:19:35,134 We don't dockfor four days. 313 00:19:35,134 --> 00:19:40,139 - Why do I ever listen to you?- Are you implying that this is somehow my fault? 314 00:19:40,139 --> 00:19:43,142 Oh, I'm not implying it.I'm saying it. 315 00:19:43,142 --> 00:19:46,145 If you hadn't insulted that travel agent, none of this would've happened! 316 00:19:46,145 --> 00:19:49,148 Maybe there'sanother explanation. 317 00:19:49,148 --> 00:19:51,150 Yeah? What? 318 00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:55,154 Maybe that travel agent thoughthe was doing you a favor... 319 00:19:55,154 --> 00:19:58,157 because, uh, you know-- 320 00:19:58,157 --> 00:20:01,160 - Because what?- Because you're a little femme, that's why! 321 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:04,163 You always dress real nice,you're in shape, you're neat! 322 00:20:04,163 --> 00:20:06,165 Oh, and you use thosepastel-colored ballsat the bowling alley. 323 00:20:06,165 --> 00:20:11,170 Don't think thatgot past me! 324 00:20:13,172 --> 00:20:17,176 You're an idiot,a thickheaded moron! 325 00:20:17,176 --> 00:20:20,179 Felicia was right.I should've dumpedyour ass years ago! 326 00:20:20,179 --> 00:20:22,181 If you wanted to dumpsomeone's ass years ago,it should've been Felicia's! 327 00:20:22,862 --> 00:20:25,184 Oh!That chickwas Satan's sister. 328 00:20:25,184 --> 00:20:27,186 Yeah, devil in a "D" cup! 329 00:20:27,186 --> 00:20:31,190 Felicia was as frosty a bitchas I've ever seen!I'm gonna kill ya! 330 00:20:31,190 --> 00:20:34,193 I'm gonna kill you![ Grunting ] 331 00:20:34,193 --> 00:20:38,197 I knew I heardchoo-chi, pom-pom time! 332 00:20:38,197 --> 00:20:41,200 - Choo-choo-choo-choo!- Don't get the wrong idea! 333 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:44,203 Oh, Hector alwaysget the wrong idea. 334 00:20:44,203 --> 00:20:47,206 That is why he'sno longer welcomein the state of Missouri. 335 00:20:47,206 --> 00:20:49,208 Buddy, you prancedinto the wrong cabin. 336 00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:53,212 My friend and I--We're not gay.Huh. 337 00:20:53,212 --> 00:20:56,215 [ Sputters, Laughs ]Ring-ring! Hold the phone. 338 00:20:56,215 --> 00:20:59,218 - You're telling me you two guys are not gay.- That's right. 339 00:21:00,219 --> 00:21:04,223 Oh, pull Hector's other leg.It's got bells on it. 340 00:21:04,223 --> 00:21:06,225 I'm getting out of here. 341 00:21:08,227 --> 00:21:11,230 Gee, what hasn'tgotten into him? 342 00:21:14,233 --> 00:21:16,235 Out! 343 00:21:16,235 --> 00:21:18,237 ** [ Piano ] [ Men ] * Whoa, here he comes * 344 00:21:18,237 --> 00:21:21,240 * Watch out, boy He'll chew you up * 345 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,243 * Whoa, here he comes He's a maneater * 346 00:21:24,243 --> 00:21:27,246 * Whoa, here he comes * 347 00:21:27,246 --> 00:21:29,248 * Watch out, boy He'll chew you up * 348 00:21:29,248 --> 00:21:33,252 * Whoa, here he comes He's a maneater * 349 00:21:33,252 --> 00:21:36,255 * I wouldn't if I were you ** 350 00:21:42,261 --> 00:21:44,263 [ Applause ] [ Man ] Okay. Bachelor Number Two, 351 00:21:44,263 --> 00:21:47,266 what's the most unusual place that you ever made love? 352 00:21:47,266 --> 00:21:52,271 Well, once I did itin a dressing roomat International Male. 353 00:21:52,271 --> 00:21:55,274 Right. And how 'bout you, Bachelor Number Three? 354 00:21:55,274 --> 00:21:58,277 What's the most unusual place that you ever made love? 355 00:21:58,277 --> 00:22:02,281 - Inside a woman.- [ Audience Laughing ] 356 00:22:02,281 --> 00:22:04,283 [ Groans ] 357 00:22:09,288 --> 00:22:12,291 Hey, who we gotta screwto get a drink around here? 358 00:22:12,291 --> 00:22:15,294 [ Snickering ]Whoop. 359 00:22:17,296 --> 00:22:19,298 Oop. 360 00:22:20,299 --> 00:22:23,302 Ooh. Ooh.Hey, buddy, you okay? 361 00:22:25,304 --> 00:22:27,306 Do I look gay? 362 00:22:28,307 --> 00:22:32,311 Never saw an old,gay grandpa before. 363 00:22:32,311 --> 00:22:35,314 Aah.Whoo-hoo. 364 00:22:40,319 --> 00:22:43,322 Where are allthe gay people at? 365 00:22:43,322 --> 00:22:45,324 Y'all always supposed towanna party. 366 00:22:45,324 --> 00:22:48,327 Oops. Oop. 367 00:22:49,328 --> 00:22:52,331 Ooh! 368 00:23:13,352 --> 00:23:15,354 [ Gasps ] 369 00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:23,362 - Are you okay?- I'm fine! 370 00:23:35,374 --> 00:23:39,378 [ Thinking ]Men on dates, holding hands,touching, kissing. 371 00:23:39,378 --> 00:23:41,380 I can't take it.Gotta think. 372 00:23:41,380 --> 00:23:45,384 Not good at it.Took too much Shopin high school. 373 00:23:46,385 --> 00:23:50,389 [ Helicopter Whirring ] 374 00:23:50,389 --> 00:23:54,393 Help! Pick me up! 375 00:23:54,393 --> 00:23:56,395 Get me out of here! 376 00:23:56,395 --> 00:23:59,398 Hey, drop down a ladder! 377 00:23:59,398 --> 00:24:01,400 I like girls! [ Passing Overhead ] 378 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:04,403 [ Wailing ] 379 00:24:11,410 --> 00:24:16,415 Please! Please come back! 380 00:24:22,421 --> 00:24:26,425 [ Metal Banging ] [ Helicopter Sputtering ] 381 00:24:26,425 --> 00:24:28,427 Ohh! 382 00:24:28,427 --> 00:24:31,430 Oh, my-- [ Crashes Into Water ] 383 00:24:32,431 --> 00:24:34,433 Jesus! 384 00:24:42,441 --> 00:24:44,443 Oop. 385 00:24:52,451 --> 00:24:56,455 Flare gun. I don't know anything about a flare gun. I swear I was here all night. 386 00:24:56,455 --> 00:24:59,458 A flare gun? I don't knowanything about a flare gun.I was here all night. 387 00:24:59,458 --> 00:25:02,461 Flare gun?I don't know nothing aboutno stinking flare gun! 388 00:25:02,461 --> 00:25:04,463 [ Door Opening ] Oh, shit. 389 00:25:04,463 --> 00:25:08,467 Okay, here we are. 390 00:25:08,467 --> 00:25:11,470 You should go change now.Where's your robe? 391 00:25:12,471 --> 00:25:14,473 Okay. 392 00:25:14,473 --> 00:25:18,477 Okay, I give up!I give up! I did it! 393 00:25:18,477 --> 00:25:22,481 Hey, Jer.How was your evening? 394 00:25:22,481 --> 00:25:26,485 Hi. Your friend hada little too muchto drink. 395 00:25:26,485 --> 00:25:28,487 She thinks I'm drunk. 396 00:25:28,487 --> 00:25:31,490 Ah, Nicky, Nicky!All right, all right. 397 00:25:31,490 --> 00:25:34,493 I fell in the pool!Oh! Ooh! Ooh! 398 00:25:34,493 --> 00:25:37,496 [ Nick ] Ah, you're sitting on my balls! 399 00:25:37,496 --> 00:25:39,498 Okay, um, I'm gonnaleave you two alone. 400 00:25:39,498 --> 00:25:42,501 Good night.Oh, you're gettin' meall wet. 401 00:25:42,501 --> 00:25:44,503 [ Nick Groans ] 402 00:25:49,508 --> 00:25:52,511 Jerry! Wake up!I'm starvin'. 403 00:25:53,032 --> 00:25:56,515 Come on, Jerry.[ Snoring ] 404 00:25:56,515 --> 00:26:00,519 Dude, don't make mego up there by myself.Get up. 405 00:26:00,519 --> 00:26:02,521 Jerry! 406 00:26:02,521 --> 00:26:05,524 Screw it.What am I afraid of?[ Snoring ] 407 00:26:05,524 --> 00:26:08,527 How gaycould a buffet be? 408 00:26:08,527 --> 00:26:11,530 ** [ Instrumental ] 409 00:26:38,557 --> 00:26:40,559 Is this seat taken?Actually-- 410 00:26:40,559 --> 00:26:44,563 I hate dining alone.Bet you feel the same way too.I'm okay with it. 411 00:26:44,563 --> 00:26:48,567 I see you tookthe omelette, the wafflesand the flapjacks. 412 00:26:48,567 --> 00:26:50,569 Hungry little man,aren't you? 413 00:26:50,569 --> 00:26:54,573 Would you care fora bite of my sausage? 414 00:26:54,573 --> 00:26:57,576 In England,we call them bangers.Eww! 415 00:26:58,577 --> 00:27:01,580 Captain,could you come over herea minute, please? 416 00:27:01,580 --> 00:27:03,582 Captain,there's a small craftoff the starboard bow... 417 00:27:04,263 --> 00:27:07,586 that's trying to getour attention.[ Grunts ] 418 00:27:07,586 --> 00:27:10,589 [ All Yelling ]Help! Help! 419 00:27:10,589 --> 00:27:14,593 Somebody save us! Somebody save us! Help! 420 00:27:15,594 --> 00:27:18,597 Jesus!Sound the alarm. 421 00:27:18,597 --> 00:27:21,600 All hands on dick.Deck. 422 00:27:21,681 --> 00:27:23,602 Deck! 423 00:27:31,610 --> 00:27:33,612 Hot tea? 424 00:27:35,614 --> 00:27:37,616 Why don't youhave a seat? 425 00:27:37,616 --> 00:27:39,618 For you. 426 00:27:47,626 --> 00:27:50,629 Oh, my God! 427 00:27:53,632 --> 00:27:56,635 - I must be dreaming. Somebody pinch me. - Sure. My pleasure. 428 00:27:56,635 --> 00:27:59,638 Ow! I didn't sayon my ass! 429 00:27:59,638 --> 00:28:02,641 You didn't not say it.I didn't think I had to specify. 430 00:28:02,641 --> 00:28:05,644 Jesus. 431 00:28:09,648 --> 00:28:12,651 Nick, Nick!You gotta help me out. 432 00:28:12,651 --> 00:28:14,653 Remember that woman thatdragged me to the roomlast night? 433 00:28:14,653 --> 00:28:18,657 I can't get her off my mind.She kissed me. Technically,it was mouth-to-mouth. 434 00:28:18,657 --> 00:28:23,662 But it was fabulous.I mean, I gotta find her.I was so wasted la-- 435 00:28:25,664 --> 00:28:28,667 Who are they?The answer to our prayers,Jerry. 436 00:28:28,667 --> 00:28:31,670 Twelve of the most gorgeouscreatures I've ever seen. 437 00:28:31,670 --> 00:28:33,672 Ooh.But I'm not greedy. 438 00:28:33,672 --> 00:28:36,675 I'll share.Go ahead. 439 00:28:36,675 --> 00:28:39,678 Pick two. 440 00:28:39,678 --> 00:28:42,681 No.This girl was fabulous. 441 00:28:42,681 --> 00:28:44,683 She's special.I gotta find her. 442 00:28:49,688 --> 00:28:52,691 Ooh!She's special, special. 443 00:29:00,699 --> 00:29:02,701 Hello. 444 00:29:02,701 --> 00:29:04,703 H-H-Hi. 445 00:29:04,703 --> 00:29:08,707 Who are you?I'm Nick Ragoni, the mostgrateful man on the planet. 446 00:29:08,707 --> 00:29:12,711 I'm Inga.Very pleasurableto meet you. 447 00:29:12,711 --> 00:29:16,715 How'd you all get here?We are the Swedishsuntanning team... 448 00:29:16,715 --> 00:29:19,718 on our way to the HawaiianTropics competitionin some bars. 449 00:29:19,718 --> 00:29:22,721 Some bonehead shot downour helicopter. 450 00:29:22,721 --> 00:29:24,723 Coach had to makewater landing. 451 00:29:24,723 --> 00:29:28,727 I didn't think this wasgonna happen until I diedand went to heaven. 452 00:29:28,727 --> 00:29:31,730 It's lucky thingwe were picked up by a boatfull of homo boys. 453 00:29:31,730 --> 00:29:35,734 It would be terribleto have straight menhassling and ogling us... 454 00:29:35,734 --> 00:29:38,737 while we're trying to workon our even tan lines. 455 00:29:39,738 --> 00:29:42,741 Oh, you're so right. 456 00:29:42,741 --> 00:29:45,744 Lucky I'm gay! 457 00:29:45,744 --> 00:29:49,748 I'm super gay. I'm mega-- I'm gay-normous! 458 00:29:49,748 --> 00:29:52,751 I'm so gay. 459 00:29:52,751 --> 00:29:57,756 But that's good,'cause now you guys canall feel comfortable... 460 00:29:57,756 --> 00:30:01,760 in front of me and take off your tops and stuff. 461 00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:04,763 And I can do this for you. 462 00:30:04,763 --> 00:30:07,766 I can put tanning oilsand creamy lotions... 463 00:30:07,766 --> 00:30:11,770 all overyour luscious bodies! 464 00:30:11,770 --> 00:30:14,773 And there won't beany worries from youbecause... 465 00:30:14,773 --> 00:30:18,777 I'm so gay![ Laughs ] 466 00:30:18,777 --> 00:30:21,780 * When you need something Don't stop, don't stop * [ Nick Moaning ] 467 00:30:21,780 --> 00:30:25,784 Oh, yeah. Yeah, baby! Yeah, baby! 468 00:30:25,784 --> 00:30:28,787 Almost finished! Yeah! 469 00:30:28,787 --> 00:30:31,790 [ Screaming ] 470 00:30:31,790 --> 00:30:33,792 Okay, let's do the back. 471 00:30:33,792 --> 00:30:38,797 The first time I thinkI realized I was gay... 472 00:30:38,797 --> 00:30:41,800 was when I was around 12,in Scouts. 473 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,803 I really liked putting onthat kerchief. 474 00:30:44,803 --> 00:30:46,805 In fact, it was the only partI liked about it. 475 00:30:47,806 --> 00:30:49,808 That and the nude swimming. 476 00:30:49,808 --> 00:30:53,812 Anyway, I hope you galsall feel comfortablearound me! 477 00:30:53,812 --> 00:30:58,817 - [ All ] Ja, Nick.- 'Cause I sure do feel comfortable around you. 478 00:31:00,819 --> 00:31:03,822 All done! Who's next?How 'bout you, Ursula? 479 00:31:03,822 --> 00:31:07,826 Ready for your second coat?Uh-oh, these thighs looka little dry. 480 00:31:07,826 --> 00:31:11,830 There we go.[ Laughing ] 481 00:31:12,831 --> 00:31:15,834 - What do you want? - [ Ferocious Growling ] 482 00:31:15,834 --> 00:31:17,836 What the hell is that? 483 00:31:17,836 --> 00:31:21,840 I got this fromthat dude over there.He's hot. 484 00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:24,843 You are no gay homo man. 485 00:31:24,843 --> 00:31:27,846 I am Sonya, coach of tanning team. 486 00:31:27,846 --> 00:31:30,849 - What? - Quiet! As long as these women are in training, 487 00:31:30,849 --> 00:31:34,853 there will be no trouser snakesnear their hot, luscious po-pos! 488 00:31:34,853 --> 00:31:37,856 Put me down!Coach of the tanning team.That's ridiculous! 489 00:31:38,857 --> 00:31:40,859 If I want to talkto any of these ladies,I will, 490 00:31:40,859 --> 00:31:43,862 and there's not a damn thingyou can do to stop me! 491 00:31:43,862 --> 00:31:47,866 - Oh, yeah?- [ Nick Screams, Groans ] 492 00:31:53,152 --> 00:31:57,876 [ Barks ]What the hellhappened to you? 493 00:31:57,876 --> 00:31:59,878 I diedand went to heaven, 494 00:31:59,878 --> 00:32:02,881 and then some muscle-boundblond dwarf knocked meback down to hell. 495 00:32:02,881 --> 00:32:05,884 - What?- You know those 12 gorgeous hotties? 496 00:32:05,884 --> 00:32:09,888 - They got a goddamn bodyguard.- Oh. 497 00:32:09,888 --> 00:32:14,893 I can take disappointments,Jer, but little Nicky, 498 00:32:14,893 --> 00:32:18,897 he's already known such heartache in his short life. 499 00:32:18,897 --> 00:32:21,900 Then I guess all three of usstruck out. 500 00:32:21,900 --> 00:32:24,903 I still can't find that girl.I've looked everywhere. 501 00:32:24,903 --> 00:32:27,906 You know, 502 00:32:27,906 --> 00:32:32,911 I've kissed Felicia for fouryears and never felt anythinglike I felt last night. 503 00:32:32,911 --> 00:32:35,914 That girl was special.I gotta find her. 504 00:32:35,914 --> 00:32:38,917 You're abandoning me?What am I supposed to do? 505 00:32:40,919 --> 00:32:44,923 It's a luxury cruise.Not everything'sgay-oriented. 506 00:32:44,923 --> 00:32:47,926 [ Man ] No more bets! 507 00:32:47,926 --> 00:32:49,928 Red three is the winner. 508 00:32:50,929 --> 00:32:53,932 [ Cackling ]Beautiful. 509 00:32:53,932 --> 00:32:57,936 Poker.This is gonna be sweet! 510 00:32:57,936 --> 00:33:00,939 These trouser pilotsare no match for a lustyhetero like myself. 511 00:33:00,939 --> 00:33:03,942 This will be liketaking candy from a baby. 512 00:33:03,942 --> 00:33:06,945 Why is that?Are gay men notoriouslybad gamblers? 513 00:33:06,945 --> 00:33:07,946 Awful! They can't bluff. 514 00:33:07,946 --> 00:33:11,950 They look at cards,they start giggling.It's terrible. 515 00:33:11,950 --> 00:33:15,954 Nick, promise me you won'tact like a gay-bashing,narrow-minded Neanderthal. 516 00:33:15,954 --> 00:33:17,956 Buddy,you're talking to me. 517 00:33:17,956 --> 00:33:20,959 The lady, couple of ducks--quack, quack-- possible flush. 518 00:33:20,959 --> 00:33:23,962 Hello, gays-- guys.Mind if I join you? 519 00:33:23,962 --> 00:33:26,965 Sure thing, gorgeous. 520 00:33:26,965 --> 00:33:29,968 I can't remember--does a straightbeat a flush? 521 00:33:29,968 --> 00:33:31,970 [ Cash Register Ringing ] [ Nick ] Damn! 522 00:33:31,970 --> 00:33:35,294 - I really thought I had that one. - Listen, Nick. 523 00:33:35,974 --> 00:33:37,976 I don't want youto take offense, but can Igive you a piece of advice? 524 00:33:37,976 --> 00:33:40,979 What?Don't clearyour throat. 525 00:33:40,979 --> 00:33:42,981 What? 526 00:33:42,981 --> 00:33:46,985 Every time you bluff,you clear your throat.I do? 527 00:33:46,985 --> 00:33:48,987 - Mm-hmm.- Don't play the cards. 528 00:33:49,868 --> 00:33:52,991 Play the players.[ Sighs ] 529 00:33:52,991 --> 00:33:56,995 All right, here we go.Ante up, five in the chute,three-card Monty. 530 00:33:56,995 --> 00:33:59,998 Kings to win. Here we go.Uh, and there's a winner. 531 00:33:59,998 --> 00:34:02,000 We got a winner. 532 00:34:14,012 --> 00:34:16,014 Hey, you. 533 00:34:16,014 --> 00:34:20,018 - [ Whimpers ]- Unbelievable. 534 00:34:22,020 --> 00:34:24,022 That was embarrassing! 535 00:34:24,022 --> 00:34:27,025 They offer a poolsafety class on board.You should check it out. 536 00:34:27,025 --> 00:34:29,027 Let megive you a hand. 537 00:34:29,027 --> 00:34:32,030 I'm Gabriella. 538 00:34:36,034 --> 00:34:38,036 I'm-- I'm Jerry. 539 00:34:38,036 --> 00:34:41,039 ** [ Humming ] 540 00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:44,042 Oh, boy! 541 00:34:49,047 --> 00:34:51,049 Hi.Hi! 542 00:34:51,049 --> 00:34:54,052 You like? 543 00:34:54,052 --> 00:34:56,054 Oh, yeah. 544 00:34:56,054 --> 00:34:58,056 Oh, the ice cream.Yeah, that's okay. 545 00:34:59,057 --> 00:35:01,059 Coach would kill meif she knew I broke training, 546 00:35:02,060 --> 00:35:03,061 but I no can help. 547 00:35:03,061 --> 00:35:06,064 I am--What is the word? 548 00:35:06,064 --> 00:35:08,066 Oral. 549 00:35:08,066 --> 00:35:10,068 That's the word, 550 00:35:10,068 --> 00:35:12,070 and what a wonderful wordit is. 551 00:35:12,070 --> 00:35:15,073 I'm so lonely. 552 00:35:15,073 --> 00:35:18,076 Coach is being very strictabout keeping usaway from men... 553 00:35:18,076 --> 00:35:21,079 during tanning season. 554 00:35:21,079 --> 00:35:23,081 It's too badyou're gay, Nick.Good night. 555 00:35:23,081 --> 00:35:26,084 Inga,wait, wait, wait. 556 00:35:26,084 --> 00:35:30,088 I've always been curiousabout your country. You mindif I ask you something? 557 00:35:30,088 --> 00:35:32,090 Yeah. What would you liketo know about, Nick? 558 00:35:32,090 --> 00:35:35,093 Our cities, our lakes and rivers, 559 00:35:35,093 --> 00:35:37,095 our safe and sturdyautomobiles? 560 00:35:37,095 --> 00:35:41,099 I'm a big fan of your cinema.I've rented quite a bit of it. 561 00:35:41,099 --> 00:35:45,103 I've noticed your people'sprogressive attitudestowards premarital sex. 562 00:35:46,104 --> 00:35:48,106 So what I waswondering is, 563 00:35:48,106 --> 00:35:52,110 theoretically,if my own sexual orientationwere to be-- 564 00:35:52,110 --> 00:35:55,113 If you're asking if I'd sleepwith you if you were straight,the answer is ja. 565 00:35:55,113 --> 00:35:57,115 Ja? Ja? Ja means yes, right? Ja. 566 00:35:57,115 --> 00:36:00,118 Inga, I have a surprisefor you. I'm straight. 567 00:36:00,118 --> 00:36:04,122 I'm as straightas a Volvo going downan Oslo toll road. 568 00:36:04,122 --> 00:36:06,124 Oslo is in Norway. 569 00:36:07,125 --> 00:36:08,126 The point is,we can make love. 570 00:36:08,126 --> 00:36:12,130 I know that's the best newsI've ever heard. 571 00:36:12,130 --> 00:36:15,133 I'm in cabin 4433.Meet me in five minuten. 572 00:36:15,133 --> 00:36:19,137 You got it.Five minuten. 573 00:36:19,137 --> 00:36:22,140 And not a minuten more. 574 00:36:22,140 --> 00:36:26,144 Hello. Are thereany condoms availableon the ship? 575 00:36:29,147 --> 00:36:30,829 [ Knocking ] 576 00:36:31,149 --> 00:36:33,151 Come in.Door is open. 577 00:36:34,152 --> 00:36:37,155 Mm-hmm. 578 00:36:37,155 --> 00:36:40,158 Coach! 579 00:36:40,158 --> 00:36:43,161 Change in room assignments.You bunk with Pia. 580 00:36:43,161 --> 00:36:46,164 - But why, Coach?- You cannot be trusted with mini bar. 581 00:36:46,164 --> 00:36:49,167 You are in training.But, Coach,I eat nothing all day. 582 00:36:49,167 --> 00:36:52,170 You ate yesterday, ja? [ Loud Slap ] 583 00:36:52,170 --> 00:36:55,173 Your butt is disgusting.Wait, I'd better double check. 584 00:36:55,173 --> 00:36:59,177 [ Gasping ] Ja. Disgusting. 585 00:36:59,177 --> 00:37:02,180 [ Gasping ]Both cheeks. 586 00:37:02,180 --> 00:37:06,184 Oh, ja, ja, ja. Move it, fatty! 587 00:37:06,184 --> 00:37:08,186 Knock it offand go to bed.All right, Coach. 588 00:37:10,188 --> 00:37:13,191 Thank you for lending me your jacket. 589 00:37:14,192 --> 00:37:17,195 - So what do you do on this ship?- I'm a dance teacher. 590 00:37:17,195 --> 00:37:20,198 Wow. Teaching dancemust be fun. It can be. 591 00:37:20,198 --> 00:37:22,200 You know, especiallyon the gay cruises. 592 00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:26,204 - They're much more fun than the straight ones.- Why is that? 593 00:37:26,204 --> 00:37:30,208 You go on the straight cruisesand all you meet are these...horny creeps. 594 00:37:30,208 --> 00:37:32,210 Oh.I got a friend like that. 595 00:37:32,731 --> 00:37:34,212 [ Sighs ] 596 00:37:34,212 --> 00:37:37,215 I bet men hit on you all the time. 597 00:37:37,215 --> 00:37:40,218 You've got a hot ass. 598 00:37:41,219 --> 00:37:45,223 - Excuse me?- Your ass-- it's hot. 599 00:37:47,225 --> 00:37:49,227 Thanks. 600 00:37:52,230 --> 00:37:56,234 - Your butt's nothin' to sneeze at either.- Ooh. 601 00:37:56,234 --> 00:37:59,237 So... you must havea boyfriend. 602 00:37:59,237 --> 00:38:02,240 No, no, no, no. No boyfriend. Really? 603 00:38:02,240 --> 00:38:05,243 - Why not?- Because every boyfriend I've ever had... 604 00:38:05,243 --> 00:38:08,246 has turned out to bea son of a bitch. 605 00:38:08,246 --> 00:38:12,250 Not every guy's a--I know what you're thinking. I haven't met the right guy. 606 00:38:13,251 --> 00:38:16,254 Trust me, honey,I've met every type out there,and it's pretty bad. 607 00:38:16,254 --> 00:38:19,257 Liars,guys with two wives, 608 00:38:19,257 --> 00:38:22,260 guys with commitment issues, guys with parole issues. 609 00:38:23,261 --> 00:38:25,263 You name it,I've dated them all, 610 00:38:25,263 --> 00:38:28,266 which is why I'm so relievedto be on this boat. 611 00:38:28,266 --> 00:38:30,268 There's not one straight manin sight. 612 00:38:30,268 --> 00:38:32,270 Excuse me?It's so great. 613 00:38:32,270 --> 00:38:37,275 I can really be myself.I don't care about makeup,about what I'm wearing, 614 00:38:37,275 --> 00:38:40,278 if a guy's talking to mebecause he wants toget into my pants. 615 00:38:40,278 --> 00:38:43,281 Gabriella, um--You know what else? 616 00:38:43,281 --> 00:38:45,283 Let's say I do get horny. 617 00:38:45,283 --> 00:38:49,287 Maybe I can even finda gay guy, and he cando me the favor. 618 00:38:49,287 --> 00:38:51,289 "The favor"? 619 00:38:51,289 --> 00:38:54,292 How do we say in English? 620 00:38:54,292 --> 00:38:57,295 Make me scream, make me moan, 621 00:38:57,295 --> 00:39:00,298 screw my brains out. 622 00:39:00,298 --> 00:39:02,300 Ooh. 623 00:39:04,302 --> 00:39:07,305 I don't meanto be a bitch, 624 00:39:08,306 --> 00:39:13,311 but these stateroomscould use a bit more color. 625 00:39:14,312 --> 00:39:16,314 Now we are laying downto sleep, 626 00:39:16,314 --> 00:39:20,318 our hot, tight bodiesthe Lord will keep. 627 00:39:26,324 --> 00:39:29,327 Inga, darling.It's me, Nicky. 628 00:39:29,327 --> 00:39:31,329 I'm here! 629 00:39:38,336 --> 00:39:43,341 Oh, Reverend Lindstrom, nej. 630 00:39:43,341 --> 00:39:47,345 This wouldn't do.What would the bishop say? 631 00:39:49,347 --> 00:39:53,351 Who's knockingat my drawers? 632 00:39:53,351 --> 00:39:55,353 - Oh, my-- - [ Muscles Cracking ] 633 00:39:55,353 --> 00:39:58,356 Take Mama downtown,baby! 634 00:40:01,359 --> 00:40:04,362 Oh, Mama! 635 00:40:04,362 --> 00:40:08,366 Help me, Jesus![ Babbling ] 636 00:40:08,406 --> 00:40:12,370 [ Nick Screaming ] 637 00:40:12,370 --> 00:40:15,373 Oh! 638 00:40:17,776 --> 00:40:22,380 [ Nick Screaming ] 639 00:40:22,380 --> 00:40:25,383 [ Gasping ] 640 00:40:26,384 --> 00:40:28,386 * She put the lime in the coconut and shake 'em all up * 641 00:40:29,387 --> 00:40:32,350 - Nej, nej, nej. Ja, ja, ja, ja. - Get off me! 642 00:40:32,390 --> 00:40:34,392 Oh, why? 643 00:40:34,392 --> 00:40:36,394 * Put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em all up * [ Coach Giggling ] 644 00:40:36,394 --> 00:40:38,396 * Put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em all up ** 645 00:40:38,396 --> 00:40:42,400 - [ Screams, Grunts ]- What's that? 646 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:45,403 It's coming fromthe coach's room. 647 00:40:45,403 --> 00:40:47,405 - [ All Gasp ]- [ Sighs ] 648 00:40:47,405 --> 00:40:50,408 Smokin' sturgeon!Coach's pussy just blew up! 649 00:40:50,408 --> 00:40:54,412 Was good for me. Ja. 650 00:40:54,412 --> 00:40:57,415 * Sometimes it's hard to be a woman * 651 00:40:58,416 --> 00:41:03,421 * Givin' all your love to just one man * 652 00:41:03,421 --> 00:41:07,425 * You'll have bad times You'll have good times * 653 00:41:07,425 --> 00:41:11,429 * Doin' things that you don't understand * 654 00:41:11,429 --> 00:41:13,431 Oh, baby. 655 00:41:13,431 --> 00:41:16,434 * But if you love him you'll forgive him * 656 00:41:16,434 --> 00:41:21,439 * Even though he's hard to understand * 657 00:41:21,439 --> 00:41:24,442 * And if you love him * 658 00:41:24,442 --> 00:41:26,444 * Oh, be proud of him * 659 00:41:26,444 --> 00:41:29,447 * 'Cause after all he's just a man * 660 00:41:30,448 --> 00:41:33,451 * Stand by your man * 661 00:41:34,452 --> 00:41:36,454 * Give him two arms to cling to * 662 00:41:36,454 --> 00:41:40,458 * And something warm to come to when the nights are cold and lonely * 663 00:41:40,458 --> 00:41:42,460 * Stand by your man ** 664 00:41:42,460 --> 00:41:45,463 [ Jerry ] I gotta tell you, Nick, she's so great. 665 00:41:45,463 --> 00:41:49,467 We had so much fun. We talked, we laughed. 666 00:41:49,467 --> 00:41:52,470 Oh, can you hand me oneof those cheese-flavoredpenises? 667 00:41:54,472 --> 00:41:57,475 Gabriella's everythingI've ever wantedin a woman. 668 00:41:57,475 --> 00:42:00,478 I even pierced my earfor her.Make sure it's the right ear. 669 00:42:00,478 --> 00:42:02,480 Of course it's-- 670 00:42:06,484 --> 00:42:10,488 Yeah, I betterlook into that.How was your evening? 671 00:42:10,488 --> 00:42:13,491 Let's just sayI had some bad shellfishand leave it at that. 672 00:42:13,491 --> 00:42:16,494 Hey! Hold on. [ Jerry ] Here she comes. 673 00:42:16,494 --> 00:42:18,496 Grab my ass.What, are you crazy? 674 00:42:18,496 --> 00:42:21,499 I told her I was gay.Now, wet your lips andlook at me lovingly. 675 00:42:21,499 --> 00:42:25,503 - I look like a homo to you?- Yes, an out-of-shape one, but we have those too. 676 00:42:25,503 --> 00:42:28,506 Thank you very much.That's enough. Move it along.Nothing to see here. Bye-bye. 677 00:42:28,506 --> 00:42:31,509 - What do you want me to do, act like I'm gay-- Ow!- Hi, boys! 678 00:42:31,509 --> 00:42:35,513 I don't believe you two have formally been introduced. This is my life partner. 679 00:42:35,513 --> 00:42:38,516 I'm not his life-- Ow!He's a little seasickthis morning. 680 00:42:38,516 --> 00:42:41,519 Maybe he's justa little lovesick.Right! 681 00:42:41,519 --> 00:42:44,522 [ Screaming ] [ Bone Cracks ] 682 00:42:44,522 --> 00:42:46,524 - We're into S&M.- Oh, okay. 683 00:42:46,524 --> 00:42:51,529 Nick, maybe if you feelbetter later, you would liketo come to my new class? 684 00:42:51,529 --> 00:42:53,531 Yeah?It's dirty dancing. 685 00:42:53,531 --> 00:42:57,535 Ooh, dirty dancing. Ooh, so taboo. 686 00:42:57,535 --> 00:43:01,539 What the hell'swrong with you?"He's my life partner!" 687 00:43:01,539 --> 00:43:04,542 You need to keepan open mind.Nick, hey! 688 00:43:06,544 --> 00:43:09,547 It's onlyfor a few days.Quit bugging me. 689 00:43:09,547 --> 00:43:12,550 I'm getting my nuts handedto me on a platter. I wouldn't mind seeing that. 690 00:43:12,550 --> 00:43:14,552 Don't say it! 691 00:43:17,555 --> 00:43:20,558 Why not?'Cause I won't,that's why. 692 00:43:20,558 --> 00:43:24,562 Be a friend.As a friend,you're a wiener. 693 00:43:24,562 --> 00:43:28,566 Now buzz off!I'm trying to concentrateon my workout. 694 00:43:28,566 --> 00:43:31,569 You're not workin' out. 695 00:43:57,595 --> 00:44:00,598 Nick, if you do methis one favor,I promise you I-- 696 00:44:00,598 --> 00:44:02,600 Nick! 697 00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:05,603 Come on. Listen,I'm begging you. 698 00:44:05,804 --> 00:44:08,606 [ Loud Slap ] [ Man ] Aaah! 699 00:44:11,609 --> 00:44:16,614 Maybe I'll skipthe steam.That's a good idea. 700 00:44:16,614 --> 00:44:19,297 Hey. Listen. 701 00:44:19,617 --> 00:44:21,379 After what happenedwith Felicia, 702 00:44:21,619 --> 00:44:24,622 I thought I'd never feelthis way about a girl again. 703 00:44:24,622 --> 00:44:26,624 Why are you makingsuch a big dealabout this girl? 704 00:44:26,624 --> 00:44:29,627 She's a classicman hater!No, no, no! 705 00:44:29,627 --> 00:44:31,629 See, Gabrielladoesn't mean it. 706 00:44:31,629 --> 00:44:35,633 She's just had bad luckwith guys she dates because theyonly wanna have sex with her. 707 00:44:35,633 --> 00:44:37,635 You know the type.[ Mock Laugh ] 708 00:44:37,756 --> 00:44:41,639 Don't ever take sidesagainst the guys! 709 00:44:41,639 --> 00:44:45,643 Nick, I just need a few daysto get to know her, 710 00:44:45,643 --> 00:44:48,646 and then I'll tell her the truth. 711 00:44:52,650 --> 00:44:54,652 Why are you hidingfrom that woman? 712 00:44:54,652 --> 00:44:58,656 Hiding! I'm not hiding.I have a cramp. 713 00:44:58,656 --> 00:45:01,659 Nick, I'm desperate.What if I offeredto pay you? 714 00:45:01,659 --> 00:45:05,663 Pay me!How dare you? 715 00:45:05,663 --> 00:45:09,667 You think I'd sacrificemy dignity, my self-esteem,my whole way of life... 716 00:45:09,667 --> 00:45:11,669 for a few measly dollars? 717 00:45:11,669 --> 00:45:13,671 No!500 cash? 718 00:45:13,671 --> 00:45:15,673 I'll do it! 719 00:45:17,675 --> 00:45:20,678 Come closer.You're too far away.No! 720 00:45:21,679 --> 00:45:24,682 Hey, hey, hey! Beautiful! Very nice,everyone. I love it. 721 00:45:26,684 --> 00:45:28,686 Jerry, you're lighton your feet. 722 00:45:28,686 --> 00:45:31,689 Yeah, this whole placeis light on its feet.Ow! 723 00:45:33,691 --> 00:45:36,694 No, Nick. Your body's too stiff. Listen to me. 724 00:45:36,694 --> 00:45:40,698 Your body, too stiff.I want you to loosen up.Come on. 725 00:45:40,698 --> 00:45:43,701 There you go. Move it.Then go and danceby yourself. 726 00:45:43,701 --> 00:45:46,704 And feel the music, Nick. Feel it. 727 00:45:55,713 --> 00:45:58,716 Feel it. 728 00:46:02,720 --> 00:46:04,722 Hmm. 729 00:46:08,726 --> 00:46:09,727 [ Chuckling ] 730 00:46:19,737 --> 00:46:21,739 Okay, everyone.Change partners. 731 00:46:27,745 --> 00:46:30,748 Cha-cha, cha-cha-cha.We meet again. 732 00:46:30,748 --> 00:46:33,751 I hope that'syour belt buckleI feel back there. 733 00:46:34,472 --> 00:46:36,754 You know,from the moment we met,I felt... 734 00:46:36,754 --> 00:46:38,756 there wasan electrical chargebetween us. 735 00:46:38,756 --> 00:46:42,760 I think your pacemaker'sshortin' out. 736 00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:45,763 How did you knowI like to be humiliated? 737 00:46:45,763 --> 00:46:48,766 Look, Lloyd,you're barking upthe wrong tree here. 738 00:46:48,766 --> 00:46:51,769 Oh, I know! 739 00:46:51,769 --> 00:46:53,771 You want to lead. 740 00:46:53,771 --> 00:46:56,774 Lloyd, I'm not... 741 00:46:56,774 --> 00:46:58,776 interested. 742 00:46:58,776 --> 00:47:01,779 That's all right.I'm a patient man.I can wait. 743 00:47:03,781 --> 00:47:05,783 I'm also very rich. 744 00:47:05,783 --> 00:47:08,786 You know, I'd liketo spoil you, Nick, 745 00:47:08,786 --> 00:47:11,789 take you placesyou've never been, 746 00:47:11,789 --> 00:47:15,793 show you thingsyou've never seen. 747 00:47:15,793 --> 00:47:17,795 I'd like to--[ Whispering ] 748 00:47:18,796 --> 00:47:20,798 Jerry! 749 00:47:20,798 --> 00:47:23,801 Cha-cha-cha. 750 00:47:24,802 --> 00:47:26,804 That's it. 751 00:47:26,804 --> 00:47:29,807 You're a really gooddance teacher.Really? 752 00:47:29,807 --> 00:47:31,809 Yes.It's fun to teacha class like this. 753 00:47:31,809 --> 00:47:34,812 I always felttoo self-consciousto really... 754 00:47:35,373 --> 00:47:36,814 cut loose, you know? 755 00:47:37,815 --> 00:47:40,818 We have a reviewhere on board. It's likean amateur night thing. 756 00:47:40,818 --> 00:47:42,820 Think you'llbe interested?Too public. 757 00:47:43,821 --> 00:47:45,823 I'm moreof a closet dancer. 758 00:47:45,823 --> 00:47:48,826 That's a shame becauseI'm the choreographer. 759 00:47:48,826 --> 00:47:50,828 Really?Mm-hmm. 760 00:47:50,828 --> 00:47:54,832 Well, for youI might just waltzout of the closet. 761 00:47:55,833 --> 00:47:58,836 You know, it's strange. 762 00:47:58,836 --> 00:48:00,838 What's that? 763 00:48:00,838 --> 00:48:03,841 The way you stare at mesometimes... 764 00:48:03,841 --> 00:48:05,843 or the way you touch me,like that right now, 765 00:48:05,843 --> 00:48:08,846 is exactly the waya straight guy would. 766 00:48:08,846 --> 00:48:10,848 Me? Straight?[ Laughs ] 767 00:48:10,848 --> 00:48:12,850 Girlfriend, please. 768 00:48:12,850 --> 00:48:15,853 Whoo! Nobody's gottateach me how to be gay. 769 00:48:16,854 --> 00:48:18,856 Bette Midleris also known... 770 00:48:19,777 --> 00:48:22,860 as the Divine Miss-- 771 00:48:22,860 --> 00:48:25,863 "M"?Ah, very good! 772 00:48:25,863 --> 00:48:27,865 Very good.Oh, sorry. 773 00:48:28,866 --> 00:48:31,869 Okay, now describethe Brandy Alexanderyou're drinking. 774 00:48:31,869 --> 00:48:33,871 Mmm... refreshing. 775 00:48:33,871 --> 00:48:36,874 No, no, no!It is to die for! 776 00:48:36,874 --> 00:48:40,878 Also acceptableis divine, marvelous, yummy and ooh-la-la. 777 00:48:41,399 --> 00:48:42,880 Got it.Mm-hmm. 778 00:48:44,882 --> 00:48:49,887 [ Both ]* At first I was afraid I was petrified * 779 00:48:49,887 --> 00:48:53,891 * Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side * 780 00:48:53,891 --> 00:48:56,894 * But then I spent so many nights * 781 00:48:56,894 --> 00:48:59,897 * Thinking how you did me wrong * 782 00:48:59,897 --> 00:49:01,899 * Then I grew strong * 783 00:49:01,899 --> 00:49:03,901 * And I learned how to get along * 784 00:49:03,901 --> 00:49:05,903 * And now you're back * 785 00:49:05,903 --> 00:49:07,905 * From outer space * 786 00:49:07,905 --> 00:49:10,908 * I just walked in to see you there with that sad look upon your-- ** 787 00:49:10,908 --> 00:49:13,911 Why you stop singing?Whoo! 788 00:49:13,911 --> 00:49:16,914 Oh, I don't know the words.Aah! 789 00:49:16,914 --> 00:49:21,919 You want to convince peopleyou are gay, and you don't knowthe words to "I Will Survive"? 790 00:49:21,919 --> 00:49:26,924 Singing disco tunes and wearingcalypso outfits is not gonnaconvince Gabriella I'm gay. 791 00:49:26,924 --> 00:49:28,926 Hector, this is stupid. 792 00:49:30,928 --> 00:49:33,931 ** [ Humming "I Will Survive" ] 793 00:49:33,931 --> 00:49:36,934 Are you humming"I Will Survive"?That's right. 794 00:49:36,934 --> 00:49:40,938 And I know all the words.** [ Humming ] 795 00:49:40,938 --> 00:49:43,941 You're looking at melike I'm crazy.I'm not. 796 00:49:43,941 --> 00:49:47,945 You know what?Champagne usuallymakes me act crazy too. 797 00:49:47,945 --> 00:49:50,948 Champagne, ocean air. 798 00:49:50,948 --> 00:49:53,951 Strange thingsmight happen. 799 00:49:53,951 --> 00:49:56,954 I might turn intoa raging heterosexual. 800 00:49:59,957 --> 00:50:02,960 I should be so lucky.Can you imagine? 801 00:50:03,961 --> 00:50:06,964 You know what?Let's get this partyon its feet. Come on. 802 00:50:06,964 --> 00:50:09,967 * I'm feelin' good from my head to my shoes * * Feelin' good * 803 00:50:09,967 --> 00:50:13,971 * Know where I'm going and I know what to do * * Yeah * 804 00:50:13,971 --> 00:50:17,975 * I tidied up my point of view I got a new attitude * 805 00:50:17,975 --> 00:50:20,978 * New attitude, yeah * 806 00:50:20,978 --> 00:50:22,980 * I'm in control and my worries are few * 807 00:50:22,980 --> 00:50:25,983 * 'Cause I've got love like I never knew * 808 00:50:26,664 --> 00:50:28,986 * I got a new-ooh-ooh * 809 00:50:28,986 --> 00:50:30,988 * I got a new attitude ** 810 00:50:37,995 --> 00:50:39,997 Inga, it's me, Nicky. 811 00:50:39,997 --> 00:50:43,000 [ Knocking ] Hurry up. 812 00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:46,003 Nicky. So Mr. Tonguehas a name. 813 00:50:46,003 --> 00:50:49,006 I'm sorry about what happened.You don't have to hit me.The deed was punishment enough. 814 00:50:50,007 --> 00:50:52,009 Nej, nej, nej. 815 00:50:52,009 --> 00:50:56,013 If we ever hook up again,I want to show you...I can reciprocate. 816 00:50:56,013 --> 00:50:58,015 Reciprocate? 817 00:50:58,015 --> 00:51:00,017 Whoo! Ooh. 818 00:51:00,017 --> 00:51:05,022 - [ Groans ]- [ Grunting ] 819 00:51:12,029 --> 00:51:15,032 * I don't want nobody else but you * 820 00:51:15,032 --> 00:51:19,036 * So let me pull you close Let me love you through and through * 821 00:51:19,036 --> 00:51:22,039 * I don't want nobody else but you * 822 00:51:22,039 --> 00:51:27,044 * It's time to get away and have a tête-à-tête for two * 823 00:51:27,044 --> 00:51:29,046 * Shake, shake shake, shake your body * 824 00:51:29,046 --> 00:51:30,047 * Come on, boy let's have a party * 825 00:51:30,047 --> 00:51:34,051 * Break out the congas and play 'em loud * 826 00:51:34,051 --> 00:51:37,054 * Shake up shake up the party * 827 00:51:37,054 --> 00:51:39,056 * Come on, boy we don't need nobody * 828 00:51:39,056 --> 00:51:42,059 * Together I know we'll tear up the town ** 829 00:51:43,060 --> 00:51:47,064 - Hey, Nick! - Hey, fresh meat. Have a seat, Nick. 830 00:51:47,064 --> 00:51:50,067 We can always usea little extraspending money. 831 00:51:50,067 --> 00:51:53,070 I can use a quiet gameof poker.Sorry I'm late, boys. 832 00:51:53,070 --> 00:51:57,074 Had a little trouble squeezinginto these panty hose. 833 00:51:57,074 --> 00:51:59,076 - So, what's the game?- Five-card stud. 834 00:51:59,076 --> 00:52:02,079 Mm-hmm. Very appropriate.Let's play some cards. 835 00:52:04,081 --> 00:52:06,083 I'm tired, Jerry. 836 00:52:06,083 --> 00:52:10,087 You want somethingto drink?Whoa, whoa. One more. 837 00:52:23,100 --> 00:52:27,104 ** [ Singing In French ] 838 00:52:59,136 --> 00:53:03,140 ** [ French Continues ] 839 00:53:24,161 --> 00:53:26,163 [ Thunder Rumbling ] 840 00:53:26,163 --> 00:53:28,165 Hector. 841 00:53:30,167 --> 00:53:33,170 You've beenon a boat before.Is it safe? 842 00:53:33,170 --> 00:53:36,173 Of course it's safe,as long as youare responsible. 843 00:53:37,174 --> 00:53:40,177 Oh, you mean the storm.That I do not know. 844 00:53:40,177 --> 00:53:43,180 [ Thunderclap ] Whoa! 845 00:53:43,180 --> 00:53:48,185 Let me ask you something.How many cruiseshave you been on? 846 00:53:48,185 --> 00:53:53,150 Including this one?That would make it... one. 847 00:53:53,190 --> 00:53:57,194 You see, I only recentlycome all the way outof the closet. 848 00:53:57,194 --> 00:53:59,196 Recently? Really?Mmm. 849 00:53:59,196 --> 00:54:02,199 - I would figure kindergarten.- No, but let me tell you, it wasn't easy. 850 00:54:02,199 --> 00:54:07,204 But it's better to be true to yourself than to lie to the world. 851 00:54:09,206 --> 00:54:12,209 Must have takena lot of guts.It's funny, you know. 852 00:54:12,209 --> 00:54:15,212 These guysI'm playing poker with--Steven, Tom, Ron. 853 00:54:16,213 --> 00:54:18,215 Steven's a doctor.A gay heart surgeon.Who would have thought? 854 00:54:18,215 --> 00:54:22,219 Ron's a criminal defense attorney. He represents badass dudes. 855 00:54:22,219 --> 00:54:25,222 Tom's a cross-dressing pastry chef. 856 00:54:25,222 --> 00:54:28,225 Okay, I would haveguessed that, but still... 857 00:54:28,225 --> 00:54:31,228 they're a greatbunch of guys. 858 00:54:31,228 --> 00:54:33,230 So what are you saying?What am I saying? 859 00:54:33,230 --> 00:54:38,235 What I'm saying is,I kind of wanted to hang outmore with these guys, 860 00:54:38,235 --> 00:54:42,239 but there was a part of methat felt it was somehow... 861 00:54:42,239 --> 00:54:45,242 wrong to be friendswith gay men. 862 00:54:46,243 --> 00:54:50,247 And that... makes me feellike a jerk. 863 00:54:55,252 --> 00:54:57,254 Sit.Come on. Sit. 864 00:55:00,257 --> 00:55:02,259 [ Sighs ]You know, my papa, 865 00:55:02,259 --> 00:55:06,263 he used to thinkthat to be gaywas muy malo, 866 00:55:06,263 --> 00:55:09,266 a big shame. 867 00:55:10,267 --> 00:55:14,271 He no talk to mefor 20 years, his own blood. 868 00:55:14,271 --> 00:55:17,274 Then when he's sick, he's dying, h-he ask for me, 869 00:55:17,274 --> 00:55:20,277 he say to me,"Hector, 870 00:55:20,277 --> 00:55:23,280 "I waste so much time. 871 00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:25,282 "We all God's children. 872 00:55:25,282 --> 00:55:27,284 I'm so sorry." 873 00:55:27,284 --> 00:55:30,287 He said, "I'm sorry." 874 00:55:32,289 --> 00:55:34,291 Ooh. 875 00:55:34,291 --> 00:55:36,293 Uh-- 876 00:55:36,293 --> 00:55:40,297 You see, my papi, he like you.He no jerk. 877 00:55:40,297 --> 00:55:43,300 He just need to learn. 878 00:55:44,301 --> 00:55:46,303 You learn too, my friend. 879 00:55:49,306 --> 00:55:51,308 [ Door Closes ] 880 00:55:51,308 --> 00:55:53,310 [ Jerry, Gabriella Laughing ] 881 00:55:53,310 --> 00:55:56,313 Ohh! Ow, I'm hurting. 882 00:55:56,313 --> 00:56:00,317 [ Thunderclap ] Oh, it feels so goodto get off my feet! 883 00:56:01,078 --> 00:56:04,321 Ohh!I couldn't agreewith you more. 884 00:56:06,323 --> 00:56:08,325 You know what? 885 00:56:08,325 --> 00:56:12,329 I've got to get outof these clothes. 886 00:56:12,329 --> 00:56:14,331 I couldn't agreewith you more. 887 00:56:15,332 --> 00:56:18,335 Listen, would you minddoing me a huge, 888 00:56:18,335 --> 00:56:20,337 huge favor? 889 00:56:20,337 --> 00:56:24,341 Would you spendthe night with me?What? 890 00:56:24,341 --> 00:56:26,343 Yeah, you know,it's the storm. 891 00:56:26,343 --> 00:56:30,347 I wouldn't mindcuddling under the coverswith somebody. 892 00:56:30,347 --> 00:56:33,350 You think Nickwould mind? 893 00:56:33,350 --> 00:56:36,153 Oh-- 894 00:56:36,353 --> 00:56:38,355 Fuck Nick. [ Thunderclap ] 895 00:56:38,355 --> 00:56:40,357 Is this stormgettin' worse... 896 00:56:40,357 --> 00:56:44,361 or am I too drunker? 897 00:56:44,361 --> 00:56:47,364 I have a theory. 898 00:56:47,364 --> 00:56:50,367 I thinkif we drank more, 899 00:56:50,367 --> 00:56:52,369 we might be ableto maintainperfect equilibrium. 900 00:56:52,369 --> 00:56:54,371 I'll try that... 901 00:56:54,371 --> 00:56:58,375 in the pursuitof... science. 902 00:56:58,375 --> 00:57:01,378 I'll get usanother round.I have a better idea. 903 00:57:01,378 --> 00:57:05,382 I have a 50-year-old bottle of cognac... 904 00:57:05,382 --> 00:57:07,384 in my room, 905 00:57:07,384 --> 00:57:09,386 and I'm gonna go get it. 906 00:57:09,386 --> 00:57:11,228 I'll go with you. 907 00:57:11,228 --> 00:57:14,391 I could usethe exercise. 908 00:57:14,391 --> 00:57:16,393 All right. 909 00:57:16,393 --> 00:57:19,396 [ Gabriella ] Jerry. We can get up from under the covers. 910 00:57:19,396 --> 00:57:22,399 I think the storm was over, like, half an hour ago. 911 00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:27,404 That's one hellof a storm though. 912 00:57:27,404 --> 00:57:30,407 You know what?I have somethingyou're gonna love! 913 00:57:30,407 --> 00:57:34,411 Mmm! Get readyto have an orgasm.What? 914 00:57:36,413 --> 00:57:38,415 Open wide. 915 00:57:40,417 --> 00:57:42,139 Mmm.Good? 916 00:57:42,419 --> 00:57:45,422 - Mm-hmm.- [ Moans, Sighs ] 917 00:57:46,423 --> 00:57:50,427 - Do me.- You're so lucky I'm gay. 918 00:57:54,431 --> 00:57:58,435 Oh! Mmm! 919 00:57:58,435 --> 00:58:01,438 [ Moaning ] 920 00:58:01,438 --> 00:58:04,441 - Can I ask you something?- Shoot. 921 00:58:04,441 --> 00:58:07,444 - How do you do it?- Do what? 922 00:58:07,444 --> 00:58:10,447 - Give head.- What? 923 00:58:10,968 --> 00:58:16,453 A blow job.I mean, do you starton the tip of his penis? 924 00:58:16,453 --> 00:58:18,455 Do you stroke itwhile you use your mouth? 925 00:58:18,455 --> 00:58:22,459 Do you tickle the balls?Not everybody likes that. 926 00:58:22,459 --> 00:58:26,463 As a person whogives them and receives them,you must know the perfect way. 927 00:58:26,463 --> 00:58:28,465 Show me.Oh! Uh-- 928 00:58:28,465 --> 00:58:31,468 What?Uh-- 929 00:58:32,469 --> 00:58:34,471 Okay. 930 00:58:37,474 --> 00:58:39,476 Um-- 931 00:58:40,477 --> 00:58:43,480 Um--[ Chuckles ] 932 00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:46,483 What?Eh-- You-- 933 00:58:46,483 --> 00:58:50,247 Nothing smaller then? 934 00:58:50,487 --> 00:58:52,329 You know,I got an idea. 935 00:58:52,489 --> 00:58:56,493 Why don't you show meyour technique, and thenI'll critique it? 936 00:58:57,494 --> 00:59:00,497 Okay.Okay. 937 00:59:00,497 --> 00:59:02,499 Okay.Okay. 938 00:59:02,499 --> 00:59:04,501 Yeah. So look. 939 00:59:04,501 --> 00:59:06,503 First, 940 00:59:06,503 --> 00:59:10,507 I slowly lick the tipwith my tongue, right? 941 00:59:10,507 --> 00:59:12,509 Uh-huh. 942 00:59:16,033 --> 00:59:18,515 [ Moans ] 943 00:59:18,515 --> 00:59:20,517 - Right?- That's good. 944 00:59:20,517 --> 00:59:24,521 Then I gently go down the shaft with my lips. 945 00:59:24,521 --> 00:59:27,524 And at the same time, I tickle the balls. 946 00:59:27,524 --> 00:59:30,527 Then I twirl my tongue all the way... 947 00:59:31,528 --> 00:59:33,530 [ Moans ] 948 00:59:34,531 --> 00:59:37,534 back to the top. 949 00:59:37,534 --> 00:59:40,537 Then I wet my lips, 950 00:59:40,537 --> 00:59:42,539 [ Moans ] 951 00:59:42,539 --> 00:59:44,541 I do a littleplayful nibbling... 952 00:59:47,544 --> 00:59:50,547 [ Speaking Spanish ] 953 00:59:51,548 --> 00:59:54,551 [ Spanish ] 954 00:59:55,552 --> 00:59:57,554 How's that? 955 00:59:57,554 --> 01:00:00,557 - Jerry?- That's fine! 956 01:00:00,557 --> 01:00:02,519 [ Foghorn Bellows ] 957 01:00:05,562 --> 01:00:09,566 For goodness sake, Lloyd,at least kiss me first. 958 01:00:09,566 --> 01:00:11,568 [ Laughing ]No, you didn't. 959 01:00:11,568 --> 01:00:15,572 Oh, yes, I did. 960 01:00:15,572 --> 01:00:18,575 Oh, now where didI put that bag? 961 01:00:18,575 --> 01:00:20,577 I'm just gonna lay down. 962 01:00:21,578 --> 01:00:22,579 [ Snores ] 963 01:00:25,582 --> 01:00:27,584 [ Groans ]Got it. 964 01:00:28,585 --> 01:00:30,587 [ Snoring ] 965 01:00:30,587 --> 01:00:33,590 Now, before we go back upwith the boys, 966 01:00:33,590 --> 01:00:36,593 what do you saywe do a couple of shots? 967 01:00:36,593 --> 01:00:40,597 [ Giggling ]You're a goddamn genius. 968 01:00:40,597 --> 01:00:43,600 Here you go. 969 01:00:43,600 --> 01:00:45,602 Oh.[ Scoffs ] 970 01:00:55,612 --> 01:00:57,614 [ Snoring ] 971 01:01:28,645 --> 01:01:31,208 [ Moans ] 972 01:01:37,654 --> 01:01:39,656 [ Screaming ]Oh, 973 01:01:39,656 --> 01:01:42,659 my... God! 974 01:01:42,659 --> 01:01:45,662 Aaah! 975 01:01:52,669 --> 01:01:54,671 What are you doing? 976 01:01:54,671 --> 01:01:58,675 I have a horribletaste in my mouth,and I can't get rid of it. 977 01:01:58,675 --> 01:02:00,677 What, did youeat something weird? 978 01:02:00,677 --> 01:02:02,679 Yeah.Oh-- 979 01:02:02,679 --> 01:02:05,682 I did a bad,bad thing, Jerry.What? 980 01:02:05,682 --> 01:02:07,684 You know how the sea airmakes you disoriented, 981 01:02:07,684 --> 01:02:10,687 and I was blitzedfrom the drinkingand the partying, and I-I-- 982 01:02:10,687 --> 01:02:13,690 I slept with a man, Jerry. 983 01:02:13,690 --> 01:02:15,692 Very funny. 984 01:02:15,692 --> 01:02:18,695 No, it's not. 985 01:02:18,695 --> 01:02:21,698 I just woke upin Ron's state room...with Ron. 986 01:02:21,698 --> 01:02:23,700 What? 987 01:02:24,701 --> 01:02:27,704 I've chased a lotof women, Jerry. 988 01:02:27,704 --> 01:02:29,706 But to be honest, 989 01:02:29,706 --> 01:02:32,709 I've never actuallyscored with one sinceI was a senior in high school, 990 01:02:32,709 --> 01:02:35,712 and then I had to promiseto marry her. 991 01:02:35,712 --> 01:02:38,715 A 51-year-oldcoffee shop waitress... 992 01:02:38,715 --> 01:02:41,718 and stroke victim... 993 01:02:41,718 --> 01:02:43,720 with a fake leg... 994 01:02:43,720 --> 01:02:45,722 and a lazy eye... 995 01:02:45,722 --> 01:02:47,724 and a mole with teeth--I-I got it. 996 01:02:47,724 --> 01:02:50,727 What I'm trying to say is, 997 01:02:50,727 --> 01:02:53,730 maybe I'm meant to do morethan just play cardswith these guys, Jerry. 998 01:02:53,730 --> 01:02:56,733 [ Scoffs ]I'm finally happy. 999 01:02:57,734 --> 01:02:59,736 I'm so happy. 1000 01:02:59,736 --> 01:03:01,738 I'm gay. 1001 01:03:01,738 --> 01:03:04,741 [ Gabriella ] One, two, three, 1002 01:03:04,741 --> 01:03:07,744 four, five, six, 1003 01:03:07,744 --> 01:03:09,746 seven, eight. 1004 01:03:10,267 --> 01:03:13,750 And one, two,three, four, 1005 01:03:13,750 --> 01:03:15,752 five, six, seven, eight. 1006 01:03:15,752 --> 01:03:17,754 Good. Good work, guys. 1007 01:03:17,754 --> 01:03:20,757 Good work. Hector, try notshaking your ass so much. 1008 01:03:20,757 --> 01:03:23,760 You mean in the danceor in real life? 1009 01:03:24,761 --> 01:03:26,763 Okay, guys, thank youso much for coming. 1010 01:03:26,763 --> 01:03:29,766 I'll see you back heretonight at 11:00. 1011 01:03:29,766 --> 01:03:31,768 Jerry, you arelooking fierce up there. 1012 01:03:31,768 --> 01:03:34,771 Oh-- [ Laughing ] 1013 01:03:34,771 --> 01:03:36,773 I can't rememberwhen I've had this much fun. 1014 01:03:36,773 --> 01:03:39,776 You know, you are just great. 1015 01:03:39,776 --> 01:03:42,259 Hey, 1016 01:03:42,779 --> 01:03:44,781 are you gonna goto the island?I am. 1017 01:03:44,781 --> 01:03:47,784 Do you want meto be your tour guide?I know the island very well. 1018 01:03:47,784 --> 01:03:49,786 That would be yummy. 1019 01:03:49,786 --> 01:03:52,789 Yummy?Uh, let's go. 1020 01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:06,803 Nicholas, I was beginningto wonder about you. 1021 01:04:06,803 --> 01:04:09,806 I'm glad to see that youfinally got that luscious, 1022 01:04:09,806 --> 01:04:13,810 full-figured frame of yoursin the right dinghy. 1023 01:04:13,810 --> 01:04:16,813 It's amazing.A day ago, I would haveseriously thought about... 1024 01:04:16,813 --> 01:04:18,815 punching youin the face for sayingsomething like that. 1025 01:04:19,816 --> 01:04:22,819 This place is paradise.Oh, yeah. We're gonnahave an awesome time. 1026 01:04:22,819 --> 01:04:26,823 I'll say. I can alreadyfeel the men around hereundressing me with their eyes. 1027 01:04:26,823 --> 01:04:29,826 You hungry? You wantto get something to eat?Nope. I have a better idea. 1028 01:04:29,826 --> 01:04:33,830 Let's go exploring first.Great. 1029 01:04:33,830 --> 01:04:36,833 Daddy, thanks so muchfor finding out whereJerry is for me. 1030 01:04:36,833 --> 01:04:38,835 Yeah, I'm sure thingsare gonna work out too. 1031 01:04:38,835 --> 01:04:40,998 Bye-bye. Love you, Daddy. 1032 01:04:41,838 --> 01:04:43,840 How do I getto the Olympia Voyager? Right this way, madam. 1033 01:04:43,840 --> 01:04:46,843 Be careful with those bags.They're worth morethan you make in a year. 1034 01:04:46,843 --> 01:04:48,845 [ Chuckling ]Bon voyage. 1035 01:04:48,845 --> 01:04:50,847 Bitch. 1036 01:04:52,849 --> 01:04:54,851 Hey, Nick.How ya doin'? 1037 01:04:54,851 --> 01:04:57,854 Hey, fine.I'm not sore or anything. 1038 01:04:57,854 --> 01:04:59,856 Hey, buddy,about last night, 1039 01:04:59,856 --> 01:05:01,858 I understand why it happened. 1040 01:05:02,859 --> 01:05:03,860 I mean, uh,I'm pretty charismatic, 1041 01:05:03,860 --> 01:05:06,863 and if the moon hits mein just the right way, 1042 01:05:06,863 --> 01:05:08,865 I can lookpretty damn tasty. 1043 01:05:08,865 --> 01:05:10,867 You know, you're okay too, 1044 01:05:10,867 --> 01:05:13,870 but, uh, I'd just reallyrather we stay friends. 1045 01:05:13,870 --> 01:05:16,873 All right. Me too, Nick. 1046 01:05:16,873 --> 01:05:18,875 Yeah? Wow.Yeah. 1047 01:05:18,875 --> 01:05:21,878 If I would have said thatto a chick, she'd bea total mess right now. 1048 01:05:22,359 --> 01:05:24,881 I'm starting to see the upsideto this whole thing. [ Marching ] 1049 01:05:24,881 --> 01:05:27,884 If you do what Sonya says--one, two, three, four. 1050 01:05:27,884 --> 01:05:31,888 Woke up with no tanning cream,now you're off the tanning team. 1051 01:05:31,888 --> 01:05:33,890 One, two, three, four--Coach, 1052 01:05:33,890 --> 01:05:35,892 look, it'sthe Hawaiian Tropic team. 1053 01:05:42,899 --> 01:05:44,901 [ Swedish ] 1054 01:05:51,908 --> 01:05:54,911 [ Man ] Hey, break it up, ladies. Come on. Move. 1055 01:05:54,911 --> 01:05:56,913 Come on. Take it easy. 1056 01:05:56,913 --> 01:06:00,917 [ Whistles ]Break it up. Break it up. 1057 01:06:00,917 --> 01:06:02,919 Save it forthe tanning competition. 1058 01:06:02,919 --> 01:06:06,923 Bad! You are bad!Everybody move out now! 1059 01:06:13,930 --> 01:06:15,932 Okay, girls, get yourheinies on the donkeys... 1060 01:06:15,932 --> 01:06:17,934 now! 1061 01:06:18,935 --> 01:06:21,938 Nick? 1062 01:06:21,938 --> 01:06:25,942 I just wanted to say good-bye.I'm going to the airport now. 1063 01:06:25,942 --> 01:06:28,945 Inga, it was greatalmost knowing you. 1064 01:06:28,945 --> 01:06:31,948 Nick, if you're ever nearGettzemüllersteigen, Sweden, 1065 01:06:31,948 --> 01:06:33,950 I would love to see you again. 1066 01:06:33,950 --> 01:06:35,952 I don't think so, baby. 1067 01:06:35,952 --> 01:06:37,954 I don't thinkthis is gonna work out. 1068 01:06:37,954 --> 01:06:41,958 But I thoughtyou liked me, Nick. 1069 01:06:41,958 --> 01:06:43,960 I'm confused. 1070 01:06:43,960 --> 01:06:46,963 [ Sighs ]So am I.You don't even know. 1071 01:06:46,963 --> 01:06:49,966 You better hurry. You have an ass to catch. 1072 01:06:49,966 --> 01:06:52,008 [ Sniffling ] 1073 01:06:52,969 --> 01:06:55,972 And you?Huh. Hey. 1074 01:06:58,975 --> 01:07:00,977 [ Sonya ] And we go. 1075 01:07:02,979 --> 01:07:05,982 Oh, that feels good. 1076 01:07:06,983 --> 01:07:10,987 Hey, Nick.About last night, 1077 01:07:10,987 --> 01:07:13,990 you don't think anythinghappened, do you? 1078 01:07:13,990 --> 01:07:15,992 What do you think happened? 1079 01:07:15,992 --> 01:07:19,996 Nothing.You and I drank too muchand then fell asleep. 1080 01:07:19,996 --> 01:07:22,999 Are you sure?Yeah. 1081 01:07:22,999 --> 01:07:26,002 Inga! 1082 01:07:26,002 --> 01:07:30,006 [ Cackling ]Inga! 1083 01:07:30,006 --> 01:07:32,008 Well, I think we lostthat one forever. 1084 01:07:32,008 --> 01:07:34,010 A lot of potentialin that boy. 1085 01:07:34,010 --> 01:07:37,013 Could have beenone of the great ones. 1086 01:07:37,013 --> 01:07:40,016 I saw in himwhat I saw in Elton John.Mmm. 1087 01:07:49,025 --> 01:07:52,028 Had your vitamin C today? 1088 01:07:52,028 --> 01:07:56,032 You know, you really make me laugh. 1089 01:07:57,033 --> 01:08:00,036 Mmm. 1090 01:08:01,037 --> 01:08:04,040 I'm so glad we met.[ Gasps ] 1091 01:08:04,040 --> 01:08:06,042 Mm-hmm. 1092 01:08:06,042 --> 01:08:10,046 You know,it really is a shame... 1093 01:08:10,046 --> 01:08:12,048 to let this placego to waste. 1094 01:08:12,048 --> 01:08:16,052 Just a friendly kiss.Mmm. 1095 01:08:16,052 --> 01:08:18,054 [ Moaning ] 1096 01:08:20,056 --> 01:08:22,058 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1097 01:08:22,058 --> 01:08:25,061 Jerry, I don't want to feellike I am pressuring you... 1098 01:08:25,061 --> 01:08:27,063 into doing somethingyou don't want to do. 1099 01:08:27,063 --> 01:08:29,065 Oh, I want to do thisvery badly. 1100 01:08:29,065 --> 01:08:32,068 Really?Yes. 1101 01:08:32,068 --> 01:08:35,071 Okay.So, let me be your guide. 1102 01:08:35,071 --> 01:08:38,074 And I promise, I'm gonna--I'm gonna be gentle. 1103 01:08:38,074 --> 01:08:40,076 I'm gonna be patient. 1104 01:08:40,076 --> 01:08:44,080 And I'm gonna take itvery, very slowly. 1105 01:08:44,080 --> 01:08:46,082 - Great.- [ Screams ] 1106 01:08:46,082 --> 01:08:49,085 [ Gasping ] 1107 01:08:49,085 --> 01:08:52,088 Ooh! 1108 01:08:52,088 --> 01:08:55,091 [ Moaning ] 1109 01:08:55,091 --> 01:08:58,094 * As I'm kissing you * 1110 01:09:00,096 --> 01:09:04,100 * As I'm kissing you * [ Gabriella Moaning ] 1111 01:09:04,100 --> 01:09:08,104 * As I'm kissing you * 1112 01:09:10,106 --> 01:09:14,110 * Are you ready to catch me I'm fallin' in love ** 1113 01:09:14,110 --> 01:09:16,112 Jerry, Jerry, 1114 01:09:16,112 --> 01:09:20,116 you're a really quick study. 1115 01:09:20,116 --> 01:09:22,118 That's enough foreplay. 1116 01:09:24,120 --> 01:09:28,124 Excuse me. Could you ringJerry Robinson's room, please? 1117 01:09:28,124 --> 01:09:30,126 Certainly. 1118 01:09:34,130 --> 01:09:38,134 [ Chuckles ][ Ringing ] 1119 01:09:38,134 --> 01:09:40,136 No one seemsto be answering, ma'am. 1120 01:09:40,136 --> 01:09:42,138 Oh-- Could yougive me his room number? 1121 01:09:42,138 --> 01:09:44,140 I'm sorry. We're not allowedto divulge that information. 1122 01:09:44,381 --> 01:09:47,143 Would you liketo leave a message? 1123 01:09:47,143 --> 01:09:50,146 No, thanks.I want to surprise him. 1124 01:09:52,148 --> 01:09:54,791 Thank you. 1125 01:09:59,996 --> 01:10:02,078 [ Scoffs ] 1126 01:10:04,160 --> 01:10:08,164 Want to have dinnerwith me tonight? 1127 01:10:08,164 --> 01:10:12,168 No.Why not? 1128 01:10:12,168 --> 01:10:17,173 Because I'm fallingin love with you. 1129 01:10:17,173 --> 01:10:19,536 You are? 1130 01:10:20,176 --> 01:10:21,578 Yes, I am. 1131 01:10:22,178 --> 01:10:23,660 And out of all the dumb, 1132 01:10:24,180 --> 01:10:26,182 boneheaded romantic movesI've made over the years, 1133 01:10:26,182 --> 01:10:28,184 you see, this will bethe dumbest. 1134 01:10:28,184 --> 01:10:31,187 No-No-No. Wait, Gabriella.This-This could work. 1135 01:10:31,187 --> 01:10:33,189 How do you thinkthis is gonna work? 1136 01:10:33,189 --> 01:10:35,191 I can't make you intosomething you're not, Jerry. 1137 01:10:35,191 --> 01:10:38,194 I do that with every man I fall for, 1138 01:10:38,194 --> 01:10:40,196 and it has to stop. 1139 01:10:42,198 --> 01:10:46,202 Besides, you alreadyhave someone.No, I don't. 1140 01:10:46,202 --> 01:10:49,205 What about Nick? 1141 01:10:49,205 --> 01:10:51,207 Uh-- 1142 01:10:52,208 --> 01:10:55,211 That's just... physical. 1143 01:10:55,211 --> 01:10:59,215 Listen. I have to acceptwho you really are. 1144 01:10:59,215 --> 01:11:02,218 I really want to bealone right now. 1145 01:11:19,235 --> 01:11:21,237 [ Squeals ] 1146 01:11:36,252 --> 01:11:38,254 [ Clears Throat ]Hi. 1147 01:11:38,254 --> 01:11:41,137 Hi. 1148 01:11:41,257 --> 01:11:43,259 It's kind of niceseeing another womanon board. 1149 01:11:43,259 --> 01:11:45,261 Oh, tell me about it. 1150 01:11:45,261 --> 01:11:47,263 All I've seen are men,most of them gay. 1151 01:11:47,263 --> 01:11:49,265 Well, it is a gay cruise. 1152 01:11:49,265 --> 01:11:52,268 [ Sighs ] 1153 01:11:52,349 --> 01:11:55,271 - What'd you just say?- You didn't know? 1154 01:11:55,271 --> 01:11:59,275 No. I came on board to get back together with my boyfriend. 1155 01:11:59,275 --> 01:12:03,279 I don't get it.Why in the worldwould he be on a g-- 1156 01:12:03,279 --> 01:12:06,282 [ Elevator Dings ] 1157 01:12:07,283 --> 01:12:09,285 Good luck. 1158 01:12:09,285 --> 01:12:11,287 Thanks. 1159 01:12:12,288 --> 01:12:15,291 Hector! Ooh-- 1160 01:12:15,291 --> 01:12:17,293 [ Crash ] 1161 01:12:17,293 --> 01:12:20,296 Have you seen Gabriella?No, I've been lookingfor her myself. 1162 01:12:20,296 --> 01:12:23,299 Everything is falling apart.The music is not ready-- 1163 01:12:23,299 --> 01:12:27,303 Victor, the lead dancer,is seasick. 1164 01:12:27,303 --> 01:12:30,306 And look at my costume.Huh? It hangs. 1165 01:12:30,306 --> 01:12:32,308 It's supposed to drape. 1166 01:12:32,308 --> 01:12:35,311 Okay. If you see Gabriella,could you give her this messagefor me, please? 1167 01:12:35,311 --> 01:12:37,313 [ Screams ] 1168 01:12:37,313 --> 01:12:40,316 How could Ihave been so blind? 1169 01:12:40,316 --> 01:12:42,318 I mean, the signs wereright in front of my eyes. 1170 01:12:42,318 --> 01:12:45,321 [ Hiccups ]Foreign films, 1171 01:12:45,321 --> 01:12:47,323 Rabbit convertible, 1172 01:12:47,323 --> 01:12:51,327 gourmet mustards-- 1173 01:12:51,327 --> 01:12:53,329 Wait. 1174 01:12:53,329 --> 01:12:56,332 Maybe he's only curious. 1175 01:12:56,332 --> 01:12:59,335 I mean, there was that one timewhen I was in college, 1176 01:12:59,335 --> 01:13:02,338 my roommate Bianca and I,we shared a Jacuzzi. 1177 01:13:02,338 --> 01:13:06,342 [ Chuckling ]Whoa. Now that gotkind of hot. 1178 01:13:08,344 --> 01:13:11,347 Oh. 1179 01:13:11,347 --> 01:13:14,350 I got to go, Bob.Keep the change.Thanks. 1180 01:13:17,353 --> 01:13:19,355 Think twice before you-- 1181 01:13:19,355 --> 01:13:23,359 * Blow the man down * 1182 01:13:23,359 --> 01:13:25,361 [ Hector ] Woo-hoo-hoo! Thank you. 1183 01:13:25,361 --> 01:13:29,365 Okay. Get everybodyready for the next number.They have less than a minute. 1184 01:13:31,367 --> 01:13:34,370 What? 1185 01:13:34,370 --> 01:13:37,373 Nobody told me Victorwas too sick to dance.Who's gonna be the lead? 1186 01:13:37,373 --> 01:13:41,377 * I'm comin' * 1187 01:13:41,377 --> 01:13:43,379 * Comin' out * 1188 01:13:45,381 --> 01:13:49,385 * I'm comin' * I'm comin'... 1189 01:13:49,385 --> 01:13:51,387 * Out * out. 1190 01:13:51,387 --> 01:13:53,389 Oh, my God. 1191 01:13:53,389 --> 01:13:56,392 [ Lip-synching ] * I'm comin' out * 1192 01:13:56,392 --> 01:14:01,397 * I want the world to know Got to let it show * 1193 01:14:01,397 --> 01:14:04,400 * I'm comin' out * 1194 01:14:04,400 --> 01:14:08,404 * I want the world to know Got to let it show * 1195 01:14:09,405 --> 01:14:13,409 * I'm comin' * 1196 01:14:14,410 --> 01:14:16,412 * Out * 1197 01:14:17,413 --> 01:14:19,415 * There's a new me comin' out * 1198 01:14:19,415 --> 01:14:22,418 * And I just have to live And I just wanna give * 1199 01:14:23,139 --> 01:14:25,421 * I'm completely positive * 1200 01:14:25,421 --> 01:14:27,423 * I think this time around * 1201 01:14:27,423 --> 01:14:31,427 * I am gonna do it like you never knew it * 1202 01:14:31,427 --> 01:14:33,429 * Oh, I'll make it through * 1203 01:14:33,429 --> 01:14:37,433 * The time has come for me to break out of this shell * 1204 01:14:37,433 --> 01:14:41,437 * I have to shout that I am comin' out * 1205 01:14:41,437 --> 01:14:44,440 * I'm comin' out * * Oh, yeah * 1206 01:14:44,440 --> 01:14:46,442 * I want the world to know * 1207 01:14:46,442 --> 01:14:49,445 * Got to let it show * 1208 01:14:49,445 --> 01:14:51,447 * Oh, I'm comin' out * 1209 01:14:51,447 --> 01:14:54,450 * Comin' out * * I want the world to know * 1210 01:14:54,450 --> 01:14:57,453 * Got to let it show * * Oh, yeah * 1211 01:14:57,453 --> 01:15:00,456 * I'm comin' * 1212 01:15:00,456 --> 01:15:02,458 * Out * 1213 01:15:03,459 --> 01:15:05,461 Oh. 1214 01:15:05,461 --> 01:15:08,464 * I'm comin' out * * Comin' * 1215 01:15:08,464 --> 01:15:10,466 * I want the world to know * * Out * 1216 01:15:10,466 --> 01:15:12,468 * Got to let it show * 1217 01:15:12,468 --> 01:15:15,471 * Woo-oo, I'm * * I'm comin' out * 1218 01:15:15,471 --> 01:15:16,472 * Comin' * 1219 01:15:16,472 --> 01:15:18,474 * I want the world to know * * Out * 1220 01:15:18,474 --> 01:15:20,476 * Got to let it show * 1221 01:15:21,477 --> 01:15:23,960 * Comin' out * * I'm comin' out * 1222 01:15:24,480 --> 01:15:26,042 * Comin' * * I want the world to know * 1223 01:15:26,482 --> 01:15:28,484 * Out * * Got to let it show * 1224 01:15:29,485 --> 01:15:31,487 * I'm * * I'm comin' out * 1225 01:15:31,487 --> 01:15:33,489 * Comin' * * I want the world to know * 1226 01:15:33,489 --> 01:15:37,493 * Out * * Got to let it show ** 1227 01:15:42,498 --> 01:15:44,500 Cocksucker! 1228 01:15:44,500 --> 01:15:47,503 Felicia. 1229 01:15:48,625 --> 01:15:51,507 I was talkin' to him. 1230 01:15:51,507 --> 01:15:53,509 Bu-- 1231 01:15:53,509 --> 01:15:55,511 [ Crying ] [ Jerry ] Felicia! 1232 01:15:57,513 --> 01:16:00,516 Felicia, what are youdoing here? 1233 01:16:00,516 --> 01:16:02,518 Don't even talk to me.I feel so humiliated. 1234 01:16:02,518 --> 01:16:04,520 Oh.Well, how did you find me? 1235 01:16:04,520 --> 01:16:07,523 What were you thinking aboutwhen we were making love--cabana boys? 1236 01:16:07,523 --> 01:16:12,528 Hey, hey-- I am not gay.And to think, I wantedto be your wife! 1237 01:16:12,528 --> 01:16:15,531 What? 1238 01:16:15,531 --> 01:16:17,533 I really missed you, Jerry. 1239 01:16:17,533 --> 01:16:19,535 All the special times we had--we complimented each other. 1240 01:16:19,535 --> 01:16:22,538 We could have builta life together. 1241 01:16:22,538 --> 01:16:24,540 Built a life together?Yes. 1242 01:16:24,540 --> 01:16:27,543 Well, what about Andre,the buffer boy? 1243 01:16:27,543 --> 01:16:29,545 It was just a fling.Oh-- 1244 01:16:29,545 --> 01:16:31,547 A horrible, thoughtless,insensitive mistake.Eh-- 1245 01:16:31,547 --> 01:16:34,550 But he showed me whatI really wanted--Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 1246 01:16:34,550 --> 01:16:37,553 A stable, decent man who willalways be there for me. 1247 01:16:37,553 --> 01:16:40,556 And I thought that that was you. 1248 01:16:40,556 --> 01:16:42,558 [ Sighs ]What are you saying?You want to get back together? 1249 01:16:42,558 --> 01:16:46,562 Well, I did... beforeI found out that you were gay. 1250 01:16:48,564 --> 01:16:50,566 How could you think I'm gay? 1251 01:16:50,566 --> 01:16:53,569 You're standing there preeninglike a gay peacock, 1252 01:16:53,569 --> 01:16:55,571 and you don't want meto think you're tutti-frutti? 1253 01:16:55,571 --> 01:16:58,574 For heaven's sake, Felicia! 1254 01:16:58,574 --> 01:17:01,577 I am not gay,and I never have been gay. 1255 01:17:01,577 --> 01:17:03,579 Then why the hellare you on this boat? 1256 01:17:03,579 --> 01:17:07,583 Nick-- Nick and I got on this cruise by mistake. 1257 01:17:07,583 --> 01:17:11,587 And then I met this girl, and she assumed I was gay. 1258 01:17:11,587 --> 01:17:14,590 And then I stupidlywent along with it because-- 1259 01:17:14,590 --> 01:17:17,593 She's behind me, isn't she? 1260 01:17:17,593 --> 01:17:19,595 [ Sighs ] 1261 01:17:19,595 --> 01:17:21,597 [ Groans ] 1262 01:17:23,599 --> 01:17:26,602 How could you? 1263 01:17:26,602 --> 01:17:28,604 Gabriella, I'm sorry. 1264 01:17:28,725 --> 01:17:31,607 - I tried to tell you.- You're an asshole, Jerry. 1265 01:17:31,848 --> 01:17:34,610 [ Sighs ]I-- Ow! 1266 01:17:34,610 --> 01:17:36,612 [ Squeals ] [ Felicia ] Oh, oh-- 1267 01:17:36,612 --> 01:17:39,615 Oh! Oh, oh.Not again! 1268 01:17:39,615 --> 01:17:42,618 Oh. 1269 01:17:43,619 --> 01:17:46,622 That was the girlI was talking about. 1270 01:17:46,622 --> 01:17:50,626 Well, looks likeyou had a dumb fling yourself. 1271 01:17:50,626 --> 01:17:53,629 I tell you what,if you can forgive me, 1272 01:17:53,629 --> 01:17:55,631 I can certainly forgive you. 1273 01:17:55,631 --> 01:17:59,635 And we can get married just like you always wanted, Jerry. 1274 01:17:59,635 --> 01:18:02,638 Oh, I love you, baby. 1275 01:18:02,638 --> 01:18:04,640 What do you say? 1276 01:18:05,641 --> 01:18:08,644 [ Man ] Great. Now one of the bride and groom... 1277 01:18:08,644 --> 01:18:12,128 staring at each other lovingly. 1278 01:18:12,648 --> 01:18:15,651 You look so beautiful.Thank you. 1279 01:18:15,651 --> 01:18:18,654 Why don't we bothlook beautiful? 1280 01:18:18,654 --> 01:18:21,657 [ Whispering ]Take out that earring. 1281 01:18:21,657 --> 01:18:23,659 [ Jerry ]Felicia is good for me. 1282 01:18:27,663 --> 01:18:31,667 She planned this entire weddingall by herself. 1283 01:18:32,668 --> 01:18:36,672 Got me a great jobwith her father. 1284 01:18:36,672 --> 01:18:39,675 Got us a new apartment,picked out all the linensand plates. 1285 01:18:39,675 --> 01:18:41,677 And as our wedding gift, 1286 01:18:41,677 --> 01:18:44,680 she gave mean entire new wardrobe. 1287 01:18:44,680 --> 01:18:46,682 Hmm. 1288 01:18:46,682 --> 01:18:49,685 Yep, the only decisionI have left to makefor the rest of my life... 1289 01:18:49,685 --> 01:18:52,688 is whether I want to beburied or cremated. 1290 01:18:52,688 --> 01:18:55,611 No, no, I take that back. 1291 01:18:55,691 --> 01:18:57,693 We're being buried side by side.She told me this morning. 1292 01:19:16,712 --> 01:19:18,714 Hey, Jerry,I'm sorry I'm late. 1293 01:19:18,714 --> 01:19:21,717 I had a little bit ofa personal crisis this morning. 1294 01:19:21,717 --> 01:19:23,719 Is everythingall right, Pastor?Oh, fine. Fine. 1295 01:19:23,719 --> 01:19:26,722 Just, uh, had a few personalissues I had to clarify, but-- 1296 01:19:26,722 --> 01:19:28,724 Hey, it's your big day.Nothing's gonna spoil it. 1297 01:19:28,724 --> 01:19:30,726 Glad to see youfinally made it, Reverend. 1298 01:19:30,726 --> 01:19:33,729 I've got a string quartetback at the Hyatt about togo into golden time. 1299 01:19:34,730 --> 01:19:36,732 Congratulations, sir.Thank you. 1300 01:19:37,733 --> 01:19:39,735 Friends of yours?Yes, sir. 1301 01:19:39,735 --> 01:19:41,737 I met them on the cruise.Oh. 1302 01:19:41,737 --> 01:19:43,900 So you accidentally hoppedaboard the Guy-tanic too, huh? 1303 01:19:44,740 --> 01:19:46,742 How's it goin'? 1304 01:19:46,742 --> 01:19:48,744 I guess not. 1305 01:19:48,744 --> 01:19:52,748 Jerry, I'm gonna keepmy eye on you. 1306 01:19:52,748 --> 01:19:54,750 What's up, guys? Hey, come here. 1307 01:19:54,750 --> 01:19:56,752 It's important.You're not gonna believe this. 1308 01:19:56,752 --> 01:19:58,754 [ Whispering, Indistinct ] 1309 01:19:58,754 --> 01:20:02,678 There is no more sacred contractthan the bond of marriage... 1310 01:20:02,758 --> 01:20:04,760 and no more spiritual union... 1311 01:20:04,760 --> 01:20:08,764 than that between a man and a woman. 1312 01:20:08,764 --> 01:20:11,767 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today... 1313 01:20:11,767 --> 01:20:13,769 to bring this man and this woman... 1314 01:20:13,769 --> 01:20:17,773 together in the eyes of-- 1315 01:20:19,775 --> 01:20:21,777 In the eyes of, uh-- 1316 01:20:21,777 --> 01:20:24,780 - God?- God. 1317 01:20:24,780 --> 01:20:26,782 Yeah, yeah.That's what you say. 1318 01:20:26,782 --> 01:20:28,784 No, that's what you say. 1319 01:20:28,784 --> 01:20:30,786 Yeah, yeah. Well, I used to until recently. 1320 01:20:30,786 --> 01:20:33,789 I mean, uh, if therereally was a God, 1321 01:20:33,789 --> 01:20:35,791 would he allow my wife to run off with a contractor... 1322 01:20:35,791 --> 01:20:37,793 who overcharged mefor a bay window? 1323 01:20:37,793 --> 01:20:41,797 But that's my problem. That's my problem. I'm sorry. It's your day. Where was I? 1324 01:20:41,797 --> 01:20:45,801 Um, a happy marriage isthe perfect human relationship, 1325 01:20:45,801 --> 01:20:48,804 a setting in which each partner feels free... 1326 01:20:48,804 --> 01:20:53,809 to be as he or she is under God's bountiful nature. 1327 01:20:53,809 --> 01:20:56,812 That same nature that allowedthe number-five horseat Pimlico... 1328 01:20:56,812 --> 01:20:59,815 - to screw me in a photo finish.- [ Clears Throat ] 1329 01:20:59,815 --> 01:21:01,817 I'm sorry. Where was I? Ah, yeah, yeah. 1330 01:21:01,817 --> 01:21:04,820 Um-- Oh-- So if thereis anyone present who feelsthere's a reason... 1331 01:21:04,820 --> 01:21:08,824 that these two people should not be joined together in holy matrimony, 1332 01:21:08,824 --> 01:21:11,827 let them speak nowor forever hold their peace. 1333 01:21:17,833 --> 01:21:18,834 [ Minister ] Okay, fine. 1334 01:21:19,835 --> 01:21:22,838 Jerry, then, if there is noobjection, turn to Feliciaand repeat after me. 1335 01:21:24,840 --> 01:21:27,843 I, Jerry, take you Felicia... 1336 01:21:27,843 --> 01:21:30,286 to be my lawful wedded-- Stop. Wait, wait! 1337 01:21:30,846 --> 01:21:32,848 [ Nick ] Time out! Time out! 1338 01:21:32,848 --> 01:21:34,850 Nick, what are you doing? 1339 01:21:34,850 --> 01:21:36,852 I have to say something. 1340 01:21:36,852 --> 01:21:39,855 If I didn't speak now,I could never live with myself. 1341 01:21:39,855 --> 01:21:44,860 A couple weeks ago, Jerry and I took a cruise together. 1342 01:21:44,860 --> 01:21:47,863 It wasn't the cruise we intended to take, but... 1343 01:21:47,863 --> 01:21:49,865 it was a good thingwe got on the wrong boat,because... 1344 01:21:50,866 --> 01:21:52,868 it changed our lives forever. 1345 01:21:52,868 --> 01:21:54,870 Jerry, if you marryFelicia today, 1346 01:21:54,991 --> 01:21:57,873 it will end up in disaster. 1347 01:21:57,873 --> 01:22:01,877 You need to be with the person you fell in love with on that boat. 1348 01:22:02,878 --> 01:22:04,880 And I know it, 1349 01:22:04,880 --> 01:22:07,883 because that person... 1350 01:22:07,883 --> 01:22:09,885 is me.Hmm? 1351 01:22:09,885 --> 01:22:13,889 Oh, oh![ Screams ] 1352 01:22:13,889 --> 01:22:15,891 How much of that potdid you smoke? 1353 01:22:15,891 --> 01:22:18,894 I know where Gabriella is.If we hurry, we can catch her. 1354 01:22:18,894 --> 01:22:21,897 Jerry, what the hellis wrong with you? 1355 01:22:21,897 --> 01:22:24,900 You can't humiliate melike this in frontof my family and my friends! 1356 01:22:24,900 --> 01:22:27,903 My dad is gonna kill you!Come on, Rocco! 1357 01:22:27,903 --> 01:22:30,906 - Come on, boy. - Daddy! 1358 01:22:30,906 --> 01:22:32,908 Move! Move! 1359 01:22:32,908 --> 01:22:35,911 Daddy, do something! * I need love, love * 1360 01:22:35,911 --> 01:22:37,913 * To ease my mind * 1361 01:22:37,913 --> 01:22:43,919 Where's your car?We're not taking my car.We'd never make it across town. 1362 01:22:43,919 --> 01:22:45,921 Yoo-hoo! Boys! Boys. * You can't hurry love * 1363 01:22:45,921 --> 01:22:47,923 * No, you just have to wait * [ Siren Wailing ] 1364 01:22:47,923 --> 01:22:49,925 * She said love don't come easy * 1365 01:22:49,925 --> 01:22:52,928 Hector, you're a fireman. * It's a game of give and take * 1366 01:22:52,928 --> 01:22:56,932 Yes. I'm Novemberin our calendar. * You can't hurry love * 1367 01:22:57,933 --> 01:23:02,938 - Hey, hey! Stop!- Thank you, Ernie, dear. 1368 01:23:02,938 --> 01:23:05,941 Call me! * Well, how many heartaches * 1369 01:23:05,941 --> 01:23:09,945 * Must I stand Before I find the love ** 1370 01:23:09,945 --> 01:23:13,949 - So where's Gabriella?- She signed up to work another cruise. 1371 01:23:13,949 --> 01:23:17,953 - When does she leave port?- Two hours ago. 1372 01:23:17,953 --> 01:23:19,955 Two hours ago? 1373 01:23:19,955 --> 01:23:22,958 And how am I supposed tofind her in the ocean? 1374 01:23:24,960 --> 01:23:27,963 [ Engine Whirring ] 1375 01:23:27,963 --> 01:23:29,965 [ Jerry ] I can't do this! 1376 01:23:29,965 --> 01:23:31,967 Oh, I get motion sickness! 1377 01:23:31,967 --> 01:23:34,970 Yes, you can.Come on, Jerry. 1378 01:23:34,970 --> 01:23:36,972 You're about to be unitedwith the woman you love. 1379 01:23:36,972 --> 01:23:38,974 What do you think? 1380 01:23:38,974 --> 01:23:41,977 Oh--Why don't you calm down? 1381 01:23:41,977 --> 01:23:43,979 You are in very,very good hands. 1382 01:23:43,979 --> 01:23:45,981 Are you sure you knowwhat you're doing? 1383 01:23:45,981 --> 01:23:48,984 I know you onlythink of me... 1384 01:23:48,984 --> 01:23:50,986 as a hard-partyingold queen, 1385 01:23:50,986 --> 01:23:53,989 but for your information, I spent 32 years... 1386 01:23:53,989 --> 01:23:55,991 in the armed forces... 1387 01:23:55,991 --> 01:23:58,994 serving Her Majesty,the real queen. 1388 01:23:58,994 --> 01:24:01,997 I've seen actionin five differenttheaters of war. 1389 01:24:01,997 --> 01:24:06,001 I've made over 490 drops,23 over hostile territory. 1390 01:24:06,001 --> 01:24:09,004 I am what you colonialsmight call... 1391 01:24:09,004 --> 01:24:11,006 a bad-assed motherfucker, 1392 01:24:11,006 --> 01:24:14,009 who also happens to bean expert... 1393 01:24:14,009 --> 01:24:17,493 in the delicate artof Japanese flower arranging. 1394 01:24:18,013 --> 01:24:21,016 Oh.Over the target, Captain. 1395 01:24:21,016 --> 01:24:24,019 Right.It's now or never.Eh-- Aaah! 1396 01:24:24,019 --> 01:24:27,022 Come on, Jerry,get off here. Jump out! 1397 01:24:27,022 --> 01:24:29,024 [ Jerry ]I can't do this! 1398 01:24:29,024 --> 01:24:32,027 [ Nick ] Go get her, Jerry! This is a really bad idea! 1399 01:24:33,028 --> 01:24:36,031 [ Jerry Screaming ] 1400 01:24:36,031 --> 01:24:41,036 Wait! I'm gonna be sick.I mean it. Oh! 1401 01:24:42,037 --> 01:24:44,039 Oh, I felt that one. 1402 01:24:44,039 --> 01:24:46,041 [ Lloyd ]Good Lord,you're a crybaby! 1403 01:24:48,043 --> 01:24:51,046 [ Gabriella's Voice ] Five, six, seven, eight. 1404 01:24:51,046 --> 01:24:54,049 Kick back, head up, down. 1405 01:24:54,049 --> 01:24:56,051 One more time. 1406 01:24:56,051 --> 01:24:59,054 Kick back, head up, down. 1407 01:24:59,054 --> 01:25:02,057 I want it sassy now.Come on. Kick, plié. [ Jerry Shouting, Indistinct ] 1408 01:25:02,057 --> 01:25:06,061 Head up, down.And kick, plié. 1409 01:25:06,061 --> 01:25:08,063 [ Jerry Shouting ] I'm not a person who likes heights! 1410 01:25:08,063 --> 01:25:12,067 Oh, I don't feel so good.I don't feel so good. 1411 01:25:13,068 --> 01:25:17,072 Oh, I hate this! 1412 01:25:17,072 --> 01:25:20,075 [ Screaming ] 1413 01:25:20,075 --> 01:25:23,078 - What is that?- [ Jerry ] I don't like this! 1414 01:25:23,078 --> 01:25:27,082 [ Lloyd ]We're over target.Prepare for release. 1415 01:25:27,082 --> 01:25:29,084 Release! Aaah! 1416 01:25:31,086 --> 01:25:33,088 Ha-ha! Oh, we did it! 1417 01:25:34,089 --> 01:25:36,091 [ Laughing ] I'm so excited! 1418 01:25:36,091 --> 01:25:40,095 If truth be told, I'm morethan a little excited myself. 1419 01:25:40,095 --> 01:25:43,098 Oh--Unhook me, please. 1420 01:25:43,098 --> 01:25:45,100 I don't believe this. 1421 01:25:45,100 --> 01:25:50,105 - Help, please.- This time I'm gonna let you drown. 1422 01:25:50,105 --> 01:25:52,107 Well, you're gonna have todrag me over to the deep end, 1423 01:25:52,107 --> 01:25:54,109 'cause it's only aboutthree-and-a-half feet over here. 1424 01:25:54,109 --> 01:25:57,112 - What are you doing here?- I was in the neighborhood, 1425 01:25:57,112 --> 01:26:01,116 so I figured,well, I'd just drop in. 1426 01:26:01,116 --> 01:26:02,117 Good-bye. 1427 01:26:02,117 --> 01:26:05,120 Uh, Gabriella, wait! Please. 1428 01:26:08,123 --> 01:26:10,125 Mm-hmm? 1429 01:26:10,125 --> 01:26:13,128 I thought I was beingreasonably clever... 1430 01:26:13,128 --> 01:26:16,131 considering I just dropped1,500 feet out of an airplane. 1431 01:26:16,131 --> 01:26:18,133 Why'd you bother? 1432 01:26:31,146 --> 01:26:33,148 Because I love you. 1433 01:26:33,148 --> 01:26:37,152 Who loves me--gay Jerry as a friend, 1434 01:26:37,152 --> 01:26:41,156 or is this straight, lying, deceitful Jerry? 1435 01:26:41,156 --> 01:26:44,159 Hmm? 1436 01:26:45,160 --> 01:26:46,161 You've never met this Jerry. 1437 01:26:47,162 --> 01:26:50,165 This is the extremely sorry, 1438 01:26:50,165 --> 01:26:53,168 unbelievably heartbrokenbecause you left me, 1439 01:26:53,168 --> 01:26:56,171 will do anything to get youto forgive me... 1440 01:26:56,171 --> 01:26:58,173 because I want to spend the restof my life with you Jerry. 1441 01:27:00,175 --> 01:27:02,177 Well, you listen to me,Jerry. 1442 01:27:03,178 --> 01:27:04,660 Just because you droppedout of the sky... 1443 01:27:05,180 --> 01:27:07,182 and made thisgrand romantic gesture... 1444 01:27:07,182 --> 01:27:10,185 doesn't mean thatI'm gonna automaticallyrun into your arms. 1445 01:27:10,185 --> 01:27:12,187 Do you understand that?Hmm? 1446 01:27:12,187 --> 01:27:14,189 Yes.Good. 1447 01:27:17,192 --> 01:27:20,195 Okay. I'm probably going to,but you shouldn'tautomatically expect it. 1448 01:27:20,195 --> 01:27:22,197 Because if we're gonna havethe kind of relationship... 1449 01:27:23,198 --> 01:27:25,200 where one day you're gonnabe making all thesehurtful fantasies-- 1450 01:27:30,205 --> 01:27:32,207 Don't you ever, ever... 1451 01:27:32,207 --> 01:27:34,209 lie to me again. 1452 01:27:34,209 --> 01:27:37,212 I swear. 1453 01:27:45,220 --> 01:27:48,223 I'll neverunderstand it. 1454 01:27:48,223 --> 01:27:50,225 Neither will I. 1455 01:28:08,243 --> 01:28:12,247 [ Nick, Echoing ] Inga! 1456 01:28:13,248 --> 01:28:17,252 Inga. Inga. 1457 01:28:17,252 --> 01:28:19,254 Inga. 1458 01:28:21,256 --> 01:28:24,259 [ Knocking ] 1459 01:28:35,270 --> 01:28:37,272 My God.Oh, my God! 1460 01:28:39,274 --> 01:28:42,277 I'm Nick Ragoni. I'm a friendof your daughter Inga. 1461 01:28:42,277 --> 01:28:45,280 I've traveled 12,000 milesto surprise her. 1462 01:28:45,280 --> 01:28:48,283 You poor thing. You look frozen.Let me help you up. 1463 01:28:50,285 --> 01:28:53,288 [ Groaning ]Let me and my sonhelp you up. 1464 01:28:53,288 --> 01:28:55,290 Johan, come over here. Ja. 1465 01:28:55,290 --> 01:28:57,292 Oh-- 1466 01:28:57,292 --> 01:28:59,294 Come on. 1467 01:28:59,294 --> 01:29:03,298 This man is obviouslya fan of smörgåsbord. 1468 01:29:04,299 --> 01:29:07,302 Ingmar, what's going on? 1469 01:29:07,302 --> 01:29:09,304 Oh, Mother, he's anAmerican friend of Inga's. 1470 01:29:09,304 --> 01:29:13,308 Oh, I hope you didn't go too much trouble to get here. 1471 01:29:13,308 --> 01:29:14,309 - Inga's not home.- What? 1472 01:29:14,309 --> 01:29:18,313 She's gone to Italyon a modeling assignment. 1473 01:29:18,313 --> 01:29:21,316 - Won't be back for three months.- Oh, God, no. 1474 01:29:21,316 --> 01:29:25,320 - I can't believe it.- You poor boy. 1475 01:29:25,320 --> 01:29:28,323 You look so cold.You'll join us for dinner. 1476 01:29:28,323 --> 01:29:31,326 Bridgit, get this mansome soup from the stove. 1477 01:29:34,329 --> 01:29:38,333 This is Bridgit.She wants to be a bikini model,just like her big sister. 1478 01:29:39,334 --> 01:29:42,337 Nice to meet you. 1479 01:29:42,337 --> 01:29:45,340 And Bridgit's coach will bejoining us for dinner too. 1480 01:29:45,340 --> 01:29:48,343 [ Woman Gasps ] 1481 01:29:50,345 --> 01:29:52,347 Oh-- 1482 01:29:52,347 --> 01:29:55,350 Oh, Nicholas. 1483 01:29:55,350 --> 01:29:58,353 Hello. 1484 01:29:58,353 --> 01:30:00,355 We meet again.