0
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,600
My Boss's Daughter (2003)
Comedy / Romance [MXG]

1
00:00:03,700 --> 00:00:06,700
(. "If I Had $ 1000000" 
 by Barenaked Ladies))

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00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:27,300
You know, you ever heard 
 someone say that old expression,

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00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:32,000
"Everything happens for a reason"? 
 Well, I don't think that applies to me.

4
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I mean, I spend every morning 
 rushing to work

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trying to catch the same subway 
 to the same lousy job.

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What's the reason for that?

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See, I'm a researcher for one of the 
 biggest publishing houses in Chicago,

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but where I really belong is in Creative.

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The problem is, is my boss doesn't 
 know it yet, so I'm totally frustrated.

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While my friend Paul keeps telling me,

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"You gotta be optimistic. 
 You gotta be positive. "

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OK. OK. You know what?

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Today is gonna be my lucky day. 
 Today is gonna be my...

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- Aah! 
 - Oh! Wow!

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- Hey, look at that, It's your lucky day, 
 - Did you just see that?

16
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Oh, I've seen it a million times,

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- You want it? 
 - No,

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I don't want it, Go ahead, 
 You got a new briefcase,

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Yeah, maybe its got a name 
 on it or something,

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- Oh, come... What are you, nuts? 
 - What?

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- You're gonna return it? 
 - Yeah,

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Did you not just say 
 you needed a new one?

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Yeah, when I get my raise,

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Haven't you been working 
 there for, like, a year?

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I bet Taylor doesn't even know 
 you work there, I'd be pissed,

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- Are you pissed? I'd be pissed, 
 - Yeah, I'm-I'm a little pissed,

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You know, come to think of it, 
 I've never really seen you angry before,

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Henderson, you ever 
 seen Tom really angry?

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- No, 
 - All right, fine, So I don't get angry,

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What is that, a bad thing?

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It's, you know, you keep it bottled up 
 and then sooner or later,

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you come into work and you mow 
 everyone down with one of those...

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- AK-47, 
 - AK-47, You know, just to impress, uh...

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- Jodie Foster, 
 - Jodie Foster,

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(chuckles)) All right, I'll do it 
 on your day off, all right?

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(Paul) Touché, There she is, 
 It's your Jodie Foster,

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Paul, come on, man,

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How you ever gonna get 
 to know her if you just sit there?

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It's Taylor's daughter, man, I can't just...

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You can't just what? Huh? Are you 
 gonna be a loser your whole life? Hmm?

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Just go over there 
 and talk to her, Go, Go,

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- OK, fine, I'm going, I'm going, 
 - You're going,

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Excuse me,

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Aah!

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(baby crying))

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(mouthing))

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Hi, I'm--

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Ah...

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I-- Oh!

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Uh... I-- He wa--

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Oh,

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(dog growling))

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Oh! Uh...

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- What are you doing to my dog? 
 - Ma'am...

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- Who's taunting my dog? 
 - No one's taunting your dog, He--

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Oh! Uh...

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Um, the-the d-- Um...

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Here, why don't you take my seat? Here,

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Great, Now, that's great,

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Two more minutes, and I'm gonna 
 be closer than you are,

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Look, Opening, Go,

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Just go,

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Go, Go,

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It's OK, Go, just go,

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(conductor) Lake Street. 
 Lake Street is next.

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You're Tom Stansfield, right? 
 From Research?

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Yeah, Yeah, Tom, Tom Stansfield,

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Stansfield from Research,

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It's a growing sport, you know?

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Paul, there is no way that she thought 
 that it was a wrestling magazine,

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Oh, come on, Get over it, OK?

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You're a little embarrassed, 
 It happens, OK?

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Let me tell you something, 
 If I had a dime for every time

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a gay naked magazine fell out of my... 
 I'm kidding, I'm kidding,

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What? Paul!

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No, But seriously, 
 so you're a little humiliated,

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At least now we've established 
 that she knows who you are, right?

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- I'm gonna have to leave the company, 
 - No, you're not,

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Oh, God, There she is,

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Oh, and I need to see the proofs 
 on Thailand immediately,

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All right, What else have we got?

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- Are you Tom? 
 - Yes,

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- Mr, Taylor wants to see you, 
 - Oh... OK,

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OK,

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OK, you see? This is your chance, This 
 is fate, This is what I'm talking about,

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It's about that new opening in Creative 
 and you're the man for the job,

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You're gonna go in there and you're 
 gonna pitch him those book ideas,

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No, I just... I'm really not ready,

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Let's get to business, 
 Now we're steppin' up, OK,

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Come on, You're gonna go in there, 
 you're gonna pitch him an inside curve...

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Wait, wait, Where is my blue folder?

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You don't need it, Enough with 
 the excuses already, Come here,

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- You look good, You feel good? 
 - I feel like I'm gonna throw up,

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Well, that's good, 
 I want you to use that, OK?

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What is this? This dad's? 
 It's nice, Now get in there, OK?

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- Don't-don't touch my ass, 
 - What? It was a light spank, It was light,

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- Hey, 
 - Hey,

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- Uh, do I just go in there? 
 - Um, no, He's not finished yet,

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- but you can have a seat over there, 
 - Oh, OK,

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Let me explain something 
 to you, Henderson,

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I did not dislike your ideas, 
 I found them loathsome,

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I hated them,

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- You're dismissed, 
 - From your office?

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Nice try,

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- Good luck, You're gonna need it... 
 - He's ready to see you,

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You can come in,

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You know what? We should have 
 never let up after the Revolution!

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Sit down, Sit down, Coffee?

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We shouldn't have left you at toehold, 
 We should have driven you to the sea!

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Now... what's this I hear 
 about you making threats

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to spray this place with an AK-47?

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What?

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Oh, oh, oh, No, That... 
 I was just making a joke,

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Oh, that's funny to you? 
 Killing everyone in this office?

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No, No, No, no, no, no, The... 
 Paul said how I never get angry...

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And what about you 
 making fun of midgets?

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I never made fun of midgets,

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You said it'd be fun to date one

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because then you could rest 
 your beer on her head,

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No, No, I never said anything like that,

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Apparently Henderson thinks you did,

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Now I've got a good sense of humor, 
 but that's just plain sick,

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- But, sir, I didn't say... 
 - Audrey?

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- Which file did I ask you for? 
 - Uh, the Platt file?

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- John Platt, Not Sam Platt, 
 - I'm sorry, I guess I didn't think that...

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That's right, You didn't think,

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Now if it's not too much trouble, 
 if you could fetch me the right file...

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- OK, 
 - And get Tom and me some doughnuts,

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OK,

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Now... I'm told you've been trying 
 to schedule a meeting with me

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about some ideas, What are they?

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Oh, uh... yeah, I had-l had some ideas,

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- Something wrong with the coffee? 
 - Uh, no, It's fine,

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- Why'd you make a face? 
 - What?

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Oh, well... It's-it's a little bitter, but...

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- Jesus, Audrey, get in here! 
 - Sir, really, it's f... It's not a problem,

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- I've burped up stuff better than this, 
 - Sir, it's fine,

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- Is something wrong? 
 - Taste Tom's coffee,

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No, really, It's OK,

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- How would you rate that? 
 - Well, it's not that great,

141
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Not that great? I guess so, 
 Tom thinks it's shit,

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Audrey, are you retarded?

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It's not a rhetorical question, 
 Are you retarded?

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No, I'm not retarded,

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Because a retarded person can make 
 a cup of coffee, Am I right, Tom?

146
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,900
Oh, I... I don't-I don't really know much

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about the limitations 
 of the handicapped,

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I know of an employment agency that 
 hires out retarded people for $4 an hour,

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So, if making a cup of coffee is too 
 difficult a task for you, Miss Bennett,

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perhaps you'd be good enough to let 
 me know, and I'll contact this agency

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and give a retarded person a job,

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(mouths)) Wow,

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- I wasn't too rough on her, was l? 
 - Well, she is new and all,

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Maybe I was out of line, But do you 
 understand what I'm dealing with?

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I mean, here I am trying 
 to fill a position in Creative,

156
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and I can't seem to find one person 
 responsible enough to earn my trust,

157
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I sometimes wonder if anyone here 
 even knows what they're doing,

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I can understand how you 
 could see it that way, sir, but...

159
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So you don't think I was out of line?

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Well, if what you're saying 
 is that a company

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is only as strong as its weakest link, 
 that makes sense, but...

162
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,400
Exactly, That's exactly right,

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A company is only as strong 
 as its weakest link,

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- Yeah... 
 - Audrey, get in here!

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00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,900
You were right, Tom, 
 I was too soft on her,

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- What? No, 
 - Yeah?

167
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,200
Audrey, after talking it over 
 with Tom here,

168
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,300
I've come to realize that 
 I'm gonna have to let you go,

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- You're firing me?! 
 - I'm sorry, It's just not working out,

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- But, sir, I was suggesting... 
 - I take my job very seriously,

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A chain is only as strong 
 as its weakest link,

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- Right, but there's a whole other side, 
 - Thanks for the support,

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Audrey, empty out your desk 
 by the end of the day,

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- Fine, 
 - Sir, this... I...

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Thanks for straightening me 
 out there, Tom,

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00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,200
Right, right, But I didn't get to say 
 what I wanted to say,

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Oh, your ideas, of course, Schedule 
 an appointment with my new secretary,

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Tom, Are you OK?

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00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:58,200
Uh... yeah, sure,

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00:09:58,300 --> 00:10:00,200
I'm guessing by the way 
 you look he's on another one

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00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,600
of his rampages this morning,

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00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,900
- Definitely, 
 - Damn,

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00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:05,400
I was hoping to catch him 
 in a good mood,

184
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:09,600
Yeah, that's, um... 
 that's probably not gonna happen,

185
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:12,300
I'm supposed to go to this party tonight, 
 but my dad's making me housesit

186
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,400
for his stupid bird while 
 he's away this weekend,

187
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:17,100
Well, why don't you go in there 
 and tell him you're not gonna do it?

188
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,900
I can't just...

189
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:22,200
You can't just what? I mean, live your 
 own life and have a free weekend?

190
00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:25,200
No, it's not that,

191
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:29,200
- Wait, it is that, 
 - Yeah,

192
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:33,000
- I should just go to that party, 
 - Yeah, of course,

193
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:38,600
Well, um... OK, I'm gonna 
 go back to, uh, work,

194
00:10:38,700 --> 00:10:40,800
OK, sure,

195
00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:44,600
Tom? I know this might seem 
 a little out of place

196
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,600
because we barely 
 even know each other,

197
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:49,300
But, do you have any plans tonight?

198
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,000
(mouths)) No, no, no,

199
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:56,500
- Uh... no, I'm-I'm wide open, 
 - We won't be home too late,

200
00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:57,800
Hey, it's no problem,

201
00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,900
So the party starts at 7, 
 You could be at my dad's house by 6?

202
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,700
- Sure, 
 - You sure you're cool with this?

203
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:05,900
- Are you kidding me? 
 - Tom, you're such a sweetheart,

204
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,800
Thank you so much, 
 I'm gonna love you forever for this,

205
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:14,800
- All right, Yeah, who's the man now? 
 - See? What'd I tell you?

206
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,700
(chuckles)) I'm a lady-killer,

207
00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:25,100
How the hell could he be 
 so excited about housesitting?

208
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:29,400
He's nice, Daddy, That's how, 
 Most guys wouldn't even offer to do that,

209
00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:32,100
I don't know if I want him 
 around my bird,

210
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:36,200
Oh, Dad, will you just relax? 
 It's gonna be fine, I promise, OK?

211
00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:40,000
I'll check in as soon as I get there, 8:00,

212
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:43,400
If I sense anything's wrong, 
 you're coming back here,

213
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:45,500
OK, OK,

214
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,400
(. light rock)

215
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:35,300
Very good, Right on time,

216
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:40,300
Oh, sir, Uh... Hey, is that a bear trap?

217
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:44,700
Yes, It's to keep the neighbor's kids 
 out of my yard,

218
00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:56,700
Sir, I just wanted to let you know 
 how much I appreciate you...

219
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,400
well... letting tonight happen,

220
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:05,100
I mean, I know it means a lot to Lisa, 
 and I think you're doing the right thing,

221
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,600
I don't know what 
 you're planning, Stansfield,

222
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:11,200
but you're attitude 
 is making me very nervous,

223
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,400
- Those socks are clean, right? 
 - Um...

224
00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:21,500
- You hesitated, Put those on, 
 - Are you serious?

225
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:34,400
If you want to watch TV, 
 the remote's there,

226
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:37,500
That panel controls the lights, 
 alarm, skylight, etc,

227
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,200
Yeah, I probably won't 
 use any of that stuff,

228
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:42,500
- You know, since the party starts at 7, 
 - Party?

229
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:46,300
I made it clear to Lisa you're not 
 to have any guests in here,

230
00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:49,700
You're the only one 
 allowed in the house,

231
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:55,600
- What? Lisa's not here? 
 - No, Of course not,

232
00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:59,700
Lisa's at the party...

233
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,500
and I'm staying here,

234
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:07,600
Is this concept too complicated 
 for you, Stansfield?

235
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,900
Don't touch the furniture,

236
00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:19,100
And this is my bird's room,

237
00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:22,500
(chuckles)) He's got his own room?

238
00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:27,200
That's cool,

239
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:33,400
- (gasps)) 
 - How's my little boy?

240
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:38,600
- This is OJ, 
 - OJ? Like the murderer?

241
00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:43,700
No, Like the football player, 
 OJ Simpson,

242
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:47,000
I've set the alarm, 
 When you hear it go off, feed him,

243
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,900
- (mice squeaking)) 
 - Aw, What do I feed these little guys?

244
00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:57,000
They don't get fed, They are the food, 
 His diet varies, but they're his favorites,

245
00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:59,700
Hey, don't you have to shut these doors?

246
00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:03,400
Not anymore, He's been depressed 
 since his mate died,

247
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:07,500
He won't fly, Just sits in his cage,

248
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:15,200
Medication, Give him two 
 of these at 1 0:00,

249
00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:17,400
I have to shove these down his throat?

250
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:21,100
Just one, The other is inserted 
 into his rectum,

251
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,200
Don't worry, It's not 
 too unpleasant for him,

252
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:28,500
- He doesn't bite, does he? 
 - No, Not unless you taunt him,

253
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,000
You're not planning on taunting him, 
 are you, Tom?

254
00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:31,600
- No, 
 - I mean, that'd be really sick,

255
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,000
No, of course not,

256
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:38,200
And the most important thing, 
 make sure he gets a pint of water,

257
00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:40,600
The medication tends to dry him out 
 and then he can't breathe,

258
00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:42,900
- OK, 
 - Well, I must be off,

259
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:46,100
- Henderson should be waiting outside, 
 - Henderson? I thought you fired him,

260
00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:48,200
Because his ideas were stupid? 
 Of course not,

261
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:50,200
He's gonna drive me to the train station,

262
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:53,900
So, you can leave as soon 
 as Lisa and Hans get back,

263
00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:56,300
- Hans? 
 - Lisa's boyfriend,

264
00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:01,500
So remember, uh... water in the bowl, 
 medication, and...

265
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:05,700
anything happens to this house 
 while I'm gone, I'll kill you,

266
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,900
(door shuts))

267
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,400
(Paul over phone)) You're housesitting? 
 You gotta be kidding me.

268
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:13,600
(Tom)) I know, it sucks,

269
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,600
What are you talking about? 
 Don't you see? This is a test.

270
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,000
You watch Taylor's house, 
 come up with a couple of great ideas

271
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:21,000
and if everything goes smooth, 
 you get the promotion.

272
00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:24,100
- You think so? 
 - Of course I do. What could be easier?

273
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,000
(crackles))

274
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:29,100
(. "Not What I Wanted" by Evan Olson))

275
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:44,000
(Lisa giggling)) What are you 
 doing, Hans? Come here.

276
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:48,600
Baby, you're gonna burn so bad if you 
 don't let me put this on you right now.

277
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:58,400
Oh, my God. You scared me, Hans. 
 You're insane. Put that down.

278
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:03,700
Want to put some on me? 
 Put some lotion on me.

279
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:14,200
- Is Jack around? 
 - Hey... what? Who are you?

280
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:18,300
It's OK, I'm Red Taylor, I'm Jack's son, 
 I let myself in the back,

281
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,400
- Oh, Hey, Tom Stansfield, 
 - Hey,

282
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:24,000
Tom, nice to meet you, 
 Am I interrupting something here?

283
00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:29,300
Oh, no, Uh... I was... uh... 
 Oh, your shoes,

284
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:33,600
Nike, Uh, listen, Tom, can you 
 do me a favor? I lost my TV Guide.

285
00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:37,700
I came over here to see if maybe 
 my dad's got a copy of one,

286
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,300
You haven't seen a copy of 
 the guide laying around, have you?

287
00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:43,100
- My sister in? 
 - No, actually she's out for the evening,

288
00:17:43,100 --> 00:17:46,700
- Bingo, (chuckles)) 
 - Oh,

289
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:50,500
So, uh, you're here to...

290
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,400
- Housesit, 
 - Oh,

291
00:17:54,300 --> 00:17:59,100
Yeah, it's probably for the best if you 
 don't, uh, tell Lisa that I stopped by,

292
00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:03,300
- Why? Is there a problem? 
 - Well, you know how uptight she is,

293
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:06,400
- Really? 
 - I'm more the free spirit of the family,

294
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:12,200
Oh, Oh, boy, See that right there?

295
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:15,300
- Kirstie Alley? 
 - Yeah, I dated her maid,

296
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,400
- Really? 
 - I boned Kirstie Alley's maid,

297
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:22,300
And this is while they were 
 making Look Who's Talking ,

298
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,200
Wow, that's really something,

299
00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:27,100
I'll tell you another thing, 
 You know Michelle Pfeiffer?

300
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,200
Yeah,

301
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:31,300
I did the deed 
 with Michelle Pfeiffer's cousin,

302
00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:33,400
- Wow, 
 - Right out there in those bushes,

303
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,800
- Right, 
 - Ah, she looked just like Michelle, too,

304
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,900
except she was brunette 
 instead of blond,

305
00:18:37,900 --> 00:18:40,400
and she was kinda short and dumpy,

306
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:44,000
Well, uh, ya certainly have 
 an interesting life, Fred,

307
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:46,200
You married, Tom?

308
00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:48,900
- No, I'm single, 
 - No girlfriend?

309
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,900
No, and, no, actually I had a girlfriend, 
 but we, uh, broke up,

310
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,300
- Ah, 
 - Ah,

311
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:58,500
Listen, I really gotta get back to work, 
 and since you got your TV Guide and...

312
00:18:58,500 --> 00:19:03,000
So, you broke up, huh? That's too bad,

313
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,800
- Was your ex a looker? 
 - Yeah,

314
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,000
Yeah, in my opinion she was,

315
00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:11,500
I bet you you still keep a picture 
 of her in your wallet,

316
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,200
- Yeah, I do, 
 - Can I see it?

317
00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:15,900
- Yeah, I suppose, 
 - OK,

318
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,800
Let me find her in here, There she is,

319
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:22,800
(laughing)) Oh! 
 Tom, you lucky man!

320
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:26,100
- Yeah, 
 - Oh, she is a real piece of ass!

321
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:29,600
Oh, I could knock on that back door 
 all day long!

322
00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:32,200
- Yeah? Sh-she's a pretty girl, 
 - Wow,

323
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,200
She has gotta be wicked in bed, 
 Tell me she's wicked in bed, Tom,

324
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,500
I bet you she banged your johnson raw 
 every single night,

325
00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:39,300
- OK... 
 - ...'cause that is one fine-looking broad,

326
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,000
All right, Hey! Would ya--

327
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:44,500
I me-- You're talking about my girlfriend,

328
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:48,100
- Ex-girlfriend, you said, 
 - Yeah, but still, it's...

329
00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:51,600
Come on, I'm just making conversation, 
 You know, guy-talk,

330
00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:54,300
Look, I just... I don't tell comfortable

331
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:58,100
talking about my intimate relationships 
 with a complete stranger,

332
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,300
Understood,

333
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,700
Well, you know, given how uptight 
 you are talking about sex,

334
00:20:03,700 --> 00:20:05,500
you pretty much 
 answered the question,

335
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:07,900
I am not uptight! OK?

336
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,200
Just because I don't feel like 
 revealing personal details

337
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:15,100
about my ex-girlfriend's sexual habits 
 does not make me uptight,

338
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,700
I didn't ask you anything personal,

339
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,700
Well, then, what the hell 
 do you consider personal?

340
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:24,400
Well, it'd be like, you know, 
 if I asked you how big your rod was,

341
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:27,100
Then I would be out of line, 1 00%%%,

342
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:31,800
No, no! That is no worse than 
 asking me if my girlfriend's a nymph,

343
00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:34,600
I just asked you if she dug sex,

344
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:37,100
Besides, I wouldn't have asked 
 if I'd known she was frigid,

345
00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:39,700
Yeah, well, she is not frigid!

346
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,700
Are you leaving?

347
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,200
Oh, yeah,

348
00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:45,400
And listen, Could you do me a favor?

349
00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:47,000
- It's no big deal, 
 - What?

350
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:50,700
A business associate of my dad's 
 is gonna come by to pick this up,

351
00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:55,900
- It's frozen steaks, it's a gift, 
 - It's not cold,

352
00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:00,600
Dad says that's the way the guy 
 likes 'em, What are you gonna do?

353
00:21:00,700 --> 00:21:02,500
Will you give it to him?

354
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:04,700
(doorbell)

355
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:06,800
Just one second,

356
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,800
(doorbell)

357
00:21:13,500 --> 00:21:14,900
- Audrey, 
 - Tom,

358
00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:16,400
(man)) Let's go! Come on!

359
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,500
Oh, I guess this makes sense, 
 He's got you living with him now?

360
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,900
- Uh, no, I'm just watching his place, 
 - (car horn))

361
00:21:21,900 --> 00:21:24,700
- He's... Jack's out of town, 
 - He is?

362
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,500
- Yeah, 
 - Aw, shoot!

363
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:30,000
I came by 'cause I was 
 hoping to get my job back,

364
00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:31,700
You know, the one that 
 you got me canned from

365
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:33,400
'cause I made a bad cup 
 of coffee? Remember that?

366
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:34,700
Listen, I'm really sorry about that,

367
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,100
How can you fire someone 
 for making a bad cup of coffee, huh?

368
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:38,500
I know, That's what I tried to say to him,

369
00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:41,900
I mean, who do you think you are - 
 Juan fucking Valdez?

370
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:42,200
I might have had a future at that place 
 if you'd just give me half a chance,

371
00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:49,200
- (man)) Let's get a move on, saddlebag! 
 - Oh, my God, That's my idiot boyfriend,

372
00:21:49,300 --> 00:21:53,200
- (car horn)) 
 - Hold your pants, you freakin' psycho!

373
00:21:53,300 --> 00:21:55,700
God, He drives me crazy,

374
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:59,000
Oh, hey, you know, since you're on the 
 rug, would you mind putting these on?

375
00:21:59,100 --> 00:22:03,100
- They're medical... I got 'em on, too, 
 - Ugh! Licorice,

376
00:22:03,100 --> 00:22:06,500
I hate licorice, I need water 
 or I'm gonna throw up, Ugh!

377
00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:10,500
Thanks to you, I lost my second job 
 inside a month and now I'm flat broke,

378
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:11,900
You lost another job?

379
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,700
Yeah, I got fired from my waitress job 
 just last Friday,

380
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,500
- Why did they fire you? 
 - Oh, I don't know,

381
00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:20,100
One of the assistant managers 
 caught me making out with a customer,

382
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,800
- Excuse me? 
 - Well, I mean, actually the customer

383
00:22:21,900 --> 00:22:23,300
was my boyfriend,

384
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,800
I mean, he became my boyfriend 
 after the incident anyway,

385
00:22:25,900 --> 00:22:28,700
- You got any beer in here? 
 - Uh... Hey,

386
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:31,200
- Here we go, 
 - Would you mind putting these on?

387
00:22:31,300 --> 00:22:34,500
It's a house rule, Oh, actually, 
 that's a twist... Aah!

388
00:22:34,500 --> 00:22:39,300
That's the counter, Listen, Jack, 
 is just a real stickler, That'd be great,

389
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,800
No kidding, I found that out this morning,

390
00:22:41,900 --> 00:22:43,500
(man)) I swear I am gonna freak out 
 and I'm gonna come in there...

391
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:45,600
- Oh, man, Spike's in a real mood, 
 - Uh...

392
00:22:45,700 --> 00:22:47,000
- Don't even... hey, 
 - (doorbell)

393
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,900
- Come on, come on, come on, Shit, 
 - (Spike)) I swear to God, Audrey,

394
00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:51,700
I'll piss on this guy's front steps! 
 Let's go!

395
00:22:51,700 --> 00:22:52,800
- (knocking)) 
 - (doorbell)

396
00:22:52,900 --> 00:22:56,000
If you don't open this door this second, 
 I'm gonna come in there and...

397
00:22:56,100 --> 00:22:57,100
- Hi, 
 - (burps))

398
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:58,500
- (clatter) 
 - Don't worry, Nothing broke,

399
00:22:58,500 --> 00:23:02,700
Hey, Baby, come on, What are you 
 doing leaving me in the goddamn car?

400
00:23:02,700 --> 00:23:04,300
Shake that tail, baby, 
 Come on, Let's get a move on,

401
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:08,200
- Hold your horses, Try acting civilized, 
 - Audrey!

402
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:09,500
This is Tom, the guy that I was 
 telling you about from the office,

403
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,500
Oh, the coffee dude,

404
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:14,400
You got some black ass karma 
 headed your way, superfreak,

405
00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:17,400
Oh, we don't need no lecture 
 from you, Mr, High and Mighty,

406
00:23:17,500 --> 00:23:20,700
Hey, shut that sass-trap of yours, little 
 lady, before I bounce you off the wall!

407
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:25,100
Look, I would appreciate it 
 if you would take this outside, please,

408
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:30,000
Hey, I'd appreciate it if you'd go 
 and buy yourself a bagel, Jewy,

409
00:23:30,100 --> 00:23:32,800
Jewy? I'm not Jewish, And I don't 
 think that making fun of the...

410
00:23:32,900 --> 00:23:36,200
- Don't pay attention to him, He's nuts, 
 - I'm nuts?

411
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,800
- Who do you think you are? 
 - Look, can we please take this outside?

412
00:23:38,900 --> 00:23:40,300
Oh, come on,

413
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,100
You know what you are? 
 You're a filthy, little tramp,

414
00:23:43,100 --> 00:23:44,600
Me? What about you and that waitress?

415
00:23:44,700 --> 00:23:46,700
- Keep going, 
 - I never touched her ever,

416
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,700
- Swear? 
 - So help me God,

417
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:50,200
You swear on your mama's life?

418
00:23:50,300 --> 00:23:52,200
Hell, woman, I ain't gonna 
 swear on my mama's life,

419
00:23:52,300 --> 00:23:55,100
- Why not? If you're telling the truth, 
 - I think he's telling the truth, Audrey,

420
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:56,600
Then why won't you swear 
 on your mama's life?

421
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,300
Well, because I don't feel 
 like I have the right

422
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:00,900
to gamble with my mama's life, 
 that's why,

423
00:24:00,900 --> 00:24:03,300
Gamble? But apparently 
 you got nothing to worry about

424
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:05,100
unless you're lying like 
 a hunk of morgue meat,

425
00:24:05,100 --> 00:24:09,600
Hey, I ain't gonna sit here and get 
 called a liar by no skankin' whore!

426
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,900
Who you calling a whore, 
 you shrimp-dick bastard?!

427
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:14,100
Audrey, see now 
 you're just provoking him,

428
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:15,600
That's a vicious, flat-out, 
 bold-faced lie and you know it!

429
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:18,900
- Is it? Is it? I don't think so! 
 - I'll whip it out right now!

430
00:24:18,900 --> 00:24:20,200
- No, no, no, I don't wanna see it, 
 - I'm gonna whip it out right now

431
00:24:20,300 --> 00:24:22,900
and prove to you that she's a lying slut!

432
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:24,800
- Keep your meat in the fridge! 
 - You wanna see my piece?

433
00:24:24,900 --> 00:24:27,200
- All right, All right! That is enough! 
 - Go get me a ruler, Tom! You go get...

434
00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:30,800
That is it, I don't care 
 if you have a tiny shrimp dick!

435
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:37,000
- Or a giant whale dick, which that's... 
 - Goddamn it, Audrey!

436
00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:40,000
You tell him you're a liar or I'm gonna 
 smash your face in, I swear!

437
00:24:40,100 --> 00:24:45,200
- Wait a minute! You put that down! 
 - All right, Can we please just use fists?

438
00:24:45,300 --> 00:24:48,200
- Come here, you little... (slap)) 
 - You hit me, you bastard!

439
00:24:48,300 --> 00:24:50,800
- I did not and you know it! 
 - He hit me!

440
00:24:50,900 --> 00:24:52,900
He hit me as sure 
 as I'm standing right here!

441
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:54,700
- Did you hit her, Spike? 
 - Yes,

442
00:24:54,700 --> 00:24:56,600
With an open hand, 
 It was with an open hand,

443
00:24:56,700 --> 00:24:58,000
- So what if it's open? 
 - You can't...

444
00:24:58,100 --> 00:24:59,500
- Then it don't count, 
 - Says who?

445
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,500
Says anyone, Ask the Jew,

446
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:05,000
All right, that's it, 
 You two have got to leave,

447
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,600
All right, that's fine, 
 But she is not coming with me,

448
00:25:07,700 --> 00:25:09,000
You are not welcome in the double ride,

449
00:25:09,100 --> 00:25:12,500
Fine, I don't care, I don't need your lousy 
 trailer, I'll stay right here with Tom,

450
00:25:12,500 --> 00:25:14,200
- Fine, Stay with Tom, 
 - I'll stay right here,

451
00:25:14,300 --> 00:25:19,900
Wait a minute, Whoa, Guys, you need 
 to try to work this thing out,

452
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,700
- He hit me! He knocked me on my can! 
 - I know, I know,

453
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:28,400
Well, but it was with 
 an open hand after all, and...

454
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:32,000
Relationships have their 
 ups and downs, you guys,

455
00:25:32,100 --> 00:25:33,900
and you don't want to ruin this great...

456
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:37,000
(yelping))

457
00:25:39,100 --> 00:25:42,400
Oh, God, The bird, OJ!

458
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:46,800
Oh, my God,

459
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,800
(continues yelping))

460
00:25:52,900 --> 00:25:55,000
- (squeals)) 
 - Oh,

461
00:25:56,500 --> 00:26:01,100
You come back here or Tom's 
 gonna kick your butt! So take that!

462
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:04,200
(revs engine)) Ooh, I'm shaking 
 in my boots, baby!

463
00:26:04,300 --> 00:26:06,700
Look at those two, OJ,

464
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,500
(phone ringing))

465
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:15,000
(Spike)) Oh, I ain't 
 running away, dummy!

466
00:26:15,100 --> 00:26:17,300
- Hello? 
 - (Lisa)) Hi, Tom. How are ya?

467
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:21,200
- Hey, Lisa, I'm great, I'm great, 
 - (squawks))

468
00:26:22,100 --> 00:26:23,800
- Is that OJ? 
 - Yeah, yeah.

469
00:26:23,900 --> 00:26:27,500
- We just had a little drink of water, 
 - I haven't heard him squawk in years,

470
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:31,700
Oh, yeah, 
 He's quite the crazy bird, you know,

471
00:26:31,700 --> 00:26:34,200
Yeah. Anyway, Tom, 
 I just wanted you to know

472
00:26:34,300 --> 00:26:37,400
how much I appreciate 
 you helping me out tonight.

473
00:26:37,500 --> 00:26:40,800
But I'd like to crash at a friend's place 
 tonight after the party,

474
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:44,100
Would you think it was horrible if I asked 
 you to stay the whole night tonight?

475
00:26:44,100 --> 00:26:49,600
Oh, well... I-I don't think your dad 
 would want me staying here,

476
00:26:49,700 --> 00:26:53,500
- Please? 
 - Yeah, I suppose I could stay,

477
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:56,100
Thanks, Tom. I really appreciate it. 
 See you tomorrow. (hangs up))

478
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:59,400
(Audrey)) I ain't afraid of you and Tom 
 sure as hell ain't scared neither!

479
00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:03,500
Butthead! Loser!

480
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:05,700
(tires screeching))

481
00:27:05,700 --> 00:27:10,300
Oh, my God, Thank God he's gone, 
 Hey, so is it OK if I stay here tonight?

482
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:14,200
Oh, man, it's... it's not even my house,

483
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:16,200
Oh, yeah,

484
00:27:16,300 --> 00:27:18,600
OK, Well, I sure as hell 
 don't want any charity,

485
00:27:18,700 --> 00:27:23,100
I mean, it's not like you 
 owe me anything, so...

486
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:25,300
And I'm sorry about 
 that whole office thing,

487
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:26,800
I know that you didn't mean 
 to get me fired,

488
00:27:26,900 --> 00:27:31,800
- Yeah, You didn't deserve to get fired, 
 - Thanks,

489
00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:33,900
OK,

490
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:38,100
Well, I guess I'll just go try 
 to find a homeless shelter then,

491
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:43,600
- Wait a second, 
 - Yeah?

492
00:27:43,700 --> 00:27:45,500
(sighs)) God,

493
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:51,200
- Look, I suppose you can stay, 
 - Really? Oh! Thanks, Tom,

494
00:27:51,300 --> 00:27:53,300
You're the best, Oh, and I'll 
 clean up the kitchen, OK?

495
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,400
- OK, 
 - OK, OK,

496
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,200
- (doorbell) 
 - (knocking))

497
00:28:11,300 --> 00:28:13,500
(Tom)) Yeah, One second,

498
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:16,400
- (knocking)) 
 - There's somebody at the door,

499
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,100
Hi, Uh, can I help you?

500
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,400
Vasquez sent me here 
 to pick up a package,

501
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:27,000
Oh, you're the... Yeah, yeah, yeah, 
 Red told me you might be stopping by,

502
00:28:27,100 --> 00:28:28,800
Uh... Oh, hi, I'm Tom,

503
00:28:28,900 --> 00:28:31,900
What is this, Oprah ? 
 Just give me the goddamn package,

504
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:35,700
Oh, OK, Yeah, Um...

505
00:28:36,500 --> 00:28:39,000
I think this is it,

506
00:28:39,100 --> 00:28:41,900
If this ain't kosher, 
 I'm gonna break his thumbs,

507
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:45,900
Oh, well, by law, it should be stamped 
 right on the package there,

508
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:51,400
- (. classical) 
 - What...

509
00:28:51,500 --> 00:28:54,100
(squawks))

510
00:28:55,700 --> 00:28:59,500
- Oh, Dinnertime, buddy, 
 - (. classical continues))

511
00:29:01,900 --> 00:29:08,100
OJ... today's specials include 
 a scrumptious buffet of mice kebabs,

512
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:11,600
- (squawks)) 
 - (gasps)) Aah! Shit! Ah... crap!

513
00:29:14,900 --> 00:29:16,700
You son of a bitch,

514
00:29:16,700 --> 00:29:18,600
- (squeaks)) 
 - Ha,

515
00:29:20,300 --> 00:29:21,500
(grunts))

516
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:24,500
- (chuckles)) I got you now, buddy, 
 - (squealing))

517
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:27,700
(gasps)) Aah!

518
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,900
Aah! (groans))

519
00:29:32,300 --> 00:29:34,600
(squawks))

520
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:37,400
- Dude, that was cool, 
 - Oh, my God,

521
00:29:38,300 --> 00:29:41,900
- Tommy, easy on the antiques, 
 - (squawking))

522
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:45,700
- Was that an owl? 
 - Yes, OJ got out, How is he flying?

523
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:49,100
- Well, he is a bird, 
 - He... no, Jack said that he...

524
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:51,200
Aw, shit! I gotta find him,

525
00:29:51,300 --> 00:29:55,000
Don't worry, He'll probably 
 come back when he's hungry,

526
00:29:55,100 --> 00:29:58,700
No, I have to find him or I'm gonna 
 lose my job! You know what?

527
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:01,900
This isn't gonna help your chances 
 of getting your job back either,

528
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,400
OK,

529
00:30:03,500 --> 00:30:07,000
- Where the hell is he? 
 - Tom, relax,

530
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,600
- Relax? OJ's loose! 
 - (gasping & screaming))

531
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:14,300
- This is no time to relax! 
 - Tom! He's right over here!

532
00:30:14,900 --> 00:30:16,900
- Right there, right there, right there! 
 - OJ!

533
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,200
- Right there! 
 - OJ!

534
00:30:19,300 --> 00:30:23,400
Stop! No, no, Stop, Stop,

535
00:30:23,500 --> 00:30:26,700
OJ, OJ...

536
00:30:26,700 --> 00:30:31,100
Get up, What the hell you doing 
 on my property? Planning to rob me?

537
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:33,600
No, I-I was just looking for...

538
00:30:33,700 --> 00:30:38,200
Yeah, yeah, I see what you're looking 
 for, You got a thing for young girls, eh?

539
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:39,400
No,

540
00:30:39,500 --> 00:30:42,000
Then why do you keep 
 eyeing my wife, you perv?

541
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,500
Your... no, I wasn't looking, l...

542
00:30:44,500 --> 00:30:47,500
Arthur, are you gonna be back soon? 
 I need you to spot me,

543
00:30:47,500 --> 00:30:49,300
Just give me a minute, honey,

544
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:51,800
- Oh... Please don't kill me, 
 - I'm not gonna kill you, OK,

545
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:56,100
If you let me live, I'll give you my 
 most valued possession, Here, take it,

546
00:30:56,100 --> 00:30:57,600
You know what that is, don't you?

547
00:30:57,700 --> 00:31:00,600
- Evander Holyfield's ear, 
 - What?

548
00:31:00,700 --> 00:31:04,200
The part of the ear that 
 Mike Tyson bit off and spit out,

549
00:31:04,300 --> 00:31:06,300
- But it's white, 
 - So?

550
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:11,100
- So, shouldn't it be black? 
 - Well, if it's still on his head, sure,

551
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:14,500
But anybody knows that a 
 severed ear loses its color,

552
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:16,300
- No, 
 - Sheryl?

553
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:18,500
- Yeah? 
 - What happens to an ear

554
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:22,800
- if it's severed from your head? 
 - It changes color, Duh,

555
00:31:22,900 --> 00:31:25,700
- (thud) 
 - (Sheryl) Ow! Damn!

556
00:31:25,700 --> 00:31:28,000
- (Audrey)) Tina, give me a beer, 
 - (man laughs))

557
00:31:28,100 --> 00:31:30,000
- (Tina)) Oops, 
 - (man)) You have got to be kidding me,

558
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,600
- (Audrey)) Try another one, 
 - (Tina)) Come on, you guys!

559
00:31:32,700 --> 00:31:34,900
- (clatter) 
 - (Tina)) Party!

560
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:38,000
- Come on, let's go! 
 - Audrey...

561
00:31:38,100 --> 00:31:40,800
- What the hell is going on in here? 
 - Heads up,

562
00:31:40,900 --> 00:31:41,900
Who are these people?

563
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,700
I invited some friends over 
 to help us look for the owl,

564
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:46,600
And Darryl even fixed 
 the table in the hall,

565
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,500
- Thank you, 
 - He won't even know it was broken,

566
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:50,800
- (bottle breaks)) 
 - (man)) Air ball,

567
00:31:50,900 --> 00:31:53,800
We'll get that later, 
 Everyone, this is Tom,

568
00:31:53,900 --> 00:31:55,700
- Yo, Tom, 
 - Hi, guys,

569
00:31:55,700 --> 00:31:57,200
You guys, Tom's a real good guy 
 and his nuts are gonna just...

570
00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,600
Audrey, could you...

571
00:32:01,100 --> 00:32:05,500
- What? 
 - Listen, I appreciate all your help,

572
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:09,100
But could you make sure that your 
 friends stay out of the house?

573
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:13,000
- All of them or just the colored guy? 
 - No, all of them,

574
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:17,200
Ooh, that's smart, That way the 
 colored guy won't take it personal,

575
00:32:17,300 --> 00:32:20,400
- I have nothing against... Look, 
 - What?

576
00:32:20,500 --> 00:32:21,900
I am responsible for this house

577
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:24,700
and I can't have all of these 
 people hanging around,

578
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:28,300
OK, all right, I got it, 
 You guys, let's move it out,

579
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:31,100
- Aw, I was just getting started, 
 - Good idea,

580
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,500
Thanks, guys, That's great,

581
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:37,200
- (Tina)) What about the cake? 
 - Don't worry, they're all good people,

582
00:32:37,300 --> 00:32:40,000
They're not gonna steal nothing 
 or drink too much like the lndians,

583
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:43,700
Look... just make sure they stay outside,

584
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,300
- OK? 
 - OK,

585
00:32:50,500 --> 00:32:53,000
(door opens%shuts))

586
00:32:53,100 --> 00:32:54,900
- Lisa? 
 - Hi, Tom,

587
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:58,100
Uh, you're home? Why are you home?

588
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:01,300
It's not worth going into, 
 I got in a huge fight with Hans,

589
00:33:01,300 --> 00:33:06,700
Oh, So... it's over?

590
00:33:07,700 --> 00:33:10,000
It's my own fault for dating 
 a guy my dad likes,

591
00:33:10,100 --> 00:33:11,100
Really?

592
00:33:11,100 --> 00:33:13,900
Yeah, he's one of his top marketing 
 execs, You know, Harvard Law,

593
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:17,700
Comes from a good family, top 
 of the tennis letter at the country club,

594
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:21,700
- Tom, can I talk to you for a second? 
 - Audrey?

595
00:33:21,700 --> 00:33:24,900
Yeah, She came to, uh, talk to your dad,

596
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:29,800
OK, I'm gonna go in my room, 
 You could stay if you want,

597
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:31,800
OK,

598
00:33:31,900 --> 00:33:34,600
- Tom? 
 - Audrey, I'll be right there, OK?

599
00:33:34,700 --> 00:33:36,300
OK,

600
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:40,900
- Or you could go, 
 - You know, maybe we could talk...

601
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:43,800
...later,

602
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:47,100
Here, How about this one?

603
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:49,700
- What's going on? 
 - We found the owl!

604
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:53,100
- Where is he? 
 - Uh, well, he got away,

605
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:55,700
- Where'd he go? 
 - He hopped somewhere in the bushes,

606
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,000
- That's right, 
 - What are you doing?

607
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:01,400
Getting hamburger meat, 
 That's a good way to lure birds,

608
00:34:01,500 --> 00:34:05,100
- They like hamburger meat? 
 - I don't know, I've never had a bird,

609
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:07,700
- But most animals respond to meat, 
 - It's a fact,

610
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,600
Wanna help me separate the meat?

611
00:34:11,300 --> 00:34:13,500
Speed, tell Tom about 
 the Kennedy assassination,

612
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:16,300
This is so cool, Tom, 'cause Speed 
 knows who killed JFK,

613
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:18,800
No, ask him! Tom, ask him,

614
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:21,600
- Ask him who killed him, 
 - All right, All right,

615
00:34:21,700 --> 00:34:27,500
- Who killed JFK? 
 - Desi Arnaz,

616
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:33,800
- Oh, 
 - His life just changed,

617
00:34:33,900 --> 00:34:35,600
(squeaking))

618
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:48,500
Oh,

619
00:34:53,100 --> 00:34:56,800
Oh, God, Oh... oh... oh...

620
00:34:57,900 --> 00:35:00,900
- Tom! 
 - (gasps)) Shit, Lisa,

621
00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:05,100
- Uh, what are you doing in here? 
 - This is my closet,

622
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:09,900
Oh, Oh... uh, I had 
 something in my pants,

623
00:35:10,500 --> 00:35:17,400
Um, I was feeding the mouse to the bird 
 and he, uh, ran down my pants,

624
00:35:18,100 --> 00:35:19,900
- (mice squeaks)) 
 - I'm sorry that, uh...

625
00:35:19,900 --> 00:35:22,400
Oh, look! There it is! 
 That way! The bedroom,

626
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,900
- (Lisa)) Whoa, Watch out! 
 - Aah! (groans))

627
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:31,000
- Oh, my gosh, Are you OK? 
 - Yep, Yep, I'm good,

628
00:35:31,100 --> 00:35:33,100
Don't worry, we'll get it later,

629
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:36,800
Oh, here, Let me help you,

630
00:35:36,900 --> 00:35:40,400
You know, I'm really glad you stayed, 
 I needed a good laugh tonight,

631
00:35:40,500 --> 00:35:43,600
Thanks, Wow, Yeah, could I make 
 a bigger ass out of myself?

632
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:48,800
- (chuckling)) Do you want some wine? 
 - Uh, no, thanks,

633
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:49,900
Yeah, sure,

634
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:51,900
- Cheers, 
 - Cheers,

635
00:35:54,300 --> 00:35:57,300
Oh, my God, Is that signed 
 by Walter Payton?

636
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:01,500
Yeah, "Sweetness", '85 Bears, Only the 
 greatest team ever to play the game,

637
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:05,900
Shut up, Walter Payton, 
 Jim McMahon, Mike Singletary,

638
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,200
You know what? 
 You may be the coolest girl ever,

639
00:36:08,300 --> 00:36:10,500
- You like football? 
 - Yeah, I love it,

640
00:36:10,500 --> 00:36:12,500
I didn't know you guys liked football,

641
00:36:12,500 --> 00:36:15,300
Yeah, No, me and Paul 
 watch the game every Sunday,

642
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:17,300
- Paul, too? 
 - Yeah,

643
00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:20,200
- Oh, 
 - (chuckles))

644
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:22,600
Oh, what's that?

645
00:36:22,700 --> 00:36:25,900
Oh, it's nothing, 
 It's just something I used to do,

646
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:29,900
That is really good, 
 I didn't know you were an artist,

647
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:33,600
I used to be, but I couldn't get any more 
 of my friends to pose nude for me,

648
00:36:33,700 --> 00:36:37,800
- You wouldn't be interested, would you? 
 - Uh...

649
00:36:37,900 --> 00:36:41,300
You're blushing, I was just joking,

650
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:45,600
I'm not blushing, I just-l just 
 get red from time to time,

651
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:48,500
You are so funny,

652
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:52,000
No, seriously, you should really 
 pursue this, I mean, you're good,

653
00:36:52,100 --> 00:36:56,000
I would, but it doesn't really fit in 
 with my father's plan for me,

654
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:59,500
Future of Midnight Owl Publishing,

655
00:36:59,500 --> 00:37:02,200
- (mice squeaks)) 
 - Oh, look! There it is,

656
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:05,300
- He's right there, Through the door, 
 - We'll get him, We'll get him,

657
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:07,700
- Whoa! Watch out! 
 - (groans))

658
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:09,400
- Are you OK? 
 - Your dad's gonna kill me,

659
00:37:09,500 --> 00:37:12,400
No, don't worry about it, 
 It's my brother's, My dad won't care,

660
00:37:12,500 --> 00:37:13,700
Oh, Red,

661
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:15,800
- Oh, so Dad told you? 
 - About what?

662
00:37:15,900 --> 00:37:18,500
- The restraining order, 
 - How's that?

663
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:21,900
Yeah, Red's not allowed within 
 100 yards of me, my dad, or this house,

664
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,000
He... uh, he didn't-he didn't mention that,

665
00:37:24,100 --> 00:37:27,600
Red's a freak, You don't want 
 to be around my dad if he finds out

666
00:37:27,700 --> 00:37:30,100
anyone was in this house, 
 especially Red,

667
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:31,900
It's like wherever he is, there's trouble,

668
00:37:31,900 --> 00:37:34,100
I mean, one time, he had this big party 
 'cause Dad was out of town

669
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:35,500
and my dad came home early...

670
00:37:35,500 --> 00:37:39,700
Hey, uh... you know, since the mouse is 
 gone, what say we, uh, go back inside?

671
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:41,900
OK,

672
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:43,900
(grunts))

673
00:37:43,900 --> 00:37:46,500
(both screaming))

674
00:37:46,500 --> 00:37:49,600
(. synthesizer)

675
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:12,400
- It was up for an Oscar? I hated it! 
 - I know! (laughing))

676
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:16,700
Oh, I hated that movie! 
 Man, I can't believe you,

677
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:20,500
You're like... you're so different 
 from how you are at work,

678
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:24,600
What am I gonna do? Like, walk around 
 with my Walter Payton jersey?

679
00:38:24,700 --> 00:38:28,800
No, no, I get it, It's, like, at work 
 you have to be Lisa Taylor:

680
00:38:28,900 --> 00:38:32,600
the, you know, loyal employee 
 to the family firm,

681
00:38:32,700 --> 00:38:34,100
And I have to be... Tom...

682
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:38,900
Tom Stansfield: the guy 
 who will do anything for anybody,

683
00:38:40,500 --> 00:38:42,400
Yup, That's me,

684
00:38:44,300 --> 00:38:47,300
I swear, it's like I can just 
 talk to you about anything,

685
00:38:47,300 --> 00:38:50,000
I know, exactly, It's...

686
00:38:50,100 --> 00:38:53,600
- Yeah, this is crazy, 
 - Yeah, it is,

687
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:59,600
I guess it's because there's no 
 attraction between us, you know?

688
00:38:59,700 --> 00:39:00,700
Yeah,

689
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:03,600
You know, there's none 
 of that sexual tension,

690
00:39:03,700 --> 00:39:05,300
- Yeah, 
 - It's like I'm with a girlfriend,

691
00:39:05,300 --> 00:39:07,500
- It's great, isn't it? 
 - Yeah,

692
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:09,800
I mean, maybe we could go to the mall 
 sometime and go shopping,

693
00:39:09,900 --> 00:39:12,000
- That would be fun! Wouldn't it be fun? 
 - Yeah,

694
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,000
Wait, you have to listen to this song,

695
00:39:14,100 --> 00:39:16,200
Come on, I need 
 someone to dance with!

696
00:39:16,300 --> 00:39:18,700
- You don't want to see me dance, 
 - (. "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing')

697
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:22,100
- Come on, dance with me, 
 - I have no idea what I'm doing,

698
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:25,900
Come on, Put your hands together, 
 Yeah! Now go underneath,

699
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,000
- What... like this? 
 - Yeah!

700
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:31,300
- Like that? 
 - Yeah! (squeals))

701
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:34,800
Hold on, hold on, Watch, watch, watch,

702
00:39:34,900 --> 00:39:36,500
- (pants rip)) 
 - Oh,

703
00:39:36,500 --> 00:39:39,800
- Yeah! Oh... 
 - I'm trying to do too much,

704
00:39:39,900 --> 00:39:43,200
(laughing)) Oh! Yeah!

705
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:46,000
- (squealing)) 
 - I'm a dancer,

706
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:47,300
- Catch me, 
 - Oh... what?

707
00:39:47,300 --> 00:39:49,300
(squeals))

708
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,700
- I got you! 
 - Whoa!

709
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:55,400
Whoa... (chuckles))

710
00:39:55,500 --> 00:39:58,900
OK, I am doomed,

711
00:39:59,900 --> 00:40:01,900
Here,

712
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:04,700
(. "Better Man" by Martina Sorbara))

713
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:07,100
Oh, I love this song,

714
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:10,100
My friend Jenny does this 
 really wild strip routine

715
00:40:10,100 --> 00:40:15,600
for her boyfriend to this song, 
 It's super sexy, Even you'd appreciate it,

716
00:40:15,700 --> 00:40:20,900
I wish I could be like her, you know? 
 She's so free and everything,

717
00:40:36,700 --> 00:40:38,700
(giggles))

718
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,100
(giggling))

719
00:41:14,900 --> 00:41:16,900
So, what do you think?

720
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:22,000
Ah, it's... it's, uh, very nice,

721
00:41:22,100 --> 00:41:25,600
So if you weren't gay, 
 this would turn you on, right?

722
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:32,100
- Gay? Who said I was gay? 
 - My father, You mean it's not true?

723
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:35,100
- No! 
 - No? God, I'm so embarrassed!

724
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:38,800
- I can't believe you'd let me do this! 
 - I didn't mean to... I mean, um...

725
00:41:38,900 --> 00:41:41,200
Why would your father say that I'm gay?

726
00:41:41,300 --> 00:41:45,900
I don't know, Well, you can't blame him 
 entirely, I mean, you are a little feminine,

727
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:48,600
- (gasps)) 
 - Don't be hurt,

728
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,200
It's OK,

729
00:41:52,300 --> 00:41:55,000
Hans is a bit of feminine, too,

730
00:41:55,100 --> 00:41:58,700
What exactly did Hans do anyway?

731
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,600
Well, it's not like he did just one thing,

732
00:42:05,700 --> 00:42:07,900
It's more about trust,

733
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:11,800
Yeah, Trust is... it's important,

734
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:15,200
Trust is everything,

735
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:20,000
I don't know, Maybe it's me, It's like 
 I'm just sending out some kind of vibe,

736
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,500
- I can't attract a decent guy, 
 - No,

737
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:24,700
- What's wrong with me? 
 - Don't even worry about it,

738
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,900
You're gonna find another guy so fast,

739
00:42:28,900 --> 00:42:33,600
I mean, look at you, You're amazing,

740
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:39,400
- You really think so? 
 - Why do you think I'm here tonight?

741
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:44,200
Oh, God, Tom,

742
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:49,100
You didn't know, You thought that...

743
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:52,800
(door opens))

744
00:43:00,700 --> 00:43:05,400
Uh... uh... I'm gonna... I'll be right back,

745
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:10,000
I'm just gonna go and check 
 and see if Audrey needs towels,

746
00:43:10,100 --> 00:43:12,700
Tom, you don't have to lie to me,

747
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:16,500
If you have to go to the bathroom, 
 go take a crap and come back,

748
00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:20,500
(chuckles))

749
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:25,600
(clatter)

750
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:31,200
What the... hey! What the hell 
 are you doing here, man?

751
00:43:34,100 --> 00:43:35,100
(grunts))

752
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:39,400
You try to bone Vasquez out of 20 grand 
 and you ask me what I'm doing?

753
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:43,600
You think I work for Mrs, Fields? You 
 think my boss likes to bake cookies?

754
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:47,500
- Whoa! What are you doing? Come on, 
 - You tried to sell me flour,

755
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:51,500
Flour? I-I don't even know what 
 you're talk... What are you... Come on!

756
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:53,900
Look, I'm just housesitting for my boss,

757
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:57,000
- Who's your boss? 
 - Jack Taylor,

758
00:43:57,100 --> 00:44:02,400
Jack Taylor, huh? I did time 
 in Joliet with a Jack Taylor,

759
00:44:02,500 --> 00:44:07,400
Average height, medium hair, 
 horrible case of folliculitis on his ass?

760
00:44:07,500 --> 00:44:11,000
- I wouldn't know about the folliculitis, 
 - I thought you said he was your boss,

761
00:44:11,100 --> 00:44:14,100
- He is, 
 - And you never saw his ass?

762
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:17,000
- Why would I see my boss's ass? 
 - It stands to reason,

763
00:44:17,100 --> 00:44:20,400
You work for a guy long enough, 
 sooner or later,

764
00:44:20,500 --> 00:44:23,400
you're gonna get a glimpse of his ass,

765
00:44:25,100 --> 00:44:27,100
Listen, I-I don't know 
 what line of work you're in,

766
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:30,200
but I've never seen my boss's ass,

767
00:44:30,300 --> 00:44:33,200
Hey, man...

768
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:36,000
Hey! Hey, stop it 
 or I'm gonna call the cops!

769
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:39,600
And tell them what? 
 Your drug deal went bad?

770
00:44:39,700 --> 00:44:42,200
You rat me out, I'm gonna 
 carve you up like a turkey

771
00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:44,900
and beat your kids 
 with what's left of you,

772
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:48,300
- I don't have any kids, 
 - I can wait,

773
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:51,900
(. cell phone ringing 
 "Fur Elise" by Beethoven))

774
00:44:57,500 --> 00:45:02,500
Excuse me, Hello? Right, OK,

775
00:45:03,900 --> 00:45:06,200
Tommy, let's get clear on something,

776
00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:10,000
In the next 60 minutes, I'm gonna 
 bring Vasquez what he paid for

777
00:45:10,100 --> 00:45:12,800
or your gift-wrapped nuts,

778
00:45:14,900 --> 00:45:16,800
(door shuts))

779
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:21,500
- Oh, hi, Tom, What's going on? 
 - Yeah, That's what I wanna know,

780
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:24,900
What's going on with your dad's gift? 
 See... Do you see that guy?

781
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:26,500
He was gonna kill me!

782
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:28,500
Don't you think you're 
 overreacting a little, Tom?

783
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:33,600
Overreacting? The guy had a knife! 
 I don't think that I am overreacting!

784
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:35,800
He probably just had the wrong address,

785
00:45:35,900 --> 00:45:40,100
I mean, there's gotta be over a dozen 
 Jack Taylor's in Chicago alone,

786
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:43,600
I'm gonna go to my dad's bedroom, 
 You tell me if the guy shows up again,

787
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:45,200
All right, All right, You listen to me,

788
00:45:45,300 --> 00:45:47,500
You're not even supposed 
 to be in this house,

789
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:48,500
Says who?

790
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:51,400
I know about the restraining order, Red,

791
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:56,100
Restraining-shmaining, I mean, 
 that's just a big misunderstanding,

792
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:57,800
(Audrey)) Tom! It's OJ!

793
00:45:57,900 --> 00:45:59,900
(overlapping chatter)

794
00:46:01,500 --> 00:46:03,900
(Audrey and friends)) Oh...

795
00:46:03,900 --> 00:46:08,600
- Whoa, Hey, Who are you? 
 - I'm here to see Lisa, My name's Hans,

796
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:12,200
- Is that so shocking? 
 - No,

797
00:46:12,300 --> 00:46:13,900
What, you surprised she'd go out 
 with someone like me?

798
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:15,200
No, no, It's not...

799
00:46:15,300 --> 00:46:17,800
Give me a break, man, 
 You oughta be ashamed of yourself,

800
00:46:17,900 --> 00:46:20,200
Let me tell you something, 
 There are a lot of girls out there

801
00:46:20,300 --> 00:46:22,600
who can see past the fact 
 that I just happen to be...

802
00:46:22,700 --> 00:46:24,200
a few pounds overweight,

803
00:46:24,300 --> 00:46:26,700
(crying)) You know, inside 
 I'm just like everyone else,

804
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:29,900
- Let me get you a tissue, 
 - Thank you,

805
00:46:29,900 --> 00:46:32,100
- I'm on the second day of a new diet, 
 - Hey, uh, Hans...

806
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:34,000
- I gave up chocolate, 
 - I'm really sorry,

807
00:46:34,100 --> 00:46:36,700
I think that, uh, we just 
 got off on the wrong foot,

808
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:42,200
Oh... uh... It's good 
 to meet you, Hans, I'm Tom,

809
00:46:42,300 --> 00:46:43,500
l, uh... (clears throat)

810
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:46,300
I'm just a friend of Lisa's,

811
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:49,500
Oh, great, Well, maybe you can 
 help me, Is she here? Lisa! Lisa!

812
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:51,200
Whoa, Hans, you know what?

813
00:46:51,300 --> 00:46:54,200
Maybe right now isn't a great time 
 for you to see Lisa,

814
00:46:54,300 --> 00:46:56,400
What say, uh, we get you a drink?

815
00:46:56,500 --> 00:46:59,300
Oh, OK, Yeah, she's 
 probably really upset,

816
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:03,900
You see, we got in a misunderstanding 
 tonight and, well, she left me,

817
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:06,100
- Wow, that's unfortunate, 
 - Yeah,

818
00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:08,000
Uh, what happened?

819
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:12,300
Well, I think seeing me naked from 
 behind like that kind of shocked her,

820
00:47:12,300 --> 00:47:16,300
Oh, So, tonight was the first time,

821
00:47:16,300 --> 00:47:19,100
Yeah, Tonight was the first time, 
 It was awesome,

822
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:22,300
I mean, I was lying up on the bed like 
 this with one leg straight up in the air,

823
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:24,300
- I don't think I really need to see... 
 - And I had a handful of ass right here...

824
00:47:24,300 --> 00:47:25,300
- Whoa, 
 - ...and I had a handful of this,

825
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:29,000
Hans, please, Whoa, 
 God, you're... that's...

826
00:47:29,700 --> 00:47:33,700
- And that's when Lisa walked in, 
 - What?

827
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:36,500
She caught me in the bed with a blonde,

828
00:47:36,500 --> 00:47:38,000
What?

829
00:47:38,100 --> 00:47:40,800
Aw, come on, man, Tell me you 
 haven't ever wanted to do it with a...

830
00:47:40,900 --> 00:47:44,000
Hans, Hans, No... you cheated on her,

831
00:47:45,700 --> 00:47:48,800
You know something, Tom? 
 You're right,

832
00:47:48,900 --> 00:47:53,700
Aw, I guess that was cheating, 
 And now I've gone and lost everyone,

833
00:47:53,700 --> 00:47:56,300
I should have known 
 from the start it wasn't right,

834
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:58,900
She kept telling me 
 I reminded her of her dad,

835
00:47:58,900 --> 00:48:02,000
Hans, you gotta realize 
 that this is over, you know?

836
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:05,600
And you gotta put an end to it, 
 and-and move on,

837
00:48:05,700 --> 00:48:09,100
- And get yourself to a better place, OK? 
 - Yes,

838
00:48:09,200 --> 00:48:13,300
- I think you know what I mean, 
 - Yeah, I do know what you mean,

839
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:17,500
And I'm ready, I know what I have to do,

840
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:24,000
Well, I guess this is good-bye,

841
00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:31,500
- (squawking)) 
 - OJ!

842
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:33,300
(Hans)) Thanks, Tom,

843
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:35,300
(Tom)) OJ, come back!

844
00:48:35,900 --> 00:48:38,000
(dog barks))

845
00:48:38,100 --> 00:48:40,100
OJ!

846
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:43,700
(squawks))

847
00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:54,200
Hello, You must be Julie's date, 
 Come in, Come in,

848
00:48:54,300 --> 00:48:57,700
Actually I'm just here looking for a bird,

849
00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:01,200
Make yourself at home, Albert, 
 Julie's still getting ready,

850
00:49:01,300 --> 00:49:04,500
- No, actually, uh, my name is Tom, 
 - I'm sorry, I'm hard of hearing,

851
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:07,100
- Could you speak up, please? 
 - (shouts)) My name is Tom!

852
00:49:07,100 --> 00:49:09,600
I could've sworn Julie 
 said your name was Albert,

853
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:11,300
No, see, I'm afraid that you're mistaken,

854
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:15,600
- Is someone here? 
 - Yes, This is Julie's date, Albert,

855
00:49:15,700 --> 00:49:17,300
- Ah! Ah! 
 - This is my nephew, George,

856
00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:21,600
- He's blind and crippled, 
 - Oh, Uh... (shouts)) nice to meet you,

857
00:49:21,700 --> 00:49:22,900
I'm not deaf,

858
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:27,600
Excuse me, I'll go see what's 
 keeping Julie, She's probably nervous,

859
00:49:27,700 --> 00:49:29,500
So you're Julie's date, huh?

860
00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:32,800
No, I'm just... I just came here, 
 I was looking for an owl,

861
00:49:32,900 --> 00:49:36,800
(laughs)) You don't have 
 to make lame excuses,

862
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:40,600
Listen, do you know what the 
 advantage is in being a cripple?

863
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:42,500
No, I can't say that I do,

864
00:49:42,500 --> 00:49:44,800
You don't really care to hear much 
 what I have to say, do you?

865
00:49:44,900 --> 00:49:47,600
No, no, It's not that, I'm...

866
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:50,600
You know what? 
 Go ahead, I'm listening,

867
00:49:50,700 --> 00:49:52,900
Sit down, Tom,

868
00:49:56,900 --> 00:49:59,400
You know what I gained 
 by becoming a quad?

869
00:49:59,500 --> 00:50:01,500
What, are you shaking your head? 
 I can't see, you know!

870
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:06,400
I'm sorry, Uh... uh... 
 Tell me what you gained,

871
00:50:06,500 --> 00:50:09,400
I no longer need my Viagra,

872
00:50:10,300 --> 00:50:13,800
Now I can maintain 
 my arousal for hours,

873
00:50:13,900 --> 00:50:16,400
That's-that's great, 
 I guess things have a way

874
00:50:16,500 --> 00:50:18,200
of evening themselves out 
 in the long run, huh?

875
00:50:18,300 --> 00:50:20,700
No, not really, And do you know why?

876
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:22,100
No, why?

877
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:24,600
Because I am a blind, 
 quad freak, you moron!

878
00:50:24,700 --> 00:50:26,700
What, you think women dig this?!

879
00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:28,000
- I mean, you think women go... 
 - Well, hello,

880
00:50:28,100 --> 00:50:30,000
..."l wanna give that mutant 
 freak my number"?

881
00:50:30,100 --> 00:50:33,400
- Ken Morehouse, I'm Julie's dad, 
 - Hey, nice to meet you,

882
00:50:33,500 --> 00:50:37,000
ls, uh, George boring you 
 with his self-pitying tripe?

883
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,400
- Tripe... 
 - No, not at all,

884
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:42,700
"I'm blind, I'm crippled, Boohoo-hoo,"

885
00:50:42,700 --> 00:50:45,800
Leave the room, I wanna talk 
 to Albert alone for a second,

886
00:50:45,900 --> 00:50:48,200
- I can stay if I want, 
 - Leave the room!

887
00:50:48,300 --> 00:50:49,500
- OK, OK, 
 - Get out!

888
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:52,000
- You don't have to be huffy about it! 
 - Get out now! Get out!

889
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:55,700
- OK, 
 - Turn it, turn it, turn it,

890
00:50:55,700 --> 00:50:58,700
- Oh, for God's sakes, 
 - (clatter)

891
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:01,700
- I'm so sorry, 
 - (George)) Who the hell put that there?

892
00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:02,800
- (cat meows)) 
 - (thud)

893
00:51:02,900 --> 00:51:06,300
My daughter's gonna be a few minutes, 
 Have a-Have a seat, Albert,

894
00:51:06,300 --> 00:51:08,000
- Tom, 
 - No, Ken,

895
00:51:08,100 --> 00:51:09,400
- Right, You're Ken, 
 - Yes,

896
00:51:09,500 --> 00:51:12,900
Before you say anything, Albert, 
 I just want you to know that Julie

897
00:51:12,900 --> 00:51:17,500
is really self-conscious about her 
 appearance since the... the accident,

898
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:18,700
- (door shuts)) 
 - Right...

899
00:51:18,700 --> 00:51:23,200
- Oh, Julie, 
 - Julie, this is Albert, Albert, Julie,

900
00:51:23,300 --> 00:51:27,100
- It's nice to meet you, Albert, 
 - Wow, It's... wow,

901
00:51:27,100 --> 00:51:32,600
It's nice to meet you, too, 
 But, the thing is, is that I'm not Albert,

902
00:51:34,300 --> 00:51:38,400
- That is to say that I'm not your date, 
 - Oh,,

903
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:41,400
There's been a giant misunderstanding,

904
00:51:41,500 --> 00:51:45,000
- Oh, how could you? 
 - (crying)) I knew this would happen!

905
00:51:45,100 --> 00:51:47,300
No, I'm telling the truth,

906
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:50,400
Julie wasn't pretty enough 
 for you, Mr, GQ? Is that it?

907
00:51:50,500 --> 00:51:55,000
- No, you don't understand, 
 - Oh, I understand, Fabio,

908
00:51:55,100 --> 00:51:57,900
- You broke that poor girl's heart, 
 - No, no, See, I'm not...

909
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:01,400
Do you think Julie is an idiot? Do you 
 think she bought your little fairy tale

910
00:52:01,500 --> 00:52:04,100
Mr, I'm Too Sexy 
 for my medical booties?

911
00:52:04,900 --> 00:52:07,500
- Oh, th... 
 - Get the hell out of here,

912
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:12,200
Or I'll kick your pretty-boy ass 
 to kingdom come,

913
00:52:12,300 --> 00:52:16,200
- Am I interrupting something? 
 - No, it's just that the...

914
00:52:16,300 --> 00:52:20,600
- (squawks)) 
 - (grunts))

915
00:52:20,700 --> 00:52:23,400
Tom, there's two things 
 that we need to talk about,

916
00:52:23,500 --> 00:52:24,500
What?

917
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:26,800
First of all, I don't wanna 
 wear these booties anymore,

918
00:52:26,900 --> 00:52:29,800
- No one else is wearing the booties, 
 - Fine,

919
00:52:29,900 --> 00:52:33,700
- What's the other thing? 
 - Tina thinks she's got cancer,

920
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:37,800
- Do you feel it? 
 - Uh, I'm just...

921
00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:42,200
- What's supposed to be there? I don't... 
 - See, Tina?

922
00:52:42,300 --> 00:52:45,400
Move your hand to the left, 
 Now move it around,

923
00:52:45,500 --> 00:52:47,700
Uh-huh,

924
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:51,500
- Don't you feel anything? 
 - Yeah, I mean, no, no,

925
00:52:51,500 --> 00:52:53,300
No, it seems to be... Well...

926
00:52:53,400 --> 00:52:56,000
Tina, your breast is no 
 different than mine, OK?

927
00:52:56,000 --> 00:53:01,100
- It is, There's no comparison, 
 - Tom, feel my breast and compare,

928
00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:04,000
Now, do you detect any difference 
 between our breasts?

929
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:07,100
- Well... You gotta slow down a little, 
 - It sure feels good,

930
00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:09,800
- Well, yours is a... 
 - (door opens))

931
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:13,100
- Lisa, this isn't what it looks like, 
 - I believed everything you said,

932
00:53:13,700 --> 00:53:14,600
I'm...

933
00:53:14,700 --> 00:53:16,200
It was all just a bunch of lines, wasn't it?

934
00:53:16,300 --> 00:53:20,400
No, no, Lisa, it was all... 
 I swear to you, I meant every word,

935
00:53:20,500 --> 00:53:21,900
This is... nothing's going on here,

936
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:24,900
Great, Tom, I'm glad you think 
 I'm a complete idiot,

937
00:53:24,900 --> 00:53:29,800
No, no, I'm telling you, I was just 
 checking these girls for breast cancer,

938
00:53:30,500 --> 00:53:35,100
- You make me sick, 
 - No... Lisa, wait!

939
00:53:35,700 --> 00:53:38,500
- She's never gonna forgive me, 
 - Of course she will,

940
00:53:38,500 --> 00:53:39,700
Is this the first time you cheated on her?

941
00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:43,100
Yeah, No! I... yeah... wait,

942
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:46,700
I didn't cheat on her, I mean, 
 you were there for God's sakes!

943
00:53:46,800 --> 00:53:48,300
Look, I know that 
 you didn't cheat on her,

944
00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:50,600
- I mean, you were a little grabby, but... 
 - I...

945
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:52,200
Look, don't you think 
 we should just find the owl

946
00:53:52,300 --> 00:53:54,100
and worry about your little "affair" later?

947
00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:57,200
l... I am get... I'm getting angry 
 and I don't get angry,

948
00:53:57,300 --> 00:53:58,800
- Ugh! 
 - Hey, Speed?

949
00:53:58,900 --> 00:54:01,000
Hey, can I ask you a question?

950
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:06,700
- What are you... I thought you left, 
 - I did... to get this,

951
00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:11,100
- All right, Why is the fire going? 
 - Cozy, isn't it?

952
00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:15,200
- All right, You put that down, 
 - Make me,

953
00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:18,400
All right,

954
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:24,500
Hey! Hey! Put the crowbar down!

955
00:54:24,600 --> 00:54:28,100
Or I will blow your ass to fucktown!

956
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:42,700
That's right,

957
00:54:44,100 --> 00:54:47,100
- Don't you ever threaten me, 
 - But... I got a gun,

958
00:54:49,300 --> 00:54:52,900
- What are you doing? 
 - Well, Tommy, we both have guns,

959
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:55,700
Only difference is, you don't 
 have the guts to use yours,

960
00:54:55,800 --> 00:55:00,300
Oh, yeah? 
 Well, what makes you so sure?

961
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:03,900
Oh, I'm sure,

962
00:55:08,500 --> 00:55:10,600
(trickling))

963
00:55:10,700 --> 00:55:17,000
Oh! Oh... Jesus! What the... 
 What are you, out of your mind?

964
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:20,800
- (phone ringing)) 
 - Stop that! Are you crazy, man?!

965
00:55:20,900 --> 00:55:22,700
(chimes))

966
00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:25,600
- Hello? 
 - (Taylor) Stansfield. Anything to report?

967
00:55:25,700 --> 00:55:29,400
Sir! Uh, everything's great, 
 I got... everything's under control,

968
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:31,400
- Did OJ get enough water? 
 - (TJ)) Whoa!

969
00:55:31,500 --> 00:55:33,800
Uh, OJ... What? Oh, yes,

970
00:55:33,900 --> 00:55:37,600
Uh, Jack, could you hold on? 
 I'm gonna shoot your pecker off,

971
00:55:37,700 --> 00:55:40,300
I don't plan on being away 
 the entire weekend.

972
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:41,500
- I hate you! I hate you! 
 - It's possible I may be

973
00:55:41,500 --> 00:55:45,800
coming home early, so make sure 
 that everything's in order.

974
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:46,800
Jesus!

975
00:55:46,900 --> 00:55:48,700
Oh, something I forgot to tell you.

976
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:51,800
- Sir? 
 - The fishtank. It's a little low.

977
00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:53,800
- I'm taking care of that right now, 
 - Good.

978
00:55:53,900 --> 00:55:56,600
When I get back, I want to talk to you 
 about that position in Creative.

979
00:55:56,700 --> 00:55:58,700
- Aah! 
 - Don't get excited yet.

980
00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:00,700
I didn't say you had the job. 
 We'll discuss it.

981
00:56:00,700 --> 00:56:04,000
Uh, thank you, sir, Uh, great, Bye,

982
00:56:05,900 --> 00:56:08,300
Holy shit!

983
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:14,000
I just...

984
00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:20,000
Boy, I'm tapped out, 
 You got anything to drink?

985
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:24,000
In the kitchen, Thanks,

986
00:56:28,500 --> 00:56:30,000
Dammit!

987
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:35,700
Whoa! What the hay happened in here? 
 Tom, did you have a little accident?

988
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:39,700
You might wanna try a few Kegels, 
 Kinda tighten it up down there,

989
00:56:39,800 --> 00:56:45,400
- That's it! 
 - I'm doing 'em right now, And release,

990
00:56:45,400 --> 00:56:49,300
Well, when in Rome...

991
00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:53,200
- (trickling)) 
 - . Oh, Canada

992
00:57:02,700 --> 00:57:07,400
"Jack Taylor, Rectacid, 
 Apply liberally to buttocks as needed

993
00:57:07,500 --> 00:57:12,000
to reduce redness 
 and other symptoms of folliculitis,"

994
00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:17,800
Son of a bitch,

995
00:57:17,900 --> 00:57:22,100
- Did you piss yourself? 
 - No, I did not piss myself,

996
00:57:22,100 --> 00:57:23,600
- Looks like you did, 
 - Well, I didn't,

997
00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:25,700
It was that maniac downstairs,

998
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:28,400
We gotta stop him before 
 he tears this house apart,

999
00:57:28,500 --> 00:57:31,600
You know what you gotta do? 
 Give him one of these little babies,

1000
00:57:31,700 --> 00:57:32,900
- What's that? 
 - It's a sleeping pill,

1001
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:36,800
I got 'em from Speed, Here, 
 So strong, so be careful,

1002
00:57:36,900 --> 00:57:38,900
- It's powerful stuff, 
 - Here, Just one,

1003
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:42,600
Be careful,

1004
00:57:46,100 --> 00:57:48,100
Hey, Excuse me,

1005
00:57:48,200 --> 00:57:51,800
You know, I just wanted to apologize 
 for pulling that gun on you earlier,

1006
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:55,300
That was totally out of line,

1007
00:57:55,300 --> 00:57:57,800
Hey, you know, I don't 
 even know your name,

1008
00:57:57,800 --> 00:58:01,100
- I'm TJ, 
 - TJ? That's nice,

1009
00:58:01,100 --> 00:58:06,700
I guess maybe I was out of line 
 by pissing all over everything,

1010
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:11,400
Man... that was funny, (laughs))

1011
00:58:11,500 --> 00:58:16,100
Yeah, I've always enjoyed a good prank, 
 What are you drinking there?

1012
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:18,400
Whiskey, You want some?

1013
00:58:18,500 --> 00:58:19,900
There's plenty of booze 
 around here, that's for sure,

1014
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:22,600
Yeah, I'll take a shot of bourbon,

1015
00:58:22,700 --> 00:58:25,700
- Oh, my God! Wow! 
 - What?

1016
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:27,800
Whoa! Look at those 
 two blondes going at...

1017
00:58:27,900 --> 00:58:29,700
- Oh, wait, are there three of them? 
 - Where?

1018
00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:32,700
They're going at it right up there 
 on the second floor,

1019
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:38,600
- Where are you looking? 
 - Right th... uh... Oh, man, they left,

1020
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:40,200
(chuckles))

1021
00:58:40,300 --> 00:58:44,500
Damn, I was all psyched up 
 for some action,

1022
00:58:44,500 --> 00:58:47,800
Lesbians are very special,

1023
00:58:47,900 --> 00:58:51,300
Oh... Hey, I'll drink to that, huh?

1024
00:58:52,500 --> 00:58:55,500
- Cheers, 
 - All right,

1025
00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:57,900
Mmm,

1026
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:00,700
- (grunts)) 
 - Oh, are you...

1027
00:59:00,700 --> 00:59:03,400
- Whoa, 
 - Here, Why don't I...

1028
00:59:03,500 --> 00:59:08,000
- (glass breaks)) 
 - Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa,

1029
00:59:08,100 --> 00:59:10,100
(steps on glass))

1030
00:59:12,700 --> 00:59:15,700
- Whoa, 
 - (gong))

1031
00:59:19,600 --> 00:59:23,500
- Audrey? 
 - (babbling))

1032
00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:26,900
Audrey!

1033
00:59:26,900 --> 00:59:31,300
(gasps)) Oh, my God! 
 He's like a human vibrator,

1034
00:59:31,400 --> 00:59:33,600
What... All right, 
 what is wrong with him?

1035
00:59:33,700 --> 00:59:36,200
- I don't know, Did you slip him the pill? 
 - Yes,

1036
00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:37,200
Then that must be it then,

1037
00:59:37,300 --> 00:59:39,200
You didn't give him the pill 
 with whiskey, did you?

1038
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:41,200
- Yeah, 
 - Oh, no!

1039
00:59:41,300 --> 00:59:44,900
- You're not supposed to mix the two, 
 - Audrey, you did not tell me that!

1040
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:47,500
Everyone knows that you're not 
 supposed to mix booze with pills!

1041
00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:50,500
- Come on! 
 - OK, Is he gonna be OK?

1042
00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:53,500
Don't worry, He'll be fine, 
 I used to be a paramedic,

1043
00:59:53,600 --> 00:59:57,400
- Tom? I think I found OJ, 
 - OJ? I don't care about...

1044
00:59:57,500 --> 01:00:00,200
We have a situation here, 
 Audrey, call 911!

1045
01:00:00,300 --> 01:00:03,100
- I'm telling ya, he'll be fine, 
 - Are you sure?

1046
01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:06,500
- He just needs some rest, I'm positive, 
 - OK, You watch TJ, Use this,

1047
01:00:06,600 --> 01:00:09,300
It's not loaded, but he doesn't know that,

1048
01:00:09,400 --> 01:00:10,900
- (doorbell) 
 - Oh, man!

1049
01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:15,600
- Oh, hey, 
 - Julie,

1050
01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:17,900
- From... yeah, 
 - Down the block, That's right,

1051
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:19,100
You mind if I come in?

1052
01:00:19,100 --> 01:00:20,300
(Audrey)) All right, You grab his ankles...

1053
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:22,400
Why don't we go 
 to that room over there?

1054
01:00:22,500 --> 01:00:26,100
- (Speed) OK, yeah, I got this end, 
 - (Audrey)) Man, he's heavy,

1055
01:00:26,100 --> 01:00:30,500
Do you mind if I sit down?

1056
01:00:30,500 --> 01:00:34,700
- Uh... yeah, Sure, 
 - Thank you,

1057
01:00:38,500 --> 01:00:41,900
Oh, hey, Sorry to butt in, Hi, I'm Red,

1058
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:44,300
- Hi, it's nice to meet you, 
 - Nice to meet ya,

1059
01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:47,900
Anyway, I realized you were telling 
 the truth when my real date showed up,

1060
01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:52,500
- Of course he didn't stick around, 
 - Well, that guy is a bum,

1061
01:00:52,600 --> 01:00:54,600
Well, I'm sure that had 
 nothing to do with you,

1062
01:00:54,700 --> 01:00:56,100
No, I know it did,

1063
01:00:56,100 --> 01:00:59,900
I've never had any guys attracted to me, 
 even before the accident,

1064
01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:02,100
Now that cannot be true,

1065
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:05,600
Well... about six months ago, 
 I was hitchhiking

1066
01:01:05,700 --> 01:01:08,700
and a trucker tried to rape me, 
 but other than that...

1067
01:01:08,800 --> 01:01:12,200
Come on, You're gonna tell me, 
 you never had a real boyfriend?

1068
01:01:12,300 --> 01:01:16,200
Well, once, but I think 
 he just felt sorry for me,

1069
01:01:16,300 --> 01:01:19,500
Oh, well, uh... how long did that last?

1070
01:01:19,600 --> 01:01:24,000
Um... about six years 
 and then one day, he just left,

1071
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:27,900
- Another woman? 
 - No, He got hit by a bus,

1072
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:29,600
(Red) Well, see that's not your fault,

1073
01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:32,100
Well, he didn't seem to try 
 very hard to avoid the bus,

1074
01:01:32,100 --> 01:01:34,700
I think he just wanted 
 out of the relationship,

1075
01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:37,400
Julie, why don't you sit in this chair?

1076
01:01:37,400 --> 01:01:39,800
Oh, geez, I'm starting 
 to feel a bit woozy,

1077
01:01:39,900 --> 01:01:42,000
(blood squishes))

1078
01:01:42,100 --> 01:01:45,300
OK, All right, I have to go find OJ,

1079
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:49,900
So, Red, if you could watch things 
 for me, that'd be great,

1080
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:53,100
Got ya,

1081
01:01:56,300 --> 01:01:59,800
Look, I think you're being 
 way too hard on yourself,

1082
01:01:59,900 --> 01:02:04,100
I mean, besides, I bet there've been a lot 
 of guys who've been attracted to you,

1083
01:02:04,200 --> 01:02:06,800
No, he was the only one,

1084
01:02:06,900 --> 01:02:10,600
What about that trucker? I mean, 
 he was obviously attracted to you,

1085
01:02:10,600 --> 01:02:13,600
(sighs)) I think the trucker probably 
 would have raped anyone,

1086
01:02:13,600 --> 01:02:17,400
I doubt that, You were probably 
 pretty special to him,

1087
01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:19,600
(chuckles)) So sweet of you, Red,

1088
01:02:19,700 --> 01:02:22,900
I'm not just jerking 
 your chain either, I mean it,

1089
01:02:22,900 --> 01:02:25,800
- (giggles)) 
 - Yeah, (chuckles))

1090
01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:34,600
- What are you doing to the lawn? 
 - It's OK, Tom, We just had to bury TJ,

1091
01:02:34,700 --> 01:02:38,400
Bury... what? You mean, he's...

1092
01:02:39,400 --> 01:02:42,500
You said he was gonna be OK! 
 I thought you were a paramedic,

1093
01:02:42,600 --> 01:02:46,000
- Well, I took a course, 
 - You took... you-you guy...

1094
01:02:46,100 --> 01:02:48,000
You can't just bury him, you guys!

1095
01:02:48,100 --> 01:02:49,900
Well, we're not gonna put him in my car,

1096
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:53,500
- (Audrey)) That's right, 
 - All right, Forget it, I'm calling 91 1 ,

1097
01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:56,400
- That's for emergencies, 
 - What do you think this is?

1098
01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:59,600
The guy's dead, In 20 minutes, 
 he's still gonna be dead,

1099
01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:02,100
- There's no sense of urgency here, 
 - (chuckles))

1100
01:03:02,100 --> 01:03:05,200
No, we have to call the cops 
 and report it!

1101
01:03:05,300 --> 01:03:10,500
- And tell 'em what? 
 - The truth! That there was a... accident,

1102
01:03:10,600 --> 01:03:15,000
- They might not see it that way, 
 - Let's face it, Tom, You did kill him,

1103
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:18,500
- You gave me the pill, 
 - Hey, I didn't tell you to kill nobody, OK?

1104
01:03:18,500 --> 01:03:20,200
Well, you didn't tell me 
 not to use the whiskey!

1105
01:03:20,300 --> 01:03:23,400
- Well, if you'd listen to me... 
 - You didn't say anything about whiskey!

1106
01:03:23,500 --> 01:03:25,300
- (whistles)) 
 - I would think you would listen to me!

1107
01:03:25,300 --> 01:03:26,800
There's no time for blame games,

1108
01:03:26,900 --> 01:03:29,600
Why don't you spread around 
 some leaves? Make it look good,

1109
01:03:29,700 --> 01:03:32,800
I am not gonna help 
 you conceal a dead body!

1110
01:03:32,800 --> 01:03:36,000
Hey, you know what? Don't you 
 think we should say something?

1111
01:03:36,100 --> 01:03:37,300
- What? 
 - You know what? She's right,

1112
01:03:37,400 --> 01:03:40,100
Some kind of last rites or eulogy 
 or something like that?

1113
01:03:40,200 --> 01:03:42,500
- I'm so screwed, 
 - We should say something,

1114
01:03:42,500 --> 01:03:49,100
Fine, fine, You know what? Say 
 something, Get... just make it quick,

1115
01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:55,200
Lord, this day we lay to rest TJ, 
 who was, uh...

1116
01:03:55,800 --> 01:03:57,800
- I really didn't know him, 
 - I don't know him,

1117
01:03:57,900 --> 01:03:59,700
I mean, Tom, you know him the best, 
 Why don't you say something?

1118
01:03:59,700 --> 01:04:01,200
- Me? 
 - Yeah,

1119
01:04:01,300 --> 01:04:05,800
All I know is that the guy was a violent, 
 sadistic goon that was into lesbians,

1120
01:04:05,900 --> 01:04:08,200
Amen,

1121
01:04:08,300 --> 01:04:11,700
- Tom? 
 - Lisa,

1122
01:04:11,800 --> 01:04:14,500
- I can't believe you're still here, 
 - Listen, please,

1123
01:04:14,600 --> 01:04:15,800
You have to let me explain,

1124
01:04:15,800 --> 01:04:19,600
Look, Tom, Tonight was just a 
 big mistake, That's all there is to it,

1125
01:04:19,700 --> 01:04:26,500
No, you... that... what you saw with 
 the girls, all that was was weird timing,

1126
01:04:26,600 --> 01:04:29,300
Red? What's Red doing here?

1127
01:04:29,400 --> 01:04:33,400
Red? Oh, uh, Red 
 was in the neighborhood

1128
01:04:33,400 --> 01:04:34,900
and he-and he stopped by,

1129
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:38,200
But, you see, nothing really 
 bad happened tonight,

1130
01:04:38,200 --> 01:04:44,000
- Is he the reason OJ's gone? 
 - No, No, uh... OJ got loose,

1131
01:04:44,000 --> 01:04:46,600
And that's a little problem, 
 But we're gonna find him,

1132
01:04:46,700 --> 01:04:49,100
And we're looking for him, so...

1133
01:04:49,200 --> 01:04:50,600
What's this?

1134
01:04:50,700 --> 01:04:54,700
Oh, uh, Tom killed a guy 
 and we're burying the body,

1135
01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:57,000
- OK, that was bad, 
 - Aah!

1136
01:04:57,100 --> 01:05:00,200
OK, well, now you're 
 overreacting, It's not...

1137
01:05:00,300 --> 01:05:01,900
- Oh! 
 - Aah!

1138
01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:09,900
(all yelling))

1139
01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:11,700
All right, all right, hey,

1140
01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:17,400
Anybody moves, there's gonna be 
 a big hole where her brain used to be,

1141
01:05:19,600 --> 01:05:22,800
Yeah, Go ahead, shoot,

1142
01:05:23,700 --> 01:05:25,800
Well, what are you waiting for? 
 Come on!

1143
01:05:25,900 --> 01:05:27,200
What are you waiting for?! 
 Waste the bitch!

1144
01:05:27,300 --> 01:05:29,200
- Tom! 
 - No, I don't give a shit!

1145
01:05:29,300 --> 01:05:33,000
- Hey, I'm not joking, asshole, 
 - Yeah?

1146
01:05:33,000 --> 01:05:36,800
Pull the trigger, Come on, Come on!

1147
01:05:38,600 --> 01:05:42,400
I think you're just all talk,

1148
01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:48,900
Looks like we both got guns,

1149
01:05:50,500 --> 01:05:53,400
Who's gonna shoot first this time?

1150
01:05:56,600 --> 01:05:59,200
(chuckles))

1151
01:05:59,300 --> 01:06:01,500
(groans))

1152
01:06:01,500 --> 01:06:03,700
(Red) Well, that should do it,

1153
01:06:03,800 --> 01:06:06,800
Tom! You are so brave,

1154
01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:10,100
No, no, It's not even that big of a deal, 
 This gun's not even loaded...

1155
01:06:10,100 --> 01:06:11,300
- (gunshot) 
 - (grunt)

1156
01:06:11,400 --> 01:06:13,300
(man)) What the hell is going on?

1157
01:06:13,400 --> 01:06:16,800
I never should have doubted you, 
 You risked your life for me,

1158
01:06:16,900 --> 01:06:19,700
Audrey found some bullets in 
 the kitchen and I may have reloaded it,

1159
01:06:19,800 --> 01:06:21,800
Yeah, I did,

1160
01:06:21,900 --> 01:06:26,100
Yo, excuse me, Does anyone here 
 know a Jack Taylor?

1161
01:06:26,100 --> 01:06:27,500
Why?

1162
01:06:27,600 --> 01:06:31,400
This dude just called, said if I don't pick 
 him up at the train station in 15 minutes,

1163
01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:34,400
I'm out of a job, What do 
 you suppose that means?

1164
01:06:34,500 --> 01:06:35,600
Oh, my God,

1165
01:06:35,700 --> 01:06:37,700
That's what I thought, 
 'cause I ain't got no job,

1166
01:06:37,700 --> 01:06:39,600
- He's coming home early, 
 - OK, don't worry about it,

1167
01:06:39,700 --> 01:06:42,800
I'll take care of everything, OK? 
 Trust me, Just don't drive too fast,

1168
01:06:42,800 --> 01:06:44,200
Got it,

1169
01:06:44,200 --> 01:06:46,800
And, um, maybe you 
 should put that away,

1170
01:06:46,900 --> 01:06:50,300
Oh, God,

1171
01:06:50,500 --> 01:06:52,800
(. "Go Home" by Barenaked Ladies))

1172
01:07:05,300 --> 01:07:07,300
Ooh,

1173
01:07:09,900 --> 01:07:11,600
(squeaks))

1174
01:07:22,500 --> 01:07:25,300
(sighs))

1175
01:07:29,200 --> 01:07:32,200
(. whistling))

1176
01:07:40,900 --> 01:07:44,300
I knew that was you,

1177
01:08:20,800 --> 01:08:22,200
(beer bottles clank)

1178
01:09:09,800 --> 01:09:13,600
(Taylor) As long as we're in Thailand 
 for the meeting on Monday afternoon,

1179
01:09:13,700 --> 01:09:17,900
Yeah, We can pick it up 
 when we refuel in Hawaii,

1180
01:09:18,500 --> 01:09:21,400
Hey, uh, do you wanna stop 
 and, uh, get something to drink,

1181
01:09:21,400 --> 01:09:22,700
go to the bathroom or something?

1182
01:09:22,800 --> 01:09:24,900
We'll take the departmental heads now

1183
01:09:25,000 --> 01:09:28,300
and the Creative team 
 in a couple of weeks,

1184
01:09:28,400 --> 01:09:29,700
(squeaks))

1185
01:09:37,800 --> 01:09:39,900
That's the agenda up to lunch, 
 then there's lunch...

1186
01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:43,100
(squawking))

1187
01:09:48,800 --> 01:09:52,600
- OK, And then... 
 - (squawks))

1188
01:09:52,700 --> 01:09:56,300
- (horns honk) 
 - (tires screech))

1189
01:09:56,400 --> 01:09:59,700
OK, OK,

1190
01:10:01,200 --> 01:10:03,500
OK, fine,

1191
01:10:07,400 --> 01:10:12,200
- Stansfield, what are you doing? 
 - Nothing, sir,

1192
01:10:12,300 --> 01:10:15,000
Hold on a moment, please,

1193
01:10:15,100 --> 01:10:20,000
Stansfield... why don't you 
 just concentrate on the driving

1194
01:10:20,000 --> 01:10:23,000
and let me get on with making my call,

1195
01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:25,700
- Wait! 
 - What is it now, Stansfield?

1196
01:10:25,800 --> 01:10:30,200
Oh, nothing, sir, Almost home,

1197
01:10:48,400 --> 01:10:52,700
- Hey, How'd this get in there? 
 - Oh, be careful with that,

1198
01:10:52,800 --> 01:10:54,700
I will, Good thing I found it,

1199
01:10:54,700 --> 01:10:57,700
There's several ways to properly 
 dispose of a handgun,

1200
01:10:57,800 --> 01:11:00,300
none of which include 
 putting it in a garbage bag,

1201
01:11:00,300 --> 01:11:03,400
(cop over megaphone)) 
 Freeze! Police! Freeze!

1202
01:11:03,500 --> 01:11:05,400
Let go of the girl 
 and put your hands in the air!

1203
01:11:05,500 --> 01:11:07,300
You're completely surrounded, TJ!

1204
01:11:07,300 --> 01:11:09,900
Put down your weapons 
 and put your hands on you head!

1205
01:11:09,900 --> 01:11:15,300
No, you guys, Wait, He's not TJ, 
 I'm Lisa Taylor, This is my dad's house,

1206
01:11:15,400 --> 01:11:17,300
Ma'am, we've received 
 numerous reports

1207
01:11:17,300 --> 01:11:18,800
from this neighborhood: theft, gunfire...

1208
01:11:18,800 --> 01:11:23,100
All right, Look, I know you probably 
 think we may have killed somebody,

1209
01:11:23,100 --> 01:11:24,900
but Tom didn't know 
 he poisoned the guy,

1210
01:11:24,900 --> 01:11:28,900
and we thought he was dead when 
 we buried him, But he seems OK now,

1211
01:11:28,900 --> 01:11:32,400
His head's just a little bloody 
 from where we hit him with the shovel,

1212
01:11:32,400 --> 01:11:35,500
And I swear when Tom shot the gun off, 
 he didn't think it was loaded

1213
01:11:35,600 --> 01:11:39,000
'cause I put the bullets back in, 
 so if you'll all just step inside,

1214
01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:41,200
you'll see there's nobody dead here,

1215
01:11:41,300 --> 01:11:43,200
He may have had the wind 
 knocked out of him temporarily,

1216
01:11:43,300 --> 01:11:45,800
but with a little first aid, 
 I think he'll be just fine,

1217
01:11:45,900 --> 01:11:48,400
(screaming))

1218
01:11:48,500 --> 01:11:50,300
(screaming))

1219
01:11:50,300 --> 01:11:55,600
- (screams)) 
 - (screams))

1220
01:11:55,600 --> 01:11:57,700
Holy mother of God!

1221
01:12:00,100 --> 01:12:01,500
(Lisa)) Hans!

1222
01:12:01,600 --> 01:12:03,800
Yes, I see, I see,

1223
01:12:03,900 --> 01:12:05,900
- (squeaks)) 
 - OK, fine,

1224
01:12:06,000 --> 01:12:07,200
- (squawking)) 
 - Whoa!

1225
01:12:07,300 --> 01:12:09,800
Could you say that again? 
 You're breaking up!

1226
01:12:09,900 --> 01:12:15,100
One moment, please, OJ!

1227
01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:17,000
(tires screeching))

1228
01:12:24,400 --> 01:12:29,300
I just can't understand why you would 
 do this, Hans, what were you thinking?

1229
01:12:29,300 --> 01:12:31,700
He'll be fine, He may complain 
 about a sore throat,

1230
01:12:31,800 --> 01:12:34,400
but he's in a lot better shape 
 than this chandelier,

1231
01:12:34,500 --> 01:12:35,900
Well, I'd hate to be here 
 when the owner gets back,

1232
01:12:36,700 --> 01:12:38,800
You can say that again,

1233
01:12:38,900 --> 01:12:40,400
- (man)) Whoa! 
 - (car horn))

1234
01:12:43,000 --> 01:12:44,400
- Tom! Daddy! 
 - What do we got?

1235
01:12:44,400 --> 01:12:46,600
- What was that? 
 - Watch the glass, OK, everybody?

1236
01:12:46,700 --> 01:12:48,700
- Let's get 'em out of the car, 
 - Oh, my God! Daddy!

1237
01:12:48,800 --> 01:12:51,000
- Everybody, stay back and remain calm, 
 - (Lisa)) Are you all right?

1238
01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:53,300
That's him, That's the one spying 
 on me through the bushes,

1239
01:12:53,400 --> 01:12:55,500
He shot the bullet right through 
 my Julie's bedroom window,

1240
01:12:55,600 --> 01:12:58,700
Here, Tell 'em, Julie,

1241
01:12:59,400 --> 01:13:02,100
You guys, Tom wants the body in here,

1242
01:13:02,200 --> 01:13:04,700
- (TJ)) Take it easy, Put me down, 
 - (gasps))

1243
01:13:06,000 --> 01:13:09,500
Stansfield, what have you done?

1244
01:13:09,600 --> 01:13:13,200
Lisa, pack your things, 
 You're coming with me to Thailand,

1245
01:13:14,600 --> 01:13:17,700
No!

1246
01:13:20,100 --> 01:13:22,500
Get his ass out of here,

1247
01:13:22,600 --> 01:13:26,600
It's funny you should mention 
 the word "ass", Jack,

1248
01:13:26,600 --> 01:13:29,700
Why don't we start 
 by talking about yours,

1249
01:13:29,700 --> 01:13:30,700
Excuse me?

1250
01:13:30,800 --> 01:13:34,900
Lisa, your father is not 
 who you think he is,

1251
01:13:34,900 --> 01:13:39,700
The whole publishing operation, 
 It's a great cover,

1252
01:13:39,700 --> 01:13:43,700
Now how'd you do it? What'd you do? 
 Did you hollow out the books?

1253
01:13:43,700 --> 01:13:48,200
Oh, and locating the plant 
 in Thailand, It's genius!

1254
01:13:49,500 --> 01:13:53,500
- What are you talking about? 
 - What am l... Jack,

1255
01:13:53,600 --> 01:13:58,300
You know, I-I would've believed 
 you, Jack... until I met this man,

1256
01:13:58,400 --> 01:14:00,600
who seems to know a lot about ya,

1257
01:14:02,500 --> 01:14:07,900
Recognize this? I hear it's very 
 effective in relieving folliculitis,

1258
01:14:08,000 --> 01:14:11,200
I don't have folliculitis,

1259
01:14:11,200 --> 01:14:14,900
He's given me no choice,

1260
01:14:14,900 --> 01:14:16,800
- He's given me no choice! 
 - Tom, what are you doing?

1261
01:14:16,900 --> 01:14:19,600
- This is insane! 
 - Yeah? Take a look at your dad's ass,

1262
01:14:19,600 --> 01:14:21,400
- No! 
 - Then tell me I'm insane, huh?

1263
01:14:21,500 --> 01:14:26,000
- (all) Oh! Ooh! 
 - Huh? Huh? Look at it!

1264
01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:28,600
Look at it! Huh? Huh?

1265
01:14:28,700 --> 01:14:30,600
- Ooh... 
 - What?

1266
01:14:35,400 --> 01:14:37,400
(man)) Oh, that's nasty,

1267
01:14:42,800 --> 01:14:48,300
I told you I don't have folliculitis, 
 you blithering idiot,

1268
01:14:48,400 --> 01:14:54,100
Well, guys, the ointment 
 must have worked,

1269
01:14:54,200 --> 01:14:56,300
Let's go,

1270
01:14:56,400 --> 01:15:00,700
Wait! I have something to show ya,

1271
01:15:02,500 --> 01:15:04,700
(all) Oh!

1272
01:15:04,700 --> 01:15:06,000
(Hans)) What's with this movie 
 and the ass cheeks?

1273
01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:11,300
My real name is Jack Taylor... Jr, 
 Red is my nickname,

1274
01:15:11,400 --> 01:15:15,300
Now you know why, 
 I'm the whole reason that TJ's here,

1275
01:15:15,400 --> 01:15:19,500
Goddamn it, Red, You've been 
 dealing drugs out of my house!

1276
01:15:19,600 --> 01:15:23,600
No, Dad, I swear, 
 I gave this guy a bag of flour,

1277
01:15:23,700 --> 01:15:27,000
I dumped a kilo of the real stuff 
 down the toilet,

1278
01:15:27,100 --> 01:15:29,200
I'm finished dealing for good,

1279
01:15:29,300 --> 01:15:32,400
The lime green toilet 
 with the wooden seat?

1280
01:15:33,200 --> 01:15:35,600
- Yeah, why? 
 - (squawking))

1281
01:15:35,700 --> 01:15:46,500
(all) Ooh!

1282
01:15:46,500 --> 01:15:48,200
(all) Whoa!

1283
01:15:48,200 --> 01:15:53,000
Wait a second, He's flying,

1284
01:15:53,000 --> 01:15:55,900
He's flying,

1285
01:15:59,800 --> 01:16:02,100
(squawking))

1286
01:16:03,500 --> 01:16:06,700
(all) Whoa!

1287
01:16:09,700 --> 01:16:10,900
- (OJ squeals)) 
 - (car horn))

1288
01:16:11,000 --> 01:16:14,500
- (tires screeching)) 
 - (crash))

1289
01:16:15,500 --> 01:16:21,200
Get him out of my sight, Now, 
 Lisa, let's go,

1290
01:16:23,400 --> 01:16:26,000
That's the one, He got my ear! 
 Evander Holyfield's ear,

1291
01:16:26,100 --> 01:16:28,800
You have to right to remain silent, 
 Anything you say can and...

1292
01:16:28,900 --> 01:16:30,700
Lisa, wait!

1293
01:16:30,800 --> 01:16:33,500
(Arthur) That's Holyfield's ear 
 for God's sake,

1294
01:16:33,600 --> 01:16:36,500
(thunder rolling))

1295
01:16:54,000 --> 01:16:57,800
- (squawking)) 
 - OJ?

1296
01:16:59,400 --> 01:17:04,700
OJ! Come to Daddy, 
 How's my little boy?

1297
01:17:06,800 --> 01:17:10,000
(squawking))

1298
01:17:18,000 --> 01:17:24,600
- You're going with him? 
 - What choice do I have? He needs me,

1299
01:17:24,600 --> 01:17:27,300
Are you actually feeling sorry for him?

1300
01:17:27,300 --> 01:17:30,900
He's manipulating you 
 and you are buying it,

1301
01:17:31,800 --> 01:17:35,600
All right, fine, You do what you gotta do, 
 I am gonna bail Tom out of jail,

1302
01:17:35,700 --> 01:17:36,800
With what? Your drug money?

1303
01:17:36,900 --> 01:17:38,900
No, no, no, I stole this out of Dad's safe,

1304
01:17:39,000 --> 01:17:42,000
Look, the important thing is, 
 somebody has gotta help Tom,

1305
01:17:42,100 --> 01:17:45,800
You know that nothing that happened 
 here last night was any of his fault,

1306
01:17:45,800 --> 01:17:50,300
It's funny, The nicest guy in the world's 
 the only one with enough balls

1307
01:17:50,400 --> 01:17:52,700
to stand up to Dad,

1308
01:17:56,000 --> 01:18:00,300
All he wanted to do was 
 to spend some time with you,

1309
01:18:00,300 --> 01:18:02,500
Look what it gets him,

1310
01:18:02,600 --> 01:18:07,400
Classic Dad, I'm not allowed in the 
 house, you're not allowed out of it,

1311
01:18:07,500 --> 01:18:10,900
He doesn't care about us, 
 Only that stupid bird,

1312
01:18:12,300 --> 01:18:16,000
- Hey, Red, can I tell you something? 
 - Sure,

1313
01:18:16,100 --> 01:18:20,600
I know this is gonna sound weird, 
 but ever since I was a little kid...

1314
01:18:22,800 --> 01:18:27,600
I used to always wish 
 that I was that stupid bird,

1315
01:18:28,800 --> 01:18:30,600
Aw,

1316
01:18:30,700 --> 01:18:34,200
(squawks))

1317
01:18:37,800 --> 01:18:41,300
Look, I think it's about time 
 you talk to Dad,

1318
01:18:41,400 --> 01:18:45,200
At least tell him how you feel, 
 You can do it,

1319
01:18:45,200 --> 01:18:46,600
(grunts))

1320
01:18:46,700 --> 01:18:49,600
(yells))

1321
01:18:49,600 --> 01:18:53,300
Don't you see, we have no reason 
 to be afraid of him?

1322
01:18:53,400 --> 01:18:55,500
- Aah! 
 - (screaming))

1323
01:18:55,600 --> 01:18:57,500
Aah!

1324
01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:06,200
(grunting)) Aah!

1325
01:19:06,200 --> 01:19:07,400
- (yells)) 
 - (thud)

1326
01:19:07,400 --> 01:19:12,200
- Daddy! 
 - Lisa, don't let him do this to you,

1327
01:19:12,300 --> 01:19:16,500
Lisa! Aah!

1328
01:19:37,000 --> 01:19:40,200
- Lisa! 
 - Tom!

1329
01:19:40,300 --> 01:19:44,000
Red bailed me out... and told me you 
 were here and I'm not letting you go,

1330
01:19:44,100 --> 01:19:46,600
- Yeah, but I'm... 
 - No, You're gonna let me finish,

1331
01:19:46,700 --> 01:19:50,100
I went through hell last night and it was 
 my fault 'cause I let people do it to me,

1332
01:19:50,200 --> 01:19:51,900
And now you're gonna 
 make the same mistake,

1333
01:19:52,000 --> 01:19:53,700
- Yeah, but... 
 - This isn't what you want,

1334
01:19:53,800 --> 01:19:56,800
This is what your father wants, 
 And you know what?

1335
01:19:56,900 --> 01:20:03,000
Maybe you and l... never 
 are gonna work, And that hurts,

1336
01:20:03,000 --> 01:20:07,300
But not as much as watching you 
 be controlled by a ruthless tyrant

1337
01:20:07,300 --> 01:20:09,900
that would screw his own mother 
 if he thought it'd help him get ahead...

1338
01:20:10,000 --> 01:20:21,400
Tom! I'm not going,

1339
01:20:21,500 --> 01:20:23,500
She's-she's not going,

1340
01:20:26,700 --> 01:20:30,700
Is this whole concept too complicated 
 for you, Stansfield?

1341
01:20:41,000 --> 01:20:45,100
No, No,

1342
01:20:45,200 --> 01:20:47,800
All right, (chuckles))

1343
01:20:47,900 --> 01:20:51,200
Wha... I... What made you stay?

1344
01:20:59,300 --> 01:21:01,300
That,

1345
01:21:08,100 --> 01:21:14,100
- How did you guys... 
 - We finally had our long overdue talk,

1346
01:21:14,900 --> 01:21:17,800
Then-then who's taking 
 your place in Thailand?

1347
01:21:17,900 --> 01:21:19,500
- He is, 
 - (gong))

1348
01:21:19,600 --> 01:21:20,900
- What's this? 
 - (neck cracks)) Ow!

1349
01:21:21,000 --> 01:21:24,200
- I'm kidding, 
 - I don't wanna go, I'm afraid,

1350
01:21:24,300 --> 01:21:27,300
Nonsense, Everyone knows that, uh...

1351
01:21:27,400 --> 01:21:30,700
Asian people are very 
 intimidated by, uh...

1352
01:21:30,800 --> 01:21:32,800
- Tall men? 
 - Canadians?

1353
01:21:32,900 --> 01:21:35,600
- Republicans? 
 - Blacks?

1354
01:21:35,700 --> 01:21:37,500
- Henderson? 
 - Yes, sir,

1355
01:21:37,600 --> 01:21:39,300
I won't have that kind of thinking 
 in this company,

1356
01:21:39,300 --> 01:21:42,200
There's no room for racism here, 
 You're fired,

1357
01:21:42,300 --> 01:21:47,000
Now, Tom, the point that I'm getting to 
 is that with a big part of the team away,

1358
01:21:47,100 --> 01:21:49,900
I'm gonna want you to take over 
 the Creative Department,

1359
01:21:49,900 --> 01:21:52,200
- Me? 
 - No need to be modest,

1360
01:21:52,200 --> 01:21:55,300
I saw those ideas you left 
 in the living room,

1361
01:21:55,400 --> 01:22:00,200
Your theory on the JFK thing, brilliant, 
 And the moon landing, a hoax?

1362
01:22:00,200 --> 01:22:02,300
You're really on to something there,

1363
01:22:02,400 --> 01:22:06,400
That's the kind of thinking 
 that's gonna sell books,

1364
01:22:06,500 --> 01:22:10,400
Uh, thank you, sir,

1365
01:22:10,500 --> 01:22:14,100
Bye, Daddy, Have a safe flight,

1366
01:22:17,600 --> 01:22:22,100
Well, Dad... that's fantastic, 
 You promoted Tom,

1367
01:22:22,200 --> 01:22:25,700
Yeah, well, I figure anyone who's got 
 the guts to piss on my Persian carpet

1368
01:22:25,800 --> 01:22:30,600
has gotta have what it takes, 
 Stansfield!

1369
01:22:30,600 --> 01:22:34,000
(trickling))

1370
01:22:36,000 --> 01:22:41,300
- What the hell are you doing? 
 - Just trying to get my job back, sir,

1371
01:22:41,400 --> 01:22:43,400
(. "If I Had $ 1000000" 
 by Barenaked Ladies))

1372
01:22:43,500 --> 01:22:46,200
- (Lisa squeals)) 
 - (chuckles))

1373
01:22:46,300 --> 01:22:50,300
(Tom)) You know, after everything 
 that happened, after all I went through,

1374
01:22:50,300 --> 01:22:54,300
I guess it was my lucky day. 
 And I'm not the only one.

1375
01:22:54,300 --> 01:22:56,400
Based on Lisa and Red's suggestions,

1376
01:22:56,500 --> 01:22:59,100
Jack restructured the company 
 from top to bottom.

1377
01:22:59,100 --> 01:23:02,800
Even instituting casual 
 Fridays every day.

1378
01:23:02,800 --> 01:23:06,100
And last Friday was Henderson's 
 27th straight day on the job

1379
01:23:06,100 --> 01:23:07,600
without being fired.

1380
01:23:07,700 --> 01:23:10,700
OJ's back off the drugs 
 and now he only drinks beer.

1381
01:23:10,800 --> 01:23:12,800
(burps))

1382
01:23:12,800 --> 01:23:15,500
(chuckles)) But he still has 
 an occasional flashback.

1383
01:23:15,600 --> 01:23:18,100
(squawks))

1384
01:23:18,200 --> 01:23:20,700
Jack begged Audrey to come back, 
 but she got a job

1385
01:23:20,700 --> 01:23:22,700
at, of all places, a coffee shop.

1386
01:23:22,800 --> 01:23:25,100
- Ew! 
 - Ugh!

1387
01:23:26,900 --> 01:23:28,900
- Ew! 
 - Ew!

1388
01:23:29,000 --> 01:23:31,800
This is terrible!

1389
01:23:31,800 --> 01:23:35,500
Hans succeeded in turning around 
 the company's factory in Thailand.

1390
01:23:35,500 --> 01:23:38,000
But apparently he's still struggling 
 to cope with the local customs.

1391
01:23:38,100 --> 01:23:40,500
- Back of bus! 
 - Excuse me?

1392
01:23:40,500 --> 01:23:43,900
- You people belong back of bus, 
 - That's an outrage!

1393
01:23:44,000 --> 01:23:46,900
Man, I'm not gonna let you treat me 
 like that merely because I'm...

1394
01:23:46,900 --> 01:23:49,800
Smoking! Smokers belong back of bus!

1395
01:23:49,900 --> 01:23:52,800
(coughing))

1396
01:23:52,900 --> 01:23:55,100
As for me, with my new promotion,

1397
01:23:55,200 --> 01:23:58,200
I could at last write books 
 based on my own experiences.

1398
01:23:58,200 --> 01:23:59,700
- So I did. 
 - Thank you,

1399
01:23:59,700 --> 01:24:03,500
And Lisa was finally able to pursue 
 a career that she loved.

1400
01:24:03,600 --> 01:24:06,400
You know, you ever heard 
 someone say that old expression.:

1401
01:24:06,500 --> 01:24:09,700
"Why does everything bad 
 always happen to me?"

1402
01:24:09,800 --> 01:24:13,800
Well, I don't get those people... 
 'cause I've learned that if they just stop

1403
01:24:13,800 --> 01:24:20,600
and look around, they'd realize 
 that everything happens for a reason.

1404
01:24:21,100 --> 01:24:24,100
(. "If I Had $ 1000000" 
 by Barenaked Ladies continues))

1405
01:25:53,100 --> 01:25:56,100
(. "Burn the Boats" by Early Edison))

1406
01:29:56,800 --> 01:30:00,700
(TJ)) I told him he'd see 
 the ass sooner or later.