1 00:00:14,461 --> 00:00:17,543 No hanky-panky, Mr. Beshraavi, 2 00:00:17,544 --> 00:00:19,460 from man or bird. 3 00:00:19,461 --> 00:00:22,043 Believe him, Nejim. He means it. 4 00:00:22,044 --> 00:00:23,878 He said he'd kill me. 5 00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:32,877 Get him, Mustafa. 6 00:00:32,878 --> 00:00:35,294 Hey, hold that door! Hold that door! 7 00:00:35,295 --> 00:00:38,419 Flight 83... what? Hold the door! 8 00:00:38,420 --> 00:00:40,710 - Oh, I'm so sorry. - That's my flight to Los Angeles! 9 00:00:40,711 --> 00:00:42,835 - I'm so sorry. You just missed it. - I'm on that flight. 10 00:00:42,836 --> 00:00:44,151 - Look, I made the plane, I'm here! - You were so close... 11 00:00:44,152 --> 00:00:44,710 - What?! - ...but unfortunately, 12 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,410 ...the door is locked and closed. 13 00:00:46,411 --> 00:00:48,668 - You're not letting me on the plane? - I know it's frustrating, 14 00:00:48,669 --> 00:00:50,210 but once the door closes, that's it. 15 00:00:50,211 --> 00:00:51,460 Federal regulations. 16 00:00:51,461 --> 00:00:54,543 I got caught up watching this movie in the hotel, 17 00:00:54,544 --> 00:00:58,085 "Arabesque," with Sophia Loren and Gregory Peck. 18 00:00:58,086 --> 00:00:59,960 - Mm-hmm. - Please let me in here. 19 00:00:59,961 --> 00:01:02,085 It's so ridiculous. There's the plane right there. 20 00:01:02,086 --> 00:01:05,127 But, really, it's as if the plane's not there. 21 00:01:05,128 --> 00:01:06,835 Wha... are you a magician? 22 00:01:06,836 --> 00:01:08,793 - No, but the door is locked. - I see the plane. 23 00:01:08,794 --> 00:01:10,793 If you're doing a trick, it's not a good trick. 24 00:01:10,794 --> 00:01:12,793 I'm trying my best to accommodate you. 25 00:01:12,794 --> 00:01:14,626 It doesn't seem like it. You're not golden-ruling it. 26 00:01:14,627 --> 00:01:17,127 You're not doing unto others as you would have others do unto you. 27 00:01:17,128 --> 00:01:20,377 Unfortunately, the golden rule is not a federal regulation. 28 00:01:20,378 --> 00:01:22,085 Golden rule trumps everything. 29 00:01:22,086 --> 00:01:24,960 Golden rule's on top, federal law is second. 30 00:01:24,961 --> 00:01:28,501 Good news... we do have one seat left 31 00:01:28,502 --> 00:01:30,002 on the next available flight. 32 00:01:30,003 --> 00:01:33,668 - First class? - No, but it's an aisle seat, 33 00:01:33,669 --> 00:01:34,835 which is kind of a miracle. 34 00:01:34,836 --> 00:01:36,668 So you do have a little time 35 00:01:36,669 --> 00:01:39,460 to enjoy our amazing mall here. 36 00:01:39,461 --> 00:01:42,210 - We have a Wetzel's Pretzels... - A Wetzel's Pretzels. 37 00:01:42,211 --> 00:01:45,835 I can't wait to chomp into one of those Wetzel's Pretzels. 38 00:01:45,836 --> 00:01:46,836 They're delicious. 39 00:01:48,502 --> 00:01:50,585 - Good afternoon. Welcome aboard. - Hi. 40 00:01:50,586 --> 00:01:52,835 11C... straight down and on the right, sir. 41 00:01:52,836 --> 00:01:55,210 Are there any first-class seats open? 42 00:01:55,211 --> 00:01:56,501 No, it's a full flight, sir. 43 00:01:56,502 --> 00:02:00,377 Look, there's an empty seat over here. 44 00:02:00,378 --> 00:02:02,210 Straight down, right-hand side. 45 00:02:02,211 --> 00:02:04,335 - Hello. - If somebody doesn't show up, though, 46 00:02:04,336 --> 00:02:06,460 you let me know, okay? 47 00:02:06,461 --> 00:02:08,335 And, you know, we can work something out. 48 00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,918 I can pay you separately, perhaps. 49 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:13,211 Go to your seat, please, sir. Thank you. 50 00:02:17,211 --> 00:02:19,335 Hey, what are you doing? I just opened this up for me. 51 00:02:19,336 --> 00:02:20,877 - What are you doing? - That's my spot right there. 52 00:02:20,878 --> 00:02:22,377 I don't care. That doesn't mean anything. 53 00:02:22,378 --> 00:02:23,710 This is filled up. I'm using this. 54 00:02:23,711 --> 00:02:25,002 I don't know what to tell you, buddy. 55 00:02:25,003 --> 00:02:26,044 It's the Wild West, okay, so. 56 00:02:37,044 --> 00:02:38,419 Larry. 57 00:02:38,420 --> 00:02:40,377 - Nathan Winocur. - Hey, Doctor. 58 00:02:40,378 --> 00:02:42,085 - Friend of Marty's. - Yeah. 59 00:02:42,086 --> 00:02:44,085 - Good to see ya. - Nice to see you. 60 00:02:44,086 --> 00:02:45,585 Ocean View, right? 61 00:02:45,586 --> 00:02:47,835 That's right. We should play a round. 62 00:02:47,836 --> 00:02:50,210 - We should play. - Let's do that. I'll talk to Marty. 63 00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:52,668 - And I'll get Jeff. You know Jeff? - I love Jeff. 64 00:02:52,669 --> 00:02:55,043 - That's a great foursome. - Yeah, it's a good foursome. 65 00:02:55,044 --> 00:02:57,085 - Great. - Uh, I think I'm there. 66 00:02:57,086 --> 00:03:00,420 Okay, that's me. Thank you. 67 00:03:16,502 --> 00:03:19,043 Sir, sir, I'm sorry. This is for first class passengers. 68 00:03:19,044 --> 00:03:22,085 - I know, but I... I... - Your ticket's for 11C, sir. 69 00:03:22,086 --> 00:03:23,543 I know, but nobody's sitting there. 70 00:03:23,544 --> 00:03:25,335 Could you give me, like, a personal upgrade, 71 00:03:25,336 --> 00:03:27,419 and I can upgrade you, and... 72 00:03:27,420 --> 00:03:29,919 - Sir. - No? Okay. 73 00:03:33,461 --> 00:03:36,002 Sir, can I ask you a really big favor? 74 00:03:36,003 --> 00:03:38,751 I have a medical condition 75 00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:41,960 where I have to... my bladder's really overactive. 76 00:03:41,961 --> 00:03:43,626 I have a bladder condition, 77 00:03:43,627 --> 00:03:45,793 and I have to get up a lot. 78 00:03:45,794 --> 00:03:47,668 Is there any way I could sit in the aisle 79 00:03:47,669 --> 00:03:49,793 and you would want to switch to the middle? 80 00:03:49,794 --> 00:03:52,085 I can't switch seats with you. 81 00:03:52,086 --> 00:03:54,501 I mean, I got the... I can't sit in the middle. 82 00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:56,501 It's claustro... claustrophobic in there. 83 00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:59,668 It's okay. I just have to ask because I'm up so often. 84 00:03:59,669 --> 00:04:00,960 - I'm sorry. - I'll die in the middle. 85 00:04:00,961 --> 00:04:02,668 It's so painful, too. 86 00:04:02,669 --> 00:04:05,002 Just wanna see where the bathrooms are so I know, 87 00:04:05,003 --> 00:04:07,335 - 'cause it's gonna be a run. - Okay, fine. 88 00:04:07,336 --> 00:04:09,710 Really? 89 00:04:09,711 --> 00:04:12,543 You are such a gentleman. Thank you so much. 90 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:13,502 You're welcome. 91 00:04:14,878 --> 00:04:17,002 Heh-hey, my lucky day. 92 00:04:17,003 --> 00:04:19,836 Yeah, mine, too. 93 00:04:26,336 --> 00:04:28,043 I'm just looking for the little thing. 94 00:04:28,044 --> 00:04:31,043 - Gotta buckle up. - Jesus Christ. 95 00:04:31,044 --> 00:04:32,669 Give it here. 96 00:04:44,211 --> 00:04:46,170 Oh, come on. 97 00:04:48,336 --> 00:04:49,835 Can I grab one of your Kleenex, please? 98 00:04:49,836 --> 00:04:51,210 Oh. 99 00:04:51,211 --> 00:04:53,461 I just got... I think it's just allergies. 100 00:04:57,211 --> 00:04:59,044 Oh, man. 101 00:05:05,211 --> 00:05:07,085 No. No. 102 00:05:07,086 --> 00:05:08,086 No. 103 00:05:13,003 --> 00:05:14,710 Sir, if I could just have you open your eyes 104 00:05:14,711 --> 00:05:16,918 so I can see your pupils. 105 00:05:16,919 --> 00:05:19,501 If you could just try and relax a little bit. 106 00:05:19,502 --> 00:05:21,960 - Long, deep breaths. - Excuse me, everyone. 107 00:05:21,961 --> 00:05:24,043 One of our passengers has taken ill. 108 00:05:24,044 --> 00:05:25,668 If there's a doctor onboard, 109 00:05:25,669 --> 00:05:28,252 can you please ring your call button? 110 00:05:28,253 --> 00:05:29,960 Now, sir, are you currently... 111 00:05:29,961 --> 00:05:32,419 Hey, they're asking for a doctor. 112 00:05:32,420 --> 00:05:34,626 - Mm-mmm. - Huh? 113 00:05:34,627 --> 00:05:35,877 You're not gonna heed the call? 114 00:05:35,878 --> 00:05:38,169 Give it a minute. He's gonna be fine. 115 00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:40,710 How do you know? You don't even know what he has. 116 00:05:40,711 --> 00:05:43,419 You ever been part of an emergency landing? Is that what you want, Larry? 117 00:05:43,420 --> 00:05:45,710 To spend the night in Lubbock, Texas, at a Days Inn 118 00:05:45,711 --> 00:05:47,960 with a $15 voucher from Cinnabon? 119 00:05:47,961 --> 00:05:49,878 Think about it. 120 00:05:54,752 --> 00:05:56,419 Excuse me. 121 00:05:56,420 --> 00:05:57,918 I'd like to use the bathroom. 122 00:05:57,919 --> 00:05:59,460 Okay. 123 00:05:59,461 --> 00:06:01,086 - Here. - Thank you. 124 00:06:04,627 --> 00:06:06,460 Yeah, don't... don't move too much. 125 00:06:06,461 --> 00:06:08,210 Don't get up. 126 00:06:08,211 --> 00:06:09,751 Ow! 127 00:06:09,752 --> 00:06:13,044 Ah! Why don't you move your foot, for God's sake?! 128 00:06:16,295 --> 00:06:18,127 I'm so glad I ran into you on this flight. 129 00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,585 I'll call up Marty. We'll set up a game. 130 00:06:19,586 --> 00:06:21,169 Yeah, yeah, we'll play. 131 00:06:21,170 --> 00:06:23,127 Oh, you got up. 132 00:06:23,128 --> 00:06:25,793 By the way, that's the first time that you got up the entire trip. 133 00:06:25,794 --> 00:06:28,294 That was a total bullshit story about the bladder. 134 00:06:28,295 --> 00:06:30,877 - I have a medical condition. - Medical. 135 00:06:30,878 --> 00:06:32,460 You got a medical condition. 136 00:06:32,461 --> 00:06:34,335 She's got a medical condition. 137 00:06:34,336 --> 00:06:36,252 One day, you're... you're gonna really have to go to the bathroom, 138 00:06:36,253 --> 00:06:37,460 and no one's gonna let you. 139 00:06:37,461 --> 00:06:39,043 I had to sit in the middle 140 00:06:39,044 --> 00:06:40,669 the entire trip because of you! 141 00:06:47,961 --> 00:06:49,170 Thank you. 142 00:06:53,295 --> 00:06:55,085 Welcome back. 143 00:06:55,086 --> 00:06:57,127 Thank you. 144 00:06:57,128 --> 00:06:59,543 Nice to be home. Is that your handiwork? 145 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,294 Fuck, no. I wouldn't do that shit. 146 00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:03,835 You know what, that's not gonna make me wash a car. 147 00:07:03,836 --> 00:07:05,419 If anything, I'm not gonna wash it. 148 00:07:05,420 --> 00:07:07,377 - I wouldn't wash it. - Just to annoy this guy. 149 00:07:07,378 --> 00:07:09,626 I assume it's a guy. A woman wouldn't do something like that. 150 00:07:09,627 --> 00:07:10,835 Ladies don't do that kind of shit. 151 00:07:10,836 --> 00:07:13,626 Ladies bust windows out and slash tires 152 00:07:13,627 --> 00:07:15,002 and key your car and shit. 153 00:07:15,003 --> 00:07:17,336 "Wash me." This is what I'm gonna do. 154 00:07:19,502 --> 00:07:20,793 - I like that shit. - Huh? 155 00:07:20,794 --> 00:07:22,668 You like that? See the comma after "no"? 156 00:07:22,669 --> 00:07:24,002 - No! - That's good grammar. 157 00:07:24,003 --> 00:07:25,751 - You wash me! You wash me! - Yeah. 158 00:07:25,752 --> 00:07:27,085 - Yeah. - I like that shit. 159 00:07:27,086 --> 00:07:29,585 Hey, did you ever see this movie "Arabesque"? 160 00:07:29,586 --> 00:07:31,751 Nah. Is that one of those "Star Trek" movies? 161 00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:34,377 No, no. It's an old movie with Sophia Loren. 162 00:07:34,378 --> 00:07:36,835 - She's gorgeous. - Is she naked in the movie? 163 00:07:36,836 --> 00:07:38,294 No, it was... it was from the '60s. 164 00:07:38,295 --> 00:07:39,918 Nobody... nobody got naked in the '60s. 165 00:07:39,919 --> 00:07:41,751 She's gotta be naked in something. 166 00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:43,585 Well, if you come across anything, let me know. 167 00:07:43,586 --> 00:07:44,669 You know I'ma look. 168 00:07:46,211 --> 00:07:48,710 He refused to see the person? 169 00:07:48,711 --> 00:07:50,668 He did not heed the call! 170 00:07:50,669 --> 00:07:52,085 I don't know what happened on the plane, 171 00:07:52,086 --> 00:07:54,127 but he's a great guy to play golf with. 172 00:07:54,128 --> 00:07:55,294 Very surprising. 173 00:07:55,295 --> 00:07:56,543 Do you care about the character 174 00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:57,877 of people you play golf with 175 00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,501 if they leave you alone on the course? 176 00:07:59,502 --> 00:08:01,210 No, I'm happy to play with a reprobate 177 00:08:01,211 --> 00:08:02,377 if he has a good personality 178 00:08:02,378 --> 00:08:03,377 and I enjoy playing with him. 179 00:08:03,378 --> 00:08:04,460 I'll play with reprobates. 180 00:08:04,461 --> 00:08:06,252 - Yeah? - Oh, really? 181 00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:08,710 - Yes. - You, Manson, Ramirez, and Hitler. 182 00:08:08,711 --> 00:08:11,169 - That's a good foursome. - If they play fast. 183 00:08:11,170 --> 00:08:13,543 - If they play fast. - I'd rather play with a fast Manson 184 00:08:13,544 --> 00:08:15,626 than a slow Funkhouser, I'll tell you that. 185 00:08:15,627 --> 00:08:18,710 - Any day of the week. - Yeah, you're a little slow. 186 00:08:18,711 --> 00:08:20,918 I line my ball up, I look, I hit it. 187 00:08:20,919 --> 00:08:24,252 Hey, Lar, did I tell you that we hired a decorator for the new house? 188 00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:27,127 I'm going up to meet her Sunday in San Francisco. 189 00:08:27,128 --> 00:08:28,835 Jeff, you're taking me to the airport, 1:00. 190 00:08:28,836 --> 00:08:31,002 Don't forget. Don't make any plans. 191 00:08:31,003 --> 00:08:32,169 Airport... oh, God. 192 00:08:32,170 --> 00:08:33,169 Why does he have to take you to the airport? 193 00:08:33,170 --> 00:08:35,377 - He's gotta see me off. - See you off? 194 00:08:35,378 --> 00:08:37,668 You're not going to India. You're going to San Francisco! 195 00:08:37,669 --> 00:08:39,294 - It's an hour away. - So what? 196 00:08:39,295 --> 00:08:40,918 See you off? You'll be back that night. 197 00:08:40,919 --> 00:08:43,085 You know what, Larry, it's not surprising to me 198 00:08:43,086 --> 00:08:45,918 that you're the only one of this group who's here as a single... 199 00:08:45,919 --> 00:08:47,751 - Oh, yeah. - ...with no girlfriend, no wife. 200 00:08:47,752 --> 00:08:50,960 Maybe if you would've seen Cheryl off a few more times, 201 00:08:50,961 --> 00:08:53,043 - you'd still be together. - I don't think so. 202 00:08:53,044 --> 00:08:56,127 - He wants to, trust me. - No, trust me, he doesn't. 203 00:08:56,128 --> 00:08:58,085 - Jeff, do you want to? - No. 204 00:08:58,086 --> 00:09:00,294 - Well, you're going to. - You know why you're doing this? 205 00:09:00,295 --> 00:09:01,095 Why, Larry? 206 00:09:01,096 --> 00:09:02,960 Because you wanna ruin his day, that's why. 207 00:09:02,961 --> 00:09:04,960 Okay, Kreskin. Could read my mind. 208 00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:06,460 You think you know what goes on 209 00:09:06,461 --> 00:09:08,335 in the complexities of my brain 210 00:09:08,336 --> 00:09:10,751 and who I am. 211 00:09:10,752 --> 00:09:13,377 - The complexities of who you are? - Mm-hmm. 212 00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:16,585 Who are you? You're a Jew from the Bronx! 213 00:09:16,586 --> 00:09:18,419 I can't wait to see her off. 214 00:09:18,420 --> 00:09:20,751 - I really like your friends. - They're very lovely people. 215 00:09:20,752 --> 00:09:23,460 Okay! 216 00:09:23,461 --> 00:09:26,461 Please do not sit on the arm of the chair. 217 00:09:28,919 --> 00:09:30,460 Dinner is served. 218 00:09:30,461 --> 00:09:32,335 - Yeah, all right. - Yay, yay. 219 00:09:32,336 --> 00:09:33,793 - Yeah! - I like it. 220 00:09:33,794 --> 00:09:36,377 - Did you fucking catch that? - I caught it! 221 00:09:36,378 --> 00:09:37,835 What the fuck? 222 00:09:37,836 --> 00:09:40,794 Oh, oh, oh. Honey, you forgot your drink. 223 00:09:42,086 --> 00:09:43,626 Thanks. 224 00:09:43,627 --> 00:09:45,835 Oh, Marilyn, the table's gorgeous! 225 00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,043 - Hey. - Huh? 226 00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:49,793 You ever called her honey before? 227 00:09:49,794 --> 00:09:51,918 I doubt it. No. 228 00:09:51,919 --> 00:09:53,127 How many dates have you been on? 229 00:09:53,128 --> 00:09:54,335 - Two. - Pssh! 230 00:09:54,336 --> 00:09:56,668 You just gave a premature honey. 231 00:09:56,669 --> 00:09:57,835 I gotta tell you something. 232 00:09:57,836 --> 00:09:59,043 - A premature honey? - Yeah. 233 00:09:59,044 --> 00:10:00,793 Premature, too soon for honey. 234 00:10:00,794 --> 00:10:02,419 Honey's way down the line. 235 00:10:02,420 --> 00:10:04,127 You gotta spend a weekend together 236 00:10:04,128 --> 00:10:06,710 or something in the country before you can jump to honey. 237 00:10:06,711 --> 00:10:08,169 I know what you're trying to do, 238 00:10:08,170 --> 00:10:09,793 you're trying to jump ahead with the relationship. 239 00:10:09,794 --> 00:10:12,252 But it doesn't work. You got caught. 240 00:10:12,253 --> 00:10:13,001 You're blowing this.. 241 00:10:13,002 --> 00:10:14,201 - ..way out of proportion. - Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 242 00:10:14,202 --> 00:10:16,377 - She doesn't care, Dr. Phil. - Okay. 243 00:10:16,378 --> 00:10:18,419 You don't know what you're talking about. 244 00:10:18,420 --> 00:10:20,085 - I think you made a big mistake. - Everything is cool, man. 245 00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:22,918 Can I take a moment, please? 246 00:10:22,919 --> 00:10:25,751 On behalf of my adorable new girlfriend, 247 00:10:25,752 --> 00:10:28,085 thank you for a delicious dinner. 248 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:29,585 - Thank you for coming. - Cheers. 249 00:10:29,586 --> 00:10:30,793 Cheers. Prego. 250 00:10:30,794 --> 00:10:32,252 Marty, cheers. 251 00:10:32,253 --> 00:10:33,918 - Health, happiness. - So nice to meet you. 252 00:10:33,919 --> 00:10:35,710 - Thank you for having us. - Yes, very nice. 253 00:10:35,711 --> 00:10:37,543 - You can't clink, Larry? - Why do I have to clink? 254 00:10:37,544 --> 00:10:39,335 Because it's a custom that people do, 255 00:10:39,336 --> 00:10:40,543 - which is friendly and nice. - It's a stupid custom. 256 00:10:40,544 --> 00:10:42,294 What does it mean, the clinking? 257 00:10:42,295 --> 00:10:44,252 - Oh. - Cheers. 258 00:10:44,253 --> 00:10:45,960 Mmm. 259 00:10:45,961 --> 00:10:49,877 You know, you pick up a knife like this, a steak knife, 260 00:10:49,878 --> 00:10:52,460 you get the urge... I do... that I wanna... 261 00:10:52,461 --> 00:10:55,294 I wanna stab... I wanna stab with it. 262 00:10:55,295 --> 00:10:57,002 - Oh? - Really? 263 00:10:57,003 --> 00:10:59,043 Yeah, 'cause you pick up a baseball bat, you wanna swing it. 264 00:10:59,044 --> 00:11:01,002 You pick up a tennis ball, you wanna throw it. 265 00:11:01,003 --> 00:11:02,626 When you have a... a knife, 266 00:11:02,627 --> 00:11:04,419 you wanna stab, do you not? 267 00:11:04,420 --> 00:11:06,377 - Yeah, a little bit. - Huh? Know what they should have? 268 00:11:06,378 --> 00:11:08,844 - What's that? - A stabbing range. 269 00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:10,293 - Get out of here. - Yeah, a stabbing range where.. 270 00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:13,377 - you can stab..stab dummies. - Wow. 271 00:11:13,378 --> 00:11:14,918 You'd feel good. You'd feel good. 272 00:11:14,919 --> 00:11:16,377 Where would the stabbing range be? 273 00:11:16,378 --> 00:11:18,877 In the Valley. 274 00:11:18,878 --> 00:11:20,501 What do you think, Marilyn? 275 00:11:20,502 --> 00:11:22,294 The knife... do you feel like stabbing somebody? 276 00:11:22,295 --> 00:11:24,461 Yeah, I feel like stabbing someone. 277 00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:29,294 Hmm, interesting. 278 00:11:29,295 --> 00:11:31,043 This is fantastic food. 279 00:11:31,044 --> 00:11:32,751 - Thank you. - It really is. 280 00:11:32,752 --> 00:11:35,294 Yeah, I can never get my potatoes like that. 281 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,877 - Mmm. - They're really good. 282 00:11:36,878 --> 00:11:38,835 What is this, tap? 283 00:11:38,836 --> 00:11:40,419 Yes, it is. 284 00:11:40,420 --> 00:11:42,668 No filter? 285 00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:44,002 No filter. Tap water. 286 00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:45,169 Huh, interesting. 287 00:11:45,170 --> 00:11:47,085 Surprised you don't have a filter. 288 00:11:47,086 --> 00:11:48,835 You have no filter. 289 00:11:48,836 --> 00:11:51,085 - Huh, that's... yeah. - Isn't it obvious? 290 00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:52,002 That's true. 291 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:54,002 You just say whatever comes into your mind. 292 00:11:54,003 --> 00:11:57,294 You don't really modulate your inner feelings at all, do you? 293 00:11:57,295 --> 00:11:59,960 It's a good thing for me, but it's a bad thing for water. 294 00:11:59,961 --> 00:12:03,420 Excuse me, I smell something burning. 295 00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:06,751 - LD. - Hmm? 296 00:12:06,752 --> 00:12:09,751 Goldfish would commit suicide in this water. 297 00:12:09,752 --> 00:12:13,127 Yeah! Wha... how come you didn't say that when she was there? 298 00:12:13,128 --> 00:12:15,043 You know, I'm a guest. I don't know. 299 00:12:15,044 --> 00:12:17,002 You're like Fred MacMurray in "The Caine Mutiny" 300 00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:19,501 when he and Van Johnson go to see the admiral, 301 00:12:19,502 --> 00:12:21,626 then Fred MacMurray gets cold feet and he backs out. 302 00:12:21,627 --> 00:12:23,127 That's a movie, this is real life. 303 00:12:23,128 --> 00:12:25,335 In real life, you're polite to your hostess. 304 00:12:25,336 --> 00:12:27,668 Of course, you're polite. And why wouldn't you be? 305 00:12:27,669 --> 00:12:29,378 There's a hostess, and you have... 306 00:12:29,578 --> 00:12:30,793 That's pretty good. 307 00:12:30,794 --> 00:12:32,668 Sure, sure, the water, the water. 308 00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,544 By the way, I'm not the only one who can't stand it. 309 00:12:35,836 --> 00:12:38,044 Can't stand what? 310 00:12:40,461 --> 00:12:42,711 Well, Marty likes my water. 311 00:12:57,711 --> 00:13:00,002 - Very good. - See? 312 00:13:00,003 --> 00:13:02,294 You're really the only person 313 00:13:02,295 --> 00:13:04,002 who has a problem with the water. 314 00:13:04,003 --> 00:13:06,335 You know, it's just water. What are you so sensitive about? 315 00:13:06,336 --> 00:13:08,002 I want you to go. 316 00:13:08,003 --> 00:13:10,419 I'm getting kicked out? 317 00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:13,002 - Yeah, I think... - You're kicking me out? 318 00:13:13,003 --> 00:13:14,668 Yeah, I think you should leave. 319 00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:16,626 This is unbelievable. Okay. 320 00:13:16,627 --> 00:13:19,169 Well, it was fun. We... we really... 321 00:13:19,170 --> 00:13:22,043 - It was not fun. - No, it wasn't. 322 00:13:22,044 --> 00:13:23,877 I leave my knife 323 00:13:23,878 --> 00:13:27,253 and I bid you adieu. 324 00:13:52,336 --> 00:13:54,377 You guys, look! Ah! 325 00:13:54,378 --> 00:13:58,294 - Hey, bald fuck! - Bald fuck! 326 00:13:58,295 --> 00:14:01,420 Blow me, blow me! 327 00:14:03,752 --> 00:14:06,085 You wash it! You wash it! 328 00:14:06,086 --> 00:14:08,002 Blow me, bald fuck! 329 00:14:08,003 --> 00:14:09,420 Shut up! Shut up! 330 00:14:10,919 --> 00:14:12,710 Oh, you were right, Larry. 331 00:14:12,711 --> 00:14:14,294 I blew it with Rhonda. 332 00:14:14,295 --> 00:14:16,085 I told you it was a premature honey. 333 00:14:16,086 --> 00:14:18,751 And she's been cold ever since. 334 00:14:18,752 --> 00:14:21,002 - Yeah, it was bad. - I said honey. 335 00:14:21,003 --> 00:14:23,085 - What's the big deal? - I told them no mushrooms in this thing. 336 00:14:23,086 --> 00:14:25,169 - I said no mushrooms, all right? - I've lost a potential bride, 337 00:14:25,170 --> 00:14:26,918 and you're talking about salad? 338 00:14:26,919 --> 00:14:30,626 - I blew it. - You saw... you saw a wife there 339 00:14:30,627 --> 00:14:33,835 and you seized on it with a honey, right? 340 00:14:33,836 --> 00:14:35,419 - That's what you did. - It was a seize. 341 00:14:35,420 --> 00:14:36,751 - You seized. - I did seize. 342 00:14:36,752 --> 00:14:38,252 - You did seize. - So, what do I do? 343 00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:39,501 I don't know. 344 00:14:39,502 --> 00:14:41,501 Oh, great. 345 00:14:41,502 --> 00:14:43,419 It's from Rhonda. 346 00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:45,419 "We need to talk." 347 00:14:45,420 --> 00:14:47,626 - Oh. - I'm through. 348 00:14:47,627 --> 00:14:48,835 You're done. 349 00:14:48,836 --> 00:14:50,710 What ever comes good after "we need to talk"? 350 00:14:50,711 --> 00:14:51,994 - Nothing. - You ever hear this? 351 00:14:51,995 --> 00:14:54,960 "We need to talk. I'm taking you to Cancun." 352 00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:56,501 - No, that's not happening. - Is that gonna happen? 353 00:14:56,502 --> 00:14:58,668 - No. No. - That's not gonna happen. 354 00:14:58,669 --> 00:15:01,210 - What do I do, man? - Can I get you a refill? 355 00:15:01,211 --> 00:15:02,710 - Okay. - What do I do? 356 00:15:02,711 --> 00:15:05,210 I got an idea. Text her back. 357 00:15:05,211 --> 00:15:06,960 Tell her to come meet you at the restaurant. 358 00:15:06,961 --> 00:15:08,543 - Why? - When she comes in, 359 00:15:08,544 --> 00:15:10,960 you start calling everybody honey. 360 00:15:10,961 --> 00:15:13,127 - I do what? - Call everybody honey... 361 00:15:13,128 --> 00:15:16,169 the waitresses, the manager, customers, everyone. 362 00:15:16,170 --> 00:15:18,918 - Why? - Because... 'cause you're a guy 363 00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:21,294 who just uses the word honey a lot. 364 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:23,076 You mean it's part of my working vocabulary? 365 00:15:23,077 --> 00:15:24,377 Yes! Yes! 366 00:15:24,378 --> 00:15:26,085 And what would that mean to her? 367 00:15:26,086 --> 00:15:28,210 That means that she's just part of the honey parade. 368 00:15:28,211 --> 00:15:29,793 - So, I just call everybody honey? - You call everybody honey. 369 00:15:29,794 --> 00:15:31,626 - I like the honey parade. - Huh? 370 00:15:31,627 --> 00:15:33,836 - All right, I'll have her come down. - Yeah. 371 00:15:35,627 --> 00:15:36,877 There, she's coming. There she is. 372 00:15:36,878 --> 00:15:38,085 - Where? - There. 373 00:15:38,086 --> 00:15:39,083 Oh, boy. 374 00:15:39,084 --> 00:15:40,543 Larry, I didn't know you were gonna be here. 375 00:15:40,544 --> 00:15:41,710 - Hi! - Hi. 376 00:15:41,711 --> 00:15:43,169 Hi. Oh, hold on a second. 377 00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:45,252 Honey, do you mind if I grab a chair? 378 00:15:45,253 --> 00:15:49,460 - Thank you, honey. - Oh, no, I don't... um, thanks. 379 00:15:49,461 --> 00:15:51,002 I just... I could come back. 380 00:15:51,003 --> 00:15:54,043 I just wanted to have just, like, a quick conversation. 381 00:15:54,044 --> 00:15:55,668 I don't wanna interrupt a whole thing. 382 00:15:55,669 --> 00:15:57,335 No, you're not interrupting anything. 383 00:15:57,336 --> 00:15:59,169 Excuse me, honey. Can I get... 384 00:15:59,170 --> 00:16:01,419 - What... what do you want? - Oh, I'll just have a coffee. 385 00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:04,585 A black coffee, honey. 386 00:16:04,586 --> 00:16:06,877 That's all you want? Are you hungry? 387 00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:09,543 Uh, well, I wasn't planning on staying that long, 388 00:16:09,544 --> 00:16:11,668 - but maybe... maybe I'll get a sand... - Oh, honey, right here. 389 00:16:11,669 --> 00:16:13,210 - The coffee. - Oh, thank you so much. 390 00:16:13,211 --> 00:16:16,877 Honey, can you bring a turkey burger and some fries? 391 00:16:16,878 --> 00:16:18,460 Thanks, honey. Hey, hon! 392 00:16:18,461 --> 00:16:20,377 You know, honey, can we get an extra napkin? 393 00:16:20,378 --> 00:16:22,210 Hey, could I get some coffee, honey? 394 00:16:22,211 --> 00:16:23,793 - Mm-hmm. - Honey? Honey? 395 00:16:23,794 --> 00:16:24,877 Thank you, honey. 396 00:16:24,878 --> 00:16:26,543 Could we get the check, honey? 397 00:16:26,544 --> 00:16:27,919 Thank you, honey. 398 00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:33,877 - Thank you. - So, what did you wanna talk about? 399 00:16:33,878 --> 00:16:37,585 Oh, just I'm free on Friday night now 400 00:16:37,586 --> 00:16:40,377 and wanted to see if you wanted to do something together. 401 00:16:40,378 --> 00:16:42,419 Pick me up at work? I'll be done around 8:00. 402 00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:43,918 Then we'll have just one car. 403 00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:46,043 - Uh, yeah. - Great! 404 00:16:46,044 --> 00:16:48,960 - Where do you work? - Uh, I work at Neiman Marcus. 405 00:16:48,961 --> 00:16:50,918 - Is that so? - Yeah. 406 00:16:50,919 --> 00:16:52,902 - Huh. - I am a sales professional on 407 00:16:52,903 --> 00:16:55,835 the men's floor. If you ever want any help, let me know. 408 00:16:55,836 --> 00:16:57,169 Now that you mention it, 409 00:16:57,170 --> 00:16:59,585 I could actually use a couple of pairs of pants. 410 00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,127 Call me anytime. Seriously, stop by. 411 00:17:01,128 --> 00:17:02,960 - I'm going to. - Great, give him my number. 412 00:17:02,961 --> 00:17:04,543 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 413 00:17:04,544 --> 00:17:06,169 - Larry, it's great to see you. - Good to see you again. 414 00:17:06,170 --> 00:17:07,543 - Vey good to see you, Larry. - Always a pleasure. 415 00:17:07,544 --> 00:17:09,543 Do you want me to leave any money for this? 416 00:17:09,544 --> 00:17:11,169 - Are you taking care of it? Okay. - It's all right. 417 00:17:11,170 --> 00:17:12,751 - It's all right. - He's a good guy. 418 00:17:12,752 --> 00:17:15,210 - To us. - Oh! What do you wanna do on Friday? 419 00:17:15,211 --> 00:17:16,253 Anything you want, honey. 420 00:17:20,420 --> 00:17:22,210 Oh. 421 00:17:22,211 --> 00:17:24,543 You wanna go to the Rams game on Sunday with Rob? 422 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:25,877 He's got extra tickets. 423 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:28,043 I'd love to go to the Rams game on Sunday. 424 00:17:28,044 --> 00:17:30,668 Gotta take Susie to the airport. 425 00:17:30,669 --> 00:17:32,501 She's ridiculous! 426 00:17:32,502 --> 00:17:34,461 - All right, I got an idea. - What? 427 00:17:36,086 --> 00:17:38,294 Accidental text on purpose. 428 00:17:38,295 --> 00:17:39,960 Please explain. 429 00:17:39,961 --> 00:17:42,127 You're sending a text to me, 430 00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:44,626 but it goes to her "by accident." 431 00:17:44,627 --> 00:17:46,793 - Uh-huh. - And in the text, you say, 432 00:17:46,794 --> 00:17:49,085 "Hey, LD, I'd love to go to the game, 433 00:17:49,086 --> 00:17:50,501 but I'm taking Susie to the airport. 434 00:17:50,502 --> 00:17:51,877 I don't wanna disappoint her. 435 00:17:51,878 --> 00:17:53,127 We're getting along so great." 436 00:17:53,128 --> 00:17:55,210 - And it goes to her... - It goes to her. 437 00:17:55,211 --> 00:17:56,835 - ...but it was meant to you. - Meant to me! 438 00:17:56,836 --> 00:17:58,793 - Saying how great Susie is... - How great Susie is. 439 00:17:58,794 --> 00:18:00,419 - ...and how much I love her. - Yeah. 440 00:18:00,420 --> 00:18:03,169 You, sir, are an amazing man. 441 00:18:03,170 --> 00:18:05,169 - I am texting Susie right now. - Oh, here they are. 442 00:18:05,170 --> 00:18:06,668 - Larry, Jeff. - Hello. 443 00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:08,294 - Thanks for letting me join you guys. - Sure. 444 00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:10,835 - Yeah. - You should see this guy on the range. 445 00:18:10,836 --> 00:18:13,085 - What's your handicap? - 10. 446 00:18:13,086 --> 00:18:15,002 - What are you? - 15. 447 00:18:15,003 --> 00:18:17,960 We should make it interesting, play for some cheddar. 448 00:18:17,961 --> 00:18:20,460 - Sure. - Yeah? 200? 449 00:18:20,461 --> 00:18:22,669 - Okay, you're on. - Great. 450 00:18:25,378 --> 00:18:27,043 I pick up a knife, I have an urge to stab. 451 00:18:27,044 --> 00:18:30,085 But it's a stupid thing to say at a dinner table. 452 00:18:30,086 --> 00:18:33,543 And then you made such a deal over the goddamn filter. 453 00:18:33,544 --> 00:18:34,477 Terrible water. 454 00:18:34,478 --> 00:18:35,877 But you didn't have to say anything about it. 455 00:18:35,878 --> 00:18:38,501 How could you not comment on water that's so bad? 456 00:18:38,502 --> 00:18:41,085 Okay, I've done everything I can to get her back. 457 00:18:41,086 --> 00:18:45,085 I sent her flowers... boom... shredded on my doorstep. 458 00:18:45,086 --> 00:18:47,711 I mean, I don't know what to do. 459 00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:50,877 - Oh! - Oh! 460 00:18:50,878 --> 00:18:52,501 Oh! 461 00:18:52,502 --> 00:18:56,002 - Accidental text on purpose! - Accidental text. Oh, my God. 462 00:18:56,003 --> 00:18:58,335 - Tell him. - Okay, here's what you do. 463 00:18:58,336 --> 00:19:00,127 You send me a text, 464 00:19:00,128 --> 00:19:04,419 but you accidentally send it to her on purpose. 465 00:19:04,420 --> 00:19:06,210 And in the text, you say something like, 466 00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:08,543 "Hey, Larry, you were an asshole the other night. 467 00:19:08,544 --> 00:19:11,501 There's nothing wrong with her water. It's perfectly okay." 468 00:19:11,502 --> 00:19:14,085 Say anything you want. Curse me, anything. I don't care. 469 00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:16,377 Okay, I've never said this to you before. 470 00:19:16,378 --> 00:19:18,002 - Yeah. - You're brilliant. 471 00:19:18,003 --> 00:19:19,710 - Thank you, thank you. - Right, right?! 472 00:19:19,711 --> 00:19:21,710 I invented this. I invented this. 473 00:19:21,711 --> 00:19:22,835 He already did it for me. 474 00:19:22,836 --> 00:19:24,294 "Dear Larry..." 475 00:19:24,295 --> 00:19:26,543 - I can say anything I want! - Anything! 476 00:19:26,544 --> 00:19:28,252 "Larry, you were so out of line 477 00:19:28,253 --> 00:19:29,827 the other night about the water." 478 00:19:29,828 --> 00:19:30,217 Yes! 479 00:19:30,218 --> 00:19:31,918 "If Marilyn didn't throw you out, I would've." 480 00:19:31,919 --> 00:19:33,460 Perfect! 481 00:19:33,461 --> 00:19:35,085 Damn it! 482 00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:36,420 He's had some bad luck today. 483 00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:40,626 All right, there we go. 484 00:19:40,627 --> 00:19:42,127 - Oh, that's nice. - Here it comes. 485 00:19:42,128 --> 00:19:44,252 - All right. - Hey, where do you lie? 486 00:19:44,253 --> 00:19:45,585 Uh, four. 487 00:19:45,586 --> 00:19:46,751 Look! 488 00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:48,626 She texted me right back. 489 00:19:48,627 --> 00:19:50,169 "I love you. 490 00:19:50,170 --> 00:19:52,169 I know this is not meant for me. 491 00:19:52,170 --> 00:19:55,752 What a great man to stick up for me like that." 492 00:19:57,170 --> 00:19:58,419 - Unbelievable. - Thank you. 493 00:19:58,420 --> 00:19:59,668 - Unbelievable. - Huh? 494 00:19:59,669 --> 00:20:01,585 - Brilliant! - Get the flag, Jeff? 495 00:20:01,586 --> 00:20:02,918 Yep. 496 00:20:02,919 --> 00:20:04,419 Well, you're playing great today. 497 00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:05,878 No, I'm having a bad day. 498 00:20:07,752 --> 00:20:08,751 Beautiful. 499 00:20:08,752 --> 00:20:10,585 - Oh! - Beautiful! 500 00:20:10,586 --> 00:20:11,710 Oh! 501 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,252 - Is that a birdie? - Beautiful. 502 00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:15,793 - Oh, my God. - Oh, guys, I hate to do this. 503 00:20:15,794 --> 00:20:17,793 I got a medical emergency. I gotta get to Cedars. 504 00:20:17,794 --> 00:20:20,960 - We only have three more holes. - No, we got a medical emergency here. 505 00:20:20,961 --> 00:20:22,419 Wait, wait. What are you talking about? 506 00:20:22,420 --> 00:20:23,835 You owe me $200. Pay up. 507 00:20:23,836 --> 00:20:25,626 It's an emergency. I'm a doctor. 508 00:20:25,627 --> 00:20:27,127 You weren't a doctor on the plane. 509 00:20:27,128 --> 00:20:28,835 I gotta go. A patient needs me. 510 00:20:28,836 --> 00:20:31,793 Oh, boy, you're down three with three to play. 511 00:20:31,794 --> 00:20:35,793 Oh, so when you're losing money, you heed the call, is that it? 512 00:20:35,794 --> 00:20:37,127 You know what that is? 513 00:20:37,128 --> 00:20:39,294 Selective heeding, that's what that is! 514 00:20:39,295 --> 00:20:41,043 You didn't get any text anyway. 515 00:20:41,044 --> 00:20:42,170 It was all bullshit! 516 00:20:49,711 --> 00:20:51,377 - Enigma? - What the fuck?! 517 00:20:51,378 --> 00:20:53,543 Whoa! Oh! 518 00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:55,127 - Jesus Christ! - God! 519 00:20:55,128 --> 00:20:57,169 Crazy! 520 00:20:57,170 --> 00:21:00,085 It's just perfume. 521 00:21:00,086 --> 00:21:03,377 ...out of nowhere, right in my face, spritzing me. 522 00:21:03,378 --> 00:21:05,710 - They're the worst. - Come on, what is that? What a violation. 523 00:21:05,711 --> 00:21:07,335 You know what, they'll usually go away, though, 524 00:21:07,336 --> 00:21:08,501 if you just wave them away. 525 00:21:08,502 --> 00:21:11,793 - Did you wave her away? - Sort of, yeah. 526 00:21:11,794 --> 00:21:13,835 Here, do you like this color? 527 00:21:13,836 --> 00:21:15,710 - Yeah, yeah, that's good. - Yeah. 528 00:21:15,711 --> 00:21:17,668 - All right, let's try these. - Okay. 529 00:21:17,669 --> 00:21:19,751 By the way, I wanted to let you know 530 00:21:19,752 --> 00:21:23,210 I was very impressed that you said something about the water the other day. 531 00:21:23,211 --> 00:21:25,294 Well, thank you for saying so. 532 00:21:25,295 --> 00:21:27,169 It's hard to, you know, get in front of a group 533 00:21:27,170 --> 00:21:30,002 and... and say what everyone's thinking when it's uncomfortable. 534 00:21:30,003 --> 00:21:31,960 You know, I had no problem. 535 00:21:31,961 --> 00:21:34,668 Now, I got you 32 and 30. 536 00:21:34,669 --> 00:21:36,877 - Okay. - What do you wanna start with? 537 00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:38,877 - Eh, 32. - All right. 538 00:21:38,878 --> 00:21:41,543 - Here's the 32. - These look very nice, yeah. 539 00:21:41,544 --> 00:21:43,419 All right. 540 00:21:43,420 --> 00:21:44,919 Oh, okay. 541 00:22:14,919 --> 00:22:16,710 Yeah, he's in the kitchen. 542 00:22:16,711 --> 00:22:18,586 - Look who's here. - Hey. 543 00:22:20,086 --> 00:22:21,918 Oh, for God's sake. 544 00:22:21,919 --> 00:22:23,252 Look at this. 545 00:22:23,253 --> 00:22:25,252 My lace just broke. 546 00:22:25,253 --> 00:22:28,585 You... and you know what, there's no extra laces in the house. 547 00:22:28,586 --> 00:22:30,543 Do you have extra laces in your house? 548 00:22:30,544 --> 00:22:32,127 No, nobody does. 549 00:22:32,128 --> 00:22:33,960 I don't know why people don't stock up on them. 550 00:22:33,961 --> 00:22:35,793 - They stock up on canned food. - Hey, we got a problem. 551 00:22:35,794 --> 00:22:40,127 Marilyn told me she saw you in Neiman Marcus 552 00:22:40,128 --> 00:22:42,960 - push the spritz girl. - Of course I did. 553 00:22:42,961 --> 00:22:44,793 What do you mean of course you did? 554 00:22:44,794 --> 00:22:46,419 I got attacked and I pushed. 555 00:22:46,420 --> 00:22:47,543 You don't push a spritzer lady! 556 00:22:47,544 --> 00:22:49,210 You're out of your fucking mind! 557 00:22:49,211 --> 00:22:50,668 It's a violation! You don't just go up to people 558 00:22:50,669 --> 00:22:52,419 and spritz them in the face like that. 559 00:22:52,420 --> 00:22:53,543 It's a violation. 560 00:22:53,544 --> 00:22:55,751 We have a very big problem now. 561 00:22:55,752 --> 00:22:58,419 Marilyn is not happy with you. 562 00:22:58,420 --> 00:23:00,127 You know what I gotta do now? 563 00:23:00,128 --> 00:23:01,960 I gotta go through and rewind... 564 00:23:01,961 --> 00:23:04,460 Let's hold on to that thought for a minute, okay? 565 00:23:04,461 --> 00:23:05,501 I think I could fix this. 566 00:23:05,502 --> 00:23:07,043 Will you listen to me, please? 567 00:23:07,044 --> 00:23:08,793 - You wet the end... - I don't care about that. 568 00:23:08,794 --> 00:23:10,252 ...and you just do this. 569 00:23:10,253 --> 00:23:11,835 Marilyn said to me 570 00:23:11,836 --> 00:23:13,460 I have to make a choice. 571 00:23:13,461 --> 00:23:15,793 It's either Larry David or Marilyn. 572 00:23:15,794 --> 00:23:17,002 She gave you an ultimatum? 573 00:23:17,003 --> 00:23:19,460 An ultimatum. 574 00:23:19,461 --> 00:23:21,460 - Who'd you pick? - I took Marilyn. 575 00:23:21,461 --> 00:23:23,294 I would've made the same decision. 576 00:23:23,295 --> 00:23:25,210 Let's face it, at this point in our lives, 577 00:23:25,211 --> 00:23:28,043 it's... it's not so easy to find people to have sex with us. 578 00:23:28,044 --> 00:23:30,377 Hey, vagina always wins. 579 00:23:30,378 --> 00:23:32,294 I lost a brother to a vagina. 580 00:23:32,295 --> 00:23:34,793 He's quite a feminist, isn't he? 581 00:23:34,794 --> 00:23:37,127 Vagina got his ass. 582 00:23:37,128 --> 00:23:38,751 Goodbye. 583 00:23:38,752 --> 00:23:40,960 So, if I run into you, are you gonna talk to me 584 00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:43,252 or is this... this is the last words we're ever gonna exchange? 585 00:23:43,253 --> 00:23:45,335 I can't talk to you anymore. I'm gonna miss you. 586 00:23:45,336 --> 00:23:47,335 So, when I see you at the club dinner tomorrow night, 587 00:23:47,336 --> 00:23:49,751 - no communication there whatsoever? - She said to me, 588 00:23:49,752 --> 00:23:52,085 "If you communicate with him, I'm gone." 589 00:23:52,086 --> 00:23:56,127 Oh, hey, LD, that Sophia Loren. 590 00:23:56,128 --> 00:23:57,668 - Whoo! - You saw her movie? 591 00:23:57,669 --> 00:23:59,835 Mm-hmm. "Marriage Italian Style." 592 00:23:59,836 --> 00:24:01,751 - Three times. - I told you, right? 593 00:24:01,752 --> 00:24:03,918 - Gorgeous. - Gorgeous. Fuckin' beautiful. 594 00:24:03,919 --> 00:24:06,335 Yeah. Oh, jeez. 595 00:24:06,336 --> 00:24:07,460 Ugh, my pants are ready. 596 00:24:07,461 --> 00:24:08,960 Now I gotta go see that Rhonda. 597 00:24:08,961 --> 00:24:11,335 - Something up with that girl. - Mm-hmm. 598 00:24:11,336 --> 00:24:13,501 This woman likes me. Lewis's date. 599 00:24:13,502 --> 00:24:15,585 - How do you know? - Well, she was quite taken 600 00:24:15,586 --> 00:24:17,835 with my water stance the other night 601 00:24:17,836 --> 00:24:20,169 and she wouldn't get out of the dressing room 602 00:24:20,170 --> 00:24:22,210 - when I... when I was changing. - She likes you. 603 00:24:22,211 --> 00:24:25,668 Yeah, and I gotta go back there tomorrow to pick up my pants. 604 00:24:25,669 --> 00:24:28,419 - You gonna hit it? - No, I'm a loyal friend. 605 00:24:28,420 --> 00:24:30,210 When women give me an ultimatum, 606 00:24:30,211 --> 00:24:33,543 "Who are you gonna choose, me or your friend?" 607 00:24:33,544 --> 00:24:35,543 I say, "I'm gonna choose my friend." 608 00:24:35,544 --> 00:24:37,668 - That's it. - Why do you have to do this? 609 00:24:37,669 --> 00:24:39,543 You dumped me. You chose somebody over me. 610 00:24:39,544 --> 00:24:40,877 - I didn't dump anyone. - Okay. 611 00:24:40,878 --> 00:24:42,877 I'm trying to say goodbye and end this. 612 00:24:42,878 --> 00:24:44,169 Okay, goodbye. 613 00:24:44,170 --> 00:24:47,294 See ya. See ya, Leon. 614 00:24:47,295 --> 00:24:49,751 - All right, get out. - Don't keep talking. 615 00:24:49,752 --> 00:24:51,419 - You're standing there. - I'm leaving. 616 00:24:51,420 --> 00:24:53,543 - Okay, well, go. - Okay, I'm gonna leave. 617 00:24:53,544 --> 00:24:56,127 - I'm waiting. - We're not playing last word. 618 00:24:56,128 --> 00:24:58,460 - No. - One, two, three. 619 00:24:58,461 --> 00:24:59,711 - Bye. - Bye. 620 00:25:01,044 --> 00:25:03,294 - One, two, three. - Bye... 621 00:25:03,295 --> 00:25:05,626 - "Ay." - No, don't do that. 622 00:25:05,627 --> 00:25:06,544 Goodbye. 623 00:25:13,086 --> 00:25:14,460 - Hey, Larry. - Hey. 624 00:25:14,461 --> 00:25:15,918 I got your pants. You're all paid for. 625 00:25:15,919 --> 00:25:17,501 Oh, great, great. 626 00:25:17,502 --> 00:25:18,710 All right, now we just try them on. 627 00:25:18,711 --> 00:25:21,043 - Come on. - Oh, um, 628 00:25:21,044 --> 00:25:22,710 I... I don't need to try them on. 629 00:25:22,711 --> 00:25:24,877 - I can just, you know. - Larry, you gotta try them on. 630 00:25:24,878 --> 00:25:26,543 They got shortened. We gotta see if they're... 631 00:25:26,544 --> 00:25:28,460 That's not necessary. I'll just take them. 632 00:25:28,461 --> 00:25:30,294 It's just gonna take a minute. We'll be good. 633 00:25:30,295 --> 00:25:31,793 I actually changed my mind about... I didn't want the pants. 634 00:25:31,794 --> 00:25:33,460 These pants look amazing on you. 635 00:25:33,461 --> 00:25:35,626 - Come on. - It's not really necessary. 636 00:25:35,627 --> 00:25:38,420 - I don't need to try on the pants... - Larry, you're trying on pants. 637 00:25:39,544 --> 00:25:40,711 Right. 638 00:25:43,919 --> 00:25:45,918 I think these lay great. 639 00:25:45,919 --> 00:25:48,460 - Do you like that break on your sneaker? - Yeah. Yeah. 640 00:25:48,461 --> 00:25:50,127 I think that looks good. 641 00:25:50,128 --> 00:25:52,127 I think it's pretty... oh, excuse me, I'm sorry. 642 00:25:52,128 --> 00:25:55,086 We have a new tailor. He does amazing work. 643 00:25:58,461 --> 00:26:00,295 I think that looks pretty good. 644 00:26:01,461 --> 00:26:02,836 Yeah, yeah. 645 00:26:04,794 --> 00:26:06,377 And the hem is right. 646 00:26:06,378 --> 00:26:07,794 I think that looks good. 647 00:26:12,295 --> 00:26:13,501 Oh, my God! 648 00:26:13,502 --> 00:26:14,626 - Oh! - Larry! 649 00:26:14,627 --> 00:26:17,127 - Oh! Oh, I'm... no! - Oh! 650 00:26:17,128 --> 00:26:18,793 No! That's not from you. 651 00:26:18,794 --> 00:26:20,626 That... that's from Sophia Loren. 652 00:26:20,627 --> 00:26:22,585 Why was it in my face? 653 00:26:22,586 --> 00:26:25,210 Because it was an accident! It was an accidental erection. 654 00:26:25,211 --> 00:26:26,543 - What? - It was an accident. 655 00:26:26,544 --> 00:26:28,543 No, an accident is tripping on a step, 656 00:26:28,544 --> 00:26:30,793 and then also the Titanic going down. 657 00:26:30,794 --> 00:26:34,543 Yeah, but just the way the Titanic went down, this thing went up. 658 00:26:34,544 --> 00:26:37,668 It's the same, it's the same thing. They're both accidents. 659 00:26:37,669 --> 00:26:40,085 So, you're saying your penis is like the Titanic? 660 00:26:40,086 --> 00:26:42,751 In a manner of speaking, yes. I think they're, they're comparable. 661 00:26:42,752 --> 00:26:45,169 This is... this is really unprofessional. 662 00:26:45,170 --> 00:26:47,252 - I'm very uncomfortable right now. - Oh, this is unprofessional? 663 00:26:47,253 --> 00:26:49,335 You think I'm comfortable when you're standing in the dressing room 664 00:26:49,336 --> 00:26:50,668 when I'm changing my pants? 665 00:26:50,669 --> 00:26:52,543 It's called a concierge service. 666 00:26:52,544 --> 00:26:54,377 I've never heard of that before in my life. 667 00:26:54,378 --> 00:26:56,377 I'd like you to leave, Larry. 668 00:26:56,378 --> 00:26:57,419 - I'll go, yeah. - Yeah. 669 00:26:57,420 --> 00:26:59,169 Okay. May... may I have my pants? 670 00:26:59,170 --> 00:27:00,170 Here. 671 00:27:02,502 --> 00:27:06,377 You know, I gotta say, the waist is a little big. 672 00:27:06,378 --> 00:27:07,835 Get out. 673 00:27:07,836 --> 00:27:10,835 I'll wear them with a belt. I'll put a belt on. 674 00:27:10,836 --> 00:27:13,377 What's the score? 675 00:27:13,378 --> 00:27:14,961 14-7. 676 00:27:18,461 --> 00:27:21,960 This Dr. Winocur I was telling you about? 677 00:27:21,961 --> 00:27:23,501 So, get a load of this. 678 00:27:23,502 --> 00:27:25,877 "Hi, Mrs. Downing, it's Dr. Winocur. 679 00:27:25,878 --> 00:27:28,294 Even though I had to cut my round of golf short, 680 00:27:28,295 --> 00:27:30,210 I'm glad I saw you the other day. 681 00:27:30,211 --> 00:27:33,210 Be sure to take all the medicine as I prescribed it." 682 00:27:33,211 --> 00:27:37,210 - Another accidental... - Text on purpose. 683 00:27:37,211 --> 00:27:38,835 - Wow. Unbelievable. - Unbelievable. 684 00:27:38,836 --> 00:27:40,127 This is some doctor. 685 00:27:40,128 --> 00:27:41,918 They should take this guy's license away. 686 00:27:41,919 --> 00:27:43,877 He was on a plane, there was an emergency, he didn't help out. 687 00:27:43,878 --> 00:27:47,169 Person fucking choking, having pains in their chest, you get the fuck up. 688 00:27:47,170 --> 00:27:49,877 - You've sworn to a Hippocratic Oath. - Sworn to it. Get the fuck up. 689 00:27:49,878 --> 00:27:51,751 Unless they got diarrhea or some shit like that. 690 00:27:51,752 --> 00:27:55,002 If they announced that, "Hey, we've got a passenger who has diarrhea 691 00:27:55,003 --> 00:27:57,085 and it's uncontrollable and it's all over the fucking place," 692 00:27:57,086 --> 00:28:00,377 I can see the person sitting there and, "Actually, fuck that. 693 00:28:00,378 --> 00:28:02,211 I don't feel like dealing with diarrhea right now." 694 00:28:20,878 --> 00:28:22,877 I think you're gonna have a good time. 695 00:28:22,878 --> 00:28:24,585 I hope so. 696 00:28:24,586 --> 00:28:26,419 I like that outfit you wore. I really do. 697 00:28:26,420 --> 00:28:27,295 There's Larry. 698 00:28:33,170 --> 00:28:35,294 Just go inside. Ignore him. Do not give him attention. 699 00:28:35,295 --> 00:28:38,961 Ignore him? That's a 14-foot-long cock. 700 00:28:43,086 --> 00:28:45,002 - Hey, pervert. - Hey. 701 00:28:45,003 --> 00:28:48,918 So you get an erection in the dressing room with Rhonda. 702 00:28:48,919 --> 00:28:51,501 - How lovely. - No, Leon sent me a video of an old 703 00:28:51,502 --> 00:28:54,127 Sophia Loren movie from the '60s, and that's what caused it. 704 00:28:54,128 --> 00:28:55,460 Rhonda had nothing to do with it. 705 00:28:55,461 --> 00:28:57,210 - Leon sent you a movie... - Yes, yeah. 706 00:28:57,211 --> 00:28:58,710 You know how these things happen. 707 00:28:58,711 --> 00:29:01,043 - They... they just occur. - Oh, they just occur? 708 00:29:01,044 --> 00:29:05,127 Just like you drew a giant cock on the side of your car. 709 00:29:05,128 --> 00:29:06,793 He drew a penis on my car? 710 00:29:06,794 --> 00:29:07,960 - Fuckin' A... - My God! 711 00:29:07,961 --> 00:29:09,460 ...it's 12 feet long. 712 00:29:09,461 --> 00:29:11,419 - This guy's unbelievable. - Who? What guy? 713 00:29:11,420 --> 00:29:13,127 I don't know. I'm having a fight with this guy. 714 00:29:13,128 --> 00:29:15,169 He's drawing stuff on my car, messages. 715 00:29:15,170 --> 00:29:16,960 He's telling me to wash it, and... 716 00:29:16,961 --> 00:29:19,002 Oh, I don't know what you're fucking talking about. 717 00:29:19,003 --> 00:29:20,000 Now he drew a penis... 718 00:29:20,001 --> 00:29:21,501 What, did you co-write "Alice in Wonderland"? 719 00:29:21,502 --> 00:29:23,585 - You're a fucking nutcase. - Oh, you think I'm making that up? 720 00:29:23,586 --> 00:29:25,626 You think I go around drawing penises on my car? 721 00:29:25,627 --> 00:29:28,877 - I'd have to be in Bellevue. - She gave me an ultimatum. 722 00:29:28,878 --> 00:29:30,793 It's either you or her. 723 00:29:30,794 --> 00:29:32,501 Funkhouser's girlfriend did the same thing. 724 00:29:32,502 --> 00:29:34,710 I know. Everybody has heard about it, believe me. 725 00:29:34,711 --> 00:29:36,585 Who'd you choose? 726 00:29:36,586 --> 00:29:38,501 - I chose her. - Huh. 727 00:29:38,502 --> 00:29:43,002 So, listen, just stay away from my girlfriend. 728 00:29:43,003 --> 00:29:44,127 Girlfriend? 729 00:29:44,128 --> 00:29:46,210 Oh, dear. Premature girlfriend. 730 00:29:46,211 --> 00:29:48,252 - Oh, no, I know... no, no, no. - Listen, Richard, 731 00:29:48,253 --> 00:29:50,210 you know what, I think we're just looking for other things right now. 732 00:29:50,211 --> 00:29:53,127 I call everybody girlfriend. It's a thing of mine. 733 00:29:53,128 --> 00:29:55,877 Hi, girlfriend. Girlfriend, hi. 734 00:29:55,878 --> 00:29:58,294 Honey! Honey, come on. 735 00:29:58,295 --> 00:30:00,043 - Please, come on. - Oh, this is nice. 736 00:30:00,044 --> 00:30:02,085 Oh, well, well. 737 00:30:02,086 --> 00:30:03,501 - Look who's here. - Hey, Larry. 738 00:30:03,502 --> 00:30:05,085 - You remember Bebe. - Hi. 739 00:30:05,086 --> 00:30:08,085 - Oh, my, hi. Who could forget Bebe? - Good to see you. 740 00:30:08,086 --> 00:30:09,751 We hit it off at baggage claim. 741 00:30:09,752 --> 00:30:11,626 You hit it off at baggage claim. 742 00:30:11,627 --> 00:30:13,710 - What a beautiful story. - Yeah. 743 00:30:13,711 --> 00:30:17,377 By the way, I got that, uh, "accidental text" you sent me. 744 00:30:17,378 --> 00:30:18,668 I didn't send you a text. 745 00:30:18,669 --> 00:30:20,501 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think you know you did. 746 00:30:20,502 --> 00:30:22,918 - Oh, I sent one to Laura Downing. - Oh, yeah. 747 00:30:22,919 --> 00:30:24,877 - Larry David. - David. The Ds. 748 00:30:24,878 --> 00:30:27,419 - Yeah, yeah. - They're very close, they... 749 00:30:27,420 --> 00:30:30,127 Yeah, it was an accident, Larry. Trust me, please. 750 00:30:30,128 --> 00:30:32,043 - And, Bebe... - Mm-hmm. 751 00:30:32,044 --> 00:30:35,668 I would be remiss if I didn't inquire about your condition. 752 00:30:35,669 --> 00:30:37,543 You know, every day is a struggle. 753 00:30:37,544 --> 00:30:40,460 - Mmm. - But today, I'm doing good, thank you. 754 00:30:40,461 --> 00:30:41,586 Good to hear. 755 00:30:43,003 --> 00:30:45,585 Are you sure that was an accidental text? 756 00:30:45,586 --> 00:30:47,128 Yeah, I'm sure. 757 00:30:49,003 --> 00:30:51,585 Are you sure you have a bladder condition? 758 00:30:51,586 --> 00:30:53,544 Yeah, I'm sure. 759 00:31:08,794 --> 00:31:10,128 Okay. 760 00:31:11,794 --> 00:31:13,751 - Come on, Bebe. - Yeah. 761 00:31:13,752 --> 00:31:15,710 Welcome, everyone. 762 00:31:15,711 --> 00:31:17,585 Thank you for coming to celebrate 763 00:31:17,586 --> 00:31:19,918 Tip McDougal's 25 years on the links. 764 00:31:19,919 --> 00:31:21,626 We're gonna start in just a couple minutes, 765 00:31:21,627 --> 00:31:23,626 so, uh, you know, have a drink, 766 00:31:23,627 --> 00:31:25,127 relax, make yourself comfortable. 767 00:31:25,128 --> 00:31:26,793 We'll be back in just a couple. 768 00:31:26,794 --> 00:31:28,210 - Hey, everyone. - Hey! 769 00:31:28,211 --> 00:31:30,127 So, what the fuck with the penis on your car? 770 00:31:30,128 --> 00:31:32,294 I don't know. I think somebody on my block drew it. 771 00:31:32,295 --> 00:31:33,626 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 772 00:31:33,627 --> 00:31:35,127 - That is so inappropriate. - Oh, God. 773 00:31:35,128 --> 00:31:36,294 Hi, Richie. 774 00:31:36,295 --> 00:31:37,543 - Hey. - How you doing? 775 00:31:37,544 --> 00:31:40,294 - Where's Rhonda? - She left. 776 00:31:40,295 --> 00:31:43,043 Huh. You did the premature girlfriend. 777 00:31:43,044 --> 00:31:44,377 You can't say "girlfriend" 778 00:31:44,378 --> 00:31:48,169 until you've dated somebody 12, 15 times. 779 00:31:48,170 --> 00:31:50,835 Yeah. Marilyn, am I right? It's gotta be... 780 00:31:50,836 --> 00:31:53,668 Yeah, yeah. Ah. 781 00:31:53,669 --> 00:31:56,961 Hey, Funk Man, would you, uh... would you mind passing the bread this way? 782 00:31:59,211 --> 00:32:01,252 Would you mind asking Marty to pass the bread? 783 00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:03,668 Marty, please pass me the bread. I'm famished. 784 00:32:03,669 --> 00:32:05,169 Marilyn, just for tonight, 785 00:32:05,170 --> 00:32:07,002 would... could you give him an exemption 786 00:32:07,003 --> 00:32:09,751 from the no-talking rule that you've imposed? 787 00:32:09,752 --> 00:32:10,184 No. 788 00:32:10,185 --> 00:32:12,585 Just for tonight so we can all have some fun. 789 00:32:12,586 --> 00:32:13,668 - No. - We're at the same table... 790 00:32:13,669 --> 00:32:15,336 Exemption denied. 791 00:32:16,961 --> 00:32:18,295 Okay. 792 00:32:20,502 --> 00:32:22,252 Hey, this is fun, huh? 793 00:32:22,253 --> 00:32:23,751 I'm having the time of my life. 794 00:32:23,752 --> 00:32:25,252 This is really a blast. 795 00:32:25,253 --> 00:32:26,835 Too bad we're gonna have to leave early. 796 00:32:26,836 --> 00:32:28,751 I gotta pack. San Francisco. 797 00:32:28,752 --> 00:32:31,543 And Jeff's driving me to the airport, you know. 798 00:32:31,544 --> 00:32:35,751 Think I was gonna buy that bullshit accidental text? 799 00:32:35,752 --> 00:32:38,252 "Oh, I love my wife so much 800 00:32:38,253 --> 00:32:40,169 and... and I'll miss the football game." 801 00:32:40,170 --> 00:32:43,668 You think I bought that "accidental text on purpose"? 802 00:32:43,669 --> 00:32:46,793 What... what is an accidental text on purpose? 803 00:32:46,794 --> 00:32:48,377 You send somebody a text, 804 00:32:48,378 --> 00:32:50,710 pretending it to be to somebody else 805 00:32:50,711 --> 00:32:54,043 so they think they're reading a private text. 806 00:32:54,044 --> 00:32:55,377 But, really, what they're trying to do 807 00:32:55,378 --> 00:32:57,043 is give you the information 808 00:32:57,044 --> 00:32:58,835 that they want to manipulate you with. 809 00:32:58,836 --> 00:33:00,711 - It's bullshit. - Huh. 810 00:33:02,961 --> 00:33:06,877 Did you send me an accidental text on purpose? 811 00:33:06,878 --> 00:33:08,377 Oh... 812 00:33:08,378 --> 00:33:11,544 You did. That was a bullshit text. 813 00:33:11,744 --> 00:33:13,043 I... I don't remember that. 814 00:33:13,044 --> 00:33:14,793 Do you like my water? 815 00:33:14,794 --> 00:33:17,585 I... you know, I really don't... I don't remember doing that. 816 00:33:17,586 --> 00:33:19,752 Do you like my water? 817 00:33:23,627 --> 00:33:26,877 I can't stand your water. 818 00:33:26,878 --> 00:33:29,668 I can't... I don't even know what to say. 819 00:33:29,669 --> 00:33:33,169 It's like I took a straw and put it in a frog's ass. 820 00:33:33,170 --> 00:33:34,751 It makes me sick! 821 00:33:34,752 --> 00:33:36,960 I wanna barf every time I get near it. 822 00:33:36,961 --> 00:33:40,419 I can't stand the smell, I can't stand the color, 823 00:33:40,420 --> 00:33:42,960 and I cannot stand the taste. 824 00:33:42,961 --> 00:33:45,253 I can't take it anymore! 825 00:33:46,669 --> 00:33:49,420 You know what, talk to him all you want. 826 00:33:51,836 --> 00:33:53,793 Wow, you're the only guy at this table 827 00:33:53,794 --> 00:33:55,295 that could hold on to a woman. 828 00:33:57,170 --> 00:34:00,668 Thank you, everyone, for coming tonight 829 00:34:00,669 --> 00:34:04,127 to honor Tip McDougal and his lovely wife, Nancy. 830 00:34:04,128 --> 00:34:08,127 We're losing a beloved member of the Ocean View family. 831 00:34:08,128 --> 00:34:11,460 - Aw. - Tip, we'll miss you. 832 00:34:11,461 --> 00:34:15,210 But in retirement, maybe Tip will finally be able to play some golf. 833 00:34:15,211 --> 00:34:18,419 We had so many great times with Tip 834 00:34:18,420 --> 00:34:20,835 and some rough ones, too. 835 00:34:20,836 --> 00:34:22,961 But he was mostly on the fairway. 836 00:34:24,961 --> 00:34:27,751 I remember one time on the 18th hole, he had knocked... 837 00:34:27,752 --> 00:34:31,419 Larry, I hate to even bother you with this, but I'm on in two minutes. 838 00:34:31,420 --> 00:34:35,127 This guy just took my joke. Can you help me out? 839 00:34:35,128 --> 00:34:37,419 What are you talking about? This is a comedy emergency. 840 00:34:37,420 --> 00:34:40,419 - I'm off duty. - Why won't you help me? 841 00:34:40,420 --> 00:34:42,501 You didn't heed the call on the plane. 842 00:34:42,502 --> 00:34:44,252 You welched on a $200 bet. 843 00:34:44,253 --> 00:34:46,294 You sent me an accidental text on purpose. 844 00:34:46,295 --> 00:34:48,793 I invented the accidental text, okay? 845 00:34:48,794 --> 00:34:51,170 Yeah, go back to your table. Get out. Go back. 846 00:34:53,669 --> 00:34:55,002 And, you... 847 00:34:55,003 --> 00:34:56,335 You've been drinking water all night, 848 00:34:56,336 --> 00:34:57,751 haven't made one trip to the bathroom. 849 00:34:57,752 --> 00:34:59,294 Not one trip. I've been clocking you. 850 00:34:59,295 --> 00:35:01,877 Sir. Sir! I have a condition. 851 00:35:01,878 --> 00:35:03,835 Yeah, you have a condition, all right. 852 00:35:03,836 --> 00:35:06,335 You're a psychopath who uses a weak bladder to take advantage of people. 853 00:35:06,336 --> 00:35:09,460 But first, the funniest doc on the links, 854 00:35:09,461 --> 00:35:13,003 Dr. Nathan Winocur. 855 00:35:14,295 --> 00:35:16,252 Come on up here. 856 00:35:16,253 --> 00:35:17,669 You're gonna love this guy. 857 00:35:34,502 --> 00:35:35,419 Larry. 858 00:35:35,420 --> 00:35:38,294 Hey. It's Dave. 859 00:35:38,295 --> 00:35:40,294 - Oh! Hey. - Three houses down. 860 00:35:40,295 --> 00:35:41,877 - How are you? - Yeah, yeah, good, good. 861 00:35:41,878 --> 00:35:43,626 It's really good to see you here, Larry. 862 00:35:43,627 --> 00:35:45,085 Yeah, good... good to see you. 863 00:35:45,086 --> 00:35:47,543 Yeah. I love the car wash. 864 00:35:47,544 --> 00:35:49,501 - Oh, my God, yeah. - Right? 865 00:35:49,502 --> 00:35:52,210 It's just endlessly fascinating, you know? 866 00:35:52,211 --> 00:35:53,877 It comes down on a conveyer, 867 00:35:53,878 --> 00:35:55,877 the brushes, the water. 868 00:35:55,878 --> 00:35:57,668 - You feel like you wanna go through it. - That's right. 869 00:35:57,669 --> 00:35:59,252 - You know? - That's exactly right. 870 00:35:59,253 --> 00:36:02,877 I look at a dirty car, Larry, and I feel sorry for it. 871 00:36:02,878 --> 00:36:05,043 It's almost like it's screaming out, 872 00:36:05,044 --> 00:36:06,711 "Wash me! 873 00:36:08,044 --> 00:36:10,002 Wash me." 874 00:36:10,003 --> 00:36:12,086 - Good to see you, Larry. - Yeah. 875 00:37:38,178 --> 00:37:42,460 Namaste means "the light within me greets the light within you." 876 00:37:42,461 --> 00:37:44,794 There is no light within me. That's the only problem there. 877 00:37:46,086 --> 00:37:47,501 Kinda took a gamble picking you up... 878 00:37:47,502 --> 00:37:50,252 - with that one-star rating. - I'm not one-star. I'm a five. 879 00:37:50,253 --> 00:37:51,835 Uber says you're a one, buddy. 880 00:37:51,836 --> 00:37:52,711 - What? - Yeah. 881 00:37:53,003 --> 00:37:54,377 - One-star Larry is really... - Ah, okay. 882 00:37:54,378 --> 00:37:56,127 - ...really not a popular guy. - Yeah, all right. Okay. 883 00:37:56,128 --> 00:37:57,751 I have a friend who asked as a favor 884 00:37:57,752 --> 00:37:59,960 - if I could set her up with you. - She good looking? 885 00:37:59,961 --> 00:38:01,626 - Bridgette? Beautiful. - Really? 886 00:38:01,627 --> 00:38:03,794 Not only is she a beautiful woman... 887 00:38:04,044 --> 00:38:05,295 but more important... 888 00:38:05,794 --> 00:38:08,295 - Inner beauty. - That I'm not interested in.