1 00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:08,042 ( Music playing ) 2 00:00:12,146 --> 00:00:14,682 - Ah. Oh! Nice. - Huh? Huh? 3 00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:16,817 - See? Right? - That was nice. 4 00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,352 - You know what? - What? 5 00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:20,030 - I think this is our year. - I think you're looking 6 00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:21,454 at the five-man team club champions. 7 00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,400 Man: I think we're the team to beat. I really do. 8 00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:25,269 I really think we have a great chance this year. 9 00:00:25,293 --> 00:00:28,396 - I agree. - So, uh, are you ready to go? I gotta go. 10 00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:30,431 Why? - You've gotta go? Take it easy. 11 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,576 No, I've just gotta get back. I told ilene I'd be back 12 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,920 - at a certain time. - How did I know that? "I told ilene." 13 00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:36,304 - "I've gotta get back." - Okay. 14 00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:37,647 On the way, we'll pick up a new cock for you, okay? 15 00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:39,873 - Thank you, Eddie. - ( All laugh ) 16 00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:42,186 So listen, why don't we get together at my place tomorrow night... 17 00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:43,811 Dinner, bring the wives? 18 00:00:43,911 --> 00:00:46,147 - A pre-tournament dinner. I like it. - Jeff: Sure. 19 00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:47,491 What about funkhouser? Will you call him? 20 00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:49,317 I'll call him. He'll be there tomorrow. 21 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:50,694 Okay. Where has he been? Have you seen him? 22 00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,786 I don't know what the hell he's doing. 23 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,165 He hasn't practiced for... - like a month I haven't seen him out here. 24 00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:56,829 - No one's seen him! - What does he think? 25 00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:58,968 He's just gonna come out here on Saturday and play great? 26 00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:01,071 - I don't get it. - Jeff: He is great, but is he that great? 27 00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:02,775 - Eddie: I'll take care of it. - All right. 28 00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:05,008 - I gotta... I'm sorry, I gotta go. - See you guys later. 29 00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:07,101 - See you, guys. - Okay okay. 30 00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:09,703 Jeez. Is there anything more pathetic 31 00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:12,440 than a cowering, emasculated Jew who has to run home to his wife? 32 00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:15,709 - I would agree with you. - That poor fuck. 33 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,454 Imagine how he'd be if he was married to susie. 34 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,713 He'd have pee stains on his pants constantly. 35 00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:22,550 - He'd be in her purse. You know? - He'd be in her purse. 36 00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:25,753 He has no balls. I have a solid single ball. 37 00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:28,289 - Yeah, you've got one ball. - I've got one solid ball. 38 00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:30,291 - Hey, let's get something to eat. - Okay. 39 00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:33,561 Um, you want to try out that palestinian chicken place? 40 00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:36,063 Let's do it. That's all I've ever heard is how great it is. 41 00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:37,498 Fantastic. Okay, let's go. 42 00:01:41,369 --> 00:01:43,837 Mmm, I've never had chicken like this. 43 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,049 - I don't know what the hell they're doing. - I don't know. 44 00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:49,009 - It's unlike anything I've ever even tasted. - What about this place? 45 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:52,012 Look at these posters, huh? 46 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,714 Jeff: Yeah, they do not like the Jews. 47 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,749 - Look at that one. - Ooh. 48 00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:57,627 Larry: We're probably the only Jews ever walked in here. 49 00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,587 Jeff: Ever. What these people should do 50 00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:01,422 is send their chicken over to Israel. 51 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,257 - For the peace process. - Mm-hmm. 52 00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,034 They'd take down all those settlements in the morning. 53 00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:07,261 Believe me. You know what? 54 00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:10,998 This would be a fantastic place 55 00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:13,467 for Jews who are cheating on their spouses 56 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,303 - to come to. - Oh yeah. 57 00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:17,214 Because no Jews ever come here. They'd be so safe. 58 00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:18,648 No one you know is ever gonna see you here. 59 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:21,209 - You would never get caught. - Ever. 60 00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:24,278 Looks like they're planning the next intifada 61 00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:26,046 at this table, but look at this woman. 62 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,416 Could be the next Mrs. David. 63 00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:30,494 - What do you think about that? - If by some chance 64 00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,286 she's gonna get over her anti-semitism, 65 00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:34,331 - odds are not with you, no. - Not with me? Really? 66 00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:36,115 - Just my gut feeling. - You know what it is? 67 00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:39,293 You're always attracted to someone who doesn't want you, right? 68 00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,295 - Right. - Well, here you have somebody 69 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:42,596 who not only doesn't want you, 70 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:45,266 doesn't even acknowledge your right to exist... 71 00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,868 - Exist, yup. - Wants your destruction. 72 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:50,404 That's a turn-on. 73 00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:06,587 - ( Crashes ) - oh my god! 74 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,456 ( Sighs ) 75 00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:12,660 ( Tisks ) 76 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,160 She almost took my head off, but I don't like those teachers. 77 00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:16,797 I don't. Turn the boys into girls and... 78 00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:19,175 - no, you know what? They're doing their best. - I have to say... 79 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,501 - Hey! - Well well. 80 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:23,271 - Hey. Hello. - Welcome. 81 00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:26,039 Hello. Oh my god, are you serious? 82 00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:28,252 - Thank you. Yes, I'm serious. - Can you believe this? 83 00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:30,287 - It's been like a year he hasn't seen me. - A lot, I know. 84 00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:32,580 - She lost a lot. - About 60, 65 lbs. 85 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,582 - Susie and Jeff: Wow. - Unbelievable. 86 00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:36,384 - How'd you do it? - I walked, 87 00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:39,353 I watch what I eat and discipline. 88 00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:41,373 - A lot of celery. - Celery. Jeff, you hear that? 89 00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:43,657 - Celery. - Yeah, I heard celery. 90 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:46,627 - I'm just saying. - You're just saying? You're just annoying. 91 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,563 - By the way, who's got the silver Lexus? - Ron, why? 92 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:52,199 Oh. He's not gonna like it. 93 00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:54,101 - Jeff: You hit it? - I'm afraid so. 94 00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:56,069 Oh god, he just got that car. 95 00:03:56,169 --> 00:04:00,040 I'm so stupid. I tried to back up with mirrors only. 96 00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:03,844 - Why? - I challenged myself to just use mirrors 97 00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:06,744 - and it didn't work. - What do you think this is, the firecracker 400? 98 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:09,317 - It's a driveway. - All right, I'm gonna break the news to him. 99 00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,652 Eddie: All right. Hey, funkhouser's in there too. 100 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,721 He's got a little surprise for you. 101 00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:16,457 - Hey. How's it going? - Hey, Larry, how are you? Nice to see you. 102 00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:18,134 - Yeah, hi. - You remember my wife ilene, right? 103 00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:19,660 - Sure, yeah. Hi. - Good to see you. 104 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,338 We were just talking about the golf tournament. 105 00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:23,697 Thank you for allowing him to play in it. 106 00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,499 - Uh-huh. - Yeah, no, it's all right. 107 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,479 Hey, listen, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, 108 00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:30,638 but I... I kinda banged into your car. 109 00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,938 - How did you hit my car? - I backed into it. I'm sorry. 110 00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:34,926 - That's my new Lexus. - I know. I'll pay for it. 111 00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:36,744 How did he hit your car? 112 00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:39,447 - Ron, what did I say when we drove into the driveway? - I know. 113 00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:41,691 "Not enough space. If you park there, someone's gonna hit you." 114 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,451 Yeah, no, it's my... It's my fault. 115 00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:44,728 It's my... I'll pay for the whole thing. 116 00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:46,454 I'm just gonna take a look at it. 117 00:04:46,554 --> 00:04:48,332 - Oh god. Next time when I say... - Ron: I know. 118 00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:51,191 - "Don't park there," listen. - Ron: Okay. 119 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:54,762 - Sammi? Hi. - Oh hey, Larry. 120 00:04:56,364 --> 00:04:58,599 - ( Chuckles ) - shalom. 121 00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:00,167 All right, what the hell is this? 122 00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:02,202 - What? - The yarmulke. 123 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,304 I went through a bit of a midlife crisis 124 00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:07,775 and I rededicated my life to judaism. 125 00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:11,579 - Are you for real? - I had a lot of schpilkas in my life 126 00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:15,182 and I didn't realize it. I went to rabbi Stein. Do you know her? 127 00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:17,351 - No, I don't. - Phenomenal. 128 00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:18,519 I go there every night. 129 00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:21,221 We talk. She's invigorating me. 130 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,866 Is that why you haven't been practicing? 131 00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:24,834 We're depending on you. I hope you've got your swing. 132 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:27,227 - I'm ready. I'm always ready. - Oh really? 133 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,007 When are you gonna come back to earth, huh? 134 00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:32,433 I'm living under a mitzvah. You have none of that. 135 00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,134 ( Softly ) hey, let me ask you something. 136 00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:36,637 What the hell is she doing here? 137 00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,472 Funkhouser: Why shouldn't she be here? 138 00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:41,141 What do you mean? It's a dinner party for adults. 139 00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:42,976 - Hey, dinner's up. - Larry: Hey. 140 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,489 You know what? I have a challah in the car that I'll bring in. 141 00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:48,549 All right. So, you hungry? 142 00:05:48,649 --> 00:05:50,384 Starving. Good, we've got a great meal 143 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:53,387 and some fabulous desserts, which by the way 144 00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,389 I need you to keep me away from no matter what. 145 00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,791 Okay. - Yeah, 'cause I put a lot of time into this. 146 00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:00,428 - I need a dessert referee. - All right, I'm your guy. 147 00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,930 - You promise? - Yeah, I promise. 148 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,608 - Okay, I'm counting on you. - All right. 149 00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:06,800 ( Chanting prayer in Hebrew ) 150 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,074 - Eddie and Juliet: Amen. - Now the wine. 151 00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:15,208 - Larry: What? - Okay. 152 00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:17,010 - ( Praying ) - no way. No way. 153 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,912 That's enough. Come on. No. 154 00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:21,849 - I'm hungry. - Well, you can't drink the wine without the prayer. 155 00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:23,383 Oh, you can't? Really? Watch this. 156 00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:25,453 - ( Eddie laughs ) - mmm. 157 00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:26,930 - I'm with Larry on this. - I guess we're drinking. 158 00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:29,222 To the five-man club championship. 159 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:31,892 - Hear hear. - Now you're thinking. 160 00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,227 - Ron: Absolute, bud. No doubt. - Ahh. 161 00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:36,530 - Eddie: Cheers. - Juliet: Everybody eat up. Come on. 162 00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:37,874 Oh, did you guys hear about this? 163 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,367 Do you know that... The chicken place 164 00:06:40,468 --> 00:06:42,169 in Westwood, the palestinian one? 165 00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:43,813 - Al... what is it called? - Al-abbas best original chicken. 166 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:46,306 Al-abbas best original chicken. 167 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,308 They're opening up a second location 168 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,578 right next door to goldblatt's deli. 169 00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:54,081 - Over my dead body. - I'm sure that wouldn't bother them. 170 00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:56,450 - ( Guys laugh ) - l.O.L., Jeff. 171 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:58,351 - L.o.l. - ( Jeff chuckles ) 172 00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:00,053 Funkhouser: How in the world, 173 00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:03,724 can they dare open up a palestinian chicken restaurant 174 00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:05,659 next to the sacred land of that deli? 175 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,395 Hey, this is America. They can do whatever they want. 176 00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:10,206 - What do you mean? - Ilene: It's just chicken. 177 00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:12,350 I mean, they can legally do it, true. But should they? 178 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,868 - Yeah, they should. Yeah, they should. - Ilene: Exactly. 179 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:17,437 It's insensitive. Why can't they open it a few blocks uptown? 180 00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:19,306 They should move it a mile away. 181 00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:21,241 I hear the chicken's really good, by the way. 182 00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:23,844 - I heard that too. Very good. - Didn't you hear that? 183 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:27,080 - Ron: What does it matter? - I hear it's the best chicken ever. 184 00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:29,500 I tell you what I heard. There's gonna be a rally next week 185 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,418 at this new location they're trying to open. 186 00:07:31,519 --> 00:07:34,097 We should all show up at the rally and try to stop them from opening it. 187 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:36,099 - Funkhouser: Count me in. - Jeff, we're going, okay? 188 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,291 - Whatever you say, darling. - We're going. 189 00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:40,060 Jeff and I are in. We're in on the rally. 190 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,695 I'm gonna make placards and everything. 191 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,831 I'll love to join you, but I'm already committed 192 00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:46,109 to the rally on the other side of goldblatt's at the German place. 193 00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:50,003 - ( All laugh ) - susie: Yeah, okay. 194 00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:52,806 - It's good, yeah? How are the potatoes? - Ron: Mmm, delicious. 195 00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:56,143 - Susie: Delish. - I'd say the potatoes are a little cold. 196 00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:58,411 - ( Ron chuckles ) wow, Larry. - The beef is delicious. 197 00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:00,047 - Larry, what? - Juliet: They're not... 198 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,027 - They're not cold. - What? What's the big deal? 199 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:04,685 - The chutzpah, man. - Do you want me to warm them up for you? 200 00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:07,454 Not at all. Not at all. Hey, I got a good joke. 201 00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:10,357 This is right up your alley, okay, funkman? 202 00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:13,727 A woman goes to a gynecologist. He says, "get up on the table", 203 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,129 put your feet in the stirrups and spread your legs wide." 204 00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:19,432 He goes, "my god, Mrs. Johnson, you've got a big vagina." 205 00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:21,602 - Whoa whoa whoa! Larry. - ( Jeff laughs ) 206 00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:25,005 - What? - Sammi's here, okay? 207 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:26,940 What's the big deal? It's just a little joke. 208 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:30,210 Ahh. - Funkhouser: And what happens? 209 00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,279 Excuse me. 210 00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:38,127 What's the matter with you? Telling a joke like that in front of her. 211 00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:40,754 What are you bringing your daughter to an adult dinner party for? 212 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,023 She's an adult. She can come to an adult dinner party. 213 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,034 She's an adult? If she's an adult, why can't she hear a dirty joke? 214 00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:46,794 - There's a level, okay? - Larry: A level? 215 00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:49,062 Yeah. Oh, there's a level of being an adult? 216 00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:53,066 She's an adult when she turns 13 or learns to make her first latkes. 217 00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:56,236 - ( Laughter ) - l.O.L. 218 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,318 ( Chatting ) 219 00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:17,625 ( Both laugh ) 220 00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:19,226 - No no no. No no no. - Huh-uh-uh. 221 00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:21,595 - I'm just gonna have a bite. - Oh no no no no no. 222 00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,363 - Just a bite. Come on. - You know what? 223 00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:27,267 You told me specifically not to let you have any dessert. 224 00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,402 I appreciate it, Larry, but I changed my mind. 225 00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,171 Ah! Yes yes yes, 226 00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:34,407 - but you said "no matter what," okay? - But you know what? 227 00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:37,410 I'm changing it, and now I'm saying thank you for helping me. 228 00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,980 - I'm gonna have some cake. - No no, but you can't change it. 229 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:43,016 That's why you say "no matter what." This is the what. 230 00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:45,629 But now... - that's why you asked me and not these other people, 231 00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:48,622 - because you knew I wouldn't let you. - What what what? Larry. 232 00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:51,792 - Give me the cake! - She told me not to let her have it, okay? 233 00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:54,194 She said, "no matter what," okay? 234 00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:56,873 Let her have it! It's none of your goddamn business! - ( All shouting ) 235 00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:58,766 Give me the cake, Larry! 236 00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:01,735 What are you doing? What are you... ah! 237 00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,675 Ron: I got an estimate on the car. 238 00:10:07,775 --> 00:10:09,609 - $573? - Yeah. 239 00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,745 Okay, I'll tell you what... Forget the insurance. 240 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:13,757 I'll just write you a check. I'll take care of it. 241 00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:15,816 Well, I think that's one way to do it, 242 00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:18,819 but let me propose an alternative here. 243 00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:21,288 Indulge me for a second. 244 00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:24,658 Last night at that dinner party, you... you really impressed me. 245 00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:27,427 - ( Scoffs ) I did? - Well, you just speak your mind, you know? 246 00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:30,063 You tell people how you're feeling, what you're thinking... 247 00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:32,265 With the potatoes, for example. You know? 248 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,744 - How cold were those potatoes, by the way? - They were freezing. 249 00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:37,971 I couldn't say that. You're the only one who can come out with it, you know? 250 00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,773 And then Jeff and susie with the kid. 251 00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:41,274 What was the kid doing there, right? 252 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:43,552 Why do you bring your daughter to an adult dinner party? 253 00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:45,345 Exactly. You say what everybody's thinking. 254 00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:48,849 You just come out with it. It's impressive, you know? 255 00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:51,318 Well, you know, thank you. 256 00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:53,196 So I don't know if you noticed this last night, 257 00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,588 but my wife ilene, she says "I.O.L." 258 00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:57,369 I don't know if you picked up on that that. 259 00:10:57,424 --> 00:11:00,694 - Oh, yes, I certainly did pick up on that. - Yeah? 260 00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:04,297 I mean, why would you say "I.O.L." Instead of just laughing at something? 261 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,943 - Well, just tell her to stop saying it. - I can't tell her that. 262 00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:09,069 She'll kill me. Are you kidding? 263 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,969 We'll get into a fight, it'll last for months. 264 00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:13,238 - She's a tough customer. - Yes she... you noticed that? 265 00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:15,275 She's like... she's like susie's twin sister. 266 00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,778 I know. I'd just like to avoid the whole thing, 267 00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:19,546 and I was just wondering, maybe... 268 00:11:19,646 --> 00:11:22,249 You could say it to her, you know? 269 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:25,152 You know? You just put it out there, 'cause that's what you do. 270 00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:27,354 And I'll tell you what. You do that for me, 271 00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,956 you see this estimate? 272 00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:31,024 ( Mimics rip ) gone. I will tear it up. 273 00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:33,302 - I will pay for it myself. - Let me see if I've got this right. 274 00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:35,428 - Yeah. - I tell her to stop saying "I.O.L."... 275 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,631 - Yes, it's annoying. Gone. - And you tear up the bill. 276 00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:40,267 - Come on, please. Deal. - Yeah? 277 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,736 - Yeah, you've got it. - It's a deal. Thank you so much. 278 00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:44,814 This is... oh, you've taken a load off my shoulders, 279 00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:46,038 - let me tell you. - Hi, Larry. 280 00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:47,674 - Larry: Hey. - Hi, honey. 281 00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,218 Honey, can you get the rest of the bags? 282 00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,945 - Yeah yeah yeah, I'll go get 'em. - Larry: Okay. 283 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:55,482 God, that store was so crowded. 284 00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:58,752 - Crowded? - How are you? 285 00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:01,688 - Not bad. - Good. 286 00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:03,490 I noticed you were all alone at the party. 287 00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:06,760 - Oh, you did notice that? - Yeah. Are you dating? 288 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,896 - No. No. - Why not? 289 00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:11,198 ( Scoffs ) you know what? 290 00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:13,076 A date is an experience you have with another person 291 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:16,303 - that makes you appreciate being alone. - L.O.L. 292 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,605 L.o.l. 293 00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:20,607 You... you like saying that, don't you? 294 00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:22,342 It's cute, right? 295 00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,411 No. Not... not really. 296 00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:27,214 - What do you mean? - I mean, if you were gonna laugh out loud, 297 00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:29,682 why aren't you laughing out loud? Why say it? 298 00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:31,451 - Why not just laugh? - I am laughing. 299 00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:33,954 That's what that is. It's me... that's laughing. 300 00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:36,123 No, you're saying "I.O.L." You're verbal texting. 301 00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:40,127 Excuse me, is this your little idea? 302 00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:44,464 Did my pissant husband tell you to do this? 303 00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:45,833 - No. - Yes, he did. 304 00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:47,567 - Larry: No, he did not. - Yes, he did. 305 00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,436 - He didn't! - No, you're in my house, 306 00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:52,105 my kitchen, telling me how I'm supposed to respond to your jokes? 307 00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,017 - Can you believe it? I left the gate open. - Ron, are you fucking 308 00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:55,318 - out of your mind? - What are you talking about? 309 00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:57,177 Did you tell him to come over to me 310 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,379 and tell me how I should stop saying "I.O.L."? 311 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,590 Did I tell Larry that? Of course I wouldn't tell Larry that. 312 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,251 - Yes. Oh yes, you would. - No no no, he's the guy who does this. 313 00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:06,486 Ilene: And you care how I express myself? 314 00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:10,057 - I think the way you express yourself is like a child. - That's bullshit. 315 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,526 He said he'd forget about the money for the car, 316 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,063 which is $573, 317 00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:18,531 if I tell her to stop saying "I.O.L." 318 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,200 You know, in most countries, 319 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,135 you could get somebody killed for $573. 320 00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:24,571 I know. By the way, I was this close 321 00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:26,952 - to telling her the other night. - You know what you are? 322 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,943 - You're a social assassin. - Jesus. 323 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:33,580 - I guess I am, in a way. - Yeah. How'd it go? 324 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:37,184 Not too good. As soon as I told her, she knew Ron had put me up to it, 325 00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:40,153 she started screaming at him and I just... I left. 326 00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:42,455 - So you bungled the hit. - Well, I didn't bungle it. 327 00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,433 - I did what I was supposed to do. - No no, you bungled the hit. 328 00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:46,493 - Why are you saying that? - She knew. 329 00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,872 - That's not my fault. - It is. Your performance wasn't good enough. 330 00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:50,606 What do you know about social assassination? 331 00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:52,870 - Nothing! - I'm the one who named you a social assassin! 332 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:55,211 And we don't want you here at the agency anymore. - ( Both laugh ) 333 00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:56,703 - Okay. - ( car approaches ) 334 00:13:56,803 --> 00:13:58,214 - Jeff: All right, finally. - There he is. 335 00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:01,108 I cannot believe we talked him into coming here. 336 00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:04,311 - He's gonna love it. He's gonna love it. - Yeah, huh. 337 00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:07,080 Shalom. You know, I thought all last night, 338 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,849 if rabin can break bread with arafat, 339 00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:13,586 I can have chicken at this anti-semitic shithole. 340 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,423 Okay, that's just not gonna work. 341 00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,034 - Yeah, that's no good. - What's not gonna work? 342 00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:19,226 - The yarmulke. - Yeah. 343 00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,461 I can't go in wearing this yarmulke? 344 00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,072 No. - You're shoving it in their faces. 345 00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:24,456 - Let's go in. - No no no no no no. 346 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,366 - It's far too cocky a move. - Yeah. Yeah. 347 00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,135 What is this, the raid on Entebbe? 348 00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:30,303 - Let's just kind of walk in casually. - What? 349 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:33,049 - Proud Jews wear yarmulkes. - Yeah. Be proud here in the parking lot. 350 00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:35,118 - Stop it. Just take it off. - You don't need to be proud in there. 351 00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:36,886 - Let's just go in and sit down. - It's a cocky move. 352 00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:38,221 - Take it off. Take it off. - Come on. 353 00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:39,722 - I'm not doing anything... - Take it off. 354 00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:41,457 - Don't you dare go after... - Huh? Come on, take it... 355 00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:44,451 Don't you reach for that. Don't you ever touch that. 356 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,254 - No, don't ever grab my yarmulke. - ( Grunting ) 357 00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:50,223 Give it to me! Don't ever grab my yarmulke, ever. 358 00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:53,860 How dare you?! Don't ever touch my yarmulke. 359 00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:56,429 - Do you understand? - What the hell is that? 360 00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:59,332 - We're gonna go eat without you. - Good. Who needs you? 361 00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:02,335 - Get... get out of here! - ( Chring ) 362 00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:13,213 Oh please. Thank you. Thank you. 363 00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:17,150 Oh. Well, hello. 364 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:20,653 - You're a Jew, yes? - Yes, I am a Jew. 365 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:24,157 A big Jew. Big. 366 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:28,128 A big Jew and you still told him to take off his Jew cap. 367 00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:30,964 - Yes, I did. - Thank you, my friend. 368 00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:34,801 - What's your name? - Labe. 369 00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:37,104 - Labe. - Son of nat. 370 00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:40,307 - Son of nat. - My friends call me Larry. 371 00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:43,743 - I like you. - What's not to like? 372 00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:46,646 - Uh, you're a Jew. - Eh. 373 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:49,349 My name is shara. 374 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,552 - Shara. - Call me. 375 00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,362 Let's get some chicken. 376 00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,601 Mmm. 377 00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:11,638 - How happy are you right now? - I'm not gonna have dinner tonight. 378 00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:14,574 It'll pale in comparison. How can you even have meals after this? 379 00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:17,244 - Oh my god. - What? 380 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:20,047 Larry: Eddie and ilene just walked in. 381 00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:23,750 Jeff: Eddie and ilene? He's cheating on Juliet? 382 00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:27,354 - Holy shit. - Oh my god! 383 00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:28,988 All right, listen. 384 00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,324 Juliet is great friends with susie. 385 00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:32,935 If he's cheating on Juliet, I can't be here to see it. 386 00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:34,294 - What? - I am out of here. 387 00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:36,194 - What the hell am I gonna do? - I don't know. 388 00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:37,740 - You're taking the chicken? - Yes, of course. 389 00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,366 What, I'm gonna leave it? 390 00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:54,081 - Hey. - Hey. Hi. 391 00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:57,217 ( Mimics Humphrey bogart ) out of all the hummus joints in all the world, 392 00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,352 - you had to walk into mine. - ( Both laugh ) 393 00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,821 It's great to see you. And let me just say 394 00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:04,267 I'm sorry about the brownie thing the other night with Juliet. 395 00:17:04,291 --> 00:17:07,527 - No hard feelings. - You know, she did say 396 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,662 - "no matter what." - Yeah yeah yeah, I... 397 00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:11,098 All right, look, 398 00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:13,633 don't say anything about this, all right? 399 00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:15,644 ( Chuckles ) - no, don't... don't say anything about this. 400 00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:17,949 - Don't... don't worry. I won't say anything. - All right? 401 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:21,374 Because you know what? The only reason we're here together now 402 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:24,311 is because she had a big fight with Ron, okay? 403 00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,546 So she reached out as a friend. 404 00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:30,617 You know, we always liked each other and now we like each other a little more. 405 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,319 Maybe a lot more. 406 00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:35,222 So the two of you got together because of this argument? 407 00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:37,200 Well, there's always been a lot of tension there, 408 00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:39,802 but let's just say this was the straw that broke the camel's back. 409 00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:43,163 - I guess I shouldn't say that here. - What was the argument about? 410 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,040 He doesn't like the way she keeps saying "I.O.L." 411 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,534 It's a wonderful thing to say. I love when she says "I.O.L." 412 00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:49,745 That's one of the reasons we're together. I think it's cool, it's funny. 413 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,214 I think if you didn't want to sleep with her, 414 00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:52,881 you wouldn't be so tolerant of that "I.O.L." 415 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:56,243 Well, that goes without saying, but look, if Ron finds out, 416 00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:58,354 this could be very awkward. We won't be able to play 417 00:17:58,378 --> 00:17:59,888 on the same team and then we won't win the tournament. 418 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,748 If anyone quits, we're disqualified. 419 00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:04,026 - Okay, don't worry about it. I'm not gonna say a word. - All right. 420 00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:05,985 - Okay. - Promise. 421 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,720 In other words, no matter what? 422 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:10,056 - Huh? - No matter what. 423 00:18:10,157 --> 00:18:12,459 By the way, your lunch is on me. 424 00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:14,861 - I already paid for it. - Even better. 425 00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:20,900 Larry: So then he tells me the only reason 426 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,669 that they're having this affair 427 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,505 was because of the "I.O.L." Thing. I drove her to it. 428 00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:28,208 Well, I'm sure there was other things that drove her to it too. 429 00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,910 No, I was the straw that broke the camel's back. 430 00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:34,046 - All marriages have straws. - Right, the camel's carrying a lot of straw. 431 00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:37,250 - That's what a marriage is. - "L.O.L." Was the final straw. 432 00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:39,519 - "L.o.l." was the final straw, yes. - Wow. 433 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:42,755 I've gotta be careful with this whole social-assassination thing. 434 00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:45,525 - I'm not taking any more requests. - Let me tell you something. 435 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:48,027 If Ron finds out about Eddie and ilene, 436 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,929 - tournament over. Done. - No golf. 437 00:18:50,029 --> 00:18:52,074 - Ron's not gonna play on this team... - Jeff: Not a chance. 438 00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:54,734 - If he's having an affair with his wife. - Jeff: No way. 439 00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:57,036 Hey, nice pillow. 440 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,872 - Yeah, um... - You look like blofeld. 441 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:02,442 I look like I've got a kitty 442 00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:04,844 and we're making evil plans. 443 00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:07,314 Here, just put it on your lap. 444 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,784 ( Car alarm chirps ) 445 00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:15,388 Larry, there's something I want to talk to you about. 446 00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:18,124 I think I know what it is. I'm sorry about the joke. 447 00:19:18,225 --> 00:19:20,569 - It's obviously not... - I... I didn't really care about the joke. 448 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:22,362 That's not why I got up and left. 449 00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:24,273 Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. 450 00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:26,499 I don't know if you've noticed or not, 451 00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:29,035 every time after my mom takes a sip of something, 452 00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:31,238 she makes this really obnoxious sound. 453 00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:33,573 She smacks her lips together and does this little 454 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:34,874 "ahh" thing. 455 00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:36,243 - Huh. - Have you noticed that? 456 00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:37,810 - I have noticed, yeah. - It's awful. 457 00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:39,879 - "Ahh." right? Isn't that it? - It's horrible. 458 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:42,849 It's humiliating. All of my friends make fun of me in the morning 459 00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:46,319 when she drops me off. I just... I can't take it anymore. 460 00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:48,499 Someone has to tell her to stop and it has to be you, 461 00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,266 because you're the only one who can stand up to her. 462 00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:51,791 Look, I'm flattered, kid, 463 00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:54,927 that you would consider me for such a delicate assignment, 464 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:57,029 but I have to tell you I'm... 465 00:19:57,129 --> 00:19:59,366 ( tisks ) I'm out of that business. 466 00:19:59,466 --> 00:20:02,235 - Ask your father, he'll do it. - My dad is spineless. 467 00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:04,012 He can't stand up to her. He's scared of her. 468 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,872 You're the only one who can do it. 469 00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:08,074 As tempting as it is, kid, 470 00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:11,210 I'm not your man. 471 00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,380 But you... but you... 472 00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:23,790 So I guess you won't be playing golf on Saturday. 473 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,568 - What are you talking about? - I couldn't help 474 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,603 but overhear some of the conversation you were having 475 00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:32,332 with my dad. And it seems if Ron were to find out about his wife, 476 00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:35,502 then your little golf game would be called off. 477 00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:39,906 - You would do that? - Try me. 478 00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,411 - All right. - So you're gonna talk to my mom? 479 00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:47,547 - I'll talk to your mom. - Good. 480 00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:51,484 Boy, you really are your mother's daughter, aren't you? 481 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:55,355 Yeah, now get the fuck out of my driveway, you bald prick. 482 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:02,061 Fuck me, you fucking Jew! 483 00:21:02,161 --> 00:21:03,663 - ( Moaning ) - filthy Jew. 484 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,998 - Filthy Jew. - Filthy fucking Jew! 485 00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:08,601 You zionist pig. You occupying fuck. 486 00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:11,438 - Occupy this. Yeah. - Yeah, I'm an occupier. I'm an occupier. 487 00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:14,206 I'm going to fuck the Jew out of you. 488 00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:16,242 - Yeah. - Well, that's not so easy. 489 00:21:16,343 --> 00:21:19,346 You want to fuck me like Israel fucked my country? 490 00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:23,416 - Show me what you've got! - This reminds me of something Theodor herzl once said. 491 00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:26,285 - Shalom, l.D. - ( Shara moaning ) 492 00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:32,492 Yeah, take it, Jew. Take it, Jew. 493 00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:33,593 Oh! 494 00:21:33,693 --> 00:21:36,329 Fuck me, you Jew bastard! 495 00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:40,066 Fuck me like Israel fucks my people! 496 00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:41,768 Show me the promised land, huh? 497 00:21:41,868 --> 00:21:43,736 Labe, son of nat. 498 00:21:43,836 --> 00:21:46,105 Keep my father out of it, will you? 499 00:21:46,205 --> 00:21:49,976 - You circumcised fuck. - Oh! Oh! 500 00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:52,712 Larry: "we seek him here, we seek him there", 501 00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:55,382 those frenchies seek him everywhere, 502 00:21:55,482 --> 00:21:59,085 is he in heaven, is he in hell? 503 00:21:59,185 --> 00:22:04,090 "That damned elusive pimpernel." 504 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:09,161 Funkman. Look who's here. 505 00:22:09,261 --> 00:22:11,998 Well well. 506 00:22:12,098 --> 00:22:15,768 Martin, shara. 507 00:22:15,868 --> 00:22:19,539 Shara, Martin. 508 00:22:22,509 --> 00:22:24,343 All right then. Shall we? 509 00:22:24,444 --> 00:22:26,178 ( Door opens ) 510 00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:28,114 Good night. 511 00:22:35,321 --> 00:22:38,157 - Problem? - "fuck me, Jew bastard"? 512 00:22:38,257 --> 00:22:40,727 Yeah, small price to pay 513 00:22:40,827 --> 00:22:44,464 for the best sex I've ever had anywhere. 514 00:22:44,564 --> 00:22:46,032 This woman is amazing. 515 00:22:46,132 --> 00:22:47,600 When did you have your orgasm? 516 00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:49,802 When she said she'd fuck the Jew out of you? 517 00:22:49,902 --> 00:22:52,472 Let me tell you something. The penis doesn't care 518 00:22:52,572 --> 00:22:54,874 about race, creed and color. 519 00:22:54,974 --> 00:22:57,243 The penis wants to get to his homeland. 520 00:22:57,343 --> 00:22:58,645 It wants to go home. 521 00:22:58,745 --> 00:23:01,047 I came over here for another reason. 522 00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:04,216 Rabbi Stein said that I can't play 523 00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:08,521 in the golf tournament Saturday because I have to honor the sabbath. 524 00:23:08,621 --> 00:23:09,856 You're koufaxing us? 525 00:23:09,956 --> 00:23:12,258 Well, if you're saying that your best player 526 00:23:12,358 --> 00:23:15,628 is unable to play because it's the sabbath, yes, I'm koufaxing you. 527 00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:17,530 So you're gonna have to get someone else. 528 00:23:17,630 --> 00:23:19,666 The tournament won't let us get anybody else, 529 00:23:19,766 --> 00:23:22,469 and if you don't play, we all drop out. It's over for us. 530 00:23:22,569 --> 00:23:26,138 I'm following her lead. She told me what I have to do. 531 00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:29,108 - I can't play. - What if I talked to the rabbi? 532 00:23:29,208 --> 00:23:31,353 I'd love you to. She's in the valley off of brookhurst. 533 00:23:31,377 --> 00:23:34,113 And if she gives the okay, would you play? 534 00:23:34,213 --> 00:23:36,148 I'll be there. 535 00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:39,752 Our friendship is about that much now. 536 00:23:39,852 --> 00:23:42,097 I'll tell you what! If you you don't play in that golf tournament, 537 00:23:42,121 --> 00:23:45,692 - it's over! How about that?! - Why don't you go wrap your head in a towel? 538 00:23:45,792 --> 00:23:47,293 You're not even a man anymore! 539 00:23:47,393 --> 00:23:50,930 Mommy rabbi says don't play, little boy! 540 00:23:51,030 --> 00:23:52,541 Don't you tell me to get out of your... 541 00:23:52,565 --> 00:23:55,034 Hey, you dropped your yarmulke! 542 00:23:55,134 --> 00:23:57,637 Oh my god! Yarmulke alert! 543 00:23:57,737 --> 00:24:02,074 Oh! Sirens! Yarmulke on the floor! Oh! 544 00:24:14,220 --> 00:24:17,189 ( Slurps ) mmm. 545 00:24:20,159 --> 00:24:23,496 - Can I have the weinstein file? - Oh, I'll get it for you. 546 00:24:23,596 --> 00:24:25,632 And Larry David's here. 547 00:24:25,732 --> 00:24:28,835 - Come on in. - Oh, well, I came a little early. 548 00:24:28,935 --> 00:24:30,746 - I was gonna finish my lunch. - Well, that's all right. 549 00:24:30,770 --> 00:24:33,506 - You can finish in my office. - Okay. 550 00:24:35,407 --> 00:24:36,543 Is that al-abbas chicken? 551 00:24:36,643 --> 00:24:40,079 Oh. Yeah. Fantastic. 552 00:24:43,082 --> 00:24:46,418 - That looks delicious. - Yeah. You don't mind? 553 00:24:46,519 --> 00:24:49,989 - You're sure you don't mind? Huh? - No. No no, finish your lunch. 554 00:24:50,089 --> 00:24:54,226 You know, I know we have our problems with these people 555 00:24:54,326 --> 00:24:58,430 but, man, oh man, they know what they're doing chickenwise. 556 00:24:58,531 --> 00:24:59,842 Well, keep that away from me no matter what. 557 00:24:59,866 --> 00:25:03,002 - ( Chuckles ) - okay. 558 00:25:10,910 --> 00:25:12,945 - Give it to me! - You said, "no matter what"! 559 00:25:13,045 --> 00:25:16,082 - Give me that! Give me that! - Rabbi! No, let go! 560 00:25:19,185 --> 00:25:21,065 - We are playing so great. - I'm having a blast. 561 00:25:21,153 --> 00:25:22,998 - Are you? Huh? - I don't think I've ever played better. 562 00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:26,025 - You haven't missed a fairway. - Hey, I'm tired of asking. 563 00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:27,960 How did you get the rabbi to let me play? 564 00:25:28,060 --> 00:25:30,997 - I can't tell you. - No, please tell me. 565 00:25:31,097 --> 00:25:35,334 All right, let's just say I had something she really wanted. 566 00:25:35,434 --> 00:25:37,036 You made a trade with the rabbi? 567 00:25:37,136 --> 00:25:39,572 - Yeah, I made a trade. - Well, I'm glad you did. 568 00:25:39,672 --> 00:25:41,908 Hey, I just found out the klein team blew up. 569 00:25:42,008 --> 00:25:43,776 We're four strokes ahead after this hole. 570 00:25:43,876 --> 00:25:45,588 All we have to do is finish on 18 and we win. 571 00:25:45,612 --> 00:25:47,980 - It's a lock. - Fantastic! 572 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,650 - It's a lock. - We're gonna win a tournament. 573 00:25:50,750 --> 00:25:52,051 We're gonna win a tournament. 574 00:25:52,151 --> 00:25:54,587 - Come on, Larry. - Jeff: Let's go, daddy-o. 575 00:25:54,687 --> 00:25:56,999 - Funkhouser: No pressure, l.D. All we need is a two-putt. - Ron: Come on, Larry. 576 00:25:57,023 --> 00:25:59,191 Jeff. Funkhouser: Let's get to 18. 577 00:26:00,993 --> 00:26:03,596 Okay. Funkhouser: Inside left, l.D. 578 00:26:03,696 --> 00:26:05,665 - Relax. - Ron: Take it. 579 00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:11,337 Ahh. 580 00:26:19,946 --> 00:26:21,556 - Hey, what are you doing? - What are you doing? 581 00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:23,415 - One second, one second, one second. - Larry. 582 00:26:23,515 --> 00:26:25,718 - Funkhouser: What's going on? - What? 583 00:26:25,818 --> 00:26:27,754 I gotta tell you something. You know, 584 00:26:27,854 --> 00:26:30,089 every time you take a sip... 585 00:26:30,189 --> 00:26:32,725 Yeah? -...You make this noise... "ahh." 586 00:26:32,825 --> 00:26:36,062 - I'm enjoying it. - Eh. It's kinda annoying. 587 00:26:36,162 --> 00:26:38,406 - Why are you saying this to me? - What are you talking about? 588 00:26:38,430 --> 00:26:40,475 - Jeff didn't put you up to this? - Why are you saying that? 589 00:26:40,499 --> 00:26:42,510 Of course not. - 'Cause you're not just gonna interrupt your shot 590 00:26:42,534 --> 00:26:45,147 and come over and say something to me unless Jeff put you up to it. 591 00:26:45,171 --> 00:26:47,349 - No, he didn't put em up to it. - Jeff, did you say something? 592 00:26:47,373 --> 00:26:49,417 - I said nothing. - Susie: Every little thing I do annoy... 593 00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:51,481 - Jeff: Oh, stop it. - What about when you're eating 594 00:26:51,510 --> 00:26:53,455 - and you're shoveling your fat fucking face? - I'm hungry! 595 00:26:53,479 --> 00:26:55,123 - Do I ever say a word? - What do you want from me? 596 00:26:55,147 --> 00:26:56,391 You know what? Fuck you, don't come home tonight. 597 00:26:56,415 --> 00:26:57,784 - Don't come home? - Mom! 598 00:26:57,884 --> 00:26:59,561 - I'm sick of your bullshit! - Mom, mom. Mom, no. 599 00:26:59,585 --> 00:27:02,689 He didn't say it. It was me. I told Larry to tell you. 600 00:27:02,789 --> 00:27:04,924 You told... well, why would he say something? 601 00:27:05,024 --> 00:27:07,235 I don't believe you. - 'Cause I told him if he didn't tell you 602 00:27:07,259 --> 00:27:10,062 then I'd say something about Eddie and ilene having an affair. 603 00:27:10,162 --> 00:27:12,865 What?! Eddie and ilene are having an affair?! - ( Murmuring ) 604 00:27:12,965 --> 00:27:16,135 - You're fucking my husband?! - Shit. 605 00:27:16,235 --> 00:27:18,805 What? Ilene, are you serious? This is fucking ridiculous! 606 00:27:18,905 --> 00:27:21,340 This is how you treat a friend?! Are you fucking kidding me?! 607 00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:24,410 L.o.l., honey! L.O.L.! Fuck you! You know what? Fuck this whole thing! 608 00:27:24,510 --> 00:27:26,679 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry! - What? 609 00:27:26,779 --> 00:27:29,782 - I'm so sorry, honey! - Larry: Where you going? 610 00:27:29,882 --> 00:27:31,818 - We've got one hole left! - Ron: Fuck this game! 611 00:27:31,918 --> 00:27:35,021 - It's a lock! One hole! - Honey, wait! Come back, come back! 612 00:27:35,121 --> 00:27:37,489 Larry: Come back! Where you going?! 613 00:27:37,589 --> 00:27:39,591 One more hole! 614 00:27:39,692 --> 00:27:41,961 ( Cars honking ) 615 00:27:46,699 --> 00:27:49,802 - What's going on? - We're rerouting traffic for a protest rally... 616 00:27:49,902 --> 00:27:52,872 Some palestinian chicken place opening up next to a deli. 617 00:27:52,972 --> 00:27:55,107 Can you move forward, please? 618 00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:58,677 ( All yelling ) 619 00:28:21,801 --> 00:28:23,569 Larry! Come! Join us over here! 620 00:28:23,669 --> 00:28:24,971 Come with us. You're a Jew. 621 00:28:25,071 --> 00:28:27,573 No, Larry. Come to this side and I'm yours. 622 00:28:27,673 --> 00:28:29,341 Larry, I'm yours whenever you want. 623 00:28:29,441 --> 00:28:32,344 - Come over here. - Larry, you belong with us. 624 00:28:32,444 --> 00:28:34,847 Come! What's the matter? There's no decision. 625 00:28:34,947 --> 00:28:37,850 - Get over here! - Larry, I have a sister. 626 00:28:37,950 --> 00:28:40,987 You, me and Jasmine... The three of us. 627 00:28:41,087 --> 00:28:43,198 All right, that's enough! Just get the fuck over here! 628 00:28:43,222 --> 00:28:44,632 - Just get the fuck over here. Stop being an idiot. - Shara: Larry. 629 00:28:44,656 --> 00:28:45,868 - Larry, come over here. - Susie: Larry! 630 00:28:45,892 --> 00:28:47,393 - Don't be a dick. - Get over here! 631 00:28:47,493 --> 00:28:49,104 - Shara: Don't listen to them! - Don't be a dick. 632 00:28:49,128 --> 00:28:52,231 - Get over here! - Shara: Anything you want. 633 00:28:52,331 --> 00:28:54,600 - Larry, anything you want. - Funkhouser: Get over here. 634 00:28:54,700 --> 00:28:57,036 ( Music playing )