1 00:00:12,227 --> 00:00:14,726 ♪ Here I am, hiding out now in a hole ♪ 2 00:00:14,727 --> 00:00:17,643 ♪ Barely eating, barely sleeping, this shit's taking its toll ♪ 3 00:00:17,644 --> 00:00:19,934 ♪ Fuck writing, I got bigger fish to fry now ♪ 4 00:00:19,935 --> 00:00:22,185 ♪ I know I'll die now, I need a plan ♪ 5 00:00:22,186 --> 00:00:23,402 ♪ I do not like this man ♪ 6 00:00:23,403 --> 00:00:25,643 ♪ Tarnishing the scripture, how he mocks me ♪ 7 00:00:25,644 --> 00:00:28,518 ♪ All this blasphemy and vanity, carnality exhausts me ♪ 8 00:00:28,519 --> 00:00:30,934 ♪ It'll cost me my respect in Iran ♪ 9 00:00:30,935 --> 00:00:33,602 ♪ And so it's time for him to die, I do not like this man ♪ 10 00:00:33,603 --> 00:00:36,560 ♪ Come on, don't be silly, it was just a book ♪ 11 00:00:36,561 --> 00:00:39,352 ♪ Don't look weak now, can't let him off the hook ♪ 12 00:00:39,353 --> 00:00:42,018 ♪ What a coward, God knows that ♪ 13 00:00:42,019 --> 00:00:44,976 ♪ I do not like this man ♪ 14 00:00:44,977 --> 00:00:46,768 ♪ What am I gonna do? ♪ 15 00:00:46,769 --> 00:00:49,602 ♪ His death sentence is the worst friggin' book review ♪ 16 00:00:49,603 --> 00:00:51,851 ♪ His book's like a sickness, it won't quit ya ♪ 17 00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:55,352 ♪ Talkin' trash about the scripture, not a pretty picture ♪ 18 00:00:55,353 --> 00:00:57,643 ♪ All I wanted was to win the Booker Prize, guys ♪ 19 00:00:57,644 --> 00:01:00,851 ♪ Not have him slit my throat and gouge out my eyes, my, my ♪ 20 00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:02,726 ♪ I can't allow this desecration ♪ 21 00:01:02,727 --> 00:01:04,435 ♪ This irritation, indignation ♪ 22 00:01:04,436 --> 00:01:06,560 - ♪ Not while I lead this nation ♪ - ♪ Whoo ♪ 23 00:01:06,561 --> 00:01:08,560 - ♪ It's official ♪ - ♪ Don't try to call our bluff ♪ 24 00:01:08,561 --> 00:01:11,226 - ♪ Deference, as if ♪ - ♪ Writing's not hard enough ♪ 25 00:01:11,227 --> 00:01:13,893 ♪ Heathen, tyrant, traitor, violent ♪ 26 00:01:13,894 --> 00:01:18,393 ♪ God knows that I do not like this man ♪ 27 00:01:18,394 --> 00:01:20,268 ♪ Haven't you caught him yet? ♪ 28 00:01:20,269 --> 00:01:23,726 ♪ Stop asking me already, I'm trying ♪ 29 00:01:23,727 --> 00:01:25,560 ♪ Please just express regret ♪ 30 00:01:25,561 --> 00:01:28,893 ♪ Oh, yeah, like I haven't thought of that, come on ♪ 31 00:01:28,894 --> 00:01:32,060 - ♪ Just go cut off his head ♪ - ♪ Ah ♪ 32 00:01:32,061 --> 00:01:33,518 ♪ Just hide under the bed ♪ 33 00:01:33,519 --> 00:01:36,352 ♪ I do not like this ♪ 34 00:01:36,353 --> 00:01:39,143 ♪ He doesn't like this ♪ 35 00:01:39,144 --> 00:01:41,643 ♪ I cannot like this ♪ 36 00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:44,393 ♪ He'll never like this ♪ 37 00:01:44,394 --> 00:01:48,435 ♪ I do not like this man ♪ 38 00:01:48,436 --> 00:01:50,393 ♪ Enemies forever! ♪ 39 00:01:50,394 --> 00:01:53,768 - Whoa! Whoa! - Terrific! Terrific! Thank you. 40 00:01:53,769 --> 00:01:55,684 What a wonderful day of rehearsal, gang. 41 00:01:55,685 --> 00:01:57,060 Thanks so much. That was great. 42 00:01:57,061 --> 00:01:58,643 I like these men. 43 00:01:58,644 --> 00:02:00,602 - Really great job. - Fantastic. 44 00:02:00,603 --> 00:02:02,602 - My best work. - Wow. 45 00:02:02,603 --> 00:02:05,602 How about Susan Stroman? I mean... huh? 46 00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:06,643 She's the best. 47 00:02:06,644 --> 00:02:08,393 11:30 call tomorrow. 48 00:02:08,394 --> 00:02:10,893 We're gonna start with the new choreography for "Fatwa Sex." 49 00:02:10,894 --> 00:02:13,934 - I gotta talk to Lin. - All right. 50 00:02:13,935 --> 00:02:16,851 Quick question for you. Cody wants to know which poster you like more. 51 00:02:16,852 --> 00:02:20,435 - Um... I think this one. - Cool. 52 00:02:20,436 --> 00:02:22,435 - Murray. - Hey. 53 00:02:22,436 --> 00:02:24,809 - That was unbelievable! - Oh, thanks. 54 00:02:24,810 --> 00:02:26,435 - So great. - Felt good. 55 00:02:26,436 --> 00:02:28,393 - Loved it. - Thanks. 56 00:02:28,394 --> 00:02:30,809 I got one little, tiny note for you. 57 00:02:30,810 --> 00:02:33,185 - Yeah? - It's a small, small note. 58 00:02:33,186 --> 00:02:36,893 I noticed that you're denunciating with your fist. 59 00:02:36,894 --> 00:02:41,435 And the ayatollah, actually, he denunciates 60 00:02:41,436 --> 00:02:43,352 with his... with his index finger. 61 00:02:43,353 --> 00:02:44,642 - He kind of uses it like a... - Yeah? 62 00:02:44,643 --> 00:02:45,643 like a sledgehammer. 63 00:02:45,644 --> 00:02:47,226 - That feels good. - You like that? 64 00:02:47,227 --> 00:02:48,768 - I think it's terrific. - Yeah. 65 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,310 - Thanks. - You're welcome. 66 00:02:50,311 --> 00:02:52,393 Yeah. And... 67 00:02:52,394 --> 00:02:55,185 - I really like your shoes. - Really? 68 00:02:55,186 --> 00:02:57,226 - Yeah. - Thank you! 69 00:02:57,227 --> 00:02:59,851 Can we go over the choreo for "Fatwa Sex" before we go onstage? 70 00:02:59,852 --> 00:03:01,560 Yeah, why don't you come in at 10:45? 71 00:03:01,561 --> 00:03:03,393 We'll have the dance captain come. 72 00:03:03,394 --> 00:03:04,809 - Ach! - Are you happy? 73 00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:06,518 - Am I happy? - Aren't they incredible? 74 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,893 - It's crazy! This is insane! - It's gonna be amazing. 75 00:03:08,894 --> 00:03:10,477 I can't believe how excited I am! 76 00:03:10,478 --> 00:03:12,185 I've only been excited twice in my life. 77 00:03:12,186 --> 00:03:14,060 Unsnapping my first bra. 78 00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:15,851 And this! This is like my second bra! 79 00:03:15,852 --> 00:03:17,310 Oh, well, fantastic. 80 00:03:17,311 --> 00:03:19,435 If this guy ever asks you to go in the weeds, 81 00:03:19,436 --> 00:03:20,643 get in the weeds! 82 00:03:20,644 --> 00:03:22,560 - Is that fishing? - No, no, no. 83 00:03:22,561 --> 00:03:25,352 - That's work. That's work, yeah. - Yeah. It's the work. 84 00:03:25,353 --> 00:03:27,143 - As I was watching it... - Yeah? 85 00:03:27,144 --> 00:03:29,560 ...I'm thinking that old opening 86 00:03:29,561 --> 00:03:31,560 would work great now. 87 00:03:31,561 --> 00:03:33,268 - What? - ♪ There's a fatwa, there's a fatwa ♪ 88 00:03:33,269 --> 00:03:34,435 ♪ Gotta run, I think I oughta... ♪ 89 00:03:34,436 --> 00:03:35,643 Oh, I totally blocked that out. 90 00:03:35,644 --> 00:03:37,143 You know, just sitting there, 91 00:03:37,144 --> 00:03:39,684 you can just feel how well that could work. 92 00:03:39,685 --> 00:03:40,851 You know what we do? 93 00:03:40,852 --> 00:03:43,602 Cast album bonus track just for the fans. 94 00:03:43,603 --> 00:03:46,435 Give them the bonus now. Why have a bonus then? 95 00:03:46,436 --> 00:03:49,352 It's not a bonus if it's already here. 96 00:03:49,353 --> 00:03:51,310 Cody, what'd you think of that? 97 00:03:51,311 --> 00:03:53,477 My toe started tapping. I mean... 98 00:03:53,478 --> 00:03:54,976 - Yeah. - ♪ Gonna get shot-a. ♪ 99 00:03:54,977 --> 00:03:57,226 - It's catchy. - Yeah. It's catchy! 100 00:03:57,227 --> 00:03:58,352 But I think this opening number 101 00:03:58,353 --> 00:04:00,393 sets up the thing you love so much. 102 00:04:00,394 --> 00:04:01,851 Yeah. Yeah. Okay. 103 00:04:01,852 --> 00:04:04,101 I gotta go to wardrobe and get changed. Wanna walk with me? 104 00:04:04,102 --> 00:04:06,602 - Yeah. I wanna talk to you about something. - Great. Thanks, Cody. 105 00:04:06,603 --> 00:04:08,435 But honestly, you should reconsider this. 106 00:04:08,436 --> 00:04:09,976 Look, watch. Just watch this. 107 00:04:09,977 --> 00:04:12,101 One second. I'm running, okay? You're running. 108 00:04:12,102 --> 00:04:14,310 ♪ There's a fatwa, there's a fatwa, gotta run, I think I oughta ♪ 109 00:04:14,311 --> 00:04:16,018 ♪ Gotta hide, I think I've gotta ♪ 110 00:04:16,019 --> 00:04:17,893 ♪ Gonna get scared, gonna get shot-a, want my mama... ♪ 111 00:04:17,894 --> 00:04:19,393 And everybody's yelling from the windows. 112 00:04:19,394 --> 00:04:20,560 That's your talk show bit. 113 00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:22,393 You do that on "Late Night" and say, 114 00:04:22,394 --> 00:04:25,101 "This is what turned into the amazing musical number we actually did." 115 00:04:25,102 --> 00:04:26,310 It's gonna be great. 116 00:04:26,311 --> 00:04:27,893 Hey, Cody, what'd you think of that? 117 00:04:27,894 --> 00:04:30,435 I... I would attend a workshop of it. 118 00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,310 - It's a workshop. - Hey. 119 00:04:32,311 --> 00:04:35,393 - So, first preview's in a week. - Yeah. 120 00:04:35,394 --> 00:04:37,393 I'm thinking it would be a good idea 121 00:04:37,394 --> 00:04:39,060 to do something for the cast and crew. 122 00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:41,643 Something fun, you know. Maybe like paintball? 123 00:04:41,644 --> 00:04:43,018 Well, that's a great idea! 124 00:04:43,019 --> 00:04:44,477 - Yeah? - Yeah, absolutely. 125 00:04:44,478 --> 00:04:46,435 "Lion King" used to do that all the time. 126 00:04:46,436 --> 00:04:48,018 - Oh, terrific! - Yeah, it might be fun. 127 00:04:48,019 --> 00:04:49,226 Great, we'll do it this weekend. 128 00:04:49,227 --> 00:04:50,893 You know, I'll pay for it. 129 00:04:50,894 --> 00:04:52,643 Great, I'll spread the word with the cast. 130 00:04:52,644 --> 00:04:54,435 - Hi, Greg. - Hi. 131 00:04:54,436 --> 00:04:58,500 So, I think this is not the tweed that we really want. I just... 132 00:04:58,501 --> 00:05:00,809 What is it about it that's not working for you? 133 00:05:00,810 --> 00:05:03,435 It's not quite professorial enough. Do you agree? 134 00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:05,602 - I... I like it. - You like it? 135 00:05:05,603 --> 00:05:07,976 - Yeah, I think it looks good. - I'd like to see options, then. 136 00:05:07,977 --> 00:05:09,435 - Okay. - Yeah. 137 00:05:09,436 --> 00:05:11,018 These are all the vests I pulled. 138 00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:12,602 Oh, I wanted to ask you, 139 00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:14,976 my cousin Valentina and her husband, 140 00:05:14,977 --> 00:05:16,435 their Airbnb fell through. 141 00:05:16,436 --> 00:05:18,477 They're coming in to see the first preview. 142 00:05:18,478 --> 00:05:20,893 I was wondering if they could maybe stay with you. 143 00:05:20,894 --> 00:05:23,809 Hmm... no hotel? 144 00:05:23,810 --> 00:05:26,143 They're... they're a really interesting couple. 145 00:05:26,144 --> 00:05:28,060 Hotels are not their thing. 146 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,435 But aren't you renting a house? 147 00:05:30,436 --> 00:05:31,851 Yeah, but me and V only have one bedroom. 148 00:05:31,852 --> 00:05:33,060 There's really not room, 149 00:05:33,061 --> 00:05:34,477 and you've got that great big house. 150 00:05:34,478 --> 00:05:36,353 Is that okay? Is that... it's cool? 151 00:05:37,644 --> 00:05:39,268 Yeah, sure. What the hell. 152 00:05:39,269 --> 00:05:40,809 All right. Thank you. 153 00:05:40,810 --> 00:05:42,976 Wonder if there's anything else 154 00:05:42,977 --> 00:05:45,143 we need to do before tomorrow. 155 00:05:45,144 --> 00:05:47,352 - Something wrong? - I... 156 00:05:47,353 --> 00:05:49,560 I just did you a very nice favor. 157 00:05:49,561 --> 00:05:50,976 - Yeah. - Uh... 158 00:05:50,977 --> 00:05:53,477 and that "thank you" was... 159 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:55,226 it was like I passed you the ketchup. 160 00:05:55,227 --> 00:05:55,834 Yeah, no, no. 161 00:05:55,835 --> 00:05:57,934 It was not commensurate with the gesture. 162 00:05:57,935 --> 00:06:00,185 Oh, I... I appreciate it. 163 00:06:00,186 --> 00:06:01,602 Thank you. 164 00:06:01,603 --> 00:06:03,518 Um, what else do you have? 165 00:06:03,519 --> 00:06:05,435 You've seen the choices. 166 00:06:05,436 --> 00:06:07,352 - Um... - All right, I'm... I'm... 167 00:06:07,353 --> 00:06:09,185 - I'm gonna head back. I'll see you later. - Okay. Thanks. 168 00:06:09,186 --> 00:06:11,560 - Thanks again. - Yeah. 169 00:06:11,561 --> 00:06:14,352 - What do we think? - Yeah, it's a little boxy. 170 00:06:14,353 --> 00:06:17,185 Where's Funkhouser? Where is he? 171 00:06:17,186 --> 00:06:19,477 - He's always late, this guy. - I know. So rude. 172 00:06:19,478 --> 00:06:22,851 I say next time, we tell him a half hour earlier. 173 00:06:22,852 --> 00:06:24,602 - You know what, let's just sit down. - All right. 174 00:06:24,603 --> 00:06:26,143 We'll have some appetizers, maybe even order dinner. 175 00:06:26,144 --> 00:06:28,893 - Who cares? Yeah. - Who cares? 176 00:06:28,894 --> 00:06:30,435 - Hi. Um... - Hi. 177 00:06:30,436 --> 00:06:32,518 David. Reservation. 178 00:06:32,519 --> 00:06:34,726 Ah! Yes. Party of four. 179 00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,310 Are you all here? 180 00:06:36,311 --> 00:06:37,477 No, we have three. 181 00:06:37,478 --> 00:06:39,060 Well, I'm sorry. 182 00:06:39,061 --> 00:06:41,560 We can't seat you until your entire party arrives. 183 00:06:41,561 --> 00:06:43,768 - Why? - It's our policy. 184 00:06:43,769 --> 00:06:45,435 We don't seat incomplete parties. 185 00:06:45,436 --> 00:06:47,435 What's the point of the policy? We have three people. 186 00:06:47,436 --> 00:06:49,477 It's the same table. What's the difference? 187 00:06:49,478 --> 00:06:52,101 The chef really likes everyone to sit together 188 00:06:52,102 --> 00:06:54,726 so they can order together and he can deliver the food at the same time. 189 00:06:54,727 --> 00:06:56,768 - Oh, the chef likes everyone to sit together. - Yes. 190 00:06:56,769 --> 00:07:00,226 - Isn't that nice? - It makes for the optimal dining experience. 191 00:07:00,227 --> 00:07:02,435 Okay, you know what the optimal dining experience is? 192 00:07:02,436 --> 00:07:04,435 To eat when you're hungry, okay? 193 00:07:04,436 --> 00:07:06,851 - I understand. - That's the optimal dining experience. 194 00:07:06,852 --> 00:07:08,310 I'm sorry. That's our policy. 195 00:07:08,311 --> 00:07:09,893 We do not sit incomplete parties. 196 00:07:09,894 --> 00:07:12,268 - Yeah. - No, this is bullshit. 197 00:07:12,269 --> 00:07:14,768 - I know. - Guess we'll wait. 198 00:07:14,769 --> 00:07:17,226 Hey, I got that paintball thing secured. 199 00:07:17,227 --> 00:07:18,602 Oh, good for you. That'll be fun. 200 00:07:18,603 --> 00:07:20,518 - They're gonna love it. - What? What is it? 201 00:07:20,519 --> 00:07:23,477 I'm taking the cast and crew to do, like, a paintball day. 202 00:07:23,478 --> 00:07:25,602 - You know paintball? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fun. 203 00:07:25,603 --> 00:07:27,768 - They shoot paint instead of bullets. - It's a good bonding. 204 00:07:27,769 --> 00:07:29,809 Yeah, we're gonna do it on Saturday. 205 00:07:29,810 --> 00:07:32,310 - Sat... wait. This Saturday? - Yeah. 206 00:07:32,311 --> 00:07:35,018 It's Sammi's wedding this Saturday. 207 00:07:35,019 --> 00:07:36,435 I thought it was the week after. 208 00:07:36,436 --> 00:07:39,268 Oh, God, I sent you the save-the-date, 209 00:07:39,269 --> 00:07:40,976 I sent you the invitation, 210 00:07:40,977 --> 00:07:42,768 you never fucking wrote it down?! 211 00:07:42,769 --> 00:07:45,768 - You sent me too many things! - Don't make it my fault now! 212 00:07:45,769 --> 00:07:48,101 You know what, I'll work it out. I can do both. 213 00:07:48,102 --> 00:07:50,101 You're making a speech. You promised Sammi. 214 00:07:50,102 --> 00:07:52,477 All right, I'll work it out. I'll work it out. 215 00:07:52,478 --> 00:07:54,060 I'm sorry. I'm just a little cranky... 216 00:07:54,061 --> 00:07:55,684 - I'm hungry. - Me, too. 217 00:07:55,685 --> 00:07:57,268 No, but I'm hungry. 218 00:07:57,269 --> 00:08:00,143 - Yeah, I hear you. - Yeah. Shall we leave? 219 00:08:00,144 --> 00:08:02,310 We don't have a reservation. You can't get in anywhere. 220 00:08:02,311 --> 00:08:04,602 It's crazy. You know how I get. 221 00:08:04,603 --> 00:08:07,976 - The blood sugar, up and down, up and down. - I know how you get. 222 00:08:07,977 --> 00:08:11,060 Okay, I'm gonna take care of this. 223 00:08:11,061 --> 00:08:13,018 - Stay right here. - All right. 224 00:08:13,019 --> 00:08:15,851 - The food here is great and you know it. - I do. 225 00:08:15,852 --> 00:08:17,643 - Hello. - Hello. 226 00:08:17,644 --> 00:08:19,643 Are you alone by any chance? 227 00:08:19,644 --> 00:08:21,976 - Perhaps. - Please do not misconstrue this. 228 00:08:21,977 --> 00:08:24,934 This is not a pickup in any way, shape, or form. 229 00:08:24,935 --> 00:08:27,310 - Okay. - I don't pick up; I put down. 230 00:08:27,311 --> 00:08:31,143 - Okay. - Now, the situation is thus: 231 00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:33,519 this restaurant has an idiotic policy... 232 00:08:35,061 --> 00:08:36,353 Okay, let's go. 233 00:08:37,561 --> 00:08:38,684 We have four. 234 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:41,310 - Four? - Yes, four. 235 00:08:41,311 --> 00:08:42,602 Okay. 236 00:08:42,603 --> 00:08:44,685 Table six, please. 237 00:08:51,061 --> 00:08:54,477 - Thanks for joining. - Of course. I'm hap... happy to be here. 238 00:08:54,478 --> 00:08:57,809 - So what do you do? - I'm an actress. 239 00:08:57,810 --> 00:08:59,684 - Oh. - You know, I just figured at 36, 240 00:08:59,685 --> 00:09:01,477 if there's any profession that you can do 241 00:09:01,478 --> 00:09:04,185 later in life as a woman, it's acting. 242 00:09:04,186 --> 00:09:05,851 Have we seen you in anything? 243 00:09:05,852 --> 00:09:08,809 No, but I'm doing some plus-size modeling. 244 00:09:08,810 --> 00:09:11,018 - Really? - And then I do stand-in work. 245 00:09:11,019 --> 00:09:12,726 Okay, she stands in for the star. 246 00:09:12,727 --> 00:09:14,226 - For the camera. - For the camera. 247 00:09:14,227 --> 00:09:15,768 Right, yeah, I understand. 248 00:09:15,769 --> 00:09:17,143 I'm sorry. 249 00:09:17,144 --> 00:09:18,934 You were the guy with the, uh... 250 00:09:18,935 --> 00:09:20,393 you have the fatwa on you, right? 251 00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:22,060 Yeah, that's-a-me. 252 00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:24,518 What are you doing out? Aren't you kind of scared? 253 00:09:24,519 --> 00:09:26,060 They called it off. 254 00:09:26,061 --> 00:09:28,185 - So it's over. - Yeah, but I was out anyway. 255 00:09:28,186 --> 00:09:30,726 - Yeah. - Yeah, he did. He was brave. 256 00:09:30,727 --> 00:09:32,477 Can I give you a business card? 257 00:09:32,478 --> 00:09:35,101 Sorry, 'cause I'm just realizing now you're that writer. 258 00:09:35,102 --> 00:09:35,535 Yeah. 259 00:09:35,536 --> 00:09:37,435 I've never done comedy, but it doesn't seem that hard. 260 00:09:37,436 --> 00:09:39,226 - Hmm. - Here you go. 261 00:09:39,227 --> 00:09:42,268 - Ah. Marie Deschamps? - Mmm. 262 00:09:42,269 --> 00:09:45,268 - What are you, French? - No, it's actually my stage name. 263 00:09:45,269 --> 00:09:47,018 Johnson's my real last name. 264 00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:49,602 - Is Marie your real first name? - No. Jenny. 265 00:09:49,603 --> 00:09:52,602 All right, well, I'll put your card in my pocket. 266 00:09:52,603 --> 00:09:55,018 I will never call you, but I'll put it in my pocket. 267 00:09:55,019 --> 00:09:57,893 And I'm very glad that that fatwa got cleared up. 268 00:09:57,894 --> 00:09:59,809 - Thank you. - Does it ever occur to you 269 00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:03,893 that maybe this fatwa thing is not as over as you think? 270 00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:05,393 You know how the Japanese soldiers, 271 00:10:05,394 --> 00:10:07,143 they'd find them on, like, an island, 272 00:10:07,144 --> 00:10:09,809 and they wouldn't know the war's been over for a long time? 273 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,602 Maybe someone is so off the grid 274 00:10:11,603 --> 00:10:13,934 that they have no idea the fatwa's over. 275 00:10:13,935 --> 00:10:15,518 Maybe someone is so stupid 276 00:10:15,519 --> 00:10:18,185 that they say things they shouldn't be saying. 277 00:10:18,186 --> 00:10:20,310 - Maybe. - Hello! 278 00:10:20,311 --> 00:10:22,477 - Hey, look who's here. - Hello. Marie. 279 00:10:22,478 --> 00:10:24,518 Oh, is this a replacement for Bridget? 280 00:10:24,519 --> 00:10:26,060 I recruited her from the bar. 281 00:10:26,061 --> 00:10:27,643 - She's a stand-in for you. - Oh, great. 282 00:10:27,644 --> 00:10:29,726 We gotta get you a chair. Where's the waiter? 283 00:10:29,727 --> 00:10:31,268 Yeah. You know what? 284 00:10:31,269 --> 00:10:32,726 You need to go now. 285 00:10:32,727 --> 00:10:34,185 - What? - Yeah. 286 00:10:34,186 --> 00:10:36,602 You stood in. Now it's time to stand up. 287 00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:40,518 But, hey, very good job. Good stand-in job. 288 00:10:40,519 --> 00:10:42,518 - Really? - But first team has arrived, so... 289 00:10:42,519 --> 00:10:44,934 And listen, Larry, if you ever need an actor, 290 00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:46,518 you call me, okay? 291 00:10:46,519 --> 00:10:47,768 You never know. 292 00:10:47,769 --> 00:10:48,976 Okay, I'm expecting the call. 293 00:10:48,977 --> 00:10:50,976 Okay... well, I wouldn't go that far. 294 00:10:50,977 --> 00:10:53,684 - Well, hello there. - That was interesting. 295 00:10:53,685 --> 00:10:55,310 - Yeah. - Hi. 296 00:10:55,311 --> 00:10:58,643 You know, it's customary when someone is 20 minutes late 297 00:10:58,644 --> 00:11:01,310 to offer an apology to their friends. 298 00:11:01,311 --> 00:11:03,226 - Am I right? - That's absolutely correct. 299 00:11:03,227 --> 00:11:05,185 - That's accurate? - Yes. 300 00:11:05,186 --> 00:11:06,518 Sorry. 301 00:11:06,519 --> 00:11:09,143 What? That's a "sorry"? 302 00:11:09,144 --> 00:11:10,976 Don't insult us with that. 303 00:11:10,977 --> 00:11:12,518 If you're more than ten minutes late, 304 00:11:12,519 --> 00:11:14,352 it's gotta be a profuse apology. 305 00:11:14,353 --> 00:11:16,684 That was an apology like you were one minute late. 306 00:11:16,685 --> 00:11:18,393 - Am I right? - He's right. 307 00:11:18,394 --> 00:11:21,435 And frankly, your "sorry" was not commensurate with the offense. 308 00:11:21,436 --> 00:11:22,976 Can I get a drink? 309 00:11:22,977 --> 00:11:24,976 If I was 20 minutes late, 310 00:11:24,977 --> 00:11:29,101 I'd be apologizing like I accidentally killed your family. 311 00:11:29,102 --> 00:11:30,768 - Guess what. - Yeah? 312 00:11:30,769 --> 00:11:33,060 You did accidentally kill my family. 313 00:11:33,061 --> 00:11:35,684 My nephew, the joy of my life, 314 00:11:35,685 --> 00:11:39,060 was killed by the bulls, and it was your fault! 315 00:11:39,061 --> 00:11:40,478 Okay?! 316 00:11:42,810 --> 00:11:44,810 Sorry. 317 00:11:47,227 --> 00:11:48,851 Bottle of wine, anybody? 318 00:11:48,852 --> 00:11:50,684 - Yes! Good idea. - Yeah. 319 00:11:50,685 --> 00:11:52,018 - Red or white? - Love red. 320 00:11:52,019 --> 00:11:53,185 So what's happening? 321 00:11:53,186 --> 00:11:56,186 I had a colonoscopy. Clean as a whistle. 322 00:12:10,186 --> 00:12:11,684 - Hey! - Hey, good morning, Larry. 323 00:12:11,685 --> 00:12:13,893 Good morning. 324 00:12:13,894 --> 00:12:15,768 Hey, L.D. Thanks for paintball. 325 00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:18,393 Oh, y-you're very welcome. You're very welcome. 326 00:12:18,394 --> 00:12:20,101 Hey, that was so sweet of you. 327 00:12:20,102 --> 00:12:21,726 - Oh. It was nothing. - Thank you. Really. 328 00:12:21,727 --> 00:12:22,976 - Nothing. - It's gonna be fun. 329 00:12:22,977 --> 00:12:24,809 - See you inside. - Okay. 330 00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,226 You know what, get me the salmon... 331 00:12:26,227 --> 00:12:28,518 - get me the salmon with the salad. - Cool. 332 00:12:28,519 --> 00:12:29,934 Thanks for the paintball, L.D. 333 00:12:29,935 --> 00:12:31,726 You are very, very welcome. 334 00:12:31,727 --> 00:12:34,435 Speaking of the paintball, that is so nice. 335 00:12:34,436 --> 00:12:36,018 The crew is freaking out. 336 00:12:36,019 --> 00:12:38,018 Oh, I'm happy to do it. 337 00:12:38,019 --> 00:12:40,893 I love paintball and I am sorry I can't go. 338 00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,185 I have a gig booked. 339 00:12:42,186 --> 00:12:43,310 Shooting a commercial 340 00:12:43,311 --> 00:12:46,268 for this feline distemper medication. 341 00:12:46,269 --> 00:12:48,976 I have my shots, so I know how to deal with the cats. 342 00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,768 Mm, ah. What a shame. 343 00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:52,934 How do you have an event like this without Cody Gutcher? 344 00:12:52,935 --> 00:12:55,268 - I know. - Huh? 345 00:12:55,269 --> 00:12:57,809 What are they paying you for this thing, may I ask? 346 00:12:57,810 --> 00:13:00,934 It's my day rate. 1,200. 347 00:13:00,935 --> 00:13:03,101 Okay, you know what? 348 00:13:03,102 --> 00:13:05,185 I'm gonna take care of that for you. 349 00:13:05,186 --> 00:13:06,768 I'll give you the 1,200. 350 00:13:06,769 --> 00:13:09,060 Tell them you can't make it. You're going to paintball. 351 00:13:09,061 --> 00:13:11,518 Oh, my God, Larry! - Huh? 352 00:13:11,519 --> 00:13:12,260 Thank you! 353 00:13:12,261 --> 00:13:14,060 We couldn't do it without you, Cody Gutcher. 354 00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:16,726 - You gotta be there. - Thank you so much. You are a prince. 355 00:13:16,727 --> 00:13:19,143 You're welcome, and let me just say this... 356 00:13:19,144 --> 00:13:20,726 that is a fantastic "thank you." 357 00:13:20,727 --> 00:13:23,477 That was a "thank you" commensurate with the gesture. 358 00:13:23,478 --> 00:13:25,143 And it's worth it for that "thank you." 359 00:13:25,144 --> 00:13:27,310 - What do you think about that? - We're gonna have a blast. 360 00:13:27,311 --> 00:13:29,101 I love that "thank you." Love it. 361 00:13:29,102 --> 00:13:30,310 My pleasure. 362 00:13:30,311 --> 00:13:32,643 Jeremy? 363 00:13:32,644 --> 00:13:34,268 - Hey, Murray. - Ah, Larry. 364 00:13:34,269 --> 00:13:37,352 Oh, listen, about the, uh... the harem scene. 365 00:13:37,353 --> 00:13:38,684 There's too many redheads. 366 00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:40,310 - Six? - Yeah. 367 00:13:40,311 --> 00:13:41,976 What do you think? Four? 368 00:13:41,977 --> 00:13:43,477 Yeah, you're right. 369 00:13:43,478 --> 00:13:44,643 I think four. Four is better. 370 00:13:44,644 --> 00:13:46,684 Thanks, thanks. 371 00:13:46,685 --> 00:13:48,810 Oh, same pants as yesterday. 372 00:13:51,019 --> 00:13:52,643 What, are you tracking my outfits? 373 00:13:52,644 --> 00:13:55,143 No, no, just... observing, that's all. 374 00:13:55,144 --> 00:13:58,393 You know, I was late and they had the belt in them from yesterday, 375 00:13:58,394 --> 00:14:00,060 so I picked them up 'cause I was in a hurry. 376 00:14:00,061 --> 00:14:01,934 They're not dirty or anything. 377 00:14:01,935 --> 00:14:03,851 Then by all means, wear them again. 378 00:14:03,852 --> 00:14:05,809 You're an outfit tracker, Murray. 379 00:14:05,810 --> 00:14:07,310 Nobody likes an outfit tracker. 380 00:14:07,311 --> 00:14:09,477 I don't know why a casual observation 381 00:14:09,478 --> 00:14:11,518 has made you so uncomfortable. 382 00:14:11,519 --> 00:14:13,768 I just feel like I'm living in some kind of clothing police state, 383 00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:15,143 like it's 1984. 384 00:14:15,144 --> 00:14:16,518 Big Murray's watching me. 385 00:14:16,519 --> 00:14:17,934 Big Murray's not watching you. 386 00:14:17,935 --> 00:14:19,352 No, Big Murray is watching. 387 00:14:19,353 --> 00:14:21,226 Big Murray has other things to do. 388 00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:24,060 Apparently, Big Murray has nothing else to do but outfit track. 389 00:14:24,061 --> 00:14:25,477 I'm not judging you, 390 00:14:25,478 --> 00:14:27,976 I'm just noticing that you wore the same pants. 391 00:14:27,977 --> 00:14:30,144 Okay, Big Murray. 392 00:14:37,227 --> 00:14:40,518 - Robes, robes, robes... - Hey, L.D., psyched about the paintball. 393 00:14:40,519 --> 00:14:43,018 - Thank you so much. - Oh, my pleasure! Of course! 394 00:14:43,019 --> 00:14:44,934 You are the kindest. Thank you so much. 395 00:14:44,935 --> 00:14:46,353 Oh, you're so welcome! 396 00:14:47,561 --> 00:14:49,352 - Hey. - What's up? 397 00:14:49,353 --> 00:14:52,352 I have great news. We got a signer. 398 00:14:52,353 --> 00:14:54,018 For... for deaf people? 399 00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:55,435 Yeah, yeah, for deaf people. 400 00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:56,851 And anyone who enjoys ASL. 401 00:14:56,852 --> 00:14:58,893 I mean, she's basically on the side 402 00:14:58,894 --> 00:15:01,060 and she signs throughout the performance. 403 00:15:01,061 --> 00:15:03,518 - It's awesome. - Do deaf people go to musicals? 404 00:15:03,519 --> 00:15:05,934 - Yeah. - Why don't we just have 405 00:15:05,935 --> 00:15:08,643 one performance a month for all deaf people? 406 00:15:08,644 --> 00:15:12,060 And we don't have to be distracted by a signer onstage. 407 00:15:12,061 --> 00:15:14,352 You want to segregate the deaf? 408 00:15:14,353 --> 00:15:16,018 No, I don't want to segregate them. 409 00:15:16,019 --> 00:15:17,768 Yeah, separate, but equal. 410 00:15:17,769 --> 00:15:19,976 Special, but equal. 411 00:15:19,977 --> 00:15:22,060 She's gonna be incredible. You'll see. 412 00:15:22,061 --> 00:15:24,393 It's really inclusive. Hey, let me ask you something. 413 00:15:24,394 --> 00:15:25,560 Do you like this robe? 414 00:15:25,561 --> 00:15:27,726 I... yeah, it's nice. I like it. 415 00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:29,768 That's what I thought. We need to see more robes. 416 00:15:29,769 --> 00:15:31,561 You're gonna have to go shopping again. 417 00:15:33,227 --> 00:15:34,269 Thank you. 418 00:15:35,894 --> 00:15:38,560 Okay, you're driving this poor guy nuts, okay? 419 00:15:38,561 --> 00:15:40,684 - That's the gig. - He's gonna quit. 420 00:15:40,685 --> 00:15:42,643 No, he's gonna get in the weeds with us. 421 00:15:42,644 --> 00:15:44,268 He's gonna emerge with the perfect robe. 422 00:15:44,269 --> 00:15:45,684 Okay, well, I'm telling you, 423 00:15:45,685 --> 00:15:47,602 he's one foot out the door right now. 424 00:15:47,603 --> 00:15:50,226 Well, as long as he's one foot out the door finding the right robe, 425 00:15:50,227 --> 00:15:51,851 I don't give a fuck. 426 00:15:51,852 --> 00:15:53,726 - Hi! - Hi! 427 00:15:53,727 --> 00:15:56,060 - Lin! Hi! - Oh, my God, you made it! 428 00:15:56,061 --> 00:15:59,477 - So good to see you. - Hi, Ernst. Great to see you. How are you? 429 00:15:59,478 --> 00:16:02,143 Larry, this is my cousin Valentina and her husband Ernst. 430 00:16:02,144 --> 00:16:03,101 Hey, nice to meet you. 431 00:16:03,102 --> 00:16:05,435 - Valentina? Hi. - Hi. Yeah. 432 00:16:05,436 --> 00:16:07,060 - Hello. - Hello. Hi. 433 00:16:07,061 --> 00:16:08,934 - Hi, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you as well. 434 00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:11,934 So, is this the wardrobe area? Tell me about this place. 435 00:16:11,935 --> 00:16:14,602 Yes, this is the wardrobe area. This is where all the costumes in the show are. 436 00:16:14,603 --> 00:16:16,226 And we're just getting everything, uh... 437 00:16:16,227 --> 00:16:19,310 I'm Gregory Michael David. I'm the costume designer. 438 00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,560 - Hi. Valentina. - Hi. Nice to meet you. 439 00:16:21,561 --> 00:16:23,809 - This is your fiefdom. - Yes, yes! 440 00:16:23,810 --> 00:16:26,684 This is the workshop, so, yeah, feel free to look around. 441 00:16:26,685 --> 00:16:29,768 Yeah, just seems like fun to have people try on your creations. 442 00:16:29,769 --> 00:16:32,893 Yes. If you wanna try anything on, please let me know. 443 00:16:32,894 --> 00:16:34,602 Yes. Do you have things in turquoise? 444 00:16:34,603 --> 00:16:36,893 - I could pull some stuff for you, yeah. - I would love that. 445 00:16:36,894 --> 00:16:38,851 He seems very competent. 446 00:16:38,852 --> 00:16:41,310 Yeah. We're a robe away, but he's doing great. 447 00:16:41,311 --> 00:16:43,018 I get it. 448 00:16:43,019 --> 00:16:44,478 How long you two been married? 449 00:16:45,810 --> 00:16:47,851 - Um... a few years. - Yeah. 450 00:16:47,852 --> 00:16:49,310 Kids? 451 00:16:49,311 --> 00:16:50,809 - Mmm, no. - No. 452 00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:53,768 - We're not gonna have kids. - No. Cats. 453 00:16:53,769 --> 00:16:55,851 - Why don't you guys go upstairs... - Okay. 454 00:16:55,852 --> 00:16:58,060 ...and I'll give you guys a tour as soon as I get upstairs. 455 00:16:58,061 --> 00:16:59,809 They've got the directions to your place. 456 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:03,310 Yeah, yeah, just go over anytime, make yourself at home, 457 00:17:03,311 --> 00:17:05,478 and stay as long as you like, actually. 458 00:17:06,603 --> 00:17:08,227 - Thanks. - Thank you. 459 00:17:11,727 --> 00:17:15,518 All right. I see where you got your tepid "thank yous" from. 460 00:17:15,519 --> 00:17:17,477 That was worse than your "thank you." 461 00:17:17,478 --> 00:17:20,101 That seemed like a perfectly appropriate "thank you" to me. 462 00:17:20,102 --> 00:17:21,393 - Oh, did it? Really? - Yeah. 463 00:17:21,394 --> 00:17:23,018 What is it with you Mirandas? 464 00:17:23,019 --> 00:17:24,976 You're missing some kind of... 465 00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:26,352 "thank you" gene or something. 466 00:17:26,353 --> 00:17:29,268 I think we all said it. 467 00:17:29,269 --> 00:17:31,101 Yeah. Okay. 468 00:17:31,102 --> 00:17:32,684 - Okay, I'll see you upstairs. - See you upstairs. 469 00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:36,560 Yeah. Let's find a Dumpster for this bullshit. 470 00:17:36,561 --> 00:17:39,519 Hey, those are from a rental house, Lin. 471 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:45,060 Okay, everybody, we're at places, please, for "Salman, Get Out." 472 00:17:45,061 --> 00:17:47,518 Full tech and music. 473 00:17:47,519 --> 00:17:49,643 - Is our signer here? - Yes, right here. 474 00:17:49,644 --> 00:17:51,102 Come on up here, please. 475 00:17:53,311 --> 00:17:54,726 We have a place for you. 476 00:17:54,727 --> 00:17:57,684 That spike mark, downstage left. 477 00:17:57,685 --> 00:18:00,602 Places for the top! 478 00:18:00,603 --> 00:18:02,435 All right. 479 00:18:02,436 --> 00:18:05,226 - Good morning! - Hello, darling. 480 00:18:05,227 --> 00:18:08,726 And breakfast for our guest. 481 00:18:08,727 --> 00:18:10,352 No granola? 482 00:18:10,353 --> 00:18:12,186 Ah, no. I... 483 00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:15,934 You should be grateful. 484 00:18:15,935 --> 00:18:17,934 Hey, uh, Salman, hey, you should be grateful. 485 00:18:17,935 --> 00:18:20,060 I'm grateful. I'm just a little tired of muesli. 486 00:18:20,061 --> 00:18:23,518 - You can be grateful and tired of muesli. - Hey. 487 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:26,602 - Salman, we have to talk. - What do you want to talk about? 488 00:18:26,603 --> 00:18:28,435 We took you into our home. 489 00:18:28,436 --> 00:18:30,934 You wouldn't have made it on your own. 490 00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:32,893 But now it's time for you to go. 491 00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:35,602 I have to say I'm a little thrown. 492 00:18:36,810 --> 00:18:38,643 - You're a slob. - You're a pig. 493 00:18:38,644 --> 00:18:42,268 - You're a lazy lout. - So what are you saying? 494 00:18:42,269 --> 00:18:44,477 ♪ Salman, get out! ♪ 495 00:18:44,478 --> 00:18:47,060 ♪ I'm a great guest, you hardly know I'm there ♪ 496 00:18:47,061 --> 00:18:50,226 ♪ You walk around in a robe with no underwear ♪ 497 00:18:50,227 --> 00:18:52,934 ♪ If you make me leave, I'll be dead, no doubt ♪ 498 00:18:52,935 --> 00:18:54,477 ♪ Ugh! Close your legs ♪ 499 00:18:54,478 --> 00:18:56,643 ♪ And, Salman, get out ♪ 500 00:19:02,727 --> 00:19:04,101 And stay out! 501 00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:06,143 - Don't come back! - Lose my number! 502 00:19:06,144 --> 00:19:07,726 Go stay with the ayatollah! 503 00:19:07,727 --> 00:19:09,352 ♪ Salman, Salman ♪ 504 00:19:09,353 --> 00:19:13,809 ♪ Salman, Salman, Salman, Salman, Salman ♪ 505 00:19:13,810 --> 00:19:15,143 ♪ Salman, get out! ♪ 506 00:19:17,144 --> 00:19:19,060 Okay, great! 507 00:19:19,061 --> 00:19:20,851 Great work, everybody. 508 00:19:20,852 --> 00:19:22,643 It was good. Too bad you missed it. 509 00:19:22,644 --> 00:19:24,560 - Oh, no, I... I saw it. - Yeah. 510 00:19:24,561 --> 00:19:25,602 Thank you, Cody. 511 00:19:25,603 --> 00:19:27,143 - Thank you. - Thanks, guys. 512 00:19:27,144 --> 00:19:28,809 - Tina, you're a star. Thank you. - Thank you. 513 00:19:28,810 --> 00:19:30,478 Hey, Larry, can I talk to you for a sec? 514 00:19:31,810 --> 00:19:33,934 I feel like... 515 00:19:33,935 --> 00:19:35,976 I feel like the number's not working. 516 00:19:35,977 --> 00:19:38,310 - Oh. You know why it's not working? - Why? 517 00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:40,143 'Cause everybody's looking at her tits, that's why. 518 00:19:40,144 --> 00:19:40,743 What? 519 00:19:40,744 --> 00:19:43,143 Bill didn't see ten seconds of that number. 520 00:19:43,144 --> 00:19:44,602 He was staring at her the whole time, 521 00:19:44,603 --> 00:19:46,352 as was every other guy in the audience. 522 00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:48,726 It's just the reasons he's getting kicked out of the house 523 00:19:48,727 --> 00:19:49,851 are so fuckin' petty. 524 00:19:49,852 --> 00:19:51,602 No, I completely disagree with you. 525 00:19:51,603 --> 00:19:53,185 Look, he's a terrible houseguest. 526 00:19:53,186 --> 00:19:55,851 His life depends on his being a good houseguest. 527 00:19:55,852 --> 00:19:57,809 He's a pig! He doesn't do the dishes! 528 00:19:57,810 --> 00:19:58,893 That's funny! 529 00:19:58,894 --> 00:20:00,477 Maybe we just need different reasons. 530 00:20:00,478 --> 00:20:02,352 Okay, I'll come up with some other reasons. 531 00:20:02,353 --> 00:20:03,809 - How's that? - Okay. 532 00:20:03,810 --> 00:20:06,143 - It's not gonna work anyway. - Why not? 533 00:20:06,144 --> 00:20:08,602 Because men will look at tits over anything. 534 00:20:08,603 --> 00:20:11,393 You could be in the last inning of the World Series, 535 00:20:11,394 --> 00:20:13,143 a 3-2 score, bases loaded, 536 00:20:13,144 --> 00:20:14,851 somebody changes the channel and there's tits on, 537 00:20:14,852 --> 00:20:16,560 they will not go back to the World Series. 538 00:20:16,561 --> 00:20:18,976 We're on the verge of making a great musical, 539 00:20:18,977 --> 00:20:20,602 and you're scapegoating tits? 540 00:20:20,603 --> 00:20:23,060 - It's the scene. - No, it's the tits! 541 00:20:23,061 --> 00:20:24,768 - It's the scene. - Tits! 542 00:20:24,769 --> 00:20:27,226 - Scene! Scene! Scene! - Tits! Tits! Tits! 543 00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:29,019 Scene, and she stays. 544 00:20:30,727 --> 00:20:32,393 Sorry. 545 00:20:32,394 --> 00:20:34,643 All right, insufficient "sorry." 546 00:20:34,644 --> 00:20:37,643 Terrible, awful, horrible "sorry." 547 00:20:37,644 --> 00:20:39,393 Apparently, the Miranda "sorrys" 548 00:20:39,394 --> 00:20:41,935 are just as bad as their "thank yous." 549 00:20:43,227 --> 00:20:45,185 You heard me... 1,200. 550 00:20:45,186 --> 00:20:48,560 1,200 fuckin' dollars to skip a day on his real job 551 00:20:48,561 --> 00:20:50,226 to come with you guys paintballing? 552 00:20:50,227 --> 00:20:52,185 - You're a good guy. - Thank you. 553 00:20:52,186 --> 00:20:54,268 - I respect you for that. - People don't think I'm a nice guy. 554 00:20:54,269 --> 00:20:55,768 Basically, you're paying this motherfucker 555 00:20:55,769 --> 00:20:58,060 to shoot people with a goddamn paint gun. 556 00:20:58,061 --> 00:20:59,186 See? 557 00:21:00,519 --> 00:21:01,768 You know what I just realized? 558 00:21:01,769 --> 00:21:05,185 - Mm-hmm? - I gave this guy 1,200, 559 00:21:05,186 --> 00:21:07,602 but he wasn't gonna make 1,200. 560 00:21:07,603 --> 00:21:09,185 - That's his gross. - Mmm! 561 00:21:09,186 --> 00:21:11,435 They're gonna deduct taxes from what he's getting. 562 00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:14,560 He'd only wind up with 700 or 750. 563 00:21:14,561 --> 00:21:16,934 The guy just made $500 off me. 564 00:21:16,935 --> 00:21:18,518 You fucked up. 565 00:21:18,519 --> 00:21:20,226 See, when you give somebody money, 566 00:21:20,227 --> 00:21:21,768 you gotta add that shit up in your brain. 567 00:21:21,769 --> 00:21:23,809 You FICA. You take the fuckin' difference out! 568 00:21:23,810 --> 00:21:25,602 - You FICA! - I'm not FICA! 569 00:21:25,603 --> 00:21:26,934 You "FIC'd" up. 570 00:21:26,935 --> 00:21:28,809 He just made money on you! 571 00:21:32,102 --> 00:21:34,268 Ah. Hello. 572 00:21:34,269 --> 00:21:35,934 Ernest, Valentina. 573 00:21:35,935 --> 00:21:37,684 - Hi. - Hello, Larry. 574 00:21:37,685 --> 00:21:38,769 Please, come in. 575 00:21:42,102 --> 00:21:44,851 Yeah. Well, this is it. 576 00:21:44,852 --> 00:21:46,934 Looks great. 577 00:21:46,935 --> 00:21:48,518 Oh, man. 578 00:21:48,519 --> 00:21:50,268 Oh, this is Leon. 579 00:21:50,269 --> 00:21:51,684 He lives in my guesthouse. 580 00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:53,602 - Hello, Leon. - I like that look. 581 00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:56,185 - Yeah, I like that jacket. - Thank you very much. 582 00:21:56,186 --> 00:21:57,602 My mother gave it to me. 583 00:21:57,603 --> 00:21:59,185 - Your mother gave you the jacket? - Yes. 584 00:21:59,186 --> 00:22:00,268 It was hers. 585 00:22:00,269 --> 00:22:01,684 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 586 00:22:01,685 --> 00:22:03,144 They make that bag for men? 587 00:22:04,561 --> 00:22:07,185 Yes, this bag is made for men, women, 588 00:22:07,186 --> 00:22:09,643 anybody who enjoys carrying things around. 589 00:22:09,644 --> 00:22:12,310 - You two are married? - Yeah. Yes. 590 00:22:12,311 --> 00:22:14,725 So you got on one knee and asked her to marry you? 591 00:22:14,726 --> 00:22:15,726 No, no, no. 592 00:22:15,727 --> 00:22:17,684 It was during the intermission of "Swan Lake." 593 00:22:17,685 --> 00:22:19,560 I just looked to her and said, "Will you marry me?" 594 00:22:19,561 --> 00:22:21,643 Okay, that's a ballet, all right? You got it? 595 00:22:21,644 --> 00:22:23,643 - Last one. - No, no! No last one. 596 00:22:23,644 --> 00:22:26,226 Did you get on top of her on the honeymoon night? 597 00:22:26,227 --> 00:22:27,809 Shut the fuck up. Get out of here. 598 00:22:27,810 --> 00:22:29,393 I'm just asking questions. 599 00:22:29,394 --> 00:22:32,185 Don't ask any more questions, okay? Shut up. 600 00:22:32,186 --> 00:22:35,101 Um, you guys interested in a house tour? 601 00:22:35,102 --> 00:22:37,893 - S-Sure. - Okay. 602 00:22:37,894 --> 00:22:39,684 Will you be joining us, Leon? 603 00:22:39,685 --> 00:22:41,018 Yeah. 604 00:22:41,019 --> 00:22:42,061 Cool. 605 00:22:45,353 --> 00:22:46,851 Is that good? 606 00:22:46,852 --> 00:22:48,477 Dining room, kitchen's that way. 607 00:22:48,478 --> 00:22:49,893 By the way, make yourself at home. 608 00:22:49,894 --> 00:22:51,893 You know, feel free to use the refrigerator. 609 00:22:51,894 --> 00:22:54,477 You've got refrigerator privileges. How's that? 610 00:22:54,478 --> 00:22:55,684 - Cool. - Thank you. 611 00:22:55,685 --> 00:22:59,185 Before I forget, this little gadget, okay? 612 00:22:59,186 --> 00:23:00,643 Watch this. 613 00:23:00,644 --> 00:23:02,893 You want the curtains down, you press that button, 614 00:23:02,894 --> 00:23:04,851 now you stop it, and now they go up. 615 00:23:04,852 --> 00:23:06,851 Isn't that great? I love this thing. 616 00:23:06,852 --> 00:23:08,435 Love it. 617 00:23:08,436 --> 00:23:11,101 I don't see why I would ever need that. 618 00:23:11,102 --> 00:23:12,518 No, no! Look, look! See? 619 00:23:12,519 --> 00:23:13,851 Here, look. 620 00:23:13,852 --> 00:23:15,518 Voila! 621 00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:18,435 You're showing us the same function? 622 00:23:18,436 --> 00:23:20,393 Yeah, I guess. 623 00:23:20,394 --> 00:23:22,393 - Hmm. - Hmm. 624 00:23:22,394 --> 00:23:23,726 Um... oh. 625 00:23:23,727 --> 00:23:25,143 Bedrooms are upstairs, 626 00:23:25,144 --> 00:23:27,893 and, uh, there are two guest rooms if you'd like. 627 00:23:27,894 --> 00:23:29,684 Whoo! 628 00:23:29,685 --> 00:23:31,893 Why would we need two bedrooms? 629 00:23:31,894 --> 00:23:34,893 No, no... no reason. Uh... 630 00:23:34,894 --> 00:23:36,101 No reason? 631 00:23:36,102 --> 00:23:37,602 We are husband and wife. 632 00:23:37,603 --> 00:23:39,602 We sleep in one bedroom. 633 00:23:39,603 --> 00:23:42,518 No, but I know a lot of people who sleep in separate bedrooms. 634 00:23:42,519 --> 00:23:43,560 Couples. Yeah. 635 00:23:43,561 --> 00:23:45,143 - Really? Like who? - Mmm. 636 00:23:45,144 --> 00:23:47,560 You want names? Okay, I'll give you names. 637 00:23:47,561 --> 00:23:50,560 Um, Pete Rose, Tony Perez, 638 00:23:50,561 --> 00:23:53,352 Johnny Bench, uh, George Foster, 639 00:23:53,353 --> 00:23:54,809 Dave Concepción. 640 00:23:54,810 --> 00:23:57,101 You... you've named six old baseball players 641 00:23:57,102 --> 00:23:59,934 who are married but sleep in separate bedrooms? 642 00:23:59,935 --> 00:24:01,518 Yeah. 643 00:24:01,519 --> 00:24:03,393 Even the Hit King? 644 00:24:03,394 --> 00:24:06,643 Yeah. Hit King especially. 645 00:24:06,644 --> 00:24:09,477 Well, we sleep in a bedroom together. 646 00:24:09,478 --> 00:24:11,768 - Yeah. - You know what, um... 647 00:24:11,769 --> 00:24:14,768 Let's forget about it. I'm... I'm... I'm sorry. 648 00:24:14,769 --> 00:24:17,226 I'm sorry, was that an apology? 649 00:24:17,227 --> 00:24:18,435 No good? 650 00:24:18,436 --> 00:24:21,143 There wasn't really any emotion to it. 651 00:24:21,144 --> 00:24:24,268 Yeah. Your eyes were bouncing around like a cat with strings. 652 00:24:24,269 --> 00:24:27,226 - Yeah. - Well, I'm really sorry if my apology was... 653 00:24:27,227 --> 00:24:28,602 was not sufficient. 654 00:24:28,603 --> 00:24:31,018 You've just apologized for your apology? 655 00:24:31,019 --> 00:24:34,018 - Yes! - That was better than the first apology. 656 00:24:34,019 --> 00:24:36,435 Why don't you just use that apology? 657 00:24:36,436 --> 00:24:39,060 You know what, Larry, we're gonna go upstairs 658 00:24:39,061 --> 00:24:42,477 to, uh, the one guest bedroom. 659 00:24:42,478 --> 00:24:44,019 Perfectly acceptable. 660 00:24:53,019 --> 00:24:55,643 You got yourself in some shit this time. 661 00:24:55,644 --> 00:24:57,810 They're a couple of freaks, man. 662 00:25:03,144 --> 00:25:04,809 Could you believe this kitchen? 663 00:25:04,810 --> 00:25:06,185 - And you know what a great cook I am. - Yeah. 664 00:25:06,186 --> 00:25:08,426 - The meals I make here, right, Jeff? - Yeah. 665 00:25:08,427 --> 00:25:11,268 It must have cost millions upon millions of dollars. 666 00:25:11,269 --> 00:25:12,643 Well, it's big, but it's intimate. 667 00:25:12,644 --> 00:25:13,934 We sit by the fire. 668 00:25:13,935 --> 00:25:15,976 - It's cozy, it's warm. - Cozy? 669 00:25:15,977 --> 00:25:17,143 This is cozy? 670 00:25:17,144 --> 00:25:19,352 This is the best party house. Right, Jeff? 671 00:25:19,353 --> 00:25:22,809 - Yeah. - So, did you figure it out about Saturday? 672 00:25:22,810 --> 00:25:24,851 Yeah, yeah, I got the whole thing figured out. 673 00:25:24,852 --> 00:25:26,684 I'm gonna go to paintball, then I'm gonna go to the wedding. 674 00:25:26,685 --> 00:25:29,851 Because Sammi, when I mentioned that you had some problems 675 00:25:29,852 --> 00:25:32,268 and conflict, you should have seen the look on her face. 676 00:25:32,269 --> 00:25:34,809 Susie, let me tell you something, okay? 677 00:25:34,810 --> 00:25:37,477 I've known Sammi since she was born. 678 00:25:37,478 --> 00:25:41,310 And one of the great joys in my life has... 679 00:25:41,311 --> 00:25:45,018 has been watching her blossom into this beautiful, sophisticated young lady. 680 00:25:45,019 --> 00:25:46,143 Mm-hmm. 681 00:25:46,144 --> 00:25:48,518 I won't miss her wedding. No way. 682 00:25:48,519 --> 00:25:50,560 Oh, Lar, that's so sweet. Are you serious? 683 00:25:50,561 --> 00:25:53,101 - No. - All right, just fuckin' be there, okay? 684 00:25:53,102 --> 00:25:54,726 - Okay. - Don't disappoint me. 685 00:25:54,727 --> 00:25:56,643 - No, I won't. - So, uh... 686 00:25:56,644 --> 00:25:59,851 Victor's parents are coming tonight, Lisa and Paul. 687 00:25:59,852 --> 00:26:01,726 And they're deaf, you know. 688 00:26:01,727 --> 00:26:03,809 Oh. What is that, mold? 689 00:26:03,810 --> 00:26:06,101 It's not fucking mold! It's cheese! 690 00:26:06,102 --> 00:26:07,893 - Cheese? Look at it. - It's cheese. 691 00:26:07,894 --> 00:26:10,226 Oh, there's the Chesnicks. 692 00:26:10,227 --> 00:26:11,310 Wait till you meet them. 693 00:26:11,311 --> 00:26:13,726 They are just such sweet people. 694 00:26:15,186 --> 00:26:18,809 By the way, this house... oh, my God. 695 00:26:18,810 --> 00:26:22,477 - It's wrong. - Yeah. Unbelievable how life works, isn't it? 696 00:26:22,478 --> 00:26:24,893 Just to get laid. I'm an idiot. 697 00:26:24,894 --> 00:26:26,268 - Oh. - All right. 698 00:26:26,269 --> 00:26:28,560 - Okay. Yeah. - Oh, hi! 699 00:26:28,561 --> 00:26:29,851 How you doing, Victor? - I'm good, man. 700 00:26:29,852 --> 00:26:31,060 - How you doing? - Good. 701 00:26:31,061 --> 00:26:32,893 Hey, I want to introduce my mom and my dad, 702 00:26:32,894 --> 00:26:33,934 Lisa and Paul. 703 00:26:33,935 --> 00:26:35,851 How do you do? Hello. 704 00:26:35,852 --> 00:26:38,560 Hi. Larry. Larry. 705 00:26:38,561 --> 00:26:39,768 Larry. 706 00:26:39,769 --> 00:26:41,310 Rhymes with "Harry." 707 00:26:41,311 --> 00:26:42,560 - Hi, babe. - What's going on? 708 00:26:42,561 --> 00:26:44,226 - Ask them how they met. - Yeah. 709 00:26:44,227 --> 00:26:45,934 How did you two meet? 710 00:26:45,935 --> 00:26:48,310 Were you fixed up because you're deaf? 711 00:26:48,311 --> 00:26:50,934 Ugh, stupid fucking question. 712 00:26:50,935 --> 00:26:52,602 No, I'm not asking them that. 713 00:26:52,603 --> 00:26:54,643 - I think it's a good question. - It's a good question. 714 00:26:54,644 --> 00:26:57,310 I'd be curious, too. I never asked it. 715 00:26:57,311 --> 00:26:59,602 Ah. Bathroom? Around that way. 716 00:26:59,603 --> 00:27:00,935 Yeah, there. 717 00:27:02,102 --> 00:27:03,268 I'm hungry. 718 00:27:03,269 --> 00:27:04,893 - Yeah? - Hungry. Let's eat. 719 00:27:04,894 --> 00:27:06,435 - No. We can't eat yet. - Why? 720 00:27:06,436 --> 00:27:09,101 - Everybody's not here. - Who are we waiting for? 721 00:27:09,102 --> 00:27:11,477 - Funkhouser. - Who else? 722 00:27:11,478 --> 00:27:12,934 What? Again? 723 00:27:12,935 --> 00:27:14,643 He's a guest. We're waiting for him to eat. 724 00:27:14,644 --> 00:27:16,560 We're not gonna eat before Funkhouser gets here. 725 00:27:16,561 --> 00:27:18,727 - This is your policy? - Yes, it's my policy. 726 00:27:20,061 --> 00:27:21,643 Yeah, "hold your horses." 727 00:27:21,644 --> 00:27:22,893 - "Hold your horses"? - Yeah. 728 00:27:22,894 --> 00:27:24,934 This is... this is "Hold your horses"? 729 00:27:24,935 --> 00:27:26,268 That's a bad sign. 730 00:27:26,269 --> 00:27:29,268 "Hold your horses" is, "Whoa, pull back! 731 00:27:29,269 --> 00:27:30,560 Hold your horses!" 732 00:27:30,561 --> 00:27:32,976 - Is that it? - Yeah. 733 00:27:32,977 --> 00:27:34,477 Mine's better than yours. 734 00:27:34,478 --> 00:27:36,352 This? No. 735 00:27:36,353 --> 00:27:39,893 That's "hold your horses." Yeah. Thank you. 736 00:27:39,894 --> 00:27:42,226 I'll bet I could come up with some good signs 737 00:27:42,227 --> 00:27:46,143 that would improve sign language. 738 00:27:46,144 --> 00:27:47,726 How about "dog"? 739 00:27:47,727 --> 00:27:49,851 Yeah. Yeah. 740 00:27:49,852 --> 00:27:51,477 - No. - What would you do? 741 00:27:53,144 --> 00:27:55,310 "Dog." 742 00:27:55,311 --> 00:27:59,019 I can improve the whole language. 743 00:28:01,561 --> 00:28:03,643 - Bullshit. - Oh. 744 00:28:03,644 --> 00:28:05,018 - All right, you know what? - No. 745 00:28:05,019 --> 00:28:06,726 I have people I want you to meet. 746 00:28:06,727 --> 00:28:09,393 Come with me. Enough of your nonsense. 747 00:28:09,394 --> 00:28:10,934 Hey, did I tell you 748 00:28:10,935 --> 00:28:14,185 that Lin hired a signer for the show? 749 00:28:14,186 --> 00:28:16,602 And she's got big, big boobs! 750 00:28:16,603 --> 00:28:18,393 Very buxomy, you know? 751 00:28:18,394 --> 00:28:20,643 - They're gonna take away from the show. - Huge! 752 00:28:20,644 --> 00:28:22,684 So distracting. She's, like, big! 753 00:28:22,685 --> 00:28:23,809 - Really? - Yeah. 754 00:28:23,810 --> 00:28:25,268 I can't wait. 755 00:28:25,269 --> 00:28:28,101 The interpreter 756 00:28:28,102 --> 00:28:29,643 at our show... 757 00:28:29,644 --> 00:28:32,643 A show... ho ho! It's a musical. 758 00:28:32,644 --> 00:28:34,851 Musical. ♪ Hey! Hello! ♪ 759 00:28:34,852 --> 00:28:38,518 You know, she has a big... 760 00:28:38,519 --> 00:28:39,602 big bosom. 761 00:28:39,603 --> 00:28:41,851 Yeah, the interpreter. Yeah. 762 00:28:41,852 --> 00:28:43,809 Not that big. Yeah. About... yeah, there. 763 00:28:43,810 --> 00:28:45,893 He likes the bosom. 764 00:28:45,894 --> 00:28:47,560 Oh, I'm so sorry. 765 00:28:47,561 --> 00:28:50,101 I can't begin to apologize enough. 766 00:28:50,102 --> 00:28:52,352 I know I'm late, and I'm sorry! 767 00:28:52,353 --> 00:28:55,352 I'm sorry! I'm so... who's this? 768 00:28:55,353 --> 00:28:57,518 - That's Paul. - I'm sorry. 769 00:28:57,519 --> 00:28:59,393 - Hey, it's okay. - I'm so sorry! 770 00:28:59,394 --> 00:29:01,893 - It's a tremendous apology. - I know, it's horrible! 771 00:29:01,894 --> 00:29:04,143 What can I say to make it... make it good? 772 00:29:04,144 --> 00:29:06,560 You don't have to say anything. It's a fantastic apology. 773 00:29:06,561 --> 00:29:08,643 One of the best apologies I've ever heard! 774 00:29:08,644 --> 00:29:10,101 Gave me the chills, that apology. 775 00:29:10,102 --> 00:29:11,934 Oh, my God! I feel like getting down on my knees. 776 00:29:11,935 --> 00:29:13,435 I don't know what else to do! 777 00:29:13,436 --> 00:29:15,684 I wish that could be broadcast on national television 778 00:29:15,685 --> 00:29:18,310 so people could hear what an apology's supposed to sound like! 779 00:29:18,311 --> 00:29:20,018 - That's why you're my friend. - Thank you. 780 00:29:20,019 --> 00:29:22,352 What a fantastic fucking apology that was! 781 00:29:22,353 --> 00:29:25,143 - Okay, thank you for, thank you so much. - That was so great. 782 00:29:25,144 --> 00:29:26,643 - Thank you very much. - That was great. 783 00:29:26,644 --> 00:29:29,060 Thank you. I feel better. 784 00:29:29,061 --> 00:29:31,143 All right, okay. Everybody's here. 785 00:29:31,144 --> 00:29:33,435 - Let's eat! - Let's eat! Beautiful! 786 00:29:33,436 --> 00:29:35,060 - Let's do it. - Come on, everybody. Let's go! 787 00:29:35,061 --> 00:29:36,478 Dinner! 788 00:29:38,935 --> 00:29:41,226 - Larry, I want you here. - Sure. 789 00:29:41,227 --> 00:29:42,643 - There. - Got it. 790 00:29:46,519 --> 00:29:48,893 Okay, let's try this rewrite. 791 00:29:48,894 --> 00:29:51,101 ...darling. 792 00:29:51,102 --> 00:29:53,435 - Hello, darling. - Good morning. 793 00:29:53,436 --> 00:29:56,393 - Yes. - Hey, same pants as yesterday. 794 00:29:56,394 --> 00:29:59,435 What's this? What, are you tracking my outfits now? 795 00:29:59,436 --> 00:30:01,018 Just an observation. 796 00:30:01,019 --> 00:30:04,060 Huh. You know, for a guy with so many other concerns, 797 00:30:04,061 --> 00:30:06,934 my trousers should be at the bottom of your list. 798 00:30:06,935 --> 00:30:09,310 - Yes. - Well, as long as we're talking about it, 799 00:30:09,311 --> 00:30:11,435 am I crazy, or have you worn them three days in a row? 800 00:30:11,436 --> 00:30:13,560 - Oh, come on. - Hey, do me a favor, all right? 801 00:30:13,561 --> 00:30:15,893 Stop the tracking. No one likes to be tracked! 802 00:30:15,894 --> 00:30:18,477 Yes. How would you like it if we tracked you? 803 00:30:18,478 --> 00:30:20,310 Do it. I'm in hiding with four outfits. 804 00:30:20,311 --> 00:30:21,976 You'll never see me doubling up. 805 00:30:21,977 --> 00:30:23,809 You know why? I rotate. 806 00:30:23,810 --> 00:30:26,185 All you gotta do is rotate, baby. 807 00:30:36,644 --> 00:30:39,477 What the hell is going on up there? 808 00:30:39,478 --> 00:30:42,018 What is that? What is that, incense? 809 00:30:42,019 --> 00:30:44,477 Yeah, that's incense, brother. 810 00:30:44,478 --> 00:30:47,560 You don't burn incense in someone else's house. 811 00:30:47,561 --> 00:30:50,643 It's like cooking fish or smoking a cigar. It's a violation. 812 00:30:50,644 --> 00:30:53,477 What the hell are they doing? 813 00:31:00,144 --> 00:31:02,060 Hi. Is Ernst here? 814 00:31:02,061 --> 00:31:03,353 And Valentina. 815 00:31:04,561 --> 00:31:06,643 - Upstairs. - Great. 816 00:31:06,644 --> 00:31:08,477 Ooh, lovely home. 817 00:31:08,478 --> 00:31:11,185 Yeah. Yeah, really nice. 818 00:31:11,186 --> 00:31:13,144 Thanks for your hospitality. 819 00:31:21,269 --> 00:31:23,018 - Hell-o. - Hi. 820 00:31:30,561 --> 00:31:33,101 They're swinging! They're swinging! 821 00:32:08,061 --> 00:32:10,726 Whoo! 822 00:32:10,727 --> 00:32:12,684 You're a funny guy, man. 823 00:32:12,685 --> 00:32:14,435 You got all this sexual shit going on, 824 00:32:14,436 --> 00:32:16,477 I'm in the guesthouse chilling, you don't tell me about it? 825 00:32:16,478 --> 00:32:19,393 - How many people were here? - 15, at least. 826 00:32:19,394 --> 00:32:20,851 Well, why'd you let it go on? 827 00:32:20,852 --> 00:32:22,602 I thought you were in on it! I didn't know! 828 00:32:22,603 --> 00:32:23,768 Have you lost your mind? 829 00:32:23,769 --> 00:32:25,268 You think I knew what was going on here? 830 00:32:25,269 --> 00:32:27,310 I thought maybe you were... were sleepfuckin'. 831 00:32:27,311 --> 00:32:28,934 - I don't know. - Sleepfuckin'? 832 00:32:28,935 --> 00:32:30,560 Yeah. You know, subconsciously, 833 00:32:30,561 --> 00:32:33,768 your brain is fuckin', but your conscious mind... 834 00:32:33,769 --> 00:32:35,602 I don't think I was sleepfuckin'. 835 00:32:35,603 --> 00:32:38,268 I have a hard enough time wakefuckin'. How am I gonna sleepfuck? 836 00:32:38,269 --> 00:32:40,226 - Cousins are gone? - Everybody left. 837 00:32:40,227 --> 00:32:42,726 All right, look, I got paintball today. 838 00:32:42,727 --> 00:32:43,976 We gotta get this place cleaned up. 839 00:32:43,977 --> 00:32:45,477 I can't deal with this today. 840 00:32:45,478 --> 00:32:46,478 Okay, I'll do it. 841 00:32:50,102 --> 00:32:53,185 They ransacked the fridge and broke the goddamn Jacuzzi, too. 842 00:32:53,186 --> 00:32:55,268 - Bastards. - What are you doing? 843 00:32:55,269 --> 00:32:57,934 Last time I wore these pants, F. Murray outfit tracked me. 844 00:32:57,935 --> 00:33:00,352 I can't wear them around him anymore. My favorite pants. 845 00:33:00,353 --> 00:33:02,310 - That's crazy, man. - I'm so pissed. 846 00:33:02,311 --> 00:33:04,143 Just wear those. 847 00:33:04,144 --> 00:33:05,643 - These? - Those are nice. 848 00:33:05,644 --> 00:33:07,144 Fine. 849 00:33:08,685 --> 00:33:10,477 Jesus, I'm so goddamn late. 850 00:33:12,519 --> 00:33:14,643 Josh, I love you. You're gonna get fuckin' shellacked 851 00:33:14,644 --> 00:33:15,976 if you're dancing out there. 852 00:33:15,977 --> 00:33:17,976 We're out here playing paintball, man! 853 00:33:17,977 --> 00:33:20,435 I go for the big dog. 854 00:33:21,727 --> 00:33:23,684 I actually upgraded mine. 855 00:33:23,685 --> 00:33:25,644 Are you guys getting bitten up? 856 00:33:28,144 --> 00:33:30,477 - Hey. This is amazing. - Hey! 857 00:33:30,478 --> 00:33:34,643 Yeah, uh, first of all, so glad to see you here. 858 00:33:34,644 --> 00:33:36,060 You did it. You did this. 859 00:33:36,061 --> 00:33:39,477 I did, but something did occur to me, though, 860 00:33:39,478 --> 00:33:40,934 um, however. 861 00:33:40,935 --> 00:33:44,518 Uh, if you had taken that commercial, 862 00:33:44,519 --> 00:33:46,352 the gross would have been 1,200, 863 00:33:46,353 --> 00:33:50,976 but the net would have been, like, 700. 864 00:33:50,977 --> 00:33:52,393 Maybe 750. 865 00:33:52,394 --> 00:33:54,143 Yeah, something like that. 866 00:33:55,353 --> 00:33:57,435 I'm actually... 867 00:33:57,436 --> 00:33:59,518 kind of losing money on this deal. 868 00:33:59,519 --> 00:34:02,684 'Cause if you were only gonna make $700, 869 00:34:02,685 --> 00:34:04,851 and I gave you 1,200, 870 00:34:04,852 --> 00:34:09,185 you know, it kind of feels like you owe me... 500. 871 00:34:09,186 --> 00:34:10,934 Am I wrong? 872 00:34:10,935 --> 00:34:12,684 - Larry, you gave me this gift. - Yes. 873 00:34:12,685 --> 00:34:14,809 - I called you a prince. - I am a prince. 874 00:34:14,810 --> 00:34:17,934 Now you're asking me for a portion of the gift back. 875 00:34:17,935 --> 00:34:19,934 You're making a profit off this! 876 00:34:19,935 --> 00:34:21,643 I'm gonna call you a prick. 877 00:34:21,644 --> 00:34:24,226 With all due respect, you are the prick. 878 00:34:24,227 --> 00:34:25,893 For accepting your gift? 879 00:34:25,894 --> 00:34:28,018 It shouldn't be a gift, though. I'm not giving you a gift. 880 00:34:28,019 --> 00:34:30,393 - Wait, hang on, hang on. - I'm not FICA. 881 00:34:30,394 --> 00:34:31,768 I paid you the gross, 882 00:34:31,769 --> 00:34:34,185 and I should have paid you the net. 883 00:34:34,186 --> 00:34:36,226 Why do you keep hiking your britches up? 884 00:34:36,227 --> 00:34:38,226 Because I couldn't wear the same pants two days in a row 885 00:34:38,227 --> 00:34:40,018 because I got an outfit tracker here, 886 00:34:40,019 --> 00:34:42,560 so I had to take these pants, and they're too big on me, 887 00:34:42,561 --> 00:34:44,560 and I didn't have time to put a belt on! 888 00:34:44,561 --> 00:34:46,269 I'm not giving you the money back. 889 00:34:48,935 --> 00:34:51,185 Have fun today, Larry. 890 00:34:51,186 --> 00:34:52,851 I'm not the bad guy here! 891 00:34:52,852 --> 00:34:56,101 I'm... I'm losing... uh... 892 00:34:56,102 --> 00:34:58,226 I... I'm not the bad guy. 893 00:34:58,227 --> 00:34:59,560 - Hey, Lar. - Hey, Carly. 894 00:34:59,561 --> 00:35:00,809 - How you doing? - Good. 895 00:35:00,810 --> 00:35:03,684 Larry, could I have a word with you, please? 896 00:35:03,685 --> 00:35:06,101 If it isn't Big Murray. Hey. You know what, Big Murray? 897 00:35:06,102 --> 00:35:09,143 'Cause of you, I couldn't wear my favorite gray corduroys, 898 00:35:09,144 --> 00:35:11,518 and now I'm wearing pants that are way too big for me. 899 00:35:11,519 --> 00:35:14,934 That's what I wanted to talk to you about... that scene in the kitchen. 900 00:35:14,935 --> 00:35:16,185 Funny, huh? 901 00:35:16,186 --> 00:35:18,310 Well, it was a little insulting to me. 902 00:35:18,311 --> 00:35:21,101 Why? Nobody knows you're the one who outfit tracked me. 903 00:35:21,102 --> 00:35:23,310 Oh, you make me very uncomfortable. 904 00:35:23,311 --> 00:35:26,101 - You know, you're judging me. - I wasn't judging you. 905 00:35:26,102 --> 00:35:28,435 It felt like it was a thin disguise for insulting me. 906 00:35:28,436 --> 00:35:31,435 No. I would insult you right to your face, Big Murray. 907 00:35:31,436 --> 00:35:33,934 That's what I would think, that you should insult me to my face, 908 00:35:33,935 --> 00:35:36,435 but the problem is, now I feel like 909 00:35:36,436 --> 00:35:38,560 I'm being tracked because of what you did. 910 00:35:38,561 --> 00:35:41,101 I can't get up in the morning anymore without thinking, 911 00:35:41,102 --> 00:35:44,310 "Oh, gotta be careful. Big Larry's watching you." 912 00:35:44,311 --> 00:35:46,809 Big Larry is not tracking Big Murray. 913 00:35:46,810 --> 00:35:48,934 Big Larry is tracking Big Murray. 914 00:35:48,935 --> 00:35:52,435 Big Larry has better things to do than track Big Murray. 915 00:35:52,436 --> 00:35:53,893 Then why are you writing it all down? 916 00:35:53,894 --> 00:35:55,602 Hey, Larry, can I talk to you a second? 917 00:35:55,603 --> 00:35:57,226 - Excuse me, Murray. I'm sorry. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 918 00:35:57,227 --> 00:35:59,101 Be careful what you say around this guy, huh? 919 00:35:59,102 --> 00:36:00,976 He's a Murray tracker! 920 00:36:00,977 --> 00:36:03,310 There's your outfit tracker, right there. 921 00:36:03,311 --> 00:36:05,934 Hey, what's this I hear about you asking Cody Gutcher for his money back? 922 00:36:05,935 --> 00:36:08,226 Yeah, I asked Cody Gutcher for my money back, yeah. 923 00:36:08,227 --> 00:36:10,602 But not all of it. Just the money he owed me. 924 00:36:10,603 --> 00:36:13,643 Cody Gutcher is one of the best company managers in the fuckin' country! 925 00:36:13,644 --> 00:36:15,684 We almost lost him to "Spring Awakening," and we have him! 926 00:36:15,685 --> 00:36:17,768 I don't give a shit if Cody Gutcher goes to "Spring Awakening!" 927 00:36:17,769 --> 00:36:20,060 I'm nice enough to give him $1,200, 928 00:36:20,061 --> 00:36:22,185 and he steals 450 of it! 929 00:36:22,186 --> 00:36:25,143 You're nice enough to do the gesture. Finish the gesture. 930 00:36:25,144 --> 00:36:27,726 I did finish the gesture, then I was expecting a gesture from him! 931 00:36:27,727 --> 00:36:29,976 No. "Here's a gesture. Where's my gesture back, motherfucker?!" 932 00:36:29,977 --> 00:36:31,393 That's your version of a gesture? 933 00:36:31,394 --> 00:36:32,976 You got something off your chest. Are you happy? 934 00:36:32,977 --> 00:36:34,684 - Yeah. - I got something on my chest, okay? 935 00:36:34,685 --> 00:36:38,185 - Go for it. - Valentina Miranda and her husband Ernst, 936 00:36:38,186 --> 00:36:40,226 who I was generous enough to let stay in my house... 937 00:36:40,227 --> 00:36:42,393 Yeah, and I said, "Thank you." 938 00:36:42,394 --> 00:36:44,684 - They're swingers. - Yeah, I know. 939 00:36:44,685 --> 00:36:46,726 You know they're swingers, you don't tell me?! 940 00:36:46,727 --> 00:36:48,768 I told you they were an interesting couple. 941 00:36:48,769 --> 00:36:49,976 "Interesting" is not "swinging!" 942 00:36:49,977 --> 00:36:51,602 I was there when you met them. 943 00:36:51,603 --> 00:36:53,809 You said, "Make yourself at home. Stay as long as you want." 944 00:36:53,810 --> 00:36:56,643 - So they entertained. - Entertained?! That's playing mah-jongg! 945 00:36:56,644 --> 00:36:59,143 This was like a Roman orgy, like Caligula! 946 00:36:59,144 --> 00:37:00,425 You know what you do in someone else's house? 947 00:37:00,426 --> 00:37:01,226 What? 948 00:37:01,227 --> 00:37:02,560 You tiptoe. 949 00:37:02,561 --> 00:37:05,310 You say please, you say thank you, you clean up. 950 00:37:05,311 --> 00:37:06,893 "May I use your refrigerator?" 951 00:37:06,894 --> 00:37:09,934 Guests tiptoe! That's what you do! 952 00:37:09,935 --> 00:37:12,477 Oh, no, I wanna have fun at the fuckin' Larry David house. 953 00:37:12,478 --> 00:37:14,893 Tiptoe and play mah-jongg, that's your idea of fuckin' fun. 954 00:37:14,894 --> 00:37:16,643 You should've seen. They trashed the whole house! 955 00:37:16,644 --> 00:37:20,726 And you know what else? They broke my curtain remote! 956 00:37:20,727 --> 00:37:23,518 - What the fuck's a curtain remote? - A curtain remote? 957 00:37:23,519 --> 00:37:26,893 It opens and closes, opens and closes the curtains! 958 00:37:26,894 --> 00:37:28,477 Who needs a curtain remote? 959 00:37:28,478 --> 00:37:30,393 You fuckin' do this! That's how you open a curtain! 960 00:37:30,394 --> 00:37:31,893 You've obviously never used a curtain remote. 961 00:37:31,894 --> 00:37:33,768 Who would need one? It's a curtain! 962 00:37:33,769 --> 00:37:35,518 It's a good thing! It's a fun thing! 963 00:37:35,519 --> 00:37:37,893 If you ever did it, you wouldn't even think about it! 964 00:37:37,894 --> 00:37:39,226 Well, I'm never coming to your house, 965 00:37:39,227 --> 00:37:40,560 'cause I don't want to tiptoe around 966 00:37:40,561 --> 00:37:42,477 and maybe get refrigerator privileges! 967 00:37:42,478 --> 00:37:44,477 You gesture-rescinding motherfucker! 968 00:37:44,478 --> 00:37:47,268 That's right. That's right. 969 00:37:47,269 --> 00:37:50,560 At least I don't have cousins who are sex degenerates! 970 00:37:52,436 --> 00:37:54,143 - What'd you say about my family? - You Mirandas! 971 00:37:54,144 --> 00:37:56,018 You don't give proper "thank yous," 972 00:37:56,019 --> 00:37:57,893 you don't give proper "sorrys," 973 00:37:57,894 --> 00:37:59,768 and you're a bunch of sex perverts! 974 00:37:59,769 --> 00:38:02,477 Oh! 975 00:38:02,478 --> 00:38:04,435 You've besmirched the honor of my family, 976 00:38:04,436 --> 00:38:06,144 and I demand satisfaction. 977 00:38:07,603 --> 00:38:11,101 Satisfaction... you shall have. 978 00:38:14,810 --> 00:38:17,268 It's a duel. 979 00:38:17,269 --> 00:38:19,893 These proceedings shall fall under the auspices 980 00:38:19,894 --> 00:38:23,477 of the Code Duello... Irish version. 981 00:38:23,478 --> 00:38:26,268 I'm given to understand that one of the gentlemen 982 00:38:26,269 --> 00:38:28,976 has perceived a slight and demands satisfaction. 983 00:38:28,977 --> 00:38:30,602 That's correct. 984 00:38:30,603 --> 00:38:33,226 This is your final chance to offer an apology, 985 00:38:33,227 --> 00:38:34,851 thereby saving face. 986 00:38:34,852 --> 00:38:36,684 No apology is forthcoming. 987 00:38:36,685 --> 00:38:38,976 Very well. We shall proceed. 988 00:38:38,977 --> 00:38:40,519 Gentlemen, choose your weapon. 989 00:38:45,269 --> 00:38:49,851 Will anyone present stand as the second to the offended party? 990 00:38:49,852 --> 00:38:51,143 I will. 991 00:38:51,144 --> 00:38:52,643 Will anyone present stand forth 992 00:38:52,644 --> 00:38:54,684 as the second to the transgressor? 993 00:38:54,685 --> 00:38:57,101 I will. 994 00:38:57,102 --> 00:38:59,268 Swell. 995 00:38:59,269 --> 00:39:01,809 If the principals would please hand their weapons 996 00:39:01,810 --> 00:39:03,185 to their seconds 997 00:39:03,186 --> 00:39:06,310 to be inspected and loaded with one projectile. 998 00:39:06,311 --> 00:39:08,643 - I don't know how to do this. - What? 999 00:39:08,644 --> 00:39:11,018 Why'd you volunteer for second if you don't know what you're doing? 1000 00:39:11,019 --> 00:39:13,643 I'm from Newport Beach. I've never loaded a gun before. 1001 00:39:13,644 --> 00:39:15,310 Give me the paintball. 1002 00:39:15,311 --> 00:39:17,768 - That's it. There's nothing to it. - Sorry. 1003 00:39:17,769 --> 00:39:20,685 Very well. Please stand back-to-back. 1004 00:39:25,186 --> 00:39:27,101 Gentlemen, on my count, 1005 00:39:27,102 --> 00:39:30,185 you will proceed to walk ten paces, 1006 00:39:30,186 --> 00:39:31,768 at which point you will turn, 1007 00:39:31,769 --> 00:39:34,519 aim your weapons, and fire. 1008 00:39:37,019 --> 00:39:40,018 And ten, nine... 1009 00:39:45,519 --> 00:39:49,019 ...eight, seven... 1010 00:39:52,269 --> 00:39:55,018 ...six, five, 1011 00:39:55,019 --> 00:39:58,226 four, three, 1012 00:39:58,227 --> 00:40:00,560 two, one! 1013 00:40:02,727 --> 00:40:05,934 - Lin! - Oh, my God! It's in his mouth! 1014 00:40:05,935 --> 00:40:08,893 - Come on, Larry. - It was... it was an accident! 1015 00:40:08,894 --> 00:40:10,643 I was gonna fire in the air! 1016 00:40:10,644 --> 00:40:13,352 Aaron Burr! 1017 00:40:13,353 --> 00:40:16,018 - Aaron Burr! - I'm not Aaron Burr! 1018 00:40:16,019 --> 00:40:17,894 - No, no, no! - Lin! 1019 00:40:26,311 --> 00:40:28,602 Where the fuck is he? He says he was gonna be here! 1020 00:40:28,603 --> 00:40:30,643 - I don't know. - I'm gonna fucking kill him. 1021 00:40:30,644 --> 00:40:33,851 Family, friends, and loved ones, 1022 00:40:33,852 --> 00:40:35,934 we are gathered here today to celebrate 1023 00:40:35,935 --> 00:40:38,477 one of life's greatest moments... 1024 00:40:38,478 --> 00:40:42,893 the joining of two lives in this union we call marriage. 1025 00:40:42,894 --> 00:40:45,602 Victor and Sammi have asked you today 1026 00:40:45,603 --> 00:40:47,101 to be here to bear witness 1027 00:40:47,102 --> 00:40:48,893 and to offer your love and support 1028 00:40:48,894 --> 00:40:52,435 as they embark on this next chapter of their lives. 1029 00:40:52,436 --> 00:40:56,185 Victor, we would be remiss if we didn't thank you for your service. 1030 00:40:56,186 --> 00:41:01,018 Now, please take each other's hands for your vows. 1031 00:41:01,019 --> 00:41:04,184 Victor, do you take Sammi to be your wife? 1032 00:41:04,185 --> 00:41:05,185 I do. 1033 00:41:05,186 --> 00:41:07,143 Do you commit yourself to her happiness 1034 00:41:07,144 --> 00:41:09,894 and self-fulfillment as a person? 1035 00:41:11,269 --> 00:41:13,352 I... I do. I do. 1036 00:41:13,353 --> 00:41:16,934 - Do you promise to love... - All right, enough, enough. Excuse me, miss. 1037 00:41:16,935 --> 00:41:18,518 - Out. You gotta go. - What? What? 1038 00:41:18,519 --> 00:41:19,809 Get the hell outta here. 1039 00:41:19,810 --> 00:41:21,602 - And cover up! - What? 1040 00:41:21,603 --> 00:41:23,018 Sorry, everybody. 1041 00:41:23,019 --> 00:41:25,435 It had to be done. We'll just continue. 1042 00:41:25,436 --> 00:41:28,101 C-Continue. Continue. 1043 00:41:30,144 --> 00:41:32,143 I'm not Burr. I'm not Burr. 1044 00:41:32,144 --> 00:41:33,560 I was gonna fire in the air! 1045 00:41:33,561 --> 00:41:34,893 You shot right at me, Larry. 1046 00:41:34,894 --> 00:41:36,268 No, it's Murray's fault, 1047 00:41:36,269 --> 00:41:37,768 because he was outfit tracking me 1048 00:41:37,769 --> 00:41:39,268 and I had to put on a different pair of pants, 1049 00:41:39,269 --> 00:41:40,809 and they were too big for me and they fell. 1050 00:41:40,810 --> 00:41:42,934 Anyway, I'm so sorry. 1051 00:41:42,935 --> 00:41:45,185 I'm really, really sorry. 1052 00:41:45,186 --> 00:41:48,310 Really... truly sorry. 1053 00:41:48,311 --> 00:41:50,477 - That's a pretty good apology. - Really? 1054 00:41:50,478 --> 00:41:53,310 - It's commensurate with the offense. - Yes? 1055 00:41:53,311 --> 00:41:56,518 Do you wanna apologize for falling asleep during "Hamilton"? 1056 00:41:56,519 --> 00:41:57,243 Oh! 1057 00:41:57,244 --> 00:41:59,643 My wife told me you were practically on her shoulder. 1058 00:41:59,644 --> 00:42:01,226 Okay, what happened was, 1059 00:42:01,227 --> 00:42:03,851 I had a pain pill in my pocket that Jeff gave me, 1060 00:42:03,852 --> 00:42:06,435 because I injured my shoulder wrestling with you. 1061 00:42:06,436 --> 00:42:08,101 So in a way, you're a little... 1062 00:42:08,102 --> 00:42:09,934 I'm at fault for you sleeping through my show? 1063 00:42:09,935 --> 00:42:11,352 I did see part of the show. 1064 00:42:11,353 --> 00:42:13,602 I have to say, I loved it. It was terrific. 1065 00:42:13,603 --> 00:42:16,060 - Thank you. - ♪ My name is Alexander Hamilton... ♪ 1066 00:42:16,061 --> 00:42:17,726 I didn't see the end of the first act. 1067 00:42:17,727 --> 00:42:19,226 ♪ And there's a million things I haven't... ♪ 1068 00:42:19,227 --> 00:42:20,518 - That's the very first song. - Yeah. 1069 00:42:20,519 --> 00:42:22,018 - I'm gonna go back. - Okay. 1070 00:42:22,019 --> 00:42:23,643 Any chance you could, uh... 1071 00:42:23,644 --> 00:42:25,851 I have to see what they say, if they have tickets. 1072 00:42:25,852 --> 00:42:29,060 - Two tickets. What's the... - I don't run the ticket office, Larry David. 1073 00:42:29,061 --> 00:42:31,518 Make a phone call. What do you mean? You wrote the show. 1074 00:42:31,519 --> 00:42:33,185 Oh, my God. 1075 00:42:33,186 --> 00:42:34,976 Hey, hey, you're spitting on me! 1076 00:42:34,977 --> 00:42:37,560 - Cover your mouth when you cough. - Man, fuck you. 1077 00:42:37,561 --> 00:42:39,518 Oh, my God. 1078 00:42:39,519 --> 00:42:42,185 I gotta get to Jeff's daughter's wedding! 1079 00:42:42,186 --> 00:42:43,560 - I'm late! - What? 1080 00:42:43,561 --> 00:42:45,310 Yes, yeah, I'm speaking there! Hey! 1081 00:42:45,311 --> 00:42:47,060 - Driver. - Hey, what the... 1082 00:42:47,061 --> 00:42:50,477 Can we make a quick stop? It's just at that light. 1083 00:42:50,478 --> 00:42:51,934 It's about a half a mile and you go up the hill. 1084 00:42:51,935 --> 00:42:53,934 And you can drop me off. It's two minutes. 1085 00:42:53,935 --> 00:42:55,768 No. This is not no fuckin' Uber. 1086 00:42:55,769 --> 00:42:58,226 We gotta get this man to the hospital. He's injured. 1087 00:42:58,227 --> 00:43:00,893 It's gonna be a lot worse for me. You don't know this woman. 1088 00:43:00,894 --> 00:43:04,226 Fuck that woman! And fuck her wedding. Get in the back. 1089 00:43:04,227 --> 00:43:05,726 - Okay. - Fuck! 1090 00:43:05,727 --> 00:43:07,643 Somebody strap him in! 1091 00:43:10,977 --> 00:43:14,185 Oh, yeah. Wait a second. 1092 00:43:14,186 --> 00:43:16,185 Wait a second, Charlie. 1093 00:43:16,186 --> 00:43:17,851 Who are you calling, Larry? 1094 00:43:17,852 --> 00:43:19,477 This woman I met in a bar. 1095 00:43:19,478 --> 00:43:22,602 You're trying to get laid on the way to the hospital? 1096 00:43:22,603 --> 00:43:25,310 Hey, Marie. It's Larry David. 1097 00:43:25,311 --> 00:43:26,851 Remember, I met you in the bar 1098 00:43:26,852 --> 00:43:29,518 and you came and sat at the table with us? 1099 00:43:29,519 --> 00:43:31,768 Hey, I got a job for you. 1100 00:43:41,436 --> 00:43:44,684 Jeffrey, where's Larry? He's still not here? 1101 00:43:44,685 --> 00:43:46,893 - I don't know. - But we have to start the speeches. 1102 00:43:46,894 --> 00:43:47,934 Well, start the speeches! 1103 00:43:47,935 --> 00:43:49,768 Get the fuck outta my face! 1104 00:43:49,769 --> 00:43:52,101 Go away! Do the... the patrons. 1105 00:43:52,102 --> 00:43:55,268 - What are you doing? - Go do your job somewhere. Go! 1106 00:43:55,269 --> 00:43:57,101 Jeff, can you call him again? 1107 00:43:57,102 --> 00:43:59,185 I'm not trying him again. I called him, he didn't answer. 1108 00:43:59,186 --> 00:44:01,477 I'm here. Hi. Sorry I'm late. 1109 00:44:01,478 --> 00:44:03,060 Oh, I'm Marie from the restaurant. 1110 00:44:03,061 --> 00:44:05,310 - Oh, yeah, yeah. - What are you doing here? 1111 00:44:05,311 --> 00:44:07,101 Hi. Larry couldn't be here... 1112 00:44:07,102 --> 00:44:09,352 ...but he asked me to stand in. 1113 00:44:09,353 --> 00:44:12,143 And don't worry, I have his speech. 1114 00:44:17,311 --> 00:44:19,768 "Hi. I'm Larry David." 1115 00:44:19,769 --> 00:44:21,018 Oh, no. 1116 00:44:21,019 --> 00:44:24,018 Her name's Marie. Larry rents her. 1117 00:44:24,019 --> 00:44:27,435 "And I just want to say how thrilled I am to be here today, 1118 00:44:27,436 --> 00:44:29,684 and I am especially honored to have been asked 1119 00:44:29,685 --> 00:44:32,976 to speak at this blessed event. 1120 00:44:32,977 --> 00:44:36,143 I have known Sammi... 1121 00:44:36,144 --> 00:44:39,310 for her entire life, and frankly, I don't even think she likes me very much. 1122 00:44:39,311 --> 00:44:42,851 But I'm pretty sure I feel that way about everybody. 1123 00:44:42,852 --> 00:44:45,684 Sammi, I wish I had advice to offer you 1124 00:44:45,685 --> 00:44:48,143 on how to have a successful marriage, 1125 00:44:48,144 --> 00:44:50,684 but I'll just offer you two words: 1126 00:44:50,685 --> 00:44:52,518 - separate bathrooms. - Separate bathrooms. 1127 00:44:52,519 --> 00:44:54,518 Okay, that's fine. Thank you very much. 1128 00:44:54,519 --> 00:44:58,018 - So, Sammi and, what's your name again, sir? - Thank you very much. 1129 00:44:58,019 --> 00:44:59,352 - Victor. - Oh, Victor! 1130 00:44:59,353 --> 00:45:01,560 You need to be going right now. Thank you. 1131 00:45:01,561 --> 00:45:04,310 - I'm sorry, everyone... - Susie, can I, for my reel, get a copy of that? 1132 00:45:04,311 --> 00:45:05,352 Yeah, good-bye. 1133 00:45:05,353 --> 00:45:07,435 Enjoy... uh, enjoy 1134 00:45:07,436 --> 00:45:10,019 the rest of the... party. 1135 00:45:16,727 --> 00:45:19,435 I talked to Lin's doctors. 1136 00:45:19,436 --> 00:45:22,143 They said he'll be fine in about six months. 1137 00:45:22,144 --> 00:45:24,851 But he's moving on to other projects. 1138 00:45:24,852 --> 00:45:27,851 He's done. "Fatwa!" is over. 1139 00:45:27,852 --> 00:45:30,018 Our investments are gone. 1140 00:45:30,019 --> 00:45:32,560 Lewis lost money, Danson lost money. 1141 00:45:32,561 --> 00:45:34,726 I lost a ton, okay? 1142 00:45:34,727 --> 00:45:37,684 I told all these ladies I was a big-time Broadway producer. 1143 00:45:37,685 --> 00:45:39,602 Now I ain't shit. 1144 00:45:39,603 --> 00:45:41,143 So how much did we lose, Jeffrey? 1145 00:45:41,144 --> 00:45:43,310 We lost a lot of money. 1146 00:45:43,311 --> 00:45:45,226 We're... we're gonna have to sell the house. 1147 00:45:45,227 --> 00:45:48,394 We are not selling that fuckin' house. 1148 00:45:50,685 --> 00:45:53,394 Didn't you wear that sweater yesterday? 1149 00:45:55,852 --> 00:45:57,602 What did you say? 1150 00:45:57,603 --> 00:45:59,684 What the fuck did you just say? 1151 00:45:59,685 --> 00:46:01,268 Well, don't get so excited. It was... 1152 00:46:01,269 --> 00:46:02,893 Yeah, I wore this sweater yesterday. 1153 00:46:02,894 --> 00:46:05,310 So what? What, are you outfit tracking me? 1154 00:46:05,311 --> 00:46:08,310 I'm not outfit tracking you. I asked you a simple question. 1155 00:46:08,311 --> 00:46:10,602 Sure sounds like you're outfit tracking. So what? 1156 00:46:10,603 --> 00:46:13,643 I didn't work out in it. I wasn't on the subway. I didn't go in public toilets. 1157 00:46:13,644 --> 00:46:15,768 The sweater's clean. You can wear a sweater two days in a row. 1158 00:46:15,769 --> 00:46:17,726 It's not a shirt. I don't wear a shirt two days in a row. 1159 00:46:17,727 --> 00:46:20,101 - It's just a sweater. - What are you, a fuckin' lunatic? 1160 00:46:20,102 --> 00:46:21,934 You're an outfit tracker and I don't like it! 1161 00:46:21,935 --> 00:46:24,060 You can wear the same sweater two days in a... oh! 1162 00:46:24,061 --> 00:46:26,477 Here's your fruit salad and your veggie burger. 1163 00:46:26,478 --> 00:46:30,226 Oh, veggie burger. Beautiful, beautiful. Thank you. 1164 00:46:30,227 --> 00:46:32,602 Hello? 1165 00:46:32,603 --> 00:46:33,768 Where's my food? 1166 00:46:33,769 --> 00:46:36,726 Aw. We'll start. 1167 00:46:36,727 --> 00:46:38,893 Mmm. This is fantastic! 1168 00:46:38,894 --> 00:46:40,602 Mmm! 1169 00:46:40,603 --> 00:46:41,478 Great! 1170 00:46:45,353 --> 00:46:49,477 ♪ For a spoonful of sugar ♪ 1171 00:46:49,478 --> 00:46:52,226 ♪ Helps the medicine go down ♪ 1172 00:46:52,227 --> 00:46:54,352 ♪ The medicine go down ♪ 1173 00:46:54,353 --> 00:46:55,934 ♪ The medicine go down ♪ 1174 00:46:55,935 --> 00:46:59,310 - ♪ For a spoonful of sugar... ♪ - Hey! Hey! 1175 00:46:59,311 --> 00:47:01,477 I know who you are. 1176 00:47:01,478 --> 00:47:05,186 Yeah. You're Larry David. 1177 00:47:06,478 --> 00:47:09,602 No, no, no... 1178 00:47:09,603 --> 00:47:11,352 The fatwa's... the fatwa's over! 1179 00:47:11,353 --> 00:47:13,060 - They called the fatwa off! - I don't believe you! 1180 00:47:13,061 --> 00:47:15,143 You're a liar! You're a blasphemer! 1181 00:47:15,144 --> 00:47:17,310 No! No! Didn't they tell you? 1182 00:47:17,311 --> 00:47:19,851 No! No, it's true! They called it off! 1183 00:47:19,852 --> 00:47:21,310 No! No! 1184 00:47:21,311 --> 00:47:23,352 - They... they called it off! - Stop! Stop! 1185 00:47:23,353 --> 00:47:24,352 No! No! 1186 00:47:24,353 --> 00:47:27,185 Larry David, I am gonna kill you! 1187 00:47:27,186 --> 00:47:28,435 It's over!