1 00:00:00,333 --> 00:00:01,883 Of the leash 2 00:00:01,959 --> 00:00:04,329 - 3 00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:09,882 - 4 00:00:09,959 --> 00:00:11,789 For a pair of pants 5 00:00:11,875 --> 00:00:14,205 His favorite pastime 6 00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,631 for the last time 7 00:00:16,709 --> 00:00:18,039 - 8 00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:31,000 Why can't I be a normal kid like any other? 9 00:00:31,083 --> 00:00:33,083 Now, doodle bug, listen to mother. 10 00:00:35,208 --> 00:00:36,788 I hate dogs. 11 00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,503 I do not wish to be a dog. 12 00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:53,331 Yes! 13 00:01:30,083 --> 00:01:31,963 Mmm. Yummy. 14 00:01:50,417 --> 00:01:51,247 Aah! 15 00:01:53,625 --> 00:01:56,535 Oh, my gosh. Spot, I just had the weirdest dream. 16 00:01:56,625 --> 00:01:58,955 You came to school dressed like a kid, 17 00:01:59,041 --> 00:02:01,041 and you were the smartest guy in class 18 00:02:01,125 --> 00:02:03,625 and a great athlete, and everybody liked you, 19 00:02:03,709 --> 00:02:06,419 but you were my dog, and if anyone found out, 20 00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:07,960 I'd never live it down! 21 00:02:08,041 --> 00:02:10,381 Um, that wasn't a dream, Leonard. 22 00:02:10,458 --> 00:02:11,998 That was last week. 23 00:02:12,083 --> 00:02:13,883 -No way! -Way, Leonard. 24 00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:16,379 What about the part where I had no pants on 25 00:02:16,458 --> 00:02:18,458 and I was being chased by a man in a gorilla suit? 26 00:02:18,542 --> 00:02:20,882 All right, that was a dream. 27 00:02:20,959 --> 00:02:23,579 Ooh, you're a very complex boy. 28 00:02:23,667 --> 00:02:24,997 Any-who, back to here and now. 29 00:02:25,083 --> 00:02:27,463 I am the new kid in your class. 30 00:02:27,542 --> 00:02:29,462 I'm Scott Leadready II. 31 00:02:29,542 --> 00:02:31,082 I've only been there a week, 32 00:02:31,166 --> 00:02:33,206 but based on the spelling pretest 33 00:02:33,291 --> 00:02:35,211 and our long-division pop quiz, 34 00:02:35,291 --> 00:02:38,001 I'm riding a 4.0 bullet train to Harvard, baby! 35 00:02:38,083 --> 00:02:41,083 Mind if I wear these today, bro? 36 00:02:41,208 --> 00:02:43,748 Those khakis of yours are a bit binding 37 00:02:43,834 --> 00:02:45,134 in the tail region. 38 00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:46,998 Ouch. 39 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,883 But what if someone finds out? 40 00:02:48,959 --> 00:02:52,169 What if they take you away and perform experiments on you? 41 00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:55,000 What if ever after I'm known as the kid 42 00:02:55,083 --> 00:02:56,793 with the talking dog? 43 00:02:56,875 --> 00:02:59,165 "What if," "what if..." What if pigs could fly? 44 00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:01,290 Although I guess if you could 45 00:03:01,375 --> 00:03:03,125 get their little cloven hooves 46 00:03:03,208 --> 00:03:05,128 to actually grip the control levers, 47 00:03:05,208 --> 00:03:06,498 they might have a shot. 48 00:03:06,583 --> 00:03:08,173 But I digress. 49 00:03:08,250 --> 00:03:10,170 Don't worry about "what if," Leonard. 50 00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:11,500 Just enjoy what is. 51 00:03:11,583 --> 00:03:13,133 Isn't it every kid's fantasy 52 00:03:13,208 --> 00:03:15,378 to have his dog come to school with him? 53 00:03:15,458 --> 00:03:18,578 You'll always have someone to play with at recess. 54 00:03:18,667 --> 00:03:21,077 No one could be more loyal. 55 00:03:21,166 --> 00:03:23,416 As usual, I choose Leonard. 56 00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:27,500 And you never have to worry about cleaning your plate in the caf. 57 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,462 By the way, those ingrates 58 00:03:30,542 --> 00:03:32,462 who complain about cafeteria food 59 00:03:32,542 --> 00:03:35,002 have never tasted simulated liver munchies. 60 00:03:39,375 --> 00:03:42,245 I have a very unusual dog. 61 00:03:42,333 --> 00:03:43,633 He can do things 62 00:03:43,709 --> 00:03:46,079 no other dog in the world can do. 63 00:03:46,166 --> 00:03:47,996 Oh, no. Busted. 64 00:03:48,083 --> 00:03:50,543 I knew this would happen. I knew this would happen. 65 00:03:50,625 --> 00:03:53,455 Using his furry little tail for balance, 66 00:03:53,542 --> 00:03:56,172 he can sit up and beg for a cookie 67 00:03:56,250 --> 00:03:58,290 for five, six minutes at a stretch. 68 00:03:58,375 --> 00:04:00,075 Whew. 69 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:02,830 Great. That'll be my legacy. 70 00:04:02,917 --> 00:04:05,827 Now, see, this is the kind of yummy, 71 00:04:05,917 --> 00:04:08,827 colorful detail I want from you 72 00:04:08,917 --> 00:04:13,627 in your essays entitled "A Very Special Pet"-- 73 00:04:13,709 --> 00:04:15,539 due Friday, three to five pages, 74 00:04:15,625 --> 00:04:17,495 college-ruled paper, in ink, use cursive, 75 00:04:17,583 --> 00:04:19,753 spelling and punctuation count, and don't forget to work in at least 76 00:04:19,834 --> 00:04:22,424 15 words from your unit 2 vocabulary list. 77 00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:29,633 So, what pet are you going to write about, Scott? 78 00:04:29,709 --> 00:04:31,209 A pet. A pet. 79 00:04:31,291 --> 00:04:34,171 This is a conundrum wrapped in an enigma, 80 00:04:34,250 --> 00:04:36,830 because I don't have a pet, I am a pet. 81 00:04:36,917 --> 00:04:40,037 I don't have a pet, I am a pet. Ooh... 82 00:04:40,125 --> 00:04:42,165 I'm still debating, Leslie. 83 00:04:42,250 --> 00:04:43,710 Yeah. Me too. 84 00:04:43,792 --> 00:04:47,712 My boa constrictor, Slimer, can swallow a live rat whole! 85 00:04:47,792 --> 00:04:51,462 But my komodo dragon, Spike, can nail a mosquito 86 00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:52,712 in mid-flight! 87 00:04:54,709 --> 00:04:58,669 Why don't you write about your colony of head lice, Ew-an? 88 00:04:58,750 --> 00:05:02,580 That was kindergarten, and there was an epidemic! 89 00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,747 I don't have a pet, I am a pet. 90 00:05:10,834 --> 00:05:12,424 I don't have a pet, I am a pet. 91 00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:14,290 Stop saying that! 92 00:05:14,375 --> 00:05:17,455 Ooh, I could make up a pet, unleash my fertile imagination, 93 00:05:17,542 --> 00:05:20,422 and follow it wheresoever it may lead. 94 00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:22,210 My pet, the unicorn... 95 00:05:22,291 --> 00:05:24,831 My pet, the Phoenix... 96 00:05:24,917 --> 00:05:27,037 Rise! Rise! 97 00:05:27,125 --> 00:05:31,325 My pet, the mysterious yeti of the himalayas. 98 00:05:31,417 --> 00:05:32,917 The himahl-yas? 99 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,790 When did I become so pretentious? Nah. 100 00:05:34,875 --> 00:05:36,785 That's not the assignment. 101 00:05:36,875 --> 00:05:39,375 I couldn't sell that with a pound of liver. 102 00:05:39,458 --> 00:05:41,788 I bet Leonard's essay will be the best. 103 00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:44,705 Really, Leslie? 104 00:05:44,792 --> 00:05:46,832 Sure. You've got the coolest dog 105 00:05:46,917 --> 00:05:48,827 in the whole wide world. 106 00:05:48,917 --> 00:05:51,247 Plus, he can write down that stuff his mom said 107 00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:53,583 and his essay's done. 108 00:05:53,667 --> 00:05:55,287 You luck-out. 109 00:05:55,375 --> 00:05:57,665 Yeah. Wish my mom was the teacher. 110 00:05:57,750 --> 00:05:59,380 Yeah. Easy "A". 111 00:05:59,458 --> 00:06:01,288 Hey! I do my own work, 112 00:06:01,375 --> 00:06:04,535 and I don't need any help from anyone. 113 00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:06,165 I'll show 'em. 114 00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:09,000 This is the essay I was born to write. 115 00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:12,293 I may not know much, but I do know my pets. 116 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,245 What kind of pet 117 00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:19,253 does a Scott Leadready have? 118 00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:20,883 Whatever I choose 119 00:06:20,959 --> 00:06:23,879 will say so much about me as a boy. 120 00:06:23,959 --> 00:06:26,579 Am I the horsie type? 121 00:06:26,667 --> 00:06:29,127 Gosh, these jodhpurs are killing me. 122 00:06:29,208 --> 00:06:31,918 Has anyone seen my riding crop? 123 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,920 Am I a falconer? 124 00:06:35,375 --> 00:06:36,915 Ow. 125 00:06:37,041 --> 00:06:38,541 Good grief! 126 00:06:38,625 --> 00:06:41,205 Could I possibly have a dog? 127 00:06:41,291 --> 00:06:43,211 My very special pet. 128 00:06:43,291 --> 00:06:45,921 My very special pet. 129 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,250 Oh, I'm so stuck. 130 00:06:48,333 --> 00:06:50,633 Aw, come on. You got the easy job. 131 00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:54,630 Yeah, sure, if I write about you, 132 00:06:54,709 --> 00:06:57,249 everyone will say I ripped off my own mother. 133 00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,963 Why do humans find that funny? 134 00:07:00,041 --> 00:07:02,711 I have to go see a man about a bush. 135 00:07:02,792 --> 00:07:05,542 Hey! Maybe I could write about one of them. 136 00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:06,705 Fellas! 137 00:07:07,792 --> 00:07:08,792 Oh, boys! 138 00:07:08,875 --> 00:07:12,245 Ugh. There's that dog who passes for human. 139 00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:14,673 Yeah. He thinks his tail don't smell. 140 00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:16,710 Say there, mutts on the block, 141 00:07:16,792 --> 00:07:19,382 I was wondering if one of you might be interested 142 00:07:19,458 --> 00:07:21,378 in being the subject of an essay 143 00:07:21,458 --> 00:07:23,828 I have to write for school. 144 00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:26,500 Ow! 145 00:07:26,583 --> 00:07:27,923 Ohh. 146 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:31,000 A simple "no" would have sufficed. 147 00:07:44,625 --> 00:07:48,535 My very special pet. 148 00:07:50,542 --> 00:07:52,422 Oh, need some help, Cinnamon Bun? 149 00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:53,830 I don't need help, 150 00:07:53,917 --> 00:07:56,167 and please don't call me Cinnamon Bun! 151 00:07:56,250 --> 00:07:58,420 Oh, okay. Now, what I meant was, 152 00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:01,330 do you want some help or a cinnamon bun? 153 00:08:01,417 --> 00:08:02,457 Ha ha ha! 154 00:08:02,542 --> 00:08:04,212 Oh. Thanks. 155 00:08:06,041 --> 00:08:07,381 Ahh. 156 00:08:07,458 --> 00:08:09,538 Mmm. Good. 157 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,000 Ahem! Hey, dufus! 158 00:08:16,083 --> 00:08:18,173 There is another special pet around here you could write about. 159 00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:21,170 Oh, why, Pretty Boy, how kind of you! 160 00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:23,080 Not you, tuna lips! 161 00:08:23,166 --> 00:08:25,826 Me! The bird! The guy in the cage! 162 00:08:25,917 --> 00:08:28,247 You? Why would Leonard write about you 163 00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:30,503 when he could write about me? 164 00:08:30,583 --> 00:08:32,963 Who gets on your tummy when you're watching TV 165 00:08:33,041 --> 00:08:35,921 and purrs like a little warm motor boat? 166 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,710 Mr. Jolly is cuddly. 167 00:08:39,792 --> 00:08:42,332 I guess I could write about that. 168 00:08:42,417 --> 00:08:43,877 Don't be a sap. 169 00:08:43,959 --> 00:08:46,289 He eats, he sleeps, he hocks up hairballs. 170 00:08:46,375 --> 00:08:47,915 You're begging for a "C". 171 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,830 And you're an easy "A", 172 00:08:49,917 --> 00:08:52,957 Mr. Swing-on-a-red-plastic-bar- and-peck-at-a-seed-bell? 173 00:08:53,041 --> 00:08:55,461 Scared to leave the house, sheds year 'round, 174 00:08:55,542 --> 00:08:57,712 can't step out of the box without leaving clumps? 175 00:08:57,792 --> 00:08:59,252 Ohh! 176 00:08:59,333 --> 00:09:02,133 How could all that meanness come out of someone so little? 177 00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,248 Hey! Hey! Let's not get personal here. 178 00:09:04,333 --> 00:09:05,883 Besides, Lenny boy, 179 00:09:05,959 --> 00:09:08,249 don't forget who sings for you, baby! 180 00:09:13,458 --> 00:09:17,328 Ooh, he does have a lovely voice. 181 00:09:27,417 --> 00:09:29,957 Have mercy, you two. 182 00:09:30,041 --> 00:09:33,041 These are highly sensitive sound-wave receptors. 183 00:09:33,125 --> 00:09:34,705 What happened to you? 184 00:09:34,792 --> 00:09:38,292 Let's just say I ran into some not-so-special pets. 185 00:09:38,375 --> 00:09:40,625 Listen, I've thought it over, 186 00:09:40,709 --> 00:09:43,539 and what say we just keep it in the house, huh? 187 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,495 Leonard can write about Pretty Boy, 188 00:09:45,583 --> 00:09:46,713 and I, Scott, 189 00:09:46,792 --> 00:09:50,252 shall immortalize our very own Mr. Jolly. 190 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:52,920 Sounds good. 191 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,330 Fine. 192 00:09:54,417 --> 00:09:56,417 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Scott was an option? 193 00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:57,790 Scott's a straight-"A" student. 194 00:09:57,875 --> 00:09:59,785 I want Scott! Is it too late to switch? 195 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,960 Well, I don't know about you, 196 00:10:03,041 --> 00:10:06,881 but my idea of a super-duper, pepper-upper Saturday night 197 00:10:06,959 --> 00:10:09,289 is a steaming mug of hot cider, 198 00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:12,285 a great big bubble bath, and these essays. 199 00:10:12,375 --> 00:10:13,665 Ha ha ha! 200 00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:15,920 I was at the movies. 201 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,630 Wonderful job, honey. 202 00:10:17,709 --> 00:10:20,209 Mommy's so proud of her little essay writer. 203 00:10:20,291 --> 00:10:22,211 Ha ha ha! 204 00:10:22,291 --> 00:10:24,331 Ha ha ha! 205 00:10:24,417 --> 00:10:26,077 Mom, everyone's looking! 206 00:10:26,166 --> 00:10:27,786 Oh. Oh. Ahem. 207 00:10:27,875 --> 00:10:30,785 That is, congratulations, Mr. Helperman. 208 00:10:30,875 --> 00:10:33,375 You turned in a neat and thorough composition 209 00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:35,168 in a timely fashion. 210 00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:36,750 Ha ha ha! 211 00:10:37,792 --> 00:10:39,252 An "A"? 212 00:10:39,333 --> 00:10:43,753 I actually got an "A" all on my own, no help! 213 00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:49,920 Extra credit points. 214 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,750 Ooh, you got to love them. 215 00:10:51,834 --> 00:10:53,794 Well, boys and girls, 216 00:10:53,875 --> 00:10:55,785 each and every one of your pets 217 00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:57,745 just sounded so very special 218 00:10:57,834 --> 00:11:00,004 that I decided-- ha ha ha-- 219 00:11:00,083 --> 00:11:02,253 we need to meet them all. 220 00:11:02,333 --> 00:11:03,833 So, drumroll, please. 221 00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:07,420 Tomorrow is hereby declared 222 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,420 the first annual fourth-grade pet parade! 223 00:11:12,375 --> 00:11:14,285 Ha ha ha! 224 00:11:14,375 --> 00:11:16,785 And, as a very extra-special treat, 225 00:11:16,875 --> 00:11:18,785 you'll all have a chance 226 00:11:18,875 --> 00:11:20,995 to read your essays out loud... 227 00:11:23,208 --> 00:11:26,418 For our ultra-extra-special guest, 228 00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:29,290 my friend Mary Beth, the publisher 229 00:11:29,375 --> 00:11:31,875 of Mary Beth's Special Pets Monthly Magazine, 230 00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:35,329 who's agreed to publish her favorite essay, 231 00:11:35,417 --> 00:11:39,037 along with a color photo of the author 232 00:11:39,125 --> 00:11:42,955 and-- and-- his or her special pet 233 00:11:43,041 --> 00:11:45,251 in the next issue! 234 00:11:45,333 --> 00:11:47,083 Ha ha ha! 235 00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:48,916 Yay! 236 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,290 Wow! 237 00:11:50,375 --> 00:11:53,915 My essay that I wrote all by myself, 238 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,920 without any help from anyone, 239 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,290 in a magazine! 240 00:11:57,375 --> 00:11:59,285 Then everyone who read it 241 00:11:59,375 --> 00:12:02,415 would know that I wrote it, and I don't need any help, 242 00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:04,630 and I'm me, and-- 243 00:12:04,709 --> 00:12:07,249 I'm going on here, aren't I? 244 00:12:07,333 --> 00:12:09,633 Mary Beth's Special Pets Monthly. 245 00:12:09,709 --> 00:12:11,669 Well, it's not the Sunday Times, 246 00:12:11,750 --> 00:12:13,670 but you got to start somewhere. 247 00:12:13,750 --> 00:12:17,080 It all started in the fourth grade, 248 00:12:17,166 --> 00:12:20,496 with a little essay about a cat. 249 00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:23,043 I hope you're not dreaming about getting your essay 250 00:12:23,125 --> 00:12:25,165 in Mary Beth's Special Pets Monthly 251 00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:26,670 because that one's mine. 252 00:12:26,750 --> 00:12:28,210 We'll see. 253 00:12:28,291 --> 00:12:30,211 I'm sure looking forward to meeting 254 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,171 your cat Schroedinger tomorrow, Scott. 255 00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:34,500 He sounds just like my Mr. Jolly. 256 00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:37,383 Oh, but he's not! Unh-unh, no way! 257 00:12:37,458 --> 00:12:40,288 Uh, Schroedinger is, uh, black-- 258 00:12:40,375 --> 00:12:42,165 moorish, at least. 259 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,380 Ugh! Dirty. Dirty! 260 00:12:49,458 --> 00:12:51,168 I just feel so dirty. 261 00:12:51,250 --> 00:12:52,750 Stop it. Stop it. 262 00:12:52,834 --> 00:12:54,964 You're getting all orangey again. 263 00:12:56,792 --> 00:13:00,502 Aah! My tail! My glorious orange tail! 264 00:13:00,583 --> 00:13:02,963 I'll never stop hating you for this. 265 00:13:03,041 --> 00:13:05,461 Okay, we got your fresh newspaper, 266 00:13:05,542 --> 00:13:07,462 your mirror polished... 267 00:13:07,542 --> 00:13:10,082 Don't you worry kid, we're going to beat that dog and his cat 268 00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:11,996 with one wing tied behind our back. 269 00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:14,583 What you going to say when you lift the cage cover? 270 00:13:14,667 --> 00:13:16,627 Um, I don't know. 271 00:13:16,709 --> 00:13:20,829 How about, "everybody, this is my canary!" 272 00:13:20,917 --> 00:13:22,037 You're pathetic. 273 00:13:22,125 --> 00:13:24,205 Get over here so I can peck your head. 274 00:13:24,291 --> 00:13:26,671 You want to get our mug in the magazine, 275 00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:28,330 give it a little oomph. 276 00:13:28,417 --> 00:13:30,247 As my dear mother used to say, 277 00:13:30,333 --> 00:13:33,503 "grab them by the beaks, and their hearts will follow." 278 00:13:33,583 --> 00:13:35,333 Now, repeat after me. 279 00:13:35,417 --> 00:13:36,707 Ladies and gentlemen, 280 00:13:36,792 --> 00:13:39,502 give it up for the pride of Arnie's pets and stuff, 281 00:13:39,583 --> 00:13:41,133 the one, the only, 282 00:13:41,208 --> 00:13:44,538 Pretty Boy Helperman! 283 00:14:03,583 --> 00:14:06,083 I'd better win this thing. 284 00:14:08,458 --> 00:14:11,208 I can't do it. I thought I could, but I can't. 285 00:14:11,291 --> 00:14:13,211 I'm not a black cat. I'm not a brave cat. 286 00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:15,171 I'm just a ball of fear covered with soot. 287 00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:17,670 Let Leonard and Pretty Boy have the glory. 288 00:14:17,750 --> 00:14:19,330 I'll be under the bed. 289 00:14:19,417 --> 00:14:23,077 No! Mr. Jolly, my writing career! 290 00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:24,706 They're going down! 291 00:14:24,792 --> 00:14:26,962 Just five more minutes, Mommy. 292 00:14:31,542 --> 00:14:33,462 Out, out, darn spot. 293 00:14:33,542 --> 00:14:35,382 You, too, darn Spot. 294 00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:37,878 Oh, please, Mr. Jolly, 295 00:14:37,959 --> 00:14:39,419 don't do this to me now. 296 00:14:39,542 --> 00:14:41,752 Here, kitty-kitty. Here, kitty-kitty. 297 00:14:41,834 --> 00:14:43,084 Yes. 298 00:14:43,166 --> 00:14:44,246 Oh, let him be. 299 00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:46,253 Just say Scott's cat couldn't make it, 300 00:14:46,333 --> 00:14:48,423 and be happy for me and Pretty Boy. 301 00:14:48,542 --> 00:14:50,042 We're going to have our picture 302 00:14:50,125 --> 00:14:52,125 in Mary Beth's Special Pets Monthly. 303 00:14:52,208 --> 00:14:55,078 Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you, little boy? 304 00:14:55,166 --> 00:14:57,126 No, Leonard, no! 305 00:14:57,208 --> 00:14:59,498 As much as I love and respect you 306 00:14:59,583 --> 00:15:01,673 as my master and best friend, 307 00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:03,580 it's our picture you'll be looking at-- 308 00:15:03,667 --> 00:15:06,457 if I could just get him out 309 00:15:06,583 --> 00:15:08,673 from under this bed! 310 00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:09,880 Ow! 311 00:15:09,959 --> 00:15:11,419 Ow! 312 00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:17,963 And now we are going! 313 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,745 This is going to be fun. 314 00:15:35,417 --> 00:15:37,287 Her bite doesn't really hurt, 315 00:15:37,375 --> 00:15:39,245 but if it breaks the skin, 316 00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:41,253 you do have to go to the doctor 317 00:15:41,333 --> 00:15:43,293 and get a shot, or you'll die. 318 00:15:43,375 --> 00:15:46,285 Oh, Mary Beth, aren't these kids and their pets 319 00:15:46,375 --> 00:15:48,285 absotively fantabulous? 320 00:15:48,375 --> 00:15:49,705 Ha ha ha! 321 00:15:49,792 --> 00:15:52,252 Oh, posilutely spantacular, Mary Lou. 322 00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:56,003 How in tarnation am I going to pick just one? 323 00:15:56,125 --> 00:16:00,285 Schroedinger Leadready is a cat among cats, 324 00:16:00,375 --> 00:16:02,285 fearless and unflinching, 325 00:16:02,375 --> 00:16:05,125 with the glow of a yellow moon in his eyes, 326 00:16:05,208 --> 00:16:07,958 yet highly philosophical. 327 00:16:08,083 --> 00:16:10,963 Turtles and fishes and rats, oh, my! 328 00:16:11,083 --> 00:16:14,083 If the essay-reading starts to go south, 329 00:16:14,166 --> 00:16:16,036 don't forget your ace in the hole. 330 00:16:24,792 --> 00:16:27,002 What are you staring at, jaws? 331 00:16:27,083 --> 00:16:29,293 You never seen a guy tweet before? 332 00:16:29,375 --> 00:16:30,285 Ha ha ha! 333 00:16:30,375 --> 00:16:32,285 Okay, thank you, Younghee, 334 00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:35,875 and it was a real treat meeting Cheesy. 335 00:16:37,959 --> 00:16:40,579 Now, who would like to go next? 336 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,627 Lady Fluffer Cottontail is ready. 337 00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:45,500 It's going to be okay. I'll read my essay quick, 338 00:16:45,625 --> 00:16:47,035 nail the competition, 339 00:16:47,125 --> 00:16:48,495 bow, "thank you very much," 340 00:16:48,583 --> 00:16:50,253 and run you right home. 341 00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:56,080 There. Now, just wait here. 342 00:16:56,166 --> 00:16:58,456 I left my essay in the cloak room. 343 00:16:58,542 --> 00:16:59,882 I'll be right back. 344 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,210 I'm Schroedinger Leadready. 345 00:17:02,291 --> 00:17:05,251 I'm not Mr. Jolly. I'm not a scaredy-cat. 346 00:17:05,375 --> 00:17:07,625 I'm king of the beasts. 347 00:17:07,750 --> 00:17:10,330 Aah! 348 00:17:12,792 --> 00:17:14,922 Oh, for crying out loud! 349 00:17:15,041 --> 00:17:18,461 Come on, basket case. I'm getting you out of here. 350 00:17:18,542 --> 00:17:22,082 Just grab my foot and don't look down. 351 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,629 Aw, leave him alone already. 352 00:17:25,709 --> 00:17:27,919 Pick on someone your own species. 353 00:17:28,041 --> 00:17:30,501 Hey, who turned off the lights? 354 00:17:34,125 --> 00:17:36,665 Let me out of here! 355 00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:38,080 Hey! 356 00:17:38,166 --> 00:17:41,076 Nobody swallows my friend like that. 357 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,960 Hyah! 358 00:17:45,041 --> 00:17:46,711 Yuck! 359 00:17:46,792 --> 00:17:48,672 Now, those were some ugly guts. 360 00:17:48,792 --> 00:17:51,132 In conclusion, it's not her pink eyes 361 00:17:51,208 --> 00:17:54,128 or the way her nose wiggles when she nibbles a carrot, 362 00:17:54,208 --> 00:17:56,128 but it's her heart full of love 363 00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:58,128 that makes Lady Fluffer Cottontail 364 00:17:58,208 --> 00:18:00,078 my very special pet. 365 00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:01,576 The end. 366 00:18:01,709 --> 00:18:04,129 Okay, thank you, Leslie. 367 00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:08,248 Now we will hear from Leonard Helperman. 368 00:18:08,375 --> 00:18:10,455 We're up, Pretty Boy. 369 00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:13,133 Where is he? 370 00:18:13,250 --> 00:18:18,000 See? I told you the world's a scary place. 371 00:18:18,125 --> 00:18:20,285 Not the whole world, my friend-- 372 00:18:20,375 --> 00:18:21,495 just the fourth grade. 373 00:18:21,625 --> 00:18:23,245 Now come on. 374 00:18:23,333 --> 00:18:25,083 Let's get you home. 375 00:18:25,208 --> 00:18:27,498 Sing for me, Pretty Boy. 376 00:18:27,583 --> 00:18:29,503 Really? You like my singing? 377 00:18:29,583 --> 00:18:31,463 You're not just humoring me? 378 00:18:31,583 --> 00:18:34,133 It helps, somehow. 379 00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:41,130 Oh, great. 380 00:18:41,208 --> 00:18:43,378 Without Pretty Boy, I've got nothing. 381 00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:45,460 What an ironic twist of fate. 382 00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:48,042 This actually works out better for me. 383 00:18:48,125 --> 00:18:50,285 With no Mr. Jolly here in person, 384 00:18:50,375 --> 00:18:52,575 quaking and shaking and drawing attention, 385 00:18:52,709 --> 00:18:55,129 I can create a picture with my words alone 386 00:18:55,208 --> 00:18:58,628 of Schroedinger, the coolest cat in the world. 387 00:18:58,750 --> 00:19:01,170 My essay prevails! 388 00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:05,170 I mean, yahoo! 389 00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:07,920 Yeah, well, you're a great writer, 390 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,080 and you deserve to win. 391 00:19:10,208 --> 00:19:13,078 Leonard, your turn, honey. 392 00:19:13,208 --> 00:19:14,878 My turn to prove what a loser I am. 393 00:19:17,709 --> 00:19:20,749 I'm sorry to be a huge disappointment to everyone, 394 00:19:20,875 --> 00:19:24,785 but, well, my bird, who I wrote my essay about, 395 00:19:24,875 --> 00:19:27,625 well, he isn't here... 396 00:19:30,875 --> 00:19:32,745 But my dog is! 397 00:19:35,333 --> 00:19:36,423 Hey, hey! 398 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:39,540 Good boy! Good, good boy, Spot! 399 00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:41,917 Oh, what a good, good doggy! 400 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,210 Ha ha ha! 401 00:19:58,333 --> 00:20:00,213 Yay! 402 00:20:00,291 --> 00:20:01,501 Thanks, buddy. 403 00:20:01,583 --> 00:20:03,503 Everyone, this is Spot. 404 00:20:03,583 --> 00:20:06,083 He's more than just a very special pet, 405 00:20:06,166 --> 00:20:08,326 he's the best friend anybody ever had. 406 00:20:08,417 --> 00:20:10,537 Spot rules! 407 00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:11,957 He's special! 408 00:20:12,083 --> 00:20:14,963 Ha ha ha! 409 00:20:16,417 --> 00:20:19,127 I still can't believe how cool it was of you 410 00:20:19,208 --> 00:20:20,958 to give up your chance 411 00:20:21,041 --> 00:20:23,501 to become published just so you could be my dog. 412 00:20:23,583 --> 00:20:25,883 Sometimes I even amaze myself. 413 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,790 I'll bet it felt pretty good 414 00:20:27,917 --> 00:20:30,037 just to be your dog self again, huh? 415 00:20:30,166 --> 00:20:31,456 Run free, no clothes, 416 00:20:31,542 --> 00:20:33,082 lick anyone's face you want to. 417 00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:36,628 Oh, no. I know where you're heading this train, 418 00:20:36,709 --> 00:20:39,419 and you can just stop it right on the track, boy-o. 419 00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:41,420 I've had a taste of school life, 420 00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:44,420 and I'm never going back to being just a dog again. 421 00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:46,420 Every day, in every way, 422 00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:50,210 I am becoming more and more human. 423 00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:52,958 Hey, a squirrel! 424 00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:56,040 Ha ha ha! Good boy. 425 00:21:00,709 --> 00:21:02,669 That is one good-looking pet. 426 00:21:02,792 --> 00:21:06,292 Oh, no. The owner's the good-looking one. 427 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,130 Beaten by a bunny. 428 00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:12,210 Hey, wait. What's that over to the far left? 429 00:21:12,291 --> 00:21:15,751 Leonard, part of my nose in a national publication. 430 00:21:15,834 --> 00:21:18,084 This is just the beginning. 431 00:21:18,208 --> 00:21:20,628 If part of my nose attracts the eye 432 00:21:20,709 --> 00:21:23,039 way over on the side like that, 433 00:21:23,125 --> 00:21:25,205 perhaps I shouldn't concentrate on writing. 434 00:21:25,291 --> 00:21:27,631 I could be a supermodel! 435 00:21:29,709 --> 00:21:31,879 Do we have any film in the camera? 436 00:21:31,959 --> 00:21:32,829 What? 437 00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:36,539 I want to take some test shots to see if-- 438 00:21:36,625 --> 00:21:38,785 all right, all right, stop it. 439 00:21:38,917 --> 00:21:40,417 Stop it right now, please. 440 00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,330 Please, please, stop it! 441 00:21:42,417 --> 00:21:44,207 Ha ha ha! 442 00:21:47,458 --> 00:21:51,378 Oh, why do humans find that funny?