1 00:00:00,333 --> 00:00:01,463 ♪ Born on the wrong end Of the leash ♪ 2 00:00:01,542 --> 00:00:04,082 -♪ He was a dreamer ♪ -♪ And a little schemer ♪ 3 00:00:04,166 --> 00:00:05,786 ♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪ 4 00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,415 ♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪ 5 00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:08,330 ♪ He'd start to drool ♪ 6 00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:10,127 -♪ One day he says ♪ -♪ I'll take a chance ♪ 7 00:00:10,208 --> 00:00:11,828 ♪ Trades his leash For a pair of pants ♪ 8 00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,207 ♪ In a glance, school becomes His favorite pastime ♪ 9 00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,581 ♪ I have buried a bone For the last time ♪ 10 00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:18,287 -♪ He says ♪ -♪ I want to be a boy ♪ 11 00:00:18,375 --> 00:00:19,625 ♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪ 12 00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:21,129 ♪ He's so over just being rover ♪ 13 00:00:21,208 --> 00:00:22,578 ♪ I gotta be a boy ♪ 14 00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:25,037 ♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪ 15 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,665 ♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪ 16 00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,420 ♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪ 17 00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,960 Why can't I be a normal kid like any other? 18 00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:33,131 Now, doodle bug, listen to mother. 19 00:00:33,208 --> 00:00:34,918 ♪ I want to be a boy ♪ 20 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,920 I hate dogs. 21 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,460 ♪ I gotta be a boy ♪ 22 00:00:39,542 --> 00:00:41,462 ♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪ 23 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,502 I do not wish to be a dog. 24 00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:46,083 ♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪ 25 00:00:46,166 --> 00:00:47,496 ♪ I got to be a boy ♪ 26 00:00:47,583 --> 00:00:49,083 ♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪ 27 00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:52,206 ♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪ 28 00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:54,131 Yes! 29 00:01:08,709 --> 00:01:12,289 [marching music plays] 30 00:01:12,375 --> 00:01:15,745 [man reads] 31 00:01:18,041 --> 00:01:20,921 Yes, sir, sure as the sap rises in the springtime, 32 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,830 boys from all over gathered at 33 00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:26,207 the Junior Boy Ranger Jamboree of United Neighborhood Councils 34 00:01:26,291 --> 00:01:28,001 of rangers across the state. 35 00:01:28,083 --> 00:01:29,753 For two days of fun, friendship, 36 00:01:29,834 --> 00:01:31,674 and bitter head-to-head competition. 37 00:01:31,750 --> 00:01:35,420 And once again, the West East Westland Wolfpack 38 00:01:35,500 --> 00:01:37,960 took home the large trophy of importance. 39 00:01:38,041 --> 00:01:39,961 The wolfpack is always a sure-fire... 40 00:01:40,041 --> 00:01:42,041 Pain in my belly. 41 00:01:42,125 --> 00:01:44,575 Every year, those kids win the skills competition. 42 00:01:44,667 --> 00:01:48,247 Every year, they lead the parade at the closing ceremony. 43 00:01:48,333 --> 00:01:50,043 And every year, where are we? 44 00:01:50,125 --> 00:01:53,495 In the back, with the miserable, humiliated losers! 45 00:01:53,583 --> 00:01:56,133 Now, I understand we all had a lot of fun 46 00:01:56,208 --> 00:01:57,748 at the jamboree last year, 47 00:01:57,834 --> 00:02:00,884 but wouldn't it be fun to win the thing just once? 48 00:02:00,959 --> 00:02:02,379 [all] Yeah! 49 00:02:02,458 --> 00:02:06,328 Wouldn't it be fun to bring home the large trophy of importance? 50 00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:07,627 [all] Yeah! 51 00:02:07,709 --> 00:02:10,579 Wouldn't it be fun to crush those kids 52 00:02:10,667 --> 00:02:15,497 from West East Westland into little pieces of dirt and bone?! 53 00:02:15,583 --> 00:02:17,753 -Uh... Okay? -I don't know. 54 00:02:17,834 --> 00:02:21,634 Hey, uh, don't tell your folks I said that last part, okay? 55 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:24,209 Sir, I think I speak for everyone when I say, 56 00:02:24,291 --> 00:02:25,791 we're with you all the way. 57 00:02:25,875 --> 00:02:28,245 Um, e-except for the, uh... Well, you know. 58 00:02:28,333 --> 00:02:30,043 If those guys are a great team, 59 00:02:30,125 --> 00:02:33,705 then we'll just work hard until we're a greater team. 60 00:02:33,792 --> 00:02:36,502 Sir, Leonard is absolutely right. 61 00:02:36,583 --> 00:02:40,463 I swear to you now that ere the last lanyard is laced, 62 00:02:40,542 --> 00:02:42,212 we will be the champions 63 00:02:42,291 --> 00:02:45,381 of this year's Junior Boy Ranger Jamboree 64 00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:49,708 of United Neighborhood Councils of rangers across the state! 65 00:02:49,792 --> 00:02:51,712 The JBRJUNCRATS! 66 00:02:51,792 --> 00:02:53,292 Unfortunate acronym. 67 00:02:53,375 --> 00:02:56,165 But it doesn't make our task any less serious. 68 00:02:56,250 --> 00:02:58,670 Boys, we must work together as a team 69 00:02:58,750 --> 00:03:02,080 and perfect every skill in the Junior Boy Ranger manual. 70 00:03:02,166 --> 00:03:05,376 Teddy, work on your knot tying. 71 00:03:05,458 --> 00:03:07,668 Ian, master first aid. 72 00:03:07,750 --> 00:03:12,040 Leonard, hone your skills with the semaphore flags. 73 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:16,955 In short, friends, let's become a winning team! 74 00:03:19,917 --> 00:03:23,627 Or we could just let Scott win all the events. 75 00:03:23,709 --> 00:03:24,789 That works for me, too. 76 00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:25,705 [muffled cheering] 77 00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:28,417 [chanting] Scott! Scott! Scott! Scott! Scott! Scott! 78 00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:31,705 [marching music plays] 79 00:03:32,709 --> 00:03:36,249 ♪ I know a special word ♪ 80 00:03:36,333 --> 00:03:39,503 ♪ It starts with a capital "T" ♪ 81 00:03:39,583 --> 00:03:43,503 ♪ Add little "e," little "a," little "m" ♪ 82 00:03:43,583 --> 00:03:46,963 ♪ And you spelled out "team" for me ♪ 83 00:03:47,041 --> 00:03:50,711 ♪ And "me" and "me" and "me" make "we" ♪ 84 00:03:50,792 --> 00:03:54,632 ♪ And I believe we can all agree ♪ 85 00:03:54,709 --> 00:03:58,289 ♪ That that's the way It should always be ♪ 86 00:03:58,375 --> 00:04:01,955 ♪ We're a team with a capital "T" ♪ 87 00:04:03,583 --> 00:04:06,213 [fanfare plays] 88 00:04:22,083 --> 00:04:22,923 [cheering] 89 00:04:24,750 --> 00:04:27,710 Ladies and gentlemen, the opening ceremony has concluded, 90 00:04:27,792 --> 00:04:30,672 you'll see every second live on the Marginal Sports Network. 91 00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:32,040 Hooray! Hooray! 92 00:04:32,125 --> 00:04:34,875 Thank you, cable TV, and your vast, gaping maw 93 00:04:34,959 --> 00:04:37,079 of airtime needing to be filled. 94 00:04:37,166 --> 00:04:39,706 You and your Junior Boy Ranger's! Ptooey! 95 00:04:39,792 --> 00:04:41,632 I know it's counter to your nature, 96 00:04:41,709 --> 00:04:43,709 but would you try not to denigrate 97 00:04:43,792 --> 00:04:45,172 that of which you know nothing. 98 00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:47,130 I find the jamboree very intriguing. 99 00:04:47,208 --> 00:04:49,128 Maybe for dummies with no life, 100 00:04:49,208 --> 00:04:51,538 but not for Pretty Boy Helperman. 101 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:55,245 Oh, shush, and pass me a s'more. 102 00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:56,673 Coming up, the first event, 103 00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:58,790 pitting the East Westland Eagles 104 00:04:58,875 --> 00:05:00,995 against the West East Westland Wolfpack, 105 00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,673 will be team tent pitching! 106 00:05:08,750 --> 00:05:09,580 [crowd cheering] 107 00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:13,170 An entire group to pitch a one-pup pup tent? 108 00:05:13,250 --> 00:05:15,500 What a terrible waste of boypower. 109 00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:17,583 [whistle blows] 110 00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:31,170 Eat my brilliance! 111 00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:34,380 Unfortunate metaphor, but you get the point. 112 00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:35,748 Go, Eagles! 113 00:05:37,834 --> 00:05:38,634 [cheering] 114 00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:40,460 [claps unenthusiastically] 115 00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:45,002 The human-pyramid competition goes to East Westland... 116 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:46,583 As well as 117 00:05:46,709 --> 00:05:48,879 the make-a-cardboard-cutout- of-yourself competition. 118 00:05:48,959 --> 00:05:50,379 Naturally. 119 00:05:50,458 --> 00:05:51,288 [ding] 120 00:05:51,875 --> 00:05:52,705 [buzzing] 121 00:05:53,625 --> 00:05:56,165 [all] Oh, man! 122 00:05:56,250 --> 00:05:57,080 [laughing and cheering] 123 00:05:59,125 --> 00:05:59,955 [clears throat] Ooh. 124 00:06:00,834 --> 00:06:03,294 [Scott] Bandage making, bird calling-- 125 00:06:03,375 --> 00:06:05,785 Hmm, old-lady-across-the-street helping-- 126 00:06:05,875 --> 00:06:07,785 and practical-catapult building. 127 00:06:07,875 --> 00:06:11,625 Hey, Lenny, there's two more events I can combine into one. 128 00:06:11,709 --> 00:06:12,539 [screams] 129 00:06:13,625 --> 00:06:14,455 [groans] 130 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,495 Don't strain yourself congratulating me. 131 00:06:17,583 --> 00:06:19,463 Scott, I'm happy we're winning, 132 00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:22,212 but don't you think you're forgetting something? 133 00:06:22,291 --> 00:06:24,461 There's an old expression that goes, 134 00:06:24,542 --> 00:06:25,962 "there's no 'i' in 'team.'" 135 00:06:26,041 --> 00:06:28,131 Yes, but there's a "me" in "team"! 136 00:06:28,208 --> 00:06:30,328 [sighs] Good night, Scott. 137 00:06:30,417 --> 00:06:34,247 There's also "meat," "tame," "mate," "ate," "eat," "tam," 138 00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:35,883 "mat," "met," "at," 139 00:06:35,959 --> 00:06:38,249 and, for all you Latin scholars, 140 00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:40,383 "et," as in "et tu, brute?" 141 00:06:40,458 --> 00:06:41,288 [whistle blows] 142 00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:42,996 [crowd cheering] 143 00:06:45,417 --> 00:06:49,167 Okay, boys, this hike is our path to glory-- 144 00:06:49,250 --> 00:06:51,330 glory-- do you hear me?! 145 00:06:51,417 --> 00:06:54,877 [sleepily] J-just five more minutes, Mom. 146 00:06:54,959 --> 00:06:55,789 [yawns] 147 00:06:56,792 --> 00:06:58,332 Please pay strict attention 148 00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:00,667 to the rules of the team-hike competition. 149 00:07:00,750 --> 00:07:01,830 They will be read once... 150 00:07:01,917 --> 00:07:03,827 Don't worry, this is in the bag... 151 00:07:03,917 --> 00:07:06,327 The first troop to hike the full distance 152 00:07:06,417 --> 00:07:08,627 under its own power with no outside help 153 00:07:08,709 --> 00:07:10,749 and successfully reach the summit 154 00:07:10,834 --> 00:07:12,294 of Little Bignose Rock-- 155 00:07:12,375 --> 00:07:14,705 not to be confused with Big Bignose Rock-- 156 00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:16,132 shall be declared the winner. 157 00:07:16,208 --> 00:07:19,708 ...and I'll lead us to Big Bignose Rock and victory! 158 00:07:19,792 --> 00:07:22,502 Uh, Scott, I think you're wrong. The judge said-- 159 00:07:22,583 --> 00:07:24,963 let me do the thinking. 160 00:07:25,041 --> 00:07:27,131 You do the following and the sharing in the credit. 161 00:07:27,208 --> 00:07:28,328 Okay. 162 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,540 -[whistle blows] -Troop, ho! 163 00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:33,955 [all] Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup! 164 00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:35,541 Troop, ho! 165 00:07:35,625 --> 00:07:38,375 [all] Hup, hup... 166 00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:43,500 Looks like somebody I know could use a nutritional supplement. 167 00:07:46,041 --> 00:07:47,961 I got to tell you, I do not understand this, Ted. 168 00:07:48,041 --> 00:07:49,751 The Eagles seem to be marching-- 169 00:07:49,834 --> 00:07:52,884 if you can use that word to describe their movements-- 170 00:07:52,959 --> 00:07:54,379 to Big Bignose Rock, 171 00:07:54,458 --> 00:07:56,418 while The Wolfpack makes a beeline for... 172 00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:57,630 Little Bignose Rock! 173 00:07:57,709 --> 00:07:59,379 Go back! Go back, Scott! 174 00:07:59,458 --> 00:08:01,748 They're going the wrong way, Jolly! 175 00:08:01,834 --> 00:08:04,924 Oh, for the love of liver, take it easy, will you? 176 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,290 I can't bear to watch! 177 00:08:06,375 --> 00:08:09,375 See? Regional sports can be quite fascinating. 178 00:08:09,458 --> 00:08:10,788 Onward! Onward, boys! 179 00:08:10,875 --> 00:08:13,075 Glory for our team is just-- 180 00:08:13,166 --> 00:08:15,246 glory for our team is somewhere 181 00:08:15,333 --> 00:08:18,253 behind that huge Boulder blocking our way. 182 00:08:18,333 --> 00:08:20,383 Heh heh. Eh...Okay, now. 183 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,878 We're not lost. No reason to panic. 184 00:08:22,959 --> 00:08:25,329 Scott, we are lost. 185 00:08:25,375 --> 00:08:26,455 We are?! 186 00:08:26,542 --> 00:08:29,082 What do you mean we're lost?! We can't be lost! 187 00:08:29,166 --> 00:08:30,916 This is Big Bignose Rock. 188 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,710 We were supposed to hike to Little Bignose Rock. 189 00:08:34,792 --> 00:08:36,382 Little... Bignose Rock? 190 00:08:36,458 --> 00:08:39,958 People, you think next time you name things around here, 191 00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:42,331 you might work a little harder?! 192 00:08:42,417 --> 00:08:44,127 Well, thanks for telling me 193 00:08:44,208 --> 00:08:46,328 we were going in the wrong direction! 194 00:08:46,417 --> 00:08:47,787 There goes our trophy. 195 00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:49,325 You mean your trophy. 196 00:08:49,417 --> 00:08:51,667 This hasn't been about us for weeks. 197 00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:53,880 It's not about the team. It's all-- 198 00:08:53,959 --> 00:08:56,749 look, I don't really have the energy to go on with this. 199 00:08:56,834 --> 00:08:59,044 You know what I'm getting at, right? 200 00:08:59,125 --> 00:09:01,205 Ohh...what have I-- 201 00:09:03,792 --> 00:09:07,002 oh, what have I done?! 202 00:09:07,083 --> 00:09:09,333 Well... I've learned my lesson. 203 00:09:09,417 --> 00:09:12,497 From now on, there is no "me" in "team"-- 204 00:09:12,583 --> 00:09:14,173 only "we" in team. 205 00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:17,210 Let's ignore the obvious impossibility of that statement 206 00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:20,211 and concentrate on the spirit of it, right, guys? 207 00:09:20,291 --> 00:09:21,381 -Huh? -Huh? 208 00:09:21,458 --> 00:09:22,748 -Guess so. -Okay. 209 00:09:22,834 --> 00:09:23,754 What? 210 00:09:23,834 --> 00:09:25,044 I'll take that. 211 00:09:25,125 --> 00:09:26,625 This is my solemn vow-- 212 00:09:26,709 --> 00:09:29,749 henceforth, I will respect your ranger skills 213 00:09:29,834 --> 00:09:32,084 and allow us to work as a team! 214 00:09:32,166 --> 00:09:34,916 Just as soon as I single-handedly lead us 215 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,420 to Little Bignose Rock and victory! 216 00:09:38,542 --> 00:09:40,582 Aaaaaaaah! 217 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,247 Guys! 218 00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:44,333 Down here! 219 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,877 Okay, guys, this is where you really teach me my lesson. 220 00:09:47,959 --> 00:09:51,419 You pull together, use all your ranger skills to rescue me, 221 00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:53,420 and win the trophy as a true team! 222 00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:55,210 It's ironically perfect. 223 00:09:55,291 --> 00:09:59,381 Scott, we forgot all that skill stuff once you took over. 224 00:09:59,750 --> 00:10:02,290 Or it's just ironically depressing. 225 00:10:02,375 --> 00:10:03,825 I know, I know, I know! 226 00:10:03,917 --> 00:10:06,247 If we find a giant finger somewhere, 227 00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:08,463 we can reach down into the ravine 228 00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:09,832 and flick you out! 229 00:10:09,917 --> 00:10:11,417 Hehhhh! 230 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:14,630 I think I'll just wait for the wild animals to pick me apart, 231 00:10:14,709 --> 00:10:16,039 if you don't mind. 232 00:10:16,125 --> 00:10:17,415 [boy] Wolfpack, ho! 233 00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:18,710 What the-- 234 00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:22,420 Wolfpack, halt! 235 00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:24,630 Initiate handkerchief maneuver number 7! 236 00:10:24,709 --> 00:10:26,499 [all] Yes, sir! 237 00:10:30,959 --> 00:10:33,829 How ironically appropriate. 238 00:10:33,917 --> 00:10:35,037 Thank you, boys. 239 00:10:35,125 --> 00:10:37,325 You saved me, knowing full well 240 00:10:37,417 --> 00:10:40,997 I would then beat you and claim victory for East Westland. 241 00:10:41,083 --> 00:10:43,713 Actually, the rules say you're disqualified 242 00:10:43,792 --> 00:10:46,502 if you finish the hike with any outside help. 243 00:10:46,583 --> 00:10:50,633 You know, I should really start paying attention 244 00:10:50,709 --> 00:10:52,669 to those rule thingies. 245 00:10:52,750 --> 00:10:54,460 And there they are, folks-- 246 00:10:54,542 --> 00:10:56,252 the West East Westland Wolfpack, 247 00:10:56,333 --> 00:10:58,833 winners of the large trophy of importance 248 00:10:58,917 --> 00:11:00,537 for the ninth year in a row! 249 00:11:02,625 --> 00:11:04,455 Oh, someday I'll win. 250 00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:09,080 Aw, don't feel so bad. You just can't help yourself. 251 00:11:09,166 --> 00:11:10,826 I don't feel bad for myself. 252 00:11:10,917 --> 00:11:13,327 I feel bad for you and the rest of the guys. 253 00:11:13,417 --> 00:11:16,417 At least last year when you lost, you had some fun. 254 00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:17,380 Now it's all over. 255 00:11:17,458 --> 00:11:18,578 It's not over yet. 256 00:11:18,667 --> 00:11:21,537 The parade's gonna go on for at least another hour. 257 00:11:21,625 --> 00:11:22,535 You mean...? 258 00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:23,785 Let's have some fun! 259 00:11:23,875 --> 00:11:25,075 Yahoo! 260 00:11:25,166 --> 00:11:27,826 Last one to the potholder-making pavilion 261 00:11:27,917 --> 00:11:29,127 is a rotten egg! 262 00:11:29,208 --> 00:11:32,208 I have got to teach that dog to lighten up a little. 263 00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:08,291 [narrator] The outlook isn't brilliant in East Westland this fine day. 264 00:12:08,375 --> 00:12:12,325 A friendship will be tested, and there will be heck to pay. 265 00:12:12,417 --> 00:12:16,457 The fighting won't be over girls or tacos at the mall, 266 00:12:16,542 --> 00:12:20,542 but tryouts for East Westland's Mighty Bitty League Of Ball. 267 00:12:20,625 --> 00:12:23,415 Ah, baseball! 268 00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:25,790 The roar of the foul-line paint... 269 00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:27,785 The smell of the mound... 270 00:12:27,875 --> 00:12:29,785 Eh...that can't be right. 271 00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:32,285 Perhaps I should read up on the game a tad. 272 00:12:32,375 --> 00:12:34,245 Don't worry. I'll help you out. 273 00:12:34,333 --> 00:12:37,133 I just hope we get on a team-- any team. 274 00:12:37,208 --> 00:12:41,918 Make way for the coach and star of the Fighting Festering Sores! 275 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,420 Eh heh heh heh! 276 00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:45,380 Perhaps not any team. 277 00:12:45,458 --> 00:12:48,578 [narrator] The coaches, they assembled. The whistle, it was blown. 278 00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:52,577 The pitcher, he got ready. And the tryout had begun. 279 00:12:52,667 --> 00:12:55,917 And after just one mighty hit, it was plain for all to see 280 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,540 who the newest, hottest, 281 00:12:57,625 --> 00:12:59,165 coolest first-draft pick would be. 282 00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:02,920 Ha hey! This is fun! 283 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:03,830 [crowd cheering] 284 00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:07,829 Scott's performance on the field 285 00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:09,577 was bright and superstarry. 286 00:13:09,667 --> 00:13:12,827 But the best that could be said for our poor Leonard was... 287 00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:14,127 Sorry. 288 00:13:17,208 --> 00:13:18,208 Aaah! 289 00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:21,130 Eek! 290 00:13:21,208 --> 00:13:22,998 Yes! Yes! 291 00:13:23,083 --> 00:13:24,923 Oh, yeah! I did it! 292 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,000 Okay, he hit one. We can come out of hiding now. 293 00:13:28,083 --> 00:13:29,833 Scott, guess what?! I'm on a team! 294 00:13:29,917 --> 00:13:32,787 Sure, it's Ian's team and it's named after a facial blemish 295 00:13:32,875 --> 00:13:35,455 and I'm batting 12th and playing right field adjacent, 296 00:13:35,542 --> 00:13:36,752 but I'm on a team! 297 00:13:36,834 --> 00:13:38,044 Hey, that's great. 298 00:13:38,125 --> 00:13:39,165 How'd you do? 299 00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:40,670 Oh...not bad. 300 00:13:40,750 --> 00:13:43,040 He's on my team! I saw him first! 301 00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:46,205 No way, loser! That kid is mine-- all mine! 302 00:13:46,291 --> 00:13:49,081 They're fighting over me, Leonard! It's incredible! 303 00:13:49,166 --> 00:13:52,416 Who would have thought when I first arrived at your school 304 00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:53,830 a scant eight months ago-- 305 00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:57,127 eight months? You've only lived in this town for eight months? 306 00:13:57,208 --> 00:13:59,788 Do you mind? I'm exulting here. 307 00:13:59,875 --> 00:14:01,825 If you want to play in our league, 308 00:14:01,917 --> 00:14:04,877 you have to have lived in the district for a full year. 309 00:14:04,959 --> 00:14:07,459 Scott, I'm sorry you can't play. 310 00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:11,382 Yeah, well...That's the way the spitball slips, I suppose. 311 00:14:11,458 --> 00:14:13,878 It's a good thing I can take it. 312 00:14:13,959 --> 00:14:17,129 Aaaaaaaah! 313 00:14:17,208 --> 00:14:19,628 Aaaah! I can't take it! 314 00:14:19,834 --> 00:14:22,214 It's not so bad. You can play next season. 315 00:14:22,291 --> 00:14:24,631 Hello! I'm a dog, Leonard-- 316 00:14:24,709 --> 00:14:28,079 a "one year equals seven dog years" dog. 317 00:14:28,166 --> 00:14:30,576 Ohhhhh! Cruel, cruel fate! 318 00:14:30,667 --> 00:14:31,787 It doesn't seem right. 319 00:14:31,875 --> 00:14:34,785 I mean, I'm not that good, and yet, I get to play. 320 00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:36,325 And you, you're... 321 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,537 The greatest thing to happen to the game 322 00:14:38,625 --> 00:14:40,495 since the invention of the funnel cake, 323 00:14:40,583 --> 00:14:42,133 and I can only sit and watch. 324 00:14:42,208 --> 00:14:43,498 Oh, it's all so unfair, 325 00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:46,833 so inconsolably, so unmitigatedly-- 326 00:14:46,917 --> 00:14:48,457 hold that tragic thought. 327 00:14:48,542 --> 00:14:51,042 Must one have lived here for a year to be a coach? 328 00:14:51,125 --> 00:14:53,165 -No. -Much obliged. 329 00:14:53,250 --> 00:14:54,920 Thanks for waiting, Leonard. 330 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,460 Great news-- I can coach! 331 00:14:56,542 --> 00:14:57,502 Coach? 332 00:14:57,583 --> 00:14:58,633 Yes! 333 00:14:58,709 --> 00:15:00,749 I can join your team and coach you! 334 00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:03,334 It's a natural-- I'm a great player, you... 335 00:15:03,417 --> 00:15:04,707 Stink on ice? 336 00:15:04,792 --> 00:15:06,672 A little vulgar, but fair enough. 337 00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:08,040 It's perfect, Leonard. 338 00:15:08,125 --> 00:15:10,575 I'll pass on my gift for the game to you! 339 00:15:10,667 --> 00:15:12,497 But Mr. Wazselewski's the manager. 340 00:15:12,583 --> 00:15:15,673 You think he and the rest of the team will go along with this? 341 00:15:15,750 --> 00:15:17,750 -Yes, please! -Oh, yes, Scott, please! 342 00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:18,924 Do it, Scott! 343 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,130 Oh, I think they're onboard. 344 00:15:21,208 --> 00:15:24,128 Here's how you show 'em the old pepper. Ha ha ha! 345 00:15:26,875 --> 00:15:27,705 [sizzling] 346 00:15:28,667 --> 00:15:29,577 You follow? 347 00:15:29,709 --> 00:15:30,539 Uh-huh. 348 00:15:36,041 --> 00:15:39,291 Back, back, back, back, back, back, back! 349 00:15:39,375 --> 00:15:41,705 Gone! Goodbye! 350 00:15:41,792 --> 00:15:43,332 Is it my turn yet? 351 00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:49,500 Uhhh! 352 00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:50,633 Pttt! 353 00:15:50,709 --> 00:15:53,169 Great catch, Leonard. You're learning fast. 354 00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:55,130 Stick with me, and before you know it, 355 00:15:55,208 --> 00:15:56,958 you'll be in the majors-- the show. 356 00:15:57,041 --> 00:15:58,961 But I'm happy just being on Ian's team 357 00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,791 and playing right field adjacent. 358 00:16:00,875 --> 00:16:03,575 Nobody ever hits there, so I can't screw up too bad. 359 00:16:03,667 --> 00:16:05,627 Good, good. Keep playing modest. 360 00:16:05,709 --> 00:16:07,879 Nobody likes an arrogant superstar. 361 00:16:07,959 --> 00:16:09,289 Take it from me. 362 00:16:09,375 --> 00:16:10,535 Now back to work. 363 00:16:10,625 --> 00:16:12,625 Let's go over the signs. This one... 364 00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:17,170 ...means "hit a home run." 365 00:16:17,250 --> 00:16:18,960 This one... 366 00:16:19,041 --> 00:16:21,581 Means "hit a big, big home run." 367 00:16:21,667 --> 00:16:23,667 I think I like this one better. 368 00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:24,830 What's that? 369 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:27,537 "Hold your bat up and pray for a bunt." 370 00:16:27,625 --> 00:16:28,455 [crowd cheering] 371 00:16:29,583 --> 00:16:30,713 Whoo-hoo! 372 00:16:30,792 --> 00:16:31,832 Ho, boy! 373 00:16:31,917 --> 00:16:34,667 Now, Ian will bat first, Ruth second, 374 00:16:34,750 --> 00:16:37,170 Muddy third, Leonard fourth... 375 00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:38,830 [all groan] 376 00:16:38,917 --> 00:16:41,997 What?! Leonard gets to play center field and bat cleanup? 377 00:16:42,083 --> 00:16:44,003 [scoffs] He can't field or hit! 378 00:16:44,083 --> 00:16:46,213 I know. I didn't ask for this. 379 00:16:46,291 --> 00:16:48,631 Ugh! What clown made this lineup?! 380 00:16:48,709 --> 00:16:50,249 Foam fingers! 381 00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:54,293 Get your special commemorative Leonard Helperman foam fingers! 382 00:16:54,375 --> 00:16:56,075 Guaranteed to go up in value 383 00:16:56,166 --> 00:16:58,536 when Lenny makes the big leagues! 384 00:16:58,625 --> 00:16:59,705 Oh, no! 385 00:16:59,792 --> 00:17:00,712 Scott-- 386 00:17:00,792 --> 00:17:01,672 Hiya, champ. 387 00:17:01,750 --> 00:17:03,500 Aaah! 388 00:17:03,583 --> 00:17:05,503 Scott, what are you-- 389 00:17:05,583 --> 00:17:07,543 Nice, huh? No time to thank me now. 390 00:17:07,625 --> 00:17:10,535 You've got some grand slams to hit today, brother. 391 00:17:10,625 --> 00:17:13,165 I can't bat cleanup and play center field. 392 00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:14,290 I'm no good. 393 00:17:14,375 --> 00:17:15,995 Nonsense. You've really improved. 394 00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:18,383 Now, just remember everything I showed you 395 00:17:18,458 --> 00:17:20,788 and believe in yourself, and you'll do great. 396 00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:25,417 Well... okay. 397 00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:26,330 [panting] 398 00:17:27,458 --> 00:17:30,668 But you have to promise you'll stop embarrassing me. 399 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,000 You have my solemn word. 400 00:17:33,083 --> 00:17:39,133 ♪ O'er the land Of the free-e-e-e-e-e-e! ♪ 401 00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:43,415 ♪ And the ho-o-o-o-o-me ♪ 402 00:17:43,500 --> 00:17:47,880 ♪ Of the bra-a-a-a-a-a-ve ♪ 403 00:17:47,959 --> 00:17:53,539 ♪ And nobody's braver Than Leonard, yeah! ♪ 404 00:17:53,625 --> 00:17:55,665 [drumming] 405 00:17:59,834 --> 00:18:01,464 [narrator] Poor Leonard hoped and prayed 406 00:18:01,542 --> 00:18:03,502 he'd make at least one catch that day. 407 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,423 -Boo! -Come on! 408 00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:07,420 Poor Leonard's prayers weren't answered, 409 00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:09,000 but Scott had missed the play. 410 00:18:09,083 --> 00:18:10,293 Gimme an "L"! 411 00:18:10,375 --> 00:18:11,575 Gimme an "E"! 412 00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:12,667 Gimme an "O"! 413 00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:14,460 Ugh! 414 00:18:14,542 --> 00:18:15,382 [all gasp] 415 00:18:15,542 --> 00:18:18,582 Ohh! Gimme an ice pack! 416 00:18:18,667 --> 00:18:19,497 [organ playing] 417 00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:23,285 There were no two ways about it. 418 00:18:23,375 --> 00:18:26,575 It was time to make a switch. So Scott told poor Leonard... 419 00:18:26,667 --> 00:18:28,747 Guess what? You're gonna pitch! 420 00:18:30,625 --> 00:18:34,535 The answer wasn't pitching, catching, or playing first. 421 00:18:34,625 --> 00:18:36,995 Then Leonard got his turn at bat. 422 00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:39,293 Things went from bad to worse. 423 00:18:39,375 --> 00:18:42,535 [crowd booing] 424 00:18:44,542 --> 00:18:47,792 The other festering sores were as gnarly as their name. 425 00:18:47,875 --> 00:18:49,375 They scratched with tooth and nail 426 00:18:49,458 --> 00:18:51,248 and got back into the game. 427 00:18:51,333 --> 00:18:52,583 Dude, you pick it up. 428 00:18:52,667 --> 00:18:55,627 Ian's bat touched it! I'm not going near that ball! 429 00:18:55,709 --> 00:18:59,499 Ha ha! Ha ha haaaaa! Ha haa! 430 00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:02,543 [panting and slobbering] 431 00:19:05,583 --> 00:19:09,043 Finally, the wildcats' lead was down to 10 to 9. 432 00:19:09,125 --> 00:19:13,535 Leonard, he came up to bat and Scott gave him the sign. 433 00:19:13,625 --> 00:19:14,785 What? 434 00:19:14,875 --> 00:19:16,705 Strike one! 435 00:19:16,834 --> 00:19:19,134 [all boo] 436 00:19:19,208 --> 00:19:22,038 Hit a game-winning home run! 437 00:19:22,125 --> 00:19:23,575 I'm trying! 438 00:19:25,667 --> 00:19:27,207 Strike two! 439 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:29,581 Are you crazy?! That's no strike! 440 00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:31,037 Scott, it's okay. 441 00:19:31,125 --> 00:19:34,495 No, it's not okay! The bat never crossed the plate! 442 00:19:34,583 --> 00:19:37,583 It almost crossed my face! Strike two! 443 00:19:37,667 --> 00:19:39,577 Stop kicking dirt on my shoes! 444 00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:42,787 Oh, ohhh! So it's dirt you're afraid of, huh? 445 00:19:42,875 --> 00:19:44,455 I'll give you dirt! 446 00:19:45,792 --> 00:19:48,172 Scott! Stop it! I've had enough! 447 00:19:48,250 --> 00:19:51,040 Yeah, I've had enough of this umpire, too! 448 00:19:51,125 --> 00:19:53,825 Mix in some laser eye surgery next time! 449 00:19:53,917 --> 00:19:56,037 No! It's you I've had enough of! 450 00:19:56,125 --> 00:19:57,245 Me?! 451 00:19:57,333 --> 00:19:59,963 And you're not helping me! You're driving me crazy! 452 00:20:00,041 --> 00:20:02,631 How could you say that after all I've done for you? 453 00:20:02,709 --> 00:20:05,169 Do you know how long that mascot head took me to make? 454 00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:08,460 You don't have the easiest cranium to sculpt, you know! 455 00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:09,712 It's irregularly shaped! 456 00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:12,632 Don't you see? You didn't do all this for me. 457 00:20:12,709 --> 00:20:15,079 You did it for you because you can't play. 458 00:20:15,166 --> 00:20:16,666 If you really wanted to be my friend, 459 00:20:16,750 --> 00:20:18,540 you'd help me at something I'm good at 460 00:20:18,625 --> 00:20:20,665 and not try to live out your failed dreams through me. 461 00:20:20,750 --> 00:20:22,330 Well, boo hoo hoo! 462 00:20:22,458 --> 00:20:25,578 I am going to make you a ballplayer if it kills you! 463 00:20:25,667 --> 00:20:27,457 Have it your way, coach! 464 00:20:27,542 --> 00:20:30,082 I'll just swing as hard as I can, then. 465 00:20:30,166 --> 00:20:32,246 Fine! You do that, scooter! 466 00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:34,463 [all gasp] 467 00:20:36,041 --> 00:20:36,921 [all gasp] 468 00:20:38,834 --> 00:20:39,924 [both gasp] 469 00:20:47,959 --> 00:20:51,379 All eyes were on Leonard as he came back to the plate, 470 00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:54,458 afraid that he would strike out and forever seal his-- 471 00:20:54,542 --> 00:20:56,422 wait! Bunt! 472 00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:58,380 Bunt?! I can't! 473 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,580 Eek! 474 00:21:03,417 --> 00:21:06,667 [announcer] It's a perfect bunt by Leonard Helperman! 475 00:21:06,750 --> 00:21:09,670 And here comes muddy Walters to score the winning run! 476 00:21:09,750 --> 00:21:12,960 Sores win! 477 00:21:16,291 --> 00:21:18,581 Thanks, Scott. I appreciate it. 478 00:21:18,667 --> 00:21:20,377 You were right all along, Leonard. 479 00:21:20,458 --> 00:21:22,578 I just let you do the thing that you're good at. 480 00:21:22,667 --> 00:21:25,327 And now for the thing that I'm good at. 481 00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:31,417 Today, I consider myself the luckiest, handsomest boy 482 00:21:31,750 --> 00:21:33,790 on the face of the earth. 483 00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:36,535 Because today, I learned a lesson 484 00:21:36,625 --> 00:21:39,495 about what it means to have a friend-- 485 00:21:39,583 --> 00:21:42,173 a loyal friend, a dedicated friend, 486 00:21:42,250 --> 00:21:44,960 the best, most wonderful... 487 00:21:45,041 --> 00:21:48,381 Ah, but enough about me. Let's hear it for Leonard! 488 00:21:48,458 --> 00:21:51,208 [cheering] 489 00:21:55,250 --> 00:21:57,460 [narrator] Oh, somewhere in this favored land, 490 00:21:57,542 --> 00:21:59,382 the sun is shining bright, 491 00:21:59,458 --> 00:22:01,328 the band is playing somewhere, 492 00:22:01,417 --> 00:22:03,537 and somewhere, hearts are light. 493 00:22:03,625 --> 00:22:05,995 That somewhere is East Westland, 494 00:22:06,083 --> 00:22:08,963 where the Wildcat team was shunted 495 00:22:09,041 --> 00:22:11,711 and a friendship saved from ruin 496 00:22:11,792 --> 00:22:14,292 because mighty Leonard bunted.