1 00:00:06,005 --> 00:00:12,971 ♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM" THEME MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 2 00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:14,764 Hey, I really shouldn't pay you, honestly. 3 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,933 Why should I pay? You talked during the putt. 4 00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:19,519 -I could've made that-- -I was talking pre-putt, and you decided-- 5 00:00:19,602 --> 00:00:21,396 -No, it wasn't pre-putt. -Yes, it was. It was pre-putt. 6 00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:23,106 -Do you think that was pre-putt? -It was definitely pre-putt. 7 00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:25,066 Jeff, did he talk during my putt? 8 00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:26,234 I'm not saying anything. 9 00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:28,153 -Oh! -That's everything! He just said everything! 10 00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:30,155 -Jeff, you know what Dante said. -JEFF GREENE: What? 11 00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:32,198 "The hottest places in hell are reserved for those 12 00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:34,617 who in time of crisis retain their neutrality." 13 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,745 -I don't wanna say anything. -You're goin' straight to hell. 14 00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:39,706 -You're like a desperate guy, just grasping at, like... -LARRY DAVID: Desperate guy? 15 00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:42,167 -You talked during the putt. -...quotes? Quotes from Dante over the putt? 16 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:44,294 -Freddy! What's up, kid? -My man! Hey, buddy! 17 00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:46,379 -HAL BERMAN: How you doing, Larry? -Hey, Hal! Hey, Hal. 18 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:48,506 -You look good, buddy. -LARRY: Thank you. 19 00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:54,846 What the fuck did I do? 20 00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:56,264 That was a snub. That was a total-- 21 00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:58,641 No, no, no. It wasn't like he didn't even look at me. 22 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,310 -He looked right at me. -That was intentional. 23 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,562 -LARRY: That was a total snub. -Yeah. I was uncomfortable. 24 00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:06,107 -What the hell happened with you two? -I set him up on a date 25 00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:09,444 with a friend of mine, producer named Gabby McAfee, 26 00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:12,071 and, uh, he hasn't spoken to me since. 27 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:13,448 -What? -JEFF: Yeah. 28 00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:15,116 I have no i-- I have no idea why. 29 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,451 Did you try and contact him? 30 00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:20,121 Yeah. I texted him, called him, I walked up to him. 31 00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:22,457 -Well how'd that-- What'd he do? -Ignored me. 32 00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:23,792 -Wow! -JEFF: I don't get it. 33 00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:27,086 She's beautiful, she is smart, 34 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:28,838 she is kind, she's great. 35 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,174 How come you didn't fix me up with her if she's so great? 36 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:32,342 I don't know. 37 00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,427 -What's her name? Gabby McAfee? -JEFF: Gabby McAfee. 38 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:35,929 FREDDY: Probably shouldn't even say it, 39 00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:37,222 but it's probably common knowledge. 40 00:01:37,305 --> 00:01:38,807 You've heard the thing about Hal, right? 41 00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:41,184 -Oh, yeah. yeah. -FREDDY: Yeah. I think the whole club knows. 42 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:42,519 I have no idea. 43 00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,521 He slept with his mother-in-law. 44 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:45,939 -Hal slept with his mother-in-law? -Yeah. 45 00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:48,066 -Shut the fuck up. No way! -Yeah. 46 00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:50,318 -Liars! -Okay. What did you hear? 47 00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:53,154 I-- I only heard that he fucked his mother-in-law. 48 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:54,364 Tell me more. What did you hear? 49 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,616 -That's all I got. -What more do you need to hear? 50 00:01:56,699 --> 00:01:58,993 -And that led to his divorce. -JEFF: Oh, wow. 51 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,328 -That's what I heard. -LARRY: Yeah. 52 00:02:00,411 --> 00:02:01,996 But was it ongoing or one time? 53 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,790 I think it was a couple times. Yeah. 54 00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,416 -That's what I heard. Yeah. -JEFF: Oh. 55 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:09,003 Wow. Gabby McAfee. She's something. 56 00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:11,047 -Yeah! -Uh-huh! 57 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,298 She's a beautiful girl. 58 00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:14,884 You'll set me up? 59 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,386 -All right, I'm gonna ask you one quick question. -Sure. 60 00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:18,471 Did you fuck your mother-in-law at any point? 61 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,223 (LAUGHS) 62 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:21,891 'Cause I ain't setting you up if you did. 63 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:24,561 -Well... -Okay. Yeah, I'll call her. 64 00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:27,021 -No problem. -And you know what else? 65 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:28,857 Maybe I could do a little, uh, 66 00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,567 -investigation. -As to, uh-- 67 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,443 As to what happened on that date 68 00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:35,071 that he would never speak to you again. 69 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,532 -All right. Thank you. -That looks good. 70 00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:38,908 Look at you. Still with the fries. 71 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,327 I love them. You want one? Don't even ask. Jump in. 72 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:42,871 -Should I try one? -(CUTLERY CLATTERS) 73 00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,414 -SAUL BERMAN: (GROANS) -HAL: You all right? Dad? 74 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:45,707 -SAUL: (GROANS) -Oh, my God! 75 00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:46,875 I think he's having a heart attack. 76 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:49,627 -(CLAMOR) -Call 911! Call 911! 77 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,754 -SAUL: (GROANS) -Oh, my. That's Saul Berman. 78 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:54,424 Dad, come down to the floor. Easy, easy, easy. 79 00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:55,758 Is there a doctor in here? 80 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,260 You're all right. Just lay down. 81 00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:58,845 -It looks serious. -HAL: Hold my hand. 82 00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:00,054 -Hold my hand. -It does. 83 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,264 I got you. I got you. 84 00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:03,600 Okay, Dad. Just breathe, just breathe, just breathe. 85 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:06,436 I got you. Hold my hand. Squeeze my hand. Here you go. 86 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:09,898 Okay. Good, good. All right. Got you. Can you talk? 87 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,066 -Okay. -HAL: Okay, okay. okay. 88 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:15,570 Want some water? Huh? No? We got a doctor coming. 89 00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:17,488 -♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ -HAL: Okay. 90 00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:20,491 Just squeeze it! Squeeze as hard as hard as you can! Okay-- 91 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:25,413 -All right. -SAUL: (GROANS) 92 00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:29,542 SAUL: (GROANS) 93 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:38,134 RADIO COMMENTATOR: That wraps it up here. 94 00:03:38,217 --> 00:03:42,639 Final score: Knicks 101, Sixers 97. 95 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:45,391 Tom, what-- what was the problem with the Sixers tonight? 96 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,060 -(PHONE RINGS) -FREDDY FUNKHOUSER: Hello? 97 00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:48,686 Hey, Freddy. It's me. 98 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,105 -FREDDY: How are you? -I'm on my way to Katsuya 99 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:52,690 to meet Gabby McAfee. 100 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:55,443 FREDDY: Oh, nice. You're chopping it up with Gabby. I like it. 101 00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:58,571 I just looked in the mirror, and a button fell off my shirt. 102 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,115 I've got tons of T-shirt exposed. 103 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:04,118 You can't have more than three-quarters of an inch of T-shirt showing. 104 00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:05,370 FREDDY: Oh, that's terrible. 105 00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,372 Would it be okay if I came over and borrowed a shirt? 106 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:08,456 I'm right near your house. 107 00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:09,874 FREDDY: Okay. You wanna come get a shirt? 108 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,668 -Come get a shirt. -Okay, great. 109 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:14,170 ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYS, STOPS) ♪ 110 00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:16,839 Tonight, we're gonna get something great for you. 111 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,383 Are you sure you don't wanna go T-shirt? 112 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,093 Because I think it could look good. 113 00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,136 -T-shirt, really? -Very sinewy! 114 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,596 -You look fantastic! -LARRY: Sinewy? 115 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,807 Look at that word you just threw out. 116 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,433 You know, people... 117 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,477 -people underestimate you. -FREDDY: They do? 118 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,771 You're actually a little brighter than-- than you come off. 119 00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:33,815 I'd bet you're sitting on some pretty big words too, 120 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:36,401 when you need 'em. Now, let's take a look. 121 00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:38,486 I wanna try for the same palette. 122 00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:39,654 Yeah, I get it. 123 00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:41,114 LARRY: Just wanna be comfortable. 124 00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:43,616 Oh, God! 125 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,660 Oh, Jesus. I just burned the shit out of my hand. 126 00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:46,828 What? Oh, jeez. 127 00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:48,746 Because I just found something pretty hot. 128 00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,873 BOTH: (LAUGHING) 129 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,333 Oh, my hand! It's what? (GASPS) 130 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,545 You tell me, LD! You tell me, LD! 131 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,256 Oh. Oh, yeah. 132 00:04:58,339 --> 00:04:59,799 -Really nice item. -Very nice item. 133 00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:01,592 Well, you're gonna enjoy it. I think she's gonna enjoy it too. 134 00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:03,302 All right, this is great. I'll take it. 135 00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:04,679 Yeah, I think this will be great. 136 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,852 Thank you. Thank you, sir. 137 00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:12,395 -Yes. May I help you? -How do you do? 138 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:14,605 -Yes. -Larry David, table for two. 139 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:17,734 Oh, you're the first one here! Uh-- Shall I take your umbrella? 140 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:20,445 (SCOFFS) I thought it was gonna rain. What happened? 141 00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:21,779 -Huh? -I don't know. 142 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:22,989 -They said rain. -Okay. 143 00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:25,033 -I'm not crazy. -Thank you. Thank you. 144 00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:27,869 -Yes, yes. Uh-- Table? -Sure. 145 00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:29,370 HOST: Ohitorisama goraiten desu! 146 00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:31,205 BOTH: Irasshaimase! 147 00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:33,958 LARRY: Oh! Well. 148 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:36,544 Thank you, thank you. I love that greeting. 149 00:05:36,627 --> 00:05:39,172 HOST: Please. This is your table, sir. 150 00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:41,090 -And your menu. -(EXHALES SHARPLY) 151 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,009 And somebody will be right with you, sir. 152 00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:44,260 -Thank you. -Thank you. 153 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:48,639 -There he is. -HOST: May I help you? 154 00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:49,974 Hi. Yeah, I'm just meeting Mr. David. 155 00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,642 -Oh, okay. Right this way. -Yeah. 156 00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,186 -(SHOUTS) Irasshaimase! -CHEFS: Ira-- 157 00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:55,271 -GABBY MCAFEE: Whoa! Hello! -LARRY: Hello! 158 00:05:55,354 --> 00:05:57,940 I'm Gabby, obviously. I love it! 159 00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,734 -Huh? Do you love that greeting? -I love it! 160 00:05:59,817 --> 00:06:01,194 Is that the best greeting you've ever had? 161 00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:02,195 Absolutely! 162 00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:03,613 -And do you speak Japanese? -(INAUDIBLE) 163 00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:06,824 Oh, yeah. I speak six languages, including Guamish. 164 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,451 -That's what they speak in Guam. -Island of Guam. 165 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:12,455 -Yeah, on the island of Guam. -Chefs say "irasshaimase." 166 00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,499 Could you please not say "irasshaimase"? 167 00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:16,084 -HOST: Thank you. -What? That's-- What? 168 00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:19,504 Sushi chefs say "irasshaimase." Guests don't say "irasshaimase." 169 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:24,717 -Sorry. -Thank you for understanding, 170 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,636 and enjoy your dinner. Thank you. 171 00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:29,305 -GABBY: Wow. -The chef is upset 172 00:06:29,388 --> 00:06:33,226 -that I said "irasshaimase"? -I have been here 100 times. 173 00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:35,645 I've never been reprimanded by the host. 174 00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:38,022 Is this the first time you've been reprimanded by a host? 175 00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,941 -Alas, no. -GABBY: No? 176 00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:42,777 You know, maybe just tonight, first date, 177 00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:45,113 we-- we're on our best behavior. 178 00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:48,282 -Maybe? -(LAUGHS) I'll try. 179 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,326 GABBY: (LAUGHS) 180 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:52,954 -Look at-- Delicious! -I know. 181 00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:54,705 This is my favorite place. Thank you so much. 182 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,791 Larry, I wasn't even gonna come on this date. 183 00:06:56,874 --> 00:06:59,627 I mean, honestly, I've had such bad luck since my divorce. 184 00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:01,504 But Jeff told me... 185 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:04,340 "Worst thing that happens, it doesn't work out, 186 00:07:04,423 --> 00:07:06,175 he's a great person to break up with." 187 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,344 -Oh, yeah. I'm great. -Oof! Really? 188 00:07:08,427 --> 00:07:09,512 Oh, yeah. Like, if we go out, 189 00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:11,764 like, for six months or eight months or whatever, 190 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:15,518 all you gotta do is say, "Hey, I don't wanna see you anymore." And I go, "Ah! Okay." 191 00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:16,853 No drama? 192 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,855 -Zero. -That's a good quality. 193 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,898 I walk away, and I never give you-- 194 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,276 -Not another thought. -I don't give you another thought. 195 00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:24,318 -Wow! -Yeah. 196 00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:27,029 That's... That's almost, um... 197 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,156 like a sociopath, but... 198 00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:29,323 -LARRY: (LAUGHS) -...borderline. 199 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:30,867 You know what? That's one of the nicest things 200 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,326 anyone's ever said to me. 201 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,162 Well, do you have any other good qualities? 202 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:35,454 Yes, I do. 203 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:36,622 Okay. 204 00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:39,750 So discreet. 205 00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:42,086 Really? Good at keeping a secret, you think? 206 00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,213 -Absolutely! -Okay. 207 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,424 I want us to tell each other something 208 00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:48,342 we've never told anybody. 209 00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:49,760 -Bring it on. -Okay. 210 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:54,015 When I was younger, I was a teacher in high school... 211 00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:55,808 (CLEARS THROAT, WHISPERS) ...and I... 212 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,602 slept with one of my students. 213 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,606 (CLEARS THROAT) Excuse me. (CHUCKLES) 214 00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:05,359 -Hmm? -Did I just hear you say that 215 00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:08,321 you were a teacher in high school and... 216 00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:09,780 you slept with one of your students? 217 00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:13,367 -Did I get that right? -Consenting people. 218 00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:15,411 -Wow! -He was 18. 219 00:08:15,494 --> 00:08:17,038 Was he-- Was he a senior? 220 00:08:17,121 --> 00:08:19,040 -Yeah. -Did you go to the prom? 221 00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,458 Oh, I'm not gonna go into this. 222 00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:22,710 What was his extra-curricular activity? 223 00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:24,086 He was a basketball player. That's it. 224 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,088 I'm not going to-- I'm not saying anything more. 225 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,840 -Did you go to the games? -I told you the secret. 226 00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,800 Did he give you a little wink when he was playing? 227 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,844 If he made a shot, did he look over? 228 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:34,472 -Larry, we don't need to get into all this stuff. -No, no. No, I'm just curious. 229 00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:35,890 -You know what? -What? 230 00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:37,433 Time for you to tell me your secret. 231 00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:39,477 Let's hear it. Come on. 232 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:41,646 Give it up. 233 00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:43,397 Okay, look. I'll tell you this, okay? 234 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,691 -Okay. -But honestly... 235 00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:50,029 you cannot mention this... 236 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:52,949 to anyone, ever. 237 00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:57,036 Larry, trust. Trust. 238 00:08:58,412 --> 00:08:59,956 Okay. (CLEARS THROAT) 239 00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:07,046 I have a fantastic shortcut to the valley. 240 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:09,340 Tremendous. 241 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:13,386 -That's your secret? -Oh, yeah. Yeah. 242 00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:15,179 I told you... 243 00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:18,975 that I slept with a student. Your secret is Waze. 244 00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,643 Let me tell you something. There's no comparison 245 00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:22,728 -between these two secrets. -No, there's not! 246 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:25,564 My secret improves your quality of life. 247 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,275 Your secret's just interesting. 248 00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:30,903 Why don't you tell me the shortcut, and I'll be the judge of how useful this... 249 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,613 secret is? 250 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,490 Cosiano, Sepulveda, 251 00:09:34,573 --> 00:09:36,784 Mulholland, Longbow, 252 00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:38,619 Woodcliff, 253 00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,955 to Valley-- Valley Vista. 254 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,458 That's your cousin. 255 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:45,835 I gotta write this down. I gotta write-- 256 00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:48,421 No! Are you serious? No, you can't write that down. 257 00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:50,756 You lose it, somebody finds it. No good. 258 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,092 Okay, but you can't tell anybody what I said. 259 00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:55,386 -What did you say? -Uh-huh? That's funny. 260 00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:57,346 -You like that? -You're funny! (CHUCKLES) 261 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,265 -Hey, let me ask you something. -Okay. 262 00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:02,184 -You went out with Hal Berman? -A couple times. 263 00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,020 What's the deal? What happened? 264 00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:05,646 I don't know, you'd have to ask him. 265 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:07,481 Hmm. 266 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:09,483 You've got to try these Brussels sprouts, Larry. 267 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:12,320 -They're amazing! -(SIGHS) 268 00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:15,072 HOST: Ofutarisama goraiten desu! 269 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,241 -CHEFS: (SHOUTING) Irasshaimase! -(SCREAMS) 270 00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,160 -GABBY: Oh. -LARRY: What the... 271 00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:23,539 -(SHOUTS) Irasshaimase! -(SHOUTS) Irasshaimase! 272 00:10:23,622 --> 00:10:25,708 -(SHOUTS) Irasshaimase! -(SHOUTS) Irasshaimase! 273 00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:28,044 -(SHOUTS) Irasshaimase! -(SHOUTS) Irasshaimase! 274 00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,795 -(SHOUTS) Irasshaimase! -(SHOUTS) Irasshaimase! 275 00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:32,048 -(SHOUTS) Irasshaimase! -CHEFS: (SHOUTING) Irasshaimase! 276 00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,633 -(SHOUTS) Irasshaimase! -(SHOUTS) Irasshaimase! 277 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:37,803 (SCREAMS) Irasshaimase! 278 00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:40,348 (SILENCE) 279 00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:42,975 ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 280 00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:49,106 LARRY: I had a great time. That's all I can tell you. 281 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:50,858 -It was a great date. -Great date? 282 00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:53,444 (CHUCKLING) I don't know what Hal's problem was. 283 00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:55,154 What kinda things did you talk about? 284 00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:56,655 We talked about general stores. 285 00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:58,407 -(CHUCKLES) You did, huh? -Yeah. 286 00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,575 -JEFF: Okay. -Yeah. 287 00:10:59,658 --> 00:11:01,410 Did you bring your general store photo book with you? 288 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,788 I had photos in my phone of different general stores 289 00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:05,873 -throughout the country. -Well, that's your passion. 290 00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:07,541 -Yeah. (CHUCKLES) That's my passion. -That's your passion. 291 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:08,709 That's your great love. 292 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:09,960 (BOTH LAUGH) 293 00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:12,213 She was good at conversation? Fun? 294 00:11:12,296 --> 00:11:14,799 The conversation was flowing so easily. 295 00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:16,926 I even left my umbrella at the restaurant. 296 00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,219 I gotta go back and get it later. 297 00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:20,221 But the rest of the date went well? 298 00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:22,848 I mean, there was one weird thing. 299 00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:25,226 -What was the weird thing? -She wanted, like, to do this thing 300 00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:26,685 where we kind of... 301 00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:29,480 swapped secrets, you know... I don't know. 302 00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:32,566 -What was her secret? -(STUTTERS) 303 00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,985 -You know, I'd feel terrible. -It's me. 304 00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:36,070 Why would you not tell me? 305 00:11:36,153 --> 00:11:38,322 I wouldn't like myself if I told you. 306 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:39,907 But you don't like yourself anyway. 307 00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:43,828 You cannot say a word about this to anybody. 308 00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:45,162 -Honestly. -Come on. 309 00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,957 Okay. Well, she used to be a high school teacher. 310 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,084 Yeah. 311 00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:53,254 -She fucked one of her students. -She fucked one of her students? 312 00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:55,548 -Are you fucking kidding me? -She fucked one of her students? 313 00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:56,924 Ooh. 314 00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:58,801 -Yo... -Boy, that didn't take long. 315 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,262 (SCREAMS) You couldn't keep that secret for five seconds! 316 00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:03,180 I didn't directly tell him, I indirectly-- 317 00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:04,348 But you did! 318 00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,058 -That's so hot. -LARRY: Yeah. 319 00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,602 -Crazy hot. Sorry. -That's real hot. 320 00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:09,979 That's the shit right there. 321 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,522 Although I can't think of any teachers in my high school 322 00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:13,232 that I really wanted to have sex with. 323 00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:15,151 There's only one teacher but I-- 324 00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:16,777 that I wanted. Mrs. Fish. 325 00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:18,112 I can tell you that Miss Rogers 326 00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:19,780 was not the cause of any tumescence 327 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,032 -among the young men in my school. -JEFF: Miss Rogers? 328 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,617 -LARRY: Yeah. -What'd she look like? 329 00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:26,579 -She was on death's door. -ALL: (LAUGHING) 330 00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:28,914 Veins popping out all over her body. 331 00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:32,001 Oh, man. In my case, I fucked the school nurse. 332 00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:33,627 She was fuckin' fine as shit. 333 00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,754 Every time I had a tummy ache, I tapped that ass. 334 00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:38,883 So, did you make up that you had a tummy ache just to go there? 335 00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:40,926 Yeah. She gave me a spoonful of Pepto-Bismol 336 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,136 and a fucking hand job. 337 00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:45,222 (CHUCKLES) Thank you-- Thank you for your contribution. 338 00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:46,765 He's got a wild imagination. 339 00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,851 So, wait, wait. What was your secret? 340 00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:51,479 -I-- I can't tell my secret. -JEFF: Why? 341 00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:53,272 Because then, it's no longer a secret. 342 00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:55,858 -Yeah, but it's to me. Go. -Okay. 343 00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:58,944 I got a shortcut to the valley. 344 00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,362 You got a shortcut to the valley? 345 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,198 -LARRY: Yeah. -You got a shortcut 346 00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:03,782 -to the valley? -JEFF: No one's got a shortcut-- 347 00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,701 -You fucking did it again! -LEON BLACK: Shortcut? 348 00:13:05,784 --> 00:13:08,204 -You did it again! -I apologize. I apologize. 349 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:10,956 It was two secrets in the space of a few minutes! 350 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,251 But you know a great shortcut to the valley. 351 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:15,794 -LARRY: Yes, I do. -And you've never told me. 352 00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:17,213 -LARRY: It never came up. -Never told him. 353 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:19,381 If I tell you the shortcut, then it's no longer a shortcut. 354 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:20,716 You're not gettin' the shortcut. 355 00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:22,927 Don't give me that look. I know that look. 356 00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:25,179 You're not gettin' it. Fix the TV! 357 00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:27,723 I can't fix that TV, man. That TV is fucked. 358 00:13:27,806 --> 00:13:29,433 It ain't gonna work. I tried everything. 359 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,060 -LARRY: Seriously? -Seriously. 360 00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:33,020 -I need a new one? -LEON: You need a new TV. 361 00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:35,356 I just got a new TV. It's great. 362 00:13:35,439 --> 00:13:37,149 -Really? -Best TV I've ever had. 363 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,734 -Is that so? -Yeah, come over and take a look. 364 00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:42,196 -(HIGH-PITCHED BEEPING) -Oh. Freddy's shirt. Wait a second. 365 00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:43,614 JEFF: All right, let me get something to eat. 366 00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:45,491 Does your TV have, uh, picture-in-picture? 367 00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,368 -LARRY: Oh, man! -Picture-in-picture? 368 00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:49,411 -(GROANS) -JEFF: That's old. 369 00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:50,663 Look at this. 370 00:13:51,455 --> 00:13:52,831 Oh, my God! 371 00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:54,500 -Aw, damn. -What happened? 372 00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,085 I spilled soy sauce on it, 373 00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,629 -and I tried to get it out with soap. -What kind of soap did you use? 374 00:13:58,712 --> 00:14:00,923 -You know, just Dial. -Bar soap? 375 00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:02,633 -Bar soap! -That's the worst! 376 00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:04,385 -Really? -JEFF: Oh, God! Yeah! 377 00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:06,387 -Soap stains. -Soap stains? 378 00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:07,680 BOTH: Soap stains. 379 00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,265 Who makes a cleaning product that stains? 380 00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:11,267 That's like a Band-Aid that cuts! 381 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:12,893 Here's a little secret. 382 00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,895 Freddy's shirt is fucked. 383 00:14:15,854 --> 00:14:18,023 ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 384 00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:24,905 LARRY: Hey! 385 00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:26,782 (SIGHS) Hey. 386 00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:29,243 -Hi, Hal. -(CLICKS TONGUE) Hey, Larry. 387 00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:31,078 -How's, uh-- How's your dad? -(SIGHS) 388 00:14:31,161 --> 00:14:32,955 Ah, you know, not great. 389 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:34,206 Ah. 390 00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:35,541 Came to get his lucky rabbit foot. 391 00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:36,959 He keeps it in his locker. 392 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:38,460 -LARRY: Oh, really? -He got a hole-in-one with this, so... 393 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,671 Really? Maybe I should start playing with a rabbit's foot. 394 00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:41,880 -Huh? -Yeah. You never know. 395 00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:43,632 Well, um, give him my best. 396 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,593 Yeah. Well, why don't you pray for him, huh? 397 00:14:46,885 --> 00:14:47,928 Eh... 398 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:49,638 "Eh"? 399 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,808 Come on, now. Pray? Uh... I'll feel like an idiot. 400 00:14:52,891 --> 00:14:54,226 -I can't do that. -Are you kidding me? 401 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,686 I don't-- I wouldn't even know where to begin. 402 00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:57,354 How do you even do it? Do you get on your knees? 403 00:14:57,438 --> 00:14:59,064 -Do you put your hands together? -No, you don't have to-- 404 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:03,277 Just say, "God, please make Saul Berman live." That's it. 405 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:04,570 I can't do that. 406 00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:07,448 Do you know that prayer to Jews has been integral since, 407 00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:09,283 you know, getting out of Egypt, right? 408 00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,452 I would submit it's as big a waste of time 409 00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:14,288 -as watching The Kardashians. -I don't understand you. 410 00:15:14,371 --> 00:15:15,581 This is why you join a club. 411 00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:17,875 So that you can be together with other members 412 00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,418 in a time of need. 413 00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:21,503 No, I joined for the golf. 414 00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,839 And you know what? I'm enjoying pickleball too. 415 00:15:23,922 --> 00:15:25,341 -Have you played? -What if your prayer 416 00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:27,176 were the thing that saved him? 417 00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:29,595 -Wait a second. Are you praying? -Of course I'm praying. 418 00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:31,805 So, let me put myself in God's shoes for a second. 419 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:33,349 -Okay. -"Oh, there's the son! 420 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:34,683 Oh, the son's praying! 421 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,645 Eh... I need more than that. I'm gonna need more than that. 422 00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:40,648 Oh! Oh, there-- Ah, Larry David! 423 00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:42,941 Oh! Okay, I'll save him!" 424 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,860 How do you know prayers don't work? 425 00:15:44,943 --> 00:15:46,362 Because I'm bald. 426 00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:50,074 Hey, Hal! 427 00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:52,076 You went out with Gabby McAfee, right? 428 00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:53,577 -Yeah. -Yeah, I had a date with her. 429 00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:55,496 I'm seeing her again on Saturday night. 430 00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:56,830 Let me guess. Katsuya? 431 00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:58,374 Yeah! Yeah, she likes that place. 432 00:15:58,457 --> 00:15:59,958 Yeah, well. Good luck. 433 00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,877 What ever happened with you two? 434 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,462 I can tell you this much, Larry. 435 00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:06,548 What goes around comes around. 436 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,594 "What goes around comes around." 437 00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:13,555 (INHALES DEEPLY) Eh. 438 00:16:14,973 --> 00:16:16,850 -Hey. -Irasshaimase! 439 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,727 -How you doing? -LARRY: Good. 440 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:21,105 How'd it go? 441 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:22,690 -The date? -Yeah. 442 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,316 -Oh, went great. -Well, tell me about her. 443 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,027 Uh-- She's everything Jeff said, uh, she was. 444 00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:28,696 That's terrific. 445 00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:33,033 There was, unfortunately, one casualty from the evening. 446 00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:34,910 What did you do? What happened? 447 00:16:34,993 --> 00:16:36,161 (PAPER BAG RUSTLES) 448 00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:41,500 LARRY: Your shirt got ruined. 449 00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:43,585 What the fuck happened to the shirt? 450 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:44,753 LARRY: I'm so sorry. 451 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,171 The chef yelled out "irasshaimase" 452 00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:48,132 as I was pouring soy sauce, and... 453 00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:51,218 it scared me, and-- and I... got it on the shirt. 454 00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:52,928 Looks like you were a part of a home birth or something. 455 00:16:53,011 --> 00:16:55,264 So, it-- So-- So soy sauce spilled all over it. 456 00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:57,850 I put soap on it, and, uh... 457 00:16:57,933 --> 00:16:59,935 You never put soap on a fabric like this. 458 00:17:00,018 --> 00:17:02,146 I didn't know soap stains. 459 00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:03,772 Ah, fuck. I loved this shirt, man. 460 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:04,982 LARRY: (CLICKS TONGUE) I'm so sorry. 461 00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:07,067 You know, I called the company to replace it 462 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:09,236 and they don't make it anymore. 463 00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:11,989 How-- How do you replace someone's favorite shirt? 464 00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:14,366 What? Favorite shirt? What are you talking-- 465 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:15,576 You just don't buy another one. 466 00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:17,453 -Favorite shirt? -Yeah, it's my favorite shirt. 467 00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,455 -You loaned me your favorite shirt? -Yes. 468 00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:20,914 Why would you loan me your favorite shirt? 469 00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,499 Because I'm a friend, and you were uncomfortable 470 00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:23,584 going on the date. 471 00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:25,419 Still, you don't give out your favorite shirt. 472 00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,629 -Oh, yeah, it's my fault. -Everybody knows that. 473 00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:30,215 What do we do? How do we get out of this? 474 00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:32,926 -I don't know. -This is horrible. 475 00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:35,262 I'm happy to replace it with any shirt you want. 476 00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:36,555 We can go shopping or-- 477 00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:39,475 I think the thing that would-- would mean something to me 478 00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,185 would be you actually... 479 00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:43,937 giving me your favorite shirt. 480 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:47,399 That's really biblical, real eye-for-eye stuff. 481 00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:48,776 I'm not giving you my favorite shirt. 482 00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:50,277 That's out of the question. 483 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:51,695 Okay, fine. 484 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,947 Don't give me your favorite shirt. 485 00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:56,575 Just give me the gray and blue, uh, two-tone shirt. 486 00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:58,285 (SIGHS) 487 00:17:58,368 --> 00:18:01,330 You're not getting my blue and gray two-tone, okay? 488 00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:03,957 You don't give up a two-tone. That's my favorite shirt. 489 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:06,335 You know it. It's not even up for discussion. 490 00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:08,462 You never give up a two-tone, ever. 491 00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:11,965 Okay. I don't know that I feel much like eating. 492 00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:14,843 -(GLASS CLATTERS) -I'm glad the date went well... 493 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,596 and that I could be a friend when you needed one. 494 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,557 LARRY: Oh, come on! 495 00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:22,267 -Sorry, Freddy. -Yeah. 496 00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:23,519 Say sorry with the two-tone. 497 00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,479 Pick out any shirt in the closet you want. 498 00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:26,980 Any one! 499 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:28,857 Why does it have to be the blue and gray two-tone? 500 00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:33,320 Irasshaimase! 501 00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:37,991 Ah! Mr. Takahashi. 502 00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:40,661 You don't say "irasshaimase" here! 503 00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:42,204 You know, I said it at the Japanese restaurant, 504 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:43,372 and they didn't like it either. 505 00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:46,166 That's because when you say it, it sound redneck. 506 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,585 I'm not saying it right? What-- How do you say it? 507 00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:51,380 -"Irasshaimase." -"Irasshaimase." 508 00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:53,298 No, no, no. Terrible. 509 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:54,883 -Huh? -MR. TAKAHASHI: You know terrible? 510 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,552 -Yeah. -That's you. 511 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:59,721 -Okay. All right. Okay. -(CELL PHONE CHIMES) 512 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,767 Totemo kanashii. 513 00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:05,435 Saul Berman. 514 00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:08,605 -He not make it. -Oh. 515 00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:11,733 It's interesting because you would think 516 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:14,778 that having a heart attack at a country club like this, 517 00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,905 -there'd be doctors around. -No. 518 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:19,741 -Only plastic surgeon here. -Hmm. 519 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:23,328 One more time "irasshaimase" here, out! 520 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,247 Bakayarou! 521 00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:31,545 HOST: We're not open, sir. 522 00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:34,047 -Yes. -Ah. Mr. David. 523 00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:35,632 Hi. Uh... 524 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,342 I left my umbrella here last night. 525 00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,095 Can you describe the umbrella? 526 00:19:40,178 --> 00:19:43,515 It's a green umbrella. It says, "Dallas Omni Hotel." 527 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,976 -Hmm. -Yeah. There-- There it is. 528 00:19:46,059 --> 00:19:47,436 It's right there. 529 00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:51,023 Oh. You mean this umbrella? 530 00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:52,024 Yeah. Yes. 531 00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:54,151 Why does it say "Dallas Omni Hotel?" 532 00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:55,861 I was staying in the hotel. It was raining. 533 00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:57,946 They-- They let me take the umbrella 534 00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:58,947 when I went to the airport. 535 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,282 That's what they do for their guests. 536 00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:04,661 Should I return it to you or Dallas Omni Hotel? 537 00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:06,413 Return it to me! I'll return it to the hotel! 538 00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:07,915 Anyway, it's really not your business. 539 00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:09,708 -Give me the umbrella. -No, no, no. We will return it for you. 540 00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:10,959 You don't need to return it for me! 541 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,337 I'll return it myself! It's not your umbrella! 542 00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:15,380 But it's not yours either. 543 00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:18,008 I borrowed it. I'll return it. Okay? 544 00:20:18,091 --> 00:20:21,428 Mr. David, I will be honored to return this for you. 545 00:20:21,511 --> 00:20:23,472 No. It would be my honor if you gave it to me. 546 00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:26,350 -Oh, it will be more our honor. -No, it's my honor! 547 00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:27,559 -No, my honor! -My honor! 548 00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:29,728 My honor! I want that umbrella! That's my umbrella! 549 00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:31,396 It is not your umbrella. 550 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,190 -All right. Enough of this. Just-- -(YELLS) 551 00:20:34,691 --> 00:20:35,984 You have no right to do this! 552 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,277 No right! You're stealing! 553 00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:38,445 -You wanna call-- -I'm calling the police! 554 00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:39,863 -Oh! Let's call the police! -You're stealing! 555 00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:43,784 A bald man steal umbrella! Yes, let's report! 556 00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:46,328 What do you care about the Dallas Omni Hotel? 557 00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:50,249 Because there's a rule and regulation for everything. 558 00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:52,960 -Ah. -Ah! 559 00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:56,088 Yeah, I see. Now, I get the whole thing. 560 00:20:56,171 --> 00:20:59,383 You're upset about-- that I irasshaimased last night, right? 561 00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:00,509 No, no, no, no-- 562 00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:02,678 Customer's not supposed to irasshaimase. 563 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:06,014 -I didn't know. Nobody told me. -Oh, I told you. 564 00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,015 All right, but-- 565 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:09,685 You did not follow the rule and regulation. 566 00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:13,689 Oh, I'm sorry if I didn't follow the irasshaimase rules. 567 00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:15,983 Oh, no. Umbrella rule you didn't follow either. 568 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:18,652 Oh... Oh... The precious irasshaimase rule! 569 00:21:18,735 --> 00:21:22,364 "Only chef irasshaimase!" What a bunch of crap! 570 00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:24,199 I'll irasshaimase any time I want! 571 00:21:24,282 --> 00:21:27,119 I like irasshaimaseing! It's very welcoming! 572 00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:29,162 It feels very good to irasshaimase, 573 00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:30,998 and I'll continue to irasshaimase! 574 00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:32,791 I didn't steal the umbrella, okay? 575 00:21:32,874 --> 00:21:34,084 You're stealing the umbrella! 576 00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:36,586 -Oh, yes! -You're stealing! Yeah! You're stealing! 577 00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:38,296 HOST: (SCOFFS) 578 00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:44,386 The irasshaimase! Oh! So sacred! Irasshaimase! Irasshaimase! 579 00:21:44,469 --> 00:21:45,721 Oh, come on! 580 00:21:48,598 --> 00:21:50,058 (SIGHS) 581 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:53,520 ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 582 00:22:05,949 --> 00:22:08,744 INSPECTOR GREGSON: This makes four, Inspector. 583 00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:10,912 Four defenseless women here in the heart of London. 584 00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:12,539 And every one with the right forefinger 585 00:22:12,622 --> 00:22:13,665 -hacked off. -(DOORBELL RINGS) 586 00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:15,792 SHERLOCK HOLMES: Not hacked, Inspector Gregson. 587 00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:17,461 Cleanly, expertly severed. 588 00:22:17,544 --> 00:22:19,921 GREGSON: Is there no way of stopping this, Mr. Holmes? 589 00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:21,506 -(DOORBELL RINGS) -HOLMES: There's a way, somehow. 590 00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:23,341 GREGSON: We can't get far without knowing the motive. 591 00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:25,093 -HOLMES: Well, at least we know what the motives were not. -(KNOCKING) 592 00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:28,972 It wasn't robbery, nor passion, thanks be, nor yet vengeance, 593 00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:31,433 because they all came of totally unrelated families. 594 00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:32,809 Steady, Inspector. Steady. 595 00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:34,478 (IMITATING BRITISH ACCENT) "Steady, Inspector. Steady." 596 00:22:34,561 --> 00:22:36,897 -GREGSON: Sorry, Mr. Holmes. -HOLMES: Yes, it's horrible. 597 00:22:36,980 --> 00:22:38,106 Come on, let's get a drink. 598 00:22:39,107 --> 00:22:40,734 "Let's get a drink." 599 00:22:40,817 --> 00:22:43,070 DR. WATSON: Well, whoever's behind all this thing must be out of his mind. 600 00:22:43,153 --> 00:22:44,571 On the contrary, my dear fellow. 601 00:22:44,654 --> 00:22:46,073 -"On the contrary, my dear fellow." -HOLMES: The most brilliant 602 00:22:46,156 --> 00:22:47,574 and ruthless intellect the world has ever known. 603 00:22:47,657 --> 00:22:49,242 -You don't mean Professor Moriarty. -(DOOR UNLOCKS) 604 00:22:49,326 --> 00:22:50,577 -I do. -Oh, steady, Holmes. 605 00:22:50,660 --> 00:22:51,828 -You've got him on the brain. -(DOOR CLOSES) 606 00:22:51,912 --> 00:22:53,538 "Steady Holmes, you've got him on the brain." 607 00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:55,916 -What are you doin'? What are you doin' here? -Oh! Hey! 608 00:22:55,999 --> 00:22:57,042 Um... 609 00:22:57,876 --> 00:22:58,919 I'm getting a new television 610 00:22:59,002 --> 00:23:00,670 and Jeff said you have a great one. 611 00:23:00,754 --> 00:23:01,963 He told me to come over 612 00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:03,465 and let myself in and check it out 613 00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:05,467 and, you know, make myself at home. So, you know-- 614 00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:08,386 Clearly you did, just lying on the couch, huh? 615 00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:10,347 -Oh, my feet weren't on there. -Uh-huh? 616 00:23:10,430 --> 00:23:11,640 Did you notice where my feet were, 617 00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:12,808 -how they were on the corner? -Yeah. Yeah. 618 00:23:12,891 --> 00:23:13,975 I hope you saw that. 619 00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:16,853 Is it so terrible for a person to look relaxed? 620 00:23:16,937 --> 00:23:18,814 I don't understand what you're doing here in the first place. 621 00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:20,440 You looked at the TV, now leave! 622 00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:21,942 I'm in the middle of this movie. 623 00:23:22,025 --> 00:23:24,152 -In my house! -LARRY: Sherlock Holmes! 624 00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:26,404 Somebody's chopping off women's fingers, okay? 625 00:23:26,488 --> 00:23:27,948 -Uh-huh? -And Holmes is on the case! 626 00:23:28,031 --> 00:23:30,158 He's on the case, he'll solve it. You could leave. 627 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:31,785 Okay, fine. Can I tape it? 628 00:23:31,868 --> 00:23:33,453 No, because that would require 629 00:23:33,537 --> 00:23:36,706 you returning to the scene of the crime to watch it! 630 00:23:36,790 --> 00:23:39,960 Is there any way you could DVR it and then email it? 631 00:23:40,043 --> 00:23:42,170 What am I, the fucking AV Squad? 632 00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:43,880 No, I don't think so! 633 00:23:43,964 --> 00:23:45,841 -Fine. I'll leave. -Thank you. 634 00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:48,343 By the way, there was somebody who rang bell earlier. 635 00:23:48,426 --> 00:23:50,679 -SUSIE GREENE: Who was it? -I don't know, I didn't answer. 636 00:23:50,762 --> 00:23:53,265 (INHALES) It was my dress. It was my dress being delivered. 637 00:23:53,348 --> 00:23:55,142 I need it for the event this weekend. 638 00:23:55,225 --> 00:23:57,269 Why didn't you fucking answer it? 639 00:23:57,352 --> 00:23:59,187 This is not my house. I'm not even supposed to be here. 640 00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:00,897 -Why am I answering your door? -But you were here! 641 00:24:00,981 --> 00:24:03,483 Yeah, I was here literally, but not figuratively. 642 00:24:03,567 --> 00:24:06,653 All right, you know what? You go pick the dress up for me. 643 00:24:06,736 --> 00:24:10,323 All right? 'Cause you couldn't get off your ass to go to the door, 644 00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:11,908 then you can go drive all the way 645 00:24:11,992 --> 00:24:14,035 to the dressmaker and pick it up for me! 646 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:15,996 I don't understand. If I wasn't here, the guy knocks, 647 00:24:16,079 --> 00:24:18,248 nobody answers, and you still don't get your dress. 648 00:24:18,331 --> 00:24:19,374 So how's it my fault? 649 00:24:19,457 --> 00:24:22,711 But you were here! So now, you go pick up my dress! 650 00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:25,380 -"Steady, Inspector. Steady." -What? 651 00:24:25,463 --> 00:24:27,549 (IN BRITISH ACCENT) All right. I'll pick up your dress for you, 652 00:24:27,632 --> 00:24:29,217 but I feel it's only fair to warn you 653 00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:32,053 that this path you're on is quite treacherous... 654 00:24:32,137 --> 00:24:34,890 and can lead to unforeseen consequences. 655 00:24:34,973 --> 00:24:36,600 Oh! No shit, Sherlock! 656 00:24:36,683 --> 00:24:38,852 Just get the fucking dress, okay? 657 00:24:41,104 --> 00:24:42,189 GUEST: I'm so sorry for your loss. 658 00:24:42,272 --> 00:24:44,191 Oh, hey. Thanks for coming. Thank you. 659 00:24:48,111 --> 00:24:49,863 LARRY: What? Oh, no! 660 00:24:49,946 --> 00:24:50,864 (HORNS HONKING) 661 00:24:50,947 --> 00:24:54,201 Oh, my God! Are you fucking kidding me? 662 00:24:55,452 --> 00:24:58,038 -(HORNS HONKING) -Oh, my God. 663 00:24:58,121 --> 00:24:59,206 (CELL PHONE VIBRATES) 664 00:25:00,207 --> 00:25:01,875 -Hello. -Hey, it's me. 665 00:25:01,958 --> 00:25:04,294 Uh-- Where are you? The thing's about to start. 666 00:25:04,377 --> 00:25:05,754 I'm on Longbow. 667 00:25:05,837 --> 00:25:08,882 I took my shortcut, but it's not working. 668 00:25:08,965 --> 00:25:11,092 -There's traffic. -JEFF: Oh, you're kidding. 669 00:25:11,176 --> 00:25:12,719 LARRY: Oh, come on! 670 00:25:12,802 --> 00:25:14,137 Why is there so much traffic? 671 00:25:14,221 --> 00:25:16,598 There's never traffic on this shortcut! 672 00:25:16,681 --> 00:25:19,059 And I think Gabby must have told people about it. 673 00:25:19,142 --> 00:25:20,352 -JEFF: Ah... -I knew it! 674 00:25:20,435 --> 00:25:21,770 I knew I shouldn't have told her! 675 00:25:21,853 --> 00:25:23,230 How long till you're here? 676 00:25:23,313 --> 00:25:25,232 I think I'm just gonna turn around and go home. 677 00:25:25,315 --> 00:25:27,067 What? So, you'll be a little late. 678 00:25:27,150 --> 00:25:28,568 Yeah. I-- I can't sit in traffic. 679 00:25:28,652 --> 00:25:31,363 I'm-- I'm too smart. I'm not like these people. 680 00:25:31,446 --> 00:25:33,990 You have to have done something stupid to be in traffic. 681 00:25:34,074 --> 00:25:36,201 I don't belong here. I'm gonna turn around. 682 00:25:36,284 --> 00:25:37,244 JEFF: (GROANS OVER PHONE) 683 00:25:37,327 --> 00:25:38,954 LARRY: Tell-- Tell Hal I'm sorry. 684 00:25:39,037 --> 00:25:40,080 (TIRES SCREECH) 685 00:25:41,665 --> 00:25:43,959 (SIGHS) Larry's not coming. Too much traffic. 686 00:25:44,042 --> 00:25:45,877 -Turned around and went home. -Ah. 687 00:25:47,045 --> 00:25:49,339 Did he mention to you what he did to my shirt? 688 00:25:49,422 --> 00:25:51,299 Why did you give him your favorite shirt? 689 00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:53,134 I guess it's my fault. You think it's my fault? 690 00:25:53,218 --> 00:25:54,302 No. (MUMBLES) 691 00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:56,096 What would you do if someone asked for a nice shirt? 692 00:25:56,179 --> 00:25:58,014 Uh... If it's my friend, I'd give it to 'em. 693 00:25:58,098 --> 00:26:00,225 And then if they spilled, what would be your expectation? 694 00:26:00,308 --> 00:26:02,519 That they'd get it cleaned and or replace it. 695 00:26:02,602 --> 00:26:03,645 Yeah. 696 00:26:04,771 --> 00:26:05,855 That's right. 697 00:26:06,898 --> 00:26:08,191 I'm sorry for your loss. 698 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:13,113 SPEAKER: Devoted husband to his lovely wife, Anna, 699 00:26:13,196 --> 00:26:16,783 caring and loving father to his sons, Hal and Caleb, 700 00:26:17,617 --> 00:26:19,286 and, on occasion, 701 00:26:19,369 --> 00:26:21,955 -not a bad golfer. (CHUCKLES) -GUESTS: (CHUCKLING) 702 00:26:22,038 --> 00:26:24,958 I know he would've been very gratified 703 00:26:25,041 --> 00:26:27,627 to see all his friends and colleagues 704 00:26:27,711 --> 00:26:29,421 who came out to pay tribute 705 00:26:29,504 --> 00:26:31,589 to this wonderful, wonderful man, 706 00:26:31,673 --> 00:26:34,259 one of whom I'd like to bring up right now. 707 00:26:34,342 --> 00:26:36,678 -Freddy Funkhouser. -(WHISPERS) I miss him. 708 00:26:39,347 --> 00:26:40,390 Thank you. 709 00:26:41,933 --> 00:26:43,435 (INHALES DEEPLY) 710 00:26:43,518 --> 00:26:45,520 Saul was a terrible golfer. 711 00:26:45,603 --> 00:26:47,147 Unless there was a little scratch on the line. 712 00:26:47,230 --> 00:26:49,649 -Then, he was Jack Nicklaus. -GUESTS: (CHUCKLING) 713 00:26:49,733 --> 00:26:52,819 -FREDDY: I loved him. -Ah, Freddy. He loved you. 714 00:26:52,902 --> 00:26:54,321 These moments matter. 715 00:26:54,404 --> 00:26:56,364 And to look out and see... 716 00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:58,992 everyone here who made such a sacrifice to be here, 717 00:26:59,075 --> 00:27:01,536 I know for the family, it means everything. 718 00:27:01,619 --> 00:27:03,830 Larry David, uh, couldn't make it here today. 719 00:27:03,913 --> 00:27:04,873 He got stuck in traffic, 720 00:27:04,956 --> 00:27:06,166 and he turned around and went home. 721 00:27:06,249 --> 00:27:08,418 GUESTS: (GASPING AND MURMURING) 722 00:27:08,501 --> 00:27:09,794 FREDDY: You know, Saul was the kind of guy 723 00:27:09,878 --> 00:27:11,671 that would give you the shirt off his back, 724 00:27:11,755 --> 00:27:13,882 even if it was his favorite one. He wouldn't care. 725 00:27:13,965 --> 00:27:18,219 And if he was the one to stain that shirt? Guess what. 726 00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:20,138 He would've given you his favorite shirt back. 727 00:27:20,221 --> 00:27:22,682 He wouldn't just put his head in the sand... 728 00:27:22,766 --> 00:27:24,351 and make it uncomfortable for everybody. 729 00:27:24,434 --> 00:27:26,227 Probably would've given you two shirts. 730 00:27:27,979 --> 00:27:30,231 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 731 00:27:44,287 --> 00:27:46,748 (SCOFFS) What the hell's going on here? 732 00:27:46,831 --> 00:27:48,583 I'm gettin' a lot of dirty looks. 733 00:27:48,666 --> 00:27:51,711 -Uh... Freddy. -What? 734 00:27:51,795 --> 00:27:53,463 Well, when he spoke, 735 00:27:53,546 --> 00:27:56,132 he said, "Larry David couldn't be here today 736 00:27:56,216 --> 00:27:59,094 because he got stuck in traffic and turned around." 737 00:27:59,177 --> 00:28:01,846 What? Is he nuts? Why would he do that? 738 00:28:01,930 --> 00:28:04,057 -I don't know. I don't know. -That's crazy! 739 00:28:04,140 --> 00:28:06,434 It's 'cause I ruined his favorite shirt. I stained it. 740 00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:07,602 Who gives their favorite shirt out? 741 00:28:07,685 --> 00:28:08,937 -No-- No-- Nobody. -Who lends it? 742 00:28:09,020 --> 00:28:10,855 -You don't do that. -JEFF: No. No. 743 00:28:10,939 --> 00:28:12,732 And by the way, so what if I missed the funeral? 744 00:28:12,816 --> 00:28:14,234 -(GRUNTS) -I went to his second wedding, 745 00:28:14,317 --> 00:28:15,985 I went to his 60th birthday party. 746 00:28:16,069 --> 00:28:18,613 How many things is somebody supposed to go through in their life? It's crazy! 747 00:28:18,696 --> 00:28:21,241 Then throw in a graduation on top of it, a bar mitzvah! 748 00:28:21,324 --> 00:28:23,034 -Yeah. -I mean, there's no end to it! 749 00:28:23,118 --> 00:28:24,494 What do they want from you? 750 00:28:24,577 --> 00:28:27,747 None of this is your fault. It's all Gabby's fault. Yeah. 751 00:28:27,831 --> 00:28:30,542 -'Cause she's got a big mouth... -Mm-hmm. 752 00:28:30,625 --> 00:28:32,585 -All right. You ready for this? -What? 753 00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:35,797 I know what happened with Hal. 754 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,800 -I figured it out. -What? 755 00:28:38,883 --> 00:28:41,970 She must've asked for a secret on their date... 756 00:28:42,053 --> 00:28:44,681 then told everybody about the mother-in-law. 757 00:28:44,764 --> 00:28:45,974 No doubt about it. 758 00:28:46,057 --> 00:28:47,475 -That's it. -You nailed it! 759 00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:48,935 LARRY: She's a blabbermouth. 760 00:28:49,018 --> 00:28:50,687 -What an idiot! -Yes. 761 00:28:50,770 --> 00:28:51,729 Who goes on a date and goes, 762 00:28:51,813 --> 00:28:53,231 "By the way, I fucked my mother-in-law"? 763 00:28:53,314 --> 00:28:54,482 (LAUGHS) 764 00:28:54,566 --> 00:28:56,776 -I know, it's so crazy. -JEFF: It's crazy! 765 00:28:56,860 --> 00:28:58,445 But that's why he's not talking to you. 766 00:28:58,528 --> 00:29:00,864 So, you're-- you're done with her? You're not gonna see her anymore? 767 00:29:00,947 --> 00:29:02,615 -Oh. No, I'm gonna see her. -Oh, you are? 768 00:29:02,699 --> 00:29:03,783 -Oh, yeah. -Oh. 769 00:29:03,867 --> 00:29:05,285 -MR. TAKAHASHI: (GRUNTS) -JEFF: Ah! Mr. Takahashi. 770 00:29:05,368 --> 00:29:07,120 Mr. Takahashi! 771 00:29:07,203 --> 00:29:10,874 In honor of Saul Berman, the club will be mourning. 772 00:29:10,957 --> 00:29:13,209 So, no levity. 773 00:29:13,293 --> 00:29:15,795 -Smiling okay? -No. Not even smiling. 774 00:29:15,879 --> 00:29:17,797 -Chuckling? -No chuckling. 775 00:29:17,881 --> 00:29:19,257 Hey, let me ask you a question. 776 00:29:19,340 --> 00:29:21,050 Do you ever go to Katsuya? 777 00:29:21,134 --> 00:29:22,552 -Oh, Katsuya? -LARRY: Yeah. 778 00:29:22,635 --> 00:29:23,845 Yes, my favorite. 779 00:29:23,928 --> 00:29:25,346 Could you do me a favor? 780 00:29:25,430 --> 00:29:26,973 I left an umbrella there, 781 00:29:27,056 --> 00:29:28,683 and they won't give it back to me. 782 00:29:28,766 --> 00:29:29,809 Why not get new umbrella? 783 00:29:29,893 --> 00:29:31,686 Oh, because you can't replace this umbrella. 784 00:29:31,769 --> 00:29:34,856 It holds up in gale-force winds. It never goes inside out. 785 00:29:34,939 --> 00:29:36,774 It's the best umbrella I ever had. 786 00:29:36,858 --> 00:29:38,193 No umbrella like that. 787 00:29:38,276 --> 00:29:40,820 This umbrella is like that. 788 00:29:40,904 --> 00:29:43,865 -Sou desu ka? -What does that mean? 789 00:29:43,948 --> 00:29:46,075 -"Is that right?" -Oh... "Sou desu ka." 790 00:29:46,159 --> 00:29:48,411 -"Sou desu ka." -"Sou desu ka." 791 00:29:48,495 --> 00:29:51,164 -"Sou desu ka." -"Sou desu ka." 792 00:29:51,247 --> 00:29:52,999 -JEFF: "Desu ka." -"Sou desu ka." 793 00:29:53,082 --> 00:29:55,043 "Sou desu ka." Anyway, what do you think? 794 00:29:55,126 --> 00:29:56,586 Could you get it back for me? 795 00:29:57,128 --> 00:29:58,129 No! 796 00:29:59,130 --> 00:30:01,633 ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 797 00:30:01,716 --> 00:30:04,511 -(THUNDER RUMBLES) -(RAIN POURS) 798 00:30:10,016 --> 00:30:14,062 (THUNDER RUMBLES) 799 00:30:24,447 --> 00:30:25,490 (SCREAMS) 800 00:30:30,286 --> 00:30:31,371 (SCREAMS) 801 00:30:35,166 --> 00:30:37,043 -(DOORBELL RINGS) -SUSIE: Coming! 802 00:30:40,505 --> 00:30:42,507 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 803 00:30:42,590 --> 00:30:44,259 Are you fucking kidding me? 804 00:30:44,592 --> 00:30:45,593 No good? 805 00:30:50,765 --> 00:30:52,100 GABBY: You're a sharp dresser, you know that? 806 00:30:52,183 --> 00:30:54,102 -LARRY: Yeah. -What is this? This, uh... shirt? 807 00:30:54,185 --> 00:30:56,104 -It's one of my two-tones. -What's a two-tone? 808 00:30:56,187 --> 00:30:58,022 It's got, uh, two different colors 809 00:30:58,106 --> 00:30:59,482 for the inside and the outside. 810 00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:01,484 Do you ever dress up? Do you have a tux? 811 00:31:01,568 --> 00:31:02,986 LARRY: Yes. Of course I have a tux. 812 00:31:03,069 --> 00:31:05,572 GABBY: Do you enjoy getting dressed up or it's just the casual? 813 00:31:05,655 --> 00:31:08,575 It's not the dressing up part that's disturbing to me, 814 00:31:08,658 --> 00:31:11,494 it's where you go after you're dressed up. 815 00:31:11,578 --> 00:31:13,871 -Tuxedo itself is fine. Yeah. -(LAUGHS) Yeah. 816 00:31:13,955 --> 00:31:15,873 Like, if I just sat in the house with a tuxedo on, 817 00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:16,916 that would be okay. 818 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,209 You'd be okay just watching some sports? 819 00:31:18,293 --> 00:31:19,961 Yeah. As long as I don't have to go to the place 820 00:31:20,044 --> 00:31:21,546 where I have to wear the tux. 821 00:31:21,629 --> 00:31:22,839 (LAUGHS) 822 00:31:22,922 --> 00:31:25,633 So, um, I had to go to the valley the other day. 823 00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:28,886 -Mmm. -Imagine my surprise... 824 00:31:28,970 --> 00:31:33,391 when the traffic was backed up to Sunset Boulevard. 825 00:31:33,474 --> 00:31:35,476 -You... -(LAUGHS) 826 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,396 ...opened your big, gentile mouth. 827 00:31:38,479 --> 00:31:39,939 I told two friends. 828 00:31:40,023 --> 00:31:41,232 Two friends with very long commutes, 829 00:31:41,316 --> 00:31:42,567 by the way. But that's-- 830 00:31:42,650 --> 00:31:44,861 That is not enough to make a-- a-- a-- 831 00:31:44,944 --> 00:31:47,739 -a traffic jam to Sunset. -No, no! It is! 832 00:31:47,822 --> 00:31:49,407 Two friends tell two other friends 833 00:31:49,490 --> 00:31:50,450 tell two other friends! 834 00:31:50,533 --> 00:31:53,828 -It's like the coronavirus. -I am sorry... 835 00:31:53,911 --> 00:31:56,247 and I promise I won't tell anybody else. 836 00:31:56,331 --> 00:31:57,957 You know what? Even though... 837 00:31:58,041 --> 00:32:00,710 you gabbed and gave away a precious secret... 838 00:32:00,793 --> 00:32:01,794 Yes? 839 00:32:01,878 --> 00:32:04,297 ...I'm still considering having sex with you. 840 00:32:04,380 --> 00:32:05,423 (GASPS) 841 00:32:05,506 --> 00:32:06,966 I'm not taking it off the table. 842 00:32:07,050 --> 00:32:08,176 You're not taking it off the table? 843 00:32:08,259 --> 00:32:09,844 -No, no. For now. -Okay. 844 00:32:09,927 --> 00:32:11,054 -Yeah. -Okay. 845 00:32:11,137 --> 00:32:12,889 Eh... 846 00:32:12,972 --> 00:32:14,349 We'll see how it goes. 847 00:32:15,433 --> 00:32:16,934 -LARRY: ...Brussels sprouts. -GABBY: Ew! 848 00:32:17,018 --> 00:32:19,312 So many things to find out about you! 849 00:32:19,395 --> 00:32:21,481 -HOST: Oh, welcome back! -Thank you. 850 00:32:21,564 --> 00:32:23,983 -Oh, you're back too. -LARRY: That's right. 851 00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:25,777 Uh-- I asked for the same table. 852 00:32:25,860 --> 00:32:27,320 -Right this way. -LARRY: That-- That's okay. 853 00:32:27,403 --> 00:32:28,780 We'll find it. Yeah. 854 00:32:30,198 --> 00:32:31,908 Did you mail that umbrella? 855 00:32:31,991 --> 00:32:35,328 -Uh-- Please, enjoy your dinner. -Yeah, thank you. Yeah. 856 00:32:38,748 --> 00:32:40,500 -Irasshaimase! -Irasshaimase! 857 00:32:40,583 --> 00:32:43,628 He steal umbrella from Dallas Omni Hotel! 858 00:32:43,711 --> 00:32:47,048 -She slept with student! -He ask her to prom! 859 00:32:47,131 --> 00:32:48,716 What? 860 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,385 -You told them? -No, I didn't. 861 00:32:50,468 --> 00:32:52,011 -You swore to me. -I didn't say anything. 862 00:32:52,095 --> 00:32:54,222 He was captain of basketball team! 863 00:32:54,305 --> 00:32:55,723 She blew him in car! 864 00:32:55,807 --> 00:32:57,475 -DINERS: (GASPING) -(SCOFFS) 865 00:32:57,558 --> 00:32:58,601 (SCOFFS ANGRILY) 866 00:33:02,438 --> 00:33:05,650 ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 867 00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:14,325 Gochisousama deshita! 868 00:33:14,409 --> 00:33:16,077 CHEFS: Arigatou gozaimashita! 869 00:33:18,121 --> 00:33:20,498 -Thank you for coming, Mr. David. -Oh, yeah. Sure. 870 00:33:20,581 --> 00:33:23,793 Oh, my God! Look! Look at this! Look what's going on here! 871 00:33:23,876 --> 00:33:25,878 -(RAIN POURS) -LARRY: Look! Look at this! 872 00:33:30,174 --> 00:33:32,301 (SHOUTS) Hey! That's my umbrella! 873 00:33:32,885 --> 00:33:33,803 No. 874 00:33:33,886 --> 00:33:38,391 It's Dallas Omni Hotel umbrella. (LAUGHS) 875 00:33:38,474 --> 00:33:40,893 ♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM" THEME MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 876 00:33:40,977 --> 00:33:44,188 (THUNDER RUMBLES)