1 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:56,880 BEEPING 2 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:58,920 MALE VOICE ECHOES: Time of death is 17.34. 3 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,360 BABY CRIES 4 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:12,640 Oh, my God! I'm so excited! How is Lisa? 5 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,240 Can I see her yet? 6 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,600 What's happened? 7 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:16,920 Is it the baby? 8 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:23,800 Lisa? 9 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,680 CALL TO PRAYER ALERT 10 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:27,760 Abir! Where are you?! 11 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:29,640 I've called Lisa's parents repeatedly, 12 00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:32,200 I've called your parents! No-one is answering. 13 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,360 Look, if I don't hear back in 30 minutes, 14 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:36,360 I'm going to call the police. 15 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,560 Zayd's going to be up in a couple of hours. What am 16 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:40,880 I supposed to tell him about where his mum's got to? 17 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,080 Alhamd lilah, you're safe! 18 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,520 Is everything all right? What happened? 19 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:54,960 Why'd you turn your phone off? 20 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:57,280 Seriously, I was worried. I ran out of battery. 21 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:00,040 It's 4.30 in the morning! I lost track of time. 22 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:03,480 I didn't even realise. Have you eaten? Yeah. 23 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,400 I made you eggs and a fruit salad. 24 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,280 Thank you. Is Lisa OK? 25 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,800 Yeah, fine. 26 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,840 Well, then, what happened? You should have called. 27 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:14,600 I just... 28 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,960 You know I've got a mad week prepping for the launch, 29 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,600 and the last thing I needed was to be up all night worried about you. 30 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:20,720 You needn't have. 31 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,400 Needn't have what? 32 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:23,640 What? Put our son to bed? 33 00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:24,960 Or worry about your wellbeing? 34 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:27,760 Or make you food the morning after you disappeared without a trace? 35 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,440 Abir? Are you even listening to me? 36 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:33,640 Hmm? Right, well, you sort yourself out then, yeah? 37 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:35,400 HE SIGHS 38 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,960 CHATTERING 39 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,520 Oh, no. 40 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,360 No, no, no - we can't have all of this in one package! 41 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:53,720 Who's made this one? 42 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:56,760 Hang on, hang on. 43 00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:01,280 Can I please... Can I have your attention, please? Hello? 44 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,800 Hi, sorry. 45 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:07,320 Thank you. And thank you for giving up your time today. 46 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:11,080 We've had some really special donations this year, mashallah. 47 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:14,080 And I think we'll be able to put together a real 48 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:15,640 treat for families in need. 49 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:19,080 Now, most of us have been blessed enough to have had an easy 50 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:23,080 Ramadan so far, so let's consider how we can pass on that 51 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,280 goodwill to others who are less fortunate. 52 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:29,440 Salam! Sorry I'm late. 53 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,120 I thought you had your appointment? 54 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:32,600 Chaos this morning. 55 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:35,360 I get a call telling me there's no clinic at The Mill, right? 56 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:37,240 Cause Ruhma's been redeployed or something, 57 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:39,960 and they're saying they want me to see someone else at the hospital 58 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:43,000 so I'm like great, maybe I can see Malika again. 59 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:46,800 Thing is, apparently she is having some time off! 60 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,000 Well, great, you can start helping then? 61 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:52,040 Thing is, I know Malika. She doesn't take time off for nothing. 62 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:55,960 So I asked around - turns out she's off sick 63 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:57,560 cause one of her mums died! 64 00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,560 Who, er, who was it? 65 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,200 No idea. 66 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,600 Ain't that mad though? What is? 67 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:06,560 A mum dying in childbirth. Didn't think that happened any more. 68 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,680 Inna lillahi... 69 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:12,040 BOTH: ..wa inna ilayhi raji'un. 70 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,520 Do you think Malika blames herself? 71 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:16,760 No. 72 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:20,080 But still, it's got to be tough. 73 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,400 I mean, she's a great midwife, delivered my youngest 74 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,280 and taking care of this one. 75 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:25,800 Didn't she deliver your Zayd? 76 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,760 She did. 77 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,560 I think we should do something, for Malika. To cheer her up. 78 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:31,680 Like what? 79 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:33,800 Ask some of this lot, 80 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,400 the mums, I mean. 81 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:40,000 Maybe they can record some video messages? Sounds good. 82 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,760 We could call it Operation Make Malika Merry Again. 83 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,880 Make Malika Merry Again. 84 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:50,080 Get it? Abir? 85 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,280 Yeah. Yes. It's a great idea. 86 00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:54,880 Yeah, let's do something to really take her mind off it all. 87 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,280 Exactly what I was saying. 88 00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:58,760 Yeah, cool. All right, I'll get on it. 89 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,320 Allahu Akbar. 90 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:02,880 What do you want me to say? 91 00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:06,680 I think one billion people around the world are telling you 92 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:08,840 just how great they think you are right now. 93 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:11,520 And I'm not saying you're not, I'm not. 94 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:12,640 It's just... 95 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,720 Loss is hard to process. 96 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:22,200 Mothers are sacred, especially during childbirth. 97 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:26,680 It feels really wrong to have not been able to do anything to help. 98 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:29,160 Lisa is... 99 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:31,960 ..was... 100 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:41,040 She...she was going to be the most spectacular mother. 101 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,840 Sometimes you can just tell, you know? 102 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:05,360 As-salamu alaikum. How was your day? 103 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,160 Zayd's with my parents. 104 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,200 I've got work to do. 105 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,560 What's that? "How was MY day?" 106 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:14,640 Oh, great, thank you so much for asking! 107 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,120 You wouldn't believe how many donations we received. 108 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,760 I reckon we'll be able to help 109 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:21,160 double the number of families this year. 110 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:24,800 "Wow, Wifey, that's great news, I'm so proud of you." 111 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,320 Thanks, husband, it feels great knowing that you've got my back. 112 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:30,200 Look, if you're going to go out gallivanting for hours being 113 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:31,520 a goody-two-shoes, great. 114 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:33,600 But try to have my back for once, 115 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,200 and maybe not sabotage my plans to try and help this family. 116 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:40,160 What plans? Did you call the estate agent today? 117 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,040 I'm sorry. I'll call first thing tomorrow. Promise. 118 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,840 There's no point. The agent called, 119 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:46,760 he said he accepted the other offer. 120 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:50,480 It was a genuine mistake, Hamza, it totally slipped my mind. 121 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:54,880 And it was at the top end of our budget, so, maybe for the best. 122 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,440 What's right for us will find us. We'll keep looking. 123 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,400 Why do I feel like I'm the only one taking our future seriously, Abir? 124 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,320 What? Because I don't want to waste our life together 125 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:05,120 looking at houses that we don't need? This place is enough. 126 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:07,040 But you just said we'll keep looking. 127 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,240 So which is it? We looking, or not? 128 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:12,120 Well, if it means that you'll have to spend even more time at work for us 129 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,600 to afford it, then no, I don't want to look at any more houses. 130 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,920 And what I want is for you to not to go back on what you say. 131 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,840 Look, I thought we were in this together. 132 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:21,240 How can we be, when you're never even here? 133 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:23,640 Between your parents and work, I barely see you. 134 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,480 Says the woman waltzing in hours later than she said she would be. 135 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,840 Didn't even bother to text. Again. 136 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,760 Wait, are we leaving the tablet with her? I guess so. 137 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,200 Unless you want her to watch it right here on the doorstep? 138 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:46,400 No, but I thought maybe we could watch her watch it? 139 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:48,480 Like, inside, on the sofa, or something. 140 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:50,280 She's going to want to watch it more than once though. 141 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:51,800 Then why didn't we email it? 142 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,960 The file was too big and I don't understand the cloud. 143 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,160 No, it's really easy, my daughter taught me, 144 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,440 all you need to do is just... Hi. 145 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,680 What, uh... What are you doing here? 146 00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:02,920 Friendly neighbourhood sisters delivering 147 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:04,400 a bundle of joy to you, for once. 148 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,680 You got me a tablet? The special delivery is what's on the tablet. 149 00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:09,600 Yeah, definitely not my tablet itself. 150 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,480 Shall we can come in and show you? 151 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,040 Now isn't a great time. 152 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,560 Grief is a tricky beast. 153 00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:17,440 It's totally valid to need some time. 154 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:22,320 Thanks. See you. 155 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,880 She's not going to watch it, is she? No. 156 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,600 Back to the drawing board? Back to the drawing board. 157 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,560 She's still got the tablet. 158 00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:34,960 You'll get it back, don't worry. 159 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,800 So, in conclusion, you're great and we love you. 160 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,760 So from the mums here and all of our little ones, 161 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,000 we want to thank you for everything you do 162 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,240 for the mothers of Letherbridge and beyond! 163 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,400 And we look forward to seeing you again soon. 164 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,240 WHISPERING: Between you and me, I just want to say that I get you. 165 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:56,880 When I was going through some other stuff, my counsellor told me 166 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,600 that grief brings up loads of other emotions. 167 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:03,000 So, like, maybe, you could try listing everything you're feeling? 168 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,640 That's from me - bye! 169 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:15,640 OK. 170 00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:18,960 Er... 171 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,440 ..I feel... 172 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:23,040 I feel weird. 173 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,920 I feel...angry. 174 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:30,720 I feel like I just want everyone to leave me alone. 175 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,200 I feel... 176 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,120 ..like this is so stupid. 177 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:38,480 I just... 178 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:41,360 Why am I even bothering? It's ridiculous. 179 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:46,720 She's going to give the tablet back at some point, though, right? 180 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:51,200 Definitely. My husband worked a whole month to afford that. Mm. 181 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,720 How about a surprise Iftar? 182 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:55,760 Here? Her favourite foods? 183 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:58,360 You could make that lamb dish? The one with all the pine nuts? 184 00:11:58,360 --> 00:11:59,840 No problem. 185 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:01,760 Who are you texting? 186 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:03,960 No naughty messages until sundown. 187 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,240 Oi, cheeky. It's the PTA group chat! 188 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:10,280 Guess who's in charge of organising the Eid fundraiser? 189 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,640 Girl, you know you don't need to do everything? 190 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:16,200 When's the last time you and Hamza organised something for each other? 191 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:20,080 Nothing wrong with keeping busy. And I'm fine. 192 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:23,160 I'm managing the school run in between all five prayers. 193 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,320 I'm eating plenty of protein at Suhur, 194 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:28,240 and I'm getting over 10,000 steps in. I'm fine. 195 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,440 I've got everything I need. Yeah, if you say so. 196 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,640 Why a surprise Iftar though? 197 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,400 There's no better way to show someone that everyone is 198 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,800 welcome in this community, than a massive meaty mound of rice 199 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,800 and some sickly-sweet desserts, right? 200 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,000 Gets her out of the house, too. 201 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,040 She's already back at work. 202 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:50,080 Not too much further for her to come here then. No, exactly. 203 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:51,840 So imagine this. 204 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:56,240 There's no way that you can prepare for something like that. 205 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:59,120 You need to talk to someone, the staff at The Mill, 206 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:02,680 they're lovely, they will want to help. I guess. 207 00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:04,520 PHONE BEEPS 208 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:10,880 Seriously? Everything all right? 209 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:14,040 Oh, some women at the Islamic Centre 210 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:16,200 are having a community Iftar and... 211 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:17,920 Listen to this. 212 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,640 "Are you having a hard time this Ramadan? 213 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:24,720 "Is your cup empty from helping others? Let us rejuvenate you! 214 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:28,400 "You are cordially invited to a special community Iftar 215 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,040 "designed to uplift and re-inspire you! 216 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:33,360 "Food and festivities in abundance." 217 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:34,880 Thanks, but no, thanks. 218 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:38,040 Now that's targeted advertising. 219 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:39,560 You should go. 220 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:42,480 Let them take care of you a little. Hm? 221 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:46,160 I think I'd rather spend the evening alone. 222 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:50,680 Maybe have a chat with God, ponder the meaning of Ramadan etc, etc. 223 00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:54,040 You can't isolate yourself after a loss. 224 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:56,840 They make me uncomfortable. 225 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:59,320 I'm not the best Muslim and they're... 226 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,480 Well, they're doing stuff like this. 227 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,080 I always wonder if they judge me. 228 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:07,160 What makes you think someone is a good Muslim? 229 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,920 SOFT SPIRITUAL MUSIC 230 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:52,720 PHONE RINGS 231 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:59,480 Hi, babe! Where are you? We're going to be late. 232 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:03,600 So, uh... Listen, you know I totally believe in you, don't you? 233 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,040 You've totally got this, but... 234 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,320 Don't. Don't you dare say you're not coming. 235 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:09,720 It's a community Iftar. 236 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:13,280 I can't leave now, someone will end up burning the whole place down. 237 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,760 Do you know how important this product launch is for me? 238 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:18,400 I've been working on my speech for months. 239 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,720 I even paid for a baby-sitter! What happened to save-save-save? 240 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:25,360 Don't let me down. I need you there. 241 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,240 You absolutely don't. 242 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:30,120 You've been preparing for this for ages remember? 243 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,320 You promised. 244 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:34,040 Abir! She's not coming. 245 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:35,600 Move on to plan B. 246 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,880 Did you hear that? Look, I've got to go. I love you. 247 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,240 RINGTONE 248 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:03,040 SHE PRAYS 249 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,240 Allahu Akbar. 250 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:42,520 SHE PRAYS SOFTLY 251 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:50,480 That looks great, you've outdone yourself. 252 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,440 CHATTERING 253 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,880 I hope she's in. I think she's going to love it. 254 00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:01,880 You should have seen the look on your face, we proper got you. 255 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:04,680 Jela, this is too much, you didn't need to. 256 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:06,280 Don't know bout you, but I haven't eaten all day 257 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:09,240 and I'm kind of hungry. Why are some days so much harder than others? 258 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:12,000 All I could think about today was Jalebis. It was pastry for me. 259 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,960 I didn't care what kind, as long as it was pastry. 260 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,760 What's this about? 261 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,320 Oh, that's me and my Uni mates. 262 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:22,120 We were raising money for the local neo-natal unit. It looks like fun. 263 00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:24,440 They're great. Shame I don't see much of them these days. 264 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,520 We got scattered around the country. 265 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:28,040 Busy lives and all that... 266 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,200 We keep in touch online though. 267 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:34,000 Malika, where do you keep the fancy glasses? Wouldn't you like to know! 268 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:38,200 There's always something to keep me busy. Hey, thank you. 269 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:44,440 Hey, you're still up? How'd it all go? Fine. 270 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:46,760 No-one clapped, but whatever. No-one? 271 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:50,120 A smattering maybe, I don't know. It's a bit of a haze, 272 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:53,680 very anti-climactic. You must be exhausted. 273 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:57,120 I'm going to bed. Please stay down here tonight. 274 00:17:57,120 --> 00:18:00,200 Seriously? I would like some space. I said sorry. 275 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,720 Actually, no, you didn't. At no point have you apologised. 276 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:05,120 But you never do, cause it's just a given that what 277 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:07,760 I do is less important, less worthy than what you do. 278 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:10,200 It's Ramadan, you shouldn't have been going out anyway. 279 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,880 It was work! It always is. 280 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:13,920 What are we going to do with all this wealth that you're 281 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,760 spending all hours working for? Give it to charity? 282 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:18,960 Charity begins at home, Abir. 283 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,480 It's all well and good you dedicating your life to the 284 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:23,560 citizens of Letherbridge but what about us? 285 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,600 We need some attention, too. Your son and I. 286 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:29,560 Oh come on. It's not like you're the poor, neglected husband. 287 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:32,000 I don't think you get to decide that. 288 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,520 I didn't see you inside. 289 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,920 Thought it best to wait until it was over to pay my respects. 290 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:39,360 Can I? 291 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,680 Lisa was like my sister. 292 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,560 I'm so sorry for your loss. 293 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:53,800 No-one understood why we worked, coming from totally different 294 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:57,440 backgrounds, taking wildly different paths in life. 295 00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:01,360 But since our first day of school we just fit. 296 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:06,000 Everything's easier when she's around. 297 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,760 Why didn't you say anything? 298 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,440 I still can't get my head around it. 299 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,680 I keep thinking, "I've not heard from her in a while, 300 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:18,080 "I should text, you know, check in." 301 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,680 And then I remember 302 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:22,680 and my world shrinks all over again. 303 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:28,400 It's really easier focusing on something, someone else. 304 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:33,520 Almost like it's the only way I can keep myself moving. 305 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:37,760 Plenty of people experience bad things. 306 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:41,400 The world doesn't just stop because you're feeling a little sad. 307 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:46,680 I know I'm a bit rubbish, but a community makes time for others. 308 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,120 You showed me that! 309 00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:49,800 We could have helped each other. 310 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:53,040 Not when you've got work to finish, a child to take care of, 311 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:54,920 and a husband to pay attention to. 312 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,880 You going to help me with that, too? 313 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,880 Surely Hamza understands? 314 00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:02,080 I haven't told him. 315 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,240 He's very busy with work right now. 316 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,800 You can't hold it all in, Abir, you need to tell someone. 317 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:10,240 I'm fine. There are counsellors you could speak to. It'll pass. 318 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:11,680 I can find someone for you. 319 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,520 We can't all just take time out to process our feelings. 320 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,760 Not everyone has the luxury of living alone. 321 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,240 That's not fair. 322 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:21,400 Life's not fair. 323 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,680 This world is the testing place. 324 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:28,640 Doesn't mean you can't ask for help. No. 325 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:30,760 Thank you. 326 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,200 Look, take your time. 327 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:38,560 You know how to find me when you're ready. 328 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,600 I should go find Lisa's mum. 329 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,160 Pay my respects. 330 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,640 Has anyone seen the gold markers? 331 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,360 What about the silver ones? 332 00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:02,360 Great, how about we, erm, look for the calligraphy set? 333 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:06,840 Malika! 334 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:09,400 Salaam-Alaikum! 335 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,120 What a lovely surprise. 336 00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:13,520 Wa-Alaikum-Salaam. 337 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:16,280 I've got about an hour and a half before I need to go to work. 338 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,320 Do you need help with anything? 339 00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:19,680 How's your handwriting? 340 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,960 Barely legible. Great, better than Saadia's then. 341 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:26,240 Saadia, you're on envelope-licking duty now. Sorry, mate. 342 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:29,040 The cavalry's arrived. Give me your best legible scrawl. 343 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:33,080 Leave it to me. Do you want block capitals or bubble writing? 344 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:35,160 Do you have any glitter? Now you're talking! 345 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,760 That's the Malika I know and love. Welcome to the party! 346 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:45,680 Thanks. 347 00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:49,080 And thanks again for what you did. No thanks needed. 348 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,960 That's what Ramadan is all about, ain't it? 349 00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:52,520 Looking after for your loved ones. 350 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,640 I really appreciate the gesture. 351 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:57,520 All this has brought a lot of comfort. 352 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,920 I'm sorry about yesterday. 353 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,280 You're grieving. Emotions run high. 354 00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:18,400 It scares me, saying her name out loud. 355 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,880 From what I knew of Lisa, she'd hate the idea of being forgotten. 356 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:25,720 I know, right? She wasn't particularly loud, or expressive, 357 00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:27,760 but she hated not being the centre of attention. 358 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,960 Have they decided on a name for the baby? Not yet. 359 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:36,920 Hamza left. 360 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:38,480 What do you mean? 361 00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:40,960 I forgot to pick up our son yesterday. 362 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:44,000 I guess it was just one thing too many. 363 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,000 I got back and he was standing there, bags packed, 364 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,960 Zayd already at his parents. 365 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:51,760 What if I lose everyone, 366 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:55,240 and everything that's important to me within the space of a week? 367 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:58,200 Have you told him about Lisa yet? No. 368 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:03,000 He's too busy obsessing over what his parents want for him, for us. 369 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,200 He spends so much time trying to better our lives that 370 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:06,800 we end up barely living it. 371 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,200 You can't live your lives by others' standards. 372 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:10,440 I keep telling him that. 373 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:15,280 I haven't been able to pray 374 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:17,600 since Lisa died. 375 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,680 I don't know how to while nothing makes sense. 376 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,320 Sometimes, when I'm struggling to pray, 377 00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:26,360 I find my own way to talk to God. 378 00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:31,960 I've been putting on a show, so people can't 379 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:35,120 see my faith cracking, but I don't think I can hold it together. 380 00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:38,840 I struggled after Lisa died, too, 381 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:43,120 and I'm about to start a new job I didn't want or ask for, 382 00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:45,960 but you, Jela 383 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,000 and everyone have really helped me deal with it all. 384 00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,280 What would happen if you asked for help? 385 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:54,680 I don't think I can. 386 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:57,480 You, Abir Dawoud, 387 00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,160 if I remember correctly, 388 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:03,080 gave birth to a massive baby in such a fit of expletives, 389 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,960 the other midwife couldn't believe the sweet and nurturing mother 390 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:08,200 she met the next morning was the same person! 391 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:11,080 Is it worth fighting for? 392 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,680 Yes. Then you have to be honest. 393 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,360 It's not a fair fight if he doesn't know what's going on. 394 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:39,440 Hi. Look, don't hang up! 395 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,800 I need to tell you something. 396 00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:43,120 It's about Lisa. 397 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:55,400 There you are! You have to try these samosas. 398 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,240 Hena's friend Shellina made them. 399 00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,520 I think she's done something different with the pastry 400 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,040 but I can't figure out what. 401 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,640 Salaam. I'm sorry. 402 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,280 I'm so sorry 403 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:18,320 I didn't tell you about Lisa when it happened. I just... It's OK. 404 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,800 Head like a watermelon. 405 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,960 Not a watermelon, what's smaller than a watermelon? Cantaloupe? 406 00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:28,040 Whatever. Didn't phase Malika one bit. I'll be back in a moment. 407 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:30,600 I don't know what happened. 408 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:33,920 That's OK. I'm so sorry about Lisa. I should have asked you. 409 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:37,800 I wanted to tell you. There was just some sort of block. 410 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,360 You know? It's all right. Come here, come here. 411 00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,120 I want you to leave, please. 412 00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:01,680 She's my wife, she's coming with me. 413 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:04,400 No! Stop that right now! 414 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:07,840 No more slouching round the house in those threadbare Spider-Man boxers. 415 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:09,320 Do you ever stop? 416 00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,560 Just get off my case! 417 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:15,600 If he's done nothing wrong then he's got nothing to worry about. Yeah? 418 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:18,160 If you moved to Poland, and someone called the police on you, 419 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:19,920 how would you feel?