1 00:00:00,333 --> 00:00:01,883 Of the leash 2 00:00:01,959 --> 00:00:04,329 - 3 00:00:08,583 --> 00:00:10,133 - 4 00:00:10,208 --> 00:00:11,788 For a pair of pants 5 00:00:11,875 --> 00:00:14,205 His favorite pastime 6 00:00:16,709 --> 00:00:18,039 - 7 00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:31,000 Why can't I be a normal kid like any other? 8 00:00:31,083 --> 00:00:33,083 Now, doodle bug, listen to mother. 9 00:00:35,208 --> 00:00:36,788 I hate dogs. 10 00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,503 I do not wish to be a dog. 11 00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:53,331 Yes! 12 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,630 I've got a surprise for someone, 13 00:01:20,709 --> 00:01:23,999 and it's going to make him look extra-specially handsome. 14 00:01:24,083 --> 00:01:25,083 Ha ha ha! 15 00:01:25,166 --> 00:01:26,496 Not me! 16 00:01:26,583 --> 00:01:28,923 Oh, please, not me! 17 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,880 I'll give her such a peck if it's me. 18 00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:33,499 Oh, Mr. Jolly. 19 00:01:33,583 --> 00:01:36,583 Uh-oh. I'm going to the vet! 20 00:01:36,667 --> 00:01:37,917 Quick! Hide! 21 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,830 Where to go? 22 00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:44,830 Sanctuary! 23 00:01:48,750 --> 00:01:49,670 Mew. 24 00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:51,330 Oh, don't be scared, boo-boo. 25 00:01:51,417 --> 00:01:53,917 Mama just wants to give you a goody. 26 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,830 Oh! Ha ha ha! 27 00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:59,707 All the most stylish kitties are wearing them. 28 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:05,915 Ha ha ha! 29 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,580 Hear that, guys? I'm stylish. 30 00:02:08,667 --> 00:02:10,497 Yeah, well, you still smell like a tuna boat. 31 00:02:10,583 --> 00:02:12,463 Hush. I'm modeling. 32 00:02:12,542 --> 00:02:15,752 Don't despise me because I'm beautiful. 33 00:02:15,834 --> 00:02:17,334 Suffer. 34 00:02:19,041 --> 00:02:20,331 What's that noise? 35 00:02:20,417 --> 00:02:21,327 That's you. 36 00:02:21,417 --> 00:02:23,207 No, that ringing noise. 37 00:02:23,291 --> 00:02:26,251 That awful, incessant, jingle-jangle jingling. 38 00:02:26,333 --> 00:02:27,713 -That's you. -Stop saying that. 39 00:02:27,792 --> 00:02:29,542 Well, not you, per se. 40 00:02:29,625 --> 00:02:31,955 I was speaking metonymically, 41 00:02:32,041 --> 00:02:34,041 whereby something closely associated with you 42 00:02:34,125 --> 00:02:36,375 comes to represent you-- 43 00:02:36,458 --> 00:02:38,328 to wit, the bell. 44 00:02:39,959 --> 00:02:41,879 Aah! 45 00:02:43,333 --> 00:02:45,833 It's driving me crazy! Somebody get the phone! 46 00:02:45,917 --> 00:02:47,707 Hello? Aah! 47 00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:50,292 Somebody get the door. That's it. Who's there? 48 00:02:50,375 --> 00:02:51,495 Aah! 49 00:02:51,583 --> 00:02:53,503 It can't be me! It just can't be me! 50 00:02:53,583 --> 00:02:55,583 Get it! Make it stop! 51 00:03:02,875 --> 00:03:03,955 Aah! 52 00:03:05,041 --> 00:03:06,631 Oh, I'm sorry. Does this bother anyone? 53 00:03:09,041 --> 00:03:10,791 Aah! 54 00:03:10,875 --> 00:03:12,825 I can't take it anymore! 55 00:03:15,583 --> 00:03:18,503 It's okay, Mr. Jolly. That was really the doorbell. 56 00:03:18,583 --> 00:03:20,503 Hi, Leslie. 57 00:03:20,583 --> 00:03:23,463 Hi, Leonard. My mom wanted to borrow a cup of milk. 58 00:03:23,542 --> 00:03:26,332 Oh, I'm sorry. You're still in your-- 59 00:03:26,417 --> 00:03:28,287 Pajamas! 60 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,375 Change quick. I'll cover for you. 61 00:03:32,041 --> 00:03:34,131 Oh, hi, Spot! Who's a good boy? 62 00:03:34,208 --> 00:03:38,168 Who's a good, good boy? Who's a good little boy? 63 00:03:40,583 --> 00:03:44,083 Okay, Leslie, now I'm ready to pour you a little milk. 64 00:03:48,709 --> 00:03:52,459 Here you go, and, uh, keep the cup. 65 00:03:52,542 --> 00:03:53,792 Thanks, Leonard. 66 00:03:53,875 --> 00:03:56,125 Bye, Spot! 67 00:03:59,041 --> 00:04:01,881 By the way, Leonard, nice cowboys. 68 00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:07,003 That was so not cool. 69 00:04:07,083 --> 00:04:09,963 You can stop now. She's gone. 70 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:11,711 It's not Leslie. 71 00:04:11,792 --> 00:04:14,382 It's whatever the heck she smeared on her lips. 72 00:04:14,458 --> 00:04:16,208 Very lemonade-y, 73 00:04:16,291 --> 00:04:18,291 with just a hint o' mint. 74 00:04:20,875 --> 00:04:22,745 There's Tyler, Taylor, and Trevor. 75 00:04:22,834 --> 00:04:25,834 I bet none of the girls ever saw them in their cowboy pajamas. 76 00:04:26,792 --> 00:04:29,082 Bet they don't even have cowboy pajamas. 77 00:04:29,792 --> 00:04:31,962 Wonder what kind of pajamas cool guys wear. 78 00:04:32,083 --> 00:04:33,333 Let's ask. 79 00:04:33,417 --> 00:04:35,207 No, wait. That wouldn't be cool. 80 00:04:35,291 --> 00:04:37,751 You wear cowboy pajamas. What do you care? 81 00:04:37,834 --> 00:04:40,254 I just don't know how to hang with those guys. 82 00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:42,003 I'm the teacher's kid, 83 00:04:42,083 --> 00:04:44,333 so they don't want to say anything around me, 84 00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:46,627 then I don't know what to say, 85 00:04:46,709 --> 00:04:48,499 then they ignore me. I end up feeling like a dork. 86 00:04:48,583 --> 00:04:50,043 You worry too much. 87 00:04:50,125 --> 00:04:51,995 Just join in whatever they're talking about. 88 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,923 You can do it. You're a bright, clever boy. 89 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,040 Hey, dudes! 90 00:04:57,125 --> 00:04:58,915 -Hey, dudes. -Hey. 91 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,130 -Hey. -Hey. 92 00:05:00,208 --> 00:05:02,248 Hey. 93 00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:03,883 Hey. 94 00:05:03,959 --> 00:05:06,919 Hey. 95 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,960 Did you see Leslie Dunkling today? 96 00:05:10,041 --> 00:05:12,961 Yeah. Her lips are, like, way shiny. 97 00:05:13,083 --> 00:05:14,963 Bet she had bacon for breakfast. 98 00:05:15,041 --> 00:05:17,461 Actually, it's pink-lemonade lip gloss. 99 00:05:17,542 --> 00:05:19,422 It tastes like the real thing, 100 00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:21,380 with just a hint o' mint. 101 00:05:24,208 --> 00:05:25,378 Whoa! 102 00:05:25,458 --> 00:05:27,578 What? 103 00:05:27,667 --> 00:05:29,377 What? 104 00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:33,000 Why did you lie about kissing me? 105 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:34,753 I didn't, Leslie, honest. 106 00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:37,884 I used to think you were the nicest boy, 107 00:05:37,959 --> 00:05:40,879 but now I don't think I can talk to you again. 108 00:05:40,959 --> 00:05:43,709 I guess guys who wear cowboy pajamas 109 00:05:43,792 --> 00:05:45,462 shouldn't try and be cool. 110 00:05:45,542 --> 00:05:47,712 Leonard kissed Leslie on the lips. 111 00:05:47,792 --> 00:05:51,462 Leonard kicked Leslie on the hips. 112 00:05:51,542 --> 00:05:53,292 Leonard called Leslie a hippo, 113 00:05:53,375 --> 00:05:54,955 and she gave him three flips. 114 00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:00,830 Leonard killed Leslie's hippo 115 00:06:00,917 --> 00:06:02,667 with three paper clips. 116 00:06:02,750 --> 00:06:05,960 Duh. Clean your ears, wazaloseky. 117 00:06:06,041 --> 00:06:08,381 Leonard kissed Leslie on the lips. 118 00:06:11,667 --> 00:06:14,577 Hey! There's that quarter I was looking for! 119 00:06:16,917 --> 00:06:20,077 Cleaning my ears was a really good idea! 120 00:06:20,166 --> 00:06:21,166 Ha ha ha! 121 00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:24,080 Oh, come on, pal. Cheer up. 122 00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,996 This is just one of those fourth-grade things 123 00:06:26,083 --> 00:06:27,583 that happens to-- 124 00:06:27,667 --> 00:06:29,037 say, are you going to finish 125 00:06:29,125 --> 00:06:32,455 those teriyaki pork dippers? 'Cause, uh, 126 00:06:32,542 --> 00:06:33,962 if you're not... 127 00:06:34,041 --> 00:06:35,751 Come to papa! 128 00:06:37,333 --> 00:06:39,543 Anyway, like I was saying, 129 00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:41,995 by the end of lunch recess, 130 00:06:42,083 --> 00:06:44,713 it will have all blown over. 131 00:06:44,792 --> 00:06:47,292 This is, in the words of William Shakespeare, 132 00:06:47,375 --> 00:06:50,745 the immortal bard of avon, "much ado about nothing." 133 00:06:50,834 --> 00:06:52,714 Cute play, by the way. 134 00:06:52,792 --> 00:06:54,832 No "Hamlet," tragic prince of Denmark, 135 00:06:54,917 --> 00:06:56,077 but then, what is? 136 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,876 But I digress. Don't worry about the Leslie rumor. 137 00:06:58,959 --> 00:07:01,749 I'll bet you everyone's forgotten it already. 138 00:07:01,834 --> 00:07:02,884 Mr. Helperman, 139 00:07:02,959 --> 00:07:05,459 please join me in my office 140 00:07:05,542 --> 00:07:07,752 to discuss a certain rumor. 141 00:07:07,834 --> 00:07:09,464 Now! 142 00:07:09,542 --> 00:07:11,082 Huh. What do you know? 143 00:07:11,166 --> 00:07:13,036 Second time today I've been wrong. 144 00:07:18,875 --> 00:07:21,125 A teacher's son! 145 00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:23,788 What did I do wrong? 146 00:07:23,875 --> 00:07:27,165 Where did I fail him? 147 00:07:28,208 --> 00:07:29,878 Don't blame yourself, ma. 148 00:07:29,959 --> 00:07:31,079 Raising kids 149 00:07:31,166 --> 00:07:33,376 is the hardest thing a woman can do. 150 00:07:33,458 --> 00:07:36,958 Even the best young'un sometimes hits a little bump in the road, 151 00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:39,381 but it's no reflection on you'un. 152 00:07:39,458 --> 00:07:41,878 You did the best you could. 153 00:07:41,959 --> 00:07:43,249 Thank you. 154 00:07:43,333 --> 00:07:44,673 That helps. 155 00:07:44,750 --> 00:07:47,080 Just doing my job, ma'am. 156 00:07:49,375 --> 00:07:51,915 Are you comfortable, son? 157 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,710 Goodness knows 158 00:07:53,792 --> 00:07:56,082 I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, 159 00:07:56,166 --> 00:07:59,076 like you made that poor, sweet Leslie Dunkling feel 160 00:07:59,166 --> 00:08:01,206 when you started your vicious, 161 00:08:01,291 --> 00:08:03,831 ugly little kissy-poo rumor! 162 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:05,627 Well, look, I've upset you. 163 00:08:05,709 --> 00:08:08,289 That's the last thing I want to do. 164 00:08:08,375 --> 00:08:09,955 Can I get you something to drink, 165 00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:12,081 a cup of water 166 00:08:12,166 --> 00:08:14,876 or pink lemonade? 167 00:08:14,959 --> 00:08:18,919 Now I just want to ask you a few simple questions 168 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,170 before I expel your sorry carcass 169 00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:26,330 and send you up the river to the school for losers! 170 00:08:33,333 --> 00:08:34,633 Ahem. 171 00:08:34,709 --> 00:08:37,039 Is Mr. Helperman being formally charged 172 00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:38,825 with the breaking of a school regulation? 173 00:08:38,917 --> 00:08:40,577 What are you-- his lawyer? 174 00:08:40,667 --> 00:08:45,287 Let's just say I'm a concerned friend of truth and justice in America today, 175 00:08:45,375 --> 00:08:47,495 and as such, I need to know-- 176 00:08:47,583 --> 00:08:50,463 what is Leonard Helperman being charged with, 177 00:08:50,542 --> 00:08:52,922 who is making the charge, 178 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:58,080 and where is the evidence to substantiate said accusation? 179 00:08:58,166 --> 00:09:00,166 I'm crazy about those lawyer shows. 180 00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:01,460 The girls are kind of skinny, 181 00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:03,382 but you got to love the dialogue. 182 00:09:03,458 --> 00:09:04,748 Kissing rumor, kissing rumor. 183 00:09:04,834 --> 00:09:07,044 I know there's a rule against it. 184 00:09:07,125 --> 00:09:08,705 But I never said I kissed her! 185 00:09:08,792 --> 00:09:11,132 Zip it, Leonard. Don't dig yourself in any deeper. 186 00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:14,540 All I said was her lip gloss tasted like lemonade. 187 00:09:14,625 --> 00:09:15,825 Deeper. 188 00:09:15,917 --> 00:09:18,037 Well, how else could you possibly know that? 189 00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:20,245 Unless, of course, you happen to be 190 00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:22,463 one of the countless people-- like me-- 191 00:09:22,542 --> 00:09:24,212 who suffers from chronic chapped lips... 192 00:09:25,959 --> 00:09:27,249 Go on. 193 00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:30,673 And your mom happened to run out of this stuff 194 00:09:30,750 --> 00:09:32,420 and had to resort to using 195 00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:34,330 her own pink-lemonade flavored lip gloss on you... 196 00:09:34,417 --> 00:09:36,077 Go on. 197 00:09:36,166 --> 00:09:39,326 In which case you'd be able to prove your innocence 198 00:09:39,417 --> 00:09:41,957 by showing up here at 9:00 A.M. sharp tomorrow 199 00:09:42,041 --> 00:09:43,631 with said lip gloss in hand. 200 00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:44,789 And if he doesn't? 201 00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:48,075 Hello, school for losers? 202 00:09:48,166 --> 00:09:50,996 Reservation for one, please. 203 00:09:51,083 --> 00:09:52,173 I object. 204 00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:55,170 Make that a table for two. 205 00:09:55,250 --> 00:09:58,130 I respectfully withdraw my objection, your honor. 206 00:09:58,208 --> 00:10:02,418 Ha ha ha ha! 207 00:10:02,959 --> 00:10:04,459 Did you hear? 208 00:10:04,542 --> 00:10:06,582 Leonard wore his mom's lip gloss. 209 00:10:06,667 --> 00:10:07,917 Did you hear? 210 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,920 Leonard tore his mom's lips off. 211 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,830 These Leonard rumors must stop! 212 00:10:15,917 --> 00:10:19,377 Did you hear? Leonard is roommates with a cop! 213 00:10:19,458 --> 00:10:22,168 Clean your ears, Ian. 214 00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:30,828 Hey, wow. A half dollar. My head is a bank! 215 00:10:30,917 --> 00:10:35,417 Rumors, gossip, speculation. None of you knows the truth. 216 00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:36,960 I know Ruth, 217 00:10:37,041 --> 00:10:39,001 and I hope that one day 218 00:10:39,083 --> 00:10:43,793 she'll be Mrs. Ian Wazaloseky. 219 00:10:43,875 --> 00:10:47,035 Ick! Oh, I'm so totally embarrassed. 220 00:10:47,125 --> 00:10:49,325 Thanks a lot, Scott. 221 00:10:49,417 --> 00:10:50,997 That's what I'm talking about. 222 00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:53,043 Just 'cause you hear something 223 00:10:53,125 --> 00:10:54,665 doesn't mean it's true. 224 00:10:54,750 --> 00:10:56,630 You know, our 16th president's wife-- 225 00:10:56,709 --> 00:10:57,999 Mrs. Mary Todd Lincoln-- 226 00:10:58,083 --> 00:11:00,173 was rumored to have been a confederate spy. 227 00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:03,040 Mary is a spy, Mary is a spy. 228 00:11:03,125 --> 00:11:05,415 Mary Lincoln is a rebel lover. 229 00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:07,420 It was completely unfounded gossip, 230 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,000 but it caused pain 231 00:11:09,083 --> 00:11:12,253 to one of history's greatest presidents... 232 00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:13,213 This guy? 233 00:11:13,291 --> 00:11:15,041 Yes, Ian. 234 00:11:15,125 --> 00:11:17,915 And widened the rift between brother and brother 235 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,710 in the north and the south, 236 00:11:19,792 --> 00:11:21,132 which is to say 237 00:11:21,208 --> 00:11:25,578 no one kissed Leslie dunkling on the lips! 238 00:11:25,667 --> 00:11:28,077 She's a nice girl with nice lip gloss. 239 00:11:28,166 --> 00:11:30,126 Let's leave it at that. 240 00:11:31,834 --> 00:11:33,134 Not one word. 241 00:11:33,208 --> 00:11:35,128 I was just going to ask 242 00:11:35,208 --> 00:11:37,878 if you'd be my best man at the wedding. 243 00:11:37,959 --> 00:11:41,629 Ruthie and I would love a toast like that 244 00:11:41,709 --> 00:11:43,879 at the reception, huh, honey? 245 00:11:43,959 --> 00:11:46,079 Aah! 246 00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:50,959 Thank you for defending me, Scott. 247 00:11:51,041 --> 00:11:53,921 Now I think you're the nicest boy in class. 248 00:11:55,625 --> 00:11:56,955 -Oh. -Ha ha. 249 00:11:57,041 --> 00:11:59,581 Honest-- that wasn't what I was going for. 250 00:11:59,667 --> 00:12:01,037 Come on. 251 00:12:01,125 --> 00:12:03,705 We've got to go find ourselves that lipstick. 252 00:12:03,792 --> 00:12:06,082 Why do you need to find a dipstick? 253 00:12:06,166 --> 00:12:10,126 No, see, he-- we-- 254 00:12:10,208 --> 00:12:12,748 Oh, we just do. 255 00:12:27,750 --> 00:12:31,210 Cherry, mango, peach... Kiwi? 256 00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:32,881 Ugh! 257 00:12:32,959 --> 00:12:35,209 My mom's got every lip gloss in the world 258 00:12:35,291 --> 00:12:37,751 but pink lemonade with just a hint o' mint. 259 00:12:37,834 --> 00:12:39,134 Poor pathetic humans. 260 00:12:39,208 --> 00:12:40,748 When we birds 261 00:12:40,834 --> 00:12:43,794 want a part of our body to be shiny and attractive, 262 00:12:43,875 --> 00:12:45,575 we just secrete something... 263 00:12:46,709 --> 00:12:50,709 And voilà! Hot-chattattee-cha! 264 00:12:50,792 --> 00:12:53,832 Hey, Jolly, how do I look, baby? 265 00:12:53,917 --> 00:12:57,327 I can't turn my head to see. 266 00:12:58,667 --> 00:13:00,577 It'll make that sound again. 267 00:13:00,667 --> 00:13:02,877 Oh, the bells, bells, bells, 268 00:13:02,959 --> 00:13:05,789 bells, bells, bells, bells, bells. 269 00:13:07,041 --> 00:13:08,751 You got to do something about this guy. 270 00:13:08,834 --> 00:13:11,004 He's 10 times more depressing than usual. 271 00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:13,333 Later. We've got to find a pink-lemonade lip gloss 272 00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:16,327 with just a hint o' mint by 9:00 A.M. tomorrow, 273 00:13:16,417 --> 00:13:17,627 or Leonard is toast. 274 00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:20,919 I wonder what it would be like to live in a normal house. 275 00:13:23,959 --> 00:13:27,079 How are we even going to pay for this anyway? 276 00:13:27,166 --> 00:13:28,666 I don't have any money. 277 00:13:28,750 --> 00:13:31,170 No problem. Ian loaned me a couple of bucks. 278 00:13:31,250 --> 00:13:34,210 -Ew! -Ew! 279 00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:36,461 Promise you'll give me a bath when we get home tonight. 280 00:13:36,542 --> 00:13:39,002 May I help you, boys? 281 00:13:39,083 --> 00:13:41,173 One pink-lemonade lip gloss 282 00:13:41,250 --> 00:13:43,500 with just a hint o' mint, please. 283 00:13:43,583 --> 00:13:45,503 Sorry. I sold my last one 284 00:13:45,583 --> 00:13:48,133 to that cute little Leslie Dunkling just yesterday, 285 00:13:48,208 --> 00:13:51,168 and I won't be getting a new shipment till sometime... 286 00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:56,167 After 9:00 A.M. tomorrow morning. 287 00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:57,670 I'm toast. 288 00:13:57,750 --> 00:14:00,290 No, you're not. 289 00:14:00,375 --> 00:14:02,375 Not while I've got breath in my body, 290 00:14:02,458 --> 00:14:04,288 ideas in my head, 291 00:14:04,375 --> 00:14:06,035 and a fist full of quarters. 292 00:14:06,125 --> 00:14:08,915 -Ew. -Ew. 293 00:14:14,083 --> 00:14:17,713 We got your pink. We got your lemons. 294 00:14:17,792 --> 00:14:19,002 We got your gloss. 295 00:14:19,083 --> 00:14:21,293 Ooh, wait. Is floor Polish toxic? 296 00:14:21,375 --> 00:14:23,535 "Not to be taken internally." 297 00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:26,825 Bye-bye to you. 298 00:14:26,917 --> 00:14:29,207 Ahh, a little oil de la veggie. 299 00:14:29,291 --> 00:14:32,171 That should do the trick. We got your gloss, 300 00:14:32,250 --> 00:14:35,130 and, finally, la pièce de résistance... 301 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,749 The hint o' mint. 302 00:14:46,667 --> 00:14:48,667 I love the supermarket. 303 00:14:48,750 --> 00:14:51,130 Come on. We got to get this done. 304 00:14:51,208 --> 00:14:52,458 Don't make such a big deal out of everything. 305 00:14:52,542 --> 00:14:55,172 Easy for you to say. You come here every week. 306 00:14:55,250 --> 00:14:56,790 This is my first venture into... 307 00:14:56,875 --> 00:14:59,915 Aisle 4-b-- cereal, cookies, cake mix. 308 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,080 Buy two, get one free. 309 00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:05,576 Oh, my stars and garters. 310 00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:08,577 Have you ever seen so much kibble in your life? 311 00:15:08,667 --> 00:15:12,577 Could we please just go check out? 312 00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:20,249 How many lemons make lemonade-y? 313 00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:22,503 Got me. How much mint in a hint? 314 00:15:22,583 --> 00:15:24,293 Well, any great chef will tell you-- 315 00:15:24,375 --> 00:15:26,125 cooking isn't a science. It's an art. 316 00:15:29,333 --> 00:15:31,333 Please, monseigneur, please, 317 00:15:31,417 --> 00:15:33,957 let me ring the bell just once! 318 00:15:34,041 --> 00:15:37,791 I must ring the bell. It's my job! 319 00:15:37,875 --> 00:15:40,745 That's not funny. It's just mean. 320 00:15:40,834 --> 00:15:45,964 I haven't cracked up this much since I was inside the egg. 321 00:15:52,583 --> 00:15:53,963 That wasn't me. 322 00:15:55,667 --> 00:15:56,747 That was me. 323 00:15:56,834 --> 00:15:58,754 Oh, oh, oh. 324 00:15:58,834 --> 00:16:00,794 There she is looking good, 325 00:16:00,875 --> 00:16:03,995 and we'll just take a little taste. 326 00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:09,173 Yuck! 327 00:16:09,291 --> 00:16:12,331 Not lemonade-y with just a hint o' mint? 328 00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:15,130 It's a hint o' something, all right, 329 00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:17,498 but I can't say what out loud. 330 00:16:17,583 --> 00:16:20,253 Oh, well. 331 00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:22,923 We couldn't find it, we couldn't buy it, 332 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,580 and we couldn't make it. 333 00:16:24,709 --> 00:16:27,959 I guess I'll just have to go to the school for losers. 334 00:16:39,083 --> 00:16:40,633 I can't let you do it, pal. 335 00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:43,669 Somehow, some way, somewhere, 336 00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:46,830 we've got to get our hands on a pink-lemonade lip gloss, 337 00:16:46,917 --> 00:16:48,577 just like the little girl next door's. 338 00:16:48,667 --> 00:16:52,497 Hey, wait a minute. 339 00:16:52,583 --> 00:16:55,923 Oh, no. No, no, no. 340 00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:00,040 Life is not fair. 341 00:17:00,125 --> 00:17:03,785 I'm sneaking out to find a gloss to prove a lie I didn't tell 342 00:17:03,917 --> 00:17:06,207 to stop a rumor I didn't start. 343 00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:07,673 And we all live in the house that Jack built. 344 00:17:07,750 --> 00:17:08,630 What? 345 00:17:08,709 --> 00:17:10,629 You should've paid more attention in preschool. 346 00:17:11,291 --> 00:17:12,501 Come on. 347 00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:16,790 We're just going to see 348 00:17:16,875 --> 00:17:18,785 if we can borrow Leslie's lip gloss 349 00:17:18,875 --> 00:17:20,165 till 9:00 A.M. tomorrow. 350 00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:24,834 Once you're cleared of the lie you didn't tell 351 00:17:24,917 --> 00:17:26,207 to stop the rumor you didn't start-- 352 00:17:26,291 --> 00:17:27,631 et cetera, et cetera-- 353 00:17:27,709 --> 00:17:29,249 we'll simply climb back up and return it. 354 00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:30,833 No harm, no foul. 355 00:17:37,291 --> 00:17:39,171 Eureka! I have found it! 356 00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:41,540 Think quick-- what ancient Greek coined that phrase? 357 00:17:43,166 --> 00:17:45,996 Archimedes. Got to be a little quicker, Leonard. 358 00:17:46,125 --> 00:17:48,125 Although, properly speaking, I should've either said 359 00:17:48,208 --> 00:17:50,128 "Eureka" or "I have found it," 360 00:17:50,208 --> 00:17:51,918 since they both mean the same-- 361 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,040 just go get it! 362 00:17:53,125 --> 00:17:54,625 All right, all right. 363 00:17:54,709 --> 00:17:56,879 I think I can reach-- 364 00:17:56,959 --> 00:17:58,039 Aah! 365 00:17:58,125 --> 00:18:00,575 Oh! Ugh! 366 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,080 So... this is a girl's room. 367 00:18:12,375 --> 00:18:14,825 Sugar and spice. Nice. 368 00:18:17,125 --> 00:18:18,745 Uh-oh. 369 00:18:23,333 --> 00:18:25,383 What are you doing here? 370 00:18:35,959 --> 00:18:41,079 That is one quick-witted dog. 371 00:18:41,208 --> 00:18:42,418 You silly boy. 372 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:45,040 We have to get you back to your house, 373 00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:47,375 but first-- give me a big doggy kiss. 374 00:18:47,458 --> 00:18:49,998 Isn't this what got us here 375 00:18:50,083 --> 00:18:51,383 in the first place? 376 00:18:51,458 --> 00:18:54,378 Mmm. Coconut cream. 377 00:18:57,458 --> 00:18:59,328 Hmm. Ha ha ha ha. 378 00:19:01,291 --> 00:19:05,421 Ding. Everywhere I go I ding. 379 00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:08,380 I can't eat. I can't sleep. 380 00:19:08,458 --> 00:19:11,748 All I can do is... ding! 381 00:19:11,875 --> 00:19:13,245 Okay, 382 00:19:13,375 --> 00:19:16,165 this bell thing was good for a couple of laughs, 383 00:19:16,291 --> 00:19:18,421 but now it's just getting on my nerves! 384 00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:29,208 There. Happy? 385 00:19:29,291 --> 00:19:31,211 Oh, thank you, Pretty Boy. 386 00:19:31,291 --> 00:19:36,041 Ahh, ahh, ahh. 387 00:19:36,166 --> 00:19:39,206 Oh. 388 00:19:40,291 --> 00:19:41,581 What's the matter now? 389 00:19:41,709 --> 00:19:44,669 It's too quiet. I miss my bell. 390 00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:46,712 Oy. 391 00:19:59,792 --> 00:20:02,292 Cats. Next time leave them off the ark! 392 00:20:04,667 --> 00:20:08,077 Gee, Leslie, I can't imagine how the heck he got up there, 393 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,038 but thanks a lot for bringing him back. 394 00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:12,535 I did it for him, not for you... 395 00:20:12,625 --> 00:20:14,785 Mr. Liar. 396 00:20:14,917 --> 00:20:19,247 She'll never trust me again. She'll never like me again. 397 00:20:19,333 --> 00:20:20,753 I'll never be able to convince her 398 00:20:20,834 --> 00:20:22,544 I wasn't lying about the kiss. 399 00:20:22,625 --> 00:20:25,035 Yeah, that's too bad. Wait a minute! 400 00:20:25,125 --> 00:20:27,575 What's that in your ear, bunky? 401 00:20:27,709 --> 00:20:29,419 Abracadabra! 402 00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:30,830 Pink lemonade! 403 00:20:30,917 --> 00:20:33,167 With just a hint o' mint. 404 00:20:33,250 --> 00:20:35,170 Ha ha ha ha ha. 405 00:20:35,250 --> 00:20:37,290 Grabbed it on the way out. 406 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're cleared. 407 00:20:41,083 --> 00:20:42,463 Now take it and get out of here. 408 00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:43,672 Case dismissed. 409 00:20:44,750 --> 00:20:47,670 And once again Principal Crosby Strickler 410 00:20:47,750 --> 00:20:51,040 saves another fine young lad from the school for losers. 411 00:20:52,667 --> 00:20:55,127 Mmm. 412 00:20:59,417 --> 00:21:01,457 Well, I guess I learned my lesson. 413 00:21:01,583 --> 00:21:05,043 What, you're never going to talk big again just to fit in with the cool guys? 414 00:21:05,125 --> 00:21:06,575 No. 415 00:21:06,667 --> 00:21:08,247 Oh, you'll never ever start a rumor 416 00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:09,793 because you know what a mess it makes of everything? 417 00:21:09,917 --> 00:21:11,707 That's a good one, but no. 418 00:21:11,834 --> 00:21:13,504 What did you learn? 419 00:21:13,625 --> 00:21:15,995 I am never going to answer the door again 420 00:21:16,083 --> 00:21:17,753 wearing these stupid cowboy pajamas. 421 00:21:17,875 --> 00:21:19,915 Oh, well, 422 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,920 then all of our efforts have not been in vain. 423 00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:26,000 I'll get it! 424 00:21:29,667 --> 00:21:31,247 Hi, Leslie. 425 00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:33,173 Hi, Leonard. I just wanted to apologize 426 00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,960 for ever thinking you would tell a lie 427 00:21:35,083 --> 00:21:37,423 or start a rumor or any of that bad stuff. 428 00:21:37,542 --> 00:21:40,292 That's okay. Everyone makes mistakes. 429 00:21:40,375 --> 00:21:42,285 Thanks for understanding. 430 00:21:42,375 --> 00:21:44,325 Oh, and, Leonard... 431 00:21:44,458 --> 00:21:45,458 Yes, Leslie? 432 00:21:45,583 --> 00:21:47,673 Nice fire-truck jammies. 433 00:21:50,875 --> 00:21:54,245 I guess this is why men sleep in their skivvies.