1 00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:07,241 ( Theme music playing ) 2 00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:16,784 Hmm. 3 00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:04,064 ( Yelling ) 4 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:17,378 ( Grunts ) 5 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,413 ( Yelling ) 6 00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,062 Fuck. Fucker. 7 00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:37,064 Fuck! Ah! 8 00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:39,500 ( Yelling ) 9 00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:56,016 - ( Loretta yelling ) hey, l.D.! - What? 10 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,719 I need you upstairs... now. 11 00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:02,423 Yo, l.D.! Where you at? 12 00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:05,326 - ( Yelling ) - l.D.! 13 00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:14,568 L.d., what channel is that e! Channel on? 14 00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:17,305 - I can't find it. - I don't know. 15 00:02:17,405 --> 00:02:18,872 - Yeah. - Are you kidding me? 16 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,842 You called me up to ask me about the e! Channel? 17 00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:25,446 I am so sorry that you had to make such a long trek up here. 18 00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:27,757 I'm sitting here suffering with cancer and you had to walk up 19 00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:29,717 some little stairs. Sorry about that, l.D. 20 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:32,085 - What was you doing, anyway? - I actually was opening up 21 00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:35,589 one of those vacuum-sealed packaging and I cut myself on it. 22 00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:38,025 Jeff and susie got me this GPS... 23 00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:40,694 Look at this. Look at this. I can't open those packages. 24 00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:44,164 - Bam! There it is. - Why would you manufacture a product that you can't open? 25 00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:46,867 L.d., I've got an appointment tomorrow at noon 26 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,136 to get my hair and my nails done. 27 00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:51,739 - I want you to take me. - At noon? 28 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:54,408 - Mm-hmm. - Okay, cannot do it. Sorry. 29 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:58,145 - Why can't you? - I'm supposed to play golf tomorrow. 30 00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,423 Well, just move it to another time. 31 00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:01,114 I can't move it to another time. 32 00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:02,783 Can you play before or after? 33 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:03,951 Well, why don't you drive? 34 00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,886 'Cause I have cancer 35 00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,622 - and I want you to drive me. - You do have cancer. 36 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,258 Yes, I do. 37 00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:12,460 But how does it affect your driving? 38 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:15,505 I don't think the doctor would want me to drive, 39 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,465 so I would prefer for you to take me. 40 00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:19,567 The doctor didn't say anything about driving. 41 00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:22,078 - L.d., I have an appointment at noon. - Should we call the doctor 42 00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:23,837 and maybe ask about the driving? 43 00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:26,274 Just to... - l.D., do you know what it feels like 44 00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:29,176 - to have cancer? - I know what it feels like 45 00:03:29,277 --> 00:03:31,144 to be with someone who has cancer. 46 00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:32,656 Ooh, so that's why you should have compassion 47 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,582 and tomorrow at noon take me to my appointment. 48 00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:37,017 - Okay. Okay. - Good. Glad we're clear about that. 49 00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,919 Noon tomorrow. 50 00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:41,054 No golf. 51 00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:42,656 I'm going to dinner tonight 52 00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:47,060 with Jeff, susie and Lewis and his new girlfriend. 53 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:51,299 - Do you wanna go? - Any black people gonna be there? 54 00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:55,002 - No. - Why would I want to go? 55 00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:57,204 Might be some people with cancer. 56 00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:59,440 No, I... I don't wanna go. 57 00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:02,476 - Could you just get me another tea? - Sure. 58 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:05,746 - And it's time to make my juice. - I'll be back. 59 00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:09,717 Oh! L.D., hold on. 60 00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:12,185 Hey, man, let me talk to you about something real quick. 61 00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:14,021 Hey, I've got a friend named alton, right. 62 00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:16,657 - Who? Alton? - Alton. Alton. 63 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:19,059 Big "Seinfeld" fan... Loved the freaking show. 64 00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:20,828 He's a little depressed right now. 65 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,573 Trying to, you know... maybe you could give him a call on his birthday? 66 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,542 - He's a big "Seinfeld" fan? - Big "Seinfeld" fan! 67 00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:27,100 - Fucking loves the show, man. - Wow. 68 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,969 Got a fine-ass wife. Wife fine as hell... 69 00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,980 I don't know why the guy so depressed with a wife that damn fine. 70 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,084 - Really? Really? - Sick fine. I'm talking sick fine. 71 00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:34,608 - Gorgeous? - Sick meaning "good." 72 00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,708 - I got it. Yeah. Yeah. - You get that shit, right? 73 00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:38,245 I've never seen the damn show myself, 74 00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:40,047 but he fricking swears by it. 75 00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:42,916 - Well... all right, fine. - You'll give him a call? 76 00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:44,794 - I'll call him later. - If you can give him a fucking call... 77 00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:46,554 Leave the phone number on my dresser. 78 00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:48,532 I'll leave the number for you. He's gonna fucking flip out, 79 00:04:48,556 --> 00:04:50,791 him and his fine-ass fucking wife. 80 00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:56,263 Well, my next guest is, to say the least, 81 00:04:56,364 --> 00:04:58,732 a Maverick in the field of cancer treatment. 82 00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:02,202 Her newest book is titled "walking out on cancer." 83 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,672 Please say hello to Dr. Karen trundle. 84 00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:07,341 - ( TV audience applauds ) - Dr. Phil: Now, Dr. trundle, 85 00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,743 how does somebody walk out on cancer? 86 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:14,147 Trundle: I do believe that a patient's personal relationships 87 00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:16,116 can contribute to their cancer, 88 00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:19,920 just like living next to a toxic waste dump can actually cause cancer. 89 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:22,289 If I determine that a patient of mine 90 00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:24,925 is in a toxic relationship with their spouse, 91 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:27,861 I will counsel them to leave that spouse. 92 00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,931 When we're talking about a toxic spouse, 93 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:33,066 we're talking about what? 94 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,168 Well, someone who is impatient, 95 00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:36,970 someone who's obnoxious, 96 00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:39,407 someone who is petty and argumentative, 97 00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:41,875 and obsesses over meaningless details 98 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:44,177 at the expense of a harmonious relationship. 99 00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:47,214 Okay, so you're telling me if you met with a new patient 100 00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:50,884 and you saw that they were married to a person like that... 101 00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:54,788 I would counsel them to leave and to never look back. 102 00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:58,426 ( Dr. Phil chuckles ) and that's how they walk out on cancer? 103 00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:00,206 We've got a couple of your patients here... 104 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:03,263 Drink it up. You're doing great. 105 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:07,668 Attagirl! Good job! Good job! 106 00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:09,302 - Thanks, l.D. - Good job. 107 00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:12,506 Hey, I heard about this great doctor 108 00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:16,343 and I took the Liberty of making an appointment for you... 109 00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:18,679 For us, actually, because I have to go too. 110 00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:20,714 So what wrong with the doctor I've got? 111 00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:23,183 The doctor you have is perfectly fine 112 00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:24,985 but get a second opinion. 113 00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:28,589 - Where'd you find out about this doctor? - A friend of mine. 114 00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,057 - A friend of yours? - Mm-hmm. 115 00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:31,625 - Who? - Phil. 116 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:34,762 - Phil who? - Phil kreel... Ton. 117 00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:37,731 Okay, all right. Second opinion. 118 00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,500 I'm gonna trust you on this one, l.D. 119 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,344 I've got a very good feeling about this doctor, 120 00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:44,037 and when I get a feeling... 121 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:47,475 - You've got a feeling. - I get a feeling. 122 00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:50,077 Thanks for the look out, l.D. 123 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,615 ( Beeping ) 124 00:06:56,684 --> 00:06:59,720 - Man: Hello? - Oy, alton, this is Larry David. 125 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:03,491 - Who? Larry? - Larry David from the "Seinfeld" show. 126 00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:06,426 Larry... oh, Larry David? 127 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:08,438 I'm a friend of Leon's. He told me to give you a call. 128 00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:10,631 - He said it was your birthday. - Oh, man! 129 00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,733 I can believe you're calling me. 130 00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,902 - Happy birthday, alton. - That's amazing. 131 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:17,605 Man, "Seinfeld" is one of my favorite shows of all time. 132 00:07:17,705 --> 00:07:21,809 Oh, great. Anyway, so happy birthday. 133 00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:25,646 - Thank you. - And, you know, Leon said you were a little depresse. 134 00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:28,682 Yeah. - Although then he said your wife was beautiful, 135 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,760 so I don't know what you have to be depressed about, really. 136 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:33,286 What... what do you mean about my wife? 137 00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:36,690 What? My w... why is he talking about my wife? 138 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,560 He's not talking about your wife. He just said she was beautiful. 139 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,461 Yeah, okay. Well, I know she's beautiful 140 00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:43,673 but why is Leon telling you that my wife is beautiful? 141 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,441 - He's complimenting her. - That's not a compliment! 142 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,625 That's like another man looking at another man's woman. 143 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,937 - He didn't say she was ugly. - I knew it was like that! 144 00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:51,905 I've seen them together at the house talking, 145 00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:54,842 - always laughing. I knew it! - All right, you know what? 146 00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:56,910 - I'm gonna take off. - Yo, is he there?! 147 00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:59,122 - Anyway, it's great talking to you. - Put him on the phone! 148 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,048 Happy birthday and good luck. See you around. 149 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,483 Where you at right now? Tell me where you at! - ( Beeps ) 150 00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:05,519 ( Phone clatters ) 151 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:14,695 - Hey, I... I... - Hey. 152 00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,463 - Oh, hey. - Just in time. 153 00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:19,466 - We just sat down. - Oh, is that Lewis's new girlfriend? 154 00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:21,602 Yeah. Yeah yeah. She's beautiful, huh? 155 00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:24,538 - Larry: It's not gonna last. - Jeff: You're not gonna believe this 156 00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:26,073 and you've got to swear to secrecy. 157 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,508 - You swear to secrecy? - Come on, I'm a vault. 158 00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:30,477 On the way over here, 159 00:08:30,578 --> 00:08:32,713 she blew him in the car. 160 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:36,449 Oh yeah. Oh yeah. 161 00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:39,252 - Blowjob in the car? - While he's driving. 162 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,121 Wow, how gentile. 163 00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:43,232 Not gonna get that close to her, I can tell you that. 164 00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:46,827 - Okay okay. - By the way, I don't approve of a blowjob in the car at all. 165 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,138 Really? - More dangerous than cell phones in my opinion. 166 00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:51,632 - What about handjobs? - Any kind of job is dangerous. 167 00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:53,142 It has to affect the driver. I can't deny it. 168 00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:54,902 I think it should be illegal, frankly. 169 00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:56,379 By the way, why do they call it a job? 170 00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:58,872 Is it so hard? Is it a lot of work? 171 00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,908 - Well, tugging, sucking. - Tugging. 172 00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:03,476 It's a lot of work. I wouldn't want to do it. 173 00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:06,580 It is a job. No wonder why they don't like it. 174 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,515 Oh, look who finally comes over. 175 00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:10,183 - Hey. Hello. - Hi. Beverly. 176 00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,785 Hi. Larry. Hi. 177 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,687 Where have you guys been, huh? 178 00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:15,464 - Huh? Oh, you know... - Just talking, catching up. 179 00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,400 - We're sitting here for like an hour... - Yeah, sorry. 180 00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:19,202 - There's no bread, the service sucks. - No bread. 181 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,161 Don't you guys want a drink? No drinks. 182 00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:24,097 I'd love a drink. What... what is that? That looks interesting. 183 00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:27,635 - That drink. - Mmm mmm mmm... pomegranate surprise. 184 00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,545 - Pomegranate juice, blueberry juice. - Uh-huh. 185 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,605 Here, have a try. 186 00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:34,574 You're gonna love it... Antioxidants, Tequila. 187 00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:37,077 It's fabulous. Mmm. 188 00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:39,947 - Mmm mmm. - Lewis: Look at the salt on that rim. 189 00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:42,783 - Here. Come on, give it a try. - No no. No, thanks. 190 00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:44,327 - I think you'll like it. - I don't think so. Thank you. 191 00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:46,453 - Take a little sip. - No! No. 192 00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:49,489 I don't like to take sips. 193 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,391 I don't. I don't take bites either. 194 00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:53,126 No bites, no sips. Yeah. 195 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,462 - Oh, hey, bread. Fabulous. - Susie: Finally. 196 00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:56,930 - Look at this. - About time. 197 00:09:57,030 --> 00:10:00,133 I'm starving. 198 00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:01,802 Susie: Thank you, lar. Very nice of you. 199 00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:03,536 A pleasure. Pleasure. 200 00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:05,605 - I've got the next one, buddy. - Do you? 201 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,407 You going to Michael York's party? 202 00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:09,719 Michael York's party. You know, I really love Michael York, 203 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:13,480 but the guy... he lives in the boondocks. I'll never find the place. 204 00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:15,100 What about that nav system we gave you? 205 00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,717 Great gift, and thank you so much. 206 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,852 I couldn't open... I couldn't open the package. 207 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,752 - Susie: What do you mean? - It comes... it's entombed in this plastic. 208 00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:24,291 I was stabbing it with a knife. It's impossible. 209 00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:25,793 There's a tab. You pull the tab. 210 00:10:25,893 --> 00:10:27,861 - No, there was no tab, susie. - No perforation? 211 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:31,699 - No, no perforation... nothing. - Just get an x-acto knife 212 00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:33,359 - or a box cutter, okay? - There you go. 213 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,235 - A box cutter? - Jeff: Yes. 214 00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,871 Who am I, Mohamed atta? I gotta buy a box cutter? 215 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:41,241 - I mean it's crazy. - We're late. We're gonna go see "last tango in Paris," 216 00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:43,953 - my favorite film, for the hundredth time. - Oh my, "last tango in Paris." 217 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,178 What a piece of crap. 218 00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,114 ( Mimics Brando ) "put butter up my ass." 219 00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:48,882 I mean, is that supposed to be a movie? 220 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,227 Pretention masquerading as art... That's what you've got there. 221 00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:55,022 You know nothing about foreign films or anything. It's all about you. 222 00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:57,033 - We've gotta go. We're gonna miss the film. - Have you seen it? 223 00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:59,659 - Susie, nice to meet you. - Bye, Beverly. You too. 224 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,763 - Oh, Larry. - Ah! 225 00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:05,766 What's the problem with you? 226 00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,735 - What? - Since you arrived, 227 00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:09,569 you've just been... weird. 228 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,115 - What? No. - Yeah, I was just so looking forward to meeting... 229 00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:15,042 - Oh! - I-I'm... I'm sorry. 230 00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:18,445 Holy sh... 231 00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:20,580 What the fuck did you do? 232 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,959 She wanted you to have a little drink. You wouldn't take it. 233 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:25,218 She wanted to kiss you goodbye like an aunt in Brooklyn 234 00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:26,754 at a seder. You can't even do that? 235 00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:28,555 What is she, a leper, for Christ's sake? 236 00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:31,258 - All right, you want to know why? - Yes, I want to know why. 237 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:34,061 ( Silent ) - come on, tell me the truth. Don't lie to me. 238 00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:35,905 - You know, don't lie. - No, 'cause I have... 239 00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:37,874 Okay, I have a cold sore and I didn't want to kiss her. 240 00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:40,133 - You have a cold sore? - Yeah. 241 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:43,370 And I was... I was embarrassed. 242 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:46,506 - So why didn't you tell her? - I was embarrassed. 243 00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:49,542 - I'm sorry. - Lewis: Uh-huh. 244 00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:50,944 I'll never get laid again. 245 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,413 Just tell the whole restaurant. 246 00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:01,488 Larry! 247 00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:04,357 - ( Bells ring ) - hey, Larry! 248 00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,227 Larry! 249 00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:10,597 - You got x-acto knives? - Sure, right here. 250 00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:13,333 Oh, okay. Can I see that red one? 251 00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:16,503 - Sure thing. - Jeez, I can't open the vacuum-sealed packaging. 252 00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:19,840 - It's impossible. You can't open it. - Oh yeah. 253 00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:21,060 - I'll take this one. - Okay. 254 00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:23,076 - ( Bells ring ) - Larry. 255 00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:24,687 Why'd you tell alton I was fucking his wife? 256 00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:26,151 What? Come here. What are you saying? 257 00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:27,948 You told alton I'm fucking his wife? 258 00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:31,251 No, I said that you said that his wife was beautiful, 259 00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:33,620 and that's all I said. That's all I said. 260 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,022 When you said that shit to him, 261 00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:36,857 that's implying that I'm fucking her. 262 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:39,259 - Well, just tell him that you're not. - But I am! 263 00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:40,928 - You are? - I'm tapping that ass! 264 00:12:41,028 --> 00:12:42,930 I've been kung-fuing that ass for a while now. 265 00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:44,908 - What is wrong with you? - Said, fucking that ass... they're the same thing. 266 00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:46,666 Why do you fool around with married women? 267 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,601 - Ass is ass, Larry. - Ass is not ass. 268 00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:50,780 - Ass is fucking ass, Larry. It's what the fuck I do. - No, it's not. 269 00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:52,572 Well, you don't have to tap every ass. 270 00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:54,174 Do you? Do you have to tap every ass? 271 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,909 What the fuck we gonna do right now? 272 00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:58,879 - What do you mean "we"? - Alton's gonna fuck somebody up. 273 00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:01,748 I have nothing to do with this! I'm not tapping anybody! 274 00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:03,450 You're tapping! I'm not tapping! 275 00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:05,661 You are combined in this shit with me now, god damn it. 276 00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:07,654 We are lego. We are a fucking lego set right now. 277 00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:10,057 We are fucking interlocked together. We fucked her. 278 00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:11,558 Get away from me. Get out of here. 279 00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:14,027 - Fix this shit. Fix it! - I'm not fixing anything. 280 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,529 $10. 281 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,269 First of all, Loretta, I want to say 282 00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:24,604 how sorry I am to hear about your diagnosis, 283 00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:27,707 but I want you to know that we're gonna get you through this... 284 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,485 - Thank you, Dr. trundle. - Without a doubt. 285 00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:30,878 ( Sputtering ) 286 00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,455 And there's something that's happening tomorrow night. 287 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:35,215 I'm actually giving a talk on coping strategies... 288 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,955 You ever do that? -...For newly-diagnosed patients and I think... 289 00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:40,888 It's like how horses do it, right? 290 00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:43,390 And I can see why they do it. It feels good. 291 00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:46,870 How long have you all been together? This seems... 292 00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:48,628 It's been about a... 293 00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,363 like a fairly new relationship. 294 00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:52,765 - It's been about a year now. - About a year? 295 00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:54,377 How... how would you describe these artifacts? 296 00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:56,003 What is it exactly? 297 00:13:56,103 --> 00:13:58,705 - That's African art. - African? 298 00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:01,574 - Really? Hey... African. - Yes. 299 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,277 What, I'm supposed to have a connection to her 'cause I'm black? 300 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:06,313 Duh! 301 00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:10,317 Mr. David, please have a seat, 302 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,461 - so I can just finish up the history here. - Sure. Okay, sure. 303 00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:16,990 So are you all in what you would call 304 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,659 a happy, healthy, committed relationship? 305 00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:22,162 A happy and a healthy new year to you. 306 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:25,498 A happy and a healthy... - no, we're talking about our relationship right now. 307 00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:29,302 - Okay, yes. - We... we get along most of the time. 308 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:31,571 Who's this guy? Is that your husband? 309 00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:35,208 Yes. - Oy, he's got some healthy head of hair, this one. 310 00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:38,445 Yes, he was blessed follicly, yes. 311 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,385 Oh, he was blessed. So, what? I'm unblessed. Is that what you're saying? 312 00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:42,854 No, I wasn't referring to you at all. 313 00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:44,084 Bald people are not blessed? 314 00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:45,685 This has nothing to do with you. 315 00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:48,455 We don't belong on the same planet as the blessed hairs? 316 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:52,159 Now, as I was saying, the type of relationship that you have, 317 00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:54,194 do you feel that your relationship is... 318 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,496 Larry: Ooh. - ...In a comfortable, easy place? 319 00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:58,598 We have differences and things like that... 320 00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,944 Larry: Oh yeah. - ...But overall we get along pretty good. 321 00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:02,869 You know, the cancer, how much... 322 00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:05,238 ( sings commercial jingle ) 323 00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:09,118 - You remember that commercial? - ( Forcefully ) no. 324 00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:10,653 - Ever see that one? - I have a great idea: 325 00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:12,845 There are some great magazines right outside. 326 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:15,458 - Right, since he can't focus. - I would like to discuss with Loretta 327 00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:18,551 some very intimate, personal things that, as a woman, 328 00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:20,763 in terms of self-image, I think would be better discussed... 329 00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:23,066 - That would so work for me too. - Just in our company. 330 00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:24,958 Yeah, maybe you'll find a magazine out there 331 00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,793 - that'll work for you. - I understand. 332 00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:29,005 - All right. Thank you. - Discuss, you two, you sit, you talk. 333 00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:30,663 You'll have coffee. You'll discuss. 334 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,932 Discuss. You'll talk. You'll do this. You'll do that. 335 00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:36,136 - Have some girl time. - You enjoy yourselves, have a good discussion. 336 00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:38,305 I'll be out there. You'll be here. 337 00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:40,273 We'll talk... lat. 338 00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,375 ( Grumbles ) 339 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:48,448 You're gonna need to hear something very difficult right now. 340 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,986 - ( People chatting ) - ( sighs ) 341 00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:59,692 - 6:00. - Ah. Mr. trundle? 342 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,095 - Yeah. - I saw your picture on your wife's desk. 343 00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:05,198 Oh, right. Take care then. 344 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,634 - Okay. - All right. 345 00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:10,937 - ( Grunts ) - Larry? 346 00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:15,008 Larry David. Dean. Dean weinstock. 347 00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:17,510 - Oh my god. Hey. - Yeah, used to be your next-door neighbor. 348 00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:20,113 - Yeah. Hey. - Hey, man. It is so good to see you. 349 00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:21,881 - Hey hey. - ( Glasses crunch ) 350 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,383 - Whoa! - Oh, Christ! 351 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:27,054 - Oh my god. - These are... are broken. 352 00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:28,621 - Oh, dear. - Thank you. 353 00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:31,491 - Oh, man. - It is just so good to see you, man. 354 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,326 - That's awesome. - Good to see you. 355 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:35,395 - It's great. - I'm sorry about your glasses. 356 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,530 Don't worry about it. I'll send you a bill. 357 00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:40,533 Tell me, how's Cheryl? How's... where'd you guys move to? 358 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:43,803 Wha... what... you'll what? You'll send me a bill? 359 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:46,849 - Is that what you said? - Yeah, these are... I don't think these can be fixed. 360 00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:48,808 - Wait a second. - Yeah? 361 00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:52,279 - You're gonna send me a bill? - Just for the glasses. 362 00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:55,014 - Why? - 'cause they're like $219. 363 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,218 I... I didn't break your glasses. 364 00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:00,296 It was the hug that broke 'em. It wasn't you specifically... 365 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,431 Okay, yeah. - ...But you were the one who instigated the hug. 366 00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:03,799 I didn't inst... I instigated the hug? 367 00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,692 Yeah, I came in for like a shake... 368 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:08,661 No, I came in for a shake and then I saw you make a move for the hug, 369 00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:12,165 - so I went in. - I kinda remember I said the "hey." 370 00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,201 I think you're mistaking my "hey" for a hug. 371 00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:15,835 Even if I did initiate the hug... 372 00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:17,570 - Yes? Yeah? - Which I didn't, 373 00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:20,773 that still doesn't make me responsible for your glasses. 374 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,685 They're your glasses. They're around your neck. 375 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:25,245 With all due respect, I feel like you didn't recognize me 376 00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,780 then I did the "hey," then I did the shake, 377 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,183 then you came in and, because you were so embarrassed 378 00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:33,920 and so mortified that you did not recognize me, 379 00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:35,855 you overcompensated by a superstrong hug 380 00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:38,634 - that broke my glasses. - Okay, that's an incredibly idiotic theory. 381 00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:40,260 I think, because you're a needy person, 382 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,095 you wanted me to like you, so you hugged me. 383 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,635 First of all, I'm not a needy person. 384 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:46,899 Okay? That's number one. I have no needs at all, okay? 385 00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:49,778 I wasn't overcompensating. I don't like you. Why would I want to hug you? 386 00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,971 - All right. - I'm not paying for your glasses. 387 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,773 I'm not asking you to pay for the glasses. 388 00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:56,509 I'm asking you to replace these glasses that you broke. 389 00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:59,479 I'm still paying for them even if I replace them, 390 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,148 am I not? What's the difference? 391 00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:03,226 I don't know if you know an optometrist. I don't know. 392 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,528 - No, I don't know any optometrists. - Well, I didn't think you did 393 00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:07,720 so, in that case, that's why I'm invoicing you. 394 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:10,633 Okay, you send me the invoice. I'm going to rip it up into tiny little pieces 395 00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:13,793 - and I might even pee on it. - Why... why are we fighting in here? 396 00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:16,239 We're fighting because you're a moron. That's why we're fighting. 397 00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:19,098 You know I have cancer, right? 398 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:21,668 You know that's why I'm here. 399 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,305 I don't want to have a fight with you. 400 00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:28,141 In fact, my doctor said to not have any fights at all. 401 00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:31,678 Okay, I'll... 402 00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:35,782 I'll pay for the glasses. 403 00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:37,750 You'll replace the glasses. 404 00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:42,054 I'll pay for the glasses. 405 00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:44,924 I appreciate you accepting responsibility. 406 00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:47,394 It feels good, right? 407 00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:59,005 I got a pretty good vibe from that doctor. 408 00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:02,175 Pretty pretty 409 00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:05,011 pretty pretty good. 410 00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:06,579 Yeah, she's pretty smart. 411 00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,981 Yeah. Yeah, what did you guys talk about? 412 00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:12,619 She told me there's certain things I've got to do to make sure I get well. 413 00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:14,330 Well, you got to do 'em, you've got to do 'em. 414 00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:16,289 - Yeah. - If that's what she said, 415 00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,191 you've got to listen to the doctor. 416 00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:20,393 Because without your health, you're nothing. 417 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,329 Some people are nothing even with health. 418 00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:24,631 I fall into that category sometimes. 419 00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:26,666 A nothing... a big nothing... and I have health. 420 00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:29,302 I would like to go to her lecture tomorrow. 421 00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:32,305 You know what? I'll drive you. How about that? 422 00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:36,676 ( Doorbell rings ) 423 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,080 What can I do for you? 424 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,749 You killed another relationship. 425 00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:45,618 - I did? - That's right, and a very special one, too. 426 00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:47,587 This is maybe the most special one I ever had. 427 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,356 Really? The last one was special. 428 00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:50,723 I made a mistake on that one. 429 00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:52,335 There have been quite a few special girls. 430 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:53,192 I've made mistakes. Not this one. 431 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:54,293 This one's more special? 432 00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,695 This is the most special. 433 00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:57,764 - No question about it? - No question about it. 434 00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:01,133 Is she the most special out of all the special girls you've taken out? 435 00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:03,135 - I think she might be. - Really? 436 00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:04,871 That's right, and she needs an apology. 437 00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:06,873 Okay? So come on. 438 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,576 What do you want me to say? 439 00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:12,412 I don't... tell her the truth... you know, the thing. 440 00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:15,615 - Okay, fine. - Thank you. 441 00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:18,785 You'd better get me out of this. 442 00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:22,822 Hey, Beverly. I... honestly, 443 00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:26,693 I am so sorry about what happened in the restaurant 444 00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:29,128 but, um... 445 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,948 - What's wrong? - Would you back up, please? 446 00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:33,533 You're right on my neck here. Just back up a little bit. 447 00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:35,411 - You're breathing down my neck. - Sorry, I'm... 448 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:37,437 Anyway, I'm really sorry. 449 00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:39,657 About not kissing you in the restaurant. That was bad. 450 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:43,276 But Jeff told me that you gave Lewis a blowjob in the car 451 00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:45,087 before you got to the restaurant, so that's why... 452 00:20:45,111 --> 00:20:48,415 - what?! Jeff said... Jeff said what? - What did you say? 453 00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:51,751 Blowjob? What the fuck are you talking about? 454 00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:53,929 What is this? What, am I in grade three or something? 455 00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:55,913 Look, I haven't had a blowjob in about five years, 456 00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:57,666 - so I was excited, so it slipped out. - I know! I can tell! 457 00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,930 You're not gonna have one for another fucking five years! 458 00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,561 ( Tires screech ) 459 00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:04,907 Why the fuck would you do something like that, huh? 460 00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:06,642 - What? You told me to tell the truth. - Are you fucking crazy? 461 00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:07,967 - Tell the truth? - Yeah. 462 00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:10,069 I thought the truth was that you had a cold sore 463 00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:11,880 for Christ's' sake! That's what the truth would have been! 464 00:21:11,904 --> 00:21:13,806 What? No no no. I made up the cold sore 465 00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:15,884 'cause I didn't want to kiss her! Anyway, you went like this! 466 00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:18,545 That's the sign for blowjob. That's a blowjob sign. 467 00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:20,656 - No, it's cold sore. It's "I'm choking." - That's cold sore? 468 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,415 That's an I'm-eating- corn-on-the-cob thing. 469 00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:24,684 That's a blowjob, buddy, where I come from. Yeah. 470 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:27,119 Why couldn't you just kiss her goodbye like a human being? 471 00:21:27,219 --> 00:21:29,665 Kiss her goodbye? She's got your semen on her lips. I'm not gonna kiss her. 472 00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:32,525 - She had my semen on her lips. - Yes! Yeah, secondhand semen. 473 00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,461 You can't be a homosexual by proxy. 474 00:21:34,561 --> 00:21:36,201 It's probably in the fucking constitution. 475 00:21:36,262 --> 00:21:37,830 I think you can be gay by proxy. 476 00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:40,232 - Christ. - Anyway, sorry. 477 00:21:40,333 --> 00:21:41,934 How am I going to get home by the way? 478 00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:43,603 Eh, you take a bus. 479 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:50,810 Can I tell you something? I'm very excited about this lecture. 480 00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:52,712 - Why? - Come on. 481 00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:55,214 How often do you get to listen to somebody this smart? 482 00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,717 Not even smart, brilliant. She's brilliant. 483 00:21:57,817 --> 00:21:59,586 I get it. You were impressed. Okay? 484 00:21:59,686 --> 00:22:02,321 Enough with the Dr. trundle and the brilliance. 485 00:22:02,422 --> 00:22:05,257 I get your point, okay? 486 00:22:05,358 --> 00:22:08,260 Hey, Dr. trundle's husband. 487 00:22:08,361 --> 00:22:11,330 Yeah. I remember him from the picture. 488 00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:14,266 Yeah, right. Yeah, I saw him yesterday in the reception area. 489 00:22:14,367 --> 00:22:17,203 Really? - Yeah. He's probably on his way to the lecture. 490 00:22:17,303 --> 00:22:18,638 Yeah. 491 00:22:20,206 --> 00:22:21,941 Is that Dr. trundle?! 492 00:22:22,041 --> 00:22:24,110 Go... it... 493 00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:25,912 I.d., is she giving him a blowjob?! 494 00:22:26,012 --> 00:22:28,481 - That's what it looks like. - Oh my gosh! 495 00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:30,617 - Wow. - Loretta: Oh no. 496 00:22:30,717 --> 00:22:33,352 Oh, no no no no no no no no no, l.D. 497 00:22:33,453 --> 00:22:35,213 - I want you to turn this car around. - What? 498 00:22:35,287 --> 00:22:37,332 - Turn the car around! - So what? So she's giving him a blowjob. 499 00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:39,735 - What's the big deal? - No no no! I can't trust a woman like that 500 00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:42,595 to cure my cancer, doing something like that in the car! 501 00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:45,732 - Are you kidding me? - She must've been doing it for therapeutic reasons. 502 00:22:45,832 --> 00:22:48,234 - I want you to take me home, l.D. - The lecture! 503 00:22:48,334 --> 00:22:51,738 L.d., turn this car around. 504 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,482 - Hi. - Hi. 505 00:23:02,582 --> 00:23:05,852 Could you please give this to Dean weinstock? He's a patient here. 506 00:23:05,952 --> 00:23:09,121 - Sure. Okay. - It's a check for his glasses. 507 00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:11,357 - Mr. David. - Hello. 508 00:23:11,458 --> 00:23:13,325 Hi, what a surprise. 509 00:23:13,426 --> 00:23:15,928 - You here alone? - Yeah. 510 00:23:16,028 --> 00:23:20,800 I would love to talk to you. Do you have a minute? 511 00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:23,436 Sure. Great. We'll go back to my office. 512 00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:26,148 - Melissa, would you hold all the calls, please? - Sure, Dr. trundle. 513 00:23:26,172 --> 00:23:27,774 This way. 514 00:23:29,509 --> 00:23:30,810 Come on in. 515 00:23:32,011 --> 00:23:34,614 I wanted to tell you how disappointed I was 516 00:23:34,714 --> 00:23:37,917 that you and Loretta were not at the lecture yesterday. 517 00:23:38,017 --> 00:23:40,720 And I think the reason that you weren't there 518 00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:42,855 was because you recognized 519 00:23:42,955 --> 00:23:46,058 that I am going to recommend that she leave the relationship. 520 00:23:46,158 --> 00:23:47,827 That terrifies you and that's why 521 00:23:47,927 --> 00:23:49,496 you didn't want her to be there. 522 00:23:49,596 --> 00:23:52,532 No no, that's the furthest thing from the truth. 523 00:23:52,632 --> 00:23:54,667 I have a lot of experience with this, 524 00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:57,470 and I find that men often have this reaction. 525 00:23:57,570 --> 00:23:59,247 It's certainly understandable. It's very threatening. 526 00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:02,008 But the fact is we're talking about a woman's life 527 00:24:02,108 --> 00:24:05,512 and I'm saying something that you just don't want to hear. 528 00:24:05,612 --> 00:24:08,247 It's not true. I reject your hypothesis. 529 00:24:08,347 --> 00:24:09,749 Why didn't she come to the lecture? 530 00:24:09,849 --> 00:24:12,118 - You really want to know why? - Of course I do. 531 00:24:12,218 --> 00:24:14,621 Okay, I'm going to tell you. 532 00:24:14,721 --> 00:24:18,525 We were driving to the lecture, we were on our way... 533 00:24:18,625 --> 00:24:20,660 - Mm-hmm. - And then 534 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:23,530 I noticed your husband in the car ahead of us. 535 00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:27,734 Then you picked your head up off of his lap 536 00:24:27,834 --> 00:24:32,338 and Loretta decided that she didn't want anything to do 537 00:24:32,438 --> 00:24:35,107 with a doctor who would, you know, do that. 538 00:24:35,207 --> 00:24:36,909 Who would do what? 539 00:24:37,009 --> 00:24:38,911 Come on. 540 00:24:39,011 --> 00:24:41,280 Oh my god. 541 00:24:41,380 --> 00:24:43,082 My husband was driving the car, 542 00:24:43,182 --> 00:24:45,918 and yes, I dropped my cell phone on his side of the car, 543 00:24:46,018 --> 00:24:47,687 and I was looking for the cell phone. 544 00:24:47,787 --> 00:24:49,689 An awful long time to look for the cell phone. 545 00:24:49,789 --> 00:24:53,125 You are so ridiculous. You are so juvenile. 546 00:24:53,225 --> 00:24:54,870 - I don't know. - You are exactly the kind of man 547 00:24:54,894 --> 00:24:57,063 - I'm talking about in this book. - Me?! 548 00:24:57,163 --> 00:24:58,397 Yes. You are a tiny, 549 00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:01,300 little, insecure, infantile mind 550 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,035 of about a 12-year-old! 551 00:25:03,135 --> 00:25:05,605 - I think you blew him. - Oh my god! 552 00:25:05,705 --> 00:25:07,640 - You think I blew him? - ( Yelling ) 553 00:25:07,740 --> 00:25:10,743 You have nothing better in your mind than that?! 554 00:25:10,843 --> 00:25:13,512 You're out of control! Get him out of my office! 555 00:25:25,257 --> 00:25:26,559 Oh shit. Oh shit. 556 00:25:26,659 --> 00:25:28,695 - My shoes are in there. - Alton's here! 557 00:25:28,795 --> 00:25:31,931 - What? - Alton's at the front door! 558 00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:35,702 You brought his wife here? You idiot! 559 00:25:38,070 --> 00:25:39,839 - I know, man. I'm sorry. - You see? 560 00:25:39,939 --> 00:25:42,441 - I'm sorry. - Nothing, right? She's not here. See? 561 00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:44,977 I didn't... I didn't mean to run up all in here 562 00:25:45,077 --> 00:25:47,522 yeah, you come up here, rushing up here to a white man's house... 563 00:25:47,546 --> 00:25:50,249 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just forgive me. 564 00:25:50,349 --> 00:25:51,884 - I'm... - All right, brother. 565 00:25:51,984 --> 00:25:54,520 - Boy! Shit. - I'll see you next week though, okay? 566 00:25:54,621 --> 00:25:56,623 - All right. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 567 00:26:03,495 --> 00:26:05,397 ( Sighs ) it's okay. He's gone. 568 00:26:05,497 --> 00:26:07,834 ( Sighs ) thank god. 569 00:26:07,934 --> 00:26:09,802 ( Sighs ) 570 00:26:10,770 --> 00:26:13,773 ( Gasps ) what the hell?! 571 00:26:17,176 --> 00:26:19,145 Okay. Now come on. Get in the car. Get in the car. 572 00:26:19,245 --> 00:26:21,456 We getting the hell out of here and we ain't never coming back. 573 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,083 You got me twisted, I.D., okay? 574 00:26:24,183 --> 00:26:26,128 Give your ass a little bit of a taste of chocolate, 575 00:26:26,152 --> 00:26:27,630 and next thing you know, you cheating on me?! 576 00:26:27,654 --> 00:26:29,321 That's right. I saw your ass, 577 00:26:29,421 --> 00:26:33,125 you cheating, no-good, bald-headed motherfucker! I'm out! 578 00:26:34,727 --> 00:26:37,930 Fuck you, Larry David! That's some bullshit! 579 00:26:41,868 --> 00:26:43,703 Somebody got on your ass. What happened? 580 00:26:43,803 --> 00:26:46,605 They're gone. We had a big fight. 581 00:26:46,706 --> 00:26:48,675 They're not coming back. 582 00:26:48,775 --> 00:26:50,476 - What? - Yeah. 583 00:26:50,576 --> 00:26:52,879 - Huh. - How do you like that? 584 00:26:52,979 --> 00:26:54,981 That's some shit right there. Mmm. 585 00:26:55,081 --> 00:26:57,316 So, um... 586 00:26:57,416 --> 00:26:59,618 I guess this means you'll be... 587 00:26:59,719 --> 00:27:03,155 Going upstairs, eat this fucking Chinese food... 588 00:27:03,255 --> 00:27:05,157 In my fucking room. 589 00:27:15,301 --> 00:27:16,803 Hey, Lewis, it's me. 590 00:27:16,903 --> 00:27:18,437 I'm on my way to Michael York's. 591 00:27:18,537 --> 00:27:20,139 Maybe I'll see you there. 592 00:27:20,239 --> 00:27:22,641 Otherwise, I'll talk to you tomorrow. 593 00:27:22,742 --> 00:27:25,144 Okay, bye. 594 00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:28,014 Holy shit. 595 00:27:29,782 --> 00:27:31,851 Oh my god. 596 00:27:31,951 --> 00:27:34,286 ( Radiator hissing ) 597 00:27:38,324 --> 00:27:39,759 - Jeff?! - ( yells ) 598 00:27:39,859 --> 00:27:41,260 - Jesus Christ! - Larry! 599 00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:42,594 - What the hell? - Whoa! 600 00:27:42,695 --> 00:27:44,263 - I can't believe it. - ( Yells ) 601 00:27:44,363 --> 00:27:46,208 - What are we going to do? - Oy, I can't believe this! 602 00:27:46,232 --> 00:27:48,735 - What the... jeez! - All right! Enough! 603 00:27:48,835 --> 00:27:50,069 She was giving you a blowjob?! 604 00:27:50,169 --> 00:27:51,570 Okay, yeah, we know what it is. 605 00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:52,948 - Jesus Christ! - All right, stop it! 606 00:27:52,972 --> 00:27:54,841 - Larry... - I'm stuck. I'm stuck. 607 00:27:54,941 --> 00:27:56,384 - I can't get the seat belt off. - Can you help us? 608 00:27:56,408 --> 00:27:58,745 - I bought an x-acto knife! - An x-acto knife! 609 00:27:58,845 --> 00:28:00,222 - It's in the car! - Go get it! Go get it! 610 00:28:00,246 --> 00:28:02,314 - Great! Go get it! Yeah! - I'll cut the seat belt! 611 00:28:02,414 --> 00:28:05,417 - Susie: Hurry! - I told you those blowjobs were dangerous. 612 00:28:05,517 --> 00:28:07,319 - Come on! - Get the fucking knife! 613 00:28:07,419 --> 00:28:09,889 - ( Mumbles ) - fuck! 614 00:28:09,989 --> 00:28:12,859 Susie: Oh, Jeff, I can't move! 615 00:28:14,226 --> 00:28:17,563 - Hurry! - No! 616 00:28:17,663 --> 00:28:20,699 - Jeff: Come on! - Susie: Get it! 617 00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,002 - ( Yells ) - susie: Get the fucking knife! 618 00:28:23,102 --> 00:28:26,305 - Jeff: Oh, come on! - Susie: What the fuck is taking so long? 619 00:28:26,405 --> 00:28:29,508 - ( Yelling ) - Jeff: Come on! 620 00:28:29,608 --> 00:28:31,878 Susie: Oh my god, I smell gas! 621 00:28:33,512 --> 00:28:35,915 ( Theme music playing )