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♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM"
THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
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Thank you guys.
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I don't know what happened
over at Netflix,
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but big mitzvah that you
brought it over here to Hulu.
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-We're so happy to be here.
-JEFF GREENE: So happy.
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So, let's, uh,
let's talk tachles.
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-What is that?
-Tachles, real talk. (SNAPS)
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-Let's get to it.
-(EXECS CHUCKLE)
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Young Larry. The rewrite,
liked it, didn't love it.
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Oh, so you didn't like it?
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-No, no.
-No, no.
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That's not what we're saying.
I liked it. They liked it.
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-EXEC 1: Mm-hmm.
-They liked it?
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Or they liked it?
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-All three of them.
-I'm not nonbinary.
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I'm only a they when
I'm with a group of people.
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Are you plural?
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-No, I'm gay.
-(LAUGHTER)
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And there you have it.
So, casting?
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-Yeah.
-I was thinking, for the role
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of Uncle Moe, Ted Danson.
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-Y-- you can't get away from it.
-JEFF: No, he's everywhere.
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LARRY: I can't get away
from him!
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Am I right? I mean, anything
he touches turns to comedy gold.
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I don't know.
He's not really the right type.
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We like Ted. But what do I know?
I'm just a Jew from the Valley.
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(LAUGHTER)
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You know, it's somebody
we could consider for sure.
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-I'll tell you what, though.
-JAKE: Okay.
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I've got somebody
for Marsha Lifshitz
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who's a discovery.
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-Oh. Wow. Okay.
-(EXCITED LAUGHTER)
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And her name
is Maria Sofia Estrada,
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-and she's fantastic.
-Great.
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I was just wondering,
uh, is she Jewish?
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Oh, you can't ask that.
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-Uh-- Oh, okay. Um...
-JAKE: No, it's okay in
this office. You can ask that.
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Why can't she ask that?
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I think it's illegal.
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Get the fuck out of here!
"Illegal"!
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Well, well, listen,
if you like her, we like her.
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Just-- can we see some tape?
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-See what?
-JAKE: Tape.
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That's the process,
it's that, you know,
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we'd like to give it the old...
(CLICKS TONGUE)
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...network stamp.
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-Yeah. Tape.
-JEFF: Well...
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-It's a visual medium,
this TV thing.
-EXEC 1: Yeah.
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Uh, that's great,
we'll get 'em tape.
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We'll get 'em tape.
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Yeah, we're gonna--
we'll get you some tape.
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-JEFF: We'll get some tape.
-JAKE: Terrific. We can't wait.
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-Thank you.
-JAKE: Great meeting.
Really good.
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And on behalf of everybody,
welcome to Hulu.
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-JEFF: Thank you very much.
-LARRY: Okay.
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Or as we call it
in this office, Jew-lu.
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(LAUGHTER)
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-Because it's my office.
-Yeah, only you do that, yeah.
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-LARRY: All right.
-Hey, Larry,
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come for Shabbos dinner
one of these weekends.
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We had Bari Weiss last
Friday night. She's fantastic.
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(DOOR SLAMS)
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-Hmm.
-Ow.
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-Did that guy ever do stand-up?
-Not to my knowledge,
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and if he did,
he couldn't have been good.
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God, he really leans
into that Jew stuff,
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-doesn't he?
-Boy, oh, boy.
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Just like a bad comic.
Every other word is
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-Jew this, Jew that.
-JEFF: Jew this, Jew that.
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-Yeah, I know.
-Oh, my God.
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-(PHONE DINGS)
-Terrible.
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Did you slam the door
on your, uh, way out?
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-No.
-I just got a text
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from them upstairs saying,
"Is Larry mad?
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He slammed the door
when he left."
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No, I'm not mad. You know,
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it's hard to gauge a door
you're unfamiliar with.
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(CHUCKLES) In the future,
I promise I'll try and be
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a little more considerate
with my door closing.
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Um, what the hell
we gonna do about this tape?
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I mean, she's just...
She stinks to high heaven.
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What about an acting coach?
Acting class?
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Cheryl teaches acting now.
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-You're kidding me?
-No. Great idea,
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-let's ask Cheryl.
-Let's ask Cheryl.
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-She'll keep it on the q.t.
-LARRY: Yeah. Absolutely.
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(DOOR OPENS)
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-LARRY: Hello!
-CHERYL DAVID: Ha.
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What are you doing here?
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Uh, I have a little, uh, thing
I need to discuss with you.
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-Why didn't you text me?
-I could've.
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But then, you know,
I would've missed that--
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that look of disappointment
wash over your face
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when you opened the door,
and that was priceless.
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-Do you wanna come in?
-LARRY: Sure.
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All right. Please.
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LARRY: What's that?
Hot dog eating contest?
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This Friday? So disgusting.
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CHERYL: That's so gross.
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You know,
women do these now too.
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-Hmm!
-LARRY: That would be fun,
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to date a woman hot dog eater.
Take her out to dinner.
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"I'll have a salmon.
She'll have 32 hot dogs!" Yeah.
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Um, why are you here?
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Well, you know that,
uh, pilot I'm doing?
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Yeah.
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-There's an actress in the show.
-Okay.
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Oh, God, how do I even say this?
Well, she stinks.
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-But you cast her?
-Yeah. Yeah.
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Well, why would you cast her
if she's not good?
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I can't get into all this now.
Suffice it to say,
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she has to be in the show,
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and she has to be
better than she is.
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-Okay.
-And we need to have a good tape
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-for her, to show Hulu.
-All right, easy.
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No. It's not gonna be easy.
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I mean,
we can set up the camera and--
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-and make a nice tape for Hulu.
-Great.
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-And they'll be thrilled.
-Yeah.
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-Yeah, well...
-You know, we'll just, like,
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work on the dialogue
a little bit, and we'll do some
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serious character study.
Maybe do some vocal exercises
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-that can help.
-Okay, please,
spare me the bullshit.
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Just... Thank you, thank you.
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It's not bullshit. It's actually
technique that people--
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(DOOR SLAMS)
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(SCOFFS) You're welcome.
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SUSIE GREENE: Andy, Cassie,
come on, make yourself at home.
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Come get a drink.
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So you guys
are getting the emails
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from my office every month?
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-I don't read 'em, no.
-JEFF: I don't read 'em either.
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You're my business manager.
I pay you to take care of that.
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-Okay, fine. Just wanna know
the email's going through.
-Jeff?
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Can you help me
in the kitchen please?
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-(SIGHS)
-HARRY: Mm-hmm.
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Listen, I need some advice
from you.
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I met this girl a few nights ago
at a bar.
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-She was so gorgeous, like...
-Wow.
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-...way outside my coverage.
-Nice, Harry, beautiful.
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She just gave me her number,
so then I gave her my number.
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-Look at you!
-But then, when I'm going home,
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I just texted her,
"Hey, that was really cool.
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Do you wanna maybe go get
a drink Thursday night?"
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And she immediately replied,
"Oh, yes."
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Just... (SNAPS)
...bam, right there.
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Then I got greedy
and I texted back,
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"How about some food to go
with those drinks?"
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Oh, no.
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She hasn't texted me back
in two days.
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-Oh, God. You pushed the dinner.
-So, I-- I blew it, right?
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I scared the rabbit away
and ran at it.
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The desperation came through.
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-HARRY: It came through.
-You couldn't contain it.
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I don't know what to do.
What can--
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-Oh, boy. Harry.
-Do you have any ideas?
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Well, you gotta send her
something funny.
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-It's got to be funny.
-Something funny, okay.
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Yeah, it's got to be
a funny text.
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-I think I might have something.
-What?
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Say, "Actually..."
(CLEARS THROAT)
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"I can't have dinner
on Thursday."
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Okay.
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"Because I'm in a hot dog
eating contest the next day,
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and I don't wanna ruin
my appetite."
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-It's funny.
-I'm gonna fucking send it.
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You're saying,
"Hey, I fucked up." Okay?
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-I fucked up 'cause of the--
-Yeah.
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-Wait, wait, wait.
-"I fucked up, but here's--
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Hey, but look, I'm a funny guy.
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-I fucked up,
but I'm a funny guy."
-(DOORBELL RINGS)
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Let's see what happens.
God damn, yes.
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Yeah, you like it?
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Hey, nice to see you.
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-Mwah.
-Thanks for having me.
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-How's the mattress world?
-Still the mattress champ.
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Just opened a new outlet
in Victorville.
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That's fantastic.
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I'm putting super homies
in mattresses. I'm killing it.
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-Wow.
-Honestly.
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But the thing I'm doing now,
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which is a little bit
more creative, is a hotel.
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-What hotel?
-The Funkhouse.
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It's Beverly Hills adjacent,
so it's kind of a boutique.
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It's an interesting space.
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I wanna hear everything.
I got stuff in the oven.
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-Go.
-Go get yourself a drink,
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-and we'll talk later.
-Okay, sounds reasonable.
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Thanks again for having me.
You look terrific.
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I'm putting half of your
portfolio into cryptocurrency.
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-Hey, guys.
-LARRY: Hey.
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I'm kidding,
it's all nerds and Nazis.
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-Hey. Hi.
-Hey, hey! My man, how are you?
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What's this about
a hotel you're...?
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-Yeah.
-You bought a hotel?
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I'm doing the whole thing.
It's exciting, huh?
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-That's amazing,
-It is. It's amazing.
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-Congratulations.
-Thank you, thank you.
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Well, you know, we'll see how
it goes, but I feel very good.
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What-- what are you doing
about the minibar?
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What do you mean,
what am I gonna do
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00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:30,125
about the minibar?
I don't know, it's a minibar.
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They're kind of fascinating
to me, the minibars.
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You know, you go into the room,
you're kind of excited about,
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"Oh, what do they have?"
Then you see some items,
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"I don't know why they got
that one.
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What were they thinking about
with this thing?" You know.
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-Can I ask you something?
-Sure?
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-Suppose I, Larry David...
-Yeah.
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...went shopping
for your minibar
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and picked out your minibar.
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You know, this is a business,
it's not a hobby.
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I'm really gonna open a hotel.
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-No, I completely understand.
-I need people to--
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Why is somebody better at that
than I am?
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I know potato chips.
I know M&M's.
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They told me not to open up
a mattress shop in Temecula.
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They said it's all credit card
junkies and Supercross.
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00:08:05,916 --> 00:08:07,833
I did it, and guess what?
I'm slaughtering it.
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If you think you can do it,
I think you can do it.
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I'll go shopping, and then
I'll show you what I got.
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Yeah. The answer for you is yes.
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(DOORBELL RINGS)
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-LARRY: Wow.
-I wanna hear it.
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-Hi.
-JEFF: Hi.
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-Come on in.
-Thank you.
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I can't wait to see
what you come up with.
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I gotta get to work.
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FREDDY FUNKHOUSER:
And don't overthink it.
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00:08:23,375 --> 00:08:25,208
-CHERYL: Larry?
-LARRY: Oh, hey.
231
00:08:25,291 --> 00:08:26,416
Are you mad at me?
232
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:28,083
No. Why would I be mad at you?
233
00:08:28,166 --> 00:08:29,708
I don't know,
because I'm doing you a favor
234
00:08:29,791 --> 00:08:32,041
-and you slammed the door on me.
-Really?
235
00:08:32,125 --> 00:08:34,833
You don't hear that
as a slamming of the door?
236
00:08:34,916 --> 00:08:37,083
I didn't hear a door slam,
I'm sorry.
237
00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:39,041
Okay, well,
then you must be door deaf.
238
00:08:39,125 --> 00:08:40,916
Hmm. It's interesting
that you would say that,
239
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,625
because I've always thought
my hearing was a cut above
240
00:08:42,708 --> 00:08:44,041
-the average person.
-Is that right?
241
00:08:44,125 --> 00:08:47,041
Especially disparaging remarks
directed at me.
242
00:08:47,125 --> 00:08:48,750
-Uh-huh.
-"You fucking asshole."
243
00:08:48,833 --> 00:08:50,541
I can hear that, like,
from 50 yards away.
244
00:08:50,625 --> 00:08:52,375
(WHISPERING) "What a fucking--
I hate that fucking guy."
245
00:08:52,458 --> 00:08:53,791
-You know, stuff like that.
-You can hear that?
246
00:08:53,875 --> 00:08:55,583
-Yeah.
-Hey, everybody, supper's ready.
247
00:08:55,666 --> 00:08:57,208
-(ROOM MURMURS)
-Let's go, let's eat.
248
00:08:57,291 --> 00:08:59,875
-LARRY: Come on, cousin!
-All right, I'm up, I'm up.
249
00:08:59,958 --> 00:09:03,416
Sit wherever you want.
Jeff, I want you there.
250
00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:04,833
-All right.
-SUSIE: Freddy, perfect.
251
00:09:04,916 --> 00:09:06,208
-Thank you.
-Want me to-- Oh.
252
00:09:06,291 --> 00:09:07,791
-Cass, you sit there.
-CASSIE: Here?
253
00:09:07,875 --> 00:09:09,791
All right. Guess I'll sit here.
254
00:09:09,875 --> 00:09:12,250
Look at this!
Look at your leopard... (LAUGHS)
255
00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:14,125
So listen, I'm so happy
to have you all here.
256
00:09:14,208 --> 00:09:16,125
-I wanna do a toast.
-ALL: Oh.
257
00:09:16,208 --> 00:09:17,791
SUSIE: I just wanna say
thank you all for coming.
258
00:09:17,875 --> 00:09:20,000
-FREDDY: Thanks for having us!
-SUSIE: And I wanna make a toast
259
00:09:20,083 --> 00:09:21,791
-to friendship.
-CHERYL: Susie!
260
00:09:21,875 --> 00:09:23,125
-FREDDY: That's beautiful.
-CASSIE: Cheers!
261
00:09:23,208 --> 00:09:24,791
-SUSIE: Yes, to friendship.
-FREDDY: To friendship,
262
00:09:24,875 --> 00:09:26,583
and to be with everyone.
Eyes, please!
263
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:29,208
-Cassie, Harry!
-Cheers.
264
00:09:29,291 --> 00:09:31,833
ALL: Cheers.
265
00:09:31,916 --> 00:09:35,083
Larry? You can't look me
in the eye and toast?
266
00:09:35,166 --> 00:09:36,708
-Look you in the eye?
-SUSIE: Yeah.
267
00:09:36,791 --> 00:09:37,708
Towards what end?
268
00:09:37,791 --> 00:09:39,125
Because that's what people do.
269
00:09:39,208 --> 00:09:40,791
-LARRY: Get out of here.
-They look each other
in the eye.
270
00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:42,166
What is this? A seance?
271
00:09:42,250 --> 00:09:43,458
We're raising
people from the dead?
272
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:44,708
Come on, give me a break.
273
00:09:44,791 --> 00:09:46,500
No, we're connecting
and having some intimacy.
274
00:09:46,583 --> 00:09:49,041
I-- I don't need to connect,
okay? I'm connected.
275
00:09:49,125 --> 00:09:50,833
-What are you afraid of?
-What does it do?
276
00:09:50,916 --> 00:09:53,166
-You're saying,
"Hello. I see you."
-You're saying "I see you."
277
00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:54,666
SUSIE: I acknowledge you.
278
00:09:54,750 --> 00:09:57,458
-I connect with you. Right? To--
-CHERYL: I connect with you.
279
00:09:57,541 --> 00:10:00,625
BOTH: Hello! I see you!
280
00:10:00,708 --> 00:10:02,375
I acknowledge you!
281
00:10:02,458 --> 00:10:04,208
I connect with you.
282
00:10:04,291 --> 00:10:07,000
SUSIE: Okay, very funny.
You made your point.
283
00:10:07,083 --> 00:10:08,833
-I think you're rude.
-You see how stupid it is?
284
00:10:08,916 --> 00:10:11,250
-SUSIE: Yeah.
I think you're rude.
-It is dumb, come on.
285
00:10:11,333 --> 00:10:14,291
Ooh, so I'm in a bookstore
the other day,
286
00:10:14,375 --> 00:10:15,625
-okay?
-CHERYL: Yeah.
287
00:10:15,708 --> 00:10:18,291
And I'm looking for a book
about Eleanor Roosevelt, okay?
288
00:10:18,375 --> 00:10:20,500
And I'm looking,
and I'm looking under R.
289
00:10:20,583 --> 00:10:23,208
Nothing. I go to the Es.
290
00:10:23,291 --> 00:10:26,500
A book on Eleanor Roosevelt.
It was crazy, it was nuts.
291
00:10:26,583 --> 00:10:28,166
Can you imagine?
292
00:10:29,125 --> 00:10:30,875
You know
what could have happened?
293
00:10:30,958 --> 00:10:32,000
I'm not saying it's definite,
294
00:10:32,083 --> 00:10:34,708
but maybe somebody new
was working,
295
00:10:34,791 --> 00:10:37,916
maybe somebody younger,
and they just didn't know?
296
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,750
You know, that's true.
I saw people there.
297
00:10:40,833 --> 00:10:42,583
Some in their 20s.
298
00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:44,958
Thirties too, couple.
299
00:10:45,041 --> 00:10:46,083
Okay, maybe it's forgivable.
300
00:10:46,166 --> 00:10:48,791
The important thing is
you found it.
301
00:10:48,875 --> 00:10:49,916
ANDY: I did.
302
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,208
And now you're reading it,
and that's great.
303
00:10:52,291 --> 00:10:54,666
ANDY: They don't know the
Dewey Decimal System anymore.
304
00:10:54,750 --> 00:10:57,875
They're not going to libraries.
They're going on their computer.
305
00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,375
I decided to go to a bookstore,
and not go online.
306
00:11:00,458 --> 00:11:02,583
-CASSIE: Have you seen this?
-We could get reclaimed wood.
307
00:11:02,666 --> 00:11:04,500
That'll work.
From, like, a gym.
308
00:11:04,583 --> 00:11:06,333
If you're doing a big room,
sometimes they don't have
309
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:08,541
enough of the same stuff
that matches.
310
00:11:08,625 --> 00:11:10,000
ANDY: If you go to
the right supplier, you do.
311
00:11:10,083 --> 00:11:11,583
But I'll tell you
what I was thinking too.
312
00:11:11,666 --> 00:11:14,375
There's a thing, there's resin.
Okay? It's two polymers.
313
00:11:14,458 --> 00:11:15,583
CASSIE: Is it resin or rah-sin?
314
00:11:15,666 --> 00:11:16,833
ANDY: No, it's resin, R-E-S-I-N.
315
00:11:16,916 --> 00:11:18,750
CASSIE: Okay.
What does it look like?
316
00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:20,833
ANDY: I guess,
it's whatever you want it to.
317
00:11:20,916 --> 00:11:23,875
Cheryl, have you had to put any
new wood or flooring
318
00:11:23,958 --> 00:11:25,375
in your house at all?
319
00:11:26,875 --> 00:11:28,250
No.
320
00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:30,000
CASSIE: That's another thing
we haven't decided.
321
00:11:30,083 --> 00:11:31,541
Dark wood? Light wood?
322
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:33,000
M-- maybe you could stain
the mahogany.
323
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:34,958
-But that would be silly.
-So, you know what, Larry,
324
00:11:35,041 --> 00:11:37,333
will you meet me in the kitchen
for a second? I need your help
325
00:11:37,416 --> 00:11:38,500
-with something.
-Sure. Of course.
326
00:11:38,583 --> 00:11:40,208
CASSIE: I like the tiles
that look like wood.
327
00:11:40,291 --> 00:11:43,083
ANDY:
If you get heavy, heavy wood...
328
00:11:43,166 --> 00:11:44,500
It's a fucking nightmare.
329
00:11:44,583 --> 00:11:46,833
-Yeah, it's a disaster.
-It's a disaster.
330
00:11:46,916 --> 00:11:48,458
It's a complete disas--
My dinner party, done.
331
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,708
You know why? Yeah.
Because Andy and Cassie
332
00:11:50,791 --> 00:11:51,875
are in the middle.
333
00:11:51,958 --> 00:11:53,625
-That's what it is.
-And they can't middle.
334
00:11:53,708 --> 00:11:55,541
You have to be able to carry
the conversation.
335
00:11:55,625 --> 00:11:57,291
-Yes.
-You have to be interesting.
336
00:11:57,375 --> 00:12:00,416
You're the point guard there.
You're distributing the ball.
337
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:02,291
-They can't fucking middle.
-They can't middle.
338
00:12:02,375 --> 00:12:04,500
-Look at-- look at that.
-CASSIE: ...whole family
loves fishing now.
339
00:12:04,583 --> 00:12:06,000
Andy loves it, I love it,
Skylar loves it.
340
00:12:06,083 --> 00:12:07,125
I can't believe it.
341
00:12:07,208 --> 00:12:09,416
-Do you like fishing, Cheryl?
-CHERYL: No.
342
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:11,166
-Oh, my G-- Fishing?
-Yeah.
343
00:12:11,250 --> 00:12:13,250
What, can we save this?
344
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:16,208
-I'll take care of it.
-SUSIE: Thank you, Larry.
345
00:12:16,291 --> 00:12:19,083
-It's the bucket of bait, okay,
which is called chum.
-Right.
346
00:12:19,166 --> 00:12:20,583
They call it chum,
I don't know why.
347
00:12:20,666 --> 00:12:24,875
And she takes it,
and she puts it onto the hook.
348
00:12:24,958 --> 00:12:27,500
-She knew what she was doing.
She was born to it.
-(SIGHS) Okay, okay.
349
00:12:27,583 --> 00:12:29,500
-She's great.
-All right. Okay. I'm sorry.
350
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,666
This dinner's not going
very well.
351
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:34,500
-Oh!
-LARRY: And the reason
it's not going well
352
00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:37,375
is because the wrong people
are in the middle.
353
00:12:37,458 --> 00:12:39,083
(SCOFFS) What?
354
00:12:39,166 --> 00:12:40,666
Yeah. You can't handle
the middle.
355
00:12:40,750 --> 00:12:42,708
-You're not a middler.
-Andy, not everybody
356
00:12:42,791 --> 00:12:44,750
has the personality
for the middle.
357
00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:47,000
It's very presumptuous of you
to even be sitting here.
358
00:12:47,083 --> 00:12:49,125
Freddy happens to be
a great middle, I know that.
359
00:12:49,208 --> 00:12:50,500
I'd like Freddy
and Cassie to switch,
360
00:12:50,583 --> 00:12:52,000
and I'd like Andy
and Larry to switch.
361
00:12:52,083 --> 00:12:55,041
It's your house. I have told
these stories before
362
00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:56,458
and got laughs!
363
00:12:56,541 --> 00:12:58,041
-SUSIE: Separated.
Thank you, Cheryl.
-CHERYL: You're welcome.
364
00:12:58,125 --> 00:13:00,125
Anyway, let me just finish
the story.
365
00:13:00,208 --> 00:13:01,625
-ALL: No!
-No more boat.
366
00:13:01,708 --> 00:13:03,208
-SUSIE: We're done.
-I'll tell you later.
Okay. I'll finish.
367
00:13:03,291 --> 00:13:04,500
-All right.
-Okay.
368
00:13:05,541 --> 00:13:07,791
This is how you middle. Okay?
369
00:13:07,875 --> 00:13:09,583
Guess who I ran into today.
370
00:13:09,666 --> 00:13:11,791
-ALL: Who?
-Callie Lang!
371
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:14,250
-JEFF: No way!
-Get outta here!
372
00:13:14,333 --> 00:13:15,416
Callie Lang?
373
00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:17,000
I thought she was dead!
374
00:13:17,083 --> 00:13:18,625
-Stage four, man!
-LARRY: No, no.
375
00:13:18,708 --> 00:13:20,166
She survived her cancer.
376
00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:21,666
-She's o-- okay.
-SUSIE: Wow.
377
00:13:21,750 --> 00:13:23,666
She's living in Bend, Oregon.
378
00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:25,291
-Really?
-Bend, Oregon?
379
00:13:25,375 --> 00:13:27,166
I got to tell you,
some of the best advice
380
00:13:27,250 --> 00:13:29,500
I ever got in my life
was from Callie Lang.
381
00:13:29,583 --> 00:13:30,875
When I was starting
the business,
382
00:13:30,958 --> 00:13:33,375
you may forget this, but I was
deciding, "Do I go chairs
383
00:13:33,458 --> 00:13:34,625
or do I go mattresses?"
384
00:13:34,708 --> 00:13:37,791
And she said, "Freddy,
not everybody wants to sit..."
385
00:13:37,875 --> 00:13:39,750
-"...But everybody's
got to sleep."
-FREDDY: That's right!
386
00:13:39,833 --> 00:13:41,083
-Ha!
-And I never looked back!
387
00:13:41,166 --> 00:13:44,250
I think I listened to it
because she was stage four.
388
00:13:44,333 --> 00:13:45,750
-(ALL AGREEING)
-It had, like, an impact to it.
389
00:13:45,833 --> 00:13:48,541
I know. I had the same
sort of experience with her
390
00:13:48,625 --> 00:13:51,791
because she was stage four,
we were having a long talk,
391
00:13:51,875 --> 00:13:53,416
and she gave me
some very good advice
392
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,166
and she said,
"Don't ever sign a prenup."
393
00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:57,833
-ALL: Whoa!
-CHERYL: And I didn't!
394
00:13:57,916 --> 00:13:59,291
And it was very good advice.
395
00:13:59,375 --> 00:14:00,666
That worked out very well
for you, Cheryl.
396
00:14:00,750 --> 00:14:02,125
CHERYL: It did.
It was very good advice.
397
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,625
-She was smart about that.
-HARRY: She was a sage.
398
00:14:03,708 --> 00:14:06,416
She gave me some advice when
she was stage four, and she--
399
00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:08,958
She's the one who told you
not to sign a prenup?
400
00:14:09,041 --> 00:14:12,000
Yes, she had some
sort of perspective
401
00:14:12,083 --> 00:14:14,416
-that other people don't have.
-FREDDY: It's good advice.
402
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:16,583
SUSIE: You know what she did
for us, Jeff, do you remember?
403
00:14:16,666 --> 00:14:18,583
We were going through that
really rough patch
404
00:14:18,666 --> 00:14:20,125
-and we were gonna split.
-JEFF: Mm.
405
00:14:20,208 --> 00:14:22,041
And she said,
"Work it out, you guys
406
00:14:22,125 --> 00:14:23,666
-are meant for each other."
-ALL: Aww.
407
00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:26,458
"You're gonna have a long,
wonderful life and a marriage.
408
00:14:26,541 --> 00:14:28,625
Cheers to that.
This is a great conversation.
409
00:14:28,708 --> 00:14:30,583
-Cheers to that.
-ANDY: Bravo. Bravo.
410
00:14:30,666 --> 00:14:32,916
-HARRY: To you and to you guys.
-ANDY: I'm happy for you.
411
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,291
Let me ask you this question,
what about stage three advice?
412
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,458
-What do you do?
-And death is not looming?
413
00:14:37,541 --> 00:14:39,666
-What percentage?
-Twenty percent.
414
00:14:39,750 --> 00:14:41,333
LARRY: Twenty percent,
you listen twenty percent.
415
00:14:41,416 --> 00:14:43,125
-What about you?
-Sixty-forty.
416
00:14:43,208 --> 00:14:44,541
Sixty-forty. Freddy?
417
00:14:44,625 --> 00:14:47,166
That's a true coin flip for me.
I could go either way with that.
418
00:14:47,250 --> 00:14:48,166
LARRY: Harry?
419
00:14:48,250 --> 00:14:50,416
Well, I listen,
but grain of salt.
420
00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:52,458
-LARRY: Grain of salt.
-You couldn't pay me
421
00:14:52,541 --> 00:14:54,958
to listen to advice
from a stage three.
422
00:14:55,041 --> 00:14:57,083
-Stage four only!
-SUSIE: Wow!
423
00:14:57,166 --> 00:14:59,208
Stage three doesn't get his ear!
I don't believe that.
424
00:14:59,291 --> 00:15:01,625
-(ALL CLAMORING)
-(SCOFFS) Stage four!
425
00:15:01,708 --> 00:15:03,416
(OVERLAPPING CLAMOR)
426
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:04,541
You're good.
427
00:15:05,625 --> 00:15:06,791
You're very good.
428
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:17,791
What is this?
429
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:20,000
Remember that woman
that I was texting with?
430
00:15:20,083 --> 00:15:21,166
You said I should tell her
431
00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:23,000
that I'm doing
a hot dog eating contest?
432
00:15:23,083 --> 00:15:24,958
Yeah. What-- what happened?
433
00:15:25,041 --> 00:15:27,625
-She believed me.
-Oh, my God. You're kidding?
434
00:15:27,708 --> 00:15:29,958
-No, I'm not.
-How could she believe that?
435
00:15:30,041 --> 00:15:31,500
It's a joke. It's a joke.
436
00:15:31,583 --> 00:15:33,041
But you know
what happened was,
437
00:15:33,125 --> 00:15:36,000
you gave me a lie
so fucking crazy
438
00:15:36,083 --> 00:15:38,541
that she's like,
"Why would he lie about this?
439
00:15:38,625 --> 00:15:39,916
This has to be true."
440
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,625
-Huh!
-Who's the guy that said, uh,
441
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:44,625
the bigger the lie,
the more they believe it?
442
00:15:44,708 --> 00:15:46,458
-Oh, Goebbels.
-Goebbels.
443
00:15:46,541 --> 00:15:48,875
Yeah, you gave me
a Goebbels-level lie.
444
00:15:48,958 --> 00:15:51,291
-Seriously?
-Yeah. Well, I don't-- Yeah!
445
00:15:51,375 --> 00:15:54,500
Are you saying I achieved
Goebbels lying status?
446
00:15:54,583 --> 00:15:57,083
-Yeah, yeah, you're--
-Because Goebbels is the GOAT.
447
00:15:57,166 --> 00:15:59,541
And you know what happens when
you use a lie from the GOAT?
448
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:02,750
Not only did she believe it,
but she's impressed.
449
00:16:02,833 --> 00:16:04,125
She's, like,
obsessed with it now.
450
00:16:04,208 --> 00:16:07,166
She texts me all day,
"When did you get into hot dogs?
451
00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:10,208
-Do you like pork or beef or--"
-Wow.
452
00:16:10,291 --> 00:16:12,250
I'm so paranoid she's gonna
come over to my place.
453
00:16:12,333 --> 00:16:14,666
I had to go to Eagle Rock
to a little trophy store
454
00:16:14,750 --> 00:16:17,875
and have a trophy made up
for a hot dog eating contest
455
00:16:17,958 --> 00:16:20,208
that I won in 1998
that I was never in.
456
00:16:20,291 --> 00:16:22,166
What are you gonna do about
the hot dog eating contest?
457
00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:25,000
-You're gonna be in the contest?
-Fuck no! I'm gonna--
458
00:16:25,083 --> 00:16:27,208
I'm gonna keep this going
as long as I can.
459
00:16:27,291 --> 00:16:28,791
Hopefully, we can hook up,
460
00:16:28,875 --> 00:16:31,750
and then I can have my doctor
text me or call me and say,
461
00:16:31,833 --> 00:16:33,500
"Oh, you know what,
because of your health,
462
00:16:33,583 --> 00:16:35,791
I'm gonna have to recommend
that you drop out,"
463
00:16:35,875 --> 00:16:38,291
I got to have-- Fuck!
I got to make up a doctor now!
464
00:16:38,375 --> 00:16:39,500
-By the way.
-What?
465
00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:42,708
I wouldn't be so fast to drop
the hot dog eating.
466
00:16:42,791 --> 00:16:44,791
Clearly, this is... (CHUCKLES)
467
00:16:44,875 --> 00:16:47,291
This is the best thing
you've got going for you.
468
00:16:47,375 --> 00:16:51,083
Well, um, here's your taxes.
Enjoy your refund, Goebbels.
469
00:16:51,166 --> 00:16:53,916
Sorry, Harry.
I did the best I could.
470
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,750
Yeah, well, you did too good!
471
00:16:57,791 --> 00:16:59,083
LARRY: Hey, hey, hey!
472
00:16:59,166 --> 00:17:00,250
Hey, hey, hey.
473
00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:01,875
(LAUGHS) My man.
474
00:17:01,958 --> 00:17:04,875
Hey, what's happening
in Mary Ferguson town?
475
00:17:04,958 --> 00:17:07,708
I'm having a hard time finding
a new Mary Ferguson.
476
00:17:07,791 --> 00:17:09,250
I'm surprised you found two.
477
00:17:09,333 --> 00:17:11,625
Let me show you my ad
for the brand-new one.
478
00:17:11,708 --> 00:17:12,958
Look at this shit.
479
00:17:13,041 --> 00:17:14,500
"Do you love adventure?
480
00:17:14,583 --> 00:17:16,708
Do you wanna travel to Asia
for free?
481
00:17:16,791 --> 00:17:18,250
Is your name Mary Ferguson?
482
00:17:18,333 --> 00:17:21,208
If the answer to all three
of these questions is yes,
483
00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,333
then contact Leon Black."
484
00:17:23,416 --> 00:17:25,625
Perfect. I'm thinking
about adding,
485
00:17:25,708 --> 00:17:27,250
"I ain't about that bullshit."
486
00:17:27,333 --> 00:17:29,666
(LAUGHS) Yeah, put it in,
487
00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:32,583
because that will be
a big sell. (LAUGHS)
488
00:17:32,666 --> 00:17:33,708
That'll sell 'em for sure!
489
00:17:33,791 --> 00:17:35,458
I'm posting this shit
everywhere.
490
00:17:35,541 --> 00:17:37,916
I'm putting this shit on, like,
you know how a motherfucker
lose their dog?
491
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,625
I'm putting this shit on
fucking telephone poles
492
00:17:40,708 --> 00:17:42,458
-and trees and shit.
-Who's looking at trees?
493
00:17:42,541 --> 00:17:45,041
Nobody's walking down the street
looking at trees.
494
00:17:45,125 --> 00:17:46,333
The nicest people in the world
495
00:17:46,416 --> 00:17:50,000
are people who will return
a fucking dog to you.
496
00:17:50,083 --> 00:17:52,583
Who's not gonna return a dog?
What kind of asshole?
497
00:17:52,666 --> 00:17:54,875
I kept a dog for six years
one time, I found.
498
00:17:54,958 --> 00:17:57,291
What? Did it have a collar?
Was there a number to call?
499
00:17:57,375 --> 00:17:58,833
LEON: Fuck yeah,
it had all the goodies.
500
00:17:58,916 --> 00:18:00,083
So, why didn't you call?
501
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:02,708
Because I fucking liked the dog.
I fucking liked the dog.
502
00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:04,125
You know how many times
I walked by
503
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:06,875
the sign on the fucking tree
that said "lost dog,"
504
00:18:06,958 --> 00:18:09,166
and it was
this motherfucker right here?
505
00:18:09,250 --> 00:18:11,333
-That's cruel!
-I loved that motherfucking dog.
506
00:18:11,416 --> 00:18:13,125
By the way, Larry,
I've got an idea.
507
00:18:13,208 --> 00:18:14,875
It might be perfect
for your fucking minibar.
508
00:18:14,958 --> 00:18:15,958
Really?
509
00:18:16,041 --> 00:18:17,791
People go to hotels to fuck,
you understand?
510
00:18:17,875 --> 00:18:18,916
Yeah, I understand,
511
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,291
but that's not necessarily true,
but go ahead.
512
00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:24,166
So, I take all the elements
of an ED pill
513
00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:27,583
and I infuse it into a beverage.
514
00:18:27,666 --> 00:18:29,166
I call it tap water.
515
00:18:29,250 --> 00:18:31,041
-Tap water.
-Based on tapping that ass.
516
00:18:31,125 --> 00:18:32,375
I understand what
it's based on, yeah.
517
00:18:32,458 --> 00:18:34,041
That's what people go
to hotels to do.
518
00:18:34,125 --> 00:18:36,333
It's like an energy drink
for your dick.
519
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:38,291
I really think
you're onto something there.
520
00:18:38,375 --> 00:18:39,583
-(DOORBELL RINGS)
-Good idea. Right?
521
00:18:39,666 --> 00:18:41,875
-One of your best.
-Hey, man, you're missing out.
522
00:18:41,958 --> 00:18:44,666
People love to stay hydrated
and fuck.
523
00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:49,416
-There he is.
-(LAUGHS) Oh, geez.
524
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:50,916
-ANDY: How are ya?
-What is this?
525
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,250
We were just taking a walk
and strolling.
526
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:54,541
-It's a beautiful day.
-Yup.
527
00:18:54,625 --> 00:18:56,041
I thought we'd stop by,
say hello.
528
00:18:56,125 --> 00:18:57,458
And if you wanna join us, come.
529
00:18:57,541 --> 00:18:59,250
-Meh.
-CASSIE: Come on!
530
00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:00,708
I don't really like
a purposeless walk,
531
00:19:00,791 --> 00:19:01,791
but thank you.
532
00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:03,500
What does that mean,
"A purposeless walk"?
533
00:19:03,583 --> 00:19:04,958
The walk is the purpose.
534
00:19:05,041 --> 00:19:07,000
The walk has to be
the secondary activity.
535
00:19:07,083 --> 00:19:09,416
-It can't be a primary activity.
-Mm.
536
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:11,208
For example, you walk
on a golf course,
537
00:19:11,291 --> 00:19:12,458
it's a secondary activity.
538
00:19:12,541 --> 00:19:14,250
The primary activity
is the golf.
539
00:19:14,333 --> 00:19:15,458
-Okay.
-All right.
540
00:19:15,541 --> 00:19:16,625
She has something to ask you.
541
00:19:16,708 --> 00:19:18,500
Uh, we're having
a dinner party in two nights,
542
00:19:18,583 --> 00:19:21,625
and we would really like it
if you would middle, please.
543
00:19:21,708 --> 00:19:22,708
Please?
544
00:19:23,291 --> 00:19:24,375
When is it?
545
00:19:24,833 --> 00:19:25,875
Thursday night.
546
00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:28,708
Ah, I...
547
00:19:28,791 --> 00:19:30,208
-ANDY: Why? Come on.
-I can't.
548
00:19:30,291 --> 00:19:32,458
-Come on. Why not?
-Why?
549
00:19:33,666 --> 00:19:35,416
-Because I'm... (CHUCKLES)
-What?
550
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:38,208
I'm in a hot dog eating contest
the next day.
551
00:19:38,291 --> 00:19:39,458
-Oh, Larry, shut up.
-What?
552
00:19:39,541 --> 00:19:40,875
-LARRY: True.
-No, you're not.
553
00:19:40,958 --> 00:19:42,416
Seriously, I'm in a hot dog
eating contest the next day
554
00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:43,791
and I can't eat that night.
555
00:19:45,333 --> 00:19:46,500
-Yeah.
-ANDY: Not at all?
556
00:19:46,583 --> 00:19:48,208
What if you just come
and you just don't eat?
557
00:19:48,291 --> 00:19:51,208
Ah, nah, you can't sit
at a table and not eat.
558
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,166
-You feel crazy. Yeah.
-Hmm.
559
00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:54,208
-LARRY: Yeah.
-That's...
560
00:19:54,291 --> 00:19:56,500
Anyway, I got to go pick
somebody up,
561
00:19:56,583 --> 00:19:58,375
so I got to get going.
562
00:19:58,458 --> 00:19:59,625
ANDY: Okay.
563
00:20:01,708 --> 00:20:03,125
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
564
00:20:03,958 --> 00:20:05,166
-CHERYL: Hi, guys.
-Hi.
565
00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:07,666
-CHERYL: Come in. Come in.
-Maria Sofia, this is Cheryl.
566
00:20:07,750 --> 00:20:09,375
-Hi, Maria Sofia.
-MARIA SOFIA: Hi.
567
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,625
Really nice to meet you.
I've heard a lot about you.
568
00:20:11,708 --> 00:20:13,000
(GASPS) Nice to meet you too!
569
00:20:13,083 --> 00:20:15,291
This house, beautiful.
570
00:20:15,375 --> 00:20:17,958
-Thank you.
-You got your bag
in the divorce.
571
00:20:18,833 --> 00:20:20,291
Okay.
572
00:20:20,375 --> 00:20:22,583
Um, this is my little
makeshift studio.
573
00:20:22,666 --> 00:20:25,541
-You can put your stuff down.
-Thank you.
574
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,166
I'll be there in one second.
575
00:20:29,041 --> 00:20:30,958
-Good luck.
-Thank you.
576
00:20:33,250 --> 00:20:35,250
-(DOOR CLOSES QUIETLY)
-LARRY: Yes!
577
00:20:35,333 --> 00:20:36,750
-CHERYL: Okay, Maria Sofia.
-(SIGHS)
578
00:20:36,833 --> 00:20:38,583
-I'm gonna record this.
-Okay.
579
00:20:38,666 --> 00:20:41,958
And pretend like
this is not even here.
580
00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:43,708
-Okay. Okay.
-Okay?
581
00:20:43,791 --> 00:20:46,458
Marsha, come out here.
I wanna talk to you.
582
00:20:46,541 --> 00:20:48,291
Marsha steps out
into the balcony,
583
00:20:48,375 --> 00:20:50,666
weaving through
the billowing laundry.
584
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:53,333
Um, you-- That--
You don't need to read that.
585
00:20:53,416 --> 00:20:56,291
That is just, uh, action line.
586
00:20:56,375 --> 00:20:58,333
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Sorry. That was weird.
587
00:20:58,416 --> 00:20:59,500
-Let's start from the beginning.
-Okay.
588
00:20:59,583 --> 00:21:02,000
Marsha, come out here,
I wanna talk to you.
589
00:21:02,083 --> 00:21:04,208
-(SCREAMING) I'm right here!
-CHERYL: Stop screaming!
590
00:21:04,291 --> 00:21:06,375
Screaming.
(SCREAMING) I wasn't screaming!
591
00:21:06,458 --> 00:21:09,000
Okay. Also,
if it's in parentheses,
592
00:21:09,083 --> 00:21:10,666
you shouldn't say it either.
593
00:21:10,750 --> 00:21:13,416
-Fine. I got it. I got it.
-CHERYL: Okay.
594
00:21:13,500 --> 00:21:16,000
I wanted to talk to you about
that David boy.
595
00:21:16,833 --> 00:21:17,958
Larry.
596
00:21:18,041 --> 00:21:20,416
CHERYL: Yeah.
That's his name, Larry David.
597
00:21:21,333 --> 00:21:22,708
Well, what about him?
598
00:21:22,791 --> 00:21:25,250
I feel like you're being
seductive right now.
599
00:21:25,333 --> 00:21:26,916
You're talking to your mother.
600
00:21:28,125 --> 00:21:29,333
Are we not close?
601
00:21:29,416 --> 00:21:31,458
In real life, do you ever talk
to your mother like that?
602
00:21:31,541 --> 00:21:35,416
No, I don't seduce my mom.
What is wrong with you? God!
603
00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:38,583
I'm talking to her
about my boyfriend, aren't I?
604
00:21:38,666 --> 00:21:42,375
Uh, I don't really care for him.
I think he's mentally disturbed.
605
00:21:42,458 --> 00:21:45,208
He is not mentally disturbed.
606
00:21:45,291 --> 00:21:46,708
And the worm.
607
00:21:46,791 --> 00:21:48,708
Uh, I--
I saw that choice that you made,
608
00:21:48,791 --> 00:21:50,875
and maybe it's time
to make a new choice.
609
00:21:50,958 --> 00:21:52,791
-Like, what kind of dance?
-No, not a--
610
00:21:52,875 --> 00:21:54,833
-No, I don't find--
You want a little bit of salsa?
611
00:21:54,916 --> 00:21:57,208
Let's just keep going.
Let's just keep...
612
00:21:57,291 --> 00:22:00,500
You want bald children
with no brains, go right ahead.
613
00:22:00,583 --> 00:22:05,375
I don't have to listen to you.
If I wanna see Larry,
614
00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:10,541
oh, I will see...
615
00:22:10,625 --> 00:22:11,750
Larry. (COUGHS)
616
00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:16,291
-Let's just take five.
-(CAMERA BEEPS)
617
00:22:16,375 --> 00:22:20,041
You'd be surprised what
motherfuckers like
in their-- in their minibar.
618
00:22:20,125 --> 00:22:21,583
-LARRY: Black licorice?
-Perfect.
619
00:22:21,666 --> 00:22:25,416
Yeah, I think so.
Okay. We got our first item.
620
00:22:25,500 --> 00:22:28,208
-JEFF: Olives!
-Black or green or both?
621
00:22:28,291 --> 00:22:29,583
Maybe both.
622
00:22:29,666 --> 00:22:32,416
LEON: Fucking mushroom jerky.
They jerked a fucking mushroom.
623
00:22:32,500 --> 00:22:34,125
Oh, figs!
624
00:22:34,208 --> 00:22:35,958
I can't even believe
how good this is.
625
00:22:36,041 --> 00:22:38,041
This is...
Already, we're packed.
626
00:22:38,125 --> 00:22:39,500
JEFF: Oh, fudge!
627
00:22:39,583 --> 00:22:41,291
Wasabi-flavored peas.
628
00:22:41,375 --> 00:22:44,125
Huh? This is the best minibar
of all time.
629
00:22:44,208 --> 00:22:45,250
Yeah.
630
00:22:46,458 --> 00:22:49,166
(PHONE RINGING)
631
00:22:49,250 --> 00:22:50,375
Hello?
632
00:22:50,458 --> 00:22:54,416
Hey. Yeah, I left my jacket
at your ex-wife's house.
633
00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:56,875
Uh, can you call her and just
see if she can look for it?
634
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,791
Um... All right. Hold on.
635
00:22:58,875 --> 00:23:00,208
-MARIA SOFIA: Okay. Thank you.
636
00:23:00,291 --> 00:23:01,625
(PHONE RINGS)
637
00:23:01,708 --> 00:23:03,416
-Hey.
-LARRY: Hey, it's me.
638
00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:06,125
So, um, Maria Sofia called me.
639
00:23:06,208 --> 00:23:08,333
She thinks she left her jacket
at your house.
640
00:23:08,416 --> 00:23:10,125
Yeah, I'm pretty sure
it's not here.
641
00:23:10,208 --> 00:23:11,916
I haven't seen any jacket.
642
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,750
-LARRY: Okay. All right. Thanks.
-Okay.
643
00:23:13,833 --> 00:23:14,833
Okay, bye.
644
00:23:14,916 --> 00:23:17,416
-LARRY: It's not there.
-No, it's there.
645
00:23:17,500 --> 00:23:19,250
She liked the flowers and shit,
so I don't know,
646
00:23:19,333 --> 00:23:22,916
maybe she, you know, she doesn't
wanna actually look for it.
647
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,250
What are you suggesting,
that she's keeping your jacket?
648
00:23:26,333 --> 00:23:27,541
Well, she said she liked it.
649
00:23:27,625 --> 00:23:29,291
Now she's saying
that she can't find it.
650
00:23:29,375 --> 00:23:32,041
-So what am I supposed to think?
-Oh, my God.
651
00:23:32,125 --> 00:23:33,416
Are you out of your mind?
652
00:23:33,500 --> 00:23:36,791
You know what? It's my jacket,
and I'm gonna find it.
653
00:23:36,875 --> 00:23:38,458
All right. Okay.
654
00:23:43,708 --> 00:23:45,916
You know,
I hate to sound immodest,
655
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:49,500
but I don't think you're gonna
find a better minibar display,
656
00:23:49,583 --> 00:23:51,625
not just in the country,
in the world.
657
00:23:51,708 --> 00:23:53,666
This is just amazing stuff here.
658
00:23:53,750 --> 00:23:55,750
(RATTLING)
659
00:23:55,833 --> 00:23:58,791
Do we love the sound of that,
wasabi peas?
660
00:23:58,875 --> 00:24:00,208
People love wasabi peas.
661
00:24:00,291 --> 00:24:01,833
They're gonna slide out
that drawer.
662
00:24:01,916 --> 00:24:03,208
-They're gonna freak out.
-Hmm.
663
00:24:03,291 --> 00:24:06,500
(EXCLAIMS) "They got peas,
wasabi peas!"
664
00:24:06,583 --> 00:24:09,750
What else do we got here?
Oh, my God. What is this?
665
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,958
It's a parmesan crisp.
666
00:24:14,041 --> 00:24:16,416
This is one of the world's
great crackers.
667
00:24:16,500 --> 00:24:17,916
-There's parmesan in this!
-FREDDY: Mm-hmm.
668
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,791
-Parmesan! You like Parmesan?
-Mm...
669
00:24:20,875 --> 00:24:22,750
Freddy, I've seen you
at an Italian restaurant!
670
00:24:22,833 --> 00:24:25,375
-I like parmesan.
-LARRY: Going like this
with the parmesan cheese!
671
00:24:25,458 --> 00:24:27,208
Come on. This, you're not
gonna find anywhere.
672
00:24:27,291 --> 00:24:28,708
-That's true, not in a minibar.
-Mm-hmm, no.
673
00:24:28,791 --> 00:24:30,125
LARRY: You're not gonna find
a parmesan crisp there.
674
00:24:30,208 --> 00:24:31,791
No, you're not gonna
find that in a minibar.
675
00:24:31,875 --> 00:24:33,291
Yeah, okay. Come on.
676
00:24:33,375 --> 00:24:35,291
Figs? You ever seen that
at a minibar?
677
00:24:35,375 --> 00:24:37,958
No. Of course not. Why?
Nobody's thought of it!
678
00:24:38,041 --> 00:24:40,458
I have! I have!
679
00:24:40,541 --> 00:24:41,708
Do you like figs? You like 'em?
680
00:24:41,791 --> 00:24:43,458
I'm not a-- I wouldn't
say I'm a fig guy.
681
00:24:43,541 --> 00:24:45,750
-You like figs?
-Mm, I'm not a big fig fan.
682
00:24:45,833 --> 00:24:47,625
I'm giving you gold here.
683
00:24:47,708 --> 00:24:50,625
Figs! All right.
The coup de grâce.
684
00:24:51,958 --> 00:24:54,583
Peppermint Pattie.
685
00:24:54,666 --> 00:24:55,750
-Classic.
-It's classic.
686
00:24:55,833 --> 00:24:58,291
It's a classic.
You like a Peppermint Pattie?
687
00:24:58,375 --> 00:24:59,583
I can't say I'm a big fan.
688
00:24:59,666 --> 00:25:01,750
I don't really like
Peppermint Patties, actually.
689
00:25:01,833 --> 00:25:03,916
What do you eat?
What is your story?
690
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,250
You don't seem to like anything.
691
00:25:05,333 --> 00:25:06,625
It doesn't matter what I like,
692
00:25:06,708 --> 00:25:08,375
it matters
what our customers like.
693
00:25:08,458 --> 00:25:10,916
All right. So here's
the headline here. Okay?
694
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,916
We're liking this,
but not loving it.
695
00:25:15,333 --> 00:25:16,375
What do you mean? Who?
696
00:25:16,458 --> 00:25:18,375
Well, we had a focus group
in La Cañada,
697
00:25:18,458 --> 00:25:20,250
and we let them enjoy
the experience.
698
00:25:20,333 --> 00:25:21,625
And we got numbers
on all of this stuff,
699
00:25:21,708 --> 00:25:23,500
-which could be helpful.
-Oh, you had a focus group, huh?
700
00:25:23,583 --> 00:25:26,708
So if I talk to you about
men over 25 on, say, the figs.
701
00:25:26,791 --> 00:25:28,083
Uh, about 15 percent.
702
00:25:28,166 --> 00:25:29,958
Only about 15 percent
of the men are liking it.
703
00:25:30,041 --> 00:25:31,708
Now, if you deal with
educated men,
704
00:25:31,791 --> 00:25:33,250
men that have
four years of college?
705
00:25:33,333 --> 00:25:35,208
Um, it's a little higher,
at 20 percent.
706
00:25:35,291 --> 00:25:36,708
But if you go
to the uneducated men,
707
00:25:36,791 --> 00:25:38,083
you know, high school or less?
708
00:25:38,166 --> 00:25:39,583
ASSISTANT: Then it's lower,
about eight percent.
709
00:25:39,666 --> 00:25:41,916
Right. What we wanna try to do
is we want everyone
710
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,625
-at least in the 70s, 80s.
-ASSISTANT: Mm-hmm, exactly.
711
00:25:44,708 --> 00:25:48,166
So the bottom line here is
we need a four-quadrant minibar.
712
00:25:48,250 --> 00:25:51,916
So would you possibly
be open to working
713
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,000
and collaborating with
a co-curator?
714
00:25:54,083 --> 00:25:55,833
Forget it, Freddy.
It's not gonna happen.
715
00:25:55,916 --> 00:25:58,250
There's no co-curator.
I'm the curator.
716
00:25:58,333 --> 00:26:00,791
This is my minibar.
These are my ideas.
717
00:26:00,875 --> 00:26:02,625
And if you don't like it, I go.
718
00:26:02,708 --> 00:26:05,083
I wish you could've been there
in La Cañada. 'Cause again...
719
00:26:05,166 --> 00:26:07,041
-Okay.
-...liking, just not loving
the ideas.
720
00:26:07,125 --> 00:26:08,125
LARRY: I think we're done.
721
00:26:08,208 --> 00:26:09,458
Did you wanna take home
the numbers?
722
00:26:09,541 --> 00:26:11,916
LARRY: No, I really don't.
I'm really not interested.
723
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,250
-I'm sorry you feel that way.
-LARRY: Big mistake.
724
00:26:14,333 --> 00:26:15,375
And you know what else?
725
00:26:15,458 --> 00:26:17,375
I don't want you using
any of my ideas.
726
00:26:17,458 --> 00:26:18,750
I'll fucking sue you.
727
00:26:18,833 --> 00:26:20,500
If you wanna suit up
over the minibar ideas,
you can suit up.
728
00:26:20,583 --> 00:26:21,875
You're just gonna be
throwing your money away.
729
00:26:21,958 --> 00:26:23,583
What, are you gonna sue me
for the Peppermint Pattie?
730
00:26:23,666 --> 00:26:26,083
-If you don't have the vision...
-FREDDY: I don't.
731
00:26:26,166 --> 00:26:29,333
...to know how amazing
a wasabi pea
732
00:26:29,416 --> 00:26:30,750
would be in a minibar,
733
00:26:30,833 --> 00:26:32,416
I don't really want anything
to do with you.
734
00:26:32,500 --> 00:26:33,541
Thank you for your time.
735
00:26:33,625 --> 00:26:35,208
-Okay. All right.
-That's right. Thank you.
736
00:26:35,291 --> 00:26:36,708
All right, let's go
with the other guy.
737
00:26:36,791 --> 00:26:37,916
-Yeah.
-Okay.
738
00:26:40,583 --> 00:26:41,583
-CHERYL: Hi.
-LARRY: Hey.
739
00:26:41,666 --> 00:26:44,166
-Hi.
-Hi, Maria Sofia. Come on in.
740
00:26:44,250 --> 00:26:45,458
-How are you?
-I'm good.
741
00:26:45,541 --> 00:26:46,666
-How are you?
-Good.
742
00:26:46,750 --> 00:26:48,791
So, listen, I've been doing
a lot of studying,
743
00:26:48,875 --> 00:26:51,541
reading up on the Jews.
They use their hands a lot.
744
00:26:51,625 --> 00:26:54,166
So I think I would do,
you know, some, like...
745
00:26:55,041 --> 00:26:56,791
Ah! Something like this.
746
00:26:56,875 --> 00:26:58,791
I don't think
that's such a good idea.
747
00:26:59,791 --> 00:27:01,125
Okay. Why don't you go ahead
748
00:27:01,208 --> 00:27:03,333
and get comfortable
in the studio,
749
00:27:03,416 --> 00:27:05,250
and I will be there
in just a minute.
750
00:27:05,333 --> 00:27:07,083
Good idea.
751
00:27:07,166 --> 00:27:09,458
-Can I talk to you for a second?
-(LARRY SIGHS)
752
00:27:11,666 --> 00:27:18,625
Um, she is the worst actress
I have ever seen in my life.
753
00:27:18,708 --> 00:27:20,083
An eating disorder?
754
00:27:20,166 --> 00:27:22,833
I mean, she reads
her character's name
755
00:27:22,916 --> 00:27:25,958
before she reads the line.
She reads the stage directions.
756
00:27:26,041 --> 00:27:28,750
Larry and Marsha
sit at the table eating!
757
00:27:28,833 --> 00:27:32,041
She also does weird things
with her body physically.
758
00:27:32,125 --> 00:27:33,500
I mean, she's gyrating.
759
00:27:33,583 --> 00:27:36,291
She's practicing her lines
and she's gyrating.
760
00:27:36,375 --> 00:27:37,458
Look at her. Look.
761
00:27:37,541 --> 00:27:40,708
Eat them latkes! (MOANS)
762
00:27:40,791 --> 00:27:42,500
She's so awful.
763
00:27:42,583 --> 00:27:45,125
Just get the best tape you can
and send it to casting.
764
00:27:45,208 --> 00:27:46,666
-Okay? Please?
-Okay. Okay.
765
00:27:46,750 --> 00:27:49,208
She was wearing
the yellow dress!
766
00:27:49,291 --> 00:27:53,541
Larry, she's gonna kill
your show like a cancer.
767
00:27:55,958 --> 00:27:57,250
(QUIETLY) Like a cancer?
768
00:27:57,333 --> 00:27:59,875
MARIA SOFIA:
Oy vey, motherfucker!
769
00:27:59,958 --> 00:28:04,125
♪ (MEXICAN MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
770
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,041
LARRY: You got it?
771
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:10,250
-Hey!
-Hey.
772
00:28:10,333 --> 00:28:11,833
-Hey, what do you say?
-There he is.
773
00:28:11,916 --> 00:28:13,750
-This is my friend, Jeff.
-MARCOS: Hey, Jeff.
774
00:28:13,833 --> 00:28:15,416
-LARRY: This is Marcos.
-Hello, Marcos.
775
00:28:15,500 --> 00:28:17,541
LARRY: He is
the world's greatest
776
00:28:17,625 --> 00:28:19,208
-taco connoisseur.
-MARCOS: Oh!
777
00:28:19,291 --> 00:28:20,375
So they say.
778
00:28:20,458 --> 00:28:22,666
-Great. Thanks for coming.
-JEFF: My pleasure.
779
00:28:24,750 --> 00:28:25,875
What?
780
00:28:25,958 --> 00:28:27,958
-Check out the menu.
-Okay.
781
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:35,458
Eh, poor guy.
He's got, uh, cancer.
782
00:28:35,541 --> 00:28:39,083
-I feel so terrible for him.
-You know how bad it is?
783
00:28:40,375 --> 00:28:41,750
Stage four.
784
00:28:41,833 --> 00:28:42,958
Man.
785
00:28:43,041 --> 00:28:47,083
Anyway, if you need any advice
about anything at all,
786
00:28:47,166 --> 00:28:51,083
he's possessed
with stage four wisdom.
787
00:28:51,166 --> 00:28:54,458
-Stage four.
-LARRY: Yeah. He knows so much.
788
00:28:54,541 --> 00:28:56,625
You mind if I ask him
some questions?
789
00:28:56,708 --> 00:28:58,041
Yeah, you should.
790
00:28:59,291 --> 00:29:00,625
MARCOS: Hey, uh, Jeff?
791
00:29:00,708 --> 00:29:02,583
-Yeah.
-I'm Marcos.
792
00:29:02,666 --> 00:29:05,208
Um, I was wondering
if I can ask you a question.
793
00:29:05,291 --> 00:29:07,291
-Now is the time.
-Yeah.
794
00:29:07,375 --> 00:29:09,125
This place is doing okay,
it's just,
795
00:29:09,208 --> 00:29:11,250
I was wondering
if you had any advice on,
796
00:29:11,333 --> 00:29:13,958
you know, taking it
to the next level.
797
00:29:14,041 --> 00:29:16,791
-Do you serve breakfast?
-We don't, no.
798
00:29:16,875 --> 00:29:18,958
That would be
an addition you need.
799
00:29:19,041 --> 00:29:21,541
People love breakfast burritos.
800
00:29:21,625 --> 00:29:24,041
You never have anyone
turn down a breakfast burrito.
801
00:29:24,125 --> 00:29:25,458
Oh, my God. So true.
802
00:29:25,541 --> 00:29:27,250
You want my own
personal favorite?
803
00:29:27,333 --> 00:29:30,958
-Please?
-Waffle and a breakfast burrito.
804
00:29:31,041 --> 00:29:32,625
You wrap the waffle?
805
00:29:32,708 --> 00:29:34,833
You wrap the waffle
amongst itself.
806
00:29:34,916 --> 00:29:37,875
And, uh, rice pudding.
807
00:29:37,958 --> 00:29:41,458
And also, you're gonna have
to do a lot of social media.
808
00:29:41,541 --> 00:29:43,958
-I'm not good at it, you know.
-JEFF: You're not good at it.
809
00:29:44,041 --> 00:29:45,541
If you don't like it,
maybe you have
810
00:29:45,625 --> 00:29:48,333
a son or a daughter
who enjoys social media.
811
00:29:48,416 --> 00:29:50,708
I do have a daughter,
but she doesn't have time
812
00:29:50,791 --> 00:29:52,791
for that stuff.
She's gonna be an actress.
813
00:29:52,875 --> 00:29:55,500
You know, I've been in
showbusiness a long time.
814
00:29:55,583 --> 00:29:59,541
And I'm gonna tell you something
that I tell every parent.
815
00:29:59,625 --> 00:30:00,666
Don't do it.
816
00:30:00,750 --> 00:30:03,958
Don't allow your child
to be an actress.
817
00:30:04,041 --> 00:30:05,791
-Really?
-I've met many
818
00:30:05,875 --> 00:30:07,625
-a good young actress...
-MARCOS: Yeah.
819
00:30:07,708 --> 00:30:11,208
...whose life has been ruined
by the business.
820
00:30:11,291 --> 00:30:12,791
That's what I feel.
821
00:30:14,541 --> 00:30:16,416
-Thank you.
-Sure.
822
00:30:16,500 --> 00:30:19,208
Man, I thought she was
gonna be a star, but, uh...
823
00:30:20,750 --> 00:30:22,000
I guess I was wrong.
824
00:30:23,166 --> 00:30:24,416
What are you gonna do?
825
00:30:25,250 --> 00:30:26,875
Now, how about that taco?
826
00:30:26,958 --> 00:30:28,583
I'll get you guys a taco.
827
00:30:28,666 --> 00:30:29,958
-Thank you.
-MARCOS: Okay. Yeah.
828
00:30:30,875 --> 00:30:32,666
JEFF: Yeah!
829
00:30:32,750 --> 00:30:34,666
MARCOS: What can I get you guys?
830
00:30:34,750 --> 00:30:37,125
Okay. So, what's really
important about this
831
00:30:37,208 --> 00:30:39,208
is the emotion behind it.
832
00:30:39,291 --> 00:30:40,708
Think about something
that makes you mad
833
00:30:40,791 --> 00:30:43,916
while you're reading this scene,
okay? Can you do that?
834
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:45,625
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Yeah, you've got
a good attitude.
835
00:30:45,708 --> 00:30:48,083
All right.
Let's do it from there, then.
836
00:30:49,333 --> 00:30:52,125
Oh, he's got mailman
written all over him.
837
00:30:52,208 --> 00:30:55,250
You want bald children
with no brains, go right ahead.
838
00:30:55,333 --> 00:31:00,458
I don't have to listen to you!
If I wanna see Larry,
839
00:31:00,541 --> 00:31:02,416
I am gonna see Larry.
840
00:31:02,500 --> 00:31:06,916
You are a horrible mother.
I never wanna see you again.
841
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:08,416
Yeah.
842
00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:11,375
And I know that you
stole my jacket!
843
00:31:11,458 --> 00:31:13,625
-What are you talking about?
-Oh, back up. Don't touch me.
844
00:31:13,708 --> 00:31:15,583
-But wh-- I don't understand.
-You wanna touch me
all of a sudden?
845
00:31:15,666 --> 00:31:17,541
This is not in the-- What are
you saying? The jacket?
846
00:31:17,625 --> 00:31:19,500
I don't know
what you're talking about!
847
00:31:19,583 --> 00:31:21,125
(BOTH YELLING)
848
00:31:21,208 --> 00:31:22,666
Cheryl, what are you doing?
849
00:31:22,750 --> 00:31:23,791
Let her go.
850
00:31:23,875 --> 00:31:25,666
-Ted!
-Get off me, Uncle Moe.
851
00:31:25,750 --> 00:31:28,000
-(TED GRUNTS)
-CHERYL: Oh, my God!
852
00:31:28,083 --> 00:31:30,666
-What is wrong with you?
-(INDISTINCT YELLING)
853
00:31:30,750 --> 00:31:31,958
Hang on, Cheryl!
854
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:36,083
-Cheryl. I'm coming.
-CHERYL: Oh, my God!
855
00:31:36,166 --> 00:31:38,291
-I want my jacket back!
-TED: Let her go!
856
00:31:38,375 --> 00:31:40,625
-(CLOTH TEARING)
-(ALL SHOUTING)
857
00:31:40,708 --> 00:31:43,375
-Get off me!
I want my jacket back!
858
00:31:43,458 --> 00:31:45,750
Bring it on!
I can take both of you!
859
00:31:46,833 --> 00:31:48,250
CASSIE: Okay. Dinner is served.
860
00:31:48,333 --> 00:31:51,416
-(GUESTS CHATTING)
-Here you go, please.
Take a seat.
861
00:31:51,500 --> 00:31:53,208
We have no place cards.
862
00:31:53,291 --> 00:31:54,791
-So wherever you'd like.
-Right here.
863
00:31:54,875 --> 00:31:56,250
-CASSIE: Grab a seat.
-ANDY: Just take a seat.
864
00:31:56,333 --> 00:31:57,916
Susie, would you mind sitting
in the middle just because--
865
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,625
No, I'd rather sit here.
I don't wanna middle.
866
00:32:00,708 --> 00:32:02,500
-Cheryl, please.
-Oh, oh, you know, I'm gonna sit
867
00:32:02,583 --> 00:32:04,458
-next to Susie, thank you.
-No, it's so lovely!
868
00:32:04,541 --> 00:32:05,875
No, no, Andy.
Thank you, thank you.
869
00:32:05,958 --> 00:32:07,666
-Greg, please.
-No, no, we're good.
870
00:32:07,750 --> 00:32:09,083
-I'm a lefty.
-We're left-handed.
871
00:32:09,166 --> 00:32:10,333
-We're gonna sit over here.
-We're gonna sit over here.
872
00:32:10,416 --> 00:32:12,208
Harry, if you'd like to...
873
00:32:12,291 --> 00:32:14,166
Oh, I really don't
feel like middling.
874
00:32:14,250 --> 00:32:15,541
I probably can't see over those.
875
00:32:15,625 --> 00:32:17,166
Oh, you know, where's Larry?
He's the middle.
876
00:32:17,250 --> 00:32:19,666
-Larry should be the middle.
-I know, he's a great middle.
877
00:32:19,750 --> 00:32:21,250
-He's always been good.
-He's supposed to be here.
878
00:32:21,333 --> 00:32:24,666
He has a hot dog eating contest
tomorrow morning.
879
00:32:24,750 --> 00:32:27,791
Wait! Is it the same one
you're in, Harry?
880
00:32:28,791 --> 00:32:31,625
It's-- it's the-- yeah,
I'm doing
881
00:32:31,708 --> 00:32:34,125
a hot dog eating contest
with Larry tomorrow.
882
00:32:34,208 --> 00:32:35,416
-You are?
-HARRY: I am.
883
00:32:35,500 --> 00:32:37,791
Oh, I'd love to see that.
884
00:32:37,875 --> 00:32:39,750
No, you don't. No, you don't.
885
00:32:39,833 --> 00:32:42,666
Please. Oh, my God.
I would love to see it.
886
00:32:43,875 --> 00:32:44,958
-Um...
-CHERYL: For sure.
887
00:32:46,250 --> 00:32:48,291
Yeah. Oh. All right. Yeah.
888
00:32:48,375 --> 00:32:50,541
-Oh, my God.
This is gonna be so fun!
-SUSIE: We'll be there.
889
00:32:50,625 --> 00:32:52,708
Harry, why don't you grab
a seat in the middle
890
00:32:52,791 --> 00:32:54,958
and you can tell us all
how it came about?
891
00:32:55,041 --> 00:32:56,833
But you better not eat anything.
(LAUGHS)
892
00:32:56,916 --> 00:32:59,416
ANDY: Greg, come on, come on.
Over here. Please?
893
00:32:59,500 --> 00:33:02,416
(ALL CHATTER)
894
00:33:02,500 --> 00:33:05,333
So, how are we doing so far?
I mean, J to J.
895
00:33:05,416 --> 00:33:06,500
We're delighted.
896
00:33:06,583 --> 00:33:08,875
-Delighted, happy, all of it.
-JAKE: Great, great.
897
00:33:08,958 --> 00:33:12,458
And I hope we're in agreement
about Maria Sofia,
898
00:33:12,541 --> 00:33:14,625
-because we watched her video.
-Uh-huh.
899
00:33:14,708 --> 00:33:18,000
And we didn't like it.
900
00:33:18,083 --> 00:33:20,416
-Ah.
-It happens.
901
00:33:20,500 --> 00:33:22,125
-We loved it.
-(LAUGHTER)
902
00:33:22,208 --> 00:33:23,291
-JAKE: I mean...
-EXEC 1: Obsessed.
903
00:33:23,375 --> 00:33:24,625
JAKE: We flipped for it.
She's incredible!
904
00:33:24,708 --> 00:33:25,791
-The passion!
-Natural talent.
905
00:33:25,875 --> 00:33:27,750
-Ugh, is she good.
-Future icon.
906
00:33:27,833 --> 00:33:29,250
Well, I'm glad you liked it,
but, uh--
907
00:33:29,333 --> 00:33:30,750
I got to see it again.
I'm sorry.
908
00:33:30,833 --> 00:33:32,958
-It's-- I--
-JAKE: No, no, let me
just show you this.
909
00:33:33,041 --> 00:33:35,833
We've been
watching it all morning
and just dying from it.
910
00:33:35,916 --> 00:33:37,333
-No, but it doesn't--
-JAKE: Let's just watch it.
911
00:33:37,416 --> 00:33:39,833
-I never wanna see you again.
-CHERYL: Yeah.
912
00:33:40,958 --> 00:33:42,333
-And I know...
-I mean...
913
00:33:42,416 --> 00:33:44,041
...that you stole my jacket!
914
00:33:44,125 --> 00:33:45,333
JAKE: That is acting.
915
00:33:45,416 --> 00:33:47,958
I swear, I actually believed
she got her jacket stolen.
916
00:33:48,041 --> 00:33:49,166
She did, yeah.
917
00:33:49,250 --> 00:33:50,375
-Exactly.
-Yeah, yeah.
918
00:33:50,458 --> 00:33:52,541
-(EXECS LAUGHING)
-No, she really did.
919
00:33:52,625 --> 00:33:54,166
And look at the physical comedy.
920
00:33:54,250 --> 00:33:55,500
LARRY: No, that's not comedy.
921
00:33:55,583 --> 00:33:57,916
She actually is in a fight.
It's not a comedy.
922
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,208
You can't teach that.
923
00:33:59,291 --> 00:34:01,000
(LAUGHTER)
924
00:34:01,083 --> 00:34:03,583
Here comes Ted. Here comes Ted.
There he is.
925
00:34:03,666 --> 00:34:06,125
And there he goes.
What a takedown.
926
00:34:06,208 --> 00:34:08,625
Maria steals it. She steals
the whole damn thing.
927
00:34:08,708 --> 00:34:10,041
-I've never seen Ted--
-She's not stealing anything.
928
00:34:10,125 --> 00:34:11,625
He doesn't know what to do,
'cause his girlfriend's
929
00:34:11,708 --> 00:34:13,291
getting pummeled by
this maniac short order cook!
930
00:34:13,375 --> 00:34:14,541
-(EXECS LAUGHING)
-(MARIA SOFIA SCREAMING)
931
00:34:14,625 --> 00:34:18,083
-All right. Can you turn it off?
-(JAKE SIGHS)
932
00:34:19,541 --> 00:34:20,708
That's the show.
933
00:34:20,791 --> 00:34:25,291
Alas, she's not gonna be able
to do the show.
934
00:34:25,375 --> 00:34:26,750
She's quitting acting,
935
00:34:26,833 --> 00:34:28,375
her father's not letting her
do it anymore.
936
00:34:28,458 --> 00:34:29,916
It's sad. It's a shame.
937
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:31,083
-Okay, here's the thing.
-LARRY: Yeah.
938
00:34:31,166 --> 00:34:33,416
I called her to tell her
that I was floored
939
00:34:33,500 --> 00:34:35,125
-by this audition.
-Called who?
940
00:34:35,208 --> 00:34:36,750
JAKE: Maria.
Her dad gets on the phone.
941
00:34:36,833 --> 00:34:38,041
-A mensch, by the way.
-What?
942
00:34:38,125 --> 00:34:40,291
And she's back. She's in.
943
00:34:40,375 --> 00:34:42,083
You called her father?
944
00:34:42,166 --> 00:34:43,583
It's all good.
945
00:34:46,875 --> 00:34:48,041
What's the matter?
946
00:34:51,291 --> 00:34:52,333
(DOOR SLAMS)
947
00:34:53,666 --> 00:34:54,708
Is he mad?
948
00:34:55,250 --> 00:34:56,250
Jets.
949
00:34:56,791 --> 00:34:57,958
-Ah.
-Oh.
950
00:34:58,041 --> 00:35:01,291
-♪ (THEME PARK MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
951
00:35:03,250 --> 00:35:06,458
And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for.
952
00:35:06,541 --> 00:35:08,958
First Fridays Frankfurter Fest.
953
00:35:09,041 --> 00:35:10,458
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
954
00:35:10,541 --> 00:35:12,125
I don't get you. I really don't.
955
00:35:12,208 --> 00:35:13,458
-You don't get me?
-Yeah.
956
00:35:13,541 --> 00:35:15,375
-ANDY: Come on.
-CASSIE: Whoo!
957
00:35:15,458 --> 00:35:17,166
Why'd you tell them
they can come?
958
00:35:17,250 --> 00:35:18,958
'Cause they got excited
because of a text
959
00:35:19,041 --> 00:35:20,666
you told me to fucking send.
All right?
960
00:35:20,750 --> 00:35:22,166
So what, they got excited?
So you say no!
961
00:35:22,250 --> 00:35:23,416
You know, "You can't come.
962
00:35:23,500 --> 00:35:25,041
I'm nervous eating hot dogs
in front of people."
963
00:35:25,125 --> 00:35:26,666
And then neither one of us
would be here now.
964
00:35:26,750 --> 00:35:28,041
Yeah, a fucking girl
that I'm excited about
965
00:35:28,125 --> 00:35:29,958
now is excited to see me,
she's stroking my arm,
966
00:35:30,041 --> 00:35:31,208
and I go, "Oh, no, no.
Don't do that."
967
00:35:31,291 --> 00:35:32,583
Oh, you're a big celebrity now.
968
00:35:32,666 --> 00:35:34,208
You're in a hot dog eating
contest.
969
00:35:34,291 --> 00:35:35,708
-That's fucking pathetic.
-I'm not a big celebrity.
She was excited.
970
00:35:35,791 --> 00:35:36,625
On your marks...
971
00:35:36,708 --> 00:35:37,750
You told them.
972
00:35:37,833 --> 00:35:39,416
I told them because it worked
on one idiot.
973
00:35:39,500 --> 00:35:41,541
I thought it would work
on two more idiots, and it did.
974
00:35:41,625 --> 00:35:43,458
-You're the one who told me
to send the goddamn text.
-(BELL RINGS)
975
00:35:43,541 --> 00:35:44,916
-God damn it!
-(CROWD CHEERING)
976
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:48,291
♪ ("CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM"
THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
977
00:35:49,083 --> 00:35:51,083
Eat it! Come on!
978
00:35:52,583 --> 00:35:55,583
(CHEERING)
979
00:35:56,125 --> 00:35:57,625
Stuff the bun!
980
00:36:01,708 --> 00:36:06,416
♪ (THEME MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪