1 00:00:03,544 --> 00:00:08,102 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:24,298 --> 00:00:26,464 Hello? Mr. Porter? 3 00:00:35,589 --> 00:00:37,505 Are you Chulu Porter? 4 00:00:37,589 --> 00:00:39,339 - Who are you? - Um... 5 00:00:39,464 --> 00:00:42,755 My name is Larry David, and I've been looking all over for you. 6 00:00:42,839 --> 00:00:45,714 - Oh. Come on in. - Thank you. 7 00:00:45,797 --> 00:00:47,797 - Have a seat. - Um... 8 00:00:49,131 --> 00:00:50,464 So... 9 00:00:51,131 --> 00:00:54,881 You were the pastry chef at the Waldorf Astoria in New York. Were you not? 10 00:00:54,964 --> 00:00:56,881 It's been a while, long time ago. 11 00:00:56,964 --> 00:00:59,089 What a hotel. I mean, there were a couple of problems, 12 00:00:59,173 --> 00:01:02,881 like the air conditioning was... not great, I have to say. 13 00:01:02,964 --> 00:01:05,505 I like a cold room, Chulu, you know, 64 degrees. 14 00:01:05,589 --> 00:01:08,131 - Mm-hmm. - And the tub was too small. But besides that, 15 00:01:08,214 --> 00:01:10,381 what I loved about it was, every morning, 16 00:01:10,464 --> 00:01:12,672 I'd go downstairs to the restaurant, 17 00:01:12,755 --> 00:01:15,047 and I'd have a cup of coffee, 18 00:01:15,131 --> 00:01:17,047 and a scone. 19 00:01:17,339 --> 00:01:20,630 And those scones were the best scones I've ever had... 20 00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:22,672 ...anywhere in my-- I've never forgotten them. 21 00:01:22,755 --> 00:01:24,672 Well, I was known for my scones. 22 00:01:24,755 --> 00:01:27,505 Anyway, I'm opening up a coffee shop, and... 23 00:01:28,173 --> 00:01:30,131 I need you to make me those scones. 24 00:01:30,214 --> 00:01:32,547 I'm sorry, I haven't touched a whisk... 25 00:01:32,630 --> 00:01:33,881 20 years. 26 00:01:33,964 --> 00:01:37,547 See, Chulu, the thing is, there's this man. 27 00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:39,839 He's got this coffee place. He's... 28 00:01:39,922 --> 00:01:42,089 kicked me out of it. He's banned me from it. 29 00:01:42,173 --> 00:01:44,505 And I opened up a place next door to his. 30 00:01:44,589 --> 00:01:46,797 I've sworn revenge, and with your help, 31 00:01:46,881 --> 00:01:48,589 maybe I can get it. 32 00:01:48,672 --> 00:01:51,256 - Oh, a spite store. - Spite store, right. 33 00:01:51,339 --> 00:01:53,464 Well, what's this guy's name, anyway? 34 00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:56,839 He goes by the name of... 35 00:01:57,464 --> 00:01:58,922 Mocha Joe. 36 00:01:59,006 --> 00:02:01,589 Did you say Mocha Joe? 37 00:02:01,672 --> 00:02:02,755 You know him? 38 00:02:02,839 --> 00:02:04,839 Nasty motherfucker. 39 00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:20,256 Well... whatcha think? 40 00:02:23,089 --> 00:02:25,423 Pretty good! 41 00:02:25,505 --> 00:02:28,672 Pretty... pretty... 42 00:02:29,256 --> 00:02:31,589 pretty, pretty good. 43 00:02:32,547 --> 00:02:34,381 Yeah, I was just trying to stop her from leaving, 44 00:02:34,464 --> 00:02:36,881 - so as I grabbed her wrist-- - Sure, Larry, but I think-- 45 00:02:36,964 --> 00:02:39,214 I think we're beyond the details of what happened at this point, 46 00:02:39,298 --> 00:02:41,298 because her attitude has completely changed. 47 00:02:41,381 --> 00:02:43,047 Alice and her attorneys are out for blood, 48 00:02:43,131 --> 00:02:46,423 and I think the priority now is keeping this from going public. 49 00:02:46,505 --> 00:02:49,131 You know, you have, uh, Seinfeld syndication, 50 00:02:49,214 --> 00:02:50,505 you have the Hulu deal. 51 00:02:50,589 --> 00:02:52,922 You don't want headlines about you being sued 52 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,714 for sexual harassment by a former assistant. 53 00:02:54,797 --> 00:02:57,505 Side-sitting, I can't believe what it did to me. 54 00:02:57,589 --> 00:02:58,964 I think, unfortunately, we're in a different 55 00:02:59,047 --> 00:03:00,755 category now, settlement-wise. 56 00:03:00,839 --> 00:03:03,839 But, uh, in your case, I think it's eminently worth it 57 00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:07,464 for the value to you of having this thing over with 58 00:03:07,547 --> 00:03:10,423 and not lying around to be discovered by the public. 59 00:03:11,672 --> 00:03:14,298 What? Get the fuck outta here! 60 00:03:14,381 --> 00:03:16,381 - Are you kidding? What? - Well, that's not it-- 61 00:03:16,464 --> 00:03:17,672 That money is not for her. 62 00:03:17,755 --> 00:03:20,298 It's for a charity called Survivors United, 63 00:03:20,381 --> 00:03:22,464 devoted to victims of sexual harassment. 64 00:03:22,547 --> 00:03:25,298 - Alice's charity of choice. - Yeah, my, my cousin Andy's wife 65 00:03:25,381 --> 00:03:27,547 - is involved with that. Cassie. Yeah. - That's great, 66 00:03:27,630 --> 00:03:30,589 because in addition to the financial remuneration, 67 00:03:30,672 --> 00:03:33,339 they would like you to, uh, make a speech. 68 00:03:33,423 --> 00:03:36,214 They want me to make a speech? What am I supposed to say? 69 00:03:36,298 --> 00:03:39,672 I think she wants you to, in a public way, 70 00:03:39,755 --> 00:03:42,797 show contrition and show that this has moved you a step forward, 71 00:03:42,881 --> 00:03:44,839 that you've evolved as a result of this experience. 72 00:03:44,922 --> 00:03:47,381 I'm gonna call Alice's attorneys immediately to let her know 73 00:03:47,464 --> 00:03:49,672 that you're on board with this. 74 00:03:49,755 --> 00:03:51,839 What are you doing? 75 00:03:52,547 --> 00:03:54,672 - I think I'm eating an apple. - Okay. 76 00:03:54,755 --> 00:03:56,214 I'm worried you're not taking this seriously. 77 00:03:56,298 --> 00:03:57,714 You're blithely eating an apple here. 78 00:03:57,797 --> 00:03:59,214 - We're really talking about-- - "Blithely eating"-- 79 00:03:59,298 --> 00:04:00,839 There's no other way to eat an apple but blithely. 80 00:04:00,922 --> 00:04:02,714 - Yeah, but I need you-- - That's how apples are eaten. 81 00:04:02,797 --> 00:04:04,964 I think you're incorrect about that. My dad ate angry apples 82 00:04:05,047 --> 00:04:06,339 - all the time. - An angry apple? 83 00:04:06,423 --> 00:04:08,089 He communicated a tremendous amount of hostility-- 84 00:04:08,173 --> 00:04:10,089 - Cannot eat an apple angry. It's impossible. - In fact, I think 85 00:04:10,173 --> 00:04:12,256 there are a lot of emotional colors available when eating an apple. 86 00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:14,131 - Not just blitheness. - Well, I completely disagree with you. 87 00:04:14,214 --> 00:04:16,173 I'm concerned you're not taking this seriously. 88 00:04:16,505 --> 00:04:19,381 I'm, I'm taking it seriously! I'm gonna pay a shitload of money, 89 00:04:19,464 --> 00:04:21,381 and I'm gonna make a fuckin' speech 90 00:04:21,464 --> 00:04:23,173 about something I-I know nothing about. 91 00:04:23,256 --> 00:04:25,922 Those aren't even apples for eating, anyway. They're decorative. 92 00:04:26,006 --> 00:04:27,630 Decorative? What, are you kidding? 93 00:04:27,714 --> 00:04:29,505 What? I've never heard of that in my life. Why don't you get 94 00:04:29,589 --> 00:04:31,173 - the artificial fruit? - You never heard of decorative apples? 95 00:04:31,256 --> 00:04:32,881 Yes, and they're artificial. 96 00:04:32,964 --> 00:04:35,173 I never heard of anybody using real fruit 97 00:04:35,256 --> 00:04:36,797 as, for decoration purposes. 98 00:04:36,881 --> 00:04:39,339 Larry, I'd feel better if we just stopped the eating for now, 99 00:04:39,423 --> 00:04:42,214 just long enough to get a few basic points down 100 00:04:42,298 --> 00:04:45,256 - for the speech. Okay. No eating. - Okay. No worries. 101 00:04:45,339 --> 00:04:47,298 I'll put the apple away. 102 00:04:47,381 --> 00:04:49,256 - Just... Yeah. - What? 103 00:04:49,339 --> 00:04:51,881 Now I have a half-eaten apple in my, uh, basket, here. 104 00:04:51,964 --> 00:04:53,922 Where are you supposed to put it? 105 00:04:54,006 --> 00:04:55,423 It's a garbage-- It's a garbage can. 106 00:04:55,505 --> 00:04:57,964 Larry, it's not a garbage can. That's a, that's... 107 00:04:58,047 --> 00:04:59,964 It's an unlined receptacle 108 00:05:00,047 --> 00:05:02,589 - that's sitting next to a desk. - Yes, for garbage! 109 00:05:02,672 --> 00:05:03,922 It's for paper. It's not a lined garbage can. 110 00:05:04,006 --> 00:05:05,381 How am I supposed to know it's for paper? 111 00:05:05,464 --> 00:05:07,630 If I see a garbage can, I throw garbage in there. 112 00:05:07,714 --> 00:05:09,339 I think you're conflating garbage with paper. 113 00:05:09,423 --> 00:05:12,047 - I mean, it's, really, it's for paper, it's not... - Yeah. 114 00:05:12,131 --> 00:05:13,214 This is the oddest office. 115 00:05:13,298 --> 00:05:14,423 You have fruit that's not for eating, 116 00:05:14,505 --> 00:05:15,964 you have garbage that's not for garbage, 117 00:05:16,047 --> 00:05:17,839 and you have a bathroom that nobody can use. 118 00:05:17,922 --> 00:05:19,423 It's unbelievable. 119 00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:23,672 Hot off the presses, baby. 120 00:05:23,755 --> 00:05:27,214 This is it. This is the scone. 121 00:05:27,298 --> 00:05:29,464 - Go head. Take a bite. - I'm good. 122 00:05:29,547 --> 00:05:30,964 - What? - I'm good. 123 00:05:31,047 --> 00:05:33,214 What are you-- What are you, nuts? Take a bite. 124 00:05:33,298 --> 00:05:35,006 - I'm good. - How are you good? 125 00:05:35,089 --> 00:05:37,214 - I'll eat it later. - All right. Fine. 126 00:05:37,714 --> 00:05:40,214 Hey. So, get this. 127 00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:42,423 I have to do this speech 128 00:05:42,505 --> 00:05:44,547 at a Survivor's United event. 129 00:05:44,630 --> 00:05:47,630 Remember that psychotic assistant I had who thought you were Harvey Weinstein? 130 00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:49,131 This is all because of her. I have to give a speech, 131 00:05:49,214 --> 00:05:50,922 I have to give money to the organization-- 132 00:05:51,006 --> 00:05:52,964 - Speech and money. That's bullshit. - Yeah-- 133 00:05:53,047 --> 00:05:55,589 - By the way, a lot of money. - You didn't do anything! 134 00:05:55,672 --> 00:05:57,339 - I know. I didn't do anything. - That's bullshit! 135 00:05:57,423 --> 00:05:59,423 Total bullshit. I'm so pissed. 136 00:05:59,505 --> 00:06:01,964 Ah-ah-ah, Lar. It's fake. 137 00:06:02,589 --> 00:06:04,839 - What? - It's artificial fruit. 138 00:06:04,922 --> 00:06:07,173 - Good, right? - Holy mackerel. 139 00:06:07,256 --> 00:06:09,131 I know. There's no fruit flies, nothing. 140 00:06:09,214 --> 00:06:12,006 - It just sits there all day looking beautiful. - Holy mackerel. 141 00:06:12,089 --> 00:06:14,173 My mother would go nuts for this. 142 00:06:14,256 --> 00:06:16,131 - They didn't make 'em like that in the old days. - No, my God. 143 00:06:16,214 --> 00:06:17,714 This is a whole new technology. 144 00:06:17,797 --> 00:06:19,755 Do me a favor. Text me the number of where you got this. 145 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:22,131 All right. Jeff, what is that piece of shit you're eating? 146 00:06:22,214 --> 00:06:23,547 - Piece of shit? - Yeah. 147 00:06:23,630 --> 00:06:25,423 That piece of shit happens to be a scone 148 00:06:25,505 --> 00:06:27,423 that I'm gonna be selling at, uh, Latte Larry's. 149 00:06:27,505 --> 00:06:29,047 Uck. I don't like a scone. 150 00:06:29,131 --> 00:06:30,630 - Oh, you don't? Who cares what you like? - No. 151 00:06:30,714 --> 00:06:32,298 You have such pedestrian taste anyway. 152 00:06:32,381 --> 00:06:35,381 I like a delicious, moist cupcake. 153 00:06:35,464 --> 00:06:37,714 - What is that? - What? 154 00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,256 That picture. 155 00:06:41,464 --> 00:06:43,131 What? Oh, remember that wedding 156 00:06:43,214 --> 00:06:44,714 in Malibu, the four of us? 157 00:06:44,797 --> 00:06:46,672 We used to have such good times together. 158 00:06:46,755 --> 00:06:49,214 Oh, that was so nice, Jeff. Remember that? 159 00:06:49,298 --> 00:06:51,173 This picture is very painful for me now. 160 00:06:51,256 --> 00:06:52,922 Why? 'Cause Cheryl's in it? 161 00:06:53,006 --> 00:06:54,464 Yeah. I want you to take it down. 162 00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:56,672 I'm not taking it down. It's part of our history. 163 00:06:56,755 --> 00:06:59,464 I'm not gonna deny our history, or rewrite it. 164 00:06:59,547 --> 00:07:01,214 It's like looking at a Confederate war monument. 165 00:07:01,298 --> 00:07:03,797 - It's a history that's very hurtful for me. - Well, I'm sorry. 166 00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:06,173 I want to honor our history, our heritage. 167 00:07:06,256 --> 00:07:08,755 This picture being up is very offensive to me, Susie. 168 00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:10,797 Well, I'm sorry! Put it the fuck back! 169 00:07:10,881 --> 00:07:13,755 And get that fuckin' crusty scone out of my house, too. 170 00:07:13,839 --> 00:07:17,006 - Taste it, will ya? - I... I'm good. 171 00:07:18,630 --> 00:07:20,381 I'm gonna go out on a limb and tell you, 172 00:07:20,464 --> 00:07:23,089 this is gonna be one of the best scones you've ever had in your life. 173 00:07:23,173 --> 00:07:25,505 - Really? I can't wait. Can't wait. Okay. - I'm just telling you. Okay? 174 00:07:25,589 --> 00:07:27,256 - And I'm not even overselling it. - They look great. 175 00:07:27,339 --> 00:07:29,298 What are these? Are these chocolate chips or are they blueberries? 176 00:07:29,381 --> 00:07:31,173 - Chips. - Whoa. 177 00:07:34,381 --> 00:07:36,006 - Mm-mm. Mm-mm. No. - What? 178 00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:37,464 - They're not good. They're not good. - What are you-- 179 00:07:37,547 --> 00:07:39,381 - What are you talking about? - It's dry. 180 00:07:39,464 --> 00:07:41,173 - What? You're crazy. - Oh, my God. 181 00:07:41,256 --> 00:07:42,797 I mean, it's like I could out there and choke, 182 00:07:42,881 --> 00:07:44,630 - eating this thing. - Scones are, scones are dry. 183 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,755 - Well, then, okay. Well, then, okay. - They're supposed to be dry. 184 00:07:46,839 --> 00:07:48,381 - Then you got what you paid for. - Yeah. 185 00:07:48,464 --> 00:07:51,006 'Cause I've never tasted anything dry, this granuley. 186 00:07:51,089 --> 00:07:53,464 It's like a buttermilk biscuit without the buttermilk. 187 00:07:53,547 --> 00:07:55,922 Then don't come in the store! Go to Mocha Joe's! 188 00:07:56,006 --> 00:07:58,714 Stop it. I'm not gonna get into-- Oh, what a pretty sweater. 189 00:07:58,797 --> 00:08:01,131 - Oh, this is so nice. Where'd you get this? - Yeah. Cheryl gave it to me. 190 00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:03,464 - Cheryl gave it to me. Get out of here. - Where is this from? 191 00:08:03,547 --> 00:08:05,214 - Who the hell cares? - Hold on. Okay, okay. 192 00:08:05,298 --> 00:08:08,173 It's like a fireplace cardigan, is what it is. - Huh? 193 00:08:08,256 --> 00:08:10,214 Hey, Larry. 194 00:08:10,298 --> 00:08:13,089 I was just gonna call you. I'm so happy to see you. 195 00:08:13,173 --> 00:08:15,298 - Oh, really? - You're like my hero. 196 00:08:15,381 --> 00:08:18,630 You gave-- He gave the biggest, I mean, the biggest donation 197 00:08:18,714 --> 00:08:20,464 - to Survivors United. - Stop it. 198 00:08:20,547 --> 00:08:22,589 - You did? Why didn't you tell me? - Yeah, I did. 199 00:08:22,672 --> 00:08:24,464 Uh, you know, I give to a lot of charities. 200 00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:26,381 I don't tell everybody, you know. I just... 201 00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:28,505 - It's really sweet. - Well, you know, you were 202 00:08:28,589 --> 00:08:30,173 connected with it, so I thought 203 00:08:30,256 --> 00:08:32,006 it would be a nice, uh, gesture, you know. 204 00:08:32,089 --> 00:08:33,672 - You didn't? - Is that why you did that? 205 00:08:33,755 --> 00:08:36,547 That's part of the reason, and I think it's a great cause. 206 00:08:36,630 --> 00:08:39,839 That almost makes me cry. That is the sweetest thing ever. 207 00:08:39,922 --> 00:08:42,630 - And you're doing a speech. - Wait till you hear the speech. 208 00:08:42,714 --> 00:08:45,630 - Listen, I want to ask you a favor, okay? - Sure. 209 00:08:45,714 --> 00:08:47,505 Uh, you've already done so much, 210 00:08:47,589 --> 00:08:49,131 so this shouldn't be that big of a deal. 211 00:08:49,214 --> 00:08:50,881 I just need a doodle from you. 212 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,672 - We're doing like an auction with celebrity doodles. - Doodle. 213 00:08:53,755 --> 00:08:55,505 I don't really draw at all. 214 00:08:55,589 --> 00:08:57,839 - It's a doodle. - It doesn't matter. That's the whole point. 215 00:08:57,922 --> 00:09:01,047 - It's a doodle. - It's literally like "This is a Larry David doodle." 216 00:09:01,131 --> 00:09:03,547 - Doesn't matter what it looks like. - I can do a doodle. 217 00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,464 - Okay. Thank you. Thank you, truly. - Okay. Yeah, sure. 218 00:09:05,547 --> 00:09:07,214 - You're a pal. - Thank you for the doodle. 219 00:09:07,298 --> 00:09:09,214 - Yeah. - So what'd you get for dinner? 220 00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:10,423 Uh, we're gonna have artichokes, 221 00:09:10,505 --> 00:09:12,214 which we haven't had in forever, 222 00:09:12,298 --> 00:09:14,089 and I'm gonna roast a chicken, and-- 223 00:09:14,173 --> 00:09:15,839 - What's going on? What's going on? - No, no, no, no. 224 00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:18,047 - Please don't. No, no. Please don't do that. - What? 225 00:09:18,131 --> 00:09:21,381 - I-- Sorry. We don't use this. - Yeah. 226 00:09:21,464 --> 00:09:23,214 We throw our trash in the pantry. 227 00:09:23,298 --> 00:09:25,173 So what is this? This is a show can? 228 00:09:25,256 --> 00:09:28,089 It indicates that we know how to throw things out. 229 00:09:28,173 --> 00:09:29,423 I- I can't believe what's going on. 230 00:09:29,505 --> 00:09:31,256 The same thing happened in my lawyer's office. 231 00:09:31,339 --> 00:09:32,797 Well, we like to keep the place clean. 232 00:09:32,881 --> 00:09:34,047 I was keeping the place clean 233 00:09:34,131 --> 00:09:35,797 by throwing my garbage in the garbage. 234 00:09:35,881 --> 00:09:37,547 We don't even have a liner in there. Take a look. 235 00:09:37,630 --> 00:09:39,339 - We don't, we don't use that at all. - I can't, I can't have it. 236 00:09:39,423 --> 00:09:40,922 So if I have some garbage in my hand and I say, 237 00:09:41,006 --> 00:09:42,214 - "Where's the garbage can?" - Yeah. 238 00:09:42,298 --> 00:09:44,256 - What do you say? - We say the garbage can 239 00:09:44,339 --> 00:09:45,755 - is here. - Garbage can is here. 240 00:09:45,839 --> 00:09:47,339 - Throw it in the pantry. - Yeah. 241 00:09:48,256 --> 00:09:49,797 - Okay. - Okay. 242 00:09:51,839 --> 00:09:53,298 What the hell are you doing here? 243 00:09:53,381 --> 00:09:54,755 Yeah. I want you to taste this. 244 00:09:54,839 --> 00:09:56,089 Yeah, but you know I don't like surprises. 245 00:09:56,173 --> 00:09:57,339 Oh, shut up. 246 00:09:57,714 --> 00:09:59,464 - Here. Taste this. - Oh. 247 00:09:59,547 --> 00:10:00,881 - It's a scone. - Scone. 248 00:10:00,964 --> 00:10:02,089 - Yeah. - Forget about it. 249 00:10:02,173 --> 00:10:04,755 - What? - I would never touch a scone. 250 00:10:04,839 --> 00:10:06,214 - Are you nuts? - It's hard and it-- 251 00:10:06,298 --> 00:10:07,922 - and it breaks off. - Yeah, it's good. 252 00:10:08,006 --> 00:10:09,755 - That's the way it's supposed to be. - Then the powder falls 253 00:10:09,839 --> 00:10:12,298 all over the floor, and then you gotta vacuum after you eat. 254 00:10:12,381 --> 00:10:14,589 Who needs all this shit when you're eating a snack? 255 00:10:14,672 --> 00:10:16,339 - What are you, a senile old man? - No! 256 00:10:16,423 --> 00:10:18,381 - You're eating all over yourself? Huh? - No. I wanna-- No. 257 00:10:18,464 --> 00:10:21,423 It's the scone's fault. If it's-- Put it away. 258 00:10:21,505 --> 00:10:22,797 I'm sorry Funkhouser's not around. 259 00:10:22,881 --> 00:10:24,464 - He loves scones. - He's in China. 260 00:10:24,547 --> 00:10:26,589 - When's he coming back? - I don't know, but he would hate it. 261 00:10:26,672 --> 00:10:29,589 He would love it. I've had coffee with Funkhouser many times. 262 00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:31,214 Scones are his pastry of choice. Okay? 263 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:32,964 Yeah, by the way, what a sweater. 264 00:10:33,047 --> 00:10:35,423 You know I don't like sweaters, but that's gorgeous. 265 00:10:35,505 --> 00:10:37,214 - Really? Okay, you know what? - Gorgeous. What? 266 00:10:37,298 --> 00:10:38,755 - Here, take it. I don't want it. - Oh, come on. 267 00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:41,423 Cheryl gave it to me, and I don't like the reminder. 268 00:10:41,505 --> 00:10:44,131 - Thank you very much. - It hurts me to wear it, actually. 269 00:10:44,214 --> 00:10:46,089 Well, it won't hurt me if I ever wear it. 270 00:10:46,173 --> 00:10:48,505 - All right. Are we having lunch tomorrow? - Zaragoza. 271 00:10:48,589 --> 00:10:49,630 Tharagoza. 272 00:10:49,714 --> 00:10:51,047 What happened? You bite your tongue? 273 00:10:51,131 --> 00:10:53,214 - It's Castilian. - Really? What's Castilian mean? 274 00:10:53,298 --> 00:10:56,797 - Isn't that a soup? - Castilian. It's a dialect of, of Spanish. 275 00:10:56,881 --> 00:10:59,173 And they pronounce their "Z"s as "TH"s. 276 00:10:59,256 --> 00:11:02,047 - Tha, Tharagoza. - All right, but I'm paying. 277 00:11:02,131 --> 00:11:04,089 You're paying for what? Lunch? 278 00:11:04,173 --> 00:11:06,214 - I, I-- You have never paid for me. - That's what you think. 279 00:11:06,298 --> 00:11:09,006 - I'm paying, okay. You're not gonna-- - You are not paying, 280 00:11:09,089 --> 00:11:11,298 because I have my own bread, and I can treat you. 281 00:11:11,381 --> 00:11:12,881 I know you can, and you always do. 282 00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:14,839 You never let me pay, and I'm sick of it. 283 00:11:14,922 --> 00:11:17,839 - No, fuck you, and I'm paying. - Fuck you, you're not paying. I'm paying. 284 00:11:17,922 --> 00:11:19,214 - Yeah, we'll see. - Yeah, we'll see. 285 00:11:19,298 --> 00:11:20,755 - Yeah, we'll see. - Yeah, we will see. 286 00:11:20,839 --> 00:11:22,298 Take your scones and get the hell out of here and I'll s-- 287 00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:23,672 Yeah, with pleasure. 288 00:11:23,755 --> 00:11:26,047 But before I go, I think I'll just leave you one. 289 00:11:26,131 --> 00:11:27,464 - Just in case. - Yeah, thanks a lot. 290 00:11:27,547 --> 00:11:30,339 Fuck you. I'm paying, and I'll see you tomorrow. 291 00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,797 You fuckin' idiot. 292 00:11:36,547 --> 00:11:39,423 - Welcome back to Zaragoza. - Thank you very much. 293 00:11:39,505 --> 00:11:41,630 Do you know I have a reservation tomorrow? 294 00:11:41,714 --> 00:11:44,131 I'm having lunch with Richard Lewis. You know him? 295 00:11:44,214 --> 00:11:46,672 Yeah, yeah. He always comes earlier to leave us the card. 296 00:11:46,755 --> 00:11:48,755 - I want to pay tomorrow. - Okay. 297 00:11:48,839 --> 00:11:50,630 And so, I want to beat him to the punch. 298 00:11:50,714 --> 00:11:52,381 That's why I'm here, 299 00:11:52,464 --> 00:11:54,131 'cause I want to leave my credit card. 300 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:57,630 - Now? - Yes. This will be for my bill tomorrow. 301 00:11:57,714 --> 00:12:00,089 No, we're not comfortable doing that. 302 00:12:00,173 --> 00:12:01,547 Why? What's the big deal? 303 00:12:01,839 --> 00:12:04,630 It's too much responsibility, because it may get stolen. 304 00:12:04,714 --> 00:12:07,672 Listen, listen. He's just gonna come very early tomorrow. 305 00:12:07,755 --> 00:12:09,298 He's gonna give you the credit card. 306 00:12:09,381 --> 00:12:11,339 I want to pay. Just take my credit card. 307 00:12:11,423 --> 00:12:12,964 Beat him. Come earlier. 308 00:12:13,047 --> 00:12:16,006 I, I don't wanna come at six o'clock in the morning. I, I, I-- 309 00:12:16,089 --> 00:12:18,089 I'm so sorry. I mean, I wish I could, but I-- 310 00:12:18,173 --> 00:12:20,505 Wh-- Where's Francisco? He'll take it. 311 00:12:20,589 --> 00:12:23,381 - He waits on me all the time. - Unfortunately, his auntie died. 312 00:12:23,464 --> 00:12:26,256 He's at the visitación of Concepción Zarzal. 313 00:12:27,589 --> 00:12:28,505 He's where? 314 00:12:28,589 --> 00:12:30,173 - His auntie died. - Yeah. 315 00:12:30,256 --> 00:12:32,922 So he's at the visitación of Concepción Zarzal. 316 00:12:33,006 --> 00:12:34,755 Concepción Zarzal? 317 00:12:34,839 --> 00:12:39,089 - Yes. Yes. - Oh, that's her name, Concepción Zarzal. 318 00:12:39,173 --> 00:12:41,423 - Oh. - By the way, your friend Ted Danson 319 00:12:41,505 --> 00:12:43,505 came yesterday with a very attractive blonde. 320 00:12:43,589 --> 00:12:45,881 - Oh, did he? - Yeah, they had a fantastic time. 321 00:12:45,964 --> 00:12:47,131 What, wh-- 322 00:12:47,214 --> 00:12:50,214 Cecilio? What was the name of yesterday's blonde? 323 00:12:50,298 --> 00:12:52,006 - Cheryl. - Cheryl. 324 00:12:52,089 --> 00:12:54,881 - You know her? - I do, yeah. 325 00:12:54,964 --> 00:12:56,589 Lucky you. 326 00:12:56,672 --> 00:12:57,922 Okay. 327 00:13:04,423 --> 00:13:08,547 Where is the location of that visitation? 328 00:13:08,630 --> 00:13:11,339 La dirección de la visitación de Concepción Zarzal. 329 00:13:11,423 --> 00:13:13,131 Yeah. Yeah, that one. 330 00:13:15,755 --> 00:13:17,298 Yeah. 331 00:13:22,797 --> 00:13:25,881 Lo siento. Lo siento. 332 00:13:26,672 --> 00:13:28,089 Lo, lo siento. 333 00:13:28,173 --> 00:13:30,881 Oh, sorry. Excuse me. Con permiso. 334 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:36,214 - Francisco. - Larry. 335 00:13:36,298 --> 00:13:39,797 - Lo siento. Lo siento. - Thank you. Thank you for coming. 336 00:13:39,881 --> 00:13:43,047 - Lo siento. - Did, did you know my aunt, Concepción? 337 00:13:43,131 --> 00:13:44,714 I didn't know her. 338 00:13:46,214 --> 00:13:48,589 I'm sure she was a wonderful woman. 339 00:13:48,672 --> 00:13:50,922 - She was like a mother to me. - Is that so? 340 00:13:51,006 --> 00:13:53,256 - Yes. - Let me ask you a question. Are you... 341 00:13:53,339 --> 00:13:55,464 working at, uh, Zaragoza tomorrow? 342 00:13:55,839 --> 00:13:57,256 - Zaragoza? - Zaragoza. 343 00:13:57,339 --> 00:13:59,006 - Yes, of course. - Oh, okay. 344 00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:01,339 - 'Cause I'm having lunch with Richard Lewis. - Okay. 345 00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:03,672 - And-- - Can, can we talk about this another time? 346 00:14:03,755 --> 00:14:05,630 Yeah, yeah. It'll take two seconds. 347 00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:07,464 Um, and he always pays for lunch. 348 00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:09,630 - I'd just like to get a little head start on him... - Yeah, okay, okay. 349 00:14:09,714 --> 00:14:11,547 ...and just give you my credit card beforehand. 350 00:14:11,630 --> 00:14:13,339 - Is that possible? - Please. 351 00:14:13,423 --> 00:14:15,339 - Would, would you mind doing that? - Seriously? 352 00:14:15,423 --> 00:14:17,881 Lo siento. Lo siento. I'm sorry. 353 00:14:17,964 --> 00:14:20,672 Ah, thank you. Hey. 354 00:14:20,755 --> 00:14:22,922 - What the-- What are you doing here? - Me? What are you doing here? 355 00:14:23,006 --> 00:14:25,339 - What are you doing here? - Francisco, I'm so sorry. 356 00:14:25,423 --> 00:14:27,630 Hey, I've already paid. You're too late. Get lost. 357 00:14:27,714 --> 00:14:30,505 - Yeah, I've already paid. - Don't even start it. I always have to pay-- 358 00:14:30,589 --> 00:14:32,339 - Give me that card. Give me that card. - No! 359 00:14:32,423 --> 00:14:34,256 No, no. Don't. 360 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,173 Give me that. Urgh. Give it! 361 00:14:43,256 --> 00:14:45,589 Give it! Aah! Aah! 362 00:14:46,797 --> 00:14:49,214 Hey, did, uh, did you try the scone? 363 00:14:49,298 --> 00:14:51,214 Yeah, yeah. 364 00:14:51,298 --> 00:14:52,922 You know, I-- I didn't love it. 365 00:14:53,006 --> 00:14:55,423 - Are you kidding? - It's like a fancy muffin. 366 00:14:55,505 --> 00:14:56,755 Don't say it's a fancy muffin, Jeff. 367 00:14:56,839 --> 00:14:58,214 You don't know what you're talking about. 368 00:14:58,298 --> 00:14:59,964 What aren't you getting? It's a fancy muffin. 369 00:15:00,047 --> 00:15:02,714 It's like you're saying roast beef is chicken. Roast beef is not chicken. 370 00:15:04,131 --> 00:15:06,298 - Did Susie like it? - Fuckin' hated it. 371 00:15:06,381 --> 00:15:08,423 - Okay, fuck you guys. You're so stupid. - Hated it. Hated it. 372 00:15:08,505 --> 00:15:09,755 And could you do me one favor, please? 373 00:15:09,839 --> 00:15:12,173 Can you take down that picture of me and Cheryl? 374 00:15:12,256 --> 00:15:14,047 - In your house? - Susie won't let me. 375 00:15:14,131 --> 00:15:16,839 Su-- Oh, you, you know what, I can't even... 376 00:15:18,547 --> 00:15:20,173 What the fuck? 377 00:15:20,839 --> 00:15:22,423 Holy shit. 378 00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:25,423 Let me tell you something. Get used to it. He's gonna be everywhere. 379 00:15:25,505 --> 00:15:27,922 It's a big movie. Billboards, 380 00:15:28,006 --> 00:15:31,464 talk shows, everywhere you look, it's gonna be Ted Danson. 381 00:15:31,547 --> 00:15:33,423 Inundated, that's what we're gonna be. 382 00:15:33,505 --> 00:15:34,964 You know, he came to my house last year, 383 00:15:35,047 --> 00:15:36,339 asked me if he can go out with Cheryl. 384 00:15:36,423 --> 00:15:38,173 I said no, but he did it anyway. 385 00:15:38,256 --> 00:15:39,797 - What kind of friend is that? - I don't know. 386 00:15:39,881 --> 00:15:41,589 - Your most vulnerable moment. - Yeah. 387 00:15:41,672 --> 00:15:43,589 You're getting divorced. Oh, and he's gonna 388 00:15:43,672 --> 00:15:46,214 - swoop in and take your ex-wife. - No. Friends don't do that. 389 00:15:46,298 --> 00:15:47,922 - Friends don't do that. - No, they don't. 390 00:15:48,006 --> 00:15:49,381 - Who does something-- - Who does something like that? 391 00:15:49,464 --> 00:15:50,672 That motherfucker! 392 00:15:51,131 --> 00:15:54,131 - Son of a bitch! - What are you doing? 393 00:15:54,214 --> 00:15:55,964 No, no, no, no! Larry! 394 00:15:57,547 --> 00:15:59,922 - Oh, my tongue! - Oh... 395 00:16:01,630 --> 00:16:04,131 I can't believe you did something like that. 396 00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:06,131 Bit my fuckin' tongue. 397 00:16:06,214 --> 00:16:08,630 - Fuck. - I'm so sorry. 398 00:16:08,714 --> 00:16:11,589 Oh, goddamn it! 399 00:16:16,173 --> 00:16:18,505 Ah, yeah. 400 00:16:18,881 --> 00:16:20,630 Stir it up real good. 401 00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:23,339 Put a little tea, a little bit of lemonade together. 402 00:16:23,423 --> 00:16:24,964 - Mm-hmm. - Hello, Arnold Palmer. 403 00:16:25,047 --> 00:16:27,922 - Congratulations. - That motherfucker got away with that shit. 404 00:16:28,006 --> 00:16:30,714 - Yeah, I didn't think he was the first one to do it. - Fuckin' right. 405 00:16:30,797 --> 00:16:33,630 You know how many times I fuckin' put milk and Mountain Dew together? 406 00:16:33,714 --> 00:16:34,964 You know what I mean? I could have had my own-- 407 00:16:35,047 --> 00:16:36,797 my own fuckin' drink, the Leon Black. 408 00:16:36,881 --> 00:16:39,089 Milk and Mountain Dew? Disgusting. 409 00:16:39,173 --> 00:16:41,047 There's certain taste buds that you motherfuckers like. 410 00:16:41,131 --> 00:16:43,589 But you get away with that shit. I don't know how the fuck you get away with it. 411 00:16:43,672 --> 00:16:46,339 When you say "you motherfuckers," you're referring to white people? 412 00:16:46,423 --> 00:16:47,755 Of course I am. You motherfuckers 413 00:16:47,839 --> 00:16:49,589 will accept all kind of stupid shit in your mouth. 414 00:16:49,672 --> 00:16:53,672 - Oh, is that so? Oh. - Escargots, and, and, and fuckin' wheat grass. 415 00:16:53,755 --> 00:16:55,589 Who the fuck drinks fuckin' grass? 416 00:16:55,672 --> 00:16:58,964 - Oh, okay, okay. I-I must-- - What kind of motherfucker, cutting your grass? 417 00:16:59,047 --> 00:17:01,589 And what about, um, chitlins? 418 00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:04,047 - Humph. - And pigs' knuckles? 419 00:17:04,131 --> 00:17:07,423 - Hmm. - And pigs' brains and pigs' feet? 420 00:17:07,505 --> 00:17:09,464 Anything to do with the pig. 421 00:17:09,547 --> 00:17:11,881 - Huh? - Touché, motherfucker. 422 00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,505 - Touché. - Motherfucker. 423 00:17:13,589 --> 00:17:15,173 Right there. Hey, man. 424 00:17:15,256 --> 00:17:17,505 Shit. What the fuck is that? 425 00:17:17,589 --> 00:17:20,505 I hope your speech is better than that goddamned doodle right there. 426 00:17:21,131 --> 00:17:22,505 Hey, fuckface, 427 00:17:22,589 --> 00:17:25,047 you really shouldn't be insulting a doodle. It's a doodle. 428 00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:28,006 It's just horrible. Are you fuckin' kidding me, man? 429 00:17:32,131 --> 00:17:35,881 What the fuck? That's artificial fruit! 430 00:17:36,339 --> 00:17:38,630 - Is my tooth chipped? - It's chipped! 431 00:17:38,714 --> 00:17:40,672 - Is my tooth chipped? - Yes! You chipped it! 432 00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:44,381 - What the fuck, Larry? - What, what are you eating artificial fruit for? 433 00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:45,881 Who the fuck puts artificial fruit on the table? 434 00:17:45,964 --> 00:17:47,881 I don't know. I saw it at Jeff's house. I liked it. 435 00:17:47,964 --> 00:17:50,714 You put the shit on the table, in the fucking kitchen! 436 00:17:50,797 --> 00:17:52,714 What the fuck else am I gonna do with it? 437 00:17:52,797 --> 00:17:54,839 - I don't know. You couldn't tell? - No! You should put 438 00:17:54,922 --> 00:17:56,964 that shit somewhere else, like the living room or somewhere 439 00:17:57,047 --> 00:17:59,131 where nobody's gonna fuckin' eat it! 440 00:17:59,214 --> 00:18:02,464 My tooth is chipped. 441 00:18:02,547 --> 00:18:04,214 Sorry. 442 00:18:08,589 --> 00:18:11,755 How do you serve eggs without toast? It's unbelievable. 443 00:18:11,839 --> 00:18:13,589 Some people are allergic to toast. 444 00:18:13,672 --> 00:18:16,214 Is that an answer? What is that? 445 00:18:16,298 --> 00:18:18,672 - It's, it's imbecilic. - Are some people-- 446 00:18:18,755 --> 00:18:20,381 Why is it imbecilic? 447 00:18:20,464 --> 00:18:22,797 Well, everybody, you can't serve the eggs without the toast. 448 00:18:22,881 --> 00:18:24,298 - Yes-- - They're a team. 449 00:18:24,381 --> 00:18:26,922 You know, you are like a president in the 18th century 450 00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:31,089 on the back of a train, saying, "And there will always be toast!" 451 00:18:31,173 --> 00:18:33,131 "With eggs! 452 00:18:33,214 --> 00:18:35,589 And two turkeys in every garage!" 453 00:18:35,672 --> 00:18:39,131 Stop lecturing the world on your point of view. 454 00:18:39,214 --> 00:18:40,464 Ah. Excuse me. 455 00:18:40,547 --> 00:18:42,131 Oh. Yes, sir. 456 00:18:42,214 --> 00:18:45,298 Um, there's no toast with the eggs. 457 00:18:45,381 --> 00:18:47,839 Lo siento. Our cocinero Cecilio must have forgotten. 458 00:18:47,922 --> 00:18:50,173 - All right. All right. Thank you very much. - Lo siento. 459 00:18:50,256 --> 00:18:52,630 - You're driving him nuts, man. - What is this? 460 00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:55,423 - What is what? - The sweater. You're wearing the sweater? 461 00:18:55,505 --> 00:18:57,047 - It's a gift. - I told you before, 462 00:18:57,131 --> 00:18:59,505 I didn't want to see it anymore. It has painful memories for me. 463 00:18:59,589 --> 00:19:01,630 - So take it off. - What kind of gift is that? 464 00:19:01,714 --> 00:19:04,630 I'll wear whatever I want. It's mine now. 465 00:19:04,714 --> 00:19:06,630 - This is selfish. It's very selfish. - How can it be selfish? 466 00:19:06,714 --> 00:19:08,381 - You gave me an espresso machine from Rome. - Okay. Yeah? 467 00:19:08,464 --> 00:19:10,298 - I'm gonna throw it out? - Okay, take off that sweater. 468 00:19:10,381 --> 00:19:12,298 - I'm not takin' it off. It's mine. - I want you to take-- 469 00:19:12,381 --> 00:19:14,298 - I want you to take off that fuckin' sweater. - Hey, are you out of your-- 470 00:19:14,381 --> 00:19:15,839 Hey, get the fuck, hey-- 471 00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:17,964 Get out of here! Hey, stop. 472 00:19:18,047 --> 00:19:21,214 - No. Don't touch me! - Oh. Oh! 473 00:19:21,298 --> 00:19:24,630 Um, yeah. Thank you. 474 00:19:24,714 --> 00:19:26,839 - Here's your toast. - Thank you. 475 00:19:26,922 --> 00:19:28,381 And, uh, Señor Lewis. 476 00:19:28,464 --> 00:19:30,298 - Oh, yes. - The check. Thank you so much. 477 00:19:30,381 --> 00:19:32,589 - What? What are you talking about? - As always. Thank you, really. 478 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,839 - It means a lot. Thank you. - No, no, no, no. I gave Francisco my credit card. 479 00:19:35,922 --> 00:19:38,464 Francisco is not here. He is mourning the death of his aunt, 480 00:19:38,547 --> 00:19:40,173 Concepción Zarzal. 481 00:19:40,589 --> 00:19:42,505 God bless you, and God bless him, 482 00:19:42,589 --> 00:19:44,755 and his aunt, and... Generous tip, by the way. 483 00:19:44,839 --> 00:19:47,256 - Oh, yes. Thank you. - As usual. Am I right, or am I wrong? 484 00:19:51,839 --> 00:19:53,881 - Ah! - Larry David. 485 00:19:53,964 --> 00:19:55,839 Well, well. Hello, Laverne! 486 00:19:55,922 --> 00:19:58,839 It's so good to meet you. I have a cold. 487 00:19:58,922 --> 00:20:00,797 - You have a cold. - I don't want to get you sick. 488 00:20:00,881 --> 00:20:03,381 You have-- That is so considerate of you. 489 00:20:03,464 --> 00:20:05,547 Thank you so much. You know what? 490 00:20:05,630 --> 00:20:07,214 Most people don't do that. 491 00:20:07,298 --> 00:20:09,839 - They keep it to themselves. - I like to think... 492 00:20:09,922 --> 00:20:13,006 what would I want someone to do if I were on the other side. 493 00:20:13,089 --> 00:20:15,214 And I want someone to tell me, and I want them to protect me. 494 00:20:15,298 --> 00:20:18,006 - You know what you're doing? You're golden-ruling it. - I'm golden-ruling it. 495 00:20:18,089 --> 00:20:19,755 You're golden-ruling it, Laverne. 496 00:20:19,839 --> 00:20:22,839 You know, Larry, I just wanted to take this moment to say 497 00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,131 how grateful I am for you to be here. 498 00:20:25,214 --> 00:20:28,047 I think it's so important that straight white men, 499 00:20:28,131 --> 00:20:29,755 particularly in your age group, 500 00:20:29,839 --> 00:20:31,714 be part of the movement. 501 00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:35,630 And I think you, Larry, are gonna be a role model to so many people. 502 00:20:35,714 --> 00:20:37,922 - And you'll be introducing me? - Absolutely. 503 00:20:38,006 --> 00:20:40,464 Do you know what you're gonna say yet? I have a couple of ideas. 504 00:20:40,547 --> 00:20:44,381 - Oh, yeah. What? - I think you can introduce me sort of as a, uh... 505 00:20:44,464 --> 00:20:45,672 as a Renaissance man. 506 00:20:45,755 --> 00:20:48,214 - Oh! - You know, a guy who... 507 00:20:48,298 --> 00:20:49,922 speaks six languages. 508 00:20:50,006 --> 00:20:52,298 You speak six languages, Larry? Oh, my God. 509 00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:54,922 - That's amazing. - No, I, I only speak one language. 510 00:20:55,006 --> 00:20:57,089 Yeah, I know a little bit of Yiddish. 511 00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:59,256 Vo den? Vos machstu. 512 00:20:59,339 --> 00:21:01,047 What a meshugganah. 513 00:21:01,131 --> 00:21:04,089 You know, a couple things I picked up from my parents. 514 00:21:04,173 --> 00:21:08,256 So you want me to get onstage at a charity and lie? 515 00:21:08,339 --> 00:21:10,630 No, you just say these things. It'll, it will impress them. 516 00:21:10,714 --> 00:21:13,256 You wanna impress people with lies? 517 00:21:13,339 --> 00:21:15,214 Well, how else do you impress them? 518 00:21:15,672 --> 00:21:17,630 Larry, I, I-- 519 00:21:17,714 --> 00:21:19,381 First of all, I don't lie. 520 00:21:19,464 --> 00:21:22,006 So much of this event is about being in the truth. 521 00:21:22,089 --> 00:21:24,505 All right. You know what? Introduce me any way you'd like. How about that? 522 00:21:24,589 --> 00:21:27,298 - Okay. - By the way, you know, I have a, uh, I have a friend. 523 00:21:27,381 --> 00:21:29,714 Marty Funkhouser, his daughter... 524 00:21:29,797 --> 00:21:32,630 is transitioning to be a man. 525 00:21:32,714 --> 00:21:35,381 - That's beautiful. That's so beautiful. - Yeah. 526 00:21:35,464 --> 00:21:39,256 Can I ask you a question about the whole transitioning thing? 527 00:21:39,339 --> 00:21:41,797 - Okay. - Okay, like, I'm an organ donor, 528 00:21:41,881 --> 00:21:45,006 and on my driver's license, it says I'm an organ donor. 529 00:21:45,089 --> 00:21:47,047 Can you, can you donate 530 00:21:47,131 --> 00:21:50,505 a-a penis to a person who's transitioning? 531 00:21:51,214 --> 00:21:53,922 - 'Cause that's not-- - You... 532 00:21:54,006 --> 00:21:57,131 How about this one? Could a white transitioner 533 00:21:57,214 --> 00:21:59,131 get a black penis? 534 00:21:59,214 --> 00:22:00,964 Okay. I-I think I got it. 535 00:22:01,047 --> 00:22:04,131 I think I understand. All righty, Larry. It was... 536 00:22:04,214 --> 00:22:06,256 great to... great to meet you. 537 00:22:06,339 --> 00:22:09,505 - Okay. See you out there. - Okay. 538 00:22:12,797 --> 00:22:15,339 Larry, how are you? 539 00:22:15,423 --> 00:22:17,755 How about this, huh? Nice event, huh? 540 00:22:18,214 --> 00:22:20,714 Wha-- wha-- What the hell is this? 541 00:22:20,797 --> 00:22:22,047 What? 542 00:22:22,131 --> 00:22:24,006 - This sweater. Wh-- What are you doing? - I know. 543 00:22:24,089 --> 00:22:26,047 - Isn't it nice? - Okay. Take it off. 544 00:22:26,131 --> 00:22:27,381 Okay? I want you to take it off. 545 00:22:27,464 --> 00:22:28,547 What are you talking about? 546 00:22:28,630 --> 00:22:30,423 I don't want you to wear that sweater. 547 00:22:30,505 --> 00:22:33,089 - Why? - 'Cause Cheryl gave it to me. I gave mine to Richard, 548 00:22:33,173 --> 00:22:34,755 'cause I didn't wanna be reminded of it, 549 00:22:34,839 --> 00:22:36,173 and now you're reminding me of it. 550 00:22:36,256 --> 00:22:38,298 - I'm not taking this off. - Take it off. 551 00:22:38,381 --> 00:22:40,089 - It goes with all my pants, it's great. - Yes. Sexy. 552 00:22:40,173 --> 00:22:41,797 - Take it off. - What are you-- Get out of here! 553 00:22:41,881 --> 00:22:44,755 Larry, stop it. He's got like a polo shirt on under this. 554 00:22:44,839 --> 00:22:47,173 - Yeah, I got a golf shirt. I can't take this off. - We're at an event! 555 00:22:47,256 --> 00:22:49,423 Okay, anyway, can we talk about something important? 556 00:22:49,505 --> 00:22:52,505 - Yeah, sure. - Okay. I'd like to talk to you about this. 557 00:22:52,589 --> 00:22:54,298 Okay. What about it? 558 00:22:54,381 --> 00:22:57,089 This is the doodle you give me for charity? 559 00:22:57,173 --> 00:22:59,381 - Yeah. - It's terrible, Larry. 560 00:22:59,464 --> 00:23:02,339 - We can't use this. - You said it doesn't matter what it looks like. 561 00:23:02,423 --> 00:23:04,339 - It's a doodle. - No. This is a doodle. 562 00:23:04,423 --> 00:23:06,131 - This is Christine Lahti's. - That's a doodle? 563 00:23:06,214 --> 00:23:07,714 - That's a doodle. - This is beautiful. 564 00:23:07,797 --> 00:23:10,006 That is not a doodle. That is a work of art, okay? 565 00:23:10,089 --> 00:23:11,630 - You know what? - This is gonna get so much money. 566 00:23:11,714 --> 00:23:13,423 - So much money. This, what? A nickel? - This is-- 567 00:23:13,505 --> 00:23:14,881 - Honest to God-- - I'll give you two pence. 568 00:23:14,964 --> 00:23:16,173 You're not holding it the right way. 569 00:23:16,256 --> 00:23:17,755 - You hold it like this. Okay? - Oh, oh! 570 00:23:17,839 --> 00:23:19,214 That's so much better. Let's get it framed! 571 00:23:19,298 --> 00:23:20,630 Yeah, you know, it could be anything. 572 00:23:20,714 --> 00:23:22,381 Could be a roller coaster. It could be a shoe. 573 00:23:22,464 --> 00:23:24,630 It could be a large intestine. You gotta think a little bit. 574 00:23:24,714 --> 00:23:27,298 Oh, I'm think-- You know what it is? It's what you find in a large intestine. 575 00:23:27,381 --> 00:23:29,423 - That's what that is. - Oh, my gosh. Wow. 576 00:23:29,505 --> 00:23:31,214 - It's a piece of shit. It is! - Okay, yeah? 577 00:23:31,298 --> 00:23:33,714 It is, honestly, that's what I think of it, okay? 578 00:23:33,797 --> 00:23:35,881 Because we can't sell it. We can't do anything with it. 579 00:23:35,964 --> 00:23:37,505 I gotta hang this up. 580 00:23:38,214 --> 00:23:39,630 - See this? - Oh, oh. 581 00:23:39,714 --> 00:23:41,131 - You're throwing it in there? - Whoops! 582 00:23:41,214 --> 00:23:43,339 - Oh, now it's a garbage can. - Yeah, and that's garbage. 583 00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:45,505 - So thank you. - Oh, yeah, thank you. 584 00:23:55,630 --> 00:23:57,423 Christine. 585 00:23:57,505 --> 00:23:59,630 - Yes. - Hey. Larry David. 586 00:23:59,714 --> 00:24:01,214 - Hey, Larry. How are you? - Hi. 587 00:24:01,298 --> 00:24:04,298 - I'm good. - Good. I'm kind of surprised to see you here. 588 00:24:04,381 --> 00:24:06,589 - Oh, yeah? Why's that? - Um, I don't know. I mean, 589 00:24:06,672 --> 00:24:08,339 you're known for other things. 590 00:24:08,423 --> 00:24:11,547 Not your activism, or your advocacy for women. 591 00:24:11,630 --> 00:24:14,755 No, I've spent a good deal of my life advocating for women. 592 00:24:14,839 --> 00:24:18,047 - Well, I didn't know that. - And, and, and pursuing them. 593 00:24:18,131 --> 00:24:20,797 - Right. Purs-- Right. Okay. Yeah. - Yes. 594 00:24:20,881 --> 00:24:24,881 That's advocacy in a way, in that I'm pursuing them, I want them. 595 00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:28,214 - I'm advocating for them by pursuing them. - Right. Okay. 596 00:24:28,298 --> 00:24:31,964 Especially if, uh, sex resulted from it, that would be fine. 597 00:24:32,047 --> 00:24:33,630 That's not exactly what I meant. 598 00:24:33,714 --> 00:24:35,881 But, you know, it's a cause that I really believe in, 599 00:24:35,964 --> 00:24:38,047 and I'm really passionate about, so I'm just... 600 00:24:38,131 --> 00:24:40,173 - happy to hear that you are, too. - Oh, yes. Of course. 601 00:24:40,256 --> 00:24:42,630 But anyway, um, so, did you do a doodle? 602 00:24:42,714 --> 00:24:44,881 - Did you-- I didn't-- - Uh, yes, I did. 603 00:24:44,964 --> 00:24:47,214 - I didn't, I didn't-- Oh. - No, it's not on the wall. 604 00:24:47,298 --> 00:24:49,797 It's not on the wall. I noticed your doodle is on the wall. 605 00:24:49,881 --> 00:24:51,298 - Yes. Yes. - Yeah. 606 00:24:51,381 --> 00:24:54,464 - Do you like it? - I like it. I think it's very well done. 607 00:24:54,547 --> 00:24:56,630 - How long did it take you to do that? - I mean, maybe, 608 00:24:56,714 --> 00:24:58,672 I don't know, 20 minutes, half, half an hour. 609 00:24:59,047 --> 00:25:01,339 - Half an hour? - I didn't, I don't-- I didn't time it. 610 00:25:01,423 --> 00:25:03,797 Yeah, but that's not a doodle. That is not a doodle. 611 00:25:03,881 --> 00:25:06,006 - It's a doodle. They're all doodles. - No, it's not a doodle. 612 00:25:06,089 --> 00:25:08,006 That's a p-- Yeah, this is like the Louvre, this place. 613 00:25:08,089 --> 00:25:10,006 - I mean, come on. I, I-- You know what? - Yes. 614 00:25:10,089 --> 00:25:12,797 - What was yours like? - It was open to interpretation. 615 00:25:12,881 --> 00:25:15,089 - Oh, abstract. - That's the beauty of a doodle. 616 00:25:15,173 --> 00:25:16,214 You don't know what it is. 617 00:25:16,298 --> 00:25:18,298 Okay. Did you put any effort into it? 618 00:25:18,381 --> 00:25:20,547 I put the same amount of effort I put into the doodle 619 00:25:20,630 --> 00:25:22,547 as I would if I was talking on the phone doodling. 620 00:25:22,630 --> 00:25:24,714 - Which is to say, none. - Larry, Larry. 621 00:25:24,797 --> 00:25:26,339 if you don't put effort into it, 622 00:25:26,423 --> 00:25:28,339 it just smacks of, I'm sorry to say this, 623 00:25:28,423 --> 00:25:30,797 it smacks of kind of a white male privilege. 624 00:25:30,881 --> 00:25:33,006 You know, that you don't have to put any effort into anything, 625 00:25:33,089 --> 00:25:35,505 you could get away with anything, because you're a white man. Right? 626 00:25:35,589 --> 00:25:37,256 Oh, that's just... That's just nonsense. 627 00:25:37,339 --> 00:25:38,881 Well, then, why didn't you put effort into it? 628 00:25:38,964 --> 00:25:40,547 I'm the only one who followed instructions 629 00:25:40,630 --> 00:25:42,006 out of everybody on this wall. 630 00:25:42,089 --> 00:25:43,547 - There's no doodles here. - I think-- 631 00:25:43,630 --> 00:25:46,047 - They're all doodles, in fact. - None of them are doodles. 632 00:25:46,131 --> 00:25:48,881 Passionate doodles, because we care about this cause, 633 00:25:48,964 --> 00:25:50,672 - and you don't. - Oh, I don't care about the cause? 634 00:25:50,755 --> 00:25:52,589 - No, I don't think you do. - Oh, I don't? I don't, huh? 635 00:25:52,672 --> 00:25:54,381 - What is that? - What is that, a doodle? 636 00:25:54,464 --> 00:25:58,006 That's a speech that I'll be giving that you'll be listening to 637 00:25:58,089 --> 00:25:59,797 - and apologizing to me later... - I don't think so. 638 00:25:59,881 --> 00:26:01,464 - ...for ever talking to me like this. Okay? - I don't think so. 639 00:26:01,547 --> 00:26:03,298 - Who wrote that? Your assistant? - I wrote it. 640 00:26:03,381 --> 00:26:05,047 And it took a lot less time than it took 641 00:26:05,131 --> 00:26:07,047 - for you to do that painting. I can tell you that. - Well, yeah-- 642 00:26:07,131 --> 00:26:09,881 Ladies and gentlemen, Laverne Cox. 643 00:26:16,714 --> 00:26:18,173 Good afternoon. 644 00:26:18,256 --> 00:26:21,547 My name is Laverne Cox, and I am so honored to be here 645 00:26:21,630 --> 00:26:23,881 with each and every one of you, 646 00:26:23,964 --> 00:26:28,089 and to welcome you on behalf of Survivors United. 647 00:26:28,173 --> 00:26:30,047 Now I know these events can be triggering, 648 00:26:30,131 --> 00:26:33,547 but I want to remind you that you are more than your pain. 649 00:26:33,630 --> 00:26:38,464 I want to remind you that you are more than what happened to you. 650 00:26:42,256 --> 00:26:43,672 Our first speaker. 651 00:26:43,755 --> 00:26:46,214 We know them as the cocreator 652 00:26:46,298 --> 00:26:49,131 of the legendary sitcom Seinfeld. 653 00:26:49,214 --> 00:26:53,173 Please join me in welcoming Larry David. 654 00:26:53,839 --> 00:26:56,505 Oh, this is so nice of you. 655 00:26:56,589 --> 00:26:59,505 Well, thank you. Thank you so much. 656 00:27:00,214 --> 00:27:01,839 Ah, stop it. 657 00:27:05,881 --> 00:27:09,298 Oh, no. To you. To you. You're the heroes. 658 00:27:09,381 --> 00:27:10,630 You're the heroes. 659 00:27:18,381 --> 00:27:21,006 - Asshole! - What are you doing? 660 00:27:21,089 --> 00:27:22,714 No, she has a cold! 661 00:27:22,797 --> 00:27:25,173 - What is wrong with you? - She has a cold! 662 00:27:25,256 --> 00:27:28,797 You're such a disgrace! Why would you even come here? 663 00:27:28,881 --> 00:27:31,047 - She has-- - Honestly, what is wrong with you? 664 00:27:31,131 --> 00:27:33,464 - Tell 'em you have a cold! - Asshole! 665 00:27:33,547 --> 00:27:35,547 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You need to go home! 666 00:27:35,630 --> 00:27:37,381 Hey! Hey! 667 00:27:37,464 --> 00:27:38,630 My God! 668 00:27:38,714 --> 00:27:40,881 What the hell? 669 00:27:40,964 --> 00:27:42,381 Hey! Hey! 670 00:27:47,672 --> 00:27:50,006 Well, what was I supposed to do? She had a cold. 671 00:27:50,089 --> 00:27:51,839 - She had a cold? She had a cold. - Yeah. 672 00:27:51,922 --> 00:27:53,464 What if she didn't have a cold? 673 00:27:53,547 --> 00:27:54,755 Ah, well... 674 00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:56,672 You're supposed to kiss her. It's a social nicety. 675 00:27:56,755 --> 00:27:58,339 No, I, you know-- I, I-- 676 00:27:58,423 --> 00:28:01,089 All right, well now we gotta walk this back, I mean, the optics, Larry. 677 00:28:01,173 --> 00:28:03,964 The optics were terrible. This was the way out, do you understand that? 678 00:28:04,047 --> 00:28:06,964 - This, this was, this was supposed to be the olive branch. - Okay. 679 00:28:07,047 --> 00:28:09,423 Okay, okay. I'll, I'll... 680 00:28:09,505 --> 00:28:12,256 make out with Laverne Cox on national television. 681 00:28:12,339 --> 00:28:14,006 We'll-- I'll have a make-out session with her. 682 00:28:14,089 --> 00:28:17,589 No, forget that. How about a, a, a, a nice hug. 683 00:28:17,672 --> 00:28:19,047 I'll give her a hug. 684 00:28:19,131 --> 00:28:20,881 - All right, we'll spitball. - You know. 685 00:28:20,964 --> 00:28:23,339 - But let me set up the meeting, okay? - Slow dance with her. 686 00:28:23,423 --> 00:28:25,131 - A slow dance. - Okay. Okay. 687 00:28:25,214 --> 00:28:26,755 But more of an old-fashioned dance. 688 00:28:26,839 --> 00:28:28,006 - Not, not, you know-- - I, I, I-- 689 00:28:28,089 --> 00:28:30,298 Don't, don't come up with any more ideas. 690 00:28:30,381 --> 00:28:32,922 Okay? Our problem is that Alice does not feel 691 00:28:33,006 --> 00:28:35,589 that what happened was a good-faith fulfillment of the agreement. 692 00:28:35,672 --> 00:28:38,006 Alice, Alice, Alice, Alice. 693 00:28:38,089 --> 00:28:40,089 Oh, I am so sick of this woman! 694 00:28:40,173 --> 00:28:41,964 - So she is now seeking-- - I'm so sick of her! 695 00:28:42,047 --> 00:28:44,214 She is now seeking a personal settlement, 696 00:28:44,298 --> 00:28:46,298 on top of the original donation and speech. 697 00:28:46,381 --> 00:28:48,214 I felt sorry for her. That's why I hired-- 698 00:28:48,298 --> 00:28:49,797 What are you doing? You're writing down again? 699 00:28:49,881 --> 00:28:51,589 Are you kidding? 700 00:28:52,006 --> 00:28:53,714 Oh, get the fuck outta here! 701 00:28:53,797 --> 00:28:57,131 - That's insane! - Well, that's the price of buying back your legacy, 702 00:28:57,214 --> 00:28:58,547 my friend. That's where we are. 703 00:28:58,630 --> 00:28:59,964 Wait, wait. I got an idea. Remem-- 704 00:29:00,047 --> 00:29:03,089 Remember that old, uh, John Lennon, Yoko Ono album 705 00:29:03,173 --> 00:29:06,214 - where they're in bed together? The bed-in? Whatever that was? - Yeah. 706 00:29:06,298 --> 00:29:08,589 I'll be in bed with Laverne Cox. 707 00:29:08,672 --> 00:29:10,089 Some kind-- We get a picture. 708 00:29:10,173 --> 00:29:11,423 - Okay. How about this? - You know? 709 00:29:11,505 --> 00:29:13,464 I think there is one last glimmer of hope, 710 00:29:13,547 --> 00:29:15,173 if we're lucky enough to execute it. 711 00:29:15,256 --> 00:29:18,423 And that is to sit down face-to-face, one last time, 712 00:29:18,505 --> 00:29:20,589 if they will have it, with Alice and her attorneys, 713 00:29:20,672 --> 00:29:23,922 and explain that what happened was a legitimate misunderstanding. 714 00:29:24,006 --> 00:29:27,173 You know what? I think you should put me on the phone with that attorney. 715 00:29:27,256 --> 00:29:29,089 Black women really like me. 716 00:29:29,173 --> 00:29:32,131 Let me set up the meeting, and then we'll go from there. 717 00:29:32,214 --> 00:29:35,173 - You okay with that? - Yeah. I mean, sure. 718 00:29:35,256 --> 00:29:36,672 Good. 719 00:29:37,173 --> 00:29:38,547 Oh, have an apple. 720 00:29:38,839 --> 00:29:40,505 - What? - Yeah. 721 00:29:40,755 --> 00:29:44,630 - Maybe I overreacted last time. Have one. - Wow. 722 00:29:45,047 --> 00:29:46,964 Very proud of you! 723 00:29:47,047 --> 00:29:49,131 You are making progress. 724 00:29:49,423 --> 00:29:51,964 Aah. Larry-- No, no! 725 00:29:54,089 --> 00:29:56,547 - What the fuck? - Oh, my God. 726 00:29:56,630 --> 00:29:58,964 Oh, my God! 727 00:30:01,006 --> 00:30:04,131 I chipped my tooth! 728 00:30:04,214 --> 00:30:05,755 I didn't think you'd bite it. It was artificial! 729 00:30:05,839 --> 00:30:07,547 Then what the fuck did you offer it to me for? 730 00:30:07,630 --> 00:30:09,630 I thought you'd pick it up and think it was great. 731 00:30:09,714 --> 00:30:11,298 - What are you, fucking stupid? - I'm sorry. 732 00:30:11,381 --> 00:30:13,672 You're sorry? You're sorry? 733 00:30:13,755 --> 00:30:15,464 You think you're sorry? 734 00:30:15,547 --> 00:30:16,964 Shove it up your ass! 735 00:30:21,381 --> 00:30:24,131 Kill that bastard. I should sue him! 736 00:30:24,214 --> 00:30:26,131 At least yours was an accident. 737 00:30:26,214 --> 00:30:28,423 My lawyer, he offered me the fruit on purpose. 738 00:30:28,505 --> 00:30:29,797 At least I didn't offer it to you. 739 00:30:29,881 --> 00:30:31,173 Well, now you know how I feel. 740 00:30:31,256 --> 00:30:33,214 You smirked when I bit it. You smirked! 741 00:30:33,298 --> 00:30:35,505 - There was no smirk. Get out of here. - Smirk. 742 00:30:35,589 --> 00:30:38,006 And my dentist, also. What? 743 00:30:38,089 --> 00:30:41,423 Can't see me till tomorrow? I need that? It's an emergency! 744 00:30:45,131 --> 00:30:46,339 Hello? 745 00:30:47,089 --> 00:30:50,089 Suspicious activity? On my credit card? 746 00:30:50,423 --> 00:30:54,256 A thousand dollars of papas bravas, manchego cheese, paella? 747 00:30:54,755 --> 00:30:57,089 Uh! No! 748 00:30:57,173 --> 00:30:59,214 I didn't order that. But I know who did! 749 00:30:59,298 --> 00:31:01,797 Francisco Zarzal. Cancel my credit card! 750 00:31:01,881 --> 00:31:04,505 Come on. we have to find Francisco Zarzal. 751 00:31:04,589 --> 00:31:06,464 - Francisco Zarzal. - Let's go. 752 00:31:06,547 --> 00:31:08,256 This guy's got some nerve. 753 00:31:08,339 --> 00:31:09,964 He play you for a sucker. 754 00:31:10,047 --> 00:31:11,964 - He play you for a straight sucker. - Yeah. 755 00:31:12,047 --> 00:31:14,505 - It's stealing. It's just stealing, plain and simple. - It's bullshit. 756 00:31:14,589 --> 00:31:16,922 It's bullshit. This is bullshit. 757 00:31:17,006 --> 00:31:19,881 - What the--? - You'll see. Take a ride. 758 00:31:19,964 --> 00:31:23,006 - All right. - Bullshit. Straight bullshit. 759 00:31:25,298 --> 00:31:26,839 He's playing us for suckers. 760 00:31:26,922 --> 00:31:28,381 Why do you sound like that? 761 00:31:28,464 --> 00:31:30,547 I chipped my tooth. How about you? 762 00:31:30,630 --> 00:31:32,881 My tongue's all swollen. It sucks. 763 00:31:32,964 --> 00:31:36,464 I have to call Zaragoza. See if I can track down Francisco Zarzal. 764 00:31:45,797 --> 00:31:47,630 Wow. 765 00:31:47,714 --> 00:31:50,423 Look at this. This has to be it. 766 00:31:51,589 --> 00:31:53,505 - What is this? - Lo siento. Lo siento. 767 00:31:53,589 --> 00:31:56,755 - Lo siento. Lo siento. - Multo lo siento. 768 00:31:56,839 --> 00:31:58,423 - Lo siento. - Multo lo siento. 769 00:31:58,505 --> 00:32:01,755 Excuse me. Have you seen Francisco Zarzal? 770 00:32:01,839 --> 00:32:03,505 He's a server at Zaragoza? 771 00:32:03,589 --> 00:32:05,505 No, I haven't seen Francisco. 772 00:32:05,589 --> 00:32:07,173 - Lo siento. - Lo siento. 773 00:32:07,256 --> 00:32:10,672 - Lo siento. - Lo siento. Lo siento. Lo siento. 774 00:32:13,964 --> 00:32:16,339 I don't see him anywhere. You know what I see? 775 00:32:16,423 --> 00:32:19,797 I see everything I paid for. Floral arrangements, the candles, 776 00:32:19,881 --> 00:32:21,423 the alcohol, everything. 777 00:32:21,505 --> 00:32:23,173 - Look at the sumptuous spread. - Yeah. 778 00:32:23,256 --> 00:32:25,214 I paid for that, too. Come on. Let's eat. 779 00:32:25,298 --> 00:32:28,589 - Hey, where the fuck you-- - Hey, hey. I'm already going this way. 780 00:32:28,672 --> 00:32:30,672 Give me a plate. 781 00:32:30,755 --> 00:32:33,089 Gimme some of that. 782 00:32:33,173 --> 00:32:35,672 - Give me some eggs. - No toast? 783 00:32:36,797 --> 00:32:39,381 - There's no toast. - You? 784 00:32:40,214 --> 00:32:41,714 Again with the toast? 785 00:32:41,797 --> 00:32:45,214 You have to have toast when you eat eggs. It's a necessity. 786 00:32:45,298 --> 00:32:46,964 What are you even doing here? 787 00:32:47,047 --> 00:32:49,423 Francisco! 788 00:32:50,339 --> 00:32:51,630 Excuse me. 789 00:32:51,714 --> 00:32:53,298 - Excuse me. - Excuse me. 790 00:32:53,381 --> 00:32:55,381 Hello, Francisco. 791 00:32:55,464 --> 00:32:59,464 It seems as if you've been using... 792 00:32:59,547 --> 00:33:01,173 my credit card. 793 00:33:01,256 --> 00:33:02,922 What do you have to say for yourself? 794 00:33:03,006 --> 00:33:06,381 Excuse me, this is not a conversación en la recepción de Concepción Zarzal. 795 00:33:06,630 --> 00:33:08,214 Will you repeat that, please? 796 00:33:08,298 --> 00:33:12,131 I don't think this is a conversación en la recepción de Concepción Zarzal. 797 00:33:12,214 --> 00:33:13,423 We do it in Zaragoza. 798 00:33:13,505 --> 00:33:15,630 Oh, the conversation. 799 00:33:15,714 --> 00:33:17,755 You want to have the conversation at Zaragoza. 800 00:33:17,839 --> 00:33:19,464 Were these charges from Zaragoza? 801 00:33:19,547 --> 00:33:21,173 No, not from Zaragoza. From here. 802 00:33:21,256 --> 00:33:23,006 Or perhaps this is a mistake, 803 00:33:23,089 --> 00:33:25,339 because our cards, they look very similar. 804 00:33:25,423 --> 00:33:28,505 - But perhaps I used the number, but I don't under-- - Similar? 805 00:33:28,881 --> 00:33:31,714 How are they similar? The numbers are not the same. 806 00:33:31,797 --> 00:33:34,964 The names are certainly not the same. One says Larry David, 807 00:33:35,047 --> 00:33:37,630 the other says Francisco Zarzal. 808 00:33:37,714 --> 00:33:40,006 - It's not Zarzal, it's Tharthal. - Zarzal. 809 00:33:40,089 --> 00:33:41,423 - Tharthal. - Zarzal. 810 00:33:41,505 --> 00:33:42,922 - Tharthal. - Zarzal. 811 00:33:43,006 --> 00:33:44,381 - Tharthal! - Zarzal. 812 00:33:44,464 --> 00:33:46,256 - Tharthal! Hijo de puta. - Zarzal? 813 00:33:46,339 --> 00:33:48,381 - Oye. You're making fun of the way we speak. - No! 814 00:33:48,464 --> 00:33:51,047 - No, I'm not making fun. My tooth is chipped. - Don't mock me. 815 00:33:51,131 --> 00:33:53,173 - Lo siento. - Lo siento. 816 00:33:53,256 --> 00:33:54,589 - They're making fun. - They're making fun. 817 00:33:54,672 --> 00:33:56,131 - What? No, no, no! - You're making fun. 818 00:33:56,214 --> 00:33:58,173 - What are you doing? No, no, no, no. - Lo siento. 819 00:33:58,256 --> 00:34:00,339 - Lo siento! - Lo siento! 820 00:34:00,423 --> 00:34:02,214 - No disrespect! No disrespect! - Lo siento! 821 00:34:02,298 --> 00:34:05,797 They're making fun of us. They're disrespecting us. 822 00:34:10,630 --> 00:34:14,755 Motherfuckers! Get the fuck off me! 823 00:34:14,839 --> 00:34:18,047 Lo siento. Lo siento. Lo siento. 824 00:34:18,131 --> 00:34:19,922 - Basura! - Basura! 825 00:34:20,006 --> 00:34:23,047 No dumping in the garbage can! No dumping in the garbage can! 826 00:34:23,131 --> 00:34:27,381 I said lo siento! I said lo siento! I said lo siento! 827 00:34:52,339 --> 00:34:53,922 Sir, the Union broke through our lines, 828 00:34:54,006 --> 00:34:56,464 and our troops have retreated across the Appomattox. 829 00:34:59,339 --> 00:35:03,173 Gentlemen, I believe I need some time to myself. 830 00:35:03,256 --> 00:35:08,505 Ted Danson is... Lee. 831 00:35:20,547 --> 00:35:24,089 - So, look, I'm sure we'll go over all this stuff upstairs-- - I don't think we should speak 832 00:35:24,173 --> 00:35:25,839 unless our attorneys are present. 833 00:35:25,922 --> 00:35:28,797 You just have to know that that whole thing was a-- It was a huge-- 834 00:35:28,881 --> 00:35:32,047 The audience misunderstood because I, I, she had a cold. 835 00:35:32,131 --> 00:35:34,714 You made a mockery of the entire event. 836 00:35:34,797 --> 00:35:37,505 You made a mockery of sexual harassment survivors. 837 00:35:37,589 --> 00:35:39,505 And you violated the terms of our agreement. 838 00:35:39,589 --> 00:35:41,256 I think we should just wait for the lawyers. 839 00:35:41,339 --> 00:35:44,256 Yeah, I had, I had a whole speech prepared. It was a great speech. 840 00:35:44,339 --> 00:35:46,464 I talked about Gloria Steinem. You know, I had a picture of her 841 00:35:46,547 --> 00:35:48,589 up on my wall when I was a teenager. 842 00:35:48,672 --> 00:35:50,589 She was really attractive. 843 00:35:50,672 --> 00:35:52,339 Excuse me? 844 00:35:52,423 --> 00:35:53,423 No? 845 00:35:53,505 --> 00:35:56,881 That's just completely inappropriate. 846 00:35:56,964 --> 00:36:00,214 Okay. You know what? Are you hungry? 847 00:36:00,547 --> 00:36:02,173 Um, a little. 848 00:36:02,256 --> 00:36:03,630 Stay right there. I have something for you. 849 00:36:03,714 --> 00:36:05,131 Don't, don't move. Stay right there. 850 00:36:05,214 --> 00:36:07,714 If the elevators come, I'm getting in one. 851 00:36:11,964 --> 00:36:14,630 Okay. All right. 852 00:36:14,714 --> 00:36:16,214 - Here you go. - What is this? 853 00:36:16,298 --> 00:36:19,173 This is a scone. They're fantastic. 854 00:36:19,256 --> 00:36:20,922 Why do you have these? 855 00:36:21,006 --> 00:36:24,256 Well, because I have a, uh, I'm opening up a store. 856 00:36:24,339 --> 00:36:27,755 T-try it. You'll love it. Thank you. 857 00:36:30,214 --> 00:36:32,672 Huh? What do you think? 858 00:36:32,755 --> 00:36:34,381 Pretty good, right? 859 00:36:34,464 --> 00:36:36,755 Yeah. Darn right, they're good. 860 00:36:40,589 --> 00:36:43,547 - It's so dry. - Dry? Dry? 861 00:36:45,922 --> 00:36:47,714 - Can't breathe. - Uh? 862 00:36:47,797 --> 00:36:50,589 Oh, my God! What? Heimlich? Oh! 863 00:37:04,964 --> 00:37:07,339 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 864 00:38:08,923 --> 00:38:10,755 You don't invite a divorced couple to a wedding, 865 00:38:10,839 --> 00:38:12,547 it's a very combustible situation. 866 00:38:12,714 --> 00:38:14,381 You should-- Two sides, pick one! 867 00:38:14,464 --> 00:38:15,881 _ 868 00:38:15,964 --> 00:38:17,173 I need your weights, by the way. 869 00:38:17,256 --> 00:38:18,797 - What do you mean? - For the plane. 870 00:38:18,881 --> 00:38:21,464 I'd rather be dead in the Sea of Cortez 871 00:38:21,547 --> 00:38:23,714 than have you know what I weigh. 872 00:38:24,214 --> 00:38:26,173 - Oh! ¿Qué pasa, Larry? - What? 873 00:38:26,381 --> 00:38:28,839 - Are you kidding me? - Yeah, not bad, huh? 874 00:38:29,214 --> 00:38:30,922 - How's your room? - It stinks! 875 00:38:31,006 --> 00:38:32,298 Why did you even come here? 876 00:38:32,714 --> 00:38:35,381 'Cause everybody was going. It was presented to me like it would be fun. 877 00:38:35,881 --> 00:38:37,755 - We're having fun. - It is fun. 878 00:38:38,006 --> 00:38:39,256 Yeah... I'm having fun.