1 00:00:06,500 --> 00:00:08,567 ( Theme music playing ) 2 00:00:15,367 --> 00:00:17,833 Well, thanks... Thanks for coming over. 3 00:00:17,867 --> 00:00:20,233 - Ah, you know, please. - You've been... 4 00:00:20,267 --> 00:00:22,367 You look fantastic. Look at you. 5 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:24,276 Really?! - you never looked better in your life. 6 00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:27,700 - Oh, thank you. - You're a lucky man, you're a blessed man. 7 00:00:27,733 --> 00:00:30,467 Well, you know, I took, uh... 8 00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:33,267 I took care of myself. I was never an alcoholic 9 00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:34,900 or a drug addict. 10 00:00:34,933 --> 00:00:37,733 Never slept with a lot strange women. Although I wanted to, 11 00:00:37,767 --> 00:00:40,567 they wouldn't... you know... 12 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,667 I need a kidney, man. 13 00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:45,667 Where am I gonna find someone who loves me enough just to give me a kidney? 14 00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:49,533 Come on, you took the test. You're a match. Are you gonna give me the kidney or not? 15 00:00:49,567 --> 00:00:51,743 - I'm struggling. - Well, what's wrong with Louis Lewis? 16 00:00:51,767 --> 00:00:53,143 - I mean, he's... he's in this... - Oh, please. 17 00:00:53,167 --> 00:00:55,500 Coma in the hospital. How long can he go on? 18 00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:58,133 - And he's family. - He's in a coma. 19 00:00:58,167 --> 00:01:00,133 Comas are unpredictable for Christ's sake. 20 00:01:00,167 --> 00:01:02,066 Who the hell fucking knows? 21 00:01:02,067 --> 00:01:04,233 Family. Fuck family. 22 00:01:04,267 --> 00:01:07,667 You know, and you know what's pissing me off? I'm so low on that list, 23 00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:10,700 that kidney transplant list. It's so unfair. 24 00:01:10,733 --> 00:01:13,200 Look at the Mick. I mean, the Mick... I love the guy, 25 00:01:13,233 --> 00:01:15,833 we were friends. Mantle got his liver just like that... 26 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,233 - Boom. - Yeah. Well, 27 00:01:17,267 --> 00:01:18,967 if you were a little bigger celebrity, 28 00:01:19,067 --> 00:01:21,867 you'd be on the top of the list too. 29 00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:26,333 Jesus Christ. By the way, that... see that ball? 30 00:01:26,367 --> 00:01:29,300 - That's the 500th home run that the Mick hit. - Really? 31 00:01:29,333 --> 00:01:31,373 Yeah, I'm leaving it... it's in my will. It's yours. 32 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,833 - No kidding. - Yeah. It's worth about 20 grand. I mean... 33 00:01:33,867 --> 00:01:35,209 - What?! - And you get the money too. 34 00:01:35,233 --> 00:01:37,067 I'm giving you the bread and the ball. 35 00:01:38,833 --> 00:01:40,167 Hey. 36 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,533 Hey, remember in camp, when you used to do... 37 00:01:42,567 --> 00:01:44,833 The Mick... do the Mick rounding the bases. 38 00:01:44,867 --> 00:01:46,733 Yeah. ( Laughs ) 39 00:01:46,767 --> 00:01:48,433 - That's Mickey's run. Yep. - Huh? 40 00:01:48,467 --> 00:01:49,967 - You look great. - Mickey mantle. 41 00:01:50,067 --> 00:01:51,667 Yeah, that's mantle. 42 00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:54,567 - Well, I'm gonna take off. - When are you coming back? 43 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:56,200 - Yeah, I'll come back. - Soon? 44 00:01:56,233 --> 00:01:57,467 Yeah. 45 00:01:57,500 --> 00:02:00,400 And let me ask you a question: You like this sweater? 46 00:02:00,433 --> 00:02:02,167 - How's it look? - You know, 47 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,400 if you're doing an Andy Williams summer show. 48 00:02:04,433 --> 00:02:07,100 ( Laughs ) see, you still got your sense of humor. 49 00:02:07,133 --> 00:02:10,767 - You still got it. - I love you, Larry. I really love you. 50 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,367 And if my cousin stays in that coma, 51 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,433 I'm depending on you. 52 00:02:16,833 --> 00:02:18,300 - Woman: Hi. - Larry: Hi. 53 00:02:18,333 --> 00:02:21,700 - I'm Lisa, his nurse. - Oh, I'm Larry. 54 00:02:21,733 --> 00:02:24,633 It was nice of him to give you his ball like that. 55 00:02:24,667 --> 00:02:27,267 - The ball, yeah... that's was very nice. - It was very good. 56 00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:30,467 Yeah. Hey, I wanted to tell you, you know? 57 00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:33,967 We have a mutual acquaintance. I know Jeff. 58 00:02:34,067 --> 00:02:36,867 - You know Jeff? - I do. Yeah yeah. 59 00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:38,700 We actually dated a little bit. 60 00:02:38,733 --> 00:02:40,833 Really?! - yeah, not too long. But uh... 61 00:02:40,867 --> 00:02:43,200 Yeah. - Wow. So did you have a good time with him? 62 00:02:43,233 --> 00:02:45,933 Well, until things got, you know, intimate, 63 00:02:45,967 --> 00:02:47,600 it was fun. You know, he's... 64 00:02:47,633 --> 00:02:50,200 He's kind of a "slam, bam, thank you, ma'am" kind of guy, right? 65 00:02:50,233 --> 00:02:51,700 - No, not really at all. - No? 66 00:02:51,733 --> 00:02:53,109 Oh! - No. No slamming, no bamming. 67 00:02:53,133 --> 00:02:56,066 - ( Chuckles ) - no thanking the ma'am. 68 00:02:56,067 --> 00:02:58,067 He's was a little... It was short lived, 69 00:02:58,100 --> 00:03:00,333 was the problem. 70 00:03:00,367 --> 00:03:03,933 He was like that. 71 00:03:03,967 --> 00:03:06,633 I mean, it was dark, but honest to god 72 00:03:06,667 --> 00:03:08,733 it was like that. 73 00:03:08,767 --> 00:03:10,533 What, are you kidding? 74 00:03:10,567 --> 00:03:12,667 Uh, no, I'm not kidding. 75 00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:16,267 Jeff?! - yeah, very small, very small. 76 00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:17,909 - It was like a peanut. That little... - all right. 77 00:03:17,933 --> 00:03:21,067 This is a very... you know, way too much information here, okay? 78 00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:22,933 I thought you knew... Would've known that. 79 00:03:22,967 --> 00:03:24,776 - How can I know such a thing? - I just would think 80 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,500 that that's something that friends... 81 00:03:27,533 --> 00:03:28,867 Men would talk about. 82 00:03:28,900 --> 00:03:30,609 - No, nobody ever talks about that. - Really? 83 00:03:30,633 --> 00:03:32,833 - No. - Sorry about that. 84 00:03:32,867 --> 00:03:35,533 I don't even know what to say to you, but... 85 00:03:35,567 --> 00:03:38,667 - I'll see you around. - Yeah yeah. 86 00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:40,967 - Yeah. - Huh. 87 00:03:47,133 --> 00:03:50,066 Comas are very unpredictable. 88 00:03:50,067 --> 00:03:53,100 Could wake up in five seconds, five minutes, 89 00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,467 five years! You don't know. You just don't know. 90 00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:58,333 They're unpredictable. 91 00:03:58,367 --> 00:04:02,100 - Oh! Didn't even tell you! - What? 92 00:04:02,133 --> 00:04:04,833 Ran into somebody you went out with. 93 00:04:04,867 --> 00:04:07,767 - Oh. - She's Lewis's nurse. 94 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,609 - Lisa Thompson? - Yeah. You had a little uh... 95 00:04:09,633 --> 00:04:12,133 - a little thing. Yeah. - A little thing with her, didn't you? 96 00:04:12,167 --> 00:04:14,500 - Yeah yeah yeah. - Hmm... 97 00:04:14,533 --> 00:04:16,800 - Didn't work out. - Yeah. 98 00:04:18,067 --> 00:04:20,367 She told me you had... 99 00:04:21,433 --> 00:04:23,567 - Uh... - what? 100 00:04:25,967 --> 00:04:28,800 No no no. 101 00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:31,067 - Big vagina?! - Gigantic vagina! 102 00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:34,233 What?! - biggest vagina known to man! 103 00:04:34,267 --> 00:04:35,633 - Huge! - You're kidding. 104 00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:39,700 - Are you telling me the truth? - It's gigantic. 105 00:04:39,733 --> 00:04:42,633 Gigantic. - So why is she going around making this accusation? 106 00:04:42,667 --> 00:04:44,733 Because maybe she's afraid that you'll find out 107 00:04:44,767 --> 00:04:46,243 she has a big vagina. Why would would she even do that? 108 00:04:46,267 --> 00:04:48,200 - I don't even know. - Nipping it in the bud? 109 00:04:48,233 --> 00:04:50,667 How dare she? I'll tell you what. 110 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:53,233 I bet you there's a ton of guys out there 111 00:04:53,267 --> 00:04:55,400 who've been labeled with "small penis." 112 00:04:55,433 --> 00:04:57,400 - I bet you 50%... - It's the vagina, isn't it? 113 00:04:57,433 --> 00:04:59,409 - And it's the big vagina. - Yeah. Think of it biologically... 114 00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:03,200 Why should there be as many big vaginas as there are small penises, right? 115 00:05:03,233 --> 00:05:05,733 These big vagina ladies are getting away with murder. 116 00:05:05,767 --> 00:05:08,133 Something should be done. I don't know what can be done, 117 00:05:08,167 --> 00:05:10,043 but something should be done. Either... - you know what? 118 00:05:10,067 --> 00:05:11,743 - We're a hell of lot more discrete than they are, right? - Oh, man, they... 119 00:05:11,767 --> 00:05:13,643 - Larry: They can't do this enough, can they? - Oh, they love it, 120 00:05:13,667 --> 00:05:16,700 - they love it. - They love this thing. Well, you know what? 121 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,700 This is me from now on. 122 00:05:19,933 --> 00:05:22,167 Yeah. 123 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,133 Hello, doctor. 124 00:05:24,167 --> 00:05:26,533 Oh. Hi, doctor. 125 00:05:28,633 --> 00:05:32,200 - How's he doing? - You know how's he doing. 126 00:05:32,233 --> 00:05:35,067 I'm on to you, Mr. David. 127 00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:37,800 - Excuse me. - The frequent visits, 128 00:05:37,833 --> 00:05:39,767 the questions about organs, come on. 129 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:43,066 I'm not crazy. I'm chief of staff here. I know what's going on. 130 00:05:43,067 --> 00:05:45,700 What's going on? 131 00:05:45,733 --> 00:05:49,300 I think you've been waiting for this man to die 132 00:05:49,333 --> 00:05:53,100 so you can get one of his organs, preferably his kidney, 133 00:05:53,133 --> 00:05:55,500 so you won't have to give up one, 134 00:05:55,533 --> 00:05:57,500 so that Mr. Lewis can get it. 135 00:05:57,533 --> 00:05:59,533 What kind of person would do something like that? 136 00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:02,167 I think you know what kind of person would do that, Mr. David. 137 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:04,233 - A kind of person like me?! - Yes. 138 00:06:04,267 --> 00:06:06,400 ( Sighs ) 139 00:06:07,933 --> 00:06:10,400 That's pretty good... Pretty good work. 140 00:06:10,433 --> 00:06:13,933 - Thank you, thank you. - He got me. 141 00:06:13,967 --> 00:06:16,967 Good job, doctor. I think you got me. 142 00:06:17,067 --> 00:06:19,367 I got ya. 143 00:06:21,433 --> 00:06:24,600 By the way, my in-laws can't go skiing, 144 00:06:24,633 --> 00:06:27,867 so I've got an opening for you and Cheryl if you want it. 145 00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:29,933 - Why would I go skiing? - Come on. 146 00:06:29,967 --> 00:06:33,067 No, it's a big schlep. Hey... 147 00:06:34,767 --> 00:06:37,700 Isn't that George Lopez? 148 00:06:37,733 --> 00:06:40,533 - He had a kidney transplant. - Right. Right right right right. 149 00:06:42,467 --> 00:06:44,300 Huh? - Get some inside information? 150 00:06:47,967 --> 00:06:50,500 - Hey, George. - What's going on, Larry? How're you doing? 151 00:06:50,533 --> 00:06:52,133 - Good. How are you? - Good, brother. 152 00:06:52,167 --> 00:06:53,243 - This is Jeff Greene, my manager. - Jeff: How are you? 153 00:06:53,267 --> 00:06:54,233 Hey, Jeff. George Lopez. 154 00:06:54,267 --> 00:06:55,700 - Jeff: Pleasure. - How's it going? 155 00:06:55,733 --> 00:06:58,700 Good. Feel great, better than I have ever in my life. 156 00:06:58,733 --> 00:07:00,233 - Larry: Really? - Yeah. 157 00:07:00,267 --> 00:07:02,143 I had a kidney transplant. My wife gave it to me. 158 00:07:02,167 --> 00:07:04,066 Changed my whole life, man. I mean, without it, 159 00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:06,143 I don't even know if I'd be alive, to tell you the truth. 160 00:07:06,167 --> 00:07:08,267 You know, uh, Richard Lewis needs one. 161 00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:10,700 - I didn't know that. Ooh, man. Poor Richard. - Yeah, yeah. 162 00:07:10,733 --> 00:07:12,776 Wow. Well, he's got to go to his family or his friends. 163 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,066 Somebody's gotta step up. 164 00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:15,543 - Oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah. - Oh, yeah yeah yeah. 165 00:07:15,567 --> 00:07:17,700 - Larry: That's true. - Like a five-year waiting list. 166 00:07:17,733 --> 00:07:21,367 So what do you think he should do? 'Cause he's like on the bottom of the list. 167 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,667 Well, if you're the bottom of the list, you're fucked. 168 00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:26,833 - Wow. - But you know what? 169 00:07:29,367 --> 00:07:33,100 Like, I've heard that the guy who's the head of the kidney consortium 170 00:07:33,133 --> 00:07:35,533 - can be gotten to. - Really? 171 00:07:35,567 --> 00:07:38,367 Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean, he really takes care of his friends. 172 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:42,100 Buddy up to him. Kiss his ass. Who knows? 173 00:07:42,133 --> 00:07:43,867 Probably move Richard up the list. 174 00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:45,700 - Really? - Wow. 175 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:47,709 - All right, I got to get blood drawn. - Thanks, George. 176 00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:49,176 - Nice meeting you. Take care, dude. - Nice meeting you, George. 177 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:52,066 - Jeff: Take care. - Oh, hey, George. What's his name? 178 00:07:52,067 --> 00:07:54,400 Ben heineman. 179 00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:57,700 - With an e or a y? - With an e. 180 00:08:01,233 --> 00:08:02,800 Larry: Hey, Mr. Jones. 181 00:08:02,833 --> 00:08:05,667 There's actually something else you could do for me too. 182 00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:07,567 - Really? - It's unrelated to the adoption. 183 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:11,333 - I need some information about a Ben heineman. - "Ben heineman." 184 00:08:11,367 --> 00:08:14,133 - He's the head of the kidney consortium. - Okay. 185 00:08:14,167 --> 00:08:17,100 Anything you can find out about his guy would be fantastic... 186 00:08:17,133 --> 00:08:19,800 - H-e-i-n-e-m-a-n. - Yeah, I got it. 187 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,167 Well, "heineman" could be spelled a couple different ways. 188 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,667 - Hi. - Hey. 189 00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:25,233 - Oh, this is my wife. - I'm Cheryl. 190 00:08:25,267 --> 00:08:27,243 - This is Omar Jones, private investigator. - Mrs. David. 191 00:08:27,267 --> 00:08:29,967 - Oh, right. - He's working on the whole adoption thing. 192 00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:31,943 Right. Yeah. I'm making some great headway also. 193 00:08:31,967 --> 00:08:34,066 - Oh, fantastic. - Okay, couple of weeks, 194 00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:35,609 - you should know something very definitive. - Larry: Great. 195 00:08:35,633 --> 00:08:37,209 - Cheryl: Great, okay. - Omar: Enjoy your day. 196 00:08:37,233 --> 00:08:39,800 - Thank you. You too. - Thank you. 197 00:08:39,833 --> 00:08:41,967 - You're welcome. - I, uh... 198 00:08:42,067 --> 00:08:43,600 I got you something. 199 00:08:43,633 --> 00:08:47,133 - Wow! New jacket? - It's nice, right? Yeah. 200 00:08:47,167 --> 00:08:50,533 - Yes, I needed this. - You're gonna need it when we go skiing 201 00:08:50,567 --> 00:08:52,376 - with susie and Jeff. - Skiing? Are you kidding? 202 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,067 Come on, that's out. I nixed that. 203 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,833 Look, you don't have to ski. 204 00:08:55,867 --> 00:08:57,733 You can sit inside and enjoy the snow. 205 00:08:57,767 --> 00:08:59,633 I'm not going up to that lodge. Come on, man. 206 00:08:59,667 --> 00:09:02,400 Why? - Too much schlepping. I'm not... 207 00:09:02,433 --> 00:09:05,067 He left something. What is this? 208 00:09:08,333 --> 00:09:11,133 Edible undies? 209 00:09:11,167 --> 00:09:13,633 Oh, dear. 210 00:09:31,067 --> 00:09:33,900 Larry: Okay, big yankee fan. He's an orthodox Jew. 211 00:09:33,933 --> 00:09:35,833 All right, what else you got? 212 00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:38,367 Drives a gold Cadillac. 213 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:42,133 License plate number 2-f-a-n-3-2-1. 214 00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:44,467 Okay, thank you. 215 00:09:46,267 --> 00:09:48,133 - Hey. - Hey. 216 00:09:48,167 --> 00:09:52,067 - So Omar Jones the private investigator? - Yeah? 217 00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:55,066 He got me information about the head of the kidney consortium. 218 00:09:55,067 --> 00:09:56,600 - Guess what? - What? 219 00:09:56,633 --> 00:09:58,633 - He's an orthodox Jew. - You're kidding. 220 00:09:58,667 --> 00:10:01,700 No. So... 221 00:10:01,733 --> 00:10:03,700 What needs to be done here is 222 00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:07,000 that I need to somehow befriend this guy. 223 00:10:07,033 --> 00:10:10,800 I need to get close to him quickly. 224 00:10:10,833 --> 00:10:13,233 Right? Yeah. How're you gonna do that? 225 00:10:13,267 --> 00:10:16,233 - If I could save his life or something. - Uh-huh. 226 00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:18,400 You know, like... bad example, okay? Not this. 227 00:10:18,433 --> 00:10:21,067 You know, you pushed him off a building... ( Laughs ) 228 00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:22,709 - I push him off the building. - And I saved him. 229 00:10:22,733 --> 00:10:24,667 - And you would catch him. - And I catch him. 230 00:10:24,700 --> 00:10:26,767 Yeah? He would be indebted to me for life. 231 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,376 Yeah. He would do anything I asked him, 232 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,567 like put my friend on the top of the kidney list. 233 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:33,567 And at no point, he says to you, "hey, what about the fat guy" 234 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,433 - "that just threw me off the roof?" - No. 235 00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:38,833 - That would never come up. - I said it's bad version. You know, bad version. 236 00:10:38,867 --> 00:10:41,133 - Really bad version. - But I need to save his life. 237 00:10:41,167 --> 00:10:42,533 - Something like that. - Yeah yeah. 238 00:10:42,567 --> 00:10:45,633 Yeah yeah yeah yeah. 239 00:10:45,667 --> 00:10:48,367 Well... ( sniffs ) 240 00:10:51,167 --> 00:10:53,433 - This isn't bad. - What? 241 00:11:02,167 --> 00:11:03,800 - Larry: That's it. - Jeff: The Cadillac? 242 00:11:03,833 --> 00:11:05,376 Larry: Gold... the gold Cadillac. See it? 243 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:09,133 - Jeff: Uh-huh. - Go check the license. 244 00:11:09,167 --> 00:11:11,167 Yeah, that's it. 245 00:11:13,833 --> 00:11:15,800 ( Laughs ) ready? 246 00:11:15,833 --> 00:11:17,233 Yeah, as ready as I'm gonna be. 247 00:11:17,267 --> 00:11:19,167 Whenever you want, go ahead. 248 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:22,567 - Jeff: This is crazy. Let's go. - All right. 249 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:26,067 - ( Jeff groans ) - Larry: All right. 250 00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:36,500 - It's like you didn't even hit it. - Let's try it again. 251 00:11:36,533 --> 00:11:38,567 You try it again. I don't want whiplash. 252 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:42,066 No. You do it. 253 00:11:42,067 --> 00:11:44,133 - Keep a lookout. - I'm keeping a lookout. 254 00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:51,933 - Anybody coming? - No, we're fine. 255 00:11:54,333 --> 00:11:57,067 ( Engine revs ) 256 00:12:01,367 --> 00:12:03,933 Oh my god. ( Laughs ) 257 00:12:03,967 --> 00:12:08,567 - Here, come on. Be careful. - ( Groans ) 258 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,400 - Oh my god. - ( Groans ) 259 00:12:10,433 --> 00:12:13,267 Are you all right? 260 00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:15,600 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I think I'm okay. 261 00:12:15,633 --> 00:12:18,433 Holy shit, it's all over your glasses, your whole face. 262 00:12:18,467 --> 00:12:21,066 Oh my god. 263 00:12:21,067 --> 00:12:23,067 - Jeff: Oh, there. You did it. - It worked. 264 00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:25,133 Yes. 265 00:12:27,267 --> 00:12:29,933 Jeff: All right, good. Let's get out of here. Come on. 266 00:12:42,567 --> 00:12:43,933 - Mr... - Mr. David? 267 00:12:43,967 --> 00:12:46,433 - Mr. heineman. - How are you, sir? 268 00:12:46,467 --> 00:12:50,300 What a great great pleasure to meet you. 269 00:12:50,333 --> 00:12:51,609 Well, it's nice to meet you. ( Speaks Hebrew ) 270 00:12:51,633 --> 00:12:54,100 - Sit down, please. - Thank you. 271 00:12:54,133 --> 00:12:57,267 - So? - I'm sorry I'm a little late, 272 00:12:57,300 --> 00:12:59,309 uh, you know... - ( Speaks Hebrew ) it's not a big problem. 273 00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:01,600 - ( Mimicking Hebrew ) - ( speaks Hebrew ) 274 00:13:05,467 --> 00:13:08,667 What a mitzvah it was for you to leave that note on my car. 275 00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:11,067 Well, how could I do anything less that that? 276 00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:14,200 I'd have to be a sociopath to hit somebody's car 277 00:13:14,233 --> 00:13:17,300 and then, and then go away into the night as if nothing happened. 278 00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:20,067 - Thank you, thank you. - What happened, 279 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,733 I was listening to Jewish radio 280 00:13:22,767 --> 00:13:24,300 and they were talking about Israel 281 00:13:24,333 --> 00:13:27,533 and I got so worked up I lost control of my car. 282 00:13:27,567 --> 00:13:29,076 - May I offer you some lunch? - Please. 283 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:31,533 Morty, menus, please. 284 00:13:31,567 --> 00:13:33,476 - It's kosher, you know that. - ( Cell phone rings ) 285 00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:36,167 Oh. Let's see, wait a second. 286 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,700 Hello? 287 00:13:38,733 --> 00:13:42,800 No no no no no. Uh, thank you, thank you for that invitation, 288 00:13:42,833 --> 00:13:46,600 but I cannot go to the baseball game on the sabbath, 289 00:13:46,633 --> 00:13:48,867 I'm sorry. It's impossible. 290 00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:51,633 I'll take a rain check, however. 291 00:13:51,667 --> 00:13:53,900 Ho ho ho ho, okay. 292 00:13:55,433 --> 00:13:57,376 I'd love to go to the game, but not on the sabbath. 293 00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,333 The Yankees are playing and I would... 294 00:13:59,367 --> 00:14:01,376 - I would kill to go down there. - You're a yankee fan. 295 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:04,367 Oh, I'm a yankee fan... I'm a huge yankee fan. 296 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:08,233 - I love the Yankees. - You love the Yankees?! 297 00:14:08,267 --> 00:14:10,543 There's so many times when the Yankees were playing in anaheim 298 00:14:10,567 --> 00:14:12,467 that I've so much wanted to go to see it. 299 00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:14,909 I even cheat by watching it on television. I shouldn't do that. 300 00:14:14,933 --> 00:14:17,433 - Whoa, whoa, whoa... - Shh. 301 00:14:17,467 --> 00:14:19,867 ( Speaks Hebrew ) 302 00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:23,333 - ( Mimics Hebrew ) - ( laughing ) 303 00:14:23,367 --> 00:14:26,533 ( Speaks Hebrew ) there are two things in my life that I love. 304 00:14:26,567 --> 00:14:29,600 Besides family and my work 305 00:14:29,633 --> 00:14:31,433 - I love baseball. Love baseball. - Uh-huh. 306 00:14:31,467 --> 00:14:33,433 Especially Yankees. I love to ski. 307 00:14:33,467 --> 00:14:36,066 ( Stammers ) 308 00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:38,267 My yarmulke almost fell off, I'm so taken aback. 309 00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:41,067 - What? - Skiing. You said skiing? 310 00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:43,509 - Yeah. Well, I'm not that good, but I like... - I'm not so good myself, 311 00:14:43,533 --> 00:14:45,400 - but I love it. - You love it? 312 00:14:45,433 --> 00:14:47,667 Oh... my favorite thing to do in life. 313 00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:51,233 - ( Speaks Hebrew ) - ( mimics Hebrew ) 314 00:14:51,267 --> 00:14:53,633 Isn't that a wonderful coincidence? 315 00:14:53,667 --> 00:14:55,767 - I have a little ski lodge. - Really? 316 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:59,400 Yes. I would love to invite you 317 00:14:59,433 --> 00:15:03,067 to go skiing. My goodness, what a wonderful gesture. 318 00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:07,167 - Larry: Hello. - Hello. 319 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,367 - Welcome back. - So... 320 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:12,067 You know, I spoke to our mutual friend. 321 00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:14,200 - Oh, good. Did you say hello for me? - I did. 322 00:15:14,233 --> 00:15:16,333 - Oh, great, thank you. - I did say hello, 323 00:15:16,367 --> 00:15:21,133 and I couldn't help but mention the... 324 00:15:21,167 --> 00:15:24,967 The whole kind of small penis thing. It came out. 325 00:15:25,067 --> 00:15:28,233 - Oh my gosh, was he upset? - Not at all, not at all. 326 00:15:28,267 --> 00:15:29,800 - No. - Really? 327 00:15:29,833 --> 00:15:33,533 In fact, he had a completely different take on it than you. 328 00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:38,933 He said the problem didn't lie with his small penis, 329 00:15:38,967 --> 00:15:40,967 but rather... 330 00:15:41,067 --> 00:15:42,967 With your big vagina. 331 00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:48,367 - Is that what he did?! - Yeah. 332 00:15:49,567 --> 00:15:51,267 - Big. - This is my vagina? 333 00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:54,100 Huge. Huge. 334 00:15:54,133 --> 00:15:56,400 Are you kidding? I don't have a big vagina. 335 00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:58,700 - You got the huge vagina. - Oh, do I? 336 00:15:58,733 --> 00:16:00,243 You're blaming the small penis, - yeah... 337 00:16:00,267 --> 00:16:03,500 You got the huge vagina. It's not necessary. 338 00:16:03,533 --> 00:16:05,143 I made a little... You're the one that egged it... 339 00:16:05,167 --> 00:16:08,066 Methinks the lady doth protest too much. 340 00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:10,400 Hm. 341 00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:16,367 This guy is the head of the whole kidney consortium. 342 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:19,367 I can get you to the top of the list. I'm not kidding. 343 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:22,233 I got him eating out of my hand. He's going skiing with me. 344 00:16:22,267 --> 00:16:24,400 Holy shit. That would be unbelievable! 345 00:16:24,433 --> 00:16:26,267 You know what would really cinch it? 346 00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:28,700 He's a yankee fan... Big Mickey mantle fan. 347 00:16:28,733 --> 00:16:30,267 Let me give him the Mickey mantle ball. 348 00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:33,467 You're out of your fucking mind? You don't want it? 349 00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:35,333 - I'm nuts? - You don't want it anymore? 350 00:16:35,367 --> 00:16:38,066 Give that guy the Mickey mantle ball, it's done, it's over. 351 00:16:38,067 --> 00:16:39,707 All right, give it to him. Give it to him. 352 00:16:43,167 --> 00:16:45,700 - Hey. - What? 353 00:16:45,733 --> 00:16:48,867 - Where's the ball? - I don't know. 354 00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,767 What? Look, maybe it rolled off. 355 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,667 Look behind the picture. 356 00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:54,700 - Is it there? - No. 357 00:16:54,733 --> 00:16:56,967 - You're kidding me. - No. 358 00:16:57,067 --> 00:16:59,133 Jesus Christ. 359 00:16:59,167 --> 00:17:01,066 Oh, Mickey. 360 00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:03,433 Goddamn it! ( Coughs ) 361 00:17:03,467 --> 00:17:05,700 - Oh, shit. - Who's been here? 362 00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:09,400 Who's been here? Lisa, the nurse, a couple of close friends and you. 363 00:17:09,433 --> 00:17:11,433 It's no way my friends are gonna take anything, 364 00:17:11,467 --> 00:17:13,867 and her... I see her leave with the same uniform. 365 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:16,400 She has no pockets. I mean, if she, if she hid a ball in there, 366 00:17:16,433 --> 00:17:18,367 it would look like an elephant tumor. 367 00:17:19,367 --> 00:17:20,867 Unless... 368 00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:23,933 Oh, hey. 369 00:17:26,167 --> 00:17:27,600 There was a Mickey mantle ball, 370 00:17:27,633 --> 00:17:30,400 his 500th home run 371 00:17:30,433 --> 00:17:32,500 right over over there, 372 00:17:32,533 --> 00:17:35,600 and it's missing. 373 00:17:35,633 --> 00:17:39,900 - Have you seen it? - No, I have not. 374 00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:43,633 Hmm, it's kind of curious, given that... 375 00:17:43,667 --> 00:17:47,067 Nobody else has been in the house, save for a few friends. 376 00:17:51,733 --> 00:17:56,066 Could a ball worth an excess of $20,000 377 00:17:56,067 --> 00:17:58,767 just disappear into thin air? 378 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,200 Wanna tell me what you're driving at? 379 00:18:03,233 --> 00:18:05,333 I'll tell you what I'm driving at. 380 00:18:05,367 --> 00:18:08,066 I submit you took that baseball, 381 00:18:08,067 --> 00:18:11,133 stashed it in your unusually large vagina, 382 00:18:11,167 --> 00:18:13,200 and walked right on out of here! 383 00:18:19,967 --> 00:18:21,609 - Jeff: Let me tell you something. - Susie: Yeah? 384 00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:23,567 - This bread... - Good bread, right? 385 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,476 My second piece... I'm surprised you're even letting me. 386 00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:28,700 - The bread and the croutons. - Hey, by the way, have you seen my cell phone? 387 00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:30,700 - No. - No? 388 00:18:30,733 --> 00:18:32,867 - You can't find it? - No. 389 00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:34,609 - No, it's gone. - We'll look again when we get home. 390 00:18:34,633 --> 00:18:38,400 Oh, remember? 391 00:18:38,433 --> 00:18:41,533 - You invited me to the ski lodge? - Yeah. 392 00:18:41,567 --> 00:18:43,933 - I've changed my mind. - Jeff: Gonna go? 393 00:18:43,967 --> 00:18:45,733 - Really? - We... I'd like to go. 394 00:18:45,767 --> 00:18:48,700 - Susie: Great. Oh that'll be great. - You didn't tell me that. 395 00:18:48,733 --> 00:18:51,200 We're gonna have a great time skiing, snowboarding maybe. 396 00:18:51,233 --> 00:18:53,309 - I would love to try snowboarding. - Yeah, I'm gonna try it. 397 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:55,767 - I'm gonna take a lesson. - Yes, we'll take a lesson. 398 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:57,733 - That's good. - That's fun. You'll like that. 399 00:18:57,767 --> 00:19:00,066 - Cheryl: Oh my gosh. - I'm not gonna snowboard. 400 00:19:00,067 --> 00:19:02,500 - Cheryl: That's okay. - Oh, and I hope you don't mind, 401 00:19:02,533 --> 00:19:05,133 but, ahem... I've also 402 00:19:05,167 --> 00:19:07,167 taken the Liberty, with your permission, 403 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:10,633 of inviting an orthodox Jew and his daughter. 404 00:19:10,667 --> 00:19:13,700 Wait, what do you mean, an orthodox... an orthodox Jew and his daughter? 405 00:19:13,733 --> 00:19:15,600 Where? To stay in the chalet with us? 406 00:19:15,633 --> 00:19:16,800 - Okay. - The guy? 407 00:19:16,833 --> 00:19:18,600 - The guy, yeah. - Women: What guy? 408 00:19:18,633 --> 00:19:22,533 Okay, he's the head of the kidney consortium 409 00:19:22,567 --> 00:19:26,200 and I'm trying to get Richard Lewis moved up on the list. 410 00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:29,400 Let's be realistic. You're trying to get Lewis moved up on the list 411 00:19:29,433 --> 00:19:32,433 - or you're trying to save your own kidney? - What's the difference? 412 00:19:32,467 --> 00:19:35,066 - Let's be clear here on what it's about. - Okay, fine. 413 00:19:35,067 --> 00:19:36,709 - I don't wanna give him my own kidney. - I don't know if I want 414 00:19:36,733 --> 00:19:38,776 - to spend a weekend with these people. - Why would you take them... 415 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,066 Forget the whole thing. I don't want my kidney. 416 00:19:41,067 --> 00:19:43,143 - Susie: You know what? You... - He can have my kidney! 417 00:19:43,167 --> 00:19:45,509 I'll walk around with a dialysis machine. That will be fine! 418 00:19:45,533 --> 00:19:49,300 - That's fine. Don't worry about it. - If you gotta do it, 419 00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:52,267 - you gotta do it. It is okay. Fine. - Thank you. Thank you. 420 00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:53,543 We don't have a choice. You invited them. 421 00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:56,567 Jeff: We don't have a choice, but it's a mitzvah. 422 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,676 - You spend time with them. - Cheryl: I'm not going to hang out with them all day. 423 00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:04,333 - Unfortunately, that's not the worst of the situation. - Jeff: What? 424 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,700 - She's a wonderful cook, isn't she? My susie? - Susie: My pleasure. 425 00:20:13,733 --> 00:20:18,100 - Isn't she? Isn't she some cook? - How did you two meet? 426 00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:21,367 - Larry: Interesting, interesting. - Uh, we met at a hillel... 427 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,667 - Mixer, a function. - Oh, in college? 428 00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:28,300 Yes, a singles and he was there trying to pick up every girl imaginable. 429 00:20:28,333 --> 00:20:30,867 - I was pretty swinging in those days. - Susie: Yes. 430 00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:33,133 Larry: I was in the band, okay? 431 00:20:33,167 --> 00:20:36,300 The girls were pretty interested, you know? 432 00:20:36,333 --> 00:20:38,000 With the guitar, they liked that. 433 00:20:38,033 --> 00:20:39,709 - Susie: Not true, not true. - Like a rock band? 434 00:20:39,733 --> 00:20:41,476 - Larry: Jewish folk music, Jewish folk songs. - Susie: Folk, folk. 435 00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:46,733 - Girl: Like what songs? - Um, "gefilte fish blues"... 436 00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:50,167 Um, "my freaking back is killing me and" 437 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:51,933 it's making it hard to kvell"... 438 00:20:51,967 --> 00:20:55,733 - Uh, what was the name of your band? - "The hipsters." 439 00:20:55,767 --> 00:20:57,167 Susie: Yes, it was "the hipsters." 440 00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,267 - "Larry David and the hipsters." - Susie: Yeah. 441 00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:01,700 And then, I left the hipsters, 442 00:21:01,733 --> 00:21:03,376 - and I just became Larry David. - Susie: Larry David. 443 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,233 Larry: And the hipsters went out on their own. 444 00:21:05,267 --> 00:21:07,967 - And they became quite successful. - Susie: Yes. 445 00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:10,667 Susie: But I wasn't attracted to him from the band. 446 00:21:10,700 --> 00:21:12,800 - Honestly, I felt sorry for him. - Ben: Why? 447 00:21:12,833 --> 00:21:15,633 That's was the... ( Speaks Hebrew ) 448 00:21:15,667 --> 00:21:18,733 It was an attraction out of pity 'cause I'm always the one 449 00:21:18,767 --> 00:21:20,533 to take in stray animals, you know, that's... 450 00:21:20,567 --> 00:21:22,576 You remind me a little of my wife... ( Speaks Hebrew ) 451 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,333 - Oh, how lovely. - I would like to meet her at some point. 452 00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:28,167 Well, she's passed away a number of years ago. 453 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,333 - Girl: Six years. - Susie: Six years? Difficult. 454 00:21:30,367 --> 00:21:33,600 - Eh... - girl: Very. 455 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:37,933 Larry: So, anyway, enough about us. 456 00:21:37,967 --> 00:21:41,767 - What do you do? - I'm the head of a foundation 457 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:45,067 that finds kidneys for... 458 00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:47,200 - Needy recipients. - Girl: Global. 459 00:21:47,233 --> 00:21:51,600 A very, very dear friend of mine actually... 460 00:21:51,633 --> 00:21:53,243 - Ben: Needs a kidney. - Needs a kidneys and he's... 461 00:21:53,267 --> 00:21:55,676 - Ben: Sorry. - He's on the bottom of the list, Richard Lewis, 462 00:21:55,700 --> 00:21:58,067 - perhaps you heard? - Yes, I have. 463 00:21:58,100 --> 00:21:59,709 - Susie: Wonderful comedian. - Wears black all the time. 464 00:21:59,733 --> 00:22:02,100 - Susie: Yes, yeah. - I would give him my own kidney, 465 00:22:02,133 --> 00:22:04,767 - if only we were a match, but unfortunately... - Girl: Yeah. 466 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,567 - That's alas, that is not the case. - Ben: That's god's will. 467 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:09,066 - Girl: Of course. - ( Speaks Hebrew ) 468 00:22:09,067 --> 00:22:12,133 ( Mimics Hebrew ) 469 00:22:12,167 --> 00:22:15,900 - Excuse me? - ( Mimics Hebrew ) 470 00:22:46,967 --> 00:22:49,833 ( Gasping ) 471 00:23:13,933 --> 00:23:16,067 ( Hisses ) what the fuck? What are you doing?! 472 00:23:16,100 --> 00:23:18,276 - What do you think you're doing? - I'm not doing anything. 473 00:23:18,300 --> 00:23:20,400 - What are you doing in bed with me? - My back hurts. 474 00:23:20,433 --> 00:23:22,309 I don't give a shit. Do you think I care about your back? 475 00:23:22,333 --> 00:23:24,576 - Come on. - You know how much I've done for you this weekend? 476 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:25,909 - Get the fuck out of bed. - It's cold. 477 00:23:25,933 --> 00:23:27,067 Get the fuck out of bed! 478 00:23:40,167 --> 00:23:42,200 - What's that smell? - What? Eggs. 479 00:23:42,233 --> 00:23:44,633 What?! bacon?! 480 00:23:44,667 --> 00:23:46,700 What, are you crazy? You're making bacon?! 481 00:23:46,733 --> 00:23:48,200 - Why? - Why? 482 00:23:48,233 --> 00:23:51,066 - What? - Huh? 483 00:23:51,067 --> 00:23:53,800 People don't eat bacon. What, are you nuts? 484 00:23:53,833 --> 00:23:55,400 It's not kosher. People... kosher, 485 00:23:55,433 --> 00:23:57,867 - you know what that is. - Well, they don't have to eat it. 486 00:23:58,967 --> 00:24:00,667 How did you do last night? 487 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:03,833 I did fine. How did you do? 488 00:24:03,867 --> 00:24:06,200 I missed you, honey. 489 00:24:06,233 --> 00:24:09,066 I missed you too. 490 00:24:09,067 --> 00:24:11,200 - Good morning. - Good morning. 491 00:24:11,233 --> 00:24:13,400 - Cheryl: Good morning. - Uh, were these not the plates 492 00:24:13,433 --> 00:24:15,200 (a we ate the pot roast on last night? 493 00:24:15,233 --> 00:24:18,933 They are the same plates, but they've been washed. 494 00:24:18,967 --> 00:24:22,066 - What?! - I shouldn't be having dairy on these kind of plates. 495 00:24:22,067 --> 00:24:24,609 You know, as you know, the dairy and the meat are on two separate plates. 496 00:24:24,633 --> 00:24:26,267 That's a necessary rule of being kosher. 497 00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:29,066 Where are the milchig plates? Where are they? 498 00:24:29,067 --> 00:24:31,066 - The milchig plates! - Where are they? 499 00:24:31,067 --> 00:24:34,167 The milchig plates... well, they should be in the cabinet. 500 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:38,433 You were told about the milchig plates, were you not? 501 00:24:38,467 --> 00:24:41,100 - Okay. Well, I'm sorry about the uh... - that's fine, 502 00:24:41,133 --> 00:24:44,633 - I have to bury the plate and we're gonna be done with it. - You're gonna do what? 503 00:24:44,667 --> 00:24:48,467 - You have to bury the plate. - Why would you bury a plate? 504 00:24:52,900 --> 00:24:55,800 Why would you bury a plate? 505 00:24:55,833 --> 00:24:58,200 Tell her. 506 00:24:58,233 --> 00:25:00,476 You have to bury the plate to purify it. It has to go underground. 507 00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:03,443 - Purify, you have to purify. - I'm sure you probably have a whole set of China 508 00:25:03,467 --> 00:25:06,900 - in your backyard. - You can't just wash it and call it a day? 509 00:25:06,933 --> 00:25:10,200 - Uh, no we can't. I guess we'll starve tonight. - No, no, you can't wash it 510 00:25:10,233 --> 00:25:14,633 and call it a day, no. That's not how it works. 511 00:25:14,667 --> 00:25:16,709 - Do you wanna bury it as the man of the house? - Nah, you bury. 512 00:25:16,733 --> 00:25:19,100 - As a respect... - You bury, you bury. 513 00:25:19,133 --> 00:25:21,133 It's a little early for burying. 514 00:25:21,167 --> 00:25:24,467 I don't like to bury before coffee. 515 00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:26,967 - Do I smell bacon? - Bacon? 516 00:25:27,067 --> 00:25:28,800 Well... - no. Oh, I was a little gassy. 517 00:25:28,833 --> 00:25:30,767 I lit a match. 518 00:25:34,733 --> 00:25:35,933 You are a guest in this house. 519 00:25:40,100 --> 00:25:42,100 Cheryl: Larry, come on. 520 00:25:59,333 --> 00:26:01,333 Larry. 521 00:26:07,067 --> 00:26:10,367 ( Grunts, groaning ) 522 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,833 Get off my skis. 523 00:26:15,867 --> 00:26:17,767 ( Groans ) 524 00:26:23,733 --> 00:26:25,900 - How about coming for one more run? - Oh, sweetheart, 525 00:26:25,933 --> 00:26:28,066 - I'm finished. - Come on, we have time for one more. 526 00:26:28,067 --> 00:26:29,709 - Whoa-ho. Hey hey hey hey hey. - Hey hey hey. 527 00:26:29,733 --> 00:26:32,900 - Ben: New world record. - Whoa. 528 00:26:32,933 --> 00:26:34,433 - Hello, Ben. - Hello.. 529 00:26:34,467 --> 00:26:36,500 - Hello, Rachel. - Hi, Larry. 530 00:26:36,533 --> 00:26:39,300 - Boy, that was hard. - Larry: Huh? 531 00:26:39,333 --> 00:26:41,333 - How much fun is this? - I'm having a good time. 532 00:26:41,367 --> 00:26:44,500 - Isn't this fun? - But I'm going home because I'm bushed. 533 00:26:44,533 --> 00:26:45,776 - I'm gonna go for another run. - Go go, sweetheart, go. 534 00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:47,400 - All right. - Why don't you go with her? 535 00:26:47,433 --> 00:26:49,233 - You got time for one more run. - One more? 536 00:26:49,267 --> 00:26:51,900 - Go ahead. - One more run. Okay. 537 00:26:51,933 --> 00:26:53,800 - I'm just gonna go back. - No, there's time. 538 00:26:53,833 --> 00:26:55,776 No no, we're losing time. No no, it's fine. I'm tired. 539 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:57,200 - One more run. - One more. 540 00:26:57,233 --> 00:26:59,267 We'll do one more. Rachel, uh... 541 00:26:59,300 --> 00:27:02,367 He'll keep you company. ( Speaks Hebrew ) 542 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:03,867 - ( Mimics Hebrew ) - ( Ben laughs ) 543 00:27:03,900 --> 00:27:06,833 Larry, incidentally, the thing we were discussing earlier. 544 00:27:06,867 --> 00:27:10,400 I'm thinking about it, and I think I can actually help your friend. 545 00:27:11,700 --> 00:27:14,967 I think I can move him up on the list. 546 00:27:16,700 --> 00:27:18,633 I'm fainting. I'm gonna faint. 547 00:27:18,667 --> 00:27:20,767 - Ben: Well, don't do that. - I'm going to faint. 548 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:23,467 ( Speaks Hebrew ) it's a pleasure to do it for you. 549 00:27:23,500 --> 00:27:26,367 I know where you're going... When he dies... 550 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,400 Right, right upstairs he's going. Right upstairs. 551 00:27:29,433 --> 00:27:31,509 - God bless you. - You're taking an escalator up there. 552 00:27:31,533 --> 00:27:34,100 God bless you. Now you two kids go. Go ski. 553 00:27:34,133 --> 00:27:37,367 Rachel, come. Come. 554 00:27:44,633 --> 00:27:48,167 ( Larry whistles ) 555 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,200 What do people have against whistlers? 556 00:27:50,233 --> 00:27:53,333 - Can you answer me this question? - I think it's annoying. 557 00:27:53,367 --> 00:27:56,567 I think it's 'cause they don't like to see people happy. 558 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,967 And who can blame them? It's like a happy couple. 559 00:27:59,067 --> 00:28:02,067 Is there anything more disgusting than that? 560 00:28:03,433 --> 00:28:05,433 You know what I find very interesting? 561 00:28:05,467 --> 00:28:08,067 I can't draw to save my life, 562 00:28:08,100 --> 00:28:10,633 but yet, I'm a very good doodler. 563 00:28:10,667 --> 00:28:12,633 Don't you think that's ironic? 564 00:28:12,667 --> 00:28:14,300 It's somewhat ironic. 565 00:28:14,333 --> 00:28:16,200 Hey, when we get back to the lodge, 566 00:28:16,233 --> 00:28:18,800 how about you and I having a doodling contest, huh? 567 00:28:18,833 --> 00:28:22,167 - What do you say? - I'm feeling nauseous right now. 568 00:28:26,733 --> 00:28:28,667 Oh, you've gotta be kidding me. 569 00:28:28,700 --> 00:28:30,533 - Larry: What's going on? - Don't worry. 570 00:28:30,567 --> 00:28:32,433 It happens all the time. 571 00:28:32,467 --> 00:28:34,833 ( Sighs ) 572 00:28:34,867 --> 00:28:37,133 Should only be a few minutes. 573 00:28:50,067 --> 00:28:52,433 It's been 15 minutes already. 574 00:28:52,467 --> 00:28:53,967 What's going on? 575 00:28:54,067 --> 00:28:57,300 Shkiyas hachama. That's what's going on. 576 00:28:58,367 --> 00:29:01,400 - What? - Shkiyas hachama. 577 00:29:01,433 --> 00:29:03,233 Sundown. 578 00:29:03,267 --> 00:29:06,900 I can't be here alone with you after sundown. 579 00:29:06,933 --> 00:29:09,133 - Why not? - Because you're a man 580 00:29:09,167 --> 00:29:11,133 and I'm a single woman. 581 00:29:11,167 --> 00:29:15,433 - So? - So it's not allowed. 582 00:29:15,467 --> 00:29:17,700 - Who says so? - The law, the torah says so. 583 00:29:17,733 --> 00:29:20,267 - Hashem says so. - Hashem? 584 00:29:20,300 --> 00:29:23,066 - Do you know anything? - No, hashem, I know. 585 00:29:23,067 --> 00:29:25,633 Anyway, it's okay. There's extenuating circumstances here. 586 00:29:25,667 --> 00:29:28,933 No such thing as extenuating circumstances. 587 00:29:30,067 --> 00:29:32,133 Well, you got another half hour. 588 00:29:32,167 --> 00:29:34,700 - 5:41. Shkiyas hachama is at 5:41. - All right. 589 00:29:34,733 --> 00:29:36,867 - Well, that's a half hour. - Fine. 590 00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:39,333 They'll fix it. 591 00:29:53,367 --> 00:29:55,933 - Freezing! - ( snorts ) 592 00:29:55,967 --> 00:29:57,933 ( Sighs ) 593 00:29:57,967 --> 00:30:00,467 I'm hungry too. 594 00:30:00,500 --> 00:30:04,233 - You hungry? - Yes, I'm very hungry. 595 00:30:10,567 --> 00:30:12,500 What the heck is this? 596 00:30:16,633 --> 00:30:18,700 Hey! 597 00:30:18,733 --> 00:30:21,433 Edible underwear! 598 00:30:21,467 --> 00:30:24,033 I must... the private investigator... 599 00:30:24,067 --> 00:30:27,433 When I went... unreal! 600 00:30:39,733 --> 00:30:42,333 - They're not bad. - ( Sighs ) 601 00:30:42,367 --> 00:30:44,009 - How much time do we have left... - want some? 602 00:30:44,033 --> 00:30:45,267 - No, thank you. - Take a bite. 603 00:30:45,300 --> 00:30:46,467 - I'm fine. - Take a bite. 604 00:30:46,500 --> 00:30:48,533 Move that away from me. 605 00:30:53,067 --> 00:30:55,800 Just tell me how much time we have left. 606 00:30:55,833 --> 00:30:59,633 - Well, I think you got about two minutes. - Oh. 607 00:31:03,267 --> 00:31:06,333 Somebody's gonna have to jump. 608 00:31:06,367 --> 00:31:08,367 - Oh, stop. - Stop what? 609 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,133 I can't be here with you after sundown! 610 00:31:10,167 --> 00:31:12,176 There's no other way. Somebody's gonna have to jump! 611 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:15,600 You're gonna have to jump! 612 00:31:15,633 --> 00:31:17,567 Rachel: Are you gonna jump? 613 00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:21,900 What, are you fucking nuts? 614 00:31:24,067 --> 00:31:26,133 What? 615 00:31:26,167 --> 00:31:27,867 What are you doing? 616 00:31:28,867 --> 00:31:30,200 - No. - Hold my phone. 617 00:31:30,233 --> 00:31:33,133 Are you crazy? Are you insane? 618 00:31:35,100 --> 00:31:37,300 ( Whimpers ) 619 00:31:37,333 --> 00:31:40,333 - ( Muted thuds ) - ( muffled groan ) 620 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:58,067 ( Phone rings ) 621 00:31:58,100 --> 00:32:00,133 - Yeah? - Hey, Richard. It's me. 622 00:32:00,167 --> 00:32:03,500 - Yeah, hi, Larry. - Listen, what I told you earlier about the kidney? 623 00:32:03,533 --> 00:32:05,767 - Yeah, yeah. - It's not gonna happen. 624 00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:07,533 You're shitting me. Why not?! 625 00:32:07,567 --> 00:32:09,200 Uh, I can't go into it right now, 626 00:32:09,233 --> 00:32:11,333 but trust me, it's just... It's not gonna work out. 627 00:32:11,367 --> 00:32:13,433 - Oh, shit. - Hey, listen, 628 00:32:13,467 --> 00:32:15,933 did I leave my cell phone in your house? 629 00:32:15,967 --> 00:32:17,667 I don't know. Did you leave... 630 00:32:17,700 --> 00:32:19,967 Did Larry David leave his cell phone in the house? 631 00:32:20,067 --> 00:32:21,833 - Lisa: No. - Richard: No. 632 00:32:21,867 --> 00:32:24,467 I'm gonna call my cell pho8 if you hear it ringing, 633 00:32:24,500 --> 00:32:27,633 - pick it up, okay? - Fine, fine. 634 00:32:33,433 --> 00:32:36,333 ( Cell phone ringing ) 635 00:32:38,467 --> 00:32:40,567 ( Continues ringing ) 636 00:32:46,233 --> 00:32:54,233 ( Theme music playing ) 637 00:32:56,267 --> 00:33:04,267 ( Theme music playing )