1 00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:09,429 HEY, BABY, WHAT YOU DOING? 2 00:00:09,430 --> 00:00:11,050 CLEANING OUT OUR CLOSETS. 3 00:00:11,052 --> 00:00:13,222 I GOT A BUNCH OF STUFF I'M GOING TO GIVE TO GOODWILL. 4 00:00:13,224 --> 00:00:14,484 REALLY? 5 00:00:14,475 --> 00:00:17,225 WELL, GOOD. WE'LL KEEP THIS RIGHT HERE. 6 00:00:17,228 --> 00:00:19,138 THIS IS MY HAT -- THIS IS MY FAVORITE HAT. 7 00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:20,520 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 8 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,021 YOU HAVEN'T WORN THAT HAT IN 10 YEARS, MICHAEL. 9 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,642 ARE YOU CRA-- 10 00:00:23,644 --> 00:00:25,244 I JUST WORE THIS ABOUT SEVEN YEARS AGO. 11 00:00:27,238 --> 00:00:30,238 YOU HAVE ALL MY STUFF IN HERE. 12 00:00:30,241 --> 00:00:31,651 MICHAEL, THIS JUNK HAS BEEN CLOGGING UP MY CLOSET FOR YEARS, 13 00:00:31,652 --> 00:00:33,032 AND IT'S GOT TO GO. 14 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,663 JUNK? 15 00:00:34,655 --> 00:00:36,655 WELL, WHY DON'T YOU GET RID OF SOME OF YOUR JUNK? 16 00:00:36,657 --> 00:00:39,117 J-- I DON'T HAVE ANY JUNK. 17 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:41,370 THREE PAIRS OF EARTH SHOES -- ISN'T THAT JUNK? 18 00:00:41,372 --> 00:00:43,002 NOW, WAIT A MINUTE. 19 00:00:43,003 --> 00:00:45,223 SHOES NEVER GO OUT OF STYLE. THEY PHASE IN AND OUT. 20 00:00:45,216 --> 00:00:47,296 IF I GOT RID OF MY OLD EARTH SHOES, 21 00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:50,298 I'D HAVE TO PAY $200 NEXT YEAR FOR SOME NEW ONES. 22 00:00:50,301 --> 00:00:52,091 BUT YOUR HATS -- 23 00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:53,473 NOW, THESE GO OUT OF STYLE, MICHAEL. 24 00:00:53,474 --> 00:00:55,684 THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 25 00:00:55,676 --> 00:00:57,846 YOU KNOW THIS HAT IS JUST AS COOL AS IT WAS 26 00:00:57,848 --> 00:01:00,348 WHEN I FIRST BOUGHT IT -- LOOK AT THIS. 27 00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:06,356 WHAT? 28 00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:07,987 OKAY, LET'S MAKE A DEAL. 29 00:01:07,988 --> 00:01:09,528 WHATEVER YOU WEAR, YOU CAN KEEP. 30 00:01:09,530 --> 00:01:11,240 HOW DOES THAT SOUND? 31 00:01:11,242 --> 00:01:12,572 OKAY, AND BACK AT YOU -- WHATEVER YOU DON'T WEAR 32 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,163 IN YOUR CLOSET, I'M GETTING RID OF IT. 33 00:01:14,155 --> 00:01:15,325 OKAY. 34 00:01:15,326 --> 00:01:17,116 WHATEVER WE DON'T WEAR IN THIS NEXT WEEK HAS GOT TO GO. 35 00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:18,698 DEAL? DEAL. 36 00:01:18,699 --> 00:01:20,159 COOL. 37 00:01:20,161 --> 00:01:22,331 SEAL IT WITH A KISS AND THEN SOME LATER ON. 38 00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:23,963 WHATEVER. 39 00:01:26,507 --> 00:01:29,507 [ ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ] 40 00:01:40,931 --> 00:01:42,311 HEY, HEY, HEY. WHOA, WHOA. 41 00:01:42,313 --> 00:01:43,933 [ WHISTLES ] 42 00:01:43,934 --> 00:01:45,404 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING 43 00:01:45,396 --> 00:01:47,026 WITH MY GUITAR? 44 00:01:47,027 --> 00:01:48,397 MOM GAVE IT TO ME. 45 00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:49,939 SHE SAID IT WAS JUNK FROM THE CLOSET. 46 00:01:49,940 --> 00:01:51,570 WELL, IT'S NOT JUNK. IT'S MINE. 47 00:01:51,572 --> 00:01:52,902 WELL, CAN I PLAY IT? 48 00:01:52,903 --> 00:01:54,503 APPARENTLY NOT. 49 00:01:57,538 --> 00:02:00,198 WHAT IS THAT Y'ALL TRYING TO DO? WHAT'S THAT SOUND? 50 00:02:00,201 --> 00:02:01,621 OH, WE'RE JUST JAMMING. 51 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:04,382 YEAH, YOU'RE JAMMING A HEADACHE INTO MY EAR. 52 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:07,665 AND WHO'S THIS BEIGE KID? SISQO? 53 00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:12,090 NO, DAD. THAT'S TOMMY JEFFERSON. 54 00:02:12,092 --> 00:02:14,312 HE'S THE BADDEST KEYBOARD PLAYER IN SCHOOL. 55 00:02:14,305 --> 00:02:16,255 YOU THE BADDEST ALL RIGHT. WHAT'S UP? 56 00:02:16,257 --> 00:02:18,137 NICE TO MEET YOU, MR. KYLE. 57 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,718 NICE TO MEET YOU. 58 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,470 W-WHAT WAS THE SOUND Y'ALL TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH? 59 00:02:21,472 --> 00:02:26,032 IT'S KIND OF A BLUES- DR. DRE-BRITNEY SPEARS FUSION. 60 00:02:26,026 --> 00:02:29,226 SEE, THE PROBLEM IS Y'ALL TRYING TO DO TOO MUCH. 61 00:02:29,230 --> 00:02:31,400 YOU GOT TO KEEP IT SIMPLE AND PURE. 62 00:02:31,402 --> 00:02:33,032 YOU KNOW WHO THE PUREST GUITAR PLAYER WAS 63 00:02:33,033 --> 00:02:34,453 IN THE HISTORY OF THE GUITAR? 64 00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:36,075 JIMI HENDRIX. 65 00:02:36,076 --> 00:02:37,446 OH, WE DO A JIMI SONG. 66 00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:39,078 WE DO "PURPLE HAZE." HOLD ON. 67 00:02:40,371 --> 00:02:43,541 ♪ 'SCUSE ME WHILE I KISS THE SKY ♪ 68 00:02:51,382 --> 00:02:53,252 LOOK, LET ME SHOW YOU SOME JIMI. 69 00:02:56,006 --> 00:02:57,386 STEP BACK. 70 00:02:58,799 --> 00:03:01,889 [ PLAYS "PURPLE HAZE" ] 71 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,679 NOW, THAT'S ROCK 'N' ROLL. 72 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:55,912 DAD, ANYTIME YOU WANT TO SET ANY OF MY STUFF ON FIRE, 73 00:03:55,906 --> 00:03:57,236 FEEL FREE, 74 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,197 BECAUSE THIS IS A GREAT GUITAR. 75 00:03:59,199 --> 00:04:01,699 IT SURE IS, AND YOU BETTER TAKE CARE OF IT. 76 00:04:01,702 --> 00:04:04,072 THAT'S A GIBSON LES PAUL 1950s REISSUE 77 00:04:04,074 --> 00:04:05,504 WITH HUMBUCKER PICKUPS, 78 00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:08,246 SO YOU GO UPSTAIRS AND MAKE THAT BUCKER HUM. 79 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,328 I WILL. TOMMY'S COMING OVER LATER, 80 00:04:10,331 --> 00:04:12,631 AND WE'RE GOING TO JAM SOME MORE. 81 00:04:12,633 --> 00:04:15,263 HOW DID YOU HOOK UP WITH THIS... 82 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,085 THIS TOMMY BOY? 83 00:04:17,087 --> 00:04:18,297 I MET HIM IN MY ART CLASS, 84 00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:20,339 AND HE SEEMS TO BE A REALLY COOL GUY. 85 00:04:20,341 --> 00:04:22,221 HE MAY BE COOL, BUT HE'S TONE DEAF. 86 00:04:22,222 --> 00:04:24,052 HEY, BEFORE YOU CRITICIZE, 87 00:04:24,054 --> 00:04:26,394 TAKE A LOOK AT THE MAN IN THE MIRROR. 88 00:04:26,387 --> 00:04:30,347 YEAH, WELL, YOU LOOK LIKE A GAY INSECT. 89 00:04:33,894 --> 00:04:35,614 HEY, SON. 90 00:04:35,606 --> 00:04:39,156 "FLASHDANCE" -- WHAT A FEELIN'. 91 00:04:39,159 --> 00:04:40,319 SHUT UP. 92 00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:42,321 MOM, LET'S GO. 93 00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:44,963 I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE 10 MINUTES AGO. 94 00:04:44,955 --> 00:04:46,365 OKAY, COME ON, LET'S GO. 95 00:04:46,367 --> 00:04:48,787 I'M READY, TOO! 96 00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,669 MOM! 97 00:04:50,671 --> 00:04:53,211 UH, OKAY, I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO. 98 00:04:53,213 --> 00:04:55,093 UM, BABY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 99 00:04:55,085 --> 00:04:56,295 I'M SORRY, SWEETHEART, 100 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,966 TODAY IS BIG GIRL DAY AT THE MALL. 101 00:04:57,968 --> 00:05:00,588 I'M SURE CLAIRE WILL TAKE YOU ANOTHER DAY, THOUGH. 102 00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:02,421 AIN'T THAT RIGHT, CLAIRE? 103 00:05:02,423 --> 00:05:03,763 OH, SURE, KADY. 104 00:05:03,764 --> 00:05:06,394 THE NEXT TIME I GO, YOU'LL COME WITH ME. 105 00:05:06,387 --> 00:05:08,267 YOU UNDERSTAND, DON'T YOU, HONEY? 106 00:05:08,268 --> 00:05:09,558 YEAH, I GUESS. 107 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,810 OH, COME ON, LET ME SEE THAT SMILE. 108 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,522 OOH. 109 00:05:13,524 --> 00:05:15,534 WELL, MAYBE YOUR DADDY 110 00:05:15,526 --> 00:05:18,146 WILL DO SOMETHING FUN WITH YOU. 111 00:05:18,148 --> 00:05:20,358 SURE, WHY DON'T WE GO GET SOME ICE CREAM? 112 00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:22,031 AND I WON'T TAKE MY LACTAID, 113 00:05:22,032 --> 00:05:24,542 AND I'LL MAKE BOOTY TRUMPETS ALL THE WAY HOME. 114 00:05:24,535 --> 00:05:26,365 OKAY. 115 00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:28,367 OKAY, GREAT, EVERYBODY'S HAPPY. 116 00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:30,369 TALK TO YOU LATER. 117 00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:31,541 OKAY. 118 00:05:31,542 --> 00:05:33,042 SEE YOU. BYE. 119 00:05:33,043 --> 00:05:36,513 YOU DIDN'T THINK I WAS GOING OUT LIKE THIS, DID YOU? 120 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,880 SO, YOU READY TO GO HAVE SOME FUN? 121 00:05:43,764 --> 00:05:46,354 [ CRYING ] 122 00:06:00,070 --> 00:06:02,030 [ KADY CRYING ] 123 00:06:03,744 --> 00:06:05,584 BREAKER ONE, BREAKER ONE... 124 00:06:05,576 --> 00:06:07,536 [ IMITATES STATIC CRACKLING ] 125 00:06:07,538 --> 00:06:10,578 WE HAVE A LITTLE GIRL BEING EATEN BY A BIG PILLOW. 126 00:06:10,581 --> 00:06:13,161 OVER. I DON'T SEE ANYTHING EXCEPT FEET. 127 00:06:13,163 --> 00:06:14,633 I'M GOING TO TICKLE THEM 128 00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,755 AND SEE IF I CAN GET A REACTION. 129 00:06:16,757 --> 00:06:18,047 STOP IT, DADDY! 130 00:06:18,048 --> 00:06:19,378 OH, GOT A REACTION! 131 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:22,459 NOW I'LL APPLY THE RASPBERRY TECHNIQUE THAT I LEARNED 132 00:06:22,463 --> 00:06:23,883 AT THE POLICE STATION! 133 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,474 [ INHALING LOUDLY ] 134 00:06:26,467 --> 00:06:27,967 SHE'S ALIVE! 135 00:06:27,968 --> 00:06:29,558 YAY! 136 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:30,720 YOU OKAY? 137 00:06:30,721 --> 00:06:32,771 CLAIRE HATES ME. 138 00:06:32,773 --> 00:06:34,483 NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE, SWEETHEART. 139 00:06:34,475 --> 00:06:37,515 THEN WHY WON'T SHE LET ME GO TO THE MALL WITH HER? 140 00:06:37,518 --> 00:06:39,358 WELL, LET ME TELL YOU A STORY. 141 00:06:39,359 --> 00:06:42,399 YOU EVER HEARD THE STORY OF THE TORTOISE AND THE HARE? 142 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,652 UNH-UNH. 143 00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,164 OKAY, ONCE UPON A TIME, 144 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,235 THERE WAS THIS HARE NAMED CLAIRE, 145 00:06:47,237 --> 00:06:49,447 AND THAT'S A RABBIT, AND IT RHYMES. 146 00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:51,240 AND THE HARE WAS ALL OVER THE PLACE. 147 00:06:51,241 --> 00:06:53,741 AND THEN THERE WAS THIS CUTE LITTLE TURTLE NAMED KADY, 148 00:06:53,744 --> 00:06:56,424 AND KADY ALWAYS WANTED TO HANG OUT, 149 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,996 AND THE RABBIT SAID, "HEY, YOU WANT TO RACE? 150 00:06:58,999 --> 00:07:00,589 YOU WANT TO RACE, TURTLE?" 151 00:07:00,591 --> 00:07:02,631 AND THE TURTLE COULD ONLY MOVE... 152 00:07:02,633 --> 00:07:05,223 [ Speaking slowly ] REAL...UM...SLOW... 153 00:07:05,215 --> 00:07:06,635 WHEN SHE MOVED. 154 00:07:06,637 --> 00:07:09,257 AND THE RABBIT WOULD JUST HOP, HOP, HOP 155 00:07:09,259 --> 00:07:11,389 BECAUSE SHE WAS TRYING TO GET THROUGH LIFE REAL QUICK, 156 00:07:11,391 --> 00:07:12,641 AND THEN ONE DAY, 157 00:07:12,643 --> 00:07:14,653 THE TURTLE WAS RUNNING UP, GOING... 158 00:07:14,645 --> 00:07:17,265 [ Speaking slowly ] "UH...HEY...UH...RABBIT... 159 00:07:17,267 --> 00:07:18,477 COULD YOU WAIT FOR ME?" 160 00:07:18,479 --> 00:07:20,559 AND THE RABBIT TURNED AROUND AND LOOKED, 161 00:07:20,561 --> 00:07:22,861 AND WHEN SHE TURNED BACK -- BAM -- SHE HIT A TREE 162 00:07:22,863 --> 00:07:24,573 AND FELL ON HER BEHIND. 163 00:07:24,565 --> 00:07:26,365 AND THE TURTLE WENT UP AND SAID, 164 00:07:26,366 --> 00:07:30,526 "UH...HELLO...UH... THERE...RABBIT. 165 00:07:30,531 --> 00:07:32,951 "UH...WATCH OUT...UH... 166 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,583 FOR THE TREE." 167 00:07:34,575 --> 00:07:36,495 WHAT'S THE MORAL, DADDY? 168 00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:38,247 HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT A MORAL IS? 169 00:07:38,248 --> 00:07:41,078 WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS ONE AT THE END. 170 00:07:41,081 --> 00:07:43,291 THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS 171 00:07:43,293 --> 00:07:46,013 YOUR SISTER CLAIRE HAS TO GO THROUGH LIFE 172 00:07:46,006 --> 00:07:48,546 AND MAKE MISTAKES SO SHE CAN COME BACK 173 00:07:48,549 --> 00:07:50,639 AND TELL YOU WHAT NOT TO DO. 174 00:07:50,641 --> 00:07:52,851 ARE THERE TREES IN A MALL? 175 00:07:52,853 --> 00:07:56,523 NO, BUT THERE'S ONE OUTSIDE THE ICE CREAM PARLOR. 176 00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:58,557 YOU WANT TO GO? 177 00:07:58,559 --> 00:08:00,399 HUH? YOU READY TO GO? 178 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,560 UH...YUP. 179 00:08:02,563 --> 00:08:05,243 UH...YUP. LET'S GO, RABBIT. 180 00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,606 BOING, BOING, BOING. 181 00:08:08,609 --> 00:08:10,029 WAIT. 182 00:08:10,030 --> 00:08:11,660 OH, YOU HEARD THAT? 183 00:08:11,662 --> 00:08:13,872 THE BOOTY TRUMPET'S WORKING ALREADY. 184 00:08:18,919 --> 00:08:21,249 YO, DAD. 185 00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,621 WHAT'S UP? 186 00:08:27,047 --> 00:08:28,677 WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? 187 00:08:28,679 --> 00:08:30,049 THIS? NOTHING. 188 00:08:30,050 --> 00:08:31,680 THIS IS WHAT I WEAR ALL THE TIME. 189 00:08:31,682 --> 00:08:32,762 ASK YOUR MOTHER. 190 00:08:32,763 --> 00:08:36,233 IT'S CALLED A DAISHIKI. 191 00:08:36,226 --> 00:08:38,726 THIS WAS THE FUBU OF THE '70s. 192 00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:42,942 WHAT'S UP WITH YOU? 193 00:08:42,943 --> 00:08:44,653 WELL, I'M HAVING TROUBLE WRITING SONGS. 194 00:08:44,645 --> 00:08:46,945 I CAN'T GET IT TO FLOW THE WAY I WANT IT TO. 195 00:08:46,947 --> 00:08:49,447 WELL, HAVE YOU CAME UP WITH A MELODY? 196 00:08:49,449 --> 00:08:50,819 THAT'S WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. YOU HAVE TO HAVE A THEME 197 00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:53,611 OR A MELODY, THEN YOU BUILD AROUND THAT. 198 00:08:53,614 --> 00:08:55,714 GREAT. HOW DO YOU WRITE A MELODY? 199 00:08:55,706 --> 00:08:57,956 WELL, YOU JUST DON'T WRITE IT, YOU GOT TO FEEL IT. 200 00:08:57,958 --> 00:08:59,418 I'VE BEEN TRYING TO, 201 00:08:59,419 --> 00:09:00,869 BUT I SEEM TO HAVE HIT A DEAD END. 202 00:09:00,871 --> 00:09:02,871 JUNIOR, CREATIVITY IS ELUSIVE. 203 00:09:02,873 --> 00:09:05,053 YOU HAVE TO FIND YOUR MUSE. 204 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,295 MY WHAT? 205 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:08,667 YOUR INSPIRATION -- WHAT'LL TAKE YOU TO THE NEXT LEVEL. 206 00:09:08,669 --> 00:09:10,929 FOR VAN GOGH, HE CUT HIS EAR OFF FOR A WOMAN. 207 00:09:10,931 --> 00:09:13,971 ME, I HAD THREE MOUTHS TO FEED. 208 00:09:13,974 --> 00:09:16,564 YOU KNOW, MIKE TYSON, IT WAS STAYING OUT OF JAIL. 209 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,228 WHAT INSPIRES YOU? 210 00:09:20,230 --> 00:09:24,020 VIDEO GAMES, PORK RINDS... 211 00:09:24,024 --> 00:09:26,534 AND NAKED WOMEN. 212 00:09:28,528 --> 00:09:30,488 ALL RIGHT, THEN, THAT'S YOUR FIRST VERSE. 213 00:09:30,490 --> 00:09:32,190 GREAT. THANKS, DAD. 214 00:09:32,192 --> 00:09:35,252 ♪ VIDEO GAMES, PORK RINDS, AND ♪ 215 00:09:35,245 --> 00:09:37,575 ♪ NAKED WOMEN ♪ 216 00:09:40,751 --> 00:09:44,201 WHAT RHYMES WITH "PORK RINDS"? 217 00:09:46,627 --> 00:09:49,007 VENETIAN BLINDS? 218 00:09:49,009 --> 00:09:52,509 AW, MAN, THIS ISN'T WORKING. WE'VE GOT NO INSPIRATION. 219 00:09:52,512 --> 00:09:55,562 WELL, I GOT A LITTLE INSPIRATION RIGHT HERE. 220 00:09:55,555 --> 00:09:57,135 WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAN? 221 00:09:57,137 --> 00:09:59,427 YOU CAN'T BRING A JOINT IN MY HOUSE. 222 00:09:59,429 --> 00:10:01,019 MY DAD WILL KILL ME. 223 00:10:01,021 --> 00:10:02,771 WELL, THEN LET'S GET RID OF IT. 224 00:10:02,773 --> 00:10:04,653 HOW? 225 00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:07,065 BEST WAY IS TO BURN IT. 226 00:10:07,067 --> 00:10:08,987 I DON'T KNOW, TOMMY. 227 00:10:08,989 --> 00:10:11,569 LOOK, ALL THE GREATS USE THIS STUFF. 228 00:10:11,571 --> 00:10:13,651 YOUR DAD TALKED ABOUT JIMI. 229 00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:16,204 JIMI WAS SO HIGH HE KISSED THE SKY. 230 00:10:16,196 --> 00:10:18,696 BOB MARLEY, 231 00:10:18,699 --> 00:10:20,789 ALL THE ROLLING STONES, 232 00:10:20,791 --> 00:10:23,201 THE BEATLES, SNOOP, AND DRE. 233 00:10:23,203 --> 00:10:24,843 CLINTON. 234 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,456 YOU WANT TO UNLOCK YOUR MIND, THIS IS THE KEY. 235 00:10:37,097 --> 00:10:39,557 HEY, BABY. 236 00:10:46,857 --> 00:10:49,647 YOU LOOK LIKE A VIRGIN WITH THREE KIDS. 237 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:54,953 HEY, GUYS, WHAT'S UP? 238 00:10:54,945 --> 00:10:57,195 [ LAUGHING ] 239 00:10:59,830 --> 00:11:02,830 WHAT'S SO FUNNY? 240 00:11:02,833 --> 00:11:05,593 UH, UH, TOMMY BROUGHT OVER HIS COSBY ALBUM. 241 00:11:05,585 --> 00:11:07,785 DO YOU KNOW THAT GUY WAS REALLY FUNNY? 242 00:11:07,788 --> 00:11:10,378 [ Imitating Bill Cosby ] WHAT DO YOU MEANWASFUNNY? 243 00:11:10,380 --> 00:11:12,790 COSBYISFUNNY BECAUSE HE SMOKES AND... 244 00:11:12,793 --> 00:11:15,723 [ MUMBLES ] 245 00:11:15,716 --> 00:11:18,756 I WISH I HAD A CIGAR, BUT I GOT ASTHMA, 246 00:11:18,759 --> 00:11:21,059 AND THEY WOULDN'T GIVE IT TO ME. 247 00:11:21,061 --> 00:11:22,931 ARE YOU OKAY, MR. KYLE? 248 00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:26,193 [ Normal voice ] JUST DOING MY COSBY IMPRESSION. 249 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,766 MOM, CAN WE TAKE SOME FOOD UPSTAIRS? 250 00:11:28,769 --> 00:11:30,859 UH, YES, IF YOU PROMISE TO BE CAREFUL 251 00:11:30,861 --> 00:11:32,311 AND CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELVES. 252 00:11:32,312 --> 00:11:33,692 YEAH, WE PROMISE. 253 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:34,993 ALL RIGHT. 254 00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:38,365 [ As Cosby ] MAYBE THEY WANT SOME JELL-O PUDDING POPS. 255 00:11:38,368 --> 00:11:40,908 NO. SO, HAVE YOU FOUND ANYTHING 256 00:11:40,911 --> 00:11:43,031 YOU WANT ME TO THROW OUT YET? 257 00:11:43,033 --> 00:11:45,633 YES, THAT OUTFIT YOU HAVE ON RIGHT NOW. 258 00:11:45,625 --> 00:11:46,955 HA HA HA. 259 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:48,587 [ BOTH LAUGHING ] 260 00:11:48,588 --> 00:11:50,168 CHECK YOU GUYS LATER. 261 00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:52,590 [ BOTH LAUGHING ] 262 00:11:56,797 --> 00:11:58,837 OH, I DROPPED IT. 263 00:12:05,345 --> 00:12:07,935 THEM FOOLS IS STONED. 264 00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:17,275 I'M GOING TO KNOCK THEIR HEADS TOGETHER SO HARD 265 00:12:17,277 --> 00:12:19,277 THEY SHARE A CHIN. 266 00:12:19,279 --> 00:12:20,619 BABY, NO, NO, NO, NO. WHAT? 267 00:12:20,620 --> 00:12:23,280 NOTHING YOU SAY TO THEM IS GOING TO MAKE SENSE. 268 00:12:23,283 --> 00:12:25,293 THEY'RE GOING TO FORGET IT. THEY'RE HIGH. 269 00:12:25,285 --> 00:12:27,745 SO WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO -- NOTHING? 270 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,707 I DIDN'T SAY THAT. LET'S MESS WITH THEIR HEADS. 271 00:12:33,583 --> 00:12:35,973 Michael: OKAY, YOU READY? 272 00:12:35,966 --> 00:12:37,426 Jay: UH-HUH. 273 00:12:37,427 --> 00:12:41,677 HEY, JUNIOR, TOMMY, Y'ALL COME DOWNSTAIRS! 274 00:12:41,681 --> 00:12:44,051 YOU GOT TO SEE THIS. HA HA HA HA. 275 00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:46,524 HA HA HA HA. HEE HEE HEE HEE. 276 00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:48,306 WHAT'S UP, POP? 277 00:12:48,308 --> 00:12:51,888 WHAT IS THIS SHOW? YOU EVER SEE THIS SHOW BEFORE? 278 00:12:51,892 --> 00:12:53,692 HA HA HA HA. 279 00:12:53,693 --> 00:12:56,033 WHAT'S THAT? 280 00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:58,526 HE WAS IN "THE INVISIBLE MAN." WHAT'S HIS NAME? 281 00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:00,738 I CAN'T REMEMBER, DAD. 282 00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:03,570 THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT. 283 00:13:03,573 --> 00:13:05,213 WHO IS IT? 284 00:13:05,205 --> 00:13:06,615 I SAID I CAN'T REMEMBER, DAD. 285 00:13:06,616 --> 00:13:08,616 NO, GET THE DOOR. SOMEONE'S AT THE DOOR. 286 00:13:08,618 --> 00:13:11,168 COULD YOU SEE WHO THAT IS? YOU HEAR THE DOOR, BOY. 287 00:13:11,171 --> 00:13:13,171 YEAH, SURE. 288 00:13:13,173 --> 00:13:14,333 I'LL -- I'LL HELP. 289 00:13:14,334 --> 00:13:15,974 WHAT DID YOU GIVE ME, MAN? 290 00:13:15,966 --> 00:13:17,336 THINGS ARE STARTING TO GET WEIRD. 291 00:13:17,337 --> 00:13:18,837 TELL ME ABOUT IT. 292 00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:21,339 THIS STUFF MUST BE STRONGER THAN I THOUGHT. 293 00:13:23,763 --> 00:13:25,983 Both: OH, MAN. 294 00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:36,944 WHAT'S THE MATTER? THERE'S NOBODY THERE. 295 00:13:36,937 --> 00:13:39,607 OH, THAT'S PROBABLY THE KNOCK FROM THE OTHER DAY. RIGHT. 296 00:13:39,609 --> 00:13:42,899 Both: OH, MAN. 297 00:13:42,903 --> 00:13:44,533 ARE YOU OKAY, JUNIOR? 298 00:13:44,534 --> 00:13:46,504 YEAH, I'M FINE, MOM. 299 00:13:46,496 --> 00:13:48,906 TOMMY, PLEASE, I'M TRYING TO TALK TO MY SON. 300 00:13:48,909 --> 00:13:50,249 [ SPEAKS GIBBERISH ] 301 00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:51,620 [ SPEAKS GIBBERISH ] 302 00:13:51,621 --> 00:13:53,291 I HAVE TO GO NOW. 303 00:13:53,293 --> 00:13:55,053 OH, OFF YOU DO? UNDERSTAND. 304 00:13:55,045 --> 00:13:57,545 BE TO PARENTS FISH NOR FOWL. OR PORK. 305 00:13:57,547 --> 00:14:00,217 I'LL TELL THEM ANYTHING. JUST LET ME GET OUT OF HERE. 306 00:14:00,220 --> 00:14:01,590 NOW, NOW, WAIT. 307 00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:03,421 BE REALLY CAREFUL GOING HOME. 308 00:14:03,423 --> 00:14:05,393 THERE'S A KILLER ON THE LOOSE. 309 00:14:05,385 --> 00:14:08,595 YEAH, HE'S LOOKING FOR THE BLACK BACKSTREET BOY. 310 00:14:10,971 --> 00:14:12,471 I'M GOING TO BED NOW. 311 00:14:12,472 --> 00:14:15,282 WAIT, SON. I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. 312 00:14:15,275 --> 00:14:18,145 VERY...IMPORTANT...THAT I... WHEN I W... 313 00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:21,438 'BOUT THAT BIG, I...CAME... 314 00:14:21,441 --> 00:14:23,651 SEVENTH...AND I...MAMA! 315 00:14:23,653 --> 00:14:27,413 AND I WENT TO SLEEP, AND...CIRCUMCISION. 316 00:14:27,407 --> 00:14:30,037 JUST LIKE THAT. 317 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,410 I'M GOING UPSTAIRS. 318 00:14:31,411 --> 00:14:32,831 JUNIOR! BABY -- 319 00:14:32,832 --> 00:14:34,412 WHAT IS IT? 320 00:14:34,414 --> 00:14:36,214 JUNIOR'S SAYING SOMETHING REALLY STRANGE. 321 00:14:36,206 --> 00:14:39,206 WHAT IS IT, SON? TALK TO ME. WHAT IS IT? 322 00:14:39,209 --> 00:14:41,839 I WANT TO GO LIE DOWN. 323 00:14:41,841 --> 00:14:43,261 WHAT? 324 00:14:43,263 --> 00:14:47,683 I WANT TO GO LIE DOWN. 325 00:14:47,677 --> 00:14:51,427 DON'T TALK TO YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT. 326 00:14:51,431 --> 00:14:52,811 GO APOLOGIZE. APOLOGIZE. 327 00:14:52,812 --> 00:14:54,892 LOOK HER IN THE EYE AND SAY, "I'M SORRY." 328 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,524 MOM, I'M SORRY. 329 00:14:56,516 --> 00:14:58,606 THAT'S NOT YOUR MOTHER. RIGHT THERE. 330 00:14:58,608 --> 00:15:01,108 YOU KNOW YOUR MOTHER WHEN YOU SEE HER. 331 00:15:01,111 --> 00:15:02,651 MOM, I'M SORRY. 332 00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:04,022 NOW GIVE HER A HUG. 333 00:15:04,024 --> 00:15:06,584 GIVE YOUR MOTHER A HUG. 334 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,658 A BIG HUG. 335 00:15:12,702 --> 00:15:15,002 NOW A KISS. 336 00:15:14,995 --> 00:15:17,375 KISS YOUR MOTHER. 337 00:15:17,377 --> 00:15:20,457 DON'T PUT NO TONGUE IN YOUR MOTHER'S MOUTH. 338 00:15:20,460 --> 00:15:22,840 GET OUT OF HERE, BOY! 339 00:15:22,842 --> 00:15:24,752 OH, MAN! 340 00:15:26,546 --> 00:15:28,096 HA HA HA HA. 341 00:15:31,351 --> 00:15:33,891 HEY, LOOK WHO'S HOME. 342 00:15:33,893 --> 00:15:35,903 YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE SOME FENCES TO MEND 343 00:15:35,895 --> 00:15:36,685 WITH YOUR SISTER. 344 00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:38,766 DADDY, SHE'S EXTRA BAGGAGE. 345 00:15:38,768 --> 00:15:39,818 SHE'S ANNOYING. 346 00:15:39,819 --> 00:15:42,109 YEAH, AND SO WERE YOU AT THAT AGE. 347 00:15:42,112 --> 00:15:44,112 THE POINT IS, YOU'RE HER HERO. 348 00:15:44,114 --> 00:15:46,124 SHE DOESN'T WANT TO RUIN YOUR FUN. 349 00:15:46,116 --> 00:15:48,826 SHE JUST WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH YOU, 350 00:15:48,828 --> 00:15:51,698 SEE WHAT MAKES CLAIRE TICK, BECAUSE IN HER LITTLE MIND, 351 00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,701 WHEN SHE GROWS UP, SHE WANTS TO BE JUST LIKE YOU. 352 00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:55,213 YEAH, I KNOW. 353 00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:57,205 SO THE QUESTION IS ARE YOU ACTING 354 00:15:57,207 --> 00:16:00,207 LIKE THE KIND OF PERSON YOU'D LIKE TO SEE HER BECOME? 355 00:16:15,595 --> 00:16:18,475 SO, YOU'RE STILL MAD AT ME, HUH? 356 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,148 YEP. 357 00:16:20,150 --> 00:16:24,770 THAT'S A REALLY PRETTY DOLL. WHAT'S HER NAME? 358 00:16:24,774 --> 00:16:28,414 CLAIRE. 359 00:16:28,408 --> 00:16:31,738 OH. 360 00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:34,741 LISTEN, I REALLY OWE YOU AN APOLOGY. 361 00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:38,124 I DUMPED YOU THE OTHER DAY, AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE. 362 00:16:38,118 --> 00:16:40,248 THAT'S RIGHT. 363 00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,330 I'M REALLY SORRY, KADY. 364 00:16:42,332 --> 00:16:46,302 SOMETIMES I CAN BE REALLY SELFISH. 365 00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:49,176 I MEAN, I DON'T MEAN TO BE. 366 00:16:49,179 --> 00:16:51,009 IT'S JUST -- 367 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:54,340 I'LL TRY NOT TO LET THAT HAPPEN NEXT TIME. 368 00:16:54,344 --> 00:16:57,274 SO, WILL YOU FORGIVE ME? 369 00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,897 WHAT'S IN THE BAG? 370 00:16:59,899 --> 00:17:02,849 MM, GLITTER NAIL POLISH. 371 00:17:02,852 --> 00:17:05,992 I LOVE YOU. 372 00:17:05,985 --> 00:17:09,235 ALL RIGHT, THEN. LET'S GET TO WORK. 373 00:17:17,617 --> 00:17:19,827 HEY, HEARD YOU HAD A HEADACHE. 374 00:17:19,829 --> 00:17:20,829 YEAH. 375 00:17:20,830 --> 00:17:22,830 [ SLAMS DOOR ] 376 00:17:22,832 --> 00:17:25,222 I HAD A TOUGH NIGHT. 377 00:17:25,215 --> 00:17:27,875 YEAH, YOU KNOW, I WROTE A SONG ABOUT THAT. 378 00:17:27,877 --> 00:17:30,127 YOU WANT TO HEAR IT? HERE IT GO. 379 00:17:30,130 --> 00:17:32,340 [ PLAYING KEYBOARD ] 380 00:17:32,342 --> 00:17:36,892 ♪ MY SON GOT HOLD OF A REEFER LAST NIGHT ♪ 381 00:17:36,886 --> 00:17:38,346 ♪ I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO HIT HIM ♪ 382 00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:41,228 ♪ WITH THE LEFT OR RIGHT ♪ 383 00:17:41,231 --> 00:17:45,491 ♪ HE PROBABLY THOUGHT DADDY WOULDN'T CARE ♪ 384 00:17:45,485 --> 00:17:46,855 ♪ BUT IF HE DO IT AGAIN ♪ 385 00:17:46,856 --> 00:17:49,776 ♪ MY OLDEST KID GONNA BE CLAIRE ♪ 386 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:54,491 I'M SORRY, DAD. 387 00:17:54,494 --> 00:17:57,374 YOU'RE SORRY. I'M SORRY TOO, SON. 388 00:17:57,367 --> 00:18:00,407 YOU KNOW PEOPLE DO DRUGS SO THAT THEY CAN ESCAPE? 389 00:18:00,410 --> 00:18:02,330 WHAT ARE YOU RUNNING FROM -- 390 00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:04,962 A NICE HOUSE FULL OF PEOPLE THAT LOVE YOU? 391 00:18:04,964 --> 00:18:07,674 NO, I JUST WANTED TO EXPAND MY MIND. 392 00:18:07,667 --> 00:18:09,667 I WANTED TO BE LIKE HENDRIX. 393 00:18:09,669 --> 00:18:12,379 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? HENDRIX IS DEAD. 394 00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:14,632 TRY TO BE LIKE SOMEONE WHO'S ALIVE. 395 00:18:14,634 --> 00:18:18,184 AND NOT ROBERT DOWNEY JR. 396 00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:23,480 DID YOU TRY IT WHEN YOU WERE MY AGE? 397 00:18:23,483 --> 00:18:26,283 NO, I NEVER DID DRUGS, I NEVER BROKE THE LAW, 398 00:18:26,276 --> 00:18:29,356 AND THE FIRST, LAST, AND ONLY TIMES I HAD SEX 399 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,439 WAS WHEN YOU GUYS WERE CONCEIVED. 400 00:18:31,441 --> 00:18:35,791 COME ON, DAD. I KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE. 401 00:18:35,785 --> 00:18:38,285 OKAY, I DID DO IT ONCE, AND I DIDN'T LIKE IT. 402 00:18:38,288 --> 00:18:40,288 I DID IT BECAUSE OF MY FRIENDS. 403 00:18:40,290 --> 00:18:41,910 YOU KNOW WHAT? 404 00:18:41,911 --> 00:18:43,911 IF I HAD THE RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FATHER 405 00:18:43,913 --> 00:18:45,713 THAT I THOUGHT I HAD WITH YOU, 406 00:18:45,705 --> 00:18:47,705 I PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT THAT TIME. 407 00:18:47,707 --> 00:18:50,297 BUT, DAD, EVERYBODY I KNOW HAS TRIED IT. 408 00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:53,090 SON, THE WORLD IS FULL OF PEOPLE DOING STUPID THINGS, 409 00:18:53,092 --> 00:18:55,092 AND THEY TRY TO JUSTIFY IT. 410 00:18:55,094 --> 00:18:57,684 LIKE, "DUDE, YOU KNOW, THIS IS, LIKE, NATURAL. 411 00:18:57,677 --> 00:18:59,677 "WEED IS FROM THE EARTH. 412 00:18:59,679 --> 00:19:02,309 "IT'S LIKE RAISINS AND APPLES AND PUMPKIN SEEDS 413 00:19:02,312 --> 00:19:04,022 EXCEPT YOU SMOKE IT." 414 00:19:04,023 --> 00:19:06,073 IT'S SELF-DESTRUCTIVE, 415 00:19:06,065 --> 00:19:08,685 AND I HOPE YOU DON'T DO THAT. 416 00:19:08,688 --> 00:19:11,148 BUT, DAD, THERE'S ALL TYPES OF STUFF AROUND ME. 417 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,940 I KNOW, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 418 00:19:12,942 --> 00:19:14,942 HERE'S WHAT I LEARNED IN LIFE. 419 00:19:14,944 --> 00:19:17,454 THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER 420 00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:19,447 IS YOU AND THE THINGS THAT YOU DO. 421 00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:21,369 YEAH, I GUESS. 422 00:19:21,371 --> 00:19:23,081 LOOK, SON, TALK TO ME. 423 00:19:23,082 --> 00:19:25,212 WHEN YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT DOING SOMETHING STUPID, 424 00:19:25,205 --> 00:19:26,995 COME TO YOUR FATHER, OKAY? 425 00:19:26,996 --> 00:19:29,996 I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU TO DRUGS OR ANYTHING ELSE. 426 00:19:29,999 --> 00:19:32,209 OKAY. I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING. 427 00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:34,212 I'LL NEVER SMOKE DOPE AGAIN. 428 00:19:34,214 --> 00:19:35,684 OH, REALLY? 429 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,675 YEAH. I MEAN, I HATED IT. 430 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:40,507 THINGS KEPT CHANGING, AND YOU WERE IN SLOW MOTION, 431 00:19:40,510 --> 00:19:42,890 AND -- AND I COULDN'T TALK, I COULDN'T HEAR, 432 00:19:42,892 --> 00:19:44,432 AND IT WAS TERRIFYING. 433 00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:48,484 WOW. I HEAR THAT HAPPENS EVERY TIME YOU DO IT. 434 00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:50,188 WOW. 435 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,479 AND THEN IT GETS WEIRDER AND WEIRDER. 436 00:19:52,482 --> 00:19:53,442 OH, MAN. 437 00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:55,953 YEAH. SOMETIMES THE EFFECTS... 438 00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:59,815 MAY GO...YOU GOT... FOREV...AND...GET... 439 00:20:15,134 --> 00:20:16,934 NO, MICHAEL. 440 00:20:16,926 --> 00:20:19,636 NO, NOT "SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER," PLEASE. 441 00:20:19,639 --> 00:20:21,969 NOPE. "FANTASY ISLAND." 442 00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:24,511 YOU'RE MR. ROARKE? 443 00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:27,734 [ Imitating Herve Villechaize ] NO, I'M TATTOO. 444 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:30,107 I AM TATTOO'S FANTASY -- TALL, BLACK, AND HANDSOME, 445 00:20:30,109 --> 00:20:33,109 BUT I STILL WANT TO LOOK UP YOUR DRESS, PLEASE. 446 00:20:33,112 --> 00:20:36,202 EW! EW! NO, MICHAEL, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WORK LIKE THAT. 447 00:20:36,195 --> 00:20:39,405 WHY NOT? YOU DON'T THINK I LOOK LIKE JOHN TRAVOLTA? 448 00:20:39,409 --> 00:20:41,739 I THINK YOU LOOK LIKE UNCLE BEN. 449 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,741 I FEEL LIKE HIS COUSIN, 450 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:46,463 THE DUDE FROM THE CREAM OF WHEAT BOX. 451 00:20:46,456 --> 00:20:49,126 ALL RIGHT, SO I WIN? TRUCE? 452 00:20:49,128 --> 00:20:52,128 YES. I GET TO KEEP ALL MY STUFF? 453 00:20:52,131 --> 00:20:53,711 ALL OF THEM, PLEASE, YES. 454 00:20:53,713 --> 00:20:56,723 OKAY, PACK THEM UP IN A BOX AND GET RID OF THIS GARBAGE.