1 00:00:00,333 --> 00:00:01,883 Of the leash 2 00:00:01,959 --> 00:00:04,329 - 3 00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:09,882 - 4 00:00:09,959 --> 00:00:11,789 For a pair of pants 5 00:00:11,875 --> 00:00:14,205 His favorite pastime 6 00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,631 For the last time 7 00:00:16,709 --> 00:00:18,039 - 8 00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:31,000 Why can't I be a normal kid like any other? 9 00:00:31,083 --> 00:00:33,083 Now, doodle bug, listen to mother. 10 00:00:35,208 --> 00:00:36,788 I hate dogs. 11 00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,503 I do not wish to be a dog. 12 00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:53,541 Yes! 13 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:11,249 Okey-dokey, now. 14 00:01:11,333 --> 00:01:13,333 I hope each and every one of you 15 00:01:13,417 --> 00:01:15,077 has a splendiferous weekend. 16 00:01:17,083 --> 00:01:19,173 Mrs. Helperman, yoo-hoo! 17 00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:21,130 I have a vitally important announcement! 18 00:01:21,208 --> 00:01:24,708 Well, today's my birthday, 19 00:01:24,792 --> 00:01:27,332 so everyone is invited 20 00:01:27,417 --> 00:01:30,077 to my house tonight 21 00:01:30,166 --> 00:01:34,916 for a sleepover party they'll never forget! 22 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,500 Ha ha! 23 00:01:36,625 --> 00:01:37,495 Eww! 24 00:01:37,583 --> 00:01:39,173 Oh, bummer... 25 00:01:39,250 --> 00:01:41,500 Dude, I wish I could. 26 00:01:41,583 --> 00:01:44,133 Well, cold potatoes to you, suckers. 27 00:01:44,208 --> 00:01:46,878 That just means more cake for Leonard and me. 28 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,079 I don't think I can make it either. 29 00:01:49,166 --> 00:01:52,246 I was planning to... clean my room! 30 00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:53,713 Yeah! Tha-- that's it! 31 00:01:53,792 --> 00:01:55,382 Uh, sidebar? 32 00:01:56,291 --> 00:01:58,251 What are you talking, "clean my room"? 33 00:01:58,333 --> 00:02:00,583 This is a sleepover, 34 00:02:00,667 --> 00:02:02,827 my first sleepover as a boy. 35 00:02:02,917 --> 00:02:04,877 You don't want to be there to have the time of my life? 36 00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:07,629 But it's all night, in a strange house! 37 00:02:07,709 --> 00:02:10,329 Lenny, everything's strange until you try it. 38 00:02:10,417 --> 00:02:13,127 Admittedly, some things are stranger than others. 39 00:02:13,208 --> 00:02:15,878 My friend Leonard and I will be there tonight 40 00:02:15,959 --> 00:02:17,039 with bells on. 41 00:02:17,125 --> 00:02:19,915 Cool! We'll all match. 42 00:02:21,583 --> 00:02:23,503 Well, all right. 43 00:02:23,583 --> 00:02:26,543 I'll go, but I'm not wearing bells. 44 00:02:26,625 --> 00:02:29,205 And here's a fresh pair of underpants 45 00:02:29,291 --> 00:02:31,211 for in the morning, 46 00:02:31,291 --> 00:02:33,211 and an emergency pair of underpants, 47 00:02:33,291 --> 00:02:34,881 and an extra pair 48 00:02:34,959 --> 00:02:37,879 in case something happens to the emergency underpants. 49 00:02:37,959 --> 00:02:39,879 Mom, I'm 10 years old. 50 00:02:39,959 --> 00:02:41,879 Could you please stop saying "underpants"? 51 00:02:41,959 --> 00:02:43,879 Ooh, ooh. I'm sorry. 52 00:02:43,959 --> 00:02:46,879 Here are your three pair of briefs, Mr. Man. 53 00:02:48,291 --> 00:02:50,131 I thought she'd never leave. 54 00:02:50,208 --> 00:02:52,168 I've got a sleepover to pack for. 55 00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:54,170 Okay, now. Socks. 56 00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:56,540 Are they packed in a proportionate ratio 57 00:02:56,625 --> 00:02:57,955 to underpants? 58 00:02:58,041 --> 00:03:00,461 To wit, fresh pair, emergency pair, extra pair? 59 00:03:00,542 --> 00:03:02,422 Or can I just turn the ones I wore today 60 00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:03,630 inside out in the morning? 61 00:03:03,709 --> 00:03:06,169 How should I know? Why are you asking me? 62 00:03:06,250 --> 00:03:08,080 Yikes, Mr. Man. 63 00:03:08,166 --> 00:03:11,826 It's just a simple question. Don't nip my nose off. 64 00:03:11,917 --> 00:03:12,957 Sorry. 65 00:03:13,041 --> 00:03:15,631 What's up? Are you afraid of going to Ian's? 66 00:03:15,709 --> 00:03:18,579 There's nothing to fear. I'm packing my rabbit's foot. 67 00:03:18,667 --> 00:03:19,917 It's not that. 68 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,960 What, then? It's just a sleepover, 69 00:03:23,041 --> 00:03:25,331 like every other you've ever been to. 70 00:03:25,417 --> 00:03:27,207 Wait. The way you looked away 71 00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:29,211 just now when I said that... 72 00:03:29,291 --> 00:03:30,791 Great sizzling fajitas! 73 00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:33,455 You've never been to a sleepover either? 74 00:03:33,542 --> 00:03:35,462 No. No, I haven't. 75 00:03:35,542 --> 00:03:37,672 Really? Wow! 76 00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:39,380 Dear diary, 77 00:03:39,458 --> 00:03:41,998 tonight, Leonard and I will share a special first 78 00:03:42,083 --> 00:03:43,883 in each other's lives. 79 00:03:43,959 --> 00:03:46,039 I'll immortalize it in the morning. 80 00:03:46,125 --> 00:03:48,415 Come on, let's go. The fun won't wait. 81 00:03:49,667 --> 00:03:51,327 I can't do it, Scott. 82 00:03:51,417 --> 00:03:53,207 Aw, come on, Leonard. It's going to be fine. 83 00:03:53,291 --> 00:03:55,331 Would a haunted house have balloons? 84 00:03:55,417 --> 00:03:57,707 It's just that -- well, don't think I'm dumb, 85 00:03:57,792 --> 00:04:00,252 but, okay, the reason I've never gone 86 00:04:00,333 --> 00:04:02,583 to a sleepover at anyone's house before is, 87 00:04:02,750 --> 00:04:05,000 well, I worry. 88 00:04:05,083 --> 00:04:07,173 I mean, what if the parents yell? 89 00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:08,880 What if it smells funny? 90 00:04:08,959 --> 00:04:10,879 What if their mom cooks something 91 00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:13,919 with raisins or onions, or raisins and onions? 92 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,540 What if their sheets are itchy? 93 00:04:15,625 --> 00:04:19,285 What if I can't fall asleep, or what if I have nightmares? 94 00:04:19,375 --> 00:04:22,375 Gee, I wish you'd brought all this up before. 95 00:04:22,458 --> 00:04:23,498 Why? 96 00:04:23,583 --> 00:04:25,583 I just rang the bell. 97 00:04:25,667 --> 00:04:27,997 What if it does smell funny? 98 00:04:29,750 --> 00:04:31,000 Aah! 99 00:04:31,083 --> 00:04:33,213 And like sleeping over's not bad enough, 100 00:04:33,291 --> 00:04:34,791 this is Ian's house! 101 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,955 Let me talk. I'll get us out of it. 102 00:04:37,041 --> 00:04:41,131 We'll be safe in our own unsmelly beds by nightfall. 103 00:04:41,208 --> 00:04:43,538 Hello, boys. 104 00:04:43,625 --> 00:04:45,535 Ian's been on pins and needles waiting for you. 105 00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:48,415 Ha ha ha. Come on in out of the cold, chums. 106 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:50,420 That doesn't sound like yelling to me. 107 00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:52,460 They do seem sort of nice, but... 108 00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:56,382 Hey! It smells good in here. 109 00:04:56,458 --> 00:04:58,208 I'm making yummy birthday cookies 110 00:04:58,291 --> 00:05:00,461 for you boys to decorate later. 111 00:05:00,542 --> 00:05:02,632 Do they have raisins in them? 112 00:05:02,709 --> 00:05:05,249 Or onions, perhaps? 113 00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:06,753 No, sillies, 114 00:05:06,834 --> 00:05:08,754 nor cabbage, nor olives -- 115 00:05:08,834 --> 00:05:12,134 just sugar and butter and lots of love. 116 00:05:12,208 --> 00:05:14,418 Hey, my mom says that all the time! 117 00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:17,210 Now, you boys just make yourselves at home. 118 00:05:19,542 --> 00:05:20,882 Ahh. I don't know about you, 119 00:05:20,959 --> 00:05:24,669 but I'm starting to feel pretty dang relaxed. 120 00:05:24,750 --> 00:05:27,290 Yeah. This might not be so bad after all. 121 00:05:27,375 --> 00:05:31,705 Are you ready to par-tay? 122 00:05:31,792 --> 00:05:33,712 Know what I'm sayin'? 123 00:05:39,959 --> 00:05:42,209 Happy, happy, happy birthday 124 00:05:42,291 --> 00:05:44,881 Happy, happy, happy birthday 125 00:05:44,959 --> 00:05:47,539 Happy, happy birthday 126 00:05:52,083 --> 00:05:53,253 Ha ha ha! 127 00:05:53,333 --> 00:05:55,673 Happy birthday to me! 128 00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:57,040 Ha ha ha! 129 00:05:57,125 --> 00:05:59,455 And now for the real fun. 130 00:05:59,542 --> 00:06:04,042 Pajamas and sleeping bags, ho! 131 00:06:04,125 --> 00:06:08,035 Let the sleepover begin! 132 00:06:08,125 --> 00:06:11,375 Hey, say it, don't spray it. 133 00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,828 That was some of the best-tasting toothpaste 134 00:06:13,917 --> 00:06:15,457 I've ever brushed with. 135 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,792 Yep. The toilet water wasn't bad, either. 136 00:06:17,875 --> 00:06:20,205 Ha ha ha. Dog joke. 137 00:06:20,291 --> 00:06:23,211 Your pajama bottoms, they're backwards. 138 00:06:23,291 --> 00:06:24,791 Whoops. Forgive me. 139 00:06:24,875 --> 00:06:27,205 I usually sleep the way I was born. 140 00:06:27,291 --> 00:06:29,831 I thought the tail hole was rather convenient. 141 00:06:29,917 --> 00:06:33,037 So look at us -- two dudes in our jammies 142 00:06:33,125 --> 00:06:35,035 getting ready to hit the old sleeping bags. 143 00:06:35,125 --> 00:06:37,995 No fears, no tears. 144 00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:40,173 Yeah. I'm actually having a good time. 145 00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:42,920 What was I worried about all these years? 146 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:49,000 Come in! We've been expecting you! 147 00:06:49,834 --> 00:06:52,754 Ha ha ha! Were you a-scared? 148 00:06:52,834 --> 00:06:54,754 It was just me... 149 00:06:54,834 --> 00:06:58,714 But you never can tell! 150 00:06:58,792 --> 00:07:00,752 Sometimes the ancient dead 151 00:07:00,834 --> 00:07:03,754 who are buried under my floor 152 00:07:03,834 --> 00:07:07,464 do talk in their sleep! 153 00:07:07,542 --> 00:07:10,002 Don't freak, Leonard. It's just an urban legend. 154 00:07:10,083 --> 00:07:11,253 They're almost never true. 155 00:07:11,333 --> 00:07:13,423 Uh, you don't have a hook, do you? 156 00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,830 Um, not that I've ever seen, 157 00:07:15,917 --> 00:07:17,827 but sometimes, 158 00:07:17,917 --> 00:07:21,877 mysterious things do scratch my window! 159 00:07:21,959 --> 00:07:22,829 Ha ha ha! 160 00:07:25,041 --> 00:07:27,041 I want to go home! 161 00:07:27,125 --> 00:07:28,375 It's okay, Leonard. 162 00:07:28,458 --> 00:07:31,288 There's two of us and only one of him. 163 00:07:31,375 --> 00:07:32,825 Well, gentlemen, 164 00:07:32,917 --> 00:07:35,577 now that we've got the boring ice cream 165 00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:37,747 and kiddie games out of the way, 166 00:07:39,291 --> 00:07:42,211 it is time for some real fun! 167 00:07:42,291 --> 00:07:43,501 Ha ha ha! 168 00:07:43,583 --> 00:07:45,133 You know what they say -- 169 00:07:45,208 --> 00:07:48,578 the sleepover never really begins 170 00:07:48,667 --> 00:07:50,247 till your host says, 171 00:07:50,333 --> 00:07:54,043 "lights out!" 172 00:07:54,458 --> 00:07:56,078 Ha ha ha! 173 00:07:56,166 --> 00:07:58,916 I think I may need my emergency underpants! 174 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,380 Hey, you're supposed to be the brave one! 175 00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:05,833 I-Ian? 176 00:08:05,917 --> 00:08:06,787 Ian? 177 00:08:06,875 --> 00:08:09,415 Oogah oogah oogah! Oogah oogah oogah! 178 00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:10,750 Wait a minute. 179 00:08:10,834 --> 00:08:13,584 That's supposed to be scary? That's just dumb. 180 00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:14,577 Oogah oogah. 181 00:08:14,667 --> 00:08:15,577 Really dumb. 182 00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,707 Yeah, well... 183 00:08:17,792 --> 00:08:20,332 Well, I bet you'd be freaked out 184 00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,497 if there was slimy bugs and snakes 185 00:08:22,583 --> 00:08:24,633 in the bottoms of your sleeping bags, right? 186 00:08:24,709 --> 00:08:26,289 Well, no. 187 00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:28,625 Now you've told us, it would just be lame. 188 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:31,499 All right, everybody out. 189 00:08:31,583 --> 00:08:36,333 Oh, man, it's my birthday, for cry-y-y... 190 00:08:36,417 --> 00:08:39,497 I just wanted to have some fun. 191 00:08:39,583 --> 00:08:41,133 Believe it or not, Ian, 192 00:08:41,208 --> 00:08:43,578 some of us are satisfied with the fun 193 00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:45,747 of cake, ice cream, and "pin the tail on the donkey." 194 00:08:45,834 --> 00:08:47,754 It's pleasant. It's comforting. 195 00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:50,504 It's our culture's accepted way 196 00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:52,173 of saying "happy birthday." 197 00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:54,290 Culture, shmulture. 198 00:08:54,375 --> 00:08:57,665 You sure you don't want to be locked in my closet 199 00:08:57,750 --> 00:09:00,170 with a fake bloody corpse? 200 00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:01,750 Ha ha ha! 201 00:09:01,834 --> 00:09:04,334 All right, then, let's call it a night. 202 00:09:04,417 --> 00:09:06,327 The sooner we go to sleep, 203 00:09:06,375 --> 00:09:09,705 the sooner we'll wake up to my mom's famous pancakes 204 00:09:09,792 --> 00:09:11,672 and warm maple syrup. 205 00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:13,580 Mmm! 206 00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:17,457 Gee, you two are so bourgeois! 207 00:09:19,834 --> 00:09:22,384 Ooh! Ooh! 208 00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:25,458 Ooh! Ooh! 209 00:09:25,542 --> 00:09:26,672 Ian. 210 00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:27,670 What? 211 00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:29,330 We told you to cut it out. 212 00:09:29,417 --> 00:09:31,707 It's not me. 213 00:09:31,792 --> 00:09:34,502 I-I swear on the head of my snake slimer. 214 00:09:34,583 --> 00:09:38,333 We are the voices of the ancient dead. 215 00:09:38,417 --> 00:09:40,707 You have disturbed our rest, 216 00:09:40,792 --> 00:09:43,712 and now you must pay! 217 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,672 Aah! 218 00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:47,420 Let's get out of here! 219 00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:51,040 Ohh! Unh. 220 00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:53,245 Okay, here we go. 221 00:09:53,333 --> 00:09:56,213 Ha ha ha! 222 00:09:56,333 --> 00:09:58,293 We really got you. 223 00:09:58,375 --> 00:10:01,495 Now, please join us in the kitchen 224 00:10:01,583 --> 00:10:03,633 for warm milk and cookies! 225 00:10:03,709 --> 00:10:05,329 Ha ha ha! 226 00:10:05,417 --> 00:10:08,247 You should have seen the look on your face! 227 00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:10,503 Oh ho, I wasn't scared. 228 00:10:10,583 --> 00:10:13,293 You're the one who was scared! 229 00:10:13,375 --> 00:10:16,575 Ha ha ha! It scared the pants off of me! 230 00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:18,287 Ha ha ha! 231 00:10:18,375 --> 00:10:20,035 Happy birthday, son. 232 00:10:20,125 --> 00:10:22,625 We wanted to give you something you'd really love. 233 00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:24,999 Oh, and I did! 234 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:27,463 Ha ha ha! 235 00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:31,500 Well, that was truly a night to remember. 236 00:10:31,583 --> 00:10:33,253 Yeah. It's funny -- I always thought 237 00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,383 sleeping over at anybody else's house -- 238 00:10:35,458 --> 00:10:38,458 especially Ian Wazaloseky's house -- 239 00:10:38,542 --> 00:10:40,632 would be scary, but it was also kind of cool, 240 00:10:40,709 --> 00:10:43,379 like we went through this huge thing and survived. 241 00:10:43,458 --> 00:10:44,578 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 242 00:10:44,667 --> 00:10:47,247 Don't be saying I'm cool and not scary! 243 00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:51,923 Come on! I have an image to protect. 244 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,960 I mean, if people start thinking I'm cool, it'll be all over. 245 00:10:55,041 --> 00:10:56,881 I'll be just like you guys. 246 00:10:56,959 --> 00:10:59,749 I might as well cut my bells off, you know? 247 00:10:59,834 --> 00:11:01,384 I'll tell you what, 248 00:11:01,458 --> 00:11:05,378 you two just keep quiet about me being cool, 249 00:11:05,458 --> 00:11:08,328 and I won't tell anyone you freaked out 250 00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:10,827 when you found cockroaches in your pants. 251 00:11:10,917 --> 00:11:14,377 What are you talking about? There were no cockroaches in our pants. 252 00:11:14,458 --> 00:11:15,748 Really? 253 00:11:15,834 --> 00:11:18,044 Look again! 254 00:11:18,125 --> 00:11:19,665 Aah! 255 00:11:19,667 --> 00:11:21,957 9-1-1! 256 00:11:22,041 --> 00:11:23,751 I got you guys! Ha ha ha! 257 00:11:40,458 --> 00:11:43,288 Leonard. 258 00:11:43,375 --> 00:11:45,535 Oh, Leonard. 259 00:11:45,625 --> 00:11:46,745 Huh? 260 00:11:46,834 --> 00:11:48,294 What? 261 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,455 Aah! 262 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,922 Aah! 263 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,630 Unh. 264 00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:58,463 Oh, Spot, take that thing off. 265 00:11:58,542 --> 00:12:00,922 And a festive all Hallow's Eve to you, too. 266 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,330 Oh, no! Is today Halloween? 267 00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:07,540 Is it ever, 268 00:12:07,625 --> 00:12:10,415 and my very first as a mischievous, fun-loving, 269 00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:12,580 all-American b-o-y. 270 00:12:12,667 --> 00:12:14,787 Check it out -- I've been practicing. 271 00:12:14,875 --> 00:12:16,705 Smell my feet 272 00:12:16,792 --> 00:12:18,632 Good to eat 273 00:12:18,709 --> 00:12:20,629 I don't care 274 00:12:20,709 --> 00:12:22,629 You know the rest. 275 00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:25,789 I'm not ready for this. 276 00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:27,955 Worry not. I'm ready for both of us. 277 00:12:28,041 --> 00:12:30,921 Fanfare. 278 00:12:34,166 --> 00:12:36,076 Presenting 279 00:12:36,166 --> 00:12:38,076 that famed Portuguese explorer 280 00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:41,576 Señor Ferdinand Magellan. 281 00:12:41,667 --> 00:12:44,707 Ha ha ha! 282 00:12:44,792 --> 00:12:47,542 Quien es más macho. 283 00:12:47,625 --> 00:12:50,705 Olé! Hasta la vista, baby. 284 00:12:50,792 --> 00:12:53,962 How very ethnically insensitive of you. 285 00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:56,541 I certainly hope you give Leonard's costume 286 00:12:56,625 --> 00:12:59,075 the respect it so rightfully deserves. 287 00:12:59,166 --> 00:13:01,746 I'm not wearing a costume this year. 288 00:13:01,834 --> 00:13:03,754 Not wearing a costume? 289 00:13:03,834 --> 00:13:05,754 Dios mío! 290 00:13:05,834 --> 00:13:07,964 Señor Leonardo, can this be true? 291 00:13:08,041 --> 00:13:11,081 Yes. And stop talking like that. 292 00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:12,536 It's the Castilian lisp 293 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,075 common to Portuguese nobleman of the 16th century. 294 00:13:15,166 --> 00:13:17,536 Well, it's not common to the talking dog 295 00:13:17,625 --> 00:13:19,785 of the 21st century, so stop it. 296 00:13:19,875 --> 00:13:22,955 Sorry. I'm just excited about my first Halloween. 297 00:13:23,041 --> 00:13:25,751 Yeah. I remember that feeling. 298 00:13:25,834 --> 00:13:27,384 That was before what happened 299 00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:29,378 last October 31st. 300 00:13:29,458 --> 00:13:31,378 I was so psyched 301 00:13:31,458 --> 00:13:33,748 to wear my Bing-bing the Friendly Alien costume, 302 00:13:33,834 --> 00:13:35,424 but then... 303 00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:38,420 What are you supposed to be, dufus? 304 00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:40,040 Me me am am Bing-bing. 305 00:13:40,125 --> 00:13:41,125 Aah! 306 00:13:41,208 --> 00:13:44,418 Well, now you're a bush-bush. Ha ha ha! 307 00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:46,330 Yeah, a bush-bush. 308 00:13:46,417 --> 00:13:49,997 And that's why I'll never dress for Halloween again. 309 00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,503 It's all so sad, 310 00:13:56,583 --> 00:13:58,253 so very, very sad. 311 00:13:58,333 --> 00:14:00,883 Oh, my goodness, I can't stop crying. 312 00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:06,292 Oh, great! Now look what you've done! 313 00:14:06,375 --> 00:14:08,705 He's gone and dehydrated himself! 314 00:14:08,792 --> 00:14:10,332 Drink up, baby. 315 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,497 You shouldn't get so involved. He's just a human. 316 00:14:12,583 --> 00:14:14,333 Aw, cheer up, Leonard. That was last year. 317 00:14:14,417 --> 00:14:16,537 You can't let some stupid bully 318 00:14:16,625 --> 00:14:18,575 ruin all your fun. 319 00:14:18,667 --> 00:14:20,707 But this is more than just a bully. 320 00:14:20,792 --> 00:14:22,382 This is Dutch Colenza. 321 00:14:22,458 --> 00:14:24,578 That kid's in a class by himself. 322 00:14:24,667 --> 00:14:25,957 Oh ho. Pish posh. 323 00:14:26,041 --> 00:14:29,631 I mean it. He's in a class by himself! 324 00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:35,293 Okay, he's a really scary stupid bully, 325 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,245 but he can't hurt you this year. 326 00:14:37,333 --> 00:14:38,633 You've got me. 327 00:14:38,709 --> 00:14:41,249 I will have your back, home slice. 328 00:14:41,333 --> 00:14:44,253 Boy, it doesn't sound quite right when I say it. 329 00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:48,333 Come on. You know you want to wear a costume. 330 00:14:48,333 --> 00:14:51,293 I can see it in your eyes, you little devil. 331 00:14:51,375 --> 00:14:53,875 Forget it, Spot. 332 00:14:55,458 --> 00:14:56,788 Vampire? Cowboy? Mummy? 333 00:14:56,875 --> 00:14:58,325 No. 334 00:14:58,417 --> 00:15:00,497 Come on, Lenny. Forget about Dutch. 335 00:15:00,583 --> 00:15:02,503 Express yourself. Be fearless. 336 00:15:02,583 --> 00:15:06,333 Make way for "the thing from under my desk"! 337 00:15:06,417 --> 00:15:07,707 Ha ha ha! 338 00:15:07,792 --> 00:15:09,752 Okay, maybe not that fearless. 339 00:15:09,834 --> 00:15:11,924 You go ahead and have a good time. 340 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,750 I'll just be happy to stay out of the Thorn bush. 341 00:15:15,834 --> 00:15:16,834 I'm not giving up on you. 342 00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:19,417 I vow I will bring the Halloween spirit 343 00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:21,210 back into your heart... 344 00:15:22,667 --> 00:15:25,577 Right after I lead the all-school costume parade. 345 00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:28,287 Scott, wait! Your cape is -- 346 00:15:30,333 --> 00:15:33,463 Hey! Todo El mundo! 347 00:15:33,542 --> 00:15:37,082 Get a load of Señor Ferdinand... 348 00:15:37,166 --> 00:15:39,666 The dog. 349 00:15:39,750 --> 00:15:40,710 Gulp! 350 00:15:40,792 --> 00:15:42,672 Great Caesar's ghost! 351 00:15:42,750 --> 00:15:44,330 It's a dog... 352 00:15:44,458 --> 00:15:45,668 Costume! 353 00:15:45,750 --> 00:15:48,290 And a very realistic dog costume, at that. 354 00:15:48,375 --> 00:15:50,075 Talullah's so convinced, 355 00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:52,206 she's driving her pincer-like claws 356 00:15:52,291 --> 00:15:54,131 into my carotid artery. 357 00:15:54,208 --> 00:15:56,288 Take it easy, sweetheart. 358 00:15:57,792 --> 00:15:59,752 It's only a costume! 359 00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:03,165 Spot, I-I -- you -- he -- he didn't? 360 00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:08,170 What can I say? He loves my dog costume! 361 00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:11,170 Let the parade begin! 362 00:16:20,667 --> 00:16:23,247 Now, what is it about that dog costume 363 00:16:23,333 --> 00:16:25,633 that's ringing such a bell in my brain? 364 00:16:25,709 --> 00:16:28,629 So I say, "this fake dog nose simply won't do." 365 00:16:28,709 --> 00:16:31,829 Oh, and did I mention it's made 366 00:16:31,917 --> 00:16:34,787 of genuine Patagonian fake dog fur? 367 00:16:34,875 --> 00:16:36,495 Cool costume! 368 00:16:36,625 --> 00:16:37,705 Yeah! It's da bomb! 369 00:16:37,792 --> 00:16:41,172 It's not so great. I saw the zipper. 370 00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:43,501 Class. Class. 371 00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:47,133 Okay, we'll have our super-fun Halloween blowout 372 00:16:47,208 --> 00:16:50,128 with yummy, non-fat, sugar-free, PTA-approved 373 00:16:50,208 --> 00:16:52,038 candy-substitute treats in a bit, 374 00:16:52,125 --> 00:16:54,245 but right now Mr. Clock says 375 00:16:54,333 --> 00:16:56,963 it's time to start our schoolwork. 376 00:16:57,041 --> 00:16:58,671 Hey, where is everybody? 377 00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:01,380 Oh, Scott, dear, you're a new student, 378 00:17:01,458 --> 00:17:03,418 so you probably weren't aware, 379 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,000 but every year 380 00:17:05,083 --> 00:17:07,003 when the Halloween parade is over, 381 00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:09,003 we all take off our costumes 382 00:17:09,083 --> 00:17:11,423 and hang them up in the coat closet. 383 00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:15,420 Take off our co-- co-- 384 00:17:15,542 --> 00:17:17,042 oh! 385 00:17:20,583 --> 00:17:22,583 Aah! 386 00:17:24,583 --> 00:17:25,463 Are you all right? 387 00:17:25,583 --> 00:17:28,463 Fine, fine. Sat on a tack. Ow. 388 00:17:28,542 --> 00:17:30,672 Me -- me too. A tack. Ow! 389 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,330 I'll take yours out, you take mine. 390 00:17:33,458 --> 00:17:35,128 We've got to get you out of here! 391 00:17:35,250 --> 00:17:36,750 Costume off, son. 392 00:17:39,208 --> 00:17:42,328 Take that costume off and get back in class! 393 00:17:42,417 --> 00:17:43,287 Aah! 394 00:17:43,375 --> 00:17:45,535 Hey, parade's over, kid. 395 00:17:45,625 --> 00:17:48,165 Why ain't you out of your costume yet? 396 00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:51,330 Does the whole world know 397 00:17:51,417 --> 00:17:54,247 about this "taking off your costume" jazz but me? 398 00:17:54,333 --> 00:17:56,463 Come on. 399 00:17:56,583 --> 00:17:57,883 Wh--where are we? 400 00:17:57,959 --> 00:18:00,249 They're all going to find me out now. 401 00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:03,083 I could just kiss my school career bye-bye. 402 00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:04,416 Nice going, Leonard. 403 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,040 Me? You're the one 404 00:18:06,125 --> 00:18:08,165 who didn't wear clothes under your costume. 405 00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:09,830 Hello! 406 00:18:09,917 --> 00:18:12,827 I just started going to this school last month, 407 00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:15,667 Mr. "I'm still so afraid of some bush trauma 408 00:18:15,792 --> 00:18:18,582 from a year ago I forgot to tell my dog 409 00:18:18,667 --> 00:18:21,077 something very, very important"! 410 00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:22,916 I did tell you something important! 411 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,040 I told you not to dress up in the first place. 412 00:18:25,166 --> 00:18:26,956 I told you it's nothing but trouble. 413 00:18:27,041 --> 00:18:28,501 This is all your fault. 414 00:18:28,625 --> 00:18:32,205 And then I says, "you may know buffer machines, 415 00:18:32,875 --> 00:18:36,075 but you can't scrape gum off the floor for nothing!" 416 00:18:36,166 --> 00:18:39,126 Wow. Wish I'd been there. 417 00:18:39,208 --> 00:18:41,288 Let me tell you about the maintenance men. 418 00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:43,785 They are different from you and me. 419 00:18:43,875 --> 00:18:46,415 Custodian to room 14 with a mop. 420 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,380 Oh, for crying out tears. 421 00:18:48,458 --> 00:18:51,208 There goes that Wazaloseky kid again. 422 00:18:51,333 --> 00:18:52,293 What do they feed him? 423 00:18:52,375 --> 00:18:54,915 At least he takes off his costume 424 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,540 when you tell him to. 425 00:18:56,667 --> 00:18:59,167 Ha ha ha! Oh, yeah, costume! 426 00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:01,830 I'm sorry I got you into this mess. 427 00:19:01,917 --> 00:19:03,707 Well, I'm glad you finally -- 428 00:19:03,792 --> 00:19:07,292 but I'm not sorry I dressed for Halloween. 429 00:19:07,375 --> 00:19:10,035 If my school career is going to end today, 430 00:19:10,125 --> 00:19:13,075 then I'm glad I went out having the time of my life! 431 00:19:13,166 --> 00:19:15,666 No sense dwelling on what might have been. 432 00:19:15,750 --> 00:19:18,790 I'm a dog. I can't take off my costume. 433 00:19:18,875 --> 00:19:20,955 I'll just turn myself in, 434 00:19:21,041 --> 00:19:23,291 and then I'll go home... 435 00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:25,455 Forever. 436 00:19:25,542 --> 00:19:26,962 Here. Take my clothes. 437 00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:28,421 Take your -- 438 00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,170 take them. Go back and join the party. 439 00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:33,880 Stay in school. You deserve it. 440 00:19:33,959 --> 00:19:35,749 But what about you? 441 00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:38,325 I'll just hang out here. No one will miss me. 442 00:19:38,417 --> 00:19:40,997 I've barely been here today anyway. 443 00:19:41,083 --> 00:19:42,423 Go. Enjoy yourself. 444 00:19:48,083 --> 00:19:50,043 I'll never forget this, Leonard. 445 00:19:50,125 --> 00:19:53,415 You are a boy of unparalleled integrity 446 00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:55,040 and dignity. 447 00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:57,250 Thank you. 448 00:19:59,375 --> 00:20:03,375 Low-fat, artificial, sugar-free substitute treats, 449 00:20:03,458 --> 00:20:05,668 look out! Ooh! 450 00:20:05,750 --> 00:20:07,920 What's your problem, dufus? 451 00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:10,211 Oh, no problem, just a non-threatening boy 452 00:20:10,291 --> 00:20:13,291 who doesn't want any trouble on his way to class. 453 00:20:13,375 --> 00:20:15,825 Well, here. Let me give you a lift. 454 00:20:15,917 --> 00:20:17,377 Ow! 455 00:20:17,458 --> 00:20:19,668 Ooh! That is thorny! 456 00:20:19,750 --> 00:20:21,880 Wait till I pants you. 457 00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:23,879 Then you'll see what thorny is. 458 00:20:23,959 --> 00:20:26,129 Hey, he can't do that to my friend. 459 00:20:28,125 --> 00:20:29,495 Ohh! 460 00:20:31,125 --> 00:20:32,415 You leave him alone! 461 00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:35,130 What are you supposed to be for Halloween, dufus? 462 00:20:35,208 --> 00:20:37,128 I am not a dufus, 463 00:20:37,208 --> 00:20:39,288 and I'm not supposed to be anything. 464 00:20:39,375 --> 00:20:40,955 Whoa! Look at me! 465 00:20:41,083 --> 00:20:43,003 I'm "the monster 466 00:20:43,083 --> 00:20:45,293 from beyond the janitor's closet"! 467 00:20:45,375 --> 00:20:48,285 And I don't care if you throw me in a bush, 468 00:20:48,375 --> 00:20:50,625 I'm wearing a costume, and I like it! 469 00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:53,079 It takes more courage to express yourself 470 00:20:53,166 --> 00:20:55,076 and do what makes you happy 471 00:20:55,166 --> 00:20:57,536 than to hide from a big bully like you! 472 00:20:57,625 --> 00:20:59,995 You go, Leonard! Ow! Thorn! 473 00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:09,210 I used to love Halloween, too! 474 00:21:09,291 --> 00:21:10,881 Really? 475 00:21:10,959 --> 00:21:13,709 It was second grade. 476 00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:18,455 I was so happy. 477 00:21:18,542 --> 00:21:20,082 Ha ha ha! 478 00:21:20,166 --> 00:21:22,996 I just wanted to look like my favorite disco king. 479 00:21:23,542 --> 00:21:25,882 Was that so wrong? 480 00:21:25,959 --> 00:21:28,879 You've been in grade school an awfully long time, 481 00:21:28,959 --> 00:21:30,419 haven't you? 482 00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:34,710 Uh-huh, and holidays hurt the worst. 483 00:21:34,792 --> 00:21:37,132 Ow! Tell me about it. 484 00:21:37,208 --> 00:21:39,378 Say, I've got an idea. 485 00:21:41,208 --> 00:21:43,288 Smell my feet 486 00:21:44,875 --> 00:21:46,785 I don't care 487 00:21:49,250 --> 00:21:51,710 Ha ha ha! 488 00:21:51,792 --> 00:21:54,832 You know, he really makes it work.