Long ago in a distant land...
...I, Aku, the shape-shifting master of darkness...
...unleashed an unspeakable evil.
But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword...
...stepped forth to oppose me.
Before the final blow was struck...
...I tore open a portal in time, and flung him into the future...
...where my evil is law.
Now the fool seeks to return to the past...
...and undo the future that is Aku.
-Yeah? -Ricko Benny Giordano.
Come on in. WeIcome to the BIue Monkey.
WeIcome, friends. And a warm weIcome to the Buddy Righteous Orchestra.
And without any further ado...
...pIease weIcome the IoveIy LuIa LiIIywhite.
Okay, mac, that's enough.
Nice and sIow.
That's right, put the butter knife away.
Come on. Move it before we throw you out.
Wait. Let him stay.
It's okay. Let him go, see?
-You know, we couId use a guy Iike you. -''We''?
Me and the boys, see?
Stitches, Mr. Shine, Mr. PibbIes and KnuckIes.
-Yeah. WeII, actuaIIy, my reaI name is Joe. -Mr. PibbIes.
What exactIy does your organization do?
Why, me and the boys sort of run things around this town. Know what I mean?
Say, how'd you Iike to--?
It's aII right. You can put them down now.
How'd you Iike to be a member of the most feared gang in the city, see?
What activities does your gang participate in?
Stitches, break it down for him.
We fix things. Know what I mean?
Make sure money goes to the right pIaces around here: the horses, casinos, banks.
You foIIow?
You are invoIved in crime.
Now, did I say that?
Enough has been said.
Your activities are of no interest to me.
I wish to be no part of your group.
So a prima donna, eh?
Get out of here. Go on. Beat it, aItar boy.
What are you, crazy? You out of your mind?
What's up with this guy?
WeII, what are you aII standing around for?
We got a deIivery to make for Aku.
-Do you mean the great and powerfuI Aku? -Of course.
The master of darkness, the shogun of sorrow, the big boss himseIf: Aku.
-And you have deaIings with Aku in person? -Sure. AII the time.
-What's it to you anyway? -PIease forgive me. I thought you were--
-SmaII time? -WeII, no. I--
Oh, so now Mr. Goody-Two-SandaIs feeIs Iike taIking, eh?
PIease understand. I have spent my Iifetime preparing to come face to face with Aku.
FuIfiIIing this goaI wouId forever change my Iife.
Okay, boy. We'II give you a shot.
But you gotta pass a IittIe test first, see?
You know, to prove you got the stomach for it.
Here's the skinny.
It's not a hard job, but your heart's gotta be in the right place, see?
One of our clients, see, hasn't been paying his protection money.
So he needs to be rubbed out.
You tell him the Society for the Preservation of Animal Love has sent a surprise gift...
...as a token of appreciation for his ongoing love of animals, see?
Then you got 20 seconds to hightail it out of there...
...and then it's "bang. " The gift that keeps on giving.
-WeII, kid, how'd it go? -It went exactIy as pIanned.
The oId man took the package.
I said my Iines exactIy as I was supposed to.
He never suspected a thing.
After which, I immediately left the premises.
He never knew what hit him.
You shouId not be concerned with any further payment probIems with your cIients.
Pretty coId-bIooded, kid. I'm impressed, see?
A price must be paid for disobedience.
I Iike this guy.
Boys, meet ''Jackie the BIade.''
Looking pretty good there, huh? Yeah.
Nice-Iooking suit. Sure.
-Terrific. -I Iike the shoes.
With aII the accouterments, see?
Yeah, great. How come he gets the cooI name?
AII right, you knuckIeheads, Iisten up.
We're here to taIk about a very big job.
One of very speciaI interest to the big boss himseIf.
-Aku? -That's right, Jackie.
Now, nobody's ever puIIed this one off, see?
But with you on our side, we'II smoke it.
And we wiII get to meet Aku?
Not onIy wiII you get to meet him, but if we puII this off successfuIIy...
...the big boss wiII make us richer beyond our wiIdest dreams, see?
Boys, say heIIo to the PubIic Works and UtiIities BuiIding.
HeIIo.
It's a weII-kept secret that deep inside this buiIding...
...Iies the Iegendary Neptune JeweI, see?
And it's our job to get it out.
You mean, we gotta fit inside that IittIe thing?
-What is the importance of this jeweI? -Here's the short version, Jackie.
Long before you was born or I was born or anybody was born...
...the Neptune Jewel was kept inside this mountain, see?
Legend has it, it was placed there by an ancient spirit...
...who gave the jewel special powers to control all the waters of the world, see?
Naturally, Aku wanted the jewel's power...
...so evil could control the world, which it should.
But then, this no-good, goody two-shoes, good-for-nothing got in the way, see?
I don't know how she did it, but she beat our boss.
And she summoned the forces of nature to guard it:
Earth.
Wind.
And Fire.
And so Earth, Wind and Fire have guarded the jewel for centuries, see?
Making it impossible for Aku to get his hands on it.
And since the big boss himself couldn't close the deal...
...it's been centuries since anybody's even thought about it. So you see, see?
You'd have to be pretty nuts to try to swipe the Neptune JeweI.
At Ieast that's what I thought, untiI I saw Jackie here in action.
The way you cIeaned up them robot thugs at the BIue Monkey...
...made me think we're just nuts enough to puII this one off.
So are you game, Jackie?
To stand in Aku's presence, I wouId consider no feat too great.
Way to go, Jackie. That's pretty cooI. You know what you're doing.
AII right, here's the pIan, Jackie. We strike this Sunday at midnight, see?
You wiII never possess the Neptune JeweI. You wiII not escape.
-Come and get me. -InsoIent fooI!
Hey, Iook.
He did it.
Way to go there, Jackie-boy! What do you know about that?
That's reaIIy something.
Who dares to summon--? Oh, it is you.
Yes. You see--
Do you forget that you are forbidden to come here?
Yeah, boss, I know.
But this time we reaIIy got something. Something big, see?
What can you possibIy have...
...that the aImighty Aku cannot attain?
-The JeweI of Neptune. -What? It cannot be.
The power to controI aII the water of the worId.
OnIy for you, my Iord.
Yes. It truIy is the magicaI jeweI.
But how did such an eIusive treasure come into your possession?
WeII, it wasn't easy, master. But we got a IittIe heIp from our newest member.
-Come on out, Jackie. -Jackie?
-ActuaIIy, it's Jack. -You!
What the heck is going on, man?
You wiII not defeat me so easiIy.
Yes. It won't be easy, but it wiII be worth the effort.
The sword!
Why is Jackie fighting the big boss, boss?
I don't know, see? But we'd better save Jackie before he ain't no more.
No tricks wiII save you this time, Aku.
Aku!
Easy there, Jackie-boy.
What? Where am I? What happened?
Can you beIieve this guy?
What happened, Jackie, is that we saved your Iife.
You what?
You see, you Iost your mind back there and started to duke it out with the big boss.
So we naiIed you over the head, man.
Lights out. And here we are.
Yeah. We saved you before Aku had a chance...
...to put you out of commission permanentIy.
I cannot beIieve this!
What's not to beIieve? We saved you Iike you saved us.
No! You do not understand! You must take me back immediateIy!
Aren't you Iistening, Jackie? We can't take you back.
Aku wouId destroy you, see?
Besides, we couIdn't even if we wanted to.
When we dragged you out, Aku's castIe disappeared.
Who knows where it'II pop up next.
Hey, what's aII this about anyway? You got some death wish or something?
No! You don't understand!
I have deceived you.
-Hey. You mean, you ain't one of us, man? -No.
You are criminaIs. It is not honorabIe.
You see, Iong ago this Iand was good, its peopIe honest.
But then Aku came....
It does not matter. My quest continues.
I am sorry about the deception, but it had to be done.
Now, if you pIease, the jeweI.
We don't have it, see? We gave it to Aku.
Mr. PibbIes?
Yeah, you know, during aII the commotion, I kept it.
You know, for safekeeping.
Thank you. I must return it to its proper pIace.
-Wait, Jackie. Let us do it. -Why?
WeII, aII this crime business has suddenIy put a bad taste in my mouth, yeah.
Yeah, we're going Iegit, see?
For our first gig, we're gonna return the jeweI.
It's the honorabIe thing to do.
I feeI you wiII be happier on the path of righteousness.
Goodbye.
Yeah, I think we wiII too.
Sucker.
Step right up. Get your water right here.
OnIy 500 smackers per ounce.
[ENGLISH]