1
00:00:00,062 --> 00:00:01,479
♪ Born on the wrong end
Of the leash ♪

2
00:00:01,563 --> 00:00:04,104
-♪ He was a dreamer ♪
-♪ And a little schemer ♪

3
00:00:04,187 --> 00:00:05,813
♪ A nutty mutt
living a dog's life ♪

4
00:00:05,896 --> 00:00:07,438
♪ But when he'd hear
the bell for school ♪

5
00:00:07,521 --> 00:00:08,354
♪ He'd start to drool ♪

6
00:00:08,438 --> 00:00:10,146
-♪ One day he says ♪
-♪ I'll take a chance ♪

7
00:00:10,229 --> 00:00:11,855
♪ Trades his leash
For a pair of pants ♪

8
00:00:11,938 --> 00:00:14,229
♪ In a glance, school becomes
His favorite pastime ♪

9
00:00:14,312 --> 00:00:16,604
♪ I have buried a bone
For the last time ♪

10
00:00:16,688 --> 00:00:18,312
-♪ He says ♪
-♪ I want to be a boy ♪

11
00:00:18,396 --> 00:00:19,646
♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪

12
00:00:19,730 --> 00:00:21,146
♪ He's so over just being rover ♪

13
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:22,604
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪

14
00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:25,062
♪ It's so weird ♪
♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy
♪

15
00:00:25,146 --> 00:00:26,688
♪ Turns out he's a
regular Einstein ♪

16
00:00:26,771 --> 00:00:28,438
♪ And Leonard is
treading a fine line ♪

17
00:00:28,521 --> 00:00:30,980
Why can't I be a normal kid
like any other?

18
00:00:31,062 --> 00:00:33,146
Now, doodle bug, listen to mother.

19
00:00:33,229 --> 00:00:34,938
♪ I want to be a boy ♪

20
00:00:35,021 --> 00:00:36,938
I hate dogs.

21
00:00:37,021 --> 00:00:39,479
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪

22
00:00:39,563 --> 00:00:41,479
♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪

23
00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:43,521
I do not wish to be a dog.

24
00:00:43,604 --> 00:00:46,104
♪ Now this bowser's
ready for trousers ♪

25
00:00:46,187 --> 00:00:47,521
♪ I got to be a boy ♪

26
00:00:47,604 --> 00:00:49,104
♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪

27
00:00:49,187 --> 00:00:52,229
♪ This teacher's pet
is gonna be a boy ♪

28
00:00:52,312 --> 00:00:54,146
Yes!

29
00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:11,938
[thunder crashes]

30
00:01:12,938 --> 00:01:16,521
[Spot] Madness descends,
enveloping, consuming,

31
00:01:16,604 --> 00:01:19,688
like a velvet shroud
of black terror.

32
00:01:19,771 --> 00:01:21,563
We are lost,

33
00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:23,896
cast adrift this Hallows' Eve,

34
00:01:23,980 --> 00:01:28,229
on a lightless sea of candy...
costumes...

35
00:01:28,312 --> 00:01:30,980
And madness!

36
00:01:31,062 --> 00:01:31,896
[cackles]

37
00:01:32,438 --> 00:01:34,980
Hey, listen to what
this Halloween web site

38
00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:37,104
says about vampires.

39
00:01:37,187 --> 00:01:39,396
"Vampires can take on
virtually any form,

40
00:01:39,479 --> 00:01:41,438
and once invited
into your home,

41
00:01:41,521 --> 00:01:44,396
will never leave till
they suck out all your blood."

42
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:45,980
Aah!

43
00:01:46,062 --> 00:01:48,980
Oh, please. That's a bunch
of supernatural hooey.

44
00:01:49,062 --> 00:01:51,479
This whole Halloween thing
is a scam,

45
00:01:51,563 --> 00:01:53,479
foisted on a gullible public

46
00:01:53,563 --> 00:01:55,521
by the central American
sugar barons.

47
00:01:55,604 --> 00:01:57,980
It's all right here.

48
00:01:58,062 --> 00:02:00,354
Do you think I was right
going with chromain,

49
00:02:00,438 --> 00:02:03,187
the cyborg prince from
the Black Hole Adventure Series?

50
00:02:03,271 --> 00:02:05,688
Or should I have stuck with
the Bo Peep's sheep costume?

51
00:02:05,771 --> 00:02:07,104
What difference does it make?

52
00:02:07,187 --> 00:02:08,688
If it doesn't stop raining,

53
00:02:08,771 --> 00:02:11,104
we won't even
get to go trick-or-treating.

54
00:02:11,187 --> 00:02:13,604
Leonard, a little faith,
please.

55
00:02:13,688 --> 00:02:15,563
I checked
"The Farmers' Almanac,"

56
00:02:15,646 --> 00:02:18,271
the U.S. Weather Bureau,
the local weather report,

57
00:02:18,354 --> 00:02:21,062
and your mother's bunion,
and I'm telling you,

58
00:02:21,146 --> 00:02:22,813
all signs point
to clear skies

59
00:02:22,896 --> 00:02:24,271
and smooth sailing
tomorrow night.

60
00:02:24,354 --> 00:02:25,438
I hope you're right.

61
00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,396
It'd be awful to miss
our first year

62
00:02:27,479 --> 00:02:29,521
of trick-or-treating
all by ourselves.

63
00:02:29,604 --> 00:02:31,271
Leonard,
who are you talking to?

64
00:02:31,354 --> 00:02:33,563
Huh? No one.
Just myself.

65
00:02:33,646 --> 00:02:35,980
Leonard Helperman, I hope
this isn't an unapproved

66
00:02:36,062 --> 00:02:37,771
do-it-yourself
Halloween costume.

67
00:02:37,855 --> 00:02:40,271
I told you, if you want
to go trick-or-treating

68
00:02:40,354 --> 00:02:41,479
with your friends,

69
00:02:41,563 --> 00:02:44,354
you have to wear
this safety smart 'n' scary one.

70
00:02:44,438 --> 00:02:45,813
But-- but, Mom--

71
00:02:45,896 --> 00:02:47,855
[sighs] Yes, ma'am.

72
00:02:47,938 --> 00:02:49,813
All righty, then.
[laughs]

73
00:02:49,896 --> 00:02:51,813
I'll just get rid of this thing,
and you go to bed.

74
00:02:51,896 --> 00:02:53,146
Yes, ma'am.

75
00:02:58,396 --> 00:03:00,604
Well, I guess
it's Bo Peep's sheep after all.

76
00:03:00,688 --> 00:03:02,187
Probably for the best.

77
00:03:02,271 --> 00:03:04,438
I have such a flair
for quadrupeds.

78
00:03:04,521 --> 00:03:05,354
[animal screeches]

79
00:03:06,521 --> 00:03:07,438
[both] Aah!

80
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,479
Ow, ow, ow. Claws.

81
00:03:09,563 --> 00:03:11,187
W-w-w-w-what was that?

82
00:03:11,271 --> 00:03:13,563
It sounded like...

83
00:03:13,646 --> 00:03:16,604
The tormented cry
of a disembodied spirit,

84
00:03:16,688 --> 00:03:19,229
trapped between this life
and the next.

85
00:03:19,312 --> 00:03:21,062
Or maybe a cat.

86
00:03:21,146 --> 00:03:22,438
That's another possibility.

87
00:03:22,521 --> 00:03:24,938
I think it's coming
from the kitchen. Come on.

88
00:03:27,312 --> 00:03:30,187
[animal screeches]

89
00:03:30,271 --> 00:03:32,104
I think it's out there.

90
00:03:34,021 --> 00:03:36,354
No! Don't open it.

91
00:03:36,438 --> 00:03:38,813
It could be
the disembodied spirit.

92
00:03:43,938 --> 00:03:46,521
See? It's a kitty,
just like I said.

93
00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,229
Don't invite it in.

94
00:03:52,312 --> 00:03:53,312
[whispers]
It might be a vampire

95
00:03:54,312 --> 00:03:55,896
just pretending
to be a cat.

96
00:03:55,980 --> 00:03:59,021
You really ought to lay off
the supernatural web sites.

97
00:03:59,104 --> 00:04:02,146
Come on inside, fella.
It's okay.

98
00:04:02,229 --> 00:04:05,146
Great. Just what this house
needs-- more cats.

99
00:04:05,229 --> 00:04:07,563
So, what's your name?

100
00:04:07,646 --> 00:04:09,229
Where'd you come from?
Who's your daddy?

101
00:04:09,312 --> 00:04:10,688
Come on, fess up.

102
00:04:12,896 --> 00:04:14,730
It's okay.
Leonard's cool.

103
00:04:14,813 --> 00:04:15,980
You can talk
in front of him.

104
00:04:16,855 --> 00:04:19,521
Um, well,
they call me Spooky,

105
00:04:19,604 --> 00:04:23,271
and I've been lost so long,
I don't even remember my home.

106
00:04:23,354 --> 00:04:24,646
Aw, poor kitty.

107
00:04:24,730 --> 00:04:26,730
Don't worry.
We'll take care of you.

108
00:04:26,813 --> 00:04:30,187
Oh, thank you all so much.

109
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:32,813
I don't know how
I can ever repay you.

110
00:04:37,438 --> 00:04:40,187
Ow, ow, ow. Claws.

111
00:04:43,855 --> 00:04:46,479
[purring]

112
00:04:49,187 --> 00:04:52,563
Leonard never should have
invited him in.

113
00:04:52,646 --> 00:04:54,146
What if he is a vampire

114
00:04:54,229 --> 00:04:56,021
and he doesn't leave
until he's sucked all my blood

115
00:04:56,104 --> 00:04:57,855
and made me
his vampire slave?

116
00:04:57,938 --> 00:04:59,438
I don't want
to be a slave.

117
00:04:59,521 --> 00:05:01,688
And I'm telling you,
you're meshugeneh.

118
00:05:01,771 --> 00:05:03,229
That cat is an ordinary,

119
00:05:03,312 --> 00:05:05,271
everyday
pain-in-the-neck cat,

120
00:05:05,354 --> 00:05:08,563
very much like a certain other
pain-in-the-neck cat I know.

121
00:05:08,771 --> 00:05:11,187
Oh, really? Is he?

122
00:05:11,271 --> 00:05:14,187
Or has he already turned you
into his vampire slave,

123
00:05:14,271 --> 00:05:16,730
and you just don't
know it, hmm?

124
00:05:16,813 --> 00:05:17,813
Huh? Fair question.

125
00:05:17,896 --> 00:05:19,563
Now you've really flipped.

126
00:05:19,646 --> 00:05:23,062
Could somebody please
close the curtains, please?

127
00:05:24,187 --> 00:05:26,604
I'm very sensitive
to the sunlight.

128
00:05:28,521 --> 00:05:30,980
All righty-dighty.
Are you boys all set?

129
00:05:31,062 --> 00:05:32,604
We sure are, Mrs. H.

130
00:05:32,688 --> 00:05:34,604
Got your Jack-o'-lantern
flashlights?

131
00:05:34,688 --> 00:05:35,771
Yes, Mom.

132
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:39,396
Super-duper. [laughs]

133
00:05:39,479 --> 00:05:40,646
Then I think you two

134
00:05:40,730 --> 00:05:42,479
are ready to have
a fantabulous Halloween.

135
00:05:42,563 --> 00:05:44,104
This is gonna be great.

136
00:05:44,187 --> 00:05:46,312
My first trick-or-treat...

137
00:05:46,312 --> 00:05:48,354
Uh, with the big kids.

138
00:05:48,438 --> 00:05:50,688
Uh, there's just one more
tiny little thing.

139
00:05:50,771 --> 00:05:53,479
-[both] Uh-oh.
-I organized a neighborhood candy
-free,

140
00:05:53,563 --> 00:05:55,187
no-trick Halloween zone.

141
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:57,563
All the parents
on our block have agreed

142
00:05:57,646 --> 00:06:00,604
to only hand out
healthy trick-or-treat treats,

143
00:06:00,688 --> 00:06:02,229
such as dried fruits,
canned goods,

144
00:06:02,312 --> 00:06:05,521
and, of course, the occasional
shredded wheat biscuit.

145
00:06:05,604 --> 00:06:08,438
But, Mom,
no candy on Halloween?

146
00:06:08,521 --> 00:06:09,980
That isn't even American.

147
00:06:10,271 --> 00:06:13,312
Oh, and I suppose rotten teeth
and upset tummies are.

148
00:06:13,396 --> 00:06:14,438
I think not.

149
00:06:14,521 --> 00:06:15,896
I can't tell you
what to do, Scott,

150
00:06:15,980 --> 00:06:17,771
but it's high time
my little lollipop

151
00:06:17,855 --> 00:06:19,604
kicked the demon
sugar habit.

152
00:06:19,688 --> 00:06:21,312
-But--
-No buts.

153
00:06:21,396 --> 00:06:24,604
I want you to promise me
you'll stay on our block

154
00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:26,146
and won't cross the street.

155
00:06:26,604 --> 00:06:28,062
I promise.

156
00:06:28,146 --> 00:06:30,062
That's my good boy.
[laughs]

157
00:06:30,146 --> 00:06:33,646
Now, get out there and have
a super-fabuloso time.

158
00:06:33,730 --> 00:06:35,771
Oh, and be home by 7:00.

159
00:06:35,855 --> 00:06:38,688
Make sure your shoelaces are tied.

160
00:06:40,855 --> 00:06:41,771
[doorbell rings]

161
00:06:42,604 --> 00:06:45,187
[children] Trick or treat.

162
00:06:45,521 --> 00:06:46,479
Oh, my goodness,

163
00:06:46,563 --> 00:06:50,438
what a scary bunch
of ghosts and goblins...

164
00:06:50,521 --> 00:06:52,187
And petting-zoo animals.

165
00:06:52,271 --> 00:06:53,104
[bleats]

166
00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:54,730
All righty, then.

167
00:06:54,813 --> 00:06:57,187
Who wants a nice, tasty banana?

168
00:07:00,271 --> 00:07:02,438
Leonard,
I can't take any more

169
00:07:02,521 --> 00:07:04,438
of this lame excuse
for a Halloween.

170
00:07:04,521 --> 00:07:05,980
I can't take it,
I tell you.

171
00:07:06,062 --> 00:07:08,646
Well, I'm sorry, but you're
going to have to take it.

172
00:07:08,730 --> 00:07:10,271
We don't have
any other choice.

173
00:07:10,354 --> 00:07:11,187
[laughs]

174
00:07:11,521 --> 00:07:14,813
"Don't have any other choice"--
that's so cute.

175
00:07:14,896 --> 00:07:17,855
Lenny, Lenny, Lenny,
we always have choices.

176
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:20,438
Should I ignore
social injustice,

177
00:07:20,521 --> 00:07:22,938
or should I choose
to get involved?

178
00:07:23,021 --> 00:07:25,396
Should I sit in front of the TV
day after day,

179
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:28,479
or should I choose to live
each day to the fullest?

180
00:07:28,563 --> 00:07:30,896
Should I walk around
like a half-dead zombie

181
00:07:30,980 --> 00:07:33,354
collecting produce
for Halloween,

182
00:07:33,438 --> 00:07:36,771
or should I choose to enjoy
the revelry and candy

183
00:07:36,855 --> 00:07:40,646
as millions of kids have done
since the dawn of man?

184
00:07:40,730 --> 00:07:42,479
Oh, no.
You heard what my mom said.

185
00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:44,229
We're absolutely
forbidden from--

186
00:07:44,312 --> 00:07:45,438
Look.

187
00:07:45,521 --> 00:07:48,146
-♪ Everybody say party here ♪
-♪ Right here ♪

188
00:07:48,229 --> 00:07:49,646
-♪ Everybody say party hearty ♪
-♪ Oh, yeah ♪

189
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:51,646
-♪ Everybody say party there ♪
-♪ Over here ♪

190
00:07:51,771 --> 00:07:53,980
♪ Everybody say party, party ♪

191
00:07:54,062 --> 00:07:55,354
-♪ Come on, come on ♪
-♪ Come on, come on ♪

192
00:07:55,438 --> 00:07:57,438
-♪ Party, party ♪
-♪ Party, party ♪

193
00:07:57,521 --> 00:07:58,980
♪ Come on, come on ♪

194
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,062
♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

195
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:04,062
♪ Everybody say party hearty ♪

196
00:08:04,146 --> 00:08:07,646
But we can't.
I promised my mom.

197
00:08:07,730 --> 00:08:08,980
Aw, come on.

198
00:08:09,062 --> 00:08:10,980
What's one little promise...

199
00:08:11,062 --> 00:08:13,271
Compared to this?

200
00:08:16,688 --> 00:08:18,855
-Ah.
-No, I don't want to.

201
00:08:18,938 --> 00:08:21,187
Oh, Leonard,
you say you don't want to go,

202
00:08:21,271 --> 00:08:22,730
but you are so transparent.

203
00:08:22,813 --> 00:08:25,604
Don't you know by now that
I can see right through you?

204
00:08:25,688 --> 00:08:28,521
Please, can we go?
Please, please, please?

205
00:08:28,604 --> 00:08:29,646
Well, I--

206
00:08:29,730 --> 00:08:31,396
attaboy.

207
00:08:31,479 --> 00:08:36,521
-This is wrong-- so very, very
wrong. -♪ Party, party ♪

208
00:08:48,479 --> 00:08:50,479
Oh, Leonard, say hallelujah.

209
00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:53,938
We have reached
the promised land.

210
00:08:57,730 --> 00:08:58,563
[sobbing]

211
00:08:59,604 --> 00:09:02,271
I got to admit,
this does seem like more fun.

212
00:09:02,354 --> 00:09:04,479
Seems like more fun?

213
00:09:04,563 --> 00:09:08,604
Lenny, open your eyes
and smell the candy corn.

214
00:09:08,688 --> 00:09:10,688
We're in Halloween heaven.

215
00:09:10,771 --> 00:09:13,521
Hey, guys,
which are the good houses?

216
00:09:13,604 --> 00:09:15,146
Dude, they're all good.

217
00:09:15,229 --> 00:09:17,855
Yeah, dude, this is
the best Halloween ever.

218
00:09:17,938 --> 00:09:19,438
Choco-crunchies,

219
00:09:19,521 --> 00:09:24,479
Caramel Twisties,
Gooey Tasties.

220
00:09:24,563 --> 00:09:28,021
Some houses are even
giving out Beating Heart Taffy.

221
00:09:28,104 --> 00:09:30,479
What's beating heart Taffy...
dude?

222
00:09:30,563 --> 00:09:32,354
"What's Beating Heart Taffy?"

223
00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:34,771
Dude, where are you from?

224
00:09:34,855 --> 00:09:35,938
Across the street.

225
00:09:36,021 --> 00:09:37,563
[all] Oh.

226
00:09:37,646 --> 00:09:38,604
Beating Heart Taffy

227
00:09:38,688 --> 00:09:41,479
is only the chewiest,
tastiest, taffiest taffy

228
00:09:41,563 --> 00:09:44,062
you've ever tasted, dude.

229
00:09:44,146 --> 00:09:45,688
[Leonard] Ew, that's gross.

230
00:09:45,771 --> 00:09:48,938
To paraphrase the great American
humorist Will Rogers,

231
00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:52,021
I never met a piece of candy
I didn't like...

232
00:09:52,104 --> 00:09:53,521
Until now.

233
00:09:53,604 --> 00:09:56,104
Here.

234
00:09:56,187 --> 00:09:57,062
[beating]

235
00:09:59,521 --> 00:10:02,938
Ooh.

236
00:10:03,021 --> 00:10:03,938
Wow.

237
00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:05,855
Disgusting on the outside,

238
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:08,229
delicious on the inside.

239
00:10:08,312 --> 00:10:11,771
It's a whole new world
on this side of the street.

240
00:10:11,855 --> 00:10:15,479
Come on, Lenny.
Let's get to trick-or-treating.

241
00:10:18,521 --> 00:10:20,688
♪ It's about the candy ♪

242
00:10:20,771 --> 00:10:23,813
♪ It's about the treats ♪

243
00:10:23,896 --> 00:10:26,980
♪ Dressing up like ghosts
And ghouls and sheep ♪

244
00:10:27,062 --> 00:10:28,563
♪ It's surely dandy ♪

245
00:10:28,646 --> 00:10:30,396
♪ But, brother,
When push comes to shove ♪

246
00:10:30,438 --> 00:10:32,646
♪ And shove comes to pull,
Just fill me up ♪

247
00:10:32,730 --> 00:10:34,980
♪ Until I'm full ♪

248
00:10:35,062 --> 00:10:36,980
♪ Of those sweets ♪

249
00:10:37,062 --> 00:10:39,354
♪ Those sumptuous sweets ♪

250
00:10:39,438 --> 00:10:40,855
♪ No food can compete ♪

251
00:10:40,938 --> 00:10:42,354
♪ With a treacly treat ♪

252
00:10:42,438 --> 00:10:44,021
♪ Yummy gummy, gooey gooey ♪

253
00:10:44,104 --> 00:10:49,438
♪ You just can't beat
Those Halloween sweets ♪

254
00:10:49,521 --> 00:10:51,479
♪ All you ghouls and goblins ♪

255
00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:54,062
♪ Every witch's hag ♪

256
00:10:54,146 --> 00:10:57,229
♪ Gobble up those goodies
In your goody bag ♪

257
00:10:57,312 --> 00:10:59,062
♪ If there's a problem ♪

258
00:10:59,146 --> 00:11:01,896
♪ Because the one that you pick
Is stuck to a stick ♪

259
00:11:01,980 --> 00:11:05,312
♪ Just eat that tricky treat
With a lovin' lick ♪

260
00:11:05,396 --> 00:11:07,521
♪ I'm talking about sweets ♪

261
00:11:07,604 --> 00:11:09,646
♪ Those sumptuous sweets ♪

262
00:11:09,730 --> 00:11:11,563
♪ No food can compete ♪

263
00:11:11,646 --> 00:11:12,938
♪ With a treacly treat ♪

264
00:11:13,021 --> 00:11:14,646
♪ Yummy gummy, gooey gooey ♪

265
00:11:14,730 --> 00:11:17,980
♪ You just can't beat
Those Halloween sweets ♪

266
00:11:18,062 --> 00:11:20,521
♪ Halloween treats ♪

267
00:11:20,604 --> 00:11:22,479
♪ Halloween treats ♪

268
00:11:22,563 --> 00:11:25,813
Got to love 'em.

269
00:11:30,021 --> 00:11:32,938
Uh-oh. Here comes trouble.

270
00:11:36,604 --> 00:11:39,229
Hide your candy.

271
00:11:39,312 --> 00:11:41,563
Hey, guys.
How'd you make out?

272
00:11:41,646 --> 00:11:44,438
Are you kidding?
It was awful.

273
00:11:44,521 --> 00:11:46,354
If I see
one more box of raisins,

274
00:11:46,438 --> 00:11:47,938
I'm gonna scream.

275
00:11:48,021 --> 00:11:50,021
It's like
the whole neighborhood

276
00:11:50,104 --> 00:11:52,187
is one big
vegetarian restaurant.

277
00:11:52,271 --> 00:11:53,396
Yeah.

278
00:11:53,479 --> 00:11:56,563
One house is even giving out
egg-white omelets.

279
00:11:58,396 --> 00:12:00,438
Yeah, this Halloween
was a total bust.

280
00:12:00,521 --> 00:12:02,980
Well, we've still got Christmas
to look forward to.

281
00:12:03,062 --> 00:12:05,438
Yikes, look at the time.
I've got to get home.

282
00:12:05,521 --> 00:12:07,104
Me too. See ya.

283
00:12:07,187 --> 00:12:08,104
Yeah. See ya.

284
00:12:08,187 --> 00:12:09,104
So long.

285
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:11,104
Bye.

286
00:12:11,187 --> 00:12:12,021
[purring]

287
00:12:13,396 --> 00:12:16,688
According to the "Welcome
To Transylvania" web site,

288
00:12:16,771 --> 00:12:18,479
if Spooky is a vampire,

289
00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:21,229
he'll be repelled
by this garlic necklace.

290
00:12:21,312 --> 00:12:22,813
Well, if he isn't, I am.

291
00:12:22,896 --> 00:12:25,104
Between the garlic
and your fish breath,

292
00:12:25,187 --> 00:12:26,855
you smell
like day-old scampi.

293
00:12:26,938 --> 00:12:27,855
Mmm.

294
00:12:27,938 --> 00:12:29,896
What is
that delightful aroma?

295
00:12:29,980 --> 00:12:31,479
Aah!

296
00:12:31,563 --> 00:12:34,813
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I startle you?

297
00:12:34,896 --> 00:12:35,855
Startle?
Us?

298
00:12:35,938 --> 00:12:36,855
Not at all.

299
00:12:36,938 --> 00:12:37,855
Don't be silly.

300
00:12:37,938 --> 00:12:39,396
What ever gave you
that idea?

301
00:12:39,479 --> 00:12:42,271
Is that a garland of garlic
around your neck?

302
00:12:42,354 --> 00:12:45,146
Yes, as a matter of fact,
it is.

303
00:12:45,229 --> 00:12:48,604
I hope you don't find it
disturbing or repulsive.

304
00:12:48,688 --> 00:12:49,813
Do you?

305
00:12:49,896 --> 00:12:53,104
Why, no.
Quite the contrary.

306
00:12:53,187 --> 00:12:54,479
Oh.

307
00:12:54,563 --> 00:12:55,938
That is a relief.

308
00:12:56,021 --> 00:12:58,479
Isn't that a relief,
Pretty Boy?

309
00:12:58,563 --> 00:13:00,187
I, for one, am relieved.

310
00:13:00,271 --> 00:13:01,104
[sniffs]

311
00:13:02,062 --> 00:13:04,021
Mmm, mm-mmm-mmm.

312
00:13:04,104 --> 00:13:07,521
In fact, you smell
good enough to eat.

313
00:13:10,062 --> 00:13:11,604
Ha ha. Stupid thing.
Ha ha ha ha.

314
00:13:11,688 --> 00:13:13,604
Don't even know
why I wear it. Ha ha.

315
00:13:13,688 --> 00:13:15,229
Speaking of eating,

316
00:13:15,312 --> 00:13:18,187
I was wondering if you might
like to join me later

317
00:13:18,271 --> 00:13:20,521
for a midnight bite.

318
00:13:20,604 --> 00:13:22,396
Oh, uh... gee.

319
00:13:22,479 --> 00:13:25,438
Splendid, then.
It's a date.

320
00:13:27,354 --> 00:13:29,312
Oh. Goody.

321
00:13:29,396 --> 00:13:32,354
Lucky for us, mom is still
out on Halloween patrol.

322
00:13:32,438 --> 00:13:34,479
That'll give us time
to hide the booty.

323
00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:36,354
Loot. Spoils.

324
00:13:36,438 --> 00:13:38,563
Plunderage. Swag?

325
00:13:38,646 --> 00:13:39,563
The candy.

326
00:13:39,646 --> 00:13:40,938
Oh.

327
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:43,062
Listen, I was thinking...

328
00:13:43,146 --> 00:13:44,438
Oh,
that's a dangerous sign.

329
00:13:44,521 --> 00:13:46,563
Maybe if we just confess
right away

330
00:13:46,646 --> 00:13:48,354
and throw ourselves
on my mom's mercy,

331
00:13:48,438 --> 00:13:50,229
things won't go
so bad for us.

332
00:13:50,312 --> 00:13:52,062
That's one idea.
Here's another--

333
00:13:52,146 --> 00:13:53,354
we don't tell ma anything,

334
00:13:53,438 --> 00:13:55,396
thus avoiding getting
into trouble altogether.

335
00:13:55,479 --> 00:13:57,312
That could work, too.

336
00:13:57,396 --> 00:13:59,479
I just wish I didn't feel
so guilty about this.

337
00:13:59,563 --> 00:14:02,104
Here, try one of these.

338
00:14:02,187 --> 00:14:03,563
It'll have you feeling better
in no time.

339
00:14:03,646 --> 00:14:05,563
[beating]

340
00:14:09,146 --> 00:14:12,187
[muffled] Holy moley,
is this stuff good!

341
00:14:12,271 --> 00:14:14,604
Easy for you to say.
Now help me hide the candy.

342
00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,062
Okay.

343
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:17,563
Leonard, doodlebug,
are you home?

344
00:14:17,646 --> 00:14:19,604
Quick, put everything
in the closet.

345
00:14:19,688 --> 00:14:20,646
Good idea.

346
00:14:20,730 --> 00:14:22,521
And stop talking.

347
00:14:22,604 --> 00:14:23,813
All right.

348
00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:25,813
Oh, there you are.

349
00:14:25,896 --> 00:14:27,563
Why didn't you answer me?

350
00:14:27,646 --> 00:14:28,938
Oh, hello, mother.

351
00:14:29,021 --> 00:14:30,271
I'm sorry.

352
00:14:30,354 --> 00:14:32,730
I guess I was so engrossed
in this American history book,

353
00:14:32,813 --> 00:14:34,146
I just didn't hear you.

354
00:14:34,229 --> 00:14:37,688
You're reading American history
on your own

355
00:14:37,771 --> 00:14:40,354
without me
giving you an assignment?

356
00:14:40,396 --> 00:14:41,479
Uh-huh.

357
00:14:41,563 --> 00:14:43,271
Oh, my goodness.

358
00:14:43,354 --> 00:14:45,146
I never thought
this day would come.

359
00:14:45,229 --> 00:14:46,062
[laughs]

360
00:14:46,604 --> 00:14:48,479
How was
your trick-or-treating?

361
00:14:48,563 --> 00:14:49,771
Oh, it was great.

362
00:14:49,855 --> 00:14:52,479
In fact, the fruits and
vegetables were so delicious,

363
00:14:52,563 --> 00:14:54,563
I ate them all
before I got home.

364
00:14:54,646 --> 00:14:55,479
[gasps]

365
00:14:55,646 --> 00:14:57,980
Well, now, somebody pinch me.

366
00:14:59,021 --> 00:15:00,688
Leonard,
why is your tongue blue?

367
00:15:00,771 --> 00:15:01,604
[gasps]

368
00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:05,521
Must be all that, uh,
delicious eggplant I ate.

369
00:15:05,604 --> 00:15:07,479
Be still, my heart.

370
00:15:07,563 --> 00:15:09,229
Mom, are you crying?

371
00:15:09,312 --> 00:15:10,604
Oh, don't be silly.

372
00:15:10,688 --> 00:15:13,104
Just got a little something
in my eye.

373
00:15:13,187 --> 00:15:15,312
You go back
to your American history.

374
00:15:15,396 --> 00:15:18,563
I love you very, very much.

375
00:15:18,646 --> 00:15:21,062
Good night.

376
00:15:22,479 --> 00:15:25,646
Leonard, that was, perhaps,

377
00:15:25,730 --> 00:15:27,062
the finest performance

378
00:15:27,146 --> 00:15:29,896
I've e'er had
the privilege to witness.

379
00:15:29,980 --> 00:15:31,396
Bravo.

380
00:15:31,479 --> 00:15:33,688
I'm the worst person
on the planet.

381
00:15:33,771 --> 00:15:36,312
Not only did I disobey
and deceive my mom

382
00:15:36,396 --> 00:15:38,646
by crossing the street
and trick-or-treating,

383
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:41,104
but then I made it worse
by double lying about it

384
00:15:41,187 --> 00:15:42,563
and even made her proud of me

385
00:15:42,646 --> 00:15:44,146
for doing something
I lied about,

386
00:15:44,229 --> 00:15:46,229
which I didn't even do
because I was doing

387
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:48,312
something else
that I wasn't supposed to.

388
00:15:50,354 --> 00:15:52,271
[Pretty Boy]
But you saw for yourself.

389
00:15:52,354 --> 00:15:54,229
The garlic didn't
bother him at all.

390
00:15:54,312 --> 00:15:56,312
Doesn't that prove
he's not a vampire?

391
00:15:56,396 --> 00:15:57,479
All right, follow me.

392
00:15:57,563 --> 00:15:59,604
I'm going to have to
prove once and for all

393
00:15:59,688 --> 00:16:01,980
that Spooky is not
one of the "living dead."

394
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:03,521
I thought they broke up.

395
00:16:03,604 --> 00:16:05,771
That's the Grateful--
aw, never mind.

396
00:16:08,688 --> 00:16:10,187
Okay, listen up.

397
00:16:10,271 --> 00:16:13,229
Everyone knows that vampires
don't have reflections,

398
00:16:13,312 --> 00:16:15,646
so all we have to do
is hold this up to spooky,

399
00:16:15,730 --> 00:16:18,563
see his reflection,
ipso facto, he's not a vampire.

400
00:16:18,646 --> 00:16:20,021
Then you can
quit driving me nuts.

401
00:16:25,354 --> 00:16:26,604
[yawns]

402
00:16:30,021 --> 00:16:31,646
[purring]

403
00:16:39,062 --> 00:16:40,980
See? No reflection,
just like I--

404
00:16:41,062 --> 00:16:43,396
Oy vey.

405
00:16:43,479 --> 00:16:45,730
Good evening.

406
00:16:45,813 --> 00:16:48,730
Is it time to eat already?

407
00:16:48,813 --> 00:16:49,980
Aah!

408
00:16:57,229 --> 00:16:58,104
Mmm.

409
00:16:58,187 --> 00:16:59,271
Mmm.

410
00:16:59,354 --> 00:17:00,479
[muffled]
This taffy is delicious!

411
00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:03,563
After all that,

412
00:17:03,646 --> 00:17:06,771
I don't even get to keep
my Beating Heart Taffy.

413
00:17:06,855 --> 00:17:09,646
Spot's a dog,
and dogs can't eat chocolate,

414
00:17:09,730 --> 00:17:12,062
so I've got to trade
all my taffy

415
00:17:12,146 --> 00:17:13,855
for Spot's stupid chocolate.

416
00:17:13,938 --> 00:17:14,771
[stomach growls]

417
00:17:15,354 --> 00:17:17,438
How can I ever look her
in the eye again?

418
00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:20,730
I can't. That's how.

419
00:17:20,813 --> 00:17:22,187
[moans]

420
00:17:22,771 --> 00:17:25,438
Are you sure
this will work?

421
00:17:25,521 --> 00:17:26,563
It has to work.

422
00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:28,521
I have a feeling
when the clock strikes 12:00,

423
00:17:28,604 --> 00:17:32,396
our friend spooky
is going to wake up hungry.

424
00:17:47,646 --> 00:17:48,479
[thunder crashes]

425
00:17:50,479 --> 00:17:52,604
[growling]

426
00:18:04,354 --> 00:18:06,062
-Aah!
-Aah!

427
00:18:07,563 --> 00:18:09,438
Let us never speak
of this again.

428
00:18:09,521 --> 00:18:10,438
Speak of what?

429
00:18:12,730 --> 00:18:15,271
I can't seem to stop
eating this Taffy.

430
00:18:15,354 --> 00:18:16,730
Maybe I can make up
for tonight

431
00:18:16,813 --> 00:18:18,187
if I become a missionary

432
00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:20,479
and spend my life
in service to others.

433
00:18:20,563 --> 00:18:21,396
-[thunder crashes]
-Aah!

434
00:18:22,521 --> 00:18:23,521
What was that?

435
00:18:23,604 --> 00:18:25,938
It sounded like lightning
followed by a scream.

436
00:18:26,062 --> 00:18:27,896
Oh, you are
the clever one.

437
00:18:27,980 --> 00:18:30,354
Leonard, sweetie,
are you all right?

438
00:18:30,438 --> 00:18:33,646
It's your mom!
Quick, act natural.

439
00:18:34,730 --> 00:18:36,187
Oh, my poor doodlebug.

440
00:18:36,271 --> 00:18:38,062
Did that noise scare you?

441
00:18:38,146 --> 00:18:39,479
Yes. Say yes.

442
00:18:39,563 --> 00:18:40,646
Yes.

443
00:18:40,730 --> 00:18:42,062
Good boy.
Now stay cool.

444
00:18:42,146 --> 00:18:43,604
Oh, poor baby.

445
00:18:43,688 --> 00:18:47,396
It was probably just a cat.
Now, come on, hop back into bed.

446
00:18:47,479 --> 00:18:48,813
Okay.

447
00:18:50,354 --> 00:18:52,187
Mom, if I did
something bad--

448
00:18:52,271 --> 00:18:55,604
I mean really bad--
would you still love me?

449
00:18:55,688 --> 00:18:57,021
Well, of course, honey.

450
00:18:57,104 --> 00:18:59,563
I might be really,
really disappointed,

451
00:18:59,646 --> 00:19:01,938
but you're
my little sugarplum,

452
00:19:02,021 --> 00:19:03,187
and I'll always love you
no matter what.

453
00:19:03,271 --> 00:19:04,104
[heart beating]

454
00:19:04,604 --> 00:19:05,646
[Spot thinking]
What is that sound?

455
00:19:06,438 --> 00:19:08,062
[heart beating]

456
00:19:08,146 --> 00:19:09,438
[thunder crashes]

457
00:19:11,688 --> 00:19:13,563
It's coming from the closet.

458
00:19:13,646 --> 00:19:16,896
Could the beating heart Taffy
actually be... beating?

459
00:19:16,980 --> 00:19:18,938
I can't believe
she can't hear it.

460
00:19:19,021 --> 00:19:22,354
Hmm, looks like
another storm's coming in.

461
00:19:22,438 --> 00:19:24,855
She knows.
Keep talking, Leonard.

462
00:19:24,938 --> 00:19:27,730
Mom, there's something
I need to tell you.

463
00:19:27,813 --> 00:19:29,229
What is it, pumpkin?

464
00:19:29,312 --> 00:19:30,146
[heart beating]

465
00:19:30,855 --> 00:19:32,229
She's toying with us.

466
00:19:32,312 --> 00:19:34,187
Well, tonight,

467
00:19:34,271 --> 00:19:36,229
when we went
trick-or-treating...

468
00:19:36,312 --> 00:19:38,229
That's it!

469
00:19:38,312 --> 00:19:40,438
I can't take it anymore!

470
00:19:40,521 --> 00:19:42,604
[barking]

471
00:19:44,563 --> 00:19:45,396
[gasps]

472
00:19:46,146 --> 00:19:48,146
What is this?

473
00:19:48,229 --> 00:19:50,396
[thinking] Hey, it stopped.
What do you know?

474
00:19:50,479 --> 00:19:52,730
It wasn't coming
from the bag after all.

475
00:19:52,813 --> 00:19:55,104
It must have been
my own heartbeat.

476
00:19:55,187 --> 00:19:56,980
Ain't that
a kick in the pants?

477
00:19:57,062 --> 00:19:58,980
Leonard Amadeus Helperman,

478
00:19:59,062 --> 00:20:01,646
you have got
a lot of explaining to do.

479
00:20:01,730 --> 00:20:03,896
Mom, that's what
I was trying to tell you.

480
00:20:03,980 --> 00:20:05,980
I disobeyed you.

481
00:20:06,062 --> 00:20:07,646
Scott and I
did cross the street,

482
00:20:07,730 --> 00:20:09,479
and we did trick-or-treat
for candy.

483
00:20:09,563 --> 00:20:11,396
I didn't eat
any fruits or vegetables,

484
00:20:11,479 --> 00:20:13,396
and I wasn't studying
American history,

485
00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:14,813
and I'm so, so sorry.

486
00:20:14,896 --> 00:20:16,938
Please don't hate me.

487
00:20:17,021 --> 00:20:19,396
Sweetheart, I told you,
I could never hate you,

488
00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:22,021
but I am very disappointed.

489
00:20:22,104 --> 00:20:23,855
Now, you go back to sleep,

490
00:20:23,938 --> 00:20:26,479
and we'll discuss
your punishment in the morning.

491
00:20:26,563 --> 00:20:27,563
Okay, mom.

492
00:20:27,646 --> 00:20:29,021
[moaning and whining]

493
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,646
Oh, Leonard.

494
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:34,563
How could you let your
poor, innocent Spotty-Wottie

495
00:20:34,646 --> 00:20:36,229
eat that vile junk?

496
00:20:36,312 --> 00:20:37,646
Come on, poor baby.

497
00:20:37,730 --> 00:20:40,271
You sleep with me tonight.
Good night, Leonard.

498
00:20:40,354 --> 00:20:41,396
Good night, mom.

499
00:20:41,479 --> 00:20:44,354
[thinking] I'm going to hear
about this tomorrow.

500
00:20:44,563 --> 00:20:46,271
Poor little pupper-wupper.

501
00:20:46,354 --> 00:20:49,646
Did that nasty candy
give you a tummy ache?

502
00:20:49,730 --> 00:20:52,855
What on earth?

503
00:20:52,938 --> 00:20:56,813
[sighs]
Will it never stop raining?

504
00:20:56,896 --> 00:20:58,688
Oh, well, at least
I'm not grounded

505
00:20:58,771 --> 00:21:02,730
with no TV and no treats for a
whole month like someone else I
know.

506
00:21:02,813 --> 00:21:05,062
Need I remind you
that you were the one

507
00:21:05,146 --> 00:21:06,438
who talked me into
disobeying my mom

508
00:21:06,521 --> 00:21:07,354
in the first place?

509
00:21:07,438 --> 00:21:09,521
So since you're
still my dog,

510
00:21:09,604 --> 00:21:11,479
and i'm
still your master,

511
00:21:11,563 --> 00:21:14,896
as long as I'm punished,
you're punished.

512
00:21:14,980 --> 00:21:18,062
Lenny, you wouldn't pull rank
on me, would you?

513
00:21:18,146 --> 00:21:19,438
Absolutely.

514
00:21:19,521 --> 00:21:22,688
Well, I guess we both learned
something from this.

515
00:21:22,771 --> 00:21:25,646
Even though we may not agree
with all the restrictions

516
00:21:25,730 --> 00:21:27,229
our parents place on us,

517
00:21:27,312 --> 00:21:29,187
we should understand
that they love us

518
00:21:29,271 --> 00:21:31,021
and have our best interests
in mind,

519
00:21:31,104 --> 00:21:33,479
and when we break their rules
behind their backs...

520
00:21:33,563 --> 00:21:34,396
[toilet flushes]

521
00:21:34,980 --> 00:21:37,229
Our deception will surely
come back to haunt us.

522
00:21:37,312 --> 00:21:38,104
[growling]

523
00:21:38,438 --> 00:21:39,771
Get it? Haunt us?

524
00:21:39,855 --> 00:21:42,312
See how I worked that
into this whole Halloween theme?

525
00:21:42,396 --> 00:21:45,187
Very clever, but actually,
I already knew all that stuff

526
00:21:45,271 --> 00:21:47,062
about following
our parents' rules.

527
00:21:47,146 --> 00:21:48,896
What I learned
is to never let you

528
00:21:48,980 --> 00:21:51,271
or anybody else
talk me into doing something

529
00:21:51,354 --> 00:21:52,688
that I know
I shouldn't do.

530
00:21:52,771 --> 00:21:55,354
And we've learned
never to take in boarders

531
00:21:55,438 --> 00:21:58,146
without first
checking their references.

532
00:21:58,229 --> 00:21:59,938
Amen to that, brother.

533
00:22:00,021 --> 00:22:03,438
Leonard, look what I found
on our doorstep.

534
00:22:03,521 --> 00:22:04,730
I figure we'll keep
the poor little fella

535
00:22:04,813 --> 00:22:07,438
until we can find him
a good home.

536
00:22:07,521 --> 00:22:08,813
Look, Mr. Jolly--

537
00:22:08,896 --> 00:22:11,813
a new friend
for you to play with.

538
00:22:11,896 --> 00:22:12,730
[cat screeches]