1 00:00:03,045 --> 00:00:05,214 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:10,469 Let me ask you something. You happy with your color? 3 00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:12,971 Fuckin' love my color. Fuckin' mahogany. 4 00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:14,640 ‐Yeah. You're mahogany. ‐Yeah. 5 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:15,766 Hell, yeah. 6 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,684 ‐You happy with your color? ‐No. 7 00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:20,229 ‐Huh? No? ‐Ah, well, what is it? What is it? 8 00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:22,189 You're like a... a porridge, 9 00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:24,816 a cream of wheat, a farina, that kind of shit. 10 00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:26,818 ‐That's what white people's skin tone is. ‐Right. 11 00:00:26,902 --> 00:00:28,987 ‐It's just different kinds of hot cereal. ‐Right, right. 12 00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:31,281 Black people, your skin tone's like, 13 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,408 it depends on the amount of milk you put in the coffee. 14 00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:35,577 Fuckin' right. I'm like a fuckin' Yoo‐hoo. 15 00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:38,455 ‐I shake that motherfucker up. I'm shakin' it up. ‐Yoo‐hoo's a good color. 16 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,457 ‐Fuckin' good color. Shit. ‐Yeah, Yoo‐hoo's a really good color. 17 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,501 ‐Yeah. ‐(laughing) 18 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:43,835 ‐(clanks) ‐What? 19 00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:45,337 There you go. 20 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:46,672 ‐(clatters) ‐Somewhere between‐‐ 21 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,257 ‐Wait, excuse me? ‐What the‐‐ what the fuck? 22 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:50,217 ♪ 23 00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:54,763 Hey. Larry. 24 00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:56,890 ‐Randi. Yeah. ‐You got it. 25 00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:59,935 ‐I'm a friend of Susie's. ‐I know, I know, I know. Yeah. 26 00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:01,228 Happy New Year. 27 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:02,312 Eh. 28 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,689 It's a little late, frankly, 29 00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,190 for the "Happy New Years," you know? 30 00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:07,484 Why? It just happened a couple of weeks ago, right? 31 00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:08,402 Yeah, that's too long. 32 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,195 The statute of limitations 33 00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:12,072 has kind of run out on the "New Years." 34 00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,533 ‐Three days. Plenty. ‐Three days? 35 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,868 By the way, everything doesn't have to be happy. 36 00:01:16,952 --> 00:01:18,537 Why does everything have to be happy? 37 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:21,290 ‐I'm having a pretty good day. ‐Yeah. Look at you. 38 00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:23,375 ‐That's, that's huge. ‐Yeah, I'm about eight months. 39 00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:26,628 If you need some name tips, I'm your guy. 40 00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:28,422 ‐Yeah. ‐What would you suggest? 41 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:30,591 Maybe something, uh, Swedish, perhaps? 42 00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:32,759 Yeah, I'm... my husband is African‐American, 43 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:35,470 so I'm not sure that would, I don't know, gel. 44 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:37,973 You like saying that, don't you. 45 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:40,892 ‐Do I like saying that he's African‐American? ‐Yeah. 46 00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:42,477 I think you wanted me to know. 47 00:01:42,561 --> 00:01:44,229 Does it change your opinion of me? 48 00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:47,065 In some ways, yes. In some ways, no. 49 00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:48,442 ‐Okay. ‐All right. 50 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,694 Enjoy your workout. 51 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,822 (beeping) 52 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:58,619 (beeping continues) 53 00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:05,292 What are you doing? 54 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,419 What? 55 00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,713 What's with the‐‐ What's with the jogging? 56 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:12,132 I'm... I'm working out. 57 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,176 ‐Working out? ‐Yeah. 58 00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:16,887 You, you're jostling the fetus. 59 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:19,765 You can't‐‐ You can't run in your condition. 60 00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:21,642 Uh, yes, I can. 61 00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:22,976 I was advised by my midwife 62 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,603 that I should continue to work out. 63 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,438 Maybe you want to consult your blacksmith. 64 00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:27,981 See what he has to say about it. 65 00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:31,401 Oh, I don't, uh, want to get into it with you, but, um... 66 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,945 my fetus, my problem, okay? 67 00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:37,074 ‐I pity that fetus. ‐(machine beeping) 68 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,242 Larry: Oh, my God. I can't watch this. 69 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:44,164 ‐Happy New Year. ‐Yeah, Happy New Year. 70 00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:50,670 (slapping) 71 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:58,512 ‐(slapping) ‐Hey, hey, hey. Come on. Come on, man. 72 00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:01,765 ‐You gotta stay dry. ‐You're over‐talcing here. 73 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,600 ‐Ugh! ‐Happy New Year. 74 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:04,810 Yeah, yeah. 75 00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,686 ‐I couldn't even breathe in there. ‐Right. 76 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:09,689 He was putting talc under his arm, 77 00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:12,484 ‐on his balls... It was disgusting. ‐(laughing) 78 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:15,445 ‐I mean, who still uses that? ‐I use that shit all the time. 79 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:19,157 ‐Can't be good for you. ‐Not if you're allergic to it. 80 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:20,909 My Auntie Rey put some of that shit on her, 81 00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:22,494 and went into anaphylactic shock. 82 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:24,913 ‐Really? ‐Yeah. Started shakin' and shit. Took her to the ER. 83 00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:27,791 ‐Man, they had to pump her stomach for nothing. ‐That's incredible. 84 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,251 Yeah, man. 85 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,753 ‐Look at this guy in the MAGA hat. ‐Boy. You don't see... 86 00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:35,006 ‐You don't see many of those in LA, do you? ‐You fuckin' don't. 87 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:38,176 Know what I noticed? No one ever wears those hats on backwards. 88 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,595 If mean, if you're gonna get your ass kicked, you want to see it coming. 89 00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:42,097 ‐(chuckles) ‐I like that. 90 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:45,100 ‐Yeah. ‐Mocha‐‐ Mocha Joe's 91 00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:46,768 Mocha Joe. I know a Mocha Joe. 92 00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:48,729 ‐You want some coffee? ‐Sure. Okay. 93 00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:50,397 ‐Let's go in here. ‐Get a little latte. 94 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,274 ‐Thank you so much. I appreciate it. ‐Thank you. 95 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:53,525 Have a great day. 96 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:56,862 ‐Whoa! Blast from the past. ‐Oh, boy, oh, boy. 97 00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,613 ‐Larry David. Wow. ‐Mocha Joe! 98 00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,991 ‐Long time, no see, man. What are you doin' here? ‐Hey! 99 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,284 ‐What's your name? ‐Leon. 100 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,202 ‐Leon. Nice to meet you. ‐This is unreal. 101 00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:06,079 Do you believe it? Huh? What can I get you guys? 102 00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,622 I'll get a‐‐ Do you have scones? 103 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,082 Yeah. Right there. They're beautiful. 104 00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:11,001 Great. I'll have a scone, and a, uh, cup of coffee. 105 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,628 ‐Cup of coffee and a scone. What about you, Leon? ‐Let me get a latte. 106 00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,922 All right. One scone, a coffee, a latte. 107 00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:17,507 That's $11.50. 108 00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:19,509 There you go. Keep the change. 109 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,136 Oh, thanks for the tip. Appreciate it. 110 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:25,098 Mocha Joe: A latte and a coffee, please. Thank you. 111 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:26,349 Mm. 112 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,518 It's a little soft. 113 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,437 What, the scone? 114 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,607 Yeah. Scones are supposed to be hard. This is like a muffin. 115 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:37,319 Well, not really. It's supposed to be fresh. 116 00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:38,862 Yeah, fresh hard. 117 00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,739 Well, that's a fresh scone. 118 00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:43,366 I'm not quite sure you know what a scone is, Mocha Joe. 119 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,243 ‐Oh, I know what a scone is. ‐Larry: Do you? 120 00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:48,205 ‐Yeah. ‐You may have a looser definition of scone than I do. 121 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:51,208 I don't think it's really open to interpretation, though. 122 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,960 You want the scone, or not? 123 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:55,837 Yeah, I'll keep the scone‐slash‐muffin. 124 00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:58,965 ‐So you're gonna keep the scone? ‐Yeah. Muffin. Yeah. 125 00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,425 Enjoy the scone, Larry. 126 00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:03,303 ‐Hey, you got any Danishes? ‐Uh, no. 127 00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:05,722 You're fuckin' up. 128 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,808 Mocha Joe: (sighs) Next. 129 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,935 (sighs) 130 00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:12,229 ‐Oh, my God. ‐(table squeaking) 131 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,023 ‐Look at this table. Do you believe it? ‐Wow. 132 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:18,026 ‐Wow. ‐Hey, uh, hey, Mocha Joe. 133 00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:19,444 Mocha Joe: Yeah? 134 00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:22,113 ‐Check out this table. ‐Yeah? 135 00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:24,449 (chuckles) It's a wobb‐‐ You got a wobbly table, here. 136 00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:25,867 Yeah, well, stop moving it. 137 00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:28,995 Stop moving it? It's‐‐ Every time I, I, I lean on it, 138 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,789 ‐it's gonna move. ‐Put your foot on it, like everybody else does. 139 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,666 I'm gonna sit with my foot on the table? 140 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:34,668 Yeah, that's how you hold it down. The floors are wobbly. 141 00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:37,379 ‐Mocha Joe, can I give you a little advice? ‐Yeah. 142 00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:39,589 Nobody likes a wobbly table. 143 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:42,425 Fastest way to lose customers is wobbly tables. 144 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,302 I got an uncle with a wobbly leg. 145 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:46,263 I can't stand that motherfucker. 146 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,265 Leaning on shit all the time. 147 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:51,142 ‐Hmm. ‐Barista: Two medium cappuccinos. 148 00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:53,645 (gulps) Aah. (scoffs) 149 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:56,273 Larry: Taste your coffee. 150 00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,024 ‐Cold. ‐It's cold. 151 00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,067 Hey, man. 152 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:00,485 ‐Yeah. ‐Larry: Hey, Mocha Joe. 153 00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,571 ‐What? ‐(laughs softly) 154 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,823 This is cold coffee. 155 00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:06,533 Whoa, whoa. Wait a second. 156 00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,660 That coffee is not cold. 157 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:10,328 ‐Is your coffee cold? ‐Your coffee's hot, right? 158 00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:12,163 Look, we don't wanna be fuckin' haters right now, 159 00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:13,415 but this shit is cold. 160 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:15,125 Can, can I get a n‐‐ 161 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,960 ‐Can I get a new cup? ‐No. 162 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,253 ‐So you're not gonna give me a new cup. ‐No. 163 00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:19,963 'Cause that's a hot cup of coffee. 164 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,840 ‐It was hot when I gave it to you‐‐ ‐That's a hot cup of coffee? 165 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,675 It's a hot cup of coffee. It was hot when I gave it to you. 166 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,510 Would you stick your nose in a hot cup of coffee? 167 00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:26,678 Why would you stick your nose‐‐ 168 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,013 Because I want to prove to you 169 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,432 that it's cold coffee. Watch this. 170 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:32,851 That's cold coffee. 171 00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,352 ‐That doesn't prove anything except... ‐It does. 172 00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:37,272 ...that you're an old, bald nut! 173 00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:39,149 ‐What'd you say to me? ‐You heard me. 174 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,443 ‐Now get out, you old, bald fuck! ‐With pleasure! 175 00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:43,778 You think I want to sit here with a wobbly table, 176 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,488 ‐and drink cold black coffee? ‐Yeah. 177 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,407 ‐No, thank you. ‐Yeah, good. Get out. 178 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:50,493 Hey. Larry might be one or two of those things, but not all three. 179 00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,078 Happy New Year, Larry. 180 00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:54,581 Happy New Year, Mocha Joe! 181 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:57,167 ♪ ♪ 182 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,509 (collar jingling) 183 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,895 Alice: Morning, Larry. How are you? 184 00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:19,939 ‐Your dog? ‐Bogey! 185 00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,399 He's eating out of my bowl. 186 00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,652 Oh, I just got that bowl from the kitchen. 187 00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,362 I thought it was an office bowl. 188 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,988 It's an office bowl for humans. 189 00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:28,239 Not for dogs. 190 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:30,450 I mean, I wash it at the end of the day 191 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,577 ‐with soap, and then I dry it, and‐‐ ‐No, that's not enough. 192 00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:35,080 It needs to be sterilized. I can't, I can't... 193 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,290 share a bowl with a dog. 194 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:38,750 (chuckles uncomfortably) 195 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,711 ‐Uh, I've got some mail for you. ‐Ah! 196 00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:46,049 ‐And there's some other stuff. ‐Wait a second. Wait a second. 197 00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:47,926 ‐Look at this. ‐Yeah. 198 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,594 ‐Is that new? ‐Relatively. 199 00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:52,681 All right, what‐‐ What the hell is that? Why is one eye closed? 200 00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:54,015 Huh? What is all that? 201 00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:56,101 Oh, well, it's kind of personal. I don't‐‐ 202 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:57,602 I don't share it with everybody. 203 00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,187 Yeah, it's very personal. 204 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:01,147 The whole world can see it, but it's personal. 205 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:02,899 ‐Well, it's on my body. ‐Okay, okay. 206 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,526 Hey, let me ask you something, okay? 207 00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,444 If I walked in here with a horn on my head, 208 00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:08,154 would you say, "What are you doing with a horn on your head?" 209 00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:10,323 I'd say, "Oh, I can't tell you. It's personal." 210 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:13,076 I got the tattoo because of an event in my life, 211 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:14,953 and it means something special to me. 212 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:16,287 It's a reminder of that to me. 213 00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:18,373 ‐It's just for me. ‐Really? 214 00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:21,334 Then why didn't you put it on your ass? 215 00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:25,797 I have something from the business manager that you need to sign. 216 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,757 Ah. All right. 217 00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:30,885 ‐Okay. ‐Uh, it's just... 218 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:33,179 There's an initial, and a date, 219 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,765 and I think three signatures. 220 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:37,976 May I? 221 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,311 Oh, what are you doing? That's my shirt. 222 00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:42,272 Well, I was... cleaning my glasses. 223 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:45,066 You can't clean your glasses with a shirt that I'm wearing 224 00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,276 while I'm wearing it. 225 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,820 It's inappropriate. It's crossing a boundary. 226 00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:51,489 ‐No good? ‐No good. 227 00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:53,324 Hmm. (pops lips) Okay. 228 00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:54,909 ♪ 229 00:08:57,412 --> 00:09:00,415 (party chatter) 230 00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:04,252 I know. Susie loves this house even more than her last one. 231 00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:06,171 Well, the last one stunk. 232 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,173 Cheryl: It was too big. 233 00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:12,177 And he called me, uh... He called me old and bald. 234 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:13,762 ‐What? ‐I swear to God. 235 00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:15,221 You know, I'll tell you something. I love coffee, 236 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:17,348 and I love his coffee, but you're one of my old‐‐ 237 00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:18,933 You are my oldest friend. 238 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:20,769 I'm gonna boycott that place. 239 00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:22,896 ‐You're gonna boycott Mocha Joe's? ‐I'm boycotting. 240 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,647 ‐Hey! ‐Jeff: How about that? 241 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:27,233 ‐I'm boycotting Mocha Joe. You can't do that to my friend. ‐Larry: Hey. 242 00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,069 ‐Look at this guy. Look at this guy. ‐That's a friend. 243 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:30,487 We were in the same hospital together. 244 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,489 ‐He can't fuck with my friend. ‐All right! 245 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,574 ‐I'm gonna get some coffee. ‐Larry: Okay. 246 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,367 Enjoy your coffee. 247 00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:38,703 ‐He's boycotting. ‐He's boycotting. That's a big move. 248 00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:41,039 ‐Jeff: That's a big move, a boycott. ‐Oh, my God. 249 00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,708 Who invited you? You pig. 250 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,294 No, uh, Nancy, that is not Harvey Weinstein. 251 00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:49,422 ‐I'm so sorry, Jeff. My sister's from out of town. ‐Jeff: Oh! 252 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,382 ‐I'm just, I'm really sorry. ‐Oh, my God. Oh, I'm so‐‐ 253 00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:53,968 ‐Jeff: I'm the host of the party. ‐Oh, my God! I'm so sorry. 254 00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:55,553 Yes, I'm not Harvey Weinstein. 255 00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:57,555 ‐I'm sorry. Thank you. I'm sorry. ‐Jeff: Okay. 256 00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,724 (whispers): He looks like Harvey Weinstein. He looks just like him. 257 00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:02,227 ‐What the hell? ‐Okay. 258 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:06,523 All the time, women, men‐‐ doesn't matter. 259 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,691 ‐Larry: Geez. ‐And suddenly, I'm this guy. 260 00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:11,027 ‐Unbelievable. ‐Unbelievable. 261 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:14,572 I'm starving. Oh! Pigs in a blanket. 262 00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,241 ‐What's better? ‐Oh... 263 00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:19,494 I've been following her around all night, but she never has any. 264 00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:20,912 Jeff: They go fast. 265 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:23,414 I don't care how foo‐foo the other items are, 266 00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:25,750 ‐and people love 'em, pigs in a blanket. ‐Yeah. 267 00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:29,337 Larry, I am extremely displeased with your behavior. 268 00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,089 Ladies and gentlemen, 269 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:34,425 the 16th president of these United States... 270 00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:36,427 ‐Yeah, yeah. You're funny. ‐...Abraham Lincoln. 271 00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:38,096 Let's give him a big round of applause. 272 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,515 ‐Like you know anything about fashion. ‐It is such an honor 273 00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:43,059 to be standing near you, Mr. President. 274 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:46,437 This hat is very similar to the one that Kate Middleton wore. 275 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,690 ‐Okay? You don't know shit. ‐Oh, really? 276 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,859 ‐I know you look ridiculous. How about that? ‐Yeah. Yeah, fine. 277 00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:54,737 You act ridiculous. Why are you harassing my friend Randi at the gym? 278 00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:57,574 Hey, you know what? Somebody has to stand up for that fetus. 279 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,992 You don't know anything about fetuses. 280 00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:00,743 I know you don't go on a treadmill 281 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,453 eight months pregnant. You don't have to be a genius 282 00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:04,205 ‐to figure that out. ‐Why not? Why not? 283 00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,999 Do you think that's good for fetus? All that jostling? 284 00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:09,460 It's not your job to mansplain to Randi! 285 00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:11,254 ‐Jeff, there's people I want you to meet. ‐Okay. 286 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,965 "Four score and seven years ago, 287 00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:17,343 "our fathers brought forth to this continent 288 00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:18,845 "a new nation, 289 00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,722 "conceived in liberty, 290 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,724 ‐dedicated..." ‐Larry, Happy New Year. 291 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,225 You're too late. 292 00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:26,060 "Happy New Year." Come on. It's three weeks. 293 00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:28,438 ‐Isn't it almost a month already? ‐It's ridiculous. 294 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,690 Ah, look, well, they have nothing to say, these people. 295 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:34,235 ‐Oh, man. ‐How do you know it's a happy new year, anyway? 296 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,905 ‐I can't believe it. ‐What? 297 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,325 Aw, I missed 'em again. It's unbelievable. 298 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:42,368 Hey, Larry! Hey! 299 00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:43,578 ‐Hey. ‐How you been? 300 00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:45,163 ‐Good. ‐Yeah, great to see you. 301 00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:46,623 Shit. That's Rosen‐‐ 302 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:47,874 ‐Phil Rosenthal. ‐Phil Rosenthal. 303 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,834 He just talks about his shows all the time. 304 00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:53,379 His own show, and how about‐‐ Romano is on 500 times a day. 305 00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:54,839 Somebody Feed Phil. 306 00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,175 Oh, geez, with all the chaos in the world, 307 00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,885 in third‐world countries, feed him? 308 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,178 He should be feeding other people. 309 00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:02,013 It should be called Phil Feeds Everybody. 310 00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:04,515 ‐You know what I'm gonna do with him tonight? ‐What's that? 311 00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:06,476 The Big Goodbye. 312 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,186 I'm employing The Big Goodbye. 313 00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:10,521 ‐It's the greatest move in history. ‐How great is The Big Goodbye? 314 00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:12,440 I've been doing it for years, since you taught me. 315 00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,025 ‐You avoid the person all night... ‐Of course. 316 00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:16,069 And then at the end, when you're about to leave, 317 00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:18,029 you go, "Ah!" You give 'em a big goodbye. 318 00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:21,658 ‐Then they feel good... ‐Bye! Goodbye and good luck to you and your family. 319 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,202 They're very happy that you spent this time with them 320 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:25,703 at the end of the night, and... 321 00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:27,705 ‐and you slip out. ‐It's genius. 322 00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:30,750 Um, are you up for doing our old ventriloquist act? 323 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,877 ‐I don't know. Susie wants to see it. ‐Yeah, I'll do it. 324 00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,003 ‐You will? ‐Yeah. 325 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,338 Okay, good. Can we do it pretty soon? 326 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:36,798 Because I want Ted to see it before he leaves. 327 00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,675 ‐Of course. ‐Thank you. 328 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:40,969 Ted. 329 00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,804 ‐(all laughing) ‐I'd like to thank Jeff and Susie 330 00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:45,890 ‐for inviting us into their beautiful home. ‐I like the other one. 331 00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,767 (crowd laughing) 332 00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,852 Well, I think the house is very nice. 333 00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:52,438 ‐(laughs) ‐(crowd laughing) 334 00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:55,692 Did they throw that fish smell in for free? 335 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,861 (laughing) 336 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:02,615 And, and, and look at all our other friends who are kind enough to join us. 337 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:06,619 ‐There's, there's Ted Danson. ‐Wow, is he handsome! 338 00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:08,246 He sure thinks so. 339 00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,957 ‐Oh! ‐(laughing) 340 00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:13,918 And how about Susie, our inimitable hostess? 341 00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:16,754 ‐(clapping) ‐Susie, I love the curtains, 342 00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:18,840 but why did you make a jacket out of it? 343 00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:21,926 ‐Crowd: Oh! ‐(raucous laughter) 344 00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:24,762 ‐Are you having a good time? ‐A good time? Are you kidding me? 345 00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:28,433 I'm with a bunch of stiffs, the food sucks, the drinks aren't strong enough, 346 00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:29,600 and your hand is up my ass. 347 00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:31,853 (laughing) 348 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:35,440 (laughing): Hey. Don't look so down. 349 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,567 (laughing) 350 00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:39,902 Are you mad? 351 00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,488 ‐Let's kiss and make up. ‐I'm... 352 00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:46,743 ‐I'm not gonna kiss a dummy. ‐I wouldn't. She's got a cold. 353 00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:50,079 Aw. That's the end! 354 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,956 ‐(applause, laughter) ‐Jeff: Bravo! 355 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,417 Bravo! Cheryl and Larry. 356 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,420 ‐Cheryl and Larry. ‐(cheers, whistles) 357 00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,714 What a great audience. Thank you. Thank you. 358 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:03,176 ‐Fantastic. Thank you all for coming. ‐Susie: I love that bit. 359 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,511 ‐Thanks for coming. ‐Susie: Always loved that bit. 360 00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:08,306 ‐You were very funny. ‐Thank you. 361 00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,892 ‐I'm sorry, but I gotta catch my plane. ‐Okay. 362 00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:13,478 Actually, you know what, I better not. I don't wanna catch a cold. 363 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,313 ‐Cheryl: Oh, I know. You gotta stay... ‐I'm sorry. Yeah. 364 00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,398 ‐I'll call you when I land. ‐...healthy. Okay. 365 00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:18,900 You don't need to call her when you land. 366 00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:21,069 If there's a plane crash, we'll know about it. 367 00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:23,196 ‐Okay. I'll walk you, Ted. ‐Thank you, guys. 368 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,531 ‐Susie: Thank you for coming. ‐Ted: That was a great evening. 369 00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:27,742 ♪ 370 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,502 Ah! There you are. Finally gotcha. 371 00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,420 Sir, I need you to get out of here. 372 00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,172 Get out of here? What are you talking about? 373 00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:44,008 I need you to leave this room 'cause you've been ogling me... 374 00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:46,135 ‐the entire night. ‐Ogling you? Are you nuts? 375 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,805 ‐I, I, I've been ogling the pigs in a blanket. ‐Am I‐‐ 376 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,348 Oh, my God. Yeah. 377 00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:53,267 ‐Not the first time this has happened. ‐What? I want one. 378 00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,279 Wow. 379 00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:08,866 ‐Ah. Hey. ‐Hey. Excuse me. 380 00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:10,868 ‐Huh? Were we a hit? ‐We were a hit. 381 00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:13,830 ‐We were the highlight of this party. ‐Highlight of the party. 382 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,791 Yeah, I mean, it's a been a while, but we've still got it. 383 00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:19,210 ‐What are‐‐ What are you doing? ‐I'm gonna go home. 384 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:21,212 ‐I'm just getting an Uber. ‐Uber? 385 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:23,756 ‐I'll take you home. ‐You don't have to do that. 386 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,216 Ah, it's nothing. 387 00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:28,136 ‐Okay. Okay. Thank you. That's‐‐ ‐Um, just give me... 388 00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:29,595 Give me two minutes. 389 00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:31,931 Okay. All right. Thanks. 390 00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,267 Are you kidding? 391 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:37,311 I can't believe I didn't get a chance to talk to you all night, 392 00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:38,938 and now I'm on my way out. 393 00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:41,649 ‐What a shame. ‐You giving me The Big Goodbye? 394 00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:43,943 ‐The Big Goodbye? What are you‐‐ What are you talking about? ‐Big Goodbye. 395 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,487 Where you avoid me all night, and then you think you can 396 00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:48,823 cure it by having a Big Goodbye. I know. I've been around. 397 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:51,701 ‐I wasn't giving you a Big‐‐ I never heard of the Big Goodbye. ‐It seems like a Big Goodbye. 398 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,786 No, it wasn't. It was just a normal goodbye. 399 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,454 ‐That's a normal goodbye. ‐Yeah? 400 00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:56,706 ‐Yeah. ‐Really? 401 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:57,915 Yeah. I wasn't trying to avoid you. 402 00:15:57,999 --> 00:15:59,500 Are you kidding? Why would I avoid you? 403 00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:01,127 Have lunch with me Wednesday? 404 00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,254 We have a lot to talk about. Listen, 405 00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,298 we're doing Raymond in Portugal. 406 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,800 Yeah. Everybody Loves Joam. 407 00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:09,927 It's fantastic. I get to go. 408 00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:11,804 And then I have the whole Somebody Feed Phil show. 409 00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:14,640 I want you to do my show. I want to go to Ethiopia with you. 410 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:16,767 ‐(chuckles) Ethiopia. ‐Ethiopia's great. 411 00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:18,436 I don't think I'm running off to Ethiopia‐‐ 412 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:19,937 Sure, you eat with your hands. It's fantastic. 413 00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:21,439 ‐Everybody shares, and, and the thing‐‐ ‐I... I... 414 00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:23,232 ‐I don't like to leave the continent, you know. ‐No? 415 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:24,609 ‐Nah. ‐All right. You know what? 416 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,444 We'll start lunch Wednesday. We'll see where it goes. 417 00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,905 Say yes to me and you can go. 418 00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:31,365 ‐Okay. ‐Okay. 419 00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,867 Larry: You know, did I ever tell you 420 00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:35,369 that I once did a, uh, premature Big Goodbye? 421 00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:37,622 So what does that mean? You said goodbye and then you didn't leave? 422 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,874 ‐I did a Big Goodbye and then I didn't‐‐ ‐Come on. 423 00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:42,793 ‐And I didn't leave. ‐And what did they do? They were mad? 424 00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:45,630 ‐I ran into her in the kitchen about an hour later. ‐Come on. 425 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:48,424 And what do you say? What do you even say? 426 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,635 She said, "I thought you left." I said, "Well, you know. 427 00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:53,596 I got, uh... something happened." I don't know. 428 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,264 I made up a story. 429 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,934 I, but I, I can't believe that... 430 00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,477 that he knew about the Big Goodbye. 431 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,229 ‐(laughing) ‐That was unbelievable to me. 432 00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:04,106 Well, I can't believe that you kissed me when you knew I had a cold. 433 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,816 That was pretty unbelievable. 434 00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:08,069 Yeah. You... 435 00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:11,239 I would do it again. 436 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,291 (sighs) 437 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,052 Cheryl: Wow, Larry. 438 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,096 What are we doing? 439 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,015 By the way, before we get into that, 440 00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:40,184 are you aware that you have a wobbly table here? 441 00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:43,521 Look at this. Look at this table. It's unbelievable. 442 00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:46,774 ‐I, I don't know how you can go to bed at night. ‐Yeah, it doesn't bother me. 443 00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:48,734 If all tables in your house wobbled, 444 00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:50,945 you could live like that? You could in a wobble‐house? 445 00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:55,116 We need to talk about Ted. We need to talk about everything that just happened here. 446 00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:57,034 ‐What? ‐What? 447 00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:59,161 ‐What are you so... ‐Oh... 448 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,746 I'm, I'm your ex‐husband. 449 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,999 Ted is such a good person. 450 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,459 No, he's not such a good person, okay? 451 00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:08,170 You don't do that. You don't date a friend's ex‐wife. 452 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,047 I mean, it's crazy. 453 00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:13,092 ‐You know what it is? ‐Now... what? 454 00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:16,887 I think when I'm with you, it makes me feel... 455 00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,890 ‐...better about myself? ‐Morally superior. 456 00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:21,309 ‐Yes. ‐Yes. 457 00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:23,060 ‐I hear that a lot. Yeah. ‐Yeah. So, I'm not perfect, 458 00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:25,730 ‐but at least I'm better than you. ‐You're better than me. 459 00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:27,148 I can relate to what you're saying, 460 00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:29,317 'cause I don't, I don't feel that way with people. 461 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,653 ‐I feel morally inferior to people. ‐Yeah. 462 00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:35,906 But I feel that way with animals 'cause they're generally so stupid, 463 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:38,826 and I can‐‐ especially insects, I can crush them. 464 00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:41,078 You know, and, and they eat each other. 465 00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:43,623 I mean, they're crazy, animals. So, yeah. 466 00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:46,083 I feel smarter and morally superior to them. 467 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:47,752 (both laugh) 468 00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:51,339 ‐Hey. Uh... Let me ask you something. ‐Yeah? 469 00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,508 Is there any chance that... 470 00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:58,054 we might meet up again? 471 00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:00,556 We'll see. 472 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:01,891 We'll see. 473 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,186 ‐You can't stay here. ‐I'm gonna tell you something, okay? 474 00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:07,271 ‐If we ever got back together... ‐Yeah. 475 00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:10,775 ...and somehow this table appeared on, on our bedside... 476 00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:13,778 ‐Yeah? ‐...it would be fixed immediately. 477 00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,738 ‐Immediately. ‐Oh, my God. 478 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,658 ‐Larry: I could not live with a wobbly table. ‐Cheryl: Larry, please. 479 00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:20,201 ‐Go. ‐Larry: Okay. 480 00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:25,998 Ha‐ha! 481 00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:27,625 ‐What? ‐Where the fuck you been at? 482 00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,460 ‐What are you? My mother? ‐Fuck yeah, I am. 483 00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:31,629 All right, I was at a party, okay? I was at Jeff's party. 484 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,464 ‐That party was over a long time ago. ‐Huh? 485 00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:36,634 Yeah. This right here‐‐ This right here? It's called tappin' hours. 486 00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:38,678 This is the hours when people are tappin' ass. 487 00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:40,554 I'm not tappin'. I'm not tappin'. 488 00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:42,431 Older white men should not be out this fuckin' late. 489 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,559 There's no late‐night yacht club, or late‐night garage sales 490 00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:47,395 and shit like that. You out here fuckin'. 491 00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:48,979 When I'm tappin', I always tell you. 492 00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:50,690 I come home and spread the fuckin' news. 493 00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:52,358 You wanna know who I'm tappin'? You wanna know who I'm tappin'? 494 00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:54,527 ‐Who the fuck you tappin'? ‐(slams) 495 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,238 Larry: I can't get out of it. It's Phil Rosenthal. He's just‐‐ 496 00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:58,989 What do you do? How many times can you say no? 497 00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:00,991 You couldn't do the Big Goodbye? 498 00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:03,202 I did the Big Goodbye. He saw right through it. 499 00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:04,745 Ah! You know what I'll do? 500 00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:06,330 I'll call you in the middle of lunch. 501 00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,416 Say it's an emergency and you gotta go. 502 00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:10,334 I did that the last time I had lunch with him. 503 00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:12,420 Oh, boy. That guy's relentless. 504 00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:15,548 Hey, Lar, that was some party last night, huh? 505 00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:18,050 ‐Yeah, it was a great party. ‐You had a good time? 506 00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:19,719 ‐I did. I had a nice time. ‐Yeah. 507 00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:22,263 So you drove Cheryl home? 508 00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:24,223 Yep. 509 00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:25,725 That was very nice of you. 510 00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:27,977 ‐Considering Ted's out of town‐‐ ‐Yeah. I'm a nice guy. 511 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,520 ‐Yeah. ‐Yeah. I'm a nice guy. 512 00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,605 So, what, did you just drop her off, or‐‐ 513 00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:33,858 ‐Yeah. Pretty much. ‐Hmm. 514 00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:37,695 Dropped her off. Said good night. Went on my merry way. 515 00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:39,321 Mm‐hmm. 516 00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:43,951 ‐Is there something you would like to know, or‐‐ ‐No, no, no. 517 00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:45,953 Something you're not saying? Um... 518 00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:47,788 You know, can I person not just ask 519 00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:50,541 ‐a, a normal question? ‐No, they're not normal questions. 520 00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:53,335 ‐There's a lot of implications. A lot of implications. ‐Larry: You're fishing‐‐ 521 00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,087 You're on a little fishing expedition. 522 00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:56,714 You know, you two are something. 523 00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:58,048 ‐You two make crap up‐‐ ‐We're something? 524 00:20:58,132 --> 00:20:59,550 You know what? You're something. 525 00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,552 Don't eat all the leftovers. We need them for dinner. 526 00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:03,804 ‐Jeff: Sure, I won't. ‐You're something. 527 00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:07,224 ‐I'll eat whatever the fuck I want. ‐That's right. 528 00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:08,893 Hey. Did you sleep with Cheryl? 529 00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:10,519 ‐Yeah. ‐You did? 530 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:13,230 ‐Yeah. Listen. (chuckles) ‐Ah. 531 00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:15,733 You cannot say anything to Susie. Cannot. 532 00:21:15,816 --> 00:21:17,735 Under any circumstances. Cheryl swore me to secrecy. 533 00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:18,986 She didn't want me to tell you. 534 00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:20,905 But I had to. I couldn't‐‐ How could I not? 535 00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:22,907 I'm a human being, for God's sake. 536 00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:24,450 ‐I think it's great. ‐Right? 537 00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:26,911 Yes. Wha‐‐ What are you hoping to get out of it, though? 538 00:21:26,994 --> 00:21:29,538 I'm hoping to get back together, but... 539 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:32,458 ‐I'll be surprised if I see her again. ‐Hmm. 540 00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:34,627 We on for golf on Saturday? 541 00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:36,253 Yeah. Um... 542 00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:38,088 Arnie Norton asked if he could play. 543 00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:41,217 (scoffs) I'm not playing with him. He's a Trump supporter. 544 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,552 ‐Never play with a Trump supporter. ‐Really? 545 00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:45,346 See him around town with that hat. 546 00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:47,014 "Make America Great Again." 547 00:21:47,097 --> 00:21:49,058 I don't need that crap. 548 00:21:50,184 --> 00:21:53,062 He just‐‐ He makes me want to not be anywhere near him. 549 00:21:53,938 --> 00:21:57,441 I don't know. You can check with Carl. See if he wants to play. 550 00:21:57,525 --> 00:21:58,734 I gotta go. 551 00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:02,947 (Phil whistling) 552 00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:04,949 ‐Phil: Oh, hello, there. ‐Hostess: Hi. 553 00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:07,368 Hi. I'm Phil Rosenthal. I have a twelve o'clock. 554 00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:09,328 Oh, yes. Mr. David's already here. 555 00:22:09,411 --> 00:22:11,747 ‐He is? Wow. ‐Yes. Right this way. 556 00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:14,333 ‐Very impressive. ‐He was early. 557 00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:19,213 Enjoy. 558 00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:21,590 Larry: Hey, Phil! 559 00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:25,719 Good to see you. Sit. Sit down. Sit down. 560 00:22:26,929 --> 00:22:29,765 Boy, I'm so glad we did this. It was such a good idea. 561 00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:31,141 You, you were definitely right. 562 00:22:31,225 --> 00:22:32,977 I'm, I'm starving. I hope this place is good. 563 00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:34,812 Yeah, yeah, it's great. It's big portions 564 00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:36,981 on the food and everything. It's really... 565 00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:39,066 a fantastic place. Um... 566 00:22:39,149 --> 00:22:41,360 You know what else? I've been thinking... 567 00:22:41,443 --> 00:22:43,946 Really thinking about this Ethiopia thing. 568 00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:46,198 Yeah, actually, I heard that we have some budget cuts, 569 00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:49,994 and Ethiopia's a little... ex‐expensive to shoot in. 570 00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:51,704 Wasn't that one of the shithole countries? 571 00:22:51,787 --> 00:22:53,914 I can't remember if that was on the list or not. 572 00:22:53,998 --> 00:22:56,792 ‐Oh, look. I'm getting a thing. ‐Larry: Oh! 573 00:22:57,167 --> 00:22:59,628 Oh, yeah. Oh, look at that. Um, uh... 574 00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:02,172 My son's flight, uh, got in early. 575 00:23:02,256 --> 00:23:04,675 ‐And I gotta get him. I gotta go get him. ‐Oh! Really? 576 00:23:04,758 --> 00:23:07,970 ‐Yeah, no, really. ‐Let's... Send, send an Uber or something. 577 00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:10,598 He needs to see me because he has a little anxiety. 578 00:23:10,681 --> 00:23:12,349 No, no! You know what? Phil... 579 00:23:12,433 --> 00:23:15,227 No, no. We'll, we'll, we'll... We'll... something. 580 00:23:18,105 --> 00:23:19,648 Ah! 581 00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:21,567 Fill her up. 582 00:23:22,443 --> 00:23:24,361 ‐Ah! Arigato! ‐Yes. 583 00:23:24,445 --> 00:23:27,907 ‐Arigato! ‐All right. Two seats at the sushi bar. 584 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,917 You know what? Actually, I think we'd prefer to sit at a table, please. 585 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,668 Larry: Huh. 586 00:23:41,295 --> 00:23:42,796 Sad. 587 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,924 Very sad. Sad. 588 00:23:45,007 --> 00:23:47,051 (motorcycle rumbling) 589 00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:49,178 (singing indistinctly) 590 00:23:49,261 --> 00:23:52,097 ‐Biker: Hey! What the fuck are you doing? ‐Whoa. 591 00:23:52,181 --> 00:23:54,725 ‐Oh, God. Oh, God. ‐Motherfucker! What the fuck? 592 00:23:54,808 --> 00:23:56,477 What are you trying to do, man? 593 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,688 ‐What the fuck are you doing? You little fucker! ‐Oh, God. Oh, God. 594 00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:02,066 ‐I'm sorry, I didn't see you. ‐What the fuck? 595 00:24:02,149 --> 00:24:04,693 ‐I'm sorry, I didn't see you! ‐I'm ought to rip you outta that fuckin' car! 596 00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:07,738 ‐You little shit. ‐I'm sorry. I didn't see you. 597 00:24:07,821 --> 00:24:10,199 Oh. Just be more careful next time, okay? 598 00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:13,410 Will do. Will do. Okay. Thank you. 599 00:24:13,494 --> 00:24:15,454 ♪ 600 00:24:17,748 --> 00:24:19,750 Richard: ♪ Now, now... ♪ 601 00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:23,253 ♪ I want my coffee and my Danish right now, now, now ♪ 602 00:24:23,337 --> 00:24:26,548 (continues singing indistinctly) 603 00:24:41,230 --> 00:24:43,107 ‐(knocking) ‐What are you‐‐ What are you doing here? 604 00:24:43,190 --> 00:24:45,025 What do you mean what am I doin' here? 605 00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:47,152 ‐Come here. Come out. I want to talk to you. ‐You come here. 606 00:24:47,236 --> 00:24:49,321 ‐No, come on. Come on out here. ‐No, you come. 607 00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:51,532 ‐Come on. I want to talk to you. Come on. ‐I'm not leaving. You come. 608 00:24:51,615 --> 00:24:54,410 ‐You come. You come. ‐(mutters): Aw, fuck it. 609 00:24:55,703 --> 00:24:58,247 What are you doing here? You said you were gonna boycott this place. 610 00:24:58,330 --> 00:24:59,915 I am boycotting this place. 611 00:24:59,999 --> 00:25:01,959 Oh, this is a boycott? Sitting here drinking coffee? 612 00:25:02,042 --> 00:25:03,544 That's a boy‐‐ That's quite a boycott. 613 00:25:03,627 --> 00:25:06,672 I told you, for the rest of my dying days, 614 00:25:06,755 --> 00:25:09,216 I will never come to this place with you. 615 00:25:09,299 --> 00:25:11,010 ‐Ever. ‐That's not what you said. 616 00:25:11,093 --> 00:25:13,303 ‐I said I was‐‐ ‐You said you're boycotting this place. 617 00:25:13,387 --> 00:25:15,431 And you're never coming back here. You didn't say with me. 618 00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:17,725 What are you? My Jewish puppet master? 619 00:25:17,808 --> 00:25:19,727 I can do whatever the fuck I want alone, 620 00:25:19,810 --> 00:25:21,812 ‐but with you, I will never come in here. ‐Look! 621 00:25:21,895 --> 00:25:23,147 I swear on my life. 622 00:25:23,230 --> 00:25:24,773 Who the fuck needs you for a boycott 623 00:25:24,857 --> 00:25:27,109 if I'm boycotting already? I don't need you 624 00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:28,694 to boycott. You said you're boycotting, 625 00:25:28,777 --> 00:25:29,987 ‐but you didn't boycott. ‐Are you done? 626 00:25:30,070 --> 00:25:31,697 I‐‐ I don't understand. I si‐‐ (scoffs) 627 00:25:31,780 --> 00:25:33,782 ‐I don't understand you. ‐(woman coughing) 628 00:25:34,491 --> 00:25:36,618 Oh, my God. Now she's drinking coffee! 629 00:25:36,702 --> 00:25:38,495 ‐Richard: Who's that? ‐Larry: It's unbelievable. 630 00:25:38,579 --> 00:25:40,664 ‐Richard: Who? ‐Susie's friend. I saw her in the gym the other day. 631 00:25:40,748 --> 00:25:43,083 She's eight months pregnant. She was running on a treadmill. 632 00:25:43,792 --> 00:25:45,836 She has no regard for this fetus. 633 00:25:45,919 --> 00:25:47,504 Now she's drinking coffee. 634 00:25:47,588 --> 00:25:51,050 This coffee, by the way, is unbelievable. It's fantastic. 635 00:25:51,133 --> 00:25:53,010 ‐Is it hot? ‐It's very hot. 636 00:25:53,093 --> 00:25:56,180 ‐Let me see that for a second. ‐Hey, don't touch my‐‐ I don't like‐‐ Don't touch it. 637 00:25:56,263 --> 00:25:58,223 What the‐‐ Hey, stop it! 638 00:25:58,932 --> 00:26:00,726 What are you, a fuckin' goose? 639 00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:03,103 Okay. That's not hot coffee, okay? 640 00:26:03,187 --> 00:26:05,314 If that was hot coffee, I, I would have burned my nose. 641 00:26:05,397 --> 00:26:08,233 Who asked for a nose test? I didn't want a nose test! 642 00:26:08,317 --> 00:26:09,985 ‐What, are you outta your mind? ‐Not hot. 643 00:26:10,069 --> 00:26:11,487 What the hell is going on here? 644 00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:13,572 ‐Is he bothering you, Mr. Lewis? ‐Yes, he's bothering me. 645 00:26:13,655 --> 00:26:15,908 ‐Oh, really? ‐Richard: Yeah, really. 646 00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:18,202 You know what, Larry? Get out. 647 00:26:18,285 --> 00:26:20,204 ‐Huh. ‐This is what it's come to. 648 00:26:20,287 --> 00:26:23,499 You're banned. For life. I never wanna see you in here again. 649 00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:27,127 ‐Is that so? ‐Yeah. You're banned. Banned! Get out! 650 00:26:27,211 --> 00:26:29,338 With pleasure. 651 00:26:30,964 --> 00:26:32,382 ♪ 652 00:26:32,466 --> 00:26:34,468 Mark my words, Mocha Joe, 653 00:26:35,219 --> 00:26:36,845 and mark them well. 654 00:26:36,929 --> 00:26:40,015 I don't know how, and I don't know when, 655 00:26:40,098 --> 00:26:42,309 but I will exact vengeance. 656 00:26:42,392 --> 00:26:43,977 As God is my witness, 657 00:26:44,061 --> 00:26:47,856 I will bring you to the brink of extinction, 658 00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:50,108 or I will die trying. 659 00:26:50,776 --> 00:26:53,487 ‐Happy New Year, Mocha Joe! ‐Happy New Year, Larry. 660 00:26:53,570 --> 00:26:54,738 Hey, Happy New Year, man. 661 00:26:54,822 --> 00:26:56,615 Happy New Year. 662 00:26:56,698 --> 00:26:58,492 ♪ ♪ 663 00:27:07,668 --> 00:27:10,337 (phone ringing) 664 00:27:11,129 --> 00:27:12,673 Hello, Larry David's office. 665 00:27:12,756 --> 00:27:14,341 Valerie (over phone): Hi, my name is Valerie Ashburn. 666 00:27:14,424 --> 00:27:15,759 I'd like to speak to Larry David. 667 00:27:15,843 --> 00:27:17,553 Yes, may I ask what this is regarding? 668 00:27:17,636 --> 00:27:21,682 Sure. This is regarding him sexually assaulting me at a party. 669 00:27:22,057 --> 00:27:24,768 Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry. What‐‐ 670 00:27:24,852 --> 00:27:26,436 What happened? 671 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:27,771 I was catering at a party. 672 00:27:27,855 --> 00:27:30,440 Larry was molesting me with his eyes 673 00:27:30,524 --> 00:27:33,318 the entire night. And then when I went into a pantry, 674 00:27:33,402 --> 00:27:35,612 he followed me in, cornered me, 675 00:27:35,696 --> 00:27:37,739 and he grabbed my breast. I was lucky to get out of there. 676 00:27:37,823 --> 00:27:41,243 ‐You know he did something like that to me, too? ‐Valerie: No. 677 00:27:41,326 --> 00:27:43,495 ‐Oh, my God. ‐Alice: Yeah. 678 00:27:43,579 --> 00:27:45,414 Everything was fine. And one day he... 679 00:27:45,497 --> 00:27:47,207 asked about a tattoo I have on my arm, 680 00:27:47,291 --> 00:27:48,417 and I wouldn't tell him what it meant, 681 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:49,710 and then he got obsessive about it. 682 00:27:49,793 --> 00:27:51,295 And why did I have it on my arm, 683 00:27:51,378 --> 00:27:53,839 and why didn't I have it on my butt, somewhere private. 684 00:27:53,922 --> 00:27:55,507 Okay. So this is a pattern. 685 00:27:55,591 --> 00:27:57,885 Alice: Oh, yeah. And that's just the beginning. 686 00:28:11,815 --> 00:28:13,525 What the fuck! 687 00:28:14,651 --> 00:28:15,903 Fuck! 688 00:28:15,986 --> 00:28:17,905 (gags) 689 00:28:19,489 --> 00:28:21,074 (groans) 690 00:28:23,327 --> 00:28:24,786 Shit. 691 00:28:25,579 --> 00:28:28,290 Damn it. Frickin' dog. 692 00:28:29,082 --> 00:28:32,002 And he grabbed my shirt to wipe his glasses. 693 00:28:32,085 --> 00:28:34,421 Hold on. I have to shut the door. 694 00:28:39,301 --> 00:28:41,887 ‐Larry? ‐Larry: I'll be out in a second. 695 00:28:41,970 --> 00:28:43,597 Okay. 696 00:28:49,353 --> 00:28:50,854 ‐What's with the robe? ‐Larry: Oh. 697 00:28:50,938 --> 00:28:53,732 'Cause I spit cereal up all over my shirt, 698 00:28:53,815 --> 00:28:55,525 because there was dog hair in it. 699 00:28:55,609 --> 00:28:57,444 ‐(groans) Disgusting. ‐Larry: Right? 700 00:28:57,527 --> 00:29:00,739 So... what's going on? What do you... 701 00:29:00,822 --> 00:29:03,450 What, what are you doing here? You haven't been here in a year. 702 00:29:03,533 --> 00:29:05,369 What the fuck is going on with you? 703 00:29:05,452 --> 00:29:07,412 ‐What are you talking about? ‐You're wearing a MAGA hat 704 00:29:07,496 --> 00:29:08,872 at a sushi restaurant? 705 00:29:08,956 --> 00:29:11,625 ‐Is that true? ‐Well, I did have the hat on, yeah. 706 00:29:11,708 --> 00:29:13,877 ‐What, are you pro‐Trump? ‐No, no. 707 00:29:13,961 --> 00:29:15,587 Look, I got this idea to wear that hat 708 00:29:15,671 --> 00:29:18,048 ‐so I wouldn't have to have lunch with Phil Rosenthal. ‐Mm. 709 00:29:18,131 --> 00:29:21,051 And it worked like a charm. He saw me in the hat and he left the restaurant. 710 00:29:21,134 --> 00:29:22,719 ‐It was amazing. ‐I'm not surprised. 711 00:29:22,803 --> 00:29:24,846 You know what? It's really comin' in handy. 712 00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:27,224 Yeah, 'cause no one's gonna wanna be anywhere near you. 713 00:29:27,307 --> 00:29:29,935 Exactly! It's, it's a great people repellent. 714 00:29:30,811 --> 00:29:32,896 ‐(groans) ‐You know, look. When you're a celebrity, 715 00:29:32,980 --> 00:29:35,565 you can do anything you want. You can grab 'em by the pussy‐‐ 716 00:29:35,649 --> 00:29:37,567 ‐What did you say? ‐What? 717 00:29:37,651 --> 00:29:39,111 Why are you wearing a bathrobe? 718 00:29:39,194 --> 00:29:42,781 ‐And that hat! ‐Oh, no, no! No, I‐‐ (stammering) 719 00:29:42,864 --> 00:29:45,534 Oh, my God! You're friends with that monster? 720 00:29:45,617 --> 00:29:46,785 ‐No, I'm‐‐ ‐Alice: No! 721 00:29:46,868 --> 00:29:48,745 ‐No, no, no, no, no! ‐No! No, no, I'm just‐‐ 722 00:29:48,829 --> 00:29:49,913 Alice: I'm getting a lawyer! 723 00:29:49,997 --> 00:29:51,581 No! What? Hey! What? 724 00:29:51,665 --> 00:29:53,083 No! I'm in the bathrobe 725 00:29:53,166 --> 00:29:54,584 'cause your fuckin' dog got hair 726 00:29:54,668 --> 00:29:55,794 all over my cereal bowl, 727 00:29:55,877 --> 00:29:57,462 and that's not Weinstein! 728 00:29:57,546 --> 00:30:00,173 ♪ ♪ 729 00:30:19,651 --> 00:30:22,279 ‐I'll take it. ‐It's all yours. 730 00:30:22,362 --> 00:30:25,365 ♪ 731 00:30:34,166 --> 00:30:35,417 What are you doin' here, Larry? 732 00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:37,085 I thought I told you to get out and not come back. 733 00:30:37,169 --> 00:30:39,880 Yeah, so you did, Mocha Joe. So you did. 734 00:30:39,963 --> 00:30:41,715 I've merely come to inform you 735 00:30:41,798 --> 00:30:44,426 that I have leased the place next door, 736 00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:47,012 where I'll be opening up a coffee shop 737 00:30:47,095 --> 00:30:49,139 exactly the same as yours. 738 00:30:49,222 --> 00:30:51,683 Only charging much lower prices. 739 00:30:51,767 --> 00:30:53,810 All for the express purpose 740 00:30:53,894 --> 00:30:55,729 of taking you down. 741 00:30:55,812 --> 00:30:58,065 Knock yourself out. I welcome the competition. 742 00:30:58,148 --> 00:31:00,692 ‐Yeah. ‐I'm not afraid of you. You don't have the beans. 743 00:31:00,776 --> 00:31:03,945 I'm the only guy in Los Angeles who has these beans. 744 00:31:04,029 --> 00:31:06,114 ‐Yeah. I'll get beans. ‐Oh, you won't find better beans 745 00:31:06,198 --> 00:31:07,574 ‐than my beans. ‐I'll get better beans. 746 00:31:07,657 --> 00:31:09,367 ‐No such thing as better beans. ‐There are better beans, 747 00:31:09,451 --> 00:31:10,911 ‐Mocha Joe. ‐No better beans, Larry. 748 00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:13,330 ‐I will find better beans. ‐Mm‐hmm, good luck. 749 00:31:13,413 --> 00:31:14,956 See ya, Larry. 750 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,250 ‐You know what I'm gonna call it? ‐What? 751 00:31:17,334 --> 00:31:20,128 Latte Larry's. 752 00:31:24,591 --> 00:31:27,094 (panting) 753 00:31:30,097 --> 00:31:32,015 (doorbell chimes) 754 00:31:32,099 --> 00:31:34,726 ♪ 755 00:31:45,946 --> 00:31:47,572 Can I come in? 756 00:31:48,865 --> 00:31:50,117 Y‐yes. 757 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:51,701 ‐Yes, yes. ‐Are you sure? 758 00:31:51,785 --> 00:31:54,538 Yeah, I'm positive. I'm a little surprised, is all. 759 00:31:54,621 --> 00:31:56,289 ‐Come in. ‐Okay. 760 00:31:56,373 --> 00:31:57,541 ‐Wow. ‐Well... 761 00:31:57,624 --> 00:31:59,042 Holy cow. I can't‐‐ 762 00:31:59,126 --> 00:32:01,378 ‐I can't believe you're here. ‐You told me, right? I mean‐‐ 763 00:32:01,461 --> 00:32:03,797 Um... 764 00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:07,342 Give me two minutes. 765 00:32:07,425 --> 00:32:09,511 Two minutes. I'll be right back. Stay right there. 766 00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:16,726 ‐Leon: Ha‐ha! (yells) ‐(TV playing indistinctly) 767 00:32:16,810 --> 00:32:18,812 (Leon laughing) 768 00:32:19,062 --> 00:32:20,981 (knocking continues) 769 00:32:21,815 --> 00:32:23,984 ‐Fuckin' my movie up. What you want? ‐I need that talcum powder. 770 00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:27,445 ‐What you got goin' on? ‐It's an emergency. Get me the talcum powder! 771 00:32:27,529 --> 00:32:28,655 Leon: Fuck! 772 00:32:29,406 --> 00:32:30,991 Who you tappin'? 773 00:32:31,074 --> 00:32:32,617 Cheryl. 774 00:32:33,076 --> 00:32:37,289 What? My man Larry David re‐tappin' that ass! 775 00:32:42,502 --> 00:32:43,837 Ooh. 776 00:32:45,005 --> 00:32:46,339 Ooh. 777 00:32:46,423 --> 00:32:48,425 ‐(Cheryl coughing) ‐(Larry coughing) 778 00:32:48,508 --> 00:32:50,677 (huffing, coughing) 779 00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:53,805 (Cheryl gasps) Did you powder down there? 780 00:32:53,889 --> 00:32:56,600 ‐No good? ‐(coughs) I'm allergic. 781 00:32:56,683 --> 00:32:59,352 Oh! Oh, my God. 782 00:32:59,436 --> 00:33:01,396 ‐Oh, my God. ‐(coughing) 783 00:33:01,479 --> 00:33:02,981 ‐Oh, my God. ‐(gasping) 784 00:33:03,064 --> 00:33:05,567 ‐Oh! Call 9‐1‐1! ‐(coughing) 785 00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:08,403 ‐Easy. ‐(coughing) 786 00:33:08,695 --> 00:33:10,488 Hey. Jesus, slow down. 787 00:33:10,572 --> 00:33:13,366 ‐What happened? ‐Oh, she, uh, swallowed some talcum powder, 788 00:33:13,450 --> 00:33:15,327 and is having an allergic reaction to it. 789 00:33:15,410 --> 00:33:16,745 Did she ingest anything else? 790 00:33:17,078 --> 00:33:18,580 (gasps) 791 00:33:18,872 --> 00:33:21,166 Kind of a personal question, don't you think? 792 00:33:24,878 --> 00:33:26,379 So sorry! 793 00:33:28,673 --> 00:33:30,550 Oh, my God. You look so much better. 794 00:33:30,634 --> 00:33:33,178 ‐Do I? ‐Oh. (stammering) Are you kidding? 795 00:33:33,261 --> 00:33:35,096 I couldn't even look at you before. I mean, it was... 796 00:33:35,180 --> 00:33:38,308 really, like, hideous. You looked... disgusting. 797 00:33:38,391 --> 00:33:40,018 I could barely glance at you. 798 00:33:40,101 --> 00:33:41,645 Yeah, because of you. 799 00:33:41,728 --> 00:33:43,104 ‐Yeah. ‐You're the one that 800 00:33:43,188 --> 00:33:45,148 put the talcum powder‐‐ Uh, I'm allergic, and you‐‐ 801 00:33:45,232 --> 00:33:47,817 ‐It's because of you. ‐Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. 802 00:33:47,901 --> 00:33:49,945 Yeah. But you know, I was thinking, 803 00:33:50,028 --> 00:33:52,822 if that happened when we were married and your face... 804 00:33:52,906 --> 00:33:55,367 for some reason, stayed that way, 805 00:33:55,909 --> 00:33:57,494 what would I have done? 806 00:33:57,953 --> 00:33:59,704 What do you mean what would you have done? 807 00:33:59,788 --> 00:34:02,666 Well, I mean, could I have lived with you looking like that? 808 00:34:02,749 --> 00:34:05,001 ‐You're such an asshole. ‐(both laughing) 809 00:34:05,085 --> 00:34:08,380 You are such... I mean, I'm, I'm fighting for my life, 810 00:34:08,463 --> 00:34:10,507 and this is what you're... Susie? 811 00:34:10,590 --> 00:34:11,758 What are you guys doing here? 812 00:34:12,259 --> 00:34:13,802 What are you‐‐ What are you doing here? 813 00:34:13,885 --> 00:34:16,179 Susie: Randi had contractions, and... 814 00:34:16,263 --> 00:34:18,682 She's walking around the halls trying to induce, 815 00:34:18,765 --> 00:34:21,518 'cause nothing's happening, so I thought I'd come and keep her company. 816 00:34:21,601 --> 00:34:24,312 ‐Randi's here? ‐Yeah. Cheryl, what happened? 817 00:34:24,396 --> 00:34:27,440 ‐She got stung by a wasp. ‐I had an allergic reaction to shellfish. 818 00:34:28,525 --> 00:34:29,859 Okay. 819 00:34:29,943 --> 00:34:33,321 I knew it. I knew something was going on with you two. 820 00:34:33,405 --> 00:34:34,698 I could smell it. 821 00:34:34,781 --> 00:34:36,866 That night at our house. The ventriloquist. 822 00:34:36,950 --> 00:34:40,036 He drove you home. Something's been going on here. 823 00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:41,663 I knew it. I knew it! 824 00:34:41,746 --> 00:34:43,748 Bravo! 825 00:34:43,832 --> 00:34:45,375 ‐Bravo, Poirot. ‐(phone chimes) 826 00:34:45,458 --> 00:34:47,210 Cheryl: Oh, no. Hey. 827 00:34:47,294 --> 00:34:51,381 ‐Ted is in the garage. ‐Larry: What? 828 00:34:51,464 --> 00:34:53,258 ‐He's on his way up. ‐Larry: What? 829 00:34:53,341 --> 00:34:54,551 You‐‐ You can't be here. 830 00:34:54,634 --> 00:34:56,469 You better leave. You better leave, Larry. 831 00:34:56,553 --> 00:34:58,221 How does he‐‐ How does he know you're in the hospital? 832 00:34:58,305 --> 00:34:59,723 Because he just flew in from San Francisco 833 00:34:59,806 --> 00:35:01,141 and he texted me when he landed. I... 834 00:35:01,224 --> 00:35:02,976 Because he's her significant other, 835 00:35:03,059 --> 00:35:04,728 and you're her significant nothing! 836 00:35:04,811 --> 00:35:07,188 ‐Just keep your fuckin' trap shut! ‐Susie: Go! 837 00:35:08,732 --> 00:35:09,691 Oh. 838 00:35:10,483 --> 00:35:12,444 ‐(Larry grunts) ‐Hey! 839 00:35:12,819 --> 00:35:14,613 ‐(Larry grunts) ‐Doctor: Just slow down! 840 00:35:15,155 --> 00:35:16,948 ‐Excuse me, sir! ‐(Larry grunts) 841 00:35:18,992 --> 00:35:20,994 (Larry and Randi shriek) 842 00:35:22,078 --> 00:35:24,331 ‐God! ‐Larry: Oh! Oh, my God! 843 00:35:24,414 --> 00:35:26,207 ‐Larry! ‐You? 844 00:35:26,291 --> 00:35:29,085 Are you fucking kidding me, you piece of shit? 845 00:35:29,169 --> 00:35:31,212 Okay, if anything happens to this baby, 846 00:35:31,296 --> 00:35:32,714 it's gonna be your fault. 847 00:35:32,797 --> 00:35:34,591 Oh, please. After what that fetus has been through, 848 00:35:34,674 --> 00:35:36,134 this'll be a day at the beach. 849 00:35:37,010 --> 00:35:38,678 Happy New Year! 850 00:35:39,471 --> 00:35:41,640 (theme music playing) 851 00:36:43,576 --> 00:36:44,577 LARRY DAVID: It's a coffee place. 852 00:36:44,911 --> 00:36:46,454 I'm opening up a spite store to take him out of business. 853 00:36:46,538 --> 00:36:48,873 I don't know what a spite store is and I don't really care. 854 00:36:48,957 --> 00:36:49,999 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 855 00:36:50,083 --> 00:36:51,668 Can I give you a little tip? 856 00:36:51,751 --> 00:36:53,253 If you're gonna confront somebody, 857 00:36:53,336 --> 00:36:55,046 better to do it with pants on. 858 00:36:55,130 --> 00:36:56,047 The shorts... 859 00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:58,717 It's hard to take a person seriously wearing shorts. 860 00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:00,135 I wanna give you a heads up. 861 00:37:00,343 --> 00:37:01,678 Susie's birthday's in about a week. 862 00:37:01,761 --> 00:37:03,722 I already got her something. It's gonna be a nice surprise. 863 00:37:03,805 --> 00:37:04,764 What is it? 864 00:37:05,682 --> 00:37:06,850 JEFF GARLIN: What were you thinking? 865 00:37:06,933 --> 00:37:08,059 I'm done with presents! 866 00:37:08,143 --> 00:37:09,310 My birthday's coming up in a month. 867 00:37:09,394 --> 00:37:10,770 ‐What are you getting me?! ‐Nothing! 868 00:37:10,854 --> 00:37:12,689 ‐Oh, thank you! ‐You're welcome! 869 00:37:12,772 --> 00:37:13,565 (GROANS) 870 00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:15,650 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪