1
00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:18,335
If Sammi doesn't want to take
clarinet anymore, she doesn't want to.

2
00:00:18,377 --> 00:00:20,838
- I don't wanna push her.
- You're the one who pushed it, not me.

3
00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:23,132
- God, where's the tissues?
- I don't know.

4
00:00:23,173 --> 00:00:25,217
I'm having an allergy attack.

5
00:00:28,303 --> 00:00:29,638
What is this?

6
00:00:32,307 --> 00:00:35,310
What is this, Jeff?
Whose panties are these?

7
00:00:35,352 --> 00:00:37,479
- Uh...
- What the fuck is this?

8
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:40,232
It's your car.
What are these doing in there?

9
00:00:40,899 --> 00:00:42,151
All right, pull the fuck over.

10
00:00:42,192 --> 00:00:43,402
Pull over.

11
00:00:47,573 --> 00:00:49,741
I really hate
shopping for pants.

12
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:53,537
- What's worse than trying on pants?
- Exactly.

13
00:00:53,579 --> 00:00:55,998
I think those are gonna
look great once they're hemmed.

14
00:00:56,165 --> 00:00:58,041
- How do they feel?
- Good.

15
00:00:58,125 --> 00:00:59,418
All right.

16
00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:03,172
What the hell's going...
what's... what's this?

17
00:01:03,213 --> 00:01:05,716
It's the fire alarm.
Yeah, we need to leave.

18
00:01:05,757 --> 00:01:07,217
But I left my pants
in the dressing room.

19
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:08,594
Jesus.

20
00:01:13,765 --> 00:01:16,894
Hey, what's going on?

21
00:01:17,019 --> 00:01:18,228
Fire alarm.

22
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,355
- That's it?
- Yeah, gotta be thorough.

23
00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:24,234
- Is that your name?
- Yeah.

24
00:01:24,359 --> 00:01:25,694
- Krupke?
- Mm-hmm.

25
00:01:25,777 --> 00:01:27,613
- Really?
- Yeah, Matt Krupke.

26
00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:31,158
- You're Officer Krupke.
- I am.

27
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:32,910
Familiar with "West Side Story"?

28
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:34,870
- No, sir.
- What?

29
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:38,749
There's a character in "West Side Story"
named Officer Krupke.

30
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:41,084
- Okay.
- You're Officer Krupke.

31
00:01:41,210 --> 00:01:43,253
- You never heard the song?
- No, sir.

32
00:01:43,419 --> 00:01:45,672
♪ Oh, Officer Krupke, ♪
♪ what are we to do? ♪

33
00:01:45,756 --> 00:01:48,175
♪ Gee, Officer Krupke, ♪
♪ Krup you ♪

34
00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:50,219
- You never heard that?
- No.

35
00:01:50,302 --> 00:01:51,470
- No?
- No.

36
00:01:51,553 --> 00:01:53,096
By the way, they wanted
to say "fuck you,"

37
00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:54,848
but in the '50s on Broadway,

38
00:01:54,973 --> 00:01:56,725
Sondheim, he couldn't
write "fuck you."

39
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,394
So "krup you" is
a substitute for "fuck you."

40
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,730
- Mmm.
- Has anybody ever said "krup you"?

41
00:02:01,813 --> 00:02:03,190
- No.
- Huh.

42
00:02:03,273 --> 00:02:05,359
Some guy told me
to go fuck my face once.

43
00:02:06,401 --> 00:02:07,694
He went to jail.

44
00:02:08,654 --> 00:02:09,655
Okay.

45
00:02:09,947 --> 00:02:11,031
How much longer?

46
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,784
- An hour, maybe two.
- Really?

47
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,285
If tech wants to get in there,
it could be two hours.

48
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:17,120
Are you kidding?
I'm not gonna wait that long.

49
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:20,082
- Okay, thank you.
- Thank you.

50
00:02:43,438 --> 00:02:45,065
Hold on, hold on.

51
00:02:45,190 --> 00:02:46,858
Come here.
Come here, shh.

52
00:02:47,985 --> 00:02:49,444
I got in a lot
of trouble with Susie.

53
00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,280
I need your help so bad.

54
00:02:52,489 --> 00:02:54,616
She found a pair of panties

55
00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:56,349
in my glove compartment.

56
00:02:56,375 --> 00:02:58,287
Oy vey ist mir.
Are you kidding me?

57
00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,622
- No, I am not kidding you.
- How the hell did you do that?

58
00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:03,083
I forget they were
even in there. I forgot...

59
00:03:03,208 --> 00:03:04,585
- but here's where I need your help.
- Man, oh man.

60
00:03:04,710 --> 00:03:06,670
I told her they were
your panties.

61
00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:11,717
- So you're good?
- What do you mean they're my panties?

62
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,427
No no, I told her that
they're your panties,

63
00:03:13,510 --> 00:03:15,846
that you like wearing
women's panties.

64
00:03:18,307 --> 00:03:20,350
- What?
- Yeah, that's what I told her.

65
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,352
I told her you like
wearing women's panties.

66
00:03:22,477 --> 00:03:24,229
Where the fuck did you come up
with that? What does that mean?

67
00:03:24,354 --> 00:03:25,772
I think it's pretty brilliant, actually.

68
00:03:25,856 --> 00:03:27,858
You're gonna cover
for me, right?

69
00:03:27,983 --> 00:03:29,735
Please please please?
You're gonna cover for me?

70
00:03:29,818 --> 00:03:31,320
They're your panties, right?

71
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:33,780
I-I can't...
I can't go in there.

72
00:03:33,864 --> 00:03:35,616
- Why not?
- I'm embarrassed.

73
00:03:35,741 --> 00:03:37,826
- Nothing to be embarrassed about.
- I've got panties on.

74
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:40,329
- Only she knows.
- How am I supposed to act now?

75
00:03:40,412 --> 00:03:42,748
Normal. Panties up here, not...

76
00:03:42,873 --> 00:03:43,915
you don't have
to really wear them.

77
00:03:43,999 --> 00:03:45,626
You just know you've got them on

78
00:03:45,709 --> 00:03:47,711
and maybe you're a little
more comfortable than normal.

79
00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:51,465
A little more at ease.
Maybe a little... little kinder.

80
00:03:51,757 --> 00:03:53,592
- Help me, please.
- This is really odd.

81
00:03:53,717 --> 00:03:56,511
- But we're pals. I would do it for you.
- This is very odd.

82
00:03:56,595 --> 00:03:58,347
Odd yet brilliant.

83
00:03:58,430 --> 00:04:00,682
Completely and utterly brilliant.

84
00:04:00,766 --> 00:04:02,434
My best one ever maybe.

85
00:04:04,686 --> 00:04:06,897
- All right.
- You're a friend.

86
00:04:07,022 --> 00:04:08,982
You're a fucking friend.

87
00:04:09,107 --> 00:04:11,401
Thank you.
Oh, thank you. Come on.

88
00:04:12,778 --> 00:04:13,945
God.

89
00:04:14,571 --> 00:04:16,490
Yeah, I bet, exactly.

90
00:04:16,615 --> 00:04:20,243
Well, is the architecture
not happening right now?

91
00:04:20,369 --> 00:04:22,371
- Hey, Larry.
- Oh, hey, Jeff.

92
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:25,791
- Hi, hey.
- Hello hello hello.

93
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:27,668
Hey, Virginia, hi.

94
00:04:27,918 --> 00:04:30,003
- Dennis, hello.
- It's nice to see you. It's a pleasure.

95
00:04:30,087 --> 00:04:32,714
- How's the golf game?
- Good good, yeah.

96
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,634
Larry, you have
a security tag on your pants.

97
00:04:35,717 --> 00:04:37,260
Oh, yeah.

98
00:04:37,386 --> 00:04:38,762
That's weird. Why?

99
00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:41,008
Well, Virginia, if you must know,

100
00:04:41,264 --> 00:04:44,267
I was at Banana Republic
and a fire alarm went off.

101
00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:45,936
- Uh-huh.
- And I was just waiting

102
00:04:46,061 --> 00:04:49,439
and the store didn't open back up,
so I just thought I'd take off.

103
00:04:49,564 --> 00:04:50,816
But you know what was amazing,

104
00:04:50,941 --> 00:04:52,401
when I was outside the store,

105
00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:55,362
I was talking to an officer

106
00:04:55,487 --> 00:04:56,738
and his name was Krupke.

107
00:04:56,822 --> 00:04:59,282
- Uh-huh.
- And he'd never heard

108
00:04:59,491 --> 00:05:01,368
of the character
from "West Side Story."

109
00:05:01,451 --> 00:05:03,161
- Isn't that unbelievable?
- Unbelievable.

110
00:05:03,245 --> 00:05:05,204
Yeah, I had to
sing the song for him.

111
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,789
♪ We're disturbed, we're disturbed ♪

112
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,259
♪ We're the most disturbed ♪

113
00:05:08,270 --> 00:05:09,557
♪ Like we're psychologic'ly-- ♪

114
00:05:09,582 --> 00:05:11,503
All right, all right.
Enough enough.

115
00:05:11,837 --> 00:05:13,713
I know all the lyrics
from "West Side Story."

116
00:05:13,797 --> 00:05:15,966
- Really? Fascinating.
- Yeah.

117
00:05:16,258 --> 00:05:18,301
- Amazing.
- I know the whole thing. It's interesting.

118
00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:20,220
Sometimes you think
you know somebody,

119
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,264
but you really don't
know them at all.

120
00:05:23,265 --> 00:05:26,768
Hey, Larry, I'm auditioning
for the reunion show,

121
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,687
for the "Seinfeld"
reunion show tomorrow

122
00:05:28,770 --> 00:05:30,355
for the part
of George's ex-wife.

123
00:05:31,661 --> 00:05:32,624
She'd be great.

124
00:05:32,649 --> 00:05:35,569
- Don't you think she'd be great?
- I really hope I get it.

125
00:05:35,986 --> 00:05:37,320
Huh, okay.

126
00:05:37,419 --> 00:05:39,504
So before Larry walked in,

127
00:05:39,529 --> 00:05:40,891
you were telling me
the story of how you met.

128
00:05:40,916 --> 00:05:42,064
Go ahead. I wanna hear.

129
00:05:42,089 --> 00:05:43,593
- It was great.
- All right, okay.

130
00:05:43,618 --> 00:05:45,620
- I was building this strip mall...
- Hold it a sec.

131
00:05:45,787 --> 00:05:47,456
I really have a hard time

132
00:05:47,539 --> 00:05:49,249
with "how we met" stories, okay?

133
00:05:49,374 --> 00:05:51,251
- So I'm gonna...
- Well, I wanna hear it.

134
00:05:51,334 --> 00:05:53,003
- We don't have to tell it.
- No, you can hear it.

135
00:05:53,128 --> 00:05:54,504
I find it cloying and annoying.

136
00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:56,089
Well, fine. I wanna hear it.

137
00:05:56,214 --> 00:05:57,799
They were in the middle.
I wanna hear it.

138
00:05:57,883 --> 00:05:59,968
Why don't you go take a walk
around the block, okay?

139
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:02,095
By the time you're back,
they'll be finished.

140
00:06:02,220 --> 00:06:03,889
- Okay, fine.
- Fine, bye.

141
00:06:04,014 --> 00:06:05,015
- Bye.
- All right, so?

142
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:07,434
I was building
a strip mall in Hesperia...

143
00:06:07,559 --> 00:06:08,769
Let me guess how it ends.

144
00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:11,773
- You get together in... in the end?
- Bye, Larry.

145
00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:15,525
- So you were the architect...
- And she was into real estate.

146
00:06:18,487 --> 00:06:19,905
- Lemonade.
- Mister, come here.

147
00:06:20,030 --> 00:06:22,783
- We have the best lemonade.
- You wanna buy some lemonade?

148
00:06:22,908 --> 00:06:24,868
Hi, selling lemonade, huh?

149
00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:26,745
- Yep.
- Good for you.

150
00:06:26,870 --> 00:06:28,538
Good for you.
You're entrepreneurs.

151
00:06:28,663 --> 00:06:30,415
Hey, mister, did you
steal those pants?

152
00:06:30,499 --> 00:06:32,334
No no no, I... I didn't steal them.

153
00:06:32,417 --> 00:06:34,836
An alarm went off in the store
and I had to leave the store.

154
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,963
I mean, don't they
want your pants back?

155
00:06:37,088 --> 00:06:39,966
I have to bring them back
and I'm going to, but I didn't steal.

156
00:06:40,050 --> 00:06:41,301
Anyway, I'll have some lemonade.

157
00:06:41,426 --> 00:06:42,677
- How much is it?
- A buck.

158
00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:44,179
A buck? Fine.

159
00:06:44,262 --> 00:06:46,681
Thank you very much.
Here you go.

160
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:52,479
Are you kidding me?

161
00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:54,815
Oh my God. This is awful.

162
00:06:54,940 --> 00:06:57,359
I'm not even joking.
Who made that?

163
00:06:57,442 --> 00:06:59,152
- Us. It's beautiful.
- You made it?

164
00:06:59,277 --> 00:07:00,320
- Give me my money back.
- No.

165
00:07:00,445 --> 00:07:02,280
- You can't.
- I want my dollar back.

166
00:07:02,364 --> 00:07:04,199
Just get out of here
if you don't like it.

167
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:06,326
Fine, I'll get out.
It's terrible.

168
00:07:06,451 --> 00:07:07,911
- You stink.
- You stink!

169
00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:09,204
I'm gonna report
you guys for that.

170
00:07:09,287 --> 00:07:10,705
- Go ahead!
- I'm going to.

171
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:11,957
- Turd!
- Loser!

172
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:16,294
- Bald asshole!
- Get outta here! Mom!

173
00:07:20,257 --> 00:07:21,883
Couldn't stand another
"how we met" story?

174
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:23,426
- Is that it?
- No, I couldn't.

175
00:07:23,552 --> 00:07:24,719
Oh, God.

176
00:07:26,888 --> 00:07:27,889
What are you looking at?

177
00:07:27,973 --> 00:07:29,432
What? I'm not looking at anything.

178
00:07:29,558 --> 00:07:31,643
- What are you, self-conscious?
- No, you're looking me over.

179
00:07:31,768 --> 00:07:34,229
I was not looking
you over, paranoid.

180
00:07:35,438 --> 00:07:37,065
Don't know what
you're talking about.

181
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,734
- Hi.
- Hi, Susie.

182
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,444
Excuse me. Excuse me.

183
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:44,906
Are you the gentleman
who was just talking

184
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:47,284
to my kids out there
by the lemonade stand?

185
00:07:47,826 --> 00:07:50,704
I was by the lemonade stand
talking to some youngsters.

186
00:07:50,829 --> 00:07:53,707
Because apparently
some guy came over

187
00:07:53,832 --> 00:07:56,126
and started making fun
of their lemonade.

188
00:07:56,251 --> 00:07:58,211
- Yeah?
- Was that you, perchance?

189
00:07:58,336 --> 00:08:00,922
- Guilty.
- What... what's wrong with you?

190
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,966
I think they deserve
an adult critique.

191
00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:05,886
If they're gonna charge a dollar
and give you this much lemonade...

192
00:08:05,969 --> 00:08:07,178
I felt a little ripped off.

193
00:08:07,304 --> 00:08:09,764
- You knew it was kids at a stand...
- Right, it's kids.

194
00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:11,433
...selling lemonade. Your choice.

195
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:14,477
The stand needs a little supervision,
that's all I'm saying.

196
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:16,479
You know what?
They're in that little kid bubble.

197
00:08:16,605 --> 00:08:20,025
They're buds, and you just...
you know, just piss all over it.

198
00:08:20,150 --> 00:08:21,526
I didn't piss on the buds.

199
00:08:21,818 --> 00:08:24,070
No, I helped the buds.
I'm helping the buds grow.

200
00:08:24,195 --> 00:08:26,907
- I'm good for buds.
- Stay away from the buds, Larry.

201
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:29,784
- May I be excused?
- Get the hell out of here.

202
00:08:29,993 --> 00:08:32,662
Let me tell you something.
Yeah, you.

203
00:08:32,787 --> 00:08:35,582
You talk to my kids again,
calling the cops.

204
00:08:35,665 --> 00:08:37,042
Duly noted.

205
00:08:44,507 --> 00:08:46,343
Hi. Virginia Sloan.

206
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:48,094
- Please sign in.
- Okay.

207
00:08:48,345 --> 00:08:51,222
- Virginia.
- Cheryl.

208
00:08:51,348 --> 00:08:52,724
Oh my God.

209
00:08:52,807 --> 00:08:54,142
You're auditioning?

210
00:08:54,726 --> 00:08:55,977
Yeah.

211
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:58,021
For the same part, how strange.

212
00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,440
- Oh my God, are you here for Amanda?
- Yeah, I am.

213
00:09:00,565 --> 00:09:02,275
- Hmm.
- That is so weird.

214
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,153
Why would you have to audition?
It's based on you.

215
00:09:05,236 --> 00:09:07,447
Well, you know,

216
00:09:07,572 --> 00:09:10,075
I think it's a part...
part of the process that...

217
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,035
- I don't know.
- That's weird that he would make you...

218
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,286
Larry was explaining it to me.

219
00:09:13,411 --> 00:09:16,206
- Hey, how's Dennis?
- He's really good.

220
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,707
- Is he?
- He's really good, yeah.

221
00:09:17,832 --> 00:09:19,334
You know, actually,
I'm meeting him

222
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,711
for lunch later today.

223
00:09:22,045 --> 00:09:24,798
- Do you want to maybe join us?
- I would love to.

224
00:09:24,923 --> 00:09:27,050
- Yeah?
- Yeah, catch up with you guys.

225
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:29,552
- I haven't seen you in forever.
- That would be great.

226
00:09:29,678 --> 00:09:31,262
- I hate auditioning.
- Cheryl, you're next.

227
00:09:31,388 --> 00:09:33,181
- Okay, I'm next.
- Good luck.

228
00:09:33,264 --> 00:09:34,599
- Good luck to you.
- You don't need any luck.

229
00:09:34,683 --> 00:09:38,561
- You're gonna get it.
- Well, who knows?

230
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:41,231
Cheryl's here to read for Amanda.

231
00:09:41,356 --> 00:09:43,066
- Oh.
- Hi.

232
00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:44,818
- Hi, Cheryl.
- Hey.

233
00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:46,653
- This is...
- How are you doing?

234
00:09:46,778 --> 00:09:48,238
- Hey, I'm good.
- Why don't you go?

235
00:09:48,269 --> 00:09:49,481
- Go ahead.
- Okay.

236
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:50,740
- All right.
- All right.

237
00:09:50,865 --> 00:09:52,701
- Hey.
- Hey, Larry.

238
00:09:53,076 --> 00:09:55,578
This is weird. Oh my God.

239
00:09:55,704 --> 00:09:57,330
What's going on with that?

240
00:09:57,414 --> 00:09:58,790
Oh...

241
00:09:59,249 --> 00:10:00,750
well, I was in a store yesterday.

242
00:10:00,875 --> 00:10:02,627
I was going to...
I was just trying these on

243
00:10:02,711 --> 00:10:04,921
and then an alarm went off.

244
00:10:05,046 --> 00:10:06,297
We all went out of the store,

245
00:10:06,423 --> 00:10:08,633
and I didn't feel like waiting around.

246
00:10:08,758 --> 00:10:10,260
So I'm gonna return them today.

247
00:10:10,385 --> 00:10:12,846
Why didn't you just wear
your own pants today?

248
00:10:12,929 --> 00:10:15,098
'Cause then I'd have
to carry these around.

249
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:16,433
Now I don't have
to carry anything.

250
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:18,643
He wears the pants
instead of carrying the pants.

251
00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:21,271
- That's smart.
- Yeah.

252
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,814
- Shall we get started?
- Yes.

253
00:10:22,897 --> 00:10:25,525
Why hold a hat when
you could just put it on your head?

254
00:10:25,650 --> 00:10:26,818
- Wear a hat.
- Yeah, exactly.

255
00:10:26,901 --> 00:10:28,862
But it's not a hat,
it's a pair of pants with a security...

256
00:10:28,987 --> 00:10:30,405
- So what?
- Okay.

257
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:32,866
And so, I'm on an airplane
and I'm on the phone.

258
00:10:32,991 --> 00:10:35,035
- Right.
- Ahem, anytime?

259
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:36,536
Ready? Hello?

260
00:10:36,661 --> 00:10:38,747
George? Oh my God.

261
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:40,582
Honey, you couldn't
call at a worse time.

262
00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:42,375
- I got the TiVo guy here.
- Oh my God, George,

263
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:44,210
we're going through
a really big storm right now.

264
00:10:44,294 --> 00:10:46,296
Hold on, honey. What?
You need the warranty?

265
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:47,630
Honey, let me
ask you a question.

266
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:49,716
Do you know where
the warranty card is on the TiVo?

267
00:10:49,841 --> 00:10:51,634
No no, I don't. I...

268
00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:53,595
hey, in case something
happens to me...

269
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,424
I mean, it's really
bad up here...

270
00:10:55,449 --> 00:10:57,515
- Is it in the kitchen drawer by any chance?
- What?

271
00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,225
I'm sorry, can't hear you.
What is that?

272
00:10:59,309 --> 00:11:00,560
What did you say?

273
00:11:00,852 --> 00:11:02,729
George, I just wanna
tell you in case...

274
00:11:02,812 --> 00:11:05,440
No, not you, honey, the TiVo guy.
Hold on one second.

275
00:11:05,690 --> 00:11:07,942
...for some reason
if I don't make it...

276
00:11:08,026 --> 00:11:09,903
The TiVo guy wants to know
the name of the guy

277
00:11:10,028 --> 00:11:11,321
who installed this thing.

278
00:11:11,696 --> 00:11:13,698
I don't know!
I don't know his name.

279
00:11:13,782 --> 00:11:16,701
- Was it Tom or something?
- I just want you to know...

280
00:11:16,785 --> 00:11:19,329
Or Don, something like that?
Maybe Bill or James?

281
00:11:19,454 --> 00:11:21,331
- Oh my God.
- Wait wait, don't go.

282
00:11:21,456 --> 00:11:23,666
- What?
- No. Oh, jeez. Honey, no, I'm sorry.

283
00:11:23,792 --> 00:11:25,502
You know what?
The TiVo guy's gonna go.

284
00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:28,546
- I'm never gonna get him again.
- It's just a TiVo guy.

285
00:11:28,671 --> 00:11:30,840
Honey, call me back
in 10 minutes, okay?

286
00:11:31,049 --> 00:11:33,176
- What?!
- I'm sorry, sweetheart. I love you.

287
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:35,637
George. George!

288
00:11:37,180 --> 00:11:38,556
- Nice.
- That's it.

289
00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:41,267
- Great.
- Very good.

290
00:11:41,392 --> 00:11:44,521
Aw, it's a little nerve-racking
in here with you guys.

291
00:11:44,646 --> 00:11:46,064
- That was great.
- It's the same for everybody.

292
00:11:46,189 --> 00:11:47,440
- That was great.
- Yeah.

293
00:11:47,816 --> 00:11:49,150
- Okay.
- I think you did great.

294
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:51,152
- Thank you.
- That was really good. You're funny.

295
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:52,695
- All right.
- Great work.

296
00:11:52,821 --> 00:11:54,114
- Thank you, Mark.
- Thanks for coming in.

297
00:11:54,197 --> 00:11:56,324
- Thanks, guys. So we'll talk later?
- Yeah.

298
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:57,951
- Just a formality, right?
- Yeah.

299
00:11:57,992 --> 00:11:59,369
Okay. Uh...

300
00:11:59,494 --> 00:12:01,121
- Well done, Cheryl.
- Thanks, Jerry.

301
00:12:01,246 --> 00:12:02,747
- I'll see you.
- Fantastic.

302
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:05,458
- Thanks, Cheryl.
- Thank you, Mark.

303
00:12:05,583 --> 00:12:07,043
- Good to see you. Bye.
- Okay, thanks.

304
00:12:08,002 --> 00:12:09,671
- She's pretty good.
- Pretty good?

305
00:12:09,754 --> 00:12:12,173
- Yeah, she's pretty good.
- That was insane, okay?

306
00:12:12,257 --> 00:12:14,050
I mean, that was...
that was perfect.

307
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:15,760
- Perfect.
- Yeah, she was good.

308
00:12:15,885 --> 00:12:18,888
- Really natural. Nice solid reading.
- Everything we want.

309
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:21,599
I knew she was good,
never knew she was that good.

310
00:12:21,683 --> 00:12:24,477
I mean, she was great.
That was a great audition.

311
00:12:24,727 --> 00:12:26,896
- Great.
- Should we move on?

312
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,190
I think we can close up shop,
to tell you the truth.

313
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:30,525
Well, I think
we should see everybody.

314
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:33,412
I know, but, you know,
no one's gonna beat that.

315
00:12:35,029 --> 00:12:37,073
Honey, in case
something happens to me...

316
00:12:37,198 --> 00:12:38,825
I mean, it's really bad.

317
00:12:38,950 --> 00:12:41,077
- Is it in the kitchen drawer by any chance?
- What?

318
00:12:41,202 --> 00:12:42,787
I'm sorry, can't hear you.
What is that?

319
00:12:42,912 --> 00:12:45,373
George, I just wanna
tell you just in case...

320
00:12:45,456 --> 00:12:46,791
No, not you, honey,
the TiVo guy.

321
00:12:46,916 --> 00:12:48,668
...for some reason
I don't make it home...

322
00:12:48,751 --> 00:12:50,545
The TiVo guy wants to know
the name of the guy

323
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:51,713
who installed this thing.

324
00:12:51,796 --> 00:12:53,840
Ugh, I don't know.
I don't know his name.

325
00:12:53,965 --> 00:12:55,300
Was it Tom or something?

326
00:12:55,967 --> 00:12:59,304
- I just... I need you...
- Or Don, something like that?

327
00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:00,471
Maybe Bill or James?

328
00:13:00,555 --> 00:13:02,015
Oh, no no.
Jeez, honey, I'm sorry.

329
00:13:02,140 --> 00:13:03,600
You know what?
The TiVo guy's gonna go.

330
00:13:03,725 --> 00:13:06,769
- I'm never gonna get him again.
- It is just a TiVo guy!

331
00:13:06,853 --> 00:13:08,945
Honey, call me back
in 10 minutes, okay?

332
00:13:09,439 --> 00:13:11,608
- What?
- I'm sorry, sweetheart. I love you.

333
00:13:11,733 --> 00:13:12,942
George!

334
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:17,405
- That was great.
- Really good.

335
00:13:17,488 --> 00:13:18,990
- Really great.
- No, it wasn't.

336
00:13:19,073 --> 00:13:20,283
Really great, Virginia.
Thank you.

337
00:13:20,408 --> 00:13:22,577
- Ugh, I hope it was okay.
- It was great.

338
00:13:22,660 --> 00:13:23,912
I'm terrible at auditioning.

339
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:26,039
- No no.
- It was really good.

340
00:13:26,122 --> 00:13:28,208
Thank you. A pleasure.

341
00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:30,627
- It was really nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

342
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:32,003
- Bye.
- Bye.

343
00:13:33,254 --> 00:13:34,547
See you later.
Great job.

344
00:13:34,672 --> 00:13:36,090
- Thanks. See you.
- Bye.

345
00:13:38,343 --> 00:13:39,552
- Wow.
- Nice.

346
00:13:39,636 --> 00:13:41,679
You can see why
she's gotten so much work.

347
00:13:41,804 --> 00:13:45,516
- Yeah, she's terrific.
- That was like, "Hello, pro."

348
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:46,976
You know, she... she was good.

349
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:49,520
She was good, but honestly...

350
00:13:49,771 --> 00:13:52,065
I know probably you think

351
00:13:52,190 --> 00:13:53,775
it's hard for me
to be objective here,

352
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,234
but I thought Cheryl was better.

353
00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:56,736
I mean,
this is Cheryl, this part.

354
00:13:56,861 --> 00:13:59,656
She was on that plane.
She lived this part. That was her.

355
00:13:59,781 --> 00:14:01,282
Who cares who was on the plane?

356
00:14:01,824 --> 00:14:05,078
It's not a real plane.
It's not a real show. It's not a real story.

357
00:14:05,536 --> 00:14:06,454
You know, when we shoot this,

358
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,081
they're gonna cut
the plane in half.

359
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:09,874
It's not even gonna
be a whole plane.

360
00:14:09,999 --> 00:14:12,919
I believed Cheryl more
than I believed Virginia.

361
00:14:13,044 --> 00:14:15,588
Well, a girl like that,
if you can get her,

362
00:14:15,713 --> 00:14:17,048
it's like "Let's get on board

363
00:14:17,173 --> 00:14:19,175
the Virginia Sloan, toot toot.

364
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:21,219
Next stop, Comedy Town."

365
00:14:21,552 --> 00:14:22,804
- Well...
- So it's... it's...

366
00:14:22,887 --> 00:14:25,598
...I don't know what to tell you.
We're at loggerheads here.

367
00:14:25,682 --> 00:14:28,434
Well, I guess we're in
a tie-break situation then.

368
00:14:28,810 --> 00:14:29,727
Mark?

369
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,480
Look, I think Cheryl
really set the bar at the time,

370
00:14:32,563 --> 00:14:36,693
but you cannot deny that
that audition was outstanding.

371
00:14:36,943 --> 00:14:38,361
I'd go with Virginia.

372
00:14:38,486 --> 00:14:39,988
- She's an incredible actress.
- Incredible.

373
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:42,615
I can't believe she's even reading
for something like this.

374
00:14:42,699 --> 00:14:43,616
Yeah.

375
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:46,619
You know, it was amazing.

376
00:14:46,744 --> 00:14:48,496
Look, believe me, you probably

377
00:14:48,579 --> 00:14:50,415
are gonna be better off

378
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:54,460
because working with someone
who you were involved with,

379
00:14:54,585 --> 00:14:56,671
you know, there could be
some tension there.

380
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:57,880
You'll be glad that...

381
00:14:57,964 --> 00:15:01,217
that there's no chance of anything
happening with you and Cheryl.

382
00:15:01,759 --> 00:15:03,886
You'll see. Don't worry,
Cheryl will be fine.

383
00:15:04,095 --> 00:15:05,305
You're gonna be very happy.

384
00:15:06,764 --> 00:15:08,474
All right,
we'll go with Virginia.

385
00:15:08,599 --> 00:15:10,727
Good, all right, we'll go with...

386
00:15:19,068 --> 00:15:20,278
Have a nice day.

387
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:22,822
- Hi.
- Hey.

388
00:15:22,947 --> 00:15:24,657
- Welcome back.
- You remember me?

389
00:15:24,741 --> 00:15:26,284
I remember you from the fire.

390
00:15:27,452 --> 00:15:29,954
- My pants were left in the dressing room.
- They were?

391
00:15:30,079 --> 00:15:31,831
'Cause I couldn't hang around
till the store opened.

392
00:15:31,956 --> 00:15:33,833
And I need to pay
for the ones I'm wearing.

393
00:15:33,916 --> 00:15:34,959
Um...

394
00:15:36,044 --> 00:15:38,755
I don't see... they're not...
they're not here.

395
00:15:39,213 --> 00:15:40,673
They're not here, so...

396
00:15:41,215 --> 00:15:42,759
What are you...
how could they not be there?

397
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:46,554
Every night they completely
clean out the dressing room,

398
00:15:46,637 --> 00:15:48,181
and anything that's in there
they put it in here

399
00:15:48,306 --> 00:15:50,641
in the lost and found
and it's not... it's not here.

400
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:54,145
- So you've lost my pants?
- I'm... I'm sorry, they're gone.

401
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:58,107
So how would you like
to pay for those?

402
00:16:00,485 --> 00:16:03,529
Well, how could
I pay for the pants

403
00:16:04,447 --> 00:16:06,866
if you lost my pants?
That doesn't seem fair.

404
00:16:06,991 --> 00:16:08,743
First of all, we didn't lose them.
They're gone.

405
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:10,578
There's a difference
between lost and gone?

406
00:16:10,661 --> 00:16:12,997
- Yes. Lost is different than gone.
- They're lost and gone.

407
00:16:13,081 --> 00:16:15,708
If they're lost, they'd be here
in the lost and found.

408
00:16:15,833 --> 00:16:17,251
They're gone
and that's the difference.

409
00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:19,045
No, if they were lost,
they wouldn't be there.

410
00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:20,797
They'd be lost, which they are.

411
00:16:20,922 --> 00:16:23,966
Okay, we have a sign
in the fitting room that says that

412
00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:25,843
we're not responsible
for any lost items.

413
00:16:25,927 --> 00:16:28,805
Good for you. I got a sign
at my house, okay?

414
00:16:28,930 --> 00:16:31,599
It says "If somebody takes
your pants, you take theirs."

415
00:16:31,682 --> 00:16:34,060
- That's my sign.
- That's a stupid made-up sign.

416
00:16:34,143 --> 00:16:36,521
That doesn't exist.
Nobody has a sign like that.

417
00:16:36,646 --> 00:16:37,855
Of course I don't
have a sign like that.

418
00:16:37,980 --> 00:16:40,024
I just made it up for the purposes
of this discussion.

419
00:16:40,149 --> 00:16:43,069
- It's obvious I made it up.
- I don't know what you believe.

420
00:16:43,152 --> 00:16:44,904
You might believe
these things you say.

421
00:16:45,029 --> 00:16:47,115
So you might believe that I put up
a sign in my bedroom that says

422
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,574
"If you take my pants,
I take yours"?

423
00:16:48,699 --> 00:16:50,326
So it's not that unfathomable.

424
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,537
Okay, you have
to replace my pants.

425
00:16:52,662 --> 00:16:53,746
I'm not gonna pay
for these pants.

426
00:16:53,871 --> 00:16:56,249
No, 'cause you're gonna walk around
with a security tag on that

427
00:16:56,374 --> 00:16:58,251
and someone's gonna
arrest you or something.

428
00:16:58,334 --> 00:17:00,002
It's like a scarlet letter.

429
00:17:00,128 --> 00:17:02,296
I'm happy to wear the scarlet letter.
Call me Hester.

430
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:04,382
- I won't call you Hester.
- Call me Hester.

431
00:17:04,507 --> 00:17:05,800
I won't call you Hester.

432
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:08,219
You're not... sir, you cannot leave
with those pants.

433
00:17:08,302 --> 00:17:09,178
Really?

434
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:12,014
It's gonna
follow you around, that sound.

435
00:17:15,059 --> 00:17:16,894
- Larry.
- Hi.

436
00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:20,440
- Did you just set off the alarm in there?
- Yeah, I-I did.

437
00:17:20,523 --> 00:17:23,484
What are you doing? I thought
you were gonna get your other pants.

438
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:25,361
They... they don't
have my other pants.

439
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:28,656
They lost them, so I took these.

440
00:17:29,031 --> 00:17:31,117
What did everybody say
about the audition?

441
00:17:32,743 --> 00:17:35,037
- Um...
- Oh, no.

442
00:17:35,204 --> 00:17:37,832
- I wasn't good.
- No, you were great.

443
00:17:37,915 --> 00:17:40,042
- You weren't good, you were great.
- Oh, God.

444
00:17:40,168 --> 00:17:42,044
But, I don't know,

445
00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:44,088
Jerry wants to
give it to Virginia.

446
00:17:46,007 --> 00:17:47,508
I'm so sorry.

447
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:52,221
- I thought this was a formality.
- I thought so too.

448
00:17:52,346 --> 00:17:53,514
I thought it was a done deal.

449
00:17:53,598 --> 00:17:55,349
- I thought so too.
- Oh, gosh.

450
00:17:55,433 --> 00:17:57,727
- And I'm sorry. I apologize.
- Virginia got it?

451
00:17:59,228 --> 00:18:00,730
I mean, she'll be...
she'll be great.

452
00:18:00,855 --> 00:18:02,690
- I'm sure she's thrilled.
- She'll be okay. She's not you.

453
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:05,109
I know, but I'm glad
that she got it if I didn't get it.

454
00:18:05,234 --> 00:18:06,819
- That's good.
- Ugh.

455
00:18:07,195 --> 00:18:08,196
We actually all got together,

456
00:18:08,279 --> 00:18:11,032
Dennis and Virginia
and me, and had lunch.

457
00:18:12,450 --> 00:18:13,993
Got a little crazy, actually.

458
00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:17,830
Dennis, after a few
glasses of wine...

459
00:18:17,955 --> 00:18:20,541
oh, you know,
Virginia went to the bathroom

460
00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:24,837
and he asked me if I was interested
in a ménage à trois.

461
00:18:24,921 --> 00:18:27,590
I mean, I was...

462
00:18:28,257 --> 00:18:29,884
I mean, I was
a little flattered.

463
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:32,929
- I just thought you'd find it funny.
- Funny?

464
00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:34,597
- That's funny.
- That's funny?

465
00:18:34,889 --> 00:18:37,725
I don't find that funny at all.
Who does he think he is?

466
00:18:37,934 --> 00:18:40,436
- First of all, you're my ex-wife, okay?
- Okay.

467
00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:41,562
If you're gonna have
a ménage with anybody,

468
00:18:41,646 --> 00:18:43,314
it's gonna be with me,
not with him.

469
00:18:43,606 --> 00:18:46,067
Why would I want to be
in a ménage with you?

470
00:18:46,150 --> 00:18:48,986
Well, you wouldn't.
But if you're going to do it,

471
00:18:49,070 --> 00:18:51,531
I'd prefer that it would be
with me, that's all.

472
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:52,907
Okay.

473
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:56,619
- He was serious?
- Yeah, he was serious.

474
00:18:57,703 --> 00:19:00,039
Yeah yeah.

475
00:19:13,970 --> 00:19:15,221
Yes, it's more money.

476
00:19:15,346 --> 00:19:17,014
It's a lot more money,
but I can do it for you.

477
00:19:17,139 --> 00:19:18,975
Hang on. Yeah.

478
00:19:19,100 --> 00:19:20,851
Look, I'll meet you
in 20 minutes, all right?

479
00:19:20,977 --> 00:19:23,813
Right there at the site.
Hi, Larry, what's up?

480
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,481
You asked my wife
to be in a threesome?

481
00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:27,942
- Wife?
- Yes.

482
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:29,944
- You mean ex-wife.
- Whatever.

483
00:19:30,152 --> 00:19:32,405
- There's a difference.
- No, there is no difference.

484
00:19:32,530 --> 00:19:34,949
You don't need to concern yourself
with the difference, okay?

485
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:36,534
All right, fine.

486
00:19:38,953 --> 00:19:42,415
Yes, I asked your ex-wife

487
00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:45,710
if she would like to be
in a threesome with my current wife.

488
00:19:46,335 --> 00:19:47,795
- What is wrong with you?
- What's it to you, Larry?

489
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,088
- What's it to me?
- Yeah.

490
00:19:49,213 --> 00:19:51,007
Because I-I have feelings for her

491
00:19:51,132 --> 00:19:52,675
and I don't need you
to defile her, okay?

492
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:54,593
I would not be defiling her.

493
00:19:54,719 --> 00:19:56,470
Whatever two people do,
or three people do,

494
00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:57,972
in the privacy of their own homes
is their own business.

495
00:19:58,097 --> 00:19:59,181
Yeah, I've heard that bullshit.

496
00:19:59,307 --> 00:20:00,725
She's not interested
in doing anything

497
00:20:00,808 --> 00:20:03,227
in the privacy
of your home, okay?

498
00:20:03,352 --> 00:20:05,020
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, really.

499
00:20:05,354 --> 00:20:06,814
That remains to be seen.

500
00:20:07,398 --> 00:20:08,608
What does that mean?

501
00:20:08,858 --> 00:20:12,403
Larry, just because
Cheryl is curious

502
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:14,822
doesn't mean you have any right
to get mad at me, okay?

503
00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:16,324
- Chill out.
- Curious?

504
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:18,659
- Did you say curious?
- Curious.

505
00:20:18,743 --> 00:20:20,202
What are you talking about?

506
00:20:29,879 --> 00:20:31,631
- Hey.
- Hey.

507
00:20:35,509 --> 00:20:37,303
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.

508
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,805
What do you mean nothing?
What's all this fidget?

509
00:20:40,097 --> 00:20:41,265
What are you talking about?

510
00:20:41,349 --> 00:20:43,059
I'm talking about your underwear.

511
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:44,894
Uncomfortable or something?

512
00:20:45,019 --> 00:20:47,772
I have a little problem
with my underwear.

513
00:20:47,897 --> 00:20:49,106
All of a sudden out of nowhere?

514
00:20:49,231 --> 00:20:52,193
- Do you have a new brand or something?
- Yeah, I do.

515
00:20:52,276 --> 00:20:53,444
Really?
Where'd you buy them?

516
00:20:54,236 --> 00:20:55,946
- Online.
- Online?

517
00:20:56,072 --> 00:20:58,157
That's a load of shit.
You don't know how to use a computer.

518
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,576
The last man on earth,
but you don't know how to use a computer.

519
00:21:00,701 --> 00:21:02,912
- How do you buy it online?
- My assistant buys it for me.

520
00:21:03,037 --> 00:21:04,580
Oh, really?
From what website?

521
00:21:05,039 --> 00:21:07,958
- What site does she buy it from?
- Hi hi hi.

522
00:21:08,084 --> 00:21:10,252
- Larry and I gotta talk about some stuff.
- Yeah, I bet you do.

523
00:21:10,336 --> 00:21:12,546
You always have to
talk about some stuff.

524
00:21:15,091 --> 00:21:17,802
Clearly she is not
believing a word of this.

525
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:21,514
- I thought she was buying it at first.
- She's not buying it.

526
00:21:21,722 --> 00:21:23,516
You botched the whole thing.
What are you doing?

527
00:21:23,641 --> 00:21:26,102
- It's crazy.
- I'm doing the best I can, you know.

528
00:21:26,185 --> 00:21:28,771
I'm... I'm trying to play
like slight transvestite.

529
00:21:28,896 --> 00:21:30,481
- Slight transvestite?
- Yes.

530
00:21:30,606 --> 00:21:33,484
It's a comfort thing.
Don't add a transvestite level to this.

531
00:21:33,609 --> 00:21:35,903
A guy who wears
women's underwear is... is part tranny.

532
00:21:35,986 --> 00:21:37,613
- He's not part tranny.
- He's part tranny.

533
00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:40,157
No, you're crazy.
He wants comfort.

534
00:21:40,574 --> 00:21:41,867
You're comfortable, that's it.

535
00:21:41,951 --> 00:21:43,494
You're Larry David
and you like comfort

536
00:21:43,577 --> 00:21:45,204
in women's panties, all right?

537
00:21:45,413 --> 00:21:48,249
- Simple.
- No, it's not so simple. It's not so simple.

538
00:21:48,332 --> 00:21:49,667
- Shh shh!
- I don't know how to play that,

539
00:21:49,750 --> 00:21:52,086
- "I like the comfort of woman's panties."
- That's it, that's all.

540
00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:53,504
- How do you play...
- Ask me a question.

541
00:21:53,629 --> 00:21:56,841
- Where do you get your underwear?
- Many different places.

542
00:21:57,383 --> 00:22:00,553
Stop overacting,
just keep it on the down, okay?

543
00:22:00,678 --> 00:22:02,596
Come on.
All right?

544
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,724
You're Larry David.
Who are you?

545
00:22:04,807 --> 00:22:06,851
- I'm Larry David.
- And what do you happen to enjoy?

546
00:22:06,976 --> 00:22:09,854
- I enjoy wearing women's panties.
- Perfect, that's it.

547
00:22:09,979 --> 00:22:11,981
- I'm very comfortable with that.
- Very comfortable.

548
00:22:12,064 --> 00:22:13,607
Listen, I got big fucking news.

549
00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:15,234
Huge. You ready for this?

550
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:18,821
I got a call from Virginia.
She can't do the part.

551
00:22:19,405 --> 00:22:20,906
She's in a neck brace.

552
00:22:22,491 --> 00:22:23,743
- You're kidding.
- No.

553
00:22:23,868 --> 00:22:26,036
- Oh my God.
- Yes, and you know what that means.

554
00:22:26,203 --> 00:22:28,122
- Cheryl's gonna do the part.
- Cheryl's gonna do the part.

555
00:22:28,247 --> 00:22:31,292
- This is fantastic.
- Yes, it's unbelievable.

556
00:22:31,834 --> 00:22:33,502
What... what happened?

557
00:22:33,627 --> 00:22:35,337
She wouldn't tell me.
I said, "What happened?"

558
00:22:35,463 --> 00:22:37,339
And she said,
"It's not important."

559
00:22:37,965 --> 00:22:39,717
- Hmm.
- Yeah.

560
00:22:40,843 --> 00:22:43,554
- Interesting.
- What?

561
00:22:44,513 --> 00:22:46,599
- As far as I know...
- Yeah?

562
00:22:47,016 --> 00:22:49,101
...there's only two ways
you can injure your neck.

563
00:22:49,185 --> 00:22:50,352
Mm-hmm.

564
00:22:50,478 --> 00:22:52,563
- One is a car accident.
- Yeah.

565
00:22:53,522 --> 00:22:55,900
- The other's cunnilingus.
- Mm-hmm.

566
00:22:56,025 --> 00:22:57,526
If it wasn't a car accident,

567
00:22:57,610 --> 00:23:00,696
she injured her neck
going down on Cheryl.

568
00:23:00,821 --> 00:23:02,823
- Cheryl? Oh my God.
- Yes!

569
00:23:02,907 --> 00:23:04,658
- They had a ménage à trois.
- You don't know that.

570
00:23:04,784 --> 00:23:07,244
It could've been a car accident.
You don't know.

571
00:23:08,662 --> 00:23:09,789
Let's check her car.

572
00:23:09,914 --> 00:23:11,415
All right, let's check her car.

573
00:23:11,624 --> 00:23:14,001
- All right, who are you?
- I'm Larry David.

574
00:23:14,084 --> 00:23:15,503
And what do you happen to enjoy?

575
00:23:15,628 --> 00:23:17,546
- I enjoy wearing women's panties.
- Let's go.

576
00:23:26,391 --> 00:23:27,323
Hey.

577
00:23:27,348 --> 00:23:28,307
What are you, an idiot?

578
00:23:28,516 --> 00:23:30,643
- I didn't... sorry.
- Ouch.

579
00:23:36,607 --> 00:23:38,192
- It's clean.
- Clean.

580
00:23:38,859 --> 00:23:40,027
See anything?

581
00:23:40,152 --> 00:23:41,737
I don't see any damage at all.

582
00:23:47,576 --> 00:23:48,744
Nothing.

583
00:23:49,870 --> 00:23:52,540
- Cheryl.
- Cunnilingus.

584
00:23:53,833 --> 00:23:55,000
Look out.

585
00:24:07,221 --> 00:24:08,389
So...

586
00:24:10,307 --> 00:24:11,684
I have some news.

587
00:24:12,726 --> 00:24:15,938
Virginia can't do the part.

588
00:24:17,356 --> 00:24:18,816
You're playing George's ex-wife.

589
00:24:19,191 --> 00:24:21,944
I'm gonna play George's ex-wife?

590
00:24:22,027 --> 00:24:23,445
Are you kidding me?

591
00:24:23,571 --> 00:24:25,948
- Congratulations.
- And everybody's on board with this?

592
00:24:26,073 --> 00:24:28,826
- Jerry... Jerry said yes...
- Yeah.

593
00:24:28,951 --> 00:24:30,619
- ...and you talked it over and...
- Yeah.

594
00:24:30,744 --> 00:24:33,330
I can't believe you didn't call me
as soon as you heard the news.

595
00:24:33,455 --> 00:24:36,417
- I wanted to, you know, save it.
- This is so fantastic.

596
00:24:36,500 --> 00:24:39,420
- Huh?
- So I can tell my mom and everybody?

597
00:24:39,545 --> 00:24:42,172
Tell all your family.
Tell them all, yeah.

598
00:24:42,339 --> 00:24:44,550
- And mention me when you tell them.
- I will mention you.

599
00:24:44,675 --> 00:24:46,051
That's unbelievable.
Thank you.

600
00:24:46,135 --> 00:24:48,554
- I kinda put the whole thing together.
- Thank you, Larry.

601
00:24:48,721 --> 00:24:51,473
Wow, so what happened
with Virginia?

602
00:24:51,599 --> 00:24:52,808
Why can't she do it?

603
00:24:55,227 --> 00:24:56,770
What an interesting question.

604
00:24:58,814 --> 00:25:00,040
Why can't she do it?

605
00:25:00,065 --> 00:25:01,025
Well...

606
00:25:02,151 --> 00:25:06,071
it seems as if Virginia hurt her neck.

607
00:25:06,196 --> 00:25:07,573
- Mmm.
- Ooh.

608
00:25:07,698 --> 00:25:09,116
How did she hurt her neck?

609
00:25:12,036 --> 00:25:14,288
Very good, very good.

610
00:25:14,955 --> 00:25:16,707
- What?
- You're good. You're good.

611
00:25:16,874 --> 00:25:17,875
I don't know what
you're talking about.

612
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,001
You're gonna do
very well in this part.

613
00:25:20,085 --> 00:25:22,630
- How did she hurt her neck?
- How did she hurt her neck?

614
00:25:23,464 --> 00:25:25,507
- We all know...
- Mm-hmm.

615
00:25:25,799 --> 00:25:28,761
...there's only two ways a person
can injure their neck.

616
00:25:29,136 --> 00:25:30,971
One is a car accident.

617
00:25:31,388 --> 00:25:32,681
And she was not in a car accident

618
00:25:32,765 --> 00:25:34,099
because I checked the car.

619
00:25:34,433 --> 00:25:38,187
- Okay.
- The other is cunnilingus.

620
00:25:40,022 --> 00:25:41,357
And I submit

621
00:25:41,482 --> 00:25:44,610
she performed it
on you in a threesome.

622
00:25:46,028 --> 00:25:49,198
- Come on.
- What are you talking about?

623
00:25:49,323 --> 00:25:50,616
Listen, we're adults.

624
00:25:50,699 --> 00:25:52,201
- Let's just get past this.
- Oh my God.

625
00:25:52,326 --> 00:25:54,870
Because I told you about
Dennis and the three-way.

626
00:25:54,995 --> 00:25:56,747
- Please, stop.
- "There are two ways to injure"...

627
00:25:56,830 --> 00:25:58,832
there are other ways
to hurt your neck, Larry,

628
00:25:58,958 --> 00:26:00,751
besides having
to go down on someone.

629
00:26:00,834 --> 00:26:02,127
- That's ridiculous.
- Name one.

630
00:26:02,211 --> 00:26:03,879
- You could... painting.
- Painting?

631
00:26:04,004 --> 00:26:06,966
- Ugh.
- I never saw Michelangelo in a brace.

632
00:26:11,512 --> 00:26:13,514
- Hello?
- She doesn't believe me.

633
00:26:13,639 --> 00:26:15,975
She's gonna leave me.
She's gonna leave me, man.

634
00:26:16,100 --> 00:26:17,893
- <i>I'm fucked!</i>
- All right, calm down.

635
00:26:18,018 --> 00:26:19,728
<i>She still thinks
the panties are mine.</i>

636
00:26:19,853 --> 00:26:21,563
Jeffrey, where are you?

637
00:26:22,481 --> 00:26:23,941
I'll be right there.

638
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,193
Think of something, all right?

639
00:26:26,318 --> 00:26:27,820
<i>Come on, man, I need your help!</i>

640
00:26:27,945 --> 00:26:31,115
Okay, you know what?
I have an idea.

641
00:26:31,162 --> 00:26:32,351
- <i>Really?</i>
- I do.

642
00:26:32,408 --> 00:26:33,867
- <i>Come over right now.</i>
- It could work.

643
00:26:33,992 --> 00:26:36,286
Man, fuckin' panties.

644
00:26:36,370 --> 00:26:38,627
- I'm a fuckin' idiot.
- <i>Okay, I'm coming over.</i>

645
00:26:38,732 --> 00:26:42,456
♪ Gee, Officer Krupke,
we're very upset ♪

646
00:26:42,545 --> 00:26:45,796
♪ We never had the love that ♪
♪ ev'ry child oughta get ♪

647
00:26:45,981 --> 00:26:49,693
♪ Oh, Officer Krupke, ♪
♪ What are we to do ♪

648
00:26:49,711 --> 00:26:53,289
♪ Gee, Officer Krupke, ♪
♪ Krup you ♪

649
00:26:53,637 --> 00:26:55,973
- That's... that's the same guy.
- It is?

650
00:26:56,056 --> 00:26:57,975
- He used a bad word, Mom.
- Oh my God.

651
00:26:58,058 --> 00:26:59,476
What a jerk.

652
00:27:02,730 --> 00:27:05,315
It's a good plan,
but it's just gotta be natural.

653
00:27:05,399 --> 00:27:07,359
You can't just... you know,
it's gotta be natural.

654
00:27:07,443 --> 00:27:09,028
- I understand that.
- Okay.

655
00:27:09,153 --> 00:27:11,030
- Jeff?
- Yeah?

656
00:27:11,530 --> 00:27:13,449
Virginia got
in a really bad car accident.

657
00:27:13,532 --> 00:27:15,200
- What?
- Her neck is all fucked up.

658
00:27:15,284 --> 00:27:17,911
- She's in a brace.
- She didn't get in car accident, okay?

659
00:27:18,037 --> 00:27:19,830
I saw her car.
There's not a scratch on it.

660
00:27:19,955 --> 00:27:21,623
No, she did, Larry, okay?

661
00:27:21,707 --> 00:27:24,877
She was driving Dennis's car,
asshole know-it-all.

662
00:27:25,002 --> 00:27:26,128
His car's...

663
00:27:26,211 --> 00:27:28,672
His car is all fucked up.
Who's that?

664
00:27:29,798 --> 00:27:31,884
Yes, ma'am, I'm looking
for Larry David.

665
00:27:32,009 --> 00:27:33,469
Come right in.

666
00:27:34,136 --> 00:27:36,555
- Hello.
- Oh, hey, Officer Krupke.

667
00:27:36,638 --> 00:27:38,974
- Yeah.
- Hey, Jeff, it's Officer Krupke.

668
00:27:39,099 --> 00:27:41,143
- Oh, yeah, like from "West Side Story."
- From "West Side Story."

669
00:27:41,226 --> 00:27:43,395
We received a call about you
using obscenities

670
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:45,022
against a woman
and her children.

671
00:27:45,314 --> 00:27:46,940
What? That's ridiculous.

672
00:27:47,107 --> 00:27:48,734
I sang the song I sang to you.

673
00:27:48,761 --> 00:27:50,628
♪ Oh, Officer Krupke, krup you ♪

674
00:27:50,679 --> 00:27:52,257
I didn't say "fuck you."
I said "krup you."

675
00:27:52,291 --> 00:27:55,598
- That's not the way they heard it.
- I was singing a song.

676
00:27:55,649 --> 00:27:56,838
♪ Krup you ♪

677
00:27:58,077 --> 00:27:59,286
Where'd you get those pants?

678
00:28:00,746 --> 00:28:01,997
Banana Republic.

679
00:28:02,039 --> 00:28:03,540
There's a security tag
on those pants.

680
00:28:03,582 --> 00:28:07,086
I traded them because
they took my pants, so I took these.

681
00:28:07,169 --> 00:28:09,046
- Give me the pants.
- What are you talking about?

682
00:28:09,129 --> 00:28:10,714
- These are my pants.
- Now.

683
00:28:13,675 --> 00:28:15,928
- Okay, fine.
- You don't have to do this here.

684
00:28:15,969 --> 00:28:18,388
I don't care. Okay, here.

685
00:28:18,430 --> 00:28:20,182
Oh my God! Jesus Christ!

686
00:28:21,934 --> 00:28:23,685
Who are you?

687
00:28:24,144 --> 00:28:27,147
I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy
wearing women's panties.

688
00:28:41,703 --> 00:28:43,956
You gotta tell Susie
I was in a car accident.

689
00:28:46,023 --> 00:28:49,625
♪ Gee, Officer Krupke, ♪
♪ we're very upset ♪

690
00:28:49,692 --> 00:28:52,959
♪ We never had the love that ♪
♪ ev'ry child oughta get ♪

691
00:28:53,125 --> 00:28:56,759
♪ We ain't no delinquents, ♪
♪ We're misunderstood ♪

692
00:28:56,827 --> 00:28:59,031
♪ Deep down inside us there is good! ♪

693
00:28:59,091 --> 00:29:00,118
♪ There is good! ♪

694
00:29:00,141 --> 00:29:03,497
♪ There is good, there is good, ♪
♪ There is untapped good ♪

695
00:29:03,542 --> 00:29:06,318
♪ Like inside, the worst of us is good ♪

696
00:29:16,172 --> 00:29:17,629
♪ The trouble is he's lazy ♪

697
00:29:17,676 --> 00:29:19,243
♪ The trouble is he drinks ♪

698
00:29:19,272 --> 00:29:20,870
♪ The trouble is he's crazy ♪

699
00:29:20,932 --> 00:29:22,431
♪ The trouble is he stinks ♪

700
00:29:22,476 --> 00:29:24,016
♪ The trouble is he's growing ♪

701
00:29:24,041 --> 00:29:25,676
♪ The trouble is he's grown ♪

702
00:29:25,747 --> 00:29:29,172
♪ Krupke, we got troubles of our own! ♪

703
00:29:29,264 --> 00:29:33,288
♪ Gee, Officer Krupke, ♪
♪ We're down on our knees, ♪

704
00:29:33,370 --> 00:29:37,305
♪ 'Cause no one wants a ♪
♪ fellow with a social disease ♪

705
00:29:37,429 --> 00:29:42,719
♪ Gee, Officer Krupke, ♪
♪ What are we to do? ♪

706
00:29:42,784 --> 00:29:46,745
♪ Gee, Officer Krupke, ♪
♪ Krup you! ♪