1
00:00:00,354 --> 00:00:01,479
♪ Born on the wrong end
Of the leash ♪

2
00:00:01,563 --> 00:00:04,104
-♪ He was a dreamer ♪
-♪ And a little schemer ♪

3
00:00:04,187 --> 00:00:05,813
♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪

4
00:00:05,896 --> 00:00:07,438
♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪

5
00:00:07,521 --> 00:00:08,354
♪ He'd start to drool ♪

6
00:00:08,438 --> 00:00:10,146
-♪ One day he says ♪
-♪ I'll take a chance ♪

7
00:00:10,229 --> 00:00:11,855
♪ Trades his leash
For a pair of pants ♪

8
00:00:11,938 --> 00:00:14,229
♪ In a glance, school becomes
His favorite pastime ♪

9
00:00:14,312 --> 00:00:16,604
♪ I have buried a bone
For the last time ♪

10
00:00:16,688 --> 00:00:18,312
-♪ He says ♪
-♪ I want to be a boy ♪

11
00:00:18,396 --> 00:00:19,646
♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪

12
00:00:19,730 --> 00:00:21,146
♪ He's so over just being rover ♪

13
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:22,604
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪

14
00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:25,062
♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪

15
00:00:25,146 --> 00:00:26,688
♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪

16
00:00:26,771 --> 00:00:28,438
♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪

17
00:00:28,521 --> 00:00:30,980
Why can't I be a normal kid
like any other?

18
00:00:31,062 --> 00:00:33,146
Now, doodle bug, listen to mother.

19
00:00:33,229 --> 00:00:34,938
♪ I want to be a boy ♪

20
00:00:35,021 --> 00:00:36,938
I hate dogs.

21
00:00:37,021 --> 00:00:39,479
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪

22
00:00:39,563 --> 00:00:41,479
♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪

23
00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:43,521
I do not wish to be a dog.

24
00:00:43,604 --> 00:00:46,104
♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪

25
00:00:46,187 --> 00:00:47,521
♪ I got to be a boy ♪

26
00:00:47,604 --> 00:00:49,104
♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪

27
00:00:49,187 --> 00:00:52,229
♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪

28
00:00:52,312 --> 00:00:54,146
Yes!

29
00:01:22,688 --> 00:01:26,312
Finally, my salt-and-flour map
of Uruguay is finished.

30
00:01:26,396 --> 00:01:27,688
How does it look?

31
00:01:27,771 --> 00:01:31,229
Uh, I'd say it's
just a dead ringer.

32
00:01:31,312 --> 00:01:32,229
[sniffing]

33
00:01:32,312 --> 00:01:34,146
Why does it smell
like Vermont?

34
00:01:34,229 --> 00:01:35,521
I ran out of salt,

35
00:01:35,604 --> 00:01:38,354
so I used Mr. Jolly's
pine-scented cat litter

36
00:01:38,438 --> 00:01:39,771
for the mountains.

37
00:01:39,855 --> 00:01:42,187
[chuckles] No wonder
I was drawn to it!

38
00:01:42,271 --> 00:01:43,730
[sniffs]

39
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:53,980
Ahh!

40
00:01:54,062 --> 00:01:55,896
What a glorious morning!

41
00:01:55,980 --> 00:01:58,604
Unlike Leonard, who waited till
the last minute,

42
00:01:58,688 --> 00:02:01,104
I worked on my map of Argentina
in a timely manner

43
00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:04,104
over the month allotted
for said assignment.

44
00:02:06,521 --> 00:02:08,021
♪ Yah ta-ta-ta ♪

45
00:02:08,104 --> 00:02:10,938
El presidente has entered
the building!

46
00:02:11,021 --> 00:02:13,521
Next to you,
I look like a loser.

47
00:02:13,604 --> 00:02:16,021
Ah, an accurate assessment,
Leonard,

48
00:02:16,104 --> 00:02:17,938
because you're a peasant

49
00:02:18,021 --> 00:02:20,771
while I'm a former Argentinean dictator.

50
00:02:20,855 --> 00:02:22,396
I wish I was a dictator.

51
00:02:22,479 --> 00:02:24,146
We can't all be dictators.

52
00:02:24,229 --> 00:02:25,771
After all, without peasants,

53
00:02:25,855 --> 00:02:28,604
we dictators would have
no one to... dictate to.

54
00:02:28,688 --> 00:02:30,980
Uh, to whom we dictate to.

55
00:02:31,062 --> 00:02:33,187
To whom
which to we dictate to.

56
00:02:33,271 --> 00:02:35,104
Ah, give me a break!

57
00:02:35,187 --> 00:02:36,563
No habla inglés.

58
00:02:36,646 --> 00:02:39,062
[woman chanting in Spanish]

59
00:02:39,146 --> 00:02:42,021
[upbeat Spanish music plays]

60
00:02:45,229 --> 00:02:47,021
Looks like
I'm not the only one

61
00:02:47,104 --> 00:02:49,021
who waited
until the last minute.

62
00:02:49,104 --> 00:02:50,688
[whistle blows]

63
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,730
Wow!

64
00:02:52,813 --> 00:02:56,438
Careful, Leonard, you'll drool
on Leslie's outfit.

65
00:02:56,521 --> 00:03:00,021
Obviously a costume typical of
carnival in Rio de Janeiro,

66
00:03:00,104 --> 00:03:00,938
Brazil.

67
00:03:01,021 --> 00:03:03,521
Oh, Scott, you're so
knowledgeable...

68
00:03:03,604 --> 00:03:04,688
And so well-dressed!

69
00:03:04,771 --> 00:03:05,938
You must be--

70
00:03:06,021 --> 00:03:07,813
don't tell me.
Let me guess.

71
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,563
Juan Domingo Perón--

72
00:03:09,646 --> 00:03:13,271
Argentine dictator off and on
from 1946 to 1974.

73
00:03:13,354 --> 00:03:14,855
Buena, señorita.

74
00:03:14,938 --> 00:03:16,938
For that, I shall appoint you
head of the treasury.

75
00:03:17,021 --> 00:03:18,271
[Giggles]

76
00:03:18,354 --> 00:03:20,938
What do you think of my costume?
I'm a Uruguayan peasant.

77
00:03:21,021 --> 00:03:22,563
Yours?

78
00:03:22,646 --> 00:03:26,688
Uh, well, it's, uh...
Authentic.

79
00:03:28,271 --> 00:03:30,438
[scoffs]
Authentic for a loser.

80
00:03:30,521 --> 00:03:32,896
At least he's chosen
to wear a costume.

81
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,896
Hey, soccer is the national
sport of Venezuela.

82
00:03:35,980 --> 00:03:39,104
Besides, I have
a soccer match later today.

83
00:03:39,187 --> 00:03:40,813
What's your excuse, Scott?

84
00:03:40,896 --> 00:03:42,855
You run out of beanie caps?

85
00:03:42,938 --> 00:03:46,521
If you care to address me,
please do so as "sir,"

86
00:03:46,604 --> 00:03:49,396
"your highness," or
"El presidente."

87
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,146
Ooh!

88
00:03:51,229 --> 00:03:52,896
Whoa!

89
00:03:52,980 --> 00:03:54,896
Check out Chelsea and Kelsey.

90
00:03:54,980 --> 00:03:56,521
Ladies, can-can dancers?

91
00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:59,021
The last time I looked,
France was in Europe,

92
00:03:59,104 --> 00:04:00,938
not South America.

93
00:04:01,021 --> 00:04:03,021
-We represent French Guiana.
-We represent French Guiana.

94
00:04:03,104 --> 00:04:05,771
Then, to quote the French,
"touché."

95
00:04:05,855 --> 00:04:08,021
[giggles] You said "tushie."

96
00:04:08,104 --> 00:04:11,062
[giggling] Scott said "tushie."

97
00:04:11,146 --> 00:04:15,938
Ah, that can only be the
sardonic wit of Ian Wazselewski.

98
00:04:16,021 --> 00:04:20,062
I'm not Ian.
I'm a llama!

99
00:04:20,146 --> 00:04:22,354
Llamas are native to Peru.

100
00:04:22,438 --> 00:04:23,855
A perfect choice for you,

101
00:04:23,938 --> 00:04:26,438
since llamas are noted
for their ability to spit.

102
00:04:26,521 --> 00:04:27,855
Doofus!

103
00:04:27,938 --> 00:04:30,104
That's not
why I chose Peru!

104
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:33,896
I did it so I could be close to
the future Mrs. Wazselewski--

105
00:04:33,980 --> 00:04:35,646
Ruth!

106
00:04:35,730 --> 00:04:37,187
Peru and Bolivia share a border

107
00:04:37,271 --> 00:04:41,146
and the largest lake on
the continent, Lake Titicaca.

108
00:04:41,229 --> 00:04:42,146
First of all, let me
congratulate you

109
00:04:42,229 --> 00:04:43,396
for not sniggering

110
00:04:43,479 --> 00:04:45,980
at the mention of the lake
with the unfortunate name.

111
00:04:46,062 --> 00:04:47,229
But more importantly,

112
00:04:47,312 --> 00:04:50,104
that's not why you choose
a country to study, Ian!

113
00:04:50,187 --> 00:04:51,271
Look at Leonard.

114
00:04:51,354 --> 00:04:52,688
He chose Uruguay

115
00:04:52,771 --> 00:04:54,813
because he wanted to learn
more about its people,

116
00:04:54,896 --> 00:04:55,938
its culture, its history.

117
00:04:56,021 --> 00:04:59,688
Not because it's next to...
Leslie Dunkling's Brazil.

118
00:04:59,771 --> 00:05:02,521
Dare I say it again?
Touché.

119
00:05:02,604 --> 00:05:03,771
You said--

120
00:05:03,855 --> 00:05:05,271
not a word, Ian.

121
00:05:05,354 --> 00:05:06,688
All right, class.

122
00:05:06,771 --> 00:05:09,980
I cleared room on this bookcase
for your maps.

123
00:05:10,062 --> 00:05:13,062
Leslie, since Brazil is
the largest country

124
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,187
in South America,

125
00:05:14,271 --> 00:05:16,396
would you bring yours up first?

126
00:05:16,479 --> 00:05:17,980
Look at her map!

127
00:05:18,062 --> 00:05:19,146
Wow!

128
00:05:19,229 --> 00:05:21,312
Look at the spectacular colors,

129
00:05:21,396 --> 00:05:23,146
the verdant green
of the rain forest,

130
00:05:23,229 --> 00:05:25,146
the azure blue
of the Amazon River.

131
00:05:25,229 --> 00:05:27,062
She used colored sugar.

132
00:05:27,146 --> 00:05:28,146
Colored sugar?!

133
00:05:28,229 --> 00:05:30,146
Leonard,
is there a problem?

134
00:05:30,229 --> 00:05:32,855
I thought these were supposed to
be salt-and-flour maps.

135
00:05:32,938 --> 00:05:35,021
I didn't know you could use
colored sugar.

136
00:05:35,104 --> 00:05:38,104
Well, honey, ha ha!
I didn't say you couldn't.

137
00:05:38,187 --> 00:05:39,938
In the words of you young people

138
00:05:40,021 --> 00:05:42,354
and the national security agency,

139
00:05:42,438 --> 00:05:44,104
Leslie thought
"outside the box."

140
00:05:44,187 --> 00:05:46,146
She showed initiative.

141
00:05:46,271 --> 00:05:48,062
Nice going, Leslie.

142
00:05:48,146 --> 00:05:50,563
Way to mess up
the grading curve.

143
00:05:50,646 --> 00:05:52,813
It's really pretty,
Leslie.

144
00:05:52,896 --> 00:05:56,104
Makes me wish we spent every
waking minute on ours, too.

145
00:05:56,187 --> 00:05:57,438
Uh, we?

146
00:05:57,521 --> 00:06:00,146
Excuse me. All you
did was talk on the phone.

147
00:06:00,229 --> 00:06:02,938
People like you
make me so mad!

148
00:06:03,021 --> 00:06:04,980
Okeydokey, everybody.

149
00:06:05,062 --> 00:06:06,604
Let's get our maps up here

150
00:06:06,688 --> 00:06:09,438
and gather
for a snippety-snappy snapshot.

151
00:06:10,896 --> 00:06:12,312
All righty-dighty.

152
00:06:12,396 --> 00:06:15,354
All you south Americans
say "queso!"

153
00:06:15,438 --> 00:06:17,396
[all] Queso!

154
00:06:17,479 --> 00:06:20,146
For my keepsake album.
[chuckles]

155
00:06:20,229 --> 00:06:23,021
Like I told my little Leonard--

156
00:06:23,104 --> 00:06:26,021
a picture is like
a little frozen memory.

157
00:06:26,104 --> 00:06:27,563
[bell rings]

158
00:06:27,646 --> 00:06:29,021
Recess! Finally!

159
00:06:29,104 --> 00:06:32,604
Oh, oh, after recess, Leslie,
you'll make your presentation,

160
00:06:32,688 --> 00:06:34,021
and then you, Leonard.

161
00:06:34,104 --> 00:06:35,438
Me?
Oh, great.

162
00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:39,229
It's bad enough I have to get up
in front of the whole class,

163
00:06:39,312 --> 00:06:41,855
but there's no way
I can follow Leslie.

164
00:06:41,938 --> 00:06:44,521
Next to hers,
my map looks like garbage.

165
00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:46,187
What did you expect?

166
00:06:46,271 --> 00:06:49,521
You made it out of salt, flour,
cat litter, and garbage.

167
00:06:49,604 --> 00:06:53,896
Ah, it worries me to see
a peon so troubled.

168
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:57,312
I'm not a peon,
but I am Leonard Helperman,

169
00:06:57,396 --> 00:06:59,146
and I'll always be
Leonard Helperman,

170
00:06:59,229 --> 00:07:01,438
and I'll always get the short
end of the stick.

171
00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:03,980
Exactamente.
No importa.

172
00:07:04,062 --> 00:07:06,604
Why worry about it,
my child?

173
00:07:06,688 --> 00:07:09,980
Qué será será--
what will be will be.

174
00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:11,646
You're right.

175
00:07:11,730 --> 00:07:14,688
There's nothing I can do about
it, so why should I worry?

176
00:07:14,771 --> 00:07:17,104
I'll just do it.
Thanks, El presidente.

177
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,479
I feel better already.

178
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,604
A little advice
from a dictator--

179
00:07:20,688 --> 00:07:22,187
never let them see you sweat.

180
00:07:22,271 --> 00:07:25,187
Oh, right!
I'll be right back.

181
00:07:27,438 --> 00:07:28,438
[all gasp]

182
00:07:28,521 --> 00:07:29,855
What's holding up
the line?

183
00:07:29,938 --> 00:07:32,563
Make way for those
thirsting for knowledge.

184
00:07:32,646 --> 00:07:34,813
Leonard!

185
00:07:34,896 --> 00:07:36,604
Aaaah!

186
00:07:36,688 --> 00:07:38,396
My map!

187
00:07:45,771 --> 00:07:47,187
Need I remind you--

188
00:07:47,271 --> 00:07:50,229
the punishment for deliberately
destroying

189
00:07:50,312 --> 00:07:53,563
another student's...

190
00:07:53,646 --> 00:07:55,730
[gulps]

191
00:07:55,813 --> 00:07:59,396
Delicious-- I-I mean,
delicate project,

192
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,938
is no recess until college?

193
00:08:02,021 --> 00:08:04,896
What have I done wrong
to cause my own son

194
00:08:04,980 --> 00:08:08,521
to be accused of destroying
another student's project?!

195
00:08:08,604 --> 00:08:10,146
[cries, blows nose]

196
00:08:10,229 --> 00:08:12,312
Mom, I didn't break Leslie's map
of Brazil.

197
00:08:12,396 --> 00:08:13,730
Someone else did.

198
00:08:13,813 --> 00:08:16,730
Oh, really? Didn't you
say-- and I quote--

199
00:08:16,813 --> 00:08:19,604
"Next to hers, my map
looks like garbage"?

200
00:08:19,688 --> 00:08:20,771
Yes.

201
00:08:20,855 --> 00:08:22,396
And at recess,

202
00:08:22,479 --> 00:08:24,563
didn't you say you weren't
worried anymore

203
00:08:24,646 --> 00:08:27,521
because you were going to--
and again I quote-- "do it"?

204
00:08:27,604 --> 00:08:29,021
Yes, but--

205
00:08:29,104 --> 00:08:30,646
and didn't everyone
in your class

206
00:08:30,730 --> 00:08:32,438
see you holding
the broken map?

207
00:08:32,521 --> 00:08:33,646
Yes, but--

208
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:35,813
motive, opportunity,
witnesses--

209
00:08:35,896 --> 00:08:37,563
yes, sir.

210
00:08:37,646 --> 00:08:41,896
You have to get up pretty early
before morning announcements

211
00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:44,604
to trick
Principal Strickler.

212
00:08:44,688 --> 00:08:47,855
Leonard Helperman, I can't
believe that you, of all people,

213
00:08:47,938 --> 00:08:49,146
would break my map.

214
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,688
I'm gonna hate you
for the rest of my life.

215
00:08:51,771 --> 00:08:52,896
I know it looks bad,

216
00:08:52,980 --> 00:08:54,813
but let me tell you
what happened.

217
00:08:54,896 --> 00:08:57,521
I was coming back from wiping
the sweat off my face

218
00:08:57,604 --> 00:09:00,521
when I saw Leslie's map
was on the floor-- broken.

219
00:09:00,604 --> 00:09:01,855
Aaaah!

220
00:09:01,938 --> 00:09:05,730
So I picked it up thinking
if I could fix it,

221
00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:07,521
Leslie would think
I was a-- a hero.

222
00:09:07,604 --> 00:09:10,479
Oh, Leonard,
you're my hero!

223
00:09:10,563 --> 00:09:11,396
[bell rings]

224
00:09:11,479 --> 00:09:13,604
But before I could fix it,
recess ended.

225
00:09:13,688 --> 00:09:15,104
Aaaaah!

226
00:09:15,187 --> 00:09:16,104
Ha!

227
00:09:16,187 --> 00:09:18,646
The patchwork story
of a guilty person.

228
00:09:18,730 --> 00:09:21,604
Do you expect a professional
of my experience

229
00:09:21,688 --> 00:09:23,021
to buy that malarky?

230
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,271
I do!

231
00:09:24,354 --> 00:09:27,187
Not only that, but I'll
prove Leonard is innocent.

232
00:09:27,271 --> 00:09:29,062
How can you possibly
do that?

233
00:09:29,146 --> 00:09:32,354
By becoming the ultimate
detective--

234
00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:35,312
Scottlock Holmes
at your service.

235
00:09:35,396 --> 00:09:39,646
Oh, Scott, if only every boy
could grow up to be like you.

236
00:09:39,730 --> 00:09:44,312
Please do whatever it takes to
save my precious babykins!

237
00:09:44,396 --> 00:09:45,354
Oh oh oh!

238
00:09:45,438 --> 00:09:47,855
Mom!
They're staring at us.

239
00:09:47,938 --> 00:09:50,229
This is a mockery
of the detention process.

240
00:09:50,312 --> 00:09:53,604
You see, my good sir, you
wrongly accuse Leonard

241
00:09:53,688 --> 00:09:56,646
based on hearsay and
circumstantial evidence.

242
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:58,146
You have no proof.

243
00:09:58,229 --> 00:09:59,730
You, the entire class

244
00:09:59,813 --> 00:10:02,438
saw him holding
the broken map!

245
00:10:02,521 --> 00:10:03,730
Precisely.

246
00:10:03,813 --> 00:10:06,604
We saw him holding
the broken map.

247
00:10:06,688 --> 00:10:09,146
We did not see him
break it.

248
00:10:09,229 --> 00:10:13,604
Well, Mr. Ultimate Detective,
here's an ultimatum--

249
00:10:13,688 --> 00:10:17,771
you have until the end of
the day to prove your case

250
00:10:17,855 --> 00:10:21,688
or it's no recess
until college for babykins.

251
00:10:23,730 --> 00:10:25,146
Thanks for believing me.

252
00:10:25,312 --> 00:10:27,855
One down, and the remainder
of the school to go.

253
00:10:27,938 --> 00:10:30,646
All because I wanted to be
a hero for Leslie.

254
00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:31,813
Now she hates me.

255
00:10:31,896 --> 00:10:34,229
I might as well give up
and plead for mercy.

256
00:10:34,312 --> 00:10:35,521
Fear not, my dear man,

257
00:10:35,604 --> 00:10:39,521
for I have an ability that will
allow me to unravel the mystery

258
00:10:39,604 --> 00:10:40,730
of the broken Brazil.

259
00:10:40,813 --> 00:10:42,604
Your canine sense of smell?

260
00:10:42,688 --> 00:10:44,604
Well,
that goes without saying.

261
00:10:44,688 --> 00:10:47,855
I was referring to deductive
reasoning skills I've acquired

262
00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:50,479
reading all the Sherlock Holmes
mysteries

263
00:10:50,563 --> 00:10:51,896
by sir Arthur Conan Doyle,

264
00:10:51,980 --> 00:10:55,396
my personal favorite being
"The Hound Of The Baskervilles."

265
00:10:55,479 --> 00:10:57,980
So that would make me your
assistant-- Dr. Watson.

266
00:10:58,062 --> 00:11:00,646
Don't stretch, Lenny. You don't
have an advanced degree.

267
00:11:00,730 --> 00:11:02,688
Why, you're barely passing
fourth grade.

268
00:11:02,771 --> 00:11:05,604
Good day,
my good fellows and ladies.

269
00:11:05,688 --> 00:11:09,062
Scottlock Holmes
at your service.

270
00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:10,479
With Mrs. Helperman's
permission,

271
00:11:10,563 --> 00:11:13,062
I am on a quest
to find the party responsible

272
00:11:13,146 --> 00:11:15,521
for Leslie Dunkling's misfortune.

273
00:11:15,604 --> 00:11:18,062
I thought Principal Strickler
said it was Leonard.

274
00:11:18,146 --> 00:11:20,187
Please.
Use your deductive reasoning.

275
00:11:20,271 --> 00:11:21,521
If I thought Leonard did it,

276
00:11:21,604 --> 00:11:23,855
would I be looking
for the person who did?

277
00:11:23,938 --> 00:11:26,521
Well, if it wasn't Leonard,
who else could it be?

278
00:11:26,604 --> 00:11:27,563
We suspect you...

279
00:11:27,646 --> 00:11:30,688
And you... and you--
all of you!

280
00:11:30,771 --> 00:11:32,104
[Clears throat]

281
00:11:32,187 --> 00:11:34,730
What my assistant is saying
is that until I conduct

282
00:11:34,813 --> 00:11:36,563
a thorough scientific
investigation

283
00:11:36,646 --> 00:11:38,813
which will serve to
eliminate the innocent,

284
00:11:38,896 --> 00:11:41,604
no one is to leave this room!

285
00:11:44,896 --> 00:11:46,938
[sniffs]
Hmm.

286
00:11:47,021 --> 00:11:50,896
Chelsea, this morning
when Mrs. H. rewarded me

287
00:11:50,980 --> 00:11:52,604
for outstanding achievement
in class decorum

288
00:11:52,688 --> 00:11:55,354
and selected me
to collect the homework,

289
00:11:55,438 --> 00:11:57,771
I don't recall
picking up your paper.

290
00:12:00,604 --> 00:12:02,855
Would you care to explain?

291
00:12:02,938 --> 00:12:04,688
My hair was a mess.

292
00:12:04,771 --> 00:12:06,896
You're saying looks
are more important to you

293
00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:08,479
than handing in
your homework?!

294
00:12:08,563 --> 00:12:09,604
Duh!

295
00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:11,062
Look at me!

296
00:12:11,146 --> 00:12:13,229
Yet, here it is now!

297
00:12:13,312 --> 00:12:14,938
I submit that...

298
00:12:15,021 --> 00:12:17,646
[Leonard] She snuck it into
the stack during recess.

299
00:12:17,730 --> 00:12:20,354
And that's when she knocked
Leslie's map to the floor.

300
00:12:21,646 --> 00:12:22,855
Okay, I did
the homework thing,

301
00:12:22,938 --> 00:12:25,855
but I didn't break
Leslie's map, really.

302
00:12:25,938 --> 00:12:27,354
It must have been Kelsey.
She was over by the maps.

303
00:12:27,438 --> 00:12:30,813
Me?! What are saying?
You're my best friend!

304
00:12:30,896 --> 00:12:33,938
We swore an oath
on my cd collection!

305
00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:35,688
So you broke
Leslie's map!

306
00:12:35,771 --> 00:12:36,646
No, no, no, no, no!

307
00:12:36,730 --> 00:12:39,479
I was opening the window
to let in some fresh air.

308
00:12:39,563 --> 00:12:41,563
Or did you open the window

309
00:12:41,646 --> 00:12:44,730
to cover up
what you were really doing?

310
00:12:44,813 --> 00:12:45,938
Okay, I admit it.

311
00:12:46,021 --> 00:12:47,813
I didn't want Chelsea
to know

312
00:12:47,896 --> 00:12:50,479
I was putting a note
in Tyler's desk

313
00:12:50,563 --> 00:12:53,104
because Chelsea thinks
Tyler's a dweeb.

314
00:12:53,187 --> 00:12:55,021
That was you
leaving those notes?

315
00:12:55,104 --> 00:12:56,604
I thought you liked Trevor.

316
00:12:56,688 --> 00:12:58,730
Trevor?!
Ugh!

317
00:12:58,813 --> 00:12:59,980
Chelsea's the one
who likes Trevor.

318
00:13:00,062 --> 00:13:01,104
Kelsey!

319
00:13:01,187 --> 00:13:04,021
I'd rather be with Leonard
than Trevor.

320
00:13:04,104 --> 00:13:05,771
I knew somehow
this would come back to me.

321
00:13:05,855 --> 00:13:07,980
Thanks for the humiliation, Chelsea!

322
00:13:08,062 --> 00:13:11,896
But I didn't break the map.
I say Younghee did it.

323
00:13:11,980 --> 00:13:13,438
I saw her moving Leslie's map,

324
00:13:13,521 --> 00:13:14,938
and everyone she was jealous of it.

325
00:13:15,021 --> 00:13:18,021
People like you
make me so mad!

326
00:13:18,104 --> 00:13:19,229
Not so fast.

327
00:13:19,312 --> 00:13:21,896
I believe Younghee
was referring to an incident

328
00:13:21,980 --> 00:13:24,396
that happened earlier
in the morning

329
00:13:24,479 --> 00:13:26,855
when Leslie took cuts
in front of her.

330
00:13:26,938 --> 00:13:29,229
It's like I have a sign
that says,

331
00:13:29,312 --> 00:13:32,229
"take cutsies. I'm a wimp
like Leonard Helperman."

332
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,396
That's why I was mad at Leslie.

333
00:13:34,479 --> 00:13:36,980
And I deduced
the reason you moved Brazil

334
00:13:37,062 --> 00:13:38,646
was to put Chile in the sun

335
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:42,187
since the capital of Chile,
Santiago, is still wet!

336
00:13:42,271 --> 00:13:45,396
Yes, yes, that's it!
I didn't break Brazil.

337
00:13:45,479 --> 00:13:46,646
Ruth did it.

338
00:13:46,730 --> 00:13:48,312
Wait! I can explain.

339
00:13:48,396 --> 00:13:49,479
No need to.

340
00:13:49,563 --> 00:13:52,312
It's obvious
to the well-trained eye

341
00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:56,479
that you didn't want Bolivia
to be next to Ian's Peru,

342
00:13:56,563 --> 00:13:59,312
so you moved it farther west
to make room for Bolivia.

343
00:13:59,396 --> 00:14:02,354
No! Stop!
Don't accuse Ruth.

344
00:14:02,438 --> 00:14:06,563
I admit it.
It was me! I did it!

345
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:07,730
[all gasp]

346
00:14:07,813 --> 00:14:11,730
So, Ian, you admit you broke
Leslie's map!

347
00:14:11,813 --> 00:14:15,062
Nah, I just wanted Leonard
to get his hopes up.

348
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:17,396
Everyone knows he did it.

349
00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:26,980
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

350
00:14:27,062 --> 00:14:28,938
Did you see Leonard's face

351
00:14:29,021 --> 00:14:31,396
when I said I broke
Leslie's map of Brazil?

352
00:14:32,563 --> 00:14:34,354
Am I a riot or what?

353
00:14:34,438 --> 00:14:35,521
Ha ha ha ha!

354
00:14:35,604 --> 00:14:38,855
Thank you, Ian, for sharing your
finely honed sense of humor.

355
00:14:38,938 --> 00:14:40,688
But if it's
not asking too much,

356
00:14:40,771 --> 00:14:43,438
tell us exactly
what you did during recess.

357
00:14:43,521 --> 00:14:48,187
Well, when my beloved Ruth put
Bolivia next to Brazil...

358
00:14:50,521 --> 00:14:54,855
...i put my Peru as close to
Bolivia as I could,

359
00:14:54,938 --> 00:14:58,771
hoping she would want
to form an alliance.

360
00:14:58,855 --> 00:14:59,980
Ew!

361
00:15:00,062 --> 00:15:02,146
[sniffs]

362
00:15:02,229 --> 00:15:04,980
Uh, you didn't use paste,
did you, Ian?

363
00:15:05,062 --> 00:15:08,312
No. I can't be trusted
not to eat the paste,

364
00:15:08,396 --> 00:15:09,813
so I had to use glue.

365
00:15:09,896 --> 00:15:13,479
So, you assembled your map
with a glue stick.

366
00:15:13,563 --> 00:15:15,396
And just a skosh
of earwax.

367
00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:16,771
I'll show you.

368
00:15:16,855 --> 00:15:18,021
[all] Eww!

369
00:15:18,104 --> 00:15:19,563
No need for that.

370
00:15:19,646 --> 00:15:23,646
However, I think we understand
why Ruth wanted to move her map.

371
00:15:23,730 --> 00:15:25,813
So, by process of elimination,

372
00:15:25,896 --> 00:15:29,438
I have ruled out Chelsea,
Kelsey, younghee, Ruth,

373
00:15:29,521 --> 00:15:30,855
and Ian as suspects.

374
00:15:30,938 --> 00:15:34,062
We know Leslie didn't do it,
and of course,

375
00:15:34,146 --> 00:15:35,604
I know I didn't do it.

376
00:15:35,688 --> 00:15:39,312
That leaves only one possible
culprit-- Leonard Helperman!

377
00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:40,479
[all gasp]

378
00:15:40,563 --> 00:15:42,438
Oops. Heh.
Sorry about that, Leonard.

379
00:15:42,521 --> 00:15:45,187
I thought I had that deductive
reasoning thing down.

380
00:15:45,271 --> 00:15:46,604
Well, back to the drawing board.

381
00:15:46,688 --> 00:15:49,271
Look, "Scottlock," maybe
I should just take the rap

382
00:15:49,354 --> 00:15:51,980
so everybody can go back to
talking to each other.

383
00:15:52,062 --> 00:15:53,896
Cop a plea to appease
the man?! Never!

384
00:15:53,980 --> 00:15:56,521
There's still more here
than meets the eye.

385
00:15:56,604 --> 00:15:57,771
Isn't it a fact, Leslie,

386
00:15:57,855 --> 00:16:00,563
that you went to Leonard's house
to borrow paste?

387
00:16:00,646 --> 00:16:02,438
Well, yes.

388
00:16:02,521 --> 00:16:05,396
I ran out while I was gluing
down the rain forest.

389
00:16:05,479 --> 00:16:07,688
So I went to see
if Leonard had any extra.

390
00:16:07,771 --> 00:16:08,771
[panting]

391
00:16:08,855 --> 00:16:10,521
[slurping]

392
00:16:10,604 --> 00:16:13,438
But how did you know?
No one was there but Spot.

393
00:16:13,521 --> 00:16:15,229
Uh, that smudge on your shoe--

394
00:16:15,312 --> 00:16:19,479
it consists of dog hair, cat
fur, and bird droppings,

395
00:16:19,563 --> 00:16:20,771
the combination of which

396
00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:22,730
could only be found on
the Helperman welcome mat!

397
00:16:22,813 --> 00:16:26,187
[gasps]
He's right. Oh, he is good.

398
00:16:26,271 --> 00:16:28,021
I didn't break my own map.

399
00:16:28,104 --> 00:16:31,521
No, but you have provided me
with the final clue

400
00:16:31,604 --> 00:16:33,396
to break this case wide open!

401
00:16:33,479 --> 00:16:37,187
Mrs. Helperman, if you summon
Principal Strickler,

402
00:16:37,271 --> 00:16:39,479
I will reveal the true culprit.

403
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:42,271
Well,
tell me who did it,

404
00:16:42,354 --> 00:16:44,813
and the full weight
of the public school system

405
00:16:44,896 --> 00:16:47,771
will come crashing down
on their head.

406
00:16:47,855 --> 00:16:51,104
Leslie's map was broken by...

407
00:16:51,187 --> 00:16:53,646
No one... and everyone.

408
00:16:53,730 --> 00:16:56,563
Excuse me? Is this supposed
to be a joke?

409
00:16:56,646 --> 00:16:58,938
No. It would have been a joke
if I had said, "knock knock,"

410
00:16:59,021 --> 00:17:00,730
and you would have said,
"who's there?"

411
00:17:00,813 --> 00:17:02,521
Enough!
I get the point.

412
00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:03,896
Just explain to me

413
00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:06,521
why I can't ban
Leonard Helperman from recess

414
00:17:06,604 --> 00:17:07,980
till college!

415
00:17:08,062 --> 00:17:10,479
To do that, let me take
everyone back in time

416
00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:12,312
to the scene of the crime--

417
00:17:12,396 --> 00:17:15,646
not literally, of course, but
verbally and with visual aids.

418
00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:18,730
Chelsea snuck back in to replace
her missing homework

419
00:17:18,813 --> 00:17:20,479
while Kelsey opened a window

420
00:17:20,563 --> 00:17:23,021
to cover her slipping a note
in Tyler's desk.

421
00:17:23,104 --> 00:17:25,688
Younghee moved Brazil to
the edge of the shelf

422
00:17:25,771 --> 00:17:28,479
so Santiago, the capital
of Chile, could dry.

423
00:17:28,563 --> 00:17:31,396
Then Ruth, smelling Ian's Peru,
moved her Bolivia,

424
00:17:31,479 --> 00:17:32,604
pushing Leslie's Brazil

425
00:17:32,688 --> 00:17:35,021
partially over the edge
of the shelf.

426
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:37,438
And, finally,
Ian countered Ruth's move

427
00:17:37,521 --> 00:17:39,646
by placing his earwax-glued map
of Peru

428
00:17:39,730 --> 00:17:41,855
on the shelf
above Leslie's Brazil!

429
00:17:41,938 --> 00:17:45,771
Each of these acts by themselves
didn't break Leslie's map,

430
00:17:45,855 --> 00:17:48,938
but put together in a bizarre
chain of events...

431
00:17:49,021 --> 00:17:49,980
Yes, yes!

432
00:17:51,563 --> 00:17:52,604
With the window open,
Ian's earwax dried,

433
00:17:52,688 --> 00:17:56,396
his Lake Titicaca toppled
into Leslie's rain forest.

434
00:17:56,479 --> 00:17:58,604
Because it wasn't glued down,
it rolled down her map,

435
00:17:58,688 --> 00:18:00,646
causing Brazil to fall
over the edge!

436
00:18:00,730 --> 00:18:02,771
[all exclaim]

437
00:18:02,855 --> 00:18:04,104
I don't buy it.

438
00:18:04,187 --> 00:18:07,396
What kind of a school principal
do you think I am?

439
00:18:07,479 --> 00:18:10,563
Elementary, my dear principal,
elementary.

440
00:18:10,646 --> 00:18:13,354
Either you show me
one shred of solid evidence

441
00:18:13,438 --> 00:18:15,813
to support
your cockamamie theory,

442
00:18:15,896 --> 00:18:19,271
or it'll be no recess until
college for both of you.

443
00:18:19,354 --> 00:18:21,187
Is that elementary enough?

444
00:18:21,271 --> 00:18:24,229
Evidence? Yeah, that's it.
Of course.

445
00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:25,354
You expect evidence.

446
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,271
But that's what
I wanted you to say

447
00:18:27,354 --> 00:18:29,730
because you don't need evidence
because--

448
00:18:29,813 --> 00:18:31,438
if you remember
anything, kid,

449
00:18:31,521 --> 00:18:33,604
now would be the time
to speak up.

450
00:18:33,688 --> 00:18:35,396
The picture my mom took.

451
00:18:35,479 --> 00:18:36,563
Oh, here it is.

452
00:18:39,312 --> 00:18:42,688
My dear sir, here is
all the proof you need

453
00:18:42,771 --> 00:18:46,563
thanks to my trusty assistant,
Dr. Helperman.

454
00:18:46,646 --> 00:18:49,187
I think your saving my tushie
was worth conferring upon you

455
00:18:49,271 --> 00:18:50,563
an honorary
doctorate degree.

456
00:18:50,646 --> 00:18:53,563
Ha ha!
You said "tushie" again.

457
00:18:53,771 --> 00:18:56,146
Note the original positions
of the maps

458
00:18:56,229 --> 00:18:58,604
and the closed window
before recess,

459
00:18:58,688 --> 00:19:02,104
as opposed to the open window
and new positions of the maps.

460
00:19:02,187 --> 00:19:04,146
Hmm.

461
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:08,938
I suppose...

462
00:19:09,021 --> 00:19:11,604
And if you look closely
at the desk legs,

463
00:19:11,688 --> 00:19:13,396
you'll see splatters of sugar

464
00:19:13,479 --> 00:19:15,938
that match the color
of Lake Titicaca.

465
00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:17,479
Not a word, Ian.

466
00:19:17,563 --> 00:19:18,896
Hey!

467
00:19:18,980 --> 00:19:21,479
But there aren't any
on Leonard's pants leg,

468
00:19:21,563 --> 00:19:24,479
ergo, he was not near Brazil
when it fell to the floor.

469
00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:27,980
[cheers and applause]

470
00:19:28,062 --> 00:19:30,771
I'm sorry for thinking
you broke my map, Leonard.

471
00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:34,021
Oh, that's okay, Leslie.

472
00:19:34,104 --> 00:19:36,354
I mean, even I would have
thought I did it.

473
00:19:36,438 --> 00:19:37,563
Uh, I mean if I saw myself

474
00:19:37,646 --> 00:19:39,479
standing over
your busted Brazil--

475
00:19:39,563 --> 00:19:40,688
I mean, not that I...

476
00:19:40,771 --> 00:19:43,271
Accept her apology
and close your mouth.

477
00:19:43,354 --> 00:19:44,563
Right.

478
00:19:44,646 --> 00:19:46,980
Thanks, Leslie. I'm just glad
this nightmare is over.

479
00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:49,354
For you, maybe...

480
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:50,730
but wait just a minute.

481
00:19:50,813 --> 00:19:53,730
There's something else
revealed in this picture.

482
00:19:53,813 --> 00:19:57,646
A final act that led to the
destruction of Leslie's Brazil.

483
00:20:01,563 --> 00:20:03,980
The Amazon river
in the photograph

484
00:20:04,062 --> 00:20:05,896
stretches its entire distance.

485
00:20:05,980 --> 00:20:07,730
This Amazon river does not.

486
00:20:08,980 --> 00:20:11,187
You're right. So?

487
00:20:11,271 --> 00:20:13,896
So, someone else was
in the room during recess,

488
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:16,563
someone who has
a penchant for sweets,

489
00:20:16,646 --> 00:20:19,354
someone who licked off
6 centimeters of sugar--

490
00:20:19,438 --> 00:20:21,229
enough to lighten Leslie's map

491
00:20:21,229 --> 00:20:23,563
so when her rain forest
rolled forward,

492
00:20:23,646 --> 00:20:25,396
it would fall to the floor.

493
00:20:25,479 --> 00:20:28,021
You keep saying "someone."
Who is it?!

494
00:20:28,104 --> 00:20:31,688
Someone who keeps sugar-filled
candy straws in his desk.

495
00:20:31,771 --> 00:20:33,229
[all gasp]

496
00:20:33,312 --> 00:20:37,646
Principal Strickler, don't you
think we deserve the true story?

497
00:20:37,730 --> 00:20:39,980
You mean I--

498
00:20:40,062 --> 00:20:44,813
Oh, no, the shame!

499
00:20:44,896 --> 00:20:46,146
I was on my way

500
00:20:46,229 --> 00:20:49,396
to monitor playground activity
during recess

501
00:20:49,479 --> 00:20:51,354
when I saw the sugar maps.

502
00:20:51,438 --> 00:20:55,229
The Amazon river, that long
flowing ribbon of blue sugar.

503
00:20:55,312 --> 00:20:57,479
I couldn't stop myself.

504
00:21:00,438 --> 00:21:01,813
[gasps]

505
00:21:01,896 --> 00:21:05,438
Okay, okay, I have a weakness
for colored-sugar candy.

506
00:21:05,521 --> 00:21:07,688
I've had it
ever since I was a kid.

507
00:21:07,771 --> 00:21:09,479
But I had no idea my craving

508
00:21:09,563 --> 00:21:12,521
was involved in the bizarre
chain of events

509
00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:14,813
that eventually broke
Leslie's map!

510
00:21:14,896 --> 00:21:17,688
I see now I was wrong
to accuse Leonard.

511
00:21:17,771 --> 00:21:21,563
And so in the words of
Scottlock Holmes,

512
00:21:21,646 --> 00:21:25,187
"I apologize to everyone
and no one."

513
00:21:25,271 --> 00:21:27,688
Apology accepted,
Principal Strickler.

514
00:21:27,771 --> 00:21:29,146
Right, class?

515
00:21:31,604 --> 00:21:34,271
Ha ha ha! Why don't we get
right to the lesson?

516
00:21:34,354 --> 00:21:36,479
The lesson, if I may,
Mrs. H.,

517
00:21:36,563 --> 00:21:39,396
is that false accusations
lead to injustice.

518
00:21:39,479 --> 00:21:42,146
For in this great land of ours,

519
00:21:42,229 --> 00:21:44,146
every man is innocent
until proven guilty.

520
00:21:44,229 --> 00:21:47,438
History is replete with the
names of the wrongly accused--

521
00:21:47,521 --> 00:21:49,521
Sacco and Vanzetti,
Alfred Dreyfus,

522
00:21:49,604 --> 00:21:50,980
Rubin Hurricane Carter,

523
00:21:51,062 --> 00:21:54,813
and to which we can now add
the name of Leonard Helperman.

524
00:21:54,896 --> 00:21:57,229
Songs by over-the-hill singers
will extol Leonard's innocence.

525
00:21:57,312 --> 00:21:58,312
Scott!

526
00:21:58,396 --> 00:21:59,521
Huh?

527
00:21:59,604 --> 00:22:01,187
The lesson I had in mind

528
00:22:01,271 --> 00:22:03,187
was your reports
on South America.

529
00:22:03,271 --> 00:22:04,438
Principal Strickler,

530
00:22:04,521 --> 00:22:07,187
we'd be pleased as punch
to have you stay and listen.

531
00:22:07,271 --> 00:22:08,396
Principal Strickler?

532
00:22:08,479 --> 00:22:10,438
[slurping]

533
00:22:10,563 --> 00:22:13,479
[samba drums beating]