1 00:00:00,333 --> 00:00:01,463 Of the leash 2 00:00:01,542 --> 00:00:04,082 - 3 00:00:04,166 --> 00:00:05,786 living a dog's life 4 00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,415 the bell for school 5 00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:10,127 - 6 00:00:10,208 --> 00:00:11,828 For a pair of pants 7 00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,207 His favorite pastime 8 00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,581 For the last time 9 00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:18,287 - 10 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,665 regular Einstein 11 00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,420 treading a fine line 12 00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,960 Why can't I be a normal kid like any other? 13 00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:33,131 Now, doodle bug, listen to mother. 14 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,920 I hate dogs. 15 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,502 I do not wish to be a dog. 16 00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:46,083 ready for trousers 17 00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:52,206 is gonna be a boy 18 00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:54,131 Yes! 19 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,460 I bet you're wondering 20 00:01:28,542 --> 00:01:31,002 why I'm sporting this mysterious, enigmatic smile 21 00:01:31,083 --> 00:01:33,083 not unlike the one worn by "Mona Lisa," 22 00:01:33,166 --> 00:01:35,626 Leonardo da Vinci's haunting Italian masterpiece. 23 00:01:35,709 --> 00:01:38,039 Yeah, that's exactly what I was wondering. 24 00:01:38,125 --> 00:01:39,165 Here's a hint. 25 00:01:39,250 --> 00:01:42,040 Tomorrow a certain someone I know and love, 26 00:01:42,125 --> 00:01:44,625 and I'm not gonna mention any names, 27 00:01:44,709 --> 00:01:45,919 Leonard... 28 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,710 But that someone, Leonard, 29 00:01:47,792 --> 00:01:50,632 is celebrating a special day, Leonard, 30 00:01:50,709 --> 00:01:52,539 that only happens once a year, 31 00:01:52,625 --> 00:01:54,495 and no, it's not Cinco de Mayo. 32 00:01:54,583 --> 00:01:56,633 Oh, yeah, my birthday. 33 00:01:56,709 --> 00:01:58,629 "Oh, yeah, my birthday." 34 00:01:58,709 --> 00:02:00,999 Did I just step through a portal into an alternate universe 35 00:02:01,083 --> 00:02:03,003 where they don't consider a birthday 36 00:02:03,083 --> 00:02:05,213 the greatest, most super-unbelievably special day 37 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:08,251 of all super days worthy of a huge party? 38 00:02:08,333 --> 00:02:10,543 Actually, I get sort of nervous around parties. 39 00:02:10,625 --> 00:02:12,625 I'm just gonna do what I always do-- 40 00:02:12,709 --> 00:02:14,039 stay home. 41 00:02:14,125 --> 00:02:16,625 Ha ha ho! 42 00:02:16,709 --> 00:02:18,129 You got me! 43 00:02:18,125 --> 00:02:19,955 Oh-ho, boy! That was a good one! 44 00:02:20,041 --> 00:02:21,831 "No party," he says. 45 00:02:21,917 --> 00:02:22,997 Ha ha ha ha ha! 46 00:02:23,083 --> 00:02:24,463 I'm serious. 47 00:02:24,542 --> 00:02:26,502 Ha ha-- 48 00:02:26,583 --> 00:02:28,793 Leonard, listen to me. 49 00:02:28,875 --> 00:02:30,745 You're turning 10. 50 00:02:30,834 --> 00:02:33,214 10! The big 1-0! Mr. Decade. 51 00:02:33,291 --> 00:02:35,501 You've won the first battle. 52 00:02:35,583 --> 00:02:39,133 Leonard Helperman, victor over all single numbers-- 53 00:02:39,208 --> 00:02:42,538 okay, not a great appellation, but it's something. 54 00:02:42,625 --> 00:02:43,995 You got to have a party! 55 00:02:44,083 --> 00:02:45,543 No, I already decided. 56 00:02:45,625 --> 00:02:47,535 I just want a quiet day at home. 57 00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:49,245 Hmm. I understand. 58 00:02:49,333 --> 00:02:51,673 A quiet day-- stay home-- 59 00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:54,960 actually, it's a good plan... If you're 80! 60 00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:56,251 You're a kid! 61 00:02:56,333 --> 00:02:58,503 Kids celebrate birthdays! 62 00:02:58,583 --> 00:03:02,963 Hats, cake, sad ponies led around by shellshocked clowns. 63 00:03:03,041 --> 00:03:04,581 But I don't want one. 64 00:03:04,667 --> 00:03:06,577 How can you possibly know what you want, Leonard? 65 00:03:06,667 --> 00:03:07,917 You're only 9! 66 00:03:08,041 --> 00:03:09,921 Call it tough love, my biped friend, 67 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,920 but there's no way I'm letting you turn 10 without a party. 68 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,290 Leonard's birthday in space! 69 00:03:20,709 --> 00:03:22,079 Class dismissed. 70 00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:26,710 Rumor around campus is tomorrow is Leonard's tenth. 71 00:03:26,792 --> 00:03:28,042 Oh, yes. 72 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,075 We're gonna have a very nice day. 73 00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:32,706 A rented video and his favorite meal, 74 00:03:32,792 --> 00:03:34,712 fried baloney and rice. 75 00:03:34,792 --> 00:03:37,882 Actually, I was thinking a party, huh? 76 00:03:37,959 --> 00:03:40,749 I know he secretly wants one. 77 00:03:40,834 --> 00:03:42,214 You being his best friend, 78 00:03:42,291 --> 00:03:45,041 you might know better what he secretly wants. 79 00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:46,375 You have my permission 80 00:03:46,458 --> 00:03:48,828 to put together a big special surprise party 81 00:03:48,917 --> 00:03:50,827 at our house tomorrow afternoon. 82 00:03:50,917 --> 00:03:52,417 Great! 83 00:03:55,208 --> 00:03:57,328 Yeah, I'm still here. 84 00:03:57,417 --> 00:03:59,167 The best you can do, huh? 85 00:03:59,250 --> 00:04:01,250 Mr. Moonbounce and Rocket Jumpers 86 00:04:01,333 --> 00:04:03,043 both quoted me a lower price. 87 00:04:03,125 --> 00:04:05,915 Plus, they're throwing in a balloon arch in three colors. 88 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,710 What's that? Four colors you say? 89 00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:11,792 Ooh, that's a lot of balloons. I'll get back to you. 90 00:04:11,875 --> 00:04:13,375 Now, let's look up Mr. Moonbounce 91 00:04:13,458 --> 00:04:15,208 and Rocket Jumpers and give them a call. 92 00:04:15,291 --> 00:04:16,791 Oh, spot, you're so crafty! 93 00:04:16,875 --> 00:04:19,705 I wouldn't want to sit across the bargaining table from you. 94 00:04:19,792 --> 00:04:22,002 Who do you think taught him to work the system? 95 00:04:22,083 --> 00:04:24,923 Speaking of which, you blew that last call, mutt boy. 96 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,540 You could have got him to throw in a slippy-slide. 97 00:04:28,959 --> 00:04:32,129 Oh, hey, guys. You seen my football? 98 00:04:32,709 --> 00:04:34,129 Here's the football 99 00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:36,628 and your helmet, pads, Jersey, cleats, mouthpiece, chin strap. 100 00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:38,919 Take the basketball, too, in case you get sick of football. 101 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,130 It happened to Europe. Now go! 102 00:04:41,208 --> 00:04:43,708 Play till bedtime. Ha ha ha ha! You need your exercise. 103 00:04:47,583 --> 00:04:49,633 Oh, dear. I hope Leonard didn't get suspicious. 104 00:04:49,709 --> 00:04:51,879 I don't know if I can keep a secret from him. 105 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,039 I get so nervous. 106 00:04:53,125 --> 00:04:54,245 I'll teach you a trick. 107 00:04:54,333 --> 00:04:58,333 Whenever you start to get nervous over compensate by forcing yourself to act cool 108 00:04:58,542 --> 00:05:00,132 Act cool? I can do that. 109 00:05:00,208 --> 00:05:02,498 How are you doin', baby? What's the haps? 110 00:05:02,583 --> 00:05:03,583 Slap me some feather. 111 00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:06,793 Forget I said anything. 112 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,080 He's coming over! 113 00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:12,576 Okay, showtime! 114 00:05:12,667 --> 00:05:15,377 Remember, if you get nervous, act cool-- except you. 115 00:05:15,458 --> 00:05:16,418 Aah! 116 00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:18,000 Hey, Leonard... 117 00:05:18,083 --> 00:05:20,463 Looks like your hoops practice is paying off. 118 00:05:20,542 --> 00:05:22,082 Don't you think, pretty boy? 119 00:05:23,750 --> 00:05:24,960 What's wrong with him? 120 00:05:25,041 --> 00:05:27,251 Uh, he's taking a nap with his eyes open 121 00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:28,793 like in the marines. 122 00:05:28,875 --> 00:05:30,875 I'm sure happy I'm not having a party. 123 00:05:30,959 --> 00:05:33,249 Now I can go to the park tomorrow and practice even more. 124 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,883 As long as we're talking about birthdays, 125 00:05:35,959 --> 00:05:37,919 you know, in the abstract, 126 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,880 I still think you should have had one. 127 00:05:39,959 --> 00:05:42,039 They're such an all-American tradition, 128 00:05:42,125 --> 00:05:44,825 the celebration of the fact you came into the world. 129 00:05:44,917 --> 00:05:46,077 Do you not agree? 130 00:05:46,208 --> 00:05:48,328 I guess it would be nice to be celebrated, 131 00:05:48,417 --> 00:05:50,877 but think of all the things that could go wrong. 132 00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:53,999 Suppose no one shows up. 133 00:05:54,083 --> 00:05:56,383 Or suppose you invite only the cool people 134 00:05:56,458 --> 00:05:58,918 and one of the invitations gets lost in the mail. 135 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,790 And now that person thinks you don't think they're cool. 136 00:06:01,875 --> 00:06:03,915 So they take you off their list of cool people. 137 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,000 And what if you're playing pin the tail on the donkey 138 00:06:06,083 --> 00:06:07,633 and stick someone with the pin? 139 00:06:07,709 --> 00:06:10,129 What if you slobber when you blow out the candles 140 00:06:10,208 --> 00:06:12,208 and then no one wants to eat the cake except Ian? 141 00:06:12,291 --> 00:06:14,211 Or if you have to break the piñata, 142 00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:16,171 but it's really, really hard to break. 143 00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:18,460 And everybody gets annoyed 'cause they want candy, 144 00:06:18,542 --> 00:06:20,502 but there is none because I stink at baseball? 145 00:06:20,583 --> 00:06:22,043 The kid's got a point. 146 00:06:22,125 --> 00:06:24,075 That's why I'm happy I'm not having one. 147 00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:26,706 A party would be the worst thing in the whole wide world. 148 00:06:29,583 --> 00:06:32,003 Yeah, well, sure. 149 00:06:32,083 --> 00:06:34,173 All that stuff could happen. 150 00:06:34,250 --> 00:06:36,960 Of course, what if all those things weren't your fault? 151 00:06:37,083 --> 00:06:40,503 I mean, to cite a totally hypothetical situation, 152 00:06:40,583 --> 00:06:44,083 suppose somebody else sent out the invitations. 153 00:06:44,166 --> 00:06:47,666 Nobody could blame you for not thinking they're a cool person. 154 00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:48,790 Right? 155 00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:50,995 No! No! 156 00:06:51,083 --> 00:06:52,423 No, no! 157 00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:54,960 You are throwing me a surprise party, aren't you? 158 00:06:55,041 --> 00:06:57,131 No, no, no, no, no. 159 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,038 Yes! 160 00:06:59,125 --> 00:07:01,125 I'm a canary. What can I say? 161 00:07:01,208 --> 00:07:03,628 How can you throw me a surprise party? 162 00:07:03,709 --> 00:07:05,129 Who told you I wanted one? 163 00:07:05,208 --> 00:07:07,538 Look, Leonard, it's not gonna be so bad. 164 00:07:07,625 --> 00:07:08,955 It's gonna be worse. 165 00:07:09,041 --> 00:07:11,001 It's bad enough I have to have a party, 166 00:07:11,083 --> 00:07:13,753 but now I know about it, and I still have to act surprised. 167 00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,754 I'm the stinkiest actor in the world! 168 00:07:15,834 --> 00:07:19,334 This is gonna be the worst birthday ever. 169 00:07:19,417 --> 00:07:22,577 All Leonard needs is a good acting coach. 170 00:07:22,667 --> 00:07:24,917 I volunteer. 171 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,500 Puh-lease! 172 00:07:26,583 --> 00:07:28,923 What's a hairball machine like you know about acting? 173 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,380 Excuse me. 174 00:07:30,458 --> 00:07:34,878 I happen to have been in a few productions in my youth. 175 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,250 Excellent party. 176 00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:51,003 You must come to New Delhi next week 177 00:07:51,083 --> 00:07:53,923 to handle the arrangements for young Raja's tenth birthday. 178 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,130 Oh, thank you, but I can't. 179 00:07:56,208 --> 00:07:58,458 I only did this for my friend Leonard. 180 00:08:00,583 --> 00:08:01,503 Oh! 181 00:08:01,583 --> 00:08:02,503 Ugh! 182 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:03,833 Ah, here he comes now. 183 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:05,787 Surprise! 184 00:08:11,166 --> 00:08:12,956 Birthday faker! 185 00:08:13,041 --> 00:08:15,581 Faker! Birthday faker! 186 00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,457 Wait! Don't go! 187 00:08:17,542 --> 00:08:18,882 We're having cake! 188 00:08:18,959 --> 00:08:20,079 No, thanks. 189 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,166 The boy would probably spit on it. 190 00:08:26,750 --> 00:08:28,040 Aah! 191 00:08:28,125 --> 00:08:30,125 Oh, I can't do that to my friend. 192 00:08:32,041 --> 00:08:34,921 The party's off! We got to call everyone and cancel! 193 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,000 Where's the list of phone numbers? 194 00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:38,003 Oops. 195 00:08:38,083 --> 00:08:40,253 Here's a four. 196 00:08:41,458 --> 00:08:43,828 Okay, let me set the scene. 197 00:08:43,917 --> 00:08:45,627 It's noon. It's hot. 198 00:08:45,709 --> 00:08:49,129 You feel a bead of salty perspiration run down your face. 199 00:08:49,208 --> 00:08:51,418 The pungent smell of freshly cut grass 200 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,670 is mixed with night-blooming Jasmine. 201 00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:56,710 You reach the door. The handle is cold. It's hard. 202 00:08:56,792 --> 00:08:58,132 What lies beyond? 203 00:08:58,208 --> 00:08:59,878 You slowly open the door. 204 00:08:59,959 --> 00:09:01,169 Surprise! 205 00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:04,833 No, that was anguish. 206 00:09:04,917 --> 00:09:07,667 I want surprise. Do it again. 207 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:11,290 That was fear. Again. 208 00:09:11,375 --> 00:09:14,075 Contempt-- again. 209 00:09:14,166 --> 00:09:15,536 No, again. 210 00:09:15,625 --> 00:09:17,205 No, again. 211 00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:18,331 Worse. 212 00:09:18,417 --> 00:09:19,747 It's no use. 213 00:09:19,834 --> 00:09:21,964 I'm a failure as a director. 214 00:09:22,041 --> 00:09:24,631 I can do it. Just give me one more chance. 215 00:09:24,709 --> 00:09:28,079 You reach the door. The handle is cold, hard. 216 00:09:28,166 --> 00:09:31,206 What lies beyond? 217 00:09:31,291 --> 00:09:34,001 You slowly open the door. 218 00:09:34,083 --> 00:09:35,213 Surprise! 219 00:09:37,125 --> 00:09:39,325 That was it! Again! 220 00:09:41,166 --> 00:09:42,916 By jove! I think he's got it. 221 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:47,917 This is gonna be the greatest birthday ever! 222 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,290 You guys, he can do it! 223 00:09:50,375 --> 00:09:52,785 Leonard can fake surprise! Show 'em! 224 00:09:54,125 --> 00:09:55,995 Mmm. That's great, Leonard. 225 00:09:56,083 --> 00:09:58,923 Maybe you can use it on your 11th birthday. 226 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,130 What about my 10th? 227 00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:01,378 What about today? 228 00:10:01,458 --> 00:10:03,708 Sorry, bunky, you seemed so nervous. 229 00:10:03,792 --> 00:10:06,252 So I figured the best present I could give you 230 00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:07,833 would be to cancel it. 231 00:10:07,917 --> 00:10:10,627 Oh, I guess that makes sense. 232 00:10:10,709 --> 00:10:11,999 It is what you wanted. 233 00:10:12,083 --> 00:10:14,833 It was hard to get in touch with everybody so last minute, 234 00:10:14,917 --> 00:10:17,077 but Pretty Boy and I found their phone numbers. 235 00:10:17,166 --> 00:10:19,826 We're gonna have fun though, right? 236 00:10:19,917 --> 00:10:23,537 Oh-ho! A nice day with videos, some fried luncheon meat. 237 00:10:23,625 --> 00:10:25,625 Mmm, boy! Come on! 238 00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:28,079 I've got the VCR ready to go! 239 00:10:28,166 --> 00:10:30,876 Happy birthday to me. 240 00:10:32,125 --> 00:10:33,535 Surprise! 241 00:10:35,166 --> 00:10:38,326 He didn't know. That was real. 242 00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:40,133 I thought you said-- 243 00:10:40,208 --> 00:10:42,708 I wanted it to be a real surprise. 244 00:10:42,792 --> 00:10:44,792 A slippy-slidey! 245 00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:47,205 There must be six different color balloons there. 246 00:10:47,291 --> 00:10:49,171 You're very close. 247 00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:06,214 Aha ha! Time to blow out the candles. 248 00:12:04,625 --> 00:12:10,075 In the old Kentucky home 249 00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:21,170 Meadow's in bloom... 250 00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:22,960 Ooh, got my tail in it. 251 00:12:34,083 --> 00:12:37,003 And a teaspoon of salt 252 00:12:37,083 --> 00:12:40,083 Until well-blended 253 00:12:40,166 --> 00:12:42,246 To hold together 254 00:12:42,333 --> 00:12:44,043 drops of water 255 00:12:44,125 --> 00:12:45,955 To bond the morsels 256 00:12:46,041 --> 00:12:48,211 Not to overmoisten 257 00:12:49,959 --> 00:12:52,669 Shortenin' shortenin' 258 00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:55,040 Mom, do you have to sing the whole recipe 259 00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:56,665 every time you make cookies? 260 00:12:56,750 --> 00:12:59,000 Oh, was I singing? 261 00:12:59,083 --> 00:13:03,333 Well, I guess I'm just in a hip-hop-happy Saturday moo-- 262 00:13:03,417 --> 00:13:04,537 what the-- 263 00:13:04,625 --> 00:13:05,745 how the-- 264 00:13:05,834 --> 00:13:07,254 who the-- 265 00:13:07,333 --> 00:13:09,503 well, then where in the-- 266 00:13:09,583 --> 00:13:11,633 Eek! A mouse! 267 00:13:11,709 --> 00:13:14,999 Gee, I thought they only said that in cartoons. 268 00:13:15,083 --> 00:13:18,003 You'd be surprised how many cartoons are based on real life. 269 00:13:18,083 --> 00:13:20,333 Could you two dial it down a titch? 270 00:13:20,417 --> 00:13:22,497 Some of us need our beauty rest. 271 00:13:27,417 --> 00:13:30,917 Pawnbrokers, pedicurists, personal chefs-- 272 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:34,080 ah-- pest control-- "Bye-Bye-Mouse-Begone." 273 00:13:34,166 --> 00:13:35,536 Hmm. 274 00:13:35,625 --> 00:13:38,955 "Insta-quick immediate same-day rapid service in a flash." 275 00:13:39,041 --> 00:13:41,041 Oh, great. I'm on hold. 276 00:13:41,125 --> 00:13:43,785 Mom, what do you need to call them for? 277 00:13:43,875 --> 00:13:46,125 Mr. Jolly can catch the mouse. 278 00:13:46,208 --> 00:13:47,878 Our Mr. Jolly? 279 00:13:49,208 --> 00:13:51,828 Leonard, honey, your dog will be quoting Shakespeare 280 00:13:51,917 --> 00:13:53,957 before that cat ever catches a mouse. 281 00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:56,211 "Ah, what fools these mortals be." 282 00:13:56,291 --> 00:13:59,501 He can so catch a mouse. That's what cats do. 283 00:13:59,583 --> 00:14:02,633 Aw, Lenny, Mr. Jolly's not a real cat. 284 00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:06,629 He's just an ooshy, squishy, lovety old blob of fur. 285 00:14:07,917 --> 00:14:09,207 Yes, I'll continue to hold. 286 00:14:09,291 --> 00:14:12,041 My wait time is approximately five minutes. 287 00:14:12,125 --> 00:14:14,035 I bet you this batch of cookies 288 00:14:14,125 --> 00:14:17,125 that Mr. Jolly can catch that mouse before you get off hold. 289 00:14:17,208 --> 00:14:19,708 Well, all righty. 290 00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:23,632 Mr. Jolly's got exactly five minutes to catch that mouse. 291 00:14:23,709 --> 00:14:26,539 You might want to wake him up and let him know. 292 00:14:29,208 --> 00:14:31,958 Hmm! 293 00:14:32,041 --> 00:14:33,381 R-r-eow! 294 00:14:37,875 --> 00:14:39,785 Mmm. 295 00:14:39,875 --> 00:14:40,955 R-Reow! 296 00:14:41,041 --> 00:14:43,921 Jolly, wake up! 297 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,040 Is the house on fire?! 298 00:14:46,125 --> 00:14:49,165 Save my baby pictures! Everything else can be replaced! 299 00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:51,000 There's a mouse in the house! 300 00:14:51,083 --> 00:14:52,003 Eek! Mouse?! 301 00:14:52,083 --> 00:14:54,003 He watches cartoons all the time. 302 00:14:54,083 --> 00:14:55,423 Don't just stand there! 303 00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:58,330 Call those guys in the white jumpsuits that take it away! 304 00:14:58,417 --> 00:15:00,827 This is your job. You're the cat. 305 00:15:00,917 --> 00:15:03,917 Leonard, where have you been? I'm not a real cat. 306 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,420 I'm just an ooshy, squishy, lovety old blob of fur. 307 00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:09,000 Well, that's what my mom said. 308 00:15:09,083 --> 00:15:10,963 I know. That's where I got it. 309 00:15:11,041 --> 00:15:13,501 You don't think I really talk that way? Gracious. 310 00:15:13,583 --> 00:15:16,083 But I bet her a whole batch of cookies 311 00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:17,666 that you are a real cat, 312 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,040 and now you've got exactly 4 1/2 minutes to prove it. 313 00:15:21,125 --> 00:15:22,875 Cookies, you say? 314 00:15:22,959 --> 00:15:26,209 Why, I'd better get going right away. 315 00:15:26,291 --> 00:15:27,921 Got to catch a mouse. 316 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,960 Got to catch a mouse. Got to catch a mouse. 317 00:15:30,041 --> 00:15:31,421 Go, Jolly. Go, Jolly. Go, Jolly. 318 00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:32,960 Go, Jolly. Go, Jolly. Go, Jolly. 319 00:15:33,041 --> 00:15:34,291 Go, Jolly. Go, Jolly. Go, Jolly. 320 00:15:36,208 --> 00:15:39,708 I haven't the faintest idea what I'm doing. 321 00:15:39,792 --> 00:15:41,132 Don't sweat it. 322 00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:43,828 You still got 3 minutes and 59 seconds left to find out. 323 00:15:43,917 --> 00:15:47,287 58... 57... 56... 55-- 324 00:15:47,375 --> 00:15:50,035 Stop it! Stop it! You're driving me crazy! 325 00:15:50,125 --> 00:15:53,285 Is this as much fun for everyone else as it is for me? 326 00:15:53,375 --> 00:15:54,915 You can do this, Jolly. 327 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,830 You just got to get in touch with your cat instincts 328 00:15:57,917 --> 00:15:58,997 and follow 'em. 329 00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:01,963 All right, all right, Mr. Bossy. 330 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:09,250 I smell something. 331 00:16:11,125 --> 00:16:13,035 I'm on the trail. 332 00:16:13,125 --> 00:16:16,035 Watch out! Get out of my way! 333 00:16:20,375 --> 00:16:21,785 You smell the mouse? 334 00:16:23,041 --> 00:16:25,001 No, I smell the cookies. 335 00:16:25,083 --> 00:16:28,383 Mmm... Mama Helperman one fine cook. 336 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,880 There she goes! 337 00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:38,209 Who you stalking, huh, Mr. Pussycat? 338 00:16:38,291 --> 00:16:39,831 You think you can catch 339 00:16:39,917 --> 00:16:41,957 Margarita Sylvita Lupita Evita Ratocita? 340 00:16:42,041 --> 00:16:44,961 Ha! I laugh in your fat, furry face 341 00:16:45,041 --> 00:16:47,501 and swish my tail twice in the region. 342 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:52,210 Ooh, El gato peligroso! 343 00:16:52,291 --> 00:16:54,881 I am so scared! 344 00:16:54,959 --> 00:16:57,709 I'll show you, missy. 345 00:17:00,166 --> 00:17:03,876 Boo-ya-a-a-a! 346 00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:08,793 Did I get her? 347 00:17:08,875 --> 00:17:12,245 No, but you did manage to blow another minute and five seconds. 348 00:17:12,333 --> 00:17:13,583 Curses. 349 00:17:13,667 --> 00:17:16,327 Where could that rascally she-rodent have gone? 350 00:17:20,208 --> 00:17:22,708 And no joke-- you're so slow. 351 00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:25,422 What do you know? Me gotta go! 352 00:17:27,917 --> 00:17:30,497 Oh, come on. Who would have thought of looking there? 353 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,503 Pbht! 354 00:17:32,583 --> 00:17:36,383 All right, lady. Now it's personal. 355 00:17:43,375 --> 00:17:46,745 Hasta la vista, baby! 356 00:17:51,041 --> 00:17:52,921 Fine. That's it. Game over. 357 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,830 I'll never fit in there. 358 00:17:54,917 --> 00:17:56,747 No! You can do it, Jolly! 359 00:17:56,834 --> 00:17:58,334 Use your vibrissa! 360 00:17:58,417 --> 00:18:00,667 I most certainly will not. 361 00:18:00,750 --> 00:18:03,040 There are children present. 362 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:05,915 Vibrissa are your whiskers. 363 00:18:06,709 --> 00:18:07,959 You know, cats' whiskers always grow 364 00:18:08,041 --> 00:18:09,961 to the exact width of their bodies, 365 00:18:10,041 --> 00:18:12,631 thereby providing them with an early warning system 366 00:18:12,709 --> 00:18:15,959 so they never go into any spaces in which they might get stuck. 367 00:18:16,041 --> 00:18:17,461 How fascinating! 368 00:18:17,542 --> 00:18:20,462 How come our ears have those little notches at the bottom? 369 00:18:20,542 --> 00:18:24,132 Tick, tick, tick, tick. You got a minute and change left. 370 00:18:24,208 --> 00:18:27,168 I'm going in. 371 00:18:28,417 --> 00:18:31,667 Whiskers, don't fail me now. 372 00:18:35,625 --> 00:18:37,325 I'm in! I see her! 373 00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:41,670 I could just about get her! 374 00:18:50,250 --> 00:18:51,580 I missed her! 375 00:18:51,667 --> 00:18:53,377 She's sambaing away. 376 00:19:01,291 --> 00:19:04,251 Okay, I think we may have to call in 377 00:19:04,333 --> 00:19:06,253 the emergency rescue team. 378 00:19:06,333 --> 00:19:08,043 It's okay. We got you covered, pal. 379 00:19:09,542 --> 00:19:11,082 On "three." 380 00:19:11,166 --> 00:19:15,206 One... two... 381 00:19:20,375 --> 00:19:23,075 Well, the good news is, in less than a minute, 382 00:19:23,166 --> 00:19:24,916 this humiliation will all be over. 383 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,920 At least the chasing-the-mouse part will be over. 384 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,790 The part where I never let you live it down will go on and on 385 00:19:30,875 --> 00:19:33,125 for as long as it cracks me up. 386 00:19:33,208 --> 00:19:35,628 I will not be the butt of your jokes! 387 00:19:35,709 --> 00:19:37,919 I will not be made a fool of by a mouse! 388 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,170 I am cat, hear me roar! 389 00:19:41,250 --> 00:19:44,710 R-r-r-r-r-eow! 390 00:20:07,667 --> 00:20:09,457 And that's the ballgame, folks. 391 00:20:11,917 --> 00:20:13,707 Are you okay, Mr. Jolly? 392 00:20:13,792 --> 00:20:15,712 I've failed you, Leonard. 393 00:20:15,792 --> 00:20:19,752 I wanted to be a cat for you, kid, but, oh, look at me. 394 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,790 I couldn't even catch a mouse. 395 00:20:23,875 --> 00:20:26,705 I'm no good to nobody for nothin'! 396 00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:28,882 Aw! 397 00:20:30,917 --> 00:20:32,917 Pobrecito fur blob. 398 00:20:42,250 --> 00:20:44,330 What do you want? 399 00:20:44,417 --> 00:20:45,537 Jeez. 400 00:20:45,625 --> 00:20:48,325 You're the most pathetic kitty I ever met. 401 00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:53,287 Don't hurt me! They made me do it! 402 00:20:53,375 --> 00:20:55,955 Aw, just shut up and open your mouth! 403 00:20:56,041 --> 00:20:59,131 Actually, that would be technically imposs-- 404 00:21:01,291 --> 00:21:02,631 there. 405 00:21:02,709 --> 00:21:04,999 Oh! 406 00:21:05,083 --> 00:21:08,833 Well, Leonard, hmm, five minutes is up. 407 00:21:08,917 --> 00:21:09,997 I'm finally off hold, 408 00:21:10,083 --> 00:21:13,213 and the Bye-Bye-Mouse-Begone people are all set to-- 409 00:21:15,166 --> 00:21:18,206 Mr. Jolly! Look at you! 410 00:21:19,917 --> 00:21:23,787 Oh, I'm afraid we won't be needing your services after all. 411 00:21:23,875 --> 00:21:25,995 We have a cat! 412 00:21:26,083 --> 00:21:28,003 -Yay! All right! -Go, Mr. Jolly! 413 00:21:28,083 --> 00:21:30,383 And now I'm gonna make my mouser 414 00:21:30,458 --> 00:21:33,418 a nice, big bowl of salmon-and-liver treats. 415 00:21:41,792 --> 00:21:43,882 Mm-mmm! 416 00:21:43,959 --> 00:21:45,669 Mr. Jolly, I've been thinking. 417 00:21:45,750 --> 00:21:48,080 It was wrong of me to try and make you be 418 00:21:48,166 --> 00:21:50,076 what I thought a cat ought to be 419 00:21:50,166 --> 00:21:51,916 instead of what you really are. 420 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,500 I'm sorry. 421 00:21:53,583 --> 00:21:54,923 You know, I'm not. 422 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,250 Sometimes it takes the humiliation 423 00:21:57,333 --> 00:22:00,633 and utter degradation of trying to be what you aren't 424 00:22:00,709 --> 00:22:03,289 in order to appreciate what you really are. 425 00:22:03,375 --> 00:22:05,825 I may be an old fur blob, Leonard, 426 00:22:05,917 --> 00:22:08,787 but, by golly, I'm a fantastic old fur blob, 427 00:22:08,875 --> 00:22:10,705 don't you think? 428 00:22:10,792 --> 00:22:14,132 It's your world, baby. I'm just living in it.