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♪ MTV ♪
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They gon' check out my crib
on my bus of love, brother.
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Let's rock!
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[Female announcer]
On this episode of Cribs ,
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we're hopping on the tour bus
with NBA All Star Dennis Rodman.
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You can talk about all the guys
that's legendary
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around the world, guess what?
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But there ain't no baller
like this, mother[bleep].
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Dennis Rodman.
Dennis Rod-man!
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Here we go, yes!
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[horn honks twice]
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[Announcer] But first, stand-up
comedian Whitney Cummings
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cancels herself when she
takes a tour over the edge.
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I like my bowls like
I like my condoms--
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with a hole in it.
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Within them.
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You get my drift.
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♪ Yeah ♪
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[theme music]
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♪ Tie me up like I'm surprised ♪
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♪ Let's role play,
I wear a disguise ♪
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♪ I want you to park
that big Mack truck ♪
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♪ Right in this
little garage, honey ♪
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♪ Make it cream,
make me scream ♪
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♪ Out in public, make a scene ♪
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♪ I don't cook, I don't clean ♪
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♪ But let me tell you,
I got this ring ♪
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What are you...
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You guys are early.
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This is MTV Cribs, right?
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[sighs]
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We can start, it's fine.
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I just need to clean up.
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This place is a mess.
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♪ I said certified freak ♪
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♪ Seven days a week ♪
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All right, we'll
just fix it in post.
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Okay, I'll be right out.
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♪ Yeah, you dealin' with some ♪
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Jesus, I didn't realize you
were gonna be here so fast.
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Um, I--
Welcome to my crib, MTV.
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♪ Yeah, I'm a freak,
handcuffs, leashes ♪
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♪ Switch my wig, make 'em
feel like he cheatin' ♪
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♪ Put him on his knees, give
him something to believe in ♪
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♪ Never lost a fight,
but I'm looking for -- ♪
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♪ In the food chain,
I'm the one that -- ♪
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♪ He's a bottom feeder ♪
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♪ -- stand for big demeanor ♪
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♪ I have to make you --
before I ever meet ya ♪
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So this is what
I call Casa Haha.
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This is the house
that jokes built.
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Now I hate myself.
That was...
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♪ Huh ♪
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Anyway, we're working on
the name of the house.
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♪ I do what I want ♪
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♪ I do what I want ♪
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Okay, so this--whoops.
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I swear I live here.
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So this is the
formal living room.
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No one's really
allowed in this room.
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The only evidence that
anyone's ever been in this room
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is the fact that there's
Christmas decorations
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wrapped around these beams.
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I have absolutely no
recollection of hanging them.
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[Santa] Ho, ho, ho!
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[Whitney] I feel like if I
were to get drunk enough again
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to take these down,
I would end up pregnant, and...
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[sighs] we don't
want that, okay?
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When we say "MTV Cribs," we
mean homes, not for babies.
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[baby crying]
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This is my IUD.
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When I'm done with them,
I just hang them in the house.
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♪ Do that thing, do that thing ♪
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♪ Do that thing, do that thing ♪
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This is my--more like
cozy living room area
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that I actually let people
sit on and get near.
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My designer, Jake Arnold, knows
how obsessed with dogs I am.
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This is, like, dog Tinder.
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Swipe right, swipe right.
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How cute!
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♪ Big ball synergy ♪
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So here's the TV.
It's hidden behind here.
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I like to just, like,
have the option--
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[squeak]
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Whoops, sorry,
that was my knee.
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I don't know how to
explain these pots.
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It is where I hide my weed.
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They serve a purpose.
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And I like my bowls
like I like my condoms.
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With a hole in it.
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Within 'em.
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You get my drift.
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♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah, nah-nah, nah ♪
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♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
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This is my kitchen.
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I literally--I'm not
gonna pretend I cook.
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I don't cook.
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I literally told them I want
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the prettiest
countertop of all time.
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There will be no
damage done to it.
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How gorgeous is this?
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Don't you just wanna
have coitus with this...
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♪ Consequences, but I-- ♪
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What is it? Quartzite?
I don't even care.
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I love it so much.
It makes me so happy.
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I collect horse tumblers.
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And this is my Jojo Siwa moment.
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I saw one of Jojo Siwa's
Cribs , and guess what?
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I almost got a--had a seizure.
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There are over 155,000
rhinestones
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on this piano.
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This is the opposite
of Jojo Siwa's house.
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But when we go upstairs,
don't you worry.
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I'll give you a migraine.
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This is my fridge.
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♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
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It's all, like, dips
and, like, pickles.
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You know, just my sex toys.
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[wolf whistle]
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[Whitney] I actually
am obsessed with jams.
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In a jam?
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[chuckles] Get it?
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Beauty items.
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This is, you know, for your--
[record screech]
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Oh, that's not for my face.
That's for...
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You know what that's for.
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I don't even know what's
happening in this freezer.
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I couldn't even tell you.
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Oh, what every normal
person has in their fridge--
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cookies of them!
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So this is the pantry.
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She'll have to walk
you through it because--
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All right.
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Now, you're probably wondering
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what are cosmetics
doing in a pantry.
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Well, you're at
Whitney Cummings' house,
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so this is what happens.
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[Whitney] I'm really
into these gloves.
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And I have a scarcity complex.
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Like, I just worry if I
get obsessed with this--
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and this is the best way to
clean your butt, by the way.
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-I'm telling you--
-Wait, that's for your butthole?
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Yes, you youngins on MTV,
you don't understand.
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This is the best way to
clean all your crevices.
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-Yes, it's these.
-That's deeply exfoliating.
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Do you need to exfoliate
your asshole now?
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Yeah, that's my brand--
deeply exfoliating.
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♪ Go ♪
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♪ I'm a maniac, I'm crazy ♪
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♪ I'm on the edge ♪
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♪ Go crazier ♪
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[like a zombie]
Hey...
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♪ I'ma lose my head,
oh, lose my head ♪
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♪ I'm a maniac ♪
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This I my library.
I'm very proud of my library.
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I love it here.
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I want it to feel vintage
'cause I collect vintage books.
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Like, I just love old books.
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Remember, like, libraries?
I don't, but...
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they seemed cool in movies.
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Oh, anatomical studies
for physicians and surgeons.
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Like, how creepy to,
like, go through here
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and, like, see how little
they knew about anatomy.
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Like, vagina, urethra, femur...
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No clitoris!
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Nope.
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That still has barely
been discovered.
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Yeah, none of these say
"cli-TOR-is."
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Is it "CLI-tor-is"
or "cli-TOR-is"?
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[crickets chirping]
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Nobody knows.
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No one's ever said it aloud
or admitted it exists.
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♪ If you don't wanna see me ♪
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I have been thinking about
this moment my entire life.
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The moment where on
my episode of Cribs ,
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I bring you into the bedroom
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and say what everyone before
me that has done Cribs says,
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which is...
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♪ Don't show up,
don't come out ♪
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♪ Don't start caring
'bout me now ♪
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So this is the bench
where my lovers perch
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whilst waiting for me to decide
if I'm gonna select them or not.
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This is my master bedroom.
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Are we allowed to say that?
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[record screech]
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There's no way we're
allowed to say that!
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Can someone Google if
we can say that?
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Oh, man!
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The main--
The primary bedroom.
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♪ I love you, baby, but
you've got to be cool ♪
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[Whitney] This is my bed.
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This is where I have
my night terrors,
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right here in this bed.
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These curtains, I have dreamed
about this my entire life.
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I wake up in the morning.
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Before I pick up my phone,
before I do anything,
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boom, open these curtains.
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Maybe this is where
the magic does happen.
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Voila !
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♪ Give it to me ♪
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This is the beautiful mountain
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00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:34,821
that I get to wake
up to every morning.
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00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:37,590
And, you know, some people
choose to look at this
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and see the sight of all
the Ted Bundy murders.
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I choose not to see that.
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00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,099
I see a beautiful vista where
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00:07:47,099 --> 00:07:50,136
no murders of any
women ever happened.
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00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:57,310
Can someone get Will Smith to
slap me in the face so I stop...
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00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,812
ruining my career?
[laughs]
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00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:03,149
[Announcer] Coming up,
we let it all hang out
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00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:04,784
as we continue our tour with
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00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:06,485
stand-up comedian
Whitney Cummings.
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00:08:06,485 --> 00:08:08,187
People come.
They try to rock climb.
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00:08:08,187 --> 00:08:09,488
It's actually really hard.
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00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:11,390
You're supposed to
start down here.
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00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:13,726
I feel like I'm gonna pop one of
my best implants if I do this.
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00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:19,232
[upbeat music]
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00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:20,333
Oh, hey there.
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00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,469
This is my closet.
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♪ He's on fire, ow! ♪
221
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:28,775
I really wanted to make sure
everything was, like, hidden
222
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:32,379
so I didn't have to
deal with my demons.
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00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:33,580
These are my fancy T-shirts.
224
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:36,149
This mostly means,
like, band T-shirts.
225
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:39,085
Ah, this is, ah, what I'm
gonna wear on my wedding day.
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00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:41,154
Yeah, now what, Jojo Siwa?
227
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:43,690
You don't think I'd know
how to bedazzle stuff?
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00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,058
We all know how
to bedazzle stuff.
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00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:47,861
We just don't cover
our house in crystals,
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00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:51,064
because some of us get
migraines!
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00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:54,401
We can do one
sparkly shirt a year.
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♪ I feel so untouched ♪
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♪ And I want you so much ♪
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00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,774
This is my bathroom.
235
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:04,411
Here's the bathtub I
used once and flooded it.
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00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:06,713
It is very small.
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00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,648
It really only washes your butt.
238
00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:10,717
You can baby wipe the rest.
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00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,318
This is my sauna.
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00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:14,554
And I actually go
in here every night
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00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:18,591
and stretch and do my Kegels.
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Good for your health, too.
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00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:22,228
♪ Listen, ladies, we don't
need no introduction ♪
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00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,463
♪ Who run the world?
Girls! ♪
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♪ We ain't frontin' ♪
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00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,232
Voila.
247
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:29,335
This is the Good for You
podcast studio.
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00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:30,503
I do cuss a little.
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00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:31,738
-Do you?
-Also, yeah.
250
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:32,939
What's your
favorite curse word?
251
00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:34,174
Probably [bleep].
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00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,443
[laughter]
253
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:37,911
This is Grace.
254
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,145
This is Emily.
255
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:41,047
We thought you were
here this whole time.
256
00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:43,416
This is my robot Bearclaw.
257
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,418
[Bearclaw] Can someone at
least brush my [bleep] hair
258
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,054
and get this stupid
horse off my head?
259
00:09:48,054 --> 00:09:51,191
She makes me looks like
trash because she's jealous.
260
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:53,259
Who's on the poster, bitch?
261
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,594
She's on the poster.
262
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,029
-She is.
-She is.
263
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:58,431
Nope, that's me, I think.
I'm 90 percent sure that's me.
264
00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,766
-It's uncanny.
-Yeah.
265
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,134
♪ Do it how you like it ♪
266
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:03,470
♪ D-D-Do it how you like it ♪
267
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:04,704
[sighs]
268
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,306
You found my favorite
room in the house.
269
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:08,641
I am so obsessed with
horses that I said,
270
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:10,977
can I have my guest
room that's just horses?
271
00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:14,247
And this is my actual
horse on a quilt.
272
00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:18,485
And this is a chair
that's a horse.
273
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:21,321
This is one of my favorite
little pieces of art,
274
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,223
where a horse is eating
a girl, and it says,
275
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:24,591
"He loved her too much."
276
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,092
[powering down sound]
277
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:30,997
And if you come in the bathroom,
it gets even more psychotic.
278
00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:33,700
I have horse--horse fixtures.
279
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:35,001
We don't mess around.
280
00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:36,336
[horse neighs]
281
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,838
Okay, now it's time
for me to show Jojo Siwa
282
00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:41,875
that I have shiny [bleep]
in here too!
283
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:44,110
♪ I'm so caught up ♪
284
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:46,212
♪ I'm losing control ♪
285
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:49,382
♪ This girl's got a hold on me ♪
286
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:52,485
This is my podcast
studio offices.
287
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:55,655
This, to me, I feel like
is, like, the Cribs fridge.
288
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:59,025
This fridge is
always this insane.
289
00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:02,428
We've got all the weird-ass,
like, Martian Poop soda.
290
00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:04,430
We have, like, apple pie soda.
291
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:05,765
Look, I'm white trash--
292
00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:08,701
and I'm allowed to
say that about myself.
293
00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:11,471
♪ Go on and take it off,
take it off ♪
294
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:14,607
♪ You gotta shake it
off, baby, for me ♪
295
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:16,676
Welcome to the wonder emporium.
296
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:21,147
It is my costume
closet of insanity.
297
00:11:21,147 --> 00:11:24,150
When I do standup,
I wear sparkly boots.
298
00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:25,752
All my crazy clothes.
299
00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:27,687
I collect vintage clothes.
300
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:31,391
This really was the thing that
brought me into this room.
301
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:34,727
[Whitney] That is a muumuu
with my actual horse on it.
302
00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:37,397
I just knew at that moment
she truly needed my help.
303
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:38,565
[laughs]
304
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:41,267
♪ Now watch me run this ♪
305
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:42,835
♪ Look at how I run this ♪
306
00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:45,205
This is my outdoor area.
307
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,306
Oh.
308
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:47,574
These are my dogs.
309
00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:50,276
This is, like, the
outdoor screening area,
310
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:52,145
which I do know how to turn on.
311
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:54,013
I'm just gonna let Grace do it.
312
00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:55,481
She won't tell me
where the button is.
313
00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:57,283
Job security.
314
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:59,285
♪ Jump in the water ♪
315
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:01,788
This is, like, the pool area.
It's kind of cool because, like,
316
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:03,156
since we're so deep
in the wilderness,
317
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:06,125
sometimes I'll come out here
at, like, 5 or 6 o'clock
318
00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:09,295
and there'll be, like, a bobcat
drinking out of the pool.
319
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:10,530
There'll be birds.
320
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:13,099
Sometimes I come out,
there's deer here.
321
00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:16,169
Lots of wild animals use
this as their watering hole.
322
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:17,704
I mean, it doesn't
feel sanitary,
323
00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:20,607
and I probably have
to take antibiotics.
324
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:21,674
♪ Bend me over ♪
325
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:23,176
♪ I can do gymnastics ♪
326
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:25,245
This is gonna be,
like, grass and stuff,
327
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:28,982
but for now leads up to
a rock climbing wall.
328
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:31,784
I'm dating someone who's
very into rock climbing.
329
00:12:31,784 --> 00:12:33,953
2,000 rocks in my backyard.
330
00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:35,755
Not on either of my hands.
331
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,690
I'm fine.
332
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:39,259
It's actually really hard.
333
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:42,228
You're supposed to
start down here.
334
00:12:42,228 --> 00:12:44,697
I feel like I'm gonna pop one of
my breast implants if I do this.
335
00:12:46,065 --> 00:12:47,533
I can underhand this?
336
00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:50,336
[Whitney] I can underhand this?
337
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:53,906
I'm sorry, I don't have my
whole life of forearm muscles
338
00:12:53,906 --> 00:12:59,779
from jerking off all day
like rock climbing nerds.
339
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,114
[growls]
340
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,215
♪ Come pick up some ♪
341
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:04,384
♪ Woo ♪
342
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,886
♪ Like the boys,
like the boys ♪
343
00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:08,755
♪ Come pick up some ♪
344
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:10,423
♪ I'm so confident ♪
345
00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:14,427
Thank you so much, MTV Cribs,
for visiting my crib.
346
00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:17,263
Um, yes, I know
what you're thinking.
347
00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:21,334
Big house, one woman,
no children or family!
348
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:22,869
Exactly how I like it.
349
00:13:22,869 --> 00:13:24,637
I love you guys.
Thanks for coming by.
350
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:28,541
But please leave now.
Thank you so much.
351
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:31,144
I need to fart.
352
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,445
♪ I'm so confident ♪
353
00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:36,015
[Announcer] Coming up,
Dennis "The Worm" Rodman,
354
00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:37,617
NBA's most iconic player,
355
00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:40,320
gives us courtside seats
to his rolling RV crib.
356
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,655
[Dennis] Who has a
bus with a ghetto box?
357
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:43,956
I've got a boom box,
you guys!
358
00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:45,024
Come on.
359
00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:46,025
♪ Boom, boom ♪
360
00:13:46,025 --> 00:13:46,993
♪ Wow, wow ♪
361
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:47,894
♪ Boom, boom ♪
362
00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:48,928
[clicks tongue]
363
00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:51,864
[unintelligible]
Who does this!?
364
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:55,235
♪ Six foot, seven foot,
eight foot bunch ♪
365
00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:56,670
♪ I lost my mind ♪
366
00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,405
♪ It's somewhere out
there, stranded ♪
367
00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:01,007
♪ I think you stand under me
if you don't understand me ♪
368
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,743
♪ Had my heart broken by
this woman named Tammy ♪
369
00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:04,978
♪ But -- gon' be -- ♪
370
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:06,813
♪ So I couldn't blame Tammy ♪
371
00:14:08,482 --> 00:14:11,218
Goddamn!
372
00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:13,253
Are we in Fort Lauderdale?
373
00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:14,888
-[Man] Yes.
-Oh my god!
374
00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,223
We're rockin' it, right guys?
375
00:14:16,223 --> 00:14:17,924
Guess what?
We on tour right now, guys,
376
00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:19,292
for the next month and a half.
377
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:21,027
But guess what, dude?
They gon' check out my crib
378
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,997
on my bus of love, brother.
Let's walk!
379
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:26,500
♪ You know I'ma ball 'til they
turn off the field lights ♪
380
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:27,901
♪ The fruits of my labor ♪
381
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,836
♪ I enjoy 'em while
they still ripe ♪
382
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:32,239
♪ Stop playing, I do it
like a king do ♪
383
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:33,773
♪ You don't know
the half of it ♪
384
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:36,843
♪ Young Money, Cash Money ♪
385
00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:38,378
There's nobody in the world--
386
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,779
you can talk about Tom Brady,
387
00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:41,248
you can talk about all
the guys that's legendary
388
00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:42,516
around the world.
Guess what?
389
00:14:42,516 --> 00:14:44,484
But there ain't no baller
like this, mother[bleep].
390
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,520
Dennis Rodman.
Dennis Rod-man.
391
00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:48,121
I'ma go in here,
open my bus, guys.
392
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,523
You can check my crib out.
393
00:14:49,523 --> 00:14:50,891
Once I roll, it rolls.
394
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:53,660
♪ This is the way
we roll, we roll ♪
395
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:57,464
♪ Everybody goin' crazy ♪
396
00:14:58,698 --> 00:14:59,833
Wow, guys!
397
00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:01,101
Really?
398
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,669
It's like The Price Is Right.
[buzzer]
399
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:03,970
Which door
do you wanna open?
400
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:05,405
I'm sayin' this
is right here, guys.
401
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:06,907
Come on, guys!
Here we go.
402
00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:08,008
[applause]
403
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:09,176
Hey, man.
404
00:15:09,176 --> 00:15:11,578
God, ain't that amazing?
I came a long way.
405
00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:14,648
And my good friend here
Stacy, guys.
406
00:15:14,648 --> 00:15:16,449
Meet this girl right here, man.
Meet her, man.
407
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:18,218
-She's, well, wow.
-Hi, guys.
408
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:20,086
I'm already good, man.
This is girl here, Stacy,
409
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:21,721
she's a little...
410
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:24,524
So we come here and
lounge and stuff like that.
411
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:26,159
So I usually sit right here.
412
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:27,761
I might sit over there.
413
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,062
This right--
This picture here, this--
414
00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:30,497
My daughter's right here.
415
00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:32,299
And it's amazing,
that kid right there.
416
00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:33,833
My son's right here.
417
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:36,303
Yes, he's at Washington State,
trying to play basketball
418
00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:38,605
and make an image for himself.
419
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,574
Now, this is my cigars.
420
00:15:40,574 --> 00:15:41,841
♪ Whoa, killed it ♪
421
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:43,610
I smoke almost every day,
pretty much.
422
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,945
And this is my lighter.
423
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:47,080
Don't even try to move.
424
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,082
Can you believe
I carry a flip phone?
425
00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:51,418
Seriously? I mean,
look at this damn thing.
426
00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:53,286
It actually [bleep] works.
427
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,222
I mean, look at this, man.
428
00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:56,323
It does something.
429
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:58,291
Look at that [bleep] light up!
430
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,860
♪ I switch phone
numbers like clothes ♪
431
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,729
This is where we, uh,
break bread, here.
432
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:03,997
It's called breakfast.
433
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:07,234
So over here...
You know what?
434
00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:09,769
I have no clue what the [bleep]
in these goddamn cupboards.
435
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:12,072
Oh my god, Jesus lord.
436
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:13,907
We got bananas.
We got oranges.
437
00:16:13,907 --> 00:16:16,309
We got all the
nourishment of love, yes!
438
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,677
♪ Dontcha know? ♪
439
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,112
[Dennis] And we got,
uh--what do you call it?
440
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:20,580
Not banana, uh...
441
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:21,915
-[Stacy] Coconut water.
-[Dennis] Coconut water, yeah.
442
00:16:21,915 --> 00:16:23,416
-[Stacy] Orange juice.
-[Dennis] Orange juice.
443
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:25,785
-He loves his Caesar salads.
-[Dennis] I sure do, yes.
444
00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:27,854
And, uh, let's move on.
445
00:16:28,622 --> 00:16:29,856
♪ I'm the boss ♪
446
00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:32,559
Can we show you the
best part on the bus?
447
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:34,461
This is her baby, guys.
448
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,196
Oh my god, look at
that, look at that.
449
00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:37,864
Mya Star Rodman.
450
00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:39,032
There you go.
451
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:40,166
You like me?
452
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,201
[buzzer]
453
00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:42,736
This [bleep] dog.
[laughs]
454
00:16:42,736 --> 00:16:43,837
[Stacy] She's smiling.
455
00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:46,840
[dog whimpering]
456
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,108
What you doin' guys?
457
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:49,542
The most important
thing about a tour bus,
458
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:52,112
you gotta have something
that's gonna refresh you
459
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:53,713
and--and lighten
you a little bit
460
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:56,716
that'll keep you always focused.
461
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,451
Let's check out the bathroom.
462
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:02,922
[angelic voices]
463
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:04,157
Every time I take a piss,
464
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:08,061
reminds me how much
I worked in the NBA.
465
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:12,565
I see my picture.
I'll say...huh.
466
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:14,401
This is where I got
all the white towels.
467
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:15,635
Versace.
[ka-ching]
468
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:18,038
♪ I was up late night ballin' ♪
469
00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:20,340
♪ Piling up the hundids
by the thousand ♪
470
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:24,644
This is where my friends
come and decompress.
471
00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:25,912
There's four.
472
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:27,480
We have one here,
one here, one here, one here.
473
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,249
We have another room
over here, man.
474
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:32,018
This is the--the--
You just got to see it, man.
475
00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:33,753
You just got to see it, come on.
476
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,622
♪ Keep all the cars
and the money and the fame ♪
477
00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:38,425
♪ That don't help
me sleep at night ♪
478
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:39,826
This is not even a stage, guys.
479
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:42,262
This is more like if I'm tired,
480
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:45,231
we on a long road trip
or something like that,
481
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:46,433
this is the last
comfortable bed.
482
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:47,901
We got a queen size bed here.
483
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:50,670
The way I sleep, man,
is really, really weird.
484
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:51,571
So I come here.
485
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,206
I just say, hey...
486
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:56,843
And I just actually do
stuff like this.
487
00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:58,044
[laughs]
488
00:17:58,044 --> 00:17:59,412
And I just fall
asleep like this, man.
489
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:02,282
Give me four or five
hours, I'm good to go.
490
00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:06,019
[snores]
491
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,021
Now look over here.
492
00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:10,390
Let's see what's in here.
Seriously.
493
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:12,292
Oh, [bleep].
We got more doors?
494
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,394
I ain't never been in here.
495
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,196
Oh, that's the bathroom.
496
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:17,364
There's a beautiful
bathroom, guys.
497
00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:19,299
You want to check it out?
498
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:20,800
♪ Let's go, let's go ♪
499
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,669
♪ Pump it up to the
next, let's go ♪
500
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,371
This is where I shower,
and man, sometimes man,
501
00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:27,240
I--I want to be alone
and get my emotions together
502
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,641
and stuff like that.
503
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,443
So, it's big enough
for me to be in here.
504
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:33,279
It's big enough that
I can squat down.
505
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:36,883
So if you come in here
like this, you can see
506
00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:41,521
that it's really
almost as small as me.
507
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:43,923
♪ Yeah, I got game, game ♪
508
00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:45,692
Oh, I know this.
509
00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:47,927
This is the jacket I got
at the 75th anniversary.
510
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:50,730
I tried to get
everybody to sign it
511
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,766
to raise money for the homeless.
512
00:18:52,766 --> 00:18:55,869
It's a fact that is says
give back.
513
00:18:55,869 --> 00:18:58,004
Hey guys, remember
this jacket right here?
514
00:18:58,004 --> 00:19:02,642
I got this jacket because I
worked my ass off for this.
515
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,144
One of the top 75 players
516
00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:08,381
to have ever played
a game of basketball.
517
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:11,684
This is a great achievement
for any NBA man.
518
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:13,787
♪ Hey, ho ♪
519
00:19:13,787 --> 00:19:16,256
[Dennis] Who has a
bus with a ghetto box?
520
00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:18,591
I got a boom box,
guys, come on!
521
00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:20,126
I got a damn boom box!
522
00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:21,528
How do you do this [bleep]?
523
00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:22,429
♪ Boom, boom ♪
524
00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:23,296
♪ Wow, wow ♪
525
00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:24,297
♪ Boom, boom ♪
526
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:25,131
[clicks tongue]
527
00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:27,700
[unintelligible]
528
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,536
Who does this?
529
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:32,138
We got the lovely treatments
of love in this bus.
530
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:36,075
Let's go outside and
check out the trailer.
531
00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:37,844
You guys ready?
I'm always ready.
532
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:41,281
♪ Ah, put it on like this ♪
533
00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:42,515
♪ We get along like this ♪
534
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:43,683
[Dennis] Wow.
535
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,485
So look at this [bleep]
right here, man.
536
00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:49,322
I got this, that,
that, that, that.
537
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:50,790
This [bleep] called
money, right?
538
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:52,058
[ka-ching]
539
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:53,393
♪ Hey, do
dirty work like Robin ♪
540
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:54,928
♪ Fendi flip-flops,
I'm stylin' ♪
541
00:19:54,928 --> 00:19:56,496
♪ I'mma come clean 'cause
dirt do me filthy ♪
542
00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:58,531
♪ Only got stronger
'cause it ain't kill me ♪
543
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,700
Thank you, MTV Cribs !
544
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:01,835
Guess what, though?
545
00:20:01,835 --> 00:20:04,237
The next time you're seeing me,
546
00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:06,239
I'll be livin' just
like Donald Trump.
547
00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:08,141
Thank you.
548
00:20:08,141 --> 00:20:09,476
[cheering]
549
00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:11,845
-You're nothing like him.
-Oh, man!
550
00:20:11,845 --> 00:20:12,645
[dog barks]
551
00:20:14,864 --> 00:20:18,635
Iman Shumpert reminds us why
a happy wife is a happy life.
552
00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:21,972
We strive to have
two separate sinks.
553
00:20:21,972 --> 00:20:25,442
But man, both sinks end up
becoming my wife's sinks.
554
00:20:25,442 --> 00:20:27,077
But it works.
555
00:20:27,077 --> 00:20:28,778
Happy wife, happy life.
556
00:20:28,778 --> 00:20:31,281
[Announcer] Then,
we get meta...physical
557
00:20:31,281 --> 00:20:33,850
with MTV royalty
Heidi and Spencer
558
00:20:33,850 --> 00:20:36,119
at their crystalized
Palisades crib.
559
00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:38,054
[Heidi] This is a
white elephant for healing.
560
00:20:38,054 --> 00:20:40,991
This is a big Xanax
of crystals right here.
561
00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:43,360
Whoo, feels good.
562
00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:46,162
[Announcer] And then,
dog's best friend Cesar Milan
563
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:48,698
shows us around
his animal kingdom.
564
00:20:48,698 --> 00:20:50,400
This guy is, without a doubt,
565
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:54,070
the most elegant, handsome
of the whole crowd.
566
00:20:54,070 --> 00:20:55,538
Let's say hi to MTV.
567
00:20:57,107 --> 00:20:58,074
Look at that guy.
568
00:20:58,074 --> 00:20:59,109
[hums]