1 00:00:00,354 --> 00:00:01,479 ♪ Born on the wrong end Of the leash ♪ 2 00:00:01,563 --> 00:00:04,104 -♪ He was a dreamer ♪ -♪ And a little schemer ♪ 3 00:00:04,187 --> 00:00:05,813 ♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪ 4 00:00:05,896 --> 00:00:07,438 ♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪ 5 00:00:07,521 --> 00:00:08,354 ♪ He'd start to drool ♪ 6 00:00:08,438 --> 00:00:10,146 -♪ One day he says ♪ -♪ I'll take a chance ♪ 7 00:00:10,229 --> 00:00:11,855 ♪ Trades his leash For a pair of pants ♪ 8 00:00:11,938 --> 00:00:14,229 ♪ In a glance, school becomes His favorite pastime ♪ 9 00:00:14,312 --> 00:00:16,604 ♪ I have buried a bone For the last time ♪ 10 00:00:16,688 --> 00:00:18,312 -♪ He says ♪ -♪ I want to be a boy ♪ 11 00:00:18,396 --> 00:00:19,646 ♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪ 12 00:00:19,730 --> 00:00:21,146 ♪ He's so over just being rover ♪ 13 00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:22,604 ♪ I gotta be a boy ♪ 14 00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:25,062 ♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪ 15 00:00:25,146 --> 00:00:26,688 ♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪ 16 00:00:26,771 --> 00:00:28,438 ♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪ 17 00:00:28,521 --> 00:00:30,980 Why can't I be a normal kid like any other? 18 00:00:31,062 --> 00:00:33,146 Now, doodle bug, listen to mother. 19 00:00:33,229 --> 00:00:34,938 ♪ I want to be a boy ♪ 20 00:00:35,021 --> 00:00:36,938 I hate dogs. 21 00:00:37,021 --> 00:00:39,479 ♪ I gotta be a boy ♪ 22 00:00:39,563 --> 00:00:41,479 ♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪ 23 00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:43,521 I do not wish to be a dog. 24 00:00:43,604 --> 00:00:46,104 ♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪ 25 00:00:46,187 --> 00:00:47,521 ♪ I got to be a boy ♪ 26 00:00:47,604 --> 00:00:49,104 ♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪ 27 00:00:49,187 --> 00:00:52,229 ♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪ 28 00:00:52,312 --> 00:00:54,146 Yes! 29 00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:12,604 [alarm clock rings] 30 00:01:12,688 --> 00:01:13,521 [yawns] 31 00:01:13,938 --> 00:01:15,855 [Mrs. Helperman] Rise and shine! Ha ha! 32 00:01:15,938 --> 00:01:19,104 You two bunk buddies, get this room cleaned up. 33 00:01:20,271 --> 00:01:21,646 Ohh! 34 00:01:26,479 --> 00:01:27,396 Ung! 35 00:01:27,479 --> 00:01:28,521 Nnng! 36 00:01:28,604 --> 00:01:30,980 [thud] 37 00:01:51,563 --> 00:01:53,479 [narrator on TV] The animals of the Serengeti Plains 38 00:01:53,563 --> 00:01:54,896 are happy to have a place to cool off 39 00:01:54,980 --> 00:01:56,771 on this hot summer day. 40 00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:58,730 All is calm and serene. 41 00:01:58,813 --> 00:02:03,146 That is, until the king of the big cats arrives. 42 00:02:03,229 --> 00:02:05,896 No animal on the planet is more feared 43 00:02:05,980 --> 00:02:07,688 than the male African lion. 44 00:02:07,771 --> 00:02:10,062 I bet you didn't know we were cousins. 45 00:02:10,146 --> 00:02:13,563 A 500-pound eating machine. 46 00:02:13,646 --> 00:02:15,521 [Pretty Boy] That sounds about right. 47 00:02:15,604 --> 00:02:17,312 A fierce predator. 48 00:02:17,396 --> 00:02:18,354 Aaah! 49 00:02:18,479 --> 00:02:20,855 And there, all similarity ends. 50 00:02:20,938 --> 00:02:23,438 And a distant cousin of that cuddly tabby 51 00:02:23,521 --> 00:02:24,938 in your living room. 52 00:02:25,021 --> 00:02:27,354 See, Mr. Smarty Pants? 53 00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:28,271 [whistles] 54 00:02:29,771 --> 00:02:30,604 [yawns] 55 00:02:32,604 --> 00:02:34,771 Careful, Leo, you might throw out your back. 56 00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:36,938 You're the one who'd better be careful, 57 00:02:37,021 --> 00:02:39,396 'cause I am just a slightly smaller version 58 00:02:39,479 --> 00:02:41,521 of that killing machine on TV. 59 00:02:41,604 --> 00:02:44,771 Unfortunately, years of domestication and pampering 60 00:02:44,855 --> 00:02:47,813 have rendered today's house cat about as fierce as a butterfly. 61 00:02:47,896 --> 00:02:49,187 Huh? 62 00:02:49,271 --> 00:02:52,229 So dependent on human beings is the modern feline 63 00:02:52,312 --> 00:02:54,688 that if it weren't for the fire department, 64 00:02:54,771 --> 00:02:57,438 our trees would be filled with helpless kitties. 65 00:02:57,521 --> 00:02:59,604 Oh, yeah, that's you all over. 66 00:02:59,688 --> 00:03:01,396 Lies! Lies, all of it! Outrage! 67 00:03:01,479 --> 00:03:04,312 It's slander is what it is! I'll sue, I'll tell you! 68 00:03:04,396 --> 00:03:07,771 They'll rue the day they messed with Mr. J. Jolly Puddinpuss, 69 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,604 I'll tell you that right now. 70 00:03:09,688 --> 00:03:12,855 First of all, would the king of the jungle hire an attorney 71 00:03:12,938 --> 00:03:15,146 to gain rights to the watering hole? 72 00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:17,646 And second of all, Mr. J. Jolly Puddinpuss? 73 00:03:17,730 --> 00:03:18,938 Are you kidding me?! 74 00:03:19,187 --> 00:03:20,479 It's a family name, 75 00:03:20,563 --> 00:03:23,354 from the Louisiana Puddinpusses, if you must know. 76 00:03:23,438 --> 00:03:25,396 But you're right about one thing-- 77 00:03:25,479 --> 00:03:28,062 the only way I'm gonna reclaim my catness 78 00:03:28,146 --> 00:03:29,438 is to go out and take it. 79 00:03:29,521 --> 00:03:30,771 Now you're talking! 80 00:03:30,855 --> 00:03:33,396 From now on, you will call me Mr. Jolly. 81 00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:35,479 That's what I always call you. 82 00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:37,646 No more Mr. Nice guy for this pussycat! 83 00:03:37,730 --> 00:03:38,980 Right on, baby! 84 00:03:39,062 --> 00:03:42,604 Mr. J. is mad as heck and he's not gonna take it anymore! 85 00:03:42,688 --> 00:03:43,646 I'm a big, bad cat, 86 00:03:43,730 --> 00:03:46,438 and it's high time I started acting like one. 87 00:03:46,521 --> 00:03:48,688 You go, girl! I mean, boy. 88 00:03:48,771 --> 00:03:52,354 Right after I wake up from my little nappy-poo. 89 00:03:52,438 --> 00:03:53,271 [snoring] 90 00:03:54,438 --> 00:03:57,312 As predictable as the sunrise. 91 00:04:01,563 --> 00:04:04,062 [indistinct conversations] 92 00:04:07,563 --> 00:04:08,396 [honk] 93 00:04:09,479 --> 00:04:11,146 Yo, Kareem, how's it going? 94 00:04:11,229 --> 00:04:12,354 Pretty good. 95 00:04:12,438 --> 00:04:14,312 I'm just working on my jump shots. 96 00:04:16,730 --> 00:04:19,104 You might have better luck with that jump shot 97 00:04:19,187 --> 00:04:21,104 if you actually worked a jump into it. 98 00:04:21,187 --> 00:04:22,688 Oh, right. 99 00:04:26,604 --> 00:04:27,980 Call me crazy, 100 00:04:28,062 --> 00:04:30,438 but I'm thinking as long as you're jumping anyway, 101 00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:32,563 why not take the shot while you're up in the air? 102 00:04:32,646 --> 00:04:34,104 Hey, good idea. 103 00:04:36,396 --> 00:04:39,312 I have just one word for you, Leonard-- soccer-- 104 00:04:39,396 --> 00:04:40,563 popular the world over 105 00:04:40,646 --> 00:04:43,438 and totally not reliant on hand-eye coordination. 106 00:04:43,521 --> 00:04:44,479 Think about it. 107 00:04:44,563 --> 00:04:47,396 I guess I just wasn't meant to play the sport of kings. 108 00:04:47,479 --> 00:04:48,980 That would be horse racing, 109 00:04:49,062 --> 00:04:51,312 but you should stay away from that, too. 110 00:04:51,396 --> 00:04:53,855 Hey, you kids wanna play a little deuce on deuce? 111 00:04:53,938 --> 00:04:55,813 No, thanks. We were just leaving. 112 00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,938 What my friend meant to say is, 113 00:04:58,021 --> 00:05:00,938 "we were just leaving to try and find a game," 114 00:05:01,021 --> 00:05:03,938 but now a game has found us. We'd love to play. 115 00:05:04,021 --> 00:05:05,271 We can't play them. 116 00:05:05,354 --> 00:05:07,104 That's Max and Miles Torqueson, 117 00:05:07,187 --> 00:05:09,521 the champs of the whole fifth grade. 118 00:05:09,604 --> 00:05:11,813 Exactly, that's why we must play them. 119 00:05:11,896 --> 00:05:13,730 Are you crazy?! Look at them! 120 00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:16,146 They've gotta be, like, 5 feet tall! 121 00:05:16,229 --> 00:05:19,396 And in case you didn't notice, I stink at basketball. 122 00:05:19,479 --> 00:05:20,521 We'll be humiliated! 123 00:05:20,604 --> 00:05:24,312 Yes, but if we beat them, we'll be glorified, lauded, 124 00:05:24,396 --> 00:05:25,604 extolled, even! 125 00:05:25,688 --> 00:05:29,187 Imagine, Leonard, you and me, kings of the playground! 126 00:05:29,271 --> 00:05:30,229 [cheering, fanfare playing] 127 00:05:31,563 --> 00:05:32,396 [booing] 128 00:05:33,396 --> 00:05:34,354 I don't think so. 129 00:05:34,438 --> 00:05:35,646 You are such a bring-down! 130 00:05:36,730 --> 00:05:39,479 Look, Leonard, the reason you can't play basketball 131 00:05:39,563 --> 00:05:40,938 isn't because you can't play basketball. 132 00:05:41,021 --> 00:05:43,813 It's because you think too much about playing basketball. 133 00:05:43,896 --> 00:05:45,938 What should I think about, bowling? 134 00:05:46,021 --> 00:05:48,688 No, I think you should think about nothing. 135 00:05:48,771 --> 00:05:50,813 Now, that's something I'm good at. 136 00:05:50,896 --> 00:05:53,521 You missed my point like you missed that basket. 137 00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:56,688 You should play the game without thinking about it. 138 00:05:56,771 --> 00:05:58,688 Just let it happen. Let it flow. 139 00:05:58,771 --> 00:05:59,646 Be the ball. 140 00:05:59,730 --> 00:06:00,980 Huh? 141 00:06:01,062 --> 00:06:04,062 Look, remember how we cleaned up the room this morning? 142 00:06:04,146 --> 00:06:07,062 You didn't think about getting the toys in the closet. 143 00:06:07,146 --> 00:06:08,604 They just went in, right? 144 00:06:08,688 --> 00:06:09,730 Yeah, I guess. 145 00:06:09,813 --> 00:06:12,688 All you have to do is pretend we're cleaning up the room. 146 00:06:12,771 --> 00:06:14,021 The ball is a dirty shirt, 147 00:06:14,104 --> 00:06:16,229 and the basket is the clothes hamper. 148 00:06:16,312 --> 00:06:18,396 Go ahead, try it. 149 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,563 [East-Asian music plays] 150 00:06:24,187 --> 00:06:26,104 Yes! All right! Yeah! Whoo-hoo! 151 00:06:26,187 --> 00:06:27,604 Let's get it on! 152 00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:30,646 What my friend is trying to say is we're ready to play now. 153 00:06:30,730 --> 00:06:33,688 Okay, winner's out, 21 wins, losers begin, 154 00:06:33,771 --> 00:06:35,104 and that would be you. 155 00:06:35,187 --> 00:06:36,646 That goes without saying. 156 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,938 Remember, no thinking. 157 00:06:44,354 --> 00:06:45,688 Lucky basket. 158 00:06:45,771 --> 00:06:47,896 Come on, Max! Guard the blue kid! 159 00:06:51,021 --> 00:06:54,438 Yah! Get that garbage out of here! 160 00:06:54,521 --> 00:06:57,062 You're...very tall. 161 00:07:01,604 --> 00:07:05,771 The fearsome cat moves through the living room 162 00:07:05,855 --> 00:07:10,604 like a silent menace tracking his unsuspecting quarry. 163 00:07:10,688 --> 00:07:15,062 The unsuspecting rodent is no match for the cunning feline. 164 00:07:15,146 --> 00:07:15,980 [chuckles] 165 00:07:16,730 --> 00:07:18,438 Hey, fur ball, what's shaking? 166 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,104 Aaaah! 167 00:07:20,187 --> 00:07:21,021 [crash] 168 00:07:22,187 --> 00:07:23,021 [sighs] 169 00:07:23,396 --> 00:07:24,730 The winner! 170 00:07:24,813 --> 00:07:27,604 Beaten by a fake paper mouse! 171 00:07:27,688 --> 00:07:30,646 My, oh, my, you are one pathetic pussycat. 172 00:07:30,730 --> 00:07:34,271 That, my molting housemate, was a big mistake. 173 00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:37,354 Oh, yeah? Why? You gonna do something? 174 00:07:37,438 --> 00:07:39,980 Oh, yeah, I'm gonna do something. 175 00:07:40,062 --> 00:07:43,438 But not now, 'cause that would be too easy. 176 00:07:43,521 --> 00:07:47,229 I'm gonna show you just how bad this kitty can be. 177 00:07:47,312 --> 00:07:49,938 One of these days, maybe today, maybe tomorrow, 178 00:07:50,021 --> 00:07:52,187 maybe two weeks from next Thursday, 179 00:07:52,271 --> 00:07:54,479 you're gonna turn a corner, and there I'll be. 180 00:07:54,563 --> 00:07:55,813 11 pounds of-- 181 00:07:55,896 --> 00:08:00,688 well, okay, 19 pounds of fur and fury waiting to pounce. 182 00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:02,604 Oh, I'm so scared. 183 00:08:02,688 --> 00:08:05,438 Spread the word! The king of the beasts is back! 184 00:08:05,521 --> 00:08:06,479 Aaaah! 185 00:08:06,563 --> 00:08:08,021 [Whimpering] 186 00:08:24,521 --> 00:08:26,146 Yes! 187 00:08:29,187 --> 00:08:32,354 [growling] 188 00:08:38,438 --> 00:08:39,521 Go, Scott! 189 00:08:48,104 --> 00:08:49,521 Come on! Go! 190 00:08:49,604 --> 00:08:51,438 Come on, man! 191 00:08:51,521 --> 00:08:52,813 Great shot! 192 00:08:52,896 --> 00:08:55,479 And that makes it 20 to 19. 193 00:08:55,563 --> 00:08:58,062 Prepare to lose, dudes. 194 00:08:59,438 --> 00:09:00,980 Yeah! All right! 195 00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:03,104 [screeching] 196 00:09:11,730 --> 00:09:12,563 [cheering] 197 00:09:13,479 --> 00:09:14,521 Yes! 198 00:09:14,604 --> 00:09:16,646 That makes it 20 to 20! 199 00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:20,521 Now you can prepare to lose... dudes! 200 00:09:29,896 --> 00:09:30,730 [cheering] 201 00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:33,479 Fifth graders rule! 202 00:09:33,563 --> 00:09:34,730 Yeah! Yeah! 203 00:09:34,813 --> 00:09:36,855 Fifth graders rock! 204 00:09:36,938 --> 00:09:37,771 [groaning] 205 00:09:39,896 --> 00:09:42,813 Wow, we sure had to work hard to beat those fourth graders. 206 00:09:42,896 --> 00:09:44,938 Dude, this is a hollow victory indeed. 207 00:09:45,021 --> 00:09:46,396 Let's not tell Dad. 208 00:09:46,479 --> 00:09:47,479 Right. 209 00:09:47,563 --> 00:09:48,980 Wow, we almost beat 'em! 210 00:09:49,062 --> 00:09:51,312 Who would have thought losing could feel this good? 211 00:09:51,396 --> 00:09:53,229 I gotta admit, it's a new one on me. 212 00:09:53,312 --> 00:09:54,855 You guys were totally awesome. 213 00:09:54,938 --> 00:09:56,354 -Totally. -Awesome. 214 00:09:56,479 --> 00:09:57,521 Hey, thanks, guys! 215 00:09:57,604 --> 00:09:58,938 Oh, man, did you hear that? 216 00:09:59,021 --> 00:10:01,813 Taylor, Tyler, and Trevor said we were awesome. 217 00:10:01,896 --> 00:10:03,980 We were awesome, Leonard, and by the by, 218 00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:06,604 that's exactly why I don't want you feeling bad 219 00:10:06,688 --> 00:10:08,438 about that last pass. 220 00:10:08,521 --> 00:10:10,604 Well, by the by, I don't feel bad about the last pass 221 00:10:10,688 --> 00:10:12,187 'cause it was perfect. 222 00:10:12,271 --> 00:10:14,646 [chuckles] Not to overstate the obvious, 223 00:10:14,730 --> 00:10:16,730 but if the pass had been perfect, 224 00:10:16,813 --> 00:10:19,021 we would now be the 2-on-2 champions 225 00:10:19,104 --> 00:10:21,771 of the fourth and fifth grades, don't you think? 226 00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,521 Actually, what I think 227 00:10:23,604 --> 00:10:25,771 is that if the person who was supposed to catch the pass 228 00:10:25,855 --> 00:10:28,396 was where he was supposed to be, we would now be 229 00:10:28,479 --> 00:10:30,980 the 2-on-2 champions of the fourth and fifth grades. 230 00:10:31,062 --> 00:10:32,438 [all] Ooh. 231 00:10:32,521 --> 00:10:35,938 Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, sad little Leonard-- 232 00:10:36,021 --> 00:10:38,521 so young and yet so very, very wrong. 233 00:10:38,604 --> 00:10:41,521 I'm sure you think the pass was perfect, 234 00:10:41,604 --> 00:10:44,479 but I'm sorry to say you're sadly mistaken. 235 00:10:44,563 --> 00:10:46,938 I don't think the pass was perfect. 236 00:10:47,062 --> 00:10:48,229 It was perfect. 237 00:10:48,312 --> 00:10:49,479 -Was not. -Was too! 238 00:10:49,563 --> 00:10:50,646 And if you weren't being 239 00:10:50,730 --> 00:10:52,438 Mr. Hot-dog showboat fancy pants, 240 00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:53,980 it wouldn't have been picked off. 241 00:10:54,062 --> 00:10:55,521 [all] Oooh! 242 00:10:55,604 --> 00:10:58,938 Oh, really, Mr. "I can't hit the broad side of a barn 243 00:10:59,021 --> 00:11:01,855 unless I'm in a hypnotic state"! 244 00:11:01,938 --> 00:11:03,396 Well, for your information, 245 00:11:03,479 --> 00:11:06,271 not only was that last pass off the mark, 246 00:11:06,354 --> 00:11:08,896 but it's a miracle I was able to catch 247 00:11:08,980 --> 00:11:10,688 any of your lame-o passes! 248 00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:12,438 [all] Ooh. 249 00:11:12,521 --> 00:11:13,730 You take that back! 250 00:11:13,813 --> 00:11:15,646 I can't take back the truth! 251 00:11:15,730 --> 00:11:19,646 You wouldn't know the truth if it bit you on the nose! 252 00:11:19,646 --> 00:11:20,855 Fight! 253 00:11:20,938 --> 00:11:22,396 Yeah, fight him! 254 00:11:22,479 --> 00:11:24,938 You're not gonna take that, are you?! 255 00:11:25,021 --> 00:11:26,271 What? Fight? 256 00:11:26,354 --> 00:11:28,021 We're not gonna fight. 257 00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:30,229 Yeah, it's just a stupid basketball game. 258 00:11:30,312 --> 00:11:31,271 Chicken! 259 00:11:31,354 --> 00:11:33,062 Yeah, chicken! 260 00:11:33,146 --> 00:11:33,980 [clucking] 261 00:11:35,104 --> 00:11:36,730 I'm not chicken! 262 00:11:36,813 --> 00:11:38,396 Neither am I. 263 00:11:38,479 --> 00:11:39,521 -Prove it! -Prove it! 264 00:11:39,604 --> 00:11:41,021 -Yeah, prove it! -Yeah! 265 00:11:41,104 --> 00:11:42,521 You heard them-- prove it! 266 00:11:42,604 --> 00:11:45,563 If you're not chicken, then step over this line. 267 00:11:45,646 --> 00:11:49,312 Oh, no, if you're not chicken, then you step over this line. 268 00:11:49,396 --> 00:11:50,813 [children chanting] Fight! Fight! Fight! 269 00:11:51,396 --> 00:11:52,229 [barks] 270 00:11:53,021 --> 00:11:54,646 Fight! Fight! Fight! 271 00:11:54,730 --> 00:11:57,563 Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! 272 00:11:57,646 --> 00:11:58,521 [gasps] Teacher's coming! 273 00:11:59,730 --> 00:12:02,771 Children, children, what is going on here? 274 00:12:02,855 --> 00:12:03,980 Oh, hi, Mrs. H. 275 00:12:04,062 --> 00:12:07,354 Leonard and I were just demonstrating to the class 276 00:12:07,438 --> 00:12:09,563 the ancient art of Japanese Kabuki. 277 00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,521 Well, isn't that wonderful-- 278 00:12:11,604 --> 00:12:15,146 you and my little Lenny-poo using your free time so wisely. 279 00:12:15,229 --> 00:12:17,521 Ha ha ha! But I'm afraid recess is over. 280 00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:19,646 Come on everyone! Back to class! 281 00:12:19,730 --> 00:12:20,563 [groaning] 282 00:12:22,271 --> 00:12:23,104 [chanting] After school. 283 00:12:24,229 --> 00:12:25,980 After school. 284 00:12:26,062 --> 00:12:29,438 Oh, gee, um, after school is not good for me. 285 00:12:29,521 --> 00:12:31,396 I'm starting piano lessons. 286 00:12:31,479 --> 00:12:32,521 Yeah, me either. 287 00:12:32,604 --> 00:12:36,604 I'm bidding on a thing with a motor on the, uh, Internet. 288 00:12:36,688 --> 00:12:37,896 [chanting] To-morr-ow. To-morr-ow. 289 00:12:39,146 --> 00:12:42,354 Oh, darn it, tomorrow doesn't really work for me either. 290 00:12:42,438 --> 00:12:44,938 Hey, either you two fight tomorrow after school 291 00:12:45,021 --> 00:12:46,646 or you're both big chickens. 292 00:12:46,730 --> 00:12:49,604 Well, we wouldn't want that, would we? 293 00:12:49,688 --> 00:12:51,354 Tomorrow it is, then. 294 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:53,354 Yes, sir, tomorrow it is. 295 00:13:00,730 --> 00:13:03,229 [snoring] 296 00:13:05,062 --> 00:13:06,855 [whimpers] 297 00:13:10,229 --> 00:13:11,896 Aaah! 298 00:13:11,980 --> 00:13:13,855 Mmm... mmm... 299 00:13:13,938 --> 00:13:15,563 Hmm? 300 00:13:15,646 --> 00:13:18,646 What the heck is that darn cat up to? 301 00:13:20,604 --> 00:13:22,730 Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. 302 00:13:22,813 --> 00:13:25,646 Oh, Mr. Jolly? Where are you? 303 00:13:25,730 --> 00:13:27,021 Aaaah! 304 00:13:28,604 --> 00:13:30,104 Get ahold of yourself, man. 305 00:13:30,187 --> 00:13:32,271 This is Mr. Jolly we're talking about. 306 00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:34,604 He's the same fat, lazy cat he's always been. 307 00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:36,646 You are way too cagey for that kitty. 308 00:13:36,730 --> 00:13:38,604 Hi, there. 309 00:13:39,271 --> 00:13:40,104 [Squeak] 310 00:13:40,604 --> 00:13:42,563 Okay, ha ha, very good. You got me. 311 00:13:42,646 --> 00:13:43,604 We're even now, 312 00:13:43,688 --> 00:13:46,187 so let's have everything go back to the way it was. 313 00:13:46,271 --> 00:13:48,438 I don't know what you're talking about. 314 00:13:48,521 --> 00:13:49,604 I was just saying hello. 315 00:13:49,688 --> 00:13:52,855 Now, cut that out! You gotta get it over with! 316 00:13:52,938 --> 00:13:54,563 I can't take the suspense. 317 00:13:54,646 --> 00:13:55,938 Talk to the paw. 318 00:13:57,646 --> 00:14:01,479 Oh, you are so mature! 319 00:14:01,563 --> 00:14:02,730 [mockingly] "Oh, you are so mature!" 320 00:14:03,980 --> 00:14:07,354 All right, what's the matter? Come on, talk to Pretty Boy. 321 00:14:07,438 --> 00:14:10,312 There was, um, uh, an incident at school. 322 00:14:10,396 --> 00:14:11,730 It was all his fault! 323 00:14:11,813 --> 00:14:13,521 What kind of an incident? 324 00:14:13,604 --> 00:14:17,396 We sort of have to fight each other, and it was all his fault. 325 00:14:17,479 --> 00:14:19,563 Oh, my goodness, this is terrible! 326 00:14:19,646 --> 00:14:21,021 How did this happen? 327 00:14:21,104 --> 00:14:22,730 We got in a stupid argument. 328 00:14:22,813 --> 00:14:25,563 It was all my fault. I'm sorry, Leonard. 329 00:14:25,646 --> 00:14:27,521 No, it wasn't. It was my fault. 330 00:14:27,604 --> 00:14:30,271 No, it was mine. That pass was perfect. 331 00:14:30,354 --> 00:14:31,771 I knew it! 332 00:14:31,855 --> 00:14:35,479 Anyway, we let ourselves get talked into fighting each other 333 00:14:35,563 --> 00:14:37,062 by a bloodthirsty mob. 334 00:14:37,146 --> 00:14:39,646 I got a bag of birdseed riding on the pooch. 335 00:14:39,730 --> 00:14:42,271 Throw in a new catnip mousey, and you're on! 336 00:14:42,354 --> 00:14:43,646 No! What am I saying? 337 00:14:43,730 --> 00:14:46,646 I'm appalled you would even suggest such a thing. 338 00:14:46,730 --> 00:14:48,646 Nothing good can come of this. 339 00:14:48,730 --> 00:14:52,104 Spot and Leonard, you have to find a way to not fight. 340 00:14:52,187 --> 00:14:54,980 Mr. Jolly's right. We can't fight each other. 341 00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:56,896 I know, but what can we do? 342 00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,521 Here's a suggestion-- 343 00:14:58,604 --> 00:15:01,479 put on dresses and start calling yourselves Shirley and Denise. 344 00:15:01,563 --> 00:15:03,438 I've never seen a bigger bunch of wimps! 345 00:15:03,521 --> 00:15:05,938 Maybe one of us could move to another town. 346 00:15:06,021 --> 00:15:08,604 Or we could be absent on alternating days 347 00:15:08,688 --> 00:15:09,980 -for the rest of the year. -I like it! 348 00:15:10,062 --> 00:15:13,271 That's all I can stand. I need to get a dose of macho. 349 00:15:18,438 --> 00:15:20,187 Oh, that's more like it! 350 00:15:20,271 --> 00:15:22,396 The Universal Wrestling Association, 351 00:15:22,438 --> 00:15:24,604 where men are men and so are women. 352 00:15:24,688 --> 00:15:27,563 Oh, look, Akbar the Mangler versus The Beauty. 353 00:15:27,646 --> 00:15:31,604 The Mangler thinks he can come in here and take my title, 354 00:15:31,688 --> 00:15:34,146 but he is so very, very wrong! 355 00:15:34,229 --> 00:15:37,604 Because I'm a beautiful man, and my beauty represents truth! 356 00:15:37,688 --> 00:15:39,938 And the likes of Akbar the Mangler 357 00:15:40,021 --> 00:15:42,938 will never be able to stand in the radiant light 358 00:15:43,021 --> 00:15:44,438 of my beautiful truth! 359 00:15:44,521 --> 00:15:45,354 [clang] 360 00:15:46,229 --> 00:15:48,688 Oh, yeah, there's your radiant light of truth, 361 00:15:48,771 --> 00:15:50,271 you long-haired freak. 362 00:15:50,354 --> 00:15:53,563 You see? This is how real men settle their differences. 363 00:15:53,646 --> 00:15:56,646 Oh, please, professional wrestling is so fake 364 00:15:56,730 --> 00:15:58,980 you couldn't sell it in Times Square. 365 00:15:59,062 --> 00:16:02,479 The Bolshoi Ballet doesn't rehearse as much as those guys. 366 00:16:02,563 --> 00:16:04,521 Hey, that gives me an idea! 367 00:16:04,604 --> 00:16:07,021 We could fake a fight, just like those guys! 368 00:16:07,104 --> 00:16:08,312 That's a great idea! 369 00:16:08,396 --> 00:16:10,813 But not like those guys. It's too dangerous. 370 00:16:10,896 --> 00:16:13,646 Hundreds of kids are seriously injured every year 371 00:16:13,730 --> 00:16:16,229 trying to imitate professional wrestlers. 372 00:16:16,312 --> 00:16:17,730 Yeah, I guess you're right. 373 00:16:17,813 --> 00:16:20,438 But that doesn't mean we can't fake a fight 374 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:23,438 in the style of the ancient martial art Shweng Lo. 375 00:16:23,521 --> 00:16:25,271 Shweng Lo? What's that? 376 00:16:25,354 --> 00:16:28,896 -Shweng lo, sweet, cheery cat. -[Swing low, Sweet chariot plays] 377 00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:30,980 It's something I just made up. 378 00:16:31,062 --> 00:16:33,604 Hooray! Scott and Leonard aren't gonna fight! 379 00:16:33,688 --> 00:16:34,730 Ah ha ha ha! 380 00:16:34,813 --> 00:16:36,855 [both] ♪ We're not gonna fight ♪ 381 00:16:36,938 --> 00:16:38,563 ♪ We're not gonna fight ♪ 382 00:16:38,646 --> 00:16:41,271 I think I'm gonna be sick. 383 00:16:41,354 --> 00:16:43,396 Ready, Leonard? 384 00:16:43,479 --> 00:16:45,187 Here I come! 385 00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:46,521 Ohh! 386 00:16:54,771 --> 00:16:56,771 [zipper unzips] 387 00:17:08,604 --> 00:17:11,688 We need more fake blood on your face. 388 00:17:17,396 --> 00:17:18,646 -Wait! Wait! -Wait! Wait! 389 00:17:21,938 --> 00:17:24,104 Well, Leonard, I think we're ready. 390 00:17:24,187 --> 00:17:25,354 I hope so. 391 00:17:25,438 --> 00:17:27,146 If anyone figures out we're faking, 392 00:17:27,229 --> 00:17:29,479 we'll both have to move to another town. 393 00:17:29,563 --> 00:17:32,354 You guys are gonna do great. I just know it. 394 00:17:32,438 --> 00:17:33,730 So, uh, Mr. Jolly, 395 00:17:33,813 --> 00:17:37,229 can I assume that everything's back to normal between us? 396 00:17:37,312 --> 00:17:40,271 That is to say, we're okay, you and me, right? 397 00:17:40,354 --> 00:17:41,354 Talk to the paw. 398 00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:09,938 [chanting] Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! 399 00:18:11,646 --> 00:18:13,187 Fight! Fight! 400 00:18:13,271 --> 00:18:18,187 Prepare to be destroyed, Leonard, for unbeknownst to you, 401 00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:22,438 I, Scott Leadready II, am a ninth-degree master 402 00:18:22,521 --> 00:18:26,312 of the ancient and deadly martial art of-- 403 00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:27,229 [yowling] 404 00:18:28,730 --> 00:18:30,938 Shwen-g-g lo! 405 00:18:31,021 --> 00:18:33,479 [all] Shweng lo! 406 00:18:33,563 --> 00:18:37,604 Then you, too, should prepare to be destroyed, 407 00:18:37,688 --> 00:18:39,688 for I, Leonard Helperman I, 408 00:18:39,771 --> 00:18:44,563 am also a master of the ancient and deadly art of Shweng lo, 409 00:18:44,646 --> 00:18:47,062 level 9.1 410 00:18:47,146 --> 00:18:50,062 [gasps] Level 9.1! 411 00:18:54,896 --> 00:18:57,271 Fight! Fight! Fight! 412 00:18:57,354 --> 00:18:58,938 Fight! Fight! 413 00:19:01,604 --> 00:19:03,563 Aah! 414 00:19:06,688 --> 00:19:08,021 Ooh! 415 00:19:08,104 --> 00:19:09,146 Come on! Fight him! 416 00:19:09,229 --> 00:19:11,688 The Shweng lo is strong within you, 417 00:19:11,771 --> 00:19:14,563 but is it strong enough to handle this? 418 00:19:14,646 --> 00:19:16,730 Pbht! 419 00:19:20,021 --> 00:19:21,688 Oh, you're good. 420 00:19:21,771 --> 00:19:23,271 You're very good. 421 00:19:23,354 --> 00:19:24,938 And so it begins. 422 00:19:31,479 --> 00:19:32,312 [all gasp] 423 00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:35,521 And now prepare to meet your doom! 424 00:19:35,604 --> 00:19:37,062 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 425 00:19:37,146 --> 00:19:38,563 Must... get up! 426 00:19:38,646 --> 00:19:40,062 Can't move! 427 00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:42,104 Legs... won't work! 428 00:19:46,563 --> 00:19:47,396 [crack] 429 00:19:47,688 --> 00:19:49,563 Ow! 430 00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:51,312 That's not in the script. 431 00:19:51,396 --> 00:19:53,021 Oh, Charlie horse! 432 00:19:53,104 --> 00:19:54,938 Oh, my god! Leonard! 433 00:19:55,021 --> 00:19:56,896 [chanting] Finish him off! 434 00:19:56,980 --> 00:19:57,938 Finish him off! 435 00:19:58,021 --> 00:19:59,521 Quiet! Can't you see he's hurt? 436 00:19:59,604 --> 00:20:02,229 Don't worry, Leonard, it'll go away in a minute. 437 00:20:02,312 --> 00:20:05,187 You're probably just dehydrated from all the rehearsing. 438 00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:06,187 Rehearsing? 439 00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:07,896 Hey, what's going on? 440 00:20:07,980 --> 00:20:09,479 This fight's a fake! 441 00:20:09,563 --> 00:20:11,521 [chanting] Fake! Fake! Fake! 442 00:20:11,604 --> 00:20:13,938 All right! Yes, we were faking! 443 00:20:14,021 --> 00:20:17,563 The whole thing was a charade, a ruse, a sham! 444 00:20:17,646 --> 00:20:19,730 I knew they were too chicken to fight. 445 00:20:19,813 --> 00:20:21,354 What a bunch of losers. 446 00:20:21,438 --> 00:20:22,312 [jeering] 447 00:20:24,104 --> 00:20:26,813 You guys are so not cool! 448 00:20:26,896 --> 00:20:28,104 Oh, no. 449 00:20:28,187 --> 00:20:29,229 Wait! 450 00:20:31,062 --> 00:20:33,229 Losers? Chickens? 451 00:20:33,312 --> 00:20:35,438 Fakers? Not cool? 452 00:20:35,521 --> 00:20:38,855 Talk about the pot calling the kettle a cooking utensil. 453 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,271 Let me tell you people something. 454 00:20:41,354 --> 00:20:42,646 Yes, we're fakers. 455 00:20:42,730 --> 00:20:46,563 We faked this whole fight, and rather brilliantly, I must say. 456 00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:48,938 Leonard, your performance was magical. 457 00:20:49,021 --> 00:20:50,855 Gee, really? I, uh-- 458 00:20:50,938 --> 00:20:54,563 And, yes, we were cowards, but that's not why we were cowards. 459 00:20:54,646 --> 00:20:57,813 We were cowards because we were afraid not to fight. 460 00:20:57,896 --> 00:21:00,521 We were more afraid of being called chicken 461 00:21:00,604 --> 00:21:03,604 than we were of hurting ourselves and each other, 462 00:21:03,688 --> 00:21:06,646 and for that reason, yes, we are losers, too, 463 00:21:06,730 --> 00:21:10,312 but I swear an oath that from this day forward-- 464 00:21:10,396 --> 00:21:12,021 say it with me, people! 465 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:17,563 I will not fight, and I will not be afraid to not fight. 466 00:21:17,646 --> 00:21:22,396 [all] I will not fight, and I will not be afraid to not fight. 467 00:21:22,479 --> 00:21:24,604 Louder! Everyone! 468 00:21:24,688 --> 00:21:29,229 I will not fight, and I will not be afraid to not fight! 469 00:21:29,312 --> 00:21:30,604 That's it! 470 00:21:30,688 --> 00:21:32,688 Because fighting is stupid! 471 00:21:32,771 --> 00:21:36,354 [all] That's it! Because fighting is stupid! 472 00:21:36,438 --> 00:21:37,396 [chanting] Fighting is stupid! 473 00:21:38,563 --> 00:21:40,021 Hello? 474 00:21:40,104 --> 00:21:42,980 Remember me, the kid with the Charlie horse? 475 00:21:46,771 --> 00:21:47,604 [snoring] 476 00:21:50,354 --> 00:21:52,813 I've had enough of this. I'm sorry I mocked you. 477 00:21:52,896 --> 00:21:55,771 There's nothing I can do to take it back, so instead, 478 00:21:55,855 --> 00:21:57,730 I'm gonna lend my manly expertise 479 00:21:57,813 --> 00:21:59,855 and help you reclaim your catness. What do ya say? 480 00:21:59,938 --> 00:22:01,229 Hmm? 481 00:22:01,312 --> 00:22:02,896 No, thank you. 482 00:22:02,980 --> 00:22:05,521 No, thank you? What, are you giving up? 483 00:22:05,604 --> 00:22:07,688 Are you a wimp and a quitter? 484 00:22:07,771 --> 00:22:10,646 The longest journey begins with a single step! 485 00:22:10,730 --> 00:22:13,354 Okay, that's a pretty good first step.