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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

3
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What the fuck is your problem?

4
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:16,482
No dishwee-saya.

5
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,442
My bumbaclot Johnson
no working, see?

6
00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:19,617
What?

7
00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:23,368
I'm a rasclot true gashman
and my dick won't stay tick, see?

8
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:26,120
I think I got something for that.
Hold on.

9
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:32,795
Girl, wake your ass up.
Damn right you ain't asleep.

10
00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:38,845
"Crabs... bad breath."

11
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:41,803
"Limp dick." Ha!

12
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,096
Got that dough?

13
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:46,147
Mm-hmm.

14
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,935
Will this make my drill sergeant
stand at attention?

15
00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:52,063
No, but it'll make you forget your drill
sergeant don't stand at attention.

16
00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:54,520
Blaze two,
get at me in the morning. Peace!

17
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:57,402
Yo, Silas, my brother!

18
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,317
Oh, shit, Mikey. Hell, no!

19
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:04,530
Hey, come on, Silas.
I need something to help me out.

20
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,458
Yeah, rehab, mouthwash,
and a job application. Jeez...

21
00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:12,208
I'm starting to
recognize things.

22
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:13,401
That's 'cause you coming down

23
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:16,007
off a three-month crack binge.
[T's called reality, son.

24
00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:18,176
- Later, man.
- Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, Silas!

25
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:20,800
You've got anything
for a head wound?

26
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:23,052
Man, ain't nothing
wrong with your head.

27
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:28,971
There is now.

28
00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,433
Fuckin' crackhead.

29
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,941
Now what? Oh, shit, ive!

30
00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:38,363
What's up, dog?

31
00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:43,909
- What's up, nigga?
- What's crackin'?

32
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,453
Oh, shit. You know.

33
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,708
Hey, yo, you get my message
about goin' to the jets game?

34
00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:52,912
Yo, I wish I could, dog, but I got this
little shorty coming through tonight.

35
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,372
I met her
on the Internet, chickenheads.Com.

36
00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:57,378
This girl is banging!

37
00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,710
Yo, we even exchanged pictures
and everything!

38
00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:03,172
- Damn. This look like your last girlfriend.
- Mm-hmm.

39
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:07,475
And did your picture have that nasty al b.
Sure! Pubic patch in it, motherfucker?

40
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:10,349
Yo, this just sprang up.
You know what I think it is?

41
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,396
It's the Mark of Buddha.

42
00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:15,191
And your haircut game
is fucked up.

43
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:17,360
Girlfriend see that,
she's gonna shit on you.

44
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:20,359
This girl is different. All she cares
about is Kevin costner movies.

45
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,691
I'm gonna let kev
do the foreplay, right?

46
00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:25,573
And I figured I could get something
from the "garden of weeden"

47
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:27,200
to make it interesting.

48
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:28,530
- Costner, huh?
- Mm-hmm.

49
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,240
Dances with wolves.

50
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,370
Field of dreams.

51
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:32,997
That's a corny motherfucker.

52
00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:35,454
You gonna need
some strong shit just to stay awake.

53
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,086
You're feeling me.
You're feeling me.

54
00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:40,154
That's a four-hour move
you're makin', motherfucker.

55
00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:42,169
Whoo! What is this?

56
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:43,379
Huh?

57
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:44,553
Get up.

58
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:46,051
Dog, you shouldn't have.

59
00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,429
Man, I didn't.
Get outta here with that shit.

60
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,476
- Let me just grab her itty.
- Hell, no.

61
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,844
She wouldn't
even know it was me.

62
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,479
To hell with that.

63
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,015
What you got for me?

64
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,430
Here you go,
right here, the bomb.

65
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,766
Oh, yeah.
What's this right here?

66
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,151
Stop touching stuff!

67
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,903
When you gonna
get funds for this shit?

68
00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:05,471
Look right there.
See that right there?

69
00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:07,531
That's a natural
aphrodisiac right there.

70
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:09,487
Come here.
Let me show you some more shit.

71
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:13,041
Look right there. See that right there? That's
a painkiller. Look up under there, bro.

72
00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:14,959
You see that?
Cure for blue balls.

73
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:17,162
This ain't shit, all right?
Watch yourself.

74
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:20,499
Yeah, well, your shit is raggedier
than a motherfucker, okay?

75
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:24,031
You know, if you took your head
off these hos and put them in some books,

76
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:26,341
you'd have the lab
you always talked about.

77
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:30,426
Half those books is filled with bullshit,
the other half lies, all right?

78
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,977
See what I'm saying?
I gotta give pops his medicine.

79
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:34,850
I'm hungrier than four dudes.

80
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:37,853
Hey, I'm hungrier than five.

81
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:39,864
Who is you,
and what you doing in my house, Jack?

82
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,436
I work for pork chops 0'chunky.

83
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,863
Whether you're black,
or a honky, or in-between,

84
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,690
you'll love pork chops 0'chunky.

85
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:48,277
Man, that's mean!
So what's in this stuff?

86
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,657
- Hey, nothing but pork.
- Wow! Right on!

87
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,102
Why don't you come and
have a bowl...

88
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,161
There you go.

89
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,288
Yo, you scared to
answer your calling?

90
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:57,494
Man, what calling?

91
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:01,965
Pork chops 0'chunky taste real good

92
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,168
won't make your
bathroom smell funky, yeah

93
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:09,844
you got an opportunity to do something here
that the drug companies would never do.

94
00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:12,538
Let's put the power of the healing
back into the hands of the common man.

95
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,768
Hey, whatever, man.

96
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:17,222
What you need to do is concentrate
on getting the power of Booty

97
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,978
into the hands of
your common ass.

98
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:20,421
That's what the hell
you need to do.

99
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:23,278
Don't worry about the ive.
I got mine coming tonight.

100
00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:24,480
Hey, Silas.

101
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:25,718
Damn, you see the ass on her?

102
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:27,073
What's up, boy?

103
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,994
Yo, you just remember to take them thcs,
at least try to get into college,

104
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:33,322
working in a real lab,
making some real money.

105
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:36,874
Yeah, okay. Whatever, man.
If you say so, bro.

106
00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:39,961
The world is bigger
than staten island, dog.

107
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,254
I'm out.

108
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,793
- Holler at me.
- I'll try to.

109
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:47,968
Silas: What's up, ladies?

110
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,512
Yo, si.

111
00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:52,181
If I got hit by
a bus tomorrow, I got your back, dog.

112
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:54,510
If anything happened to me
while I jumped out of a window

113
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:57,095
and my hair caught on fire,
I got your back, dog.

114
00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,557
If my ex came at me with a knife
and stabbed me, I got your back!

115
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:03,189
Man, you talk too
fucking much. Peace!

116
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,862
Yo, Silas!
You better take those college exams!

117
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,699
Woman: Look at Jamal.
He's a good boy, huh?

118
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:13,532
Good boy, my ass. Ask him why I had
to cancel my nail appointment

119
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,614
to go and pick him up
in the precinct last week.

120
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:17,533
Mamma, they lying.

121
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:18,537
They lying?

122
00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,619
They found the weed
on you, didn't they?

123
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:21,999
It wasn't mine.

124
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,706
Then what is this
that I found in your bedroom?

125
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:30,549
And this is where
you turn it on at.

126
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,471
Excuse me?

127
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:33,639
Head.

128
00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:42,061
Now, where did I go wrong
with your ass?

129
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:45,565
You're gonna have to take that thc
test and get into a four-year college

130
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:48,021
or I'm gonna just cut you off
from this family.

131
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:53,531
Baby, you are the first member
of this family to go to college.

132
00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:57,535
But six years at a two-year
community college isn't what I had in mind!

133
00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:58,536
Both: Tell the truth.

134
00:06:58,627 --> 00:06:59,627
Baby, I got a dream

135
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:02,202
that one day
I could put your college diploma

136
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:04,538
here under my Jesus,
who's master of this house,

137
00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:10,968
and your sister's
weave master degree.

138
00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:12,762
Now don't disappoint me,

139
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,807
you weed-smoking,
three-day-wearing nasty ass.

140
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:17,805
Just like your father, - ma,

141
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:21,434
why you always gotta be talking to
me like that in front of company?

142
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:22,604
These bitches ain't nobody.

143
00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:26,018
Now go warm me up some
pork chops 0'chunky.

144
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,227
Is that all, mamma?

145
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,062
Wash your nasty ass.

146
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:31,739
Is that all, mamma?

147
00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:36,870
You the man.

148
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,328
What's up, baby?

149
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:42,955
Oh, hell, no!

150
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:45,795
I didn't know you had dreads.

151
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,088
And what is that?

152
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,881
Brother just got extensions
put in today.

153
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,129
They tight, huh?

154
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,256
Where? Between your eyes?

155
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:54,466
What the hell is that?

156
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:55,592
It's the Mark of Buddha.

157
00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:58,016
It's the skidmark of Buddha!

158
00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:00,845
Looks like he took a dump
in the middle of your face.

159
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,541
I don't think
this is gonna work out.

160
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:03,600
Hold on now!

161
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:07,605
Why you doing this? I rented field
of dreams and dances with wolves.

162
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:10,153
Nigga, you are a wolf.

163
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:13,566
Chocolate diva! Nubian goddess!

164
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:16,693
I'm taking you off
my buddy list, bitch!

165
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:20,409
I hope you get a virus,
you and your computer!

166
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:24,647
Man 1:
If you build it, they will come.

167
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,732
Man 2: What do you mean, "if you
build it, they gonna come"?

168
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:31,125
Who're these people gonna come to a fucking
cornfield? Who's gonna cut the grass?

169
00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:34,507
I know you don't expect me
to sell no peanuts up in this bitch.

170
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:37,259
This shit remind me
of slavery, roots and shit.

171
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,635
[ Don't play this, man.

172
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:39,762
Ray: Hey, what was that?

173
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,889
Annie! Crazy ho!

174
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:45,672
Know what I'm saying? Only way I'm coming is
if you got some females and some chronic.

175
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,474
Then we all gonna be coming.

176
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:49,651
Ray: That voice just now,
what was it?

177
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,319
Annie: We didn't hear anything.

178
00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:53,271
You got some
nice titties, dog. Word.

179
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,902
Woman: What titties? What?

180
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,859
Ray: Okay, you must've
heard that.

181
00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,910
Annie: It's a good
baseball field, ray.

182
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:01,659
Ray: It's kind of pretty,
isn't jit?

183
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,832
Annie: Oh, yeah. Ray: Told you.

184
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:05,658
Annie: Did not. Ray: I did.

185
00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:07,834
Annie: No, you did not.
You been busy plowin' my com.

186
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:28,686
Mark of Buddha, my ass.
Look at you now. Dead, ashes.

187
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:32,269
Damn, ivory.
After all these years of blazing,

188
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:36,694
who would've thought the last thing to wind
up smoking would be your ass?

189
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,616
I'm gonna miss you, dog,

190
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:41,945
and I'm gonna be thinking about you
while I'm taking them thcs.

191
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,951
And if you're really my boy,

192
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:46,954
you'll make sure
I pass that motherfucker, you heard?

193
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:50,708
Thanks, pops. Matter of fact,
what's up with that little...

194
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:54,257
Can I get a little...
Never mind. Forget it.

195
00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:58,800
Rude-ass motherfucker.
Stingy bastard!

196
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:01,722
Shit.

197
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:07,020
Hey, early girl.

198
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:11,600
Oh, ivory! My, how you've grown!

199
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:22,031
Damn, ivory! I had no idea
you could stink so good, nigga!

200
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:24,196
Jeez!

201
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:31,544
Man: Hey, man.
Get that car fixed, yo!

202
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,873
Blunt o'clock, boy!

203
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,764
Man, get the fuck
outta here, man!

204
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:50,017
Look at this little-ass
bag of fucking weed!

205
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:57,065
Yes, lord. Oh, damn!

206
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,875
Oh, shit! My weed!

207
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:19,842
No cigar? No!

208
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:22,337
Fuck! Fuck! Bitch!

209
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:25,344
Fuck! Fuck! Bitch! Fuck!

210
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,647
Got blunt?

211
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:35,524
Got weed?

212
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,857
Man, that shit smells
good as hell, dog.

213
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:39,948
I'm Jamal.

214
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,068
Peace. Silas.

215
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:44,401
Say, you trying to get something to
bring them nerves down, too, huh, bro?

216
00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:49,034
Yeah, I figure if I study high, take
the test high, get high scores.

217
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,410
Right? Right.

218
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:52,708
Right.

219
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:55,954
Man: Look at that car.

220
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,289
Woman: Is it on fire?

221
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:00,465
Hit that, son.

222
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:14,900
Yo!

223
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:16,902
Yo!

224
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:19,815
This is the shit.

225
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:21,146
That shit is called ivory.

226
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,276
It's the shit.

227
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,469
That's the ivory, right there.

228
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:25,358
- Goddamn!
- This is the shit.

229
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:28,778
Hey, y'all pass that, kid.

230
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,411
I just gave it
to the guy in the back, man.

231
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,875
Guy in the back?
What the fuck are you...

232
00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:37,670
- What's up, dog?
- That's ivory.

233
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,339
No, that's the ivory, bro. Damn.

234
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:43,009
Ivory! Shit!
You got to be kidding me!

235
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,929
Yo, yo, yo, Silas! Chill out! Silas!

236
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:47,929
Word!

237
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:51,802
What the fuck is going on?
Ain't you supposed to be dead?

238
00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:55,100
I am dead, but this is
what happens when you smoke your boy.

239
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,807
Holy shit! Man, let me try that!

240
00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:58,902
Ivory: Silas, relax.

241
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,381
Now can we talk about this
back in your car?

242
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:02,361
Look, I know how you
can get high scores.

243
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:10,619
I'm a ghost, ghost, ghost,
ghost, ghost, ghost.

244
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,581
Don't touch me, man.

245
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:14,953
It's me, dog.

246
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,748
What are you doing, lve? You just running
the streets, fucking with the living?

247
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,751
No, bro. I'm just here for you.

248
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:23,879
But you gotta understand that people
can only see me when they smoke me.

249
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:26,461
I got all the answers.
I can consult with people.

250
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:29,923
Socrates, Nietzsche,
even the old dude who made up this test.

251
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:32,100
- That's bullshit.
- I bullshit you not.

252
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:34,973
Remember, I told you I have your back,
even if I got hit by a bus.

253
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:37,680
Man, matter of fact, your ass
didn't even get hit by a bus.

254
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:47,281
I made it!
I can't feel my legs, but I'm alive!

255
00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:57,913
- And you predicted that shit?
- Yeah.

256
00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:00,916
So what are you doing here, man?
You gonna hook me up with a chick

257
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,609
with no gag reflex
or some shit like that?

258
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:04,919
Even better.
I'm gonna be in there with you.

259
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:08,629
By the time I'm done with you, every college
in the country will be knocking at your door.

260
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,851
Ow! Shit. Man, I must not
be high enough, nigga.

261
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,061
He's a ghost, man.

262
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,522
Cool. That explains everything.

263
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:22,396
I'm up here trying to
put my fucking hand through the...

264
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:28,065
We've never had anybody,
let alone two people, get a perfect score.

265
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:33,032
We either have
a one-in-six-billion phenomenon or a cheat.

266
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:35,017
- Damn!
- It would've been impossible

267
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:36,101
for either of you to cheat.

268
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:39,208
You had two
totally different versions of the test.

269
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:44,005
Congratulations. These scores are going to
get you into any college in the country.

270
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:46,878
Yo, we still high on that ivory?

271
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,342
Huntley: Dean, it's as
simple as this.

272
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:58,928
The trustees
of the university are riding my ass

273
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:01,105
about getting some
color up at Harvard.

274
00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:03,057
- Excuse me?
- Ethnic diversity.

275
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,938
The trustees seem to think
we need it.

276
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:06,940
How come we don't have
more minorities?

277
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,271
How should I know?

278
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:11,529
If we don't do something soon,
I might get fired.

279
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,985
What about upchuck kamalu?
He's eskimo.

280
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,537
Why isn't he considered
as a minority? And I brought him in.

281
00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:19,707
Yes, but it's breaking the bank
keeping his igloo frozen.

282
00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:22,627
Dean, what about those two guys
I read about from the tri-states?

283
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:25,079
They made perfect scores
on their thcs!

284
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:29,008
I saw those guys' pictures.
They look like mug shots!

285
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,053
I don't care. I want them!

286
00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:37,971
At reparations technical institute, we
offer a cornucopia of educational

287
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:39,142
and business opportunities

288
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:42,376
for brothers and sisters to pursue higher
learning. Read from the brochure, brother.

289
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,435
Brothers, join us

290
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:46,359
at reparations technical institute
and learn hatred for the white devil

291
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,812
in a relaxed campus atmosphere,
where classes range...

292
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,426
- From...
- Hatred for the white devil.

293
00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:52,219
- To...
- Advanced hatred for the white devil.

294
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,653
- And...
- Volleyball.

295
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:55,029
Both: Next!

296
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,391
You think you're all
hot tamales right now, I'll tell you.

297
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:58,934
Why don't you come down
to the base and understand

298
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,415
what it's really like
to be somebody special?

299
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:02,992
You can work hard, you learn,

300
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,749
and then you can
build refrigerators and such.

301
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,000
Next!

302
00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:09,207
- Taking a vow of celibacy...
- Next!

303
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,633
- Frees your mind...
- Next!

304
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,506
- And your body.
- Next!

305
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:16,385
Harvard? Ain't it
a lot of Richie people up there?

306
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,683
Shit, I gotta roll up
that joint, dog.

307
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:22,011
Well, with test scores like these,
you can roll up any joint you want.

308
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:26,190
But Harvard, gentlemen,
is not just any joint. It's an institution.

309
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:29,394
All I want to do
is develop my herbal in a real lab

310
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,775
and get some head
while I'm doing it.

311
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:36,279
Well, we have the finest
botany department in the world

312
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:38,907
and a quality of life
like no other.

313
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,455
Music, artists, and the women.

314
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:46,285
So, does it sound tempting?
Ivy league atmosphere?

315
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:49,372
A place where you can
really grow academically?

316
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,507
I'll fucks with you.

317
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:52,925
Shit, I fucks with you, too.

318
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,047
Is that good?

319
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:55,253
Yes, that's a "yes."

320
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:56,963
Then we'll fox with each other!

321
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:11,314
Damn!

322
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:14,485
Silas: They look like
they still in high school, yo.

323
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:18,071
If there's grass
on the infield, play ball.

324
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,528
Where the fuck
is orientation at, anyway?

325
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:24,157
Both: Damn!

326
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,295
What the fuck was that?

327
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,462
Jesus!

328
00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:34,959
If I can pull off
six years at a community college,

329
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:38,797
I know I can get
at least 12 years up in this motherfucker.

330
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,883
Yo, how much of that
ivory shit we got, anyway?

331
00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:44,640
We limited, all right?
We'll have to split this shit up.

332
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:47,847
You know what I'm saying?
We only Blaze at test times.

333
00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,182
What, no wake and bake?

334
00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:50,733
Got other stuff for that.

335
00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:52,195
Oh.

336
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:55,198
Bart!

337
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,649
Remember those artifacts
that I found this summer?

338
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:00,485
Well, I was right!
They are Ben Franklin's!

339
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:03,913
Great! Did you figure out
where you want to eat dinner tonight?

340
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,912
Dinner? Bart, you know, some of
these things are...

341
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,789
They look like
earlier inventions,

342
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:10,915
and if I can discover
what these are,

343
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:14,124
it could be the greatest find
in the history of anyone attending Harvard.

344
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:16,129
I love Ben Franklin, girl,

345
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:20,589
and I could listen to you
talk about his stinking ass all day long.

346
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:22,260
Excuse me?

347
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:25,927
Oh. Does anybody know
where the financial aid office is?

348
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:27,478
Well, my man, let me think.

349
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:31,308
See that statue right there?
[T's beautiful, isn't it?

350
00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:34,109
That statue is in the likeness
of my great-granddaddy dooster,

351
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:36,778
so I'm guessing
that would be the dooster house,

352
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:39,152
the financial aid office.

353
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:43,111
Gee, I don't think I've ever met anyone
who actually needed to go there.

354
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:45,321
All we did was come over here
and ask for directions.

355
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:48,954
If we came over here and asked if
anybody needed their ass kicked,

356
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:51,127
you wouldn't sound
so fucking smug, now, would you?

357
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:53,454
My bad, bro.
We got off on the wrong foot.

358
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:55,380
Let's start over. I'm Bart.

359
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:56,753
Yeah, I'm Jamal.

360
00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:59,256
Well, my friend, this is crew,
but don't even think about it.

361
00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:02,134
You don't look
like you could hang, Jermaine.

362
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:04,966
The name's Jamal,
and I'll fuck your crew up.

363
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,052
Who are they? Who are they,
goddamn it?

364
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,137
It's rowing, Jimmy jam.

365
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,722
Well, Bart-fart,
you got skills in it?

366
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,182
Yeah, I'm captain of the team.

367
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:15,142
Well, if you can do it,
I can do it, sucker.

368
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:16,352
That's right, god damn it!

369
00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:18,779
This isn't basketball, j. Rock.

370
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:22,324
I train all year round for three seasons to
make number one in single sculls.

371
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:25,778
Well, you're about to be number two,
'cause I'm signing up, buddy.

372
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:28,580
Well, practice starts tomorrow
at 6:00 A.M., all right?

373
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:32,252
Fine! I don't mind
cutting my evening short to be there.

374
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:37,586
As Dean of freshmen, I have welcomed
students from all over the world.

375
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:40,214
From Korea, from Rome,

376
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:41,840
Istanbul.

377
00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:46,383
Students enter Harvard
with a variety of goals.

378
00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:49,810
Excuse me.
Are we in the right place?

379
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,603
Anyone? Anyone?

380
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:52,931
You? You?

381
00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:55,600
As I was saying,

382
00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:58,519
Harvard isn't for everyone.

383
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:01,276
Oh, shit! We got
a black man for a teacher.

384
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,948
That's what I'm talking about.

385
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,991
- What's up, bro? Holla.
- We straight.

386
00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:06,285
We straight.

387
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,539
- As I was saying...
- What's wrong with his ass?

388
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:14,210
He's probably been locked up more
times than me and your ass put together.

389
00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:17,208
Old, green jiminy cricket,
suit-wearing ass motherfucker.

390
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:18,209
Silas: Ghetto!

391
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:21,042
Old, short Colin Powell-
haircut-having ass motherfucker.

392
00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:22,137
Ghetto!

393
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,381
Little Angela Davis moustache

394
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,672
- wearing ass motherfucker!
- Ghetto!

395
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,757
You ol' Richard pryor shortcut,

396
00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:30,389
fade-happening-
around-the-side wearing fucker!

397
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:34,848
You little Sammy Davis award junior
afro-haircut-having ass motherfucker!

398
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,182
Ghetto!

399
00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:38,484
Dynamite disco daddy
devastating...

400
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,651
Ghetto!

401
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,229
Don Cornelius-with-a-haircut...

402
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:42,358
Gentlemen!

403
00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:47,486
If you don't mind, I'd like you to sit
down. I would like to continue.

404
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,787
Excuse me.

405
00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:53,999
Excuse me. Watch your toes.
Watch the corns. Excuse me.

406
00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:59,330
Thank you for your
entertaining anecdotes.

407
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:04,214
We here at Harvard
are rooted in tradition.

408
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:05,920
What the fuck is this?

409
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,506
That's toilet water.

410
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:11,308
It's a part of my pledge.
Do you guys mind?

411
00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:13,511
No, but do you mind
talking that way?

412
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:16,268
'Cause your breath smells
like straight ass-crack, bro.

413
00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:19,145
Isn't there a hip-hop convention you
two should be at or something?

414
00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:20,476
Silas and Jamal: Ooh!

415
00:21:20,571 --> 00:21:22,061
Shark has fangs!

416
00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:23,521
Word. Hey, go easy on him.

417
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:27,154
We probably the only blackheads he seen
since he looked in the mirror.

418
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:29,405
God, can you guys
just show a little respect?

419
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:31,257
This class is fucking boring.
I'm outta here!

420
00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:32,332
Uh, excuse me.

421
00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:33,580
Did I hear you say something?

422
00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:35,874
With all due respect, suck my dick.

423
00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:42,457
No, sir.
I'm not saying anything. It's these guys.

424
00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:43,631
Jamal: You're an asshole.

425
00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:45,129
Did you call me an asshole?

426
00:21:45,221 --> 00:21:47,132
- No, I said "idiot."
- An idiot?

427
00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:49,635
- No, sir.
- What did you say?

428
00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:51,306
I said that this school
has nice halls.

429
00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:52,473
This is not funny.

430
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:55,303
You couldn't teach
your way out of kindergarten class, Dean.

431
00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:58,730
I think we've had enough interruptions for
today. I think you should leave!

432
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,308
Sir...

433
00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:05,191
This would
never have happened if I were black.

434
00:22:08,118 --> 00:22:10,484
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

435
00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:12,911
- Better pull back on those pedals, boy.
- Why?

436
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:15,660
Maximum speed
on campus is 15 mphs.

437
00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:17,412
In mphs"?

438
00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:20,915
Fifty bucks?
Oh, man, I can't pay this.

439
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:22,041
Well.

440
00:22:22,132 --> 00:22:23,542
This isn't even q real ticket.

441
00:22:23,634 --> 00:22:26,125
It's a student citation.
See, I'm a volunteer.

442
00:22:26,220 --> 00:22:29,462
You need to pay that
by Friday at 5:00...

443
00:22:29,557 --> 00:22:31,468
- That was uncalled for.
- Fat me.

444
00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:33,829
You just earned yourself
another citation.

445
00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:35,684
Fuck off!

446
00:22:38,399 --> 00:22:40,310
Well, well, well.

447
00:22:40,401 --> 00:22:43,063
Look who we have here.

448
00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:45,144
Damn, this bike's phat as hell!

449
00:22:45,239 --> 00:22:46,479
Whoa! Don't touch!

450
00:22:46,574 --> 00:22:48,314
All right, leave the bike alone.

451
00:22:48,409 --> 00:22:52,243
Did you just call me fat?
And what is that stench?

452
00:22:53,747 --> 00:22:55,863
That's my Cologne.
Cannabis for men.

453
00:22:55,958 --> 00:22:58,665
I don't know what that is.
Forewarning, gentlemen.

454
00:22:58,752 --> 00:23:01,209
You better watch your mouths
and your behinds.

455
00:23:01,297 --> 00:23:04,209
See, I'm looking for the ecstasy.
I'm looking for the pot.

456
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:07,292
Oh, yeah. I'm looking
for those 'shrooms.

457
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:09,502
Shit, we looking
for that shit, too!

458
00:23:09,597 --> 00:23:11,053
What are you talking about?

459
00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:12,721
Both: Same thing
you talking about.

460
00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:14,139
What are we talking about?

461
00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,558
Look, Gerald.
Either you're holding,

462
00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:19,136
or get on your little roadster
and move the fuck on, okay?

463
00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:22,815
It's volunteer officer pickelstine,
and I am watching you.

464
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:24,688
Oh, I'm watching you
like a hawk.

465
00:23:27,197 --> 00:23:28,528
Like a hawk!

466
00:23:28,616 --> 00:23:30,447
Somebody needs a hug.

467
00:23:34,788 --> 00:23:38,201
Don't worry, baby.
You can suck my dick after class.

468
00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:40,700
Oh! Wow!

469
00:23:40,794 --> 00:23:43,376
Oh, she wants me.
Welcome to lovell house.

470
00:23:43,464 --> 00:23:46,422
You look funky fresh,
and funky fresh

471
00:23:46,508 --> 00:23:49,045
always likes funky fresh women.

472
00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:53,929
"Amir. Professional
student resident advisor for you."

473
00:23:54,016 --> 00:23:57,133
And professional player.
So, what's mine is yours,

474
00:23:57,227 --> 00:24:00,014
and what's yours
I've probably already had.

475
00:24:00,648 --> 00:24:04,482
You, and you, and me,
we're the same: Africa tan.

476
00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:07,401
The original man
was like us, man.

477
00:24:07,488 --> 00:24:08,603
Whatever, nigga.

478
00:24:08,697 --> 00:24:11,404
"I believe in the fly club,
its traditions and its ideals.

479
00:24:11,492 --> 00:24:15,155
“I believe in the..." Excuse me.
Do you have to play that so loud?

480
00:24:15,245 --> 00:24:16,556
I'm trying to study
my pledge book.

481
00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:18,787
This niggaz with attitude.

482
00:24:18,874 --> 00:24:22,958
If you smart, you tell people you love
nwa. They think you cool.

483
00:24:26,507 --> 00:24:28,668
Why you wear smelly eggs?

484
00:24:28,759 --> 00:24:30,750
These eggs are a part of
my pledging.

485
00:24:30,844 --> 00:24:33,677
I am getting thousands
of lifetime connections here.

486
00:24:33,764 --> 00:24:35,504
I'm gonna be a part
of a fraternity.

487
00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:38,799
What's up? What's up?

488
00:24:38,894 --> 00:24:40,134
Oh, god!

489
00:24:40,229 --> 00:24:42,515
One glove, my brothers!

490
00:24:43,524 --> 00:24:45,810
I am tuan, child prodigy.

491
00:24:45,901 --> 00:24:48,688
Well, I'm Jamal, a pothead.

492
00:24:49,071 --> 00:24:51,187
Silas, entrepre-neqro.

493
00:24:51,281 --> 00:24:52,691
Jamal!

494
00:24:54,368 --> 00:24:56,404
- Fresh gear, man!
- You like?

495
00:24:56,495 --> 00:24:59,987
- Yeah!
- I designed it myself. I call it "bufu."

496
00:25:00,082 --> 00:25:01,242
Bufu.

497
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:03,073
Oh, no. Not you two!

498
00:25:03,794 --> 00:25:07,161
Fake-ass Paul bunyan
plaid-pussy-shirt-wearing man,

499
00:25:07,256 --> 00:25:08,996
I'll fuck your ass up. Shut up.

500
00:25:09,091 --> 00:25:12,254
Okay, but if you two
are our roommates, who's that?

501
00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:15,549
That's I need money! Goddamn!

502
00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:20,553
Okay, but what's his name?

503
00:25:21,562 --> 00:25:24,554
I need money!

504
00:25:27,317 --> 00:25:28,932
Doesn't talk. How come he?

505
00:25:29,028 --> 00:25:31,064
I need money, he's a mute.

506
00:25:31,155 --> 00:25:35,489
When we first hooked up, he wrote
on a slip of paper "ll need money."

507
00:25:35,576 --> 00:25:37,487
I said, "shit! Me, too."

508
00:25:37,578 --> 00:25:40,490
We started making it
together after that.

509
00:25:40,581 --> 00:25:41,696
Where he staying?

510
00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:43,246
Harvard.

511
00:25:43,333 --> 00:25:48,043
Lovell house.
Second floor, right on the couch.

512
00:25:48,130 --> 00:25:51,497
But he's smoking
in our room. That's not legal.

513
00:25:51,592 --> 00:25:55,050
Just be cool and
you might have some fun this semester.

514
00:25:55,137 --> 00:25:56,172
Stupid.

515
00:25:57,723 --> 00:25:59,259
Nwa?

516
00:25:59,725 --> 00:26:01,556
Kid, what do you know
about that?

517
00:26:01,643 --> 00:26:04,134
Yeah, yeah. I love
niggaz with attitude.

518
00:26:06,148 --> 00:26:08,764
Nobody, I repeat, nobody,

519
00:26:08,859 --> 00:26:10,190
drops the n-bomb up in here.

520
00:26:10,277 --> 00:26:11,312
Nobody.

521
00:26:11,403 --> 00:26:12,563
That go for you, too.

522
00:26:12,654 --> 00:26:15,521
Hey, I am down with you, man.

523
00:26:15,616 --> 00:26:19,074
You east coast,
I far east coast.

524
00:26:19,453 --> 00:26:20,613
I'm from Wisconsin.

525
00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:23,658
Yo, fresh and funky.

526
00:26:23,749 --> 00:26:27,617
Dean Cain wants to
see you in his office. Don't be late.

527
00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:32,500
Gentlemen, this institution
has graduated

528
00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:38,507
countless fortune 500 ceo's,
41 nobel laureates, and six presidents.

529
00:26:38,597 --> 00:26:39,928
Jamal: Hey, Dean,

530
00:26:40,474 --> 00:26:43,511
where's all them fly-ass women
the chancellor was talking about?

531
00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:46,639
I mean, so far,
I only seen some stuck-up,

532
00:26:47,481 --> 00:26:49,563
nerdy-ass-looking women
out there.

533
00:27:01,411 --> 00:27:02,947
You were dropping cheetos

534
00:27:03,038 --> 00:27:07,577
on an original 18th-century,
hand-woven tapestry!

535
00:27:08,043 --> 00:27:09,533
You mean, this carpet?

536
00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:11,789
This is out of my
personal collection.

537
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,292
I got this in
my travels to Nepal!

538
00:27:14,383 --> 00:27:16,965
Man, I know the bitch that makes
these rugs. You know wynena.

539
00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:18,542
Yeah, I remember that bitch.

540
00:27:18,637 --> 00:27:20,673
[T means the world to me!

541
00:27:20,764 --> 00:27:26,350
Now, as I was saying, here at
Harvard, we have very high standards.

542
00:27:26,436 --> 00:27:28,722
Any student on a scholarship

543
00:27:28,814 --> 00:27:33,558
must maintain at least
a 2.0 average, or you will be expelled.

544
00:27:33,652 --> 00:27:36,439
It's good to know
we have the support of the faculty, Dean.

545
00:27:36,530 --> 00:27:39,192
And don't you worry.
Me and Jamal here...

546
00:27:39,283 --> 00:27:40,739
We're all about good grades.

547
00:27:40,826 --> 00:27:42,316
Is that right, Mr. king?

548
00:27:42,411 --> 00:27:46,245
Hell, motherfucker...
I mean, yes, sir, Dean Cain, sir.

549
00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:09,176
Now, how is carbon dioxide
changed into oxygen?

550
00:28:09,271 --> 00:28:10,511
Silas: Plants, dick!

551
00:28:10,606 --> 00:28:11,937
God! You guys!

552
00:28:14,693 --> 00:28:17,230
Jamal, Jamal, Jamal.

553
00:28:17,321 --> 00:28:18,686
Sleepyhead, wake up!

554
00:28:24,578 --> 00:28:26,694
I got something for your ass.

555
00:29:14,086 --> 00:29:17,749
Come on, gentlemen! Pick it up,
if you want to be part of this squad!

556
00:29:19,925 --> 00:29:21,290
Taxi!

557
00:29:25,222 --> 00:29:27,634
Whew! What took you guys
so long?

558
00:29:27,724 --> 00:29:30,761
Coach, I have not lost
an oar run in three years.

559
00:29:31,228 --> 00:29:32,718
I'm wondering
if this guy cheated.

560
00:29:32,813 --> 00:29:35,145
Cheated? Man, fuck you!

561
00:29:35,232 --> 00:29:38,690
Why is fucking dick butt-kiss
over here always riding me?

562
00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:41,689
Dick butt-kiss?
Did you hear that, coach? He's cursing!

563
00:29:41,780 --> 00:29:44,271
Bart, I think you better
go open up the boathouse.

564
00:29:44,366 --> 00:29:45,731
- But, coach!
- Bart!

565
00:29:45,826 --> 00:29:47,782
I don't think
you want to see this.

566
00:29:48,912 --> 00:29:50,777
You, here.

567
00:29:51,540 --> 00:29:53,781
Come here. Come here!

568
00:29:56,920 --> 00:30:01,710
Nice comeback on the dick
butt-kiss. I wish I could have said that.

569
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,720
His parents have been driving me crazy,
making my life a misery for years,

570
00:30:04,803 --> 00:30:06,714
but they give lots of money
to the university.

571
00:30:06,805 --> 00:30:08,670
I have to go to those
lousy cocktail parties.

572
00:30:08,765 --> 00:30:11,723
She has lousy perfume,
and he has a lousy toupee.

573
00:30:11,810 --> 00:30:14,722
Anyway, you keep
throwing zingers to this jerk-off,

574
00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:17,054
and you're gonna
make the team, son.

575
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,733
And let that be a lesson to you!
This is the last time!

576
00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:24,778
All right, rookies,
pushups! Get down!

577
00:30:27,784 --> 00:30:29,524
Yo, yo, yo, what's up
with the fast stroll?

578
00:30:29,619 --> 00:30:30,825
Can I holler?

579
00:30:30,912 --> 00:30:31,947
Hi

580
00:30:32,706 --> 00:30:33,912
Professor: The role played

581
00:30:33,999 --> 00:30:37,491
by the African Americans
in the history of this country

582
00:30:37,586 --> 00:30:39,326
has heen largely unnoticed.

583
00:30:39,796 --> 00:30:43,709
Of course, history is the record
of an account of the past,

584
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:47,338
but the issue here is,
who is recording the account?

585
00:30:47,429 --> 00:30:52,594
If it's snowflake,
whitey, paleface, peckerwoods, cracker.

586
00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:55,721
Well, we got Cleopatra
looking like Elizabeth Taylor,

587
00:30:55,812 --> 00:30:58,303
Jesus looks like a hippie
in a dashiki.

588
00:30:58,398 --> 00:31:00,184
But if it's one of
my proud black people

589
00:31:00,275 --> 00:31:01,731
doing the recording
of the account...

590
00:31:01,818 --> 00:31:03,058
Yo, Silas!

591
00:31:03,820 --> 00:31:08,189
Well, we might have Moses looking
like this fine black man, right here.

592
00:31:08,825 --> 00:31:10,611
But black people
don't get any credit.

593
00:31:10,702 --> 00:31:12,738
I'm sore as a motherfucker, man.

594
00:31:12,829 --> 00:31:16,367
Who invented
the air conditioner? A black man.

595
00:31:16,458 --> 00:31:17,823
What's up, dogs?

596
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:22,578
Yo, son, I'm sore as a bitch in here, man.
And you know what else?

597
00:31:22,672 --> 00:31:25,709
I'm gonna have to knock
that Bart character the fuck out.

598
00:31:25,801 --> 00:31:27,792
Once again, a black man.

599
00:31:27,886 --> 00:31:29,501
Can't this wait
till after class?

600
00:31:29,596 --> 00:31:30,948
You're supposed to be
in here anyway.

601
00:31:30,972 --> 00:31:33,384
This is black history.

602
00:31:33,475 --> 00:31:34,885
Black history?

603
00:31:34,976 --> 00:31:38,764
It look like all the black students
that was in here are history, nigga.

604
00:31:39,856 --> 00:31:41,767
You telling me to "shh"?
See what I mean?

605
00:31:41,858 --> 00:31:42,858
Fuck history.

606
00:31:42,943 --> 00:31:44,063
Professor: Oh, that's right.

607
00:31:44,111 --> 00:31:45,942
- Fuck history.
- Yeah, fuck history.

608
00:31:46,029 --> 00:31:48,771
Mr. Moses, I expect
you'll be ready for your quiz tomorrow.

609
00:31:48,865 --> 00:31:49,865
Jamal: Quiz, my ass!

610
00:31:49,908 --> 00:31:53,446
A white man teaching black history,
anyway, that's some bullshit.

611
00:31:53,537 --> 00:31:56,779
I'm going to lunch
and take a nice long shit.

612
00:31:56,873 --> 00:32:00,536
That's the kind of attitude
I like to hear. And where are you going?

613
00:32:01,753 --> 00:32:05,541
We didn't land on Plymouth rock.
Plymouth rock landed on us.

614
00:32:05,632 --> 00:32:08,544
Ooh, all right! Malcolm X!

615
00:32:08,635 --> 00:32:11,864
Well, I'm glad someone's appreciating the
knowledge I'm trying to drop on you today.

616
00:32:11,888 --> 00:32:14,800
What about you two? Why don't you
walk out in protest with your brothers?

617
00:32:14,891 --> 00:32:17,803
Walk out on me! What are you doing
sitting there? You look like whitey.

618
00:32:17,894 --> 00:32:21,762
You look like a couple
of goddamn uncle Toms! Walk on out!

619
00:32:21,857 --> 00:32:24,018
That's right,
get up and move! You should lynch me!

620
00:32:24,109 --> 00:32:26,942
Lynch me, lynch me for what my people
have done to your people.

621
00:32:27,028 --> 00:32:29,940
"Stand up for your rights!”
move on up! Move on up!

622
00:32:43,295 --> 00:32:44,660
Go, go, go.

623
00:32:46,882 --> 00:32:48,042
Hey, what's up?

624
00:32:48,717 --> 00:32:50,253
Stop!

625
00:32:54,055 --> 00:32:55,841
Hey, what's going on here?

626
00:32:55,932 --> 00:32:59,390
He stole my baby! Stop!

627
00:32:59,936 --> 00:33:01,801
Bring my baby back!

628
00:33:02,314 --> 00:33:04,179
Not my baby! Oh, god!

629
00:33:04,274 --> 00:33:06,014
Oh, please, god!

630
00:33:14,576 --> 00:33:16,988
Oh, my god! My wheels!

631
00:33:19,706 --> 00:33:23,244
Oh, my horn! Please, don't back up!
Please, don't back up!

632
00:33:23,335 --> 00:33:25,326
Hey, you! Where's elm and third?

633
00:33:25,420 --> 00:33:26,956
What?

634
00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:30,588
Not forward!

635
00:33:35,347 --> 00:33:36,757
That's not yours!

636
00:33:36,848 --> 00:33:38,008
Look at these, bro!

637
00:33:38,099 --> 00:33:42,138
No, don't put them in...
Oh, my baby!

638
00:33:47,192 --> 00:33:50,480
Can anyone tell me
the name of this plant? Bart?

639
00:33:51,530 --> 00:33:54,021
Oh, yeah.
It's a hanging rubber plant.

640
00:33:54,115 --> 00:33:57,778
It's indigenous to the wet drylands
of the northern hemisphere.

641
00:33:57,869 --> 00:34:00,702
Yeah, right, Bart.
Would you bet money on that?

642
00:34:00,789 --> 00:34:02,905
Or is that below
the "dooster principle"?

643
00:34:02,999 --> 00:34:06,457
Yeah, I'll bet on it.
How about an SUV? I got three of them.

644
00:34:07,003 --> 00:34:10,040
And the survey says, "you lose."

645
00:34:10,131 --> 00:34:11,621
It's a neem plant, professor.

646
00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:15,925
Oui, it is, but how did you know that,
Silas?

647
00:34:16,012 --> 00:34:17,968
I had this nasty-ass rash once.

648
00:34:18,056 --> 00:34:21,048
Put a little neem plant on it,
cleared it up in an hour.

649
00:34:21,142 --> 00:34:22,598
I even smoked it before.

650
00:34:22,686 --> 00:34:24,096
Well, that figures.

651
00:34:24,187 --> 00:34:28,226
One thing it doesn't
cure, though, being a spoiled little bitch.

652
00:34:28,316 --> 00:34:31,433
Professor: I'd like you all to
do an experiment on a plant,

653
00:34:31,528 --> 00:34:34,895
something that may
benefit mankind.

654
00:34:34,990 --> 00:34:37,697
If you devise
something groundbreaking,

655
00:34:37,784 --> 00:34:40,025
I guarantee you
an "a" in this course.

656
00:34:41,538 --> 00:34:42,903
Class dismissed.

657
00:34:42,998 --> 00:34:44,909
- Good work, everyone.
- Thank you.

658
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,536
Keep up the good work.

659
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:49,167
Lauren:
So he likes plants, does he?

660
00:34:49,254 --> 00:34:51,085
I see still waters run deep.

661
00:34:51,172 --> 00:34:52,503
Please believe.

662
00:34:52,591 --> 00:34:54,798
But wait till you
see my presentation.

663
00:34:54,884 --> 00:34:57,296
You're gonna love me after that.

664
00:34:57,387 --> 00:35:00,925
50, Lauren, you might
as well tell him now and get it over with.

665
00:35:01,016 --> 00:35:02,016
What?

666
00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:03,327
You know. How you said
you're starting

667
00:35:03,351 --> 00:35:05,592
to see Bart for
the shallow bastard that he is

668
00:35:05,687 --> 00:35:08,303
and, eventually,
you're gonna leave his ass for me.

669
00:35:08,398 --> 00:35:09,558
Holler.

670
00:35:16,031 --> 00:35:18,693
This semester
in women's studies, we will discuss

671
00:35:18,783 --> 00:35:21,900
how women are objectified
in popular culture,

672
00:35:21,995 --> 00:35:25,954
while the masculine bastards
exploit women's ideas for great profit,

673
00:35:26,041 --> 00:35:29,659
then take all the credit. Jamal!

674
00:35:31,004 --> 00:35:33,495
You have the most amazing

675
00:35:33,923 --> 00:35:35,379
penis.

676
00:35:35,925 --> 00:35:37,040
Yes, I do.

677
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:48,680
Hell, yeah.

678
00:35:49,606 --> 00:35:52,063
So, you're playing
grabby-ass again, huh?

679
00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:53,150
Ma!

680
00:35:53,234 --> 00:35:54,724
Did you wash your ass today?

681
00:35:56,071 --> 00:35:58,278
Damn, ma! Stop, ma!

682
00:36:04,829 --> 00:36:05,864
Silas: You high yet?

683
00:36:05,955 --> 00:36:07,642
Jamal: I don't know, man.
Maybe not high enough.

684
00:36:07,666 --> 00:36:09,122
Where the hell is he?

685
00:36:11,044 --> 00:36:12,375
Maybe I didn't
hit it hard enough.

686
00:36:12,462 --> 00:36:16,080
What are you doing in there?
Dropping your kids off at the pool?

687
00:36:17,467 --> 00:36:19,048
Oh, shit.

688
00:36:20,053 --> 00:36:22,135
Hey, what's up, j? Give me five.

689
00:36:22,222 --> 00:36:23,587
Yo, I hate it when you do that.

690
00:36:23,682 --> 00:36:25,263
I love that funny shit.

691
00:36:25,350 --> 00:36:27,215
What took you so long, man?

692
00:36:27,310 --> 00:36:30,017
Biggie and 'pac,
they throwing a party.

693
00:36:30,105 --> 00:36:33,597
Open bar all night, man.
Everything was cool, man,

694
00:36:33,692 --> 00:36:36,024
till Marvin gaye
came in there tripping.

695
00:36:36,111 --> 00:36:37,851
- Marvin gaye?
- Yeah.

696
00:36:37,946 --> 00:36:40,653
Listen, man, we got a test
in about five minutes.

697
00:36:40,740 --> 00:36:41,775
Word.

698
00:36:41,866 --> 00:36:45,096
What's that got to do with me, baby? I know
you're ready, I know you studied for it.

699
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:46,280
Ready? We ain't studied...

700
00:36:46,371 --> 00:36:47,406
Come on.

701
00:36:47,497 --> 00:36:49,033
You have a golden
opportunity here

702
00:36:49,124 --> 00:36:51,456
to make something of yourself,
and you throwing it away?

703
00:36:51,543 --> 00:36:53,104
It's time for you
to learn a lesson, dog.

704
00:36:53,128 --> 00:36:54,038
Come on, ive.

705
00:36:54,129 --> 00:36:55,994
- I'm out, man.
- Lvel!

706
00:36:56,089 --> 00:36:58,205
- Don't play!
- Yo, talk to your boy, man.

707
00:36:58,299 --> 00:37:00,585
Why you wanna tell him
we ain't studied for the test?

708
00:37:00,677 --> 00:37:01,917
Damn all that!

709
00:37:02,011 --> 00:37:03,280
Jamal: You should've
thought about all that...

710
00:37:03,304 --> 00:37:05,295
What's up!

711
00:37:05,390 --> 00:37:07,597
I was just fucking
with you, man.

712
00:37:07,684 --> 00:37:08,684
Come on, son.

713
00:37:08,768 --> 00:37:10,053
This is some good shit.

714
00:37:10,145 --> 00:37:12,101
You know you my boy, man.

715
00:37:13,106 --> 00:37:15,472
"Gc," Silas.
Come on, man. The Portuguese.

716
00:37:16,401 --> 00:37:17,937
1863. That's "b."

717
00:37:18,611 --> 00:37:20,522
J, what are you doing? 1961.

718
00:37:20,613 --> 00:37:21,693
Jamal: "B"?

719
00:37:21,781 --> 00:37:23,521
Trust me. I got all the answers.

720
00:37:23,616 --> 00:37:25,402
You just told me that answer.

721
00:37:25,493 --> 00:37:27,700
"A," French.
Definitely the French.

722
00:37:40,425 --> 00:37:44,213
Goddamn virgins.
At least y'all being entertained.

723
00:37:44,304 --> 00:37:47,842
I ain't seen a stitch of pussy
on this whole campus.

724
00:37:48,391 --> 00:37:51,349
The chickens are not
clucking around here.

725
00:37:54,063 --> 00:37:55,553
You've come to the right place.

726
00:37:55,648 --> 00:37:58,060
I've been an undergrad
for 12 years.

727
00:37:58,151 --> 00:38:01,439
I know everything
there is to know about Ivy league women.

728
00:38:01,529 --> 00:38:04,111
Twelve years? Damn, kid.

729
00:38:04,199 --> 00:38:06,110
Your people paying
for all this shit?

730
00:38:10,997 --> 00:38:13,363
Hooking up with Harvard women.

731
00:38:13,458 --> 00:38:17,667
Short ones, tall ones,
skinny ones, chunky ones.

732
00:38:17,754 --> 00:38:22,168
Man, I'd love me a fat chick,
man. More cushion for the pushing.

733
00:38:22,634 --> 00:38:27,094
Yes. I want "to boldly go
where no man has gone before."

734
00:38:27,180 --> 00:38:28,545
I am an explorer.

735
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:32,224
I see you are very much
liking to explore stds, also, my friend.

736
00:38:33,061 --> 00:38:35,894
That shit on your lip,
got some shit on its lip, dog.

737
00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:39,723
Is that why no puff-puff?
Pass the dutchy, my friends.

738
00:38:39,818 --> 00:38:41,979
This is nothing!
I cut myself shaving.

739
00:38:42,070 --> 00:38:43,480
Yeah, whatever.

740
00:38:43,947 --> 00:38:45,938
We need to start
importing some hos.

741
00:38:46,032 --> 00:38:48,774
Woman: Molly, get in here!
You have to see this!

742
00:38:49,577 --> 00:38:51,488
Oh, my!

743
00:38:51,579 --> 00:38:53,570
Look at those muscles!

744
00:38:53,665 --> 00:38:55,121
He is quite attractive.

745
00:38:55,208 --> 00:38:56,208
Molly: Indeed.

746
00:38:56,292 --> 00:38:58,499
I think there's some freak
in those geeks.

747
00:39:00,964 --> 00:39:03,125
- Yeah!
- Here you qo.

748
00:39:03,216 --> 00:39:04,216
Ooh!

749
00:39:04,801 --> 00:39:07,543
Don't get the wrong idea.
We've never done anything like this before.

750
00:39:08,012 --> 00:39:09,172
We're virgins.

751
00:39:09,264 --> 00:39:11,846
Virgins? No, you're not.

752
00:39:12,225 --> 00:39:13,590
Yes, we are.

753
00:39:15,645 --> 00:39:17,601
Silas and Jamal: No, no, no.

754
00:39:18,189 --> 00:39:20,145
Girls: Yes, yes, yes.

755
00:39:20,233 --> 00:39:21,894
No, no, no!

756
00:39:21,985 --> 00:39:23,896
Yes, yes, yes!

757
00:39:34,247 --> 00:39:36,238
Man: Hey, bro, you got change
for a twenty?

758
00:39:49,262 --> 00:39:50,923
History!

759
00:39:51,014 --> 00:39:52,675
Got an "a plus,” my nigga.

760
00:39:55,643 --> 00:39:57,258
Who is that?

761
00:39:57,645 --> 00:39:59,727
That is all me, g.

762
00:39:59,814 --> 00:40:01,645
That's the vice president's
daughter,

763
00:40:01,733 --> 00:40:04,349
as in vice president
of the United States.

764
00:40:04,444 --> 00:40:07,311
What? Jamal, you don't want that.
Them girls only know three words,

765
00:40:07,405 --> 00:40:09,441
stop, no and don't.

766
00:40:09,532 --> 00:40:11,944
Uh-uh, my brother.
You got those words backwards.

767
00:40:12,035 --> 00:40:15,152
They always tell me,
“no, don't stop!"

768
00:40:15,246 --> 00:40:16,246
Excuse me.

769
00:40:16,289 --> 00:40:17,529
Player, player.

770
00:40:19,292 --> 00:40:22,250
I'm about to tear
this ass up right here.

771
00:40:49,322 --> 00:40:52,405
Sorry, sir. Jamie's not
accepting any male callers at this time.

772
00:40:52,492 --> 00:40:54,983
Man, I ain't calling.
['M right here.

773
00:40:55,078 --> 00:40:56,363
Cedric, step aside.

774
00:40:58,206 --> 00:40:59,662
Whoo-wee!

775
00:41:02,126 --> 00:41:03,241
What's your name?

776
00:41:03,336 --> 00:41:04,336
I'm Jamal.

777
00:41:04,379 --> 00:41:06,370
You ever been arrested, Jamal?

778
00:41:06,464 --> 00:41:07,579
Uh... no.

779
00:41:07,674 --> 00:41:10,861
Ever busted up your mother's house and then
slapped her when she asked you about it?

780
00:41:10,885 --> 00:41:13,001
Hell, no! You crazy?

781
00:41:13,096 --> 00:41:14,461
You ain't my type.

782
00:41:15,181 --> 00:41:17,263
Wait a minute!

783
00:41:17,350 --> 00:41:18,635
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

784
00:41:19,310 --> 00:41:22,268
I once got arrested
for stealing a car one time,

785
00:41:22,355 --> 00:41:24,266
but my mother
dropped the charges.

786
00:41:24,357 --> 00:41:27,599
Well, it's not a felony,
but maybe we can work with that.

787
00:41:36,369 --> 00:41:37,609
Yo!

788
00:41:38,997 --> 00:41:41,079
- I didn't mean to scare you.
- Um...

789
00:41:41,165 --> 00:41:42,280
Canlcomein?

790
00:41:42,375 --> 00:41:43,410
Sure, come on in.

791
00:41:45,837 --> 00:41:49,000
Move my things.
There you go. You can sit there.

792
00:41:50,008 --> 00:41:52,374
Thank you. How very thoughtful.

793
00:41:55,263 --> 00:41:56,463
You'll have to pardon my desk.

794
00:41:56,514 --> 00:42:00,223
I've got a lot of
artifacts and delicate things down here.

795
00:42:01,394 --> 00:42:03,555
What's this shit? Looks old.

796
00:42:03,646 --> 00:42:05,056
Oh, it is old.

797
00:42:05,148 --> 00:42:06,763
It's over 200 years old.

798
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:10,062
I sort of discovered it.

799
00:42:10,153 --> 00:42:12,235
You discovered
all this crazy shit.

800
00:42:12,321 --> 00:42:14,107
You're a straight-up
genius, girl.

801
00:42:16,743 --> 00:42:18,904
Well, I don't know
about all that.

802
00:42:19,579 --> 00:42:22,571
I do know it's Ben Franklin's.
[ Just don't know what it is.

803
00:42:22,665 --> 00:42:27,034
But I was thinking that
it could be this old revolutionary Cannon,

804
00:42:27,128 --> 00:42:29,619
or a telescope, or...

805
00:42:29,714 --> 00:42:32,126
Whatever it is,
this shit is hot.

806
00:42:33,051 --> 00:42:34,291
Let me ask you something.

807
00:42:34,385 --> 00:42:35,716
Yeah.

808
00:42:36,512 --> 00:42:39,299
How'd you hook up
with that Bart dude?

809
00:42:39,390 --> 00:42:41,381
I've known Bart all my life,

810
00:42:42,393 --> 00:42:45,635
and if it weren't for his family,
I probably wouldn't be here.

811
00:42:46,189 --> 00:42:48,771
Isn't that sweet?

812
00:42:50,568 --> 00:42:53,401
Look, you got
a little something on your dress.

813
00:42:54,363 --> 00:42:55,398
My eyes.

814
00:42:56,199 --> 00:42:57,199
Ahal

815
00:42:58,367 --> 00:43:01,951
Bart, honey, sweetie,
you are just in time,

816
00:43:02,038 --> 00:43:04,324
because I've just
finished studying.

817
00:43:04,415 --> 00:43:05,746
Studying? “Yeah.

818
00:43:05,833 --> 00:43:08,324
I didn't know the two of you
were studying in here,

819
00:43:08,419 --> 00:43:13,209
alone, with the lights dimmed,
drinking beer!

820
00:43:14,383 --> 00:43:17,796
Look Silas, I know what you're trying to
do, okay? You're trying to "frick" her!

821
00:43:20,473 --> 00:43:26,639
Whatever, Bart-kowski. Listen, I was
just admiring your girl's thing.

822
00:43:27,563 --> 00:43:30,145
Oh, well, I guess
I should say thanks.

823
00:43:30,233 --> 00:43:31,518
This is a part of history, man.

824
00:43:31,609 --> 00:43:34,396
Your girl is doing something
I think you need to recognize.

825
00:43:34,487 --> 00:43:36,227
Yeah? So?

826
00:43:36,656 --> 00:43:38,146
Listen, I'm out.

827
00:43:38,241 --> 00:43:41,904
Maybe next time
I'll get to study with you. Peace.

828
00:43:41,994 --> 00:43:44,827
"Peace" is meant to explain
a state of tranquility.

829
00:43:44,914 --> 00:43:47,634
S50 why don't you try thinking
of another way to say goodbye now that

830
00:43:47,667 --> 00:43:49,373
you're amongst civilized people?

831
00:43:49,460 --> 00:43:53,920
Well, Mr. civilized,
"peace" can also be used interjectionally

832
00:43:54,006 --> 00:43:56,497
as a request,
greeting or farewell.

833
00:43:57,093 --> 00:43:59,675
So try to find another way
to be an asshole,

834
00:43:59,762 --> 00:44:01,923
if you don't know
your grammar, that is.

835
00:44:02,014 --> 00:44:03,379
Peace.

836
00:44:06,477 --> 00:44:07,512
Okay, Bart.

837
00:44:08,521 --> 00:44:10,853
God! Can I get my stuff?

838
00:44:11,774 --> 00:44:13,230
Sheesh.

839
00:44:14,610 --> 00:44:15,850
Silas: Yes.

840
00:44:16,654 --> 00:44:18,645
It was near the medical library.

841
00:44:19,240 --> 00:44:22,983
I think they said
it was one of those tick-tocky, blow-uppy,

842
00:44:23,077 --> 00:44:26,035
exploding-thingy,
pipe bomb thing-things.

843
00:44:26,122 --> 00:44:27,953
Yeah. Yeah.

844
00:44:28,499 --> 00:44:30,785
Thank you. You, too.

845
00:44:30,877 --> 00:44:33,243
All righty. Bye.

846
00:44:39,844 --> 00:44:41,835
Silas:
"Dooster principle," my ass.

847
00:44:48,519 --> 00:44:50,959
Jamal: Man, my grandmother
would love this shit in her garden.

848
00:44:52,523 --> 00:44:54,354
Outta here.

849
00:44:57,153 --> 00:44:58,859
Silas: Locked on, boys.

850
00:45:02,116 --> 00:45:03,356
Yee-hah!

851
00:45:06,913 --> 00:45:09,120
Silas: Timber!

852
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:14,208
That statue was priceless.
It means everything to our family.

853
00:45:14,295 --> 00:45:16,877
Will you stop
your damn sniveling, son?

854
00:45:16,964 --> 00:45:19,000
Buck up, Bart! Buck up!

855
00:45:19,717 --> 00:45:23,505
Yo. Do you think they gonna find
out we stole the dooster statue?

856
00:45:23,596 --> 00:45:25,336
Silas: Hell, no.

857
00:45:25,431 --> 00:45:27,092
Oh, my god! I knew it.

858
00:45:27,183 --> 00:45:28,969
You guys stole the dooster!

859
00:45:29,060 --> 00:45:30,060
They do what?

860
00:45:30,144 --> 00:45:32,635
Fellas, it's time
we all sat down and kicked it.

861
00:45:32,730 --> 00:45:34,311
No, no, no.
I'm not kicking anything.

862
00:45:34,398 --> 00:45:37,765
I have a pledge meeting to go to
and I still haven't greased myself up.

863
00:45:38,486 --> 00:45:40,477
God, I just don't get you guys.

864
00:45:40,571 --> 00:45:43,734
There's a lot of
things in life your ass just don't get.

865
00:45:43,824 --> 00:45:46,566
Yeah, like pussy and respect.

866
00:45:48,371 --> 00:45:50,236
I heard that.

867
00:45:54,126 --> 00:45:59,246
See, the system is geared to put most
of the wealth into the hands of a few.

868
00:45:59,340 --> 00:46:01,422
Rich weapons, poor schooling.

869
00:46:02,593 --> 00:46:04,049
Yeah, that's for sure.

870
00:46:04,136 --> 00:46:05,376
Yeah, for sure.

871
00:46:05,471 --> 00:46:08,391
Y'all don't know shit. I'm gonna
learns you, though. I'm gonna learns you.

872
00:46:10,810 --> 00:46:14,553
Dwarves, midgets,
motherfucking unicorns.

873
00:46:15,314 --> 00:46:18,272
Motherfuckers
don't want to see a black man make it.

874
00:46:18,359 --> 00:46:19,895
- Yeah.
- Know what I mean?

875
00:46:19,986 --> 00:46:21,192
For sure.

876
00:46:21,946 --> 00:46:24,187
I'll tell you something else.

877
00:46:34,333 --> 00:46:35,573
For sure.

878
00:46:43,175 --> 00:46:46,508
Word up, young mc. You're just in
time to help cheer us to victory.

879
00:46:46,595 --> 00:46:48,176
Young mc!

880
00:46:48,597 --> 00:46:51,054
Bart, you know, I think you keep getting
funnier every day.

881
00:46:51,142 --> 00:46:53,975
You ain't gonna be laughing
in a minute, motherfucker.

882
00:46:54,562 --> 00:46:58,475
Bart, I've decided since
you and Jamal are my two best athletes,

883
00:46:58,566 --> 00:47:00,773
I want you up against Yale.

884
00:47:00,860 --> 00:47:03,522
You can't just change
the line-up! That's against the rules!

885
00:47:03,612 --> 00:47:06,479
What rules? Who cares?
Do you guys care about the rules?

886
00:47:06,574 --> 00:47:07,939
- All: No.
- There you go.

887
00:47:09,285 --> 00:47:10,470
Announcer:
In the far Lane, we have Yale.

888
00:47:10,494 --> 00:47:12,530
In the near Lane,
we have Harvard.

889
00:47:12,621 --> 00:47:14,486
On your Mark, get set,

890
00:47:16,208 --> 00:47:19,166
and they're off!
It's a clean start.

891
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:23,542
What are you doing,
hip-hop hooray? Paddle!

892
00:47:23,632 --> 00:47:27,545
Paddle like a man!
Shoot the j! Get jiggy with it. Something.

893
00:47:27,636 --> 00:47:30,423
They're blowing Harvard's ass
out of the water.

894
00:47:30,973 --> 00:47:35,558
Jamal, what is your ass doing rowing a
boat? You supposed to be in class.

895
00:47:35,644 --> 00:47:37,350
Who the hell is
that woman in the sky?

896
00:47:37,438 --> 00:47:38,518
I don't know.

897
00:47:38,606 --> 00:47:41,769
What's the matter?
You been smoking too much ganja, huh?

898
00:47:41,859 --> 00:47:43,190
Bart: She's huge!

899
00:47:43,277 --> 00:47:46,565
Well, I guess you might as well
come back home and live with me.

900
00:47:46,655 --> 00:47:47,895
Oh, hell, no!

901
00:47:47,990 --> 00:47:49,150
Did you cuss at me?

902
00:47:49,241 --> 00:47:51,402
Row, motherfucker, row!

903
00:47:53,204 --> 00:47:55,911
Yes, Dean Cain.
Am I to believe this is correct?

904
00:47:55,998 --> 00:47:58,865
Jamal and Silas
have gotten all "a's"?

905
00:48:05,758 --> 00:48:07,339
I'll call you hack.

906
00:48:07,968 --> 00:48:11,381
How you doing, Dean?
How you doing? How you been?

907
00:48:12,681 --> 00:48:14,888
I see you're
checking out my gear, eh?

908
00:48:14,975 --> 00:48:16,260
Pretty tight, right?

909
00:48:16,352 --> 00:48:18,263
No, actually, it's rather baggy.

910
00:48:18,354 --> 00:48:20,595
No, man.
It's phat, dope, cool. It's bufu, man.

911
00:48:20,689 --> 00:48:22,179
Bill, what has happened to you?

912
00:48:22,274 --> 00:48:23,855
Sit down and take off
those glasses.

913
00:48:23,943 --> 00:48:25,308
All righty.

914
00:48:27,863 --> 00:48:29,603
Tell me, how is Jamal doing?

915
00:48:29,698 --> 00:48:31,609
Oh, fine, very well.
Yeah, he's coming along.

916
00:48:31,700 --> 00:48:35,534
Now listen, Jamie's father
is having an upcoming election,

917
00:48:35,621 --> 00:48:39,830
and it won't look good if she was to be
involved with someone from the lower class.

918
00:48:39,917 --> 00:48:41,703
Isn't Jamie a freshman?

919
00:48:42,962 --> 00:48:45,624
All right, so you want me to tell Jamal
to stop seeing Jamie?

920
00:48:45,714 --> 00:48:47,567
I could do that,
but he'll just tell me, “hey, man..."

921
00:48:47,591 --> 00:48:50,207
Fuck you. Fuck you! Fuck you!

922
00:48:50,594 --> 00:48:54,507
Point well taken.
I need you to help me get proof

923
00:48:54,598 --> 00:48:56,805
that Jamal is diddling Jamie.

924
00:48:56,892 --> 00:49:01,431
Oh, I see now, yes.
[T's all good, yeah.

925
00:49:01,522 --> 00:49:04,013
I'll go holler at him, son.
Oh, yeah.

926
00:49:04,567 --> 00:49:08,059
Bill, did you
just call me "son"?

927
00:49:08,737 --> 00:49:09,943
Word.

928
00:49:11,991 --> 00:49:13,026
"Word"?

929
00:49:13,909 --> 00:49:16,150
Jamal: Stroke, smoke.

930
00:49:16,245 --> 00:49:18,076
Stroke, smoke.

931
00:49:18,164 --> 00:49:20,530
- Bill: Good.
- Stroke, smoke.

932
00:49:21,250 --> 00:49:24,742
Stroke, smoke. Stroke, smoke.

933
00:49:25,754 --> 00:49:28,712
If Dean Cain think
he can kick me out the school that easy,

934
00:49:28,799 --> 00:49:30,414
he got another thing coming.

935
00:49:30,509 --> 00:49:31,669
What an asshole.

936
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:34,046
Hey coach, thanks a lot, man.
I owe you.

937
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:35,680
Jamie: Ooh!

938
00:49:35,764 --> 00:49:40,098
Listen, Jamie.
Me and you cannot see each other no more.

939
00:49:40,186 --> 00:49:42,177
No more dating,
no more fooling around.

940
00:49:42,271 --> 00:49:44,478
None of that. Stop. That's it.

941
00:49:44,565 --> 00:49:48,649
Yes, it's probably
better if we stop seeing each other,

942
00:49:48,736 --> 00:49:51,694
for the sake of
my father's campaign.

943
00:49:51,780 --> 00:49:54,613
If he lost the election
and it was my fault,

944
00:49:54,992 --> 00:49:58,735
gosh, golly, that would
be so hard on me.

945
00:50:00,289 --> 00:50:02,746
I don't think
I could live with myself.

946
00:50:02,833 --> 00:50:06,667
Look, baby, maybe it would be better
if you went to school somewhere down south.

947
00:50:09,757 --> 00:50:11,748
[ Think you should go
down south first!

948
00:50:11,842 --> 00:50:13,457
This guy's a real asshole.

949
00:50:14,762 --> 00:50:17,469
Jeffrey: I can't.
I can't do it, all right?

950
00:50:17,848 --> 00:50:22,638
Will you bring your ass on! We've got
work to do before Dean dickhead gets back.

951
00:50:22,728 --> 00:50:24,764
- Mean!
- Silas: Come on!

952
00:50:39,495 --> 00:50:41,215
Aren't you worried
about getting kicked out?

953
00:50:41,288 --> 00:50:44,246
For this?
He ain't gonna never find out. Relax.

954
00:50:55,135 --> 00:50:57,797
What happen to bird?
Crazy shitting everywhere?

955
00:50:58,222 --> 00:51:01,555
Crazy shit, all right,
and it will be everywhere.

956
00:51:02,601 --> 00:51:04,182
With that, they just won't shit.

957
00:51:04,270 --> 00:51:05,726
Yeah.

958
00:51:05,813 --> 00:51:07,394
They're gonna blow up.

959
00:51:36,051 --> 00:51:39,384
And, as for you two,

960
00:51:39,471 --> 00:51:43,259
ever since you arrived on this campus,
there's been several mishaps.

961
00:51:43,350 --> 00:51:47,719
Now, my instincts tell me it's you,
but I can't prove it. Not yet.

962
00:51:48,105 --> 00:51:52,098
But I know if I give you enough time,
pretty soon you're going to slip up

963
00:51:52,192 --> 00:51:56,856
and then I'll be able to send you back
to your miserable existence.

964
00:52:03,746 --> 00:52:05,361
What the hell are you wearing?

965
00:52:05,873 --> 00:52:07,659
Bufu!

966
00:52:07,750 --> 00:52:08,830
Bufu?

967
00:52:08,917 --> 00:52:11,203
"By us, fuck you!"

968
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:13,956
Get out! Out! Out, out, out!

969
00:52:15,883 --> 00:52:17,214
"By us, fuck you."

970
00:52:17,843 --> 00:52:20,380
Jamal: If the chancellor's
throwing a Halloween party,

971
00:52:20,471 --> 00:52:22,712
wait ill Harvard see
our Halloween party!

972
00:52:22,806 --> 00:52:25,263
Silas: Yeah, but if Dean Cain
find out about this shit,

973
00:52:25,351 --> 00:52:27,637
he gonna be mad
as a motherfucker.

974
00:52:27,728 --> 00:52:30,720
What the fuck
is he gonna do? We've got the ivory

975
00:52:30,814 --> 00:52:32,099
making straight "a's."

976
00:52:32,191 --> 00:52:35,900
We've got this
motherfucker locked.

977
00:52:36,904 --> 00:52:40,488
They look like they got money.
Oh, he kinda cute.

978
00:52:40,574 --> 00:52:42,940
Girl, we gonna get paid!

979
00:52:45,204 --> 00:52:46,819
How you doing?

980
00:52:46,914 --> 00:52:48,074
For real!

981
00:52:49,041 --> 00:52:50,872
End table ass!

982
00:52:50,959 --> 00:52:52,074
Hella back!

983
00:52:52,169 --> 00:52:54,911
Where the party at?
We're trying to get a party on.

984
00:52:55,005 --> 00:52:58,918
We having a party.
Costume party at the lovell house.

985
00:52:59,802 --> 00:53:00,837
11:00 P.M.

986
00:53:00,928 --> 00:53:04,170
Please bring your ass
and titties along with you.

987
00:53:06,183 --> 00:53:08,503
- Wait a minute, did you just call us hos?
- 0h, no, uh-uh.

988
00:53:08,686 --> 00:53:10,347
I meant that in a good way.

989
00:53:10,437 --> 00:53:11,677
Okay.

990
00:53:12,272 --> 00:53:16,606
Bring all your horny friends.
There you go. Just bring all the hos.

991
00:53:16,694 --> 00:53:18,935
Y'all gonna pay us, right?

992
00:53:20,698 --> 00:53:21,858
I don't hear nothing.

993
00:53:21,949 --> 00:53:23,405
Yeah, we got dough.

994
00:53:23,492 --> 00:53:26,325
We got dough.
If not, our best friends got dough.

995
00:53:26,412 --> 00:53:28,152
And if not,
their best friends got dough.

996
00:53:28,247 --> 00:53:29,862
Yeah, we gonna come.

997
00:53:29,957 --> 00:53:31,493
Ballers and stuff
gonna be there?

998
00:53:31,583 --> 00:53:33,949
Ass, titties, ballers.
Come on, girl!

999
00:53:35,295 --> 00:53:36,751
We gonna be there.

1000
00:53:36,839 --> 00:53:37,874
All right!

1001
00:53:43,095 --> 00:53:45,962
Popcorn player.

1002
00:53:48,225 --> 00:53:50,807
Silas: I got one more
delivery to make.

1003
00:53:51,228 --> 00:53:53,844
Guess who used to be black?

1004
00:53:55,441 --> 00:53:57,853
Dean Cain. But he is black.

1005
00:53:57,943 --> 00:54:00,776
Like a polar bear,
but I got a recipe

1006
00:54:00,863 --> 00:54:03,821
that'll inject
some ghetto back in his ass.

1007
00:54:04,283 --> 00:54:06,365
Got some more beer.

1008
00:54:06,452 --> 00:54:08,568
What did you do to yourself?

1009
00:54:09,079 --> 00:54:11,070
Oh, the fox club.

1010
00:54:11,165 --> 00:54:13,747
They put me in a shopping cart
and shoved me down a hill.

1011
00:54:13,834 --> 00:54:16,496
Thank god I fell out
before I hit the freeway.

1012
00:54:16,587 --> 00:54:17,747
What the fuck are you doing?

1013
00:54:17,838 --> 00:54:20,500
Put the milk back!
You're not supposed to steal from us!

1014
00:54:20,591 --> 00:54:23,082
Why are you always taking
violent tones with people?

1015
00:54:23,177 --> 00:54:25,589
Man, shut up before
I kick your ass.

1016
00:54:25,679 --> 00:54:26,714
As human beings,

1017
00:54:26,805 --> 00:54:29,387
we should be able
to talk this out, not resort to violence.

1018
00:54:29,475 --> 00:54:31,056
How you gonna talk
when you shutting up?

1019
00:54:31,143 --> 00:54:32,599
Fine! Fine!

1020
00:54:32,686 --> 00:54:34,893
You want some violence?
You want a piece of this?

1021
00:54:34,980 --> 00:54:37,596
Come on!
I'll show you some violence! Come on!

1022
00:54:40,736 --> 00:54:42,727
Oh, god!

1023
00:54:43,989 --> 00:54:47,402
Now go to time out.
Go to your room.

1024
00:54:57,002 --> 00:54:58,993
I wonder who this could be.

1025
00:54:59,880 --> 00:55:01,996
Oh, my goodness.
Honey, look at this.

1026
00:55:03,217 --> 00:55:05,208
I wonder who these are from.

1027
00:55:07,012 --> 00:55:10,004
"Dear Carl,
saw these and thought of you.

1028
00:55:10,098 --> 00:55:11,554
"Love, Mrs. ray."

1029
00:55:12,017 --> 00:55:13,928
It's my old schoolmarm!

1030
00:55:14,019 --> 00:55:16,135
I haven't heard
from her in years!

1031
00:55:16,230 --> 00:55:18,141
Oh, how sweet.

1032
00:55:18,232 --> 00:55:20,518
She knows I love brownies.

1033
00:55:23,654 --> 00:55:25,315
A little piece of heaven.

1034
00:55:25,405 --> 00:55:27,191
Better than mine?

1035
00:55:27,282 --> 00:55:28,927
Darling, I don't remember
you cooking brownies.

1036
00:55:28,951 --> 00:55:30,487
You're right, I don't, I don't.

1037
00:55:30,577 --> 00:55:33,785
Hurry up, darling. You're going to make
us late, and you know I hate to be late.

1038
00:55:33,872 --> 00:55:34,907
Hurry, hurry, hurry!

1039
00:55:34,998 --> 00:55:37,034
All right.
I'll take these upstairs.

1040
00:55:38,919 --> 00:55:41,035
I'll have another one.
They're great.

1041
00:55:42,089 --> 00:55:45,047
Throw me a beer, you big weenie!

1042
00:55:54,059 --> 00:55:56,050
Lovell house!

1043
00:56:00,607 --> 00:56:02,643
Cypress hill. What up, fellas?

1044
00:56:02,734 --> 00:56:03,940
What's up?

1045
00:56:04,027 --> 00:56:05,983
- How was the trip?
- Good. Good.

1046
00:56:06,071 --> 00:56:09,188
I see muggs couldn't make it,
so I brought my man I need money.

1047
00:56:09,283 --> 00:56:10,648
Is he any good?

1048
00:56:10,742 --> 00:56:12,607
He don't talk.
He speaks with his hands.

1049
00:56:12,703 --> 00:56:13,909
Right, right.

1050
00:56:13,996 --> 00:56:16,408
- You have a good show. I'm out.
- Thank you, brother. Peace.

1051
00:56:16,498 --> 00:56:18,079
Hey, hey. Hey.

1052
00:56:18,625 --> 00:56:21,287
Don't fuck up tonight,
all right?

1053
00:56:24,548 --> 00:56:27,039
What the fuck
is the plate for, man?

1054
00:56:31,388 --> 00:56:33,299
Gonna be a long night.

1055
00:56:35,601 --> 00:56:37,091
- Carl.
- Philip.

1056
00:56:37,185 --> 00:56:38,766
- How are you?
- Wonderful.

1057
00:56:38,854 --> 00:56:41,015
You know Ms. janowitz,
from the chemistry department.

1058
00:56:41,106 --> 00:56:43,062
Ms. lovell, from administration.

1059
00:56:43,150 --> 00:56:44,890
And of course
you know my wife Sheila.

1060
00:56:44,985 --> 00:56:48,298
I almost didn't recognize you. I thought you'd
brought a professional model to the party.

1061
00:56:48,322 --> 00:56:49,653
You look lovely.

1062
00:56:49,740 --> 00:56:50,740
Oh, Philip.

1063
00:56:51,366 --> 00:56:53,027
Yeah, the bitch
is fine, isn't she?

1064
00:56:53,118 --> 00:56:54,028
What?

1065
00:56:54,119 --> 00:56:57,532
Dear, can you at least feign some interest?
You're embarrassing me.

1066
00:56:57,623 --> 00:57:00,865
And will you loosen up?
You're so stiff sometimes.

1067
00:57:00,959 --> 00:57:02,039
Stiff?

1068
00:57:02,586 --> 00:57:07,046
Bart, this party is stiff.
Excuse me, can you hold this? I'm hot.

1069
00:57:07,132 --> 00:57:10,670
Can you put this back on,
actually? Your butt is sticking out.

1070
00:57:12,554 --> 00:57:13,760
What?

1071
00:57:15,015 --> 00:57:16,676
What a jerk!

1072
00:57:18,060 --> 00:57:20,747
Huntley: Don't spoil your appetite, Dean.
We're about to have lobster bisque

1073
00:57:20,771 --> 00:57:23,057
and Indian pudding
that doesn't stop.

1074
00:57:23,148 --> 00:57:25,890
I got the munchies
like a motherfucker. Hold this, baby.

1075
00:57:27,110 --> 00:57:28,691
He seems unusual tonight.

1076
00:57:28,779 --> 00:57:29,985
He's dehydrated.

1077
00:57:33,867 --> 00:57:35,152
Dance!

1078
00:57:37,079 --> 00:57:40,412
Yo, baby, this is boring as hell!
Yo, yo, yo, yo, deejay!

1079
00:57:40,499 --> 00:57:42,581
Hit me!

1080
00:58:14,157 --> 00:58:18,150
I told you I had you covered.
There go the two big ballers right there.

1081
00:58:20,664 --> 00:58:22,074
You two stay put.

1082
00:58:22,165 --> 00:58:23,285
Jeffrey: I'm gonna hurt you!

1083
00:58:27,671 --> 00:58:29,411
Yo, j. Yo, t.

1084
00:58:30,173 --> 00:58:33,085
See those two
fine-ass hos right there?

1085
00:58:33,176 --> 00:58:36,418
Don't you wish they were really hos and
they came over here and said,

1086
00:58:36,513 --> 00:58:40,176
"we want to run
a dick-sucking marathon with y'all two"?

1087
00:58:41,143 --> 00:58:42,143
Yeah, I'd like that.

1088
00:58:42,185 --> 00:58:43,345
Me, too!

1089
00:58:43,729 --> 00:58:45,594
Okay. You and you.

1090
00:58:45,689 --> 00:58:48,852
We want to run
a dick-suckin' marathon with y'all.

1091
00:58:50,193 --> 00:58:51,193
Okay.

1092
00:58:51,737 --> 00:58:53,602
I'm not that good at it.

1093
00:58:53,697 --> 00:58:57,235
Baby, I ain't laughing.
I'm gonna make you mine.

1094
00:58:57,325 --> 00:58:58,815
Smells good.

1095
00:58:59,202 --> 00:59:01,693
Pretty boy-looking motherfucker.

1096
00:59:02,122 --> 00:59:05,205
Hey, don't be scared.
[T's only pussy.

1097
00:59:06,835 --> 00:59:08,200
Don't be scared.

1098
00:59:08,879 --> 00:59:11,666
I got two inches of hard dick!

1099
00:59:13,216 --> 00:59:15,252
I'll work with you, baby.
Come on.

1100
00:59:20,474 --> 00:59:24,183
Powder: "Costume party.
Place: Lovell house. Time: Friday."

1101
00:59:24,269 --> 00:59:25,475
It is Friday.

1102
00:59:25,562 --> 00:59:27,042
But that's what
she told cocoa butter.

1103
00:59:27,105 --> 00:59:28,791
Now these bitches better be
out here getting my money.

1104
00:59:28,815 --> 00:59:30,396
Hella back is my bottom bitch.

1105
00:59:30,484 --> 00:59:31,484
You know that, right?

1106
00:59:31,568 --> 00:59:32,603
Right. Powder.

1107
00:59:32,694 --> 00:59:35,151
Bitch better be out here
checking my motherfucking money.

1108
00:59:35,238 --> 00:59:38,150
Don't cuss
when I'm trying to listen to the word.

1109
00:59:38,241 --> 00:59:39,401
The lord don't like that.

1110
00:59:39,493 --> 00:59:40,778
What did I say?

1111
00:59:40,869 --> 00:59:43,611
You said "bitch,"
and "bitch" ain't in the Bible.

1112
00:59:43,705 --> 00:59:45,536
I know, bitch.
Neither is "motherfucker."

1113
00:59:45,624 --> 00:59:47,660
So drive this motherfucking car!

1114
00:59:47,751 --> 00:59:51,414
And you an assistant pimp.
You ain't even a real pimp.

1115
00:59:51,505 --> 00:59:53,996
So you supposed to be cosigning
to the shit that I say.

1116
00:59:54,091 --> 00:59:56,694
You wanna lose your job?
I will pull your motherfucking application.

1117
00:59:56,718 --> 00:59:58,279
Now let's practice it.
Where's my bitches?

1118
00:59:58,303 --> 00:59:59,418
Where's my bitches?

1119
00:59:59,513 --> 01:00:00,782
- Where's my bitches?
- Where's my bitches?

1120
01:00:00,806 --> 01:00:02,888
You gotta say it together.
It goes in together.

1121
01:00:02,974 --> 01:00:04,180
Where's my bitches?

1122
01:00:04,267 --> 01:00:06,178
Okay, check this out.
Where's my bitches?

1123
01:00:06,269 --> 01:00:08,726
Can't you just say employees?

1124
01:00:08,814 --> 01:00:11,226
What about your employees?
No, fuck that!

1125
01:00:15,153 --> 01:00:16,563
Great ass!

1126
01:00:33,421 --> 01:00:35,036
Crowd: Go! Go! Go!

1127
01:00:42,722 --> 01:00:44,508
- Silas, hi.
- Hey, hey.

1128
01:00:45,559 --> 01:00:48,426
Let me ask you a question.
Don't laugh, but...

1129
01:00:49,813 --> 01:00:51,804
Does my ass look fat?

1130
01:00:51,898 --> 01:00:54,640
No. I say, put another one on the front
of you just like it,

1131
01:00:54,734 --> 01:00:56,975
I'll slap both them
motherfuckers.

1132
01:00:59,322 --> 01:01:01,859
Here. Peer pressure,
deer pressure, peer pressure...

1133
01:01:01,950 --> 01:01:03,235
Come on. Let me holler at you.

1134
01:01:03,326 --> 01:01:04,361
Okay.

1135
01:01:05,328 --> 01:01:07,193
Oh, that's my song!

1136
01:01:09,332 --> 01:01:10,663
What's this?

1137
01:01:11,168 --> 01:01:13,830
You got a big sword, baby!

1138
01:01:15,338 --> 01:01:17,329
I have to go prepare.

1139
01:01:18,091 --> 01:01:19,956
You ain't got to do shit, baby,

1140
01:01:20,051 --> 01:01:22,042
except climb out of this costume

1141
01:01:22,137 --> 01:01:24,503
and climb into some pussy, baby.

1142
01:01:24,598 --> 01:01:28,307
You have to appreciate
the colorful use of english language.

1143
01:01:29,102 --> 01:01:31,309
Give me that
Chinese egg roll fuck!

1144
01:01:31,396 --> 01:01:33,478
I love americal

1145
01:01:44,284 --> 01:01:46,149
Let it be something
he is involved in,

1146
01:01:46,244 --> 01:01:47,597
and I better be
the biggest cheerleader.

1147
01:01:47,621 --> 01:01:49,111
He's a huge baby!

1148
01:01:49,206 --> 01:01:51,117
I hear you with your fine ass.

1149
01:01:51,208 --> 01:01:54,325
But pass the blunt, boo!
Damn, you hogging the whole shit!

1150
01:01:55,086 --> 01:01:56,451
I'm sorry.

1151
01:01:57,839 --> 01:02:00,330
I must be buzzed. I'm babbling.

1152
01:02:01,426 --> 01:02:04,543
You know,
you surprised me by getting high.

1153
01:02:05,096 --> 01:02:06,711
I'm not that much
of a square, Silas.

1154
01:02:06,806 --> 01:02:09,388
I did do it once in high school.

1155
01:02:11,811 --> 01:02:14,678
What about you?
We all have secrets.

1156
01:02:15,357 --> 01:02:19,350
Well, if you act right,
I might just let you in my head one day.

1157
01:02:19,444 --> 01:02:20,900
Whatever.

1158
01:02:20,987 --> 01:02:23,478
But I ain't saying shit
on the first date.

1159
01:02:23,573 --> 01:02:25,655
Who said this was a date?

1160
01:02:26,284 --> 01:02:29,526
You smoked my weed, didn't you?
And we almost kissed, didn't we?

1161
01:02:29,621 --> 01:02:30,781
- We did not.
- Yes, we did.

1162
01:02:30,872 --> 01:02:32,908
- We did not.
- Here, hit this.

1163
01:02:39,839 --> 01:02:41,124
My bad.

1164
01:02:41,216 --> 01:02:44,299
Did I spoil the moment?
[ Can't help it, though.

1165
01:02:44,386 --> 01:02:45,296
You know what?

1166
01:02:45,387 --> 01:02:46,547
Them shits was talking to me.

1167
01:02:46,596 --> 01:02:48,803
Oh, my god, look at them.
Turn the headlights off!

1168
01:02:48,890 --> 01:02:50,096
I'm gonna tell you something.

1169
01:02:50,183 --> 01:02:53,300
This pimping that I got in my blood,
it came from a family tree.

1170
01:02:53,395 --> 01:02:55,306
My granddaddy was a pimp.

1171
01:02:55,397 --> 01:02:57,558
My great-great-
great-granddaddy was a pimp.

1172
01:02:57,649 --> 01:03:01,312
I'm talking about pimping been since
pimping since been pimping...

1173
01:03:01,403 --> 01:03:02,768
It's in your bloodline.

1174
01:03:02,862 --> 01:03:05,319
It's in my blood
and you'll never be that.

1175
01:03:05,407 --> 01:03:07,489
- Why?
- Because you was born,

1176
01:03:07,575 --> 01:03:10,066
all the people
in your family were assistant pimps.

1177
01:03:10,161 --> 01:03:12,447
You's a pimp.
I never deny you that.

1178
01:03:12,539 --> 01:03:15,030
I thought you was
the one the lord chose.

1179
01:03:15,125 --> 01:03:16,581
If it hadn't been for the lord,

1180
01:03:16,668 --> 01:03:19,831
I wouldn't have not had
not a bitch come into my life.

1181
01:03:19,921 --> 01:03:21,786
- Not had not a?
- Not had not a bitch!

1182
01:03:21,881 --> 01:03:24,543
Nobody say "not had not a”
like you say "not had not a."

1183
01:03:24,634 --> 01:03:26,215
Not had not a bitch.

1184
01:03:26,303 --> 01:03:29,340
I still don't know
what that shit means, but it sounds good!

1185
01:03:29,431 --> 01:03:33,299
"Not had not a" means
"don't get a not nothing."

1186
01:03:33,393 --> 01:03:34,393
Now nothing?

1187
01:03:34,436 --> 01:03:35,551
A now nothing out of them.

1188
01:03:36,688 --> 01:03:39,395
Bitch, shut up and
drive this fucking car.

1189
01:03:59,419 --> 01:04:02,411
Raging party
with open beer cans in hallway.

1190
01:04:15,935 --> 01:04:17,175
What's this?

1191
01:04:23,568 --> 01:04:27,481
Sterilize hands tonight. Sterilize hands
tonight with antibacterial cream many times.

1192
01:04:37,207 --> 01:04:39,118
What do we have here?

1193
01:04:40,335 --> 01:04:41,495
Nothing.

1194
01:04:43,505 --> 01:04:44,585
Ahal

1195
01:04:47,509 --> 01:04:50,125
multi-socket extension cubes.

1196
01:04:50,512 --> 01:04:53,299
This is against
campus fire code, section 1743,

1197
01:04:53,390 --> 01:04:58,225
“thou shalt not allow multi-socket
extension cubes in dorm rooms."

1198
01:04:58,728 --> 01:05:02,846
The extension cords themselves are
intertwined in the most flammable of ways,

1199
01:05:02,941 --> 01:05:05,148
and they are producing
an immense amount of heat.

1200
01:05:05,235 --> 01:05:08,193
They could cause an ignition
at any point and...

1201
01:05:19,416 --> 01:05:21,532
Well, I'll be damned.
What is that?

1202
01:05:22,585 --> 01:05:24,621
It's just a baby.

1203
01:05:35,098 --> 01:05:38,215
This ain't no damn baby. What kind of shit
is that hanging out the back?

1204
01:05:38,309 --> 01:05:40,766
I need to get her home.
Excuse me.

1205
01:05:40,854 --> 01:05:43,095
- Where you going with that?
- Come on.

1206
01:05:49,487 --> 01:05:51,569
Where them motherfucking
hitches at?

1207
01:05:52,282 --> 01:05:54,523
Look at that
little bitty bitch. Look.

1208
01:05:55,243 --> 01:05:57,108
Hey, little bitty bitch.

1209
01:05:57,203 --> 01:06:00,536
You little bitch, you better get off of me.
Where's my bitches?

1210
01:06:03,793 --> 01:06:05,454
Yo, what's up, homey?

1211
01:06:05,545 --> 01:06:07,456
- Where my bitches at?
- Where are our bitches?

1212
01:06:07,547 --> 01:06:10,664
You got the voice down,
but those outfits no good.

1213
01:06:10,758 --> 01:06:12,248
What's wrong with my shit?

1214
01:06:12,343 --> 01:06:13,423
Homey, please.

1215
01:06:13,511 --> 01:06:18,096
Your Halloween costume.
If you pimp, you broke pimp.

1216
01:06:19,184 --> 01:06:20,469
You know you're
fucked up, Woody.

1217
01:06:20,560 --> 01:06:21,470
Come on with it.

1218
01:06:21,561 --> 01:06:23,017
Baby powder?

1219
01:06:23,104 --> 01:06:24,469
What smell that is?

1220
01:06:24,564 --> 01:06:25,804
You changing diapers?

1221
01:07:05,104 --> 01:07:06,765
What the fuck is all this?

1222
01:07:06,856 --> 01:07:08,187
What y'all three bitches want?

1223
01:07:08,274 --> 01:07:09,354
Tell them, powder!

1224
01:07:09,442 --> 01:07:11,524
We already got pussy here.
Y'all come back later.

1225
01:07:11,611 --> 01:07:13,147
I'm about to
knock you the fuck out.

1226
01:07:13,238 --> 01:07:14,523
I'm gonna do the knocking out.

1227
01:07:14,614 --> 01:07:15,774
Come on with it.

1228
01:07:28,628 --> 01:07:31,791
Where you going? You gotta stay.

1229
01:07:31,881 --> 01:07:34,247
A party ain't
a party without you.

1230
01:07:34,342 --> 01:07:36,628
Damn, you smelly little fucker!

1231
01:07:37,637 --> 01:07:39,673
Plus, there's no room
in the limo!

1232
01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:42,551
I'll be back for you, man.

1233
01:07:45,103 --> 01:07:46,639
You ain't gonna need that.

1234
01:07:47,939 --> 01:07:49,224
Cops!

1235
01:07:49,899 --> 01:07:53,562
Somebody owes me for one night's worth
of flat-back fucking up in here!

1236
01:08:00,827 --> 01:08:02,112
Whoa

1237
01:08:02,662 --> 01:08:05,574
this is exhilarating.
But don't get the wrong idea.

1238
01:08:05,665 --> 01:08:07,826
Megan and I have never done
anything like this before.

1239
01:08:07,917 --> 01:08:10,033
- We're virgins.
- Yeah, both of us.

1240
01:08:10,837 --> 01:08:15,376
Molly and I
are really into d'Angelo. Do you have any?

1241
01:08:15,466 --> 01:08:17,582
Ain't that a...
Hell, no, we ain't got no...

1242
01:08:17,677 --> 01:08:18,696
And let me let you know something.

1243
01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:20,836
While you're sitting in this car,
you don't run shit.

1244
01:08:20,930 --> 01:08:21,965
Tell them, powder.

1245
01:08:22,056 --> 01:08:24,593
Dick drives this car, not pussy.

1246
01:08:26,269 --> 01:08:28,009
You think it's funny, bitch?

1247
01:08:28,104 --> 01:08:31,187
This is pimping here.
I been on wheel of fortune, price is right.

1248
01:08:31,274 --> 01:08:32,684
Bitch, come on with it.

1249
01:08:32,775 --> 01:08:36,267
You'd rather piss off
a barracuda than piss off powder.

1250
01:08:36,362 --> 01:08:39,320
That's funny? Keep on laughing.
Bring your face over here.

1251
01:08:40,867 --> 01:08:42,403
Play that shit!

1252
01:08:44,954 --> 01:08:46,034
Wow.

1253
01:08:49,375 --> 01:08:53,038
Jamal: Man, come on. You act like I
took it. We'll just get some more.

1254
01:08:53,129 --> 01:08:56,872
Man, ain't no more. All of ivory's
ashes was in just that plant.

1255
01:08:56,966 --> 01:08:59,403
Now come on, let's go see
what this Dean stick-up-his-ass wants.

1256
01:08:59,427 --> 01:09:02,794
He probably gonna
curse us out about that wild-ass party.

1257
01:09:02,889 --> 01:09:05,005
Man, that party
was not that wild.

1258
01:09:07,935 --> 01:09:09,846
Yeah, it did get
1 little out of hand.

1259
01:09:09,937 --> 01:09:11,347
See what I'm saying?

1260
01:09:11,439 --> 01:09:14,727
Sex novelties,
obscenity, fighting,

1261
01:09:14,817 --> 01:09:16,808
indecent exposure,

1262
01:09:16,903 --> 01:09:18,768
rock bands, without a permit.

1263
01:09:20,990 --> 01:09:24,574
Welcome, gentlemen,
to academic probation.

1264
01:09:25,745 --> 01:09:27,656
Damn, who gonna be our po?

1265
01:09:27,747 --> 01:09:29,612
How charmingly ghetto.

1266
01:09:30,750 --> 01:09:32,160
You're dismissed.

1267
01:09:37,632 --> 01:09:39,418
We ain't got no ivory,

1268
01:09:39,509 --> 01:09:42,546
we're about to get kicked
the fuck out of here,

1269
01:09:42,637 --> 01:09:44,343
and what the fuck are you doing?

1270
01:09:44,430 --> 01:09:46,637
Oh, I'm working on
my truth serum.

1271
01:09:46,724 --> 01:09:49,431
Why you gotta sound all
belligerent about my shit anyway?

1272
01:09:49,519 --> 01:09:50,634
Belligerent?

1273
01:09:50,728 --> 01:09:51,888
Yeah, belligerent.

1274
01:09:51,979 --> 01:09:53,765
As in abusive or truculent.

1275
01:09:55,566 --> 01:09:58,478
Yo, you keep on using
them big-ass Harvard words

1276
01:09:58,569 --> 01:10:00,901
and your ghetto pass
is gonna get revoked, buddy.

1277
01:10:00,988 --> 01:10:03,024
Why don't you go pick up
a book or something?

1278
01:10:03,116 --> 01:10:06,028
If I get this shit right,
I get an "a" in botany class.

1279
01:10:06,119 --> 01:10:07,655
Motherfucker.

1280
01:10:07,745 --> 01:10:12,739
When I was 12,
I used to love watching my dogs hump.

1281
01:10:13,751 --> 01:10:15,742
We used to have a good time.

1282
01:10:27,223 --> 01:10:28,963
What the fuck is that?

1283
01:10:30,143 --> 01:10:32,304
I'm gonna have to
tweak this shit a little.

1284
01:10:32,395 --> 01:10:33,760
Me hungry.

1285
01:10:36,983 --> 01:10:40,271
Go to that graveyard,
find us a smart dead guy,

1286
01:10:41,279 --> 01:10:42,769
and smoke his skeleton ass.

1287
01:10:42,864 --> 01:10:45,150
We sit down, Blaze up,

1288
01:10:45,241 --> 01:10:48,608
hit the books
for a few hours a day, we got this.

1289
01:10:49,370 --> 01:10:52,783
I'm telling you.
We don't need no smart dead guy.

1290
01:10:55,168 --> 01:10:56,954
That's what I'm talking about.

1291
01:10:57,044 --> 01:10:59,000
Light that shit up.

1292
01:11:01,716 --> 01:11:03,081
Hit them books!

1293
01:11:38,836 --> 01:11:40,326
Jamal: These are our midterms?

1294
01:11:40,421 --> 01:11:42,912
Silas:
See what I'm saying? All "f's," son.

1295
01:11:43,007 --> 01:11:45,293
We are fucked.
Fucked, fucked, fucked, fucked!

1296
01:11:46,052 --> 01:11:50,091
How did I fail
women's studies? I love bitches!

1297
01:11:54,227 --> 01:11:55,683
What are we doing?

1298
01:11:55,770 --> 01:11:58,432
Looking for a smart dead guy.

1299
01:11:59,774 --> 01:12:03,733
Guys, hey!
This guy'll do. He's a president.

1300
01:12:06,864 --> 01:12:08,775
Yeah, he should know
all the fucking answers.

1301
01:12:08,866 --> 01:12:11,778
Answers?
What are you talking about?

1302
01:12:11,869 --> 01:12:15,657
Wait, no, no, no! You can't
dig up somebody's grave! That's disgusting!

1303
01:12:15,748 --> 01:12:18,535
You guys don't think
that there's anything wrong with this?

1304
01:12:20,503 --> 01:12:23,870
You guys are fucked up!
What are you gonna do with this now?

1305
01:12:27,552 --> 01:12:28,758
Shit!

1306
01:12:31,556 --> 01:12:34,343
Silas: Stop acting
like a little bitch! Get the body.

1307
01:12:37,520 --> 01:12:39,886
What the fuck are you doing?

1308
01:12:40,314 --> 01:12:42,430
Get the body.

1309
01:12:42,525 --> 01:12:46,313
You should have some more respect
for an ex-president, asshole.

1310
01:12:47,280 --> 01:12:48,736
Come on.
Put this shit on your back.

1311
01:12:48,823 --> 01:12:50,984
Oh. God! No!

1312
01:12:51,075 --> 01:12:54,283
Shut up before
I smack the shit out of you.

1313
01:12:54,370 --> 01:12:56,281
Come on, come on.

1314
01:12:58,916 --> 01:13:01,908
Oh, my god. It's so good.

1315
01:13:04,922 --> 01:13:07,208
Fly!

1316
01:13:08,217 --> 01:13:09,957
Yo, Silas. What's up, dog?

1317
01:13:12,346 --> 01:13:15,053
Who are you? Do you see me?

1318
01:13:15,141 --> 01:13:16,631
Relax, relax!

1319
01:13:16,726 --> 01:13:17,932
Open, window! Open, window!

1320
01:13:18,352 --> 01:13:21,094
Yo, what the fuck
are we gonna do now?

1321
01:13:21,188 --> 01:13:23,474
Fuck you think we gonna do?
We gonna smoke his ass,

1322
01:13:23,566 --> 01:13:25,852
then we gonna start
asking questions.

1323
01:13:25,943 --> 01:13:26,943
Wait a minute.

1324
01:13:26,986 --> 01:13:30,820
Didn't you put the ashes
in the soil before you grew the plant?

1325
01:13:30,907 --> 01:13:32,707
We ain't got no time
for that shit, all right?

1326
01:13:32,742 --> 01:13:34,573
We gotta grind him now.
Get this arm.

1327
01:13:34,660 --> 01:13:35,820
No.

1328
01:13:35,912 --> 01:13:37,743
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

1329
01:13:38,331 --> 01:13:40,322
This is
a motherfucking president, man.

1330
01:13:40,416 --> 01:13:41,727
What the fuck are we doing?

1331
01:13:41,751 --> 01:13:43,833
You want to stay
in Harvard, or what?

1332
01:13:43,920 --> 01:13:45,911
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!

1333
01:13:46,797 --> 01:13:47,983
I need money, did you check him

1334
01:13:48,007 --> 01:13:50,293
for any jewelry, or
money on him, or anything?

1335
01:13:50,384 --> 01:13:53,342
Fuck all that, man.
Listen, I'm cutting this arm now.

1336
01:14:00,311 --> 01:14:02,302
Get the arm! Get the arm, man.

1337
01:14:02,396 --> 01:14:04,853
Y'all calm down!
We got this. Calm down.

1338
01:14:05,316 --> 01:14:06,852
Jeffrey: This is insane.

1339
01:14:09,820 --> 01:14:11,936
You're a nasty motherfucker!

1340
01:14:27,421 --> 01:14:29,833
I can't smoke a finger!

1341
01:14:32,843 --> 01:14:34,549
This shit's not working.

1342
01:14:37,974 --> 01:14:39,339
What up, bro?

1343
01:14:39,433 --> 01:14:42,345
I didn't know
that you guys were gonna be here.

1344
01:14:42,436 --> 01:14:43,972
I saved your plant.

1345
01:14:45,773 --> 01:14:49,516
What did you do to it?
This is a special plant.

1346
01:14:49,610 --> 01:14:51,020
I know.

1347
01:14:51,112 --> 01:14:52,397
You stole our plant!

1348
01:14:52,488 --> 01:14:54,604
Damn right he stole your plant.

1349
01:14:54,699 --> 01:14:56,906
Yo, Silas, this idiot
smoked up all the plant.

1350
01:14:56,993 --> 01:14:58,904
You're gonna have to study
on your own.

1351
01:14:58,995 --> 01:15:00,906
Damn, they can't hear me
or see me. Tell them!

1352
01:15:00,997 --> 01:15:03,488
Well, you know,
someone else was breaking in here.

1353
01:15:03,582 --> 01:15:07,575
S50 I caught them. You can give me a
reward, like more of the plant.

1354
01:15:07,670 --> 01:15:09,911
Man, we ain't got
no more goddamn plant!

1355
01:15:10,006 --> 01:15:14,170
Hogging all the good shit.
Okay, that's fine! Let's go, ivory.

1356
01:15:14,260 --> 01:15:15,921
Wait. Ivory here?

1357
01:15:16,012 --> 01:15:17,092
Yeah, maybe.

1358
01:15:17,179 --> 01:15:18,919
- Ivory: Repeat after me.
- Repeat after me.

1359
01:15:19,015 --> 01:15:20,380
- Yo, dog.
- Yo, z0q.

1360
01:15:21,809 --> 01:15:23,219
You idiot. You idiot!

1361
01:15:24,020 --> 01:15:25,931
- I'm disappearing.
- I'm disappearing.

1362
01:15:26,022 --> 01:15:28,186
- What?
- What?

1363
01:15:28,274 --> 01:15:29,309
What?

1364
01:15:31,694 --> 01:15:34,106
This reminds me
of my lab back at the crib.

1365
01:15:34,196 --> 01:15:37,029
I have some of the same stuff.

1366
01:15:37,116 --> 01:15:38,196
How'd you get that?

1367
01:15:38,284 --> 01:15:39,615
I stole it.

1368
01:15:39,702 --> 01:15:41,613
Just place them
on the wall there.

1369
01:15:42,038 --> 01:15:43,619
Well, well, well.

1370
01:15:44,457 --> 01:15:48,951
Never thought I'd find
you two ghetto asses up in here studying.

1371
01:15:49,045 --> 01:15:50,581
"Ghetto asses"?

1372
01:15:50,671 --> 01:15:52,286
Oh, did I say that?

1373
01:15:52,381 --> 01:15:55,293
Oh, it must be the effects
of the brownies you sent me.

1374
01:15:55,384 --> 01:15:57,420
They must still be in my system.

1375
01:15:58,179 --> 01:15:59,589
Lauren.

1376
01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:01,966
How's the project coming?

1377
01:16:02,058 --> 01:16:05,346
Fine. As a matter of fact,
I'm going to check on that right now.

1378
01:16:05,436 --> 01:16:07,051
I got to go.

1379
01:16:08,731 --> 01:16:11,143
Yo, Dean.
Why you gotta be a hater?

1380
01:16:11,233 --> 01:16:14,521
Oh, yes. I'm a hater.
I hate pot-smoking punks

1381
01:16:14,612 --> 01:16:17,228
that think that everything
should just be given to them.

1382
01:16:17,323 --> 01:16:20,406
You two are an absolute disgrace
to this university.

1383
01:16:21,035 --> 01:16:23,321
Yo, Dean, man, what are those?

1384
01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:27,413
0h, these? These are
invitations to the alumni celebration,

1385
01:16:27,500 --> 01:16:29,741
in which the vice president
will be attending.

1386
01:16:29,835 --> 01:16:33,544
And Lauren will be unveiling
her Benjamin Franklin experiment.

1387
01:16:34,090 --> 01:16:37,503
Certain students will be invited,
those that pass their finals.

1388
01:16:38,094 --> 01:16:39,209
For real?

1389
01:16:39,303 --> 01:16:40,943
Dean Cain: But you won't
pass your finals.

1390
01:16:41,097 --> 01:16:44,681
You'll fail and then I'll have you
out of my hair and out of Harvard.

1391
01:16:45,684 --> 01:16:47,845
Happy studying, gentlemen.

1392
01:16:49,063 --> 01:16:50,178
Fuck!

1393
01:16:50,272 --> 01:16:52,479
I'm trying to do my thing.
It's pimping over here, baby.

1394
01:16:52,566 --> 01:16:54,557
Baby powder, when you gonna
pay us our money?

1395
01:16:54,652 --> 01:16:56,188
I got a $25 money order...

1396
01:16:56,278 --> 01:16:58,189
- $257?
- Money order?

1397
01:16:58,280 --> 01:16:59,736
That you bitches can split.

1398
01:16:59,824 --> 01:17:01,610
Both: Who you calling
a bitch, bitch?

1399
01:17:01,700 --> 01:17:03,531
- Come on with it.
- I got you.

1400
01:17:04,120 --> 01:17:05,826
If it ain't "rice puff daddy."

1401
01:17:05,913 --> 01:17:08,404
No, powder. That's "run msg."

1402
01:17:08,499 --> 01:17:11,036
Hey, what you
listening to, brother?

1403
01:17:11,127 --> 01:17:12,037
Wu-tang.

1404
01:17:12,128 --> 01:17:15,040
"Wu-tang! Wu-tang!
I came to bring the pain!

1405
01:17:15,131 --> 01:17:16,746
"Hardcore to the pain!”

1406
01:17:17,383 --> 01:17:21,092
We don't listen
to that Chinese shit. We do this.

1407
01:17:21,554 --> 01:17:23,010
You guys!

1408
01:17:23,097 --> 01:17:25,008
You need to sit down.

1409
01:17:25,099 --> 01:17:28,637
I'll round them motherfucking almond
eyes of yours out, you understand me?

1410
01:17:28,727 --> 01:17:32,015
Hold on, powder.
Let's not get ignorant.

1411
01:17:32,106 --> 01:17:33,767
Maybe he just came here
to pay our money.

1412
01:17:33,858 --> 01:17:36,019
No, actually,
I come for your girls.

1413
01:17:37,111 --> 01:17:41,150
Actually, you gonna come back and give me
them two duck sauces your mama...

1414
01:17:43,784 --> 01:17:46,571
Let me get my switchblade out.
Let me get my blade.

1415
01:17:48,122 --> 01:17:49,032
Ooh, shit!

1416
01:17:49,123 --> 01:17:50,238
Come on, hitch.

1417
01:17:50,332 --> 01:17:52,744
Man, it was two egg rolls,
it wasn't duck sauce.

1418
01:17:59,258 --> 01:18:01,044
Who the bitch now, bitch?

1419
01:18:01,135 --> 01:18:02,591
Bitch!

1420
01:18:02,678 --> 01:18:05,294
I need to slap
my goddamn self for that.

1421
01:18:05,389 --> 01:18:08,756
Pimps go through
this kind of shit from time to time.

1422
01:18:15,566 --> 01:18:17,147
Yes, Dean Cain here.

1423
01:18:17,568 --> 01:18:18,933
Yes, I did receive them.

1424
01:18:19,028 --> 01:18:23,067
As a matter of fact, I was just
going over Silas and Jamal's grades

1425
01:18:23,157 --> 01:18:25,239
and I see they're all "f's."

1426
01:18:25,326 --> 01:18:27,408
Yes. I agree.

1427
01:18:27,494 --> 01:18:30,156
Very sad. Very sad, indeed.

1428
01:18:30,748 --> 01:18:33,410
Yes. Well, I'll speak to
you later.

1429
01:18:33,792 --> 01:18:34,998
Bye-bye.

1430
01:18:36,754 --> 01:18:39,166
Yes! Yes! Yes!

1431
01:18:45,554 --> 01:18:48,466
Dean Cain
expects us off campus by Monday.

1432
01:18:48,557 --> 01:18:51,094
It went that bad
in botany class?

1433
01:18:51,185 --> 01:18:53,801
Kid lost about
15 pounds of fluid.

1434
01:18:53,896 --> 01:18:58,640
And that was just
from the mouth. And I'm still below a 2.0.

1435
01:18:58,734 --> 01:19:01,521
Man, we gonna get
kicked the fuck out this school.

1436
01:19:01,612 --> 01:19:03,819
Maybe I can go back
to being your manager

1437
01:19:03,906 --> 01:19:07,114
and you strip
at that club again like you used to.

1438
01:19:07,201 --> 01:19:08,941
Jeffrey: No, you can't give up.

1439
01:19:09,828 --> 01:19:11,489
You can't let the Dean win.

1440
01:19:11,580 --> 01:19:13,116
Did commander riker give up

1441
01:19:13,207 --> 01:19:15,127
when the borg
infiltrated the starship enterprise

1442
01:19:15,209 --> 01:19:17,621
and captain picard
came back all half-robot?

1443
01:19:17,711 --> 01:19:20,293
The borgs? They're here!

1444
01:19:23,842 --> 01:19:25,028
My point is...

1445
01:19:25,052 --> 01:19:27,839
My point is shut the fuck up!

1446
01:19:28,722 --> 01:19:29,802
It's over.

1447
01:19:30,391 --> 01:19:33,224
And we out of here.
Wash my hands.

1448
01:19:35,229 --> 01:19:36,719
Silas, man, you can't give up.

1449
01:19:36,814 --> 01:19:40,352
If you get this botany
grade changed, they have to keep you.

1450
01:19:41,235 --> 01:19:43,726
Yeah, my truth serum.

1451
01:19:44,363 --> 01:19:45,569
I gotta fix it. Yo!

1452
01:19:45,656 --> 01:19:46,896
That's right.

1453
01:19:54,248 --> 01:19:55,954
Here's your coffee.

1454
01:20:12,266 --> 01:20:14,131
Ah, Bart. Nice to see you.

1455
01:20:14,226 --> 01:20:17,593
Listen, I think
I have a solution to your little problem.

1456
01:20:18,355 --> 01:20:21,267
Oh, no. I already got
the prescription filled. Zing!

1457
01:20:22,693 --> 01:20:25,275
Not that problem.
I'm talking about the boys.

1458
01:20:26,488 --> 01:20:29,025
Those rejects
have been rejected.

1459
01:20:29,658 --> 01:20:33,492
Yo, Dean Cain, look who's back!

1460
01:20:33,579 --> 01:20:34,659
Holler.

1461
01:20:35,372 --> 01:20:37,237
Dean, what a surprise.
Look who's here.

1462
01:20:37,333 --> 01:20:38,333
Dean Cain: How exciting.

1463
01:20:38,417 --> 01:20:41,159
Guys, we weren't expecting you,
but you're right on time.

1464
01:20:41,253 --> 01:20:44,461
Let's go meet
the next likely leader of the free world.

1465
01:20:47,801 --> 01:20:49,291
What are you two doing here?

1466
01:20:49,386 --> 01:20:53,129
Couldn't have my future ex-wife
show up to some big-wig event

1467
01:20:53,223 --> 01:20:55,088
without her daddy on her arm.

1468
01:20:55,184 --> 01:20:56,640
Ain't that right, baby?

1469
01:20:56,727 --> 01:20:58,263
Right, daddy.

1470
01:20:59,313 --> 01:21:01,429
Old friends, fellow alums,

1471
01:21:02,316 --> 01:21:04,227
it's wonderful being back
here at Harvard,

1472
01:21:04,318 --> 01:21:06,809
where I get to see
my beautiful daughter.

1473
01:21:06,904 --> 01:21:09,236
- Hi, honey.
- Hi, daddy. Daddy?

1474
01:21:09,323 --> 01:21:12,030
This is Jamal.
Jamal, this is my dad.

1475
01:21:12,117 --> 01:21:13,357
Hi. Hello, Jamal.

1476
01:21:13,452 --> 01:21:14,737
Mr. president.

1477
01:21:14,828 --> 01:21:18,241
I call you Mr. president because I know
you're gonna rock this election.

1478
01:21:18,332 --> 01:21:20,414
I hope you're right, son.
Uh-oh. Camera.

1479
01:21:28,675 --> 01:21:31,963
All right, ivory.
This is the last of you. Do your stuff.

1480
01:21:33,222 --> 01:21:35,383
Oh, hey, hey, hey, professor!
What's going on?

1481
01:21:35,474 --> 01:21:36,680
Nice to see you again.

1482
01:21:36,767 --> 01:21:40,225
Listen, tonight I got a feeling
you're gonna see my experiment work.

1483
01:21:40,312 --> 01:21:43,224
I hope we don't have to
pass out any barf bags.

1484
01:21:43,315 --> 01:21:46,307
Don't even worry about that.
I found my secret ingredient.

1485
01:21:46,402 --> 01:21:49,235
By adding a little bit of...
Cannabis,

1486
01:21:49,321 --> 01:21:51,437
I was able to
counteract the nausea.

1487
01:21:52,241 --> 01:21:53,606
I'm proud of you.

1488
01:21:53,700 --> 01:21:55,315
Thank you, professor.
Thank you, man.

1489
01:22:00,707 --> 01:22:02,243
I actually feel wonderful.

1490
01:22:02,334 --> 01:22:03,824
Isn't he great, daddy?

1491
01:22:03,919 --> 01:22:05,375
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1492
01:22:05,462 --> 01:22:06,918
- He's great.
- He's great.

1493
01:22:15,055 --> 01:22:16,636
Good service.

1494
01:22:16,723 --> 01:22:20,341
Oh, Jamie! Here's your dad
after a frat party.

1495
01:22:21,103 --> 01:22:23,765
Huntley: We don't want
the Dean to get his panties in a bunch.

1496
01:22:23,856 --> 01:22:25,266
He might want a spanking!

1497
01:22:25,357 --> 01:22:26,472
Sit down.

1498
01:22:31,697 --> 01:22:34,609
Wait a minute.
I know you two ain't here playing grab ass

1499
01:22:34,700 --> 01:22:38,318
while I'm entertaining
my future vanilla-villa father, are you?

1500
01:22:38,412 --> 01:22:40,027
- 0h, yeah.
- Yeah.

1501
01:22:41,123 --> 01:22:43,990
Look! The serum working, man.
They high, dog. Look!

1502
01:22:44,084 --> 01:22:48,043
I got something to tell you.
Man, I been pinching your weed off.

1503
01:22:48,464 --> 01:22:50,295
- What you telling me for?
- Damn.

1504
01:22:50,382 --> 01:22:53,340
I don't know.
I guess it's that new serum, man.

1505
01:22:53,427 --> 01:22:55,530
- I'm sorry, man.
- It's okay. Don't even worry about it.

1506
01:22:55,554 --> 01:23:00,389
No, it ain't all right, man. I been taking
your cds. I been using your weed pipes.

1507
01:23:00,476 --> 01:23:04,219
I even been looking
at Lauren's ass a couple of times, man.

1508
01:23:04,313 --> 01:23:05,348
She's fine!

1509
01:23:05,439 --> 01:23:09,273
And if she gave me the chance, I'd wax that
ass till she show me what...

1510
01:23:09,359 --> 01:23:10,565
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

1511
01:23:10,652 --> 01:23:13,439
Jamal, I'll take that
as a compliment.

1512
01:23:17,075 --> 01:23:18,406
Thank you.

1513
01:23:18,494 --> 01:23:20,701
We all know that Harvard
has been honored to host

1514
01:23:20,787 --> 01:23:24,325
some of Benjamin Franklin's
artifacts, which I personally found,

1515
01:23:24,416 --> 01:23:26,782
like this Cannon-like
article back here.

1516
01:23:27,211 --> 01:23:30,999
Now, later, you can take note
of the foot-operated carburetor,

1517
01:23:31,423 --> 01:23:34,711
the reservoir,
and the top-loading bud bowl.

1518
01:23:35,427 --> 01:23:40,467
Ladies and gentlemen, Harvard is now the
proud owner of America's first

1519
01:23:41,433 --> 01:23:42,433
bong!

1520
01:23:44,436 --> 01:23:45,767
Dean Cain: A bong?

1521
01:23:47,356 --> 01:23:49,517
This is outrageous!

1522
01:23:49,608 --> 01:23:51,815
If Benjamin Franklin
were here today,

1523
01:23:51,902 --> 01:23:56,862
he would deny and denounce any
claim to these so-called findings.

1524
01:23:56,949 --> 01:23:58,309
I'm gonna have to
disagree on that.

1525
01:23:59,993 --> 01:24:02,905
Yo, Ben, tell this fool.
Is that a bong or what?

1526
01:24:02,996 --> 01:24:06,033
Yep. It's the
Liberty bong. Light that shit.

1527
01:24:06,124 --> 01:24:09,457
Both: Smoke that shit,
pass that shit.

1528
01:24:10,170 --> 01:24:12,456
Yo, you gotta come to
this party, Ben.

1529
01:24:15,133 --> 01:24:16,293
Come on, man. Smoke.

1530
01:24:16,385 --> 01:24:17,465
Gerald!

1531
01:24:18,804 --> 01:24:21,216
Oh, yeah!

1532
01:24:23,600 --> 01:24:25,215
This is insane!

1533
01:24:25,602 --> 01:24:26,967
What are you all laughing at?

1534
01:24:27,062 --> 01:24:29,769
Dean, I have had it
with your uptight,

1535
01:24:29,856 --> 01:24:32,393
self-serving,
over-opinionated ass!

1536
01:24:32,484 --> 01:24:33,394
Silas: Ghetto!

1537
01:24:33,485 --> 01:24:36,101
In short, you are fired!

1538
01:24:36,488 --> 01:24:39,946
Oh, hit the bricks, dog!

1539
01:24:49,501 --> 01:24:50,832
The big payback!

1540
01:24:58,218 --> 01:25:01,585
Silas. Yo, dog, man. Jamal.

1541
01:25:01,680 --> 01:25:04,422
Look like you did it, dog.
You got a new serum, man.

1542
01:25:04,516 --> 01:25:07,178
You gonna be
an herbal scientist, my brother.

1543
01:25:07,269 --> 01:25:09,430
Me and you turned this place
upside down, didn't we?

1544
01:25:09,521 --> 01:25:10,681
Did we!

1545
01:25:10,772 --> 01:25:14,936
Amazing what two brothers from the pj can
do with just a bit of opportunity.

1546
01:25:15,027 --> 01:25:17,393
Word. Holler at you, dog.

1547
01:25:17,487 --> 01:25:18,977
I will, man.

1548
01:25:22,034 --> 01:25:23,490
Secret service!

1549
01:25:27,164 --> 01:25:28,558
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
Dean, Dean, Dean.

1550
01:25:28,582 --> 01:25:30,994
Ease up on
the black-on-black crime, bro.

1551
01:25:33,754 --> 01:25:35,961
This motherfucker
done messed up my shit!

1552
01:25:36,048 --> 01:25:39,415
Back up! Back up!
You better give me three feet!

1553
01:25:46,058 --> 01:25:47,594
Get up.

1554
01:25:50,103 --> 01:25:51,434
Cool.

1555
01:25:51,521 --> 01:25:52,431
Take him away, boys.

1556
01:25:52,522 --> 01:25:55,434
Take your hands off of me!
Do you realize who I am?

1557
01:25:55,525 --> 01:25:56,560
What are you looking at?

1558
01:25:56,652 --> 01:25:58,768
I need money! You talk!

1559
01:25:58,862 --> 01:26:01,695
Why, yes, Jamal.
It is somewhat of a surprise to me, also.

1560
01:26:01,782 --> 01:26:06,526
Lord, it's a gift! It's a gift from
above! Make you float like a dove!

1561
01:26:06,620 --> 01:26:10,488
Make you scream like Michael
in a rhinestone glove. Lord, lord, lord.

1562
01:26:13,085 --> 01:26:15,201
- Popcorn player.
- Popcorn player.

1563
01:26:19,841 --> 01:26:21,251
I didn't inhale!

1564
01:26:22,302 --> 01:26:25,009
God, this is
the wildest time I've ever had.

1565
01:26:25,639 --> 01:26:28,927
You won't mind that
I'm banging your daughter on the regular?

1566
01:26:29,017 --> 01:26:30,348
No, no! Not at all.

1567
01:26:30,435 --> 01:26:32,596
Good, because Jamal's
gonna be my baby daddy.

1568
01:26:34,439 --> 01:26:36,270
Son, welcome to the family.

1569
01:26:36,358 --> 01:26:37,438
Daddy!

1570
01:26:39,861 --> 01:26:43,149
Silas, your experiment
was a success.

1571
01:26:43,240 --> 01:26:47,609
Your serum worked and
you're going to get an "a" in my course.

1572
01:26:47,703 --> 01:26:49,614
So that means I get to stay?

1573
01:26:49,705 --> 01:26:50,705
You betchal

1574
01:26:54,543 --> 01:26:55,578
right, ladies?

1575
01:26:56,128 --> 01:26:57,584
Shall we, ladies?

1576
01:26:58,505 --> 01:27:01,212
Bart: Hey, down here!
This is not happening!

1577
01:27:01,299 --> 01:27:03,836
Lauren, you are coming with me!

1578
01:27:04,594 --> 01:27:07,586
Honey, you have
never satisfied me.

1579
01:27:08,098 --> 01:27:09,098
Huh?

1580
01:27:09,725 --> 01:27:10,931
Silas?

1581
01:27:11,685 --> 01:27:13,641
But I can.

1582
01:27:23,613 --> 01:27:25,524
The day you lay off
is the day you pay off.

1583
01:27:25,615 --> 01:27:28,527
We come in here to get our old bitches,
but if they ain't in here

1584
01:27:28,618 --> 01:27:31,781
we gonna get those intellect bitches
and start our own new stable. Feel me?

1585
01:27:31,872 --> 01:27:35,205
Just keep it pimpalicious.
Keep it pimpalicious!

1586
01:27:35,292 --> 01:27:36,572
Powder, what are you doing here?

1587
01:27:36,626 --> 01:27:38,491
What are you doing in here?

1588
01:27:38,587 --> 01:27:41,044
I've been rolling
this joint for 20 years.

1589
01:27:41,131 --> 01:27:44,544
But if these people knew
I was using your dial-a-ho service,

1590
01:27:44,634 --> 01:27:46,420
they might not understand.

1591
01:27:46,511 --> 01:27:49,548
You're one of my biggest customers.
You like them hand-jobs,

1592
01:27:49,639 --> 01:27:51,550
fat bitches pissing
on you all the time.

1593
01:27:51,641 --> 01:27:52,756
I like the ladies.

1594
01:27:52,851 --> 01:27:54,807
Licking poodle feet and shit.

1595
01:27:54,895 --> 01:27:57,386
Stop it right there.
Have you ever been to college?

1596
01:27:57,481 --> 01:27:59,312
Yeah, two years pussyology.

1597
01:27:59,399 --> 01:28:01,014
Academia. I like it.

1598
01:28:01,109 --> 01:28:04,442
Give me a call next week.
I think we can work something out.

1599
01:28:05,530 --> 01:28:09,694
Today's class is called
pimpology I and ii. I'm one, that's two.

1600
01:28:09,785 --> 01:28:14,279
That's what your ass
will be if you don't pass this class.

1601
01:28:14,372 --> 01:28:17,079
It got to come out right!
And if it don't come out right,

1602
01:28:17,167 --> 01:28:18,623
you ain't gonna get
to pimp tonight!

1603
01:28:18,710 --> 01:28:19,790
Where my hitches?

1604
01:28:19,878 --> 01:28:21,038
Students: Where my bitches?

1605
01:28:21,129 --> 01:28:22,619
Come on with it,

1606
01:28:23,048 --> 01:28:25,414
and let it fly!

1607
01:28:27,010 --> 01:28:28,750
Not yourselves!

1608
01:28:28,845 --> 01:28:30,460
Shit!

1609
01:28:30,555 --> 01:28:32,796
That was deep! That was deep.

1610
01:28:34,601 --> 01:28:36,057
Man: And b-cam roll.

1611
01:28:36,144 --> 01:28:37,600
Woman: "B" marker.

1612
01:28:38,021 --> 01:28:39,181
Cut!

1613
01:28:39,689 --> 01:28:42,977
And another thing,
I forgot my motherfucking line!

1614
01:28:43,360 --> 01:28:47,524
Yo, stop doing that shit, dog.
You can't be laughing at me, man.

1615
01:28:47,614 --> 01:28:49,070
Fuck my close-up up, nigger.

1616
01:28:49,157 --> 01:28:51,819
They know
we stole the... what is that?

1617
01:28:52,953 --> 01:28:56,662
I knew it.
You guys and your lies.

1618
01:28:57,958 --> 01:28:59,185
Method man:
Can I get some pussy?

1619
01:28:59,209 --> 01:29:00,540
Sure. Come on in.

1620
01:29:00,627 --> 01:29:02,709
I told you
we should have went to ucla.

1621
01:29:02,796 --> 01:29:03,831
You know damn well,

1622
01:29:03,922 --> 01:29:07,130
I'm about to go
stick my dick in a thermos or something.

1623
01:29:07,801 --> 01:29:09,681
Puffs for purgatory
for everybody. Line them up!

1624
01:29:09,761 --> 01:29:10,801
Puffs for purgatory, baby!

1625
01:29:10,846 --> 01:29:13,303
Puffs for purgatory.

1626
01:29:13,390 --> 01:29:16,757
See each other no more.
I mean, the fucking around...

1627
01:29:17,477 --> 01:29:18,557
Ah, shit!

1628
01:29:31,616 --> 01:29:35,108
I pledge allegiance
to the pimp of the united pimps of America.

1629
01:29:36,705 --> 01:29:39,617
Come on, you fuckers!
Call action!

1630
01:29:41,626 --> 01:29:45,995
I don't give a fuck
if it breaks! You hear me? God damn it!

1631
01:29:46,089 --> 01:29:48,250
Turn that goddamn water off!

1632
01:29:48,633 --> 01:29:52,000
Cut! Cut! Cut!

1633
01:29:54,723 --> 01:29:55,758
Cut!

1634
01:29:56,725 --> 01:29:57,635
The movie's over!

1635
01:29:57,726 --> 01:30:00,634
Go home!

1636
01:30:00,729 --> 01:30:02,594
Why don't y'all wanna leave?