1
00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:17,868
What the fuck is your problem?

2
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:20,993
No disrespect, Silas.
My bumbaclot Johnson no working, see?

3
00:01:20,994 --> 00:01:23,535
- What?
- My rassclot true gashman.

4
00:01:23,536 --> 00:01:25,368
My dick won't stay thick, see?

5
00:01:25,369 --> 00:01:28,370
I think I got something for that.
Hold on.

6
00:01:29,704 --> 00:01:31,411
Girl,

7
00:01:31,412 --> 00:01:33,369
wake your ass up.

8
00:01:33,370 --> 00:01:35,371
Damn well you ain't sleeping.

9
00:01:38,205 --> 00:01:39,787
"Crabs,"

10
00:01:39,788 --> 00:01:41,747
"bad breath,"

11
00:01:41,748 --> 00:01:43,706
"limp dick." Ha!

12
00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:45,874
Got that dough?

13
00:01:48,166 --> 00:01:50,873
Will this make my drill sergeant
stand at attention?

14
00:01:50,874 --> 00:01:53,124
No, but it'll make you forget
your drill sergeant

15
00:01:53,125 --> 00:01:55,540
don't stand at attention.
Get at me in the morning.

16
00:01:55,541 --> 00:01:59,499
- Peace!
- Yo, Silas, my brother!

17
00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:01,917
Oh, shit, Mikey, hell no!

18
00:02:01,918 --> 00:02:03,876
Hey, come on, Silas,

19
00:02:03,877 --> 00:02:06,626
I need something to help me out.

20
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:09,919
Yeah, rehab, mouthwash,
and a job application.

21
00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:11,085
Jeez.

22
00:02:11,086 --> 00:02:14,460
I'm starting to recognize things.

23
00:02:14,461 --> 00:02:17,003
That's 'cause you coming down
off a three month crack binge.

24
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:19,252
It's called reality, son.
Later, man.

25
00:02:19,253 --> 00:02:22,629
Wait, wait, Silas!
You got anything for a head wound?

26
00:02:22,630 --> 00:02:24,921
Man, ain't nothing wrong with your head.

27
00:02:28,923 --> 00:02:31,254
There is now.

28
00:02:33,340 --> 00:02:34,924
Fucking crackhead.

29
00:02:36,215 --> 00:02:37,882
Now what?

30
00:02:37,883 --> 00:02:40,256
- Oh, shit, ive.
- What's up, dog?

31
00:02:43,634 --> 00:02:46,424
- What's up, nigger?
- What's cracking?

32
00:02:46,425 --> 00:02:49,050
Ain't shit, you know.

33
00:02:49,051 --> 00:02:51,842
You get my message
about going to the jets game?

34
00:02:51,843 --> 00:02:53,300
Yo, I wish I could, dog.

35
00:02:53,301 --> 00:02:55,635
But I got this shorty
coming through tonight.

36
00:02:55,636 --> 00:02:57,468
Met her on the Internet.
Chickenheads.Com.

37
00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,301
This girl is banging.

38
00:02:59,302 --> 00:03:01,802
Yo, we even exchanged
pictures and everything.

39
00:03:01,803 --> 00:03:04,844
- Damn, this look like your last girlfriend.
- Mm-hmm.

40
00:03:04,845 --> 00:03:06,970
And did your picture have that nasty

41
00:03:06,971 --> 00:03:09,762
al b. Sure pubic patch in it, motherfucker?

42
00:03:09,763 --> 00:03:11,386
This just sprang up.

43
00:03:11,387 --> 00:03:13,096
You know what I think it is?

44
00:03:13,097 --> 00:03:14,804
It's the Mark of Buddha.

45
00:03:14,805 --> 00:03:17,180
And your haircut game is fucked up.

46
00:03:17,181 --> 00:03:19,680
Girlfriend see that,
she going to shit on you.

47
00:03:19,681 --> 00:03:22,680
This girl is different. All she
cares about is Kevin costner movies.

48
00:03:22,681 --> 00:03:25,514
I'm going to let kev
do the foreplay, right?

49
00:03:25,515 --> 00:03:29,015
I figured I'd get something from the
garden of weeden to make it interesting.

50
00:03:29,016 --> 00:03:30,974
- Costner, huh?
- Uh-huh.

51
00:03:30,975 --> 00:03:33,515
- "Dances with wolves."
- "Field of dreams."

52
00:03:33,516 --> 00:03:35,767
That's a corny motherfucker.

53
00:03:35,768 --> 00:03:38,142
You going to need some strong shit
just to stay awake.

54
00:03:38,143 --> 00:03:40,184
- Come on.
- You're feeling me.

55
00:03:40,185 --> 00:03:42,601
That's a four-hour-movie-making
motherfucker.

56
00:03:42,602 --> 00:03:44,517
Ooh, what is this?

57
00:03:44,518 --> 00:03:47,060
- Huh?
- Ooh whee!

58
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:50,685
- You shouldn't have.
- I didn't. Get out of here.

59
00:03:50,686 --> 00:03:53,394
- Man, let me just grab a titty.
- Hell, no.

60
00:03:53,395 --> 00:03:55,770
- She wouldn't even know it was me.
- To hell with that.

61
00:03:55,771 --> 00:03:57,603
What you got for me?

62
00:03:57,604 --> 00:03:59,021
Here you go.
The bomb.

63
00:03:59,022 --> 00:04:00,979
- Oh, yeah. What's this?
- Aaah!

64
00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:04,395
Whoa!
Stop touching stuff!

65
00:04:04,396 --> 00:04:07,855
- When are you getting some funds for this shit?
- See that right there?

66
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:10,230
That's a natural aphrodisiac.

67
00:04:10,231 --> 00:04:11,940
Come here, let me show you some more shit.

68
00:04:11,941 --> 00:04:13,648
Look right there?
See that?

69
00:04:13,649 --> 00:04:15,606
That's a painkiller.
Look under there, bro'.

70
00:04:15,607 --> 00:04:17,273
You see that?
Cure for blueballs.

71
00:04:17,274 --> 00:04:19,732
This ain't shit, all right?
Watch yourself.

72
00:04:19,733 --> 00:04:23,524
Yeah, well, your shit is raggedier
than a motherfucker, okay.

73
00:04:23,525 --> 00:04:24,983
If you took your head out these hos

74
00:04:24,984 --> 00:04:26,775
and put 'em in some books,

75
00:04:26,776 --> 00:04:28,234
you'd have that lab
you always talked about.

76
00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:30,734
Half those books is filled with bullshit.

77
00:04:30,735 --> 00:04:33,359
The other half lies, alright.
See what I'm saying?

78
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,401
I got to give pops his medicine, man.

79
00:04:35,402 --> 00:04:37,401
I'm hungrier than four dudes.

80
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:40,236
Hey, I'm hungrier than five.

81
00:04:40,237 --> 00:04:42,736
Well, who is you and what
you doing in my house?

82
00:04:42,737 --> 00:04:44,319
I went for "pork chops o'chunky."

83
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,362
Whether you're black,
or honky, or in-between,

84
00:04:46,363 --> 00:04:49,487
you'll love "pork chops o'chunky."
Man, that's mean.

85
00:04:49,488 --> 00:04:52,197
- So what's in this stuff?
- Man, nothing but pork.

86
00:04:52,198 --> 00:04:54,446
Wow, right on, then!

87
00:04:54,447 --> 00:04:58,822
- There you go.
- You're scared to answer your calling.

88
00:04:58,823 --> 00:05:00,906
Man, what calling?

89
00:05:07,616 --> 00:05:09,991
You got an opportunity
to do something here...

90
00:05:09,992 --> 00:05:12,116
That the drug companies would never do.

91
00:05:12,117 --> 00:05:15,242
Let's put the power of healing
back into the hands of the common man.

92
00:05:15,243 --> 00:05:16,992
Hey, whatever, man.
What you need to do

93
00:05:16,993 --> 00:05:19,450
is concentrate on getting
the power of Booty

94
00:05:19,451 --> 00:05:22,618
into the hands of your common ass.
That's what the hell you need to do.

95
00:05:22,619 --> 00:05:24,993
Don't worry about the ive.
I got mine coming tonight.

96
00:05:24,994 --> 00:05:28,327
- Woman: Hey, Silas!
- You see the ass on the red one?

97
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:31,662
- Simple.
- Just remember to take them thcs.

98
00:05:31,663 --> 00:05:33,662
At least try to get into college.

99
00:05:33,663 --> 00:05:35,829
Working in a real lab,
making some real money.

100
00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:38,663
Okay, ive, whatever, man.

101
00:05:38,664 --> 00:05:41,412
- If you say so, bro'.
- The world is bigger than staten island.

102
00:05:41,413 --> 00:05:43,831
I'm out.

103
00:05:47,331 --> 00:05:49,831
- Holler at me.
- I'll try to.

104
00:05:49,832 --> 00:05:51,623
- What's up, ladies?
- Yo, si,

105
00:05:51,624 --> 00:05:54,331
if I got hit by a bus tomorrow,
I got your back.

106
00:05:54,332 --> 00:05:56,666
If anything happened to me,
or I jumped out a window

107
00:05:56,667 --> 00:05:59,208
and my hair caught on fire,
I got your back, dog.

108
00:05:59,209 --> 00:06:01,750
If my ex came after me
with a knife and stabbed me,

109
00:06:01,751 --> 00:06:04,625
- I got your back!
- You talk too much, ive.

110
00:06:04,626 --> 00:06:06,584
- Peace!
- Yo, Silas!

111
00:06:06,585 --> 00:06:08,710
You'd better take those college exams!

112
00:06:10,044 --> 00:06:12,502
Woman: Look at Jamal, he's a good boy, huh?

113
00:06:12,503 --> 00:06:15,877
Good boy, my ass.
I had to cancel my nail appointment

114
00:06:15,878 --> 00:06:18,920
to pick him up at the precinct last week.

115
00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:21,253
- Momma, they lying.
- They lying?

116
00:06:21,254 --> 00:06:24,213
- They found the weed on you, didn't they?
- It wasn't mine.

117
00:06:24,214 --> 00:06:27,963
Then what is this that
I found in your bedroom?

118
00:06:27,964 --> 00:06:30,672
Hello.
Ma, it is a lamp.

119
00:06:30,673 --> 00:06:34,047
And this is where you turn it on at.
Excuse me?

120
00:06:34,048 --> 00:06:35,840
Head.

121
00:06:41,341 --> 00:06:44,715
Now, where did I go wrong with your ass?

122
00:06:44,716 --> 00:06:46,840
You going to have to take that thc test

123
00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:48,299
and get into a four-year college

124
00:06:48,300 --> 00:06:50,258
or I'm just cut you off from this family.

125
00:06:50,259 --> 00:06:53,926
You are the first member of this family

126
00:06:53,927 --> 00:06:56,093
to go to college.

127
00:06:56,094 --> 00:06:58,425
But six years at a
two-year community college

128
00:06:58,426 --> 00:07:00,260
is not what I had in mind.

129
00:07:00,261 --> 00:07:02,927
- Both: Tell the truth.
- I got a dream that one day

130
00:07:02,928 --> 00:07:04,886
I can put your college diploma here

131
00:07:04,887 --> 00:07:07,178
under my Jesus, who's master of this house,

132
00:07:07,179 --> 00:07:10,845
next to your brother's
prison-issue barber certificate

133
00:07:10,846 --> 00:07:13,303
and your sister's weave-master degree.

134
00:07:13,304 --> 00:07:15,262
Now don't disappoint me.

135
00:07:15,263 --> 00:07:18,097
You weed smoking,
three-day-wearing nasty ass.

136
00:07:18,098 --> 00:07:20,138
Just like your father.

137
00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:23,764
Why you always talking to me
like that in front of company?

138
00:07:23,765 --> 00:07:25,931
These bitches ain't nobody.

139
00:07:25,932 --> 00:07:28,140
Now go warm me up some
"pork chops o'chunky."

140
00:07:28,141 --> 00:07:31,473
- Is that all, momma?
- Wash your nasty ass!

141
00:07:31,474 --> 00:07:34,307
Is that all, momma?

142
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:39,643
You the man.

143
00:07:40,810 --> 00:07:45,103
- What's up, baby?
- Oh, hell no!

144
00:07:46,477 --> 00:07:49,227
I didn't know you had dreads!
And what is that?

145
00:07:49,228 --> 00:07:52,435
Brother just got extensions put in today.
They tight, huh?

146
00:07:52,436 --> 00:07:55,061
Where?
Between your eyes?

147
00:07:55,062 --> 00:07:58,104
- What the hell is that?
- It's the Mark of Buddha.

148
00:07:58,105 --> 00:08:00,478
It's the skidmark of Buddha!

149
00:08:00,479 --> 00:08:03,146
Looks like he took a dump
in the middle of your face!

150
00:08:03,147 --> 00:08:06,188
- I don't think this is gonna work out.
- Hold on, now!

151
00:08:06,189 --> 00:08:09,855
Why are you doing this? I rented "field
of dreams" and "dances with wolves."

152
00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:12,897
Nigger, you are a wolf.

153
00:08:12,898 --> 00:08:15,816
Chocolate diva!
Nubian goddess!

154
00:08:16,691 --> 00:08:20,108
I'm taking you off my buddy list, bitch!

155
00:08:20,109 --> 00:08:22,899
I hope you get a virus!
You and your computer.

156
00:08:24,483 --> 00:08:27,441
Man: If you build it, they will come.

157
00:08:27,442 --> 00:08:29,358
Man #2: What you mean they'll come?

158
00:08:29,359 --> 00:08:31,359
Who's going to come to a fucking cornfield?

159
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:33,693
Who's going to cut the grass?

160
00:08:33,694 --> 00:08:36,401
I know you don't expect me to sell
no peanuts out there, bitch.

161
00:08:36,402 --> 00:08:39,318
Shit remind me of slavery.
"Roots" and shit, man.

162
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:41,277
I don't play this, man.

163
00:08:41,278 --> 00:08:44,444
- What was that? Annie!
- Crazy ho!

164
00:08:44,445 --> 00:08:47,987
Only way I'm coming is if you got
some females and some chronic.

165
00:08:47,988 --> 00:08:50,445
And then we all going to be coming.

166
00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:53,029
- That voice, what was it?
- We didn't hear anything!

167
00:08:53,030 --> 00:08:55,989
She got some nice titties, dog. Word.

168
00:08:55,990 --> 00:08:58,280
Child: What titties? What?

169
00:08:58,281 --> 00:09:00,739
Man #2: Okay, you must've heard that!

170
00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:02,739
Woman: It's a good baseball field, ray.

171
00:09:02,740 --> 00:09:05,073
Ray: It's kind of pretty.

172
00:09:05,074 --> 00:09:07,282
- I told you.
- You did not.

173
00:09:07,283 --> 00:09:09,824
- I did.
- No, you did not.

174
00:09:15,492 --> 00:09:17,743
Oh god! Oh!

175
00:09:26,494 --> 00:09:28,410
Silas: Mark of Buddha, my ass.

176
00:09:28,411 --> 00:09:30,744
Look at you now.
Dead. Ashes.

177
00:09:30,745 --> 00:09:32,911
Damn, ivory.

178
00:09:32,912 --> 00:09:34,661
After all these years of blazing,

179
00:09:34,662 --> 00:09:37,620
who would've thought the last thing
you'd wind up smoking

180
00:09:37,621 --> 00:09:41,038
would be your ass?
I'm gonna miss you, dog.

181
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:44,871
I'm going to be thinking about you
while I'm taking them thcs.

182
00:09:44,872 --> 00:09:46,580
And if you're really my boy,

183
00:09:46,581 --> 00:09:49,415
you'll make sure I pass
that motherfucker, you heard?

184
00:09:50,373 --> 00:09:51,831
Thanks, pops.

185
00:09:51,832 --> 00:09:54,832
What's up with that joint?
Can I get a little...

186
00:09:54,833 --> 00:09:57,415
Never mind.
Forget it.

187
00:09:57,416 --> 00:09:59,624
Bald-ass motherfucker.

188
00:09:59,625 --> 00:10:01,792
Stingy bastard.

189
00:10:03,001 --> 00:10:04,918
Shit.

190
00:10:06,459 --> 00:10:09,500
"Early girl."

191
00:10:09,501 --> 00:10:14,294
Ooh, ivory.
My how you've grown.

192
00:10:17,045 --> 00:10:19,044
Wow.

193
00:10:19,045 --> 00:10:21,628
Damn, ivory!

194
00:10:21,629 --> 00:10:24,670
I had no idea you could
stink so good, nigger!

195
00:10:24,671 --> 00:10:26,671
Jeez.

196
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:34,630
Man: Hey, man, get that car fixed!

197
00:10:34,631 --> 00:10:38,172
Blunt o'clock, boy.

198
00:10:47,175 --> 00:10:49,799
Man, get the fuck out of here.

199
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,633
Look at this little ass
bag of fucking weed.

200
00:10:54,634 --> 00:10:58,010
Yes, lord.

201
00:10:58,011 --> 00:10:59,719
Oooh. Damn!

202
00:11:03,886 --> 00:11:06,386
Oooh.

203
00:11:07,554 --> 00:11:09,887
Aw.

204
00:11:12,387 --> 00:11:13,929
Oh, oh!

205
00:11:13,930 --> 00:11:17,388
Oh! Oh, shit!
My weed!

206
00:11:19,055 --> 00:11:22,139
No cigar? No!

207
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,847
Fuck, fuck! Bitch!

208
00:11:33,349 --> 00:11:35,017
Got blunt?

209
00:11:36,475 --> 00:11:39,225
Got weed?

210
00:11:39,226 --> 00:11:42,309
That shit smell good as hell.
I'm Jamal.

211
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:43,475
Peace. Silas.

212
00:11:43,476 --> 00:11:45,184
So you trying to get something

213
00:11:45,185 --> 00:11:46,851
to bring them nerves down too, huh?

214
00:11:46,852 --> 00:11:49,560
I figured if I study high,
take the tests high,

215
00:11:49,561 --> 00:11:53,060
- I'll get high scores, right?
- Right.

216
00:11:53,061 --> 00:11:54,729
- Right.
- Right.

217
00:11:56,895 --> 00:12:00,562
- Look at that car.
- Is it on fire?

218
00:12:00,563 --> 00:12:03,438
Take that, son.

219
00:12:15,982 --> 00:12:18,274
Oh!

220
00:12:18,275 --> 00:12:20,648
Yo...

221
00:12:20,649 --> 00:12:23,649
- This is the shit.
- That shit is called the ivory shit.

222
00:12:23,650 --> 00:12:26,066
- It's the shit.
- That's the ivory right there.

223
00:12:26,067 --> 00:12:29,151
- Goddamn.
- Thanks.

224
00:12:29,152 --> 00:12:31,484
- Oops.
- Yo, pass that, kid.

225
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:35,235
I just gave it to the guy in the back, man.

226
00:12:35,236 --> 00:12:37,651
Guy in the back?
Fuck is he...?

227
00:12:37,652 --> 00:12:39,901
- What's up, dog?
- That's ivory.

228
00:12:39,902 --> 00:12:43,402
No, that's the ivory.
Damn.

229
00:12:43,403 --> 00:12:46,112
Ivory? Oh, shit!
You got to be kidding me!

230
00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:48,155
Yo, Silas!
Chill out! Silas!

231
00:12:49,030 --> 00:12:50,862
Word.

232
00:12:50,863 --> 00:12:52,696
What the fuck is going on?

233
00:12:52,697 --> 00:12:54,988
Ain't you supposed to be dead?

234
00:12:54,989 --> 00:12:57,613
I am dead. But this is what
happens when you smoke your boy.

235
00:12:57,614 --> 00:13:00,072
Holy shit.
Let me try that.

236
00:13:00,073 --> 00:13:02,655
Ivory: Relax. Can we talk
about this in your car?

237
00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:05,033
I know how you can get high scores.

238
00:13:10,616 --> 00:13:14,324
Ivory: I'm a ghost, ghost, ghost.

239
00:13:14,325 --> 00:13:17,950
- Now, don't touch me.
- It's me, dog.

240
00:13:17,951 --> 00:13:21,118
What are you doing? Running the
streets, fucking with the living?

241
00:13:21,119 --> 00:13:23,285
No, bro'.
I'm just here for you.

242
00:13:23,286 --> 00:13:25,993
People can only see me when they smoke me.

243
00:13:25,994 --> 00:13:29,410
I got all the answers.
I can consult with people.

244
00:13:29,411 --> 00:13:30,869
Socrates, Nietzsche,

245
00:13:30,870 --> 00:13:32,619
even the old dude who made this test.

246
00:13:32,620 --> 00:13:34,287
- That's bullshit.
- I bullshit you not.

247
00:13:34,288 --> 00:13:36,078
Remember, I told you I have your back...

248
00:13:36,079 --> 00:13:38,204
Even if I got hit by a bus.

249
00:13:38,205 --> 00:13:40,121
Matter of fact, your ass didn't
even get hit by a bus.

250
00:13:45,414 --> 00:13:46,830
I made it!

251
00:13:46,831 --> 00:13:50,415
I can't feel my legs, but I'm alive!

252
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,415
- And you predicted that shit.
- Yeah.

253
00:14:00,416 --> 00:14:02,583
So what are you doing here?

254
00:14:02,584 --> 00:14:05,083
Are you going to hook me up
with a chick with a no-gag reflex?

255
00:14:05,084 --> 00:14:07,834
Even better.
I'm going to be in there with you.

256
00:14:07,835 --> 00:14:11,210
By the time I'm done with you, every
college in the country will be knocking.

257
00:14:14,336 --> 00:14:17,543
Ow, shit.
Man, I must not be high enough.

258
00:14:17,544 --> 00:14:19,170
He a ghost, man.

259
00:14:19,171 --> 00:14:21,544
Cool.
That explains everything.

260
00:14:21,545 --> 00:14:25,545
I'm up here trying to put
my fucking hand through...

261
00:14:25,546 --> 00:14:29,420
We've never had anybody,
let alone two people

262
00:14:29,421 --> 00:14:31,255
get a perfect score.

263
00:14:31,256 --> 00:14:33,796
We either have a one
in six billion phenomenon,

264
00:14:33,797 --> 00:14:35,880
or a cheat.

265
00:14:35,881 --> 00:14:38,964
- Damn!
- It would've been impossible for either of you to cheat.

266
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:41,798
You had two totally different
versions of the test.

267
00:14:41,799 --> 00:14:44,049
Congratulations.
These scores are going

268
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,798
to get you into any college in the country.

269
00:14:46,799 --> 00:14:49,134
Yo, we still high on that ivory?

270
00:14:55,801 --> 00:14:58,842
Cain, it's as simple as this.

271
00:14:58,843 --> 00:15:01,135
The trustees at the
university are riding my ass

272
00:15:01,136 --> 00:15:03,593
about getting some color up at Harvard.

273
00:15:03,594 --> 00:15:05,969
- Excuse me?
- Ethnic diversity.

274
00:15:05,970 --> 00:15:08,136
The trustees seem to think we need it.

275
00:15:08,137 --> 00:15:10,928
- How come we don't have more minorities?
- How should I know?

276
00:15:10,929 --> 00:15:13,845
If we don't do something soon,
I might get fired.

277
00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:16,637
What about upchuck amalu?
He's eskimo.

278
00:15:16,638 --> 00:15:19,429
Why isn't he considered as a minority?
And I brought him in.

279
00:15:19,430 --> 00:15:22,388
Yes, but it's breaking the bank
keeping his igloo frozen.

280
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:25,306
Dean, what about those two guys
I read about from the tri-states?

281
00:15:25,307 --> 00:15:28,265
They made perfect scores on their thcs.

282
00:15:28,266 --> 00:15:31,474
I saw those guys' pictures.
They looked like mug shots!

283
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:36,016
I don't care.
I want them!

284
00:15:36,017 --> 00:15:38,183
At reparations technical institute,

285
00:15:38,184 --> 00:15:40,725
we offer a cornucopia of educational

286
00:15:40,726 --> 00:15:44,233
and business opportunities for brothers
and sisters to pursue higher learning.

287
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:45,536
- Read from the brochure.
- "Brothers, join us at

288
00:15:45,537 --> 00:15:48,351
reparations technical institute
and learn hatred for the white devil

289
00:15:48,352 --> 00:15:49,809
in a relaxed campus atmosphere,

290
00:15:49,810 --> 00:15:51,727
- where classes range..."
- From...

291
00:15:51,728 --> 00:15:53,643
- "Hatred for the white devil..."
- To...

292
00:15:53,644 --> 00:15:55,935
- "Advanced hatred for the white devil..."
- And...

293
00:15:55,936 --> 00:15:57,394
- "Volleyball."
- both: Next.

294
00:15:57,395 --> 00:15:59,936
You think you're all
hot tamales right now?

295
00:15:59,937 --> 00:16:02,187
Why don't you come
to the base and understand

296
00:16:02,188 --> 00:16:04,021
what it's really like to be special?

297
00:16:04,022 --> 00:16:05,562
You work hard, you learn,

298
00:16:05,563 --> 00:16:08,229
and then you can build
refrigerators and such.

299
00:16:08,230 --> 00:16:09,314
Next!

300
00:16:09,315 --> 00:16:11,272
Taking a vow of celibacy...

301
00:16:11,273 --> 00:16:12,730
- Next.
- Frees your mind...

302
00:16:12,731 --> 00:16:13,772
- Next.
- And your body.

303
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:14,981
Next!

304
00:16:14,982 --> 00:16:16,981
Harvard?!

305
00:16:16,982 --> 00:16:19,231
Ain't it a lot of richy people up there?

306
00:16:19,232 --> 00:16:22,191
Shit, I got to roll up that joint, dog.

307
00:16:22,192 --> 00:16:25,398
With test scores like these
you can roll up any joint you want.

308
00:16:25,399 --> 00:16:27,733
But Harvard, gentlemen,
is not just any joint.

309
00:16:27,734 --> 00:16:31,067
- It's an institution.
- All I want to do is develop my herbal

310
00:16:31,068 --> 00:16:34,359
in a real lab, and get some head
while I'm doing it.

311
00:16:36,777 --> 00:16:39,069
Well, we have the finest
botany department in the world

312
00:16:39,070 --> 00:16:41,693
and a quality of life like no other.

313
00:16:41,694 --> 00:16:45,278
Music, artists, and the women... mmm.

314
00:16:45,279 --> 00:16:48,944
So, does it sound tempting?
Ivy league atmosphere?

315
00:16:48,945 --> 00:16:51,987
A place where you can
really grow academically?

316
00:16:51,988 --> 00:16:55,446
- Sure, I'll fucks with ya.
- I'll fucks with you, too.

317
00:16:55,447 --> 00:16:57,696
- Is that good?
- Yes, that's a yes.

318
00:16:57,697 --> 00:16:59,447
Then we'll fox with each other.

319
00:17:11,449 --> 00:17:14,075
- Damn.
- Damn.

320
00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:17,407
Silas: Them hos look like
they still in high school, yo.

321
00:17:17,408 --> 00:17:20,700
If there's grass on the infield, play ball.

322
00:17:20,701 --> 00:17:23,284
Where the fuck is orientation at, anyway?

323
00:17:23,285 --> 00:17:26,826
Both: Da-amn.

324
00:17:26,827 --> 00:17:28,994
Hey!

325
00:17:29,995 --> 00:17:32,661
- What the fuck was that?
- Je-sus!

326
00:17:34,495 --> 00:17:37,828
If I could pull off six years
out of community college,

327
00:17:37,829 --> 00:17:40,828
I know I could get a least
12 years up in this motherfucker.

328
00:17:42,413 --> 00:17:44,662
How much of that ivory we got, anyway?

329
00:17:44,663 --> 00:17:47,455
We limited, all right? So we're
going to have to split this shit up.

330
00:17:47,456 --> 00:17:50,580
You know what I'm saying?
We only Blaze at test times.

331
00:17:50,581 --> 00:17:53,832
- What, no wake and bake?
- I got other stuff for that.

332
00:17:56,791 --> 00:18:00,415
Bart, remember those
artifacts I found this summer?

333
00:18:00,416 --> 00:18:03,041
I was right!
They are Ben Franklin's!

334
00:18:03,042 --> 00:18:06,209
Great. Did you figure out
where you want to eat dinner tonight?

335
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:09,708
Dinner?
Bart, some of these things are...

336
00:18:09,709 --> 00:18:11,584
They look like earlier inventions.

337
00:18:11,585 --> 00:18:13,876
And if I can discover what these are,

338
00:18:13,877 --> 00:18:16,460
it could be the greatest find
of anyone attending Harvard.

339
00:18:16,461 --> 00:18:20,086
I loves Ben Franklin, girl,
and I could listen to you

340
00:18:20,087 --> 00:18:24,087
talk about his stinking ass all day long.

341
00:18:24,088 --> 00:18:28,338
- Excuse me?
- Do anybody know where the financial aid office is?

342
00:18:28,339 --> 00:18:30,504
Well, my man, let me think.

343
00:18:30,505 --> 00:18:33,588
See that statue right there?
It's beautiful, isn't it?

344
00:18:33,589 --> 00:18:36,505
That statue is in the likeness
of my great grandaddy dooster.

345
00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:39,172
So I'm guessing that
would be the dooster house.

346
00:18:39,173 --> 00:18:43,090
The financial aid office.
Gee, I don't think

347
00:18:43,091 --> 00:18:45,924
I've ever met anyone who
actually needed to go there.

348
00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:48,257
All we did was come over
and ask for directions.

349
00:18:48,258 --> 00:18:51,258
If we came over here and asked
if anybody needed their ass kicked,

350
00:18:51,259 --> 00:18:53,424
you wouldn't sound
so fucking smart, would you?

351
00:18:53,425 --> 00:18:57,093
My bad, bro'. We got off on the wrong foot.
Let's start over.

352
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:59,176
- I'm Bart.
- I'm Jamal.

353
00:18:59,177 --> 00:19:02,218
My friend, this is crew,
but don't even think about it.

354
00:19:02,219 --> 00:19:04,802
You don't look like
you could hang, Jermaine.

355
00:19:04,803 --> 00:19:07,676
The name's Jamal,
and I'll fuck your crew up.

356
00:19:07,677 --> 00:19:09,761
Who are they?
Who are they, goddamn it?

357
00:19:09,762 --> 00:19:11,261
It's rowing, Jimmy-jam.

358
00:19:11,262 --> 00:19:14,054
Well, Bart-fart, you got skills in it?

359
00:19:14,055 --> 00:19:15,970
Yeah, I'm captain of the team.

360
00:19:15,971 --> 00:19:18,553
- If you can do it, I can do it, sucker.
- That's right.

361
00:19:18,554 --> 00:19:21,513
This isn't basketball, j-rock.

362
00:19:21,514 --> 00:19:23,596
I trained all year round for three seasons

363
00:19:23,597 --> 00:19:25,471
to make number one in single sculls.

364
00:19:25,472 --> 00:19:28,597
You about to be number two,
'cause I'm signing up, buddy.

365
00:19:28,598 --> 00:19:30,722
Practice starts tomorrow, 6:00 am. A'ight?

366
00:19:30,723 --> 00:19:35,473
Fine. I don't mind cutting
my evening short to be there.

367
00:19:35,474 --> 00:19:37,308
As Dean of freshmen,

368
00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:40,016
I have welcomed students
from all over the world.

369
00:19:40,017 --> 00:19:44,433
From Korea, from Rome, Istanbul.

370
00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:46,683
Students enter Harvard

371
00:19:46,684 --> 00:19:49,185
with a variety of goals.

372
00:19:49,186 --> 00:19:52,393
Excuse me?
Are we in the right place?

373
00:19:52,394 --> 00:19:55,602
- Anyone? Anyone? Anyone?
- You? You?

374
00:19:55,603 --> 00:19:58,936
As I was saying,

375
00:19:58,937 --> 00:20:01,520
Harvard isn't for everyone.

376
00:20:01,521 --> 00:20:04,520
Oh, shit.
We got a black man for a teacher.

377
00:20:04,521 --> 00:20:06,771
That's what I'm talking 'bout!
What's up, bro'?

378
00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:08,855
- We straight.
- Holler!

379
00:20:10,647 --> 00:20:13,189
- As I was saying...
- What's wrong with his ass?

380
00:20:13,190 --> 00:20:15,397
He probably been locked up
more times than me

381
00:20:15,398 --> 00:20:17,605
- and your ass put together.
- Get him.

382
00:20:17,606 --> 00:20:20,439
That old, green, Jimmy the cricket
suit-wearing ass motherfucker.

383
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,941
- Get him!
- Old, short, Colin Powell haircut-having motherfucker.

384
00:20:23,942 --> 00:20:27,899
- Get him!
- Angela Davis moustache wearing-ass motherfucker.

385
00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:30,608
You little Richard pryor shortcut fade

386
00:20:30,609 --> 00:20:33,691
happening 'round the sides
wearing motherfucker!

387
00:20:33,692 --> 00:20:37,609
You little Sammy Davis award junior afro
haircut having-ass motherfucker!

388
00:20:37,610 --> 00:20:41,111
- Get him!
- You little dynamite disco daddy devastating.

389
00:20:41,112 --> 00:20:44,236
- Get him!
- You little Don Cornelius with a haircut...

390
00:20:44,237 --> 00:20:48,112
Gentlemen, if you don't mind,
I'd like you to sit down.

391
00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:49,903
I would like to continue.

392
00:20:49,904 --> 00:20:54,279
- Excuse me.
- 'Scuse me.

393
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:55,946
Jamal: Watch your toes.
Watch the corns.

394
00:20:55,947 --> 00:20:58,571
Excuse me.

395
00:20:58,572 --> 00:21:02,114
Thank you for your...
entertaining anecdotes.

396
00:21:02,115 --> 00:21:06,739
We here at Harvard are rooted in tradition.

397
00:21:06,740 --> 00:21:09,073
Fuck is this?

398
00:21:09,074 --> 00:21:11,157
That's toilet water.

399
00:21:11,158 --> 00:21:13,907
It's a part of my pledge.
Do you guys mind?

400
00:21:13,908 --> 00:21:16,408
No. But do you mind talking that way,

401
00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:18,699
'cause your breath smell
like straight ass-crack, bro'.

402
00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:21,867
Isn't there a hip-hop convention
you two should be at?

403
00:21:21,868 --> 00:21:23,409
- Ooooh.
- Oooh.

404
00:21:23,410 --> 00:21:26,409
- Shark has fangs.
- Word. Go easy on him.

405
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:29,868
We probably the only blackheads he's seen
since he looked in the mirror.

406
00:21:29,869 --> 00:21:32,285
Can you guys just show
a little respect? Jeez.

407
00:21:32,286 --> 00:21:34,452
This class is fucking boring,
I'm out of here.

408
00:21:34,453 --> 00:21:36,577
Excuse me, did I hear you say something?

409
00:21:36,578 --> 00:21:38,328
With all due respect, sir, suck my dick.

410
00:21:39,955 --> 00:21:43,287
No, sir, I'm not saying anything.

411
00:21:43,288 --> 00:21:46,247
- It's these guys.
- Silas: You're an asshole.

412
00:21:46,248 --> 00:21:48,913
- Did you just call me an asshole?
- No, I said idiot.

413
00:21:48,914 --> 00:21:51,705
- An idiot?!
- No, sir! No, sir!

414
00:21:51,706 --> 00:21:54,455
- What did you say?
- I said this school has nice halls.

415
00:21:54,456 --> 00:21:57,623
- This is not funny.
- You couldn't teach your way out of kindergarten class.

416
00:21:57,624 --> 00:22:00,207
I think we've had enough
interruptions for today.

417
00:22:00,208 --> 00:22:02,959
- I think you should leave.
- Sir.

418
00:22:04,417 --> 00:22:06,834
This would never have
happened if I were black.

419
00:22:11,085 --> 00:22:13,000
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

420
00:22:13,001 --> 00:22:14,960
Better pull back on those pedals, boy.

421
00:22:14,961 --> 00:22:18,168
- Why?
- Maximum speed on campus is 15 mphs.

422
00:22:18,169 --> 00:22:20,003
Mphs?

423
00:22:21,129 --> 00:22:23,836
50 bucks?
Man, I can't pay this.

424
00:22:23,837 --> 00:22:26,461
- Well...
- This isn't even a real ticket.

425
00:22:26,462 --> 00:22:28,753
It's a student citation.
See, I'm a volunteer.

426
00:22:28,754 --> 00:22:31,296
You need to pay that by Friday at fi...

427
00:22:31,297 --> 00:22:34,587
- That was uncalled for.
- Eat me.

428
00:22:34,588 --> 00:22:38,173
- You just earned another citation.
- Fuck off!

429
00:22:39,423 --> 00:22:43,382
Well, well, well.

430
00:22:43,383 --> 00:22:45,965
Look who we have here.

431
00:22:45,966 --> 00:22:47,881
Damn, this bike phat as hell.

432
00:22:47,882 --> 00:22:50,465
Whoa, whoa, hey, don't touch.
Okay, all right.

433
00:22:50,466 --> 00:22:52,757
Leave the bike alone.
Did you just call me fat?

434
00:22:52,758 --> 00:22:54,758
And what is that stench?

435
00:22:56,676 --> 00:22:58,550
That's my Cologne.
Cannabi for men.

436
00:22:58,551 --> 00:23:01,301
I don't know what that is.
Forewarning, gentlemen.

437
00:23:01,302 --> 00:23:03,634
You better watch your
mouths and your behinds.

438
00:23:03,635 --> 00:23:06,760
I'm looking for the ecstasy.
I'm looking for the pot.

439
00:23:06,761 --> 00:23:09,593
Oh, yeah. I'm looking for those 'shrooms.

440
00:23:09,594 --> 00:23:12,387
- We looking for that shit, too!
- Hell yeah.

441
00:23:12,388 --> 00:23:15,469
- What are you talking about?
- Both: Same thing you talking about.

442
00:23:15,470 --> 00:23:18,388
- What are we talking about?
- Look, Gerald,

443
00:23:18,389 --> 00:23:21,720
either you're holding, or you can get on
your roadster and move the fuck on.

444
00:23:21,721 --> 00:23:24,139
It's volunteer officer picklestein.

445
00:23:24,140 --> 00:23:26,596
And I am watching you.
Oh, I'm watching you.

446
00:23:26,597 --> 00:23:28,556
Like a hawk.

447
00:23:29,391 --> 00:23:31,639
Like a hawk!

448
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,266
Somebody needs a hug.

449
00:23:37,350 --> 00:23:40,934
Don't worry, baby, you can
suck my dick after class.

450
00:23:42,475 --> 00:23:44,516
Oh, wow!
She wants me.

451
00:23:44,517 --> 00:23:47,600
Welcome to lovell house.
You look funky fresh.

452
00:23:47,601 --> 00:23:51,601
And funky fresh always
likes funky fresh women.

453
00:23:53,019 --> 00:23:56,977
"Amir, professional student,
resident advisor for you."

454
00:23:56,978 --> 00:23:58,395
And professional player.

455
00:23:58,396 --> 00:24:00,936
So what's mine is yours,
and what's yours...

456
00:24:00,937 --> 00:24:02,436
I've probably already had.

457
00:24:02,437 --> 00:24:05,812
You and you and me, we're the same.

458
00:24:05,813 --> 00:24:07,271
Africa tan.

459
00:24:07,272 --> 00:24:09,813
The original man was like us, man.

460
00:24:09,814 --> 00:24:11,604
Whatever, nigger.

461
00:24:11,605 --> 00:24:14,521
I believe in the fly club
and its traditions and its ideals.

462
00:24:14,522 --> 00:24:16,730
I believe in the fly...
Excuse me?

463
00:24:16,731 --> 00:24:19,064
Do you have to play that so loud?
I'm studying my pledge book.

464
00:24:19,065 --> 00:24:21,523
This niggaz with attitude.

465
00:24:21,524 --> 00:24:24,815
If you smart, you tell people you love nwa.

466
00:24:24,816 --> 00:24:26,816
They think you cool.

467
00:24:28,984 --> 00:24:31,524
Why do you wear smelly eggs?

468
00:24:31,525 --> 00:24:33,859
These eggs are part of my pledging.

469
00:24:33,860 --> 00:24:36,650
I am getting thousands of
lifetime connections here.

470
00:24:36,651 --> 00:24:38,526
I'm going to be a part of a fraternity.

471
00:24:38,527 --> 00:24:39,860
- Hey!
- Hey!

472
00:24:39,861 --> 00:24:41,318
Whassup, whassup?

473
00:24:41,319 --> 00:24:44,987
- Oh god.
- One glove, my brothers!

474
00:24:46,028 --> 00:24:48,819
I am tuan, child prodigy.

475
00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:51,155
I'm Jamal, a pothead.

476
00:24:51,988 --> 00:24:54,486
Silas, entre-po-negro.

477
00:24:54,487 --> 00:24:58,363
Jamal!
Fresh gear, man!

478
00:24:58,364 --> 00:24:59,946
- You like?
- Yeah!

479
00:24:59,947 --> 00:25:02,697
I designed it myself.
I call it bufu.

480
00:25:02,698 --> 00:25:05,364
- Bufu?
- Oh, no, not you two.

481
00:25:05,365 --> 00:25:06,822
Please.

482
00:25:06,823 --> 00:25:09,698
Fake-ass Paul bunyan plaid,
pussy shirt wearing...

483
00:25:09,699 --> 00:25:12,365
Man, I'll fuck your ass up.
Shut up.

484
00:25:12,366 --> 00:25:13,866
Okay, but if you two are our roommates,

485
00:25:13,867 --> 00:25:16,283
who's that?

486
00:25:16,284 --> 00:25:18,868
That's "I need money."
Goddamn.

487
00:25:20,951 --> 00:25:23,201
Okay, but what's his name?

488
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:27,535
I need money.

489
00:25:29,869 --> 00:25:31,244
Doesn't talk, how come he?

490
00:25:31,245 --> 00:25:33,785
I need money?
He's a mute.

491
00:25:33,786 --> 00:25:36,412
When we first hooked up,
he wrote on a slip of paper,

492
00:25:36,413 --> 00:25:38,162
"I need money."

493
00:25:38,163 --> 00:25:40,578
I said, "shit, me too."

494
00:25:40,579 --> 00:25:43,079
And we started making
it together after that.

495
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,996
- Where he staying?
- Harvard.

496
00:25:45,997 --> 00:25:49,414
Lovell house.
Second floor,

497
00:25:49,415 --> 00:25:51,538
right on the couch.

498
00:25:51,539 --> 00:25:54,331
He's smoking in our room.
That's not legal.

499
00:25:54,332 --> 00:25:57,914
Just be cool, and you might have
some fun this semester.

500
00:25:57,915 --> 00:26:00,707
- Stupid.
- Whoo-wee.

501
00:26:00,708 --> 00:26:04,082
Nwa? Kid, what you know about that?

502
00:26:04,083 --> 00:26:06,917
Yeah, I love niggaz with attitude.

503
00:26:08,834 --> 00:26:11,251
Nobody, I repeat nobody,

504
00:26:11,252 --> 00:26:13,293
drops the n-bomb up in here.

505
00:26:13,294 --> 00:26:15,376
- Nobody.
- That go for you, too.

506
00:26:15,377 --> 00:26:18,543
Hey, I am down with you, man.

507
00:26:18,544 --> 00:26:22,085
You east coast.
I far east coast.

508
00:26:22,086 --> 00:26:24,295
I'm from Wisconsin.

509
00:26:24,296 --> 00:26:26,502
Yo, fresh and funky.

510
00:26:26,503 --> 00:26:28,670
Dean Cain wants to see you in his office.

511
00:26:28,671 --> 00:26:30,588
Don't be late.

512
00:26:32,255 --> 00:26:34,422
Gentlemen, this institution

513
00:26:34,423 --> 00:26:38,130
has graduated countless fortune 500 CEOs.

514
00:26:38,131 --> 00:26:41,339
41 nobel laureates, and six presidents.

515
00:26:41,340 --> 00:26:43,797
Hey, Dean, where's all the fly-ass women

516
00:26:43,798 --> 00:26:45,965
the chancellor was talking about?

517
00:26:45,966 --> 00:26:49,257
So far, I only seen
some stuck-up,

518
00:26:49,258 --> 00:26:51,466
nerdy-ass looking women out.

519
00:27:03,010 --> 00:27:06,135
You were dropping cheetos

520
00:27:06,136 --> 00:27:08,468
on an original 18th century

521
00:27:08,469 --> 00:27:10,011
hand woven tapestry!

522
00:27:10,012 --> 00:27:12,219
You mean this carpet?

523
00:27:12,220 --> 00:27:15,012
This is out of my personal collection.

524
00:27:15,013 --> 00:27:17,595
I got this in my travels to Nepal!

525
00:27:17,596 --> 00:27:19,220
I know the bitch that makes these rugs.

526
00:27:19,221 --> 00:27:21,512
- You know wynena...
- I remember that bitch.

527
00:27:21,513 --> 00:27:23,512
It means the world to me.

528
00:27:23,513 --> 00:27:25,846
Now, as I was saying,

529
00:27:25,847 --> 00:27:29,222
here at Harvard, we have
very high standards.

530
00:27:29,223 --> 00:27:31,680
Any student on a scholarship

531
00:27:31,681 --> 00:27:34,890
must maintain at least a 2.0 average

532
00:27:34,891 --> 00:27:36,473
or you will be expelled.

533
00:27:36,474 --> 00:27:39,016
It's good to know we have
the support of the faculty.

534
00:27:39,017 --> 00:27:42,057
And don't you worry.
Me and Jamal here?

535
00:27:42,058 --> 00:27:44,766
- We're all about good grades.
- Is that right, Mr. King?

536
00:27:44,767 --> 00:27:49,059
Hell motherf...
I mean, yes, sir, Dean Cain, sir.

537
00:28:09,022 --> 00:28:12,104
How is carbon dioxide changed into oxygen?

538
00:28:12,105 --> 00:28:14,898
- Silas: Plants, dick!
- Guys!

539
00:28:16,981 --> 00:28:19,564
Jamal, Jamal, Jamal.

540
00:28:19,565 --> 00:28:21,856
Sleepyhead, wake up.

541
00:28:27,275 --> 00:28:29,608
I got something for your ass.

542
00:29:16,783 --> 00:29:20,492
Come on, gentlemen! Pick it up if
you want to be part of this squad!

543
00:29:22,534 --> 00:29:24,493
Taxi!

544
00:29:27,952 --> 00:29:30,618
Woo, what took you all guys so long?

545
00:29:30,619 --> 00:29:33,869
Coach, I've not lost an
oar run in three years.

546
00:29:33,870 --> 00:29:36,577
- I'm wondering if this guy cheated.
- Cheated?

547
00:29:36,578 --> 00:29:37,994
Man, fuck you!

548
00:29:37,995 --> 00:29:40,786
Why is fucking dick
butt-kiss always riding me?

549
00:29:40,787 --> 00:29:44,495
Dick butt-kiss?
Did you hear that, coach?
He's cursing!

550
00:29:44,496 --> 00:29:47,163
Bart, I think you better
go open up the boathouse.

551
00:29:47,164 --> 00:29:48,621
- But coach!
- Bart!

552
00:29:48,622 --> 00:29:50,538
I don't think you want to see this.

553
00:29:51,539 --> 00:29:53,456
You... here.

554
00:29:53,457 --> 00:29:55,206
Come here.

555
00:29:55,207 --> 00:29:57,041
Come here.

556
00:29:59,249 --> 00:30:02,248
Nice comeback on the dick butt-kiss.

557
00:30:02,249 --> 00:30:04,374
I wish I could've said that.

558
00:30:04,375 --> 00:30:06,333
His parents have been driving me crazy,

559
00:30:06,334 --> 00:30:08,833
making my life a misery for years.

560
00:30:08,834 --> 00:30:11,541
But they give lots of money. I have
to go to those lousy cocktail parties.

561
00:30:11,542 --> 00:30:14,251
She has lousy perfume and
he has a lousy toupee.

562
00:30:14,252 --> 00:30:17,293
You keep throwing zingers to this jerk-off,

563
00:30:17,294 --> 00:30:19,377
and you're going to make the team, son.

564
00:30:21,045 --> 00:30:23,543
And let that be a lesson to you!
This is the last time!

565
00:30:23,544 --> 00:30:26,045
All right, rookies!
Push-ups!

566
00:30:26,046 --> 00:30:27,587
Get down!

567
00:30:29,296 --> 00:30:32,213
Yo, yo, yo.
What's up with the fast stroll?

568
00:30:32,214 --> 00:30:34,837
- Can I holler?
- Hi.

569
00:30:34,838 --> 00:30:38,630
Man: The role played by
the African-Americans

570
00:30:38,631 --> 00:30:40,255
in the history of this country

571
00:30:40,256 --> 00:30:42,880
has been largely unnoticed.

572
00:30:42,881 --> 00:30:44,256
Of course, history is

573
00:30:44,257 --> 00:30:46,589
the record of an account of the past.

574
00:30:46,590 --> 00:30:50,132
But the issue here is,
who is recording the account?

575
00:30:50,133 --> 00:30:53,924
If it's snowflake, whitey, paleface,

576
00:30:53,925 --> 00:30:55,591
peckerwoods, cracker...

577
00:30:55,592 --> 00:30:58,674
We got Cleopatra looking
like Elizabeth Taylor.

578
00:30:58,675 --> 00:31:01,259
Jesus looks like a hippie in a dashiki.

579
00:31:01,260 --> 00:31:03,426
But if it's one of my proud black people

580
00:31:03,427 --> 00:31:05,176
that's doing the recording of the account...

581
00:31:05,177 --> 00:31:06,344
Yo, Silas!

582
00:31:06,345 --> 00:31:09,052
We might have Moses looking like

583
00:31:09,053 --> 00:31:11,635
this fine black man right here.

584
00:31:11,636 --> 00:31:15,345
I'm sore as a motherfucker.

585
00:31:15,346 --> 00:31:17,594
Who invented the air conditioner?

586
00:31:17,595 --> 00:31:19,095
A black man.

587
00:31:19,096 --> 00:31:20,471
What's up, dogs?

588
00:31:20,472 --> 00:31:23,763
Yo, son, I'm sore as a bitch in heat.

589
00:31:23,764 --> 00:31:26,222
And you know what else?
I'm going to have

590
00:31:26,223 --> 00:31:28,263
to knock that Bart character the fuck out.

591
00:31:28,264 --> 00:31:30,680
Once again, a black man.

592
00:31:30,681 --> 00:31:32,847
Can't this wait till after class?

593
00:31:32,848 --> 00:31:35,932
You supposed to be in here, anyway.
This is black history.

594
00:31:35,933 --> 00:31:39,140
Black history?
It look like all the black students

595
00:31:39,141 --> 00:31:41,141
that was in here are history.

596
00:31:41,142 --> 00:31:43,807
- Shh!
- Are you telling me to "shh"?

597
00:31:43,808 --> 00:31:45,849
See what I mean?
Fuck history.

598
00:31:45,850 --> 00:31:49,100
- That's right. Fuck history.
- Yeah, fuck history.

599
00:31:49,101 --> 00:31:51,600
Mr. Moses, I expect you'll be
ready for your quiz tomorrow?

600
00:31:51,601 --> 00:31:54,893
Quiz my ass.
A white man teaching black history, anyway.

601
00:31:54,894 --> 00:31:59,436
That's some bullshit. I'm going to
lunch and take a nice long shit.

602
00:31:59,437 --> 00:32:01,769
That's the kind of attitude I like to hear.

603
00:32:01,770 --> 00:32:04,395
And where are you going?

604
00:32:04,396 --> 00:32:08,187
We didn't land on Plymouth rock.
Plymouth rock landed on us.

605
00:32:08,188 --> 00:32:11,271
Ooh, all right!
Malcolm X!

606
00:32:11,272 --> 00:32:13,271
I'm glad someone's
appreciating the knowledge

607
00:32:13,272 --> 00:32:15,438
I'm trying to drop on you today.

608
00:32:15,439 --> 00:32:17,439
Why don't you two walk out in
protest with your brothers?

609
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:19,855
Walk out on me.
What are you doing sitting there?

610
00:32:19,856 --> 00:32:23,273
You look like whitey, like
a couple of goddamn uncle Toms.

611
00:32:23,274 --> 00:32:25,190
Walk on out!
That's right!

612
00:32:25,191 --> 00:32:27,190
Get up and move!
You should lynch me!

613
00:32:27,191 --> 00:32:29,690
Lynch me for what my people
have done to your people.

614
00:32:44,152 --> 00:32:45,735
Come on.

615
00:32:45,736 --> 00:32:47,694
Go, go, go, go.

616
00:32:49,111 --> 00:32:51,071
Hey, what's up?

617
00:32:51,946 --> 00:32:54,153
Ahh, stop!

618
00:32:56,655 --> 00:33:00,946
- What's going on here?
- They stole my baby!

619
00:33:00,947 --> 00:33:05,072
Stop!
Bring my baby back!

620
00:33:05,073 --> 00:33:06,613
Not the hill, not the hill!

621
00:33:06,614 --> 00:33:09,989
Oh, god, no!
Baby, I almost got you!

622
00:33:16,450 --> 00:33:18,657
Oh no!
Oh my god!

623
00:33:18,658 --> 00:33:21,283
My wheel!
Oh, oh!

624
00:33:21,284 --> 00:33:23,616
Oh, my horn!

625
00:33:25,117 --> 00:33:28,409
Hey, you!
Where's elm and third?

626
00:33:28,410 --> 00:33:29,618
What?

627
00:33:37,954 --> 00:33:39,620
That's not yours!

628
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:45,121
No, don't put him in... oh, my baby!

629
00:33:49,830 --> 00:33:52,621
Can anyone tell me the name of this plant?

630
00:33:52,622 --> 00:33:54,580
Bart?

631
00:33:54,581 --> 00:33:56,997
Yeah, it's a hanging rubber plant.

632
00:33:56,998 --> 00:34:00,623
It's indigenous to the wet drylands
of the northern hemisphere.

633
00:34:00,624 --> 00:34:03,332
Yeah right, Bart.
Would you bet money on that?

634
00:34:03,333 --> 00:34:05,958
Or is that like below
the dooster principle?

635
00:34:05,959 --> 00:34:08,124
Yeah, I'll bet on it.
How 'bout an SUV?

636
00:34:08,125 --> 00:34:09,500
I got three of 'em.

637
00:34:09,501 --> 00:34:12,833
And the survey says, ehhh, you lose.

638
00:34:12,834 --> 00:34:15,000
It's a neem plant, professor.

639
00:34:15,001 --> 00:34:16,625
Oui.
Yes.

640
00:34:16,626 --> 00:34:18,834
But how did you know that, Silas?

641
00:34:18,835 --> 00:34:21,335
I had this nasty-ass rash once.

642
00:34:21,336 --> 00:34:23,336
I put a little bit of neem plant on it,

643
00:34:23,337 --> 00:34:25,002
it cleared it up in an hour.
I even smoked it before.

644
00:34:25,003 --> 00:34:27,378
That figures.

645
00:34:27,379 --> 00:34:29,170
One thing it doesn't cure, though...

646
00:34:29,171 --> 00:34:30,962
Being a spoiled little bitch.

647
00:34:30,963 --> 00:34:34,504
Professor: I'd like you all to
do an experiment on a plant.

648
00:34:34,505 --> 00:34:37,921
Something that... may benefit mankind.

649
00:34:37,922 --> 00:34:40,797
And if you devise something groundbreaking,

650
00:34:40,798 --> 00:34:44,506
I guarantee you an "a" in this course.

651
00:34:44,507 --> 00:34:47,090
Okay, class dismissed.
Good work, everyone.

652
00:34:47,091 --> 00:34:49,257
- Thank you.
- Nice. Keep up the good work.

653
00:34:49,258 --> 00:34:52,216
Woman: So, he likes plants, does he?

654
00:34:52,217 --> 00:34:54,091
I see still waters run deep.

655
00:34:54,092 --> 00:34:58,050
Please believe.
But wait till you see my presentation.

656
00:34:58,051 --> 00:34:59,467
You going to love me after that.

657
00:34:59,468 --> 00:35:02,217
Lauren, you might as well tell him now

658
00:35:02,218 --> 00:35:03,884
and get it over with.

659
00:35:03,885 --> 00:35:05,717
- What?
- You know,

660
00:35:05,718 --> 00:35:08,426
how you're starting to see Bart
for the shallow bastard he is,

661
00:35:08,427 --> 00:35:10,885
and eventually you're going
to leave his ass for me.

662
00:35:10,886 --> 00:35:13,387
Holler.

663
00:35:18,971 --> 00:35:21,595
Professor: This semester
in women's studies,

664
00:35:21,596 --> 00:35:24,679
we will discuss how women are
objectified in popular culture

665
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:26,429
while the masculine bastards

666
00:35:26,430 --> 00:35:29,138
exploit women's ideas for great profit,

667
00:35:29,139 --> 00:35:30,930
then take all the credit.

668
00:35:30,931 --> 00:35:33,931
Jamal?

669
00:35:33,932 --> 00:35:36,390
You have the most amazing...

670
00:35:36,391 --> 00:35:38,848
Penis.

671
00:35:38,849 --> 00:35:40,599
Yes, I do.

672
00:35:50,185 --> 00:35:52,351
- Hell yeah.
- Aaah.

673
00:35:52,352 --> 00:35:54,809
So you're playing grabby-ass again, huh?

674
00:35:54,810 --> 00:35:58,227
- Ma?
- Did you wash your ass today?

675
00:35:58,228 --> 00:36:00,978
Ah! Ah! Damn, ma!
Stop, ma! Stop!

676
00:36:07,145 --> 00:36:10,479
- Silas: You high yet?
- Jamal: I don't know. Maybe not high enough.

677
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,980
Where the hell is he?

678
00:36:13,772 --> 00:36:15,980
Maybe I ain't hit it hard enough.

679
00:36:15,981 --> 00:36:18,647
What are you doing?
Dropping your kids off at the pool?

680
00:36:20,606 --> 00:36:22,523
Oh, shit.

681
00:36:22,524 --> 00:36:24,982
What's up, j?
Give me five.

682
00:36:24,983 --> 00:36:26,648
I hate it when you do that.

683
00:36:26,649 --> 00:36:28,315
I love doing that.
That shit is funny.

684
00:36:28,316 --> 00:36:30,023
What took you so long?

685
00:36:30,024 --> 00:36:32,816
Biggie and pac, man.
They throwing a party.

686
00:36:32,817 --> 00:36:34,525
Open bar all night!

687
00:36:34,526 --> 00:36:38,900
Everything was cool till
Marvin gaye came in there tripping.

688
00:36:38,901 --> 00:36:41,234
- Marvin gaye?
- Yeah.

689
00:36:41,235 --> 00:36:44,609
- We got a test in about five minutes.
- Word.

690
00:36:44,610 --> 00:36:46,859
What that got to do with me?
I know you ready.

691
00:36:46,860 --> 00:36:49,569
- I know you studied for it.
- Ready? We ain't studied...

692
00:36:49,570 --> 00:36:53,027
- Come on.
- You got a golden opportunity to make something of yourself.

693
00:36:53,028 --> 00:36:56,112
And you just throwing it away?
It's time for you to learn a lesson.

694
00:36:56,113 --> 00:36:58,237
- Come on, ive.
- I'm out, man.

695
00:36:58,238 --> 00:37:00,363
Ive! Don't play! Ive!

696
00:37:00,364 --> 00:37:03,821
- Talk to your boy.
- Why'd you tell him we ain't studied?

697
00:37:03,822 --> 00:37:06,531
- Damn all that!
- You should've thought of that before you...

698
00:37:06,532 --> 00:37:10,822
Whassup?!
I'm just fucking with you, man.

699
00:37:10,823 --> 00:37:13,448
- This is bullshit.
- This is some good shit, man.

700
00:37:13,449 --> 00:37:15,573
You know you my boy.

701
00:37:15,574 --> 00:37:18,533
"C," Silas.
Come on, man. The portugese.

702
00:37:18,534 --> 00:37:21,241
1863. That's "b."

703
00:37:21,242 --> 00:37:23,616
J, what are you doing?
1961.

704
00:37:23,617 --> 00:37:26,409
- "B?"
- trust me on this, I got all the answers.

705
00:37:26,410 --> 00:37:28,409
You just told me that goddamn answer.

706
00:37:28,410 --> 00:37:30,701
"A." French.
That be the French.

707
00:37:43,079 --> 00:37:47,079
Goddamn virgins.
At least you all being entertained.

708
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:50,454
I ain't seen a stitch of
pussy on this whole campus.

709
00:37:50,455 --> 00:37:54,581
The chickens are not clucking around here.

710
00:37:56,664 --> 00:37:58,456
You've come to the right place.

711
00:37:58,457 --> 00:38:00,789
I've been an undergrad for 12 years.

712
00:38:00,790 --> 00:38:04,416
I know everything there is
to know about Ivy league women.

713
00:38:04,417 --> 00:38:05,957
Silas: 12 years?

714
00:38:05,958 --> 00:38:08,873
Damn, kid.
Your people paying for all this shit?

715
00:38:08,874 --> 00:38:10,749
A drop in the bucket, sucka.

716
00:38:10,750 --> 00:38:13,333
I remain here solely for the purpose

717
00:38:13,334 --> 00:38:16,126
of hooking up with Harvard women.

718
00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:18,625
Short ones, tall ones,

719
00:38:18,626 --> 00:38:20,543
skinny ones, chunky ones.

720
00:38:20,544 --> 00:38:23,085
I love me a fat chick, man.

721
00:38:23,086 --> 00:38:25,710
More cushion for the pushin'.

722
00:38:25,711 --> 00:38:29,794
Yes. I want to boldly go
where no man has gone before.

723
00:38:29,795 --> 00:38:31,461
I'm an explorer.

724
00:38:31,462 --> 00:38:35,587
I see you are very much liking
to explore stds also, my friend.

725
00:38:35,588 --> 00:38:38,838
That shit on your lip
got some shit on its lip.

726
00:38:38,839 --> 00:38:40,879
Is that why no puff-puff?

727
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:42,588
Pass the dutchie, my friends.

728
00:38:42,589 --> 00:38:45,047
This is nothing.
I cut myself shaving.

729
00:38:45,048 --> 00:38:46,381
Yeah, whatever.

730
00:38:46,382 --> 00:38:48,839
We need to start importing some hos.

731
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:51,965
Woman: Molly, get in here,
you have to see this!

732
00:38:51,966 --> 00:38:56,383
Molly: Oh my, look at those muscles.

733
00:38:56,384 --> 00:38:59,174
- He is quite attractive.
- Indeed.

734
00:38:59,175 --> 00:39:01,676
I think there's some freak in those geeks.

735
00:39:03,718 --> 00:39:05,426
- Yeah.
- Here you go.

736
00:39:05,427 --> 00:39:09,010
Ooh. Don't get the wrong idea.

737
00:39:09,011 --> 00:39:12,176
We've never done anything like this before.
We're virgins.

738
00:39:12,177 --> 00:39:13,719
- Virgins?
- Mm-hmm.

739
00:39:13,720 --> 00:39:16,511
- No, you're not.
- Yes, we are.

740
00:39:16,512 --> 00:39:17,802
- Nah, nah.
- Yes.

741
00:39:17,803 --> 00:39:21,262
Jamal and Silas: No, no, no.

742
00:39:21,263 --> 00:39:23,095
Both girls: Yes, yes, yes.

743
00:39:23,096 --> 00:39:24,887
Jamal and Silas: No, no, no.

744
00:39:24,888 --> 00:39:27,139
Both girls: Yes, yes, yes!

745
00:39:36,765 --> 00:39:39,140
Bro', you got change for a $20?

746
00:39:52,059 --> 00:39:55,892
- Histo-ray!
- Got a "a plus," my nigger.

747
00:39:55,893 --> 00:39:59,728
Oooh, ooh.
Who is that?

748
00:40:00,644 --> 00:40:02,685
Jamal: That is all me, g.

749
00:40:02,686 --> 00:40:04,727
That's the vice president's daughter.

750
00:40:04,728 --> 00:40:07,061
As in vice president of the United States.

751
00:40:07,062 --> 00:40:08,978
What? Jamal, you don't want that.

752
00:40:08,979 --> 00:40:10,603
Them girls only know three words...

753
00:40:10,604 --> 00:40:12,354
Stop, no, and don't.

754
00:40:12,355 --> 00:40:14,687
Uh-uh, my brother.
You got those words backwards.

755
00:40:14,688 --> 00:40:17,522
They always tell me, "no, don't stop."

756
00:40:17,523 --> 00:40:21,439
- Excuse me.
- Player, player.

757
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:25,772
Whoo-whee, I'm taking this
ass up right here. Shit.

758
00:40:52,070 --> 00:40:55,611
Sorry, sir, Jaime isn't accepting
any male callers at this time.

759
00:40:55,612 --> 00:40:57,987
I ain't calling.
I'm right here.

760
00:40:57,988 --> 00:41:00,737
Cedric, step aside.

761
00:41:00,738 --> 00:41:03,655
Whoo-whee!

762
00:41:04,947 --> 00:41:07,155
- What's your name?
- I'm Jamal.

763
00:41:07,156 --> 00:41:08,989
You ever been arrested, Jamal?

764
00:41:08,990 --> 00:41:10,780
Uh... no.

765
00:41:10,781 --> 00:41:13,156
Ever busted up your mother's house,

766
00:41:13,157 --> 00:41:15,948
- then slapped her when she asked you about it?
- Hell no. You crazy?

767
00:41:15,949 --> 00:41:18,282
You ain't my type.

768
00:41:18,283 --> 00:41:20,032
Wait a minute, wait, wait!

769
00:41:20,033 --> 00:41:21,450
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

770
00:41:21,451 --> 00:41:24,866
I once got arrested for
stealing a car one time.

771
00:41:24,867 --> 00:41:27,034
But my mother dropped the charges.

772
00:41:27,035 --> 00:41:31,326
It's not a felony, but
maybe we can work with that.

773
00:41:39,037 --> 00:41:41,369
Yo.

774
00:41:41,370 --> 00:41:42,869
Shit, I didn't mean to scare you.

775
00:41:42,870 --> 00:41:44,620
- I'm...
- Can I come in?

776
00:41:44,621 --> 00:41:46,412
Sure, come on in.

777
00:41:46,413 --> 00:41:50,413
Let me... move my things.

778
00:41:50,414 --> 00:41:52,662
There you go.
You can sit there.

779
00:41:52,663 --> 00:41:55,706
Thank you.
How very thoughtful.

780
00:41:57,540 --> 00:41:59,872
You'll have to pardon my dust.

781
00:41:59,873 --> 00:42:03,582
I've got a lot of artifacts
and delicate things down here.

782
00:42:03,583 --> 00:42:06,040
What's this shit?

783
00:42:06,041 --> 00:42:08,207
- Looks old.
- It is old.

784
00:42:08,208 --> 00:42:10,124
It's over 200 years old.

785
00:42:10,125 --> 00:42:12,750
I, um, sort of discovered it.

786
00:42:12,751 --> 00:42:15,125
You discovered all this crazy shit.

787
00:42:15,126 --> 00:42:17,084
You're a straight up genius, girl.

788
00:42:19,544 --> 00:42:21,585
Well, I don't know about all that.

789
00:42:21,586 --> 00:42:23,960
Um... I do know it's Ben Franklin's.

790
00:42:23,961 --> 00:42:25,502
I just don't know what it is.

791
00:42:25,503 --> 00:42:27,502
But I was thinking that it could be

792
00:42:27,503 --> 00:42:30,253
like this old revolutionary Cannon.

793
00:42:30,254 --> 00:42:32,462
Or a telescope.
Or um...

794
00:42:32,463 --> 00:42:35,754
Whatever it is, this shit is hot.

795
00:42:35,755 --> 00:42:37,338
Let me ask you something.

796
00:42:37,339 --> 00:42:39,212
Yeah.

797
00:42:39,213 --> 00:42:41,880
How'd you hook up with that Bart dude?

798
00:42:41,881 --> 00:42:44,464
I've known Bart all my life.

799
00:42:44,465 --> 00:42:47,088
And if it weren't for his family,

800
00:42:47,089 --> 00:42:48,797
I probably wouldn't be here.

801
00:42:48,798 --> 00:42:51,591
Well, isn't that sweet.

802
00:42:58,967 --> 00:43:01,050
Ah-ha!

803
00:43:01,051 --> 00:43:03,133
Bart, honey.
Sweetie.

804
00:43:03,134 --> 00:43:04,593
You are just in time

805
00:43:04,594 --> 00:43:07,301
because I've just finished studying.

806
00:43:07,302 --> 00:43:09,301
- Studying?
- Yeah.

807
00:43:09,302 --> 00:43:11,302
I didn't know the two of you
were studying in here...

808
00:43:11,303 --> 00:43:12,968
Alone...

809
00:43:12,969 --> 00:43:14,594
With the lights dim...

810
00:43:14,595 --> 00:43:16,927
Drinking beer?!

811
00:43:16,928 --> 00:43:19,595
Look Silas, I know what you're
trying to do, okay?

812
00:43:19,596 --> 00:43:20,970
You're trying to frick her.

813
00:43:23,138 --> 00:43:25,512
Whatever, bartkowski.
Um, listen,

814
00:43:25,513 --> 00:43:29,097
I was just admiring your girl's thing.

815
00:43:30,473 --> 00:43:32,929
Well, I guess I should say thanks.

816
00:43:32,930 --> 00:43:34,473
This is a part of history, man.

817
00:43:34,474 --> 00:43:35,972
Your girl is doing something I think

818
00:43:35,973 --> 00:43:39,056
- you need to recognize.
- Yeah. So?

819
00:43:39,057 --> 00:43:40,723
Listen, I'm out.

820
00:43:40,724 --> 00:43:43,848
Maybe next time I'll get to study with you.

821
00:43:43,849 --> 00:43:46,932
- Peace.
- Peace is meant to explain a state of tranquility.

822
00:43:46,933 --> 00:43:49,433
Okay? So, why don't you try
thinking of another way

823
00:43:49,434 --> 00:43:52,267
to say goodbye now that
you're amongst civilized people.

824
00:43:52,268 --> 00:43:54,017
Well, Mr. Civilized,

825
00:43:54,018 --> 00:43:56,602
peace can also be used interjectionally

826
00:43:56,603 --> 00:43:59,684
as a request, greeting, or farewell.

827
00:43:59,685 --> 00:44:02,478
So, try to find another
way to be an asshole

828
00:44:02,479 --> 00:44:04,852
if you don't know your grammar, that is.

829
00:44:04,853 --> 00:44:06,354
Peace.

830
00:44:08,854 --> 00:44:11,187
Okay, Bart!

831
00:44:11,188 --> 00:44:13,355
God, can I get my stuff?

832
00:44:14,397 --> 00:44:16,189
Sheesh.

833
00:44:17,189 --> 00:44:19,355
Yes.

834
00:44:19,356 --> 00:44:21,730
It was near the medical library.

835
00:44:21,731 --> 00:44:23,730
I think they said it was one of those,

836
00:44:23,731 --> 00:44:27,398
tick-tocky, blow-upy,
exploding thing... thingy,

837
00:44:27,399 --> 00:44:28,939
pipebomb thing... things.

838
00:44:28,940 --> 00:44:31,106
Yeah. Yeah.

839
00:44:31,107 --> 00:44:33,774
Thank you.
You, too.

840
00:44:33,775 --> 00:44:35,733
All righty. Bye.

841
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:45,235
Dooster principle, my ass.

842
00:44:45,985 --> 00:44:48,069
Mm-hmm.

843
00:44:51,153 --> 00:44:54,070
Jamal: Man, my grandmother
loved this shit in her garden.

844
00:44:59,571 --> 00:45:01,572
Lasso, boys.

845
00:45:04,821 --> 00:45:06,781
Yee-hah!

846
00:45:09,490 --> 00:45:11,615
Timber!

847
00:45:13,782 --> 00:45:15,531
That statue is priceless.

848
00:45:15,532 --> 00:45:17,281
It means everything to our family.

849
00:45:17,282 --> 00:45:19,449
Will you stop your damn sniveling, son?

850
00:45:19,450 --> 00:45:21,115
Buck up, Bart.

851
00:45:21,116 --> 00:45:22,782
Buck up!

852
00:45:22,783 --> 00:45:25,033
Yo, do you think they gonna find out

853
00:45:25,034 --> 00:45:26,283
we stole the dooster statue?

854
00:45:26,284 --> 00:45:28,075
Silas: Hell, no.

855
00:45:28,076 --> 00:45:29,992
Oh, my god!
I knew it.

856
00:45:29,993 --> 00:45:31,576
You guys stole the dooster.

857
00:45:31,577 --> 00:45:32,950
They do what?

858
00:45:32,951 --> 00:45:34,493
Fellas, I think it's time

859
00:45:34,494 --> 00:45:35,951
we all sat down and kicked it.

860
00:45:35,952 --> 00:45:37,452
No, no.
I'm not kicking anything.

861
00:45:37,453 --> 00:45:39,077
I have a pledge meeting to go to,

862
00:45:39,078 --> 00:45:40,952
and I still haven't greased myself up.

863
00:45:40,953 --> 00:45:43,119
God, I just don't get you guys.

864
00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:44,744
There's a lot of things in life

865
00:45:44,745 --> 00:45:46,662
your ass just don't get.

866
00:45:46,663 --> 00:45:49,497
Yeah, like pussy and respect.

867
00:45:50,954 --> 00:45:52,830
I heard that.

868
00:45:56,872 --> 00:45:58,830
See, the system is geared

869
00:45:58,831 --> 00:46:02,081
to put most of the wealth
into the hands of a few.

870
00:46:02,082 --> 00:46:04,665
The rich weapons, poor schoolin'.

871
00:46:04,666 --> 00:46:06,706
Yeah, for sure, nigger.

872
00:46:06,707 --> 00:46:09,290
- Yeah, for sure.
- Y'all don't know shit.

873
00:46:09,291 --> 00:46:10,707
I'm a' learned you, though.

874
00:46:10,708 --> 00:46:12,125
I'm a' learned ya.

875
00:46:13,708 --> 00:46:16,292
Dwarves, midgets,

876
00:46:16,293 --> 00:46:17,917
motherfuckin' unicorns...

877
00:46:17,918 --> 00:46:19,708
Them motherfuckers don't want to see

878
00:46:19,709 --> 00:46:21,125
a black man make it.

879
00:46:21,126 --> 00:46:22,918
- Yeah.
- You know what I mean?

880
00:46:22,919 --> 00:46:24,918
- For sure.
- You know?

881
00:46:24,919 --> 00:46:27,170
And I'll tell you something else.

882
00:46:37,088 --> 00:46:39,047
For sure.

883
00:46:46,215 --> 00:46:47,797
Word up, young mc.

884
00:46:47,798 --> 00:46:49,713
You're just in time to
help cheer us to victory.

885
00:46:49,714 --> 00:46:51,173
Young mc.

886
00:46:51,174 --> 00:46:53,881
Bart, you know, I think you
keep getting funnier every day.

887
00:46:53,882 --> 00:46:55,923
You ain't gonna be laughing in a minute.

888
00:46:55,924 --> 00:46:57,299
Jamal.

889
00:46:57,300 --> 00:46:59,715
Bart, I've decided since you and Jamal

890
00:46:59,716 --> 00:47:01,257
are my two best athletes,

891
00:47:01,258 --> 00:47:03,758
I want you up against Yale.

892
00:47:03,759 --> 00:47:05,716
You can't just change the line-up!

893
00:47:05,717 --> 00:47:07,717
- That's against the rules!
- What rules? Who cares?

894
00:47:07,718 --> 00:47:09,468
Do you guys care about the rules?!

895
00:47:09,469 --> 00:47:11,343
- No.
- There you go.

896
00:47:15,428 --> 00:47:16,760
Announcer: On your Mark,

897
00:47:16,761 --> 00:47:18,760
get set...

898
00:47:18,761 --> 00:47:22,096
And they're off.
It's a clean start.

899
00:47:23,762 --> 00:47:26,679
What are you doing, hip-hop hooray?
Paddle!

900
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:27,970
Paddle like a man!

901
00:47:27,971 --> 00:47:30,554
Shoot the j.
Get jiggy with it.
Something!

902
00:47:30,555 --> 00:47:33,639
Announcer: They're blowing
Harvard's ass out of the water.

903
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:37,056
Jamal, what's your ass doing rowing a boat?

904
00:47:37,057 --> 00:47:38,847
You're supposed to be in class.

905
00:47:38,848 --> 00:47:40,348
Who the hell is that woman in the sky?!

906
00:47:40,349 --> 00:47:42,181
- I don't know.
- What's the matter?

907
00:47:42,182 --> 00:47:44,973
You been smoking too much ganja, huh?

908
00:47:44,974 --> 00:47:46,516
Bart: She's huge!

909
00:47:46,517 --> 00:47:48,433
I guess you might as well come back home

910
00:47:48,434 --> 00:47:49,683
and live with me.

911
00:47:49,684 --> 00:47:50,808
Oh hell, no!

912
00:47:50,809 --> 00:47:53,809
- Did you cuss at me?
- Row, motherfucker! Row!

913
00:47:56,060 --> 00:47:57,393
Yes, Dean Cain.

914
00:47:57,394 --> 00:47:59,142
Am I to believe this is correct?

915
00:47:59,143 --> 00:48:02,103
Jamal and Silas have gotten all a's?

916
00:48:08,812 --> 00:48:10,894
I'll call you back.

917
00:48:10,895 --> 00:48:12,354
Coach: How you doing, Dean?

918
00:48:12,355 --> 00:48:14,647
How you doing?
How you been?

919
00:48:15,896 --> 00:48:17,729
I see you checking out my gear, right?

920
00:48:17,730 --> 00:48:19,813
- It's pretty tight, right?
- No, actually,

921
00:48:19,814 --> 00:48:21,605
- it's rather baggy.
- No, no, man.

922
00:48:21,606 --> 00:48:23,356
It's phat, it's dope, it's cool, it's bufu.

923
00:48:23,357 --> 00:48:25,648
Bill, what has happened to you?

924
00:48:25,649 --> 00:48:27,439
Sit down and take off those glasses.

925
00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:28,607
All righty.

926
00:48:30,441 --> 00:48:32,190
Tell me, how's Jamal doing?

927
00:48:32,191 --> 00:48:34,816
Fine. Very well.
He's coming along.

928
00:48:34,817 --> 00:48:37,857
Now listen, Jaime's father
is having an upcoming election.

929
00:48:37,858 --> 00:48:41,025
And it won't look good
if she was to be involved

930
00:48:41,026 --> 00:48:42,692
with someone from the lower class.

931
00:48:42,693 --> 00:48:44,360
Isn't Jaime a freshman?

932
00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:47,026
All right, so you want me

933
00:48:47,027 --> 00:48:48,527
to tell Jamal to stop seeing Jaime.

934
00:48:48,528 --> 00:48:50,360
He'll just tell me, "hey, man...

935
00:48:50,361 --> 00:48:53,236
Fuck you. Fuck you.
Fuck you.

936
00:48:53,237 --> 00:48:54,819
Point well taken.

937
00:48:54,820 --> 00:48:57,319
I need you to help me get proof

938
00:48:57,320 --> 00:48:59,861
that Jamal is diddling Jaime.

939
00:48:59,862 --> 00:49:01,945
Oh, I see now.

940
00:49:01,946 --> 00:49:03,862
Yes, it's all good.

941
00:49:03,863 --> 00:49:06,364
Yeah, I'll go holler at him, son.

942
00:49:07,614 --> 00:49:09,321
Bill, bill.

943
00:49:09,322 --> 00:49:11,406
Did you just call me son?

944
00:49:11,407 --> 00:49:13,532
Word.

945
00:49:14,490 --> 00:49:16,781
Word?

946
00:49:16,782 --> 00:49:19,240
Stroke, smoke,

947
00:49:19,241 --> 00:49:21,074
stroke, smoke,

948
00:49:21,075 --> 00:49:23,408
stroke, smoke,

949
00:49:23,409 --> 00:49:26,074
stroke, smoke,

950
00:49:26,075 --> 00:49:28,659
stroke, smoke...

951
00:49:28,660 --> 00:49:31,700
If Dean Cain think he can
kick me out the school that easy,

952
00:49:31,701 --> 00:49:33,618
he got another thing coming.

953
00:49:33,619 --> 00:49:36,201
- What an asshole.
- Hey, coach, thanks a lot.

954
00:49:36,202 --> 00:49:37,243
I owe you.

955
00:49:37,244 --> 00:49:39,577
- Ooh.
- Listen, Jaime,

956
00:49:39,578 --> 00:49:43,077
me and you cannot see each other no more.

957
00:49:43,078 --> 00:49:45,328
No more dating, no more fooling around.

958
00:49:45,329 --> 00:49:47,328
None of that!
It stops. That's it.

959
00:49:47,329 --> 00:49:49,495
Yes, it's probably better

960
00:49:49,496 --> 00:49:51,413
if we stop seeing each other

961
00:49:51,414 --> 00:49:54,413
for the sake of my father's campaign.

962
00:49:54,414 --> 00:49:57,080
If he lost the election
and it was my fault,

963
00:49:57,081 --> 00:49:59,372
gosh-golly,

964
00:49:59,373 --> 00:50:02,290
that would be so hard on me.

965
00:50:03,457 --> 00:50:05,540
I don't think I could live with myself.

966
00:50:05,541 --> 00:50:07,582
But baby, maybe it'd be better

967
00:50:07,583 --> 00:50:09,791
if you went to school somewhere down south.

968
00:50:12,791 --> 00:50:14,916
Jamal: I think you should
go down south first.

969
00:50:14,917 --> 00:50:17,084
This guy's a real asshole.

970
00:50:18,084 --> 00:50:19,376
Jeff: I can't.

971
00:50:19,377 --> 00:50:21,000
I can't do it, all right?

972
00:50:21,001 --> 00:50:23,084
If you don't bring your ass on...

973
00:50:23,085 --> 00:50:25,751
We got work to do before
Dean dickhead gets back.

974
00:50:25,752 --> 00:50:27,794
Come on.

975
00:50:41,879 --> 00:50:44,171
Aren't you worried about
getting kicked out?

976
00:50:44,172 --> 00:50:46,839
For this?
He ain't never gonna find out. Relax.

977
00:50:58,258 --> 00:51:00,966
What happen to bird?
Crazy shitting everywhere?

978
00:51:00,967 --> 00:51:02,383
Crazy shit, all right.

979
00:51:02,384 --> 00:51:04,509
And it will be everywhere.

980
00:51:05,510 --> 00:51:07,426
With that they just won't shit.

981
00:51:07,427 --> 00:51:10,176
- Yeah.
- They're gonna blow up.

982
00:51:39,181 --> 00:51:41,931
And as for you two,

983
00:51:41,932 --> 00:51:44,557
ever since you arrived on this campus,

984
00:51:44,558 --> 00:51:46,391
there's been several mishaps.

985
00:51:46,392 --> 00:51:48,391
Now, my instincts tell me it's you,

986
00:51:48,392 --> 00:51:50,849
but I can't prove it.
Not yet.

987
00:51:50,850 --> 00:51:53,267
But I know if I give you enough time,

988
00:51:53,268 --> 00:51:55,684
pretty soon you're going to slip up.

989
00:51:55,685 --> 00:51:57,601
And then I'll be able to send you back

990
00:51:57,602 --> 00:52:00,394
to your miserable existence.

991
00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:08,686
What the hell are you wearing?

992
00:52:08,687 --> 00:52:10,061
Bufu!

993
00:52:10,062 --> 00:52:11,853
Bufu?

994
00:52:11,854 --> 00:52:14,104
By us, fuck you.

995
00:52:14,980 --> 00:52:17,272
Get out!
Out, out, out...

996
00:52:18,647 --> 00:52:21,021
By us, fuck you.

997
00:52:21,022 --> 00:52:23,522
Jamal: If the chancellor's
throwing a Halloween party,

998
00:52:23,523 --> 00:52:25,730
wait till Harvard see our Halloween party.

999
00:52:25,731 --> 00:52:28,356
Silas: Yeah, but if Dean Cain
find out about this shit,

1000
00:52:28,357 --> 00:52:30,981
he gonna be mad as a motherfucker.

1001
00:52:30,982 --> 00:52:32,566
What the fuck is he gonna do?

1002
00:52:32,567 --> 00:52:34,773
We got the ivory, getting straight a's.

1003
00:52:34,774 --> 00:52:38,276
We got this motherfucker locked!

1004
00:52:40,067 --> 00:52:42,191
They look like they got money.

1005
00:52:42,192 --> 00:52:43,483
They kinda cute.

1006
00:52:43,484 --> 00:52:46,652
Girl, we gonna get paid.

1007
00:52:47,943 --> 00:52:50,819
- How you doing?
- For real.

1008
00:52:52,570 --> 00:52:55,319
- End-table ass!
- Hella back.

1009
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:57,902
Where the party at?
We trying to get a party on and stuff.

1010
00:52:57,903 --> 00:52:59,611
We having a party.

1011
00:52:59,612 --> 00:53:02,154
Costume party at the lovell house.

1012
00:53:02,155 --> 00:53:04,154
- Ooh.
- 11:00 pm.

1013
00:53:04,155 --> 00:53:07,155
Please, bring your ass
and titties along with ya.

1014
00:53:07,156 --> 00:53:09,113
We want all the hos out here to come.

1015
00:53:09,114 --> 00:53:11,405
Wait a minute.
Did you just call us hos?

1016
00:53:11,406 --> 00:53:13,322
I meant that in a good way.

1017
00:53:13,323 --> 00:53:15,322
- Oh.
- Oh, okay.

1018
00:53:15,323 --> 00:53:17,489
Here. Now, bring all your horny friends.

1019
00:53:17,490 --> 00:53:19,490
There you go.
Bring all the hos.

1020
00:53:19,491 --> 00:53:21,491
Y'all gonna pay us, right?

1021
00:53:23,658 --> 00:53:24,907
I don't hear nothing.

1022
00:53:24,908 --> 00:53:26,408
Yo, we got dough.
Talk to 'em.

1023
00:53:26,409 --> 00:53:28,074
Yeah, yeah.
We got dough.

1024
00:53:28,075 --> 00:53:29,700
If not, our best friends got dough.

1025
00:53:29,701 --> 00:53:31,325
And if not, their best friends got dough.

1026
00:53:31,326 --> 00:53:33,326
Okay, yeah.
We down with that.

1027
00:53:34,868 --> 00:53:36,285
Ass, titties, ballers.

1028
00:53:36,286 --> 00:53:38,034
Ballers, girl!

1029
00:53:38,035 --> 00:53:39,869
- Okay, all right.
- Ballers, all right.

1030
00:53:43,704 --> 00:53:45,910
Both: Whoo.

1031
00:53:45,911 --> 00:53:48,496
Popcorn player.

1032
00:53:51,037 --> 00:53:54,121
Silas: I got one more delivery to make.

1033
00:53:54,122 --> 00:53:56,330
Guess who used to be black?

1034
00:53:58,539 --> 00:54:00,955
Oh, Dean Cain.
But he is black.

1035
00:54:00,956 --> 00:54:02,539
Like a polar bear.

1036
00:54:02,540 --> 00:54:04,247
But I got a recipe that'll inject

1037
00:54:04,248 --> 00:54:07,165
some ghetto back in his ass.

1038
00:54:07,166 --> 00:54:09,415
Got some more beer.

1039
00:54:09,416 --> 00:54:11,250
What did you do to yourself?

1040
00:54:12,459 --> 00:54:13,999
Oh, oh.
The fox club.

1041
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:15,499
They put me in a shopping cart

1042
00:54:15,500 --> 00:54:17,250
and shoved me down a hill.

1043
00:54:17,251 --> 00:54:19,584
Thank god I fell out
before I hit the freeway.

1044
00:54:19,585 --> 00:54:21,750
What the fuck are you doing?
Put the milk back.

1045
00:54:21,751 --> 00:54:23,834
You're not supposed to steal from us!

1046
00:54:23,835 --> 00:54:26,334
Why are you always taking
violent tones with people?

1047
00:54:26,335 --> 00:54:28,419
Man, shut up before I kick your ass!

1048
00:54:28,420 --> 00:54:29,918
You know, as human beings

1049
00:54:29,919 --> 00:54:31,252
we should be able to talk this out,

1050
00:54:31,253 --> 00:54:32,877
not resort to violence.

1051
00:54:32,878 --> 00:54:34,919
How you gonna talk when you shutting up?

1052
00:54:34,920 --> 00:54:36,836
Fine! Fine! You want some violence?!

1053
00:54:36,837 --> 00:54:38,587
You want a piece of this?
Come on!

1054
00:54:38,588 --> 00:54:40,714
I'll show you some violence!
Well, come on!

1055
00:54:41,589 --> 00:54:44,087
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

1056
00:54:44,088 --> 00:54:45,881
Oh, god!

1057
00:54:46,756 --> 00:54:48,631
Now, go to time-out.

1058
00:54:49,673 --> 00:54:50,922
Go to your room.

1059
00:54:59,841 --> 00:55:02,758
I wonder who this could be.

1060
00:55:02,759 --> 00:55:04,675
Oh, my goodness.

1061
00:55:04,676 --> 00:55:06,300
Honey, look at this.

1062
00:55:06,301 --> 00:55:08,134
I wonder who these are from?

1063
00:55:09,968 --> 00:55:13,092
"Dear Carl, saw these and thought of you.

1064
00:55:13,093 --> 00:55:15,093
Love, Mrs. Ray."

1065
00:55:15,094 --> 00:55:17,260
It's my old school mum!

1066
00:55:17,261 --> 00:55:19,801
I haven't heard from her in years.

1067
00:55:19,802 --> 00:55:21,470
Oh, how sweet.

1068
00:55:21,471 --> 00:55:23,803
She knows I love brownies.

1069
00:55:25,512 --> 00:55:28,554
Mmm.
A little piece of heaven.

1070
00:55:28,555 --> 00:55:29,887
Better than mine?

1071
00:55:29,888 --> 00:55:32,138
Darling, I don't remember
you cooking brownies.

1072
00:55:32,139 --> 00:55:33,680
You're right.
I don't.

1073
00:55:33,681 --> 00:55:35,555
Hurry up, you're going to make us late.

1074
00:55:35,556 --> 00:55:37,346
You know how I hate to be late.

1075
00:55:37,347 --> 00:55:38,681
- Hurry, hurry, hurry.
- All right.

1076
00:55:38,682 --> 00:55:40,515
I'll take these upstairs.

1077
00:55:42,015 --> 00:55:43,265
I'll have another.

1078
00:55:43,266 --> 00:55:44,599
They're great.

1079
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:47,349
Throw me a beer, you big weenie!

1080
00:55:51,684 --> 00:55:53,517
Whoo!

1081
00:55:57,185 --> 00:55:58,850
Lovell house!

1082
00:56:03,436 --> 00:56:05,602
Cypress hill.
What up, fellas?

1083
00:56:05,603 --> 00:56:06,977
What's up, man?

1084
00:56:06,978 --> 00:56:09,186
- How was the trip?
- Good. Good.

1085
00:56:09,187 --> 00:56:10,894
I see muggs couldn't make it,

1086
00:56:10,895 --> 00:56:12,437
so I brought my man, I need money.

1087
00:56:12,438 --> 00:56:14,312
- Is he any good?
- Yeah, he don't talk.

1088
00:56:14,313 --> 00:56:15,853
He speak with his hands.
Know what I mean?

1089
00:56:15,854 --> 00:56:18,771
- Right, right, right.
- You have a good show.

1090
00:56:18,772 --> 00:56:20,605
Hey, hey.

1091
00:56:20,606 --> 00:56:23,189
Don't fuck up tonight, all right?

1092
00:56:27,523 --> 00:56:29,733
Hey, what the fuck is the plate for, man?

1093
00:56:34,316 --> 00:56:36,525
It's gonna be a long night.

1094
00:56:38,734 --> 00:56:40,149
- Carl.
- Philip.

1095
00:56:40,150 --> 00:56:41,941
- How are you?
- Wonderful.

1096
00:56:41,942 --> 00:56:44,358
You know miss janowitz
from the chemistry department.

1097
00:56:44,359 --> 00:56:46,400
And miss lovell from administration.

1098
00:56:46,401 --> 00:56:48,984
- You know my wife, Sheila.
- Almost didn't recognize you.

1099
00:56:48,985 --> 00:56:51,610
I thought you brought a
professional model to the party.

1100
00:56:51,611 --> 00:56:54,360
- You look lovely.
- Oh, Philip.

1101
00:56:54,361 --> 00:56:56,068
Yeah, the bitch is fine, ain't she?

1102
00:56:56,069 --> 00:56:57,402
What?

1103
00:56:57,403 --> 00:56:59,528
Dear, can you at least feign some interest?

1104
00:56:59,529 --> 00:57:00,944
You're embarrassing me.

1105
00:57:00,945 --> 00:57:03,737
And will you loosen up?
You're so stiff sometimes.

1106
00:57:03,738 --> 00:57:05,196
Stiff?

1107
00:57:05,197 --> 00:57:08,112
This party is stiff.

1108
00:57:08,113 --> 00:57:10,113
Excuse me, can you hold this?
I'm hot.

1109
00:57:10,114 --> 00:57:11,946
Can you put this back on, actually?

1110
00:57:11,947 --> 00:57:13,781
Your... your butt is sticking out.

1111
00:57:14,989 --> 00:57:16,782
What?

1112
00:57:17,699 --> 00:57:19,741
What a jerk!

1113
00:57:21,449 --> 00:57:23,699
Philip: Don't spoil your appetite.
We're about to have

1114
00:57:23,700 --> 00:57:25,782
some lobster bisque and Indian pudding.

1115
00:57:25,783 --> 00:57:28,033
I got the munchies like a motherfucker.

1116
00:57:28,034 --> 00:57:30,033
Hold this, baby.

1117
00:57:30,034 --> 00:57:31,866
He seems unusual tonight.

1118
00:57:31,867 --> 00:57:33,826
He's dehydrated.

1119
00:57:36,826 --> 00:57:38,826
Dance.

1120
00:57:40,203 --> 00:57:41,826
Yo, baby, this is boring as hell!

1121
00:57:41,827 --> 00:57:43,702
Yo, yo, yo, dj?!

1122
00:57:43,703 --> 00:57:46,786
Hit me!

1123
00:57:54,246 --> 00:57:55,829
Come here, girl!

1124
00:57:57,997 --> 00:58:00,331
Go, Dean!

1125
00:58:16,709 --> 00:58:18,708
See, I told you I have you covered.

1126
00:58:18,709 --> 00:58:21,876
There go the two big ballers right there.

1127
00:58:23,876 --> 00:58:26,336
- You two stay put.
- I'm going to hurt you.

1128
00:58:27,711 --> 00:58:29,835
Hey, hey, hey...

1129
00:58:31,044 --> 00:58:33,002
Yo, j, yo, t.

1130
00:58:33,003 --> 00:58:35,960
See those two fine-ass hos right there?

1131
00:58:35,961 --> 00:58:38,295
Don't you wish they were really hos?

1132
00:58:38,296 --> 00:58:39,795
And they came over here and said,

1133
00:58:39,796 --> 00:58:42,378
"we want to run a dick-sucking marathon

1134
00:58:42,379 --> 00:58:43,879
with y'all two."

1135
00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:46,296
- Oh, yeah. I'd like that.
- Me, too.

1136
00:58:46,297 --> 00:58:48,756
Okay, you and you.

1137
00:58:48,757 --> 00:58:51,881
We want to run a dick-sucking
marathon with y'all.

1138
00:58:53,215 --> 00:58:55,048
Tuan: Okay.

1139
00:58:55,049 --> 00:58:56,798
I'm not that good at it.

1140
00:58:56,799 --> 00:58:58,465
Oh, baby, I ain't laughing.

1141
00:58:58,466 --> 00:59:00,758
I'm gonna make you mine.

1142
00:59:00,759 --> 00:59:02,591
Smells good.

1143
00:59:02,592 --> 00:59:04,550
Pretty boy lookin' motherfucker.

1144
00:59:05,425 --> 00:59:07,342
Hey, don't be scared.

1145
00:59:07,343 --> 00:59:09,092
It's only pussy.

1146
00:59:10,259 --> 00:59:12,218
Don't be scared.

1147
00:59:12,219 --> 00:59:14,885
I got two inches of hard dick.

1148
00:59:16,093 --> 00:59:18,553
I'll work with you, baby.
Come on.

1149
00:59:23,471 --> 00:59:25,136
Powder: Costume party.

1150
00:59:25,137 --> 00:59:27,762
Place, lovell house.
Time, Friday.

1151
00:59:27,763 --> 00:59:30,429
- It is Friday.
- That's what she told cocoa butter.

1152
00:59:30,430 --> 00:59:32,513
These bitches better be getting my money.

1153
00:59:32,514 --> 00:59:34,930
Hella back is my bottom bitch.
You know that, right?

1154
00:59:34,931 --> 00:59:36,680
- Right, right.
- Okay.

1155
00:59:36,681 --> 00:59:38,472
The bitch better be out
here checkin' my money.

1156
00:59:38,473 --> 00:59:40,640
Please don't cuss.
You know when I'm trying

1157
00:59:40,641 --> 00:59:42,765
to listen to the word.
The lord don't like that.

1158
00:59:42,766 --> 00:59:45,014
- What did I say?
- You said, "bitch."

1159
00:59:45,015 --> 00:59:47,224
And "bitch" ain't in the Bible.

1160
00:59:47,225 --> 00:59:49,098
I know, bitch!
And neither is motherfucker!

1161
00:59:49,099 --> 00:59:51,140
So drive this motherfuckin' car!

1162
00:59:51,141 --> 00:59:53,308
And you the assistant pimp.

1163
00:59:53,309 --> 00:59:55,016
You ain't even a real pimp.

1164
00:59:55,017 --> 00:59:57,433
You're supposed to co-signing
to the shit that I say.

1165
00:59:57,434 --> 00:59:59,809
You want to lose your job?
I'm gonna pull your application.

1166
00:59:59,810 --> 01:00:01,850
Now let's practice it.
Where's my bitches?

1167
01:00:01,851 --> 01:00:04,060
- Where's my bitches?
- Where's my bitches?

1168
01:00:04,061 --> 01:00:06,477
You got to say it together.
It goes in together.

1169
01:00:06,478 --> 01:00:08,352
- Where my bitches?
- Where my bitches?

1170
01:00:08,353 --> 01:00:09,852
Okay, check this out.
Where my bitches?

1171
01:00:09,853 --> 01:00:12,269
Where my... can't we just say employees?

1172
01:00:12,270 --> 01:00:14,937
What about your employees?
No, fuck that.

1173
01:00:18,230 --> 01:00:20,480
Great ass!

1174
01:00:37,107 --> 01:00:39,858
Crowd: Go, go, go!

1175
01:00:45,901 --> 01:00:48,526
- Silas, hi.
- Hey, hey.

1176
01:00:48,527 --> 01:00:50,109
Let me ask you a question.

1177
01:00:50,110 --> 01:00:51,527
Now, don't laugh.

1178
01:00:51,528 --> 01:00:53,193
But, um...

1179
01:00:53,194 --> 01:00:55,068
Does my ass look fat?

1180
01:00:55,069 --> 01:00:58,027
No, I say put another one
on the front of you just like it,

1181
01:00:58,028 --> 01:00:59,944
I'll slap both them motherfuckers.

1182
01:00:59,945 --> 01:01:01,821
Badow! Badow!

1183
01:01:02,821 --> 01:01:05,654
Here, peer pressure.
Peer pressure.

1184
01:01:05,655 --> 01:01:08,904
- Let me holler at you.
- Okay.

1185
01:01:08,905 --> 01:01:10,905
Oh, that's my song.

1186
01:01:12,739 --> 01:01:14,572
Ooh, what's this?

1187
01:01:14,573 --> 01:01:17,489
Ooh, you got a big sword, baby.

1188
01:01:17,490 --> 01:01:19,156
I...

1189
01:01:19,157 --> 01:01:20,698
I have to go prepare.

1190
01:01:20,699 --> 01:01:23,281
You ain't got to do shit, baby,

1191
01:01:23,282 --> 01:01:25,199
except climb out of this costume

1192
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:27,949
and climb into some pussy.

1193
01:01:27,950 --> 01:01:30,282
You have to appreciate the colorful use

1194
01:01:30,283 --> 01:01:32,450
- of english language.
- Oh, yeah!

1195
01:01:32,451 --> 01:01:35,033
Give me that Chinese egg roll fuck.

1196
01:01:35,034 --> 01:01:37,368
Tuan: I love America!

1197
01:01:47,869 --> 01:01:49,869
Let it be something that he is involved in,

1198
01:01:49,870 --> 01:01:53,286
and I'd better be the biggest cheerleader.
He's a huge baby.

1199
01:01:53,287 --> 01:01:56,037
Yeah, I hear you with your fine ass,
but pass the blunt.

1200
01:01:56,038 --> 01:01:58,287
Damn, you hogging the whole shit.

1201
01:01:58,288 --> 01:02:00,664
I'm sorry.

1202
01:02:00,665 --> 01:02:03,456
I must be buzzed, I'm babbling.

1203
01:02:04,456 --> 01:02:07,457
You know, you surprised me
by getting high.

1204
01:02:08,415 --> 01:02:10,331
I'm not that much of a square, Silas.

1205
01:02:10,332 --> 01:02:12,750
I did do it once in high school.

1206
01:02:15,375 --> 01:02:17,124
What about you?

1207
01:02:17,125 --> 01:02:18,792
We all have secrets.

1208
01:02:18,793 --> 01:02:20,458
Well, if you act right,

1209
01:02:20,459 --> 01:02:22,875
I might just let you in my head one day.

1210
01:02:22,876 --> 01:02:24,292
Whatever.

1211
01:02:24,293 --> 01:02:27,000
But I ain't saying shit on the first date.

1212
01:02:27,001 --> 01:02:29,377
Who said this was a date?

1213
01:02:29,378 --> 01:02:31,168
You smoked my weed, didn't you?

1214
01:02:31,169 --> 01:02:33,168
And we almost kissed, didn't we?

1215
01:02:33,169 --> 01:02:35,086
- We did not.
- Yes, we did.

1216
01:02:35,087 --> 01:02:36,837
- We did not.
- Here, hit this.

1217
01:02:43,255 --> 01:02:46,505
Oh, my bad.
Did I spoil the moment?

1218
01:02:46,506 --> 01:02:49,338
I can't help it, though.
Them shits was talking to me.

1219
01:02:49,339 --> 01:02:50,921
You know what?

1220
01:02:50,922 --> 01:02:53,130
Look at them things.
Turn the headlights off.

1221
01:02:53,131 --> 01:02:55,673
I'm gonna tell you something.
This pimpin' that I got in my blood,

1222
01:02:55,674 --> 01:02:57,172
it came from a family trait.

1223
01:02:57,173 --> 01:02:59,090
My grandaddy was a pimp.

1224
01:02:59,091 --> 01:03:01,507
My great-great-great grandaddy was a pimp.

1225
01:03:01,508 --> 01:03:03,675
I'm talking about pimpin'
been since pimpin'

1226
01:03:03,676 --> 01:03:04,758
since been pimpin'.

1227
01:03:04,759 --> 01:03:07,091
- It's in your bloodline.
- It's in my blood.

1228
01:03:07,092 --> 01:03:09,717
- And you will never be that.
- Wh... what?

1229
01:03:09,718 --> 01:03:12,008
Because you was born, all the people

1230
01:03:12,009 --> 01:03:13,925
in your family were assistant pimps.

1231
01:03:13,926 --> 01:03:16,552
Assistant pimp?
I never did tell you that.

1232
01:03:16,553 --> 01:03:18,677
I thought you was the one the lord chose.

1233
01:03:18,678 --> 01:03:20,343
If it had not been for the lord,

1234
01:03:20,344 --> 01:03:21,927
I wouldn't have not

1235
01:03:21,928 --> 01:03:23,803
had a bitch come into my life.

1236
01:03:23,804 --> 01:03:25,636
- Not now, never?
- Not a now, notha bitch.

1237
01:03:25,637 --> 01:03:28,262
Nobody say that now,
nothing like you say that now notha.

1238
01:03:28,263 --> 01:03:29,762
Not a now, notha bitch.

1239
01:03:29,763 --> 01:03:31,679
And I still don't know
what that shit means,

1240
01:03:31,680 --> 01:03:33,137
but it sound good.

1241
01:03:33,138 --> 01:03:34,555
Now notha means,

1242
01:03:34,556 --> 01:03:36,887
"don't get a now nothin'."

1243
01:03:36,888 --> 01:03:39,390
- A now nothin'.
- Nothin' outta them.

1244
01:03:40,306 --> 01:03:42,222
Man, shut the fuck up
and drive this mother...

1245
01:03:42,223 --> 01:03:43,931
I apologize, father.

1246
01:04:02,727 --> 01:04:05,269
Raging party with open
beer cans in hallway.

1247
01:04:19,272 --> 01:04:21,272
What's this?

1248
01:04:27,106 --> 01:04:28,855
Sterilize hands tonight.

1249
01:04:28,856 --> 01:04:31,649
Sterilize hands tonight with
anti-bacterial cream many times.

1250
01:04:40,483 --> 01:04:42,651
What do we have here?

1251
01:04:43,776 --> 01:04:45,818
Nothing.

1252
01:04:47,192 --> 01:04:48,985
Ah-ha!

1253
01:04:51,110 --> 01:04:53,777
Multi-socket extension cubes.

1254
01:04:53,778 --> 01:04:55,652
This is against campus fire code,

1255
01:04:55,653 --> 01:04:57,193
section 1743:

1256
01:04:57,194 --> 01:04:59,444
"Thou shall not allow
multi-socket extension cubes

1257
01:04:59,445 --> 01:05:02,319
use in dorm rooms.

1258
01:05:02,320 --> 01:05:04,987
The extension cords
themselves are intertwined

1259
01:05:04,988 --> 01:05:06,737
in the most flammable of ways,

1260
01:05:06,738 --> 01:05:08,779
and are producing an
immense amount of heat.

1261
01:05:08,780 --> 01:05:10,947
It could cause an ignition at any point... "

1262
01:05:23,074 --> 01:05:24,991
I'll be damned.
What is that?

1263
01:05:25,991 --> 01:05:27,323
It's...

1264
01:05:27,324 --> 01:05:29,616
This a baby.

1265
01:05:38,034 --> 01:05:40,076
This ain't no damn baby.

1266
01:05:40,077 --> 01:05:41,743
What kind of shit is that
hangin' out the back?

1267
01:05:41,744 --> 01:05:43,702
I need to get her home.
Excuse me.

1268
01:05:43,703 --> 01:05:45,744
Where you going with that?

1269
01:05:45,745 --> 01:05:47,869
- Come on.
- God damn.

1270
01:05:53,162 --> 01:05:55,161
Where them motherfuckin' bitches at?

1271
01:05:55,162 --> 01:05:56,745
Man, it smell like...

1272
01:05:56,746 --> 01:05:58,538
Look at that, look at
this little bitty bitch.

1273
01:05:58,539 --> 01:06:00,996
Hey, little bitty bitch.

1274
01:06:00,997 --> 01:06:03,414
You little bitch, you
better get up off of me!

1275
01:06:03,415 --> 01:06:05,914
Where's my bitches?

1276
01:06:07,498 --> 01:06:09,123
Yo, what's up, homie?

1277
01:06:09,124 --> 01:06:10,873
- Where's my bitches at?
- Where're our bitches?

1278
01:06:10,874 --> 01:06:12,498
You got the voice down,

1279
01:06:12,499 --> 01:06:14,206
but those outfits no good.

1280
01:06:14,207 --> 01:06:15,749
What's wrong with my shit?

1281
01:06:15,750 --> 01:06:18,874
Homie, puh-lease!
Your Halloween costume!

1282
01:06:18,875 --> 01:06:21,917
If you pimp, you broke pimp!

1283
01:06:22,917 --> 01:06:25,000
You know you're fucked
up, Woody, don't you?

1284
01:06:25,001 --> 01:06:26,918
- Come on with it.
- Baby powder?

1285
01:06:28,377 --> 01:06:30,419
You changing diapers?

1286
01:07:08,634 --> 01:07:10,466
What the fuck is all this?

1287
01:07:10,467 --> 01:07:12,967
- What you all three bitches want?
- Tell 'em, powder!

1288
01:07:12,968 --> 01:07:15,134
We already got pussy here.
Y'all come back later.

1289
01:07:15,135 --> 01:07:16,967
I'm about to knock you the fuck out.

1290
01:07:16,968 --> 01:07:19,511
I'm gonna do the knockin' out.
Come on with it.

1291
01:07:31,430 --> 01:07:33,013
Where you going?

1292
01:07:33,929 --> 01:07:35,513
You got to stay!

1293
01:07:35,514 --> 01:07:38,054
A party ain't a party without you!

1294
01:07:38,055 --> 01:07:39,681
You smelly little mother...

1295
01:07:41,264 --> 01:07:43,348
Plus, there's no room in the limo!

1296
01:07:44,640 --> 01:07:46,181
I'll be back for you, man!

1297
01:07:48,683 --> 01:07:50,182
You ain't gonna need this.

1298
01:07:51,182 --> 01:07:53,516
Cops!

1299
01:07:53,517 --> 01:07:55,433
Somebody owes me for a night's worth

1300
01:07:55,434 --> 01:07:57,350
of flat-back fuckin' up in here!

1301
01:08:06,394 --> 01:08:09,059
This is exhilarating.
But don't get the wrong idea.

1302
01:08:09,060 --> 01:08:11,394
Megan and I have never done
anything like this before.

1303
01:08:11,395 --> 01:08:14,436
- We're virgins.
- Yeah, both of us.

1304
01:08:14,437 --> 01:08:17,478
Molly and I are really into diangelo.

1305
01:08:17,479 --> 01:08:19,562
- Do you have any?
- Ain't that a bi...

1306
01:08:19,563 --> 01:08:21,270
Hell, no!
We ain't got no diang...

1307
01:08:21,271 --> 01:08:22,771
And let me let you know something!

1308
01:08:22,772 --> 01:08:24,896
While in this car, you don't run shit!

1309
01:08:24,897 --> 01:08:27,187
- Tell 'em, powder.
- Dick drives this car!

1310
01:08:27,188 --> 01:08:28,523
Not pussy!

1311
01:08:29,939 --> 01:08:32,564
You think it's funny, bitch?!
This is pimpin' here.

1312
01:08:32,565 --> 01:08:34,398
I've been on "wheel of fortune,"

1313
01:08:34,399 --> 01:08:35,981
"price is right... " it's funny?

1314
01:08:35,982 --> 01:08:37,690
- Come on with it.
- Oh, boy.

1315
01:08:37,691 --> 01:08:39,649
Y'all rather piss off
barracuda than piss off powder.

1316
01:08:39,650 --> 01:08:41,566
Oh, it's funny.
Keep on laughing.

1317
01:08:41,567 --> 01:08:43,275
Bring your face over here.

1318
01:08:44,692 --> 01:08:46,568
Pay that shit!

1319
01:08:48,610 --> 01:08:49,941
Wow.

1320
01:08:49,942 --> 01:08:52,693
Ooh.

1321
01:08:52,694 --> 01:08:55,276
Jamal: Man, come on.
You act like I took it.

1322
01:08:55,277 --> 01:08:57,611
- We'll just get some more.
- Ain't no more.

1323
01:08:57,612 --> 01:08:59,902
All of ivory's ashes
was in just that plant.

1324
01:08:59,903 --> 01:09:01,569
Now, come on, let's go see

1325
01:09:01,570 --> 01:09:03,820
what this Dean stick-up-his-ass wants.

1326
01:09:03,821 --> 01:09:06,111
He probably gonna curse us out
about that wild-ass party.

1327
01:09:06,112 --> 01:09:08,739
Man, that party was not that wild.

1328
01:09:11,363 --> 01:09:14,030
Yeah, it did get a little out of hand.

1329
01:09:14,031 --> 01:09:15,572
Know what I'm saying?

1330
01:09:15,573 --> 01:09:17,447
Sex novelties, obscenity,

1331
01:09:17,448 --> 01:09:20,489
fighting, indecent exposure,

1332
01:09:20,490 --> 01:09:23,490
rock bands without a permit.

1333
01:09:24,657 --> 01:09:27,825
Welcome, gentlemen, to academic probation.

1334
01:09:29,158 --> 01:09:31,240
Damn, who gonna be our o.O.?

1335
01:09:31,241 --> 01:09:33,451
How charmingly ghetto.

1336
01:09:34,451 --> 01:09:35,992
You're dismissed.

1337
01:09:41,076 --> 01:09:42,993
We ain't got no ivory,

1338
01:09:42,994 --> 01:09:46,285
we're about to get kicked
the fuck out of here,

1339
01:09:46,286 --> 01:09:48,327
and what the fuck are you doing?

1340
01:09:48,328 --> 01:09:50,411
I'm working on my truth serum.

1341
01:09:50,412 --> 01:09:52,828
Why you got to sound
all belligerent about my shit?

1342
01:09:52,829 --> 01:09:55,162
- "Belligerent"?
- Yeah, belligerent.

1343
01:09:55,163 --> 01:09:57,163
As in abusive or truculent.

1344
01:09:59,330 --> 01:10:01,830
You keep on using them
big-ass Harvard words

1345
01:10:01,831 --> 01:10:04,496
and your ghetto pass is gonna get revoked.

1346
01:10:04,497 --> 01:10:06,914
Why don't you go pick
up a book or something?

1347
01:10:06,915 --> 01:10:08,372
If I get this shit right,

1348
01:10:08,373 --> 01:10:09,831
I'll get an "a" in botany class.

1349
01:10:09,832 --> 01:10:13,582
- Ah, motherfucker.
- When I was 12,

1350
01:10:13,583 --> 01:10:16,707
I used to love watching my dogs hump.

1351
01:10:16,708 --> 01:10:20,374
We used to have a good time.

1352
01:10:23,918 --> 01:10:25,543
Aaah!

1353
01:10:27,209 --> 01:10:29,042
God, this shit is nasty.

1354
01:10:29,043 --> 01:10:30,627
Aaah!

1355
01:10:30,628 --> 01:10:33,877
What the fuck is that?

1356
01:10:33,878 --> 01:10:36,002
I'm going to have to
tweak this shit a little.

1357
01:10:36,003 --> 01:10:38,336
Me hungry.

1358
01:10:38,337 --> 01:10:42,253
I say we burn them books,
go to that graveyard,

1359
01:10:42,254 --> 01:10:45,170
find us a smart dead guy,

1360
01:10:45,171 --> 01:10:47,254
and smoke his skeleton ass.

1361
01:10:47,255 --> 01:10:49,087
We sit down, Blaze up,

1362
01:10:49,088 --> 01:10:51,421
hit the books for a few hours a day,

1363
01:10:51,422 --> 01:10:53,464
we got this.

1364
01:10:53,465 --> 01:10:56,089
I'm telling you, we don't
need no smart dead guy.

1365
01:10:57,548 --> 01:10:58,840
Woo hoo hoo hoo.

1366
01:10:58,841 --> 01:11:01,131
That's what I'm talking about.

1367
01:11:01,132 --> 01:11:02,924
Light that shit up.

1368
01:11:05,467 --> 01:11:07,592
Hit them books, toonie.

1369
01:11:42,681 --> 01:11:44,890
Jamal: These are our midterms?

1370
01:11:44,891 --> 01:11:46,972
See what I'm saying?
All f's, son.

1371
01:11:46,973 --> 01:11:49,306
We are fucked.
Fucked, fucked, fucked, fucked!

1372
01:11:49,307 --> 01:11:52,474
How did I fail women's studies?

1373
01:11:52,475 --> 01:11:54,974
I love bitches!

1374
01:11:58,309 --> 01:11:59,558
What are we doing?

1375
01:11:59,559 --> 01:12:02,101
Looking for a smart dead guy.

1376
01:12:03,602 --> 01:12:06,392
Well, guys. Hey!
This guy'll do.

1377
01:12:06,393 --> 01:12:07,977
He's a president.

1378
01:12:10,436 --> 01:12:12,769
Yeah, he should know
all the fucking answers.

1379
01:12:12,770 --> 01:12:15,686
Answers?
What are you talking about?

1380
01:12:15,687 --> 01:12:17,269
Oh, no, no, no, no!
Wait, no, no!

1381
01:12:17,270 --> 01:12:19,771
You can't dig up somebody's grave!
That's disgusting!

1382
01:12:19,772 --> 01:12:22,562
You guys don't think there's
anything wrong with this?

1383
01:12:22,563 --> 01:12:24,729
Huh?

1384
01:12:24,730 --> 01:12:28,022
You guys are fucked up!
What are you gonna do with this now?

1385
01:12:29,856 --> 01:12:32,856
What the fuck is this shit?

1386
01:12:32,857 --> 01:12:35,773
Oh god.

1387
01:12:35,774 --> 01:12:37,899
Stop acting like a little bitch.
Get the body.

1388
01:12:37,900 --> 01:12:40,316
Shit.

1389
01:12:41,107 --> 01:12:43,858
What the fuck are you doing?

1390
01:12:43,859 --> 01:12:46,024
Get the body, man.

1391
01:12:46,025 --> 01:12:48,817
Jamal: You should have some more
respect for an ex-president.

1392
01:12:48,818 --> 01:12:51,275
Asshole.

1393
01:12:51,276 --> 01:12:53,233
Silas: Come on, put this shit on your back.

1394
01:12:53,234 --> 01:12:55,401
Jeff: Oh god, no.

1395
01:12:55,402 --> 01:12:57,652
Silas:
Shut up before I slap the shit out of you!

1396
01:12:57,653 --> 01:13:00,070
Come on, come on, come on.

1397
01:13:02,737 --> 01:13:05,236
Oh my god, it's so...

1398
01:13:08,655 --> 01:13:10,820
Fly!

1399
01:13:10,821 --> 01:13:12,029
Go fly!

1400
01:13:12,030 --> 01:13:14,112
Yo, Silas!
What's up, dog?

1401
01:13:14,113 --> 01:13:16,071
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1402
01:13:16,072 --> 01:13:18,988
Who are you?
Can you see me?

1403
01:13:18,989 --> 01:13:21,906
- Relax! Relax!
- It's not opening. Open window!

1404
01:13:21,907 --> 01:13:24,657
Yo, what the fuck are we gonna do now?

1405
01:13:24,658 --> 01:13:26,823
Fuck you think we gonna do?

1406
01:13:26,824 --> 01:13:29,741
We gonna smoke his ass,
then we gonna start asking questions.

1407
01:13:29,742 --> 01:13:30,908
Wait a minute.

1408
01:13:30,909 --> 01:13:32,990
Didn't you put the ashes in the soil

1409
01:13:32,991 --> 01:13:35,158
before you grew the plant?

1410
01:13:35,159 --> 01:13:36,825
We ain't got no time for that shit.

1411
01:13:36,826 --> 01:13:38,784
We got to grind him now.
Get this on.

1412
01:13:38,785 --> 01:13:42,034
No, no, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

1413
01:13:42,035 --> 01:13:44,284
This is a president, man.

1414
01:13:44,285 --> 01:13:45,743
What the fuck are we doing?

1415
01:13:45,744 --> 01:13:47,952
You want to stay in Harvard or what?

1416
01:13:47,953 --> 01:13:50,744
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

1417
01:13:50,745 --> 01:13:52,703
I need money, did you
check him for any jewelry

1418
01:13:52,704 --> 01:13:54,495
or money on him or anything?

1419
01:13:54,496 --> 01:13:58,120
Fuck all that!
I'm cutting this arm now!

1420
01:13:58,121 --> 01:14:00,789
Son of a... shit!

1421
01:14:04,373 --> 01:14:06,455
Get the arm!
Get the arm, man!

1422
01:14:06,456 --> 01:14:07,830
Y'all calm down!
We got this!

1423
01:14:07,831 --> 01:14:10,289
- Calm down!
- Jeff: This is insane.

1424
01:14:10,290 --> 01:14:13,456
Ohh, shit!

1425
01:14:13,457 --> 01:14:15,833
You is a nasty motherfucker!

1426
01:14:30,877 --> 01:14:33,877
I can't smoke a finger.

1427
01:14:36,544 --> 01:14:38,002
This shit's not working.

1428
01:14:41,003 --> 01:14:43,503
Hey, what up, bro's?

1429
01:14:43,504 --> 01:14:46,295
I didn't know that you guys
were gonna be here!

1430
01:14:46,296 --> 01:14:48,128
I saved your plant.

1431
01:14:48,129 --> 01:14:51,546
What did you do to it?

1432
01:14:51,547 --> 01:14:53,338
This is a special plant.

1433
01:14:53,339 --> 01:14:55,129
I know.

1434
01:14:55,130 --> 01:14:58,089
- You stole our plant!
- Damn right he stole your plant.

1435
01:14:58,090 --> 01:15:01,005
Yo, Silas, this idiot
smoked up all the plant!

1436
01:15:01,006 --> 01:15:02,882
You're gonna have to study on your own.

1437
01:15:02,883 --> 01:15:04,632
Damn, they can't hear me or see me.

1438
01:15:04,633 --> 01:15:07,215
- Tell 'em!
- S-s-someone else was breaking in here.

1439
01:15:07,216 --> 01:15:10,383
So I caught them.
Maybe you can give me a reward, right?

1440
01:15:10,384 --> 01:15:14,092
- Like more of the plant?
- We ain't got no more goddamn plant!

1441
01:15:14,093 --> 01:15:16,342
Hoggin' all the good shit, huh?
That's fine.

1442
01:15:16,343 --> 01:15:18,509
Let's go, ivory!

1443
01:15:18,510 --> 01:15:20,927
- Wait, ivory here?
- Yeah, maybe.

1444
01:15:20,928 --> 01:15:22,885
- Ivory: Repeat after me.
- Repeat after me.

1445
01:15:22,886 --> 01:15:24,259
- Yo, dog!
- Yo, zog!

1446
01:15:24,260 --> 01:15:26,052
- Dog!
- Zog!

1447
01:15:26,053 --> 01:15:27,678
- You idiot!
- You idiot!

1448
01:15:27,679 --> 01:15:29,928
- Shit, I'm disappearing.
- Shit, I'm disappearing.

1449
01:15:29,929 --> 01:15:31,095
- What?
- What?

1450
01:15:31,096 --> 01:15:33,054
- What?
- What?
- What?

1451
01:15:35,513 --> 01:15:38,096
Silas: This reminds me of
my lab back at the crib.

1452
01:15:38,097 --> 01:15:40,846
I have some of this same stuff.

1453
01:15:40,847 --> 01:15:43,806
- How'd you get that?
- I stole it.

1454
01:15:43,807 --> 01:15:46,180
Why don't you just place
them on the wall there?

1455
01:15:46,181 --> 01:15:47,890
Well, well, well.

1456
01:15:47,891 --> 01:15:52,807
Never thought I'd find you two
ghetto asses up in here studying.

1457
01:15:52,808 --> 01:15:54,557
Ghetto asses?

1458
01:15:54,558 --> 01:15:56,140
Oh, did I say that?

1459
01:15:56,141 --> 01:15:59,307
It must be the effects
of the brownies you sent me.

1460
01:15:59,308 --> 01:16:01,267
They must still be in my system.

1461
01:16:02,351 --> 01:16:04,642
Lauren, how's the project coming?

1462
01:16:04,643 --> 01:16:07,101
Fine.
As a matter of fact,

1463
01:16:07,102 --> 01:16:10,726
I'm going to check on that right now.
You know, I got to go.

1464
01:16:10,727 --> 01:16:12,977
No, no, no, no, no.

1465
01:16:12,978 --> 01:16:15,102
Yo, Dean, why you got to be a hater?

1466
01:16:15,103 --> 01:16:16,978
Oh, yes, I'm a hater.

1467
01:16:16,979 --> 01:16:19,645
I hate pot-smoking punks
that think everything

1468
01:16:19,646 --> 01:16:21,520
should just be given to them.

1469
01:16:21,521 --> 01:16:24,479
You two are an absolute
disgrace to this university.

1470
01:16:24,480 --> 01:16:27,646
Yo, Dean, man.
What are those?

1471
01:16:27,647 --> 01:16:29,063
Oh, these?

1472
01:16:29,064 --> 01:16:31,313
These are invitations to
the alumni celebration

1473
01:16:31,314 --> 01:16:33,772
in which the vice president
will be attending.

1474
01:16:33,773 --> 01:16:35,523
And Lauren will be unveiling

1475
01:16:35,524 --> 01:16:37,690
her Benjamin Franklin experiment.

1476
01:16:37,691 --> 01:16:40,148
- Ah.
- Certain students will be invited.

1477
01:16:40,149 --> 01:16:42,023
Those that pass their finals.

1478
01:16:42,024 --> 01:16:44,565
- For real?
- But you won't pass your finals.

1479
01:16:44,566 --> 01:16:47,233
You'll fail, and then I'll
have you out of my hair

1480
01:16:47,234 --> 01:16:48,817
and out of Harvard.

1481
01:16:48,818 --> 01:16:51,109
Happy studying, gentlemen.

1482
01:16:52,151 --> 01:16:54,275
Fuck!

1483
01:16:54,276 --> 01:16:56,859
I'm trying to do my thing.
It's pimpin' over here, baby.

1484
01:16:56,860 --> 01:16:59,110
Baby powder, when you
gonna pay us our money?

1485
01:16:59,111 --> 01:17:01,735
- I got a $25 money order...
- $25?

1486
01:17:01,736 --> 01:17:03,736
- Money order?
- That you bitches can split.

1487
01:17:03,737 --> 01:17:05,611
Both: Who you calling a bitch, bitch?

1488
01:17:05,612 --> 01:17:07,361
- Come on with it.
- I got ya.

1489
01:17:07,362 --> 01:17:09,946
Oh! If it ain't ricepuff daddy.

1490
01:17:09,947 --> 01:17:12,696
No, no, powder, that's run-msg.

1491
01:17:12,697 --> 01:17:14,863
Hey, what you listening to, brother?

1492
01:17:14,864 --> 01:17:16,863
- Wu-tang.
- Wu-tang.

1493
01:17:21,407 --> 01:17:23,280
I... we don't listen to that Chinese shit!

1494
01:17:23,281 --> 01:17:25,406
- We do this little trip.
- This what we do.

1495
01:17:25,407 --> 01:17:27,031
- You guys!
- Show 'em, powder!

1496
01:17:27,032 --> 01:17:28,949
- Powder, you a genius.
- You need to sit down.

1497
01:17:28,950 --> 01:17:32,032
I'm gonna round them
almond eyes of yours out!

1498
01:17:32,033 --> 01:17:34,241
- You understand me pimpin'?
- Hold on, powder.

1499
01:17:34,242 --> 01:17:37,826
Let's not get ig'nant.
Maybe he just came here to pay our money.

1500
01:17:37,827 --> 01:17:41,117
- No, I come for your girls.
- Wooo!

1501
01:17:41,118 --> 01:17:44,451
You're gonna come back and give me
them two duck sauces your mama...

1502
01:17:44,452 --> 01:17:47,785
- You can't hold me back!
- Go tuan!

1503
01:17:47,786 --> 01:17:49,703
Let me get my stinkin' blade out.

1504
01:17:49,704 --> 01:17:51,285
Let me get my blade out.
I'm gonna...

1505
01:17:52,328 --> 01:17:54,160
- Ooh, shit!
- Come on, bee-atch.

1506
01:17:54,161 --> 01:17:57,037
Man, it was two egg rolls.
It wasn't the duck sauce.

1507
01:17:58,830 --> 01:18:01,080
Oooh! Ow!

1508
01:18:02,914 --> 01:18:04,871
Who the bitch now, bitch?

1509
01:18:04,872 --> 01:18:06,371
Bee-atch!

1510
01:18:06,372 --> 01:18:09,580
I need to slap my goddamn self for that.

1511
01:18:09,581 --> 01:18:13,498
Pimps go through this kind
of shit from time to time.

1512
01:18:19,250 --> 01:18:20,916
Yes, Dean Cain here.

1513
01:18:20,917 --> 01:18:23,916
Yes, I did receive them.
As a matter of fact,

1514
01:18:23,917 --> 01:18:27,583
I was just going over
Silas and Jamal's grades,

1515
01:18:27,584 --> 01:18:29,500
and I see they're all f's.

1516
01:18:29,501 --> 01:18:31,876
Yes, I agree.

1517
01:18:31,877 --> 01:18:34,960
Very sad.
Very sad, indeed.

1518
01:18:34,961 --> 01:18:36,377
Yes. Well,

1519
01:18:36,378 --> 01:18:39,128
I'll speak to you later.
Bye bye.

1520
01:18:40,795 --> 01:18:43,629
Yes! Yes! Yes!

1521
01:18:45,421 --> 01:18:48,463
Tuan: Hey!

1522
01:18:49,463 --> 01:18:52,754
Dean Cain expects us off campus by Monday.

1523
01:18:52,755 --> 01:18:55,213
It went that bad in botany class?

1524
01:18:55,214 --> 01:18:57,922
Kid lost about 15 pounds of fluid.

1525
01:18:57,923 --> 01:18:59,464
And that was just from the mouth.

1526
01:18:59,465 --> 01:19:02,756
And I'm still below a 2.0.

1527
01:19:02,757 --> 01:19:04,967
We gonna get kicked the
fuck out this school.

1528
01:19:06,133 --> 01:19:08,007
Maybe I can go back to being your manager,

1529
01:19:08,008 --> 01:19:10,800
and you strip at that club
again like you used to.

1530
01:19:12,175 --> 01:19:15,341
No, you can't give up!
You can't let the Dean win.

1531
01:19:15,342 --> 01:19:18,843
Did commander riker give up when the borg
infiltrated the starship enterprise

1532
01:19:18,844 --> 01:19:21,676
and captain picard came
back all half-robot?

1533
01:19:21,677 --> 01:19:24,510
The borgs?
They're here!

1534
01:19:24,511 --> 01:19:26,593
Oh, god!
Run for your lives!

1535
01:19:28,429 --> 01:19:32,094
- The point is...
- My point is shut the fuck up.

1536
01:19:32,095 --> 01:19:34,470
It's over.

1537
01:19:34,471 --> 01:19:37,638
And we outta here.
Washing my hands.

1538
01:19:39,221 --> 01:19:41,221
Silas, man, you can't give up.

1539
01:19:41,222 --> 01:19:43,848
If you get this botany grade changed,
they have to keep you.

1540
01:19:45,348 --> 01:19:47,681
Yeah. My... my truth serum.

1541
01:19:47,682 --> 01:19:49,389
- Yeah.
- I got to fix it.

1542
01:19:49,390 --> 01:19:51,391
- That's right.
- Yo!

1543
01:19:58,225 --> 01:20:00,017
Here's your coffee.

1544
01:20:02,183 --> 01:20:04,059
Silas: Nausea.

1545
01:20:15,937 --> 01:20:17,602
Ah, Bart, nice to see you.

1546
01:20:17,603 --> 01:20:20,437
Listen, I think I have a solution

1547
01:20:20,438 --> 01:20:22,061
to your little problem.

1548
01:20:22,062 --> 01:20:24,687
Oh, no. I already got
the prescription filled.

1549
01:20:24,688 --> 01:20:26,855
Zing!

1550
01:20:26,856 --> 01:20:28,563
Not that problem.

1551
01:20:28,564 --> 01:20:30,062
I'm talking about the boys.

1552
01:20:30,063 --> 01:20:33,313
Those rejects have been rejected.

1553
01:20:33,314 --> 01:20:37,063
Yo, Dean Cain!
Look who's back.

1554
01:20:37,064 --> 01:20:39,898
Holler.

1555
01:20:39,899 --> 01:20:41,982
Phil: Dean, what a surprise.
Look who's here.

1556
01:20:41,983 --> 01:20:44,024
- How exciting.
- Guys we weren't expecting you,

1557
01:20:44,025 --> 01:20:45,733
but you're right on time.

1558
01:20:45,734 --> 01:20:48,943
Let's go meet the next
likely leader of the free world.

1559
01:20:51,568 --> 01:20:53,191
What are you two doing here?

1560
01:20:53,192 --> 01:20:55,443
Couldn't have my future ex-wife

1561
01:20:55,444 --> 01:20:57,234
show up to some bigwig event

1562
01:20:57,235 --> 01:20:59,609
without her daddy on her arms.

1563
01:20:59,610 --> 01:21:02,445
- Ain't that right, baby?
- Right, daddy.

1564
01:21:03,486 --> 01:21:06,027
Old friends, fellow alums,

1565
01:21:06,028 --> 01:21:08,611
it's wonderful being back here at Harvard.

1566
01:21:08,612 --> 01:21:11,028
And I get to see my beautiful daughter.

1567
01:21:11,029 --> 01:21:12,821
- Hi, honey.
- Hi, daddy.

1568
01:21:12,822 --> 01:21:14,946
Daddy?
This is Jamal.

1569
01:21:14,947 --> 01:21:18,030
- Jamal, this is my dad.
- Ah-ha. Hello, Jamal.

1570
01:21:18,031 --> 01:21:20,321
Mr. President.
And I call you Mr. President

1571
01:21:20,322 --> 01:21:22,905
'cause I know you gonna rock this election.

1572
01:21:22,906 --> 01:21:25,157
I hope you're right, son.
Uh-oh. Camera.

1573
01:21:32,783 --> 01:21:34,824
All right, ivory, this is the last of you.

1574
01:21:34,825 --> 01:21:36,533
Do your stuff.

1575
01:21:36,534 --> 01:21:39,324
- Ah!
- Oh, hey, professor.

1576
01:21:39,325 --> 01:21:41,492
- What's going on?
- Nice to see you again.

1577
01:21:41,493 --> 01:21:44,451
Listen, tonight I got a feeling you're
gonna see my experiment work.

1578
01:21:44,452 --> 01:21:47,118
I hope we don't have
to pass out any barf bags.

1579
01:21:47,119 --> 01:21:48,827
Don't even worry about that.

1580
01:21:48,828 --> 01:21:50,869
See, I found my secret ingredient.

1581
01:21:50,870 --> 01:21:53,661
By adding a little bit of chro... cannibis,

1582
01:21:53,662 --> 01:21:55,745
I was able to counteract the nausea.

1583
01:21:55,746 --> 01:21:57,745
I'm proud of you.

1584
01:21:57,746 --> 01:21:59,538
Thank you, professor.
Thank you, man.

1585
01:22:04,748 --> 01:22:07,747
- I actually feel wonderful.
- Isn't he great, daddy?

1586
01:22:07,748 --> 01:22:10,707
Both: Yeah. He's great.

1587
01:22:17,041 --> 01:22:19,206
Ow!

1588
01:22:19,207 --> 01:22:20,707
Secret service!

1589
01:22:20,708 --> 01:22:23,709
Hey, Jamie, here's your
dad after a frat party!

1590
01:22:25,167 --> 01:22:27,751
We don't want the Dean to
get his panties in a bunch!

1591
01:22:27,752 --> 01:22:30,042
- Carl, it's all right.
- He might want a spanking!

1592
01:22:30,043 --> 01:22:32,168
Sit down.

1593
01:22:36,169 --> 01:22:37,418
Jamal: Wait a minute.

1594
01:22:37,419 --> 01:22:39,335
I know y'all ain't playing grab-ass

1595
01:22:39,336 --> 01:22:42,335
while I'm entertaining my future
vanilla villa father are ya?

1596
01:22:42,336 --> 01:22:44,920
- Yeah! Oh, yeah!
- Mm-hm. Yeah?

1597
01:22:44,921 --> 01:22:47,920
Man, look.
The serum working.
They high, dog! Look!

1598
01:22:47,921 --> 01:22:49,879
Hey, man, look.
I got something to tell you.

1599
01:22:49,880 --> 01:22:52,212
Man, I've been pinching your weed off.

1600
01:22:52,213 --> 01:22:55,588
- What you telling me for?
- Damn! I don't know.

1601
01:22:55,589 --> 01:22:58,380
I guess it's that new serum, man.
I'm sorry, man.

1602
01:22:58,381 --> 01:23:01,255
- That's okay. Don't worry about it.
- It ain't all right.

1603
01:23:01,256 --> 01:23:04,465
I been taking your cds,
I been using your weed pipes,

1604
01:23:04,466 --> 01:23:07,882
- I even been looking at Lauren's ass.
- Whoa!

1605
01:23:07,883 --> 01:23:10,758
She's fine!
And if she gave me the chance,

1606
01:23:10,759 --> 01:23:13,299
I would wax that ass till
she showed me what she wa...

1607
01:23:13,300 --> 01:23:14,884
Whoa, whoa, bro.

1608
01:23:14,885 --> 01:23:18,175
Jamal, I will take that as a compliment.

1609
01:23:21,135 --> 01:23:22,509
Thank you.

1610
01:23:22,510 --> 01:23:24,968
We all know that Harvard
has been honored to host

1611
01:23:24,969 --> 01:23:27,260
some of Benjamin Franklin's artifacts,

1612
01:23:27,261 --> 01:23:29,552
which I personally found.

1613
01:23:29,553 --> 01:23:31,261
Like this Cannon-like article back here.

1614
01:23:31,262 --> 01:23:32,845
Now later, you can take note

1615
01:23:32,846 --> 01:23:35,470
of the foot-operated carburetor,

1616
01:23:35,471 --> 01:23:39,387
the reservoir, and the
top-loading bud bowl.

1617
01:23:39,388 --> 01:23:40,679
Ladies and gentlemen,

1618
01:23:40,680 --> 01:23:43,221
Harvard is now the proud owner

1619
01:23:43,222 --> 01:23:46,513
of America's first... Bong.

1620
01:23:48,599 --> 01:23:50,932
Dean Cain: A bong?!

1621
01:23:52,223 --> 01:23:53,973
This is outrageous!

1622
01:23:53,974 --> 01:23:56,016
If Benjamin Franklin were here today,

1623
01:23:56,017 --> 01:23:58,390
he would deny and denounce

1624
01:23:58,391 --> 01:24:00,975
any claim to these so-called findings!

1625
01:24:00,976 --> 01:24:04,475
I'm gonna have to disagree on that.

1626
01:24:04,476 --> 01:24:06,768
Yo, Ben, tell this fool.
Is that a bong or what?

1627
01:24:06,769 --> 01:24:08,809
Yup, it's the Liberty bong.

1628
01:24:08,810 --> 01:24:10,350
Light that shit.

1629
01:24:10,351 --> 01:24:14,351
Both: Smoke that shit. Pass that shit.

1630
01:24:14,352 --> 01:24:16,853
- You got to come to this party, Ben.
- You got a party?

1631
01:24:17,979 --> 01:24:19,811
Hey, man. Hey.

1632
01:24:19,812 --> 01:24:21,520
- Come on, man, smoke.
- Gerald!

1633
01:24:23,062 --> 01:24:25,645
Oh, yeah.

1634
01:24:27,605 --> 01:24:29,897
This is insane!

1635
01:24:29,898 --> 01:24:31,813
What are you all laughing at?!

1636
01:24:31,814 --> 01:24:33,897
Dean, I have had it with your uptight,

1637
01:24:33,898 --> 01:24:37,064
self-serving, over-opinionated ass!

1638
01:24:37,065 --> 01:24:39,856
- Jamal: Get him!
- In short, you are fired!

1639
01:24:41,900 --> 01:24:44,232
Oh, hit the bricks, dog!

1640
01:25:01,986 --> 01:25:04,569
- Silas!
- Jamal!

1641
01:25:04,570 --> 01:25:07,319
Yo, dog, man.
Look like you did it, dog.

1642
01:25:07,320 --> 01:25:08,903
You got a new serum, man.

1643
01:25:08,904 --> 01:25:11,361
You gonna be an herbal
scientist, my brother.

1644
01:25:11,362 --> 01:25:14,236
- Me and you turned this place upside down, didn't we?
- Did we!

1645
01:25:14,237 --> 01:25:16,571
Amazing what two brothers from the pj's

1646
01:25:16,572 --> 01:25:18,780
could do with just a
little bit of opportunity.

1647
01:25:18,781 --> 01:25:20,821
Word.

1648
01:25:20,822 --> 01:25:23,530
- Holler at ya, dog.
- I will.

1649
01:25:23,531 --> 01:25:25,614
Whoo!

1650
01:25:25,615 --> 01:25:28,115
Oh, secret service!

1651
01:25:31,324 --> 01:25:34,491
Wh-wh-whoa! Dean, Dean, ease
up on the black-on-black crime.

1652
01:25:36,658 --> 01:25:40,116
Oh! This motherfucker
done messed up my shit!

1653
01:25:40,117 --> 01:25:42,450
Back up, nigga!
You better give me three feet!

1654
01:25:42,451 --> 01:25:44,076
Give me three feet!

1655
01:25:44,911 --> 01:25:46,619
Whoa!

1656
01:25:50,244 --> 01:25:52,119
Hey, get up.

1657
01:25:53,953 --> 01:25:55,494
Oh, cool.

1658
01:25:55,495 --> 01:25:58,161
- Take him away, boys.
- Take your hands off of me!

1659
01:25:58,162 --> 01:26:00,787
Do you realize who I am?
What are you looking at?!

1660
01:26:00,788 --> 01:26:02,621
I need money!
You talked!

1661
01:26:02,622 --> 01:26:04,537
Why yes, Jamal.

1662
01:26:04,538 --> 01:26:06,370
It is somewhat of a surprise to me, also.

1663
01:26:06,371 --> 01:26:09,246
Lord, it's a gift!
It's a gift from above!

1664
01:26:09,247 --> 01:26:11,080
Make you float like a dove!

1665
01:26:11,081 --> 01:26:13,998
Make you scream like Michael
in a rhinestone glove!

1666
01:26:13,999 --> 01:26:15,332
Lord, lord, lord.

1667
01:26:17,207 --> 01:26:19,500
Both: Popcorn player.

1668
01:26:23,917 --> 01:26:26,249
I didn't inhale!
Whoo-hoo!

1669
01:26:26,250 --> 01:26:28,792
God, this is the wildest
time I've ever had.

1670
01:26:30,167 --> 01:26:31,834
Then you won't mind that I'm

1671
01:26:31,835 --> 01:26:33,334
banging your daughter on the regular?

1672
01:26:33,335 --> 01:26:34,751
No, no, not at all!

1673
01:26:34,752 --> 01:26:37,044
Good, 'cause Jamal's
gonna be my baby daddy.

1674
01:26:37,045 --> 01:26:38,752
Vice president: Ah.

1675
01:26:38,753 --> 01:26:41,669
- Son, welcome to the family.
- Daddy.

1676
01:26:43,962 --> 01:26:47,252
Silas, your experiment was a success.

1677
01:26:47,253 --> 01:26:49,378
Your serum worked,

1678
01:26:49,379 --> 01:26:51,879
and you're going to get
an "a" in my course.

1679
01:26:51,880 --> 01:26:54,463
- Ohh... professor!
- So that means I get to stay?

1680
01:26:54,464 --> 01:26:57,713
You betcha! You can stay as long
as it takes you to graduate.

1681
01:26:57,714 --> 01:26:59,839
I don't care.
Right, ladies?

1682
01:26:59,840 --> 01:27:02,714
- Both women: Mm-hm.
- Shall we, ladies?

1683
01:27:02,715 --> 01:27:05,339
Bart: Hey, down here!
This is not happening!

1684
01:27:05,340 --> 01:27:08,673
Lauren, you are coming with me!

1685
01:27:08,674 --> 01:27:11,883
Honey, you have never satisfied me.

1686
01:27:11,884 --> 01:27:13,051
Huh?

1687
01:27:13,926 --> 01:27:16,132
Silas?

1688
01:27:16,133 --> 01:27:17,885
But I can.

1689
01:27:27,427 --> 01:27:29,719
Now the day you lay off
is the day you pay off.

1690
01:27:29,720 --> 01:27:31,469
We come in here to get our old bitches,

1691
01:27:31,470 --> 01:27:32,928
but if they ain't in here,

1692
01:27:32,929 --> 01:27:34,553
we gonna get them intellect bitches

1693
01:27:34,554 --> 01:27:36,637
and start our own new stable.
You feel me?

1694
01:27:36,638 --> 01:27:39,303
Just keep it pimp-alicious, though, baby.

1695
01:27:39,304 --> 01:27:41,137
Powder, what are you doing here?

1696
01:27:41,138 --> 01:27:43,013
What are you doing in here, Phil?!

1697
01:27:43,014 --> 01:27:45,554
I've been rolling this joint for 20 years.

1698
01:27:45,555 --> 01:27:47,263
But if these people knew I was using

1699
01:27:47,264 --> 01:27:50,472
your dial-a-ho service,
they might not understand.

1700
01:27:50,473 --> 01:27:54,057
You are one of my biggest customers.
You like them hand jobs.

1701
01:27:54,058 --> 01:27:56,015
Fat bitches pissing on you all the time!

1702
01:27:56,016 --> 01:27:58,265
- I like the ladies.
- Lickin' poodle feets.

1703
01:27:58,266 --> 01:28:01,682
Let's stop it right there.
Have you ever been to college?

1704
01:28:01,683 --> 01:28:03,517
Yeah, two years.
Pussyology.

1705
01:28:03,518 --> 01:28:06,517
Academia. I like it.
Give me a call next week.

1706
01:28:06,518 --> 01:28:09,643
I think we can work something out.

1707
01:28:09,644 --> 01:28:12,643
Today's class is called pimpology I and ii.

1708
01:28:12,644 --> 01:28:14,643
I'm one, that's two.

1709
01:28:14,644 --> 01:28:15,811
That's what your ass will be

1710
01:28:15,812 --> 01:28:18,477
if you don't pass this class.

1711
01:28:18,478 --> 01:28:20,310
It got to come out right!

1712
01:28:20,311 --> 01:28:22,978
If it don't come out right
you ain't gonna get to pimp tonight!

1713
01:28:22,979 --> 01:28:25,269
- Where my bitches?
- Where my bitches?

1714
01:28:25,270 --> 01:28:27,813
Come on with it,

1715
01:28:27,814 --> 01:28:29,480
and let it fly!

1716
01:28:31,271 --> 01:28:34,647
Not yourselves!
Shit!

1717
01:28:34,648 --> 01:28:37,147
That was deep.
That was deep.

1718
01:28:38,232 --> 01:28:41,314
And b-cam roll.
B marker.

1719
01:28:41,315 --> 01:28:43,982
Cut!

1720
01:28:43,983 --> 01:28:47,482
And another thing.
I forgot my motherfuckin' line!

1721
01:28:47,483 --> 01:28:51,441
Yo, stop doing that shit.
You can't be laughing at me.

1722
01:28:51,442 --> 01:28:53,399
Fuck my close-up up, nigger.

1723
01:28:53,400 --> 01:28:57,068
They know we stole The statue.

1724
01:28:57,069 --> 01:29:01,276
I knew it!
You guys and your lies!

1725
01:29:01,277 --> 01:29:04,527
- Silas: Can I get some pussy?
- Sure. Come on in.

1726
01:29:04,528 --> 01:29:06,902
I told you we shoulda went to ucla.

1727
01:29:06,903 --> 01:29:10,528
I'm about to go stick my dick
in a thermos or something.

1728
01:29:11,904 --> 01:29:14,195
Puffs for purgatory.
For everybody. Line 'em up.

1729
01:29:14,196 --> 01:29:16,487
- Puffs for purgatory, baby.
- Puffs for purgatory.

1730
01:29:16,488 --> 01:29:18,153
Puffs for purgatory!

1731
01:29:18,154 --> 01:29:21,030
See each other no more.
I mean, the fuckin' around,

1732
01:29:21,031 --> 01:29:23,321
the s... ah, shit!

1733
01:29:35,908 --> 01:29:37,825
I pledge allegiance to the pimp,

1734
01:29:37,826 --> 01:29:41,075
the united pimps of America.

1735
01:29:41,076 --> 01:29:43,909
Silas: Come on, you fuckers!
Call action!

1736
01:29:43,910 --> 01:29:47,576
- Uh-oh.
- I don't give a fuck if it breaks.

1737
01:29:47,577 --> 01:29:50,284
You hear me?
God damn it!

1738
01:29:50,285 --> 01:29:52,660
Turn that goddamn water off!

1739
01:29:52,661 --> 01:29:56,285
Cut, cut, cut.

1740
01:29:56,286 --> 01:29:57,577
- Cut.
- Cut.

1741
01:29:57,578 --> 01:29:58,911
- Cut!
- Cut.

1742
01:29:58,912 --> 01:30:00,537
Cu-ut!

1743
01:30:00,538 --> 01:30:03,120
- The movie's over.
- Why are you guys still in your seat?

1744
01:30:03,121 --> 01:30:06,579
- Go home!
- Why don't y'all want to leave?

1745
01:30:08,789 --> 01:30:11,664
Yo ladies and gentlemen,

1746
01:30:11,665 --> 01:30:14,413
we got Toni Braxton up in the house.