1
00:00:00,354 --> 00:00:01,479
♪ Born on the wrong end
Of the leash ♪

2
00:00:01,563 --> 00:00:04,312
-♪ He was a dreamer ♪
-♪ And a little schemer ♪

3
00:00:04,396 --> 00:00:05,688
♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪

4
00:00:05,771 --> 00:00:07,438
♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪

5
00:00:07,521 --> 00:00:08,354
♪ He'd start to drool ♪

6
00:00:08,438 --> 00:00:09,855
-♪ One day he says ♪
-♪ I'll take a chance ♪

7
00:00:09,938 --> 00:00:11,771
♪ Trades his leash
For a pair of pants ♪

8
00:00:11,855 --> 00:00:14,187
♪ In a glance, school becomes
His favorite pastime ♪

9
00:00:14,271 --> 00:00:16,604
♪ I have buried a bone
For the last time ♪

10
00:00:16,688 --> 00:00:18,021
-♪ He says ♪
-♪ I want to be a boy ♪

11
00:00:18,104 --> 00:00:19,855
♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪

12
00:00:19,938 --> 00:00:21,229
♪ He's so over just being rover ♪

13
00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:22,604
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪

14
00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:25,229
♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪

15
00:00:25,312 --> 00:00:26,688
♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪

16
00:00:26,771 --> 00:00:28,730
♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪

17
00:00:28,813 --> 00:00:30,980
Why can't I be a normal kid
like any other?

18
00:00:31,062 --> 00:00:33,062
Now, doodle bug, listen to mother.

19
00:00:33,146 --> 00:00:34,938
♪ I want to be a boy ♪

20
00:00:35,021 --> 00:00:36,771
I hate dogs.

21
00:00:36,855 --> 00:00:39,730
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪

22
00:00:39,813 --> 00:00:41,479
♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪

23
00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:43,479
I do not wish to be a dog.

24
00:00:43,563 --> 00:00:46,104
♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪

25
00:00:46,187 --> 00:00:47,521
♪ I got to be a boy ♪

26
00:00:47,604 --> 00:00:49,104
♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪

27
00:00:49,187 --> 00:00:52,229
♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪

28
00:00:52,312 --> 00:00:54,146
Yes!

29
00:01:11,229 --> 00:01:15,187
[opera playing]

30
00:01:22,062 --> 00:01:23,646
[humming]

31
00:01:23,730 --> 00:01:26,563
And a fine good morning
to you, brer bird.

32
00:01:26,646 --> 00:01:29,062
I have had a delightful night's sleep,

33
00:01:29,146 --> 00:01:31,646
a lovely visit to the little boy's box,

34
00:01:31,730 --> 00:01:33,271
and now -- ha ha ha --

35
00:01:33,354 --> 00:01:36,896
I am ready to commence
with my ritual morning scratch.

36
00:01:41,479 --> 00:01:42,813
[sighs] Here we go.

37
00:01:42,896 --> 00:01:45,479
Every morning without fail,
out come the claws.

38
00:01:45,563 --> 00:01:46,688
Dig-pull, dig-pull.

39
00:01:46,771 --> 00:01:48,688
"Gee, I miss my mother's milk!"

40
00:01:48,771 --> 00:01:53,021
Is there anything more annoying
than a cat and his cat post?

41
00:01:53,104 --> 00:01:55,646
[Mr. Jolly] Oh, I don't know.
Perhaps...That!

42
00:01:55,730 --> 00:01:56,855
What?

43
00:01:56,938 --> 00:01:59,354
The incessant obsessive/compulsive banging

44
00:01:59,438 --> 00:02:02,104
of your pointy beak against
the spherical aggregation

45
00:02:02,187 --> 00:02:03,688
of little foam bucky balls!

46
00:02:03,771 --> 00:02:06,271
Pick-peck, pick-peck, pick-peck!
Pick, pick, pick!

47
00:02:06,354 --> 00:02:08,021
Dig-pull, dig-pull,
dig-dig-pull!

48
00:02:08,104 --> 00:02:09,396
Pick, pick, pick, pick!

49
00:02:09,479 --> 00:02:10,563
Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig!

50
00:02:10,646 --> 00:02:13,396
Like your miserable floor-hugging
life depended on it!

51
00:02:13,479 --> 00:02:17,354
I don't need to scratch,
I choose to scratch.

52
00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:20,771
I can stop any time I want,
unlike you, seed bell slave!

53
00:02:20,855 --> 00:02:23,021
Ha! I ain't no slave to nothin'.

54
00:02:23,104 --> 00:02:24,855
I can stop pecking right now
and never peck again,

55
00:02:24,938 --> 00:02:26,396
and you know why?

56
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:28,312
'Cause birds have self-control,
not like you cats!

57
00:02:28,396 --> 00:02:30,438
-Do so.
-Do not! Look at you!

58
00:02:30,521 --> 00:02:32,312
You're scratching right now,
and you don't even know it.

59
00:02:32,396 --> 00:02:36,688
Oh, don't be silly.
I am not-- oh, no!

60
00:02:36,771 --> 00:02:37,813
See what I mean?

61
00:02:37,896 --> 00:02:40,938
You don't control that carpet-on-a-stick.

62
00:02:41,021 --> 00:02:42,312
It controls you!

63
00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:45,479
I will not be controlled! I'll give it up.

64
00:02:45,563 --> 00:02:47,646
I swear, I can go without it.

65
00:02:47,730 --> 00:02:50,563
Yeah, right. For how long?

66
00:02:50,646 --> 00:02:54,271
Well, for as long as you can go
without pecking your seed bell.

67
00:02:54,354 --> 00:02:56,438
What? Wh-what would that prove?

68
00:02:56,521 --> 00:02:58,813
Ha ha ha! See? I knew it. You're afraid.

69
00:02:58,896 --> 00:03:01,521
You feathery fellows talk a good game,

70
00:03:01,604 --> 00:03:05,146
but when push comes to shove,
you can't stop pecking, can you?

71
00:03:05,229 --> 00:03:07,229
I can! Longer than you can!

72
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,730
Ooh, battle of the wills?
I rise to the challenge.

73
00:03:09,813 --> 00:03:12,146
Let's just see who's the stronger species,

74
00:03:12,229 --> 00:03:15,730
who can go the longest without
doing that which he loves most.

75
00:03:15,813 --> 00:03:17,062
Starting when?

76
00:03:17,146 --> 00:03:20,271
Right after this.

77
00:03:30,521 --> 00:03:32,479
"When I, Odysseus,

78
00:03:32,563 --> 00:03:37,604
was sailing home to fair Ithaca
with my weary men,

79
00:03:37,688 --> 00:03:42,730
we heard the tempting song
of the siren women."

80
00:03:42,813 --> 00:03:44,563
[imitating siren's song]

81
00:03:47,271 --> 00:03:49,479
"I had to be lashed to the mast

82
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,479
and stuff wax in my sailors' ears

83
00:03:52,563 --> 00:03:55,021
so we wouldn't be lured to our doom

84
00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:58,146
and end up a pile of bleached bones

85
00:03:58,229 --> 00:03:59,980
on the temptress's beach."

86
00:04:02,688 --> 00:04:03,980
And that, I believe,

87
00:04:04,062 --> 00:04:07,980
is why we have wax in our ears
to this very day!

88
00:04:08,062 --> 00:04:12,187
And FYI-- It's an excellent
medium for modeling

89
00:04:12,271 --> 00:04:14,187
if you run out of clay.

90
00:04:14,271 --> 00:04:16,146
[all] Eww!

91
00:04:16,229 --> 00:04:18,730
Hey, just stating the facts.

92
00:04:18,813 --> 00:04:21,604
Ha ha! Well... Thank you, Ian.

93
00:04:21,688 --> 00:04:26,187
Ha ha! And, um, if anyone has...
Touched Ian's model,

94
00:04:26,271 --> 00:04:29,396
please wash your hands before snack.

95
00:04:29,479 --> 00:04:30,354
Ha ha!

96
00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:31,855
[ring]

97
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,521
Hello.

98
00:04:33,604 --> 00:04:34,688
[gibberish]

99
00:04:34,771 --> 00:04:36,062
Yes, indeedy-do.

100
00:04:36,146 --> 00:04:37,479
All righty-rooney.

101
00:04:37,563 --> 00:04:40,896
Doesn't your mom ever just say "okay"?

102
00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:44,104
Okey-deeky-docky-Doe!
I'll send someone right away.

103
00:04:44,187 --> 00:04:46,980
Well, everyone,
the office needs a volunteer

104
00:04:47,062 --> 00:04:48,896
to run down to the kindergarten

105
00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:51,271
and pick up today's hot lunch count.

106
00:04:51,354 --> 00:04:52,271
[all] Me!

107
00:04:52,354 --> 00:04:55,563
Ookey-dook. Let's see...

108
00:04:55,646 --> 00:04:58,146
Well, this time I think
I'll choose Leonard and Scott.

109
00:04:58,229 --> 00:04:59,187
Ha ha ha!

110
00:04:59,271 --> 00:05:00,855
No dawdling, now!

111
00:05:00,938 --> 00:05:03,146
You heard the woman. Come on! Ondelay!

112
00:05:03,229 --> 00:05:05,896
We have a kindergarten
lunch count to tally, man!

113
00:05:05,980 --> 00:05:06,938
And then, math.

114
00:05:07,021 --> 00:05:09,479
Scott, there's something you need to learn

115
00:05:09,563 --> 00:05:10,980
about being a fourth-grader.

116
00:05:11,062 --> 00:05:13,813
The whole point of volunteering
for a job like this

117
00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:15,896
isn't to rush right out and do it

118
00:05:15,980 --> 00:05:18,104
and rush right back
so you don't miss math.

119
00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:19,187
It isn't?

120
00:05:19,271 --> 00:05:20,813
No. The whole point is to dawdle --

121
00:05:20,896 --> 00:05:22,730
you get a little drink of water...

122
00:05:26,312 --> 00:05:28,229
Tie your shoelaces...

123
00:05:28,312 --> 00:05:30,521
Slam a few lockers...

124
00:05:33,604 --> 00:05:36,688
Say "ha ha!" To the guys stuck in class...

125
00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:37,771
Ha ha!

126
00:05:37,855 --> 00:05:41,187
Then get all the way down
to the kindergarten,

127
00:05:41,271 --> 00:05:42,813
come all the way back,

128
00:05:42,896 --> 00:05:45,563
remember you forgot the lunch count,

129
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:48,604
go all the way back
to the kindergarten again,

130
00:05:48,688 --> 00:05:51,062
then when you get back, math is over!

131
00:05:51,146 --> 00:05:52,604
Miss math?

132
00:05:52,688 --> 00:05:56,896
But if dawdling is what
fourth-graders do, so be it.

133
00:05:56,980 --> 00:05:58,438
♪ La la la ♪

134
00:05:58,521 --> 00:06:03,813
This here hallway sure gets
mighty pretty this time of year.

135
00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:05,104
Yes, sir!

136
00:06:06,771 --> 00:06:08,062
Here you go, Scott.

137
00:06:08,146 --> 00:06:09,396
Thank you.

138
00:06:09,479 --> 00:06:11,312
Please sign by the "X's"
and initial here

139
00:06:11,396 --> 00:06:13,771
to acknowledge dispatch
of today's official

140
00:06:13,855 --> 00:06:15,563
kindergarten hot lunch tally.

141
00:06:18,354 --> 00:06:19,604
You're good!

142
00:06:19,688 --> 00:06:21,312
No one here ever got past three.

143
00:06:21,396 --> 00:06:23,312
Eli almost did four one time,

144
00:06:23,396 --> 00:06:25,271
but then they fell on his toe

145
00:06:25,354 --> 00:06:27,855
and he had to go to the nurse to get ice.

146
00:06:27,938 --> 00:06:30,187
I'm going to make it someday.
Just you watch!

147
00:06:30,271 --> 00:06:32,479
Let's go, Leonard. If we hurry,

148
00:06:32,563 --> 00:06:35,187
we can still copy all the math
problems off the board

149
00:06:35,271 --> 00:06:36,563
before she erases them,

150
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,146
so we won't have to miss
any of our homework tonight!

151
00:06:39,271 --> 00:06:40,229
Hee hee hee hee!

152
00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:42,354
What kind of fourth-grader is he?

153
00:06:42,438 --> 00:06:44,521
The annoying kind.

154
00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:46,563
Ha ha! You're funny!

155
00:06:46,646 --> 00:06:48,354
Yeah, well, bye.

156
00:06:48,438 --> 00:06:50,896
Wait! Don't go! Stay for milk.

157
00:06:50,980 --> 00:06:52,688
Uh... Maybe some other time.

158
00:06:55,896 --> 00:06:58,688
You want to help me out here, Scott?

159
00:06:58,771 --> 00:06:59,896
Okay. Um...

160
00:06:59,980 --> 00:07:02,771
Hey, look! The silkworms are hatching!

161
00:07:02,855 --> 00:07:03,771
They are?

162
00:07:03,855 --> 00:07:04,813
Ha ha ha.

163
00:07:04,896 --> 00:07:07,271
Kindergarteners are too easy.

164
00:07:07,354 --> 00:07:11,062
So, I see you got a girlfriend!

165
00:07:11,146 --> 00:07:12,479
She's not my girlfriend.

166
00:07:12,563 --> 00:07:14,146
She's just a little kindergartener

167
00:07:14,229 --> 00:07:16,521
who's never seen a guy
stack blocks before.

168
00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:18,479
Oh, yeah, sure.

169
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,271
Leonard and some-little-kindergartener

170
00:07:20,354 --> 00:07:21,521
who's-never-seen-a-guy-
stack-blocks-before

171
00:07:21,604 --> 00:07:24,104
sittin' in a tree! K-i--

172
00:07:24,187 --> 00:07:25,354
I thought you wanted to get back to math.

173
00:07:25,438 --> 00:07:27,521
This is more fun.

174
00:07:27,604 --> 00:07:29,021
K-i-s-s--

175
00:07:29,104 --> 00:07:32,980
I swear, if you ever want me to
throw you a tennis ball again--

176
00:07:33,062 --> 00:07:33,980
All right, all right.

177
00:07:34,062 --> 00:07:35,229
I-n-g!

178
00:07:35,312 --> 00:07:38,438
See? I can so act like
a fourth-grader, smarty-pants!

179
00:07:38,521 --> 00:07:39,604
First comes love,

180
00:07:39,688 --> 00:07:41,730
then comes marriage, then comes more

181
00:07:41,813 --> 00:07:44,730
little-kindergarteners
who've-never-seen-a-guy

182
00:07:44,813 --> 00:07:47,062
stack-blocks-before
in a baby carriage!

183
00:07:53,396 --> 00:07:57,438
I must be strong. I mustn't be tempted.

184
00:07:57,521 --> 00:08:00,354
Ooh, but just look at you.

185
00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,980
How I remember the joy, the comfort,

186
00:08:03,062 --> 00:08:06,771
the almost zen-like sense
of oneness with the universe

187
00:08:06,855 --> 00:08:10,146
that came from scratching you,
dear, dear post.

188
00:08:10,229 --> 00:08:14,146
But then, not scratching gives
me an even better feeling --

189
00:08:14,229 --> 00:08:17,855
a feeling of self-control,
of my own inner power.

190
00:08:17,938 --> 00:08:21,563
I don't need you and your warm nylon pile

191
00:08:21,646 --> 00:08:25,563
clinging to my rough unsharpened claws...

192
00:08:25,646 --> 00:08:27,563
Polishing them, caressing them...

193
00:08:27,646 --> 00:08:30,229
Loving them!

194
00:08:30,312 --> 00:08:31,980
[sobbing]

195
00:08:32,062 --> 00:08:34,271
I... want... my... post!

196
00:08:34,354 --> 00:08:36,396
I... need... my... post!

197
00:08:36,479 --> 00:08:39,980
I'm suffering from post-post trauma.

198
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:42,062
You are so pathetic.

199
00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:44,730
You have no self-control whatsoever.

200
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:49,521
It wasn't enough I had to have

201
00:08:49,604 --> 00:08:52,354
Cardboard brand Healthy-O's
for breakfast.

202
00:08:52,438 --> 00:08:55,730
She made me a tofu and alfalfa
sprout salad for lunch.

203
00:08:55,813 --> 00:08:58,229
I haven't had anything bad to eat all day!

204
00:08:58,312 --> 00:08:59,229
Look!

205
00:08:59,312 --> 00:09:02,312
[heavenly chorus sings]

206
00:09:04,354 --> 00:09:06,563
Sour peachy gummy slugs.

207
00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:09,771
And hot caramel apple sticks.

208
00:09:09,855 --> 00:09:11,563
I've got 2 cents.

209
00:09:11,646 --> 00:09:13,521
I've got 3 cents.

210
00:09:13,604 --> 00:09:17,730
[both reading]

211
00:09:19,646 --> 00:09:21,563
We can buy one and split it.

212
00:09:21,646 --> 00:09:24,271
Okay, but how do you split a jawcracker?

213
00:09:24,354 --> 00:09:26,855
Easy. One of us sucks the first half,

214
00:09:26,938 --> 00:09:29,730
the other one sucks the second half.

215
00:09:29,813 --> 00:09:32,646
Okay... but how do we decide
who gets to--

216
00:09:32,730 --> 00:09:35,187
I call first suck! Tap, tap, tap!

217
00:09:35,271 --> 00:09:37,730
No erasies! Trademark registered!

218
00:09:46,563 --> 00:09:49,813
♪ You try to cause my call ♪

219
00:09:49,896 --> 00:09:51,646
♪ Ring my bell ♪

220
00:09:51,730 --> 00:09:55,479
♪ I thought you were a good boy,
But you never can tell ♪

221
00:09:55,563 --> 00:09:57,730
♪ You're so naughty... ♪

222
00:09:57,813 --> 00:10:01,813
Mmm. You're really going
to enjoy this, Leonard.

223
00:10:01,896 --> 00:10:03,813
My dog is a rat.

224
00:10:03,896 --> 00:10:06,062
My dog's a cairn terrier.

225
00:10:06,146 --> 00:10:08,646
Hi, Leonard. Want some jawcrackers?

226
00:10:08,730 --> 00:10:11,104
I don't have any money left.

227
00:10:11,187 --> 00:10:12,396
That's okay.

228
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:15,813
My dad lets me give them
to my special friends.

229
00:10:15,896 --> 00:10:18,187
Your dad is the dad in dad's?

230
00:10:18,271 --> 00:10:19,229
Wow!

231
00:10:19,312 --> 00:10:21,146
And you can have a really lot

232
00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:24,479
'cause you're my really,
really special friend.

233
00:10:31,855 --> 00:10:34,896
[singing siren song]

234
00:10:34,980 --> 00:10:36,354
Okay!

235
00:10:39,604 --> 00:10:40,855
Say, Leonard,

236
00:10:40,938 --> 00:10:43,938
are you as good at stickers
as you are at building blocks?

237
00:10:44,021 --> 00:10:47,438
'Cause I got a new
flower fairy book in the back,

238
00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:50,563
and I could sure use
a fourth-grader's help.

239
00:10:50,646 --> 00:10:52,438
Go for it, Lenny baby!

240
00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:57,062
There is no such thing
as free candy in this world.

241
00:10:57,146 --> 00:11:00,479
Besides, your friend Scott
is waiting for you. Look!

242
00:11:05,396 --> 00:11:09,104
Go on, crunch it.
It's just the right size.

243
00:11:09,187 --> 00:11:10,771
No! That's not right.

244
00:11:10,855 --> 00:11:14,187
You know you promised Leonard
second suck.

245
00:11:14,271 --> 00:11:15,855
Aw, the heck with Leonard!

246
00:11:15,938 --> 00:11:18,521
Look at him in there--
about to ditch you

247
00:11:18,604 --> 00:11:20,980
for a little girl with
a jarful of jawcrackers.

248
00:11:21,062 --> 00:11:22,104
Don't be a sap!

249
00:11:22,187 --> 00:11:24,730
You're good buddy out there
is about to crunch!

250
00:11:53,730 --> 00:11:57,062
[groans]

251
00:11:57,146 --> 00:12:01,604
It's been two days
since last I scratched my post.

252
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:03,688
Aah! Look at these things.

253
00:12:03,771 --> 00:12:09,688
Ragged and shredding, splitting down...

254
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,062
[groans]

255
00:12:11,146 --> 00:12:13,896
Mama said there'd be days like this.

256
00:12:18,688 --> 00:12:21,938
Oh, now I see what you like about this.

257
00:12:22,021 --> 00:12:24,730
Mmm! Polished to a burnished glow!

258
00:12:24,813 --> 00:12:28,146
Hey, I can see myself in my claws!

259
00:12:28,229 --> 00:12:33,563
You are so unspeakably cruel,
Pretty Boy Helperman.

260
00:12:33,646 --> 00:12:36,896
Well, well, two can play
that nasty little game.

261
00:12:36,980 --> 00:12:39,646
Pbht!

262
00:12:39,730 --> 00:12:43,855
Mmm, mmm, mmm! Seedy! Delicious!

263
00:12:46,521 --> 00:12:48,813
Aah! Ick! Gak!

264
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,062
And my claws aren't sharp.
I have to get them out!

265
00:13:00,688 --> 00:13:03,855
[laughing]

266
00:13:05,688 --> 00:13:08,771
I should have thought of
this years ago.

267
00:13:12,312 --> 00:13:14,104
Go on, take it! He's gone!

268
00:13:14,187 --> 00:13:16,980
I can't. That's cheating.

269
00:13:17,062 --> 00:13:19,604
What do you care? You cheat all the time!

270
00:13:19,688 --> 00:13:21,771
Wait a minute. Isn't one of you
supposed to be an angel?

271
00:13:21,855 --> 00:13:25,479
Your angel quit! You were too big a pain!

272
00:13:25,563 --> 00:13:28,312
Well, I'll show that angel!
I'll show all of youse!

273
00:13:28,396 --> 00:13:31,813
No scratchy for the kitty,
no seedy for the birdie!

274
00:13:38,479 --> 00:13:39,896
Oh, honey-bunny,

275
00:13:39,980 --> 00:13:43,771
I can't understand why you have
such a bad tummy ache.

276
00:13:43,855 --> 00:13:45,855
What did you eat today?

277
00:13:45,938 --> 00:13:51,354
Um... Nothing I remember.

278
00:13:51,438 --> 00:13:54,271
["Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies" playing]

279
00:14:07,730 --> 00:14:09,438
Normally, I wouldn't do this,

280
00:14:09,521 --> 00:14:13,229
but if my baby's coming down
with some yucky bug,

281
00:14:13,312 --> 00:14:16,813
then maybe this will make him
feel a little bit better.

282
00:14:16,896 --> 00:14:18,813
Sour peachy gummy slugs!

283
00:14:18,896 --> 00:14:20,521
Your favorite! Ha ha ha!

284
00:14:20,604 --> 00:14:23,438
An adorable little
kindergartener and her dad

285
00:14:23,521 --> 00:14:24,771
just dropped them off,

286
00:14:24,855 --> 00:14:27,855
and you think you're not
popular at that school!

287
00:14:27,938 --> 00:14:29,771
Ohh... This is all your fault!

288
00:14:29,855 --> 00:14:31,604
What? What did I do?

289
00:14:31,688 --> 00:14:34,438
The devil said if you crunched
the jawcracker,

290
00:14:34,521 --> 00:14:35,646
I should take the candy.

291
00:14:35,730 --> 00:14:38,354
Well, my devil said if you were
going to take all candy,

292
00:14:38,438 --> 00:14:40,396
I might as well crunch the jawcracker!

293
00:14:40,521 --> 00:14:43,021
He's a liar! Don't trust him!

294
00:14:43,104 --> 00:14:44,396
Trust me.

295
00:14:44,521 --> 00:14:45,771
I'm your real friend.

296
00:14:45,855 --> 00:14:48,896
Come on! Let's take him and his devil on!

297
00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:51,396
No! Leonard's my friend!

298
00:14:51,479 --> 00:14:54,771
You're just an evil projection
of my shadow side,

299
00:14:54,855 --> 00:14:58,646
luring me down the dark path
to my worser nature.

300
00:14:58,730 --> 00:15:02,980
Get thee behind me, devil spot!
Begone, and don't come back!

301
00:15:03,062 --> 00:15:05,980
Aah! Oh, what a world!

302
00:15:06,062 --> 00:15:08,730
Wow, that was easier than you'd think.

303
00:15:08,813 --> 00:15:12,146
Okay, I have an idea
of how we can get you better.

304
00:15:12,229 --> 00:15:15,354
He doesn't! He doesn't!
Only I can get you well!

305
00:15:15,438 --> 00:15:17,354
First, go like this.

306
00:15:21,855 --> 00:15:22,730
Ha ha ha ha.

307
00:15:22,813 --> 00:15:25,312
Okay, now about that tummy ache...

308
00:15:25,396 --> 00:15:27,771
It's not the candy that's making
you feel all sick inside,

309
00:15:27,855 --> 00:15:31,187
it's the fact that you're taking
advantage of a little girl

310
00:15:31,271 --> 00:15:33,312
by letting her think you care about her,

311
00:15:33,396 --> 00:15:35,688
when all you really care about
is the candy.

312
00:15:35,771 --> 00:15:37,104
You know he's right.

313
00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:38,104
No, no!

314
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:39,646
Him we like.

315
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,938
I know you guys are right.
It was fun at first,

316
00:15:42,021 --> 00:15:44,730
but the price of free candy's
just too high.

317
00:15:44,813 --> 00:15:47,646
I look down at Emma's grubby little hands,

318
00:15:47,730 --> 00:15:48,938
finger painting hearts

319
00:15:49,021 --> 00:15:52,312
with some of the letters
of my name spelled backward,

320
00:15:52,396 --> 00:15:55,604
and I just feel dirty,
dirtier than her fingernails.

321
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:56,813
And that's dirty.

322
00:15:56,896 --> 00:15:57,813
Leave it to me.

323
00:15:57,896 --> 00:16:00,229
I'll help you out of this, buddy.

324
00:16:05,187 --> 00:16:06,521
[school bell rings]

325
00:16:06,604 --> 00:16:07,938
Now listen, sweetheart.

326
00:16:08,021 --> 00:16:10,438
I know it feels like Leonard's
the only guy in the world,

327
00:16:10,521 --> 00:16:13,438
the only block in the block bin,

328
00:16:13,521 --> 00:16:15,980
but that's just because you're 5 years old

329
00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:17,771
and you haven't experienced

330
00:16:17,855 --> 00:16:20,146
all the blocks the world has to offer.

331
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:22,354
Look! There's big ones and little ones,

332
00:16:22,438 --> 00:16:24,312
cones and cylinders,

333
00:16:24,438 --> 00:16:27,771
and smiley shapes that tip when
you lay them on their backs.

334
00:16:27,855 --> 00:16:30,813
See? It's a beautiful world
full of magic and wonder,

335
00:16:30,938 --> 00:16:33,563
so don't limit yourself
to just one block.

336
00:16:33,688 --> 00:16:34,771
Experience them all!

337
00:16:34,855 --> 00:16:37,563
I guess you're right.
I don't really love Leonard.

338
00:16:37,688 --> 00:16:39,563
Of course you don't.

339
00:16:39,688 --> 00:16:42,646
I love you! Your tower
is lots bigger than his was!

340
00:16:42,730 --> 00:16:45,646
[bell rings]

341
00:16:49,271 --> 00:16:52,813
What's recess without a peachy gummy slug?

342
00:16:57,271 --> 00:16:59,646
I brought you dessert, Scott.

343
00:17:04,354 --> 00:17:05,771
You didn't think

344
00:17:05,855 --> 00:17:08,646
I'd make you go all afternoon
without a candy break?

345
00:17:10,771 --> 00:17:13,104
Licorice lines!

346
00:17:15,813 --> 00:17:18,896
I know what's making you feel sick.

347
00:17:18,980 --> 00:17:20,271
It's the guilt that comes

348
00:17:20,354 --> 00:17:22,271
from taking advantage of a little girl

349
00:17:22,354 --> 00:17:24,354
by letting her think you care about her,

350
00:17:24,438 --> 00:17:26,688
when all you really
care about is her candy.

351
00:17:26,771 --> 00:17:29,563
Oh, no. Look at all those
wrappers in the closet.

352
00:17:29,688 --> 00:17:30,730
It's the candy.

353
00:17:30,855 --> 00:17:33,229
Well, you helped me out when I needed it,

354
00:17:33,312 --> 00:17:35,438
so now it's my turn to help you.

355
00:17:35,521 --> 00:17:37,438
You're going to take her back?

356
00:17:37,563 --> 00:17:39,938
No. I'm going to eat
the rest of this candy

357
00:17:40,062 --> 00:17:41,354
before you can get to it.

358
00:17:41,479 --> 00:17:44,813
Hey! I was saving that for later...

359
00:17:44,896 --> 00:17:47,312
After I stop feeling sick!

360
00:17:47,396 --> 00:17:48,646
Hey, there, Charlie,

361
00:17:48,730 --> 00:17:51,062
how come you're sitting like that?

362
00:17:51,146 --> 00:17:53,980
Like what? I'm not sitting
any particular way,

363
00:17:54,104 --> 00:17:55,479
hiding my claws or anything,

364
00:17:55,604 --> 00:17:57,479
as if they looked horrid and unkempt

365
00:17:57,604 --> 00:17:58,855
and there was something to be ashamed of

366
00:17:58,938 --> 00:18:02,813
because, uh, there isn't, and I'm not.

367
00:18:02,938 --> 00:18:05,855
[sobbing] I'm so ashamed!

368
00:18:05,980 --> 00:18:07,730
Look, if you dare!

369
00:18:07,855 --> 00:18:09,146
Whoo! Charlie!

370
00:18:09,271 --> 00:18:11,104
What have they done to you?

371
00:18:11,229 --> 00:18:14,021
What have they done to me?
What have I done to myself?

372
00:18:14,146 --> 00:18:16,271
Me and my silly feline pride.

373
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:18,896
I thought I was stronger than a bird,

374
00:18:19,021 --> 00:18:20,146
but what price pride?

375
00:18:20,271 --> 00:18:22,146
Look at these claws.

376
00:18:22,229 --> 00:18:27,396
There's nothing to be proud of,
so I shall humbly admit defeat.

377
00:18:27,479 --> 00:18:29,563
The canary has won.

378
00:18:29,646 --> 00:18:32,146
I must scratch again.

379
00:18:36,229 --> 00:18:37,563
Caraway.

380
00:18:37,646 --> 00:18:39,438
Oh... Millet!

381
00:18:39,521 --> 00:18:41,062
Mmm, good!

382
00:18:41,146 --> 00:18:42,396
Hello!

383
00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:46,438
I, uh, I was, uh,
just straightening the bell.

384
00:18:46,521 --> 00:18:48,146
Ha ha ha! Straightening the bell.

385
00:18:48,229 --> 00:18:51,187
That is so like a bird,
with the lame excuses.

386
00:18:51,271 --> 00:18:54,438
Admit it, my friend--
I am stronger than you.

387
00:18:54,521 --> 00:18:57,187
Cats are stronger than canaries!

388
00:18:57,312 --> 00:18:59,229
Ahem...

389
00:19:02,479 --> 00:19:04,604
All right, we're both weak.

390
00:19:04,688 --> 00:19:05,938
Yeah, I guess we are,

391
00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:08,438
but I'm a lot weaker than you are!

392
00:19:08,521 --> 00:19:10,438
No, no, I'm far the weaker.

393
00:19:10,563 --> 00:19:12,021
Look how much I missed
my silly seed bell!

394
00:19:12,104 --> 00:19:13,479
Not a fraction of how much
I missed my carpet-on-a-stick!

395
00:19:13,563 --> 00:19:14,771
Pick-peck, pick-peck,
pick-peck-pick!

396
00:19:14,896 --> 00:19:17,021
Dig-pull, dig-pull,
dig, dig, dig!

397
00:19:17,146 --> 00:19:19,104
Dig-pull, dig-pull!

398
00:19:19,187 --> 00:19:21,604
Pick-peck, pick-peck!

399
00:19:25,312 --> 00:19:27,479
This plan is going to work for sure,

400
00:19:27,563 --> 00:19:30,146
and then that sweet little kindergartener

401
00:19:30,229 --> 00:19:32,021
will be just a sweet memory.

402
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:34,563
See what I just did there,
with the sweet and the sweet?

403
00:19:34,688 --> 00:19:36,229
Candy... sweet?

404
00:19:38,438 --> 00:19:39,938
Now...

405
00:19:40,021 --> 00:19:41,187
[clears throat]

406
00:19:41,271 --> 00:19:44,187
"I know it feels like Scott Leadready

407
00:19:44,271 --> 00:19:46,563
is the only guy in the--"

408
00:19:46,646 --> 00:19:49,312
Wall? Well?

409
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:50,271
World?

410
00:19:50,396 --> 00:19:51,563
Yeah! Yeah, that works.

411
00:19:51,646 --> 00:19:55,312
"But that's just because
you're five tears bold --"

412
00:19:55,438 --> 00:19:56,980
no, that can't be right.

413
00:19:57,104 --> 00:19:58,187
Oh! "Five years old!"

414
00:19:58,312 --> 00:20:00,771
[snorting] I'm such a ninny.

415
00:20:00,855 --> 00:20:05,104
"And you haven't experienced
the beautiful world

416
00:20:05,187 --> 00:20:07,980
full of wonder and maggots--"

417
00:20:08,062 --> 00:20:09,354
and magic--"

418
00:20:09,438 --> 00:20:10,688
Oh, shoot!

419
00:20:10,771 --> 00:20:13,563
I thought it was getting good
there for a second.

420
00:20:13,688 --> 00:20:16,146
"So don't limit yourself.
Experience everything..."

421
00:20:16,229 --> 00:20:18,271
Blah, blah, blah. Okay, gimme some candy!

422
00:20:18,396 --> 00:20:20,563
When Scott said it, it sounded nice.

423
00:20:20,646 --> 00:20:24,104
When you said it, it just sounded yucky.

424
00:20:24,187 --> 00:20:26,104
I'm getting the impression

425
00:20:26,187 --> 00:20:28,104
there's no gummy slugs
at the end of this deal.

426
00:20:28,187 --> 00:20:30,604
It just makes me like Scott all the more,

427
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:31,896
forever and ever.

428
00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:33,229
Oh, for--

429
00:20:33,312 --> 00:20:36,479
why did you have to go and
make me so darned lovable?

430
00:20:36,604 --> 00:20:38,730
You know what you've got to do.

431
00:20:38,855 --> 00:20:41,813
I've got to bite the bullet
and give it to her straight,

432
00:20:41,938 --> 00:20:45,980
even if it means breaking her
cute little 5-year-old heart.

433
00:20:48,730 --> 00:20:49,938
Emma.

434
00:20:50,021 --> 00:20:52,563
Hi, Scott. I brought you
some Cruncha Reenios.

435
00:20:52,688 --> 00:20:54,479
Darn! My favorite!

436
00:20:54,604 --> 00:20:57,229
Emma, I can't take your Buncha Reenios.

437
00:20:57,312 --> 00:20:59,271
Freshly made this morning.

438
00:20:59,396 --> 00:21:00,479
Okay, just one.

439
00:21:00,604 --> 00:21:02,813
No! I mean--

440
00:21:02,938 --> 00:21:04,062
No, thank you.

441
00:21:04,146 --> 00:21:06,438
You see, I don't really--

442
00:21:06,521 --> 00:21:08,771
I mean, I never really--

443
00:21:08,855 --> 00:21:12,521
Oh, this is very hard
for me to say to you, but--

444
00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:13,563
I did it!

445
00:21:13,688 --> 00:21:15,104
Seven blocks high!

446
00:21:15,187 --> 00:21:16,980
Seven blocks? Wow!

447
00:21:17,104 --> 00:21:19,688
And he's just a kindergartener.

448
00:21:19,771 --> 00:21:23,229
Scott, this is very hard
for me to say to you,

449
00:21:23,312 --> 00:21:26,479
but, well, I'm friends
with Eli now. See ya!

450
00:21:26,604 --> 00:21:29,104
Hey, Eli, want some buncha reenios?

451
00:21:29,187 --> 00:21:30,479
Sure!

452
00:21:30,604 --> 00:21:33,187
Oh, seven blocks is nothing, little girl!

453
00:21:33,271 --> 00:21:35,062
I can do eight! Watch me!

454
00:21:38,730 --> 00:21:41,688
All right, just give me a sec.
It's been a few years.

455
00:21:41,813 --> 00:21:43,312
So here I go.

456
00:21:43,396 --> 00:21:45,187
Buncha Reenios... Buncha Reenios...

457
00:21:45,271 --> 00:21:47,479
You do it for the Buncha Reenios!

458
00:21:47,563 --> 00:21:49,438
Come on, Ian,

459
00:21:49,521 --> 00:21:52,312
let's get you out of here while
you still have some pride left.

460
00:21:52,438 --> 00:21:55,521
But Buncha Reenios, guys...

461
00:21:55,646 --> 00:21:57,938
She has Buncha Reenios!

462
00:21:58,062 --> 00:21:59,771
And for free!

463
00:21:59,855 --> 00:22:01,104
[sobbing]

464
00:22:01,187 --> 00:22:03,271
My friend, if there's
one thing we've learned

465
00:22:03,354 --> 00:22:05,187
in the past few days, it's this --

466
00:22:05,312 --> 00:22:08,438
there's no such thing
as free Buncha Reenios.

467
00:22:08,563 --> 00:22:10,938
And you can make a very sturdy model

468
00:22:11,021 --> 00:22:13,896
of Odysseus and his sailors
out of ear wax.