1 00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:08,726 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:12,685 --> 00:00:14,935 Hey. Have you ever gotten a mani-pedi? 3 00:00:15,601 --> 00:00:17,643 Uh, I've gotten a manicure. 4 00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:20,851 -Really? -Uh, but I've never got a pedicure. 5 00:00:20,935 --> 00:00:23,142 The toes rank second on the body 6 00:00:23,226 --> 00:00:25,935 only to the testicles in terms of how repulsive they are. 7 00:00:26,017 --> 00:00:28,893 -Hey. You know Hobe Turner? -He was a writer on Seinfeld. 8 00:00:28,976 --> 00:00:31,518 -Yeah. Of course. Yeah. -Okay. Doing a movie 9 00:00:31,601 --> 00:00:34,518 starring Jon Hamm, and Jon Hamm 10 00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:37,810 is playing a Larry David-type writer. 11 00:00:37,893 --> 00:00:41,393 They're going against type, and he wants to, uh, 12 00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:43,726 follow you around, spend a day with you. 13 00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:45,017 Yeah, let's do it. 14 00:00:45,101 --> 00:00:46,893 I'm gonna try and make it happen for tomorrow. 15 00:00:46,976 --> 00:00:48,393 -That'll be fun. -Yeah, it will be fun. 16 00:00:48,476 --> 00:00:49,393 Susie: We're back! 17 00:00:49,476 --> 00:00:50,726 All right, listen. 18 00:00:50,810 --> 00:00:53,017 We are not getting along at all. 19 00:00:53,101 --> 00:00:54,768 Susie and I are at odds. 20 00:00:54,851 --> 00:00:56,559 Oh, my God. I, I don't even know-- 21 00:00:56,643 --> 00:00:57,893 -Susie: Saw your car! -Hi! 22 00:00:57,976 --> 00:00:59,643 -Hi, ladies. Hi. -Oh. 23 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,267 -Well, well, well. -Hi. 24 00:01:01,351 --> 00:01:02,393 -Hey, look who's here? -Hey. 25 00:01:02,476 --> 00:01:04,851 -I'm glad you're here. -Are you? 26 00:01:04,935 --> 00:01:07,059 I never thought I'd hear those words come out of your mouth. 27 00:01:07,142 --> 00:01:09,476 Okay. So, Becky, my sister... 28 00:01:09,559 --> 00:01:11,476 -Larry: Uh-huh. -...is selling that house we bought her. 29 00:01:11,559 --> 00:01:14,017 -Really? -And what's really interesting is, 30 00:01:14,101 --> 00:01:15,184 it's appreciated, 31 00:01:15,267 --> 00:01:16,726 because that section of town is, like-- 32 00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:19,017 Fantastic! Make a little dough! 33 00:01:19,101 --> 00:01:20,643 Becky's gonna make some money. 34 00:01:20,726 --> 00:01:22,851 What do you mean she'll make some money? 35 00:01:22,935 --> 00:01:24,518 I bought the house. 36 00:01:24,601 --> 00:01:26,434 -We bought the house. -Larry: Okay, yeah, okay. 37 00:01:26,518 --> 00:01:28,101 -And we gave it... -Larry: We bought the house. 38 00:01:28,184 --> 00:01:29,101 -...as a gift. -Okay. 39 00:01:29,184 --> 00:01:30,935 A gift-- It wasn't a gift 40 00:01:31,017 --> 00:01:32,768 for her to sell and make money. 41 00:01:32,851 --> 00:01:34,267 It was a gift for her to live in. 42 00:01:34,351 --> 00:01:36,101 -You gave it to her. It was a gift. -Cheryl: Yeah. You-- 43 00:01:36,184 --> 00:01:38,059 I didn't give her the house so she could sell it. 44 00:01:38,142 --> 00:01:39,476 What if she sold it in three days? 45 00:01:39,559 --> 00:01:41,059 Would she be allowed to keep the money? 46 00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:43,351 -She's flipping houses now? -She's been there for 15 years. 47 00:01:43,434 --> 00:01:44,768 That's not exactly a flip. 48 00:01:44,851 --> 00:01:47,726 So she's gonna sell it and make this tremendous profit? 49 00:01:47,810 --> 00:01:50,226 -And get everything? -That's, that's crazy talk. 50 00:01:50,309 --> 00:01:51,893 -Larry: That's insane. -Why are you siding with him? 51 00:01:51,976 --> 00:01:53,351 -What do you mean, why am I siding with him? -No! 52 00:01:53,434 --> 00:01:54,726 Jeff: That's the right thing! 53 00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:56,643 Listen, I don't wanna be 54 00:01:56,726 --> 00:01:57,643 in the middle of this. 55 00:01:57,726 --> 00:01:59,309 I don't really talk to Becky. 56 00:01:59,393 --> 00:02:00,393 Why? 57 00:02:00,476 --> 00:02:02,601 We've grown apart through the years. 58 00:02:02,685 --> 00:02:04,643 She calls me Queen Elizabeth. 59 00:02:04,726 --> 00:02:06,685 She calls herself Princess Margaret-- 60 00:02:06,768 --> 00:02:08,226 -Queen Elizabeth? -Yeah. 61 00:02:08,309 --> 00:02:10,059 Oh, yeah. 'Cause you got everything. 62 00:02:10,142 --> 00:02:12,810 -That's what she says. -And she's jealous. 63 00:02:12,893 --> 00:02:14,559 So if you're comfortable... 64 00:02:14,643 --> 00:02:17,142 -going to her and asking her for money-- -Oh, you better believe it. 65 00:02:17,226 --> 00:02:18,935 Oh, you better believe it. I feel comfortable. 66 00:02:19,017 --> 00:02:20,935 All right, well, you do it, because Cheryl doesn't feel comfortable. 67 00:02:21,017 --> 00:02:22,726 -Is that a character? -Larry: Yeah. Kramer. 68 00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,226 -Jeff: Oh. -Oh, I feel comfortable. 69 00:02:24,309 --> 00:02:27,017 -Cheryl: Okay. -Oh, you better believe it. 70 00:02:28,434 --> 00:02:31,851 This Hobe Turner movie is, like, one of the-- is a big thing for me. 71 00:02:31,935 --> 00:02:33,810 -Yeah. -And I'm excited to do it. And, you know, 72 00:02:33,893 --> 00:02:35,476 the guy is kind of based on you. 73 00:02:35,559 --> 00:02:38,518 So the best way I can figure it is to just hang out. 74 00:02:38,601 --> 00:02:40,976 -You know. I ask-- -It's not gonna be easy, Jon. 75 00:02:41,059 --> 00:02:42,601 I'm a very complex man. 76 00:02:42,685 --> 00:02:44,518 -Very complicated. -(laughs) I get it. 77 00:02:44,601 --> 00:02:46,434 But I just wanna say I'd really appreciate it. 78 00:02:46,518 --> 00:02:48,226 -You'd appreciate it. -Yes, I would. 79 00:02:48,309 --> 00:02:52,309 Really. This-- this word "appreciate," it's very, very odd. 80 00:02:52,393 --> 00:02:54,518 People seem to think that if they use the word "appreciate," 81 00:02:54,601 --> 00:02:56,518 all of a sudden, the seas part for them. 82 00:02:56,601 --> 00:02:59,351 "Oh, hey, I'm so sorry that I... 83 00:02:59,434 --> 00:03:01,101 "I robbed your house and burned it down. 84 00:03:01,184 --> 00:03:03,309 I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't tell the cops." 85 00:03:03,393 --> 00:03:07,101 -You know? -(laughing): This is exactly what I'm talking about. 86 00:03:07,726 --> 00:03:11,059 -This is perfect. -All right. Let's order the main course. 87 00:03:11,142 --> 00:03:12,685 Yes, we should. 88 00:03:12,768 --> 00:03:15,142 -There's so many things on this. -I can't look at these menus. 89 00:03:15,226 --> 00:03:17,726 There's so much. Oh, you know what? 90 00:03:17,810 --> 00:03:20,685 We should just ask them. They got-- They know what they're doing. 91 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:21,935 Ho-bo-bo. Ho-ho-ho-ho. 92 00:03:22,017 --> 00:03:23,768 Why are you-- Why are you doing this? 93 00:03:23,851 --> 00:03:27,351 Excuse me. What, uh-- What'd you guys get? 94 00:03:27,434 --> 00:03:28,935 Why do you want to know? 95 00:03:29,017 --> 00:03:30,935 Because we're about to order. 96 00:03:31,017 --> 00:03:32,643 But, uh, you have a menu. 97 00:03:32,726 --> 00:03:34,601 Yeah, but I figured, you know, 98 00:03:34,685 --> 00:03:37,059 you're the experts, why not copy you. 99 00:03:37,142 --> 00:03:39,309 Why would you think we're the experts? 100 00:03:39,393 --> 00:03:40,810 Chinese. 101 00:03:40,893 --> 00:03:43,810 -Ai-yah! -That doesn't make us an expert on food. 102 00:03:43,893 --> 00:03:45,017 Yeah. Yeah, I think it does. 103 00:03:45,101 --> 00:03:46,893 I mean, if there was a table of fat people, 104 00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:48,309 and a table of skinny people, 105 00:03:48,393 --> 00:03:50,351 I'd ask the fat people what they were getting. 106 00:03:50,434 --> 00:03:53,309 'Cause they're a little more expert at eating than the skinny people. 107 00:03:53,393 --> 00:03:54,518 Anyway... 108 00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:57,685 -Return to your meal. -All: Thank you. 109 00:03:59,518 --> 00:04:02,309 -What? -This is gold. 110 00:04:05,226 --> 00:04:06,351 -Schmo-hawk. -Yeah, schmo-hawk. 111 00:04:06,434 --> 00:04:07,518 -I thought I heard that. -Yeah. 112 00:04:07,601 --> 00:04:09,101 But I wasn't sure I heard it right. 113 00:04:09,184 --> 00:04:10,726 -S-C-H? -S-C-H. 114 00:04:10,810 --> 00:04:11,935 You know, you got the "schmo." 115 00:04:12,017 --> 00:04:14,309 -(laughing) -It's a schmo. Yeah. 116 00:04:15,184 --> 00:04:17,226 It's the browsing, right? You can't stand it. 117 00:04:17,309 --> 00:04:18,685 -You hate it. -No browsing. 118 00:04:18,768 --> 00:04:20,434 -No browsing. Yeah. -No browsing. 119 00:04:20,518 --> 00:04:23,601 -You own this stand? -No. I work for the owner. 120 00:04:23,685 --> 00:04:26,184 What do you do if you have to go to the bathroom? 121 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:27,518 I don't go. 122 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:29,768 You don't go. 123 00:04:29,851 --> 00:04:31,142 The whole shift, you don't go? 124 00:04:31,226 --> 00:04:33,476 I can't go. I have to watch. 125 00:04:33,559 --> 00:04:34,976 All right. You know what? 126 00:04:35,059 --> 00:04:37,017 Do you have to go to the bathroom now? 127 00:04:38,351 --> 00:04:40,101 -Go. I'll watch it. -You'll watch it? 128 00:04:40,184 --> 00:04:42,309 -I'll watch the stand. Go. -Okay. Put this on. 129 00:04:42,393 --> 00:04:44,101 -Yeah. Yeah, yeah. -Thank you. Thank you so-- 130 00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:45,559 Yeah. You're, you're, you're welcome. 131 00:04:45,643 --> 00:04:46,893 I really have to go. 132 00:04:46,976 --> 00:04:48,351 -No browsing, okay? -No browsing. 133 00:04:48,434 --> 00:04:50,017 -You browse, you buy. -You browse, you buy. 134 00:04:50,101 --> 00:04:52,601 -Thank you. -Take your time. Take your time. 135 00:04:52,685 --> 00:04:54,893 Get your papers here. Papers! 136 00:04:54,976 --> 00:04:56,935 Magazines. Newspapers! 137 00:04:57,976 --> 00:04:59,351 Sir. 138 00:04:59,434 --> 00:05:00,810 -Oh. -Sir. 139 00:05:00,893 --> 00:05:03,142 -Sorry, no browsing. -I'm not browsing. 140 00:05:03,226 --> 00:05:06,685 The rule here is, you buy, then browse. 141 00:05:06,768 --> 00:05:08,810 Customer: I browse to buy. 142 00:05:08,893 --> 00:05:10,434 I know, but that's-- I'm sorry. 143 00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:11,893 That's, that's just not gonna work. 144 00:05:11,976 --> 00:05:13,351 What the fuck? 145 00:05:13,434 --> 00:05:14,935 -Hey! -Hey. 146 00:05:15,017 --> 00:05:16,768 Yeah, sorry. Yeah. 147 00:05:17,226 --> 00:05:19,851 L.D. What the-- What are you, nuts? 148 00:05:19,935 --> 00:05:21,601 -No. -Are you having a breakdown? 149 00:05:21,685 --> 00:05:23,184 -Richard: Hey, Jon. -Hey, how are you? 150 00:05:23,267 --> 00:05:24,893 -Jon Hamm. -Yeah, it's nice to meet you. Big fan. 151 00:05:24,976 --> 00:05:26,726 What is-- What the f-- What, are you guys... 152 00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:28,267 -...escaped from a mental institution? -No. 153 00:05:28,351 --> 00:05:29,851 The guy had to go to the bathroom, so I took over. 154 00:05:29,935 --> 00:05:31,726 -So get this-- -What, what are you guys doing? 155 00:05:31,810 --> 00:05:33,518 Jon's starring in a movie. 156 00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:35,559 -Well, what else is new? -And the character... 157 00:05:35,643 --> 00:05:37,184 The character's based on me. 158 00:05:37,267 --> 00:05:38,685 So he's kind of shadowing me. 159 00:05:38,768 --> 00:05:40,851 What's the name of the movie? The Biggest Asshole... 160 00:05:40,935 --> 00:05:42,726 -... That Ever Roamed the Earth? -Larry: Oh, I like that. 161 00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,434 -(laughing) -Yeah, that's, that's good. 162 00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:46,351 -I'll tell Hobe. -That's good. 163 00:05:46,434 --> 00:05:49,226 You're a great actor, but this could be the end. 164 00:05:49,309 --> 00:05:50,518 So what are you doing? 165 00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:52,267 You know Michelle, the CEO... 166 00:05:52,351 --> 00:05:53,976 -...I'm dating? -Yeah, I know she's a CEO. 167 00:05:54,059 --> 00:05:56,351 Well, I gotta go furniture shopping with her today. 168 00:05:56,434 --> 00:05:58,142 Furniture shopping? 169 00:05:58,226 --> 00:05:59,393 Yeah, but I gotta really get going. 170 00:05:59,476 --> 00:06:01,351 -Larry: Okay. -Why don't we have a meal? 171 00:06:01,434 --> 00:06:02,685 We haven't had dinner in a while. 172 00:06:02,768 --> 00:06:04,184 Yeah, let's do it. Let's have dinner. 173 00:06:04,267 --> 00:06:06,643 -Can, uh, Michelle come? -No. 174 00:06:06,726 --> 00:06:08,810 Listen, I-- I really want her to come. I-- 175 00:06:08,893 --> 00:06:10,351 I really would appreciate it. 176 00:06:10,434 --> 00:06:12,685 See? See what I'm saying with the "appreciate"? 177 00:06:12,768 --> 00:06:14,726 -I'm finally starting to get it. I see what you're saying. Yes. -Huh? You see it? 178 00:06:14,810 --> 00:06:16,142 Richard: What are you talking about? 179 00:06:16,226 --> 00:06:18,893 I don't succumb to "appreciate." 180 00:06:18,976 --> 00:06:21,226 I'm not gonna bring her. For you, okay? 181 00:06:21,309 --> 00:06:22,726 -Larry: Yeah. -To honor our friendship. 182 00:06:22,810 --> 00:06:24,976 -But she's gonna give me shit for it. -Larry: So what? 183 00:06:25,059 --> 00:06:26,768 You're gonna pay down the line for this. 184 00:06:26,851 --> 00:06:29,476 -You text me where you want to meet, asshole. -Okay. 185 00:06:32,101 --> 00:06:34,142 Thank you. Thank you so much. 186 00:06:34,226 --> 00:06:35,393 -Oh, sure. -That was quick. 187 00:06:35,476 --> 00:06:37,893 -I feel so much better. -I'm sure you do. 188 00:06:37,976 --> 00:06:39,559 -Get this off me. -Okay. 189 00:06:39,643 --> 00:06:41,976 -What do I owe you? -You owe me nothing. 190 00:06:42,059 --> 00:06:44,851 -Nothing. Oh, boy. -Larry: No. I insist. 191 00:06:44,935 --> 00:06:47,768 -Yeah. -Thank you. That piss was worth $10, easy. 192 00:06:47,851 --> 00:06:50,685 Well, see ya, man. I mean, look what you did. 193 00:06:50,768 --> 00:06:52,518 Yeah. 194 00:06:52,601 --> 00:06:54,518 A $10 piss. 195 00:06:56,351 --> 00:06:59,768 -Mm. Mm. -And he offered me $10 to take a piss. 196 00:06:59,851 --> 00:07:02,184 -Wow. -And I'm thinking... 197 00:07:02,267 --> 00:07:04,351 what a great idea for a business. 198 00:07:04,434 --> 00:07:06,976 You relieve people who have jobs 199 00:07:07,059 --> 00:07:08,935 where they can't use a bathroom. 200 00:07:09,017 --> 00:07:11,559 Toll booth collectors, shoe shine stands, 201 00:07:11,643 --> 00:07:13,142 parking garage attendants. 202 00:07:13,226 --> 00:07:15,726 They contact you on your phone, it's an app, 203 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:18,559 and then you go down and man the store, 204 00:07:18,643 --> 00:07:19,810 when they go to the bathroom. 205 00:07:19,893 --> 00:07:21,393 Do you know how many times I've peed 206 00:07:21,476 --> 00:07:22,810 in a fuckin' Gatorade bottle 207 00:07:22,893 --> 00:07:24,393 when I couldn't find a fuckin' bathroom? 208 00:07:24,476 --> 00:07:25,976 Plenty of fuckin' times. 209 00:07:26,059 --> 00:07:27,101 Mm-hmm. 210 00:07:27,184 --> 00:07:28,768 And know how many times I forgot 211 00:07:28,851 --> 00:07:30,226 I peed in that Gatorade bottle 212 00:07:30,309 --> 00:07:32,518 and drank that shit? Once. 213 00:07:33,059 --> 00:07:34,518 That's a fuckin' good idea. 214 00:07:34,601 --> 00:07:35,768 Thanks for sharing that story. 215 00:07:35,851 --> 00:07:37,184 This could be the pee Amazon. 216 00:07:37,267 --> 00:07:39,351 -You know? This, this is big. -This could be big. 217 00:07:39,434 --> 00:07:40,559 -This could be very big. -Every fuckin' where. 218 00:07:40,643 --> 00:07:41,976 -Yeah. -Very big. We need a name. 219 00:07:42,059 --> 00:07:43,810 -Poober. -Poober! 220 00:07:43,893 --> 00:07:45,976 -Meh. It's too close to Uber. -Meh. 221 00:07:46,059 --> 00:07:47,643 I got something. 222 00:07:47,726 --> 00:07:49,017 "Gotta Go." 223 00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:51,142 -Like that. That's catchy as hell. -You like that? 224 00:07:51,226 --> 00:07:54,351 ♪ ♪ 225 00:08:01,267 --> 00:08:02,726 (police siren in distance) 226 00:08:03,559 --> 00:08:05,726 (doorbell rings) 227 00:08:07,518 --> 00:08:10,101 -Oh. Hey! -Hey, Becky. 228 00:08:10,184 --> 00:08:12,559 Can I talk to you for a minute? 229 00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:15,393 Yeah. Okay. Come on. 230 00:08:15,976 --> 00:08:17,726 Larry: (scoffs) Wow. 231 00:08:17,810 --> 00:08:19,726 What, did you have a party in here? 232 00:08:19,810 --> 00:08:22,226 Nope. Nope. Just me. 233 00:08:22,309 --> 00:08:24,059 Can I make you something to drink? 234 00:08:24,768 --> 00:08:26,267 Uh, no, thanks. 235 00:08:26,351 --> 00:08:28,017 Okay. 236 00:08:28,101 --> 00:08:30,476 You know, you're trying to sell a house. 237 00:08:30,559 --> 00:08:31,935 -It's-- (laughs) -Oh. 238 00:08:32,017 --> 00:08:33,976 It's gonna be hard to sell a house like, like this. 239 00:08:34,059 --> 00:08:35,935 I gotta tidy up a bit, I know. 240 00:08:36,017 --> 00:08:38,393 You know, it's all based on first impressions. 241 00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:40,726 -People come over, they're gonna see this... -Yeah. 242 00:08:40,810 --> 00:08:42,059 ...and then no one's gonna buy it. 243 00:08:42,142 --> 00:08:44,101 All right. I'll take care of it, Dad. 244 00:08:44,184 --> 00:08:46,101 -(laughs) Oh. Yeah. -Hey. 245 00:08:46,184 --> 00:08:48,976 Heard about the whole Cheryl-Ted blowup in Mexico. 246 00:08:49,059 --> 00:08:50,810 -Oh. -(laughs) Oh, boy. 247 00:08:50,893 --> 00:08:53,059 -Little bit of ash. Sorry. -Yeah, that was... 248 00:08:53,142 --> 00:08:55,184 -That was wild. -Yeah, that made me happy. 249 00:08:55,267 --> 00:08:57,017 -Oh, you-- Really? -Little Miss Perfect. Yeah. 250 00:08:57,101 --> 00:08:58,935 It made me feel better about myself. 251 00:08:59,601 --> 00:09:01,643 Boy, you two used to get along so well. 252 00:09:01,726 --> 00:09:03,643 Yeah, well, not anymore. 253 00:09:03,726 --> 00:09:05,976 You sure I can't get you something to drink? 254 00:09:06,059 --> 00:09:07,976 No. What are you drinking in the daytime for? 255 00:09:08,059 --> 00:09:10,393 -Who drinks in the daytime? -People who go to brunch. 256 00:09:10,476 --> 00:09:11,893 Well, we're not at brunch. 257 00:09:11,976 --> 00:09:13,851 Okay. So I am not having a mimosa. 258 00:09:14,393 --> 00:09:17,309 -All right. -What, what, what do you-- What do you want? 259 00:09:17,393 --> 00:09:19,017 -What, what's going on? -Okay. Well, 260 00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:20,726 obviously, I heard you're selling the house. 261 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,351 Yeah. (clears throat) 262 00:09:22,434 --> 00:09:24,768 You know, the thing is, Becky, 263 00:09:24,851 --> 00:09:27,851 you know, I did buy you the house, so... 264 00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:29,893 -I know. -It's kind of my house. 265 00:09:29,976 --> 00:09:32,768 -No. No, you-- -I paid for the house. 266 00:09:32,851 --> 00:09:35,893 -And I thought it was only fair and reasonable-- -Okay. 267 00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:39,017 I'm gonna let you keep the profits 268 00:09:39,101 --> 00:09:40,434 to, to the house. 269 00:09:40,518 --> 00:09:43,393 But of course, I'll get my investment back. 270 00:09:43,476 --> 00:09:46,476 No, no, no. No. 271 00:09:46,851 --> 00:09:50,643 -Hey. Say I gave you $700,000-- -It's my house. 272 00:09:51,935 --> 00:09:54,434 Please don't do this to me, okay? 273 00:09:54,518 --> 00:09:56,434 Please don't do this. This is my house. 274 00:09:56,518 --> 00:09:57,935 It's all I have left. 275 00:09:58,017 --> 00:10:01,810 (sobbing): Oh, my God. Please don't do this to me. 276 00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:04,017 I, I lost my job. 277 00:10:04,101 --> 00:10:05,643 And my boyfriend broke up with me. 278 00:10:05,851 --> 00:10:07,643 -Geez. Don't cry-- -He was from Poland, 279 00:10:07,726 --> 00:10:10,893 and it turns out all he wanted was a visa. 280 00:10:10,976 --> 00:10:13,935 -(sobbing) -Okay, you... 281 00:10:14,017 --> 00:10:16,976 Forget, forget it. You, you, you can keep the house. 282 00:10:17,059 --> 00:10:19,101 You can keep all the money, keep, keep the profits. 283 00:10:19,184 --> 00:10:21,059 -Keep, keep it all. -(Becky panting) 284 00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:24,559 -Is this a joke? -No. No. No. 285 00:10:24,643 --> 00:10:25,893 -You mean it? -Keep it all. 286 00:10:25,976 --> 00:10:28,893 -Thank you, Larry. -Keep it. You can have it. 287 00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:31,059 Yeah. It's okay. 288 00:10:33,810 --> 00:10:35,893 ♪ 289 00:10:37,935 --> 00:10:39,142 -Really? -Yeah. 290 00:10:39,226 --> 00:10:40,643 -Wow. -I know. 291 00:10:40,726 --> 00:10:42,976 I think I always had a secret little crush on her. 292 00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,351 -Me too. -Yeah. 293 00:10:44,434 --> 00:10:46,267 It was in the daytime. 294 00:10:46,351 --> 00:10:48,017 I love daytime sex. 295 00:10:48,101 --> 00:10:49,601 You're filled with energy. 296 00:10:49,685 --> 00:10:52,393 -Yes! I mean, nighttime, you're so close to going to bed. -Filled! 297 00:10:52,476 --> 00:10:54,309 -Right! -Why are you doing that before you go to bed? 298 00:10:54,393 --> 00:10:56,142 -The whole thing should be all flipped around. -I know. 299 00:10:56,226 --> 00:10:57,726 -It should never happen at night. -The daytime. 300 00:10:57,810 --> 00:10:58,893 -Always during the day. -Yes. 301 00:10:58,976 --> 00:11:00,434 Ah. It's Jon. 302 00:11:00,518 --> 00:11:02,643 -What's going on? -Nothing. We're just going out to dinner. 303 00:11:02,726 --> 00:11:05,142 -Is that working out okay? -Yeah. Yeah. 304 00:11:05,226 --> 00:11:07,184 Cheryl: Where is he? 305 00:11:09,434 --> 00:11:12,393 Did you have sex with my sister Becky? 306 00:11:12,476 --> 00:11:14,059 Who said that? 307 00:11:14,768 --> 00:11:15,726 Becky! 308 00:11:15,810 --> 00:11:16,976 What did she say? 309 00:11:17,059 --> 00:11:19,226 She said, "Guess who I fucked?" 310 00:11:19,309 --> 00:11:22,017 -Huh... -Oh, my God. 311 00:11:22,101 --> 00:11:24,893 -He did. -Oh, my God! 312 00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:26,851 -What, what are you thinking? -I was there, 313 00:11:26,935 --> 00:11:30,518 and she was, she-she was upset, she was sobbing, 314 00:11:30,601 --> 00:11:32,518 and I consoled her, and... 315 00:11:32,601 --> 00:11:34,351 And, you know, it just, it happened. 316 00:11:34,434 --> 00:11:36,101 -Larry: That's why. -Yeah, what about the money? 317 00:11:36,184 --> 00:11:37,476 I told her, uh, 318 00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:39,351 she didn't have to, uh, share the money with me. 319 00:11:39,434 --> 00:11:41,685 -Oh, my God. -That's, that's like prostitution. 320 00:11:41,768 --> 00:11:44,226 -It was consensual sex between two adults! -Oh, my God. 321 00:11:44,309 --> 00:11:47,017 -There's nothing wrong with that, as far as I know! -Susie: She was vulnerable. 322 00:11:47,101 --> 00:11:49,142 We were all in the living room over there 323 00:11:49,226 --> 00:11:50,685 when you gave a big speech, 324 00:11:50,768 --> 00:11:52,393 and you were gonna march over there 325 00:11:52,476 --> 00:11:54,476 -and get your money back for that house. -I did march over there, 326 00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:55,935 and then I felt sorry for her. 327 00:11:56,017 --> 00:11:57,393 -Oh, my-- -Yeah, you marched over there, 328 00:11:57,476 --> 00:11:58,768 you got a fuckin' blow job, 329 00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,226 and then you gave the house away. 330 00:12:00,309 --> 00:12:02,184 There's a million fuckin' women in the world. 331 00:12:02,267 --> 00:12:05,226 -You have to have sex with Cheryl's sister? -What? 332 00:12:05,309 --> 00:12:06,851 -Oh. Hey, Jonny. -(Jon laughs) 333 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,685 Uh, yeah. The door was ajar. 334 00:12:08,768 --> 00:12:09,851 The fuck are you doing in my house? 335 00:12:09,935 --> 00:12:11,393 What is Jon Hamm doing in my house? 336 00:12:11,476 --> 00:12:13,476 -He's, he's, um... -Hold on. Yeah, I should get this down. 337 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:14,685 He's starring in a movie, 338 00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,226 and he's kind of, you know, shadowing me. 339 00:12:16,309 --> 00:12:17,851 He's bas-- The character's based on me. 340 00:12:17,935 --> 00:12:20,226 So, the character is a disgusting pervert? 341 00:12:20,309 --> 00:12:22,059 That's good. (laughs) 342 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,059 It's actually not funny, Jon Hamm. 343 00:12:24,309 --> 00:12:26,059 Oh, no, no. I'm not here. Act like I'm not here. 344 00:12:26,142 --> 00:12:27,893 -I'm just a fly on the wall. Just, uh-- -Larry: Hey. 345 00:12:27,976 --> 00:12:29,393 -New sneaks? -Oh, yeah. 346 00:12:29,476 --> 00:12:31,017 -Good, right? How comfortable? -Love 'em. 347 00:12:31,101 --> 00:12:33,601 -Yeah. -Cheryl: Hey, guys? This is not the time, okay? 348 00:12:33,685 --> 00:12:35,226 It's my house, you're in my house. 349 00:12:35,309 --> 00:12:37,017 -Jon: I'm terribly sorry. -You crossed a line... 350 00:12:37,101 --> 00:12:38,601 -...this time. -You crossed a line! 351 00:12:38,685 --> 00:12:40,142 -Oh, my God. -Larry: I didn't cross a line. 352 00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:42,267 I went over the line that you already crossed. 353 00:12:42,351 --> 00:12:43,601 -What? -Larry: He's a friend. 354 00:12:43,685 --> 00:12:45,893 Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry. Ted and Larry, 355 00:12:45,976 --> 00:12:48,476 it's just like you and your sister. It's the same thing. 356 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,935 -It's nowhere close. -It is not close. 357 00:12:51,017 --> 00:12:53,935 It is close! She slept with my friend, Ted Danson. 358 00:12:54,017 --> 00:12:55,768 -Okay? -Larry: Okay. That's fine. 359 00:12:55,851 --> 00:12:58,267 -But I can't sleep with her sister? -It feels like the same thing. 360 00:12:58,351 --> 00:13:01,434 -Because Ted is like a sister to Larry. -Larry: Yeah! 361 00:13:01,518 --> 00:13:03,434 No. It's a relationship with Ted. 362 00:13:03,518 --> 00:13:05,393 -It's not, I didn't just go have s-- -Larry: Oh, it's a relationship? 363 00:13:05,476 --> 00:13:07,184 Who's to say that I'm not gonna have a relationship 364 00:13:07,267 --> 00:13:08,685 -with Becky, what do you mean? -Cheryl: Oh, my God. 365 00:13:08,768 --> 00:13:11,142 Susie: You know how jealous Becky is of Cheryl. 366 00:13:11,226 --> 00:13:14,810 You know that Becky thinks of herself as Princess Margaret, 367 00:13:14,893 --> 00:13:16,768 and that Cheryl is Queen Elizabeth. 368 00:13:16,851 --> 00:13:18,935 -Yeah. Right. -Yeah. Oh, and you think you're Prince Philip? 369 00:13:19,017 --> 00:13:20,142 Is that what you're saying? 370 00:13:20,226 --> 00:13:21,643 -Yeah. -Cheryl: Oh, my God. 371 00:13:21,726 --> 00:13:24,643 Prince Philip would put a fucking gun to his head 372 00:13:24,726 --> 00:13:26,935 before he had you representing him. 373 00:13:27,017 --> 00:13:28,976 Again, real quick, are we talking about The Crown now? 374 00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:30,601 -Yeah. -How good is that show? 375 00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:32,976 You know what, Jon Hamm, it was nice meeting you. 376 00:13:33,059 --> 00:13:34,643 But, really, this is between us. 377 00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:37,434 You know what, I've heard enough. Come on, Jonny. Let's go eat. 378 00:13:37,518 --> 00:13:39,101 -I'll call you. -You've had enough... 379 00:13:39,184 --> 00:13:40,559 -...you petty piece of shit. -Thank you so much, by the way. 380 00:13:40,643 --> 00:13:42,601 Susie: Yeah, it's great. It's great. 381 00:13:42,685 --> 00:13:45,184 -Go, go be him, asshole. -Thank you. 382 00:13:49,351 --> 00:13:51,476 -Aw, man. -Larry: What are you doing? 383 00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:54,559 You just plopped that into your, into your water? 384 00:13:54,643 --> 00:13:57,184 Yeah, I plopped it in because I like lime with my water. 385 00:13:57,267 --> 00:13:59,685 I know but they, they don't wash these rinds. 386 00:13:59,768 --> 00:14:01,476 You gotta have some trust in people. 387 00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:04,184 You ever see signs in bathrooms, "Wash before leaving"? 388 00:14:04,267 --> 00:14:05,893 It doesn't matter if their hands are clean. 389 00:14:05,976 --> 00:14:07,518 -Richard: They don't have to-- -The rind's dirty. 390 00:14:07,601 --> 00:14:10,059 -You get a disease. -Aah, please. 391 00:14:10,142 --> 00:14:11,685 It's bullshit. 392 00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:14,017 And I'm really irked about something, man. 393 00:14:14,101 --> 00:14:15,518 Did you say "irked"? 394 00:14:16,101 --> 00:14:18,518 -Yeah, irked. -I never heard you use that word before, but go ahead. 395 00:14:18,601 --> 00:14:21,685 I'm irked because-- with all due respect-- 396 00:14:21,768 --> 00:14:23,309 Jon is here, and Michelle is-- 397 00:14:23,393 --> 00:14:24,893 you wouldn't let Michelle come to dinner. 398 00:14:24,976 --> 00:14:26,851 I have to watch my Ps and Qs. 399 00:14:26,935 --> 00:14:28,643 I don't wanna watch Ps and Qs. 400 00:14:28,726 --> 00:14:30,059 Do you wanna watch Ps and Qs? 401 00:14:30,142 --> 00:14:31,935 What are you, Shari Lewis? Where's Lamb Chop? 402 00:14:32,017 --> 00:14:33,643 -In your pants? -(laughing) 403 00:14:33,726 --> 00:14:37,017 -Look, she's irked. -She's irked. 404 00:14:37,101 --> 00:14:38,518 So you're both irked? 405 00:14:38,601 --> 00:14:42,184 She's so angry at me that I had to, you know, make an excuse. 406 00:14:42,267 --> 00:14:43,559 Oh. What did you say? 407 00:14:43,643 --> 00:14:45,351 I said you had a bleeding rectum, 408 00:14:45,434 --> 00:14:47,101 and that you were worried and scared, 409 00:14:47,184 --> 00:14:48,851 and you needed to talk to me alone, 410 00:14:48,935 --> 00:14:51,184 and you'd be embarrassed if she heard it. 411 00:14:51,267 --> 00:14:53,726 Are you out of your fucking mind? 412 00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,601 -Well... -You couldn't think of a better excuse than that? 413 00:14:55,685 --> 00:14:57,518 You should have called me. I got thousands of 'em. 414 00:14:57,601 --> 00:14:59,935 -I can't even face her now. -Why not? 415 00:15:00,017 --> 00:15:02,059 Nobody respects a person with a bleeding rectum. 416 00:15:02,142 --> 00:15:04,226 You think Lincoln could have prosecuted a war 417 00:15:04,309 --> 00:15:06,017 if people knew he had a bleeding rectum? 418 00:15:06,101 --> 00:15:07,893 And by the way, when you come to the dinner party 419 00:15:07,976 --> 00:15:09,559 in a few days, I would not mention it. 420 00:15:09,643 --> 00:15:11,351 Who mentions that at a dinner party? 421 00:15:11,434 --> 00:15:13,893 Do I still have it or-or am I over it? 422 00:15:13,976 --> 00:15:15,976 No, I left it open. 423 00:15:16,059 --> 00:15:17,976 Sorry to hear that. 424 00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:19,976 Jon: I also-- Can I say, 425 00:15:20,059 --> 00:15:21,601 we ordered this kind of for the table, 426 00:15:21,685 --> 00:15:23,768 and I feel like you've gone way over your 427 00:15:23,851 --> 00:15:25,309 appetizer allotment at this point. 428 00:15:25,393 --> 00:15:27,559 -My allotment? -Jon: Well, there's three of us. 429 00:15:27,643 --> 00:15:30,434 -We each get a third. -Who makes up that fuckin' rule? 430 00:15:30,518 --> 00:15:32,142 Both: It's an unwritten rule. 431 00:15:32,226 --> 00:15:33,643 Oh, my God. 432 00:15:33,726 --> 00:15:35,393 There's two Larry Davids. 433 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,267 Holy shit. 434 00:15:37,351 --> 00:15:38,685 Pretty good. 435 00:15:38,768 --> 00:15:41,309 Pretty, pretty good. 436 00:15:44,226 --> 00:15:45,893 Both: Aah. 437 00:15:47,643 --> 00:15:48,976 (knocking on door) 438 00:15:51,309 --> 00:15:53,893 -She threw me out. -She threw you out? 439 00:15:53,976 --> 00:15:56,184 -Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep. -Why? 440 00:15:56,267 --> 00:15:59,685 Well, she doesn't like the way I defended you being with Becky. 441 00:15:59,768 --> 00:16:02,559 -Come on in. Make yourself at home. -I will. 442 00:16:02,643 --> 00:16:03,810 I, I gotta go. 443 00:16:03,893 --> 00:16:05,309 -Where are you going? -I'm going to Becky's. 444 00:16:05,393 --> 00:16:08,309 Oh. If you keep going to Becky's, 445 00:16:08,393 --> 00:16:10,184 I can't go home. 446 00:16:10,267 --> 00:16:11,643 Keep going to Becky's. 447 00:16:11,726 --> 00:16:13,559 -I'll see you later. -Bedroom's upstairs. 448 00:16:13,643 --> 00:16:15,309 -Second one. -Got it. 449 00:16:15,393 --> 00:16:17,184 Okay. 450 00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:19,518 (clattering) 451 00:16:22,726 --> 00:16:26,184 ♪ ♪ 452 00:16:31,393 --> 00:16:34,309 (whistling) 453 00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:36,893 (clattering) 454 00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:41,351 No. 455 00:16:43,935 --> 00:16:46,601 ♪ ♪ 456 00:16:49,935 --> 00:16:51,434 You're welcome. 457 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,851 (both laughing) 458 00:17:01,935 --> 00:17:05,476 We did it. We did it! 459 00:17:08,017 --> 00:17:09,851 You didn't expect an airport drop-off, did you? 460 00:17:09,935 --> 00:17:12,434 -Nope. Nobody expects an airport drop-off anymore. -Ah? Airport drop-off. 461 00:17:12,518 --> 00:17:14,935 -All right, well, have fun skiing. -I will. 462 00:17:15,017 --> 00:17:16,518 I'll text you when I land. 463 00:17:16,601 --> 00:17:18,017 -Eh, not necessary. -I didn't really want to. 464 00:17:18,101 --> 00:17:19,601 -Yeah. -It's like an extra, unnecessary step. 465 00:17:19,685 --> 00:17:22,142 -I'll find out if you're dead. -Yeah, yeah. You'll know. 466 00:17:22,226 --> 00:17:23,685 -Yeah. -You got big plans for when I'm gone? 467 00:17:23,768 --> 00:17:25,351 I'm gonna help a friend out 468 00:17:25,434 --> 00:17:27,059 with his, uh, with his new business. 469 00:17:27,142 --> 00:17:28,267 -Cool. -Yeah. 470 00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:30,184 -Thank you. -Bye. 471 00:17:31,601 --> 00:17:34,101 Leon: He told her you had a bleeding rectum? 472 00:17:34,184 --> 00:17:36,226 Yeah. Now I gotta walk around 473 00:17:36,309 --> 00:17:38,559 knowing this woman thinks I have a bleeding rectum. 474 00:17:38,643 --> 00:17:39,685 I can't live like that. 475 00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,226 'Cause once that starts to spread, 476 00:17:41,309 --> 00:17:42,393 she's gonna tell everybody. 477 00:17:42,476 --> 00:17:43,768 And the worst part is, 478 00:17:43,851 --> 00:17:45,726 no one's ever gonna know that the bleeding stopped. 479 00:17:45,810 --> 00:17:48,267 People are thinkin', how does he stop the bleedin'? 480 00:17:48,351 --> 00:17:49,559 Is he wearin' a pad? 481 00:17:49,643 --> 00:17:51,351 Is he, is he a little boy, a little Dutch boy 482 00:17:51,434 --> 00:17:52,601 with his finger in his ass, 483 00:17:52,685 --> 00:17:54,643 with wooden shoes on, with socks to his knee, 484 00:17:54,726 --> 00:17:56,893 little shorts on, little vest, little top hat on, 485 00:17:56,976 --> 00:17:58,726 with his finger in your damn rectum? 486 00:17:58,810 --> 00:18:00,393 Right. Right. 487 00:18:00,476 --> 00:18:02,393 Hey. There's a parking lot. 488 00:18:02,476 --> 00:18:04,059 -Woo, let's go. -Yeah, let's do it. 489 00:18:04,142 --> 00:18:07,559 (laughing) Get to work, baby. "Gotta Go"! 490 00:18:08,685 --> 00:18:10,101 Can I help you guys? 491 00:18:10,184 --> 00:18:12,434 We got, uh, we got a little business proposition for you. 492 00:18:12,518 --> 00:18:13,601 My name's Larry. 493 00:18:13,685 --> 00:18:15,017 -Hey, Larry. -This is Leon. 494 00:18:15,101 --> 00:18:16,768 -I'm Bill. -Here. Here you go, Bill. 495 00:18:16,851 --> 00:18:18,059 -"Gotta Go"? -That's right. 496 00:18:18,142 --> 00:18:20,101 You ever sit in that booth at this time of day 497 00:18:20,184 --> 00:18:21,893 and gotta go to the bathroom, what do you do? 498 00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,142 I just stay in the booth. 499 00:18:23,226 --> 00:18:24,976 I can't go anywhere, just gotta hold it in. 500 00:18:25,059 --> 00:18:26,976 Until now. For a dollar a minute, 501 00:18:27,059 --> 00:18:28,851 five dollar minimum, I will sit in that booth 502 00:18:28,935 --> 00:18:30,434 while you go and use the bathroom. 503 00:18:30,518 --> 00:18:32,142 -You're serious? -Very serious. 504 00:18:32,226 --> 00:18:34,267 -Right now, I really have to go. -Larry: Go! 505 00:18:34,351 --> 00:18:35,434 Leon: Go ahead, brother. 506 00:18:35,518 --> 00:18:37,059 -I'll be right back. -My man. 507 00:18:37,142 --> 00:18:38,768 -Thank you. -My man, I got you! 508 00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:40,351 My man, you gotta go! 509 00:18:40,434 --> 00:18:41,643 Ha-ha! 510 00:18:41,726 --> 00:18:43,434 -Look at this shit, Larry. Woo! -Huh? Told ya. 511 00:18:43,518 --> 00:18:46,476 -Did I tell ya? Huh? I told ya! -You fuckin' told me, Larry. 512 00:18:48,726 --> 00:18:50,893 -You order a "Gotta Go"? -Yes, I gotta go. 513 00:18:50,976 --> 00:18:52,476 -Okay. You go. -Thank you. 514 00:18:52,559 --> 00:18:54,393 -Before I gotta go. Get on out of here. -Okay. 515 00:18:54,851 --> 00:18:57,518 -Gino! Go handle your business. -Bye. 516 00:19:01,559 --> 00:19:03,267 -(spits) -Hey. Excuse me. 517 00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:05,976 -You just spat on my shoe. -It's a fuckin' spit shine. 518 00:19:06,059 --> 00:19:07,309 -It's a-- Stop! -(spits) 519 00:19:07,393 --> 00:19:08,851 Stop! Stop spitting on my shoe. 520 00:19:08,935 --> 00:19:10,226 I'm not, I'm not paying for this. 521 00:19:10,309 --> 00:19:11,851 -Okay? -Your tips are appreciated. 522 00:19:11,935 --> 00:19:14,768 Give me a fuckin' break. I'm not giving you a cent. 523 00:19:14,851 --> 00:19:17,935 Fuck it, then. I don't give a fuck. I don't work here. 524 00:19:18,017 --> 00:19:20,184 Woo! 525 00:19:20,267 --> 00:19:22,518 Ha-ha! Woo! 526 00:19:22,601 --> 00:19:24,726 ♪ ♪ 527 00:19:27,559 --> 00:19:28,976 Thank you. 528 00:19:29,059 --> 00:19:30,226 -Thank you for having me. -Thank you. 529 00:19:30,309 --> 00:19:31,851 -Yes, indeed. -My pleasure to have you. 530 00:19:31,935 --> 00:19:33,351 -And by the way, your home is lovely. -You're welcome. 531 00:19:33,434 --> 00:19:35,017 I should be complimenting you, too, because-- 532 00:19:35,101 --> 00:19:36,601 Richard: Well, I did pick out, 533 00:19:36,685 --> 00:19:38,142 I would say, a majority of the stuff. 534 00:19:38,226 --> 00:19:40,142 Jon: Well, I can tell. Great taste. 535 00:19:40,226 --> 00:19:41,726 Michelle (muttering): He's sitting down, Richard. 536 00:19:41,810 --> 00:19:42,893 Richard, he's sitting down. I can't-- 537 00:19:42,976 --> 00:19:44,559 He's gotta sit somewhere. 538 00:19:44,643 --> 00:19:46,184 -I can't-- I don't want-- -You know what? 539 00:19:46,267 --> 00:19:48,351 You can't sit on the arm. It's too thin. 540 00:19:48,434 --> 00:19:50,893 -No, I like a thick, cushy arm. -I agree with you. 541 00:19:50,976 --> 00:19:54,017 Excuse me, everyone, but dinner is ready. 542 00:19:54,101 --> 00:19:56,184 -Please follow me into the dining room. -Okay. 543 00:19:56,267 --> 00:19:57,601 This way. 544 00:19:57,685 --> 00:20:00,768 We have assigned seating, so everyone find your name. 545 00:20:01,184 --> 00:20:03,643 -Jon: Here we are. -Welcome. Here we are. 546 00:20:03,726 --> 00:20:05,184 Richard, darling, this way. 547 00:20:05,267 --> 00:20:06,935 -Richard: Thank you, babe. -Michelle: Next to me. 548 00:20:07,017 --> 00:20:08,351 -Thank you. -Michelle. 549 00:20:08,434 --> 00:20:11,017 Wh-what's with the, uh, wooden chair here? 550 00:20:11,101 --> 00:20:12,768 Oh, you know, I'm so sorry. 551 00:20:12,851 --> 00:20:14,893 I-I-- This set only comes with seven chairs. 552 00:20:14,976 --> 00:20:16,685 -Seven chairs. -Richard: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 553 00:20:16,768 --> 00:20:18,393 -How unusual. -Richard: I was with her. 554 00:20:18,476 --> 00:20:20,810 -I never heard of that before. -Yeah. You know what? It was odd. 555 00:20:20,893 --> 00:20:23,351 It was weird, but I, I loved them, so, I went with it. 556 00:20:23,434 --> 00:20:25,059 -Ah. -Richard: Hey, we're having a dinner. 557 00:20:25,142 --> 00:20:27,434 -Come on. Let's enjoy ourselves. -Okay, sure. You're right. 558 00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:29,434 -Let's all enjoy. Let's enjoy. -Yes! 559 00:20:29,518 --> 00:20:31,017 -Michelle: Let's enjoy. -Let's enjoy. 560 00:20:31,101 --> 00:20:32,810 -That's the spirit. That's the spirit. -There we go. 561 00:20:32,893 --> 00:20:34,309 -Yes, let's enjoy. -Bless the new table. 562 00:20:34,393 --> 00:20:36,726 -About time. -Can I, uh, talk to you in the kitchen... 563 00:20:36,810 --> 00:20:37,851 -...for a second? -Who, me? 564 00:20:37,935 --> 00:20:39,017 -Yeah. -What now? 565 00:20:39,101 --> 00:20:40,810 You got me sitting in that wooden chair? 566 00:20:40,893 --> 00:20:43,101 -It's embarrassing. -It's new furniture. 567 00:20:43,184 --> 00:20:45,559 She's afraid if you sit on it, you're gonna ruin it. 568 00:20:45,643 --> 00:20:47,267 I don't have a bleeding rectum. Okay? 569 00:20:47,351 --> 00:20:48,768 And even if I did, 570 00:20:48,851 --> 00:20:50,393 it's not gonna bleed onto the chair. 571 00:20:50,476 --> 00:20:53,142 How stupid! You could have said a million different things. 572 00:20:53,226 --> 00:20:54,768 A rectum came to my mind first. 573 00:20:54,851 --> 00:20:57,267 You could have at least said I was better, that I was over it. 574 00:20:57,351 --> 00:20:58,935 -I forgot. -All right. 575 00:20:59,017 --> 00:21:00,101 The chair's in the house. 576 00:21:00,184 --> 00:21:02,518 You tell the CEO that I want that chair. 577 00:21:02,601 --> 00:21:04,017 You can't get one. 578 00:21:04,101 --> 00:21:05,434 If I don't get a normal chair, 579 00:21:05,518 --> 00:21:08,267 I'm gonna blow this bullshit bleeding rectum story 580 00:21:08,351 --> 00:21:10,184 sky high. Okay? 581 00:21:10,267 --> 00:21:11,851 So get me a normal chair. 582 00:21:11,935 --> 00:21:13,476 I'd really appreciate it. 583 00:21:13,559 --> 00:21:15,267 All right, you'll get the chair. 584 00:21:15,351 --> 00:21:16,768 -Okay? -Michelle: That's great. 585 00:21:16,851 --> 00:21:18,851 Let's get the salads, and... 586 00:21:18,935 --> 00:21:21,393 egg rolls out. We'll wait about 15 minutes for dinner? 587 00:21:21,476 --> 00:21:23,059 Hey, Michelle. Hi, honey. 588 00:21:23,142 --> 00:21:25,601 -Hi. What's going on? -Listen, I spoke to Larry, 589 00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:27,726 and he's really embarrassed, and, uh... 590 00:21:27,810 --> 00:21:29,267 you gotta get him the chair. 591 00:21:29,351 --> 00:21:31,476 -Oh, no. Absolutely not. -You have to get him a regular chair. 592 00:21:31,559 --> 00:21:33,184 No, he's not-- he's not sitting in the chair. 593 00:21:33,267 --> 00:21:36,226 -No. -He said he'd really appreciate it. 594 00:21:36,726 --> 00:21:39,393 Really? He said that? He said he would appreciate it? 595 00:21:39,476 --> 00:21:41,476 Yeah, I wouldn't lie to you. 596 00:21:41,559 --> 00:21:43,142 Okay. Okay, fine. Fine, fine. 597 00:21:43,226 --> 00:21:45,226 Let him, let him sit in the chair, but... 598 00:21:45,309 --> 00:21:47,643 if he bleeds in my new chair, 599 00:21:47,726 --> 00:21:49,726 you're in big fuckin' trouble. 600 00:21:51,309 --> 00:21:52,643 (sighs) 601 00:21:52,726 --> 00:21:54,059 -All: Ooh. -Mm. 602 00:21:54,142 --> 00:21:55,601 Cassie: Okay. So, Jon. 603 00:21:55,685 --> 00:21:58,935 -you're playing a Larry-type character... -Yes. 604 00:21:59,017 --> 00:22:00,434 ...in this movie. So, uh, 605 00:22:00,518 --> 00:22:01,893 what does the character even do? 606 00:22:01,976 --> 00:22:03,810 -He's a sitcom writer. -Cassie: Of course. 607 00:22:03,893 --> 00:22:05,643 Uh, but the whole-- Very successful. The whole thing is, 608 00:22:05,726 --> 00:22:08,476 it turns out that the thing he's most known for, 609 00:22:08,559 --> 00:22:11,017 his big sitcom that he created, 610 00:22:11,101 --> 00:22:13,476 he stole it from an Australian sitcom. 611 00:22:13,559 --> 00:22:15,059 -Larry: What? -The guy's a total fraud. 612 00:22:15,142 --> 00:22:16,226 He stole the idea. 613 00:22:16,309 --> 00:22:17,309 -He stole-- -What? 614 00:22:17,393 --> 00:22:18,685 What do you mean? Stole it? 615 00:22:18,768 --> 00:22:19,768 I didn't steal anything. 616 00:22:19,851 --> 00:22:21,017 No, in the movie, not you. 617 00:22:21,101 --> 00:22:22,726 -It sort of implies that... -Larry: Yeah! 618 00:22:22,810 --> 00:22:24,267 -...their show is stolen. -Larry: Yes! 619 00:22:24,351 --> 00:22:26,017 The character's name is Lawrence Dean. 620 00:22:26,101 --> 00:22:27,685 -Lawrence Dean? What? -It isn't the same as Larry David. 621 00:22:27,768 --> 00:22:31,142 Hey, hey, hey. Guess what I found? I found a chair! 622 00:22:31,226 --> 00:22:32,518 All: Oh! 623 00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:34,226 Yes! Hey! 624 00:22:34,309 --> 00:22:36,893 -What a miracle. -Richard: It was in the garage. 625 00:22:36,976 --> 00:22:38,184 Michelle: How come you didn't tell me? 626 00:22:38,267 --> 00:22:39,601 Richard: I didn't know it was a chair. 627 00:22:39,685 --> 00:22:40,851 -It was all wrapped up. -Ooh. 628 00:22:40,935 --> 00:22:42,184 It was wrapped up in plastic. 629 00:22:42,267 --> 00:22:44,351 I thought it was, uh, my dead grandmother's ghost. 630 00:22:44,434 --> 00:22:47,017 -I didn't know what the fuck it was. -How could you not tell me? 631 00:22:47,101 --> 00:22:48,976 -What a lucky thing. -Richard: Yeah. 632 00:22:49,059 --> 00:22:51,434 Because they didn't know, and they just found it 633 00:22:51,518 --> 00:22:53,851 -in the garage. -It all worked out. Look at that! 634 00:22:53,935 --> 00:22:56,184 -They're very comfortable, very pretty. -Larry: Yeah. 635 00:22:56,267 --> 00:22:58,643 It's very bouncy. It's, it's kind of bouncy. 636 00:22:58,726 --> 00:22:59,851 Larry: Yeah. I love this chair. 637 00:22:59,935 --> 00:23:01,226 Jon: Now we can eat. 638 00:23:01,309 --> 00:23:03,351 -Want more of these? -Larry: Ah. Love Chinese. 639 00:23:03,434 --> 00:23:05,267 Thank you. 640 00:23:06,101 --> 00:23:09,935 You guys, do you pick up the rice bowl and eat it like this? 641 00:23:10,017 --> 00:23:12,643 Or do you start on the table, 642 00:23:12,726 --> 00:23:14,851 and then pick it up, pick the rice up? 643 00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:16,393 You pick up the bowl first. 644 00:23:16,476 --> 00:23:17,851 Oh, you pick it right-- eat it right out of the bowl. 645 00:23:17,935 --> 00:23:19,101 Yeah, eat right out of the bowl. 646 00:23:19,184 --> 00:23:21,017 It's just like eating it over the garbage can. 647 00:23:21,101 --> 00:23:22,893 -Alex: Huh? -Larry: Yeah, yeah. In a way. 648 00:23:22,976 --> 00:23:24,559 Oh, Michelle. 649 00:23:24,643 --> 00:23:27,518 -The walnut shrimp is scrumptious. -Mm. 650 00:23:27,601 --> 00:23:28,768 Scrumptious? 651 00:23:28,851 --> 00:23:30,893 -You think so? -It's really good. 652 00:23:31,559 --> 00:23:33,935 -What are we waiting for? -I mean, come on. Come on. 653 00:23:34,685 --> 00:23:36,434 -Larry: Hey, hey, hey, hey. -What are you doing? 654 00:23:36,518 --> 00:23:38,685 -What are you doing? I want the walnut shrimp? -What are you doing? 655 00:23:38,768 --> 00:23:41,935 Andy: I'm turning the Lazy Susan the way it should be turned. 656 00:23:42,017 --> 00:23:43,810 -In order. -Larry: No, no, no, no, no. 657 00:23:43,893 --> 00:23:46,559 A Lazy Susan is like a roundabout, okay? 658 00:23:46,643 --> 00:23:48,810 I'm sorry, I don't think you're right. 659 00:23:48,893 --> 00:23:50,601 -Cassie: Okay, can I-- -I don't think you know how a roundabout works. 660 00:23:50,685 --> 00:23:52,267 It's first come, first serve. That's a roundabout. 661 00:23:52,351 --> 00:23:54,768 -I do know how a roundabout works. -I don't think you do. 662 00:23:54,851 --> 00:23:57,059 -It works like a Lazy Susan. -Larry: No! 663 00:23:57,142 --> 00:23:58,851 -The cars-- -That's now how a lazy Susan works. 664 00:23:58,935 --> 00:24:00,476 -Can I ask you a favor, please? -It's how a lazy Susan-- 665 00:24:00,559 --> 00:24:02,226 Can I ask you both a favor? 666 00:24:02,309 --> 00:24:05,142 Can you please not use that term "Lazy Susan"? 667 00:24:05,226 --> 00:24:07,935 It's got racist and sexist connotations, 668 00:24:08,017 --> 00:24:09,393 and I'd really prefer 669 00:24:09,476 --> 00:24:11,768 -you just not call it that. -Whoa. 670 00:24:11,851 --> 00:24:13,142 -Larry: Lazy Susan? -Yes. 671 00:24:13,226 --> 00:24:14,810 Who's that racist towards? Susans? 672 00:24:14,893 --> 00:24:16,851 Larry: That's crazy. Where'd you get that? -Cassie: Okay. 673 00:24:16,935 --> 00:24:18,893 I would just like you to not use the term. 674 00:24:18,976 --> 00:24:20,685 You're right. You know what? It should be-- 675 00:24:20,768 --> 00:24:22,726 We should definitely start using the Ambitious Susan. 676 00:24:22,810 --> 00:24:25,101 Yes, yes. Please spin the Indefatigable Susan. 677 00:24:25,184 --> 00:24:28,851 Oh, can we have the Multifaceted Susan my way, please? 678 00:24:29,059 --> 00:24:30,810 Yeah, spin the Industrious Susan. 679 00:24:30,893 --> 00:24:32,976 Ooh, can you spin Ambidextrous Susan, please. 680 00:24:33,059 --> 00:24:34,476 -Oh, the Ambidextrous Susan. -Yes, both ways. 681 00:24:34,559 --> 00:24:36,267 -Both: Both ways. -So funny. You want it? 682 00:24:36,351 --> 00:24:39,351 -You want it? You want your stuff? -Whoa! 683 00:24:39,434 --> 00:24:41,309 ♪ ♪ 684 00:24:41,393 --> 00:24:43,184 -(gasps) -Whoa! 685 00:24:49,267 --> 00:24:50,935 Richard: Oh, man. 686 00:24:51,851 --> 00:24:54,309 -Andy: Oh, boy. -What did you do? 687 00:24:54,393 --> 00:24:56,142 -Larry: What? I, I didn't-- -What did you do? 688 00:24:56,226 --> 00:24:58,976 -She spun the thing around like that. -The thing, it was too fast. 689 00:24:59,059 --> 00:25:02,309 -You wouldn't shut up! -(all arguing) 690 00:25:02,393 --> 00:25:04,851 I don't give a shit! I want you out! 691 00:25:04,935 --> 00:25:07,768 -You're kicking me out? -Michelle: Yeah. And you, 692 00:25:07,851 --> 00:25:09,685 Larry David Junior, you can go, too. 693 00:25:09,768 --> 00:25:11,518 -You're kicking me out. -Yes, Jon Hamm. 694 00:25:11,601 --> 00:25:14,184 -Hey, you're getting kicked out. Look at that, beautiful. -What's up, huh? Hey. 695 00:25:14,267 --> 00:25:16,059 Out! 696 00:25:16,476 --> 00:25:18,768 -All right. -All right. 697 00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:21,017 -Okay. (grunts) -We should, uh... 698 00:25:21,101 --> 00:25:22,768 -Eh. -Eh. 699 00:25:29,518 --> 00:25:31,184 (cell phone rings) 700 00:25:31,267 --> 00:25:32,601 Larry: Hey. 701 00:25:32,685 --> 00:25:34,851 Becky: Larry. Oh, thank God you answered. 702 00:25:34,935 --> 00:25:37,101 I just got in a huge accident on Mount-- 703 00:25:37,184 --> 00:25:38,559 -(screams) -Wha? 704 00:25:38,643 --> 00:25:40,643 Becky (over phone): It was a ski school of children. 705 00:25:40,726 --> 00:25:42,893 They just flew right in front of me. Ow! 706 00:25:42,976 --> 00:25:45,601 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. 707 00:25:45,685 --> 00:25:47,101 They're taking me to a hospital, 708 00:25:47,184 --> 00:25:48,726 and I don't-- I just don't know where it is or... 709 00:25:48,810 --> 00:25:50,976 -I don't know this town. -Okay, don't worry about a thing. 710 00:25:51,059 --> 00:25:52,476 I'll be on the next flight to Denver. 711 00:25:52,559 --> 00:25:54,393 -You would do that for me? -Of course. 712 00:25:54,476 --> 00:25:57,226 Oh, my God, Larry. You really are a prince. 713 00:25:57,309 --> 00:25:59,393 Don't worry. I'm calling my travel agent right now. 714 00:25:59,476 --> 00:26:02,142 Thank you so, so much. Ow! 715 00:26:02,226 --> 00:26:03,935 -(phone rings) -Westside Travel and Tour. 716 00:26:04,017 --> 00:26:06,726 -Eliza speaking. -Oh, hi. It's Larry David. I have an emergency. 717 00:26:06,810 --> 00:26:08,893 I need to get on the next flight to Denver, please. 718 00:26:08,976 --> 00:26:11,059 I've got one leaving in an hour and 40 minutes. 719 00:26:11,142 --> 00:26:13,017 Perfect. Fantastic. Book it. 720 00:26:13,101 --> 00:26:15,059 Eliza: Oh, you're lucky. There's only one seat left. 721 00:26:15,142 --> 00:26:17,351 19E. 722 00:26:18,976 --> 00:26:20,393 19E. 723 00:26:20,476 --> 00:26:23,518 It's a coach seat. Oh, it's a middle seat. 724 00:26:25,351 --> 00:26:27,059 Shall I book it? 725 00:26:27,142 --> 00:26:29,142 Any other flights going to Denver? 726 00:26:29,226 --> 00:26:31,184 We've got a two, a four, 727 00:26:31,267 --> 00:26:32,601 and a six. 728 00:26:32,685 --> 00:26:36,768 Anything in rows... one through four? 729 00:26:36,851 --> 00:26:39,309 The only thing left is coach. 730 00:26:40,434 --> 00:26:41,559 Okay. 731 00:26:42,685 --> 00:26:44,768 Give me the next first-class flight to Denver. 732 00:26:44,851 --> 00:26:47,267 It's not until 9:00 p.m. 733 00:26:47,351 --> 00:26:49,518 9:00 p.m. Perfect. I'll take it. Book it. 734 00:26:49,601 --> 00:26:50,976 Eliza: Very well. 735 00:26:54,351 --> 00:26:56,476 (cell phone rings) 736 00:26:59,559 --> 00:27:00,393 Hey. 737 00:27:00,476 --> 00:27:01,309 Hey, Larry. 738 00:27:01,393 --> 00:27:02,559 I got a "Gotta Go" emergency. 739 00:27:02,643 --> 00:27:04,226 I'm at the shoe shine shop, right? 740 00:27:04,309 --> 00:27:06,017 And the guy must have food poisoning. 741 00:27:06,101 --> 00:27:07,768 He's stuck on the fuckin' toilet right now. 742 00:27:07,851 --> 00:27:09,142 So? What do you want me to do? 743 00:27:09,226 --> 00:27:10,726 I need you to cover for me at the newsstand. 744 00:27:10,810 --> 00:27:12,559 The guy relies on me for his six o'clock piss. 745 00:27:12,643 --> 00:27:15,393 -I'll call you back. -Leon (over phone): Okay. Okay. 746 00:27:15,476 --> 00:27:17,393 -Larry: (claps) Hey. -Yeah. 747 00:27:17,476 --> 00:27:19,810 I need you to do me a favor. Actually, do Leon a favor. 748 00:27:19,893 --> 00:27:22,059 He needs somebody to fill in for him at the newsstand. 749 00:27:22,142 --> 00:27:23,810 -For the "Gotta Go" app? -Yeah. 750 00:27:23,893 --> 00:27:24,893 I can't do it. 751 00:27:24,976 --> 00:27:26,518 No, no. You gotta do it. I can't do it, 752 00:27:26,601 --> 00:27:27,810 because I have to fly to Denver. 753 00:27:27,893 --> 00:27:30,309 -I already got my sweats on. -So what? 754 00:27:30,393 --> 00:27:31,810 Yeah, well, once I got my sweats on, 755 00:27:31,893 --> 00:27:34,142 there's no going back. I got my sweats on. 756 00:27:34,226 --> 00:27:36,059 What is it, an immutable law of physics? 757 00:27:36,142 --> 00:27:37,476 Once you're in sweats, you can't get out? 758 00:27:37,559 --> 00:27:38,518 Newton's Law of Sweats? 759 00:27:38,601 --> 00:27:41,768 It's Jeff Greene's Law of Day Over. 760 00:27:41,851 --> 00:27:43,685 Listen, I'd really appreciate it. 761 00:27:43,768 --> 00:27:46,309 -I'm in my sweats! -(phone rings) 762 00:27:46,393 --> 00:27:48,393 -Hello? -Larry, what the fuck you doin', man? 763 00:27:48,476 --> 00:27:50,059 -Goddamn! -Larry (over phone): All right, okay! 764 00:27:50,142 --> 00:27:52,184 Shut the fuck up! I'll come! 765 00:27:52,267 --> 00:27:54,059 Thank you. Thank you, by the way. 766 00:27:54,142 --> 00:27:56,935 -(sneezes) Wow. -Larry: God bless you. 767 00:28:02,017 --> 00:28:03,059 Hey. 768 00:28:03,142 --> 00:28:04,935 -Hey. I'm from "Gotta Go." -Larry? 769 00:28:05,017 --> 00:28:07,017 -Yeah. Yeah. -Oh. 770 00:28:07,101 --> 00:28:09,851 -I really gotta go. -Okay. Okay. Hurry up. 771 00:28:09,935 --> 00:28:11,184 -Okay. I'll be quick. -Okay. 772 00:28:11,267 --> 00:28:12,810 -Okay. Thank you. -Yeah. Hurry up. 773 00:28:12,893 --> 00:28:14,226 Okay. 774 00:28:14,309 --> 00:28:16,726 (distant siren wailing) 775 00:28:17,142 --> 00:28:18,476 Fuck. 776 00:28:21,059 --> 00:28:22,184 Oh, my God. 777 00:28:22,267 --> 00:28:23,893 -(phone rings) -Hello? 778 00:28:23,976 --> 00:28:25,685 Larry (over phone): The newsstand guy left 15 minutes ago. 779 00:28:25,768 --> 00:28:26,643 Hasn't come back. 780 00:28:26,726 --> 00:28:28,518 I gotta catch a plane to Denver. 781 00:28:28,601 --> 00:28:30,059 Hey, no browsing. 782 00:28:30,142 --> 00:28:31,726 Hey, do you carry Vegan Living ? 783 00:28:31,810 --> 00:28:33,685 Who gives a shit? Get the hell out of here. 784 00:28:33,768 --> 00:28:35,059 You gotta come and relieve me. 785 00:28:35,142 --> 00:28:36,935 I can't, Larry. I'm at the shoe shine stand. 786 00:28:37,017 --> 00:28:38,643 This guy's taking a $40 shit. 787 00:28:38,726 --> 00:28:40,810 Larry (over phone): Aw! All right, I'll get somebody else. 788 00:28:43,768 --> 00:28:45,726 Thanks very much. Hey. 789 00:28:45,810 --> 00:28:46,810 Larry: Hey! 790 00:28:46,893 --> 00:28:48,643 -I got your back. -Oh, my God. 791 00:28:48,726 --> 00:28:50,559 -You are a lifesaver. -No worries, no worries. 792 00:28:50,643 --> 00:28:53,059 -Thank you so much. -Not at all. 793 00:28:53,142 --> 00:28:54,393 Jonny. 794 00:28:54,476 --> 00:28:56,101 Really appreciate this. 795 00:28:56,184 --> 00:28:57,851 Hey, no prob-- 796 00:28:57,935 --> 00:28:59,726 -Ah? (laughing) -Larry: Ah? 797 00:28:59,810 --> 00:29:01,518 I get it. (laughs) 798 00:29:06,476 --> 00:29:07,976 Larry: Oh, my God. 799 00:29:10,518 --> 00:29:11,893 Excuse me, I'm so sorry. 800 00:29:11,976 --> 00:29:13,518 I got seven minutes to catch the plane. 801 00:29:13,601 --> 00:29:15,309 It sounds like a lie, but it's not. 802 00:29:15,393 --> 00:29:16,643 I'm not a cutter by nature. 803 00:29:16,726 --> 00:29:18,935 Um, my, my girlfriend got in a skiing accident. 804 00:29:19,017 --> 00:29:20,685 You know, she's my ex-wife's sister. 805 00:29:20,768 --> 00:29:22,601 We don't have to get into that, but, 806 00:29:22,685 --> 00:29:24,184 nevertheless, thank you so much. 807 00:29:24,267 --> 00:29:26,309 -I really appreciate it. -Next. 808 00:29:26,393 --> 00:29:27,685 Are you together? 809 00:29:29,726 --> 00:29:30,976 No. 810 00:29:31,518 --> 00:29:32,893 Man: No. 811 00:29:33,976 --> 00:29:35,518 Why would you think we were together? 812 00:29:35,601 --> 00:29:36,810 No reason. 813 00:29:36,893 --> 00:29:38,893 -No, no reason at all? -No reason? 814 00:29:38,976 --> 00:29:40,476 I just assumed you were a couple-- 815 00:29:40,559 --> 00:29:41,935 -Woman: You assumed? -Man: You assumed-- 816 00:29:42,017 --> 00:29:43,893 -Oh, really? -You assumed we're a couple. We-- 817 00:29:43,976 --> 00:29:45,601 I mean, I've never-- I mean, nice to meet you. 818 00:29:45,685 --> 00:29:48,101 -Nice to meet you, too. -Yeah, see, look, we just met. 819 00:29:48,184 --> 00:29:49,559 Honest mistake. 820 00:29:49,643 --> 00:29:51,643 But why did you make the mistake? 821 00:29:51,726 --> 00:29:55,434 -That's what I'm wondering. -Any two people standing together could be a couple. 822 00:29:55,518 --> 00:29:57,017 Two men, two women. 823 00:29:57,101 --> 00:29:59,309 If I saw a man wearing a yarmulke, 824 00:29:59,393 --> 00:30:01,518 standing next to a woman wearing a kerchief 825 00:30:01,601 --> 00:30:03,351 and carrying a mahjong set, 826 00:30:03,434 --> 00:30:04,726 I would think they were a couple. 827 00:30:04,810 --> 00:30:07,059 -What? -It's just a natural assumption. 828 00:30:07,142 --> 00:30:08,976 Anyway, I'd love to continue our discussion. 829 00:30:09,059 --> 00:30:11,101 It's been very interesting. I have to catch a flight to Denver. 830 00:30:11,184 --> 00:30:13,976 -Eh, there's a lot of black people in Denver. -Yeah. Tell 'em we said hi. 831 00:30:14,059 --> 00:30:15,434 Hello, sir. Boarding pass? 832 00:30:15,518 --> 00:30:17,142 (beeps) 833 00:30:17,226 --> 00:30:19,601 You've been randomly selected for a security search, sir. 834 00:30:19,685 --> 00:30:22,309 What? What? Secure-- What are you talking about? 835 00:30:22,393 --> 00:30:24,476 -Can someone get my spot? Thank you. -Larry: Oh, please. 836 00:30:24,559 --> 00:30:27,017 Are you kidding me? Oh, they couldn't be a couple. 837 00:30:27,101 --> 00:30:28,101 Oh, it's crazy. 838 00:30:28,184 --> 00:30:29,351 It has nothing to do with that, sir. 839 00:30:29,434 --> 00:30:31,601 Oh, it has nothing to do with that? 840 00:30:31,685 --> 00:30:33,643 -No. -Come on, I'm gonna miss my flight to Denver. 841 00:30:33,726 --> 00:30:35,810 -Enjoy that search. Yeah. -Enjoy it. 842 00:30:35,893 --> 00:30:37,059 Honestly, if you're looking-- 843 00:30:37,142 --> 00:30:38,518 I wouldn't look in the food and wine section. 844 00:30:38,601 --> 00:30:40,685 I would look... Los Angeles magazine. 845 00:30:40,768 --> 00:30:41,685 Right down there. 846 00:30:41,768 --> 00:30:43,142 You don't find what you need, 847 00:30:43,226 --> 00:30:44,976 -look online. Everything's online. -Thanks. 848 00:30:45,059 --> 00:30:46,768 Excuse me, ma'am. No browsing. 849 00:30:46,851 --> 00:30:49,017 No, I'm just looking for an article that Jay Inslee-- 850 00:30:49,101 --> 00:30:50,226 Both: Oh. 851 00:30:50,309 --> 00:30:52,017 -Oh, hi. -Cheryl. 852 00:30:52,101 --> 00:30:53,351 -Jon. -That's me. 853 00:30:53,434 --> 00:30:54,476 -Hamm. Hi. -Yes. 854 00:30:54,559 --> 00:30:55,643 What are you doing here? 855 00:30:55,726 --> 00:30:57,267 I'm just watching the newsstand for Larry. 856 00:30:57,351 --> 00:30:59,476 He had to-- He had to jump out and run to the airport. 857 00:30:59,559 --> 00:31:02,726 I'm sorry. Does Larry own a newsstand now? 858 00:31:02,810 --> 00:31:04,351 Great question. 859 00:31:04,434 --> 00:31:06,267 -I don't have an answer. -Okay. 860 00:31:06,351 --> 00:31:09,226 -So you are Larry's ex-wife. Wow. -Yeah. I know. 861 00:31:09,309 --> 00:31:11,976 -I find that fascinating. -Do you? 862 00:31:12,059 --> 00:31:14,559 Oh, my gosh. Spending the last few days with him? 863 00:31:14,643 --> 00:31:17,393 -I gotta know everything. -It's a lot. 864 00:31:17,476 --> 00:31:19,726 Well, do you wanna just go get some coffee? 865 00:31:19,810 --> 00:31:21,893 Sit down and talk? 866 00:31:21,976 --> 00:31:24,184 -Now? -Well, yeah. Why not? 867 00:31:24,267 --> 00:31:26,142 -Okay. Uh... -Let's go. 868 00:31:27,059 --> 00:31:28,893 I mean, do you really wanna hear... 869 00:31:28,976 --> 00:31:31,059 Are you kidding me? I wanna hear everything. 870 00:31:31,142 --> 00:31:33,393 Cheryl: You might be bored. Ah, 17 years... 871 00:31:33,476 --> 00:31:34,976 Jon: Wow. 872 00:31:43,476 --> 00:31:45,184 Do you recognize that signature? 873 00:31:45,267 --> 00:31:46,685 Leon: He killed the motherfucker 'cause the waffles 874 00:31:46,768 --> 00:31:47,935 had expired and shit. 875 00:31:48,017 --> 00:31:50,643 Gonna sit in that room and get interrogated-- 876 00:31:50,726 --> 00:31:52,768 Hey. Okay? You happy? You happy? 877 00:31:52,851 --> 00:31:54,559 -I hope you're happy. -What the fuck, man? 878 00:31:54,643 --> 00:31:56,476 -I missed my flight to Denver. -Jeff: Sorry. 879 00:31:56,559 --> 00:31:58,518 Larry: Oh, because you wouldn't get out of your sweat pants. 880 00:31:58,601 --> 00:32:00,351 Suppose there was an emergency? Then what? 881 00:32:00,434 --> 00:32:01,518 You take the sweat pants off? 882 00:32:01,601 --> 00:32:02,893 Well, what kind of an emergency? 883 00:32:02,976 --> 00:32:05,393 Suppose, uh, your friend was in a car accident. 884 00:32:05,476 --> 00:32:08,267 -Which friend? -Me. I got hit by a car. 885 00:32:08,351 --> 00:32:09,768 How did you get hit by a car? 886 00:32:09,851 --> 00:32:11,351 I, I got a piece of pizza, and, 887 00:32:11,434 --> 00:32:12,851 and I was crossing the street, 888 00:32:12,935 --> 00:32:14,267 and the, the cheese fell off, 889 00:32:14,351 --> 00:32:15,768 and I bent down to pick up the cheese, 890 00:32:15,851 --> 00:32:17,142 and I got hit by a car. 891 00:32:17,226 --> 00:32:19,393 Who the hell picks up cheese in the middle of the street? 892 00:32:19,476 --> 00:32:21,059 I don't want to litter so I picked up the cheese 893 00:32:21,142 --> 00:32:22,601 and I put it in the garbage can. 894 00:32:22,685 --> 00:32:24,935 No. You were gonna pick up the cheese, 895 00:32:25,017 --> 00:32:26,518 and put it on your pizza and eat it. 896 00:32:26,601 --> 00:32:28,643 Bullshit. I was not. I was gonna throw it in the garbage. 897 00:32:28,726 --> 00:32:29,935 -You don't know. -I know. 898 00:32:30,017 --> 00:32:31,226 -What do you know? No, you don't! -I know. 899 00:32:31,309 --> 00:32:32,935 And you, fuckstick, don't ever ask me 900 00:32:33,017 --> 00:32:35,101 to man any post for you again, 'cause I'm not doin' it! 901 00:32:35,184 --> 00:32:37,309 Just consider me in sweatpants all the time. 902 00:32:37,393 --> 00:32:39,726 Fuck that job. I quit that shit already. 903 00:32:39,810 --> 00:32:42,810 -Wow. That was fast. -Fuck, yeah. I'm in and out. 904 00:32:42,893 --> 00:32:44,726 All right, I gotta go text Becky now 905 00:32:44,810 --> 00:32:46,518 and tell her I missed my flight 'cause of you two assholes, 906 00:32:46,601 --> 00:32:47,976 and tell her I'll be on the first flight out to Denver 907 00:32:48,059 --> 00:32:49,518 tomorrow morning. Actually, second flight. 908 00:32:49,601 --> 00:32:51,017 Why second flight? 909 00:32:51,101 --> 00:32:52,643 First class. 910 00:32:52,726 --> 00:32:54,226 Yeah. 911 00:32:54,851 --> 00:32:57,810 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 912 00:32:57,893 --> 00:33:00,142 Oh, my God. What? 913 00:33:00,226 --> 00:33:02,059 Oh, my-- Larry! 914 00:33:02,142 --> 00:33:03,559 Larry! 915 00:33:04,976 --> 00:33:06,643 Larry! 916 00:33:06,726 --> 00:33:08,351 Cheryl: Oh, look. 917 00:33:08,434 --> 00:33:09,476 Latte Larry's. 918 00:33:09,559 --> 00:33:10,976 -Yeah. Yeah. -Spite store. 919 00:33:11,059 --> 00:33:12,101 -I heard about this. -Yeah. 920 00:33:12,184 --> 00:33:13,768 -This must be, uh... -Mocha Joe's. 921 00:33:13,851 --> 00:33:14,810 There we go. 922 00:33:14,893 --> 00:33:15,976 Okay, don't tell Larry we did this. 923 00:33:16,059 --> 00:33:17,935 You got it. 924 00:33:18,017 --> 00:33:21,059 I've never been in this shop. I just-- 925 00:33:21,142 --> 00:33:23,685 It's kind of a wobbly table, you know? 926 00:33:23,768 --> 00:33:25,518 It's like my least favorite thing. 927 00:33:25,601 --> 00:33:26,851 -It's all right. -Mocha Joe: Here we go. 928 00:33:26,935 --> 00:33:28,726 -Two cups of coffee. -Hey. Thank you very much. 929 00:33:28,810 --> 00:33:31,017 Thank you so much for coming in, Mr. Hamm. How's that scone? 930 00:33:31,101 --> 00:33:32,726 Uh, not so much a scone. 931 00:33:33,184 --> 00:33:35,726 -No, it's a scone. -Nah, this is like a muffin. 932 00:33:35,810 --> 00:33:38,184 I mean, I'm just saying, like, there's kind of a specific 933 00:33:38,267 --> 00:33:40,309 quality that a scone has that's sort of dry and crumbly. 934 00:33:40,393 --> 00:33:42,810 This is sweet. It's a little more like a muffin than a scone. 935 00:33:42,893 --> 00:33:44,768 What you are describing is a stale scone. 936 00:33:44,851 --> 00:33:47,685 -That's a, that's fresh one. -I'm not sure you know what a... 937 00:33:47,768 --> 00:33:49,017 definition of a scone is. 938 00:33:49,101 --> 00:33:51,059 It looks good. I think, um... 939 00:33:51,142 --> 00:33:52,851 -I'm just saying, I'm saying it's a muffin. -Let's not worry about it. 940 00:33:52,935 --> 00:33:54,101 You want me to take it away? 941 00:33:54,184 --> 00:33:55,393 No, I'm gonna keep the muffin. 942 00:33:55,476 --> 00:33:56,851 -Thank you very much. -You enjoy the scone. 943 00:33:56,935 --> 00:33:58,518 -Yeah, I'll enjoy the muffin. -Cheryl: I'm good. 944 00:33:58,601 --> 00:34:00,643 -Thank you, that's great. Thank you. -Okay. Awesome. 945 00:34:00,726 --> 00:34:02,101 It doesn't matter. 946 00:34:02,184 --> 00:34:03,976 -Yeah. I'm just having a good time. -Hmm? Doesn't it? 947 00:34:05,101 --> 00:34:06,643 Um... 948 00:34:06,726 --> 00:34:08,810 Oh! So when I first met Mocha Joe-- 949 00:34:08,893 --> 00:34:11,059 Ugh. Oh, hold on. 950 00:34:11,142 --> 00:34:12,851 -No. No. No. -What's wrong? 951 00:34:12,935 --> 00:34:13,893 Mocha Joe! 952 00:34:13,976 --> 00:34:16,142 -Mocha Joe! -Mocha Joe: Yeah. 953 00:34:17,768 --> 00:34:20,226 This coffee's... it's not hot. 954 00:34:20,309 --> 00:34:22,726 -It's plenty hot. -No, it's, it's plenty not. 955 00:34:22,810 --> 00:34:25,601 -It's, it's, it is, it is at best luke. -It's hot. 956 00:34:25,685 --> 00:34:27,476 -Oh, God. -Jon: I don't know what to tell you. 957 00:34:27,559 --> 00:34:29,059 This is not, this is not a hot cup of coffee. 958 00:34:29,142 --> 00:34:30,685 -It's a hot cup of coffee. -Coffee should be served hot. 959 00:34:30,768 --> 00:34:31,726 -This is not hot. -It's hot. 960 00:34:31,810 --> 00:34:33,226 I beg to differ. This is not hot. 961 00:34:33,309 --> 00:34:34,851 And I tell you what. Here's how I'll prove it to you. 962 00:34:34,935 --> 00:34:36,059 -No, no, no, I don't know-- -Would I be able to do this? 963 00:34:36,142 --> 00:34:37,726 Would I be able to do this 964 00:34:37,810 --> 00:34:39,518 if this was a hot cup of coffee? 965 00:34:40,142 --> 00:34:42,017 -Oh. Oh. -Okay. 966 00:34:42,810 --> 00:34:44,893 -Doesn't even hurt. Doesn't even hurt. -I can't do this. 967 00:34:44,976 --> 00:34:46,184 -This coffee's not hot. -Jon Hamm... 968 00:34:46,267 --> 00:34:47,976 -...you have turned into Larry. -What-- 969 00:34:48,059 --> 00:34:50,059 -I'm done. I can't do this. -Cheryl-- 970 00:34:50,142 --> 00:34:51,059 Cheryl: God. 971 00:34:51,142 --> 00:34:52,685 -Cheryl! -No. 972 00:34:52,768 --> 00:34:54,518 -Come on. -Nope. 973 00:34:55,476 --> 00:34:57,893 See, now look. The table. Look at this. All over the place. 974 00:34:57,976 --> 00:34:59,434 -All right, you know what, Jon Hamm? -All over the place. 975 00:34:59,518 --> 00:35:00,976 -Unbelievable. -Get out. 976 00:35:01,351 --> 00:35:02,685 Happy to. 977 00:35:04,726 --> 00:35:06,559 And you're banned, Jon Hamm! 978 00:35:06,643 --> 00:35:08,643 Jon: I don't care! 979 00:35:14,685 --> 00:35:15,935 Hey! 980 00:35:16,017 --> 00:35:18,101 I'm here! 981 00:35:18,184 --> 00:35:20,893 Look. Look! Flowers, balloons. 982 00:35:20,976 --> 00:35:23,643 Larry David. What could be better? 983 00:35:23,726 --> 00:35:26,351 -Take a smell of that. Yeah? Pretty good. -Yep. Smells like flowers. 984 00:35:26,434 --> 00:35:28,393 -Right? Where do you want 'em? Here? -Yeah. 985 00:35:28,476 --> 00:35:31,017 Ugh. I came as soon as I could. 986 00:35:31,101 --> 00:35:32,309 Did you? 987 00:35:32,393 --> 00:35:33,476 Yes, I did. 988 00:35:33,559 --> 00:35:36,226 'Cause it's, uh, been a little over 24 hours 989 00:35:36,309 --> 00:35:37,976 since I called you and you were gonna 990 00:35:38,059 --> 00:35:40,768 hop on the next flight. So I just, I've been a little confused. 991 00:35:40,851 --> 00:35:43,184 Big issue with the TSA last night. 992 00:35:43,267 --> 00:35:45,976 -Ugh. I'm not even gonna bore you with it. -Why would book a night flight? 993 00:35:46,059 --> 00:35:48,142 I called you at 10:00 o'clock yesterday morning. 994 00:35:48,226 --> 00:35:50,976 Um, you know, the-- I couldn't get a seat. There were no seats. 995 00:35:51,059 --> 00:35:53,851 There were no seats on any of the planes? 996 00:35:53,935 --> 00:35:56,267 There were... 997 00:35:56,351 --> 00:35:57,976 no seats... 998 00:35:58,059 --> 00:35:59,226 for me? 999 00:35:59,309 --> 00:36:03,059 Are you talking about first class seats? 1000 00:36:03,142 --> 00:36:06,059 Uh... 1001 00:36:08,059 --> 00:36:09,643 -Yeah. Yeah. -Becky: Yeah? 1002 00:36:09,726 --> 00:36:11,017 I broke my leg! 1003 00:36:11,101 --> 00:36:12,476 -I called you scared. -Yeah. 1004 00:36:12,559 --> 00:36:13,643 -And hurt. -Yeah. I know. 1005 00:36:13,726 --> 00:36:16,184 I'm not worth two hours in a coach seat? 1006 00:36:16,267 --> 00:36:18,518 -You know. All right, I'm gonna be... -What? 1007 00:36:18,601 --> 00:36:20,768 -I'll just be straight with you, okay? -Yeah. That'd be great. 1008 00:36:20,851 --> 00:36:23,059 -I've been honest with you up until now. -Yes. 1009 00:36:23,142 --> 00:36:25,601 -So I'm gonna be honest with you again. -Go for it. 1010 00:36:27,142 --> 00:36:29,434 I have a bleeding rectum. 1011 00:36:30,726 --> 00:36:32,267 They're okay with you bleeding 1012 00:36:32,351 --> 00:36:34,101 out of your rectum in first class? 1013 00:36:34,184 --> 00:36:37,351 It's a more comfortable place to bleed. 1014 00:36:37,434 --> 00:36:39,810 I think it's probably best that you go. 1015 00:36:39,893 --> 00:36:41,768 -What? -Yeah. Leave the flowers, 1016 00:36:41,851 --> 00:36:44,101 but take the ugly balloon, and just go. 1017 00:36:45,059 --> 00:36:46,267 Okay. 1018 00:36:48,393 --> 00:36:51,434 -Hey. You gonna eat that Jell-O? -I'm not gonna eat the Jell-O. 1019 00:36:52,351 --> 00:36:53,601 Hmm. 1020 00:36:54,810 --> 00:36:57,267 (theme music playing) 1021 00:37:13,768 --> 00:37:15,851 ♪ ♪ 1022 00:37:45,476 --> 00:37:47,559 ♪ ♪ 1023 00:38:08,768 --> 00:38:11,059 Ah! Mr. Takahashi! How you hitting 'em, Mr. T? 1024 00:38:11,309 --> 00:38:13,184 -Not your concern. -Ah. 1025 00:38:13,559 --> 00:38:15,643 ♪ ("EL DESEO" BY JANET SHERBOURNE PLAYS) ♪ 1026 00:38:15,726 --> 00:38:18,184 LARRY DAVID: The color of a car doesn't really matter to me, 1027 00:38:18,267 --> 00:38:21,059 because I don't really see it when I'm inside the car. 1028 00:38:21,142 --> 00:38:22,476 It's like being inside your face. 1029 00:38:22,559 --> 00:38:23,518 I don't know what my face looks like. 1030 00:38:23,726 --> 00:38:25,643 -Who forgets their face? -I'm in a capsule. 1031 00:38:25,726 --> 00:38:27,559 Everything's coming from inside the capsule. 1032 00:38:27,851 --> 00:38:29,976 I haven't seen you take one piece of red licorice yet. 1033 00:38:30,059 --> 00:38:30,893 Only black for you? 1034 00:38:31,393 --> 00:38:33,810 Something wrong with a person supporting black and shit? 1035 00:38:33,893 --> 00:38:36,184 Black licorice, black jellybeans... 1036 00:38:36,267 --> 00:38:38,309 -You feel me? -No, I feel you. 1037 00:38:38,393 --> 00:38:40,559 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪