1 00:00:04,088 --> 00:00:06,424 (CATCH ME IF YOU CAN PLAYING) 2 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:50,593 (SCREAMS) 3 00:01:02,146 --> 00:01:03,898 (SIREN WAILS) 4 00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:05,816 If only you knew what I just dealt with. 5 00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:08,945 I mean, this guy was right in front of me going... 6 00:01:09,028 --> 00:01:11,239 That guy deserves a ticket. I'm sure he's still way back... 7 00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:13,491 A woman never reveals her age. 8 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,409 (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) 9 00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:27,755 JEANNIE: "And only then will the people of Tajikistan 10 00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:30,049 "know true and lasting peace." 11 00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:35,805 Andie, it's brilliant. It's really moving. 12 00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:39,350 But it's never gonna appear in Composure magazine. 13 00:01:40,977 --> 00:01:43,604 God, I busted my butt in grad school 14 00:01:43,688 --> 00:01:46,607 to be Andie Anderson, how-to girl, 15 00:01:46,691 --> 00:01:51,112 and write articles like, How to Use the Best Pick-up Lines, 16 00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:53,447 and Do Blondes, Do They, Like, Really Have More Fun? 17 00:01:53,531 --> 00:01:54,782 (CHUCKLES) 18 00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:58,703 I wanna write about things that matter, like politics 19 00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:02,290 and the environment and foreign affairs, things I'm interested in. 20 00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:05,126 Keep busting your butt. You're gonna get there. 21 00:02:05,376 --> 00:02:07,962 Hey, I got something to cheer you up. 22 00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:10,047 You know that editor from Sports Illustrated 23 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:13,551 that you have been shamelessly flirting with on the phone for, 24 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:18,222 I don't know, a month, now? He made a little delivery this morning. 25 00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:19,473 (CHUCKLES) Ah! 26 00:02:19,557 --> 00:02:22,643 Let me see. Don't. No. Hey! 27 00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,314 (SQUEALS) 28 00:02:26,397 --> 00:02:28,232 -Tomorrow night. -What happens tomorrow night? 29 00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:31,569 Only the most exhilarating and artistic display 30 00:02:31,694 --> 00:02:33,904 of athletic competition known to mankind. 31 00:02:34,030 --> 00:02:37,658 -The Ice Capades are in town? -No, the NBA finals are in town, 32 00:02:37,742 --> 00:02:40,077 and I got tickets! 33 00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:41,746 (ALL CHUCKLING) 34 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:44,332 -Come with me? -All right, I'll go. 35 00:02:44,415 --> 00:02:46,417 But I am not putting out. 36 00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:48,669 Two stale jumbo dogs and a couple of beers, 37 00:02:48,753 --> 00:02:51,589 you'll be whistling a different tune. 38 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:52,757 You know what I like. 39 00:02:52,882 --> 00:02:53,924 (IMITATES KISSING) 40 00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:55,009 Good morning, ladies. 41 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:57,803 Don't forget, staff meeting in 30 minutes. 42 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:03,434 Michelle. Haven't seen her all morning. Have you? 43 00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:05,853 -Ten-to-one she's wallowing. -It's my turn. I'll get her. 44 00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:07,646 You get the coffee. Meet me on the corner in 20. 45 00:03:07,772 --> 00:03:10,316 Wait, wait, wait. Here, take some samples. 46 00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:14,278 Samples. Samples. Great idea. 47 00:03:15,488 --> 00:03:17,782 Boy, drama, drama, drama. 48 00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:20,034 (WHO DO YOU LOVE PLAYING) 49 00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:10,251 Hello, Ben. 50 00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:13,838 Hey, hey. Good morning, Spears. 51 00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:21,262 What are you reading, girl? You catching up on your current events? 52 00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:24,390 "Turn-on Tricks: How to Make Him Hot. " 53 00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:27,101 You know, if you wanna try those out sometime, we should get together. 54 00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:30,396 Green and l have an appointment at Composure, 55 00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:33,357 the fastest-growing women's magazine in the country. 56 00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:36,444 And seeing as how our clients run a lot of our campaigns 57 00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:39,196 in their nationally syndicated little girly magazine, 58 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,866 it wouldn't hurt you to do a little reading. 59 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:44,160 -Hey, Benny. -Good morning, Green. 60 00:04:44,243 --> 00:04:46,954 -You finally decided to show up? -Yes, I did. 61 00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:49,874 -You ready? -Ready. Later, Ben. 62 00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:53,377 Have a nice day, ladies. 63 00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:57,548 Hi! 64 00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,926 (CRYING) 65 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:03,053 Good morning, sunshine. 66 00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:08,267 Okay, get dressed. Get dressed. Staff meeting, 15 minutes. Let's go. 67 00:05:10,895 --> 00:05:14,231 I'm going back to bed. I have no reason to live. 68 00:05:14,315 --> 00:05:15,691 Sun's out. 69 00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:19,278 -Okay, just... -Okay, now. 70 00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:22,740 Cashmere? 71 00:05:24,158 --> 00:05:26,660 Put it on. It'll make your eyes look fiercely green. 72 00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:27,870 (SIGHS) 73 00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:31,040 Get up. I'm not gonna let you lose your job on top of everything else. 74 00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:32,208 (MOANS) 75 00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:34,752 -Come here. -Oh, Andie. 76 00:05:35,628 --> 00:05:37,421 -Okay. -(SIGHS) Okay. 77 00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:40,049 You only dated the guy a week. 78 00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:42,051 It was the best week of my life. 79 00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:43,511 (SOBBING) 80 00:05:43,594 --> 00:05:44,762 Sweetheart. 81 00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:47,515 Good morning, ladies! 82 00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:49,558 -What's up, Tito? -WOMAN: Warren Advertising. 83 00:05:49,642 --> 00:05:52,520 -Yes, he's waiting for you. Hold on. -Good morning. 84 00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:55,648 -What's up, kitty cat? -What's up, daddy? Big night? 85 00:05:55,731 --> 00:05:57,650 -Not bad. -Orgy? 86 00:05:57,733 --> 00:05:59,985 -Where were you? -Not at an orgy. 87 00:06:00,069 --> 00:06:01,487 Did you hear? 88 00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:04,365 What? That my Knickerbockers are now in the championship series 89 00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,825 and Tone the Bone, here, owes me 20 bucks? 90 00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:09,662 -Pay him. -Man, well, you were right. 91 00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:12,122 DeLauer Diamonds is looking for a new ad agency. 92 00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:14,166 Warren wants to move on it aggressively. 93 00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:18,379 Yes! Oh, this is a good day. This is a good day. 94 00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:19,880 Guys, did you know that diamonds 95 00:06:19,964 --> 00:06:22,174 are about as common as taxis on 5th Avenue? 96 00:06:22,258 --> 00:06:24,176 The value is entirely sentimental, 97 00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:28,764 maintained by supply, demand and advertising. 98 00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:32,560 Stripes. Now, DeLauer dominates the world diamond market. 99 00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:36,855 Meaning, if I represent them, I basically represent the entire industry. 100 00:06:37,273 --> 00:06:38,315 (MUTTERS) 101 00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:40,859 -What? -Warren gave it to the Judys. 102 00:06:40,943 --> 00:06:42,152 Spears and Green, they're already on it. 103 00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:43,445 -No way! -TONY: Yeah. 104 00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:46,490 Well, you know, he's kind of partial to hot, leggy chicks. 105 00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:49,243 Yeah, and we're the sneakers and beer division. 106 00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,579 Precious gems aren't exactly our forte. 107 00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:54,582 Lips and hips are over at a chicks' magazine, right now. 108 00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:57,334 -I gotta get to Warren before... -You can't. You can't. He's on a plane. 109 00:06:57,418 --> 00:06:58,919 Easy, pal. Chicago meeting. 110 00:06:59,003 --> 00:07:01,046 And it's too late anyway 'cause Warren's meeting them for drinks 111 00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:02,506 at Mullen's tonight to discuss their idea. 112 00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:04,925 Know what? This didn't happen. You know why? This was my tip. 113 00:07:05,009 --> 00:07:07,720 It's gonna be my pitch, my account, my campaign. This is my baby. 114 00:07:07,803 --> 00:07:10,055 -That's what I'm talking about. -They will not ace me out of this. 115 00:07:10,139 --> 00:07:11,682 -That's right. -I heard that. 116 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:14,768 -Okay, Mullen's tonight. -"I heard that"? 117 00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:20,399 -Hi. -Hi. 118 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,610 -I don't really wanna talk about it, okay? -Okay. 119 00:07:22,693 --> 00:07:23,819 Okay. 120 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,281 Why does this always happen to me? 121 00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:30,242 Things are going great for, like, a week-and-a-half 122 00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:33,954 and then all of a sudden, it's over, and I am mystified! 123 00:07:34,038 --> 00:07:38,375 Seriously, I am mystified because it always starts out so well. 124 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,628 -Poor baby. -Let's just roll with this. 125 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:43,422 Mike and I had such a connection. 126 00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:49,261 The first time that we had sex, it was so beautiful. 127 00:07:49,345 --> 00:07:50,763 I cried. 128 00:07:51,764 --> 00:07:52,806 (SOBS) 129 00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:56,477 -You cried? -Yeah. 130 00:07:57,061 --> 00:08:00,230 You mean like one glistening tear on your cheek, right? 131 00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:04,568 No, l was really emotional. I even told him that I loved him. 132 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:07,905 -After how many days? -Five. 133 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,239 Two. 134 00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:11,992 It was how I felt. I wanted to express myself. 135 00:08:12,076 --> 00:08:14,662 Okay. Well, what did he say? 136 00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:19,249 Oh, Mike didn't have to say anything. I know that he felt the same. 137 00:08:20,042 --> 00:08:23,420 But then, he started getting really busy, and I didn't know where he was, 138 00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:26,757 so I kept calling him, calling him. He was never home. 139 00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:30,094 -You kept calling him? -I didn't leave a message. 140 00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:32,930 He didn't know it was me. My number's blocked. 141 00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:35,849 Oh, I'm sure he thought it was one of his friends. 142 00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:38,018 You know, men frequently call their friends' answering machines 143 00:08:38,102 --> 00:08:39,520 and hang up 20 times. 144 00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:43,232 Anyway, I know why he dumped me. 145 00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:45,859 I'm too fat. 146 00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:48,112 -You're not fat! -You're not fat! 147 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:52,700 Michelle, if the most beautiful woman in the world acted the way you did, 148 00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:55,619 any normal guy would still go running in the other direction. 149 00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:58,872 No. No guy would go running from you, Andie. 150 00:08:58,956 --> 00:09:01,625 You could barf all over him and he would say, "Do it again." 151 00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:02,793 (CHUCKLES) 152 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:06,130 That is both incredibly disgusting and categorically untrue. 153 00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:08,924 If I did the things you did, I'd get dumped, too. 154 00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:13,470 Okay, family, shoes off. 155 00:09:16,974 --> 00:09:18,434 And breathe. 156 00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:20,144 (ALL INHALING DEEPLY) 157 00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:22,396 Out. 158 00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:24,773 (ALL EXHALING) 159 00:09:24,857 --> 00:09:26,275 Okay, Lori, let's start with you. 160 00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:28,652 Well, the BOTOX for Beginners piece is done. 161 00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:31,447 Now, it's a little scary, but mostly upbeat. 162 00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:33,073 Now I'm on What Your Gyno Won't Tell You, 163 00:09:33,157 --> 00:09:36,160 which is also pretty scary, but, you know, upbeat. 164 00:09:36,285 --> 00:09:38,412 I finished my research on Deadly Pedicures, 165 00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:42,249 about the woman who contracted that fungus from the unsterilized tools. 166 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:46,962 It's a terrible story, although surprisingly upbeat. 167 00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:49,173 -(MOUTHING) Upbeat. -LANA: Marvelous. 168 00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:52,634 What's next for How-To With Andie? 169 00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:56,680 Well, I've been working on something that's, kind of, different. 170 00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:59,725 -It's... It's a political piece and it's... -No. 171 00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:02,644 Andie, you work at Composure magazine. 172 00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:05,522 We are fashion, trends, diets, cosmetic surgeries, 173 00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:08,192 salacious gossip, that's Composure. 174 00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:10,861 -Okay, but... -Look, Andie. Okay. 175 00:10:10,986 --> 00:10:12,738 The column is new for you. 176 00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:14,448 When you turn it into a must-read, 177 00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:16,825 then you can write about whatever you want. 178 00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:20,370 Until then, you can write about whatever I want. 179 00:10:20,496 --> 00:10:22,414 -Understood? -Yeah. 180 00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:25,542 Michelle, what have you got? 181 00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:30,255 I'm sorry, Lana. I wasn't feeling very well. 182 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:34,676 -She got dumped. -Oh, no, Michelle! 183 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:37,179 What a hellish ordeal for you. 184 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,973 But I must say, you are looking fabulous. 185 00:10:40,057 --> 00:10:42,684 Are we loving the way she looks, all? 186 00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:45,062 -We love the way she looks. -Oh, you're so right. She looks great. 187 00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:49,983 -I haven't eaten since the split. -Good for you! Write about it. 188 00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:52,402 I can't use my personal life for a story. 189 00:10:52,528 --> 00:10:54,571 I understand completely. 190 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,950 Who will use Michelle's personal life for a story? 191 00:10:58,075 --> 00:10:59,743 -Oh, I will! -LANA: Go. 192 00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:02,663 No, no, no! Lana, with all due respect, 193 00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:06,834 Lori has no business mucking around in my personal life, and I can't let her. 194 00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:09,169 -I'II do it. -What? 195 00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:11,964 I'II sort of do it. It's... 196 00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:13,882 You will be my inspiration. 197 00:11:13,966 --> 00:11:16,677 -For? -Look at Michelle. 198 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:20,722 -She is a great girl, right? -LANA: Yes. 199 00:11:20,806 --> 00:11:22,641 An amazing woman. 200 00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:26,979 But she has a problem hanging on to relationships, 201 00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:29,273 and doesn't really know what's she doing wrong, 202 00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,941 which is like a lot of our readers. 203 00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:32,109 Uh-huh. 204 00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:37,573 So I was thinking that I could start by dating a guy 205 00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:38,949 and then drive him away, 206 00:11:39,074 --> 00:11:43,662 but only using the classic mistakes most women, like Michelle, 207 00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:46,081 make all the time. 208 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:50,127 I'll keep a diary of it 209 00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:55,966 and it will be sort of a dating how-to in reverse. 210 00:11:58,093 --> 00:12:00,012 -What not to do. -Yeah. 211 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:03,682 How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. 212 00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,351 Yes. Go. 213 00:12:06,852 --> 00:12:10,230 -Bart, what's new in the shoe... -Wait, wait, Lana. I'm sorry. 214 00:12:10,314 --> 00:12:11,481 Why 10 days? 215 00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:14,651 Five days is too short, and we go to press in 11. Yes? 216 00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:18,238 BART: Okay, what we found out is men are attracted to purple shoes. 217 00:12:18,322 --> 00:12:21,450 -(MOUTHING) Thank you. -BART: Now, I love them myself... 218 00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:24,244 LANA: Maybe toss in something spiritual as well. 219 00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:27,122 Who's that chic Buddhist Richard Gere cavorts with? 220 00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:29,333 -The Dalai Lama? -He's fabulous. 221 00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:32,336 -Here's my 10:00. Welcome. -Hi. 222 00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:36,298 Ladies, Judy Spears and Judy Green from Warren Advertising. 223 00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:39,509 We're going to cook up some fabulous tie-ins for the fall. 224 00:12:39,635 --> 00:12:43,805 Jeannie Ashcroft, fashion and trends. Michelle Rubin, fitness and health. 225 00:12:43,889 --> 00:12:45,140 Excuse me. Hi. 226 00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:47,392 And Andie Anderson, our resident how-to girl. 227 00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:50,604 Oh, I've seen your column, Andie. What are you working on now? 228 00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:54,149 How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. 229 00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:56,151 She's actually going to start dating a guy 230 00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:58,695 and then drive him away in a week-and-a-half. 231 00:12:58,820 --> 00:12:59,947 (BOTH LAUGH) 232 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,782 Sounds needlessly vicious. 233 00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:03,617 It's going to be fabulous. 234 00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:06,286 Now, all she has to do is run along and find the lucky guy. 235 00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:07,788 -Go, go, go. -Nice to meet you. 236 00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:09,790 Ladies, come. 237 00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:12,376 Find the guy. Find the guy. 238 00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,796 You are never going to pull this off. 239 00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:19,967 Watch me. Tonight, I'II hook a guy. Tomorrow, pull the switch. 240 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,176 Before the 10 days are up, 241 00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:23,178 I'm gonna have this guy running for his life. 242 00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:26,515 You're not gonna burn his apartment down or bite him or anything, are you? 243 00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:28,517 No, I'm gonna limit myself 244 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,269 to doing everything girls do wrong in relationships. 245 00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:33,522 Basically, everything we know guys hate. 246 00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:36,149 I'll be clingy, needy. 247 00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:37,776 -Be touchy-feely. -ANDIE: Yeah. 248 00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:39,361 Ooh! Call him in the middle of the night 249 00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:41,405 and tell him everything you had to eat that day. 250 00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:43,407 What's wrong with that? 251 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:45,617 I'm kidding. 252 00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:49,788 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 253 00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:58,880 Hello, Ben. 254 00:13:58,964 --> 00:14:02,175 -What are you doing here? -Phil, I'm here for the meeting. Ladies. 255 00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:05,178 -But, you weren't invited. -Yeah, but I should have been. 256 00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:07,431 I mean, it was my tip that DeLauer was shopping for a new firm. 257 00:14:07,556 --> 00:14:10,600 Yes, it was, but I have to think in terms of who's best suited 258 00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:11,893 within the company team. 259 00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:14,646 Yes, sir, and that's me. I wanna handle this pitch. 260 00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:17,816 Ben, you sell Joe Blow better than anyone else in my shop, 261 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:21,987 but these girls sell luxury better than anyone else in the business. 262 00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:25,115 We have to put our best foot forward on this pitch. 263 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,826 -DeLauer would be our biggest account. -Yes, sir, they would. 264 00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:31,371 Annual advertising billings of 50 to 60 million dollars, 265 00:14:31,455 --> 00:14:34,249 and I am the man that's gonna bring this home for you, Phil. 266 00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:36,710 -MICHELLE: Why this place? -Because it's perfect. 267 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,086 -Hi, Ingrid. -Hi. 268 00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:43,341 Mullen's is the après-work watering hole for the upwardly mobile. 269 00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:46,470 Now, to date, the diamond industry has always targeted men, 270 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:50,182 sending the message that the woman needs the man to buy her the rock. 271 00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:52,517 All right, they say, "A diamond is forever." 272 00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:55,187 We say, "A diamond is for everyone." 273 00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:56,563 -I like that. -Yes. 274 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,816 We don't. "A diamond is for everyone" 275 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,944 sends the message that diamonds are everywhere, 276 00:15:03,028 --> 00:15:05,864 which means they're not rare, and if they're not rare, 277 00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,616 they lose their status. 278 00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:10,494 Status is the reason to buy them in the first place, 279 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,163 which Benjamin would know if he understood women, 280 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,498 which you don't. 281 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,249 (ALL LAUGH) 282 00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:19,920 You can't feel bad about that, Ben. No man does. 283 00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:21,838 -BARTENDER: Here you go. -Thank you. 284 00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:23,006 Oh! 285 00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:24,257 Sorry. 286 00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:28,595 -Here. Here. -Thanks. 287 00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,889 (HUMMING) 288 00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:33,558 Hey, don't pressure her. She's perusing. 289 00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:35,185 Yes, exactly. 290 00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:41,358 Selling a diamond to a woman is like making her fall in love. 291 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:46,905 She has to feel giddy, desirous, adventurous and desperate. 292 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,157 Take a look around this room, Phillip. 293 00:15:49,241 --> 00:15:51,910 Most of the women in this bar are looking for just that. 294 00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:54,496 Exactly. The skills required to market diamonds 295 00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:57,374 are the same as those needed to make a woman fall in love, yes. 296 00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:01,086 I'm not talking about lust. A woman in lust wants chocolate. 297 00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:04,047 A woman in love wants diamonds. 298 00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:07,717 Yeah, I'm not talking about lust either, ladies. 299 00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:12,472 I'm talking about deep, meaningful, head-over-heels, his-and-her towels, 300 00:16:12,556 --> 00:16:16,351 let's grow old together L-O-V-E. 301 00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:19,437 Look, I love women. 302 00:16:19,563 --> 00:16:24,401 I do. Whether they're 4 or 40 or my 88-year-old grandmother, 303 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,278 I respect women, all right? 304 00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:29,531 And I also listen to women. 305 00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:34,661 And that's why I can sell myself to any woman, anywhere, anytime. 306 00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:39,416 Make a woman fall in love with diamonds, Benjamin, or with you? 307 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,668 Either one. 308 00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:45,130 -That's cocky, Ben. -No, not cocky. Confident. 309 00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:47,340 (CHUCKLES) 310 00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:50,135 -I'd like to see you prove that. -You would? 311 00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:54,556 The agency is co-hosting a party for the DeLauers at the Astor Museum. 312 00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:56,391 The party's a week from Sunday. 313 00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:59,561 Do you think you can make a woman fall in love with you by then? 314 00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:03,273 -Ten days. -Any woman, anywhere, anytime. 315 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:07,027 Any single, available, straight woman, yes. 316 00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:11,198 Yes. I'm not trying to trick you, Ben. In fact, 317 00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:15,076 we'll choose a woman right here, right now, in this bar, 318 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,661 and then you decide. 319 00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:21,124 -So who's the lucky girl? -Okay. 320 00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:22,292 (CHUCKLES) 321 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,002 Let's see here. 322 00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:26,755 There's that blonde babe in the leopard print. 323 00:17:26,838 --> 00:17:29,382 -She looks like fun. -Be nice, ladies. 324 00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:34,304 Or, wow, Miss Babylon 5. Now she's on the prowl. 325 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,514 No. 326 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,099 Her. 327 00:17:38,183 --> 00:17:40,310 -Her who? -Her in the gray dress. 328 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,812 Blonde hair, pretty smile. 329 00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:44,648 (LAUGHING) 330 00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,235 Her? 331 00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,534 -Done. -What? 332 00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:00,705 -Done. -Done. 333 00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:04,876 See the guy next to the horrible guy in the green shirt 334 00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:06,461 that I would never even consider? 335 00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:08,296 MICHELLE: Okay? JEANNIE: Very cute. 336 00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,590 -ANDIE: Right? -Good. 337 00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:12,175 (SQUEALS) Here I go. 338 00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:16,179 Okay, you're on. 339 00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,515 But here are the stakes. 340 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:21,893 -After I win this bet, this pitch is mine. -Agreed. 341 00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:23,770 -Phil? -Agreed. 342 00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:27,899 You come to that party with a girl that's really in love with you, Ben, 343 00:18:27,983 --> 00:18:30,193 you can make the pitch to the DeLauers. 344 00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:33,238 -But, Phillip, you can't... -I've made up my mind. 345 00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:37,033 -To the DeLauers. -To the DeLauers. 346 00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:39,035 -Cheers. -Cheers. 347 00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:44,249 I was just wondering if you find... 348 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:47,794 Exciting. 349 00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:52,173 Yes, my wife and I love New York, especially this time of year. 350 00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:55,385 -She'd been here before and I... -Hi. 351 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:56,761 -Hi. -This is Andie. 352 00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:58,096 Hi. 353 00:18:58,179 --> 00:18:59,222 (GASPS) 354 00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:01,558 -You guys enjoy New York. -Okay. 355 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:04,019 -Thanks, we will. -Nice meeting you. 356 00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:10,775 -Good luck. -Thank you, Phil. 357 00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:14,571 Now, if you'll excuse me, ladies, I have a bet to win. 358 00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:17,157 Ta-ta. 359 00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:25,040 Now do you wanna tell me what's going on? 360 00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:27,042 You don't recognize her? 361 00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:35,175 Hi! 362 00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:36,885 -Hi. -Hi. 363 00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:43,516 -Andie Anderson. -Benjamin Barry. 364 00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,477 -Cute. -Thank you. 365 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,020 I meant your name. 366 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,106 Thank you two times. 367 00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,734 -Unattached? -Currently. 368 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:56,279 -Likewise. -Surprising. 369 00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:58,782 -Psycho? -Rarely. 370 00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:00,325 Mmm. 371 00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:03,578 -Interested? -Perhaps. 372 00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:07,248 -Hungry? -Starving. 373 00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:08,625 -Leaving. -Now? 374 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:09,751 Mmm-hmm. 375 00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:12,545 -Okay. -Okay. 376 00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:15,548 -One second. -I'II meet you at the door. 377 00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:18,301 Hey, hey, guys. 378 00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:20,845 -What? -I think I got one. 379 00:20:20,929 --> 00:20:23,348 -He was married. -No, not him. 380 00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:26,684 It's the guy by the door. But don't look! No, guys! 381 00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:31,481 He is really cute. 382 00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,566 I'm gonna check this one out and see if he's the keeper. 383 00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:35,610 -Okay. -And if he is? 384 00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:38,029 Tomorrow night I'll... 385 00:20:38,113 --> 00:20:39,864 Flip the switch. 386 00:20:40,365 --> 00:20:44,035 -I'm doing this for you. -Well, good luck. Be safe. 387 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:45,537 Call me! 388 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:48,832 Drama, drama, drama. 389 00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:02,554 No, no, no. This one. 390 00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:10,019 (HUMMING) 391 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:18,736 And you get to wear the goofy-looking helmet. 392 00:21:21,072 --> 00:21:25,493 -It's not gonna look goofy on me. -It looks goofy on just about everybody. 393 00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:28,705 Look at you. That's pretty damn cute. 394 00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:33,793 There you go. 395 00:21:40,550 --> 00:21:46,431 -You ready to go for a ride, Andie? -Are you ready to go for a ride, Ben? 396 00:21:46,681 --> 00:21:47,932 (CHUCKLES) 397 00:21:55,273 --> 00:21:57,650 (BEN MOANING) 398 00:21:57,984 --> 00:22:00,737 -Get it. Get it? -Yeah. 399 00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:04,699 -So what do you think? -About the food or you? 400 00:22:04,782 --> 00:22:06,075 Both. 401 00:22:07,118 --> 00:22:09,037 -This is delicious. -Mmm-hmm. 402 00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:11,539 And I'm still deciding. 403 00:22:11,623 --> 00:22:13,041 Anything I can do to help? 404 00:22:13,124 --> 00:22:15,877 Yeah, you can answer some questions for me, actually. 405 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:19,506 "Some" sounds a little too indefinite. I'll give you three. 406 00:22:19,589 --> 00:22:22,008 -What do you do for a living? -I'm in advertising. 407 00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:25,178 I work mostly with alcoholic beverage and athletic equipment companies, 408 00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:27,972 and I'm trying to break into the jewelry market right now. 409 00:22:28,056 --> 00:22:29,390 Mmm. 410 00:22:29,474 --> 00:22:32,185 Saving the world one keg party at a time? 411 00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:34,437 Yeah, something like that. 412 00:22:36,314 --> 00:22:38,149 (LAUGHING) 413 00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:41,611 -What about you? -What about me? 414 00:22:42,737 --> 00:22:45,657 -Have I seen your work? -I work at Composure. 415 00:22:45,740 --> 00:22:49,035 Fastest-growing women's fashion magazine in the country. 416 00:22:49,118 --> 00:22:50,370 I'm impressed. 417 00:22:50,453 --> 00:22:53,414 Saving the world one shopaholic at a time? 418 00:22:53,498 --> 00:22:54,582 (LAUGHING) 419 00:22:54,666 --> 00:22:57,710 Hey, all right. Look here, Sparky. 420 00:22:57,794 --> 00:23:00,922 l have a masters in journalism from Columbia. 421 00:23:01,005 --> 00:23:04,217 My boss loves me, and if I do it her way for a while, 422 00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:06,761 I can write about anything I want. 423 00:23:06,844 --> 00:23:08,221 Like shoes? 424 00:23:08,304 --> 00:23:09,389 No. 425 00:23:09,472 --> 00:23:10,557 (STIFLED CHUCKLE) 426 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:11,808 No. 427 00:23:13,226 --> 00:23:16,563 Like alcoholic beverages and athletic gear. 428 00:23:16,646 --> 00:23:17,897 (BOTH LAUGH) 429 00:23:18,273 --> 00:23:20,024 Touché. Very nice. 430 00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:24,279 -So you think you got me all figured out? -Almost. 431 00:23:25,947 --> 00:23:28,700 -I still got one last question. -Shoot. 432 00:23:30,326 --> 00:23:31,869 True or false? 433 00:23:35,248 --> 00:23:37,417 All's fair in love and war. 434 00:23:41,254 --> 00:23:42,422 True. 435 00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:48,469 -Great answer. -Good question. 436 00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:52,056 Welcome. 437 00:23:55,226 --> 00:23:58,062 -Oh, nice place. -Thank you. 438 00:23:58,146 --> 00:23:59,522 Very tidy. 439 00:23:59,606 --> 00:24:00,857 (BEN CHUCKLES) 440 00:24:01,190 --> 00:24:04,110 -Can I get you a cold beer? -Sure. 441 00:24:04,193 --> 00:24:06,487 -Can I use your restroom? -Yeah, you can. 442 00:24:06,571 --> 00:24:09,365 It's up the stairs through the bedroom. 443 00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:15,496 MICHELLE ON PHONE: You are, aren't you? The first night. I can't believe you. 444 00:24:15,580 --> 00:24:17,790 Michelle, I'm not going to sleep with him. 445 00:24:17,874 --> 00:24:21,044 Oh, you are such a hussy. You can't hide those lying eyes. 446 00:24:21,127 --> 00:24:25,048 No, no, because I can practice some self-control, 447 00:24:25,131 --> 00:24:28,301 -unlike some people I know. -Oh, really? That hurts, kind of. 448 00:24:28,384 --> 00:24:30,011 (BEN HUMMING) 449 00:24:30,928 --> 00:24:32,972 (HOT IN HERE PLAYING) 450 00:24:36,225 --> 00:24:39,145 -l'm gonna dangle the bait. -MICHELLE: Wait. What's the bait? 451 00:24:39,228 --> 00:24:41,522 -I'm the bait, Michelle. -Oh. 452 00:24:41,606 --> 00:24:44,275 -Yeah. -Okay, I'm with you. Then what? 453 00:24:47,737 --> 00:24:49,113 Mmm. 454 00:24:50,573 --> 00:24:53,785 A diamond is no one-night stand. 455 00:24:57,455 --> 00:24:59,415 (LET'S STAY TOGETHER PLAYING) 456 00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:04,587 A diamond is a long-term commitment. 457 00:25:04,921 --> 00:25:06,381 MICHELLE: Takes notes. You better record… 458 00:25:06,464 --> 00:25:08,257 I can't talk right now. I have to go. 459 00:25:08,341 --> 00:25:10,927 -Call me later, you slut. -Okay, bye. 460 00:25:11,260 --> 00:25:12,845 (CLEARS THROAT) 461 00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:24,440 -There you go. -Thank you. 462 00:25:24,524 --> 00:25:25,858 You're welcome. 463 00:25:33,991 --> 00:25:35,034 Ooh! 464 00:26:03,479 --> 00:26:04,647 Okay. 465 00:26:32,133 --> 00:26:34,927 (SOFTLY) Hey, hey, let's not go too fast, okay? 466 00:26:38,681 --> 00:26:39,849 Yeah. 467 00:26:40,349 --> 00:26:41,601 Yeah. 468 00:26:45,021 --> 00:26:46,105 Mmm. 469 00:26:54,864 --> 00:26:56,783 We're moving too fast. 470 00:26:57,533 --> 00:27:00,787 You're right. It's too fast. 471 00:27:03,539 --> 00:27:04,665 Okay. 472 00:27:05,708 --> 00:27:06,793 (GROANS) 473 00:27:19,347 --> 00:27:21,057 -Too fast. -Too fast. 474 00:27:21,808 --> 00:27:22,975 Yeah. 475 00:27:23,726 --> 00:27:26,062 I want you to respect me. 476 00:27:27,980 --> 00:27:29,899 -I do. -Okay. 477 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,236 And I want your respect. 478 00:27:34,070 --> 00:27:36,072 I respect you for respecting me. 479 00:27:36,739 --> 00:27:38,324 I respect that. 480 00:27:39,659 --> 00:27:40,868 Good. 481 00:27:45,331 --> 00:27:46,707 (SIGHS) 482 00:27:51,754 --> 00:27:54,006 BEN: Good night, Andie Anderson. 483 00:27:58,845 --> 00:28:02,348 Oh, you are already falling in love with me. 484 00:28:02,431 --> 00:28:05,184 I'm gonna make you wish you were dead. 485 00:28:06,936 --> 00:28:08,271 Poor guy. 486 00:28:18,406 --> 00:28:20,533 Of all the women Spears and Green could have thrown at me, 487 00:28:20,616 --> 00:28:22,451 this one is amazing. 488 00:28:22,577 --> 00:28:25,621 Hanging with her for 10 days is gonna be no problem. 489 00:28:25,746 --> 00:28:27,540 Right. That's only nine days longer 490 00:28:27,623 --> 00:28:29,375 than you've ever spent with any other chick, huh? 491 00:28:29,458 --> 00:28:31,043 That's why I didn't go for the gold immediately. 492 00:28:31,127 --> 00:28:34,714 I'm taking my time. It's a marathon, not a sprint. 493 00:28:34,797 --> 00:28:36,966 Ten days is a marathon? 494 00:28:37,049 --> 00:28:39,218 Okay, so it's more like the 3,000 meter hurdles. 495 00:28:39,302 --> 00:28:41,470 The point is, she's already on the ropes, guys. 496 00:28:41,596 --> 00:28:43,055 Wow, that's a lot of sports analogy. 497 00:28:43,139 --> 00:28:44,307 (BEN CHUCKLES) 498 00:28:44,432 --> 00:28:46,642 -Is that it? -That's it. 499 00:28:46,767 --> 00:28:48,978 -Have you looked inside? -No. 500 00:28:49,103 --> 00:28:52,064 Do you have an ethical problem with rifling through a woman's purse? 501 00:28:52,148 --> 00:28:53,733 Yeah, I guess I do. 502 00:28:53,816 --> 00:28:56,819 Well, it's hardly a purse, dude. It's more like a clutch or something. 503 00:28:56,903 --> 00:29:01,073 Guys, a woman's purse, all right, it's her secret source of power. 504 00:29:01,157 --> 00:29:04,160 All right, there are many dark and dangerous things in there 505 00:29:04,285 --> 00:29:07,830 that we, the male species, should know nothing about. 506 00:29:07,955 --> 00:29:11,000 Unless, of course, she left it behind intentionally 507 00:29:11,125 --> 00:29:13,461 to secure a next-day call back. 508 00:29:14,337 --> 00:29:16,339 She's a very clever minx. 509 00:29:16,756 --> 00:29:17,840 Oops! 510 00:29:17,924 --> 00:29:20,509 -I'm sorry! Oh, God! -We gotta clean that up. 511 00:29:20,593 --> 00:29:22,428 Yeah, yeah. 512 00:29:22,511 --> 00:29:25,473 Carefully. Carefully. 513 00:29:27,308 --> 00:29:29,268 Oh, what have we here? 514 00:29:29,977 --> 00:29:32,021 Let us see. Let us see. 515 00:29:32,605 --> 00:29:33,689 Oh! 516 00:29:33,773 --> 00:29:35,358 Knicks tickets. 517 00:29:36,192 --> 00:29:38,527 For tonight's game. 518 00:29:39,528 --> 00:29:42,823 -Delivery, Andie. -WOMAN: Wow, look at those! 519 00:29:43,532 --> 00:29:46,202 Andie! Oh, my God. 520 00:29:46,327 --> 00:29:48,704 MAN: Where do you want these? 521 00:29:48,829 --> 00:29:49,872 Wait. 522 00:29:49,997 --> 00:29:54,961 "One hundred times more beautiful..." 523 00:29:55,044 --> 00:29:56,379 Wait. 524 00:29:56,462 --> 00:29:58,881 "...than 100 roses." 525 00:29:59,006 --> 00:30:01,801 -Catchy. -The guy's in advertising. 526 00:30:01,884 --> 00:30:05,638 -He can't help it. -So does this mean he's hooked? 527 00:30:05,721 --> 00:30:07,974 This means he found the Knicks tickets. 528 00:30:08,057 --> 00:30:11,227 -You left the tickets in the purse? -Yeah. 529 00:30:11,310 --> 00:30:14,063 You are just on a whole different playing field. 530 00:30:14,188 --> 00:30:15,564 (PHONE RINGING) 531 00:30:15,648 --> 00:30:17,066 Here you go. 532 00:30:18,234 --> 00:30:19,902 Andie Anderson. 533 00:30:20,695 --> 00:30:23,239 -Hey, hey, pretty girl. -Guess what? 534 00:30:23,364 --> 00:30:26,492 I got a really embarrassing display of white roses. 535 00:30:26,575 --> 00:30:29,578 Well, you are welcome. Listen, I had a wonderful time last night. 536 00:30:29,704 --> 00:30:33,499 -I have your bag. -I know. 537 00:30:33,582 --> 00:30:35,668 I can't believe I left it there. 538 00:30:35,751 --> 00:30:37,169 (BOTH LAUGH) 539 00:30:37,253 --> 00:30:41,841 Well, you must need it back, what with all the cash, credit cards 540 00:30:41,924 --> 00:30:44,593 and those Knicks tickets for tonight's game. 541 00:30:44,719 --> 00:30:47,346 Sounds like you've been peeking through my bag, Ben. 542 00:30:47,430 --> 00:30:48,514 Oh, absolutely not. 543 00:30:48,597 --> 00:30:52,268 Tony, my art director, he's an oaf, and he accidentally knocked it over. 544 00:30:52,393 --> 00:30:54,812 (GRUNTS IN PAIN) Right. Yeah, I'm a clumsy man. 545 00:30:56,105 --> 00:30:57,440 All right. I'm sorry, though. 546 00:30:57,565 --> 00:30:59,692 I'm going to the game with somebody else. 547 00:30:59,775 --> 00:31:01,193 Not anymore. 548 00:31:01,277 --> 00:31:04,196 Besides, what, you think you left your purse at my place by accident? 549 00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:05,781 No, subconsciously, you are dying 550 00:31:06,282 --> 00:31:07,283 to take me to that game. 551 00:31:07,700 --> 00:31:09,368 Denying your subconscious desires 552 00:31:09,452 --> 00:31:11,787 is extremely dangerous to your health, young lady. 553 00:31:11,912 --> 00:31:13,873 Does that psychobabble really work on anybody? 554 00:31:13,956 --> 00:31:15,541 You tell me. 555 00:31:15,624 --> 00:31:16,709 (CLEARS THROAT) 556 00:31:16,792 --> 00:31:18,961 MICHELLE: Andie, you're so bad. 557 00:31:21,589 --> 00:31:24,216 All right, meet me at the 7th Avenue entrance. 558 00:31:24,300 --> 00:31:27,053 -7:30. Don't be late. -You got it. 559 00:31:27,136 --> 00:31:28,888 -Bye-bye. -Bye. 560 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:34,727 -And that's how it's done. -And that's how it's done. 561 00:31:35,519 --> 00:31:37,063 (CROWD CLAPPING RHYTHMICALLY) 562 00:31:39,231 --> 00:31:40,316 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 563 00:31:40,441 --> 00:31:43,569 ANNOUNCER: Foul on number 20, Allan Houston. 564 00:31:43,652 --> 00:31:45,321 (CROWD JEERING) 565 00:31:45,404 --> 00:31:47,490 -Bullshit! Come on, ref! -What is that, ref? 566 00:31:47,615 --> 00:31:50,659 Hey, if you're going to call it, call it both ways. 567 00:31:50,785 --> 00:31:52,745 ANDIE: Oh, you're soft, man! 568 00:31:52,828 --> 00:31:56,332 You were soft last year, and you're still soft! 569 00:31:56,999 --> 00:31:58,626 What was that? 570 00:32:04,131 --> 00:32:07,259 There we go. Work it around. 571 00:32:10,805 --> 00:32:12,181 (ORGAN PLAYING) 572 00:32:12,306 --> 00:32:14,016 CROWD: (CHANTING) Defense! 573 00:32:14,141 --> 00:32:16,435 -Defense! -Come on, buddy. 574 00:32:16,519 --> 00:32:17,853 Defense! 575 00:32:18,771 --> 00:32:20,106 Defense! 576 00:32:20,189 --> 00:32:21,649 Defense! 577 00:32:21,774 --> 00:32:22,858 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 578 00:32:22,942 --> 00:32:24,276 ANNOUNCER: Knicks call a 20-second timeout. 579 00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:27,029 All right, take your five. Take your minute. 580 00:32:28,614 --> 00:32:32,701 This is all right. We got 20 seconds. A 20-second T. 581 00:32:32,993 --> 00:32:35,371 (KISS ME PLAYING) 582 00:32:54,849 --> 00:32:56,308 (CROWD WHISTLING) 583 00:33:06,026 --> 00:33:07,736 ANNOUNCER: Knicks ball. 584 00:33:08,696 --> 00:33:10,239 (TRUMPET PLAYING FANFARE) 585 00:33:10,322 --> 00:33:11,490 Bring it back! 586 00:33:11,574 --> 00:33:13,534 CROWD: Charge! 587 00:33:14,493 --> 00:33:16,579 BEN: Work your arm, baby. 588 00:33:16,662 --> 00:33:19,748 -CROWD: Charge! -Go, baby. 589 00:33:19,874 --> 00:33:22,334 -Hold 'em up! -CROWD: Charge! 590 00:33:22,418 --> 00:33:23,836 -Benny. -What? What? Yeah? 591 00:33:23,919 --> 00:33:25,921 Benny, I'm thirsty. 592 00:33:26,046 --> 00:33:28,090 -Yeah, yeah! -Benny, can you go get me a soda? 593 00:33:28,174 --> 00:33:30,092 -Yeah, I just wanna tell you, right now... -I'm parched. 594 00:33:30,176 --> 00:33:31,510 ...there's a minute, nine left in the game, 595 00:33:31,594 --> 00:33:33,846 -and then I'll go up and get it. -I'm really thirsty. 596 00:33:33,929 --> 00:33:36,348 -I'II go get it. -Hang on. 597 00:33:36,432 --> 00:33:39,185 -You want it right now? -Yeah. 598 00:33:39,268 --> 00:33:42,104 Okay, no ice, Ben. Thanks, Benny. 599 00:33:43,105 --> 00:33:45,274 ANNOUNCER: Lawrence Funderburke! 600 00:33:45,399 --> 00:33:46,942 (CROWD GROANING) 601 00:33:48,110 --> 00:33:51,530 ANNOUNCER: Here's Sprewell with the fake. Gets the step on Christie. 602 00:33:51,614 --> 00:33:54,200 -What a crossover! -My man, Coke, no ice. 603 00:33:54,283 --> 00:33:56,035 -Next line over, pal. -No ice. 604 00:33:56,118 --> 00:33:59,955 Hey, buddy. Small Coke, no ice. Small Coke, no ice. 605 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,874 Okay, you got it. 606 00:34:01,957 --> 00:34:03,959 ANNOUNCER: Just beyond the three-point line. Fires! 607 00:34:04,084 --> 00:34:07,296 -No! Man, don't let him have that shot! -Does that mean no, you don't want ice, 608 00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:10,382 -or no, you want ice? -No. No, no ice. Coke, no ice. 609 00:34:10,466 --> 00:34:12,968 ANNOUNCER: Don Chaney wants to talk it over. 610 00:34:13,093 --> 00:34:15,804 -Did you want a small? -No, I want that one, right there. 611 00:34:15,888 --> 00:34:18,641 You know, for 25 cents more, you could get a jumbo. 612 00:34:18,724 --> 00:34:21,644 You take that right there. Keep the change. 613 00:34:22,603 --> 00:34:24,396 (ORGAN PLAYING FANFARE) 614 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:26,398 CROWD: Charge! 615 00:34:31,111 --> 00:34:32,154 Excuse me. 616 00:34:32,238 --> 00:34:33,906 (MOANING) 617 00:34:36,325 --> 00:34:39,411 Come on, baby, drive in the net! 618 00:34:39,495 --> 00:34:40,746 Thanks. 619 00:34:40,829 --> 00:34:44,667 Hey, hold him, hold him. Move it. Set your pick! 620 00:34:44,792 --> 00:34:49,004 -Watch the three seconds! Traveling! -Ben, it's not diet. Ben, it's not diet. 621 00:34:49,088 --> 00:34:51,507 Please, I'm so thirsty. 622 00:34:52,341 --> 00:34:55,344 -With a lime. With a lime. -All right, all right. 623 00:34:57,846 --> 00:34:59,682 (CROWD SHOUTING) 624 00:35:03,435 --> 00:35:04,853 Shoot it! 625 00:35:05,521 --> 00:35:08,274 ANNOUNCER: Sprewell for the win. Yes! 626 00:35:08,357 --> 00:35:09,692 (BUZZER SOUNDING) 627 00:35:09,817 --> 00:35:11,944 ANNOUNCER: Latrell Sprewell! 628 00:35:12,027 --> 00:35:13,195 (CROWD CHEERING) 629 00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:16,198 ANNOUNCER: It's all over. The Knicks have defeated the Kings 630 00:35:16,282 --> 00:35:17,700 in the final seconds. 631 00:35:17,783 --> 00:35:21,453 Latrell Sprewell with the game-winning shot. 632 00:35:21,537 --> 00:35:25,874 And the Knicks over Sacramento 97-96. 633 00:35:26,709 --> 00:35:27,793 ANDIE: Oh! 634 00:35:27,876 --> 00:35:29,962 What an incredible game! 635 00:35:30,045 --> 00:35:33,799 I've never seen a more exciting game played before. 636 00:35:33,882 --> 00:35:36,635 Wow. You know, neither have I. 637 00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:40,055 Hey, hey, hey. It's too bad you missed it. 638 00:35:41,056 --> 00:35:44,018 -Yeah, it's too bad. -ANDIE: One second. 639 00:35:46,353 --> 00:35:50,190 So, are you as nice as you seem, Ben? 640 00:35:53,319 --> 00:35:54,486 No. 641 00:35:58,240 --> 00:35:59,742 Good, neither am I. 642 00:35:59,825 --> 00:36:01,160 Oh, here. 643 00:36:02,745 --> 00:36:05,873 Fifth and Twelfth, please. See you later. 644 00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:14,423 Horseshit! 645 00:36:14,506 --> 00:36:16,091 More horseshit. 646 00:36:17,176 --> 00:36:20,179 The horseshit continues. Horseshit. 647 00:36:20,262 --> 00:36:21,847 Come on, people. 648 00:36:21,930 --> 00:36:24,350 We gotta do a lot better than this if we're gonna... 649 00:36:24,433 --> 00:36:27,770 -What? -There's a phone call for Mr. Barry. 650 00:36:27,895 --> 00:36:31,565 -Yeah, can you take a message, Candi? -Mr. Barry, it's Andie. 651 00:36:33,442 --> 00:36:34,693 -Make it quick. -I will. 652 00:36:34,777 --> 00:36:35,861 (CLEARS THROAT) 653 00:36:35,944 --> 00:36:38,280 -It's line two, Mr. Barry. -Thank you. 654 00:36:42,201 --> 00:36:45,287 -Hello. -It's me! 655 00:36:45,412 --> 00:36:48,540 Listen, I'm in the middle of a meeting. Can I call you back in just a minute? 656 00:36:48,624 --> 00:36:52,628 I miss you, Benny Boo-Boo Boo-Boo-Boo. 657 00:36:52,711 --> 00:36:55,464 Well, you know what, I miss you, too. 658 00:36:55,547 --> 00:36:57,132 You busy tonight? 659 00:36:58,092 --> 00:36:59,468 No. No, I'm not. 660 00:36:59,551 --> 00:37:01,053 Why don't we catch a movie or something? 661 00:37:01,136 --> 00:37:03,722 -ANDIE: A movie? My choice? -Your choice. 662 00:37:03,806 --> 00:37:07,976 Oh, I'm so excited! Okay, I'll call you later. 663 00:37:08,102 --> 00:37:09,645 -Bye-bye. -Bye. 664 00:37:14,817 --> 00:37:15,901 (ANDIE SIGHS) 665 00:37:15,984 --> 00:37:17,277 Jonah! 666 00:37:18,404 --> 00:37:21,115 I always wanted a man like Tom Hanks. 667 00:37:24,243 --> 00:37:26,995 -It's my favorite movie of all time. -Yeah, me, too. 668 00:37:27,121 --> 00:37:28,163 (MAN SHUSHING) 669 00:37:28,288 --> 00:37:31,417 TOM HANKS ON SCREEN: What if something had happened to you? 670 00:37:31,500 --> 00:37:33,502 What if I couldn't get to you? 671 00:37:34,628 --> 00:37:37,589 -What are you thinking about? -Nothing. I'm watching the movie. 672 00:37:37,673 --> 00:37:39,007 (CLEARS THROAT) 673 00:37:39,091 --> 00:37:41,135 Yeah, but what's on your mind? 674 00:37:42,845 --> 00:37:44,680 I like this movie. 675 00:37:45,013 --> 00:37:47,349 Oh, so I suppose your mind is a complete blank? 676 00:37:47,433 --> 00:37:50,352 HANKS ON SCREEN: You are my family. You're all I've got. 677 00:37:50,436 --> 00:37:51,854 Who is she? 678 00:37:54,022 --> 00:37:56,275 -Who's who? -The girl you're thinking about. 679 00:37:56,358 --> 00:37:59,361 -Can't hear. -I'm not thinking about a girl. 680 00:37:59,445 --> 00:38:03,115 You can't watch Meg Ryan for two hours and not be thinking about another girl. 681 00:38:03,198 --> 00:38:04,783 WOMAN: Lady, shut up. 682 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,453 Wanna know what I'm thinking about? 683 00:38:07,953 --> 00:38:09,204 Yes. 684 00:38:09,830 --> 00:38:13,959 I'm sitting here thinking about how damn beautiful you are. 685 00:38:14,042 --> 00:38:15,210 That's what I'm thinking about. 686 00:38:15,335 --> 00:38:17,963 Come here. Let's watch this movie. It's good. 687 00:38:18,630 --> 00:38:20,215 (SIGHS) 688 00:38:22,384 --> 00:38:23,677 Benji. 689 00:38:27,473 --> 00:38:29,475 Oh, sweetie. 690 00:38:29,892 --> 00:38:32,644 -I love sharing this with you. -Yeah. 691 00:38:32,728 --> 00:38:33,979 Can't hear and can't see. 692 00:38:34,062 --> 00:38:37,065 If you don't shut up, my boyfriend over here 693 00:38:37,191 --> 00:38:39,651 is gonna come back there and pummel your ass. 694 00:38:39,735 --> 00:38:42,488 Put a muzzle on your old lady the next time you bring her out in public! 695 00:38:42,571 --> 00:38:45,991 -What? What is that? Do something... -You, outside! 696 00:38:46,408 --> 00:38:48,410 (AUDIENCE MURMURING) 697 00:38:48,911 --> 00:38:50,245 WOMAN: Keep it down. 698 00:38:50,996 --> 00:38:52,164 Have a little class, all right? 699 00:38:52,247 --> 00:38:54,166 You wanna talk like that to me, we can work it out, 700 00:38:54,249 --> 00:38:57,169 -but not to a lady, all right? -Ben, Ben, he's huge. 701 00:38:57,252 --> 00:38:59,755 I got it. I'm not looking to get into a fight with the guy, okay? 702 00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:02,007 He owes you an apology. 703 00:39:02,090 --> 00:39:04,176 (GASPING) 704 00:39:04,426 --> 00:39:09,264 Now I'm gonna go back inside and finish watching Sleepless in Seattle. 705 00:39:09,389 --> 00:39:12,518 -Nobody screw with me. -Son of a bitch. 706 00:39:12,601 --> 00:39:15,437 Oh, Ben, are you okay? 707 00:39:15,562 --> 00:39:16,605 (GROANING) 708 00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:18,440 Ben, Ben, maybe we should get you to a hospital. 709 00:39:18,565 --> 00:39:20,442 -No, no, no. -No, you could have a... 710 00:39:20,526 --> 00:39:21,944 Excuse me? 711 00:39:22,069 --> 00:39:23,862 Hey, can you hold still? Right there. Hold still. 712 00:39:23,946 --> 00:39:25,364 Okay, I'm sorry. 713 00:39:25,447 --> 00:39:27,115 (MOANING) 714 00:39:27,241 --> 00:39:30,452 Oh, yeah. That's feeling real nice. It's starting to feel a little better. 715 00:39:30,536 --> 00:39:33,080 Ben. Ben. 716 00:39:34,164 --> 00:39:38,168 Ben! Oh, my God! You're fine. 717 00:39:38,752 --> 00:39:41,296 You are totally fine. 718 00:39:42,422 --> 00:39:45,676 Okay, come on, Rocky. Get up. 719 00:39:47,177 --> 00:39:48,720 Ouch. 720 00:39:48,804 --> 00:39:50,556 -Huh? -Yeah. 721 00:39:50,639 --> 00:39:52,099 Hey, don't feel bad. 722 00:39:52,182 --> 00:39:55,811 If I had a nickel for every time I got in a fistfight during a chick flick... 723 00:39:55,936 --> 00:39:58,105 -Right. It really wasn't that bad. -Really? 724 00:39:58,188 --> 00:40:00,732 No, I mean, the getting punched in the face part sucked, right? 725 00:40:00,816 --> 00:40:03,902 The getting taken care of after the punch, it was nice. 726 00:40:03,986 --> 00:40:06,321 Florence Nightingale syndrome. 727 00:40:07,489 --> 00:40:09,992 You want me to tape the game for you, tonight? 728 00:40:10,117 --> 00:40:13,078 No need, my friend. I'll be watching the Knicks 729 00:40:13,161 --> 00:40:15,622 in the comfort of my own home, this evening. 730 00:40:15,706 --> 00:40:17,541 How'd you swing that? 731 00:40:17,666 --> 00:40:20,127 What's the coup de grâce? Heavyweight. 732 00:40:20,210 --> 00:40:22,421 -You're making the lamb. -Voilà. 733 00:40:22,504 --> 00:40:24,381 A woman loves a man who can cook. Yeah? 734 00:40:24,506 --> 00:40:25,632 Bringing out the big guns. 735 00:40:25,716 --> 00:40:27,134 -Let's go deep. -I like it. 736 00:40:28,218 --> 00:40:29,720 Why do they always forget my bacon? 737 00:40:29,845 --> 00:40:32,347 I can't believe you got that guy knocked out. 738 00:40:32,472 --> 00:40:34,600 Only for a few seconds. 739 00:40:34,683 --> 00:40:39,062 He was the most adorable unconscious man, ever. 740 00:40:39,187 --> 00:40:40,272 Mmm-hmm. 741 00:40:40,355 --> 00:40:44,151 Are you dating him, or are you contemplating adoption? 742 00:40:45,193 --> 00:40:48,530 Andie, I am loving your notes on this piece. 743 00:40:51,366 --> 00:40:52,451 Thank you, Lana. 744 00:40:52,534 --> 00:40:55,162 -When are you seeing him again? -Tonight. 745 00:40:56,038 --> 00:40:58,206 He's invited me over for dinner. 746 00:40:58,332 --> 00:41:01,960 Marvelous. I've got a feeling about this one. 747 00:41:02,044 --> 00:41:03,962 Thanks, Lana. 748 00:41:04,046 --> 00:41:05,964 I hate it when she pops her head in like that. 749 00:41:06,048 --> 00:41:08,717 -I never... -(CLEARS THROAT) I heard that. 750 00:41:08,842 --> 00:41:12,054 And, Andie, tonight, take smaller bites. 751 00:41:15,098 --> 00:41:20,187 -Oh, my God. Disgusting. I can barely eat over here. 752 00:41:23,565 --> 00:41:24,733 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 753 00:41:24,858 --> 00:41:26,902 Come on in. Door's open. 754 00:41:29,571 --> 00:41:31,490 -Hi! -Hey there. 755 00:41:31,907 --> 00:41:36,370 I hope you brought your appetite, girl. We've got a feast tonight. 756 00:41:39,915 --> 00:41:41,833 Oh! 757 00:41:41,917 --> 00:41:44,920 Benny, isn't that sweet. 758 00:41:45,837 --> 00:41:47,756 Go ahead and pour yourself a glass of wine. 759 00:41:47,839 --> 00:41:51,760 We got dinner in about five and tipoff in about eight. 760 00:41:51,843 --> 00:41:54,054 Great. I'm starving. 761 00:41:57,432 --> 00:41:59,059 Mmm. 762 00:41:59,351 --> 00:42:00,560 (SIGHS) 763 00:42:06,108 --> 00:42:10,946 Oh, so perfectly pink! 764 00:42:21,373 --> 00:42:22,749 (SNIFFING) 765 00:42:23,041 --> 00:42:26,128 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 766 00:42:31,633 --> 00:42:36,304 Sheryl, Tori, Sinead, Jewel, Fiona, Carly. 767 00:42:36,430 --> 00:42:40,142 -(CHUCKLES) The gang's all here! -Great! 768 00:42:41,601 --> 00:42:43,478 We got two minutes to game time. 769 00:42:43,603 --> 00:42:47,065 (SINGING) You walked into the party 770 00:42:47,149 --> 00:42:51,236 Like you were walking onto a yacht 771 00:42:51,319 --> 00:42:56,783 Your hat strategically dipped below one eye 772 00:42:56,867 --> 00:42:59,911 Your scarf it was apricot 773 00:42:59,995 --> 00:43:02,873 Wow! Look at all this stuff. 774 00:43:03,874 --> 00:43:09,171 Those are cute, and I saw the new comforter. 775 00:43:09,546 --> 00:43:13,884 And all the girls dreamed that they'd be Ben's partner 776 00:43:13,967 --> 00:43:17,220 They'd be Ben's partner 777 00:43:17,304 --> 00:43:20,557 -What you got in the box? -Oh. 778 00:43:22,934 --> 00:43:25,145 -It's a baby fern. -Really? 779 00:43:25,228 --> 00:43:27,898 -Oh, yeah? -Just like our relationship, 780 00:43:27,981 --> 00:43:31,943 a helpless little baby in need of tender, loving care. 781 00:43:34,863 --> 00:43:36,239 Thank you. 782 00:43:36,490 --> 00:43:37,657 (SINGING) 783 00:43:37,741 --> 00:43:39,159 Sit down. 784 00:43:39,242 --> 00:43:40,368 (BASKETBALL GAME PLAYING ON TV) 785 00:43:40,452 --> 00:43:43,747 Have a seat. Get ready. 786 00:43:45,165 --> 00:43:48,794 Game two. Welcome to the front row, madame. 787 00:43:49,169 --> 00:43:51,171 Oh, oh. Up here. 788 00:43:51,338 --> 00:43:54,174 Mmm, mmm, mmm. Mmm-hmm. 789 00:43:54,257 --> 00:43:56,176 Dinner is served. 790 00:43:56,259 --> 00:44:00,180 Chef's special tonight, lamb with a cherry glaze. 791 00:44:00,263 --> 00:44:04,434 Let's start you off with the main dish. 792 00:44:04,518 --> 00:44:06,186 Right about there. And a few carrots. 793 00:44:06,269 --> 00:44:08,230 (SIGHS) 794 00:44:09,940 --> 00:44:12,859 Wait, wait. Hey. Hey. You okay? 795 00:44:13,902 --> 00:44:15,487 It's beautiful. 796 00:44:18,156 --> 00:44:20,200 -Thanks. -You're beautiful, 797 00:44:20,283 --> 00:44:22,410 the game, the whole thing. 798 00:44:24,746 --> 00:44:26,581 I wish I ate meat. 799 00:44:30,043 --> 00:44:34,673 (SINGING) Mary had a little lamb, little lamb 800 00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:36,883 (CRYING) 801 00:44:36,967 --> 00:44:39,803 You have to take it away before I gag. 802 00:44:39,886 --> 00:44:40,929 (GAGGING) 803 00:44:42,222 --> 00:44:44,182 BEN: This stuff's for cows. 804 00:44:50,188 --> 00:44:51,356 -Hi. -Hi. 805 00:44:51,439 --> 00:44:55,402 -How you doing? -Just a little indigestion. 806 00:44:55,485 --> 00:44:57,070 -Are you okay? -Mmm-hmm. 807 00:44:57,153 --> 00:44:59,656 All right. Excuse me, ma'am. 808 00:44:59,739 --> 00:45:02,367 You happen to know the score of the Knicks game? 809 00:45:02,450 --> 00:45:06,288 Do I look like the kind of person who knows the score of a Knicks game? 810 00:45:06,371 --> 00:45:07,914 No, you don't. 811 00:45:08,582 --> 00:45:09,708 (CHUCKLES) 812 00:45:10,834 --> 00:45:13,211 Is something wrong with the barley? 813 00:45:13,879 --> 00:45:15,422 No, no. 814 00:45:20,969 --> 00:45:23,388 My boyfriend thinks I'm fat! 815 00:45:23,471 --> 00:45:25,181 (CRYING) 816 00:45:26,766 --> 00:45:28,768 And I can't eat in front of him. 817 00:45:28,852 --> 00:45:31,062 I can't eat in front of you! 818 00:45:31,146 --> 00:45:34,733 -I have to go to the bathroom. -I don't think you're fat. 819 00:45:38,153 --> 00:45:40,196 I don't think she's fat. 820 00:45:49,623 --> 00:45:52,334 -What's happening? -Sprewell just tied it up. 821 00:45:52,417 --> 00:45:54,085 Twenty-three seconds left, Knicks ball. 822 00:45:54,169 --> 00:45:55,295 ANNOUNCER: …Allan Houston with the ball. 823 00:45:55,378 --> 00:45:57,130 Oh, come on! 824 00:45:57,213 --> 00:45:59,049 There it is. There it is. 825 00:45:59,758 --> 00:46:02,510 That was in! Come on. Get it back. 826 00:46:05,889 --> 00:46:08,350 Get the ball back! Get the ball back! 827 00:46:09,309 --> 00:46:10,477 ANNOUNCER: A spin by Jackson. 828 00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:12,604 MAN: No! ANNOUNCER: Jackson able to hit, 829 00:46:12,687 --> 00:46:14,272 and the game has run out. 830 00:46:14,356 --> 00:46:15,649 (SHOUTS IN ANGER) 831 00:46:15,732 --> 00:46:17,692 The Kings have beat the Knicks. Their first win of the series. 832 00:46:17,776 --> 00:46:19,277 It's 97-95, Sacramento. 833 00:46:19,361 --> 00:46:20,487 Next game. 834 00:46:27,494 --> 00:46:29,621 Well, that was fun. 835 00:46:30,622 --> 00:46:35,335 Okay, 11:25 sports. There we are. 836 00:46:35,418 --> 00:46:36,753 ANNOUNCER: …cut it to ten. 837 00:46:36,836 --> 00:46:37,879 Uh-huh. 838 00:46:38,088 --> 00:46:40,507 ANNOUNCER: It's Mark Jackson with a no-look pass to Kurt Thomas. 839 00:46:40,590 --> 00:46:43,051 -Sorry we missed the game. -Post. Post. 840 00:46:43,134 --> 00:46:45,011 Reverse! 841 00:46:46,096 --> 00:46:49,307 -There we go, baby. -I can't believe he missed that shot. 842 00:46:49,391 --> 00:46:52,477 Take it! Take it! Hit it! 843 00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:54,062 No! 844 00:46:54,145 --> 00:46:57,440 How the hell did you know he was gonna miss that shot? 845 00:46:58,024 --> 00:47:01,653 He always misses the shot from the top of the key. 846 00:47:01,736 --> 00:47:03,863 That's the way it ended as the Knicks could not get off another shot. 847 00:47:03,947 --> 00:47:04,990 (GROANS) 848 00:47:06,324 --> 00:47:08,201 Oh, man. 849 00:47:10,495 --> 00:47:13,581 Houston never misses from the top of the key. 850 00:47:19,963 --> 00:47:21,006 Oh! 851 00:47:21,089 --> 00:47:22,132 Mmm. 852 00:47:23,133 --> 00:47:24,592 (GROWLS) 853 00:47:24,676 --> 00:47:27,804 Does Princess Sophia wanna come out and play? 854 00:47:28,513 --> 00:47:30,974 Who's Princess Sophia? 855 00:47:31,224 --> 00:47:32,934 (SQUEALING) 856 00:47:33,852 --> 00:47:39,107 No, no, no, no, no, no! Wait, wait. You're kidding me, right? 857 00:47:39,190 --> 00:47:41,443 -Princess Sophia? -Little, big. Little, big. 858 00:47:41,526 --> 00:47:43,903 I don't know. We will find out. 859 00:47:44,654 --> 00:47:46,489 You know, hang on a second. 860 00:47:46,573 --> 00:47:48,241 (GRUNTING) 861 00:47:48,658 --> 00:47:52,412 All right, listen, you can't name my member Princess Sophia. 862 00:47:52,495 --> 00:47:54,330 -It doesn't... -Yes, I can. 863 00:47:54,414 --> 00:47:58,209 Listen to me. If you're gonna name my member, all right, 864 00:47:58,293 --> 00:48:00,795 you gotta name it something hyper-masculine, okay? 865 00:48:00,879 --> 00:48:02,464 Something like Spike or Butch 866 00:48:02,547 --> 00:48:05,050 or Krull, the Warrior King, but not Princess Sophia. 867 00:48:05,133 --> 00:48:06,760 What did you just say? 868 00:48:08,011 --> 00:48:10,263 Spike. You know what I mean? 869 00:48:10,346 --> 00:48:13,141 -No, no, after Spike. -Butch. 870 00:48:13,224 --> 00:48:14,851 After Butch. 871 00:48:18,063 --> 00:48:20,440 Krull, the Warrior King. 872 00:48:20,523 --> 00:48:25,487 Does Krull, the Warrior King want to come out and play? 873 00:48:27,906 --> 00:48:30,742 -No. -Come on out of there. 874 00:48:31,367 --> 00:48:33,870 -Krull! -You know what? 875 00:48:35,246 --> 00:48:37,665 Due to intense humiliation, 876 00:48:37,749 --> 00:48:42,545 the king has momentarily abdicated his throne, okay? 877 00:48:42,629 --> 00:48:44,339 Oh, uh-oh. 878 00:48:44,422 --> 00:48:46,925 -Yeah. -Well, in that case, 879 00:48:48,343 --> 00:48:50,136 I better get going. 880 00:48:54,182 --> 00:48:56,309 Take care of our love fern, honey. 881 00:49:00,980 --> 00:49:02,023 (GRUNTS) 882 00:49:14,202 --> 00:49:15,453 Hi. 883 00:49:16,955 --> 00:49:18,873 Can I see you tomorrow? 884 00:49:18,957 --> 00:49:21,251 -Really? -I hope so. 885 00:49:21,334 --> 00:49:22,460 (GIGGLING) 886 00:49:23,670 --> 00:49:24,838 -Call me. -I will. 887 00:49:24,921 --> 00:49:26,965 -And I'll call you. -Sweet dreams. 888 00:49:27,048 --> 00:49:28,716 Answer your phone! 889 00:49:29,384 --> 00:49:30,718 What? 890 00:49:32,387 --> 00:49:33,805 BEN: What was "icy" again? 891 00:49:33,888 --> 00:49:35,723 "Arctic, freezing, frigid." 892 00:49:37,475 --> 00:49:40,228 -How about "glitter"? -Thayer's favorite movie. 893 00:49:40,311 --> 00:49:41,980 It was underrated. 894 00:49:42,647 --> 00:49:45,066 "Glint, glisten, scintillation." 895 00:49:45,692 --> 00:49:48,528 -Scintillation, that's not bad. -That sucks. 896 00:49:48,611 --> 00:49:52,782 Guys, let's take a break. A little coffee and nine ball. Shake it up. 897 00:49:52,866 --> 00:49:57,495 Maybe I'll be able to concentrate since the woman is driving me crazy. 898 00:49:57,579 --> 00:49:59,831 Which woman, Andie or Princess Sophia? 899 00:49:59,914 --> 00:50:01,374 (SCREAMS) 900 00:50:01,791 --> 00:50:04,002 -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Wait a second. I thought you said, 901 00:50:04,085 --> 00:50:06,004 after the Knicks game, that she was a goddess. 902 00:50:06,087 --> 00:50:08,464 Oh, she was. That was the good Andie, guys. 903 00:50:08,548 --> 00:50:11,843 This amazing, fun, cool, sexy woman. 904 00:50:11,926 --> 00:50:13,678 I'm talking about the evil Andie now. 905 00:50:13,761 --> 00:50:17,223 It's like a crack-enhanced Kathie Lee Gifford. 906 00:50:17,307 --> 00:50:19,142 She's probably bipolar. 907 00:50:19,225 --> 00:50:21,686 Well, her south pole's definitely prevailing. 908 00:50:21,769 --> 00:50:25,106 Well, all you gotta do is rock it for five more days. 909 00:50:25,190 --> 00:50:28,109 -Muffin! -Which shouldn't be too difficult. 910 00:50:28,193 --> 00:50:29,944 -Hi. -Andie, my sweetie. 911 00:50:30,028 --> 00:50:31,696 We were just talking about you. 912 00:50:31,779 --> 00:50:33,531 -Hi. -Hello, there. 913 00:50:33,615 --> 00:50:35,700 -How are you? You look gorgeous. -Thank you. 914 00:50:35,783 --> 00:50:38,286 -This is Tony and this is Thayer. -Oh, yes. 915 00:50:38,411 --> 00:50:40,622 Benny-Wenny's told me so much about you two. 916 00:50:40,747 --> 00:50:44,292 Oh, well, Benny-Wenny said wonderful things about you, too. 917 00:50:44,417 --> 00:50:47,128 Oh, they don't look so simpleminded. 918 00:50:47,212 --> 00:50:49,631 Honey, look what I got for us. 919 00:50:50,048 --> 00:50:51,549 (WHIMPERING) 920 00:50:51,633 --> 00:50:54,552 Look at that. Come on. Come on. 921 00:50:54,636 --> 00:50:57,722 -Wow! -Look at him go. What is it? 922 00:50:57,805 --> 00:50:58,890 (SIGHS) 923 00:50:58,973 --> 00:51:01,476 It's a Chinese Crested, of course. 924 00:51:01,601 --> 00:51:04,229 No kidding. A Chinese Crested. 925 00:51:04,312 --> 00:51:05,396 So, it's like a dog, right? 926 00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:06,564 (BARKS) 927 00:51:06,648 --> 00:51:09,734 -Whoa! There he is. -Ben. Ben. 928 00:51:09,817 --> 00:51:11,402 You're hurting Krull's feelings. 929 00:51:11,486 --> 00:51:14,739 -Krull, is it? -Krull. Krull, the Warrior king. 930 00:51:14,822 --> 00:51:16,908 Well, sure, 'cause that's clearly what... 931 00:51:16,991 --> 00:51:19,160 Oh, wait. There's more. 932 00:51:19,285 --> 00:51:20,995 -What do you got there? -THAYER: Oh, nice. 933 00:51:21,079 --> 00:51:23,665 -For me? Get out of town. -Try it on. 934 00:51:23,748 --> 00:51:26,167 -Looks like the inside of a raincoat. -Matches! 935 00:51:26,251 --> 00:51:27,669 Oh, yeah, that's gonna fit nicely, sweetie. 936 00:51:27,794 --> 00:51:29,170 -Try it on. -Thank you. 937 00:51:29,295 --> 00:51:30,505 No, Ben, put it on. 938 00:51:30,630 --> 00:51:33,508 No, you should try it on, otherwise you don't know if it's gonna fit. 939 00:51:33,633 --> 00:51:35,677 -Go for it. -Manners never hurt anybody. 940 00:51:35,802 --> 00:51:37,762 I was just gonna save it for a special occasion. 941 00:51:37,845 --> 00:51:39,806 All right. Check that out. 942 00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:42,267 Oh, yeah, that's nice. 943 00:51:42,350 --> 00:51:43,768 Hey. 944 00:51:43,851 --> 00:51:45,103 You're a vision in khaki. 945 00:51:45,186 --> 00:51:46,354 (CHUCKLING) 946 00:51:47,689 --> 00:51:52,443 It's gonna be a happy little family, just the three of us. 947 00:51:52,527 --> 00:51:54,612 We are, aren't we? 948 00:51:54,696 --> 00:51:57,198 -Wow. -He's our boy, Ben. 949 00:51:57,282 --> 00:51:59,200 Oh, see, that's sweet. 950 00:52:01,369 --> 00:52:02,787 (EXCLAIMING) 951 00:52:02,870 --> 00:52:06,958 Hey, hey, hey, Andie. It is good to see you, too, sweetie. 952 00:52:07,041 --> 00:52:09,460 Got you. Got you, got you, got you. 953 00:52:11,129 --> 00:52:13,381 He's just not potty-trained yet. 954 00:52:13,506 --> 00:52:16,217 Whoa! Okay, well, he's a pisser. 955 00:52:16,551 --> 00:52:19,220 -Come here, little tinkle king. -BEN: No, no, no. 956 00:52:19,345 --> 00:52:22,390 -Come here, tinkle king. -He is a tinkle king. 957 00:52:22,515 --> 00:52:24,392 My little tinkler. You tinkle, tinkle. 958 00:52:24,517 --> 00:52:27,645 Well, congratulations, little plaid family. 959 00:52:27,729 --> 00:52:29,314 You know, we got a whole bunch of work we gotta do, 960 00:52:29,397 --> 00:52:31,399 but we're still on for poker at your house, this week, yeah? 961 00:52:31,524 --> 00:52:33,401 -Oh, you can count on it. -(WHOOPING) Boys night. 962 00:52:33,484 --> 00:52:37,488 (WHOOPING) Well, it was nice meeting you and, of course, Krull. 963 00:52:37,572 --> 00:52:38,906 Bye. Say bye, Krully. 964 00:52:38,990 --> 00:52:40,158 Little soap and water will take that off. 965 00:52:40,241 --> 00:52:42,327 -He goes, "Woof, woof." -Yeah, thank you, buds. 966 00:52:42,410 --> 00:52:43,494 Oh, come here. 967 00:52:43,578 --> 00:52:44,662 (SIGHS) 968 00:52:45,246 --> 00:52:48,082 -Do you love him? -Oh, I do. 969 00:52:48,750 --> 00:52:50,668 Oh, look at Krull's necklace. 970 00:52:50,752 --> 00:52:53,004 He's got more ice than Liberace, don't you? 971 00:52:53,087 --> 00:52:55,214 Oh, it's just a little frosting. 972 00:52:58,593 --> 00:53:00,553 -Frosting? -Frosting. 973 00:53:01,929 --> 00:53:04,891 We were thinking bold, new, fresh. 974 00:53:05,266 --> 00:53:06,934 Frost yourself. 975 00:53:07,685 --> 00:53:09,854 -Excuse me? -Frost yourself. 976 00:53:09,937 --> 00:53:11,939 -The slogan for the campaign. -You frost a cake. 977 00:53:12,023 --> 00:53:13,358 We're in the middle of a meeting, Benjamin. 978 00:53:13,441 --> 00:53:15,777 I'm talking about diamonds. They're frosting. 979 00:53:15,902 --> 00:53:19,197 As in, "Whoa, would you check out her frosting." 980 00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:20,448 Frost yourself. 981 00:53:20,573 --> 00:53:22,033 -Frost yourself. -How did you come up with it? 982 00:53:22,116 --> 00:53:25,286 I got it off the woman who's falling madly in love with me. 983 00:53:25,411 --> 00:53:27,705 It may have possibilities, but as far as the woman 984 00:53:27,789 --> 00:53:31,209 who's falling madly in love with you, I will decide that at the party. 985 00:53:31,292 --> 00:53:33,044 -If he can get her there. -Now just think about it. 986 00:53:33,127 --> 00:53:37,256 -Ladies, frost yourself. -Frost yourself. 987 00:53:37,715 --> 00:53:39,133 We can introduce it at the party. 988 00:53:39,217 --> 00:53:40,551 -It should be the theme. -Yes. 989 00:53:40,635 --> 00:53:42,136 -Everything frosted. -All of it. 990 00:53:42,220 --> 00:53:44,555 -Martini glasses. -Chandeliers. 991 00:53:44,639 --> 00:53:46,474 -Jewels everywhere. -The women. 992 00:53:46,557 --> 00:53:50,603 -The whole party, a sparkling diamond. -All of it frosted. 993 00:53:53,147 --> 00:53:56,234 Women of New York, frost yourselves! 994 00:53:56,317 --> 00:53:59,987 -WOMAN: Hey, frost this! -Well, I like it. 995 00:54:03,658 --> 00:54:04,826 (BARKING) 996 00:54:04,909 --> 00:54:07,745 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you. 997 00:54:07,829 --> 00:54:10,748 AUTOMATED VOICE: You have 17 new messages. 998 00:54:10,832 --> 00:54:14,335 -Message one, received at 5:44. -Sit down. Sit. 999 00:54:14,419 --> 00:54:17,004 ANDIE: Hi, sweetie pea. It's me. Where are you? 1000 00:54:17,130 --> 00:54:18,589 I'm not home. 1001 00:54:18,673 --> 00:54:20,508 AUTOMATED VOICE: Two, received at 5:47. 1002 00:54:20,633 --> 00:54:23,594 Benny, it's Andie. Guess you're not home. 1003 00:54:23,678 --> 00:54:26,097 AUTOMATED VOICE: Three, received at 5:48. 1004 00:54:26,180 --> 00:54:28,433 ANDIE: Benny bear, are you not answering your phone? 1005 00:54:28,516 --> 00:54:29,934 Yes, I am. 1006 00:54:30,017 --> 00:54:31,352 AUTOMATED VOICE: Four, received at 5:49. 1007 00:54:31,436 --> 00:54:34,355 TONY: Hey, buddy. Game three tonight. Blondie's. Don't be late. I will kill you. 1008 00:54:34,439 --> 00:54:35,690 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 1009 00:54:35,815 --> 00:54:37,316 -Who is it? -ANDIE: It's me. 1010 00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:39,485 AUTOMATED VOICE: Five, received at 5:52. 1011 00:54:39,569 --> 00:54:40,611 ANDIE ON MACHINE: It's me. 1012 00:54:40,695 --> 00:54:41,737 (GIGGLES) 1013 00:54:44,407 --> 00:54:45,491 (ANDIE EXCLAIMS) 1014 00:54:45,575 --> 00:54:47,827 -What a surprise. -I've been trying to get a hold of you. 1015 00:54:47,910 --> 00:54:51,038 -Yeah? -I did something kind of wacky. 1016 00:54:52,248 --> 00:54:53,666 -Yeah? -Yes. 1017 00:54:53,749 --> 00:54:57,295 I used Photoshop at work today to composite our faces together 1018 00:54:57,378 --> 00:54:59,464 to see what our kids would look like. 1019 00:54:59,547 --> 00:55:01,382 "Our family album." 1020 00:55:01,924 --> 00:55:03,050 (GIGGLES) 1021 00:55:14,854 --> 00:55:17,273 You don't wanna see our children? 1022 00:55:17,732 --> 00:55:21,068 We don't have children. 1023 00:55:30,536 --> 00:55:32,705 (CRYING) 1024 00:55:33,414 --> 00:55:34,957 I hate you. 1025 00:55:37,084 --> 00:55:40,880 You know what? I'm sorry. No, no, no. I didn't mean it like that. 1026 00:55:40,963 --> 00:55:43,508 All right? Show me, show me, show me, show me. 1027 00:55:43,591 --> 00:55:46,260 -Please show me. -"We don't have children!" 1028 00:55:46,385 --> 00:55:50,056 No, I thought you meant Krull. I just wanted... 1029 00:55:50,139 --> 00:55:52,642 -Will you show them to me? -You don't wanna see them. 1030 00:55:52,767 --> 00:55:54,352 I do. Please. 1031 00:55:54,435 --> 00:55:58,105 Please show them to me. I really do wanna see them. 1032 00:55:58,231 --> 00:55:59,565 Really? 1033 00:56:00,650 --> 00:56:02,235 -Yeah. -Okay. 1034 00:56:03,444 --> 00:56:05,446 Oh, that's our wedding. 1035 00:56:08,324 --> 00:56:11,911 And this is our first child, Benny Jr. 1036 00:56:13,079 --> 00:56:14,914 -Yeah. -Yeah. 1037 00:56:16,290 --> 00:56:18,668 Oh, there's us vacationing in Hawaii. 1038 00:56:19,460 --> 00:56:23,965 Little Andie's on my shoulders and Benjamin Jr. on yours. 1039 00:56:24,090 --> 00:56:25,841 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1040 00:56:25,967 --> 00:56:28,970 There's little Andie. Oh, there are the kids in Switzerland. 1041 00:56:29,095 --> 00:56:30,805 Yode-Iodeling. 1042 00:56:30,930 --> 00:56:32,682 Our kids are really 1043 00:56:34,267 --> 00:56:35,601 attractive. 1044 00:56:37,853 --> 00:56:39,480 (PHONE RINGING) 1045 00:56:41,607 --> 00:56:42,858 Yeah? 1046 00:56:42,984 --> 00:56:44,277 Oh! 1047 00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:45,820 Hey, Mom. 1048 00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:49,073 Yeah, I'm doing fine. Yeah. 1049 00:56:49,156 --> 00:56:51,200 Yeah, yeah, she is. Just a second. It's for you. 1050 00:56:51,325 --> 00:56:52,702 Oh, great. 1051 00:56:53,619 --> 00:56:55,037 Hi, Glenda. 1052 00:56:56,330 --> 00:57:00,001 -Why is my mom calling you? -Shh. I just showed him. 1053 00:57:01,627 --> 00:57:05,506 Yeah. Well, he thinks our children will be very attractive. 1054 00:57:06,674 --> 00:57:08,926 (LAUGHING) 1055 00:57:09,010 --> 00:57:10,344 Oh, no. 1056 00:57:11,554 --> 00:57:14,682 All right, you go back to cooking. Call me later. 1057 00:57:14,807 --> 00:57:18,519 Tomorrow. Yeah, great. Okay, Glenda. Love you, too. Bye. 1058 00:57:20,021 --> 00:57:21,897 -Thanks, honey. -Yeah. 1059 00:57:23,524 --> 00:57:26,068 So, you and my mom, you talk, huh? 1060 00:57:27,403 --> 00:57:31,324 Yeah, I called her to get some baby pictures of you for our book. 1061 00:57:31,991 --> 00:57:35,369 Hey, you never told me that you wore diapers till you were five. 1062 00:57:35,494 --> 00:57:36,746 (CHOKING) 1063 00:57:38,331 --> 00:57:39,749 You know what, honey, I gotta go to the... 1064 00:57:39,874 --> 00:57:41,042 Uh-oh. 1065 00:57:42,043 --> 00:57:44,295 Oh, no. Come on! 1066 00:57:44,378 --> 00:57:47,548 You think maybe he thinks the felt is grass? 1067 00:58:15,868 --> 00:58:17,370 Oh, man! 1068 00:58:26,087 --> 00:58:27,880 (GROANS) 1069 00:58:28,756 --> 00:58:32,301 Oh, no, no, no! Man, come on! 1070 00:58:39,392 --> 00:58:41,268 -Hey, Benny bear? -Hey. 1071 00:58:41,394 --> 00:58:43,562 -Do you have plans tonight? -Tonight? 1072 00:58:43,646 --> 00:58:45,356 I have another surprise for you. 1073 00:58:45,439 --> 00:58:47,483 Uh... 1074 00:58:47,608 --> 00:58:50,486 You know what? Not a good night for me. 1075 00:58:50,611 --> 00:58:53,406 -I gotta work, of all things. -Oh, no. 1076 00:58:53,489 --> 00:58:55,700 Yeah, yeah, I know. I got a Knicks game on. 1077 00:58:55,783 --> 00:58:57,451 I had a broccoli and asparagus casserole 1078 00:58:57,535 --> 00:58:59,954 planned for you and me, right there, in front of the TV, 1079 00:59:00,037 --> 00:59:02,707 and we're not gonna be able to do that either 'cause I gotta go into work. 1080 00:59:02,790 --> 00:59:06,043 That's too bad 'cause I had tickets for tonight. 1081 00:59:06,669 --> 00:59:09,130 -Tickets? -Tickets, great tickets. 1082 00:59:09,213 --> 00:59:14,468 Front-row seats, right in the action. I mean, you can smell sweat. 1083 00:59:16,679 --> 00:59:18,222 I guess I... 1084 00:59:20,474 --> 00:59:22,560 I don't really have to. 1085 00:59:22,643 --> 00:59:25,813 Why don't I call Tony, and he can come fill in for me, right? 1086 00:59:25,896 --> 00:59:28,816 -Great. -Oh, yeah! Thank you. 1087 00:59:29,650 --> 00:59:32,820 -Honey, you're more than welcome. -Yes! 1088 00:59:34,697 --> 00:59:37,074 Oh, look what time it is, huh? 1089 00:59:38,701 --> 00:59:43,164 This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and I'm gonna share it with you. 1090 00:59:43,831 --> 00:59:46,584 (MY HEART WILL GO ON PLAYING) 1091 00:59:48,586 --> 00:59:51,881 Reaches up, she brings it down. 1092 00:59:52,006 --> 00:59:55,718 It's the most powerful thing I've ever seen. 1093 00:59:58,053 --> 01:00:00,973 And after all this, he still didn't leave you? 1094 01:00:01,056 --> 01:00:03,434 I'm telling you, this calls for drastic measures. 1095 01:00:03,517 --> 01:00:05,603 Come on, guys. Concentrate. 1096 01:00:06,437 --> 01:00:11,275 -Are you being clingy? -Clingy, needy, whiny. 1097 01:00:11,358 --> 01:00:12,651 Baby talk? 1098 01:00:12,735 --> 01:00:15,738 Occasionally. I mean, I could kick that up a notch. 1099 01:00:15,821 --> 01:00:18,032 I used to obsess over Mike's old girlfriends. 1100 01:00:18,115 --> 01:00:20,951 Or better yet, talk about all your old boyfriends. 1101 01:00:21,035 --> 01:00:23,913 Good. It's good, it's good, but it's not gonna crack this guy. 1102 01:00:23,996 --> 01:00:25,664 I mean, this is DEFCON 5, 1103 01:00:25,748 --> 01:00:28,751 and I have to do something truly appalling. 1104 01:00:28,834 --> 01:00:30,503 It's not funny! 1105 01:00:30,586 --> 01:00:31,921 (LAUGHING) 1106 01:00:32,004 --> 01:00:35,132 Look, I have to think of something before tomorrow. 1107 01:00:35,216 --> 01:00:37,134 Wait, why not tonight? 1108 01:00:37,218 --> 01:00:40,846 -Poker night. Boys' night out. -Mike used to have a boys' night. 1109 01:00:40,930 --> 01:00:42,890 Boys' night? You're giving him a boys' night? 1110 01:00:42,973 --> 01:00:47,436 -They do it every week. -Before he met you. 1111 01:00:48,896 --> 01:00:53,025 -What are you suggesting? -I think you know what I'm suggesting. 1112 01:00:54,735 --> 01:00:56,862 -Feel lucky, boys? -Yeah. 1113 01:00:56,946 --> 01:00:59,782 -You know, Ben. -That's 2 bucks. 1114 01:00:59,865 --> 01:01:01,575 I'm feeling luckier than you 1115 01:01:01,659 --> 01:01:03,619 'cause I do not have to sit through a Celine Dion concert. 1116 01:01:03,702 --> 01:01:05,037 (ALL LAUGHING) 1117 01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:07,456 That is what true love is all about, my friend. 1118 01:01:07,540 --> 01:01:08,833 l fold. 1119 01:01:08,916 --> 01:01:11,335 I see your 2, raise you 50. She's in love with you? 1120 01:01:11,418 --> 01:01:13,379 Are you kidding me? She's planning the wedding. 1121 01:01:13,462 --> 01:01:16,549 -Call. -All right, guys, read them and weep. 1122 01:01:16,632 --> 01:01:18,801 Got ladies over fours. Huh? 1123 01:01:18,884 --> 01:01:21,929 -Damn! -I have a three and an ace. 1124 01:01:22,012 --> 01:01:24,723 It does not get any better than this. 1125 01:01:24,807 --> 01:01:27,476 -Look at that. -Bennykins, I'm home. 1126 01:01:28,143 --> 01:01:29,395 (DOOR CLOSES) 1127 01:01:30,688 --> 01:01:32,857 -Hi, honey. -Hey, Andie. 1128 01:01:34,817 --> 01:01:36,443 (SIGHS) 1129 01:01:36,527 --> 01:01:38,946 -She has a key? -Is that legal? 1130 01:01:40,447 --> 01:01:43,117 I wasn't expecting you. 1131 01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:45,077 How'd you get a key? 1132 01:01:46,328 --> 01:01:49,915 Oh, honey, Francesco, your super, he made me a copy. 1133 01:01:50,916 --> 01:01:53,168 Francesco, huh? 1134 01:01:53,252 --> 01:01:55,880 -All right. -You're not mad, are you, Benky-wenky? 1135 01:01:55,963 --> 01:01:57,339 -No, I'm not mad. -You're not mad? 1136 01:01:57,423 --> 01:01:58,632 No, no, no, no. I'm not mad. 1137 01:01:58,716 --> 01:02:00,801 -Oh, good. -You know the guys? Everybody. 1138 01:02:00,885 --> 01:02:03,304 -Tony, Thayer, Francis. -Oh, yes. 1139 01:02:03,387 --> 01:02:06,599 -Watch out! Hey, hey, hey! -No, no, no, no! 1140 01:02:07,266 --> 01:02:09,101 Tony. Hi, Tony. 1141 01:02:09,184 --> 01:02:10,561 -Ronald. -Hello. 1142 01:02:10,644 --> 01:02:12,062 -Joe. -Joe. 1143 01:02:12,146 --> 01:02:13,314 -Hey. -Andie... 1144 01:02:13,397 --> 01:02:15,149 I didn't mean to interrupt your little game. 1145 01:02:15,232 --> 01:02:18,068 -We're all... -I brought some yummy snacks. 1146 01:02:18,152 --> 01:02:22,156 -Snacks? -The game is hold 'em. 1147 01:02:22,239 --> 01:02:24,867 Three up for company, ante a dollar, please. 1148 01:02:24,950 --> 01:02:30,789 -Tony! Yucky, yucky pizza. Yucky pizza. -Oh, no! 1149 01:02:30,873 --> 01:02:33,292 Yummy, yummy cucumber sandwich. 1150 01:02:35,169 --> 01:02:37,463 -First card up is a nine. -Thanks. 1151 01:02:39,632 --> 01:02:41,592 -I'II take one. -Yeah. Sure, yeah. 1152 01:02:41,675 --> 01:02:43,260 Good boys. Good. 1153 01:02:43,344 --> 01:02:45,846 BEN: Here we go. Get rid of those over there. Thank you very much. 1154 01:02:45,930 --> 01:02:48,223 -Three up. Three up. -I went a buck. You follow? 1155 01:02:48,307 --> 01:02:49,725 -Buck around the horn. -See it. 1156 01:02:49,808 --> 01:02:52,311 Buck around the horn. Buck around the horn. 1157 01:02:52,394 --> 01:02:54,188 (COUGHING) 1158 01:02:58,609 --> 01:03:00,861 (COUGHING LOUDLY) 1159 01:03:06,116 --> 01:03:07,743 (IMITATES CIGAR HISSING) 1160 01:03:11,080 --> 01:03:13,040 Thanks, Benny. 1161 01:03:13,123 --> 01:03:14,541 Thayer! 1162 01:03:14,625 --> 01:03:16,794 -That means you, too, Thayer. -Oh, yeah. 1163 01:03:16,877 --> 01:03:19,588 BEN: All right, everyone in for a buck. Next card five. 1164 01:03:19,672 --> 01:03:21,465 Nines and fives. Nines and fives. That's back to you, Tito. 1165 01:03:21,548 --> 01:03:22,716 Whoo! 1166 01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:25,928 Nine and a seven! Go for the straight! 1167 01:03:26,845 --> 01:03:27,888 Hmm. 1168 01:03:29,139 --> 01:03:31,058 BEN: Round two. Tone the Bone, you're up, man. 1169 01:03:31,141 --> 01:03:32,810 TONY: She told you my hand. 1170 01:03:32,893 --> 01:03:34,603 -Peek-a-boo! -Hi. 1171 01:03:35,729 --> 01:03:37,189 Hey. 1172 01:03:37,272 --> 01:03:39,441 Guys, you wanna play cards here? What's going on? 1173 01:03:39,525 --> 01:03:41,485 TONY: What game are we playing? 1174 01:03:41,568 --> 01:03:42,987 BEN: We're playing hold 'em. 1175 01:03:43,070 --> 01:03:45,447 BEN: Yeah, yeah, yeah. TONY: All right. 1176 01:03:45,531 --> 01:03:48,283 All right. I'm already maxed out. We got a nine up. Nine up, guys. 1177 01:03:48,367 --> 01:03:50,035 -Nine up... -Blow. 1178 01:03:52,162 --> 01:03:54,790 Blow. Nobody likes a Mr. Sniffles. 1179 01:03:54,915 --> 01:03:56,166 (SNICKERING) 1180 01:03:56,250 --> 01:03:59,169 -I hate Mr. Sniffles. -Come on, stuffy head. 1181 01:04:00,754 --> 01:04:02,131 (BLOWING NOSE) 1182 01:04:02,673 --> 01:04:03,799 (SNORTING) 1183 01:04:04,133 --> 01:04:06,427 Good. We're good. 1184 01:04:06,510 --> 01:04:08,470 White. Healthy boy. 1185 01:04:08,554 --> 01:04:10,264 -THAYER: Good. -Healthy. 1186 01:04:13,726 --> 01:04:16,061 -Oh, no. -TONY: Are we playing? 1187 01:04:16,145 --> 01:04:17,604 Oh, no. 1188 01:04:17,688 --> 01:04:20,607 (GASPS) Our love fern! 1189 01:04:23,027 --> 01:04:24,403 It's dead! 1190 01:04:27,197 --> 01:04:31,035 -No, honey. It's just sleeping. -You let it die! 1191 01:04:33,579 --> 01:04:35,456 You gonna let us die? 1192 01:04:38,459 --> 01:04:40,711 You should think about that. 1193 01:04:42,046 --> 01:04:44,298 What the hell's a love fern? 1194 01:04:46,884 --> 01:04:50,429 All right, guys. Let's try to get through one hand. 1195 01:04:53,766 --> 01:04:55,476 Is she on something? 1196 01:04:56,477 --> 01:04:57,478 God, I hope so. 1197 01:04:57,603 --> 01:04:58,979 (SNICKERS) 1198 01:04:59,563 --> 01:05:00,814 (CLEARS THROAT) 1199 01:05:03,317 --> 01:05:04,443 Hi. 1200 01:05:08,489 --> 01:05:11,241 Are you saying I'm some kind of mental person? 1201 01:05:11,325 --> 01:05:13,243 -Hey, hey. -No, no, he wasn't... 1202 01:05:13,327 --> 01:05:14,828 -Oh, Tony! -What? 1203 01:05:14,953 --> 01:05:16,330 He was talking about... 1204 01:05:16,455 --> 01:05:17,664 -That's it! -BEN: Come on. 1205 01:05:17,748 --> 01:05:19,500 -That is it! -BEN: Andie. 1206 01:05:21,085 --> 01:05:23,670 I'm taking this love fern with me. 1207 01:05:23,837 --> 01:05:25,130 (DOG BARKING) 1208 01:05:26,423 --> 01:05:27,674 (DOOR CLOSES) 1209 01:05:34,181 --> 01:05:35,682 Hang on. 1210 01:05:35,808 --> 01:05:36,934 Hey. 1211 01:05:37,017 --> 01:05:39,603 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. 1212 01:05:39,686 --> 01:05:41,438 What just happened in there? 1213 01:05:41,522 --> 01:05:43,524 -l'm gonna go listen. -Yeah. 1214 01:05:43,607 --> 01:05:44,608 Quietly. 1215 01:05:44,691 --> 01:05:45,776 (LOUD BARKING) 1216 01:05:45,859 --> 01:05:47,694 Look, this is getting really creepy, all right? 1217 01:05:47,820 --> 01:05:50,531 You're acting completely insane. You know that? 1218 01:05:50,656 --> 01:05:54,118 -So I am insane? -No, you're acting insane. 1219 01:05:54,201 --> 01:05:55,285 Shut up, Krull. 1220 01:05:55,369 --> 01:05:56,370 (WHINES) 1221 01:05:57,496 --> 01:05:59,039 -He's an innocent animal! -Yeah, yeah. 1222 01:05:59,164 --> 01:06:00,707 And he'll live, okay? I'm talking to you. 1223 01:06:00,833 --> 01:06:03,127 I don't know if I can be with somebody who doesn't like animals 1224 01:06:03,210 --> 01:06:05,212 and thinks I'm a mental person. 1225 01:06:05,337 --> 01:06:07,047 That's what I'm talking about. 1226 01:06:07,131 --> 01:06:12,052 Where is the sexy, cool, fun, smart, beautiful Andie that I knew? 1227 01:06:12,177 --> 01:06:15,139 The one who wanted to be a serious journalist, huh? 1228 01:06:15,222 --> 01:06:16,890 You're up, you're down, you're here, you're there. 1229 01:06:17,015 --> 01:06:19,977 You're like a freaking one-woman circus, Andie. 1230 01:06:20,060 --> 01:06:22,729 -So I guess this means we're over. -Yeah, I guess so. 1231 01:06:22,855 --> 01:06:24,565 -Fine. -Fine! 1232 01:06:26,358 --> 01:06:28,402 Oh, finally. 1233 01:06:33,657 --> 01:06:34,700 Whoa! 1234 01:06:42,666 --> 01:06:44,668 -It's over, men. -Oh, man, that's... 1235 01:06:44,751 --> 01:06:48,172 -No, no, no. -It is, man. It's over. 1236 01:06:48,255 --> 01:06:50,424 -Four more days. -Guys, you were here. 1237 01:06:50,549 --> 01:06:52,676 Did you just witness the one-woman homage to The Exorcist? 1238 01:06:52,759 --> 01:06:55,429 -You saw it! Huh? -Yeah, I did. I thought it was sexy. 1239 01:06:55,554 --> 01:06:57,764 -Yeah. -It was not sexy. 1240 01:06:57,890 --> 01:07:00,434 -He's right. -Forget it. He's right. 1241 01:07:01,101 --> 01:07:02,853 So do you think Spears and Green 1242 01:07:02,936 --> 01:07:04,688 are gonna be comfortable in their new office? 1243 01:07:04,771 --> 01:07:06,190 -Oh, absolutely. -No, no. Guys, stop. 1244 01:07:06,273 --> 01:07:08,192 Maybe he's excited that he's gonna be selling Nerf footballs 1245 01:07:08,275 --> 01:07:09,526 -for the rest of his life. -Hey, hey, hey, hey! 1246 01:07:09,610 --> 01:07:10,861 He may get, like, a really good douche campaign. 1247 01:07:10,944 --> 01:07:13,280 -Hey, it's done. All right? What? What? -Couples therapy. 1248 01:07:13,405 --> 01:07:14,531 -Of course! -What? 1249 01:07:14,615 --> 01:07:17,034 Every time my wife wants to divorce me, I suggest couples therapy. 1250 01:07:17,117 --> 01:07:19,536 -It'll buy you at least four days. -It's true. She hates him. 1251 01:07:19,620 --> 01:07:21,705 -Couples therapy. Couples therapy. -Yeah, couples therapy. 1252 01:07:21,788 --> 01:07:23,624 -Couples therapy! -Couples therapy. 1253 01:07:23,707 --> 01:07:24,875 -Couples therapy. -Come on! 1254 01:07:24,958 --> 01:07:27,044 -Couples therapy! Couples therapy! -Couples therapy! 1255 01:07:27,127 --> 01:07:29,129 Therapy! Couples therapy! 1256 01:07:29,296 --> 01:07:30,380 Whoa! 1257 01:07:41,767 --> 01:07:43,894 Andie. Hold it, hold it, hold it. 1258 01:07:43,977 --> 01:07:47,231 Listen, can you forgive me, sugar puss? Look, I don't know what I was thinking. 1259 01:07:47,314 --> 01:07:48,899 All right? I'm sorry. 1260 01:07:48,982 --> 01:07:52,778 I am way out of line, Andie. Can you give me another chance? 1261 01:07:54,821 --> 01:07:56,782 Haven't you had enough? 1262 01:07:57,449 --> 01:08:00,327 -Hey, look, I'm willing to do anything. -Get up. 1263 01:08:00,452 --> 01:08:02,955 -I'll do anything, Andie. -Get up. 1264 01:08:03,830 --> 01:08:05,666 Look, what do you think about... 1265 01:08:05,791 --> 01:08:09,836 What do you think about couples therapy? 1266 01:08:11,588 --> 01:08:13,423 -Couples therapy? -Couples therapy. 1267 01:08:13,507 --> 01:08:15,509 Look, Thayer up there, he's got this doctor. 1268 01:08:15,634 --> 01:08:17,010 He says he's a hell of a guy. 1269 01:08:17,094 --> 01:08:19,680 No, I know a therapist who will work wonders 1270 01:08:19,805 --> 01:08:22,349 -with somebody like you, Benjamin. -Yes. That's what I need. 1271 01:08:22,432 --> 01:08:24,685 I will call and schedule an emergency session. 1272 01:08:24,810 --> 01:08:27,854 -Baby, whatever it takes. -A kiss. 1273 01:08:27,980 --> 01:08:29,856 Thank you, sweetheart. 1274 01:08:31,358 --> 01:08:33,360 Thank you for understanding. 1275 01:08:33,443 --> 01:08:37,531 I love you, Benky, but I don't have to like you right now. 1276 01:08:42,869 --> 01:08:44,454 Thank you, Andie. 1277 01:08:50,210 --> 01:08:53,380 Damn it! Shit! 1278 01:08:55,173 --> 01:08:59,177 If you're really gonna commit to this, you're gonna have to open up. 1279 01:08:59,261 --> 01:09:01,346 -Yeah. -And dig deep. 1280 01:09:01,430 --> 01:09:03,056 -Okay. -Bare that beautiful soul. 1281 01:09:03,140 --> 01:09:04,975 Let me see your teeth. 1282 01:09:06,643 --> 01:09:09,062 Andie Anderson. Benjamin Barry. 1283 01:09:09,896 --> 01:09:12,733 Please come in. Hi. Welcome. 1284 01:09:18,780 --> 01:09:23,493 Before we get started, how are you planning on paying for the session? 1285 01:09:23,577 --> 01:09:25,245 -Sweetie? -How much is it? 1286 01:09:25,329 --> 01:09:27,414 -$300. -$300? 1287 01:09:27,873 --> 01:09:28,915 Mmm-hmm. 1288 01:09:30,500 --> 01:09:31,793 Whatever it takes. Yeah. 1289 01:09:31,877 --> 01:09:35,756 So, tell me, how long have you guys been seeing each other? 1290 01:09:35,839 --> 01:09:39,384 -Seven days. -Seven days. Interesting. 1291 01:09:39,468 --> 01:09:42,095 Is that too soon to be seeing a therapist? 1292 01:09:42,179 --> 01:09:45,682 Well, Ben, seven days isn't like a lifetime or anything. 1293 01:09:45,766 --> 01:09:47,851 -It's like a week. -It... 1294 01:09:48,769 --> 01:09:50,937 Did you hear that tone? 1295 01:09:51,021 --> 01:09:54,816 How can we not have a gulf between us with a tone like that? 1296 01:09:54,900 --> 01:09:57,527 How are things between you sexually? 1297 01:09:58,320 --> 01:10:00,906 Oh! Uh-oh. 1298 01:10:01,698 --> 01:10:05,202 -We haven't had sex. -Oh, no, Ben has a little-bitty problem. 1299 01:10:05,285 --> 01:10:07,287 -I don't have a problem. -Yes, you do. 1300 01:10:07,371 --> 01:10:09,956 -No, I do not have a problem. -Yeah. It's a big problem. 1301 01:10:10,040 --> 01:10:11,416 -I do not have a problem. -You have a problem. 1302 01:10:11,500 --> 01:10:13,210 Look, look, wait a minute. The one night 1303 01:10:13,293 --> 01:10:16,797 that we even thought about getting close to having sex, 1304 01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:19,674 all right, she up and decides she's gonna nickname my... 1305 01:10:19,758 --> 01:10:23,136 -Penis. -Yeah. Princess Sophia. 1306 01:10:23,220 --> 01:10:26,640 You want to talk about shooting a man's horse? Come on. 1307 01:10:26,723 --> 01:10:30,727 -I thought it was a beautiful name. -I see, Benjamin. 1308 01:10:30,811 --> 01:10:34,898 And when was it that you first realized that you were attracted to other men? 1309 01:10:34,981 --> 01:10:37,150 -Oh, that's serious. -What? 1310 01:10:37,776 --> 01:10:38,860 Hmm. 1311 01:10:38,944 --> 01:10:41,571 -Benjamin, this is a safe space. -Look, it's just simple. 1312 01:10:41,655 --> 01:10:44,866 I like women, okay? It just happened that way. 1313 01:10:44,950 --> 01:10:47,452 Methinks thou doth protesteth too much. 1314 01:10:47,536 --> 01:10:49,329 You see? Stop it. This is the shit I'm talking about. 1315 01:10:49,413 --> 01:10:50,872 -What the hell was that? -What did I do? 1316 01:10:50,956 --> 01:10:52,040 Whoa! 1317 01:10:52,124 --> 01:10:53,667 I mean, this is what she does. Stop that! 1318 01:10:53,750 --> 01:10:57,546 You know, I'm hearing a lot of latent anger here, Benjamin. 1319 01:10:57,712 --> 01:10:58,797 (GASPS) 1320 01:10:58,880 --> 01:11:01,925 -Rage-aholic. -I'm not a rage-aholic. 1321 01:11:02,008 --> 01:11:03,176 -I called that one. -Stop! 1322 01:11:03,260 --> 01:11:04,761 You know what? Take a deep breath for me, Ben. 1323 01:11:04,845 --> 01:11:05,929 (INHALING) 1324 01:11:06,012 --> 01:11:07,514 Okay, let it go. Just let it go. 1325 01:11:07,597 --> 01:11:08,723 (EXHALING) 1326 01:11:09,724 --> 01:11:11,685 -Yeah. -I feel better. 1327 01:11:11,768 --> 01:11:12,978 Okay. 1328 01:11:13,061 --> 01:11:17,816 Come here. I've seen this before, and I've seen it many times. 1329 01:11:17,899 --> 01:11:19,901 -Yeah? -Yeah. 1330 01:11:19,985 --> 01:11:23,280 -Would you two like to be left alone? -No. 1331 01:11:23,363 --> 01:11:25,240 Maybe you should get a room. 1332 01:11:25,323 --> 01:11:28,743 -You are hitting on our shrink. -No, I'm not. 1333 01:11:28,827 --> 01:11:31,872 Yes, you are, and you are a pathological flirt! 1334 01:11:31,955 --> 01:11:35,792 Jesus! Five seconds ago I'm gay. Now I'm a pathological flirt. 1335 01:11:35,876 --> 01:11:39,212 -I sweat when I get nervous. -Which one is it, Andie? 1336 01:11:39,296 --> 01:11:41,298 Besides, why would I need to hit on another woman? 1337 01:11:41,381 --> 01:11:42,924 You've got more than enough personalities 1338 01:11:43,008 --> 01:11:45,010 to keep me completely occupied. 1339 01:11:45,802 --> 01:11:50,098 -That was hurtful. -Okay. Ben, are you ashamed of Andie? 1340 01:11:50,807 --> 01:11:52,184 -Of course he is! -I'm not ashamed. 1341 01:11:52,267 --> 01:11:54,144 -Of course he is. You are. -I'm not ashamed. 1342 01:11:54,227 --> 01:11:56,855 -How do you think that makes me feel? -I'm not ashamed of you. 1343 01:11:57,272 --> 01:12:01,860 It's like, when I talked to his mother, he freaked out. 1344 01:12:01,943 --> 01:12:04,613 No. You did that behind my back. She did it behind my back. 1345 01:12:04,696 --> 01:12:08,200 -I just wanted to say hi. -Andie, you wanna talk to my mother? 1346 01:12:08,283 --> 01:12:10,410 You wanna talk to my mother? Talk to my mother. 1347 01:12:10,494 --> 01:12:13,955 Hey, you wanna talk to the whole family, you can talk to the whole family. 1348 01:12:14,039 --> 01:12:16,875 Hell, we can go to Staten Island, spend the weekend with them, Andie. 1349 01:12:16,958 --> 01:12:19,586 Now that is a positive idea, Ben. 1350 01:12:19,669 --> 01:12:22,672 -It is? -How about it, Andie? 1351 01:12:22,756 --> 01:12:25,509 -What? -Would you like to go to Staten Island? 1352 01:12:47,948 --> 01:12:50,033 Uncle Ben! Hi! 1353 01:12:53,745 --> 01:12:56,206 ANDIE: Thanks. BEN: Yes, ma'am. 1354 01:12:56,748 --> 01:13:00,377 -Hey, Mom, Pop, we're here. -JACK: Yeah, bullshit! 1355 01:13:00,460 --> 01:13:02,045 Who's that handsome guy? 1356 01:13:02,128 --> 01:13:04,297 That's my dad when he was an ensign in the Navy. 1357 01:13:04,422 --> 01:13:05,966 He got stationed here about 10 years ago. 1358 01:13:06,091 --> 01:13:07,884 -JACK: Bullshit! -Uh-oh. 1359 01:13:07,968 --> 01:13:10,637 -Hey, darling, I'm glad to see you. -Hey, sweetie, how you doing? 1360 01:13:10,762 --> 01:13:13,056 -Good. Perfect timing. -You know who this is? 1361 01:13:13,139 --> 01:13:15,725 I do, and I'll let you check the baby, see if he needs changing. 1362 01:13:15,809 --> 01:13:19,312 Hi, Andie. I'm so happy to have you here in the flesh. 1363 01:13:19,396 --> 01:13:21,314 You're just as pretty as you sound on the telephone. 1364 01:13:21,398 --> 01:13:24,150 -JACK: Glenda! -I'm coming! Jesus, Mary and Joseph. 1365 01:13:24,234 --> 01:13:26,653 -Excuse me. Show her upstairs, okay? -Oh, yeah. 1366 01:13:26,778 --> 01:13:30,156 -And this is Joey Jr. -Bullshit! 1367 01:13:30,282 --> 01:13:31,908 And the whole family suffers from Tourette's. 1368 01:13:31,992 --> 01:13:33,076 I hope that's not a problem. 1369 01:13:33,159 --> 01:13:34,661 -And Joey, here... -You're so handsome! 1370 01:13:34,744 --> 01:13:36,079 ...suffers from being a stinky rose. 1371 01:13:36,162 --> 01:13:38,915 We're gonna get you cleaned up. So go out back. Have a good time. 1372 01:13:38,999 --> 01:13:40,333 Okay. 1373 01:13:40,458 --> 01:13:42,669 (SCREAMING) 1374 01:13:42,752 --> 01:13:44,504 -Got you! -Okay! 1375 01:13:46,089 --> 01:13:48,300 -BOY: You're it! -He got you. 1376 01:13:49,843 --> 01:13:51,928 -Uncle Arnold says he's got three kings. -Yeah, right. 1377 01:13:52,012 --> 01:13:55,181 Okay, Uncle Arnold, now, dare I say it or not? I'm gonna just say it. 1378 01:13:55,265 --> 01:13:56,516 Okay, I'm gonna say it. Bullshit! 1379 01:13:56,641 --> 01:13:57,767 (LAUGHING) 1380 01:13:59,769 --> 01:14:01,104 -Hi. -Honey. 1381 01:14:01,187 --> 01:14:02,939 -Oh, wow. -Andie! 1382 01:14:03,023 --> 01:14:05,442 -Well, well, well. -Come on out here, Andie. 1383 01:14:05,525 --> 01:14:06,776 -Meet everybody. -Okay. 1384 01:14:06,860 --> 01:14:10,280 -I want you to meet Ben's father. -Well, hello! 1385 01:14:10,363 --> 01:14:12,616 -Jack, this is Andie, Jack. -Welcome to our humble abode. 1386 01:14:12,699 --> 01:14:14,951 -This is our Uncle Arnold. -Hi, Uncle Arnold. 1387 01:14:15,035 --> 01:14:16,786 -This is Andie. -You gotta watch him. 1388 01:14:16,870 --> 01:14:19,873 He farts like a howitzer, but he's family, so what are you gonna do? 1389 01:14:19,956 --> 01:14:21,458 Intestinal complications. 1390 01:14:21,541 --> 01:14:23,126 -Yeah, right, Arnold. -Prunes! 1391 01:14:23,209 --> 01:14:24,377 Did you meet Joey? 1392 01:14:24,502 --> 01:14:25,629 -A female Andie. -I-E. 1393 01:14:25,712 --> 01:14:26,796 -Nice to meet you. -Welcome. 1394 01:14:26,880 --> 01:14:29,382 Okay. Here we go now. The game is Bullshit, 1395 01:14:29,466 --> 01:14:31,801 and you are just in time for the lightning round, my dear. 1396 01:14:31,885 --> 01:14:33,303 I don't really know how to play. 1397 01:14:33,386 --> 01:14:35,138 Well, we're gonna teach you. It's very simple. 1398 01:14:35,221 --> 01:14:37,223 The trick is to get rid of all the cards in your hand, all right? 1399 01:14:37,349 --> 01:14:38,558 (FARTS) 1400 01:14:38,642 --> 01:14:41,144 So I'm gonna look at my hand I'm gonna see what I've got, here. 1401 01:14:41,227 --> 01:14:43,063 And well, you know, I've got two aces here. 1402 01:14:43,146 --> 01:14:45,982 Well, two aces. What do you say to that? 1403 01:14:49,194 --> 01:14:51,071 What are you gonna say? 1404 01:14:52,155 --> 01:14:54,324 -I say bullshit. -What did she say? I didn't quite hear. 1405 01:14:54,407 --> 01:14:55,909 Did you guys? I didn't hear what she said. 1406 01:14:56,034 --> 01:14:58,244 -I said bullshit! -All right! 1407 01:14:58,370 --> 01:15:00,830 -She knows how to play the game! -Yes, sir! 1408 01:15:00,914 --> 01:15:03,500 -Is that big daddy? -Come to Papa. 1409 01:15:03,583 --> 01:15:06,336 Get on over there, big man. Slick as a whistle. 1410 01:15:06,419 --> 01:15:08,088 -How you doing, Unc? -Not bad. 1411 01:15:08,213 --> 01:15:09,839 -Pop. -Hey, how you doing, buddy? 1412 01:15:09,923 --> 01:15:12,008 -Got a game of Bullshit going here? -You want to join us? 1413 01:15:12,092 --> 01:15:15,095 -Good luck. -The expert here. 1414 01:15:15,178 --> 01:15:17,931 Okay, now, we went through the deck. We're gonna start at the beginning now. 1415 01:15:18,014 --> 01:15:21,017 So we go to twos. Let's see. I got myself one deuce here. 1416 01:15:21,101 --> 01:15:22,686 Bullshit. 1417 01:15:23,770 --> 01:15:26,523 -Bullshit, Pop. -He's a human lie detector, isn't he? 1418 01:15:26,606 --> 01:15:28,858 Try this, son. Two threes. 1419 01:15:28,942 --> 01:15:30,360 Mmm-hmm. 1420 01:15:30,443 --> 01:15:32,862 -One four. -Three fives. 1421 01:15:33,363 --> 01:15:34,864 Bullshit. 1422 01:15:35,448 --> 01:15:37,701 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1423 01:15:37,784 --> 01:15:39,953 You see whose name's on the top of the board over there? 1424 01:15:40,036 --> 01:15:42,455 Yes. It says Ben, with a star next to it. 1425 01:15:42,539 --> 01:15:43,790 You still wanna bullshit me? 1426 01:15:43,873 --> 01:15:46,292 (LAUGHING) God, you must be so proud. 1427 01:15:46,418 --> 01:15:48,211 I'm doing my best. What do we got? 1428 01:15:48,294 --> 01:15:52,799 -Did I... No, I told the truth. -Three fives. 1429 01:15:52,882 --> 01:15:56,136 -All right, all right. -He's good. He's the champ. 1430 01:15:56,219 --> 01:15:57,470 (FARTS) 1431 01:15:57,554 --> 01:15:59,931 -What am I? -Sixes to you. 1432 01:16:00,724 --> 01:16:02,892 -One six. -One six. All right. 1433 01:16:02,976 --> 01:16:04,561 Look what I got here. I got myself two sevens. 1434 01:16:04,644 --> 01:16:07,397 You see, the key to this game is being able to read people. 1435 01:16:07,480 --> 01:16:09,482 -Two eights. -Bullshit. 1436 01:16:10,233 --> 01:16:12,610 Bullshit, Mama. 1437 01:16:14,446 --> 01:16:16,156 I'm gonna have to hurt you. 1438 01:16:16,281 --> 01:16:19,409 You see, Mom's never been that great at it, but why? 1439 01:16:19,492 --> 01:16:21,828 -Just 'cause I'm so pure of heart. -So pure of heart. 1440 01:16:21,953 --> 01:16:23,913 Bullshit. 1441 01:16:23,997 --> 01:16:25,331 (SNORING) 1442 01:16:25,457 --> 01:16:28,084 Hello? Hello, where is everybody? Hey! 1443 01:16:28,168 --> 01:16:30,587 (ALL CHATTERING) 1444 01:16:30,962 --> 01:16:32,756 This is Andie. Andie, this is my sister, Dora. 1445 01:16:32,839 --> 01:16:34,591 -Hi. Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you. 1446 01:16:34,674 --> 01:16:36,760 Andie is kicking Ben's ass in Bullshit. 1447 01:16:36,843 --> 01:16:38,678 -I like this girl. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1448 01:16:38,803 --> 01:16:42,015 -That's right. -Ben's starting a little card collection. 1449 01:16:42,098 --> 01:16:46,436 All right. Let me get back on track here. Gentle Ben starts with three ladies. 1450 01:16:46,519 --> 01:16:49,522 That's to you. What do you got to say about that? 1451 01:16:56,863 --> 01:16:58,323 Bullshit. 1452 01:17:00,033 --> 01:17:02,202 You heard me. I said bullshit. 1453 01:17:04,496 --> 01:17:06,998 (ALL LAUGHING) 1454 01:17:07,832 --> 01:17:09,876 What is that, seven in a row, Sparky? 1455 01:17:10,001 --> 01:17:12,879 I think somebody's met his match. 1456 01:17:13,004 --> 01:17:18,134 Well, it's all about reading people. 1457 01:17:19,177 --> 01:17:21,638 -Loser. -Okay. Two kings. 1458 01:17:27,477 --> 01:17:28,812 Bullshit? 1459 01:17:31,481 --> 01:17:32,565 Bullshit! 1460 01:17:32,690 --> 01:17:33,900 (ALL SHOUTING) 1461 01:17:33,983 --> 01:17:37,320 What's all that? Yeah, you! 1462 01:17:37,403 --> 01:17:41,491 -I'm your daddy, now. -You have met your match! 1463 01:17:41,574 --> 01:17:44,994 And you, Mom, Miss Pure of Heart. Pop, we'll talk later. 1464 01:17:45,078 --> 01:17:49,499 You're hiding behind a badge. Cheated. Betrayed by my own parents. 1465 01:17:49,582 --> 01:17:54,003 The only honest man in this place is Uncle Arnold, who's asleep. 1466 01:17:54,087 --> 01:17:55,839 -But I won! -I'm gonna go inside 1467 01:17:55,922 --> 01:17:58,591 and play with the kids. Maybe they won't lie, cheat and steal. 1468 01:17:58,716 --> 01:18:00,260 Okay, keep my name at the top of the board. 1469 01:18:00,385 --> 01:18:03,763 Now, Andie, I hope you know that we expect you to come back here 1470 01:18:03,888 --> 01:18:07,350 because you have held Ben to his lowest Bullshit score 1471 01:18:07,433 --> 01:18:09,435 -since his tonsillectomy... -BEN: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1472 01:18:09,519 --> 01:18:13,356 -...and we are thrilled! -Lowest! 1473 01:18:13,439 --> 01:18:16,025 Why, were all his other girlfriends Bullshit losers? 1474 01:18:16,109 --> 01:18:18,528 -What other girlfriends? -Ma, he's picky. 1475 01:18:18,611 --> 01:18:21,781 You are the first girl he's ever brought home. 1476 01:18:22,699 --> 01:18:24,617 Don't you break his heart, now. 1477 01:18:24,742 --> 01:18:27,871 And that dress! Andie! Now, does that come in my size? 1478 01:18:27,954 --> 01:18:29,706 (ALL CHUCKLING) 1479 01:18:51,811 --> 01:18:53,646 -My turn? -Yes, ma'am. 1480 01:18:57,483 --> 01:19:01,654 -It's heavy. -Turn it on. Good. 1481 01:19:01,779 --> 01:19:04,240 -Keep the clutch in. -That's the clutch? 1482 01:19:04,324 --> 01:19:06,659 Brake here on your right. Your gears are on the left. 1483 01:19:06,784 --> 01:19:08,494 -One down. -Okay. 1484 01:19:08,620 --> 01:19:11,497 Now, when you take off, you're gonna give a little bit on the clutch, 1485 01:19:11,623 --> 01:19:15,251 and then you're gonna go a little bit here. A little give, a little go. 1486 01:19:15,335 --> 01:19:18,004 -How's it go? -A little give and a little go? 1487 01:19:18,129 --> 01:19:19,422 (CHUCKLING) Yeah. 1488 01:19:19,505 --> 01:19:21,174 (ENGINE REVVING) 1489 01:19:21,799 --> 01:19:23,092 (ANDIE SCREAMS) 1490 01:19:26,012 --> 01:19:28,890 Clutch! Clutch and a little brake. There we are. 1491 01:19:32,018 --> 01:19:34,145 -You got it? -I got it. I got it. 1492 01:19:34,228 --> 01:19:38,483 You got it. Voilà, voilà, voilà! 1493 01:19:39,984 --> 01:19:42,862 I mean, there's a lot of cool things about a bike, you know. 1494 01:19:42,987 --> 01:19:45,990 Use less gas, no traffic jam, 1495 01:19:46,074 --> 01:19:47,992 you can park wherever the hell you want. 1496 01:19:48,076 --> 01:19:50,328 -At the end of the day... -Thank you. 1497 01:19:50,411 --> 01:19:52,205 ...chicks dig them. 1498 01:19:52,747 --> 01:19:54,916 (SCREAMING) 1499 01:19:55,041 --> 01:19:57,210 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1500 01:19:58,503 --> 01:20:01,839 You look so cute. Let me ask you a question. 1501 01:20:01,923 --> 01:20:05,385 -Chicks dig this? -Yes, chicks dig this. 1502 01:20:12,850 --> 01:20:14,143 (LAUGHING) 1503 01:20:14,227 --> 01:20:17,355 -I turned! -Who's driving like a pro? 1504 01:20:20,108 --> 01:20:21,901 -Yeah, look at you! -Ooh! 1505 01:20:23,403 --> 01:20:24,904 Look at this look. 1506 01:20:25,029 --> 01:20:28,741 Right. Now, this shower, it's a little bit tricky. 1507 01:20:28,866 --> 01:20:30,743 The hot is actually cold, the cold is actually hot. 1508 01:20:30,868 --> 01:20:33,079 You gotta crank it all the way up at first, 1509 01:20:33,204 --> 01:20:37,000 and if somebody flushes the toilet in Bayonne, 1510 01:20:37,083 --> 01:20:39,711 you are gonna get scalded. 1511 01:20:39,794 --> 01:20:41,796 Towels are right there. 1512 01:20:47,093 --> 01:20:49,178 Everything all right? Is this okay? 1513 01:20:49,262 --> 01:20:51,639 Oh, no. It's more than okay. 1514 01:20:54,225 --> 01:20:57,937 I love everything about this house. The noise, the smells. 1515 01:20:58,271 --> 01:21:01,774 Oh. Well, the smells, that's Uncle Arnold. I mean... 1516 01:21:15,121 --> 01:21:16,622 What's wrong? 1517 01:21:17,957 --> 01:21:20,960 It's just that when your mama hugged me today, 1518 01:21:22,754 --> 01:21:24,255 she really hugged me 1519 01:21:27,300 --> 01:21:29,469 for winning a game of Bullshit. 1520 01:21:30,845 --> 01:21:33,181 Sweetie, that's a good thing. 1521 01:21:33,806 --> 01:21:35,016 Smile. 1522 01:21:36,350 --> 01:21:38,770 Smile. Now, come on, give me a smile. 1523 01:21:39,312 --> 01:21:42,440 Okay, that's good. That's it. You're scaring me. 1524 01:21:52,867 --> 01:21:55,161 (FEELS LIKE HOME PLAYING) 1525 01:22:18,309 --> 01:22:19,519 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 1526 01:23:35,219 --> 01:23:36,762 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1527 01:23:59,493 --> 01:24:02,413 -This is home, huh? -This is home. 1528 01:24:12,632 --> 01:24:15,551 Hey, listen, tomorrow night my boss is throwing a party 1529 01:24:15,635 --> 01:24:18,262 for that diamond account I was telling you about. 1530 01:24:18,346 --> 01:24:20,640 I want you to come with me. 1531 01:24:21,140 --> 01:24:23,017 -Okay. -Okay? 1532 01:24:23,601 --> 01:24:24,852 Yeah. 1533 01:24:27,813 --> 01:24:29,482 As my girlfriend. 1534 01:24:33,986 --> 01:24:38,532 -Are you calling me your girlfriend? -Yeah. I think I am. 1535 01:24:44,872 --> 01:24:47,875 Won't tomorrow be the tenth day we've been seeing each other? 1536 01:24:48,000 --> 01:24:49,001 Mmm-hmm. 1537 01:24:50,336 --> 01:24:52,338 Maybe after that we'll know. 1538 01:24:55,549 --> 01:24:58,719 Listen, don't make any plans for day 13, okay? 1539 01:24:59,553 --> 01:25:00,805 'Cause 1540 01:25:00,888 --> 01:25:01,931 (ANDIE GASPS) 1541 01:25:02,014 --> 01:25:03,224 we have a game to go to. 1542 01:25:03,391 --> 01:25:05,101 (LAUGHING) 1543 01:25:05,184 --> 01:25:07,103 They're not as good as seats as you got us, 1544 01:25:07,186 --> 01:25:09,105 but this is game seven. 1545 01:25:09,188 --> 01:25:10,356 Yes? 1546 01:25:11,565 --> 01:25:13,234 Oh, come here. 1547 01:25:36,757 --> 01:25:38,301 -Okay. -Yes? 1548 01:25:38,384 --> 01:25:39,760 Lana, 1549 01:25:40,720 --> 01:25:42,555 I can't write this article. 1550 01:25:43,264 --> 01:25:47,059 -Is your computer broken? -I've gotten to know this guy. 1551 01:25:47,184 --> 01:25:53,065 Andie, do you see any patches or insignia anywhere on my clothing? 1552 01:25:54,608 --> 01:25:55,735 No. 1553 01:25:55,860 --> 01:25:58,321 It's because I'm not your Girl Scout leader, I'm your boss. 1554 01:25:58,404 --> 01:26:00,531 You'll write the article. 1555 01:26:00,614 --> 01:26:04,952 This cover is at the printer as we speak, with a special section on diamonds, 1556 01:26:05,077 --> 01:26:09,290 which is going to take care of my ad quota for the entire year. 1557 01:26:09,415 --> 01:26:11,667 I want copy on my desk in 48 hours. 1558 01:26:11,751 --> 01:26:15,421 -Okay, but Lana... -No "but Lana," you'll do it. 1559 01:26:16,797 --> 01:26:19,133 Because you're a professional. 1560 01:26:22,595 --> 01:26:23,971 Yes, I am. 1561 01:26:58,881 --> 01:27:00,633 You're beautiful. 1562 01:27:09,850 --> 01:27:12,228 You look pretty good, too, Sparky. 1563 01:27:26,200 --> 01:27:29,078 -WAITER: Champagne, madame? -Thank you. 1564 01:27:41,257 --> 01:27:43,509 Chalk one up to couples therapy. 1565 01:27:43,592 --> 01:27:44,677 Oh! 1566 01:27:45,428 --> 01:27:46,929 Some party. 1567 01:27:47,930 --> 01:27:49,390 Hmm? 1568 01:27:49,515 --> 01:27:51,183 You're gonna do great. 1569 01:27:51,934 --> 01:27:53,769 I'm gonna go to the bar and get us a couple drinks. 1570 01:27:53,853 --> 01:27:55,187 -Oh, good idea. -Okay? 1571 01:27:55,271 --> 01:28:01,193 And while I do that, would you please head over there and frost yourself? 1572 01:28:03,737 --> 01:28:06,449 -I can wear those? -Yes, ma'am, you can. 1573 01:28:15,416 --> 01:28:16,959 -Phillip! -Lana! 1574 01:28:17,042 --> 01:28:18,586 I don't see you at a party for ages. 1575 01:28:18,711 --> 01:28:21,464 Now, here you are, throwing the bash of the year. 1576 01:28:21,547 --> 01:28:23,007 I'm glad you could make it. 1577 01:28:23,090 --> 01:28:25,176 -Like them? -It suits you. 1578 01:28:25,259 --> 01:28:26,635 I know! 1579 01:28:26,719 --> 01:28:28,387 Harry Winston. 1580 01:28:28,471 --> 01:28:32,892 How did you get all these jewelers to agree to appear at the same fête? 1581 01:28:32,975 --> 01:28:36,604 -At the request of Mrs. DeLauer. -Really? 1582 01:28:36,729 --> 01:28:41,775 You see, Mr. DeLauer controls 70% of the world's diamonds, 1583 01:28:41,901 --> 01:28:44,195 and Mrs. DeLauer controls Mr. DeLauer. 1584 01:28:44,278 --> 01:28:46,280 (CHUCKLING) 1585 01:28:46,405 --> 01:28:48,240 -You're bad. -Enjoy. 1586 01:28:49,241 --> 01:28:50,618 WOMAN: Lana! 1587 01:28:50,743 --> 01:28:53,245 -And this is real? -Oh, no, no, no, no. 1588 01:28:53,329 --> 01:28:54,663 I insist. 1589 01:28:54,747 --> 01:28:55,998 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 1590 01:28:56,081 --> 01:28:59,418 -Yes, sir. -Such beauty should be celebrated. 1591 01:29:00,836 --> 01:29:02,588 Oh! 1592 01:29:02,671 --> 01:29:06,175 -Isadora. -Oh, no. I'm Andie. 1593 01:29:06,258 --> 01:29:10,429 And a pleasure to meet you, Andie, but this is Isadora. 1594 01:29:10,930 --> 01:29:12,181 Turn. 1595 01:29:13,140 --> 01:29:18,354 Eighty-four karats, named for Isadora Duncan. 1596 01:29:18,437 --> 01:29:21,398 -Congratulations. You got her here. -Yup. 1597 01:29:21,482 --> 01:29:25,319 -But the question remains. -Does she or doesn't she? 1598 01:29:28,447 --> 01:29:30,282 We're gonna find out. 1599 01:29:30,991 --> 01:29:32,743 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 1600 01:29:32,826 --> 01:29:34,537 -An angel of God. -Thanks. 1601 01:29:34,620 --> 01:29:37,206 -I am Frederic. -Andie Anderson. 1602 01:29:40,167 --> 01:29:43,796 Well, it looks like you've got some competition, anyway. 1603 01:29:46,131 --> 01:29:49,677 Miss Anderson will be wearing Isadora for the evening. 1604 01:29:52,304 --> 01:29:55,808 -Enjoy the party, Andie. -Merci beaucoup. 1605 01:29:56,809 --> 01:29:59,770 WOMAN 1: Oh, that's stunning! WOMAN 2: Fabulous! 1606 01:29:59,853 --> 01:30:03,023 Excuse me. Two champagnes, please, sir. 1607 01:30:05,818 --> 01:30:07,528 Pardon me, young man. 1608 01:30:07,653 --> 01:30:10,406 Would you be kind enough to order me a whiskey sour? 1609 01:30:10,489 --> 01:30:11,699 Yes, ma'am, I can. 1610 01:30:11,824 --> 01:30:13,158 -Mrs. DeLauer? -Yes. 1611 01:30:13,242 --> 01:30:16,120 -l'm Ben Barry with Warren Advertising. -How do you do? 1612 01:30:16,203 --> 01:30:18,414 The pleasure is mine. It's nice to finally meet you. 1613 01:30:18,497 --> 01:30:21,417 I'm very happy to meet you, too. That's for sure. 1614 01:30:22,334 --> 01:30:24,503 Can I get a whiskey sour, please? 1615 01:30:31,719 --> 01:30:33,304 I can promise you that our presentation 1616 01:30:33,387 --> 01:30:36,390 will not weary you in the wrong way, Mrs. DeLauer. 1617 01:30:36,515 --> 01:30:41,687 I cannot wait to see what you present, Benjamin. 1618 01:30:44,607 --> 01:30:46,942 Ladies, do you see what I see? 1619 01:30:49,236 --> 01:30:52,197 Oh, Phillip, that's ridiculous. She couldn't possibly. 1620 01:30:52,281 --> 01:30:54,033 Don't be so sure. 1621 01:30:54,700 --> 01:30:56,535 She might possibly. 1622 01:30:57,202 --> 01:30:59,246 I think I'll go find out. 1623 01:31:11,884 --> 01:31:16,472 -Excuse me. You're Andie, yes? -Yes. 1624 01:31:16,555 --> 01:31:18,390 I'm Phillip Warren. 1625 01:31:18,974 --> 01:31:21,226 -Oh, you're Ben's boss. -That's right. 1626 01:31:21,310 --> 01:31:24,563 -Hi. Pleasure to meet you. -Pleasure to meet you. 1627 01:31:24,647 --> 01:31:28,525 I understand you've been an inspiration to Ben in more ways than one. 1628 01:31:28,609 --> 01:31:32,279 And I must say, you look rather inspired yourself. 1629 01:31:33,906 --> 01:31:38,327 There isn't a diamond in the room that sparkles like a woman in love. 1630 01:31:38,952 --> 01:31:40,412 Oh, no, no. 1631 01:31:41,747 --> 01:31:42,915 (CLEARS THROAT) 1632 01:31:42,998 --> 01:31:46,251 -I'm not in love. -No? I guess I was mistaken. 1633 01:31:46,335 --> 01:31:49,254 No, no, no. I mean, I just... 1634 01:31:49,338 --> 01:31:52,424 I mean, I've only known him for 10 days. I... 1635 01:31:54,677 --> 01:31:58,013 You can't... I can't be... 1636 01:32:05,604 --> 01:32:07,648 Ben is a very lucky man. 1637 01:32:08,691 --> 01:32:10,442 -Excuse me. -Yeah. 1638 01:32:13,612 --> 01:32:17,199 Mr. Warren, please don't tell him. Please don't tell him! 1639 01:32:22,371 --> 01:32:24,832 -Ben, Ben. -Hey, hello, gentlemen. 1640 01:32:24,957 --> 01:32:26,834 -Yeah? -She loves you, she loves you not? 1641 01:32:26,959 --> 01:32:29,211 -What is it? -I don't know. We'll see. 1642 01:32:29,294 --> 01:32:30,629 Ben! 1643 01:32:31,463 --> 01:32:34,174 -Mr. Warren. -Saw her, met her, she loves you. 1644 01:32:34,299 --> 01:32:36,552 You win. Get ready to pitch. 1645 01:32:37,636 --> 01:32:40,180 -All right! -Yes! Yes! 1646 01:32:41,014 --> 01:32:42,224 Oh! 1647 01:32:44,226 --> 01:32:47,229 -Congratulations, point man. -I'm very proud. 1648 01:32:48,188 --> 01:32:51,233 So, you're the new point man on the DeLauers? 1649 01:32:51,316 --> 01:32:53,527 -She loves me. -Good for you. 1650 01:32:53,652 --> 01:32:55,988 And good for whoever she is. 1651 01:32:59,366 --> 01:33:01,118 -Thank you so much. -You're so very welcome. 1652 01:33:01,201 --> 01:33:02,411 (CLEARS THROAT) 1653 01:33:02,494 --> 01:33:05,497 -Gloating, are we? -Yeah. Pretty much. 1654 01:33:05,581 --> 01:33:07,040 -Warren told us so... -Yeah. 1655 01:33:07,166 --> 01:33:09,585 You don't mess with my man, Ben. 1656 01:33:09,668 --> 01:33:11,587 Your man Ben is a cheater. 1657 01:33:11,670 --> 01:33:13,797 The girl has known about the bet from the beginning. 1658 01:33:13,881 --> 01:33:15,924 She was playing along so Ben would win. 1659 01:33:16,008 --> 01:33:18,469 Tell him to enjoy his short-lived, ill-gotten victory. 1660 01:33:18,552 --> 01:33:20,929 We're going to talk to Warren. 1661 01:33:22,347 --> 01:33:23,515 No. 1662 01:33:31,023 --> 01:33:32,816 -Hey. -Remember us? 1663 01:33:32,900 --> 01:33:34,359 -Hi! -Hi. 1664 01:33:34,443 --> 01:33:38,197 You know, Warren is gonna come over here in a minute, 1665 01:33:38,280 --> 01:33:42,409 and it would be so great if you could just, you know, 1666 01:33:42,493 --> 01:33:46,121 like, act like you don't know anything about the bet. 1667 01:33:46,205 --> 01:33:50,334 I mean, if you could tell him that you really, truly love Ben, you know, 1668 01:33:50,417 --> 01:33:53,921 and you weren't just, you know, pretending so he would win, 1669 01:33:54,004 --> 01:33:56,590 that would be huge. 1670 01:33:56,673 --> 01:33:59,176 So what's the average Composure reader like? 1671 01:33:59,259 --> 01:34:02,304 Spunky, insatiable. Uppity, you bet. 1672 01:34:02,387 --> 01:34:04,223 If you'll excuse me, Lana, 1673 01:34:04,306 --> 01:34:08,101 there's a beautiful young woman in a yellow dress that I must go to. 1674 01:34:08,185 --> 01:34:10,270 Andie! She's my how-to girl. 1675 01:34:10,354 --> 01:34:11,480 -How-to? -Yes. 1676 01:34:11,563 --> 01:34:17,444 Right now she's doing an article called How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days. 1677 01:34:17,528 --> 01:34:19,780 -Look him straight in the eye... -Yeah, and just... 1678 01:34:19,863 --> 01:34:22,074 You love Ben, and you never heard anything about any bet. 1679 01:34:22,157 --> 01:34:23,992 (CHUCKLES) Yeah. Love, no bet. 1680 01:34:24,076 --> 01:34:25,869 I understand. 1681 01:34:25,953 --> 01:34:28,330 Awesome. That's great. Thank you. You look beautiful. 1682 01:34:28,413 --> 01:34:29,915 (LANA LAUGHING) 1683 01:34:29,998 --> 01:34:32,167 This poor schmuck she's been pretending to date, 1684 01:34:32,251 --> 01:34:35,462 well, not even pretending to date, she's actually dating the guy. 1685 01:34:35,546 --> 01:34:38,715 She's doing the most atrocious things to him. 1686 01:34:38,799 --> 01:34:41,927 She's actually named his... 1687 01:34:43,178 --> 01:34:45,055 She's named his... 1688 01:34:50,060 --> 01:34:51,603 You're Krull. 1689 01:34:59,278 --> 01:35:03,615 Ladies and gentlemen, may I ask you all kindly to be seated. 1690 01:35:03,699 --> 01:35:06,660 -Now that we're all suitably frosted… -Benjamin, where have you been? 1691 01:35:06,743 --> 01:35:08,996 We haven't much time to play. 1692 01:35:09,079 --> 01:35:11,039 PHILLIP: …and the ladies do look lovely, 1693 01:35:11,123 --> 01:35:16,003 please help me give a warm welcome to our special guests of the evening, 1694 01:35:16,086 --> 01:35:18,589 Mr. and Mrs. Frederic DeLauer! 1695 01:35:27,764 --> 01:35:32,019 And now I want to introduce a true musical legend, who will perform 1696 01:35:32,102 --> 01:35:38,901 some of his Oscar, Grammy, Tony and Emmy award-winning songs. 1697 01:35:38,984 --> 01:35:41,987 Mr. Marvin Hamlisch. 1698 01:35:42,070 --> 01:35:43,697 Marvin! 1699 01:35:43,780 --> 01:35:45,574 (BAND PLAYING ONE) 1700 01:35:51,288 --> 01:35:53,123 Thank you very much. I really do... 1701 01:35:53,206 --> 01:35:58,128 Well, yes! Give another hand for… Marvin Hamlisch is in the house! 1702 01:36:02,591 --> 01:36:04,718 A lot of you out here don't know Benjamin Barry. 1703 01:36:04,801 --> 01:36:06,720 Well, shame on you. 1704 01:36:07,888 --> 01:36:10,599 'Cause he is a very talented advertising executive 1705 01:36:10,682 --> 01:36:14,645 and knowledgeable sports fan and a wagering enthusiast. 1706 01:36:15,854 --> 01:36:20,692 But, most impressively, he is one hell of a singer, 1707 01:36:20,776 --> 01:36:24,237 and he has prepared a little musical snack 1708 01:36:24,321 --> 01:36:27,240 for his new special friend Mrs. DeLauer. 1709 01:36:27,324 --> 01:36:29,368 Oh, isn't that wonderful? 1710 01:36:29,451 --> 01:36:33,497 So, Ben, why don't you come up here and sing your song? 1711 01:36:36,291 --> 01:36:37,793 Come on, Ben! 1712 01:36:38,543 --> 01:36:41,546 Ladies and gentlemen, Benjamin Barry! 1713 01:36:43,090 --> 01:36:44,549 Come on, Ben. 1714 01:36:52,724 --> 01:36:53,934 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 1715 01:36:54,017 --> 01:36:56,186 Andie, Andie, whoa, whoa, don't run off. Don 't run off! 1716 01:36:56,269 --> 01:36:59,982 Ladies and gentlemen, you do not want this young lady to leave the room. 1717 01:37:00,065 --> 01:37:02,526 Thayer, Tony, would you stop her, please? 1718 01:37:02,609 --> 01:37:05,237 You see, tonight, the really special event 1719 01:37:05,320 --> 01:37:08,991 is that we will be singing, her and I, a duet. 1720 01:37:09,074 --> 01:37:10,575 Yes! Miss Andie Anderson! 1721 01:37:10,659 --> 01:37:13,912 Would you please give her a warm round of applause! Thank you! 1722 01:37:13,996 --> 01:37:16,665 Andie! Andie Anderson. 1723 01:37:19,751 --> 01:37:21,253 Knock them out. 1724 01:37:21,336 --> 01:37:25,966 Let's see what our song tonight will be. Maybe one of her personal favorites. 1725 01:37:27,050 --> 01:37:29,720 Marvin, do you know You're So Vain? 1726 01:37:30,804 --> 01:37:32,764 That's not one of my songs. 1727 01:37:32,848 --> 01:37:35,726 Can you work with me, Marvin? Yeah? 1728 01:37:37,602 --> 01:37:41,189 (SINGING) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 1729 01:37:41,273 --> 01:37:43,984 You walked into the party 1730 01:37:44,067 --> 01:37:47,612 Like you were walking onto a yacht 1731 01:37:47,696 --> 01:37:51,241 You had your hat pulled down real strategically over one eye 1732 01:37:51,324 --> 01:37:53,910 You had a scarf I think it was apricot 1733 01:37:53,994 --> 01:37:55,787 -Strategically tipped below one eye. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1734 01:37:55,871 --> 01:37:57,706 You had one eye in the mirror 1735 01:37:57,789 --> 01:37:59,875 As you make sure you got a real cool... 1736 01:37:59,958 --> 01:38:01,293 -Gavotte. -Gavotte? Yeah. 1737 01:38:01,376 --> 01:38:04,379 (SINGING) And all the girls think that they'd be your partner 1738 01:38:04,463 --> 01:38:06,715 They'd be his partner 'cause 1739 01:38:06,798 --> 01:38:09,718 He's so vain 1740 01:38:09,801 --> 01:38:12,304 You probably think this song is about you 1741 01:38:12,387 --> 01:38:15,098 Ben Barry, you're so vain 1742 01:38:15,182 --> 01:38:17,684 You probably think this song is about you 1743 01:38:17,768 --> 01:38:19,895 Don't you? Don't you? 1744 01:38:19,978 --> 01:38:21,855 Tone-deaf and drunk is not a good combination. 1745 01:38:21,938 --> 01:38:25,734 You fooled me to win a bet and you should feel ashamed 1746 01:38:25,817 --> 01:38:28,153 Look, you took me to a goddamn Celine Dion concert 1747 01:38:28,236 --> 01:38:30,197 You made me miss the big game! 1748 01:38:30,280 --> 01:38:32,365 Oh, smart guy's a rhymer 1749 01:38:32,449 --> 01:38:36,411 Well, do we want everybody to know your lovemaking is lame? 1750 01:38:36,495 --> 01:38:38,080 Maybe 'cause you named my penis 1751 01:38:38,163 --> 01:38:39,372 Yeah, you named my penis 1752 01:38:39,456 --> 01:38:43,376 You named my penis after a dame! 1753 01:38:43,460 --> 01:38:45,712 I really think you have to get over that. 1754 01:38:45,796 --> 01:38:48,757 BEN: Come on. You're so vain! ANDIE: No, you're so vain! 1755 01:38:48,840 --> 01:38:50,258 This is the worst thing I've ever heard. 1756 01:38:50,342 --> 01:38:51,968 BEN: You know that this song's about you, don't you? 1757 01:38:52,052 --> 01:38:58,058 -No! Because you're so vain! -So vain! You're so vain! 1758 01:38:58,141 --> 01:39:00,977 Yeah, you do know the words so well, don't you? 1759 01:39:01,061 --> 01:39:04,397 There she goes, ladies and gentlemen. There she goes. 1760 01:39:04,481 --> 01:39:07,400 -Thanks, guys. -Take it from here, Marvin. 1761 01:39:08,110 --> 01:39:10,654 (MRS. DELAUER LAUGHING) 1762 01:39:11,154 --> 01:39:13,657 Wasn't she wearing the Isadora diamond? 1763 01:39:13,740 --> 01:39:15,951 Isadora! Mon dieu! Security! 1764 01:39:17,911 --> 01:39:19,913 No, no, no, no. 1765 01:39:19,996 --> 01:39:22,124 Hold on, Andie Anderson. I'm not done with you. 1766 01:39:22,207 --> 01:39:24,960 You used me to get ahead in your work... 1767 01:39:25,043 --> 01:39:27,838 -I used you? -...you arrogant, backstabbing jerk! 1768 01:39:27,921 --> 01:39:29,840 -Hold it! Lady, hold it! -Come on, Andie. 1769 01:39:29,923 --> 01:39:32,843 All right, you drove me half insane for a goddamn magazine article. 1770 01:39:32,926 --> 01:39:35,762 Oh, yeah, and you told people you could make any girl fall in love with you, 1771 01:39:35,846 --> 01:39:37,681 -and I, I was exhibit A. -Ma'am? 1772 01:39:37,764 --> 01:39:38,890 Time out! 1773 01:39:38,974 --> 01:39:40,100 -What? -What? 1774 01:39:40,183 --> 01:39:41,893 Look, please, just give me the necklace. 1775 01:39:41,977 --> 01:39:44,771 Then you guys can go on and kill each other. 1776 01:39:49,693 --> 01:39:52,654 So that's what I was, huh? I was a guinea pig. 1777 01:39:52,737 --> 01:39:54,447 Somebody you could test your theories on? 1778 01:39:54,531 --> 01:39:59,244 Yeah, and l was just a girl somebody picked out in a bar. 1779 01:39:59,327 --> 01:40:01,496 Yeah, you know what? Big deal. 1780 01:40:01,580 --> 01:40:05,959 Hell, I'm sure now you can even use it as a little twist in your story. 1781 01:40:06,042 --> 01:40:08,962 That's a good idea. Maybe we should bet on it. 1782 01:40:09,546 --> 01:40:12,174 You know what? You did your job now, Andie. 1783 01:40:12,257 --> 01:40:14,843 -Yes, I did. -You wanted to lose a guy in 10 days. 1784 01:40:14,926 --> 01:40:18,722 Congratulations. You did it. You just lost him. 1785 01:40:20,682 --> 01:40:22,434 No, I didn't, Ben. 1786 01:40:23,560 --> 01:40:26,563 'Cause you can't lose something you never had. 1787 01:40:49,502 --> 01:40:53,256 Well, it's not what I expected. 1788 01:40:55,842 --> 01:40:57,552 It's better. 1789 01:40:57,636 --> 01:40:59,221 Congratulations. 1790 01:40:59,304 --> 01:41:02,641 This shows me you're ready to be unleashed. 1791 01:41:03,350 --> 01:41:06,645 From now on, feel free to write about anything. 1792 01:41:07,979 --> 01:41:09,314 Anything? 1793 01:41:09,689 --> 01:41:11,983 Wherever the wind blows you. 1794 01:41:14,694 --> 01:41:18,198 -Even politics? -The wind's not going to blow you there. 1795 01:41:20,951 --> 01:41:23,828 What about religion, poverty, economics? 1796 01:41:23,912 --> 01:41:26,623 This wind is really more of a light breeze. 1797 01:41:26,706 --> 01:41:28,416 (SCOFFS) 1798 01:41:28,500 --> 01:41:32,337 -What can I write about, Lana? -Whatever you want. 1799 01:41:32,420 --> 01:41:37,175 Shoes, laser therapy, dressing for your body type. 1800 01:41:37,259 --> 01:41:40,262 Use your imagination. The sky is the limit. 1801 01:41:43,932 --> 01:41:47,143 -Thank you for this opportunity, Lana. -Okay. 1802 01:41:48,812 --> 01:41:52,107 And thank you for making it easy for me to turn down. 1803 01:41:58,113 --> 01:42:00,573 No, I mean, look, it's not something I'm proud of. 1804 01:42:00,699 --> 01:42:03,285 Obviously, if I could do it over again, 1805 01:42:03,368 --> 01:42:06,204 I'd do some things differently, you know. 1806 01:42:08,707 --> 01:42:12,127 I tell you, it's good to talk to you, though, man. It really is. 1807 01:42:12,210 --> 01:42:13,420 (BARKS) 1808 01:42:13,545 --> 01:42:17,590 I know it. You are the only one that knows us both. 1809 01:42:19,217 --> 01:42:20,427 Yeah. 1810 01:42:26,057 --> 01:42:27,559 You wanna go? 1811 01:42:28,560 --> 01:42:30,395 You wanna go to the game? 1812 01:42:31,062 --> 01:42:32,856 Well, go ahead, 'cause I'm not going. 1813 01:42:32,939 --> 01:42:36,901 ANNOUNCER: Seventh and final game, in what has been a classic series… 1814 01:42:36,985 --> 01:42:39,446 MICHELLE: Sweetie, I wouldn't have gone either. 1815 01:42:39,571 --> 01:42:43,658 I mean, I would have liked to have gone, but you probably wouldn't let me. 1816 01:42:47,287 --> 01:42:49,581 You're doing the right thing. 1817 01:42:50,749 --> 01:42:52,334 Oh, sweetie. 1818 01:42:52,417 --> 01:42:53,752 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 1819 01:42:54,502 --> 01:42:56,338 There's the Chinese. 1820 01:42:59,132 --> 01:43:00,592 I'm coming! 1821 01:43:06,181 --> 01:43:08,808 -Okay, so that's gonna... -MIKE: Michelle. 1822 01:43:11,436 --> 01:43:16,399 Andie, that wasn't the Chinese. It's Mike. 1823 01:43:16,483 --> 01:43:19,611 -Mike! -Yeah. What do I do? What do I do? 1824 01:43:19,694 --> 01:43:21,154 Talk to him. 1825 01:43:22,030 --> 01:43:23,448 Okay, okay. 1826 01:43:26,618 --> 01:43:27,786 Okay. 1827 01:43:31,039 --> 01:43:32,290 Mike? 1828 01:43:33,625 --> 01:43:34,793 Mike! 1829 01:43:35,543 --> 01:43:37,796 -Hi. -Hi. 1830 01:43:40,465 --> 01:43:43,885 So, what are you doing here? 1831 01:43:44,677 --> 01:43:46,554 I don't know, exactly. 1832 01:43:47,138 --> 01:43:49,182 It was last night, I was... 1833 01:43:49,974 --> 01:43:53,228 I was just lying there and trying to sleep. 1834 01:43:53,311 --> 01:43:56,689 And you know that perfume you sprayed on my pillow? 1835 01:43:57,732 --> 01:44:00,652 -Oh, yeah. -Well, that smell is gone now. 1836 01:44:01,361 --> 01:44:04,656 And, Michelle, I want it back. 1837 01:44:05,490 --> 01:44:06,533 Um... 1838 01:44:08,993 --> 01:44:11,663 I don't know if you can have it back. 1839 01:44:15,667 --> 01:44:16,835 Right. 1840 01:44:17,377 --> 01:44:18,545 Yeah. 1841 01:44:19,087 --> 01:44:20,338 Okay. 1842 01:44:22,674 --> 01:44:26,177 But I'm willing to consider it. 1843 01:44:27,262 --> 01:44:29,264 Okay. Yeah. 1844 01:44:31,015 --> 01:44:32,767 -These are for you. -Thank you. 1845 01:44:32,851 --> 01:44:35,103 Hi. Hi. 1846 01:44:43,278 --> 01:44:45,113 (MOUTHING) Oh, my God! 1847 01:44:47,949 --> 01:44:51,244 -We could... -I remember where you live. 1848 01:44:56,082 --> 01:44:57,709 Who needs men? 1849 01:44:59,419 --> 01:45:03,715 Ladies, frost yourselves. 1850 01:45:07,552 --> 01:45:09,220 (CHUCKLING) 1851 01:45:09,721 --> 01:45:12,056 MAN: And cut it! Very nice! 1852 01:45:13,099 --> 01:45:16,394 Okay, let's go. One more. Right away, people. 1853 01:45:17,228 --> 01:45:19,981 We'll keep working on it. Tim, can I see playback? 1854 01:45:20,064 --> 01:45:21,441 Open me, Ben. 1855 01:45:21,566 --> 01:45:25,445 -Please, break my binding. Please! -Jesus, get that out of here, man. 1856 01:45:26,779 --> 01:45:29,491 -You might want to read this. -No, thanks. 1857 01:45:30,408 --> 01:45:31,576 Okay. 1858 01:45:32,243 --> 01:45:34,579 "I've lost a guy and I don't know why. 1859 01:45:35,497 --> 01:45:36,748 "What went wrong? 1860 01:45:36,831 --> 01:45:38,625 "When I started writing this month's column, 1861 01:45:38,750 --> 01:45:42,253 "I wanted to commit those certain, silly dating faux pas. 1862 01:45:42,337 --> 01:45:43,713 "What I didn't realize 1863 01:45:43,796 --> 01:45:47,300 "was that I was making the biggest mistake of all." 1864 01:45:48,134 --> 01:45:50,011 Here. Trust me. 1865 01:45:51,346 --> 01:45:52,680 Read it. 1866 01:46:09,322 --> 01:46:11,115 WOMAN: Come on set. 1867 01:46:22,126 --> 01:46:23,461 Andie Anderson. 1868 01:46:34,806 --> 01:46:36,808 -Excuse me, ma'am. -Holy crap! 1869 01:46:36,891 --> 01:46:39,185 -Where's Andie Anderson? -She's not here. 1870 01:46:39,310 --> 01:46:40,603 -Where is she? -She quit. 1871 01:46:40,687 --> 01:46:42,146 She's got an interview in Washington. 1872 01:46:42,230 --> 01:46:44,190 -When's she leaving? -Today. 1873 01:46:44,315 --> 01:46:46,317 -When? -Well, like, now. 1874 01:46:49,821 --> 01:46:51,531 You're not a therapist, are you? 1875 01:46:51,656 --> 01:46:53,366 (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Oh, no. 1876 01:46:54,158 --> 01:46:55,868 Good job, though. 1877 01:46:58,246 --> 01:47:00,164 You owe me 300 bucks. 1878 01:47:00,915 --> 01:47:03,126 (FOLLOW YOU DOWN PLAYING) 1879 01:47:18,349 --> 01:47:19,559 Andie! 1880 01:47:23,396 --> 01:47:24,606 (HORN HONKING) 1881 01:48:26,000 --> 01:48:27,251 Andie! 1882 01:48:28,586 --> 01:48:31,631 -Ben! -Pull over, we need to talk! 1883 01:48:32,173 --> 01:48:34,425 Are you trying to get yourself killed? 1884 01:48:34,509 --> 01:48:37,595 If that's what it takes, yeah! Now pull over the cab! 1885 01:48:38,471 --> 01:48:41,557 Sir? Excuse me, sir. Could you please pull the car over? 1886 01:48:41,641 --> 01:48:44,686 We're in the middle of a bridge, lady. I can't pull the car over here. 1887 01:48:44,769 --> 01:48:47,980 Okay, well, then do you have an ashtray or something I can throw up in? 1888 01:48:48,106 --> 01:48:49,607 Hey, lady! 1889 01:48:50,108 --> 01:48:51,192 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1890 01:48:51,275 --> 01:48:52,777 (HORNS HONKING) 1891 01:48:54,487 --> 01:48:56,280 MAN: Watch it, broad! 1892 01:48:56,364 --> 01:48:59,158 -What the hell was that? -Is this true? 1893 01:49:00,618 --> 01:49:01,828 Ben, please. 1894 01:49:01,953 --> 01:49:05,623 Is this true or are you just trying to sell magazines? 1895 01:49:09,001 --> 01:49:10,837 I meant every word. 1896 01:49:13,798 --> 01:49:15,800 Well, where are you going? 1897 01:49:16,342 --> 01:49:19,846 -I have an interview. -Yeah, in Washington. I know. 1898 01:49:24,517 --> 01:49:26,352 Where are you going? 1899 01:49:28,229 --> 01:49:31,858 Ben it's the only place I can go and write what I want to write. 1900 01:49:33,151 --> 01:49:35,236 No, I'm not buying that. 1901 01:49:35,486 --> 01:49:37,405 You can write anywhere. 1902 01:49:39,490 --> 01:49:41,367 I think you're running away. 1903 01:49:41,492 --> 01:49:44,328 Why don't you save your mind games for your next bet, okay? 1904 01:49:44,454 --> 01:49:46,372 I am not running away. 1905 01:49:48,499 --> 01:49:49,876 Bullshit. 1906 01:49:57,508 --> 01:49:58,843 Excuse me? 1907 01:50:02,054 --> 01:50:03,639 You heard me. 1908 01:50:06,976 --> 01:50:08,352 Bullshit. 1909 01:50:11,314 --> 01:50:13,483 Hey, lady, what do you wanna do? 1910 01:50:14,525 --> 01:50:16,736 Take the lady's luggage back to her place. 1911 01:50:16,861 --> 01:50:19,071 She has alternate transportation. 1912 01:50:22,366 --> 01:50:24,202 You calling my bluff? 1913 01:50:25,661 --> 01:50:27,330 You bet I am. 1914 01:50:45,765 --> 01:50:49,101 BEN: Look who made the trip with me. ANDIE: It's our love fern! 1915 01:50:49,227 --> 01:50:52,313 Oh, Benny Boo-Boo Boo-Boo-Boo! 1916 01:50:52,396 --> 01:50:53,856 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1917 01:50:53,940 --> 01:50:55,608 (WEIGHT OF THE WORLD PLAYING) 1918 01:52:56,729 --> 01:52:58,439 (L-O-V-E PLAYING)