1
00:00:00,333 --> 00:00:01,883
♪ Born on the wrong end
Of the leash ♪

2
00:00:01,959 --> 00:00:04,329
-♪ He was a dreamer ♪
-♪ And a little schemer ♪

3
00:00:04,375 --> 00:00:05,705
♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪

4
00:00:05,792 --> 00:00:07,422
♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪

5
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:08,460
♪ He'd start to drool ♪

6
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:10,132
-♪ One day he says ♪
-♪ I'll take a chance ♪

7
00:00:10,208 --> 00:00:11,788
♪ Trades his leash
For a pair of pants ♪

8
00:00:11,875 --> 00:00:14,205
♪ In a glance, school becomes
His favorite pastime ♪

9
00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,631
♪ I have buried a bone
For the last time ♪

10
00:00:16,709 --> 00:00:18,039
-♪ He says ♪
-♪ I want to be a boy ♪

11
00:00:18,125 --> 00:00:19,875
♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪

12
00:00:19,959 --> 00:00:21,249
♪ He's so over just being rover ♪

13
00:00:21,333 --> 00:00:22,583
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪

14
00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:25,247
♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪

15
00:00:25,333 --> 00:00:26,673
♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪

16
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,420
♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪

17
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:31,000
Why can't I be a normal kid
like any other?

18
00:00:31,083 --> 00:00:33,083
Now, doodle bug, listen to mother.

19
00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:35,126
♪ I want to be a boy ♪

20
00:00:35,208 --> 00:00:36,788
I hate dogs.

21
00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:39,745
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪

22
00:00:39,834 --> 00:00:41,504
♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪

23
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,503
I do not wish to be a dog.

24
00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:46,083
♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪

25
00:00:46,166 --> 00:00:47,536
♪ I got to be a boy ♪

26
00:00:47,625 --> 00:00:49,075
♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪

27
00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:52,206
♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪

28
00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:53,461
Yes!

29
00:01:00,208 --> 00:01:02,328
[French music playing]

30
00:01:09,166 --> 00:01:11,536
["Greensleeves" playing]

31
00:01:11,625 --> 00:01:14,575
"It is better to have loved and lost

32
00:01:14,667 --> 00:01:17,077
than never to have loved at all."

33
00:01:18,083 --> 00:01:19,673
How many of you were aware

34
00:01:19,750 --> 00:01:21,920
that the English poet
Alfred, Lord Tennyson

35
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,130
was not the first person to say this?

36
00:01:24,208 --> 00:01:25,958
[all talking]

37
00:01:26,041 --> 00:01:27,541
Uh-huh. Okay.

38
00:01:27,625 --> 00:01:31,375
No, actually William Congreve
wrote it in his play

39
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:36,078
"The Way of The World"
a full 150 years earlier.

40
00:01:36,417 --> 00:01:38,287
Well, okay, all right, folks,
clue in the teach.

41
00:01:38,375 --> 00:01:40,665
What's so ding, dang, darn fascinating

42
00:01:40,750 --> 00:01:42,580
that you can't even pay attention

43
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,327
to today's English lesson?

44
00:01:44,417 --> 00:01:46,247
Haven't you heard, Mrs. Helperman?

45
00:01:46,333 --> 00:01:48,963
The circus is coming to town.

46
00:01:49,041 --> 00:01:52,461
The circus? I love the circus!

47
00:01:52,542 --> 00:01:54,042
Ha ha ha ha!

48
00:01:55,458 --> 00:01:57,208
Ahem.

49
00:01:57,291 --> 00:02:00,251
But we mustn't forget
that this is a school night

50
00:02:00,333 --> 00:02:04,503
and there's still homework,
and tonight's homework is...

51
00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:06,883
To enjoy the circus!
Yay!

52
00:02:06,959 --> 00:02:08,709
[cheering]

53
00:02:08,792 --> 00:02:12,882
[circus music playing]

54
00:02:12,959 --> 00:02:14,579
[elephant trumpets]

55
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:16,417
[organ playing]

56
00:02:27,041 --> 00:02:28,831
Heh heh heh heh.

57
00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:32,707
[audience cheering]

58
00:02:40,041 --> 00:02:41,541
Gloriosky!

59
00:02:41,625 --> 00:02:43,285
My first circus.

60
00:02:43,375 --> 00:02:46,075
How the heck could they pack all this fun

61
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,536
into one little tent?

62
00:02:48,625 --> 00:02:50,955
Okay, now, hot dogs first,
then cotton candy.

63
00:02:51,041 --> 00:02:53,831
I got you orange soda
because at least it has the name

64
00:02:53,917 --> 00:02:55,497
of a natural food in it.

65
00:02:55,583 --> 00:02:56,673
Hmm.

66
00:02:56,750 --> 00:03:00,330
It's not really hot,
and it's not really a dog.

67
00:03:00,417 --> 00:03:05,127
But still, I just can't
bring myself to eat it.

68
00:03:05,208 --> 00:03:06,748
Mmm. Mmm.

69
00:03:06,834 --> 00:03:08,384
Oh, ho ho ho.

70
00:03:08,458 --> 00:03:10,998
Pure sugar! Mmm, and food coloring.

71
00:03:11,083 --> 00:03:12,503
My conscience is clear.

72
00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:14,423
Oh, boy, the clowns!

73
00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:17,420
[horn honks]

74
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:18,750
Toot!

75
00:03:26,458 --> 00:03:28,958
[laughter]

76
00:03:29,041 --> 00:03:31,381
[cheering]

77
00:03:34,917 --> 00:03:37,247
[all laughing]

78
00:03:42,166 --> 00:03:44,126
I should have seen that coming!

79
00:03:44,208 --> 00:03:45,878
Ha ha ha ha!

80
00:03:49,375 --> 00:03:52,165
Huh? Oh, no, no, no, no.

81
00:03:52,250 --> 00:03:54,330
I'd rather just watch.

82
00:03:54,417 --> 00:03:56,327
[whistling]

83
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,080
[grunting]

84
00:04:02,166 --> 00:04:04,206
No, please, I-I--

85
00:04:04,291 --> 00:04:06,211
allow me, oh, red-nosed one.

86
00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:09,171
No!

87
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:12,330
Thank you. Thank you! It was nothing.

88
00:04:12,417 --> 00:04:15,327
There's a lot of love in this tent,

89
00:04:15,375 --> 00:04:18,665
and we shouldn't be afraid
to talk about it.

90
00:04:22,458 --> 00:04:23,498
[cheering]

91
00:04:23,583 --> 00:04:24,923
[laughing]

92
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:27,420
[whistles]

93
00:04:33,458 --> 00:04:35,038
[laughter]

94
00:04:36,458 --> 00:04:38,168
[cheering]

95
00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:39,210
[whistles]

96
00:04:44,959 --> 00:04:46,539
[laughing]

97
00:04:46,625 --> 00:04:47,785
Oh, Leonard!

98
00:04:47,875 --> 00:04:50,995
Stop, stop! You're killing me!

99
00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:54,383
Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls of all ages,

100
00:04:54,458 --> 00:04:57,328
cast your eyes toward ring number one

101
00:04:57,417 --> 00:04:59,747
for the world-famous Parisian poodle,

102
00:04:59,834 --> 00:05:01,834
the one, the only...

103
00:05:01,917 --> 00:05:04,247
Fifi!

104
00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:05,713
[cheering]

105
00:05:05,792 --> 00:05:08,922
[French music playing]

106
00:05:12,417 --> 00:05:14,497
[pounding]

107
00:05:14,583 --> 00:05:16,213
Fifi.

108
00:05:17,792 --> 00:05:22,332
Fifi, you make my heart
feel so strong and beefy.

109
00:05:22,417 --> 00:05:24,327
Oh, precious Fifi,

110
00:05:24,417 --> 00:05:27,127
let's fly above the trees
so green and leafy.

111
00:05:27,208 --> 00:05:30,918
We'll find relief-y from all our grief-y.

112
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:35,250
But I must be brief-y, do it in a jeefy.

113
00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:39,294
Don't want to hit a reef-y.

114
00:05:39,375 --> 00:05:43,205
For I've no more words to describe

115
00:05:43,291 --> 00:05:45,421
or rhyme with...

116
00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:47,040
Fifi.

117
00:05:47,125 --> 00:05:48,245
Scott?

118
00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:51,043
Um, I think your neighbor would like

119
00:05:51,125 --> 00:05:53,165
to return to his seat, dear.

120
00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:55,130
Huh? Oh.

121
00:05:55,208 --> 00:05:59,288
Uh, ha ha, right.

122
00:05:59,375 --> 00:06:02,625
I guess the circus
just makes me a little goofy.

123
00:06:04,041 --> 00:06:06,041
[elephant trumpets]

124
00:06:10,959 --> 00:06:11,879
Excuse me, sir.

125
00:06:11,959 --> 00:06:15,999
I mean, ma'am... Uh, sir-a'am.

126
00:06:16,083 --> 00:06:17,213
Will the clowns be coming out soon?

127
00:06:19,125 --> 00:06:20,415
Here they come!

128
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:23,830
The guys who changed my life forever.

129
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:26,917
When I grow up, I want
to paint my face white,

130
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,960
jump out of a car engine,

131
00:06:29,041 --> 00:06:31,961
and spray fizzy water down
my pants just like you guys.

132
00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:34,041
When I was your age,

133
00:06:34,125 --> 00:06:35,705
I wanted to grow up to be president.

134
00:06:35,792 --> 00:06:38,172
[whistles] Boy, the world's changed.

135
00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:41,250
Oh, where is she?
Could I possibly have blinked

136
00:06:41,333 --> 00:06:44,753
and missed the world-famous
Parisian poodle,

137
00:06:44,834 --> 00:06:46,134
the one, the only...

138
00:06:46,208 --> 00:06:47,538
Fifi?

139
00:06:47,625 --> 00:06:49,535
Oh, woe.

140
00:06:55,125 --> 00:06:57,915
Oh, pardonnez-moi.

141
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,460
No.

142
00:06:59,542 --> 00:07:02,542
Ooh! Oh, uh, no. No.

143
00:07:02,625 --> 00:07:05,415
Pardonnez is all moi.

144
00:07:09,125 --> 00:07:12,205
Allow me, s'il vous plate.

145
00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:21,540
Ooh!

146
00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:27,040
Mon dieu.

147
00:07:27,125 --> 00:07:29,415
Those eyes, it is as if
he could see through

148
00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:31,330
to the very essence of my soul,

149
00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:33,417
as if he were not a boy at all,

150
00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:36,460
but an abnormally smart dog,
just like myself.

151
00:07:36,542 --> 00:07:39,082
Don't let the human pants
I wear deceive you.

152
00:07:39,166 --> 00:07:42,496
I am also an abnormally smart dog,

153
00:07:42,583 --> 00:07:44,923
perhaps even smarter because I know

154
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,500
that the grammatically preferable usage

155
00:07:47,583 --> 00:07:50,503
is to say "abnormally smart,
just like me."

156
00:07:50,583 --> 00:07:54,253
Forgive me. English is my second language.

157
00:07:54,333 --> 00:07:55,383
Mine too.

158
00:07:55,458 --> 00:07:59,078
My first language is the language of love.

159
00:07:59,166 --> 00:08:01,286
Wow, I didn't even think that.

160
00:08:01,375 --> 00:08:03,455
It just came right out of my mouth.

161
00:08:03,542 --> 00:08:05,712
I got all the clowns' autographs!

162
00:08:05,792 --> 00:08:07,212
Ah.

163
00:08:07,291 --> 00:08:09,251
Okay, we can go now.

164
00:08:10,625 --> 00:08:12,455
I have to see you again.

165
00:08:12,542 --> 00:08:15,632
I do two shows tomorrow.
The matinee starts at noon.

166
00:08:15,709 --> 00:08:17,879
No, no. I mean...

167
00:08:17,959 --> 00:08:20,379
Oh, ho ho ho.

168
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:21,458
I see.

169
00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:24,832
You're more French than American, hmm?

170
00:08:24,917 --> 00:08:26,247
Oh, ho ho ho.

171
00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:29,833
Meet me tonight, 7:00,
behind the elephants' quarters.

172
00:08:29,917 --> 00:08:31,827
How will I know where that is?

173
00:08:31,917 --> 00:08:34,667
Believe me, you'll know.

174
00:08:37,542 --> 00:08:39,422
[crickets chirping]

175
00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:41,670
Mmm, Fifi...

176
00:08:41,750 --> 00:08:44,250
♪ La da-da
Da-da da-da da-da leafy ♪

177
00:08:44,333 --> 00:08:46,753
[humming]

178
00:08:46,834 --> 00:08:47,754
Brief-y.

179
00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:50,294
[humming]

180
00:08:50,375 --> 00:08:51,705
Jeefy.

181
00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:54,882
Ha ha ha.

182
00:08:54,959 --> 00:08:56,499
Reef-y.

183
00:08:56,583 --> 00:08:58,673
Ho ho ho ha ha ha.

184
00:08:58,750 --> 00:09:00,670
♪ My little Fifi ♪

185
00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:02,710
Wacko, wacko, wacko.

186
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:05,132
[honks horn]

187
00:09:05,208 --> 00:09:07,788
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

188
00:09:07,875 --> 00:09:08,785
Leonard!

189
00:09:08,875 --> 00:09:10,705
Oh, my soul, are you all right?

190
00:09:10,792 --> 00:09:11,712
Yeah, I'm just practicing
my clown routine.

191
00:09:11,792 --> 00:09:13,292
Did you think it was funny?

192
00:09:13,375 --> 00:09:17,415
Funny? If you severely
injured your backbone,

193
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:19,130
ending up hospitalized for weeks,

194
00:09:19,208 --> 00:09:22,208
or worse yet--
I can't even say the word...

195
00:09:22,291 --> 00:09:24,831
Pardon me if I fail to find the humor

196
00:09:24,917 --> 00:09:27,457
in that dreadful scenario
of pain and suffering.

197
00:09:27,542 --> 00:09:29,582
I was just trying to get a laugh.

198
00:09:29,667 --> 00:09:30,877
Ah, kid, you're pathetic.

199
00:09:30,959 --> 00:09:34,129
If you want to do a decent pratfall,
you got to give it a little this.

200
00:09:34,208 --> 00:09:36,288
[whistling]

201
00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:39,205
Uhh! Bada-boom, bada-bing!

202
00:09:39,291 --> 00:09:41,041
Ha ha ha!

203
00:09:41,125 --> 00:09:42,625
Now, that's funny.

204
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,629
Ha ha! My sides hurt.

205
00:09:48,166 --> 00:09:49,916
Stop! Stop!

206
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,710
I can't breathe!

207
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,712
Great. My canary's got
a scholarship to clown college,

208
00:09:54,792 --> 00:09:56,632
and all I got is a sore butt.

209
00:09:56,709 --> 00:09:59,499
What do ya think, Leonard?
With or without the collar?

210
00:09:59,583 --> 00:10:01,173
I want her to know that I'm a dog

211
00:10:01,250 --> 00:10:02,670
but not just a dog.

212
00:10:02,750 --> 00:10:04,170
She's been all over the world, you know,

213
00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:05,710
seen things I've only read about.

214
00:10:05,792 --> 00:10:08,002
I can't believe you're so worked up

215
00:10:08,083 --> 00:10:09,173
about some circus dog.

216
00:10:09,250 --> 00:10:13,630
"Some circus dog"?
"Some circus dog"?!

217
00:10:13,709 --> 00:10:15,959
Pally, we've been dog and master
for a lot of years,

218
00:10:16,041 --> 00:10:17,421
so I'm going to let that one slide,

219
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:19,210
but if you ever refer to the girl I love

220
00:10:19,291 --> 00:10:21,961
as "some circus dog" again,

221
00:10:22,041 --> 00:10:23,961
I cannot be held responsible
for my actions.

222
00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:26,751
"The girl you love"? What's the big deal?

223
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:29,294
You saw her once for five minutes.

224
00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:31,075
Oh, I see. I see.

225
00:10:31,166 --> 00:10:33,536
And when the sun breaks through the clouds

226
00:10:33,625 --> 00:10:35,325
on a gray and drizzly day,

227
00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:38,787
and suddenly the sky is filled
with that dazzling rainbow,

228
00:10:38,875 --> 00:10:40,375
do you also say,

229
00:10:40,458 --> 00:10:42,078
"eh, what's the big deal?"

230
00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:44,496
I love her! Heaven, help me!

231
00:10:44,583 --> 00:10:47,753
Don't tell me not to live,
just-sit-and-putter.

232
00:10:47,834 --> 00:10:50,174
Did you hear that, world?

233
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:53,540
Oh, what kind
of crazy cliché have I become?

234
00:10:53,625 --> 00:10:55,325
Ah, who cares?

235
00:10:55,417 --> 00:11:00,247
I am head over heels
for a poodle named Fifi!

236
00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:03,333
Ohh, isn't it romantical?

237
00:11:03,417 --> 00:11:05,207
Don't go there, little brother.

238
00:11:05,291 --> 00:11:07,001
She'll only break your heart

239
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,333
and leave you barking at the moon.

240
00:11:09,417 --> 00:11:11,247
Don't listen to him.

241
00:11:11,333 --> 00:11:13,213
Faint heart ne'er won fair maid.

242
00:11:13,291 --> 00:11:15,381
You don't gain anything worthwhile in life

243
00:11:15,458 --> 00:11:16,958
without taking a risk.

244
00:11:17,041 --> 00:11:19,001
Oh, yeah, this from the cat

245
00:11:19,083 --> 00:11:21,423
who hasn't taken a risk in nine lives.

246
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,420
You may be a green clown,
but your heart is as hard

247
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:26,000
as a dried-up old piece of chow.

248
00:11:26,083 --> 00:11:29,543
Listen to your Jolly.
It's love that counts.

249
00:11:29,625 --> 00:11:32,455
I say l'amour, l'amour,

250
00:11:32,542 --> 00:11:34,882
give me more l'amour.

251
00:11:34,959 --> 00:11:36,789
L'amour, shlamore.

252
00:11:36,875 --> 00:11:40,665
I used to think that,
about a thousand seed bells ago.

253
00:11:43,834 --> 00:11:45,754
Let me tell you fellas a little story

254
00:11:45,834 --> 00:11:47,964
about how I got run over by love

255
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,081
and left by the side of life's highway

256
00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:52,166
like yesterday's road kill.

257
00:11:54,208 --> 00:11:56,498
Of all the pet shops in all the world,

258
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:59,713
she had to fly by mine.
Her name was Gertie.

259
00:11:59,792 --> 00:12:01,422
She was a goose,

260
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:03,420
but I was the one who got cooked.

261
00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:06,290
One look from those tiny
black eyes of hers,

262
00:12:06,375 --> 00:12:09,245
and I'd have torn my feathers
out to make her nest.

263
00:12:09,333 --> 00:12:11,673
But it was over before it began.

264
00:12:11,750 --> 00:12:14,380
She migrated south, don't you know,

265
00:12:14,458 --> 00:12:16,788
and left me walking up
my plastic ferris wheel,

266
00:12:16,875 --> 00:12:20,075
lonelier than I ever knew
a bird could be.

267
00:12:20,166 --> 00:12:23,246
My advice to you boys,
never give your heart to a skirt

268
00:12:23,333 --> 00:12:25,333
who's been hard-wired by mother nature

269
00:12:25,417 --> 00:12:27,707
to fly to Tierra del Fuego
every six months.

270
00:12:29,125 --> 00:12:30,625
[sobs] I'm not crying.

271
00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:33,209
I just got a little piece
of millet in my eye.

272
00:12:33,291 --> 00:12:35,291
It's okay, big guy.

273
00:12:35,375 --> 00:12:38,535
Fall down for us again.
That'll make you feel better.

274
00:12:41,250 --> 00:12:43,080
Ha ha ha ha!

275
00:12:43,166 --> 00:12:45,456
See? Ha ha ha!

276
00:12:45,542 --> 00:12:47,632
It hurts, but it's a good hurt.

277
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,750
I'm ready, Leonard. Let's go.

278
00:12:56,834 --> 00:12:59,584
What do you mean, "let's"?
It's your dog date.

279
00:12:59,667 --> 00:13:01,247
What the heck do you need me for?

280
00:13:01,333 --> 00:13:03,133
[man] I'm-a don't believing my ears here.

281
00:13:03,208 --> 00:13:06,538
You're asking me to set up
an orange crate in the alley,

282
00:13:06,625 --> 00:13:08,915
serve dinner to a couple of mutts,

283
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,040
and play the violin?

284
00:13:11,125 --> 00:13:13,665
Just long enough for them
to accidentally chew

285
00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:16,580
on the same piece of spaghetti
until their lips meet.

286
00:13:16,667 --> 00:13:18,667
Sonny, "A"-- the board of health

287
00:13:18,750 --> 00:13:21,830
would shut me down in three seconds.

288
00:13:21,917 --> 00:13:24,457
"B" - this is a high-class joint.

289
00:13:24,583 --> 00:13:26,923
We don't call it "spaghetti."

290
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,330
We call it "pasta."

291
00:13:28,417 --> 00:13:30,167
And 3-- dogs don't have lips.

292
00:13:30,250 --> 00:13:35,290
That skinny black line, it's-a not a lip.

293
00:13:36,875 --> 00:13:40,625
Sorry. That was the last
Italian restaurant in town.

294
00:13:40,709 --> 00:13:42,829
Guess we all just better go home.

295
00:13:42,917 --> 00:13:43,827
Oh, no!

296
00:13:43,917 --> 00:13:46,457
I have waited for this moment all my life.

297
00:13:46,542 --> 00:13:49,752
But, Spot, we've only known
each other a few minutes.

298
00:13:49,834 --> 00:13:51,834
Could everyone just knock it off

299
00:13:51,917 --> 00:13:53,417
with the logic already?

300
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,170
I know how I feel!

301
00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:57,710
Come on!

302
00:14:03,875 --> 00:14:05,705
Please, Mr. Mandelbaum,

303
00:14:05,792 --> 00:14:08,332
it would mean a lot to my dog.

304
00:14:08,417 --> 00:14:09,997
Oh! I'll do my clown act for you.

305
00:14:11,792 --> 00:14:13,132
No, Leonard, no!

306
00:14:13,208 --> 00:14:14,418
You'll kill yourself!

307
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:17,290
It's a bit.

308
00:14:17,709 --> 00:14:19,329
Oh, Daddy, please help him

309
00:14:19,417 --> 00:14:21,537
so he'll stop doing
these scary clown things.

310
00:14:26,291 --> 00:14:29,211
[playing romantic music]

311
00:14:37,375 --> 00:14:39,245
[clock tower chiming]

312
00:14:39,333 --> 00:14:41,133
Sacre bleu, I must go pack my things.

313
00:14:41,208 --> 00:14:44,708
The circus train leaves at 9:00 sharp.

314
00:14:44,792 --> 00:14:47,632
But we've only known
each other a few minutes.

315
00:14:47,709 --> 00:14:49,879
I know I said not to say that before,

316
00:14:49,959 --> 00:14:52,329
but it's true, and it's not enough.

317
00:14:52,417 --> 00:14:54,577
There's so much we have yet to do, Fifi--

318
00:14:54,667 --> 00:14:57,707
have litters, lots and lots of litters,

319
00:14:57,792 --> 00:14:59,582
grow old together,

320
00:14:59,667 --> 00:15:03,577
have arthritis in our hip joints together,

321
00:15:03,667 --> 00:15:06,787
and share a bowl of senior formula

322
00:15:06,875 --> 00:15:10,875
for less active dogs

323
00:15:10,959 --> 00:15:14,579
as the sun slowly sets in the West.

324
00:15:14,667 --> 00:15:17,287
♪ You're always
In my dream ♪

325
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:20,415
Oh, Spot, as beautiful as all that sounds,

326
00:15:20,542 --> 00:15:23,082
it took a very long time to say,

327
00:15:23,166 --> 00:15:24,376
and now I really have to run and pack

328
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:26,750
or I'll miss the circus train for sure.

329
00:15:26,834 --> 00:15:28,924
That's okay. We got to be going anyway.

330
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:34,290
Au revoir, Mon Cher, l'amour.

331
00:15:35,208 --> 00:15:36,498
Wait!

332
00:15:36,583 --> 00:15:38,833
Come with me, Spot.

333
00:15:38,959 --> 00:15:39,999
Join the circus.

334
00:15:40,083 --> 00:15:43,793
You haven't lived
till you've seen the lights

335
00:15:43,875 --> 00:15:45,825
of Tenafly, New Jersey.

336
00:15:45,917 --> 00:15:48,077
Oh, it's happening too fast.

337
00:15:48,166 --> 00:15:49,536
This is all so crazy.

338
00:15:49,667 --> 00:15:52,747
Crazy, Spot, or is it the sanest thing

339
00:15:52,834 --> 00:15:56,634
either one of us has ever
done in our crazy lives?

340
00:15:56,709 --> 00:15:59,959
Wow. That should be in a fortune cookie.

341
00:16:00,041 --> 00:16:01,421
No, it's crazy!

342
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:04,630
Spot is not a circus dog.

343
00:16:04,709 --> 00:16:07,039
He's just a regular dog!

344
00:16:07,125 --> 00:16:09,495
Who, granted, dresses like a boy
and goes to school,

345
00:16:09,583 --> 00:16:13,253
but your school is here.
Your life is here,

346
00:16:13,333 --> 00:16:17,503
not in Tenafly, New Jersey,
or Terre Haute, Indiana,

347
00:16:17,583 --> 00:16:19,503
or Tishomingo, Oklahoma.

348
00:16:19,583 --> 00:16:21,673
How do you know about these places?

349
00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:24,580
They were on the back
of this circus popcorn box.

350
00:16:24,709 --> 00:16:26,919
Don't think I haven't dreamed
of going there myself...

351
00:16:27,041 --> 00:16:30,171
Someday, when I'm a clown.

352
00:16:42,875 --> 00:16:44,665
[squeaking]

353
00:16:58,208 --> 00:17:00,078
[cranking]

354
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:09,790
A clown? But you are not funny.

355
00:17:09,917 --> 00:17:11,707
I said it was a dream, okay?

356
00:17:11,792 --> 00:17:14,712
Could everyone just please
give me a break?

357
00:17:14,792 --> 00:17:16,582
Argh!

358
00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:17,827
The reality is,

359
00:17:17,917 --> 00:17:19,707
Spot and I live here,

360
00:17:19,834 --> 00:17:21,544
and we have school in the morning.

361
00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:22,575
Let's go.

362
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,380
Meet me at the train.

363
00:17:26,917 --> 00:17:27,747
Okay.

364
00:17:31,375 --> 00:17:32,995
[snoring]

365
00:17:45,291 --> 00:17:49,081
[snoring continues]

366
00:17:49,208 --> 00:17:53,708
[pretending to snore]

367
00:17:53,792 --> 00:17:54,922
[thinking] Is he really snoring,

368
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,500
or is he fake snoring to out-fake-snore me

369
00:17:57,583 --> 00:18:00,253
in a clever attempt to smoke me out?

370
00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:01,633
[loud snore]

371
00:18:01,709 --> 00:18:02,879
Nobody could fake that.

372
00:18:02,959 --> 00:18:04,829
He's got to get those adenoids checked.

373
00:18:10,083 --> 00:18:12,213
Leash...

374
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:15,041
Rawhide chew...

375
00:18:15,125 --> 00:18:17,205
[sniffs]

376
00:18:17,291 --> 00:18:20,381
Good old tennis balls...

377
00:18:21,458 --> 00:18:25,748
Ah, and "The Complete Works
of William Shakespeare."

378
00:18:25,834 --> 00:18:29,044
[snoring]

379
00:18:33,709 --> 00:18:34,749
[snoring]

380
00:18:34,834 --> 00:18:36,714
I'll have a large tomato juice

381
00:18:36,792 --> 00:18:38,422
with a raw egg in it.

382
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:41,000
Pretty Boy, wake up. Spot's leaving.

383
00:18:41,083 --> 00:18:44,673
What? Only one thing
gets a guy up at this hour--

384
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:47,880
la femme fatale.

385
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:51,500
I told Fifi I'd meet her
at the circus train at 8:00.

386
00:18:51,583 --> 00:18:55,293
I wish I had a sunflower seed
for every time I've heard that.

387
00:18:55,375 --> 00:18:56,745
Spot, are you sure?

388
00:18:56,834 --> 00:18:59,134
It's so dangerous and forbidden...

389
00:18:59,208 --> 00:19:00,918
And absolutely romantical.

390
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,500
What are you talking? It's lunacy!

391
00:19:03,583 --> 00:19:06,253
Leaving everything and everyone you love

392
00:19:06,333 --> 00:19:08,793
to run off with some French dish,

393
00:19:08,875 --> 00:19:09,875
travel the world,

394
00:19:09,959 --> 00:19:13,039
smell the greasepaint, hear the applause.

395
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,500
You wouldn't happen to have room
for a small bird, would you?

396
00:19:17,583 --> 00:19:19,463
I don't eat much,
and I got a lot of great jokes.

397
00:19:19,583 --> 00:19:23,713
Sorry, pretty boy,
but like Charles A. Lindbergh

398
00:19:23,792 --> 00:19:26,672
in the first nonstop flight
from New York to Paris,

399
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,170
I got to fly solo on this one.

400
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:31,790
Hey, you big scaredy-cat,
you keep Leonard's belly warm

401
00:19:31,875 --> 00:19:33,375
when he's watching TV, you hear?

402
00:19:33,458 --> 00:19:36,538
Yeah. I promise, but I can't say sometimes

403
00:19:36,625 --> 00:19:40,325
it won't be a little moist from my tears.

404
00:19:41,375 --> 00:19:44,825
And you, you blustery
little bag of feathers,

405
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:48,877
you better keep singing
a happy tune when I'm gone.

406
00:19:48,959 --> 00:19:49,999
[sobbing]

407
00:19:50,083 --> 00:19:53,213
This darn millet seed
just gets everywhere.

408
00:19:53,291 --> 00:19:55,881
I think I'll miss you most of all.

409
00:19:55,959 --> 00:19:59,039
I can't do it. I can't leave Leonard

410
00:19:59,125 --> 00:20:02,035
for some girl I just met
for a few minutes.

411
00:20:02,125 --> 00:20:04,455
What? What's going on?

412
00:20:04,542 --> 00:20:06,752
No time to explain.

413
00:20:06,834 --> 00:20:09,714
You got to get dressed,
go to the train station,

414
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:11,382
and deliver a message for me.

415
00:20:11,458 --> 00:20:12,958
I'd take it myself,

416
00:20:13,041 --> 00:20:16,421
but it would just hurt us both too much.

417
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:20,540
Oh, of all the circus tents
in all the fairgrounds

418
00:20:20,625 --> 00:20:23,705
in all the 2-bit towns in the world,

419
00:20:23,792 --> 00:20:25,712
why did she have to jump

420
00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:28,252
through the ring of fire in mine?

421
00:20:29,959 --> 00:20:33,999
Even though Spot can't go
to Tishomingo with you tonight,

422
00:20:34,083 --> 00:20:36,253
part of his heart will be there,

423
00:20:36,333 --> 00:20:39,003
and in Tenafly and Tonawanda and...

424
00:20:39,083 --> 00:20:42,463
All the rest of these other places.

425
00:20:42,583 --> 00:20:45,543
All aboard! Whoo-whoo!

426
00:20:45,667 --> 00:20:47,577
No, wait!

427
00:20:47,667 --> 00:20:50,787
I have a message!

428
00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:52,035
Dang.

429
00:20:53,834 --> 00:20:55,424
Tell me, did you tell her?

430
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:58,040
What did she tell you? No, don't tell me.

431
00:20:58,125 --> 00:21:00,535
I can tell just by looking at your face.

432
00:21:01,542 --> 00:21:04,502
Your face tells me nothing! Tell me!!

433
00:21:04,583 --> 00:21:06,133
She-- she--

434
00:21:06,208 --> 00:21:08,918
She didn't take it well, did she?

435
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,830
She left on that train
without saying a word.

436
00:21:12,917 --> 00:21:15,997
Ooh, sweet pain.

437
00:21:16,166 --> 00:21:18,246
Well, as Alfred, Lord Tennyson

438
00:21:18,333 --> 00:21:22,543
and/or William Congreve
once so wisely said,

439
00:21:22,625 --> 00:21:25,785
"It is much better
to have loved and lost..."

440
00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:32,915
Aah!

441
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,829
"Than never to have loved at all."

442
00:21:36,917 --> 00:21:39,957
Ahh. I shall never forget her.

443
00:21:40,041 --> 00:21:43,291
And I know she'll never forget you.

444
00:21:43,458 --> 00:21:45,328
[train whistle blowing]