HELLO!
MOMMY, MOMMY, HELP ME! CLAIRE'S TRYING TO KILL ME!
COME HERE, YOU LITTLE RUNT. WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU,
I'M GOING TO --
YOU'RE GOING TO WHAT?
SHE WAS USING MY BOBBI BROWN EYELINER
TO DRAW WITH.
I WAS COLORING,
AND I NEEDED TO MAKE THE MONSTER UGLY.
IT WORKS FOR CLAIRE.
STOP IT!
NOW WHAT DID YOUR DADDY TELL YOU
ABOUT GOING THROUGH YOUR SISTER'S THINGS?
DON'T GET CAUGHT.
HE DID.
GO UPSTAIRS.
YOU, OVER HERE.
CLAIRE,
YOU ARE 12 YEARS OLD. YOUR SISTER JUST TURNED 5.
I DON'T WANT YOU THREATENING HER LIFE
FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER THREE YEARS.
CAN I GO NOW?
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? NOTHING.
DON'T TELL ME NOTHING.
YOU'VE BEEN IN A FUNKY MOOD FOR DAYS.
I AM 12 YEARS OLD
AND YOU KEEP TREATING ME LIKE I'M A LITTLE KID.
OKAY, I'M LOST.
DID I NOT JUST TELL YOU TO ACT LIKE AN ADULT
WITH YOUR SISTER?
DO YOU KNOW THAT EVERYBODY IN MY CLASS
HAS A 9:00 WEEKEND CURFEW?
AND I HAVE TO BE IN BY 7:00, LIKE I'M A CHILD.
WELL, YOU'RE CERTAINLY ACTING LIKE A CHILD,
AREN'T YOU, CLAIRE?
HEY. HOW YOU GUYS DOING?
HI, DADDY.
WHAT, NO HUGS, NO KISS, NO BACK FLIPS?
I'M SORRY, DADDY.
NOW I FEEL LOVED.
SO DO I.
I LOVE YOU, DADDY. I LOVE YOU, TOO, BABY.
HOW ABOUT ME? GOODBYE.
WHAT ABOUT MY OTHER GIRL? COME ON, THERE'S ROOM LEFT.
STAY AWAY FROM ME.
WHAT, I CAN'T GET A HUG? NO.
CAN I SQUEEZE YOUR BUTT?
NO!
WHY NOT?
BECAUSE YOUR CHILDREN ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY.
OH, THEY'RE MY CHILDREN NOW.
YEAH, WHEN THEY ACT LIKE THIS, THEY ARE.
COME ON, BABY, GIVE ME A HUG.
NO, MICHAEL, I DON'T WANT TO. WHY NOT?
BECAUSE THEY LOOK JUST LIKE YOU.
ALL RIGHT. WHAT'S THE MATTER?
OKAY. WELL, I CAN'T SEEM TO TELL
LITTLE MISS ATTITUDE ANYTHING.
SHE THINKS SHE KNOWS IT ALL.
AND LOOK -- LOOK WHAT CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY.
YOUR SON'S LATEST TEST SCORES.
WOW, A 61. THAT'S NOT BAD.
NO, NO, BABY, NO. NO, NO.
19?
OUT OF 100?
WHAT ON EARTH COULD BE WRONG WITH THAT BOY, MICHAEL?
HE'S GOING TO HAVE TO GET AN "A" ON HIS ALGEBRA FINAL
JUST SO HE CAN AVOID SUMMER SCHOOL.
WELL, YOU KNOW, MAYBE HE'S DOING HIS BEST.
I'M SORRY. IF HE WERE DOING HIS BEST,
HE'D GET HIGHER THAN 19.
NOT IF HE'S STUPID.
HE'S NOT STUPID.
I'M NOT TALKING GEORGE W. STUPID.
I WAS TERRIBLE AT MATH. I HAVE A G.E.D.
I DIDN'T EVEN FINISH HIGH SCHOOL.
I'M SORRY, MICHAEL.
I JUST REFUSE TO BELIEVE THE BOY CAN'T LEARN.
I JUST THINK HE NEEDS TO BE MOTIVATED.
WHAT? WE TOOK THE TELEVISION OUT OF HIS ROOM.
HE CAN'T GO OUT ON SCHOOL NIGHTS.
WE EVEN TOOK ALL THE LOTION OUT OF THE BATHROOM.
WHAT ELSE IS THERE?
MICHAEL, ONE OF US IS GOING TO HAVE TO TALK TO HIM.
ONE OF US, HUH?
MM-HMM.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU CALL IT.
HEADS.
GOOD LUCK.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M JUST KEEPING IN PRACTICE.
I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY EDGE.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR MATH EDGE? WHAT ABOUT IT?
WHAT ABOUT DEVELOPING ONE?
IT'S NOT REALLY MY BAG. IT'S TOO TOUGH.
YEAH, SEE, THAT'S WHAT I TOLD YOUR MOM.
SHE THINKS IT'S 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT MOTIVATED.
BUT YOU AND I BOTH KNOW
IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT VERY BRIGHT.
YOU GOT IT, DAD.
YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW THAT?
HOW?
BECAUSE I BET IF I OFFERED YOU $1,000
TO GET AN "A" ON YOUR ALGEBRA FINAL,
IT WOULDN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
IT WOULDN'T?
NO. I MEAN, YOU'RE ALREADY DOING YOUR BEST,
AND YOU CAN'T DO BETTER THAN YOUR BEST.
WELL, I SUPPOSE I COULD TRY A LITTLE HARDER.
YOU THINK? HOW WOULD YOU DO THAT?
I COULD TRY TO FIND MY TEXTBOOK.
DO YOU THINK THAT WOULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE?
THERE'S NO HURT IN TRYING.
GOOD.
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS, DAD?
WELL, SON, YOUR FAILURE AT ALGEBRA
IS STARTING TO AFFECT MY LIFE.
IT'S MAKING YOUR MOTHER VERY UNHAPPY.
AND WHEN SHE'S UNHAPPY, I'M UNHAPPY
'CAUSE MR. HAPPY AIN'T GETTING HAPPY.
OKAY?
SO WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO
IS WE'RE GOING TO KEEP THIS DEAL TO OURSELVES
AND YOU'RE GOING TO APPLY YOURSELF.
OKAY? OKAY.
NOW I'M GOING TO PRETEND TO YELL AT YOU,
AND YOU ACT LIKE I RAKED YOU OVER THE COALS.
THESE GRADES ARE UNACCEPTABLE, MICHAEL RICHARD KYLE!
NOW YOU GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER,
OR I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR ACT IN HALF!
YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!
[ DOOR SLAMS ]
HEY, BABY. HOW WAS DANCE CLASS?
OKAY.
DID YOU LEARN ANY NEW STEPS? NO.
MONEY WELL SPENT.
I HAVE TO GO WORK ON MY SCIENCE PROJECT.
OH, I COULD HELP YOU WITH THAT.
NO, THANKS.
Michael: HEY, I'M HOME. DADDY!
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
DADDY, IT WAS GREAT.
I LEARNED THIS NEW STEP AT DANCE CLASS,
AND I HAVE THIS AWESOME SCIENCE PROJECT.
COULD YOU HELP ME WITH IT? I'D LOVE TO.
Y-YOU GO AHEAD, CLAIRE. YOUR FATHER AND I
HAVE A FEW THINGS WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT.
I LOVE YOU, DADDY. I LOVE YOU, TOO, BABY.
THAT'S A GREAT KID, HUH?
YEAH, WHEN SHE'S ASLEEP.
I LIKED HER BETTER THE FIRST NINE MONTHS
WHEN SHE COULDN'T TALK.
DID YOU SEE HER SHOVE ME OUT OF THE WAY
JUST SO SHE COULD GET TO YOU FIRST?
YEAH. IF YOU WOULD HAVE BOXED HER OUT...
YOU GOT TO LEARN HOW TO POST UP.
I CAN'T TALK TO HER LATELY, MICHAEL.
IT'S LIKE I'M CHARLIE BROWN'S TEACHER.
WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH.
AND I KNOW SHE HEARS ME TALKING.
JUST THE WORDS AREN'T GETTING THROUGH, MICHAEL.
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU TRY A MORE INDIRECT APPROACH?
DO SOMETHING FUN WITH HER, TAKE HER SHOPPING, YOU KNOW.
AND THEN IF YOU GOT SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT,
JUST CASUALLY BRING IT UP.
YOU KNOW, THAT'S ACTUALLY NOT A BAD IDEA.
UH, HELLO. I'M ONLY HER DAD.
MAYBE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
DO YOU KNOW THAT JUNIOR HAS BEEN LOCKED UP IN HIS ROOM
WITH HIS TEXTBOOK SINCE HE CAME HOME FROM SCHOOL?
WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM?
HONEY, I CAN'T GIVE AWAY
MY SECRET MOTIVATIONAL TECHNIQUES.
COME ON, MICHAEL, STOP PLAYING.
I'M LIKE THE BLACK TONY ROBBINS. PLEASE.
I'M TONY! TONI! TONé! ROBBINS.
DADDY, I WANT A $1,000 DEAL, TOO.
BABY, WAIT, WAIT. WHAT WAS THAT?
DADDY'S GIVING JUNIOR $1,000 IF HE GETS AN "A."
SECRET MOTIVATIONAL TECHNIQUES?
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL IF IT WORKS?
THE BIG DEAL --
THE BIG DEAL, MICHAEL, IS IT'S JUST WRONG.
HE SHOULD WANT TO DO WELL
WITHOUT MONEY AS AN INCENTIVE.
WHY? BECAUSE I WANT HIM TO LEARN MATH
FOR THE LOVE OF LEARNING.
WHY? SO HE COULD GET A GOOD JOB.
AND WHY? SO HE CAN MAKE A LOT OF MONEY.
I REST MY CASE.
DON'T TWIST THIS.
BRIBING HIM IS NOT THE WAY TO GET HIM TO ACHIEVE.
LOOK, BABY, HERE'S HOW I SEE IT.
YOU PAY HIM THE FIRST TIME,
AND THEN ONCE HE REALIZES HE CAN DO IT,
HE'S SET HIS OWN STANDARDS. NOW HE HAS NO EXCUSES.
WELL, I DON'T LIKE IT, AND I'M TOTALLY AGAINST IT.
DID I TELL YOU HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU LOOK TODAY?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WHEN YOU PUT YOUR HEAD DOWN LIKE THAT, OH, MY GOD.
REALLY? STOP IT.
OH, OUCH!
OUCH!
YOU LIKE IT WHEN I DO LIKE THIS? MMM. IT IS SO SEXY.
OH, BABY. FIX THIS THING WITH JUNIOR,
AND YOU MIGHT SEE IT AGAIN.
HEY. I'M NOT INTERRUPTING YOUR STUDIES, AM I?
NO. WHAT'S THE MATTER?
DAD, I FEEL LIKE THE STUPIDEST PERSON
ON THE PLANET.
IT'S LIKE THE INFORMATION GETS TO MY BRAIN,
THEN IT JUST STOPS.
I MEAN, I CAN'T GET IT PAST MY EYES.
AND I HATE DISAPPOINTING YOU AND MOM,
BUT ALGEBRA'S A MYSTERY TO ME.
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, SON, I DIDN'T GET IT, EITHER.
I WAS NEVER GOOD AT MATH.
SO WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
I'VE GOT FINALS COMING UP.
WELL, I'D LIKE TO TAKE ONE MORE STAB
AT TRYING TO UNLOCK THAT ALGEBRA DOOR INSIDE YOUR HEAD.
I DON'T THINK ANYBODY LIVES BEHIND THE ALGEBRA DOOR.
YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT,
BUT IF MONEY DOESN'T MOTIVATE YOU,
THERE'S ONLY ONE OTHER THING THAT MIGHT.
HI, I'M DANIELLE, THE TUTOR. YOU MUST BE JUNIOR.
OH, HI, DANIELLE. HI, MICHAEL.
GOOD TO SEE YOU. THIS IS MY WIFE JAY.
THAT'S DANIELLE.
HI, PLEASED TO MEET YOU. SO, UH, MICHAEL,
WHERE DO YOU KNOW DANIELLE FROM?
REMEMBER MY OLD MATH TEACHER MISS JACKSON?
THIS IS HER DAUGHTER.
OH!
MY MOTHER STILL COUNTS YOU AS HER BIGGEST FAILURE.
SHE TRIED BEATING MATH INTO ME,
AND EVEN THOUGH I NEVER LEARNED IT,
SHE NEVER GAVE UP, AND SHE ALWAYS GAVE ME MY PRIDE.
WELL, I PLAN TO GIVE IT TO LITTLE JUNIOR. UNH.
SO, UM, WHERE SHOULD WE DO IT?
HUH?
THE TUTORING. WHERE CAN WE WORK?
HOW ABOUT MY ROOM?
HOW ABOUT NOT?
THE KITCHEN MIGHT BE BETTER SUITED.
DANIELLE, CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING?
OH, NO, THANKS. I'M FINE.
OH, YES, YOU ARE.
LET'S GET TO WORK.
Michael: HEY.
STUDY HARD, SON.
WAY AHEAD OF YOU.
OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
OUR SON NEEDS HELP IN ALGEBRA, NOT WONDERBRA.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH A LITTLE EXTRA MOTIVATION?
ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME
THAT THE BETTER-LOOKING YOUR TEACHER IS,
THE HARDER YOU WORK?
HELL, YES.
I NEVER FORGOT SPANISH. YOU KNOW WHY?
WHY?
SU BUSTO ENORME ME ENCANTABA.
WHAT DID THAT MEAN?
I WAS ENCHANTED BY HER ENORMOUS BREASTS.
HEY, JUNIOR, STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR FOOD.
I'M NOT PLAYING.
I'M GOING OVER MY ALGEBRA FORMULAS.
REALLY? LET'S CHECK THE PROGRESS.
LET'S SEE.
IF MINUS 5 TIMES 7 PLUS "R" MINUS 4
EQUALS NEGATIVE 30, WHAT DOES "R" EQUAL?
9.
HMM.
IS THAT RIGHT?
YEAH.
I'VE GOT TO GO.
AREN'T YOU GOING TO BE A LITTLE EARLY FOR SCHOOL?
I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE
TO GET THERE TILL THE VERY LAST MINUTE.
WELL, I GOT TO STOP AND PICK UP
A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR DANIELLE.
YOU KNOW, FOR HELPING ME OUT.
ISN'T THIS GREAT? HE'S LEARNING ALGEBRA.
HE'S FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THAT WOMAN, MICHAEL.
NO, IT'S JUST A LITTLE CRUSH.
DO YOU THINK HE KNOWS THAT, MICHAEL?
IF IT HELPS HIM WITH THE ALGEBRA,
WHAT DOES IT MATTER?
OH, SO THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS --
MY SON PASSING ALGEBRA. IT DOESN'T MATTER IF MY SON
GETS HIS HEART BROKEN ALONG THE WAY.
LOOK, YOU SAID YOU WANTED HIM TO DO WELL IN MATH.
HE'S DOING WELL IN MATH. THERE'S A TRADEOFF.
THE GOOD NEWS IS HE'S GOING TO PASS HIS ALGEBRA FINAL.
YEAH, BUT FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS.
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
SOME OF THE GREATEST SUCCESS STORIES
IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD HAS BEEN BECAUSE SOME GUY
WAS TRYING TO IMPRESS A WOMAN.
IS THAT RIGHT? YEAH.
LOOK AT HENRY FORD.
HE INVENTED THE AUTOMOBILE SO HE COULD PICK UP CHICKS.
EVERYBODY ELSE IS RIDING AROUND ON A STINKING HORSE,
HE PULLS UP IN A BRAND-NEW SHINY AUTOMOBILE, HE SAYS,
"HEY, BABY, YOU WANT TO RIDE?
"I'LL GET YOU THERE IN HALF THE TIME.
YOU WON'T HAVE TO SMELL HORSE BUTT ALL THE WAY."
HA HA HA.
THIS IS FUN, ISN'T IT?
ACTUALLY, IT IS.
I WISH I WOULD HAVE DONE THIS KIND OF STUFF
WITH MY MOTHER.
WHY DIDN'T YOU?
WELL, BECAUSE I WAS TOO BUSY
BEING HOSTILE AND ANGRY TOWARDS HER
AND DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHY.
ALL I KNEW WAS EVERYTHING SHE SAID
AND EVERYTHING SHE DID WAS WRONG.
WELL, THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR.
SEE, BUT THE WAY SHE HANDLED IT
WAS TO WHUP MY BUTT,
WHICH I PROBABLY WOULDN'T DO TO YOU
'CAUSE OF ALL THESE WITNESSES.
LOOK, HERE'S THE THING.
I BARELY SPOKE TO MY MOTHER FOR SEVEN YEARS.
NOW, I'M NOT SAYING THAT WE NEED
TO BE ALL LOVEY-DOVEY AND ALL THAT,
BUT I WANT US TO BE CIVIL TOWARDS ONE ANOTHER.
LOOK AT ME, CLAIRE.
I DON'T LIKE WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
BUT, MOM, I HAVEN'T BEEN DOING IT ON PURPOSE.
IT'S JUST, IT'S A LOT OF STUFF GOING ON
THAT I DON'T THINK YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND.
CLAIRE...TRY ME.
EVERYTHING'S CHANGING, MOM.
I MEAN, SOME OF MY FRIENDS
STILL ACT LIKE THEY'RE LITTLE KIDS
AND SOME OF THEM ARE PRETENDING TO BE GROWNUPS,
AND I'M JUST RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE.
CLAIRE, I'VE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE
AND I KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING.
LOOK, PRETTY SOON YOU
AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE GOING TO BE PRETENDING
TO BE GROWN UP,
BUT THERE'S ONE THING THAT WON'T CHANGE --
I'LL ALWAYS BE ON YOUR SIDE.
BUT, MOM, YOU'RE THE PERSON
THAT'S ALWAYS SAYING NO TO ME.
THAT'S BECAUSE I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND, CLAIRE,
I'M YOUR MOTHER.
WELL, IS THERE ANYTHING WE'RE EVER GOING TO AGREE ON?
OH, HI, HONEY.
HEY, DADDY.
HILARIOUS. YOU KNOW WHAT?
I SAY WE DO THIS EVERY WEEK.
COOL. NEXT WEEK, LET'S TRY PINK.
PINK? YES, PINK.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT PINK. ORANGE.
TWO TRAINS LEAVE CHICAGO AND NEW YORK
MOVING TOWARDS EACH OTHER.
I'M ON THE TRAIN FROM CHICAGO
AND WE'RE MOVING AT 40 MILES AN HOUR.
YOU'RE ON THE TRAIN FROM NEW YORK.
IT'S TRAVELING AT 60 MILES AN HOUR.
THE DISTANCE BETWEEN CHICAGO AND NEW YORK IS 1,000 MILES.
HOW LONG AFTER -- 10 HOURS.
YOU ARE GOING TO ACE THAT FINAL EXAM TOMORROW.
THANKS TO YOU.
WELL, I THINK WE'RE ALL DONE HERE.
DONE? WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE TRAINS
GET TO THE STATION AND I GET OFF MY TRAIN
AND YOU GET OFF YOUR TRAIN?
WHAT, WE JUST GO OUR SEPARATE WAYS?
THAT'S NOT RIGHT.
JUNIOR, YOU KNOW AS MUCH ABOUT ALGEBRA
AS I CAN TEACH YOU.
BUT THERE'S SO MUCH OTHER STUFF TO LEARN, LIKE...
[ Deep voice ] WHAT TYPE OF GUYS DO YOU LIKE, BABY?
I LIKE SMART GUYS, JUNIOR,
THE KIND OF GUY YOU'RE GOING TO BE
IF YOU APPLY YOURSELF.
BUT I WANT TO APPLY MYSELF TO YOU, DANIELLE.
I LOVE YOU,
AND I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU.
OH, JUNIOR, I LOVE YOU, TOO.
NO, NO. THAT'S THE TONE MY GRANDMOTHER USES.
SEE, ILOVEYOU.
I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES.
I MEAN...
IT'S NOT ME YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH.
IT'S LEARNING, AND THAT'S A WONDERFUL PASSION.
DON'T LOSE IT.
OH, I FEEL PASSION EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT YOU.
WALK ME TO THE DOOR.
I CAN'T.
YOU ARE A VERY SWEET
AND VERY SMART BOY, JUNIOR.
GOOD LUCK.
OKAY, CLASS, YOU'LL HAVE ONE HOUR
TO COMPLETE THIS EXAM.
SOME OF YOU WILL GET THE OPPORTUNITY
TO TAKE A SECOND STAB AT IT THIS SUMMER.
YOU MAY BEGIN NOW.
OH, MAN, DON'T TELL ME.
YOU FAILED YOUR TEST.
NO, I ACED IT.
GET OUT OF HERE. THAT'S WONDERFUL.
SON, I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT.
THANKS, DAD.
SEE, I TOLD YOU HIS HEART
WAS GOING TO BE BROKEN.
YEAH, AND I TOLD YOU HE'D LEARN ALGEBRA.
I HATE SEEING HIM LIKE THIS, MICHAEL.
YEAH, WELL, I HATE SEEING HIM LIKE THIS, TOO,
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? LIFE IS TOUGH.
AND IF HE LEARNED SOMETHING ABOUT HIMSELF
AND IT TOOK A LITTLE HURT TO GET THERE,
THEN SO BE IT.
YOU MAY BE ABLE TO PULL OFF ALL THIS TOUGH LOVE STUFF,
BUT I'M HIS MOTHER
AND I HATE TO SEE MY BOY IN PAIN.
ALL RIGHT. CALL IT.
TAILS.
HA HA HA! HEE HEE!
HOW DO YOU DO THAT?
WHOO!
♪ SHE'S OUT OF MY LIFE ♪
♪ SHE'S OUT OF MY... ♪
[ CRIES ]
♪ LIFE ♪
SON, THERE'S MORE WORDS TO THE SONG
THAN "SHE'S OUT OF MY LIFE."
NOT TO ME, THERE AREN'T.
LOOK, I'M SORRY YOU'RE HURTING.
DAD, YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
YES, I DO.
I KIND OF FIGURED THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN.
THEN WHY DID YOU INTRODUCE ME TO HER?
WHAT, YOU COULDN'T FIND SOME OLD FAT LADY
WITH A MUSTACHE AND BODY ODOR?
YEAH, BUT YOUR MOTHER'S SISTER WAS UNAVAILABLE.
AND YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE LEARNED ALGEBRA,
AND YOU SURE WOULDN'T HAVE LEARNED HOW TO BE A MAN.
I HAVEN'T LEARNED HOW TO BE A MAN.
YES, YOU DID.
SEE, A MAN HAS TO LEARN TO CONTROL HIS EMOTIONS
BECAUSE SOONER OR LATER
HE'S GOING TO FALL FOR A WOMAN HE CAN'T HAVE.
TELL ME THE TRUTH, DAD.
DO YOU THINK I'D EVER HAVE A SHOT WITH DANIELLE?
TRUTH? YEAH.
NO.
BUT I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU.
I'M PROUD OF MY BOY 'CAUSE I KNOW HE WASN'T
SITTING IN FRONT OF HER WHINING, "I LOVE YOU.
I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU."
NAH, I WASN'T DOING NOTHING LIKE THAT.
GOOD, 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO ME
WITH MISS ESCUELVEL.
OH, MAN. I MADE A FOOL OUT OF MYSELF.
SHE LAUGHED AND TOLD THE WHOLE CLASS.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
I NEVER FORGOT SPANISH.
YOU KNOW WHY?
TE AMO. YO NO PUEDO VIVIR SIN USTED.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
[ Crying ] I LOVE YOU.
I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU.
I'M SORRY, MICHAEL.
Director: ACTION!
I'M SORRY, MICHAEL. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE
THAT THE BOY CAN'T LEAR-- HA HA HA.