1
00:00:00,333 --> 00:00:02,293
♪ Born on the wrong end
Of the leash ♪

2
00:00:02,375 --> 00:00:04,325
-♪ He was a dreamer ♪
-♪ And a little schemer ♪

3
00:00:04,375 --> 00:00:05,705
♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪

4
00:00:05,792 --> 00:00:07,422
♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪

5
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:08,500
♪ He'd start to drool ♪

6
00:00:08,583 --> 00:00:09,883
-♪ One day he says ♪
-♪ I'll take a chance ♪

7
00:00:09,959 --> 00:00:11,789
♪ Trades his leash
For a pair of pants ♪

8
00:00:11,875 --> 00:00:14,205
♪ In a glance, school becomes
His favorite pastime ♪

9
00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,631
♪ I have buried a bone
For the last time ♪

10
00:00:16,709 --> 00:00:18,039
-♪ He says ♪
-♪ I want to be a boy ♪

11
00:00:18,125 --> 00:00:19,875
♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪

12
00:00:19,959 --> 00:00:21,249
♪ He's so over just being rover ♪

13
00:00:21,333 --> 00:00:22,583
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪

14
00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:25,247
♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪

15
00:00:25,333 --> 00:00:26,673
♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪

16
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,420
♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪

17
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:31,000
Why can't I be a normal kid
like any other?

18
00:00:31,083 --> 00:00:33,083
Now, doodle bug, listen to mother.

19
00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:35,126
♪ I want to be a boy ♪

20
00:00:35,208 --> 00:00:36,788
I hate dogs.

21
00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:39,745
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪

22
00:00:39,834 --> 00:00:41,504
♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪

23
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,503
I do not wish to be a dog.

24
00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:46,083
♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪

25
00:00:46,166 --> 00:00:47,536
♪ I got to be a boy ♪

26
00:00:47,625 --> 00:00:49,075
♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪

27
00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:52,206
♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪

28
00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:54,131
Yes!

29
00:00:56,208 --> 00:00:58,998
[motorcycle revving]

30
00:01:11,417 --> 00:01:12,917
♪ There was an author
Who wrote some books ♪

31
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,170
♪ And Dickens
Was his name, oh ♪

32
00:01:15,250 --> 00:01:17,290
♪ I-C-K-E-N-S ♪

33
00:01:17,375 --> 00:01:18,455
♪ I-C-K-E-N-S ♪

34
00:01:18,542 --> 00:01:20,172
♪ I-C-K-E-N-S ♪

35
00:01:20,250 --> 00:01:23,000
♪ And Dickens
Was his name, oh ♪

36
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,253
Great. We've reduced
one of the greatest writers

37
00:01:25,333 --> 00:01:27,633
in the history of the English language

38
00:01:27,709 --> 00:01:29,459
to a clap-along song.

39
00:01:29,542 --> 00:01:31,422
Could you keep it down?

40
00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:35,040
Some of us are trying to digest
"David Copperfield" here.

41
00:01:35,125 --> 00:01:36,245
The magician?

42
00:01:36,333 --> 00:01:37,583
The novel!

43
00:01:37,667 --> 00:01:39,077
[bus hits bumps]

44
00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:42,076
By Charles Dickens, the great writer,

45
00:01:42,166 --> 00:01:48,206
about whom we learned today
at the Charles Dickens Museum!

46
00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:53,080
Oh, incredible. Not a one of you
picked up anything

47
00:01:53,166 --> 00:01:55,206
from our field trip today.

48
00:01:55,291 --> 00:01:57,041
I picked up some tasty gruel-flavored

49
00:01:57,125 --> 00:01:59,665
Oliver twist-y bread
at the food court.

50
00:01:59,750 --> 00:02:02,880
[all] Ew!

51
00:02:02,959 --> 00:02:03,829
[retches]

52
00:02:03,917 --> 00:02:06,917
Literature haters.

53
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,500
There. Happy now?

54
00:02:11,125 --> 00:02:12,325
[gasps]

55
00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:18,080
Scott? Scott, what are you doing?

56
00:02:18,083 --> 00:02:19,673
[horns honking]

57
00:02:19,750 --> 00:02:22,290
[howling]

58
00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,285
Hey, you with the nose,

59
00:02:24,375 --> 00:02:27,245
sit your can down and buckle up.

60
00:02:27,333 --> 00:02:29,253
You want to bang your noggin

61
00:02:29,333 --> 00:02:31,883
and end up driving the bus
the rest of your life?

62
00:02:31,959 --> 00:02:33,499
Scott? Scott, dear!

63
00:02:37,166 --> 00:02:39,036
Scott!

64
00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:40,955
What's gotten into you, for gosh sake?

65
00:02:41,041 --> 00:02:43,171
Oh, yes, I know. I'm sorry.

66
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,290
Out of my way!

67
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,789
Scott, chill!

68
00:02:50,291 --> 00:02:52,831
[sighs] I needed that.

69
00:02:52,917 --> 00:02:55,167
Well, I'll tell you something else

70
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:57,420
it seems you need, Mr. Leadready --

71
00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:58,830
a little discipline.

72
00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:03,167
[children] Ooh, you're bad!

73
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:08,330
Ooh, you're in trouble!

74
00:03:08,417 --> 00:03:13,327
Scott, a write-up goes
on your permanent record.

75
00:03:13,417 --> 00:03:16,577
It marks you for the rest of your life.

76
00:03:16,667 --> 00:03:19,667
It gets seen by everyone --
fifth grade, sixth grade,

77
00:03:19,750 --> 00:03:21,250
middle school, high school,

78
00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:24,833
and every college in the world!

79
00:03:24,917 --> 00:03:28,037
[screaming]

80
00:03:31,333 --> 00:03:32,673
Scott!

81
00:03:32,750 --> 00:03:34,250
Scott, take it easy.

82
00:03:34,333 --> 00:03:35,833
You heard them.

83
00:03:35,917 --> 00:03:38,207
My life is over, all because of one

84
00:03:38,291 --> 00:03:43,251
lousy, stupid, glorious, open window.

85
00:03:43,333 --> 00:03:44,583
Not even.

86
00:03:44,667 --> 00:03:46,247
Something as dinky as
sticking your head out once

87
00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:47,923
wouldn't go on your permanent record.

88
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,750
-It wouldn't?
-No.

89
00:03:49,834 --> 00:03:51,714
Then what is your mom

90
00:03:51,792 --> 00:03:54,422
giving Principal Strickler, smarty?

91
00:03:55,709 --> 00:03:56,709
Aah!

92
00:03:56,792 --> 00:03:59,712
[screaming]

93
00:04:06,458 --> 00:04:09,538
So you made a mistake.
Just forget it and move on.

94
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:12,625
Oh, but the powers that be
won't let me move on.

95
00:04:12,709 --> 00:04:15,379
They've forever branded me a bad one.

96
00:04:15,458 --> 00:04:17,418
Why should I go back to school?

97
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:21,040
Like a broken pencil, it's pointless.

98
00:04:21,125 --> 00:04:23,075
[sobs] See?

99
00:04:23,166 --> 00:04:25,706
Even my quips have gone bad.

100
00:04:25,792 --> 00:04:27,632
This isn't the Spot I know.

101
00:04:27,709 --> 00:04:29,629
The Spot I know would fight.

102
00:04:29,709 --> 00:04:30,629
Fight?

103
00:04:30,709 --> 00:04:32,669
Yeah. Go back to school and fight

104
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:35,290
to show them how good you really are.

105
00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:39,075
Okay. If they want to fight,
a fight I will give them.

106
00:04:39,166 --> 00:04:42,326
Did you hear? He's going to fight.

107
00:04:42,417 --> 00:04:45,787
I'll teach those bums
to brand me a bad kid.

108
00:04:45,875 --> 00:04:47,705
I'll go back to that school,

109
00:04:47,792 --> 00:04:49,882
and I'll be their worst nightmare.

110
00:04:49,959 --> 00:04:52,709
Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'll do, see?

111
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:55,962
If it's bad boy they want,
then bad boy they'll get.

112
00:04:56,041 --> 00:04:58,501
[laughs evilly]

113
00:05:03,166 --> 00:05:04,286
[snickers]

114
00:05:04,375 --> 00:05:06,915
What's so funny?

115
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,290
I'm fighting, Len.

116
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:11,075
I'm really giving it to the man.

117
00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:13,536
Look, I used block letters
instead of cursive,

118
00:05:13,625 --> 00:05:16,075
and I inserted a comma

119
00:05:16,166 --> 00:05:17,786
before the last "and" in a series,

120
00:05:17,875 --> 00:05:19,415
which, while technically correct,

121
00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:21,130
is not widely accepted.

122
00:05:21,208 --> 00:05:22,878
Oh, yeah, I'm bad.

123
00:05:22,959 --> 00:05:27,289
♪ Call me a rebel,
I'll think of a cause ♪

124
00:05:27,375 --> 00:05:30,455
♪ I spit on the rules,
I laugh at the laws ♪

125
00:05:30,542 --> 00:05:32,252
♪ Ha, no matter
Who does it ♪

126
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:34,083
♪ I'll take the blame ♪

127
00:05:34,166 --> 00:05:37,416
♪ 'Cause trouble is my middle
And my first and last name ♪

128
00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:39,210
♪ You know I'm bad ♪

129
00:05:39,291 --> 00:05:42,211
♪ I'm bad with a capital "b" ♪

130
00:05:42,291 --> 00:05:44,331
♪ Now, that's me ♪

131
00:05:44,417 --> 00:05:47,327
♪ I'm your number one nightmare ♪

132
00:05:47,333 --> 00:05:50,883
♪ No one does bad
Quite as good as me ♪

133
00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:52,879
♪ Yeah ♪

134
00:05:52,959 --> 00:05:57,129
♪ I'm the nastiest, razzdiest,
Rudest, brutinest dude ♪

135
00:05:57,208 --> 00:05:59,128
♪ You've ever seen ♪

136
00:05:59,208 --> 00:06:02,168
♪ whoo, I put the "me" in "mean" ♪

137
00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:03,750
♪ No one does bad ♪

138
00:06:03,834 --> 00:06:05,754
♪ I'm just bad, b-a-d, bad ♪

139
00:06:05,834 --> 00:06:07,834
♪ Say it with me now ♪

140
00:06:07,917 --> 00:06:08,997
Bad.

141
00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:14,673
♪ No one does bad
Quite as good as me ♪

142
00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:17,330
Bad!

143
00:06:19,583 --> 00:06:21,463
[chuckles nervously]

144
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,920
[boy] That's the bad kid.

145
00:06:28,041 --> 00:06:29,881
[boy #2] Look out for him, man.

146
00:06:29,959 --> 00:06:30,959
He's bad.

147
00:06:35,542 --> 00:06:37,252
[grunts]

148
00:06:37,333 --> 00:06:40,213
Oh, great, the warden is here.

149
00:06:40,291 --> 00:06:42,581
Would you boys and girls like to know

150
00:06:42,667 --> 00:06:45,207
the easiest way
to break a principal's heart?

151
00:06:45,291 --> 00:06:47,581
Mess up, get detention,
and squander your potential,

152
00:06:47,667 --> 00:06:49,877
you little delinquents!

153
00:06:49,959 --> 00:06:52,129
Other schools don't have this problem.

154
00:06:52,208 --> 00:06:53,498
The West East Westland District

155
00:06:53,583 --> 00:06:56,133
hasn't had a single student
in detention this term.

156
00:06:56,208 --> 00:07:00,038
Stay out of detention, children.
Live up to your potential.

157
00:07:00,125 --> 00:07:03,575
Make that West East Westland eat dirt.

158
00:07:03,667 --> 00:07:05,077
[sobs]

159
00:07:05,166 --> 00:07:07,206
Thank you.

160
00:07:07,291 --> 00:07:09,081
Are we going to take that

161
00:07:09,166 --> 00:07:12,286
from that fascist grown-up tyrant?

162
00:07:12,375 --> 00:07:14,455
He seemed sort of nice to me.

163
00:07:14,542 --> 00:07:16,672
Oh, sister.

164
00:07:16,750 --> 00:07:19,290
Don't fall for his bag of words --

165
00:07:19,375 --> 00:07:22,325
not living up to our potential.

166
00:07:22,417 --> 00:07:24,497
Yeah, I had a potential once.

167
00:07:24,583 --> 00:07:27,463
I was going to be the first
poet laureate brain surgeon

168
00:07:27,542 --> 00:07:29,292
to set foot on Mars,

169
00:07:29,375 --> 00:07:31,665
but I stuck my head out one window,

170
00:07:31,750 --> 00:07:33,460
and bam, potential gone.

171
00:07:33,542 --> 00:07:36,082
If he made it disappear any quicker,

172
00:07:36,166 --> 00:07:38,286
he'd be David Copperfield --

173
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,625
not the Dickens character,
the Vegas magician --

174
00:07:40,709 --> 00:07:42,629
puts on a heck of a show.

175
00:07:42,709 --> 00:07:44,329
Hey, what's this?

176
00:07:44,417 --> 00:07:48,207
He was so busy
grinding our futures to dust

177
00:07:48,291 --> 00:07:50,041
under his cruel shoes,

178
00:07:50,125 --> 00:07:53,245
he didn't even realize
he dropped his keys.

179
00:07:53,333 --> 00:07:57,213
Well, his carelessness
will be his Waterloo.

180
00:07:57,291 --> 00:08:02,671
He's about to taste revenge,
Leadready style.

181
00:08:07,834 --> 00:08:10,754
[children] Ooh, you got deten--

182
00:08:10,834 --> 00:08:12,754
Save it. Squares.

183
00:08:12,834 --> 00:08:14,134
Hey, Scott. Hey --

184
00:08:14,208 --> 00:08:15,748
come on, gang.

185
00:08:15,834 --> 00:08:17,924
We got a job to do.

186
00:08:24,125 --> 00:08:27,245
Come on, Scott. Where are you?

187
00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:34,207
Now, where did I put those keys?

188
00:08:34,291 --> 00:08:38,291
Come on, gang. We got a job to do.

189
00:08:38,375 --> 00:08:41,035
Oh, no!

190
00:08:41,125 --> 00:08:42,995
You know, this is fun,

191
00:08:43,083 --> 00:08:44,833
but based on my observations,

192
00:08:44,917 --> 00:08:47,077
I don't think they make sticky string

193
00:08:47,166 --> 00:08:49,456
quite as sticky as they used to.

194
00:08:49,542 --> 00:08:53,332
What? The permanent records.

195
00:08:59,417 --> 00:09:02,417
Well, well, well, would you look at this?

196
00:09:04,333 --> 00:09:06,003
Scott Leadready II

197
00:09:06,083 --> 00:09:08,213
is a smart and well-behaved boy

198
00:09:08,291 --> 00:09:10,001
with no major shortcomings.

199
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,793
He needs to learn
proper field trip behavior,

200
00:09:12,875 --> 00:09:15,745
but in every other aspect,
he is a very good boy.

201
00:09:15,834 --> 00:09:19,174
[gasps] There's nothing bad in my file.

202
00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:21,250
Nothing.

203
00:09:21,333 --> 00:09:24,293
Oh, I am fortune's fool!

204
00:09:24,375 --> 00:09:28,785
I believed the malicious gossip
of misguided school chums

205
00:09:28,875 --> 00:09:31,165
and thought the authorities
were all against me,

206
00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:35,130
but my destiny shouldn't be
shaped by how others see me,

207
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:39,038
but by how I perceive myself.

208
00:09:39,125 --> 00:09:41,955
Must be from "David Copperfield."

209
00:09:42,041 --> 00:09:46,711
No, it's from my heart.
I made a big mistake.

210
00:09:46,792 --> 00:09:49,422
Scott, stop! You're making a big mistake!

211
00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:51,000
I know, I know.

212
00:09:51,083 --> 00:09:53,003
Wow, I'm good.

213
00:09:53,083 --> 00:09:55,923
I'm not a bad 'un, Leonard.
I'm a good 'un.

214
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,960
I've always been a good 'un,

215
00:09:59,041 --> 00:10:00,881
and I always will be a good 'un,

216
00:10:00,959 --> 00:10:03,629
because I have control over my destiny,

217
00:10:03,709 --> 00:10:05,999
and unlike
David Copperfield...

218
00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:08,083
The guy in the book or the magician?

219
00:10:08,166 --> 00:10:11,166
I don't know. I have to hear
the rest of the sentence.

220
00:10:11,250 --> 00:10:13,380
I know full well now and forever

221
00:10:13,458 --> 00:10:15,998
that I am going to be
the hero of my own life.

222
00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:18,043
Book. Yeah, good, Scott,

223
00:10:18,125 --> 00:10:21,285
but first we better get rid
of all the sticky string.

224
00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:25,075
Yes, because that's what
heroes of their own lives do.

225
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,416
They get rid of the sticky string.

226
00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:31,040
They help students who aren't
yet heroes of their own lives

227
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:33,825
cut through the stupid sticky string

228
00:10:33,917 --> 00:10:35,917
of gossip and labels.

229
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:39,330
Okay, but we better get rid
of all this sticky string first.

230
00:10:39,417 --> 00:10:40,957
Strickler's coming!

231
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,211
Aah!

232
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:52,750
My keys -- you had them.

233
00:10:52,834 --> 00:10:54,584
Whoops.

234
00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:56,997
And you brought them back to me,

235
00:10:57,083 --> 00:10:59,503
you good, good boy.

236
00:10:59,583 --> 00:11:01,003
[pants]

237
00:11:01,083 --> 00:11:03,503
Yes, yes,

238
00:11:03,583 --> 00:11:05,833
and straightened up
your office a tad, too.

239
00:11:05,917 --> 00:11:08,127
Oh, I knew I could reform you.

240
00:11:08,208 --> 00:11:10,128
Now get out of here

241
00:11:10,208 --> 00:11:12,288
before I cite you for loitering.

242
00:11:12,375 --> 00:11:13,665
[all] Yes, sir.

243
00:11:13,750 --> 00:11:16,330
There's no such thing
as a bad student,

244
00:11:16,417 --> 00:11:19,917
just ones I haven't reformed yet.

245
00:11:22,250 --> 00:11:23,830
Uhh!

246
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,417
[cat meows]

247
00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:30,578
[dog growlin ]

248
00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:33,457
[barking]

249
00:11:41,083 --> 00:11:45,173
And so I hope that all of you
will consider deep sea diving

250
00:11:45,250 --> 00:11:49,630
as a c-clear --

251
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,289
oh, dear, I seem to be standing

252
00:11:51,375 --> 00:11:53,125
on your air supply. My bad.

253
00:11:53,208 --> 00:11:54,328
Ha ha ha.

254
00:11:54,417 --> 00:11:59,167
[wheezing]
Oh, thank you.

255
00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:01,250
Thank you very much.

256
00:12:01,959 --> 00:12:03,749
Okay, class, now let's continue

257
00:12:03,834 --> 00:12:07,464
with our next super-exciting
career day presentation.

258
00:12:07,542 --> 00:12:12,132
Ha ha. Teddy, um,
would you be kind enough

259
00:12:12,208 --> 00:12:13,378
to stand before the class

260
00:12:13,458 --> 00:12:16,328
and in your best
and biggest announcer voice,

261
00:12:16,417 --> 00:12:18,247
please introduce us to your dad?

262
00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:20,173
Ahem.

263
00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:22,380
Here's my dad.

264
00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:24,628
Howdy do, future of America.

265
00:12:24,709 --> 00:12:28,459
Say, Teddy's dad looks awfully familiar.

266
00:12:28,542 --> 00:12:30,542
All righty, now, Mr. Naven's planned

267
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:33,875
a special little
guessing game with his job.

268
00:12:35,291 --> 00:12:38,581
Well, thank you. Thank you.
What a warm welcome.

269
00:12:38,667 --> 00:12:40,577
Now, few people realize

270
00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:43,627
that my job was first started
in this country

271
00:12:43,709 --> 00:12:45,709
by Benjamin Franklin.

272
00:12:45,792 --> 00:12:47,882
Ooh, ooh, you sell those kites

273
00:12:47,959 --> 00:12:49,879
that get struck by lightning!

274
00:12:49,959 --> 00:12:51,829
I want one of those babies!

275
00:12:51,917 --> 00:12:55,037
Ha ha. Good guess,
strange little boy, but no.

276
00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:58,125
Clue number two -- I help
bring people all over the world

277
00:12:58,208 --> 00:12:59,748
closer together by delivering

278
00:12:59,834 --> 00:13:02,384
thousands of important documents
and packages.

279
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:05,878
I got it! Are you Santa claus?

280
00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:07,959
Oh, they're sniffing it out.

281
00:13:08,041 --> 00:13:11,131
But I'm afraid Santa only
delivers things once a year.

282
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:13,958
I'm responsible for delivering
things six days a week.

283
00:13:14,041 --> 00:13:16,081
Mr. Naven's job sounds cool.

284
00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:18,626
Well, sure, lots of responsibility,

285
00:13:18,709 --> 00:13:20,039
serving the public,

286
00:13:20,125 --> 00:13:22,375
established by one
of the founding fathers --

287
00:13:22,458 --> 00:13:24,748
it's obvious. He's a mailman.

288
00:13:24,834 --> 00:13:28,254
A mailman?

289
00:13:30,041 --> 00:13:32,961
Oh, you got me. I'm a mailman.

290
00:13:33,041 --> 00:13:35,171
[growls]

291
00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:37,880
What few people realize is that --

292
00:13:37,959 --> 00:13:43,039
what few people realize
is that all letter carriers

293
00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:46,785
are evil, scheming thieves.

294
00:13:46,875 --> 00:13:47,955
[children] Huh?

295
00:13:48,041 --> 00:13:50,331
Oh, now, just a darn second there,

296
00:13:50,417 --> 00:13:51,577
beanie-wearing youngster.

297
00:13:51,667 --> 00:13:54,457
Scott Leadready II,
you apologize this instant.

298
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,632
You know we don't allow
that type of nonsense.

299
00:13:57,709 --> 00:14:01,169
Nonsense or common sense? Huh? Huh?

300
00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:03,580
How long are you going
to hide your heads in the sand?

301
00:14:03,667 --> 00:14:06,077
That man may pretend to deliver your mail,

302
00:14:06,166 --> 00:14:08,206
but that's all a ruse.

303
00:14:08,291 --> 00:14:11,461
He's just trying to figure out
how to break into your homes.

304
00:14:11,542 --> 00:14:13,922
[gasps] Now, I know this will hurt me

305
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,130
more than it hurts you,

306
00:14:16,208 --> 00:14:18,578
but you have given me no choice.

307
00:14:18,667 --> 00:14:21,577
Today there will be
no first recess for you.

308
00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:25,127
You'll have to eat
your snack at your desk.

309
00:14:25,208 --> 00:14:26,748
[students gasp]

310
00:14:26,834 --> 00:14:31,134
"Calling our guest speaker
evil is not very nice.

311
00:14:31,208 --> 00:14:35,418
Calling our guest speaker
evil is not very nice."

312
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:39,712
Imagine the humiliation
having to apologize to him.

313
00:14:39,792 --> 00:14:41,582
He should have to apologize to us.

314
00:14:41,667 --> 00:14:43,077
But, Scott, letter carriers

315
00:14:43,166 --> 00:14:45,076
are good, decent, hard-working folks.

316
00:14:45,166 --> 00:14:47,626
Without them, where would people be?

317
00:14:47,709 --> 00:14:49,209
People, right.

318
00:14:49,291 --> 00:14:51,211
Wake up and smell the kibble, Leonard.

319
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:54,421
Letter carriers have been torturing dogs

320
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:56,540
since the beginning of time.

321
00:14:58,166 --> 00:15:01,126
It all started with cavemen,

322
00:15:01,208 --> 00:15:04,248
who wrote their letters on bones.

323
00:15:06,542 --> 00:15:09,042
And when the ancient Greeks
carved their letters

324
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,535
on stone tablets,

325
00:15:10,625 --> 00:15:13,035
it didn't get any better for dogs.

326
00:15:13,125 --> 00:15:14,955
[barking]

327
00:15:15,041 --> 00:15:19,171
Even today those conniving postal demons

328
00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:21,830
will lure dogs outside
in all kinds of weather,

329
00:15:21,917 --> 00:15:27,327
be it rain or hail or wind or snow.

330
00:15:27,417 --> 00:15:29,287
Throughout all of history,

331
00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:31,575
one thing has remained the same.

332
00:15:31,667 --> 00:15:33,127
All letter carriers

333
00:15:33,208 --> 00:15:36,748
are out to make all dogs' lives miserable.

334
00:15:36,834 --> 00:15:38,544
Hey, forgot my partner.

335
00:15:38,625 --> 00:15:41,415
There you are. Ha ha.

336
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:44,250
Sorry about you losing
your recess, big guy,

337
00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:46,173
but no hard feelings, right?

338
00:15:46,250 --> 00:15:48,960
[growling]

339
00:15:49,041 --> 00:15:52,041
[barking]

340
00:15:56,458 --> 00:15:58,128
Well, little déjà vu here.

341
00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:00,328
But, you know, really,
don't worry about it.

342
00:16:00,458 --> 00:16:02,128
These things happen.

343
00:16:02,208 --> 00:16:04,328
That young man's yapping was no worse

344
00:16:04,417 --> 00:16:06,287
than, say, your dog's there.

345
00:16:06,375 --> 00:16:08,665
Scott certainly was acting
exactly like little Spot here.

346
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,670
Exactly.

347
00:16:10,750 --> 00:16:12,920
Say, wouldn't it be fascinating

348
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:17,540
if somehow a dog could transform
himself into a little b--

349
00:16:17,625 --> 00:16:21,285
well, ha ha ha. I am not going
to give away my best ideas

350
00:16:21,417 --> 00:16:23,877
for science fiction
short stories. Ha ha ha.

351
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,040
[laughing]

352
00:16:26,166 --> 00:16:28,166
Oh, and you can rest assured

353
00:16:28,250 --> 00:16:30,170
that I'll have a long stern talk

354
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:32,250
with that Scott Leadready tomorrow.

355
00:16:32,333 --> 00:16:34,883
I won't allow prejudicial
behavior in my class ever.

356
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,540
Did you hear what my mom just said?

357
00:16:37,625 --> 00:16:39,035
Your prejudice against mailmen

358
00:16:39,125 --> 00:16:41,705
is going to get you in real trouble.

359
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,002
Prejudiced? All mailmen are evil.

360
00:16:44,125 --> 00:16:46,125
Would you stop saying that?
It's just not true.

361
00:16:46,208 --> 00:16:48,828
What do I have to do, rub your nose in it?

362
00:16:48,959 --> 00:16:49,999
Maybe it's not

363
00:16:50,125 --> 00:16:52,955
in your bright and shiny
Christmas tree world,

364
00:16:53,041 --> 00:16:55,631
but now you're down at knee level.

365
00:16:55,709 --> 00:16:58,539
Now you're going to see it
the way I see it --

366
00:16:58,667 --> 00:17:01,287
the way a dog sees it. Now come on.

367
00:17:01,417 --> 00:17:02,747
The world looks different

368
00:17:02,834 --> 00:17:05,254
when your chin's only 18 inches
off the cement,

369
00:17:05,375 --> 00:17:07,575
and it's hot inside that fur suit --

370
00:17:07,709 --> 00:17:10,079
real hot, so hot you feel
like a pack of crayons

371
00:17:10,208 --> 00:17:13,168
melting on a hot metal slide
on the playground.

372
00:17:13,291 --> 00:17:15,131
The smells rise off the sidewalk

373
00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:17,918
and smack you in the nose --
dames, gum wrappers,

374
00:17:18,041 --> 00:17:20,791
empty bottles
that have a better place to go.

375
00:17:20,875 --> 00:17:22,785
A shadow stretches across the street,

376
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,375
and you feel a chill run down your spine

377
00:17:25,458 --> 00:17:27,788
right to the tip of your tail.

378
00:17:27,917 --> 00:17:30,877
It's him -- the thief
of letters, stealer of souls.

379
00:17:30,959 --> 00:17:33,499
No, Spot, you're seeing it
all the wrong way.

380
00:17:33,583 --> 00:17:36,423
Sometimes people
actually mail their letters

381
00:17:36,542 --> 00:17:38,632
by placing them in their mailboxes

382
00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:40,629
for the letter carrier to take.

383
00:17:40,709 --> 00:17:42,629
That way, people who have a hard time

384
00:17:42,709 --> 00:17:45,209
getting to the post office
can mail their letters.

385
00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:47,333
If the postman is really our friend,

386
00:17:47,417 --> 00:17:50,287
bright boy, how come he's doing that?

387
00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:52,457
What could be more despicable,

388
00:17:52,542 --> 00:17:54,172
more contemptible, more dishonorable,

389
00:17:54,250 --> 00:17:56,170
and all those other "ables"

390
00:17:56,250 --> 00:17:59,040
than shaking down a defenseless old skirt?

391
00:17:59,166 --> 00:18:01,166
That's not what he's doing.

392
00:18:01,250 --> 00:18:03,080
He's delivering a package to her C.O.D.

393
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:05,378
That means "collect on delivery."

394
00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:09,460
Is that what it means,
or is it "collect on death"?

395
00:18:09,542 --> 00:18:12,672
Yeah. I'm pretty sure it's "delivery."

396
00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:15,290
Okay, maybe I got a little carried away.

397
00:18:15,375 --> 00:18:17,325
Maybe I sounded a little crazy,

398
00:18:17,417 --> 00:18:19,537
but what about that?

399
00:18:19,625 --> 00:18:20,875
♪ Da-da ♪

400
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,880
He's breaking into that house.

401
00:18:22,959 --> 00:18:25,919
He's not breaking in
if he lives there, Spot. See?

402
00:18:27,208 --> 00:18:29,128
That proved nothing.

403
00:18:31,875 --> 00:18:33,165
[grunts]

404
00:18:33,291 --> 00:18:35,881
See? It comes right off.

405
00:18:35,959 --> 00:18:37,829
Spot, don't do that. That's wrong.

406
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:40,377
Hey there, kiddo. Don't mess
with that mailbox.

407
00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:41,960
Few people realize

408
00:18:42,041 --> 00:18:43,921
that messing with people's mailboxes

409
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,130
is an offense of federal code, title 18,

410
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:47,628
section 1705.

411
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:50,420
[thinking] Now he's
threatening my best friend.

412
00:18:50,542 --> 00:18:52,752
That's the last straw.

413
00:18:52,875 --> 00:18:54,785
[snarling and barking]

414
00:18:54,875 --> 00:18:55,915
Help!

415
00:18:56,041 --> 00:18:58,461
Spot, no! Come back here.

416
00:18:58,583 --> 00:18:59,793
[barking]

417
00:18:59,917 --> 00:19:01,497
What's up, Spot?

418
00:19:01,583 --> 00:19:02,963
Mailman.

419
00:19:03,083 --> 00:19:06,133
Say no more.

420
00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:09,000
Hey, everybody, mailman.

421
00:19:09,125 --> 00:19:12,575
[barking]

422
00:19:13,917 --> 00:19:15,497
Spot, no!

423
00:19:22,875 --> 00:19:26,625
Leave Mr. Naven alone.
He's just doing his job.

424
00:19:26,709 --> 00:19:28,879
You should know that when I grow up,

425
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,499
I want to make a difference in this world.

426
00:19:31,583 --> 00:19:33,793
That's why I want to become
a letter carrier,

427
00:19:33,875 --> 00:19:35,665
just like Mr. Naven.

428
00:19:35,792 --> 00:19:37,792
So if you're going to go
after Mr. Naven,

429
00:19:37,875 --> 00:19:40,785
then you might as well start with me.

430
00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:44,665
All right, then.
Let's bite the kid, too!

431
00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:46,002
Bite the kid.

432
00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:47,705
What is Leonard doing?

433
00:19:47,792 --> 00:19:50,212
I mean, every dog knows
all mailmen are bad,

434
00:19:50,333 --> 00:19:52,213
and therefore I hate all mailmen.

435
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:55,211
But if I hate all mailmen,
and Leonard becomes a mailman,

436
00:19:55,291 --> 00:19:57,831
well, then, there's only
one thing I can do.

437
00:19:57,917 --> 00:19:59,627
I have to hate Leonard.

438
00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:02,290
That can't be right. Leonard is my friend.

439
00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:03,745
Leonard is good.

440
00:20:03,834 --> 00:20:06,714
Leonard is about to get mauled
by those dogs!

441
00:20:08,834 --> 00:20:12,884
Stop! That's my master, who I love!

442
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,920
Hey, he's a mailman lover.

443
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,790
Get him, the mailman,
and the future mailman.

444
00:20:18,875 --> 00:20:20,955
[growling]

445
00:20:21,041 --> 00:20:23,081
Run for it!

446
00:20:23,166 --> 00:20:26,416
[screaming]

447
00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:28,582
Spot, this can't go on!

448
00:20:28,667 --> 00:20:32,457
Don't worry, Leonard.
I've got a sure-fire idea,

449
00:20:32,542 --> 00:20:35,462
just as soon as these dogs
run out of breath.

450
00:20:39,834 --> 00:20:44,424
Friends, canines, letter carriers,

451
00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:45,580
I'm sure some of you are wondering

452
00:20:45,667 --> 00:20:48,707
why I've called you all here today.

453
00:20:48,834 --> 00:20:50,674
Well, it's a little-known fact

454
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:53,960
that prejudice can get the best of us.

455
00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:56,753
So to help others learn
the lesson I have learned,

456
00:20:56,875 --> 00:21:01,915
I've organized this dog
and mailman day of friendship.

457
00:21:02,041 --> 00:21:07,041
Letter carriers,
you may open your mailbags now!

458
00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:10,826
[all] Special delivery.

459
00:21:10,959 --> 00:21:12,249
[panting]

460
00:21:12,375 --> 00:21:15,665
Treats? Well, well, well,

461
00:21:15,750 --> 00:21:19,670
maybe we've been wrong
about these mailmen, huh?

462
00:21:22,375 --> 00:21:24,165
Don't grab, now, dogs.
There's plenty to go around.

463
00:21:24,291 --> 00:21:26,791
Nice work, buddy.

464
00:21:26,875 --> 00:21:28,375
Yes, indeed, Scott.

465
00:21:28,458 --> 00:21:30,788
I am so proud of you
for organizing all this

466
00:21:30,875 --> 00:21:33,035
that I decided to help you out a smidge

467
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,995
by ordering pizza for everybody.

468
00:21:35,125 --> 00:21:37,955
Okay, who ordered the pepperoni?

469
00:21:38,083 --> 00:21:39,963
[barking]

470
00:21:40,083 --> 00:21:41,383
[screaming]

471
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:44,880
Not my leg! Ooh! Aah!

472
00:21:44,959 --> 00:21:46,579
Aah!

473
00:21:46,709 --> 00:21:49,039
[barking]

474
00:21:49,125 --> 00:21:50,665
Sorry, Leonard.

475
00:21:50,750 --> 00:21:52,710
Guess you got to take these things

476
00:21:52,792 --> 00:21:54,252
one delivery service at a time.