1 00:00:07,496 --> 00:00:09,995 Salman Rushdie told me to live my life. 2 00:00:09,996 --> 00:00:14,537 And, you know, I'm not thinking about it as much as I used to, 3 00:00:14,538 --> 00:00:16,287 and so far, so good. 4 00:00:16,288 --> 00:00:17,704 That's great. 5 00:00:17,705 --> 00:00:19,328 Oh, I know what I wanted to talk to you about. 6 00:00:19,329 --> 00:00:21,161 I'm having this dream. 7 00:00:21,162 --> 00:00:23,328 - Right. - I've had it, like, three times. 8 00:00:23,329 --> 00:00:26,995 I'm in this room and there's all these virgins... 9 00:00:26,996 --> 00:00:29,120 beautiful virgins, my God... 10 00:00:29,121 --> 00:00:32,662 - and they all wanna have sex with me. - Wow. 11 00:00:32,663 --> 00:00:34,579 And I count... I keep counting them up, 12 00:00:34,580 --> 00:00:36,995 and I can only count 71. 13 00:00:36,996 --> 00:00:39,579 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6... I'm counting with my head... 14 00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:41,620 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12... 15 00:00:41,621 --> 00:00:44,078 Sometimes I'll start over... one, two, three, four... 16 00:00:44,079 --> 00:00:46,203 Right, the head count. 17 00:00:46,204 --> 00:00:48,453 Are you expecting more or less? 18 00:00:48,454 --> 00:00:49,953 I'm expecting 72. 19 00:00:49,954 --> 00:00:51,745 What if you just miscounted? 20 00:00:51,746 --> 00:00:53,412 That's a possibility. 21 00:00:53,413 --> 00:00:55,328 So, were you tempted to have sex with them? 22 00:00:55,329 --> 00:00:57,370 Well, I wanted to, but I was too concerned 23 00:00:57,371 --> 00:00:58,911 with the missing 72nd. 24 00:00:58,912 --> 00:01:02,161 - That was the issue. - What's interesting to me 25 00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:07,120 is that I find you're focused on the number of women 26 00:01:07,121 --> 00:01:11,370 who apparently are very interested in you, and yet... 27 00:01:11,371 --> 00:01:14,453 Larry, you seem preoccupied. 28 00:01:14,454 --> 00:01:17,911 I'm just wondering... 29 00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:21,579 have you ever noticed the disparity in these two chairs? 30 00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:26,245 Your chair is so much better than this one. 31 00:01:26,246 --> 00:01:28,245 This is not a comfortable chair at all. 32 00:01:28,246 --> 00:01:30,161 Did... did you buy these chairs? 33 00:01:30,162 --> 00:01:32,745 Yes, I... I bought both of them. 34 00:01:32,746 --> 00:01:34,537 - You picked out both of them? - I picked them out, yeah. 35 00:01:34,538 --> 00:01:36,662 What was going through your head when you picked out this chair? 36 00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:38,245 You picked out a great chair for yourself. 37 00:01:38,246 --> 00:01:39,370 That's a gorgeous chair. 38 00:01:39,371 --> 00:01:40,745 I would have that in my house. 39 00:01:40,746 --> 00:01:42,370 But this one, it's not comfortable. 40 00:01:42,371 --> 00:01:44,370 I'm constantly shifting from side to side. 41 00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:46,370 You have the comfortable chair. 42 00:01:46,371 --> 00:01:48,287 You have taken the good chair. 43 00:01:48,288 --> 00:01:52,620 It's interesting... you are the first and only patient 44 00:01:52,621 --> 00:01:54,995 who has ever said anything negative about that chair. 45 00:01:54,996 --> 00:01:57,078 I don't find that interesting at all. 46 00:01:57,079 --> 00:02:00,078 Well, I do, and that's my job... to find things interesting. 47 00:02:00,079 --> 00:02:02,579 - Well... - Interesting with the chair. 48 00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:03,894 I don't know what you're writing over there. 49 00:02:03,895 --> 00:02:05,495 Chair issues. 50 00:02:05,496 --> 00:02:06,953 I think there's something deeper. 51 00:02:06,954 --> 00:02:08,161 I don't think you're writing anything. 52 00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:09,787 - No, I could show you. - Huh? 53 00:02:09,788 --> 00:02:11,911 - I could show you. - I mean, you're a nice man, 54 00:02:11,912 --> 00:02:14,203 but, you know, do you... do you do that much? 55 00:02:14,204 --> 00:02:17,203 - Between you and me? - Don't you think that I do 56 00:02:17,204 --> 00:02:19,078 a significant amount of help to you? 57 00:02:19,079 --> 00:02:21,745 - Eh, no. - Really? 58 00:02:21,746 --> 00:02:22,995 May I be honest with you? 59 00:02:22,996 --> 00:02:26,161 I hope that you can always be honest with me. 60 00:02:26,162 --> 00:02:28,495 Well, I'm often never honest with you, 61 00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:30,328 but here's what I'm proposing. 62 00:02:30,329 --> 00:02:31,829 I think you should go chair shopping. 63 00:02:31,830 --> 00:02:33,704 I think you need another chair. 64 00:02:33,705 --> 00:02:36,203 And you know what else? I'm willing to go chair shopping with you. 65 00:02:36,204 --> 00:02:37,678 Will you think about it? 66 00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:41,579 I don't know, but I do know that the session is over, 67 00:02:41,580 --> 00:02:43,704 and so we'll have to pick this up next time. 68 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:46,203 It's tough for you to have to look at that watch, isn't it? 69 00:02:46,204 --> 00:02:48,704 It must be a little awkward. You know I see it. 70 00:02:48,705 --> 00:02:50,787 I know you see it. I'm not trying to sneak it. 71 00:02:50,788 --> 00:02:53,120 You can't... you're trying to do a little sneaky watch peek. 72 00:02:53,121 --> 00:02:54,537 I'm not trying to do a sneaky watch peek, 73 00:02:54,538 --> 00:02:56,662 I'm trying to be efficient with our time. 74 00:02:56,663 --> 00:02:59,078 Why don't you put a clock behind me 75 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:01,829 so you can have a clock, you know, when the time's up? 76 00:03:01,830 --> 00:03:05,370 - But, okay. - Nevertheless, it is... it is over, 77 00:03:05,371 --> 00:03:08,870 and I'm looking forward to seeing you again next week. 78 00:03:08,871 --> 00:03:11,287 So, uh, you got big plans for the weekend? 79 00:03:11,288 --> 00:03:14,078 This weekend and all through next week 80 00:03:14,079 --> 00:03:17,704 my wife and I go out every single night to a different restaurant 81 00:03:17,705 --> 00:03:19,579 because it's truffle season. 82 00:03:19,580 --> 00:03:22,662 - It's wonderful. Do you like truffles? - No, I loathe them. 83 00:03:22,663 --> 00:03:25,745 They're disgusting. Oh, to each his own. 84 00:03:25,746 --> 00:03:27,245 - To each his own. - Yeah. 85 00:03:27,246 --> 00:03:28,995 Okay. Thank you, Larry. 86 00:03:28,996 --> 00:03:31,870 Okay. And, by the way, any time you wanna get rid of me as a patient, 87 00:03:31,871 --> 00:03:33,620 just say, "I've had enough." 88 00:03:33,621 --> 00:03:36,036 It'll be... it'll be okay with me. 89 00:03:36,037 --> 00:03:38,496 Oh, dear God. 90 00:03:56,204 --> 00:03:58,203 Oh, dear. 91 00:03:58,204 --> 00:03:59,787 Oh, dear. 92 00:03:59,788 --> 00:04:02,787 Hey! How about this? 93 00:04:02,788 --> 00:04:04,537 I don't even know how to react. 94 00:04:04,538 --> 00:04:06,161 It's unbelievable. 95 00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:09,120 So, uh, over at the table over there, 96 00:04:09,121 --> 00:04:11,370 the young lady in the red dress? 97 00:04:11,371 --> 00:04:13,036 Yeah, yeah, I saw her earlier. 98 00:04:13,037 --> 00:04:16,787 She is a big-time real estate agent. 99 00:04:16,788 --> 00:04:17,995 - Yeah? - Okay, yes. 100 00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:19,328 You looking for a house? 101 00:04:19,329 --> 00:04:21,620 Well, I'm gonna go out looking for houses, 102 00:04:21,621 --> 00:04:24,453 but I'm not looking for a house. 103 00:04:24,454 --> 00:04:25,995 Wow. 104 00:04:25,996 --> 00:04:28,537 What a diabolical plan this is. 105 00:04:28,538 --> 00:04:30,995 It's a date, but they don't know it's a date. 106 00:04:30,996 --> 00:04:32,745 - Yes! - And if I want another date, 107 00:04:32,746 --> 00:04:35,203 I just go, "You know what? This house doesn't appeal to me. 108 00:04:35,204 --> 00:04:37,161 Tomorrow, are you good to see another house?" 109 00:04:37,162 --> 00:04:39,078 - Doesn't cost you a nickel. - Nope. Nope. 110 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:41,495 She's excited to be with me. She wants to please me. 111 00:04:41,496 --> 00:04:42,953 - She wants to please you. - Yeah. 112 00:04:42,954 --> 00:04:44,745 - Oh, hey. Look at this. - Thank you. I appreciate it. 113 00:04:44,746 --> 00:04:46,245 - Thank you very much. - Oh, ho, ho! 114 00:04:46,246 --> 00:04:48,036 They love me! They're loving it! 115 00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:50,036 - Ah! - Thank you very much. 116 00:04:50,037 --> 00:04:52,953 - Congratulations. - You don't have to buy any of them. 117 00:04:52,954 --> 00:04:54,620 - You know... - Well, I wasn't gonna buy any, 118 00:04:54,621 --> 00:04:56,537 but, still, I can congratulate you. 119 00:04:56,538 --> 00:04:58,120 Are you vying for the title 120 00:04:58,121 --> 00:04:59,953 of the most pretentious man in the world? 121 00:04:59,954 --> 00:05:00,995 - What, this? - Yes. 122 00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:02,370 I've had this for decades. 123 00:05:02,371 --> 00:05:05,287 It looks like the Little Drummer Boy's funeral. 124 00:05:05,288 --> 00:05:08,120 - This is what he's wearing in the casket. - Mm-hmm, that's very funny. 125 00:05:08,121 --> 00:05:09,953 I never showed you my paintings at home 126 00:05:09,954 --> 00:05:13,328 because I knew you would, you know, just mock me and destroy me, so... 127 00:05:13,329 --> 00:05:14,787 - a big night for me. - Anyway, congratulations. 128 00:05:14,788 --> 00:05:16,620 - Congratulations. - This is quite a display here. 129 00:05:16,621 --> 00:05:18,620 - Do you understand any of it? - No. 130 00:05:18,621 --> 00:05:20,287 No, it's very confusing. 131 00:05:20,288 --> 00:05:21,787 - You don't under... - I don't think you do either. 132 00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:24,161 Let me show you one, a painting I just sold. 133 00:05:24,162 --> 00:05:25,361 I'm very excited. 134 00:05:25,362 --> 00:05:27,245 Then maybe you could explain the mystery of that one. 135 00:05:27,246 --> 00:05:28,911 I will. This is one of my favorites. 136 00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:31,495 Yeah, so I sold this to a restaurant, 137 00:05:31,496 --> 00:05:32,995 and I'm really proud of it. 138 00:05:32,996 --> 00:05:36,203 - Who is that? - It's a self-portrait. 139 00:05:36,204 --> 00:05:38,120 That's you? 140 00:05:38,121 --> 00:05:40,662 What do you think a self portrait means? Yeah, that's me. 141 00:05:40,663 --> 00:05:43,161 That's like you from 50 years ago! 142 00:05:43,162 --> 00:05:45,370 - No, this is me now. - What? 143 00:05:45,371 --> 00:05:47,370 You honestly feel you look like that? 144 00:05:47,371 --> 00:05:49,328 100%. 145 00:05:49,329 --> 00:05:50,745 You know what? 146 00:05:50,746 --> 00:05:53,328 I think I want a portrait by Richard Lewis. 147 00:05:53,329 --> 00:05:55,328 Yeah, well, look, he's gonna make you look great. 148 00:05:55,329 --> 00:05:56,870 Maybe you could paint me with hair. 149 00:06:04,954 --> 00:06:06,495 - Hey. - Hey! 150 00:06:06,496 --> 00:06:09,537 Did you hear about Marty Funkhouser's nephew, Kenny? 151 00:06:09,538 --> 00:06:10,662 - Yeah. - He died. 152 00:06:10,663 --> 00:06:12,370 - Unbelievable. - It's so sad. 153 00:06:12,371 --> 00:06:13,079 I know. 154 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:14,579 He was supposed to be going to Stanford. 155 00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:16,620 - Yeah. - You heard what happened, right? 156 00:06:16,621 --> 00:06:18,704 - He got mixed up with a prostitute. - Prostitute, right. 157 00:06:18,705 --> 00:06:20,704 - Mm-hmm. - Followed her to Europe. 158 00:06:20,705 --> 00:06:21,404 Yeah. 159 00:06:21,405 --> 00:06:23,995 Ended up going to Pamplona to run with the bulls. 160 00:06:23,996 --> 00:06:26,537 - And got trampled. - I know. 161 00:06:26,538 --> 00:06:28,495 How does a young boy get involved with a prostitute? 162 00:06:28,496 --> 00:06:30,203 Well, I can only surmise 163 00:06:30,204 --> 00:06:33,579 that he was in need of a prostitute for some reason, 164 00:06:33,580 --> 00:06:35,379 he met with the prostitute, 165 00:06:35,380 --> 00:06:37,704 ..and he was in love with her and followed her over there. 166 00:06:37,705 --> 00:06:40,911 - How do you know these details? - I'm just putting two and two together. 167 00:06:40,912 --> 00:06:42,611 Where's the two and two? 168 00:06:42,612 --> 00:06:44,537 Well, two and two... you got a high school senior, 169 00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:46,953 he has an experience with a prostitute, 170 00:06:46,954 --> 00:06:51,036 and then is so enamored, that he... he follows her all the way to Spain. 171 00:06:51,037 --> 00:06:52,911 Again, very detailed. 172 00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,870 No, I'm just putting two and two together, that's all. 173 00:06:54,871 --> 00:06:56,245 Again, I don't see the two and two. 174 00:06:56,246 --> 00:06:58,537 Oh, there's two and there's another two. 175 00:06:58,538 --> 00:07:00,704 - It's one and one together. - It doesn't really add up. 176 00:07:00,705 --> 00:07:03,078 - Honestly. It's too much. - It's shocking. 177 00:07:03,079 --> 00:07:05,745 - It's shocking. - He got trampled to death. 178 00:07:05,746 --> 00:07:07,245 Well, that's not so shocking. 179 00:07:07,246 --> 00:07:08,704 You're running with the bulls. 180 00:07:08,705 --> 00:07:10,453 It'd be shocking if he didn't die. 181 00:07:10,454 --> 00:07:12,745 - That's... that's the shock. - What? 182 00:07:12,746 --> 00:07:14,829 It's what men do. They want to impress girls, 183 00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:16,579 so they do crazy stuff like that. 184 00:07:16,580 --> 00:07:18,412 He wanted to impress the prostitute? 185 00:07:18,413 --> 00:07:20,995 Yeah, usually, you don't have to impress a prostitute. 186 00:07:20,996 --> 00:07:23,495 Well, remember... remember when we were dating 187 00:07:23,496 --> 00:07:25,495 and we went horseback riding, 188 00:07:25,496 --> 00:07:27,245 and I galloped and almost fell off? 189 00:07:27,246 --> 00:07:28,870 I was just trying to impress you. 190 00:07:28,871 --> 00:07:30,911 Yeah, but she's not a prostitute. 191 00:07:30,912 --> 00:07:32,953 - But I was having sex with her. - But you weren't paying her for it. 192 00:07:32,954 --> 00:07:35,328 - Okay. - Right, right. 193 00:07:35,329 --> 00:07:39,036 - Oh. - Marty, I am so sorry. 194 00:07:39,037 --> 00:07:41,620 - So sorry to hear about Kenny. - Thank you, thank you. 195 00:07:41,621 --> 00:07:43,495 Really sorry. 196 00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:45,911 It's the worst thing that's happened to me in my life. 197 00:07:45,912 --> 00:07:49,328 - I mean, he's like a son I never had. - Mm. 198 00:07:49,329 --> 00:07:52,120 Although, my daughter is transitioning. 199 00:07:52,121 --> 00:07:54,662 - Ah. How's that going? - So far, so good. 200 00:07:54,663 --> 00:07:57,120 You know, I saw her a couple of weeks ago. She looked pretty good. 201 00:07:57,121 --> 00:07:59,579 - Yeah, well, she's a he now, so. - Yeah, he. 202 00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,203 When... when does she get the penis? 203 00:08:01,204 --> 00:08:03,953 He's talking about it. It takes time to decide. 204 00:08:03,954 --> 00:08:06,662 Well, if he gets the penis, do they throw in the balls? 205 00:08:06,663 --> 00:08:09,870 Marty, I'm so sorry about Kenny. 206 00:08:09,871 --> 00:08:11,829 Is there anything we can do? 207 00:08:11,830 --> 00:08:13,704 I'd love you to come to the memorial. 208 00:08:13,705 --> 00:08:15,870 - Oh, we wouldn't miss it. - I appreciate it. 209 00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:18,829 Sorry, we have an early dinner to go to. 210 00:08:18,830 --> 00:08:21,078 Dinner? It's 3:30. 211 00:08:21,079 --> 00:08:23,911 - Dinner? - Hey, you better be at the memorial. 212 00:08:23,912 --> 00:08:25,288 Oh, one sec. 213 00:08:27,663 --> 00:08:31,453 Hey, Cheryl, um, let me ask you a question. 214 00:08:31,454 --> 00:08:33,662 When you're at Dr. Templeton's office... 215 00:08:33,663 --> 00:08:35,495 we share the same therapist... 216 00:08:35,496 --> 00:08:38,995 you ever notice how his chair is so much better and bigger 217 00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:41,745 than that dinky chair that he gives to us? 218 00:08:41,746 --> 00:08:44,370 I've never thought about the chair when I was in therapy. 219 00:08:44,371 --> 00:08:46,161 What... what do you think about that? 220 00:08:46,162 --> 00:08:48,620 I'm just so happy you're seeing somebody, pal, I really do. 221 00:08:48,621 --> 00:08:50,537 I think it's great. Do you like him? 222 00:08:50,538 --> 00:08:52,787 I'm only seeing him because of the whole fatwa business, that's all. 223 00:08:52,788 --> 00:08:53,487 Believe me. 224 00:08:53,488 --> 00:08:56,328 Well, don't make me sorry that I recommended him to you. 225 00:08:56,329 --> 00:08:57,870 I'm not talking about you. 226 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,953 - Okay. - Are you talking about me? 227 00:08:59,954 --> 00:09:02,120 - We should go. Yeah. - Yeah. 228 00:09:02,121 --> 00:09:04,203 All I'm saying is next time you're there, 229 00:09:04,204 --> 00:09:06,495 just be kind of aware of the chairs 230 00:09:06,496 --> 00:09:08,704 and the striking difference between the two, 231 00:09:08,705 --> 00:09:10,704 and tell me that I'm not crazy. 232 00:09:10,705 --> 00:09:13,161 Uh, we do have reservations at Mélisse. 233 00:09:13,162 --> 00:09:14,704 - Do you know Mélisse? Ah! - Mélisse? 234 00:09:14,705 --> 00:09:16,328 Good choice. It's truffle season. 235 00:09:16,329 --> 00:09:17,829 What? 236 00:09:17,830 --> 00:09:19,203 How do you know it's truffle season? 237 00:09:19,204 --> 00:09:20,537 Dr. Templeton told me. 238 00:09:20,538 --> 00:09:22,704 What do you talk about in your sessions? 239 00:09:22,705 --> 00:09:26,078 - That's okay. That's okay. Okay. - He loves truffles! 240 00:09:46,871 --> 00:09:48,871 Ay, dah! 241 00:09:51,246 --> 00:09:54,161 There's not enough room to get my hand in there to get the penis out. 242 00:09:54,162 --> 00:09:57,036 I've never really come across this problem before. 243 00:09:57,037 --> 00:09:59,412 Can't get my penis out of my pants? 244 00:09:59,413 --> 00:10:01,412 Have you ever heard of a short fly? 245 00:10:01,413 --> 00:10:04,662 And I'm not gonna unbutton and have them drop on the floor. 246 00:10:04,663 --> 00:10:06,203 Look, here's a solution... 247 00:10:06,204 --> 00:10:10,245 index finger, you take it, you go down, 248 00:10:10,246 --> 00:10:12,911 put it in your zipper, press down on the shaft, 249 00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:14,537 allows your head to pop up. 250 00:10:14,538 --> 00:10:16,078 - Pop up by itself. - Huh. 251 00:10:16,079 --> 00:10:19,036 - Press, pop up. - Like tiddlywinks. 252 00:10:19,037 --> 00:10:20,245 Yeah, like tiddlywinks. 253 00:10:20,246 --> 00:10:22,537 Those pants might've been manufactured 254 00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:24,829 in a country that has small penises. 255 00:10:24,830 --> 00:10:28,287 So these pants fit the penis from whence they came. 256 00:10:28,288 --> 00:10:29,462 You're goddamn right. 257 00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:32,662 Why would they make a little fly in a country with big-ass dicks? 258 00:10:32,663 --> 00:10:33,995 See, I'ma tell you, I don't have that problem 259 00:10:33,996 --> 00:10:35,453 'cause I buy my shit from Jamaica. 260 00:10:35,454 --> 00:10:37,036 My pants are slacks. 261 00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:38,787 The manufacturer, he makes jeans 262 00:10:38,788 --> 00:10:41,870 for people with big-ass fucking johnsons, like me. 263 00:10:41,871 --> 00:10:43,911 - Wow. - When I go to the bathroom 264 00:10:43,912 --> 00:10:45,662 and I sit down on the toilet, 265 00:10:45,663 --> 00:10:48,078 my johnson hangs in the water. 266 00:10:49,371 --> 00:10:52,453 That's just such nonsense. 267 00:10:52,454 --> 00:10:53,620 What are you saying that for? 268 00:10:53,621 --> 00:10:54,787 I sit on the fucking toilet, 269 00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:56,161 my shit goes under the water 270 00:10:56,162 --> 00:10:57,453 like... like this. 271 00:10:57,454 --> 00:10:58,953 It's almost like it grabs its fucking head 272 00:10:58,954 --> 00:11:00,287 and just like... and it goes in like this. 273 00:11:00,288 --> 00:11:01,787 - Bullshit. - All the fucking time. 274 00:11:01,788 --> 00:11:03,579 - Penis touching the... hey! - When I sit down... 275 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,120 Hey. 276 00:11:05,121 --> 00:11:07,121 Front door was unlocked. 277 00:11:08,371 --> 00:11:09,662 - What? - What? 278 00:11:09,663 --> 00:11:10,995 You left the door unlocked again? 279 00:11:10,996 --> 00:11:12,329 We never had that conversation, ever. 280 00:11:13,996 --> 00:11:15,412 I gotta talk to you quickly. 281 00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:16,745 You're having lunch with Lewis, right? 282 00:11:16,746 --> 00:11:18,328 - Yeah. - Okay, get there early. 283 00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:20,537 Oh, yeah, 'cause he takes the good seat, yeah. 284 00:11:20,538 --> 00:11:21,462 What's wrong with him? 285 00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:23,662 I've never had lunch with him in 20 years 286 00:11:23,663 --> 00:11:25,495 where I haven't been looking at a wall. 287 00:11:25,496 --> 00:11:29,287 I say trick him the next time in terms of what time lunch is. 288 00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:31,830 No, I'm just gonna show up a half hour earlier. 289 00:11:34,663 --> 00:11:36,911 Uh, can we just have a moment alone? 290 00:11:36,912 --> 00:11:39,370 Once I start laughing, I'm a part of this shit. 291 00:11:39,371 --> 00:11:41,579 Get the fuck out. You heard him. 292 00:11:41,580 --> 00:11:42,829 - It's all good. - Yeah. 293 00:11:42,830 --> 00:11:44,870 Let you handle your business. 294 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:47,870 I'm trying to be casual, 295 00:11:47,871 --> 00:11:49,412 but it's really difficult. 296 00:11:49,413 --> 00:11:51,495 Remember the realtor from the art gallery? 297 00:11:51,496 --> 00:11:55,078 - Yeah. - Well, she had an open house, 298 00:11:55,079 --> 00:11:58,662 and let's just say it stayed open a little longer for me. 299 00:11:58,663 --> 00:12:00,620 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 300 00:12:00,621 --> 00:12:03,704 - You had sex with her in an open house? - In an open house. 301 00:12:03,705 --> 00:12:06,078 - That's unbelievable. - Unbelievable. 302 00:12:06,079 --> 00:12:08,203 And you know they have cookies at the open houses. 303 00:12:08,204 --> 00:12:08,936 Yeah. 304 00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:11,036 Brought the cookies up with me, so we had sex... 305 00:12:11,037 --> 00:12:13,161 - Oh, my God. - ...I had some cookies, took a nap. 306 00:12:13,162 --> 00:12:17,120 - On what? - Well, they have the staging furniture. 307 00:12:17,121 --> 00:12:20,203 - Wow. - Oh, wow, mm. 308 00:12:20,204 --> 00:12:21,704 - Why? What? - What are you doing, 309 00:12:21,705 --> 00:12:22,745 listening in to our conversation? 310 00:12:22,746 --> 00:12:24,036 Fuck, yeah, I was. 311 00:12:24,037 --> 00:12:25,203 He's listening to the whole thing? 312 00:12:25,204 --> 00:12:26,870 Yes! 313 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:29,745 You said leave, you didn't say I couldn't come back. 314 00:12:29,746 --> 00:12:31,871 Now tell me where that fucking house is at. 315 00:12:33,912 --> 00:12:35,829 So, now I'm having this nightmare. 316 00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:39,078 I'm in this room, maybe it's a hall of some kind, 317 00:12:39,079 --> 00:12:41,787 I can't really tell, and there's a lot of people, 318 00:12:41,788 --> 00:12:44,745 it's very crowded, and I'm feeling a lot of anxiety. 319 00:12:44,746 --> 00:12:47,120 And then all of a sudden, I look up at this balcony 320 00:12:47,121 --> 00:12:49,245 and... and I see this guy, 321 00:12:49,246 --> 00:12:51,203 and he's wearing a big coat, 322 00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:53,662 and I know this is it, this is the fatwa! 323 00:12:53,663 --> 00:12:56,161 This is it and I can't get out, I'm trapped! 324 00:12:56,162 --> 00:12:58,620 Can I stop you right there for a second? 325 00:12:58,621 --> 00:13:01,078 Can I tell you what is really on my mind? 326 00:13:01,079 --> 00:13:03,036 I have a little bit of an issue. 327 00:13:03,037 --> 00:13:07,245 - Please. - Cheryl was in just the other day... 328 00:13:07,246 --> 00:13:08,495 Mm-hmm. 329 00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:11,453 ...and she brought me a gift. 330 00:13:11,454 --> 00:13:15,620 You see this lovely assortment of truffle oils? 331 00:13:15,621 --> 00:13:18,328 Huh, what do you know about that? 332 00:13:18,329 --> 00:13:20,537 How did Cheryl know 333 00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:23,620 that my wife and I love truffles? 334 00:13:23,621 --> 00:13:24,837 You told Cheryl. 335 00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:28,537 Yeah, I told her you... you love truffles, yeah. 336 00:13:28,538 --> 00:13:32,370 There's been a breach of the patient-doctor confidentiality. 337 00:13:32,371 --> 00:13:35,579 There's no such thing as patient-doctor confidentiality. 338 00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:37,287 I think what you're referring to 339 00:13:37,288 --> 00:13:39,287 is doctor-patient confidentiality, 340 00:13:39,288 --> 00:13:41,953 and that's a whole different ball game. 341 00:13:41,954 --> 00:13:44,245 Larry, what I try to create here 342 00:13:44,246 --> 00:13:46,287 is a circle of trust. 343 00:13:46,288 --> 00:13:48,953 And... can I have your arms for a second? 344 00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:49,862 I'd rather not. 345 00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:51,662 All right. Well, then I'll do it with my own arms. 346 00:13:51,663 --> 00:13:53,787 - Yeah, use your own arms. - Here it is like this... 347 00:13:53,788 --> 00:13:55,161 - Yeah. - ...and it creates a circle. 348 00:13:55,162 --> 00:13:56,537 - Mm-hmm. - And quite frankly, 349 00:13:56,538 --> 00:13:58,370 nothing should leave this circle. 350 00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,161 It should be ironclad. 351 00:14:00,162 --> 00:14:02,453 All right, I... I apologize 352 00:14:02,454 --> 00:14:04,995 if I betrayed your confidence in any way, 353 00:14:04,996 --> 00:14:07,995 and you have my word 354 00:14:07,996 --> 00:14:11,995 that it will never, ever happen again. 355 00:14:11,996 --> 00:14:14,870 Larry, I think this is a breakthrough. 356 00:14:14,871 --> 00:14:15,995 No, it's not a breakthrough. 357 00:14:15,996 --> 00:14:17,245 I think it's a breakthrough. 358 00:14:17,246 --> 00:14:18,579 It's not a breakthrough. 359 00:14:18,580 --> 00:14:19,995 I'm pretty sure it's a breakthrough. 360 00:14:19,996 --> 00:14:22,078 I'm gonna write down "breakthrough." 361 00:14:22,079 --> 00:14:24,036 You writing down "breakthrough" is just a waste of everybody's time. 362 00:14:24,037 --> 00:14:25,787 That whole pad, you might as well throw it... 363 00:14:25,788 --> 00:14:27,787 - there's nothing in that pad. - "Breakthrough." 364 00:14:27,788 --> 00:14:30,120 Anything else on your mind? 365 00:14:30,121 --> 00:14:33,829 You know, I've got these pants, okay, 366 00:14:33,830 --> 00:14:36,870 and they have a short fly. 367 00:14:36,871 --> 00:14:40,453 Very hard to, uh, extricate the penis. 368 00:14:40,454 --> 00:14:41,911 You ever had a pair of pants like that 369 00:14:41,912 --> 00:14:43,412 where you can't get your penis out? 370 00:14:43,413 --> 00:14:45,453 Once, I think, a while ago, 371 00:14:45,454 --> 00:14:47,120 and someone told me of a method... 372 00:14:47,121 --> 00:14:49,287 I think you unzip, 373 00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:53,829 you dive down with your index finger, 374 00:14:53,830 --> 00:14:55,911 - and... pop up. - Pops up. 375 00:14:55,912 --> 00:14:57,245 - The tiddlywink... - Tiddlywink! 376 00:14:57,246 --> 00:14:58,787 - Yeah! - Yeah. That might work. 377 00:14:58,788 --> 00:15:00,203 My friend told me the same thing. 378 00:15:00,204 --> 00:15:03,203 Listen, Barneys Warehouse is having a sale... 379 00:15:03,204 --> 00:15:04,953 - Mm-hmm. - ...and I'm sure they have 380 00:15:04,954 --> 00:15:08,537 a variety of long-fly slacks. 381 00:15:08,538 --> 00:15:10,203 All right, maybe I'll check it out. 382 00:15:10,204 --> 00:15:13,036 Well, I see that it is time to go. 383 00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:14,538 Do you know how I know that? 384 00:15:16,288 --> 00:15:18,787 Wait a second! 385 00:15:18,788 --> 00:15:20,579 Ho, ho! Look at that! 386 00:15:20,580 --> 00:15:24,579 Ah! I cannot tell you how happy I am about that. 387 00:15:24,580 --> 00:15:26,745 It has made my life easier. 388 00:15:26,746 --> 00:15:28,412 You see? Everything's working. 389 00:15:28,413 --> 00:15:30,078 All we gotta do is fix these chairs. 390 00:15:30,079 --> 00:15:33,245 I will call you first if I ever decide to go chair shopping. 391 00:15:33,246 --> 00:15:34,787 - Excellent. - Thank you. 392 00:15:34,788 --> 00:15:36,203 - All right. - All right, Larry. 393 00:15:40,413 --> 00:15:41,412 Good afternoon. 394 00:15:41,413 --> 00:15:43,245 Good afternoon. Welcome to Rustic Canyon. 395 00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:45,911 I have a reservation for David. 396 00:15:45,912 --> 00:15:49,245 I'm about, uh, 20 minutes early. 397 00:15:49,246 --> 00:15:50,537 Fantastic. 398 00:15:50,538 --> 00:15:51,746 Ah, the rest of your party has already arrived. 399 00:15:58,746 --> 00:16:00,745 It's unbelievable. 400 00:16:00,746 --> 00:16:03,245 - How long's he been here? - About 10 minutes. 401 00:16:03,246 --> 00:16:04,787 - Ah. - Yeah. 402 00:16:04,788 --> 00:16:06,454 - Okay, thank you. - Enjoy. 403 00:16:11,663 --> 00:16:14,453 - Did you get here early enough? - I got here when I got here. 404 00:16:14,454 --> 00:16:16,287 I'm here 20 minutes early, 405 00:16:16,288 --> 00:16:18,620 and he said you were here 10 minutes before me. 406 00:16:18,621 --> 00:16:21,829 That puts you here a half hour before the reservation. 407 00:16:21,830 --> 00:16:23,537 Well, you got here early, too. 408 00:16:23,538 --> 00:16:25,620 Yeah, because I wanted to beat you to the good seat, 409 00:16:25,621 --> 00:16:27,036 'cause you always have to get the good seat. 410 00:16:27,037 --> 00:16:28,720 - That's not true. - It is true. 411 00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:29,730 Come on, I got this fatwa. 412 00:16:29,731 --> 00:16:31,370 I can't sit here with my back to the door. 413 00:16:31,371 --> 00:16:32,787 I already ordered something 414 00:16:32,788 --> 00:16:34,579 and I've touched all the... all the... 415 00:16:34,580 --> 00:16:36,620 That doesn't mean anything. We'll get new silverware. 416 00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:37,953 You'll get a disease or something. 417 00:16:37,954 --> 00:16:39,120 So, you're not gonna let me sit there? 418 00:16:39,121 --> 00:16:40,579 No fucking way. 419 00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:42,495 You know what? The next time we have lunch, 420 00:16:42,496 --> 00:16:45,036 you better set your alarm for 7:00 in the morning. 421 00:16:45,037 --> 00:16:47,787 I'm setting my alarm for 6:30, you prick. 422 00:16:47,788 --> 00:16:50,120 Is that so? I'll be staying up all night 423 00:16:50,121 --> 00:16:52,953 waiting outside that door for them to open it. 424 00:16:52,954 --> 00:16:54,328 I'll be here before the owner. 425 00:16:54,329 --> 00:16:56,120 Yeah? Well, I got news for you. I got perks. 426 00:16:56,121 --> 00:16:59,495 They bought my picture, so I'm gonna sleep in the kitchen. 427 00:16:59,496 --> 00:17:01,495 You lost, pal. 428 00:17:04,996 --> 00:17:08,620 Oh, yeah! Oh! Close that deal! 429 00:17:08,621 --> 00:17:10,495 - You close the deal! - You close the deal! 430 00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:13,412 - You close the deal! - Make me an offer! 431 00:17:14,496 --> 00:17:15,745 Ooh! 432 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,953 I've seen every house that's for sale in Brentwood, 433 00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:27,036 and I've had sex in every house that's for sale in Brentwood. 434 00:17:27,037 --> 00:17:30,120 We even had sex in a house that was in escrow. 435 00:17:30,121 --> 00:17:32,078 - Yes. - You don't have to worry about hotels, 436 00:17:32,079 --> 00:17:33,203 - anything like that. - Nothing. 437 00:17:33,204 --> 00:17:34,953 You go to these houses. 438 00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:36,787 And let's say I'm driving around a different neighborhood 439 00:17:36,788 --> 00:17:38,453 and I see a house that's for sale, 440 00:17:38,454 --> 00:17:40,036 gets me kind of horny. 441 00:17:40,037 --> 00:17:43,537 She is not only a good-looking woman, 442 00:17:43,538 --> 00:17:45,953 - but she's so stylish. - Very sharp. 443 00:17:45,954 --> 00:17:47,953 - She's very sharp. - I need to up my game. 444 00:17:47,954 --> 00:17:49,870 It's... now, don't get me wrong, it's a nice suit, 445 00:17:49,871 --> 00:17:51,537 but it's four years old. 446 00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,953 You know what? Barneys is having a warehouse sale. 447 00:17:53,954 --> 00:17:55,245 The fuck do you know from 448 00:17:55,246 --> 00:17:56,953 Barneys having a warehouse sale? 449 00:17:56,954 --> 00:17:58,704 Never thought I'd hear those words coming out of your mouth. 450 00:17:58,705 --> 00:18:00,412 I... I heard. 451 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:01,787 What do you mean, you heard? 452 00:18:01,788 --> 00:18:02,870 Who would've told you that? 453 00:18:02,871 --> 00:18:04,161 I don't know. 454 00:18:04,162 --> 00:18:06,078 - I just heard somewhere. - You heard? 455 00:18:06,079 --> 00:18:07,787 You wanna explain yourself? 456 00:18:07,788 --> 00:18:10,745 Would you like to tell me what I need to explain? 457 00:18:10,746 --> 00:18:12,995 Well, I just got off the phone with Jane Kleinberg 458 00:18:12,996 --> 00:18:17,036 and she told me she saw you in a car with another woman. 459 00:18:17,037 --> 00:18:18,953 Well, do you know who that woman is? 460 00:18:18,954 --> 00:18:22,328 - No, I do not. - She is a realtor. 461 00:18:22,329 --> 00:18:25,412 - Yeah. - And I am looking for houses. 462 00:18:25,413 --> 00:18:28,662 I was surprising you by buying a house. 463 00:18:28,663 --> 00:18:29,953 - Really? - Yeah. 464 00:18:29,954 --> 00:18:31,412 He was just telling me all about it, 465 00:18:31,413 --> 00:18:33,245 and now you ruined the surprise. 466 00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:34,787 Well, that's very sweet of you. 467 00:18:34,788 --> 00:18:36,412 It is very sweet of me. 468 00:18:36,413 --> 00:18:39,245 How about this guy, huh? You're a lucky woman. 469 00:18:39,246 --> 00:18:42,453 Thank you for the surprise and I'm sorry to ruin, 470 00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:45,620 but... you know, I never know with you two. 471 00:18:45,621 --> 00:18:49,161 He's a beautiful man. A beautiful man. 472 00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:50,496 That's right. 473 00:19:01,746 --> 00:19:03,453 - You working here? - Yes. 474 00:19:03,454 --> 00:19:06,078 Hey, could you do me a favor? 475 00:19:06,079 --> 00:19:07,995 I want to sit in the last row, 476 00:19:07,996 --> 00:19:09,870 in the seat that's closest to the door. 477 00:19:09,871 --> 00:19:11,953 Can you reserve that for me? Could you do that? 478 00:19:11,954 --> 00:19:14,453 I'm sorry. We don't save seats. 479 00:19:14,454 --> 00:19:15,745 You don't save seats? 480 00:19:15,746 --> 00:19:17,370 What is that? That's a policy? 481 00:19:17,371 --> 00:19:20,953 It's a memorial and that's not part of it. 482 00:19:20,954 --> 00:19:24,412 What about we make a little... 483 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:25,829 we make a little deal? 484 00:19:25,830 --> 00:19:29,829 You get a little paid for your trouble, huh? 485 00:19:29,830 --> 00:19:32,287 It's five bucks. 486 00:19:32,288 --> 00:19:34,245 Okay. 487 00:19:34,246 --> 00:19:36,453 - Is that better? Huh? - Which seat was it again? 488 00:19:36,454 --> 00:19:39,161 - It was the last row? - The last row, closest to the door. 489 00:19:39,162 --> 00:19:41,287 - Uh-huh. Yeah. - Yeah. 490 00:19:41,288 --> 00:19:42,953 - You got it. - Thank you. 491 00:19:42,954 --> 00:19:44,245 You're welcome. 492 00:19:44,246 --> 00:19:47,036 ...a very troubled family. 493 00:19:47,037 --> 00:19:47,954 Hey. 494 00:19:51,788 --> 00:19:53,953 Hmm. 495 00:19:53,954 --> 00:19:56,704 - Okay. - Okay. 496 00:19:56,705 --> 00:19:58,120 - Cheryl. - Hey. 497 00:19:58,121 --> 00:19:59,787 Hey. 498 00:19:59,788 --> 00:20:01,787 What's Dr. Templeton doing here? 499 00:20:01,788 --> 00:20:04,829 Oh, you know, Marty is having such a hard time 500 00:20:04,830 --> 00:20:06,453 - with this whole thing. - Is he? 501 00:20:06,454 --> 00:20:08,704 So I suggested that he talk to Lionel. 502 00:20:08,705 --> 00:20:11,537 - Lionel? - Dr. Templeton. 503 00:20:11,538 --> 00:20:13,995 You know, this is odd, though, because when he passed me, 504 00:20:13,996 --> 00:20:16,620 I gave him a very friendly hello. 505 00:20:16,621 --> 00:20:18,036 I went, "Hey!" 506 00:20:18,037 --> 00:20:21,078 And I get back... 507 00:20:21,079 --> 00:20:24,704 And I couldn't tell if it was a typical funeral nod 508 00:20:24,705 --> 00:20:27,161 or if he's angry with me 509 00:20:27,162 --> 00:20:30,036 because I want to change the chair in the office. 510 00:20:30,037 --> 00:20:31,537 Well, it seems like it would be odd 511 00:20:31,538 --> 00:20:34,036 for him to give you a big hello at a funeral. 512 00:20:34,037 --> 00:20:36,911 - I'm not asking for a big hello, Cheryl. - A young man died 513 00:20:36,912 --> 00:20:39,120 and needs all of his friends and family. 514 00:20:39,121 --> 00:20:41,495 I'm asking for, you know, a friendly hello. 515 00:20:41,496 --> 00:20:43,120 "Ah." That's not big. 516 00:20:43,121 --> 00:20:46,036 You know, maybe you should make it less about you. 517 00:20:46,037 --> 00:20:48,370 And by the way, you really got me in a lot of trouble... 518 00:20:48,371 --> 00:20:49,745 - Why? - ...with Dr. Templeton. 519 00:20:49,746 --> 00:20:51,495 Because you told him that I said 520 00:20:51,496 --> 00:20:52,579 that he likes truffles. 521 00:20:52,580 --> 00:20:54,495 I got him truffle oil as a gift. 522 00:20:54,496 --> 00:20:56,245 I didn't... wasn't even talking about you. 523 00:20:56,246 --> 00:20:57,662 - How...? - Well, he said it was a breach 524 00:20:57,663 --> 00:20:59,579 of patient-doctor confidentiality, 525 00:20:59,580 --> 00:21:01,120 which there's really no such thing. 526 00:21:01,121 --> 00:21:02,745 Okay, well, then, you know what? 527 00:21:02,746 --> 00:21:05,495 We should respect Lionel and his process and... 528 00:21:05,496 --> 00:21:07,412 You don't have to keep calling him Lionel. 529 00:21:07,413 --> 00:21:09,953 Maybe it's getting too complicated 530 00:21:09,954 --> 00:21:11,953 having the same therapist. 531 00:21:11,954 --> 00:21:14,161 Gotta say, you're looking sharp, sweetheart. 532 00:21:14,162 --> 00:21:16,537 I like this three-piece. I like the whole look. 533 00:21:16,538 --> 00:21:17,745 - Yeah? - This slims you. 534 00:21:17,746 --> 00:21:19,495 It holds you in, it's great. 535 00:21:19,496 --> 00:21:20,044 I... 536 00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:21,245 Where'd you get that? Barneys, you said? 537 00:21:21,246 --> 00:21:24,495 - Barneys Warehouse sale. - Barneys Warehouse sale? 538 00:21:24,496 --> 00:21:26,745 How the fuck did you know about Barneys Warehouse sale? 539 00:21:26,746 --> 00:21:28,453 Uh, Larry told me. 540 00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:30,712 Larry told you about Barneys Warehouse sale? 541 00:21:30,713 --> 00:21:31,412 Yeah. 542 00:21:31,413 --> 00:21:33,287 I find that very difficult to believe. 543 00:21:33,288 --> 00:21:35,953 - Why do you even give a shit? - Larry! Lar! 544 00:21:35,954 --> 00:21:37,287 Come over here. 545 00:21:37,288 --> 00:21:38,787 There's always something up with you two 546 00:21:38,788 --> 00:21:40,120 that I can't trust, you know that? 547 00:21:40,121 --> 00:21:43,120 Did you tell Jeff about Barneys Warehouse sale? 548 00:21:43,121 --> 00:21:45,161 - Yeah. - Where'd you hear about that from? 549 00:21:45,162 --> 00:21:47,579 That's so not you. 550 00:21:47,580 --> 00:21:49,995 Uh, I can't say. 551 00:21:49,996 --> 00:21:51,995 What do you mean you can't say? 552 00:21:51,996 --> 00:21:56,036 I can't say who told me about Barneys Warehouse sale. 553 00:21:56,037 --> 00:21:57,870 I'm not at liberty to say. 554 00:21:57,871 --> 00:21:59,787 It's a fucking sale, Larry. 555 00:21:59,788 --> 00:22:01,829 Who gives a shit? Just tell me who told you. 556 00:22:01,830 --> 00:22:05,995 No, I will not and cannot tell you 557 00:22:05,996 --> 00:22:09,203 who told me about Barneys Warehouse sale. 558 00:22:09,204 --> 00:22:10,953 All right, this is sounding like bullshit now. 559 00:22:10,954 --> 00:22:13,370 This sounds like another one of your mishegoss bullshit thing. 560 00:22:13,371 --> 00:22:17,036 - It's not a mishegoss. Just tell her. - That is confidential information, 561 00:22:17,037 --> 00:22:20,620 which I will never reveal under any circumstances. 562 00:22:20,621 --> 00:22:22,161 Larry didn't tell you about Barneys Warehouse. 563 00:22:22,162 --> 00:22:23,870 - He told me about Barneys. - No, he did not. 564 00:22:25,663 --> 00:22:26,829 That I cannot say! 565 00:22:26,830 --> 00:22:30,370 Not today, not tomorrow, not ever! 566 00:22:30,371 --> 00:22:31,304 That's it! 567 00:22:31,305 --> 00:22:32,704 All right, you're a fucking liar, Jeff. 568 00:22:32,705 --> 00:22:33,687 I'm not a liar! 569 00:22:33,688 --> 00:22:35,287 There's something you're not telling me. 570 00:22:35,288 --> 00:22:37,328 Dr. Templeton! 571 00:22:37,329 --> 00:22:40,328 - Hey! - Honey, I'll be right in. 572 00:22:40,329 --> 00:22:44,537 Hey. Listen, I... I happened to overhear that conversation, 573 00:22:44,538 --> 00:22:47,495 and I'm very appreciative that you respected 574 00:22:47,496 --> 00:22:49,078 the patient-doctor confidentiality. 575 00:22:49,079 --> 00:22:50,328 Hey, you're welcome. 576 00:22:50,329 --> 00:22:51,787 You know, when somebody tells me something, 577 00:22:51,788 --> 00:22:52,787 I take it to heart. 578 00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:53,953 Glad to hear that. 579 00:22:53,954 --> 00:22:55,453 You know, I noticed 580 00:22:55,454 --> 00:22:57,662 when I said hello to you earlier, 581 00:22:57,663 --> 00:22:59,579 I gave you a very hearty hello 582 00:22:59,580 --> 00:23:03,036 and your response was kind of grim. 583 00:23:03,037 --> 00:23:05,870 - Was that a funeral hello? - Well, very observant. 584 00:23:05,871 --> 00:23:09,662 It was a downward nod indicating a solemn hello 585 00:23:09,663 --> 00:23:12,203 as opposed to an upward nod 586 00:23:12,204 --> 00:23:14,704 where it would be a more joyous occasion. 587 00:23:14,705 --> 00:23:16,370 Gotcha. So, you're not mad at me? 588 00:23:16,371 --> 00:23:19,495 Oh, no, no, no, I'm not... I'm not mad at you at all. 589 00:23:19,496 --> 00:23:21,870 Have you considered my generous offer 590 00:23:21,871 --> 00:23:23,287 to go chair shopping with you? 591 00:23:23,288 --> 00:23:27,370 I have considered it, yes, and I am declining it. 592 00:23:27,371 --> 00:23:29,537 - Huh. - I think if I go chair shopping, 593 00:23:29,538 --> 00:23:31,704 I'll... I'll do it by myself. 594 00:23:31,705 --> 00:23:32,478 Thank you. 595 00:23:32,479 --> 00:23:34,078 Well, you'll be making the same mistake all over again. 596 00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:35,745 You'll have a substandard chair 597 00:23:35,746 --> 00:23:37,078 and a lot of unhappy clients. 598 00:23:37,079 --> 00:23:40,036 That presumes a mistake was made initially. 599 00:23:40,037 --> 00:23:42,078 - Hmm. - Now, if you'll excuse me, 600 00:23:42,079 --> 00:23:43,620 Mrs. Templeton is waiting for me. 601 00:23:43,621 --> 00:23:45,911 - How is Mrs. Templeton? - She's quite well. 602 00:23:45,912 --> 00:23:48,579 I'd like to... I'd like to meet her. 603 00:23:48,580 --> 00:23:52,662 I don't think that is necessary, really, Larry. 604 00:23:52,663 --> 00:23:55,078 - Do you? - Cheryl tells me that she met her. 605 00:23:55,079 --> 00:23:58,704 Oh, yes. Cheryl and Mrs. Templeton are quite friendly. 606 00:23:58,705 --> 00:24:01,911 So, why can Cheryl meet her and not me? 607 00:24:01,912 --> 00:24:03,020 I don't get that. 608 00:24:03,121 --> 00:24:05,020 Well, Mrs. Templeton has already indicated 609 00:24:05,121 --> 00:24:06,745 that she would rather not meet you. 610 00:24:06,746 --> 00:24:08,120 Hmm. Well, in any event, 611 00:24:08,121 --> 00:24:10,036 please give my regards to Mrs. Templeton. 612 00:24:10,037 --> 00:24:11,620 I probably won't. 613 00:24:11,621 --> 00:24:14,911 Well, if you change your mind, Lionel, you'll let me know. 614 00:24:14,912 --> 00:24:16,829 Oh, Larry. 615 00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:18,370 Would it be all right if you continued 616 00:24:18,371 --> 00:24:20,911 to refer to me as Dr. Templeton? 617 00:24:28,204 --> 00:24:31,370 Shalom and welcome to the celebration of life 618 00:24:31,371 --> 00:24:33,620 of Kenny Funkhouser. 619 00:24:33,621 --> 00:24:37,287 We begin today with the traditional memorial prayer, 620 00:24:37,288 --> 00:24:40,245 Kel Maleh Rachamim. 621 00:24:40,246 --> 00:24:44,788 ♪ Kel maleh rachamim... ♪ 622 00:24:46,663 --> 00:24:49,537 - Hey, that's my seat. - What are you talking about? 623 00:24:49,538 --> 00:24:51,287 I reserved... I reserved that seat. 624 00:24:51,288 --> 00:24:53,537 I gave the guy 20 bucks to reserve... look, here's the sign. 625 00:24:53,538 --> 00:24:55,412 - You threw it on the floor? - Fuck the reserved sign. 626 00:24:55,413 --> 00:24:57,620 This is a memorial service, not a Knick game. 627 00:24:57,621 --> 00:24:58,587 You gotta respect the reserved sign. 628 00:24:58,588 --> 00:24:59,787 This is the worst seat in the whole house. 629 00:24:59,788 --> 00:25:01,486 I did it because the bathroom's 10 feet away... 630 00:25:01,487 --> 00:25:02,287 Look. See? 631 00:25:02,288 --> 00:25:04,120 It's a reserved sign. You can't just throw it on the floor. 632 00:25:04,121 --> 00:25:05,662 It should say "asshole," not "reserved." 633 00:25:05,663 --> 00:25:07,453 Do me a favor and beat it, will ya? 634 00:25:07,454 --> 00:25:09,662 - Just get outta here. - I got a fatwa I gotta deal with, here. 635 00:25:09,663 --> 00:25:11,953 - I need that seat. - I'm sorry about your fatwa, 636 00:25:11,954 --> 00:25:14,161 but I got a problem with my urinary tract. 637 00:25:14,162 --> 00:25:15,829 You always have to have the good seat, don't you? 638 00:25:15,830 --> 00:25:17,787 Always. That was my seat! You took it again! 639 00:25:17,788 --> 00:25:19,161 - It wasn't your seat. - You took it again! 640 00:25:19,162 --> 00:25:20,537 You took it again! You took it again! 641 00:25:20,538 --> 00:25:21,662 - Shh! - I didn't. 642 00:25:21,663 --> 00:25:22,995 The Lord is his portion. 643 00:25:22,996 --> 00:25:24,453 What happened to the seat? 644 00:25:24,454 --> 00:25:26,120 - I gave you $20. - May he rest in peace. 645 00:25:26,121 --> 00:25:28,203 I know, I reserved it, but he just ignored it. 646 00:25:28,204 --> 00:25:29,704 - Amen. - Amen. 647 00:25:29,705 --> 00:25:31,078 Get him outta there! 648 00:25:31,079 --> 00:25:33,120 - He's a mourner. - He's not mourning! 649 00:25:33,121 --> 00:25:35,662 If he's mourning, it's 'cause he's losing his hair on the top. 650 00:25:35,663 --> 00:25:38,120 - That's what he's mourning. - I'm an usher, I'm not a bouncer. 651 00:25:38,121 --> 00:25:39,745 Okay, you know what? Forget it. 652 00:25:39,746 --> 00:25:41,495 You're the last usher I ever bribe. 653 00:25:41,496 --> 00:25:44,620 Fear not death. We are all destined to die. 654 00:25:44,621 --> 00:25:46,620 - We share it with all who ever lived. - Is this taken? 655 00:25:46,621 --> 00:25:48,911 - It's reserved. - Oh, okay, great. 656 00:25:48,912 --> 00:25:51,453 Death is better than a life of pain, 657 00:25:51,454 --> 00:25:53,662 - and eternal rest than constant sickness. - Oh, hello, Mrs. Templeton. 658 00:25:53,663 --> 00:25:56,620 Larry, do not address Mrs. Templeton. 659 00:25:56,621 --> 00:25:58,495 I hope you're enjoying truffle season. 660 00:25:58,496 --> 00:26:00,495 - Larry, find a seat. - Okay. 661 00:26:00,496 --> 00:26:02,662 - ...as a grain of sand... - Sorry. 662 00:26:02,663 --> 00:26:05,120 - ...the good things in life... - Who's she? 663 00:26:05,121 --> 00:26:07,870 - I'm Kenny's cousin. - It's none of your business, anyway. 664 00:26:07,871 --> 00:26:09,620 - Go find a seat. - Why didn't you save me a seat? 665 00:26:09,621 --> 00:26:11,412 You didn't ask me to save you a seat. 666 00:26:11,413 --> 00:26:14,911 - Hey. - Sorry, sorry, sorry. 667 00:26:14,912 --> 00:26:16,953 I'd like to bring forward Kenny's uncle, 668 00:26:16,954 --> 00:26:20,036 Martin Funkhouser, who would like to say a few words. 669 00:26:20,037 --> 00:26:22,370 - Great. - Martin, please? 670 00:26:22,371 --> 00:26:24,453 - Thank you, Rabbi Dorfman. - Oh, sorry. 671 00:26:24,454 --> 00:26:27,370 I would like to take a moment to acknowledge 672 00:26:27,371 --> 00:26:29,662 my former beautiful daughter Jodi, 673 00:26:29,663 --> 00:26:31,412 who's now my handsome son Joey. 674 00:26:31,413 --> 00:26:32,911 - I love you, Joey. - Thank you. I love you. 675 00:26:32,912 --> 00:26:34,911 - Keep up the good work. - Thank you. 676 00:26:34,912 --> 00:26:37,745 Kenny Funkhouser was my nephew. 677 00:26:37,746 --> 00:26:39,412 He was a golden child. 678 00:26:39,413 --> 00:26:41,453 He was a straight-A student. 679 00:26:41,454 --> 00:26:44,495 A great athlete who was going to Stanford. 680 00:26:44,496 --> 00:26:46,370 All-American baseball player. 681 00:26:46,371 --> 00:26:48,704 Hey, hey, hey, come on, come on. 682 00:26:48,705 --> 00:26:51,870 - That's way too loud. - Okay, okay, okay. 683 00:26:51,871 --> 00:26:54,078 Just whimper. Can you whimper? 684 00:26:54,079 --> 00:26:57,829 This is a day of celebrating Kenny's life. 685 00:26:57,830 --> 00:26:59,203 What are you doing? 686 00:26:59,204 --> 00:27:01,078 Go cry outside, for God's sake. 687 00:27:01,079 --> 00:27:04,078 - He's so young. - Ah, come on, it's enough already. 688 00:27:04,079 --> 00:27:06,120 I can't hear a thing. 689 00:27:06,121 --> 00:27:07,787 - Shut up. - Okay, okay. 690 00:27:07,788 --> 00:27:10,620 Let me say some things about Kenny Funkhouser. 691 00:27:10,621 --> 00:27:12,870 Kenny is with us. 692 00:27:12,871 --> 00:27:14,995 He will always be with us. 693 00:27:14,996 --> 00:27:17,287 And someday, we'll see him again. 694 00:27:17,288 --> 00:27:19,995 Maybe play catch with him, even. 695 00:27:19,996 --> 00:27:23,495 When we leave this service today, let's not feel sad. 696 00:27:23,496 --> 00:27:27,620 Let's be upbeat, because that's what Kenny would've wanted. 697 00:27:27,621 --> 00:27:30,579 He was a very happy young man. 698 00:27:30,580 --> 00:27:32,370 Fatwa! He's got a gun! 699 00:27:38,037 --> 00:27:39,788 Ah! Oh, oh! 700 00:27:41,079 --> 00:27:43,453 Oh, my God! 701 00:27:43,454 --> 00:27:46,412 Go, sweetie, this way. Go out this way. 702 00:27:47,830 --> 00:27:49,453 - No! Jesus! - Wait, Ted! 703 00:27:49,454 --> 00:27:51,996 Go! Fatwa! 704 00:27:53,954 --> 00:27:55,662 - Come on. - Hurry up! 705 00:27:55,663 --> 00:27:57,161 That's... hey! 706 00:27:57,162 --> 00:27:59,830 That's my friend, you idiot! 707 00:28:03,871 --> 00:28:06,787 Oh. 708 00:28:06,788 --> 00:28:09,328 Sorry. 709 00:28:13,288 --> 00:28:15,037 Sorry. 710 00:28:17,371 --> 00:28:19,412 So, as you can see, great flow. 711 00:28:19,413 --> 00:28:20,870 We're just gonna move through here. 712 00:28:20,871 --> 00:28:23,412 Let me show you why this is your house. 713 00:28:23,413 --> 00:28:25,911 Chef's kitchen, you got silent dishwashers. 714 00:28:25,912 --> 00:28:27,495 It's an entertainer's dream, really. 715 00:28:27,496 --> 00:28:29,203 You could entertain for 100 people here 716 00:28:29,204 --> 00:28:31,870 or you could entertain for two. 717 00:28:31,871 --> 00:28:33,870 - Wow. - Floor to ceiling windows. 718 00:28:33,871 --> 00:28:34,712 Pizza oven. 719 00:28:34,713 --> 00:28:37,412 Uh-huh. And where's the master bedroom? 720 00:28:37,413 --> 00:28:40,787 - The master bedroom is upstairs. - Okay. 721 00:28:40,788 --> 00:28:43,704 And we could take the grand staircase 722 00:28:43,705 --> 00:28:46,537 or we could take the elevator. 723 00:28:46,538 --> 00:28:48,203 Elevator. 724 00:28:58,454 --> 00:29:01,453 This is your own little sanctuary. 725 00:29:01,454 --> 00:29:04,537 Beautiful, spacious room. Lots of morning light. 726 00:29:04,538 --> 00:29:06,745 - Beautiful place to wake up. - Uh-huh. 727 00:29:06,746 --> 00:29:08,579 Just a great energy in here overall. 728 00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:11,245 Mm-hmm. Furniture come with the house? 729 00:29:11,246 --> 00:29:12,953 No, the furniture is staged, 730 00:29:12,954 --> 00:29:15,870 but I could talk to the designer about throwing it in. 731 00:29:15,871 --> 00:29:19,036 You like this bed, Jeff? 732 00:29:19,037 --> 00:29:22,579 - Negotiable on the price or what? - They're firm with the price. 733 00:29:22,580 --> 00:29:24,911 It's out of our price range. 734 00:29:24,912 --> 00:29:26,745 - Come on. - We'll take it. 735 00:29:26,746 --> 00:29:29,036 - Huh? - We'll take it. 736 00:29:29,037 --> 00:29:31,537 Sold. Congratulations. 737 00:29:37,621 --> 00:29:39,203 I gotta tell you something. 738 00:29:39,204 --> 00:29:41,995 I never thought I was gonna get you down here. 739 00:29:41,996 --> 00:29:43,704 - This is nice. - Let's see. 740 00:29:43,705 --> 00:29:45,245 Try that. 741 00:29:45,246 --> 00:29:47,036 What do you think? 742 00:29:47,037 --> 00:29:49,245 - No, I don't think so. No. - I don't think so, either. 743 00:29:49,246 --> 00:29:50,329 - Not this one. - No. 744 00:29:52,788 --> 00:29:55,911 This isn't bad. It's got... it's a bit of a rocker, here. 745 00:29:55,912 --> 00:29:57,413 Let's move to another chair. 746 00:29:59,121 --> 00:30:01,745 - All right. - All right, I gotta say, 747 00:30:01,746 --> 00:30:05,911 this one, to me, is a perfect chair. 748 00:30:05,912 --> 00:30:07,995 I think my clients would like this. 749 00:30:07,996 --> 00:30:09,328 - Great. - Why not? 750 00:30:09,329 --> 00:30:11,870 Well, let me... 751 00:30:11,871 --> 00:30:14,120 Ooh, it's kind of pricey. 752 00:30:14,121 --> 00:30:15,953 Well, thank you. Thank you very much. 753 00:30:15,954 --> 00:30:18,120 That's very generous of you, Larry. 754 00:30:18,121 --> 00:30:20,953 Are you expecting me to pay for this chair? 755 00:30:20,954 --> 00:30:22,953 That is all the time we have. 756 00:30:22,954 --> 00:30:25,121 And, well, I'll see you next week. 757 00:30:26,663 --> 00:30:29,579 Okay? Thank you, Larry.