1 00:00:01,212 --> 00:00:03,502 JEREMY TAYLOR ALREADY HAS A GIRLFRIEND. 2 00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:06,304 NO, HE DOESN'T. THEY'RE JUST FRIENDS. 3 00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:08,427 UNH-UNH. LISA BENNETT IS HIS GIRLFRIEND. 4 00:00:08,429 --> 00:00:10,469 PLEASE, SHE'S ALL USED UP. 5 00:00:10,471 --> 00:00:12,091 Junior: THAT'S NOT WHAT I HEARD. 6 00:00:12,093 --> 00:00:13,223 [ SINGING ] 7 00:00:13,224 --> 00:00:14,564 WELL, YOU HEARD WRONG. 8 00:00:14,555 --> 00:00:15,555 LISA'S BEEN OUT WITH EVERYBODY. 9 00:00:15,556 --> 00:00:16,936 I HAVEN'T BEEN OUT WITH HER. 10 00:00:16,937 --> 00:00:19,187 EVEN LISA BENNETT HAS STANDARDS. 11 00:00:19,190 --> 00:00:20,850 LOSER. OH, REALLY? 12 00:00:20,851 --> 00:00:22,441 OH, YEAH, REALLY. 13 00:00:22,443 --> 00:00:25,823 YOU'RE THE LOSER. YOU'RE THE LOSER. 14 00:00:25,816 --> 00:00:27,026 WELL, AT LEAST I HAVE A "B" CUP. 15 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,777 BIG TALK COMING FROM A GUY 16 00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:30,529 WHO HAS A PEACH-FUZZ MUSTACHE. 17 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:33,151 EVEN GRANDMA HAS MORE OF A MUSTACHE THAN YOU. 18 00:00:33,154 --> 00:00:34,834 YOU WANT TO FIGHT? BRING IT ON. 19 00:00:34,825 --> 00:00:37,615 OW! 20 00:00:37,618 --> 00:00:40,328 HEY, HEY, HEY! SIT DOWN NOW! 21 00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:42,211 MICHAEL, WHAT'S HAPPENING OVER HERE? 22 00:00:42,213 --> 00:00:48,303 NO, KADY, BABY, NO, NO, NO, NO! 23 00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:49,339 MICHAEL, HELLO? 24 00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:51,930 DID YOU NOT SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON HERE? 25 00:00:51,932 --> 00:00:55,442 YEAH, THE KIDS ARE PLAYING, AND SO ARE THE KNICKS. 26 00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:06,605 Man on TV: THE KNICKS AND THE LAKERS 27 00:01:06,607 --> 00:01:08,607 FROM THE INFAMOUS HOUSE OF BASKETBALL -- 28 00:01:08,609 --> 00:01:10,189 MADISON SQUARE GARDENS HERE IN MANHATTAN. 29 00:01:10,191 --> 00:01:14,071 MICHAEL, YOU KNOW I HATE IT WHEN YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME. 30 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,164 HUH? 31 00:01:16,157 --> 00:01:19,117 HONEY, WE WORK ALL WEEK LONG. SATURDAY IS FAMILY DAY. 32 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:23,330 I KNOW, BUT I WANT TO SPEND IT WITH MY NBA FAMILY. 33 00:01:23,334 --> 00:01:25,594 LOOK, THERE GOES COUSIN SHAQ. 34 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:29,416 I REMEMBER WHEN HE WAS LITTLE, AND HE WAS THAT BIG. 35 00:01:29,420 --> 00:01:32,590 HE USED TO LOVE TO WATCH HIS MOTHER JUMP UP 36 00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,223 AND SPANK HIS BEHIND. 37 00:01:34,215 --> 00:01:37,015 HEY, YOU! 38 00:01:37,017 --> 00:01:39,637 UNH-UNH, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO IGNORE ME. 39 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:42,680 I AM NOT GOING AWAY. 40 00:01:42,683 --> 00:01:45,613 THEN WHY DON'T YOU PLUG THE CABLE IN YOUR EAR, 41 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,356 AND I'LL WATCH IT ON YOUR BEHIND? 42 00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:51,569 EVEN PATRICK EWING WOULD BE CUTE ON THAT SCREEN. 43 00:01:51,572 --> 00:01:54,072 FINE, MICHAEL, IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU WANT IT. 44 00:01:54,074 --> 00:01:56,204 SIT HERE ALL DAY IGNORING YOUR FAMILY 45 00:01:56,197 --> 00:01:57,657 WHILE YOUR CHILDREN RUN AMOK, 46 00:01:57,658 --> 00:01:59,908 AND YOUR WIFE GROWS MORE AND MORE FRIGID. 47 00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:01,910 ENJOY YOUR GAME. 48 00:02:01,912 --> 00:02:03,542 OKAY. 49 00:02:08,088 --> 00:02:09,798 I HATE THAT GUILT. 50 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:13,550 GO AHEAD, WIMP BOY. 51 00:02:13,554 --> 00:02:16,184 GO AHEAD, KEEP THE PEACE, WIMP BOY. 52 00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:18,757 [ Effeminate voice ] YES, COMING, DEAR! 53 00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:24,402 WHOOPS! 54 00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:27,265 JAY. [ Chuckles ] 55 00:02:27,268 --> 00:02:30,318 HEY, LISTEN. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 56 00:02:30,321 --> 00:02:31,691 I HEARD YOU IN THERE. 57 00:02:31,692 --> 00:02:33,732 NO, YOU DIDN'T. 58 00:02:33,734 --> 00:02:36,164 NO, I DIDN'T, BUT I'VE COME IN HERE 59 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:39,736 TO HUMBLE MYSELF, HOPING THAT MY SWEET WIFE 60 00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:42,280 WILL LET ME WATCH THE GAME. 61 00:02:42,283 --> 00:02:45,883 PLEASE. IT'S THE ONLY DAY I GET A CHANCE TO BE A GUY. 62 00:02:45,876 --> 00:02:50,376 I WANT TO SIT AND SCRATCH THE BALLS OF MY FEET. 63 00:02:50,381 --> 00:02:52,341 MICHAEL, YOU KNOW WHAT? 64 00:02:52,343 --> 00:02:55,013 SERIOUSLY, LATELY I FEEL LIKE EVERY TIME I TRY 65 00:02:55,005 --> 00:02:57,175 TO TALK TO YOU, YOU TUNE ME OUT. 66 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,507 I MIGHT AS WELL BE SPEAKING CHINESE. 67 00:02:59,510 --> 00:03:03,260 I FEEL THE SAME WAY, LUCY LIU. 68 00:03:03,264 --> 00:03:07,944 WHY IS IT THAT EVERY TIME I SIT DOWN TO RELAX, 69 00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:10,978 YOU FEEL THAT'S A SIGNAL TO GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO? 70 00:03:10,981 --> 00:03:13,271 'CAUSE THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING TO DO IN THIS HOUSE. 71 00:03:13,274 --> 00:03:15,784 ALL RIGHT, THEN, WRAP SOME OLD TOWELS 72 00:03:15,776 --> 00:03:17,776 AROUND MY FEET, AND I'LL SIT THERE, 73 00:03:17,778 --> 00:03:20,868 AND I'LL POLISH THE FURNITURE WHILE I WATCH THE GAME. 74 00:03:20,871 --> 00:03:22,581 LOOK HOW FAR I CAN REACH. 75 00:03:22,583 --> 00:03:24,203 I'M NOT PLAYING WITH YOU, MICHAEL. 76 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,214 THIS IS THE WEEKEND. THIS IS THE ONLY TIME 77 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,376 WE CAN DO SOMETHING TOGETHER AS A FAMILY. 78 00:03:28,379 --> 00:03:30,749 WELL, I HOPE THE FAMILY LIKES BASKETBALL, 79 00:03:30,751 --> 00:03:33,381 BECAUSE I'M GOING TO LET MY HAIR DOWN 80 00:03:33,384 --> 00:03:37,394 AND WATCH THE GAME. 81 00:03:37,388 --> 00:03:42,258 FINE. FINE, FINE. YOU WATCH YOUR STUPID BASKETBALL GAME 82 00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:45,313 WHILE I RAISE THE CHILDREN THAT WE HAD TOGETHER 83 00:03:45,306 --> 00:03:46,766 ALL BY MYSELF. 84 00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:49,267 OH, COME ON, JAY, THE KIDS ARE NOT GOING TO GROW UP 85 00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:51,650 THAT MUCH BETWEEN NOW AND 4:00. 86 00:03:51,652 --> 00:03:53,402 UGH! 87 00:03:53,404 --> 00:03:55,414 WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO PROMOTE SOMETHING 88 00:03:55,406 --> 00:03:56,736 THAT NOBODY ELSE WANTS? 89 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,197 BECAUSE I WANT IT. 90 00:03:58,198 --> 00:04:00,908 OKAY, YOU WANT FAMILY TIME? FINE. 91 00:04:00,911 --> 00:04:04,121 HEY, KIDS, Y'ALL COME ON IN HERE. 92 00:04:04,124 --> 00:04:05,874 WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? 93 00:04:05,866 --> 00:04:09,286 NOTHING, WE'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE FAMILY TIME. 94 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:10,580 WHAT'S UP, DAD? 95 00:04:10,581 --> 00:04:14,381 AND I HOPE THIS IS GOOD -- I JUST REACHED LEVEL 5. 96 00:04:14,375 --> 00:04:16,375 I'M HAPPY TO HEAR THAT, SON, 97 00:04:16,377 --> 00:04:19,377 BUT YOUR MOM FEELS A SUDDEN NEED TO BOND. 98 00:04:19,380 --> 00:04:21,430 I WAS GLITTERING MY NAILS. 99 00:04:21,432 --> 00:04:23,932 OH, SIT DOWN. THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT. 100 00:04:23,934 --> 00:04:25,734 WHAT WERE YOU DOING, KADY? 101 00:04:25,726 --> 00:04:28,436 POOPING. 102 00:04:36,156 --> 00:04:39,946 YOU CLENCH THAT THOUGHT. 103 00:04:39,950 --> 00:04:42,280 'CAUSE I GOT SOME GREAT NEWS. 104 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:45,122 WE'RE GOING TO HAVE FAMILY TIME! 105 00:04:45,115 --> 00:04:46,615 EW. 106 00:04:46,617 --> 00:04:48,407 HUH? 107 00:04:48,409 --> 00:04:52,499 LOOK, I KNOW WE HAVE A 4,500 SQUARE FOOT HOME, 108 00:04:52,503 --> 00:04:54,473 BUT YOUR MOM IS HAPPY 109 00:04:54,465 --> 00:04:57,175 WHEN WE'RE WITHIN INCHES OF EACH OTHER. 110 00:04:57,177 --> 00:05:00,717 SO, COME ON EVERYBODY, COME CLOSE. COME CLOSE. 111 00:05:00,721 --> 00:05:03,301 IT'S FAMILY TIME. 112 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,353 ♪ WE ARE FAMILY ♪ 113 00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:09,306 ♪ CAUSE MAMA WON'T LET ME SEE TV ♪ 114 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,309 MICHAEL! 115 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:13,060 WHAT? IT'S PART OF THE FAMILY TIME. 116 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:15,613 IT'S FAMILY BANTER. A LITTLE JOKING. 117 00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:21,316 OKAY, SO, SON, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT PLANNED FOR TODAY? 118 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:24,501 FIVE MINUTES AGO, I WAS UPSTAIRS IN MY ROOM 119 00:05:24,495 --> 00:05:26,115 ENJOYING MYSELF. 120 00:05:26,116 --> 00:05:29,616 BUT NOW I'M BACK DOWNSTAIRS, STARING AT MY SISTER 121 00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:31,750 WHO, BY THE WAY, I REALLY HATE. 122 00:05:31,752 --> 00:05:33,372 RIGHT BACK AT YOU. 123 00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:37,054 WELL, WE'RE OFF TO A GREAT START HERE. 124 00:05:37,047 --> 00:05:40,717 THEY'RE GOING TO A BOWLING PARTY. 125 00:05:40,721 --> 00:05:42,171 OH, CLAIRE'S GOING BOWLING? 126 00:05:42,172 --> 00:05:44,302 THAT'S RIGHT. 127 00:05:44,304 --> 00:05:46,394 MY BLACK AMERICAN PRINCESS GOING BOWLING? 128 00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:50,427 HEAVY LIFTING, STINKY SHOES? THAT'S NOT YOUR THING. 129 00:05:50,431 --> 00:05:52,101 JEREMY TAYLOR'S HER THING. 130 00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,852 WHO IS JEREMY TAYLOR? 131 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,404 THE DORK SHE'S IN LOVE WITH. 132 00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,526 HE'S NOT A DORK. IS TOO. 133 00:05:57,528 --> 00:05:59,528 IS TOO. IS NOT. 134 00:05:59,530 --> 00:06:01,400 WELL, BABY, IF JUNIOR SAYS HE'S A DORK, 135 00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:03,032 THEN I GOT TO BELIEVE HIM, 136 00:06:03,033 --> 00:06:05,543 BECAUSE HE'S AN EXPERT IN THAT DEPARTMENT. 137 00:06:05,536 --> 00:06:09,696 HA HA HA HA! 138 00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:11,370 THIS IS FUN. WATCH THIS. 139 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:14,251 ♪ JEREMY AND CLAIRE SITTING IN A TREE ♪ 140 00:06:14,254 --> 00:06:15,554 HELP ME OUT, KADY. 141 00:06:15,546 --> 00:06:19,376 ♪ K-I-S-S-L-M-N-O-P ♪ 142 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,589 [ Sing-song voice ] CLAIRE'S IN LOVE. 143 00:06:21,592 --> 00:06:23,762 OKAY, THAT'S IT. I'M TOO MATURE FOR THIS. 144 00:06:23,764 --> 00:06:25,604 I'M OUT OF HERE. 145 00:06:25,596 --> 00:06:28,346 Junior: CLAIRE'S IN LOVE. 146 00:06:28,348 --> 00:06:29,508 JUNIOR! 147 00:06:29,510 --> 00:06:32,770 MICHAEL, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? 148 00:06:32,773 --> 00:06:37,023 NOT QUITE. THERE'S STILL A LITTLE MORE FAMILY AROUND. 149 00:06:37,017 --> 00:06:40,607 HEY, KADY, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TODAY? 150 00:06:40,611 --> 00:06:42,941 FLUSH. 151 00:06:42,943 --> 00:06:45,953 AFTER YOU FLUSH, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? 152 00:06:45,946 --> 00:06:49,026 I WANT TO WATCH "POWERPUFF GIRLS" IN THERE. 153 00:06:49,029 --> 00:06:51,369 IN THERE, ON THAT TELEVISION? 154 00:06:51,371 --> 00:06:52,411 WELL, YOU CAN'T. 155 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,912 WHY? 156 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:57,674 BECAUSE THE "POWERPUFF GIRLS" ARE AT HOME 157 00:06:57,668 --> 00:07:00,498 WATCHING THE BASKETBALL GAME. 158 00:07:00,501 --> 00:07:03,461 THEN WHAT AM I GOING TO DO, DADDY? 159 00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:07,224 HMM, WHY DON'T YOU GO OUTSIDE AND SPIN AROUND REAL FAST 160 00:07:07,217 --> 00:07:09,547 IN THE BACKYARD TILL YOU FALL DOWN? 161 00:07:09,550 --> 00:07:10,680 YEAH! 162 00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:13,511 YAY! 163 00:07:13,514 --> 00:07:17,654 WELL, I BELIEVE MY WORK HERE IS DONE. 164 00:07:17,648 --> 00:07:21,518 FAMILY TIME -- IT'S FANTASTIC. 165 00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:32,281 MICHAEL? 166 00:07:32,282 --> 00:07:33,412 HMM? 167 00:07:33,413 --> 00:07:34,963 MICHAEL? 168 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,335 WHAT? I TRIED TO COMMUNICATE, 169 00:07:36,336 --> 00:07:38,786 BUT THE KIDS HAVE GOT THEIR OWN STUFF GOING ON. 170 00:07:38,789 --> 00:07:40,499 THAT'S FINE, MICHAEL. I SURRENDER. 171 00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:41,541 I'M THROUGH ARGUING. 172 00:07:41,542 --> 00:07:42,792 MM-HMM. 173 00:07:42,793 --> 00:07:44,293 I JUST WANT YOU TO DO ME ONE FAVOR. 174 00:07:44,294 --> 00:07:46,014 SURE, BABE. 175 00:07:46,006 --> 00:07:47,966 [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] 176 00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:56,686 RIGHT, LET'S GO, LET'S GO! 177 00:08:06,156 --> 00:08:07,566 ARE YOU OKAY WITH THAT? 178 00:08:07,568 --> 00:08:08,698 THAT'S GREAT. 179 00:08:08,699 --> 00:08:10,739 JUST GREAT, HONEY! 180 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:13,371 I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. 181 00:08:13,373 --> 00:08:15,503 THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN! 182 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,575 WHOO! 183 00:08:16,577 --> 00:08:19,417 WHOO! 184 00:08:22,883 --> 00:08:26,343 WHAT THE HELL DID SHE JUST SAY? 185 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,354 HEY, SON. 186 00:08:35,345 --> 00:08:37,595 WHATEVER IT IS, I DIDN'T DO IT. 187 00:08:37,598 --> 00:08:40,348 OH, YOU DIDN'T LOSE A $100 BILL? OKAY. 188 00:08:40,350 --> 00:08:42,900 I'LL PUT IT BACK. 189 00:08:42,903 --> 00:08:44,573 SO, HOW'S SCHOOL? 190 00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,695 WHY ARE YOU HERE, DAD? 191 00:08:46,697 --> 00:08:49,647 YOU DIDN'T HAPPEN TO HEAR WHAT YOUR MOTHER SAID 192 00:08:49,650 --> 00:08:52,570 THAT SHE AND I ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING LATER ON? 193 00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:54,623 NO, THE LAST THING I HEARD HER SAY WAS, 194 00:08:54,615 --> 00:08:56,365 "JUNIOR, TURN OFF THOSE 'POWER RANGERS' 195 00:08:56,366 --> 00:08:57,576 AND GO TO BED." 196 00:08:57,578 --> 00:08:58,958 HOW LONG AGO WAS THAT? 197 00:08:58,959 --> 00:09:00,789 ABOUT FIVE YEARS AGO. 198 00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:04,041 ALL RIGHT, THANKS. 199 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,884 OH, NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, 200 00:09:05,876 --> 00:09:07,926 I DO REMEMBER HER SAYING SOMETHING 201 00:09:07,928 --> 00:09:09,628 ABOUT CLEANING THE BASEMENT. 202 00:09:09,630 --> 00:09:11,130 CLEANING THE BASEMENT. ARE YOU SURE? 203 00:09:11,131 --> 00:09:13,171 NOT REAL SURE ABOUT ANYTHING, DAD. 204 00:09:13,173 --> 00:09:17,603 AS YOU WERE. 205 00:09:17,598 --> 00:09:21,678 OH, JEREMY, STOP IT. I'M NOT THAT CUTE. 206 00:09:21,682 --> 00:09:25,072 HA HA HA! SERIOUSLY? OH, THANKS. HA HA! 207 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,945 HEY, CAN I COME IN? 208 00:09:26,947 --> 00:09:28,447 SURE. 209 00:09:28,448 --> 00:09:30,818 WOW, THAT'S A GREAT SWEATER YOU GOT ON. 210 00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:33,401 YOU KNOW, YOUR MOM HAS ONE JUST LIKE THIS. 211 00:09:33,403 --> 00:09:34,963 NOT ANYMORE. 212 00:09:34,955 --> 00:09:37,955 YOU'RE GOING TO WEAR THAT TO THE BOWLING PARTY? 213 00:09:37,958 --> 00:09:39,328 WHY, DO YOU HATE IT? 214 00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:40,909 NO, I THINK IT LOOKS GREAT. 215 00:09:40,911 --> 00:09:43,461 PERFECT, NOW I GOT TO GO CHANGE. 216 00:09:46,416 --> 00:09:50,206 HA HA HA HA! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS 217 00:09:50,210 --> 00:09:54,890 WHAT YOUR MOTHER WANTS TO DO WITH ME LATER. 218 00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:56,175 I DON'T KNOW, WHAT? 219 00:09:56,176 --> 00:09:57,516 GO AHEAD, GUESS. 220 00:09:57,517 --> 00:09:58,977 BUT YOU JUST SAID I NEVER WOULD. 221 00:09:58,979 --> 00:10:00,479 I WANT YOU TO TRY AND GUESS. 222 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:03,390 WHAT'S THE POINT IN TRYING -- JUST GUESS. 223 00:10:03,393 --> 00:10:06,943 YOU WEREN'T LISTENING TO HER, WERE YOU? 224 00:10:06,937 --> 00:10:09,317 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YEAH, I WAS LISTENING. 225 00:10:09,319 --> 00:10:11,149 WERE YOU? 226 00:10:11,151 --> 00:10:12,321 OOH, I'M TELLING MOM 227 00:10:12,322 --> 00:10:14,282 THAT YOU WERE NOT LISTENING TO HER -- 228 00:10:14,284 --> 00:10:15,374 SHH. 229 00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:17,445 RIGHT AFTER SHE JUST FINISHED TELLING YOU, 230 00:10:17,447 --> 00:10:20,577 "MICHAEL, YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME." 231 00:10:22,452 --> 00:10:26,962 OKAY, LET'S SAY I WASN'T LISTENING. 232 00:10:26,957 --> 00:10:28,337 OOH, I'M TELLING! 233 00:10:28,338 --> 00:10:31,298 SHH! 234 00:10:31,301 --> 00:10:32,961 OKAY, IF YOU -- 235 00:10:32,963 --> 00:10:36,853 OOH! 236 00:10:36,847 --> 00:10:38,557 OOH! 237 00:10:38,558 --> 00:10:40,388 OOH! 238 00:10:43,523 --> 00:10:45,403 LOOK, I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY. 239 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:48,225 SO CAN I. 240 00:10:48,228 --> 00:10:51,358 YEAH? 241 00:10:53,193 --> 00:10:56,873 DADDY? DAD! 242 00:10:56,867 --> 00:10:58,367 DADDY! 243 00:11:02,873 --> 00:11:05,593 OKAY, WE CAN DO THIS THE HARD WAY 244 00:11:05,585 --> 00:11:06,875 OR THE EASY WAY. WHAT'S IT GOING TO BE? 245 00:11:06,877 --> 00:11:09,247 I DON'T KNOW NOTHING. 246 00:11:09,249 --> 00:11:11,289 YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU DON'T KNOW 247 00:11:11,291 --> 00:11:14,091 WHAT YOUR MOMMY TOLD YOUR DADDY TO DO? 248 00:11:14,094 --> 00:11:17,264 THAT'S MY STORY, AND I'M STICKING TO IT. 249 00:11:17,257 --> 00:11:20,257 IF I HAVE TO, I'LL TICKLE IT OUT OF YOU. 250 00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:22,760 IF I HAVE TO, I'LL CALL MY LAWYER. 251 00:11:22,763 --> 00:11:26,113 AND WHO'S YOUR LAWYER? 252 00:11:26,106 --> 00:11:28,356 MOMMY. 253 00:11:28,358 --> 00:11:32,068 ALL RIGHT, KNUCKLES. LET'S MAKE A DEAL. 254 00:11:32,072 --> 00:11:34,022 YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING, ANYTHING, 255 00:11:34,024 --> 00:11:36,164 AND THE NEXT TIME YOU PEE THE BED, 256 00:11:36,156 --> 00:11:37,446 I'LL TELL MOMMY I DID IT. 257 00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:39,407 DEAL. 258 00:11:39,409 --> 00:11:42,659 MM-KAY, WHAT YOU GOT FOR ME? 259 00:11:44,494 --> 00:11:47,294 BOOM, BOOM, BOOM. 260 00:11:47,287 --> 00:11:51,167 "BOOM, BOOM, BOOM" -- I'M LISTENING. KEEP TALKING. 261 00:11:51,171 --> 00:11:55,051 MOMMY'S CAR GOES, "BOOM, BOOM, BOOM." 262 00:11:55,045 --> 00:11:57,385 THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING. 263 00:11:57,387 --> 00:12:00,047 "BOOM, BOOM." THAT'S IT -- 264 00:12:00,050 --> 00:12:03,140 SHE WANTS ME TO GET HER CAR SERVICED. 265 00:12:03,143 --> 00:12:07,353 OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU. YOU ARE SUCH A LITTLE -- 266 00:12:07,347 --> 00:12:10,477 AW, THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO SEE. 267 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,480 YEP, JUST SPENDING SOME NON-NBA QUALITY TIME 268 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,953 WITH ONE OF MY FAVORITE GIRLS. 269 00:12:15,946 --> 00:12:18,236 YEAH, I CAN SEE THAT. 270 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,568 AND SPEAKING OF ONE OF MY FAVORITE GIRLS, 271 00:12:20,570 --> 00:12:23,450 I'M ABOUT TO HEAD OUT AND TAKE YOUR CAR TO THE SHOP, 272 00:12:23,453 --> 00:12:25,003 GET IT TUNED UP. 273 00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:27,455 GET THE WHEELS ALIGNED, AND, YOU KNOW, OIL CHANGE, 274 00:12:27,457 --> 00:12:29,577 GET RID OF THAT "BOOM, BOOM, BOOM." 275 00:12:29,579 --> 00:12:32,539 BABY, YOU'D DO THAT FOR ME? THAT IS SO SWEET! 276 00:12:32,542 --> 00:12:35,592 I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TAKE THAT THING IN FOREVER. 277 00:12:35,585 --> 00:12:37,585 AND I'VE BEEN SO BUSY, 278 00:12:37,587 --> 00:12:39,717 AND I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU TO DO IT, BUT -- 279 00:12:39,719 --> 00:12:41,299 YOU DIDN'T ASK ME TO DO IT? 280 00:12:41,301 --> 00:12:42,471 NO. 281 00:12:42,472 --> 00:12:44,512 WELL, I GUESS I'LL TAKE THE KIDS 282 00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,524 TO THE BOWLING PARTY. 283 00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:48,516 THAT WOULD BE GREAT, TOO. 284 00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:50,978 I'LL CALL UP JEREMY'S MOM AND TELL HER 285 00:12:50,981 --> 00:12:52,981 SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO TAKE THEM. 286 00:12:52,983 --> 00:12:54,563 OH, SO I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO TAKE THEM. 287 00:12:54,564 --> 00:12:58,454 SO, I GUESS I'LL JUST PICK THEM UP? 288 00:12:58,448 --> 00:13:01,528 SWEETIE, WHAT DID YOU DO, DID YOU TAKE SOME KIND 289 00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,861 OF GOOD HUSBAND PILL TODAY OR SOMETHING? 290 00:13:03,864 --> 00:13:07,464 WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GOING TO DO FOR ME? 291 00:13:07,457 --> 00:13:09,457 CLEAN THE BASEMENT? 292 00:13:09,459 --> 00:13:12,829 I GAVE UP TRYING TO GET JUNIOR TO DO THAT 293 00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:14,503 FIVE YEARS AGO. 294 00:13:14,504 --> 00:13:17,014 BABY, YOU ARE THE BEST GUY IN THE WHOLE WORLD. 295 00:13:17,007 --> 00:13:18,917 I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO TONIGHT. 296 00:13:18,919 --> 00:13:21,379 HEY, UM, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO WEAR TONIGHT 297 00:13:21,381 --> 00:13:23,301 FOR THIS THING WE'RE GOING TO DO? 298 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,803 OH, WELL, THAT'S A SURPRISE, 299 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,314 BUT, UH, I PROMISE YOU YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT. 300 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,517 YOU JUST DO YOUR PART. 301 00:13:28,518 --> 00:13:31,478 OH, YEAH, I'LL DO MY PART. 302 00:13:35,485 --> 00:13:37,775 I'M DEAD. 303 00:13:37,777 --> 00:13:39,897 THAT'S A FACT, JACK. 304 00:13:48,538 --> 00:13:52,288 NO, HE DIDN'T. HE DID? NO, HE DIDN'T! 305 00:13:52,292 --> 00:13:54,662 GIRL, NOW YOU KNOW MEN DON'T LISTEN. 306 00:13:54,664 --> 00:13:56,464 THEY'RE ALL THE SAME. 307 00:13:56,456 --> 00:13:58,506 OH, GRETCHEN, GRETCHEN, 308 00:13:58,508 --> 00:14:00,878 NOW, YOU KNOW IT'S ALL ABOUT COMMUNICATION. 309 00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,631 GIRL, DON'T SLASH HIS TIRES. 310 00:14:02,632 --> 00:14:04,132 I'M NOT BAILING YOU OUT AGAIN. 311 00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:06,684 YEAH, GIRL, LOOK, JUST TELL ME EVERYTHING. 312 00:14:06,676 --> 00:14:09,806 YOU GOT ME ALL RILED UP. GIVE ME DETAILS. 313 00:14:09,809 --> 00:14:12,099 JAY, CAN I TALK TO YOU? 314 00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:14,852 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 315 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:18,244 [ SPEAKING CHINESE ] 316 00:14:33,833 --> 00:14:38,003 WHAT?WHAT? 317 00:14:37,998 --> 00:14:39,208 YEAH. 318 00:14:39,209 --> 00:14:40,759 CAN YOU DO THAT FOR ME? 319 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:42,760 YEAH, SURE, I'D LOVE TO. YEAH. 320 00:14:42,762 --> 00:14:45,142 OKAY. HEY, I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS. 321 00:14:45,135 --> 00:14:46,805 YEAH, ME, TOO. ME, TOO. 322 00:14:46,806 --> 00:14:49,056 YEAH, YEAH, GIRL. 323 00:14:49,059 --> 00:14:54,639 OH, UH, GRETCHEN, LET ME CALL YOU BACK. 324 00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:59,404 HOLD ON, DID YOU HAPPEN TO HEAR ANY OF -- NEVER MIND. 325 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,399 WHAT DID HE SAY? 326 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:09,657 HEY, BABY. 327 00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:11,739 HEY, WHAT YOU BEEN UP TO? 328 00:15:11,741 --> 00:15:13,621 I'VE BEEN SLAVING OVER A STOVE 329 00:15:13,623 --> 00:15:16,303 MAKING THAT PEACH COBBLER THAT YOU LIKE. 330 00:15:16,296 --> 00:15:17,796 OOH. 331 00:15:17,797 --> 00:15:21,337 WOW, WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THAT? 332 00:15:21,341 --> 00:15:23,671 YOU DON'T WANT IT? 333 00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:26,933 NO, I WANT PEACH COBBLER, BUT...WHOO, MAN, 334 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,136 WHAT A DAY. 335 00:15:28,138 --> 00:15:30,218 FIRST BASKETBALL, THEN PEACH COBBLER. 336 00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:32,390 THAT'S MY SECOND AND THIRD MOST FAVORITE THING 337 00:15:32,392 --> 00:15:33,602 IN THE WORLD. 338 00:15:33,603 --> 00:15:39,233 OH, THEN WHY DON'T YOU COME ON UPSTAIRS 339 00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:41,819 AND I'LL GIVE YOU THE NUMBER ONE THING 340 00:15:41,821 --> 00:15:42,861 ON YOUR LIST? 341 00:15:42,862 --> 00:15:47,242 YOU GOT HALLE BERRY UPSTAIRS? 342 00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:49,777 HALLE BERRY AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON ME, 343 00:15:49,779 --> 00:15:52,699 AND IN FIVE MINUTES, NEITHER WILL I. 344 00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:53,832 WOW. 345 00:15:53,833 --> 00:15:57,963 NOTHING. I SAID NOTHING. 346 00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,537 COME ON, TIGER. 347 00:16:05,845 --> 00:16:10,045 SO, DID I DO THAT THING FOR YOU? 348 00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:12,680 YEAH, TWICE. YOU KNOW, MY EYES ROLLED BACK 349 00:16:12,682 --> 00:16:15,152 SO FAR IN MY HEAD I THOUGHT I WAS BLIND? 350 00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:21,728 THANK GOD. 351 00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,691 YOU KNOW WHAT? WHAT? 352 00:16:23,693 --> 00:16:25,613 I HOPE I HAVE ENERGY LEFT FOR LATER ON 353 00:16:25,605 --> 00:16:28,865 WHEN WE DO THAT THING WE WERE GOING TO DO. REMEMBER? 354 00:16:28,868 --> 00:16:32,028 REMEMBER? HOW CAN I FORGET? 355 00:16:36,706 --> 00:16:38,456 DID YOUR EYES ROLL BACK? 356 00:16:38,458 --> 00:16:39,788 YEAH. OHH. 357 00:16:46,796 --> 00:16:48,046 YOU KNOW WHAT, JUNIOR? 358 00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:50,388 I'M GOING TO COME BACK IN ANOTHER LIFE, 359 00:16:50,390 --> 00:16:51,550 AND I'LL HATE YOU THEN. 360 00:16:51,551 --> 00:16:53,131 HEY, WHAT'S ALL THIS HATE? 361 00:16:53,133 --> 00:16:55,733 THIS STUPID JERK PLAYED A PRACTICAL JOKE ON ME. 362 00:16:55,725 --> 00:16:58,975 I WAS THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE WHOLE BOWLING ALLEY, 363 00:16:58,978 --> 00:17:01,478 AND NOW JEREMY TAYLOR THINKS I'M A FREAK. 364 00:17:01,481 --> 00:17:03,021 WELL, WHAT DID YOU DO? 365 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,312 REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE TELLING ME 366 00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:05,744 HOW YOU PLAYED A JOKE ON COUSIN FREDDIE 367 00:17:05,735 --> 00:17:06,945 WHEN YOU WERE KIDS? 368 00:17:06,946 --> 00:17:08,856 HA HA HA. WHEN I GLUED HIS FINGERS 369 00:17:08,858 --> 00:17:09,988 IN THE BOWLING BALL. 370 00:17:09,989 --> 00:17:11,529 YEAH, THAT ONE. 371 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,151 HA HA. YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN HOW STUPID HE LOOKED 372 00:17:13,153 --> 00:17:14,533 WALKING AROUND WITH THE BALL. 373 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,464 WE CALLED HIM "FREDDIE BOWLING HAND." 374 00:17:16,456 --> 00:17:19,036 HA HA HA! 375 00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:27,134 WELL, IT WASN'T THAT FUNNY. 376 00:17:27,127 --> 00:17:28,467 I MEAN, IT WAS AMUSING. 377 00:17:30,260 --> 00:17:31,970 I'LL BE OUT THERE. 378 00:17:44,394 --> 00:17:47,654 WOW. YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. 379 00:17:47,647 --> 00:17:49,687 SO DO YOU. 380 00:17:49,689 --> 00:17:52,399 YEAH, I JUST HAD MY HEAD POLISHED. 381 00:17:52,402 --> 00:17:53,492 WHERE ARE THE KIDS? 382 00:17:53,493 --> 00:17:55,293 THEY'RE IN THE KITCHEN EATING DINNER. 383 00:17:55,285 --> 00:17:56,615 EATING DINNER? 384 00:17:56,616 --> 00:17:57,656 I THOUGHT WE WERE ALL GOING OUT FOR DINNER. 385 00:17:57,657 --> 00:17:59,457 WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT? 386 00:17:59,459 --> 00:18:01,539 BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE AGREED ON. 387 00:18:01,541 --> 00:18:03,411 YOU WEREN'T LISTENING TO ME, WERE YOU? 388 00:18:03,413 --> 00:18:05,303 WHAT, WHEN? 389 00:18:05,295 --> 00:18:07,465 YOU. WHEN I CAME IN HERE THIS MORNING, 390 00:18:07,467 --> 00:18:09,467 AND YOU WERE WATCHING YOUR STUPID BASKETBALL GAME, 391 00:18:09,469 --> 00:18:11,709 AND I SAID MICHAEL... 392 00:18:11,711 --> 00:18:13,511 MICHAEL. 393 00:18:13,513 --> 00:18:15,353 WHAT? I TRIED TO COMMUNICATE, 394 00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:17,595 BUT THE KIDS GOT THEIR OWN STUFF GOING ON. 395 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,347 THAT'S FINE, MICHAEL. I SURRENDER. 396 00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:21,599 I'M THROUGH ARGUING. 397 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,931 I JUST WANT YOU TO DO ME ONE FAVOR -- 398 00:18:22,932 --> 00:18:23,932 SURE, BABE. 399 00:18:23,933 --> 00:18:26,653 WHEN THE KIDS COME BACK FROM THEIR PARTY, 400 00:18:26,646 --> 00:18:28,356 LET'S GO OUT FOR A NICE DINNER. 401 00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:30,108 LET'S GO! 402 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,359 YEAH, OUT! JUST THE FAMILY. 403 00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:35,952 NO WORK, NO TELEVISION, JUST YOU, ME, AND THE KIDS. 404 00:18:35,945 --> 00:18:38,575 ARE YOU OKAY WITH THAT? 405 00:18:38,578 --> 00:18:39,788 THAT'S GREAT. 406 00:18:39,789 --> 00:18:42,079 JUST GREAT! HONEY! 407 00:18:42,081 --> 00:18:44,451 I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS. 408 00:18:44,454 --> 00:18:45,634 THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN! 409 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:50,545 WHOO! WHOO! 410 00:18:50,550 --> 00:18:53,130 AND YOU DIDN'T HEAR A WORD I SAID. 411 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,712 BUT I TOLD YOU THAT. 412 00:18:54,714 --> 00:18:56,314 DID NOT. WHEN DID YOU TELL ME THAT? 413 00:18:56,306 --> 00:18:59,466 YES, I DID, WHEN YOU WERE ON THE PHONE IN THE KITCHEN. 414 00:18:59,469 --> 00:19:01,099 I WALKED IN, YOU WERE GABBING, 415 00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:02,470 "NO, YOU DIDN'T. YES, YOU DID." 416 00:19:02,472 --> 00:19:04,022 JAY? YEAH. 417 00:19:04,023 --> 00:19:05,063 CAN I TALK TO YOU? UH-HUH. 418 00:19:05,064 --> 00:19:06,534 LISTEN, BABY, YOU WERE RIGHT. 419 00:19:06,526 --> 00:19:08,976 I DIDN'T HEAR A WORD YOU SAID TO ME THIS MORNING. 420 00:19:08,978 --> 00:19:11,648 AND I REALLY FEEL BAD, BECAUSE YOU'RE MY QUEEN, BABY. 421 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,481 AND WHEN YOU WALK IN THE ROOM, 422 00:19:13,483 --> 00:19:16,413 YOU DESERVE MY UNDIVIDED ATTENTION. 423 00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:18,616 I WANT TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU. 424 00:19:18,618 --> 00:19:19,698 UH-HUH. 425 00:19:19,699 --> 00:19:21,659 SO TONIGHT I'M GOING TO FEED THE KIDS EARLY, 426 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,161 THEN YOU AND I ARE GOING OUT, DINNER AND DANCING. 427 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,383 WHAT? 428 00:19:25,375 --> 00:19:27,665 WE HAVEN'T DONE THAT IN A LONG TIME. 429 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,837 ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CALL ROSA. 430 00:19:29,839 --> 00:19:31,589 WOULD YOU DO THAT FOR ME? 431 00:19:31,591 --> 00:19:33,501 YEAH, SURE, I'D LOVE TO, YEAH. 432 00:19:33,503 --> 00:19:35,853 OKAY. HEY, I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS. 433 00:19:35,845 --> 00:19:37,505 YEAH, ME, TOO, ME, TOO. 434 00:19:37,507 --> 00:19:38,467 IT FEELS SO GOOD. 435 00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:40,468 GOOD, UH-HUH. 436 00:19:42,642 --> 00:19:44,512 SO, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF, 437 00:19:44,514 --> 00:19:47,024 MISS "COMMUNICATION"? 438 00:19:47,016 --> 00:19:49,686 I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY. 439 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:52,309 THAT'S RIGHT, AND HALLE BERRY. 440 00:19:52,312 --> 00:19:54,772 SHUT UP. 441 00:19:54,774 --> 00:19:56,244 I GUESS YOU DIDN'T CALL ROSA, 442 00:19:56,236 --> 00:19:58,276 'CAUSE YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME ASK YOU TO CALL ROSA. 443 00:19:58,278 --> 00:19:59,368 NO, NO, NO. 444 00:19:59,369 --> 00:20:01,619 WELL, THEN WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO HAVE CEREAL 445 00:20:01,621 --> 00:20:02,911 WITH THE KIDS FOR DINNER. 446 00:20:02,912 --> 00:20:05,542 OH, NO. I DON'T GET ALL DRESSED UP, MAKE COBBLER, 447 00:20:05,535 --> 00:20:07,745 AND HAVE SEX FOR SOME CAP'N CRUNCH. 448 00:20:07,747 --> 00:20:10,997 THE KIDS ARE BIG ENOUGH TO TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES. 449 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,040 HEY, HOW'S YOUR HAND? 450 00:20:14,043 --> 00:20:16,143 WELL, I CAN FINALLY FEEL MY FINGERS NOW. 451 00:20:16,135 --> 00:20:18,715 GOOD, WELL, YOUR DAD AND I ARE GOING OUT FOR DINNER. 452 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,598 WE'RE LEAVING YOU IN CHARGE OF YOURSELVES. 453 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,180 YOU KNOW THE RULES. YES, MOM. 454 00:20:23,182 --> 00:20:24,602 IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW THEM, 455 00:20:24,604 --> 00:20:27,564 WE'RE GOING TO TELL YOU THEM ONE MORE TIME. JUNIOR... 456 00:20:27,557 --> 00:20:30,227 [ BOTH SPEAKING CHINESE ] 457 00:20:42,662 --> 00:20:45,292 YOU KNOW I HATE IT WHEN YOU IGNORE ME. 458 00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:47,075 HMM? 459 00:20:47,076 --> 00:20:52,536 HONEY, WE WORK ALL WEEKNONG. 460 00:20:52,542 --> 00:20:54,632 YOU DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND ME. 461 00:20:54,634 --> 00:20:57,264 I MEAN, I REALLY WANT TO WATCH THE GAME, 462 00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,086 AND I DON'T KNOW MY LINE.