1
00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:16,300
( TV ) puffy shirt, puffy shirt.

2
00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:19,633
( Laughing )

3
00:00:21,467 --> 00:00:26,967
Uh, can you spare a little
change for an old buccaneer?

4
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,300
You know, it's really
not a bad looking shirt.

5
00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:33,267
Good show. Alright, good show.

6
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:35,900
( Phone ringing ) oh, Jesus.

7
00:00:35,933 --> 00:00:37,843
Don't answer it, I'm,
I don't want to talk to her.

8
00:00:37,867 --> 00:00:41,233
Well, why does she have
to call after every episode?

9
00:00:41,267 --> 00:00:43,233
Oh, don't... I'm not here.

10
00:00:43,267 --> 00:00:44,333
Hello?

11
00:00:44,367 --> 00:00:46,133
Hi, Marilyn.

12
00:00:46,167 --> 00:00:49,467
Uh, yeah, we just watched it.

13
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:53,700
Yeah, I know, it's...
It was one of the good ones.

14
00:00:53,733 --> 00:00:58,033
Um, he's actually,
he's unavailable.

15
00:00:58,067 --> 00:00:59,400
Mm-hmm.

16
00:00:59,433 --> 00:01:03,233
Uh, okay, bye.

17
00:01:03,267 --> 00:01:06,133
Tell him it was one of
my favorite episodes.

18
00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:08,500
It made me laugh so hard.

19
00:01:08,533 --> 00:01:10,543
Oh, my god. I swear, it gets
better every time I see it.

20
00:01:10,567 --> 00:01:13,300
I can't believe this woman has
to call after every single show.

21
00:01:13,333 --> 00:01:17,967
Every, I mean, does it
ever end with this lady?

22
00:01:18,067 --> 00:01:19,400
What are you doing tomorrow?

23
00:01:19,433 --> 00:01:21,867
I'm getting my physical
for the producers.

24
00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:23,567
Can you do me a favor?

25
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,500
Will you pick up a, um,

26
00:01:25,533 --> 00:01:27,633
a present for the
doosenbury's baby shower?

27
00:01:27,667 --> 00:01:28,900
Me?

28
00:01:28,933 --> 00:01:31,066
You're gonna be right there,
there's a toy store right...

29
00:01:31,067 --> 00:01:33,500
You would entrust me
with something like that?

30
00:01:33,533 --> 00:01:34,533
A gift for a baby?

31
00:01:34,567 --> 00:01:37,233
Just get a, a doll or something.

32
00:01:37,267 --> 00:01:40,867
So you want me to get
a doll for Betty?

33
00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,633
Get a doll for Betty.

34
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:43,633
It's her baby shower.

35
00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:45,233
Well, what about the surrogate?

36
00:01:45,267 --> 00:01:46,733
Get her anything?

37
00:01:46,767 --> 00:01:49,067
I don't think you need
to worry about the surrogate.

38
00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:50,633
Well, I don't know about that.

39
00:01:50,667 --> 00:01:53,067
I think the surrogate
is a person, too.

40
00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:54,400
She's having the baby.

41
00:01:54,433 --> 00:01:56,900
The shower is for Betty.

42
00:01:56,933 --> 00:01:58,143
So she's gonna be
opening her presents,

43
00:01:58,167 --> 00:01:59,843
the surrogate's gonna be
standing there like an idiot,

44
00:01:59,867 --> 00:02:01,100
and she has nothing to open?

45
00:02:01,133 --> 00:02:03,933
The whole thing's, what's
the surrogate etiquette?

46
00:02:03,967 --> 00:02:06,633
Okay, use your judgment,
whever you think.

47
00:02:06,667 --> 00:02:09,167
If that's what you
want to do, that's fine.

48
00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:14,900
Hey, Charlie,
what's going on there?

49
00:02:14,933 --> 00:02:16,066
H, what?

50
00:02:16,067 --> 00:02:17,267
What? Huh?

51
00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:19,167
Come on, you know
I can't do anything.

52
00:02:21,833 --> 00:02:24,167
Because the dog bit your penis?

53
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,200
Yes.

54
00:02:28,367 --> 00:02:30,500
And so you're...

55
00:02:30,533 --> 00:02:32,267
It's not ready, I'm not ready.

56
00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:35,633
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
a couple more days.

57
00:02:48,567 --> 00:02:49,700
Mr. David?

58
00:02:54,233 --> 00:02:57,733
Can I make an observation?

59
00:02:57,767 --> 00:02:59,733
That magazine collection,

60
00:02:59,767 --> 00:03:01,733
you really need to do
something about that.

61
00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:05,533
I'm not complaining, I'm just,
just making an observation.

62
00:03:05,567 --> 00:03:08,233
Well, the doctor's
ready to see you.

63
00:03:08,267 --> 00:03:09,700
Okay.

64
00:03:09,733 --> 00:03:11,933
Just, you know,
just for your information.

65
00:03:11,967 --> 00:03:13,167
F.y.i. kind of thing.

66
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,800
It's right that way. Okay.

67
00:03:19,067 --> 00:03:20,567
What are you doing,

68
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,700
stealing your magazines
from garbage cans?

69
00:03:22,733 --> 00:03:25,100
I have never seen such a
collection of shit in my life.

70
00:03:25,133 --> 00:03:26,133
Alright, we have...

71
00:03:26,167 --> 00:03:28,233
They're all four years old,
those things.

72
00:03:28,267 --> 00:03:29,867
We have other things
that we think about

73
00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:30,967
other than the magazines,

74
00:03:31,067 --> 00:03:32,443
like giving people
medical assistance.

75
00:03:32,467 --> 00:03:35,667
Ladies home journal
from, from 2001.

76
00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:37,800
People magazine.

77
00:03:37,833 --> 00:03:39,367
Tom Cruise is 40.

78
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,167
Emilio estevez is 40.
Just, just keep walking.

79
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:43,367
Wow! Okay.

80
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:44,133
Alright, good.

81
00:03:44,167 --> 00:03:45,567
Good for them, they're 40!

82
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,943
You know, it sounds like
you're reading a lot

83
00:03:46,967 --> 00:03:48,076
of these magazines
you don't like.

84
00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:49,109
I was looking at it out there,

85
00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:50,300
it was right on the cover...

86
00:03:50,333 --> 00:03:52,167
Yeah, you got a lot of
that stuff memorized.

87
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,300
Give me a golf magazine
or something.

88
00:03:55,333 --> 00:03:56,867
I got the point,
we got it, gotcha.

89
00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:58,133
Get nation, how about nation?

90
00:03:58,167 --> 00:03:59,300
Nation, that's a...

91
00:03:59,333 --> 00:04:00,609
You read nation?
It's a fabulous magazine.

92
00:04:00,633 --> 00:04:03,133
I have read nation,
that's a good one.

93
00:04:03,167 --> 00:04:04,467
Hey, Larry.

94
00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:05,433
Hi, Renee.

95
00:04:05,467 --> 00:04:06,533
How you feeling?

96
00:04:06,567 --> 00:04:08,300
Good. Good.

97
00:04:08,333 --> 00:04:10,733
( Beeping )

98
00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:14,067
( Beeping increasing )

99
00:04:21,467 --> 00:04:23,233
Larry, how you feeling?

100
00:04:23,267 --> 00:04:24,200
Okay.

101
00:04:24,233 --> 00:04:27,367
Unfortunately, I can't
give you a clean

102
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,476
bill of health at this point.

103
00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:30,067
Yeah, I don't know
what happened.

104
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:33,200
There was a little,
slight abnormality.

105
00:04:33,233 --> 00:04:34,533
We were going along great,

106
00:04:34,567 --> 00:04:36,100
and you kind of spiked
a little there.

107
00:04:36,133 --> 00:04:39,500
And I, I can't, I can't
sign the form for you.

108
00:04:42,967 --> 00:04:45,233
Believe me, there's nothing
wrong with me, I'm fine.

109
00:04:45,267 --> 00:04:48,833
Jack, I'm fine,
trust me, I'm fine.

110
00:04:48,867 --> 00:04:51,633
Larry, I can't
sign the form for you

111
00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:53,867
without taking some
precautions, okay?

112
00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:55,066
And here's what we're gonna do.

113
00:04:55,067 --> 00:04:56,700
It's simple, come on.

114
00:04:56,733 --> 00:04:58,167
There's no irregularity.

115
00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,667
Yes, there is, Larry!

116
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:02,167
Believe, I went
to medical school, I know.

117
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:05,133
So what we're gonna do is this,
listen, it's simple.

118
00:05:05,167 --> 00:05:07,700
I'm gonna give you a device
called a heart halter, okay?

119
00:05:07,733 --> 00:05:09,600
This is ridiculous.

120
00:05:09,633 --> 00:05:11,066
Larry, I have to do it.

121
00:05:11,067 --> 00:05:12,267
I have to do it.

122
00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:14,933
It straps on,
a couple of electrodes,

123
00:05:14,967 --> 00:05:17,333
you wear it for 24 hours,
it measures your heartbeat,

124
00:05:17,367 --> 00:05:21,667
you come back and if this was
an abnormality, an aberration,

125
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:22,867
the device will confirm it.

126
00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:24,800
You get back on the treadmill
for five minutes,

127
00:05:24,833 --> 00:05:26,667
I sign the slip
and you're off to Broadway.

128
00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:27,833
Rene?

129
00:05:27,867 --> 00:05:29,066
Do you hav the halter?

130
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,343
You want to, you want
to give that to Larry?

131
00:05:30,367 --> 00:05:32,276
Larry, I'm gonna schedule you
for an appointment tomorrow.

132
00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:34,376
Don't be a baby, let Renee
do this, will you please?

133
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,600
Come on. Will you stand up?

134
00:05:35,633 --> 00:05:38,900
Will you take off
your jacket, Larry?

135
00:05:38,933 --> 00:05:39,800
Great.

136
00:05:39,833 --> 00:05:41,700
It's really easy.

137
00:05:41,733 --> 00:05:43,333
There we go.

138
00:05:43,367 --> 00:05:45,433
There you go.

139
00:05:45,467 --> 00:05:46,933
That's it.

140
00:05:46,967 --> 00:05:48,600
There.

141
00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:55,067
So, I got to tell you
what happened last night.

142
00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:56,443
You know, I took
Renee home, you know.

143
00:05:56,467 --> 00:05:58,667
And, uh, we stopped and, uh...

144
00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:00,300
Yeah, I just saw her
at Dr. Jack's.

145
00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:01,300
He's unbelievable.

146
00:06:01,333 --> 00:06:02,967
Yeah, she's beyond unbelievable.

147
00:06:03,067 --> 00:06:05,066
But the point of it is that I,

148
00:06:05,067 --> 00:06:07,933
look, have you ever made it
with an African-American?

149
00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,467
Yes.

150
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:10,900
Twice.

151
00:06:10,933 --> 00:06:12,233
What, the same one twice?

152
00:06:12,267 --> 00:06:13,067
Two different ones.

153
00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:13,933
Same time?

154
00:06:13,967 --> 00:06:15,933
No, same time, never same time.

155
00:06:15,967 --> 00:06:17,543
I'll tell you right now,
I'll tell you right now,

156
00:06:17,567 --> 00:06:19,233
for some reason
I, I, I never, I,

157
00:06:19,267 --> 00:06:20,509
I never did it with,
with a black...

158
00:06:20,533 --> 00:06:22,700
Hmm, so you never met,
you never met one, or...

159
00:06:22,733 --> 00:06:24,600
No, no one I really, you know...

160
00:06:24,633 --> 00:06:26,100
Okay, so she'll be the first.

161
00:06:26,133 --> 00:06:27,933
This woman's extraordinary.

162
00:06:27,967 --> 00:06:30,167
So, here's the thing,

163
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,066
a couple of months ago
I went to a knick game.

164
00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:33,367
And I went into the locker room

165
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,633
to say hello to some of
my friends, you know.

166
00:06:35,667 --> 00:06:37,367
And they were showering
and I looked,

167
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:38,767
I saw one of the forwards.

168
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:41,367
And he just threw the towel off,
he was getting dressed,

169
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:42,067
and I looked down, I saw...

170
00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:44,066
Big? Big, yea.

171
00:06:44,067 --> 00:06:45,800
Big? Uh, ?

172
00:06:45,833 --> 00:06:48,066
They could put the Chicago
fire out with this.

173
00:06:48,067 --> 00:06:49,433
It was... It was a joke.

174
00:06:49,467 --> 00:06:50,300
Well...

175
00:06:50,333 --> 00:06:52,066
It was like from another planet.

176
00:06:52,067 --> 00:06:53,567
Well, he's a big guy,
he's a forward.

177
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,633
You need to see a guard,
did you see a guard?

178
00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:57,433
You can't tell by a forward,
they're too big,

179
00:06:57,467 --> 00:06:58,400
he's out of proportion.

180
00:06:58,433 --> 00:07:00,767
I don't care, it's me and Renee.

181
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,900
And I, and maybe because,
maybe because, you know,

182
00:07:03,933 --> 00:07:05,076
she's black, she maybe
dates, you know...

183
00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:07,267
So you think the black woman
might be used to a...

184
00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:09,433
Well, I mean, if they're used,
I mean, if that...

185
00:07:09,467 --> 00:07:10,800
Not a myth or,
I mean, if it is...

186
00:07:10,833 --> 00:07:12,967
I could see how, like,
yeah, it could be a concern.

187
00:07:13,067 --> 00:07:15,700
I don't know whether I would
ever want to have intercourse

188
00:07:15,733 --> 00:07:18,233
with her, because
I'm a little intimidated.

189
00:07:18,267 --> 00:07:20,309
And you're one of the few
friends I can tell this to.

190
00:07:20,333 --> 00:07:24,533
Okay, well, then maybe
I can, I can step in.

191
00:07:24,567 --> 00:07:26,800
I got that 10th
anniversary present.

192
00:07:26,833 --> 00:07:29,066
I'm saying if you
want to, you know,

193
00:07:29,067 --> 00:07:33,233
if you're too intimidated to go
through with it, I could try.

194
00:07:33,267 --> 00:07:34,376
A good friend doesn't do that.

195
00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,833
You don't, you don't...
You don't have intercourse

196
00:07:36,867 --> 00:07:39,066
with someone who
your friend doesn't screw.

197
00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:41,533
Why, it would be a nice 10th
anniversary present for me?

198
00:07:41,567 --> 00:07:43,900
I'd rather go to Tiffany's
and get you a bowl.

199
00:07:43,933 --> 00:07:46,300
I don't want a bowl.

200
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:47,333
Alright.

201
00:07:49,867 --> 00:07:52,066
Here you go.

202
00:07:52,067 --> 00:07:54,533
Yeah, I'm not the valet.

203
00:07:54,567 --> 00:07:57,400
Oh, I'm, I'm... yeah.

204
00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:59,276
It is possible for black people
to have other jobs.

205
00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:00,900
No, uh, no, I know, of course.

206
00:08:00,933 --> 00:08:02,376
Yeah, yeah, I already
know, man, okay.

207
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:03,300
No, because...

208
00:08:03,333 --> 00:08:05,267
It's because I'm black.

209
00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:07,400
I'm sorry. Yeah.

210
00:08:07,433 --> 00:08:09,066
You fucked up.

211
00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:10,433
Sorry.

212
00:08:12,467 --> 00:08:13,467
Sorry.

213
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:25,733
So, you automatically think the
black man is the valet, huh?

214
00:08:25,767 --> 00:08:26,776
No, I don't automatically...

215
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,067
Yes, you did, I saw it.

216
00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:30,200
No, he's standing
by the valet...

217
00:08:30,233 --> 00:08:31,467
"Get my car, boy."

218
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,700
I saw it, Larry.

219
00:08:33,733 --> 00:08:35,409
He had on a white shirt,
and a red tie and a vest.

220
00:08:35,433 --> 00:08:37,376
He's standing by the valet sign,
it's an honest mistake, c'mon.

221
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:42,233
Oh yeah, yeah, anytime I see
a black man in a tie and a suit,

222
00:08:42,267 --> 00:08:44,467
I think "hey, you must
park cars for a living."

223
00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:45,809
I feel it was an
honest mistake, Wanda.

224
00:08:45,833 --> 00:08:48,967
No, no, if it was a white man
standing here, you would not.

225
00:08:49,067 --> 00:08:51,367
Would have given him
the valet, I, I would too.

226
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,233
I would, too have.
No, you wouldn't.

227
00:08:52,267 --> 00:08:53,100
Too, too. No, you wouldn't.

228
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,233
No, you would have asked him...

229
00:08:55,267 --> 00:08:56,300
Too, too... Not.

230
00:08:56,333 --> 00:09:00,066
You would have asked him
for a stock tip, or,

231
00:09:00,067 --> 00:09:01,176
oh, yeah, right.
So, where you golf?

232
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,367
How's the filming going?

233
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,800
It's good.

234
00:09:04,833 --> 00:09:05,933
I'm shooting over there.

235
00:09:05,967 --> 00:09:07,267
On my little break.

236
00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:09,467
Let me ask you a question.

237
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:12,767
You've slept with a lot of white
men and black men, I'm sure.

238
00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:14,433
Is there any
discernible difference?

239
00:09:14,467 --> 00:09:15,533
What?

240
00:09:15,567 --> 00:09:17,100
Let me rephrase that.

241
00:09:17,133 --> 00:09:17,900
Let me rephrase that.

242
00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:19,066
Yeah, rephrase that.

243
00:09:19,067 --> 00:09:22,500
Um, is there any
discernible difference

244
00:09:22,533 --> 00:09:26,767
between a white man
and a black man...

245
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,133
You know...

246
00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:35,267
Why would you ask me
something like that, Larry?

247
00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:36,933
My friend wants to know.

248
00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:37,967
Why, what's the big deal?

249
00:09:38,067 --> 00:09:39,600
I am not gonna answer that.

250
00:09:39,633 --> 00:09:42,300
( Spitting )

251
00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:43,333
That, what is that?

252
00:09:43,367 --> 00:09:44,509
What the fuck,
what are you doing?

253
00:09:44,533 --> 00:09:45,967
It's a bug, a bug.

254
00:09:46,067 --> 00:09:47,067
I had a bug on me.

255
00:09:47,068 --> 00:09:48,609
Well look, did you get
my script to that guy,

256
00:09:48,633 --> 00:09:50,133
that Martin schaffer?

257
00:09:50,167 --> 00:09:52,476
Oh, oh yeah, everything's okay,
since I owe you a little favor.

258
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,233
Yes, he did.
Did he get my script?

259
00:09:54,267 --> 00:09:55,567
And what? And?

260
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,067
I gave it to him, and he'll
read it and get back to you.

261
00:09:58,100 --> 00:09:59,767
He's not gonna
rewrite it, is he?

262
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:00,833
No.

263
00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:03,033
Okay, 'cause that's my baby.

264
00:10:03,067 --> 00:10:04,267
Oh, yeah, yeah.

265
00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:05,643
I don't want anybody
messing with my baby.

266
00:10:05,667 --> 00:10:06,876
Yeah, no one's going
to mess with your baby,

267
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:07,867
don't worry about it.

268
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:09,367
I'm going back to work.

269
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:10,333
Yeah, go back to work, yeah.

270
00:10:10,367 --> 00:10:12,467
Messing with you. Yeah.

271
00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:15,367
Is there any black men around
here to, is there a valet?

272
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,633
I need a black man
to get my car.

273
00:10:18,667 --> 00:10:20,167
Is there a black man in the area

274
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,033
who wants to take
my valet ticket?

275
00:10:31,133 --> 00:10:32,600
Excuse me?

276
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:33,467
Yeah, hi.

277
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:34,833
Sure. You work here?

278
00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:36,533
Is this the only doll?

279
00:10:36,567 --> 00:10:37,900
Yeah, that's the only one left.

280
00:10:37,933 --> 00:10:40,267
That's it? Yeah, last one.

281
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:43,567
Huh. Isn't that cute?

282
00:10:46,267 --> 00:10:48,000
What's the race on this doll?

283
00:10:48,033 --> 00:10:49,233
Uh, it's bi-racial.

284
00:10:49,267 --> 00:10:50,500
Bi-racial? Yeah.

285
00:10:50,533 --> 00:10:53,433
Really? Yeah, absolutely.

286
00:10:53,467 --> 00:10:54,833
Huh.

287
00:10:54,867 --> 00:11:00,233
So, they make this doll
specifically for mixed couples?

288
00:11:00,267 --> 00:11:01,200
For black and white couples?

289
00:11:01,233 --> 00:11:03,133
They make a doll for their kids?

290
00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:04,433
I don't know.

291
00:11:04,467 --> 00:11:06,800
If somebody's Asian,
and they marry a white person,

292
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:10,633
are they making sort of a half
Asian, half white doll, too?

293
00:11:10,667 --> 00:11:12,333
See what I'm getting at?

294
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:13,867
Yeah.

295
00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:16,400
I think that's, yeah.

296
00:11:16,433 --> 00:11:20,066
Hmm, I wonder if you do.

297
00:11:20,067 --> 00:11:21,233
Okay.

298
00:11:21,267 --> 00:11:24,600
Um, well I guess I'll take it.

299
00:11:24,633 --> 00:11:26,167
Excellent, let me
wrap it up for you.

300
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:27,500
Okay.

301
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,066
Oh, surprise, it says meow.

302
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,533
Isn't that adorable?

303
00:11:35,567 --> 00:11:37,833
Oh, I love it,
thank you so much.

304
00:11:37,867 --> 00:11:39,367
That's so sweet.

305
00:11:45,733 --> 00:11:48,767
( Whispering ) thank
you, you made it.

306
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,667
What, what is this?

307
00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:53,543
Oh, that's for my heart,
it's to monitor my heart.

308
00:11:53,567 --> 00:11:54,667
What?

309
00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:55,709
No, no, I'm fine, there
was an aberration in...

310
00:11:55,733 --> 00:11:56,533
My god, that's heavy...

311
00:11:56,567 --> 00:11:58,767
No, I've got wires under there.

312
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,833
Are you okay? No, I'm fine.

313
00:12:00,867 --> 00:12:01,933
What does that mean?

314
00:12:01,967 --> 00:12:03,109
Nothing, it's just,
there was something wrong

315
00:12:03,133 --> 00:12:04,909
with the machine,
the doctor wouldn't sign off.

316
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:05,973
It's nothing, it's just...

317
00:12:06,067 --> 00:12:07,176
How long do you
have to wear this?

318
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:08,400
Just a day.

319
00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:10,667
Doesn't Bernie doosenbury
look like Steve DeMarco?

320
00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:11,800
No.

321
00:12:11,833 --> 00:12:12,876
Are you kidding,
he looks exactly like him.

322
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:15,100
Yes. Steve DeMarco?

323
00:12:15,133 --> 00:12:16,633
They don't look anything alike.

324
00:12:16,667 --> 00:12:18,067
Any time I ever point out that

325
00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:20,533
somebody looks like someone
else, you always disagree.

326
00:12:20,567 --> 00:12:22,066
Because they never do.

327
00:12:22,067 --> 00:12:24,767
They always do. They never do.

328
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:25,267
Is that, hey, oh,
she's opening our gift.

329
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:26,067
Oh, good.

330
00:12:26,068 --> 00:12:28,067
This is from the Davids.

331
00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:30,967
Oh, a doll.

332
00:12:31,067 --> 00:12:32,067
It's a mulatto.

333
00:12:36,567 --> 00:12:38,567
No good?

334
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,700
Bi-racial is what
we call it, usually.

335
00:12:40,733 --> 00:12:42,333
Bi-racial.

336
00:12:42,367 --> 00:12:44,500
Hmm, what do you
know about that?

337
00:12:44,533 --> 00:12:46,533
Oh look, they gave us
another one, too.

338
00:12:46,567 --> 00:12:50,133
That's actually, um,
for the surrogate.

339
00:12:50,167 --> 00:12:51,167
Oh.

340
00:12:57,133 --> 00:12:58,567
Well, that's it, gang.

341
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:03,400
Um, why don't we have
some coffee or some desert,

342
00:13:03,433 --> 00:13:04,567
'cause that's it.

343
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,200
That's all the gifts.

344
00:13:06,233 --> 00:13:07,200
( Male ) thank you guys for
coming, thanks for the gifts.

345
00:13:07,233 --> 00:13:08,633
What?

346
00:13:13,067 --> 00:13:14,700
He.

347
00:13:14,733 --> 00:13:16,066
Thank you so much.

348
00:13:16,067 --> 00:13:17,167
You're welcome.

349
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,367
I didn't expect it.

350
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:19,776
You're the one carrying
the baby, that's your baby.

351
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,133
I wouldn't expect them to,
but thank you.

352
00:13:22,167 --> 00:13:24,133
It's very unnecessary.

353
00:13:24,167 --> 00:13:24,667
Yeah.

354
00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:25,867
What do you do?

355
00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:26,767
I'm a writer.

356
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,067
Oh, that's cool.

357
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,067
Sounds good.

358
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,933
Yeah.ye.

359
00:13:31,967 --> 00:13:34,200
Sometimes though,
it's not such a great job.

360
00:13:34,233 --> 00:13:36,667
You know, like for example
I got this friend.

361
00:13:36,700 --> 00:13:40,867
She just gave a script
to me to give to somebody.

362
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:42,967
She said, "don't let him
touch my baby", you know.

363
00:13:43,067 --> 00:13:44,733
That's what they do.

364
00:13:44,767 --> 00:13:47,400
You work on something
for months and months,

365
00:13:47,433 --> 00:13:52,066
then they take it away from you,
and then that's it.

366
00:13:52,067 --> 00:13:52,867
You never see it again.

367
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,333
They take your baby from you,

368
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:58,267
they give your baby to
somebody else, and that's it.

369
00:13:58,300 --> 00:14:01,533
You've lost complete
contact with your baby.

370
00:14:01,567 --> 00:14:03,767
You never see the baby again,
and it's your baby.

371
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,600
And they give it
to another writer.

372
00:14:05,633 --> 00:14:07,933
And that writer doesn't let you
even look at your baby.

373
00:14:07,967 --> 00:14:10,367
But that's part of your job,
that's what you signed up for.

374
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,066
I mean, you knew
you had to give it away.

375
00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:14,933
Sort of, but it's hard
to give up that baby.

376
00:14:14,967 --> 00:14:16,233
Maybe in a few years

377
00:14:16,267 --> 00:14:18,176
you can see how your script's
doing or something.

378
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,267
Yeah, I know, but then
it's all changed.

379
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:23,567
You have nothing to do with it.

380
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:25,200
Alright.

381
00:14:25,233 --> 00:14:26,353
You want to get some coffee?

382
00:14:32,967 --> 00:14:34,300
No way out.

383
00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:37,267
It was shocking,
outrageous, insulting

384
00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:39,100
and I loved every minute of it.

385
00:14:39,133 --> 00:14:40,467
No way out.

386
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:41,400
Hey!

387
00:14:41,433 --> 00:14:43,300
How are you? How are you?

388
00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:44,200
Hey.

389
00:14:44,233 --> 00:14:46,333
I am thoroughly impressed.

390
00:14:46,367 --> 00:14:47,267
Well, oh, come on.

391
00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:50,133
Yes, surprisingly good.

392
00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:51,533
Still on the book, uh, have you,

393
00:14:51,567 --> 00:14:53,133
you don't have it
under your belt yet?

394
00:14:53,167 --> 00:14:55,367
Funny you should mention that.

395
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,333
Why is, is, I mean...

396
00:14:57,367 --> 00:14:59,567
We open, dude, we open
in three and a half weeks.

397
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,167
Yeah, I know.

398
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,943
I mean, every time you work, he
always has the script, always?

399
00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:04,300
Yes, every time.

400
00:15:04,333 --> 00:15:05,133
You know... Always?

401
00:15:05,167 --> 00:15:06,333
I'll be fine.

402
00:15:06,367 --> 00:15:07,676
You know, I have a little
problem memorizing stuff.

403
00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:08,833
I'll be alright.

404
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,376
Did you guys get
your test results back,

405
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,267
the insurance company's
been bugging me.

406
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:13,376
Yes, yes, yeah,
yeah, I got mine?

407
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,633
Here, here, here.

408
00:15:14,667 --> 00:15:17,567
Clean bill of health,
flying colors I might add.

409
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,433
Oh, results, I'm proud of you.

410
00:15:19,467 --> 00:15:21,633
And your, where's your
little, uh, paper?

411
00:15:21,667 --> 00:15:25,233
Uh, I had a little
bit of, um... problem.

412
00:15:25,267 --> 00:15:26,300
What the hell is that?

413
00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:28,167
What is that?

414
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,167
Yeah, I didn't...

415
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,667
What is that?

416
00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:32,967
It's, uh, called a heart halter.

417
00:15:33,067 --> 00:15:33,767
Heart halter?

418
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,367
I'm fine, I'm fine.

419
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,376
Uh, I just didn't pass
the physical, that's all, but...

420
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:38,300
What? I didn't pass the...

421
00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:39,133
What are you talking about?

422
00:15:39,167 --> 00:15:40,209
There's nothing wrong with me.

423
00:15:40,233 --> 00:15:41,767
I mean, are you
too old for this?

424
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:42,900
Is that what he said?

425
00:15:42,933 --> 00:15:44,833
No, no, no, I'm not
too old for it, believe me.

426
00:15:44,867 --> 00:15:45,833
It was a fluke.

427
00:15:45,867 --> 00:15:47,833
I'm fine, there's
nothing wrong with me.

428
00:15:47,867 --> 00:15:49,176
Seriously, seriously
after three, like,

429
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:50,167
shuffle ball chains he's winded.

430
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,400
Hey, you want to race me?

431
00:15:51,433 --> 00:15:52,743
You want to go out, you want
to go to the parking lot?

432
00:15:52,767 --> 00:15:54,600
I'll go right now. Really?

433
00:15:54,633 --> 00:15:55,233
Hey, fellas...

434
00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:56,633
Put your sneakers on.

435
00:15:56,667 --> 00:15:58,143
I don't need, I don't
even sneakers, I'll go...

436
00:15:58,167 --> 00:16:00,066
Let's stop, let's stop
being juvenile, you can't...

437
00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:01,333
I'm not being...

438
00:16:01,367 --> 00:16:03,433
Let's not race him,
now look, folks...

439
00:16:03,467 --> 00:16:04,533
Uh, excuse me, I'm sorry.

440
00:16:04,567 --> 00:16:05,667
Hey, dad, hey.

441
00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:06,943
You don't think
I could beat him in a race?

442
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,600
I don't think you can
beat him in a race.

443
00:16:08,633 --> 00:16:10,067
Oh, can I tell you
what happened?

444
00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:12,233
I'm on the treadmill taking
the stress test, okay...

445
00:16:12,267 --> 00:16:12,967
I got the pictures from Spain.

446
00:16:13,067 --> 00:16:14,333
Oh, from Spain.

447
00:16:14,367 --> 00:16:15,509
Yeah, I thought
you might like that.

448
00:16:15,533 --> 00:16:17,400
Oh, that's excellent, whoa...

449
00:16:17,433 --> 00:16:20,500
If she comes in that room again,
tomorrow when I take the test,

450
00:16:20,533 --> 00:16:22,276
I'll be looking at the ceiling,
I can tell you that.

451
00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:23,467
Okay, that's great.

452
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:25,467
Alright, I think you're
gonna be fine, I mean...

453
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:26,843
There's nothing wrong
with me, I'm fine.

454
00:16:26,867 --> 00:16:27,876
Okay, good. Completely fine.

455
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:28,933
Did I just spit on you?

456
00:16:28,967 --> 00:16:29,867
No, no, no.

457
00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:30,943
Okay, 'cause you went like that.

458
00:16:30,967 --> 00:16:32,300
No, no, I just,
I always do that.

459
00:16:32,333 --> 00:16:33,543
When I sweat I...
I noticed that,

460
00:16:33,567 --> 00:16:35,500
'cause you're always
rubbing your face I noticed.

461
00:16:35,533 --> 00:16:37,867
Victor mcglaglin
and Adolf mondieu,

462
00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:40,933
gypo, gypo Nolan, you
remember from the informer?

463
00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:43,867
Gypo, gypo Nolan,
I do, I love...

464
00:16:43,900 --> 00:16:45,467
Gypo Nolan.

465
00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:48,066
Excuse me, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, Mr. Brooks,

466
00:16:48,067 --> 00:16:49,300
can I introduce you to my dad?

467
00:16:49,333 --> 00:16:50,476
My dad's a huge fan,
this is Irving.

468
00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:52,833
Oh, it's an absolute
privilege to meet you.

469
00:16:52,867 --> 00:16:53,800
Irving schwimmer,
pleasure to meet you.

470
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:55,533
Yes, pleasure meeting you.

471
00:16:55,567 --> 00:16:57,567
I'm looking forward
to seeing your show.

472
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,876
I've been a fan
of yours for years.

473
00:16:58,900 --> 00:16:59,767
Forever.

474
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,040
Well, I really appreciate that.

475
00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:02,609
Would you guys excuse me
for just one minute?

476
00:17:02,633 --> 00:17:04,367
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

477
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:05,767
Isn't that awesome?

478
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:06,843
You finally got to meet him.

479
00:17:06,867 --> 00:17:08,600
Yes, I finally did.

480
00:17:08,633 --> 00:17:10,500
So you like those pictures, huh?

481
00:17:10,533 --> 00:17:12,600
Yeah, um... Good, good, and...

482
00:17:12,633 --> 00:17:14,067
Dad, this is Larry.

483
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,533
Hi, how you doing?

484
00:17:16,567 --> 00:17:17,433
Nice to meet you.

485
00:17:17,467 --> 00:17:18,733
Right. So these are great.

486
00:17:18,767 --> 00:17:19,900
My parents went to Spain.

487
00:17:19,933 --> 00:17:21,100
Oh!

488
00:17:21,133 --> 00:17:22,967
Well, I'd better
be taking off, okay?

489
00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:24,067
Are those genitals?

490
00:17:24,068 --> 00:17:25,333
What is that on that bull?

491
00:17:25,367 --> 00:17:26,767
No, that's...

492
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,833
Oh my god.

493
00:17:28,867 --> 00:17:30,167
Alright, dad.

494
00:17:34,067 --> 00:17:36,667
You told him about the whole
cashew raisin thing, right?

495
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:39,066
You know, we're talking,
you didn't have to go back

496
00:17:39,067 --> 00:17:40,167
and tell him, Larry...

497
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:41,300
What, are you kidding?

498
00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:43,076
I know you said something,
he was so unfriendly.

499
00:17:43,100 --> 00:17:44,400
Well, of course
I said something.

500
00:17:44,433 --> 00:17:46,667
It was your suggestion,
Mr. constructive criticism.

501
00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:48,600
Hey, he's putting
four cashews in a bag.

502
00:17:48,633 --> 00:17:49,743
He deserves some
constructive criticism.

503
00:17:49,767 --> 00:17:51,333
Go on about it.

504
00:17:51,367 --> 00:17:53,267
I want to call him, seriously.

505
00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:54,567
I don't think so.

506
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,076
I'd just like to call him
and apologize.

507
00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:58,200
I don't feel comfortable
with you calling my dad.

508
00:17:58,233 --> 00:18:00,066
David, I'm going to apologize,

509
00:18:00,067 --> 00:18:02,500
I'm gonna be very nice,
believe me.

510
00:18:02,533 --> 00:18:03,400
I promise.

511
00:18:03,433 --> 00:18:04,367
Okay. Okay?

512
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,066
Just call before seven.

513
00:18:06,067 --> 00:18:07,400
Alright, what's his number?

514
00:18:07,433 --> 00:18:09,300
310-858...

515
00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:22,433
( Dialing number )

516
00:18:22,467 --> 00:18:25,967
( Phone ringing )

517
00:18:26,067 --> 00:18:28,800
This is Irving schwimmer, please
leave a message at the tone.

518
00:18:28,833 --> 00:18:30,367
( Beep )

519
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,333
Oh, hi, Mr. schwimmer.

520
00:18:32,367 --> 00:18:35,567
Uh, this is Larry David,
I just want to say,

521
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,333
you fucking asshole!

522
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:40,066
What's your fucking
problem, you prick?

523
00:18:40,067 --> 00:18:41,600
Jesus!

524
00:18:41,633 --> 00:18:44,167
What the hell
is wrong with you?!

525
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,943
Who the fuck do you think
you're talking to?

526
00:18:45,967 --> 00:18:46,700
What are you doing here?

527
00:18:46,733 --> 00:18:48,100
You bumped into my car.

528
00:18:48,133 --> 00:18:49,467
You think I hit your car?

529
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:51,043
Ow I'm gonna fucking hit you
right in the fucking head.

530
00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:52,267
Ah, oh! Hey.

531
00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:54,067
Oh my heart, oh, oh...

532
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,833
What are you doing,
what is this?

533
00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:57,500
Is it your heart?

534
00:18:57,533 --> 00:18:58,776
Alright, alright,
just calm down.

535
00:18:58,800 --> 00:18:59,900
Don't take them off.

536
00:19:00,067 --> 00:19:01,843
Leave them on, you shouldn't
have took them off.

537
00:19:01,867 --> 00:19:03,767
Alright, uh, oh, Christ.

538
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:06,100
I don't know c.P.R.

539
00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:07,476
Hey, hey, somebody
call an ambulance.

540
00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:10,067
Call an ambulance, call 911!

541
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:11,400
Send 'em to the park, come on.

542
00:19:11,433 --> 00:19:12,567
Oh!

543
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,100
Hang, hang in there,
can you breathe?

544
00:19:14,133 --> 00:19:16,067
Can you, keep, keep,
keep breathing, alright.

545
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:18,066
Whatever you do,
don't stop breathing.

546
00:19:18,067 --> 00:19:19,700
Just keep doing that.

547
00:19:19,733 --> 00:19:21,733
You got a phone?

548
00:19:21,767 --> 00:19:23,633
Seriously, the guy was...

549
00:19:23,667 --> 00:19:26,367
The guy was coming after me
with a tire iron.

550
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:27,667
I faked the whole thing.

551
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,567
Do you understand
what I'm saying?

552
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:30,533
This is ridiculous.

553
00:19:30,567 --> 00:19:31,467
There's nothing wrong with me.

554
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:33,367
This is just so unnecessary.

555
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,333
Seriously.

556
00:19:35,367 --> 00:19:38,533
( Sirens )

557
00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:00,000
I've dated both black men,

558
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:02,733
white men and there really
isn't a difference.

559
00:20:02,767 --> 00:20:04,967
It's, it's really
just kind of a myth.

560
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:05,933
That's a myth?

561
00:20:05,967 --> 00:20:07,667
Boy, too bad for the black guys.

562
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:08,700
I know, I know.

563
00:20:08,733 --> 00:20:10,009
You know, I speak
from both sides,

564
00:20:10,033 --> 00:20:11,700
'cause I'm half black
and half white, I...

565
00:20:11,733 --> 00:20:13,000
Yeah. Get out of town.

566
00:20:13,033 --> 00:20:15,033
I just bought
a mulatto doll today.

567
00:20:15,067 --> 00:20:19,533
Okay, um, we don't really
use mulatto anymore as a...

568
00:20:19,567 --> 00:20:22,767
I was wondering about that,
if that was a bad one.

569
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,400
Yeah, it's a bit outdated.

570
00:20:24,433 --> 00:20:25,500
Okay.

571
00:20:25,533 --> 00:20:26,943
But if we all keep
fucking each other,

572
00:20:26,967 --> 00:20:28,543
then we're gonna be the same
race sooner or later, anyways.

573
00:20:28,567 --> 00:20:29,667
I do. Let's pray for that.

574
00:20:29,700 --> 00:20:31,333
Hello. Are you okay?

575
00:20:31,367 --> 00:20:32,933
Hi. Hey, this is masasa.

576
00:20:32,967 --> 00:20:35,133
Hi, I'm Cheryl,
nice to meet you.

577
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:37,933
Do you think,
do you think that, uh,

578
00:20:37,967 --> 00:20:40,800
a bi-racial person
would need sun block?

579
00:20:40,833 --> 00:20:41,976
I don't, uh...
Would you think that?

580
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,333
I have not thought about it.

581
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:45,376
I guess you had to be there,
we were having a conversation.

582
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:46,433
Are you alright?

583
00:20:46,467 --> 00:20:48,700
Okay, Mrs. David,
it was lovely meeting you.

584
00:20:48,733 --> 00:20:50,833
And good luck to you
and, and your...

585
00:20:50,867 --> 00:20:51,733
Thank you.

586
00:20:51,767 --> 00:20:53,633
Oh my god, what happened?

587
00:20:53,667 --> 00:20:56,200
Oh, I'm... I'm perfectly fine.

588
00:20:56,233 --> 00:20:57,000
Are you?

589
00:20:57,033 --> 00:20:58,567
Absolutely, perfectly fine.

590
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,867
It was a road rage incident,
and a guy came out of his car

591
00:21:01,900 --> 00:21:03,800
with a tire iron,
he was gonna kill me.

592
00:21:03,833 --> 00:21:05,667
So, you know,
I had the heart halter

593
00:21:05,700 --> 00:21:07,343
and I faked like I was
having a heart attack.

594
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:08,167
I pulled the wires out and...

595
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,700
You did what?

596
00:21:09,733 --> 00:21:11,567
I faked like I was
having a heart attack

597
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,533
so he wouldn't kill me.

598
00:21:14,567 --> 00:21:16,367
So there's nothing
wrong with you?

599
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,533
No, I'm fine.

600
00:21:18,567 --> 00:21:22,167
Then why am I here?

601
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:25,400
Why are you in a
hospital bed right now?

602
00:21:25,433 --> 00:21:27,200
What are you...
What are you talking about?

603
00:21:27,233 --> 00:21:30,133
They took me to the hospital
because of the heart attack.

604
00:21:30,167 --> 00:21:32,133
So you're taking up
a hospital bed

605
00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:35,733
because you're afraid of
some weird guy in traffic?

606
00:21:35,767 --> 00:21:37,143
He had a tire iron,
he was gonna kill me.

607
00:21:37,167 --> 00:21:39,233
You're in the hospital,
if you're calling me

608
00:21:39,267 --> 00:21:40,643
to rush over to help you
I would think that

609
00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:42,066
there was something
wrong with you.

610
00:21:42,067 --> 00:21:44,733
Oh, so you'd rather come in here
and see me with broken limbs?

611
00:21:44,767 --> 00:21:46,100
Well, I'd rather
not come in here

612
00:21:46,133 --> 00:21:48,533
and see you chatting
it up with the nurse.

613
00:21:48,567 --> 00:21:49,809
I'm not allowed
to talk to a nurse?

614
00:21:49,833 --> 00:21:51,767
Well, you're having
a good time in the hospital.

615
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,909
I don't understand, you just
wanted someone to kill me?

616
00:21:53,933 --> 00:21:56,533
Is that what you wanted,
you would prefer that?

617
00:21:56,567 --> 00:21:59,733
By the way, what did
you say to the surrogate?

618
00:21:59,767 --> 00:22:02,567
She's gone into labor,
she's here at the hospital,

619
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,667
and she's not gonna
give the baby up.

620
00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,400
What did you tell her?

621
00:22:07,433 --> 00:22:08,900
She said she had
a talk with you.

622
00:22:08,933 --> 00:22:10,100
I didn't say anything.

623
00:22:10,133 --> 00:22:11,309
Well, you must have
said something

624
00:22:11,333 --> 00:22:13,500
because Bernie doosenbury
is looking for you

625
00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:16,067
'cause he wants
to kick your ass.

626
00:22:16,100 --> 00:22:18,067
That's a quote? That's a quote.

627
00:22:19,500 --> 00:22:21,233
Those bastards.

628
00:22:21,267 --> 00:22:22,443
The fourth time I've been here,

629
00:22:22,467 --> 00:22:24,367
and I still can't get
this colostomy bag to fit.

630
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,066
It doesn't fit.

631
00:22:26,067 --> 00:22:28,233
And the insurance company
won't pay for it.

632
00:22:28,267 --> 00:22:30,233
It's full all the time.

633
00:22:30,267 --> 00:22:33,100
I don't understand why they
just don't take care of it.

634
00:22:34,933 --> 00:22:36,300
What are you doing?

635
00:22:36,333 --> 00:22:37,600
You can't keep that baby.

636
00:22:37,633 --> 00:22:39,667
I was talking about a script.

637
00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:42,600
I want that panda back!

638
00:22:42,633 --> 00:22:45,967
So, you know, I spoke
to this, uh, this nurse.

639
00:22:46,067 --> 00:22:47,633
She's bi-racial.

640
00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:49,066
Bi, what do you mean bi-racial?

641
00:22:49,067 --> 00:22:49,967
She's half black,
half white, mulatto.

642
00:22:50,067 --> 00:22:51,667
Bisexual...

643
00:22:51,700 --> 00:22:52,743
Mulatto, they say, they don't
say mulatto anymore.

644
00:22:52,767 --> 00:22:54,233
She got mad at me.

645
00:22:54,267 --> 00:22:57,100
But anyway, she said she's been
with black men and white men,

646
00:22:57,133 --> 00:22:58,376
and she said there's
no difference, so.

647
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,066
Yeah. Really?

648
00:23:01,067 --> 00:23:02,300
That's fantastic. Uh-huh.

649
00:23:02,333 --> 00:23:04,066
Look at that. Yeah.

650
00:23:04,067 --> 00:23:04,733
Look at that.

651
00:23:04,767 --> 00:23:05,700
How fantastic is that?

652
00:23:05,733 --> 00:23:07,533
Isn't that good news?

653
00:23:07,567 --> 00:23:10,066
Wow, well I'm really,
this is great news, by the way.

654
00:23:10,067 --> 00:23:11,509
I'm gonna see Renee,
too, this afternoon.

655
00:23:11,533 --> 00:23:13,733
Oh, really? I got my
physical again, yeah.

656
00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:15,066
Wow, cool.

657
00:23:15,067 --> 00:23:16,176
Oh, did I tell you that
Bernie doosenbury's

658
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,067
gonna kick my ass,
did I mention that?

659
00:23:18,100 --> 00:23:18,967
You mean that big guy?

660
00:23:19,067 --> 00:23:20,433
Yeah, the big guy.

661
00:23:20,467 --> 00:23:24,600
Wait, wait, wait,
let me ask you something.

662
00:23:24,633 --> 00:23:26,300
Hol.

663
00:23:26,333 --> 00:23:27,267
Yes. Muggsy bogues?

664
00:23:27,300 --> 00:23:29,600
Alright, hey, how you doing?

665
00:23:29,633 --> 00:23:31,066
I'm not gonna shake your hand,
I'm in a bathroom.

666
00:23:31,067 --> 00:23:32,067
I appreciate that.

667
00:23:32,100 --> 00:23:33,709
This man has bathroom
etiquette, alright?

668
00:23:33,733 --> 00:23:35,709
I haven't touched anything yet,
I just want you to know.

669
00:23:35,733 --> 00:23:36,900
Okay, I appreciate it.

670
00:23:36,933 --> 00:23:38,109
I'm a huge fan, man, huge fan.

671
00:23:38,133 --> 00:23:39,167
Thank you.

672
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:40,443
One of the great
guards of all time.

673
00:23:40,467 --> 00:23:42,367
Absolutely, we really
enjoyed watching you play.

674
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:43,067
Thank you, thanks a lot, guys.

675
00:23:43,100 --> 00:23:44,600
Nice to meet you, man.

676
00:23:44,633 --> 00:23:45,933
Same here. Pleasure to meet you.

677
00:23:45,967 --> 00:23:46,867
Go ahead, do your thing.

678
00:23:46,900 --> 00:23:47,933
Okay, alright, yeah.

679
00:24:00,533 --> 00:24:02,833
What the fuck?

680
00:24:02,867 --> 00:24:04,500
Are you looking at my dick?

681
00:24:04,533 --> 00:24:06,043
You looking at me?
No, I wasn't looking.

682
00:24:06,067 --> 00:24:09,933
Crazy? Oh, oh, oh, oh.

683
00:24:12,133 --> 00:24:13,400
You okay?

684
00:24:13,433 --> 00:24:14,800
Are you alright?

685
00:24:18,067 --> 00:24:22,400
* will be king,
and be on top to stay *

686
00:24:22,433 --> 00:24:24,133
* on top to stay, hey

687
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,133
( car alarm beeping )

688
00:24:31,167 --> 00:24:34,733
Think I'm gonna steal your car?

689
00:24:34,767 --> 00:24:37,633
No, no, it's just, I forgot to,

690
00:24:37,667 --> 00:24:41,200
I forgot to just
put the alarm on.

691
00:24:41,233 --> 00:24:42,133
It's not you,
it's no race thing.

692
00:24:42,167 --> 00:24:44,867
No, no race thing.

693
00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:45,900
Asshole.

694
00:24:45,933 --> 00:24:47,176
No, I don't even
need the alarm on.

695
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:48,200
Look, here I'll turn it,

696
00:24:48,233 --> 00:24:50,533
it's off, I turned
the alarm off, look.

697
00:24:54,533 --> 00:24:57,367
Did it again, huh?

698
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,733
So what, the black man
in a suit parks cars,

699
00:25:00,767 --> 00:25:02,500
black man, no suit,
he gonna steal your car.

700
00:25:02,533 --> 00:25:03,767
What is it?

701
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,909
I can't do anything in this city
without you watching me,

702
00:25:05,933 --> 00:25:06,867
following me?

703
00:25:06,900 --> 00:25:08,800
I told you I'm shooting
here all week.

704
00:25:08,833 --> 00:25:11,500
He just happened to be there
when I turned around to,

705
00:25:11,533 --> 00:25:13,367
to put the alarm on,
that's not my fault.

706
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,543
You saw the black man, you was
like, "let me lock my car."

707
00:25:15,567 --> 00:25:16,667
You put the alarm on.

708
00:25:16,700 --> 00:25:18,667
The black man made you go,
"let me lock the car."

709
00:25:18,700 --> 00:25:21,233
No, I just had, I just hadn't
done it yet, that's all.

710
00:25:21,267 --> 00:25:24,267
And do you think a black man
would want that piece of shit?

711
00:25:24,300 --> 00:25:25,100
Piece of shit, how dare you?!

712
00:25:25,133 --> 00:25:26,733
Yeah, that's a little toy car,

713
00:25:26,767 --> 00:25:28,066
no black man
don't want a toy car.

714
00:25:28,067 --> 00:25:30,500
Black man want a car
with some get up and go.

715
00:25:30,533 --> 00:25:33,267
I didn't think the black man
wanted the car.

716
00:25:33,300 --> 00:25:36,633
So look, did, um...
You hear back from Martin,

717
00:25:36,667 --> 00:25:38,076
from Martin schaffer
about my script?

718
00:25:38,100 --> 00:25:38,933
Yeah.

719
00:25:38,967 --> 00:25:41,867
And?

720
00:25:41,900 --> 00:25:45,933
Sorry to say, didn't like it.

721
00:25:45,967 --> 00:25:46,867
It happens.

722
00:25:46,900 --> 00:25:49,833
Well, did you tell him
I was black?

723
00:25:49,867 --> 00:25:50,767
No.

724
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,567
Why didn't you
tell him I was black?

725
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,433
Oh, I don't know, why should I?

726
00:25:54,467 --> 00:25:58,367
It makes a big, Larry, you don't
know when to play the card.

727
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,067
I mean, you know, white guys,
they love that shit.

728
00:26:01,100 --> 00:26:03,066
You know, "oh,
look at me, I'm liberal."

729
00:26:03,067 --> 00:26:05,433
Helping the black person."

730
00:26:05,467 --> 00:26:06,867
You should know better.

731
00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:09,066
That's when you tell
somebody they're black.

732
00:26:09,067 --> 00:26:11,066
Alright, alright, I'll tell him
you're black, okay?

733
00:26:11,067 --> 00:26:12,067
Fine.

734
00:26:12,100 --> 00:26:13,709
Tell him I'm, like,
a brown-skinned black.

735
00:26:13,733 --> 00:26:15,167
Not light skinned.

736
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,066
Make sure he know
I'm, like, real black.

737
00:26:17,067 --> 00:26:19,100
I hope I don't
see you for a while.

738
00:26:19,133 --> 00:26:21,167
Getting sick of you.

739
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,667
Take your sick ass
in the hospital.

740
00:26:36,900 --> 00:26:38,400
Mr. David.

741
00:26:38,433 --> 00:26:40,633
( Phone ringing )

742
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:53,900
Can I say that, uh, this is
fantastic, the magazines.

743
00:26:53,933 --> 00:26:56,733
What an improvement,
unbelievable.

744
00:26:56,767 --> 00:26:57,809
I got to tell you something,

745
00:26:57,833 --> 00:26:58,900
it's one of the few times

746
00:26:58,933 --> 00:27:01,133
in my life anyone's
ever taken my advice.

747
00:27:01,167 --> 00:27:02,233
It's a pleasure.

748
00:27:02,267 --> 00:27:05,233
Well, the doctor's
waiting to see you.

749
00:27:05,267 --> 00:27:06,267
Okay.

750
00:27:10,667 --> 00:27:12,066
You know what I say to you now?

751
00:27:12,067 --> 00:27:12,633
What do you say to me, Larry?

752
00:27:12,667 --> 00:27:13,967
Keep me waiting.

753
00:27:14,067 --> 00:27:14,967
Can I tell you something?

754
00:27:15,067 --> 00:27:16,200
Tell me everything.

755
00:27:16,233 --> 00:27:17,809
It was the best waiting room
experience I've ever had.

756
00:27:17,833 --> 00:27:18,900
Glad you're happy.

757
00:27:18,933 --> 00:27:20,267
I'm very happy.

758
00:27:20,300 --> 00:27:22,733
Good for you, I'm seeing
right here that you're happy.

759
00:27:22,767 --> 00:27:24,633
Nice job, and did you
notice I got golf?

760
00:27:24,667 --> 00:27:26,933
I saw the golf,
I picked up a nice tip.

761
00:27:26,967 --> 00:27:29,233
I got your golf.

762
00:27:32,467 --> 00:27:33,467
Hey, Larry.

763
00:27:33,500 --> 00:27:35,200
Hey.

764
00:27:40,067 --> 00:27:42,500
Oh, Bernie doosenbury called.

765
00:27:42,533 --> 00:27:44,233
I was able to reschedule
his appointment,

766
00:27:44,267 --> 00:27:45,133
he'll be here in 10 minutes.

767
00:27:45,167 --> 00:27:46,533
Oh, very good, thanks.

768
00:27:46,567 --> 00:27:48,500
Bye, Larry...

769
00:27:48,533 --> 00:27:53,633
( Beeping increasing )

770
00:27:53,667 --> 00:27:59,267
And the dispenser was destroyed
virtually beyond recognition.

771
00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:00,667
Poor kid.

772
00:28:00,700 --> 00:28:02,543
So as he's telling the story,
he starts crying...

773
00:28:02,567 --> 00:28:06,500
Oh, did I tell you that the,
uh, surrogate changed her mind.

774
00:28:06,533 --> 00:28:08,209
She's gonna give the baby
to the doosenbury's after all.

775
00:28:08,233 --> 00:28:09,567
Yeah. Really?

776
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:11,633
Hey, that's great. Yeah.

777
00:28:11,667 --> 00:28:13,300
Oh, you know what? Huh?

778
00:28:13,333 --> 00:28:14,767
I got some good news, too.

779
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:15,600
You do?

780
00:28:15,633 --> 00:28:17,467
Penis is healed.

781
00:28:17,500 --> 00:28:18,867
Oh.

782
00:28:18,900 --> 00:28:21,066
As soon as I get rid
of this heart halter,

783
00:28:21,067 --> 00:28:23,067
I'm back in business, baby.

784
00:28:25,167 --> 00:28:27,567
I can't do those things.

785
00:28:32,067 --> 00:28:33,800
( Phone ringing )

786
00:28:33,833 --> 00:28:35,233
It's Marilyn. Marilyn.

787
00:28:35,267 --> 00:28:36,233
Don't pick it up. Yeah, yeah.

788
00:28:36,267 --> 00:28:38,233
I'm not talking to her tonight.

789
00:28:40,900 --> 00:28:43,733
Goodnight.

790
00:28:43,767 --> 00:28:45,776
( Larry on machine ) hi, please
leave your name and number

791
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:48,067
and someone will get
back to you, thank you.

792
00:28:48,100 --> 00:28:50,433
( Beep )

793
00:28:50,467 --> 00:28:52,167
This is Irv schwimmer.

794
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:55,867
You motherfucking cocksucking
sonofabitch bastard.

795
00:28:55,900 --> 00:28:57,800
Who the fuck do you
think you are?!

796
00:28:57,833 --> 00:28:59,133
You bald sonofa...

797
00:28:59,167 --> 00:29:02,167
Captions copyright 2004
home box office, inc.

798
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:06,600
Captioned by
hbo communications center