1 00:00:08,841 --> 00:00:11,174 Larry David is back in the news again. 2 00:00:11,257 --> 00:00:12,841 That's right, the co-creator of Seinfeld 3 00:00:12,924 --> 00:00:14,841 has returned to his contentious ways, 4 00:00:14,924 --> 00:00:16,924 this time in the retail arena. 5 00:00:17,007 --> 00:00:19,299 Here's NBC's Josh Mankiewicz with more. 6 00:00:19,382 --> 00:00:21,924 Look, we've all experienced bad service before, 7 00:00:22,007 --> 00:00:24,257 but for most of us, there's not much you can do about it. 8 00:00:24,341 --> 00:00:26,049 Maybe write a negative Yelp review, 9 00:00:26,132 --> 00:00:28,174 or maybe you just don't go back to the place. 10 00:00:28,257 --> 00:00:31,257 But Larry David has chosen a different path. 11 00:00:31,341 --> 00:00:33,132 This is Mocha Joe's, 12 00:00:33,215 --> 00:00:36,507 a small coffee shop serving the Westside of Los Angeles, 13 00:00:36,591 --> 00:00:39,174 and this is Latte Larry's. 14 00:00:39,257 --> 00:00:41,799 Why two coffee shops right next to each other? 15 00:00:41,883 --> 00:00:44,674 We went to the man himself for answers. 16 00:00:44,758 --> 00:00:46,924 I was wronged. I was mistreated. 17 00:00:47,007 --> 00:00:49,007 I ordered a cup of coffee next door, 18 00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:52,049 at this Mocha Joe's, and, Josh, 19 00:00:52,132 --> 00:00:54,424 the coffee is cold. 20 00:00:54,507 --> 00:00:57,549 I politely asked for another cup of coffee. 21 00:00:57,633 --> 00:01:00,132 He banned me from the store. I couldn't live with it. 22 00:01:00,215 --> 00:01:03,007 So you're operating this place just out of spite? 23 00:01:03,090 --> 00:01:05,382 Yeah. It's a spite store. 24 00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:08,049 I called him an old, bald nut. I mean, I cop to that. 25 00:01:08,132 --> 00:01:09,466 But the guy comes in here, 26 00:01:09,549 --> 00:01:11,132 complains about the tables, complains about the coffee. 27 00:01:11,215 --> 00:01:12,716 Do you have wobbly tables? 28 00:01:12,799 --> 00:01:14,883 Eh, one or two. But what's the big deal? You put your foot on it. 29 00:01:14,965 --> 00:01:16,507 Nobody else is complaining. 30 00:01:16,591 --> 00:01:17,965 If he apologized, 31 00:01:18,049 --> 00:01:20,382 would you get out of the coffee business? 32 00:01:20,466 --> 00:01:22,591 If it was a deep, heartfelt apology, 33 00:01:22,674 --> 00:01:24,633 with maybe a little tear-- 34 00:01:24,716 --> 00:01:27,466 "Larry, my scones are like muffins." 35 00:01:27,549 --> 00:01:29,090 That would have to be included, of course. 36 00:01:29,174 --> 00:01:32,049 Okay, Larry says that if you would just apologize... 37 00:01:32,132 --> 00:01:34,174 -...he could get out of business. 38 00:01:34,257 --> 00:01:36,965 Apologize? Me? Never. A ban is a ban. 39 00:01:37,049 --> 00:01:39,382 You ever think that maybe the problem is, 40 00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:40,799 you were complaining too much? 41 00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:43,841 I don't like to tear people down. I want to help. 42 00:01:43,924 --> 00:01:45,758 Look, this pocket square you got going, there, 43 00:01:45,841 --> 00:01:47,257 it looks out of place. 44 00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:49,174 That's for some English dandy. 45 00:01:49,257 --> 00:01:50,424 It's not for a journalist. 46 00:01:50,507 --> 00:01:51,924 You don't think that's kind of insulting? 47 00:01:52,007 --> 00:01:53,549 No, not in the least. 48 00:01:53,633 --> 00:01:56,424 Hey, if you told me you didn't like my jacket or something, 49 00:01:56,507 --> 00:01:57,841 well, I, I wouldn't care. 50 00:01:57,924 --> 00:02:00,466 Actually, I, I really don't like your jacket. 51 00:02:01,049 --> 00:02:02,549 Oh, is that so? 52 00:02:02,633 --> 00:02:06,299 And while Larry was the first to open a spite store, 53 00:02:06,382 --> 00:02:08,924 he's since started a trend here in Hollywood, 54 00:02:09,007 --> 00:02:11,174 with other celebrities following suit, 55 00:02:11,257 --> 00:02:12,591 like Jonah Hill, 56 00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:15,007 who's now operating a spite deli. 57 00:02:15,090 --> 00:02:16,924 So, you know, I used to go to Irv's Deli, 58 00:02:17,007 --> 00:02:19,090 right next door, two, three times a week. 59 00:02:19,716 --> 00:02:22,466 And I found a hair in my sandwich. 60 00:02:22,549 --> 00:02:23,965 -Not your hair? -No. 61 00:02:24,049 --> 00:02:26,215 This was a gray hair. It wasn't my hair. 62 00:02:26,299 --> 00:02:28,466 And this guy Irv's going, "Oh, it's yours." 63 00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:30,174 And I'm, like, what can I do, you know? 64 00:02:30,257 --> 00:02:33,007 I, I can't sleep. I'm taking four or five Ambien to get to sleep, 65 00:02:33,090 --> 00:02:34,924 'cause all I see is this guy Irv's face. 66 00:02:35,007 --> 00:02:39,007 -So what changed? -What changed was I had seen Latte Larry's. 67 00:02:39,090 --> 00:02:41,007 The idea of a spite store's such a brilliant idea. 68 00:02:41,090 --> 00:02:42,382 I'm gonna open a spite deli. 69 00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:44,215 Mankiewicz: What started off with spite 70 00:02:44,299 --> 00:02:46,633 has now become a passion project. 71 00:02:46,716 --> 00:02:48,424 Thanks for dining with us. 72 00:02:49,049 --> 00:02:50,591 Three dollars? 73 00:02:50,674 --> 00:02:54,049 And you're turning down acting and directing gigs for this? 74 00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:55,382 What's left for me in Hollywood? 75 00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:57,466 Win some award or something, you know? 76 00:02:57,549 --> 00:03:00,591 Any time I see a customer walk in here that used to go to Irv's, 77 00:03:00,674 --> 00:03:04,215 it's like my own tiny little human Oscar walking in here. 78 00:03:04,299 --> 00:03:05,507 So this is your life now? 79 00:03:05,591 --> 00:03:06,674 I might actually open 80 00:03:06,758 --> 00:03:07,924 a spite deli out in New York. 81 00:03:08,007 --> 00:03:10,424 There was a spot on 42nd Street 82 00:03:10,507 --> 00:03:13,341 that was a bit disrespectful that I'm looking at taking out. 83 00:03:13,424 --> 00:03:17,507 Jonah Hill is not the only celebrity with spite on his mind. 84 00:03:17,591 --> 00:03:19,799 This is Ray's Exotic Birds, 85 00:03:19,883 --> 00:03:21,841 and this is Sean's. 86 00:03:21,924 --> 00:03:23,466 It's become the place 87 00:03:23,549 --> 00:03:27,049 to get a macaw, or a hummingbird nester. 88 00:03:27,132 --> 00:03:30,174 -I had always wanted a talking bird. 89 00:03:30,257 --> 00:03:31,841 So I go to Ray, 90 00:03:31,924 --> 00:03:33,841 just next door, 91 00:03:33,924 --> 00:03:35,841 and he sells me the bird. 92 00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:38,674 And the bird doesn't talk. It just sort of grunts. 93 00:03:38,758 --> 00:03:41,507 So I go back to return it. He says, "No returns." 94 00:03:41,591 --> 00:03:43,257 I said, "Bullshit." 95 00:03:43,341 --> 00:03:45,758 'Cause he knew, he knew it was a mute bird. 96 00:03:45,841 --> 00:03:48,549 And I'm on a kind of slow burn, 97 00:03:48,633 --> 00:03:50,341 not knowing quite what to do. 98 00:03:50,424 --> 00:03:52,799 Then Larry opens up the coffee place, 99 00:03:52,883 --> 00:03:55,174 and it was like, ding, ding, ding. 100 00:03:55,257 --> 00:03:57,674 Sean's Exotic Birds. 101 00:03:57,758 --> 00:03:59,716 It put Ray right out of business. 102 00:03:59,799 --> 00:04:03,257 Here, this is a hyacinth macaw, from Brazil. 103 00:04:03,341 --> 00:04:04,674 Would you like to hold him? 104 00:04:04,758 --> 00:04:05,758 Sure. 105 00:04:05,841 --> 00:04:07,299 Does all the time you're spending here 106 00:04:07,382 --> 00:04:09,215 take away from, you know, acting? 107 00:04:09,299 --> 00:04:13,132 I was never a very, Zen sort of personality, 108 00:04:13,215 --> 00:04:16,132 but I find myself very, very calm now. 109 00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:18,132 I think, you know, it's the birds. 110 00:04:18,215 --> 00:04:20,257 Shut up! 111 00:04:21,466 --> 00:04:22,716 So the next time you see 112 00:04:22,799 --> 00:04:25,799 two similar stores right next to each other, 113 00:04:25,883 --> 00:04:30,090 there's a pretty good chance one of 'em's doing it out of spite. 114 00:04:30,174 --> 00:04:32,424 Savannah and Hoda, back to you. 115 00:04:43,965 --> 00:04:45,883 Aah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Seiderman: It hurts right there? 116 00:04:45,965 --> 00:04:48,549 -Now we're gonna bend it. -Anyway, the guy in the motorized wheelchair, 117 00:04:48,633 --> 00:04:50,257 he's on line at my store-- 118 00:04:50,341 --> 00:04:51,924 -Aah, that's plenty. Yeah. -Right there. Okay. 119 00:04:52,007 --> 00:04:54,591 And all of a sudden, he gets beep panic, 120 00:04:54,674 --> 00:04:56,591 -and rolls right into me. -Seiderman: Unbelievable. 121 00:04:56,674 --> 00:04:59,132 Okay, so here's the bottom line with your knee. Okay? 122 00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:01,382 Yeah. -You have a tear in your meniscus. 123 00:05:01,466 --> 00:05:04,049 You know, if you want to fix this thing once and for all, you need surgery. 124 00:05:04,132 --> 00:05:05,591 -Uh-huh. -All right? I go in there, 125 00:05:05,674 --> 00:05:07,965 I, uh, I repair the tear in your meniscus, 126 00:05:08,049 --> 00:05:09,507 you're back home the very same day. 127 00:05:09,591 --> 00:05:10,716 You'll be in bed for about a week. 128 00:05:10,799 --> 00:05:12,633 Okay, then we'll get you on crutches. 129 00:05:12,716 --> 00:05:14,841 Then after about two months of intensive everyday rehab, 130 00:05:14,924 --> 00:05:16,965 you'll be back to normal, good as new. 131 00:05:17,049 --> 00:05:19,049 -How does that sound? -Not so great. 132 00:05:19,132 --> 00:05:20,591 You could do other techniques, but you're gonna be 133 00:05:20,674 --> 00:05:23,007 right back in this chair in a few months, I guarantee it. 134 00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:27,174 What if I got a... 135 00:05:27,257 --> 00:05:29,215 second opinion? 136 00:05:29,883 --> 00:05:31,799 -Why? -Just to see... 137 00:05:31,883 --> 00:05:34,090 what somebody else might have to say about it. 138 00:05:34,174 --> 00:05:35,924 If you want to get a second opinion, by all means. 139 00:05:36,007 --> 00:05:38,215 It's your right. I encourage it. 140 00:05:38,299 --> 00:05:40,591 Oh, okay. So we're cool, then? 141 00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,883 Yeah, Larry. I'm cool. 142 00:05:42,965 --> 00:05:45,007 Get your second opinion. Let me know how it goes. 143 00:05:45,090 --> 00:05:46,758 You know, a lot of people are gonna say to me, 144 00:05:46,841 --> 00:05:48,049 "You should get a second opinion." 145 00:05:48,132 --> 00:05:50,341 So I can say, "Yeah. I got a second opinion." 146 00:05:50,424 --> 00:05:52,382 So it's just so you can tell your friends you did it. 147 00:05:52,466 --> 00:05:53,924 It's not even saying it to my friends. 148 00:05:54,007 --> 00:05:55,507 It's saying it to my late mother. 149 00:05:55,591 --> 00:05:57,716 Okay, while here in my head, 150 00:05:57,799 --> 00:05:58,965 "Larry, what are you doing? 151 00:05:59,049 --> 00:06:01,132 Get a second opinion. Are you stupid?" 152 00:06:01,215 --> 00:06:03,132 -Why do I need to hear that? -Yeah, you don't wanna hear that. 153 00:06:03,215 --> 00:06:06,507 -No. Even though she's dead, I need to shut her up. -Got it. All right. 154 00:06:06,591 --> 00:06:09,090 -Um, you can validate your parking up front, there. 155 00:06:09,174 --> 00:06:10,883 Careful. Uh... 156 00:06:13,591 --> 00:06:14,799 Hey! 157 00:06:15,007 --> 00:06:16,633 -Larry! Joey! 158 00:06:16,716 --> 00:06:18,549 -How's it going? -Not terrible. 159 00:06:18,633 --> 00:06:20,174 How's your, uh, coffee shop doing? 160 00:06:20,257 --> 00:06:21,924 -Doing quite well. -Really? 161 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:25,257 -Yeah. -You lookin' for, uh, you know, any people? 162 00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:28,299 -You're looking for-- -I, I am. I've been really unhappy where I am, 163 00:06:28,382 --> 00:06:30,716 -and I'm looking for something new. -Joey. 164 00:06:30,799 --> 00:06:33,257 -You think I'm gonna turn down a Funkhouser? -Larry! 165 00:06:33,341 --> 00:06:35,382 -Yeah, of course. Come on. -Yeah, that'd be great. 166 00:06:35,466 --> 00:06:38,007 Thank you, really. Terrific. I can't wait to start. 167 00:06:38,090 --> 00:06:41,382 -All right, well, maybe even, uh, maybe even tomorrow. -Perfect. 168 00:06:41,466 --> 00:06:42,841 -Joey? -Mm? 169 00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:44,299 What's going on over here? 170 00:06:44,382 --> 00:06:46,965 Oh, I'm just waiting for it to get hot. 171 00:06:47,049 --> 00:06:48,716 You're waiting for it to get hot? 172 00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:51,382 -I don't think you respect the drought. -I do respect the drought. 173 00:06:51,466 --> 00:06:53,299 -Do you respect the drought, Joey? -I do. I really do. 174 00:06:53,382 --> 00:06:55,674 I do respect the drought. I-- 175 00:06:55,758 --> 00:06:57,633 -Whoa. -What? 176 00:06:57,716 --> 00:06:58,716 What? 177 00:06:58,799 --> 00:07:01,132 -Woo! Whoa! -Okay. 178 00:07:01,215 --> 00:07:02,591 Joey! 179 00:07:02,674 --> 00:07:03,799 Larry. 180 00:07:03,883 --> 00:07:04,924 Yikes. 181 00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:06,591 I mean, I support your transitioning, 182 00:07:06,674 --> 00:07:09,507 but you gave yourself quite a large penis there. 183 00:07:09,591 --> 00:07:11,215 Yeah, I wanted to, 184 00:07:11,299 --> 00:07:15,257 you know, follow in the Funkhouser tradition of penises. 185 00:07:15,341 --> 00:07:16,841 Can you handle, uh, something like that? 186 00:07:16,924 --> 00:07:19,466 -That's, that's enormous. -It is, yeah. 187 00:07:19,549 --> 00:07:22,090 But, I mean, it seems like a lot to, to lug around. 188 00:07:22,174 --> 00:07:24,424 -No, it isn't actually. -But-- 189 00:07:24,507 --> 00:07:26,341 You've tried it out on some dames? 190 00:07:26,424 --> 00:07:29,591 -I've had no complaints about it. No complaints. -No complaints. 191 00:07:29,674 --> 00:07:31,215 Okay. All right. 192 00:07:31,299 --> 00:07:33,591 -Enjoy your big penis. I am. 193 00:07:33,674 --> 00:07:37,049 -And, uh, you know, go to town with it. -Thank you, Larry. That's-- 194 00:07:37,132 --> 00:07:38,674 -We'll be in touch about the store. -Yeah. I'll call-- 195 00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:40,507 I'll call you, and you just let me know 196 00:07:40,591 --> 00:07:42,549 -when I can start. I can't wait. Fantastic. 197 00:07:42,633 --> 00:07:45,174 -All right. Thank you, Larry. Okay. -Excited to have you. 198 00:07:47,090 --> 00:07:50,341 Hey! Whoa! -Look who I brought. 199 00:07:50,424 --> 00:07:52,549 -Country club shit right here. -Yeah. 200 00:07:52,633 --> 00:07:54,466 How you, uh, doing? What's going on? 201 00:07:54,549 --> 00:07:58,090 Uh, I just saw Joey Funkhouser's new penis. 202 00:07:58,174 --> 00:08:00,299 -Who? Marty Funkhouser's daughter 203 00:08:00,382 --> 00:08:02,299 has transitioned into being a man. 204 00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:03,507 -Oh, wow. -Yeah. 205 00:08:03,591 --> 00:08:07,007 Had the surgery, and, uh, it's big. 206 00:08:07,090 --> 00:08:08,341 Mm. -How big? 207 00:08:08,424 --> 00:08:10,132 -Really big. -Wow. 208 00:08:10,215 --> 00:08:12,633 Yeah. He gave himself a giant penis. 209 00:08:12,716 --> 00:08:14,299 -Did you see the balls? -No. 210 00:08:14,382 --> 00:08:17,132 Completely taken with the penis that I didn't get to, you know, 211 00:08:17,215 --> 00:08:18,841 look at the scrotum at all. 212 00:08:18,924 --> 00:08:21,466 So wait a minute. This is what happens at country clubs? 213 00:08:21,549 --> 00:08:23,633 White guys walking around showing each other their johnson? 214 00:08:23,716 --> 00:08:25,549 No, no, no. I saw it in the bathroom. 215 00:08:25,633 --> 00:08:26,716 He was wearing a terrycloth robe. 216 00:08:26,799 --> 00:08:28,174 He turned and the robe opened up. 217 00:08:28,257 --> 00:08:29,841 People don't tie robes properly. 218 00:08:29,924 --> 00:08:33,007 They do not. -They're very cavalier about a robe, you know? 219 00:08:33,090 --> 00:08:35,132 You can't just fling one side over the other. 220 00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:36,924 -Cinch your robe. -Cinch your robe. 221 00:08:37,007 --> 00:08:38,758 Right. -I don't see how he can wear underwear with that thing. 222 00:08:38,841 --> 00:08:40,841 It's so big there's no way he can fit in underwear. 223 00:08:40,924 --> 00:08:42,341 -You can't. -Right? 224 00:08:42,424 --> 00:08:44,591 Everybody in the big johnson community knows that. 225 00:08:44,674 --> 00:08:46,883 You can't wear underwear. I don't wear underwear. 226 00:08:46,965 --> 00:08:49,341 There's a big johnson community? -Of course there is. 227 00:08:49,424 --> 00:08:53,007 We meet once a month. We talk about the pitfalls of having a big-ass johnson. 228 00:08:53,090 --> 00:08:55,007 I've had several at the house. 229 00:08:55,090 --> 00:08:58,341 You... You've had a big johnson meeting at, at the house? 230 00:08:58,424 --> 00:09:00,965 When you're fuckin' out of town, the whole community shows the fuck up, 231 00:09:01,049 --> 00:09:03,633 and we sit around the table, and just talk. 232 00:09:03,716 --> 00:09:05,674 -Do you have officers? -Fuck, yeah, we do. 233 00:09:05,758 --> 00:09:07,257 Who's the president? 234 00:09:07,341 --> 00:09:09,841 My man, Horse Cock Williams. 235 00:09:09,965 --> 00:09:12,215 Look, I don't have a big penis, 236 00:09:12,299 --> 00:09:15,507 but I'd like to see if I could join the big johnson community. 237 00:09:15,591 --> 00:09:17,758 How are you getting in the big johnson community 238 00:09:17,841 --> 00:09:19,132 without a big johnson? What-- 239 00:09:19,215 --> 00:09:21,257 I know somebody there who could vouch for me. 240 00:09:21,341 --> 00:09:23,424 What do you mean, vouch for you? They, they, they gotta look at it! 241 00:09:23,507 --> 00:09:25,924 You can't just show up. You gotta flash that motherfucker at the door. 242 00:09:26,007 --> 00:09:28,924 -Yeah. See? -Well, what happens if I get caught? 243 00:09:29,007 --> 00:09:30,841 They'll throw you out of there by your little-ass johnson. 244 00:09:30,924 --> 00:09:33,090 But maybe this would be a good thing for Joey, 245 00:09:33,174 --> 00:09:35,965 because it's way too big, and he can't handle it. 246 00:09:36,466 --> 00:09:38,466 I foresee... 247 00:09:38,549 --> 00:09:41,758 big problems with that penis. 248 00:09:41,841 --> 00:09:43,215 Big. 249 00:09:43,299 --> 00:09:44,382 To be honest, I always tell people 250 00:09:44,466 --> 00:09:45,716 they can fix up the house. I don't-- 251 00:09:45,799 --> 00:09:48,049 Hey, Larry! Hey! 252 00:09:48,132 --> 00:09:50,549 Larry David. Hey. 253 00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:51,965 Great news. 254 00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:55,799 I am the listing agent of the house next to yours. 255 00:09:55,883 --> 00:09:57,257 -Oh, really? You're selling it? -Yeah. 256 00:09:57,341 --> 00:10:00,049 Ka-ching! Ka-ching! 257 00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:02,090 -Make some money on that one, right? -Yeah. 258 00:10:02,174 --> 00:10:04,090 Okay. You know, I should buy it myself, 259 00:10:04,174 --> 00:10:05,758 so I can avoid asshole neighbors. 260 00:10:05,841 --> 00:10:08,924 I like that. -You, you would never buy it, would you? 261 00:10:09,007 --> 00:10:11,633 It's a little bit out of my, uh, prince range, you know, right now. 262 00:10:11,716 --> 00:10:12,924 Oh. That's good. 263 00:10:13,007 --> 00:10:14,215 'Cause you're the last person in the world 264 00:10:14,299 --> 00:10:15,841 I want living next door to me. 265 00:10:15,924 --> 00:10:17,758 Clients love me, Larry. 266 00:10:56,716 --> 00:10:58,424 -Mm-hmm. -How's the coffee? 267 00:10:58,507 --> 00:10:59,965 -It's good. -It's good. 268 00:11:00,049 --> 00:11:01,424 Yeah. Good. You know, 269 00:11:01,507 --> 00:11:03,924 it's interesting, 'cause, uh, I was in my car earlier, 270 00:11:04,007 --> 00:11:06,215 and all of a sudden, I hear a siren, 271 00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:08,132 and I look in the rearview mirror 272 00:11:08,215 --> 00:11:09,924 and there's a fire truck behind me, and I... 273 00:11:10,007 --> 00:11:12,633 Wow, a fire! And I better get over to the side of the road. 274 00:11:12,716 --> 00:11:14,424 Those guys are really in a hurry. 275 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:17,507 I pull over to the side of the road, and it... shwoo! goes past me. 276 00:11:17,591 --> 00:11:20,591 And then I pull in here, and I see the fire truck. 277 00:11:21,341 --> 00:11:23,090 Where's the fire? 278 00:11:23,174 --> 00:11:25,174 Where... 279 00:11:25,257 --> 00:11:27,965 Where is the fire? 280 00:11:28,049 --> 00:11:29,841 -We needed coffee. -Oh, oh. 281 00:11:29,924 --> 00:11:31,215 -We don't do it often. -No. 282 00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:33,174 -Like, it's not a frequent thing. -Yeah, no. 283 00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:35,174 You abused your siren. 284 00:11:35,257 --> 00:11:37,841 -Abused our siren? -You're siren abusers. 285 00:11:37,924 --> 00:11:41,132 I completely get it. I had a handicapped placard once. 286 00:11:41,215 --> 00:11:43,382 And I could only imagine what it's like to have a siren. 287 00:11:43,466 --> 00:11:45,466 'Cause that handicapped placard, that was fantastic. 288 00:11:45,549 --> 00:11:47,591 Enjoy the coffee. 289 00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:49,674 Hey! 290 00:11:49,758 --> 00:11:52,174 -Look at this. Joey Funkhouser. -Hey, Larry. 291 00:11:52,257 --> 00:11:53,507 -How you doing? Hey. 292 00:11:53,591 --> 00:11:54,965 -So have you shown him the ropes? Yeah. 293 00:11:55,049 --> 00:11:56,507 -We're gettin' it down. Yeah. -Fast learner. 294 00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:58,382 -Oh, yeah? -The only question I have is, 295 00:11:58,466 --> 00:11:59,965 where's the, uh, the tip jar? 296 00:12:00,049 --> 00:12:01,549 Oh, no. No tip jar. 297 00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,466 -No tipping? -No, that's, that's demeaning. 298 00:12:03,549 --> 00:12:05,299 It turns us into... beggars. 299 00:12:05,382 --> 00:12:07,883 -Yeah? You think? -Yeah. We might as well be outside with a, with a cup. 300 00:12:07,965 --> 00:12:10,049 -Uh-oh. Know what happens now? -It's a-- What? 301 00:12:10,132 --> 00:12:11,633 -No. - 302 00:12:11,716 --> 00:12:13,341 -Ah. Look at that, see? -Ah. 303 00:12:13,424 --> 00:12:15,049 Oh, boy. This, this is a big moment. 304 00:12:15,132 --> 00:12:16,591 That's it? Oh, the big moment. Yes, indeed. 305 00:12:16,674 --> 00:12:18,716 -Let's go to the back. To the storeroom? -Um-hmm. 306 00:12:18,799 --> 00:12:20,132 -And get changed there. -Okay. Great. Right. 307 00:12:20,215 --> 00:12:22,007 Hey, as long as you're going to the storeroom, 308 00:12:22,090 --> 00:12:25,049 -show him how to charge the, uh, the self-heating cups. Yes, indeed. 309 00:12:25,132 --> 00:12:28,090 I kind of talked Larry into putting up "no lamping" signs 310 00:12:28,174 --> 00:12:30,466 all over the fuckin' place. People would stay too fucking long. 311 00:12:44,758 --> 00:12:47,341 -Are you in line? -What? 312 00:12:47,674 --> 00:12:50,466 -Are you in line for coffee? -Oh. N-No. No. 313 00:12:50,549 --> 00:12:52,633 Sorry, we haven't met, have we? 314 00:12:52,716 --> 00:12:55,799 -No. Uh-uh. No. -Okay. 315 00:12:55,883 --> 00:12:57,841 No, we haven't. 316 00:13:10,591 --> 00:13:12,424 Okay. I'm Alice. 317 00:13:12,507 --> 00:13:14,799 Um, I'm... Buck. 318 00:13:14,883 --> 00:13:17,090 -Nice to meet you, Buck. -Nice to meet you. 319 00:13:17,174 --> 00:13:19,257 Leon: Hey, Larry! Where are the aprons? 320 00:13:19,341 --> 00:13:20,799 They're behind the Purell! 321 00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,299 Leon: I can't find the fuckin' aprons! 322 00:13:23,382 --> 00:13:25,507 Are you... Latte Larry? 323 00:13:25,591 --> 00:13:26,799 -Yes! -Oh. 324 00:13:26,883 --> 00:13:28,507 Buck's my nickname. That's what my friends call me. 325 00:13:28,591 --> 00:13:30,799 How'd you get to Buck from Larry? 326 00:13:30,883 --> 00:13:32,507 I like to watch a lot of Westerns. 327 00:13:32,591 --> 00:13:35,382 What's your favorite? 328 00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:37,299 Blue Skies Over the Canyon. 329 00:13:37,382 --> 00:13:39,507 Well, I just moved in the neighborhood, so... 330 00:13:39,591 --> 00:13:41,883 -I'll see you around. -Oh, great. 331 00:13:41,965 --> 00:13:44,799 Um, hi. Can I get a medium latte-- 332 00:13:46,799 --> 00:13:48,674 You know, it's so crazy. 333 00:13:48,758 --> 00:13:52,174 She's completely normal, but she just doesn't seem to remember... me, 334 00:13:52,257 --> 00:13:54,341 or ever working for me, or anything to do with me. 335 00:13:54,424 --> 00:13:58,257 So she suffered memory loss from the choking on the scone? 336 00:13:58,341 --> 00:14:00,132 And that got me out of the lawsuit, the whole thing. 337 00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:03,424 -Oh, that's Tara and Will. 338 00:14:04,924 --> 00:14:06,841 All: Hey! 339 00:14:06,924 --> 00:14:08,965 Oh, look, you're getting bigger every minute! 340 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,424 -I know, I know. -Oh, my God. I have to touch it. 341 00:14:11,507 --> 00:14:13,299 Please. -Come on in. 342 00:14:13,382 --> 00:14:14,507 -Hello. Hello. Hi. 343 00:14:14,591 --> 00:14:16,215 I'm the Larry you've heard so much about. 344 00:14:16,299 --> 00:14:17,841 Oh. Yes. 345 00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:19,424 It's so nice to finally meet you. -Hi. 346 00:14:19,507 --> 00:14:21,466 -How you doin'? Hi. -Will. 347 00:14:21,549 --> 00:14:22,716 Will. 348 00:14:22,799 --> 00:14:24,758 -Any minute now, I think, huh? -Yeah. 349 00:14:24,841 --> 00:14:25,841 Yeah. Any minute. 350 00:14:25,924 --> 00:14:27,007 -Oh, boy. Jesus. 351 00:14:27,090 --> 00:14:28,674 You know, I impregnated somebody once. 352 00:14:28,758 --> 00:14:30,007 Yeah? -Yeah. 353 00:14:30,090 --> 00:14:32,341 We broke up in the abortion clinic. 354 00:14:32,424 --> 00:14:34,341 -How about that? You've never told me that. 355 00:14:34,424 --> 00:14:36,132 -Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Wow. 356 00:14:36,215 --> 00:14:37,591 Just so you know, while you're here, 357 00:14:37,674 --> 00:14:39,382 -I don't know how to deliver a baby. -Okay. 358 00:14:39,466 --> 00:14:40,758 How do you, how do you induce labor? 359 00:14:40,841 --> 00:14:42,424 Can you scare someone into labor? 360 00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:43,841 -I don't know. Is that possible? 361 00:14:43,965 --> 00:14:45,382 -I-- -Uh, maybe it's possible. 362 00:14:45,466 --> 00:14:46,841 I think it's something we want to avoid. 363 00:14:46,924 --> 00:14:47,965 Why would you wanna do that? 364 00:14:48,049 --> 00:14:49,090 A baby should come 365 00:14:49,174 --> 00:14:50,591 when it's naturally supposed to come. 366 00:14:50,674 --> 00:14:52,090 Who needs Mr. Buttinski over here? 367 00:14:52,174 --> 00:14:54,049 It's a hypothetical. It's just a hypothetical. 368 00:14:54,132 --> 00:14:56,716 Let's say you had a bet with a friend. 369 00:14:56,799 --> 00:14:58,215 You see a pregnant woman who, uh-- 370 00:14:58,299 --> 00:14:59,633 big pregnant woman walking down the street-- 371 00:14:59,716 --> 00:15:01,591 you make a $50 bet with this friend, 372 00:15:01,674 --> 00:15:03,174 that you can induce labor by scaring her. 373 00:15:03,257 --> 00:15:05,049 You go into the bushes, she's walking down the street, 374 00:15:05,132 --> 00:15:06,549 and all of a sudden you jump out. Aah! 375 00:15:06,633 --> 00:15:08,758 -Uh, you in the bushes? -Yeah. 376 00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:10,674 For 50 bucks you're going in the bushes? 377 00:15:10,758 --> 00:15:12,799 Yeah, but it's hypothetical. See if you can induce labor. 378 00:15:12,883 --> 00:15:14,424 Well, what happens if she goes into labor? 379 00:15:14,507 --> 00:15:15,549 -Yeah, what happens if you win? Yeah. 380 00:15:15,633 --> 00:15:16,883 I, I'd drive her to the hospital. 381 00:15:16,965 --> 00:15:19,591 Okay, let's say you're driving her to the hospital, 382 00:15:19,674 --> 00:15:21,633 and along the way to the hospital, 383 00:15:21,716 --> 00:15:23,257 she starts giving birth 384 00:15:23,341 --> 00:15:25,007 -in your car? -Well, that's a problem. 385 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,299 You gotta really think these hypotheticals out. 386 00:15:27,382 --> 00:15:28,924 'Cause they always end poorly. 387 00:15:29,007 --> 00:15:30,257 Okay, I won't scare her. 388 00:15:30,341 --> 00:15:31,633 Okay. Yeah, thank you. 389 00:15:31,716 --> 00:15:33,841 So, I'm so glad you guys finally came over. 390 00:15:33,924 --> 00:15:36,466 -Sorry we're late. -Yeah, that's-- that's on me. 391 00:15:36,549 --> 00:15:38,883 I, you know, I refuse to look at the phone, and like, 392 00:15:38,965 --> 00:15:40,591 I try and go off the watch. I forget, 393 00:15:40,674 --> 00:15:42,090 and it always, like, runs a little late. 394 00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:43,841 Yeah, hard to guess it. -You can't get that fixed? 395 00:15:43,924 --> 00:15:45,883 I've tried, but, you know, 396 00:15:45,965 --> 00:15:48,424 -it always just, like, goes back, you know? -I know a guy who can fix that, 397 00:15:48,507 --> 00:15:50,341 easily. He's, he's great. 398 00:15:50,424 --> 00:15:52,466 -You sure? -K.L. Jeweler, yeah. 399 00:15:52,549 --> 00:15:53,883 -Oh, yeah? -Oh, really? 400 00:15:53,965 --> 00:15:55,633 I drive by there every day. I can just bring it in. 401 00:15:55,716 --> 00:15:57,758 -Ah, all right. Yeah. -That's so nice. 402 00:15:57,841 --> 00:15:58,965 I guarantee it. 403 00:15:59,049 --> 00:16:00,257 Yeah, it's my grandfather's watch. 404 00:16:00,341 --> 00:16:01,424 Gave it to me, like, right before he died. 405 00:16:01,507 --> 00:16:03,257 Oh, yeah? You should get it fixed. 406 00:16:03,341 --> 00:16:04,841 And believe me, if anybody can fix it, 407 00:16:04,924 --> 00:16:06,090 -it's this guy. He's great. Oh, good. 408 00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:07,341 I appreciate that. Aah! 409 00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:08,674 Where are my manners? 410 00:16:08,758 --> 00:16:09,924 You want something to drink? 411 00:16:10,007 --> 00:16:11,382 That would be great. I'm, I'm... 412 00:16:11,466 --> 00:16:12,841 really craving ginger ale. 413 00:16:12,924 --> 00:16:14,466 -Oh, we have ginger ale. Right, Jeff? Do you? 414 00:16:14,549 --> 00:16:17,382 I cannot stock up enough ginger ale. I love ginger ale. 415 00:16:17,466 --> 00:16:19,591 Hey, how 'bout-- I'll get in on the ginger ale. 416 00:16:19,674 --> 00:16:22,299 -You sure you got enough? -Oh, no, we have tons of ginger ale. 417 00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:23,716 Susie: Two ginger ales, Jeffrey. 418 00:16:23,799 --> 00:16:25,257 -Thank you, Jeff. Thank you. -Thank you. 419 00:16:25,341 --> 00:16:27,758 So, um, do you know the sex of the, of the child? 420 00:16:27,841 --> 00:16:29,549 We're gonna have a little baby boy. 421 00:16:29,633 --> 00:16:31,633 A little baby boy. How about that? Oh, so cute! Yeah. 422 00:16:31,716 --> 00:16:34,799 Have you thought about the, um, the skin color at all? 423 00:16:34,883 --> 00:16:36,924 -I'm sorry? You know. The tone? 424 00:16:37,007 --> 00:16:39,466 Would you prefer it's, it's a, it's a little darker? 425 00:16:39,549 --> 00:16:41,799 I would imagine you might prefer it to be a little darker, 426 00:16:41,883 --> 00:16:43,257 as opposed to lighter, no? 427 00:16:43,341 --> 00:16:45,007 Well, I mean, I've never even thought about it. 428 00:16:45,090 --> 00:16:47,799 Huh. -But, I guess like, darker, I guess. 429 00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:49,674 Yeah, I would think. Right? -What? 430 00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:50,883 Yeah, that makes sense. 431 00:16:50,965 --> 00:16:52,549 Uh, I... -What? 432 00:16:52,633 --> 00:16:54,174 -You'd prefer him to be darker? -Prefer it-- 433 00:16:54,257 --> 00:16:55,965 I mean, if someone's asking me, like, if I had to choose, 434 00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:57,424 -I'd say, like darker. -Why are you choosing? 435 00:16:57,507 --> 00:16:59,382 You'd probably like it a little lighter maybe, no? 436 00:16:59,466 --> 00:17:01,841 Tara: No, I, I don't, I don't think 437 00:17:01,924 --> 00:17:03,549 I want my baby to be lighter. 438 00:17:03,633 --> 00:17:05,299 I haven't thought about that at all. 439 00:17:05,382 --> 00:17:07,007 -I'm surprised that you've thought about it. -Oh, yeah. 440 00:17:07,090 --> 00:17:09,299 I mean, well, I, I hadn't thought about it, 441 00:17:09,382 --> 00:17:10,549 but asked the question, I mean-- 442 00:17:10,633 --> 00:17:12,341 I know, but what you could have said, 443 00:17:12,424 --> 00:17:13,633 I don't have a preference, 444 00:17:13,716 --> 00:17:15,424 but you said you'd prefer him to be darker. 445 00:17:15,507 --> 00:17:17,341 -You don't have a preference at all? -No, I don't have a preference. 446 00:17:17,424 --> 00:17:19,215 Say somebody put a gun to your head. 447 00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:22,007 Said, "Do you want you baby to be lighter or darker?" 448 00:17:22,090 --> 00:17:23,424 What would you choose? 449 00:17:23,507 --> 00:17:26,090 Why is someone holding a gun to my head and asking me 450 00:17:26,174 --> 00:17:29,341 -what shade I would prefer my son to be? -It's a hypothetical. 451 00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:31,549 I don't know, see-- -Why is somebody putting a gun to her head? 452 00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:34,090 He wants to-- He wants to find out what your preference is. 453 00:17:34,174 --> 00:17:36,174 So you're walking down the street with Will, 454 00:17:36,257 --> 00:17:38,132 and he snatches you into the backseat of the car, 455 00:17:38,215 --> 00:17:39,382 and now he's got a gun to your head. 456 00:17:39,466 --> 00:17:41,257 "Do you want a lighter or a darker baby? 457 00:17:41,341 --> 00:17:43,382 -What shade? What shade?" -Get away from me! 458 00:17:43,466 --> 00:17:44,799 What color is the guy holding the gun? 459 00:17:44,883 --> 00:17:46,215 He's mocha. Right down the middle. 460 00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:47,799 Right down the middle. -Fifty-fifty. 461 00:17:47,883 --> 00:17:50,049 -Do you want it lighter or darker? I... 462 00:17:50,132 --> 00:17:52,633 I would say on the lighter side. 463 00:17:52,716 --> 00:17:54,965 -Ah. Mm-hmm. See? 464 00:17:55,049 --> 00:17:58,007 -So you have a preference. -But I had a gun to my head. 465 00:17:58,090 --> 00:17:59,132 You didn't have a gun to your head. 466 00:17:59,215 --> 00:18:00,424 We're sitting in a nice living room. 467 00:18:00,507 --> 00:18:01,758 We're getting ginger ales. 468 00:18:01,841 --> 00:18:03,549 Will: I'm proud to be black. I think you'd be 469 00:18:03,633 --> 00:18:05,215 -proud to be black, too. -Oh, of course-- 470 00:18:05,299 --> 00:18:06,507 Okay, I'm sorry. 471 00:18:06,591 --> 00:18:08,341 -I don't feel-- -I'm not wrong. 472 00:18:08,424 --> 00:18:10,215 -I don't feel good. Okay. -Okay. I'm-- 473 00:18:10,299 --> 00:18:11,716 -I'm so sorry. -I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 474 00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,883 -Thank you. Nice to meet you. -Yeah. Thank you so much. 475 00:18:13,965 --> 00:18:16,257 -Okay, thanks for coming. Thank you very much for your hospitality. 476 00:18:16,341 --> 00:18:17,924 -Sorry about all this. -Aw. 477 00:18:18,007 --> 00:18:21,299 -Thanks for having us. I'll get that watch fixed. 478 00:18:22,633 --> 00:18:24,841 What the fuck is the matter with you? 479 00:18:24,924 --> 00:18:26,674 What? 480 00:18:26,758 --> 00:18:28,841 Let me ask you something. 481 00:18:28,924 --> 00:18:32,257 What is so hard about being a matador? I don't get it. 482 00:18:32,341 --> 00:18:34,090 -They have the cape, right? -Right. 483 00:18:34,174 --> 00:18:35,924 The bull seems to run into the cape. 484 00:18:36,007 --> 00:18:37,424 They don't run into the guy. 485 00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:39,549 -How hard is it to go like that? -Right. 486 00:18:39,633 --> 00:18:40,924 -Ow. Aah. -Oh. 487 00:18:41,007 --> 00:18:42,132 -It's right there. -Yeah. 488 00:18:42,215 --> 00:18:43,215 Here's the deal. 489 00:18:43,299 --> 00:18:45,758 You do have a tear in the meniscus. 490 00:18:45,841 --> 00:18:47,466 But it's the outer edge of the meniscus, 491 00:18:47,549 --> 00:18:49,799 and that area will heal itself. 492 00:18:49,883 --> 00:18:52,090 I think some rest, some ice, 493 00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:55,799 some ibuprofen. Uh, I'd put you on a PT course. 494 00:18:55,883 --> 00:18:57,090 Physical therapy. You can come here, 495 00:18:57,174 --> 00:18:58,799 or you can, um, have 'em come to your home. 496 00:18:58,883 --> 00:19:00,591 -Whatever you'd like. Yeah. -What? 497 00:19:00,674 --> 00:19:03,799 What a relief. I just was led to believe that I-- 498 00:19:03,883 --> 00:19:05,257 I was gonna need surgery. 499 00:19:05,341 --> 00:19:08,758 -Oh. Were we a second opinion? -Yeah. 500 00:19:09,257 --> 00:19:12,466 Do you mind me asking who the, uh, other doctor is? 501 00:19:12,549 --> 00:19:14,257 It's Dr. Seiderman. 502 00:19:14,341 --> 00:19:15,633 Good doctor. 503 00:19:15,716 --> 00:19:16,841 Oh, you know him? 504 00:19:16,924 --> 00:19:19,049 We've crossed paths a time or two. 505 00:19:19,132 --> 00:19:20,591 Yeah. 506 00:19:20,674 --> 00:19:23,965 You are gonna tell the other doctor about me. 507 00:19:24,049 --> 00:19:25,299 Yeah. I already did. 508 00:19:25,382 --> 00:19:26,382 -Oh, you did? -Yeah. 509 00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:28,799 Did you mention me by name? 510 00:19:28,883 --> 00:19:31,466 -No. -Okay. 511 00:19:31,549 --> 00:19:33,633 I don't know how I'm gonna tell him. 512 00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:36,591 It's gotta be done. 513 00:19:45,382 --> 00:19:46,758 No patient in there? 514 00:19:46,841 --> 00:19:48,174 No. No patient. 515 00:19:48,257 --> 00:19:50,007 Just a lot of traffic. 516 00:19:50,090 --> 00:19:53,257 Really. So you just put the siren on? 517 00:19:53,341 --> 00:19:54,674 -Yeah. Mm-hmm. -Really? 518 00:19:54,758 --> 00:19:56,174 Another siren abuser. 519 00:19:56,257 --> 00:19:57,674 It's not abuse. I-- 520 00:19:57,758 --> 00:19:59,424 It's more of, it's more use. 521 00:19:59,507 --> 00:20:00,716 If word gets out 522 00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:02,841 that all of you people are just putting sirens on 523 00:20:02,924 --> 00:20:04,341 to get to places faster, 524 00:20:04,424 --> 00:20:06,799 nobody's gonna pull over to the side of the road anymore. 525 00:20:06,883 --> 00:20:08,591 And then you know what's gonna happen? 526 00:20:08,674 --> 00:20:10,507 You're gonna have some dead people. 527 00:20:10,591 --> 00:20:12,799 -Gotta get these inside, sir. -Ugh. Of course! 528 00:20:12,883 --> 00:20:14,424 Enjoy your coffee. 529 00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:18,507 Uh... 530 00:20:18,591 --> 00:20:21,716 According to this doctor, uh... 531 00:20:21,799 --> 00:20:25,674 he said I didn't need to get the... surgery. 532 00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:26,883 No surgery. 533 00:20:26,965 --> 00:20:28,716 He said I just needed some physical therapy, 534 00:20:28,799 --> 00:20:30,924 and some ibuprofen. 535 00:20:31,007 --> 00:20:33,965 And everything will just magically return to, uh, to health, huh? 536 00:20:34,049 --> 00:20:36,674 -Yeah. -So, I think it's worth giving a shot, no? 537 00:20:36,758 --> 00:20:37,965 -And, uh... -Yeah? 538 00:20:38,049 --> 00:20:39,215 ...who was the doctor? 539 00:20:39,299 --> 00:20:41,215 Uh, Dr. Fuller. 540 00:20:41,299 --> 00:20:42,633 -Mark Fuller. -Yeah. 541 00:20:42,716 --> 00:20:45,007 Hmm. Nice doctor. 542 00:20:45,090 --> 00:20:46,341 Good energy. 543 00:20:46,424 --> 00:20:48,257 I know how it goes. 544 00:20:48,341 --> 00:20:50,174 -Well, good luck with your, uh-- -Aw, come on. 545 00:20:50,257 --> 00:20:52,299 Don't... don't be mad. Come on. 546 00:20:52,382 --> 00:20:53,883 Mad? I'm not mad. I'm just-- 547 00:20:53,965 --> 00:20:55,883 You're... you're a little peeved. 548 00:20:55,965 --> 00:20:57,674 Well, good luck in your journey, Larry. 549 00:20:57,758 --> 00:20:59,633 And, uh, I wish you and your knee all the best. 550 00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:02,007 I have a few patients I need to see, so... 551 00:21:02,090 --> 00:21:04,007 if you don't mind. 552 00:21:05,090 --> 00:21:07,299 Okay, let's do the surgery. 553 00:21:07,382 --> 00:21:09,841 No. I'm not, I'm not doing the surgery, Larry. 554 00:21:09,924 --> 00:21:12,049 -What? Come on. Come on, we'll do the surgery. -I'm not doing-- 555 00:21:12,132 --> 00:21:13,591 You'll get no surgery from me. 556 00:21:13,674 --> 00:21:15,841 Nothing. Nada. Not a stitch. Do you understand me? 557 00:21:15,924 --> 00:21:17,841 I don't want anything to do with you or your knee. 558 00:21:17,924 --> 00:21:19,591 -Come on, I said I'll get the surgery. -No! 559 00:21:19,674 --> 00:21:21,090 -Let me just get the surgery. -There's no surgery. 560 00:21:21,174 --> 00:21:22,841 -Don't be like that! I'm sorry! -Like what, Larry? No. 561 00:21:22,924 --> 00:21:25,424 -Sorry's not good enough. -Why are you acting like such a baby? 562 00:21:25,507 --> 00:21:27,674 I'm the baby? You're the one going around town getting a bunch of opinions! 563 00:21:27,758 --> 00:21:29,716 Okay, you know what? I don't need any more opinions, okay? 564 00:21:29,799 --> 00:21:32,924 Just be on the record, though, that I said I'd get the surgery. 565 00:21:33,007 --> 00:21:34,591 -It's on the record, Larry. Thank you. -You don't wanna give it to me. 566 00:21:34,674 --> 00:21:36,090 You blew it! I don't know why I ever 567 00:21:36,174 --> 00:21:37,215 went with you in the first place. 568 00:21:37,299 --> 00:21:39,424 You sicken me! I'm leaving. 569 00:21:39,507 --> 00:21:41,132 Okay? And you'll regret it! 570 00:21:41,215 --> 00:21:44,341 Dominic will validate your parking at the front desk! 571 00:21:58,883 --> 00:22:01,591 Hi. Welcome to M.K.-- 572 00:22:01,674 --> 00:22:02,633 Hey. 573 00:22:02,716 --> 00:22:04,633 -Larry. -Mila? 574 00:22:04,716 --> 00:22:05,924 -Yeah. -What are you doing? 575 00:22:06,007 --> 00:22:07,341 -What is this? -This is my store. 576 00:22:07,424 --> 00:22:08,674 What do you mean, your store? 577 00:22:08,758 --> 00:22:11,466 I opened up this store because of you. 578 00:22:11,549 --> 00:22:12,591 Get this, Larry. 579 00:22:12,674 --> 00:22:15,507 K.L. Jewelers fucked me over. 580 00:22:15,591 --> 00:22:17,174 I went in, I bought a watch. 581 00:22:17,257 --> 00:22:19,382 I started wearing it, I started noticing I was late everywhere I went. 582 00:22:19,466 --> 00:22:21,466 I would go to like, a meeting, and I was, like, five minutes late. 583 00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:23,924 So I walked in, I asked for a refund... 584 00:22:24,007 --> 00:22:25,466 They said no. 585 00:22:25,549 --> 00:22:26,799 Bastards. 586 00:22:26,883 --> 00:22:28,674 So I said, "Fuck you, K.L. Jewelers," 587 00:22:28,758 --> 00:22:31,257 and I opened up M.K. Jewelers. 588 00:22:31,841 --> 00:22:33,174 Spite store, Larry. 589 00:22:33,257 --> 00:22:34,841 Because of you. 590 00:22:34,924 --> 00:22:36,174 I can't tell you how-- 591 00:22:36,257 --> 00:22:38,382 -how pleased I am to hear this. -Well, thank you. 592 00:22:38,466 --> 00:22:39,841 -Anyways, Larry! -Yeah. 593 00:22:39,924 --> 00:22:41,215 -All right. Yeah. -You came in here. What's up? 594 00:22:41,299 --> 00:22:43,257 -Well, I got this watch-- -Yeah. 595 00:22:43,341 --> 00:22:44,633 I was gonna bring it over there. 596 00:22:44,716 --> 00:22:46,215 -Gone now. -Gone now, huh? 597 00:22:46,299 --> 00:22:48,549 -What are you gonna do? -Here you go. 598 00:22:48,965 --> 00:22:50,382 Well, what do you want me to do? 599 00:22:50,466 --> 00:22:51,466 Fix it. 600 00:22:51,549 --> 00:22:53,132 Well, I don't-- I don't do that, Larry. 601 00:22:53,215 --> 00:22:54,841 You can't fix the watch? 602 00:22:54,924 --> 00:22:57,382 No. Sorry. I'm just here for spite. 603 00:22:57,466 --> 00:22:59,883 -Mm. -Yeah. 604 00:22:59,965 --> 00:23:01,758 Jeff: Will and Tara? 605 00:23:01,841 --> 00:23:04,215 Still not talking. Still not talking. 606 00:23:04,299 --> 00:23:06,341 -All because of me? -All because of you. 607 00:23:06,424 --> 00:23:08,049 -Who cares what shade? -Yeah. 608 00:23:08,132 --> 00:23:10,466 What do you think, like, ten years down the road he's gonna go, 609 00:23:10,549 --> 00:23:12,549 "You know, he was never as dark as I wanted." 610 00:23:12,633 --> 00:23:14,382 - 611 00:23:14,466 --> 00:23:16,424 -You know that's never happening. -Yeah. 612 00:23:16,507 --> 00:23:18,466 Hey, you know what? I still have his watch. 613 00:23:18,549 --> 00:23:20,215 -You're kidding me. -No. 614 00:23:20,299 --> 00:23:22,132 I couldn't get it fixed. Look. 615 00:23:22,215 --> 00:23:24,299 So now you gotta carry that thing with you everywhere you go? 616 00:23:24,382 --> 00:23:26,382 -I gotta find a jeweler. -Oh, jeez. 617 00:23:26,466 --> 00:23:28,049 Hey, hey, fellas. 618 00:23:28,132 --> 00:23:29,257 Oh, my God. 619 00:23:29,341 --> 00:23:31,299 Frank: You watch, uh, Channel 5 news? 620 00:23:31,382 --> 00:23:33,924 Well, there's a real smokeshow who does the weather on there, 621 00:23:34,007 --> 00:23:35,507 and, uh, we had a date last night. 622 00:23:35,591 --> 00:23:39,049 Mm. Where'd you go, to the asylum where she's staying? 623 00:23:39,132 --> 00:23:41,174 Go fuck yourself, Larry. 624 00:23:41,965 --> 00:23:45,174 I've never felt such antipathy towards a bald man in my life. 625 00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:48,591 -He's a shanda for the bald. -He's a shanda for the bald. 626 00:23:51,633 --> 00:23:53,466 I'll be right back. 627 00:23:53,716 --> 00:23:55,049 Aha! 628 00:23:55,132 --> 00:23:56,924 There's the water police. 629 00:23:57,007 --> 00:23:58,299 -Aha! -Right on cue. 630 00:23:58,382 --> 00:24:00,883 Look at this. Disrespecting the drought again. 631 00:24:00,965 --> 00:24:02,257 I'm, I'm about to shave. 632 00:24:02,341 --> 00:24:04,758 -Oh, boy. Oh, boy. -Like you, you... 633 00:24:04,841 --> 00:24:06,466 you'd need the hot water with the shaving. 634 00:24:06,549 --> 00:24:08,591 All right. Here's how you save water when you shave. 635 00:24:08,674 --> 00:24:10,591 -Yeah. Uh-huh. -You put the water on, 636 00:24:10,674 --> 00:24:12,799 you rinse the blade, and then you turn the water off. 637 00:24:12,883 --> 00:24:14,965 -Right. -Then you, then you shave a little bit. 638 00:24:15,049 --> 00:24:16,758 -Yeah. -Then you put the water on again. 639 00:24:16,841 --> 00:24:18,758 You rinse it out, you turn it off. 640 00:24:18,841 --> 00:24:20,341 I appreciate the shaving lesson. 641 00:24:20,424 --> 00:24:21,799 -Is that how you do it? -That's how I do it, yeah. 642 00:24:21,883 --> 00:24:23,257 -All right, that'll be $10. -Yeah. 643 00:24:23,341 --> 00:24:24,758 You know, I think there are probably better ways 644 00:24:24,841 --> 00:24:26,507 to save water than following me around here. 645 00:24:26,591 --> 00:24:29,716 -You're right, Joey. You're 100 percent right. -Exactly. Okay. 646 00:24:29,799 --> 00:24:32,883 - - 647 00:25:02,049 --> 00:25:03,841 So, um... 648 00:25:04,883 --> 00:25:07,716 I found my watch... 649 00:25:07,799 --> 00:25:09,591 ...on the ground. It's broken. 650 00:25:09,674 --> 00:25:12,174 I see that. That's, uh, that's too bad. 651 00:25:12,257 --> 00:25:14,841 Any idea what happened to it? 652 00:25:14,924 --> 00:25:17,382 -No. No idea. -Ah, uh-huh. 653 00:25:18,507 --> 00:25:20,716 -I'll tell you what I think, Joey. -Yeah? 654 00:25:20,799 --> 00:25:23,633 I think you turned abruptly, your robe opened up, 655 00:25:23,716 --> 00:25:25,257 and you knocked it over with your big penis. 656 00:25:25,341 --> 00:25:26,716 That's what I think happened. 657 00:25:26,799 --> 00:25:29,090 Okay, I'm sorry. I knocked it over. But it-- I just, 658 00:25:29,174 --> 00:25:31,341 I just turned around, and I, I hit it. 659 00:25:31,424 --> 00:25:33,341 -Okay. Okay. Okay. -I'm sorry, okay? 660 00:25:33,424 --> 00:25:36,841 But I, you know, I told you it's a tough thing to handle. 661 00:25:36,924 --> 00:25:38,341 Accidents happen, you know? 662 00:25:38,424 --> 00:25:39,883 -Accidents happen. Hey! -Yeah. 663 00:25:39,965 --> 00:25:41,299 -No worries. -Yeah. 664 00:25:41,382 --> 00:25:43,090 -No worries. And listen, Joey... -Yeah. 665 00:25:43,174 --> 00:25:46,049 -...if you ever knock anything over again with your penis... -Yeah. 666 00:25:46,132 --> 00:25:47,758 ...you can always come to me. 667 00:25:47,841 --> 00:25:49,758 Thank you. 668 00:25:49,841 --> 00:25:51,299 Okay. 669 00:25:53,215 --> 00:25:56,257 -And cinch that robe, Joey. -Okay, Larry. 670 00:25:57,591 --> 00:25:59,841 Uncle Freddy, the Robust, uh, Select, 671 00:25:59,924 --> 00:26:01,507 just the way you like it-- extra hot and sweet. 672 00:26:01,591 --> 00:26:03,090 You're tremendous. This is maybe 673 00:26:03,174 --> 00:26:04,716 the best I've ever had a coffee brought to me. 674 00:26:04,799 --> 00:26:06,633 -No. Come on. Thank you. -You're killing it, here. 675 00:26:06,716 --> 00:26:08,716 -Hey, Joey, do me a favor, will ya? -Yeah. Yeah. 676 00:26:08,799 --> 00:26:11,007 -I knocked over some beans in the storeroom. -Oh. 677 00:26:11,090 --> 00:26:13,007 -They're all over the floor. -Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 678 00:26:13,090 --> 00:26:14,466 -See you later. Okay. -You're killing it here. 679 00:26:14,549 --> 00:26:15,883 -Hey. -Hey. 680 00:26:15,965 --> 00:26:17,924 -He's doing a tremendous job. -Yeah, he's doing great. 681 00:26:18,007 --> 00:26:19,633 -Speaking of Joey. -Yeah. 682 00:26:19,716 --> 00:26:21,883 Knocked a watch off the bathroom counter 683 00:26:21,965 --> 00:26:24,174 with his, with his giant penis at the club. 684 00:26:24,257 --> 00:26:27,007 Can't repair it. I knew that penis was gonna cause trouble. 685 00:26:27,090 --> 00:26:29,215 It was an accident, all right? Did he feel bad about it? 686 00:26:29,299 --> 00:26:30,591 -Oh, yeah, yeah. -Well, that's all that matters. 687 00:26:30,674 --> 00:26:31,883 He's not used to moving around with it. 688 00:26:31,965 --> 00:26:33,382 -Yeah. Yeah. -I can only imagine. 689 00:26:33,466 --> 00:26:35,424 You gotta break some eggs to make an omelet, right? 690 00:26:35,507 --> 00:26:36,924 Gotta break a couple watches to... 691 00:26:37,007 --> 00:26:38,424 know how to handle a big cock. 692 00:26:38,507 --> 00:26:41,174 -Sure. -Anyway, you're terrific. Congratulations. 693 00:26:41,257 --> 00:26:43,132 See you, Freddy. 694 00:26:47,007 --> 00:26:48,633 -Hey! -Hi, Buck! 695 00:26:48,716 --> 00:26:50,758 Hi. Alice, right? 696 00:26:50,841 --> 00:26:52,257 -Yeah. Yeah. -Yeah. 697 00:26:52,341 --> 00:26:53,549 What can I do for you? 698 00:26:53,633 --> 00:26:55,591 Oh, I will have a cappuccino to go, please. 699 00:26:55,674 --> 00:26:57,758 All right. Joey will take it from here. 700 00:26:57,841 --> 00:26:59,633 Thank you. 701 00:26:59,716 --> 00:27:03,257 Anything else? -Um, how are these? I've never had one before. 702 00:27:03,341 --> 00:27:05,382 Oh, the scones? The scone. Is it good? 703 00:27:05,466 --> 00:27:06,883 Oh, I think they're great. 704 00:27:07,424 --> 00:27:08,841 Mm. -Mm. 705 00:27:19,299 --> 00:27:21,215 -Aah! 706 00:27:22,549 --> 00:27:24,132 You! 707 00:27:24,215 --> 00:27:27,507 -You! -No! 708 00:27:27,591 --> 00:27:30,215 No! I didn't do anything! 709 00:27:37,215 --> 00:27:38,466 Oh, my God. 710 00:27:38,549 --> 00:27:42,049 -Are you okay? -I think so. 711 00:27:43,424 --> 00:27:47,257 -I'm Mocha Joe. -I'm Alice. 712 00:27:47,341 --> 00:27:49,883 Why don't you come inside and sit down? I'll get you a cup of coffee. 713 00:27:50,674 --> 00:27:52,257 Okay. 714 00:27:58,090 --> 00:28:00,883 Did you guys make up? -I mean, kind of. 715 00:28:00,965 --> 00:28:02,424 It's been rough. 716 00:28:02,507 --> 00:28:04,799 -Yeah, we've been fighting. -Oh. So sorry. 717 00:28:04,883 --> 00:28:05,674 She's pissed at me. 718 00:28:05,758 --> 00:28:07,674 -Have a seat. -Here? 719 00:28:07,758 --> 00:28:08,924 Yeah. 720 00:28:09,007 --> 00:28:10,507 Will: You know, like, things you've said, 721 00:28:10,591 --> 00:28:11,965 it's not like you don't mean them, 722 00:28:12,049 --> 00:28:14,007 it's just the type of stuff you don't say. 723 00:28:14,090 --> 00:28:16,049 You don't wanna make her cry, 724 00:28:16,132 --> 00:28:18,924 but at the same time, you're also not wrong, 725 00:28:19,007 --> 00:28:20,299 you know? 726 00:28:20,382 --> 00:28:21,883 Eh-- Are you okay? 727 00:28:21,965 --> 00:28:23,257 -Yeah. -Okay. 728 00:28:23,341 --> 00:28:25,299 And like, like, race is always gonna be an issue. 729 00:28:25,382 --> 00:28:28,174 -Like, it's a part of being in an interracial relationship. -Yeah, yeah, of course. 730 00:28:28,257 --> 00:28:30,674 Like, and then, having a baby is another-- 731 00:28:30,758 --> 00:28:33,633 -You good? -Yeah. What is this thing? It's like-- 732 00:28:33,716 --> 00:28:36,883 half-chair, half-couch. It's a like a furniture centaur. 733 00:28:36,965 --> 00:28:38,382 It's a daybed. 734 00:28:38,466 --> 00:28:40,466 I hope-- I... I never want to blame hormones, 735 00:28:40,549 --> 00:28:43,424 'cause then that's just like a typical overly masculine thing. 736 00:28:43,507 --> 00:28:46,299 -Just sit down! -Okay. 737 00:28:49,174 --> 00:28:50,591 Oh, shoes okay over there? 738 00:28:50,674 --> 00:28:52,341 I'd rather you didn't. 739 00:28:52,965 --> 00:28:54,174 Thank you. 740 00:28:54,257 --> 00:28:55,591 Let me try that again. 741 00:28:55,674 --> 00:28:57,382 -Oh, fuck. Okay. 742 00:28:57,466 --> 00:29:00,090 So, Larry, do you have my watch? 743 00:29:00,174 --> 00:29:02,215 -I'm assuming that's why you came over, yeah? -Yeah. 744 00:29:02,299 --> 00:29:03,924 So I brought it into K.L. Jeweler, 745 00:29:04,007 --> 00:29:05,799 like I told you I was going to, 746 00:29:05,883 --> 00:29:07,132 but it's closed up. 747 00:29:07,215 --> 00:29:08,965 A spite store took him out of business. 748 00:29:09,049 --> 00:29:12,007 -Mila Kunis! -These stupid spite stores. 749 00:29:12,090 --> 00:29:14,633 Do you at least have it, then, if you didn't get it fixed? 750 00:29:16,799 --> 00:29:18,132 There you go. 751 00:29:19,507 --> 00:29:21,758 -Larry, what the hell? So sorry. 752 00:29:21,841 --> 00:29:23,507 What happened to this watch? 753 00:29:23,591 --> 00:29:28,299 The giant penis of a recent sex-change recipient 754 00:29:28,382 --> 00:29:30,883 -knocked it off the counter. -What? 755 00:29:30,965 --> 00:29:33,215 -I'm so sorry. -I should've never trusted you with this, 756 00:29:33,299 --> 00:29:35,424 but I did. You took it, and you got it broke. 757 00:29:35,507 --> 00:29:37,633 -That's your fault. -I'll take 50 percent of the blame. 758 00:29:37,716 --> 00:29:39,215 Fifty percent goes to that penis. 759 00:29:39,299 --> 00:29:41,591 Larry, this is an irreplaceable watch. 760 00:29:41,674 --> 00:29:43,633 -Yeah. -My grandfather gave-- Stop squirming! Please! 761 00:29:43,716 --> 00:29:45,924 -Sorry. -This is my grandfather's watch. I can't replace this. 762 00:29:46,007 --> 00:29:47,633 I was gonna give it to my son. 763 00:29:47,716 --> 00:29:51,049 Just get a comfortable spot and just stay there. 764 00:29:51,132 --> 00:29:52,424 -Okay. 765 00:29:52,507 --> 00:29:53,841 -Oh! -I'm so sorry. 766 00:29:53,924 --> 00:29:56,215 Oh, my God. Tara's having the baby. 767 00:29:56,299 --> 00:29:57,716 -What? -I, I gotta go. 768 00:29:57,799 --> 00:29:59,215 Oh, hey, I'll drive you. 769 00:30:06,507 --> 00:30:09,507 Uh, excuse me. Hey, uh, pardon me. 770 00:30:09,591 --> 00:30:11,007 My, my wife is having a baby. 771 00:30:11,090 --> 00:30:13,132 -I'm Will Cooper. -You're the husband. Come. 772 00:30:13,215 --> 00:30:15,507 She's been asking about you. Everything's fine. 773 00:30:15,591 --> 00:30:17,591 -Okay. I'll be here. 774 00:30:17,674 --> 00:30:19,758 -I thought I recognized you. -Hey, Dr. Fuller. 775 00:30:19,841 --> 00:30:23,299 -How we doing, Larry? -Pretty good. Pretty good. Oh, my God. 776 00:30:23,382 --> 00:30:24,591 -The knee. -Yeah? 777 00:30:24,674 --> 00:30:26,090 It's, it's, it's like a miracle. 778 00:30:26,174 --> 00:30:27,299 So just the PT, yeah? 779 00:30:27,382 --> 00:30:29,132 PT. Some massage. Yeah. 780 00:30:29,215 --> 00:30:31,549 -Do you mind if I, I give it a squeeze? -No, please. 781 00:30:33,049 --> 00:30:36,215 Yeah, it's just there's no swelling left. -Yeah. Amazing, right? 782 00:30:36,841 --> 00:30:38,924 Hi. How's it going? 783 00:30:39,007 --> 00:30:40,174 -Oh, boy. Oh. 784 00:30:40,257 --> 00:30:41,633 -Hey. -Um... 785 00:30:41,716 --> 00:30:43,674 -Ben. -Dr. Fuller. 786 00:30:43,758 --> 00:30:45,965 -Seiderman: I know who it is. Yeah. Oh. 787 00:30:46,049 --> 00:30:48,841 -Just getting out of surgery? -Consultation, actually. 788 00:30:48,924 --> 00:30:50,716 -Oh. Surprising. -Mm. 789 00:30:51,174 --> 00:30:53,090 What are you doing here, Larry? Gettin' a third opinion? 790 00:30:53,174 --> 00:30:55,132 Okay. -Oh, come on. Don't be like that. 791 00:30:55,215 --> 00:30:57,132 -Don't be like what? -He's getting around great. He's happy. 792 00:30:57,215 --> 00:30:58,924 -Oh, yeah? You feelin' good, Larry? -Yeah, I'm-- 793 00:30:59,007 --> 00:31:00,841 -Knees holding up? -Yeah, look. You know, 794 00:31:00,924 --> 00:31:03,549 -it's really good. Yeah. -Look at that. Yeah. We'll see if that lasts. 795 00:31:03,633 --> 00:31:04,841 -Yeah. -Um... 796 00:31:04,924 --> 00:31:06,591 -Hey. Uh, any of you guys know... -Yeah. 797 00:31:06,674 --> 00:31:09,174 ...where I can get a, uh, a watch fixed? 798 00:31:09,257 --> 00:31:10,965 Yeah, my brother-in-law owns a place on Pico. 799 00:31:11,049 --> 00:31:13,424 -Really? -He's the best in the business. Thirty years' experience. 800 00:31:13,507 --> 00:31:14,758 What do you, what do you think? 801 00:31:14,841 --> 00:31:17,883 -I actually have a guy, too. -What? What do-- 802 00:31:17,965 --> 00:31:19,965 You think this dipshit knows a better watch repairman 803 00:31:20,049 --> 00:31:23,174 -It's always so competitive with you. -30 years of experience on Pico! 804 00:31:23,257 --> 00:31:24,424 You know a better guy than that? 805 00:31:24,507 --> 00:31:26,049 I know three guys better than Goldblatt! 806 00:31:26,132 --> 00:31:29,299 -Thirty years on Pico! -The guy breaks watches for a living! 807 00:31:29,382 --> 00:31:30,799 -What do you know? -Unbelievable! 808 00:31:30,883 --> 00:31:32,466 He's the best in the business! 809 00:31:32,549 --> 00:31:34,965 You worked for Larry David? 810 00:31:35,591 --> 00:31:37,507 Yeah. Um... 811 00:31:37,591 --> 00:31:39,090 Yeah, for a little bit, and... 812 00:31:39,174 --> 00:31:41,591 You know, he was just so, like, weird and awful. 813 00:31:41,674 --> 00:31:44,257 He was pervy about-- I have this tattoo here, and... 814 00:31:44,341 --> 00:31:46,549 he would always grab my hand, and ask me what it meant... 815 00:31:46,633 --> 00:31:49,965 It's just the hand of Buddha, with the Eye of Providence. 816 00:31:50,633 --> 00:31:52,633 Oh, my gosh. Yeah, exactly. 817 00:31:52,716 --> 00:31:54,924 Yeah, well... Sorry, I'm just like-- 818 00:31:55,007 --> 00:31:56,883 It's all kind of coming back to me, 819 00:31:56,965 --> 00:32:00,049 'cause I had a bite of his scone, it was like, crumbly and dry, 820 00:32:00,132 --> 00:32:01,549 and it got caught in my throat. 821 00:32:01,633 --> 00:32:03,049 They're terrible. That's a scone. 822 00:32:03,132 --> 00:32:05,132 -I can't wait for you to try it. Okay. 823 00:32:06,132 --> 00:32:08,174 Oh, my gosh. That's so moist. 824 00:32:08,257 --> 00:32:09,758 -Right? It's supposed to be moist. -Yeah. 825 00:32:09,841 --> 00:32:11,424 This whole thing with the dry scone, it drives me crazy. 826 00:32:11,507 --> 00:32:13,341 -This is really good. - 827 00:32:13,424 --> 00:32:16,424 You think Larry David knows anything about making a scone like that? 828 00:32:16,507 --> 00:32:18,758 I'm sorry. Uh, did you say Larry David? 829 00:32:18,841 --> 00:32:20,132 Yeah, why? You know him? 830 00:32:20,215 --> 00:32:22,591 -He's an asshole, right? -One of the biggest. 831 00:32:22,674 --> 00:32:24,007 Pull up a chair. 832 00:32:25,007 --> 00:32:26,507 So. How do you know Larry? 833 00:32:26,591 --> 00:32:30,215 Uh, from the club. But we do not get along at all. 834 00:32:30,299 --> 00:32:31,716 Welcome aboard. 835 00:32:31,799 --> 00:32:33,674 -Oh, my God. - What's wrong? 836 00:32:33,758 --> 00:32:37,174 I just remembered I was gonna sue him for sexual harassment. 837 00:32:37,257 --> 00:32:39,174 What? 838 00:32:41,007 --> 00:32:43,174 -He's perfect. 839 00:32:43,257 --> 00:32:45,007 -He's absolutely... He's so-- 840 00:32:45,090 --> 00:32:46,758 Hey, hey, hey. 841 00:32:46,841 --> 00:32:48,633 -Hey, hey, hey, hey. -Hey. 842 00:32:48,716 --> 00:32:51,132 Look, aw, look at-- This is so exciting! 843 00:32:51,215 --> 00:32:53,466 -Larry, uh, drove me. -Oh. 844 00:32:53,549 --> 00:32:55,799 He was a complete mess. He never would have made it. 845 00:32:55,883 --> 00:32:58,341 -Thank you for driving me. -Thank you. We appreciate that. Thank you. 846 00:32:58,424 --> 00:33:00,132 Yeah. Very cute. 847 00:33:00,215 --> 00:33:01,591 Oh, thank you. -What's his name? 848 00:33:01,674 --> 00:33:03,299 -It's Kwame. -It's Kwame. 849 00:33:03,382 --> 00:33:04,466 -Kwame. Mm-hmm. 850 00:33:04,549 --> 00:33:05,424 Nice name. 851 00:33:05,507 --> 00:33:06,799 -Oh, thank you. -Thank you. 852 00:33:06,883 --> 00:33:08,090 -I think so, too. -Yeah. 853 00:33:08,174 --> 00:33:10,841 A little-- A little light for a Kwame, no? 854 00:33:10,924 --> 00:33:13,174 -What? -A lot of names to pick, but-- 855 00:33:13,257 --> 00:33:14,674 If he was a little darker, maybe. 856 00:33:14,758 --> 00:33:17,049 -Yeah, can you go, please? -You need to get out. 857 00:33:17,132 --> 00:33:19,716 Thanks. Thank you for-- Shh, shh! 858 00:33:20,466 --> 00:33:22,299 Hey, any of you guys want ginger ale? 859 00:33:22,382 --> 00:33:24,215 -Larry, get the fuck out. Got it. 860 00:33:25,341 --> 00:33:27,633 You guys have a good night. 861 00:33:27,716 --> 00:33:30,591 You know, if you wanna take off, I can close up. 862 00:33:30,674 --> 00:33:31,883 -Really? -Yeah. 863 00:33:31,965 --> 00:33:34,174 -You know how to do it? -Yeah. Charge the cups, 864 00:33:34,257 --> 00:33:36,007 turn off the lights, lock the doors. 865 00:33:36,090 --> 00:33:38,549 That's the one I always forget. Lock the fuckin' door. 866 00:33:38,633 --> 00:33:40,716 Hey. We got that big johnson meeting tomorrow. 867 00:33:40,799 --> 00:33:42,633 -Okay. Thanks. Don't forget. 868 00:33:46,591 --> 00:33:49,549 -Pfft. 869 00:34:25,299 --> 00:34:27,841 Oh. 870 00:34:28,633 --> 00:34:32,007 -Oh. Oh, really? 871 00:34:32,090 --> 00:34:35,507 I'm on to you. It's not gonna happen. 872 00:34:39,466 --> 00:34:42,090 Abuse that siren all you want. I'm not pulling over. 873 00:34:52,090 --> 00:34:54,299 You guys make me sick! 874 00:35:08,049 --> 00:35:11,299 -Yeah, uh-huh. 875 00:35:14,883 --> 00:35:17,341 Good luck! Enjoy the coffee! 876 00:35:24,049 --> 00:35:26,382 Fireman: Get a line on that fire! 877 00:35:28,090 --> 00:35:30,591 Excuse me, sir. You can't be this close. It's not safe. 878 00:35:30,674 --> 00:35:32,257 No, no. It's my store! 879 00:35:32,341 --> 00:35:34,424 -Oh, jeez, I'm sorry. What the hell? What, what happened? 880 00:35:34,507 --> 00:35:36,841 We won't know until we've got it under containment. 881 00:35:36,924 --> 00:35:39,049 I just wish we would have gotten here sooner. 882 00:35:39,132 --> 00:35:41,799 Some asshole didn't respect the siren. 883 00:35:41,883 --> 00:35:45,090 Hey! Let's get a ladder up and ventilate the roof. 884 00:35:46,174 --> 00:35:49,132 No! No! What happened? 885 00:35:49,215 --> 00:35:50,299 Mocha Joe's! 886 00:35:50,382 --> 00:35:51,841 -What did you do? -I didn't do anything. 887 00:35:51,924 --> 00:35:53,799 -What did you do? -Hey, look, my store's burning, too! 888 00:35:53,883 --> 00:35:55,716 What do you think I did? You think I burned my store down? 889 00:35:55,799 --> 00:35:56,965 First you open up a spite store, 890 00:35:57,049 --> 00:35:59,132 and then you burn my store down? Huh? 891 00:35:59,215 --> 00:36:00,507 I'm gonna sue you. 892 00:36:00,591 --> 00:36:02,799 I'm gonna sue you for everything you got. 893 00:36:02,883 --> 00:36:04,549 When I get through with you, you'll be broke! 894 00:36:04,633 --> 00:36:07,132 -But I didn't do it! -Oh, I don't give a shit if you did it or not! 895 00:36:07,215 --> 00:36:10,174 We'll let the judge decide! You hear me? 896 00:36:20,758 --> 00:36:22,674 Sorry about your place. 897 00:36:22,758 --> 00:36:24,716 Unbelievable, huh? 898 00:36:24,799 --> 00:36:26,215 We did the best we could. 899 00:36:26,299 --> 00:36:27,841 Tried to break one of the windows out, 900 00:36:27,924 --> 00:36:29,299 get some more hoses in there, but... 901 00:36:29,382 --> 00:36:30,924 all the tables were bolted to the floor. 902 00:36:31,007 --> 00:36:33,341 Yeah, that's to prevent the table from wobbling. 903 00:36:33,424 --> 00:36:34,965 Oh, you, you did that yourself? 904 00:36:35,049 --> 00:36:36,591 Yeah, I don't like wobbly tables. 905 00:36:36,674 --> 00:36:38,299 And you had Purell on every table, 906 00:36:38,382 --> 00:36:39,591 which is an accelerant. 907 00:36:39,674 --> 00:36:41,591 People love the Purell. 908 00:36:41,674 --> 00:36:43,382 And the tables that didn't wobble. 909 00:36:43,466 --> 00:36:44,883 Normally in this situation, 910 00:36:44,965 --> 00:36:47,674 if we can't break the windows to get more hoses in, 911 00:36:47,758 --> 00:36:49,382 we'd access the water from the toilets, 912 00:36:49,466 --> 00:36:50,924 but we couldn't find them. 913 00:36:51,007 --> 00:36:53,257 -Yeah, there are no toilets. -What? 914 00:36:53,341 --> 00:36:55,257 Coffee's a diuretic, and you don't have toilets? 915 00:36:55,341 --> 00:36:57,591 Yeah, I didn't want any defecating in the store. 916 00:36:57,674 --> 00:36:58,799 We had urinals. 917 00:36:58,883 --> 00:37:00,591 Where? I looked in there. 918 00:37:00,674 --> 00:37:03,215 Oh, no. You gotta press the button. That opens up a chute. 919 00:37:03,299 --> 00:37:05,758 -What, like a secret compartment? -Yeah, kinda. 920 00:37:05,841 --> 00:37:08,841 And, uh, the ladies, they, they hang from a bar. 921 00:37:09,382 --> 00:37:11,924 -Yeah. -I don't get it. I don't get anything with this place. 922 00:37:12,007 --> 00:37:13,841 Any idea how this started? 923 00:37:13,924 --> 00:37:16,466 Yeah, it looks like it started in the storeroom. 924 00:37:16,549 --> 00:37:20,132 Someone knocked one of these self-heating cups off a shelf, 925 00:37:20,215 --> 00:37:22,716 it hit some papers, turned on, 926 00:37:22,799 --> 00:37:25,132 heated up and ignited the papers. 927 00:37:26,965 --> 00:37:28,174 Joey. 928 00:37:29,049 --> 00:37:32,049 I knew that big penis was nothing but trouble. 929 00:37:32,132 --> 00:37:33,507 I'm sorry, what? 930 00:37:33,591 --> 00:37:36,174 I knew that big penis was nothing but trouble. 931 00:37:36,257 --> 00:37:37,466 Okay, I guess I heard what you said. 932 00:37:37,549 --> 00:37:39,132 I don't know what you're talking about. 933 00:37:39,215 --> 00:37:41,424 Nah, it's a long story. 934 00:37:41,507 --> 00:37:45,382 Anyway, if I was trying to tell someone how to burn a place down, 935 00:37:45,466 --> 00:37:48,799 I would suggest every step you took in your business. 936 00:37:48,883 --> 00:37:51,424 So they're probably gonna investigate you. 937 00:37:51,507 --> 00:37:54,549 You did so many stupid things, it looks like arson. 938 00:37:54,633 --> 00:37:56,174 Arson? 939 00:38:27,549 --> 00:38:30,299 Hey, Larry! Look! It's Larry David! 940 00:38:30,382 --> 00:38:31,674 Hi, Larry. 941 00:38:31,758 --> 00:38:32,716 I'm glad you're here. 942 00:38:32,799 --> 00:38:33,924 You know, we never got a chance 943 00:38:34,007 --> 00:38:34,965 to thank you for the house. 944 00:38:35,049 --> 00:38:36,716 I mean, we love it. We really do. 945 00:38:36,799 --> 00:38:38,799 I mean, if it wasn't for the insurance money, 946 00:38:38,883 --> 00:38:41,341 -and the lawsuit settlements-- Hey, you know what? 947 00:38:41,424 --> 00:38:43,424 It's customary when people have a party 948 00:38:43,507 --> 00:38:45,466 to inform your neighbors as a courtesy. 949 00:38:45,549 --> 00:38:48,090 Right, right. You're 100 percent right. I'm sorry. 950 00:38:48,174 --> 00:38:50,633 Hey, Larry. We're having a party. 951 00:38:50,716 --> 00:38:52,965 -Oh, we're having one next week, too. -That's right. 952 00:38:53,049 --> 00:38:55,466 -What are we having? What are we having? -We're having a luau. 953 00:38:55,549 --> 00:38:57,257 - A luau! Isn't that right, Bogie? 954 00:38:57,341 --> 00:39:01,174 You know why? Because that's what spite houses are for!